Chapter Text
Claudia,
We have landed. The Regents have set us up in a small bungalow in a comfortable neighborhood and people seem genuinely friendly. However, it still feels like their reign hovers over us and they are forever watchful. I suppose that's not the worst of scenarios at the moment. Safety is of some concern of theirs still, as is mine, since they do not know what the continued repercussions of my former activities may have on us. At least at the warehouse there was a higher level of security. So much for our attempt of trying to get away from the warehouse. Or I may just be paranoid. Myka prefers to think the latter. Time will tell. However, they continue to provide us with our means of living for the moment, despite Myka's job at the library, so we really cannot complain too much in this early stage. My 'new' occupation is as yet undetermined. Admittedly, I find it overwhelming with too many available options. I have and I do wonder sometimes if we will ever be completely severed from the warehouse.
Vanessa has been a wonderful host and a great resource. She has certainly been an added plus in acclimatizing ourselves to our temporary home. I can't say that I find Atlanta the most enjoyable of places to live. Far too hot and humid for me and I abhor living in air conditioning. Vanessa assures me that it is unusually warm for this time of year and the weather will temper soon. Myka seems to have adjusted just fine. I find that quite odd for someone who grew up in Colorado, but she says she is enjoying the idea of a winter out of the cold and snow. We'll see how she feels come Christmas time, and yes, we still plan to be there for Pete's big holiday soirée. Have you heard if Joshua will be able to make it?
We have both been cleared, as they say, from further mind digging and are on a need to see basis. It really has become quite a bore, though I do take more advantage of it than does Myka. We are both well aware that the after effects will remain with us all forever. I've already proven that once before. I just get the bonus package in life. We are managing well enough, but we have our difficulties. "You've got the tools, use them." Vanessa can be quiet annoying sometimes but is as much a part of our family as all of you. She does not realize that she slips occasionally. She still carries some guilt I fear for something she had no control of and cannot see that she was ultimately the key to my rescue and continued existence. I see it on her face whenever she sees the scar on my forearm.
My hand makes slow progress, but I am able to make a loose fist now. The specialist has given alternative options, however the thought of yet another surgery does not appeal to me. There are still many concerns regarding the amount of nerve damage. Myka has spent far too much time taking care of me from that stand point. I do not wish to wake up in a hospital bed to her worried eyes yet again, regardless of how short a period of time. I do miss writing left-handed though, as vain as that may be, but would be happy enough to hold a glass of water.
I'm very glad to hear your new found chess skills are causing Artie some distress. Steve has informed me that it is no longer a matter of who wins, which I never doubted (Artie is so predictable), but how little time it takes for you to win, which if I may say, under my tutelage, I imagine you purposefully draw out for the poor man's ego. Our sources say that he has even humbled himself by now asking for various tips to improve his own game. There is nothing more rewarding than your student becoming the teacher. I now understand Caturanga's pride at times after a good play. You will learn just as much, if not more, as teacher as you did student. I must say, that internet chess game has been great fun with you. I'm glad we are able to continue our games, but you must watch your knights!
Sorry to make this so short, but dinner appears ready. Yes, Myka has learned to cook. Well, she makes a good attempt. No more smoke now. Actually, she makes some wonderful meals. She succeeds far better with a recipe written out before her. We only have Artie to thank for getting us along on feeding ourselves.
I know you think these letters very old-fashioned, but it seems appropriate. I'm sure you prefer the ease of e-mail, but I am still a very old lady, as you so enjoy pointing out. Take care, and I expect that video of the new grappler in action very soon. Don't lose much sleep over it.
Yours truly,
-Your HG
"Oh, really, Myka. I don't understand how it is you can bare this weather. It is so oppressive."
Helena pulled the front of her tank top away from her body several times in an attempt to create some circulation of air against her moist skin as they walked down the sidewalk in the full sun.
"And England isn't?"
Despite herself, Myka couldn't help but enjoy the view Helena's actions created and smiled. She was discovering a new found appreciation for being the tallest girl in school.
"I didn't say that either," Helena responded. "If I'd wanted to go back there, we'd be in London by now. There are far better and numerous places to travel to and you really have no idea how easy travel is. I truly do not understand why you'd wish to spend time there either. I've spent enough time in England for both lives."
"Honestly, Helena, I thought you'd want to go home. I was just throwing out options, okay? I'm trying to figure out where we are going to end up and you're not exactly helping. Obviously, Atlanta is not high on your list of places to live."
"England is no longer home," she grumbled, fanning her shirt again. "If you wish to visit I will gladly take you. Aside from the fact that my home is no longer mine, it holds far too many memories of another life. I prefer to concentrate on this one."
