Archive of Our Own ^beta

“I’m sorry” Donald cried, tears beginning to pool up in his sea blue eyes. “I didn’t mean what I said.”

His lover simply shook his head and turned around, refusing to look at Trump. This action seemed to send Donald over the edge and the tears streamed down his face, glistening against the sunlight coming in through the window.

Sob sounds escaped the man’s mouth. He knew he screwed up but he didn’t know how to fix it. Suddenly a big furry paw wrapped itself around Donald’s dainty waist and pulled him in close. The other gently wiped away the man’s tears. “Oh Chewy” Trump sighed, putting his head against his lover’s chest.

They began to sway together. Chewbacca knew the way to calm his love down, enough so they could talk about what happened. Calmly the creature whispered “RRWWWGG.”

Donald visibly relaxed after hearing Chewy. His muscles became less tight and the tears less frequent.

“You always know what to say,” Donald cooed as he gently dragged his finger acrossed Chewbacca’s thin lips. The wookie cradled Donald’s head against his chest and hushed his tears.

“Hggggggggggggggggggggggg. Hgg hgg hg….hgggggggg” Chewbacca announced, sending Donald icy chills down his spine. The sixty-nine year old man didn’t know how to respond. Chewbacca was such a mild-mannered man but this… this was all Donald ever dreamed about. He looked into Chebacca’s deep black eyes, his lips trembling.

“Ch-chewwy… Do you really mean it? The sand would get everywhere!” Donald felt himself lift from the ground as Chewbacca raised him into a bridal style hold. Donald felt his heart race as the warm, furry embrace engulfed him.

Slowly they brought their faces together and their lips met. Fireworks exploded in Donald’s stomach when he felt the furry lips against his. He had missed being this close to his lover. The kiss was sloppy and desperate. They needed each other.

Chewy pinched Trump’s butt, causing the man to gasp. With the opportunity, the creature stuck his tongue into the man’s mouth. Chewy licked the inside of Donald’s mouth tasting Republican propaganda. The kiss quickly ended with a flustered looking Donald and a lust filled Chewbacca.

“I need you in me Daddy” Trump pleaded, a slight blush forming on his pale pasty cheeks. He hid his face against his lover’s chest, embarrassed by his statement.

Chewy’s eyes glazed over as a hunger filled him. He wanted to please his boyfriend and also fuck him so he knew who he belonged to\o. He slowly walked towards the bedroom, tracing Donald’s ear with his lips, whispering sweet, dirty nothings with every step. Donald’s face became as red as the Communism he hated to much.

Chewbacca kicked open the door to the bedroom and was shocked.

There on the bed laid a sprawled out Bernie Sanders. On top of him was Enrique Inglesias. “This room is occupied” the singer screeched out, continuing to thrust inside of the democratic candidate.

“What the hell are you doing in my room?” Donald questioned, jumping down from Chewy’s hold.

Bernie shrugged “we needed someplace quiet to fuck. A place where no one would look. My love for Enrique must be kept a secret.”

Chewy crossed his arms over his chest, clearly not liking people having sex on their bed. He made a mental note to buy a new mattress and sheets in the morning. “WWWWWWWGGGGHHHRRRRW” the creature huffed, stamping his foot on the ground like a child throwing a temper tantrum.

“Whoa man, take a chill pill,” said Enrique said and tossed Chewy a pill. Chewy sniffed the pill then popped it. Slowly, chewy felt himself get ugly. He looked down at Donald, drool dripping from his mouth.

“DIDDLY DIDDLY DIDDLY DIDDLY DIDDLY” he growled, raising Donald Trump in the air like a mad man. Donald screamed for help, but nothing came. His lover was far too busy getting ugly.

“DIDDLY DIDDLY DIDDLY” it sang, the tears leaking from his hairy eyes. He couldn’t stop singing that stupid yet catchy Jason Derulo song.

Donald grabbed Chewy’s arm attempting to calm down his ugly boyfriend. “I promised I would love you no matter what” the man reminded, kissing up the hairy arm. “You will never be ugly in my eyes.”