Helena frowned, staring at the walk way in front of her feet, negotiating obstacles and people more by a sense of Myka's movements beside her than actually looking in front of her. It was a constant point of discussion lately about their immediate future. They had yet to decide where to settle. Helena was getting anxious to move on to somewhere. She'd spent too much time stationary during her recovery already and the need to explore weighed heavily on her.
"So, you're going to avoid it all together? We met there you know. We could always break in. Knowing how your brain works, I'm sure you can come up with a few things to occupy some of our time in all those secret places of yours."
In actuality, the few times Helena provided a private tour they had enjoyed many secrets places in the house. Helena was more than happy to share those spots and was very proud of herself in showing Myka the many nooks and crannies the home hid. But upon leaving, she became increasingly melancholy.
"Darling, as tempting as that may be, those secret places you care to refer to so often have been used far more than I care to remember. I will not throw you into that category. You are far more worthy." She dared a sideways glance at Myka, nearly running into another pedestrian before being pulled out of the way by Myka's quick reflexes. "I'd much rather have our own secret places."
Myka barked a laugh. "Like the warehouse library or that little room by the dark vault? I hate to tell you, Helena, but I don't think ANY of our so called secret places were all that secret."
"True. You did have a rather unique way of giving away those secrets."
Helena laughed along with Myka now. It was true they had very few secret places, if any, left. Those they had not given away themselves Claudia somehow always found and wiped from the camera footage.
"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," Myka mumbled.
"Why? Everyone else seems to have." Helena burst out a loud laugh, grabbing the attention of their fellow pedestrians.
"Me?! What about you?" Myka shouldered her slightly off balance.
"Yes, well…one could make, a, uh, a point, uh…Oh, look, here we are. I'll see you in an hour?" Helena stopped short at their destination in front of a small brick building.
"Caught with your pants down, huh?" Myka cocked her head with a smirk on her face, very proud of herself for catching Helena in one of her own verbal traps.
"Actually, a number of times, but we agreed that the past is the past, in this case a century ago, and you have no wish to be made aware of anymore details." Helena smiled back mischievously, nodding her head once.
"I don't think Claudia would agree," Myka continued, smiling.
"Well, that's her own damn fault. At least she finally learned how to knock…for the most part. Look, I must go. He gets very annoyed when I'm late and talks incessantly about the newest reality show, which he knows very well I have no interest in nor knowledge of, as my punishment."
"Fine. I know. I'll see you later. I'll get the groceries and wait for you in the usual spot."
"Oh, and Myka, don't forget about tomorrow's appointment," she threw over her shoulder on the way through the door.
"How can I forget? It's all our lives seem to revolve around now," Myka grumbled at the closed door.
Myka waited on a bench outside of the building, three bags of groceries at her feet. She looked at her watch again. Helena should have finished her PT session fifteen minutes ago. Standing up, she walked over to the building, peaking in through the window. Helena sat stoically listening to the therapist. He was animatedly demonstrating something with his hand as she stared at the mobile appendage, then glanced down at her own. She resisted knocking on the window as she looked at her watch again. She wasn't sure why she was so time conscious. It wasn't like they needed to be anywhere. They were just going home to make dinner and possibly a walk before Helena hooked up on the internet for her evening game with Claudia. Habit she supposed.
She sat back on the bench under the tree leaning her head back and looked through the branches at the sky. It wasn't the same, she thought. She missed the big maple in the garden. She sighed sitting back up straight. She was getting more restless as the days passed. At first the sedentary time was a relief, but as the days dragged on, she was getting restless. She wasn't used to staying in one place for so long. She kept reminding herself they were here for Helena's recovery. They needed the time for their recovery. Soon, PT would be more flexible and they could actually travel. That was the plan, right?
She stood up grabbing the cloth bags of groceries before the door opened and was greeted by a forced smile. She was getting used to this routine. PT was becoming more frustrating to Helena as time went by and results seemed to be so slow. She'd learned to walk home in silence and wait for Helena to talk when she was ready.
"Hey, you. What was that all about? You never stay longer than the appointed time. You're usually like a kid trying to be the first one out of school. End up getting detention?" She handed a bag over to the hand reaching out.
"Detention?" Helena scrunched her face up, looking up at Myka questioning the term.
"Detention…it's an after school punishment." Helena was clearly still confused. "Never mind. What's up?"
"Oh, just getting a little overview on our progress, or rather the lack of it. Once again he says it can take a long time." Helena was staring ahead of her focused on her destination this time. "What is for dinner? Did you get Twinkies?" she asked with child-like excitement. Myka would never forgive Pete for bringing Twinkies home.
"Well, that's one way to avoid a conversation," Myka trailed off. "Yes, I got your Twinkies and another bottle of hot sauce. I'm not sure I like that Steve taught you how to make his secret burritos, but I'm not complaining either. On the healthier side, I picked up some fresh vegetables if they haven't wilted yet. I thought we could roast them and use up the quinoa from the other night with a salad. What time is your game with Claudia tonight?"
"I don't know. She hasn't texted me, yet. Last I knew they were off on some great big adventure…" A sad smile crossed the woman's face.
"Oh. Well, that explains the last few evenings. And here I was thinking you just wanted to work up a sweat with me." Myka was desperately trying to turn the mood of the conversation around and was apparently failing miserably.
Helena stopped suddenly, Myka stopping a few steps ahead turning around to meet the dark eyes boring into her.
"Is that what you really think, Myka?" Helena spat. "That you come second to a chess match with Claudia? I'd already declined Claudia earlier in the day. That is how I know they are away. She said they were…oh, what did she say?" Helena stared up into the trees above her in thought. "Oh, yes, 'up to our arm pits in rubber duckies.' I'd love to know what that is all about," she added wistfully. "I still have the conversation on my phone if you need proof!" she ended defensively.
Myka set the two bags down on the sidewalk and stared at Helena for a moment. Despite the venom behind the harsh words she could see the tears fighting release from their dam. She knew better than to say anything about them or make that first move of physical contact. No comforting allowed. It would shoot a cannon right through the emotional dam holding back the deluge.
She looked to the same trees Helena had previously sought aid from and took a deep breath, trying fiercely to put things in perspective to the true origins of Helena's anger. She spoke quietly and gently. "Helena, what's going on? I was joking. I've never questioned the reasoning behind your advances since we've been together. I knew you set it up when I came home. I'm not stupid. I know what a special dinner with my favorite wine and the Schubert Octet has the potential to lead to. Hell, I don't need the dinner and wine. The Schubert is a nice touch, though. You know I love that romantic crap and so do you. You, sweetie, are the Queen of seduction and you know it. But I also know when you're doing it, usually." She gave Helena a soft smile, fighting the urge to touch her. "I don't think you found me fighting you off. If you remember correctly, I believe it was that damn irresistible neck of yours bent over the sink washing the dishes that ended us up in bed, 'cause we never finished them. So, really, Helena, what's going on?"
Helena glared at the ground picking up her bag. "Nothing," she said flatly. "Let's get going. I'm famished. We have vegetables to prepare and I need a shower. Perhaps my 'damn' irresistible neck will distract you later. You also seem to be quite fascinated by that lovely reminder of a bump on my collarbone recently. It least I can mostly feel that now," she spat walking away with her sack of groceries.
Myka was given no alternative but to follow as Helena left Myka far behind her on the way home.
They prepared dinner in silent synchronicity. They ate on the back patio with little conversation limited mainly to the characters Myka met at the grocery or the library and the people she watched waiting on the bench. No mention was made of their exchange on the long walk home. They sat on the bench swing enjoying the cooling evening air, much to Helena's relief. Myka sat with her knees pulled up, leaning against Helena as she periodically pushed the bench with her feet. One of Helena's request's; if they couldn't have a big maple they were certainly going to have a swinging bench. Helena jumped as her phone vibrated in her back pocket causing her to clock Myka in the back of the head with her shoulder.
"Oh, Myka! I'm so sorry. I thought I took it out of my shorts when I got into the shower. Are you okay?" She rubbed the back of the woman's head gently. Myka turned to sit up on the bench, replacing Helena's hand with her own.
"I think I'll live. It's Claudia looking for a re-rematch. Go log on." Myka smiled before accepting the quick kiss.
Helena looked at the text. "How did you know?"
"I don't know. I thought we decided we didn't really care. That's Claudia's job." She continued to rub the growing bump on her head.
"Are you sure?" Helena's eyes gleamed with anticipation.
"Positive. Go have fun and I'll clean up the dishes. You two haven't had a game in a while. I don't want to interfere with Claudia's education, as long as you promise I get control of the back of your neck later."
Helena laughed standing up and leaned down for a quick kiss. "If you get to the back of my neck that's not all you'll have control of."
Myka just smiled back conspiratorially. "I know. That's what I'm counting on…the rest of your life I think you asked, remember?"
"I did, didn't I?" Helena mused.
"Tenerife, my dear. Now go." Myka patted her butt as she hopped into the house with a squeal of surprise.
Myka had just finished with the dishes when she got the text.
-You're playing a joke, right? I'm playing against you…no offense. It's funny
-No. Doing dishes
-Seriously? Mt. Helena erupt tonight? She sucks - in HG terms that is. I may actually win
-Huh? No offense
Myka walked into the living room. She wiggled in behind Helena looking over her shoulder to watch the game.
"How's it going?" Myka couldn't resist the bare neck exposed to the cool breeze from the window.
"Fine. Why?" Helena responded distractedly bending her head forward with a moan, her eyes unconsciously closing. Even Myka could tell which side was in favor and it was not white.