Laughter could be heard from the bed, as Enrique stood up. He lifted up his hands and held them out like he was Jesus getting nailed to the cross. In a fluid motion, his shirt ripped off of his body to reveal a hairless chest. His eyes became black and his pupils disappeared. “You have passed the first test” he hissed, his skin began to wither away.

What once was the spanish singer turned into a green lizard like creature. The scales were a sickly green and his tongue looked very snake-like. A tail sprouted from the back of him. Donald was pretty sure came out of his asshole.

“Did that snake-like tail come from your asshole?” Asked Trump. Enrique Snake-scaley-ass nodded, whipping his bizarre tongue left, right, then left again. This tongue dance began to arouse Trump, and he started to feel turned on. “C-could you… could you do that closer to me?” He asked.

Enrique slithered his body closer to Trump and tongued at his Republican-flavored eye. The taste was disgusting, but he got a kick out of seeing the old man squirm with delight. He was a people pleaser, in many ways.

Chewy roared a mighty roar and lunged itself at the lizard creature. He called on his animal spirits and punched Enrique through the heart. A sick crackling sound filled the room as Chewy pulled out the creature’s beating heart.

Then to show his dominance, Chewbacca ate the organ in one bite. Enrique though didn’t die right away. He slithered over to Bernie who was still laying on the bed with his ass out and ready.

Enrique finished fucking his love and died during his climax while maintaining eye contact with Chewy and Trump the entire time.

To say Trump felt uncomfortable was an understatement. He wanted to look away but no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t.

Bernie let out a mighty moan, the moan of Socialism. “Eeeeyyeeaaahhuuahahauahuaha” he said as Enrique returned to his human form. This made Bernie angry. His lover, the only one worthy of his beauty had vanished. He then pulled his pants up and put his fire lord garb on.

It was unsure why Donald and Chewbacca didn’t like.. Stop any of this from happening. They knew this was gonna lead to a pretty crazy battle and yet, they did nothing to stop this.

Bernie stood upon the bed and unleashed his firelord powers. “FEEL THE BEEEEERN” he shouted.

“Can I not?” Chewwy said, the first actual words he ever spoke in his years of film.

“Wait you can talk?” Donald gasped, turning to his bae. “Are you fucking kidding me? I have been pretending to under fucking stand you for years.”

“Yea I know” Chewy replied with a deep German accent. “It was kinda cute but also hurt my intelligence.”

Bernie cleared his throat, not liking how quickly the others had forgotten about him. He was the freaking fire lord for crying out loud.

The democratic pushed his hands forward, releasing a blast of fire at the unsuspecting men. Chewy pushed himself and donald to the ground. “Stay behind me” it ordered. Trump didn’t need to be told twice.

Once Donald was safe behind the wookie, it stood up and fired a laser from its eyes. The laser hit Bernie in the head, temporarily knocking the man out.

“We need to get out of here before he wakes up” Chewy explained picking up Trump.

Donald though threw his hands up in a dramatic manner and flung himself to the floor. “I won’t go anywhere with you until I get some answers.”

“Fine” Chewy said, rolling his eyes. He brought his hand around his face and took off the wookie mask. Then he unzipped the Chewy suit to reveal it was Barry the Bee. “I will give you the short story. I work for Germany and you happen to be the son of Hitler. Your mom hid you away and erased all your memories. When you turn 69, she planned to tell you everything but obviously she died of old age cause she was stupid. I need to get you back to Germany for you training.”

Donald stood up and placed a hand on Chewbaccacacacacaacacacacaca’s cheek (?) and shook his head. “No. No Chewwy No. No, No No Chewy Chewy pls no”

Barry slapped the hand away. “CHEWWY ISN’T HEAR ANY MORE!” He screamed, tears falling from his face. “It was all a lie! A beautiful lie!”

“Not as beautiful as me!~” said a familiar voice. Barry’s butt clenched at the sound.

“It’s too late, Donald. We have to start the fighting now. She’s already here.” Donald raised his toupee in confusion. What could he possibly mean by ‘she’?