"Just asking. Why are you always white?"
"Need to know basis, I think the expression is."
"I'm going to go take a shower while you finish your game. Speed?" She licked the layer of salty moisture settled on the bare skin before getting up.
"No. Only on weekends or when Artie is hovering. I think things need to speed up, though." She looked up from the screen smiling and winked.
Myka left her, heading for the bedroom, pulling her phone out on the way up the stairs.
- She's been 'off' since PT and not talking yet. Don't let her win…she'll know and ignore you for weeks. How many moves?
- Not many, but she can always throw something at me I don't see. Go for the back of the neck.
- What? How do you know!?
- I know. Dude, the corner chair is not that dark on movie night. And seriously, Die Hard? She's not that quiet. We ALL know. Geez…
- Expect a quick finish. Already went for it :)
- I noticed. She'll have me in like three moves. Damn it!
Myka laughed tossing her phone on the dresser.
Myka had been dozing when she felt her head gently shifted to the pillow from the slender shoulder. Helena was just covering her with the sheet when she perched herself up on an elbow. "Where are you going?"
Helena turned her head around before she walked out the door. "I'm hungry and very thirsty."
Sitting up against the headboard, she rubbed the sleep from her eyes that had started to settle in and pulled the sheet up under her chin against the chill attacking her damp body. Helena returned with two glasses of water, a small bowl and a Twinkie on a tray and another Twinkie in her mouth.
Myka chuckled accepting the glass of water. "I can only imagine what Pete would say if he saw you right now; naked, holding a tray and a Twinkie sticking out of your mouth."
Helena finished the confection before commenting, "I would hope I'd be more concerned about what you would say to Pete if he saw me like this, especially the cream filling. Really, darling, you have a very unfortunate habit of pulling other people into our bed at the most inappropriate times."
"Uh, no, that would be you. We already know what he thinks."
She sighed settling against the headboard beside Myka. "I suppose you're right, on both accounts." She finished half the glass of water, setting it aside before picking up the bowl.
"Do I even want to know?" Myka asked with raised eyebrows, unable to clearly see what the bowl contained.
"Know what?" Helena picked up a small round object tossing it in her mouth.
"What's in the bowl," Myka said trying to peer into it.
"Jalapeño stuffed olives." She offered the bowl. "Want one?"
Myka made a face. "Really? I'm seriously beginning to doubt your nationality and your age. And don't think I don't know you lied for your passport. I know you're biological age and so does Vanessa. It is not 36. Don't worry; your secret is safe…so far." Helena smiled devilishly, popping another olive into her mouth. Myka shook her head. "Are you pregnant?"
"Unless there is something very miraculous you are hiding from me, I would say that is highly unlikely." She chuckled. "Why would you even ask such a thing?" She asked eating half of the other Twinkie and offering the other half to Myka, who shook her head with a distinct 'no'.
"Um, let's think...You're eating Twinkies and jalapeño stuffed olives for an after sex snack and I don't want to know what else before you came back up here. And you're brushing your teeth if you plan on kissing me again tonight."
"So?" Helena almost wrinkled her nose, confused.
"Didn't you have weird cravings when you were pregnant?"
"Not that I recall, but that was quite some time ago. Was I supposed to?"
"I don't know. I've never been pregnant and never really planned on it. I always thought it was a myth. I never asked my sister and that's just not stuff my mom talks about."
Helena continued staring at her while eating more olives. "Oh, yes. I remember now. People equate pregnancy with weird food cravings like…pickles and ice cream, right?" Myka nodded. "Do you not like pickles and ice cream?"
"Not together. Do you?"
"I've never tried it. When are we going to the amusement park? I still want to ride a roller coaster."
"Wait a minute…what?" Myka was confused. "Are you having some sort of post-orgasmic hallucination?"
Helena started laughing. "What are you talking about? I don't think there is such a thing…is there? Myka, none of this is making any sense."
"Exactly!" Myka reached over the bed to pull the blanket off the floor and over them, which Helena promptly kicked off of herself.
"So, let me get this straight," Helena continued, "You don't like pickles and ice cream, so you don't plan on being pregnant." Myka stared at her not flinching as Helena ate the last olive. "Myka, you don't even like pickles. Although, you do like ice cream."
"Helena, what are you avoiding? What happened in PT?" Myka finally blurted softly, staring down at the blanket.
"What are you avoiding? You're the one not getting pregnant," she asked irritated.
"That's a different conversation. I said I never planned on it. I didn't say I wouldn't. Now tell me what is going on that has you rambling on like a bloody idiot."
"I think you're actually getting the hang of that, though it still doesn't sound right…"
"Helena…"
Defeated, Helena crashed her head against the headboard and stared at the ceiling.
"Jonathan and the specialist have been consulting. They do not feel the physical therapy will bring back the full use of my hand. There's too much damage. I'm just not able to manipulate the muscles to gain the necessary strength. I'm not even sure why I have an appointment with Dr. Jordan tomorrow." She looked at the clock, "Or rather today. There may be some hope with surgery to reconnect some of the nerves and now is the best time to do so. Regardless, the likelihood of a full recovery is unlikely."
"What is their definition of full recovery?"
"I would imagine what it was before I was so fortunate to have a lead pipe brought down upon it multiple times." She finally allowed herself to sink down into the bed with her head in Myka's lap.
"All this time you never said it was more than once. How many times, Helena?" Myka whispered into the darkness, stroking her back.
"I'm not entirely sure. I passed out after the second strike. Perhaps three times? What would be the point in continuing when your victim wasn't conscious? I wouldn't have…didn't."
Myka wrapped the blanket around the shivering body shaking with tears. They'd learned to sit quietly until the other exhausted their emotional release. It never stopped the silent tears of the listener, though. This was how they managed now. Myka handed the tissues and glass of water over to Helena when she was ready, then sunk down into the bed pulling the exhausted body against her.
"What would you accept as full recovery?" Myka asked, pushing the damp hair back.
"I wish I could build that grappler and write left-handed again, but I don't expect that anymore. I know why Claudia doesn't send me updates. She's waiting for me to help her build it. She needs to accept that I'll most likely never be able to do that again and just build the bloody thing. Right now, for me full recovery is being able to carry a glass of water to you without having to use a tray. I want the strength to do that. If I get more, then all the better. I won't complain."
"Did Jonathan think Dr. Jordan had a way of doing that?"
"Possibly."
"Then we have a Dr.'s appointment tomorrow. I already took the afternoon off. But you need to brush your teeth."
Helena sat up searching Myka's eyes. "Helena, I know earlier was about escape. I know that. I'd lie if in part it wasn't for me too. You needed it. I needed it - that connection."
Helena sat up and leaned back on her feet looking hurt.
"It's okay. You're not using me. Like I said, I needed it. I needed you. It's not like your past. I know that's what you're thinking. We both do it. Sometimes that's what we need. I still love you and I know you love me. I don't think you heard me complaining and I'm sure the neighbors would attest to that, too. Sometimes, it's the best sex we have." That got her a smile. "We have sex for a lot of different reasons based on a lot of factors and that's okay. It's okay because ultimately, I trust you to love me. So, please brush your teeth because I need to make love to you to heal both of us."
"I thought you liked those olives?" Helena smiled sadly.
"I do, but I really don't want to taste them on you right now. Preferably, sometime before we get to Dr. Jordan's."
Claudia burst into the kitchen. "Hey, guys look. I got a letter from Myka and HG!" She waved the envelope in the air. Steve tried to grab it out of her hand. "It's addressed to me, Bucko."
"Ofen it hb! Wad hay fay?" Pete asked putting his sandwich down.
Steve and Claudia turned to Abigail.
"He said, 'Open it up, what do they say," she responded nonchalantly with a vague wave of her hand.
Steve looked at her suspiciously. "Did Myka teach you Pete speak before she left?"
Abigail just shrugged her shoulders. "Well, come on, Claudia. What he said!"
Chapter Text
Hey, Pete,
Okay. Hey, everyone, because I know you are reading this to everybody. I was told it was my turn to write a letter. It's been explained to me very clearly. "There is more to life than texting and e-mail and you need to practice your letter writing skills. Hopefully, your penmanship will improve in the process." Why did I end up with the Victorian? Don't answer that. I think I have a pretty good idea what everyone of you is thinking. You can stop now, by the way.
Really, Pete, some days I'm ready to throw her back at you. Just don't accidentally fart at the table the day after she makes Steve's bean burritos. Apparently, though, belching is acceptable when she is trying to outdo me. Not surprising, but she won with an 8.4…on the Richter scale. By the way, that was without Kombucha behind it. Are we really sure she was born in 1866? Someone, please research that one. Again! I'm really not convinced yet.
I feel like I'm in high school with my teacher looking over my shoulder. In this case, she is sitting on the sofa reading, but I know she keeps looking over here to make sure I'm doing what I am supposed to be doing. As if I don't get enough of that at work. I've suggested she go into teaching. She's actually taking me seriously. So, here is my first attempt before I get yelled at for procrastinating. Again. I better get a gold star for this.
She really needs to get a job. Which reminds me; Claudia, expect something soon. She's been glued to her workbook. So much for getting away from the warehouse.