Suddenly, the room was filled with fog, and the sound of DJ Khaled was too loud. Then, Donald knew.

“It’s Hilary, Bitches!” Clinton said as he was floated down into the room on a golden Donkey. “Hey Donald, it’s you! A heavy jackass!”Donald screamed and hit behind Barry the Bee.

“No Donald, you must learn to fight! It’s what your father would have wanted.”

“But I don’t know how! I can’t fight, I’m just Donald Trump!”

“You’re stronger than you know, Donald!” Barry assured him and kissed his cheek. Donald’s eyes watered.

“I-I am?”

“No.” And with that, Barry chucked Donald Trump at Hillary.

A high pitched sounded left Trump’s mouth as he flew toward the woman. “You are more powerful than you realize” Bernie yelled trying to fill the man with inspiration. “Just believe in yourself.”

Donald did exactly as he was told and closed his eyes. “I believe” he said. “Yes I saw her face, now I'm a believer. Not a trace of doubt in my mind. Said I'm a believer, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Yeah. (I'm a believer) Said I'm a believer, yeah. (I'm a believer) Said I'm a believer, yeah. (I'm a believer).”

Reaching down toward his man boobs, Trump felt something pop out of his chest. He pulled out a 10 foot sword and suddenly began to question his life. How did a sword get in his boobs? Was his life becoming an anime? Will Teen Wolf ever stop being shitty?

“That’s impossible” Hilary screeched as Donald came flying at her. He swung the sword aiming at her head.

The woman swerved out of the way and then proceed to whip and nae nae to charge her powers up. “I should be president cause I understand how the kids think. I’m hip like Kanye East.”

Bernie silently brought his hand to his head. He felt second hand embarrassment for this woman. But if Hillary's dead, then everything is going good. So, Bernie decided to pull out some popcorn from his Bernie portal above his head. It was rather convenient.

Hilary’s eye glew burgandy and she raised her hand to the sky. “Go Go Suuuuuper Tits!” She squeaked and was engulfed by a huge light.

Her clothing became a rather tight pair of speedos, which her fleshy butt oozed out of like puddy. Upon her breasts was a tight bikini top. She began to clench and scream, pushing something out of her body. Trump really started hating himself for waking up this morning. This was nothing like he planned.

Hilary’s speedo began to expand until a full grown Bill Clinton popped out in the form of a giant fetus.
“No,” Trump said giving up. “There’s a lot of weird things i’m willing to put up with but giving birth to your husband ain’t one. I gotta go. I gotta not be here ever again.” But before Trump could leave, Hillary threw her Fetus-husband at Trump, getting fetus juice on his small loan of 1 Million Dollars.

“JK get ready to fight me,” Trump said and raised his sword. “But first I must go through my magical girl transformation.

As the words left his mouth a cute anime song began to play and the room filled with light. Trump’s whole body became translucent as he clothes were shed away. He lifted his hands up and a red ribbon fabric covered his arms, forming long gloves. The ribbon traveled down the rest of the body forming a blue unitard. His crotch was large and bulgy and very noticeably.

He kicked his legs up gracefully and a mini skirt formed. His hair blew from an invisible breeze and an American flag crown appeared on his head. The transformation finished with Donald Trump doing a kawaii pose.

“That took forever” Hilary sighed, looking up from her watch. “Are you ready to fight now?”

“We will fight once my back-up comes” Trump answered, with a smirk on his face.
BUT NO ONE CAME.

“Well… thisi s awkward so uh maybe we can take a lunch break or-” just as Trump was to finish his sentence Hilary slapped him with her stretchy boob. Trump just stood there in shock. Honestly what the heck was that? Why did that happen to him?

Hilary took her left boob and made it go long and stretchy like a rope. She swung her boob around like a lasso and hooked it around Trump’s thought.

The man couldn’t believe it, he was going to suffocated by a boob. What has his life become?

His face turned a dark shade of blue as the oxygen began to leave his body. The once blue eyes were red and beginning to water. He was going to die and there was nothing he could do about it.