So, the library job is okay. Not thrills-ville, but it's fine for now. Somehow I ended up with story time every other week. Ironic, I know. My little band of story listeners doesn't listen nearly as well as my usual audience. Aside from Pete, no one else spent most of their time picking their nose and wiping their snotty noses on their sleeves hopefully before they wipe it on me with their sticky hands. And people think I take a shower after this because it's hot and humid. NOT! I love you, Pete! And I did catch you that once. You're so gross sometimes. As much as I like Dr. Seuss, I am tired of red and blue fish.
I really prefer my time in the research department, but I guess that's no surprise. It's amazing the amount of stuff they have. I do meet some interesting people there and it provides some funny dinner conversation.
Helena hates the heat. I think Vanessa lied. You've all experienced Helena when she gets hot and cranky. Thanks for the super-soaker. I'm not sure which one of you came up with that idea, but it comes in handy. We have some great thunderstorms, which Helena found fascinating, until one of them knocked out her laptop. Sorry, Claud. I know you miss the chess, but I really need mine for actual work. Maybe you can play in the middle of the night. I know you burn the midnight candle and she's been wandering around at night lately. She's restless. The new laptop should be here soon. By the time you get this, you'll probably already be head to head in a throw down match.
Helena decided to go through with a second surgery. Results have been poor with the PT and it's the best time for the surgery I guess. It sounds like they are going to do some nerve grafts and hope for reconnections. Vanessa can explain it better than I can, I think. So, here we go again. At least it's given her a little hope. I hate seeing her like this. It's in four weeks and we decided to do some traveling first. Not sure what arrangement the Regents have with the library, but they said OK to the time off. We actually don't have much of a plan. Stop laughing, Pete. I'm not that anal. Well, maybe okay, maybe I am but it's saved your butt plenty of times. I guess she's rubbed off on me more than I thought. We have a vague idea of driving up the coast and seeing where we end up. So expect those postcards she promised you.
Claudia, this is important. You need to start working on the grappler. She knows you're avoiding it. That hurts her more than not being able to finish it with you. It's one of her babies and she needs to see it completed. So, please, just do it. Maybe she can make the next generation with you.
Who told her about roller coasters? I had to spend a hot day at the amusement park surrounded by screaming, puking kids. Anyway, I never want to see another roller coaster anytime soon. Unfortunately, Helena seems to really like them. So, whoever you are, you can go with her the next time. We had a good day, though. I swear she has no fear. I guess in our line of work, none of us really do.
Okay. My hand hurts and she left the room. We sent a care package with a little something for everyone. Hope none of them are artifacts. Wouldn't that be ironic?
Hope you are all staying safe. And, Pete, don't touch anything!
Here's looking at you kid,
-Myka
"So, do I get to use it tonight or not?" Helena asked. She took a well planned position, leaning on the desk in a tank top, braless. "It's been days, Myka."
Myka raised her eyes to notice exactly what Helena had intended. Perspiration coated the view in front of her, drops of sweat landing on the fabric beneath. She raised her eyes higher to look into the pleading eyes.
"I know what you're doing and it's not going to work. I'm not one of your 19th century paramours that faint at your every wile. I was going to say 'yes' because Claudia already asked me earlier, but your attempt at manipulating me like this is going to make me say 'no'. Apologize to Claudia for me when you explain to her why I said 'no'." Myka looked back to the screen trying to ignore the view. Despite her words, work was now the last thing on her mind and it did not include waiting for Helena to play a game of chess.
"Please, Myka?" she begged, close to whining. "The new one isn't going to be here for at least three more days."
Myka looked up at the pouting face. "I said, no. I have work to finish. Really, Helena, did you honestly think I'd be willing to pass you the computer after this little show? I'd fall for it if you were interested in something else, like maybe me. In fact, you'd probably be backed up against the wall right now if I thought that was what you were interested in. Well, actually, I would be by now because you'd have...Never mind. For the first time in my memory that's not your intention. Why didn't you just ask me earlier when I got home? I would have said, 'yes' and then figured out another time to do my work. Seriously, you've never tried that on me before. I thought you knew me better than that."
"I do. I don't know." Helena backed away from the desk, her face in her hands. "What's happening to me, Myka? This is not me."
"You need a job. You need something besides me and chess to occupy you. I really think you should look into that Emory thing in the philosophy department. God knows you have a very unique perspective a lot of things and enjoy voicing whether anyone wants to hear it or not. You're falling back on your footprint. You don't need to be that person with me."
"Footprint? I don't understand."
"It's when we fall back on what we learned early in life. A sort of comfort zone when we are confused, stressed, or frustrated. Like a stamp in our brain. You catch me all the time doing it. You learned a way of dealing with an environment that no longer exists, for the most part you don't need to use with me. I'm not Pete. You used yourself to get what you needed and wanted. You're a master manipulator. You know that and use it to your advantage. You just got caught this time."
"Interesting." Helena sat down on the sofa. "Don't misunderstand what I'm about to do. I'm just hot." She stripped off her tank top, using it to wipe down the perspiration around her neck and torso.