A shriek filled the room when Hilary was impaled in the back with a bee stinger. Barry pushed his ass further into the woman, making sure his stinger pierced her heart. “Sorry I didn’t help sooner. I kinda zoned out and forgot I was even in the room to begin with” the bee explained, milking vodak out of his right nipple.

Donald Trump began breathing again, his neck fat expanding as air entered his mighty lungs. “Thank you Barry, or should I say...Theodore CRUZ!”

Barry hissed, how could he be o foolish? “Oh my little Trumpet, why don’t you just use my real name?” Barry said, unhinging his jaw as a rather large man walked out wearing a calender on his shirt. “THE ZODIAC KILLER!!!”

Trump looked at the computer screen, and into the very souls of the people reading this story. “I deserve this but still… why?”

Ted Cruz dabbed, causing a knife to appear in his hand. “It’s time to make a withdrawal from the presidential race, PERMENANTLY”

“NEVER” Trump yodeled. “I will be president. I am what America needs and deserves.”

Deep from within the trump came a rumble and a tumble and a little bit of a fumble. The back of the mini skirt fly out as Donald released the fart of all farts. A sickly green gas filled the room that would kill any man who breathed it in. The only problem was Cruz was no ordinary man.

Ted Cruz began laughing the laugh of a man who could indeed laugh. “You foolish fool who perpetrates foolishness, Do you know who I am? WHAT I AM?!”

Donald Trump raised his hand. “Um… annoying?” He asked then gave quite the hardy chuckle. He was so funny. Ted Cruz startle to cackle as his skin slowly lost color, and he became adorn with tattoos. His hair became bright green and his teeth were… I I dont know who designed this guy? This is hella gross.

“It’s me, Trumpy boy. JARED LETO’S JOKER! AAAHAHAHAHHA” he screeched. Trump raised an eyebrow.

“Oh my god. So scary. How can I defeat this?” He said, rolling his eyes. Jared Leto smiled a smile. Then, his pants seemed to stretch as if something was changing within them. Trump started backing away. He’s already been choked by a boob. He didn’t want anything else to come after him. Just as Trump was about to exit the fanfiction, a giant chicken popped out of Jared’s pants.

“Behold, my super cock!”

“I can say I didn’t expect that” Trump sighed, suddenly craving some nuggets from McDonalds.

Jared smiled a smile that showed off all his teeth but at the same didn’t. Sometimes he would blink but then other times he wouldn’t. The lame rip off of the joker added skittles to a tray full of M&Ms and Trump nearly shit himself.

He had never seen anyone do something that scary before. “Woah Jared you need to calm down” Donald begged, his voice beginning to quiver in fear. “This is just a fanfic.”

Jared smirked without using his mouth and logged onto the disney website without asking a parent’s permission.

This action sent Trump over the edge, forcing the man to leak lava from his ears and throw-up from his asshole. “Y-you gotta stop this! There are LIVES at stake!” Trump said, his body trembling.

Bernie Sanders was in the corner of the room making smores, enjoying the bizarre show before him. It’s been awhile since he’s went to the movies and he was glad he got to do something fun between campaigning. Life was nice sometimes.

Jared Leto then pulled a tattoo off his body, an image of a gun then loaded it with eggs from the giant chicken that was now chilling with Bernie. “I have quite an...EGG!” He shouted then shot eggs at Trump.

“W-was that suppose to go somewhere or are you just this patheti-OH NO.. THE EGGS.. THEY ARE...CHAAANGING MEEEEEEE!!!!!!” Trump screamed as his bones bursted from his body and Trump became a wolfshark. Jared Leto knew the time had come for Trump. He pulled out a tiny baseball bat. “His time is up, my time is now.”

The wolfshark began filing taxes and licking stop signs. He was worse than Jared Leto. But with that tiny baseball bat, Jared Leto knocked out the wolfshakr, and everything went black.

When Donald Trump woke up, he was in a white room full of sand. At the very end of the room was a jukebox.

The song fat bottom girl started playing and Donald took that as a sign that he was growing fat. He looked down at his pudgy little gut, his mouth formed a tight and precise frown. Maybe he should try weight watchers again or at least cut back to only 100 potatoes a day.

“You’re not fat, my love” a voice hissed from the corner of the room. “You are perfect and everything you do is perfect.”

“I disagree whoever you are. My whole republican party hates me” Donald cried out in a hushed yet loud whisper. “I think I should just drop out of the election.”

“NEVER” the voice screamed with such passion and heart that Donald’s heart grew two sizes bigger.

Donald felt something wrap around his tiny big fat gut. It was the winky-dinky of a strange being. Trump began to vomit in curiosity. He turned around to see the penis belonged to none other than Mermantula as it floated down from the ceiling to greet him.
“Hello”
“Hey is that your di-”
“It is me.”
“Okay but your dick tho-”
“I have come many miles to meet you.”

“I want to ask why but at the same time I don't.”

The creature corrosively rubbed its hairy spider leg on the man’s face. “Shhh darling, there isn’t much time.”

Donald shrugged and went with his gut feeling. His gut told him, well more like forced him to take his handy dandy little sword from his back top pocket and cut a hole in his stomach. The piece of flesh fell to the floor and Trump instantly felt skinner. Not only did he lose weight from the flesh missing from his body but he was also losing pounds by the second from the gaping wound on him. Now the republican party had to love him.

“Dude sir, I may not be a doctor but I think you cut out your heart.”

Donald dared his eyes to glance at the ground which they did hesitantly. If his eyes looked then it could be true. So it was decided that is left eyes would look down while the right would remain staring upward. The left eyes gasped in horror and ended up swallowing a bug which he tried his hardest to cough out. At one point the right eye had to tap the back of the left eye to prevent him from choking.

Donald’s body was a mess. He needed to fix it the only way he knew how. He whistled for his Trump-mo-bile, aka a dildo with wheels.
The giant, pulsating vehicle leaped 30 feet into the air and right between Trump’s sweet ass. He then rode that badboy out into the sunset and off to a farm, where he saw the most beautiful cow.
He then, obviously, fucked the cow raw. After hardcore mating with the cow turned to Trump.

“Hey yo, you fucked me with a calf inside. Then the calf had a calf with rabies and didn’t survive. But here,” the cow said and handed Trump a glowing worm creature. “Take this.”
“What is it”
“It’s a dragon child it will”
“Nah Im gonna eat it”
“No, please”
Trump ate the dratini.
“YOU DUMBASS” the cow mooed angrily showing off his solid gold teeth. On his forehead the word damaged in neat handwriting was tattooed and he had the word haha written on over his utters. “That was the key to winning the presidential election.”

“What happens now then?” Donald questioned with such intensity his right nipple fell off, falling nip first to the ground. The nipple instantly began growing a nipple tree of fertile and ready to reproduce nipples.

“You will become the cow version of Harley Quinn.”

“Say what” Trump moaned, feeling a tingling in his bellow button. His hands became hooves and his hair became red on one side and blue on the other.
“Don’t fight it. It’s too late”
Trumpy began to sob, then his tears became laughter.
“Thanks….PUDDIN”
A white light surrounded the Trump as he went full cow. He landed on all fours and waddled back over to the cheap knock-off of the joker. “This won’t be too bad, living the rest of my life on a farm. At least I won’t have to worry about politics.”

“Aww you’re so cute” the joker cow drooled. “You think this is a normal farm.”
“It isn’t.”
“No” the joker answered wrapping his arm around Harley Trump. “This place is a furry farm where the hardcore furries pay money to the farmer to fuck us.”

Harley spit out the grass and human limbs that were in his or her mouth (the gender is now whatever you prefer). Just then the front gates of the farm opened and Trump could see men and women in animal suits heading their way. Many of the animals laid on their heads and went ass up, ready for the penetration.

A moo left Harley’s mouth before it was pushed over by a man dressed in all leather.
“Have fun guys, just don’t hurt the animals too much. I want them to be able to walk tomorrow” the farmer joked, pulling down his pants and licking his lips greedily.
THE END