"Helena, that's really not helping the situation."
"I'm sorry, Myka, but I am uncomfortably hot. I don't like 90 degree heat with God knows what as a humidity factor. I think Vanessa lied about it cooling down soon. I'm seriously considering cutting my hair off." She wiped the back of her neck with the shirt again before putting it back on.
"Then go take a shower to cool off while I finish this up. And please, don't cut your hair, yet. Give it a chance. We don't even know where we're going to end up."
"Fine. It's getting late anyway." She stood up unclipping her hair and shaking it out. "I'll just go to bed and read after my shower." She kissed the top of Myka's head on her way out.
Myka looked at the clock. It was two am. Okay, it's just us, not the warehouse. She could hear her wandering around the house. Myka stared out the window listening to the movements below. Great. She just went outside. It's not the worst neighborhood in the world, but certainly not the best either. Good luck to anyone that messes with her.
Myka got out of bed and threw on some clothes. Heading downstairs she picked up the scent of the warmed milk. Hoping she'd be lucky, she walked into the kitchen to find a steaming cup waiting for her. Okay, so maybe we are a little freaky. She picked up the cup and walked out onto the screened porch joining Helena on the swing.
"What took you so long?" Helena asked tucking her feet under her and taking a deep draw from her Snoopy mug.
"Sometimes I just think you need the time alone. How long have you been up?"
"I think you already know the answer to that."
"Yeah, I do. Claudia's in bed sleeping for once, huh?"
"Yup."
Myka turned her head sharply narrowing her eyes. "Did you really just say that?"
"Yup." Helena chuckled. "I told you I was being corrupted."
"You can't blame that one on me. It's a bloody waste to lose those Victorian standards."
Helena broke out into laughter. "Myka, my love, you really can't pull it off. Please, don't even try."
"Then don't say 'yup'. It's disturbing. I kind of like those Victorian standards. You fought them back then, didn't you?"
"Yup." Helena smiled resting her head on Myka's shoulder. She sighed heavily.
Myka rested her head against the one on her shoulder. "You've been restless a lot lately. More than usual. I've let it go hoping you'd say something, but you're holding back. Why?"
Helena released a defeated sigh and took another drink from her mug. "Fear."
"Of what?" Myka placed her hand on Helena's thigh, unconsciously dragging her fingers up and down its full length.
"The unknown I suppose. The future. 'My future has been sealed' after all." Helena watched a moth struggle frantically around the small porch light.
"Those are just cryptic words. Don't take them too seriously." Myka doodled on the knee beneath her hand with her index finger. "So, you've decided then."
"Yup."
"Plan on sharing or have I listened to you stumble around the house during the night for the last week for nothing? Not to mention you're out of character behavior. Though sometimes tempting, it's also annoying."
Helena sat up straight, jarring the swing. "Annoying? I'll remind you of that the next time I catch you looking down my shirt when you don't think I know. Has it ever occurred to you that I make it easy for you once in a while?" Helena smirked, staring out into the dark of the small back lawn. "You don't honestly think I leave that last button undone for the grocery boy, do you?"
"Well, that would certainly explain why it takes him so long to pack our groceries. You do realize he's like six feet tall and is getting a pretty good show from that height, don't you? Poor boy has to be in pain when we leave."
Helena turned her head towards Myka, cocking her head to the side, eyebrows raising into her hairline.
"Silly me. Look who I'm talking to; Miss September, 1889." Myka stared back, shaking her head. "Look, can we get back to the topic of discussion and not your cleavage, please?"
Helena sobered looking out to the lawn again, listening to the various insects wishing they would answer for her. "Myka, I don't want to wake up in yet another hospital again to your beautiful, uncertain and concerned face. I'm tired of 'recovering'. But, as much as I don't want to put either one of us through another surgery, I can't help but think it can't get worse for trying. Actually, yes, it could. I could completely lose all use of my hand, but that's not much of a comparison right now, is it? I need to try."
Myka took the hand in question in her own, kissing the tips of the fingers. "Okay. I want you to be able to feel the fullness of that kiss. I'm sorry I made it your decision, but it is your hand and your life. I'd have supported you either way and understood if you chose not to go through with it. But, I was also afraid you'd always wonder 'what if' if you didn't. That just isn't you."
"No. No, it's not. And you were right leaving he decision to me, and you have been supported on all the discussions we've had, but I don't want to be afraid of the unknown. I've never been before and I refuse to let it consume me now."
"Did you schedule it, yet?" Myka asked softly, playing with the scared fingers, wondering how much Helena feeling.
"Officially, no. I wanted to talk to you first. Unofficially, it's in four weeks. It's the soonest Dr. Jordan could schedule. I'll confirm it tomorrow. They were kind enough to hold it for twenty-four hours."
Myka took a deep breath and released it slowly before resting her head against Helena's. "Well, you better expect that little mother hen of ours to fly out here with a chess board under one arm and a new hot sauce in her hand. You're not going to keep her away, you know."
Helena smiled at the vision. "I have your chess board here with me."
They sat listening to the insect's serenade, watching the additional moths flutter around the lone porch light. The late moon started to rise. "I love you, Myka. I wish you didn't have to go through so much trouble with me."
"This is only the beginning, Helena. You have no idea how much trouble I can cause."
Helena laughed quietly. "I think I have some idea. After all, you are staring down my shirt again."
Myka quickly raised her head, surprised and embarrassed at getting caught. "If we go back inside, we won't have to worry about the shirt, will we?"
"Come on, come on, come on." Helena pulled Myka by the hand towards their destination.
"How old are you again?" Myka laughed trying to keep up.
"Today I'm ten. So, let's go. You promised, Myka. Every roller coaster," Helena begged.
Myka stopped short almost knocking Helena on her butt with the unexpected pull back on her arm and crossed her arms over her chest. "You're certainly acting ten but, you're really thirty-…"
"Don't even think about it!" Helena pointed a slender finger in her face.
"How many more are there?" Myka searched the area trying to figure out what they had missed and amazed Helena had been able to keep track.
"Three, and one re-do." Helena grabbed Myka's hand in an attempt to get her moving again.
"Seriously? A re-do?" Myka pulled the present ten-year old towards her not letting go of her hand as she came to stand in front of her.
"I promise to make it worth your while later," Helena cooed.
Myka snorted at the ploy. "I'll be too tired. Hell, you'll be too tired."
"Tell me that after a shower. I thought you liked my massages."
"Fine. Which one is the re-do?"
"The 'Pete' one."
Myka scrunched up her face trying to figure out what she meant. She casually looked around again at the various rides. "The 'Pete' one? Does it have something to do with food?"
"No! That comic book thing. Do it for Pete."
Myka pulled the crumpled guide map out of her back pocket. She was hot, tired and really wanted a shower. Some kid puked on her and she could still smell the residual odor regardless of how hard they tried to clean her leg and foot in the bathroom, Helena barely able to breathe for laughing hysterically the whole time. She looked at the map, her eyes squinting from the glare of the sun reflecting off the high gloss page. She was going to kill whoever mentioned roller coasters to this daredevil girlfriend of hers.
"You mean the Batman ride? It's on the complete other side of the park, Helena." She looked up to see Helena's radiant smile. She was having the time of her life. Tired as she already was, she smiled back, enjoying that one small fixed moment in time, committing that smile to memory for the rest of her life. "For Pete, then."
"I have to know. Who told HG about roller coasters?" Pete laughed setting the letter on the dinner table.
Claudia stared at him. "I mentioned it a long time ago, but she was totally clueless at the time. I mean she knew about them, but didn't really KNOW about them. So, don't look at me. I thought it was you."
"Me? No way." Pete shook his head frantically. "I hate roller coasters. I'd be afraid she'd drag me with her."
Steve shook his head. "Motion sickness."
"Actually, I think it may have been me," Vanessa said meekly from the doorway. "It was totally innocent!"
Everyone turned to stare at her.
Artie raised his bushy eyebrows up at her. "Do you have any idea what happens when you put ideas like that into HG's head? She never lets them go."
"It was the standard metaphor. Look, they were having a rough time. I mentioned a roller coaster and said she should try it."
Abigail burst out laughing, followed by the others. "You know, as her doctor, you really don't know her very well, do you? Poor Myka. She probably got dragged onto every roller coaster. How many are there at six flags down there?"
Vanessa shrugged. "I'm guessing a lot."
Artie snickered. "Well, at least one of them had a good time."
Claudia snorted, nodding her head. "I'm willing to bet Myka got compensated in the end. Thank God they weren't here." Everyone threw their napkins at her. "What? Like you all weren't thinking it. What's in the box?"
Steve started to rummage through the packing material, pulling each item out like it was Christmas morning. "Hmmm….one bottle of hot sauce. That's for me."
"Oh, which one?" Vanessa looked over his shoulder. "Oh, you're going to like that. You can thank me for that one. I swear Helena buys it by the case now. I sometimes wonder about her nationality."
"So do we." He pulled a CD out. "This is for you, Claudia."
"Cool! A local Atlanta band. Hey, Doc. Do you know anything about them?" She passed the CD over.
"Sorry. Never heard of them, but I tend to roam in different circles when it comes to music."
"Ah, ha. Which brings us to this." Steve pulled out an envelope handing it to Artie.
"Me? Really?" He took the envelope opening it. He smiled turning to Vanessa pulling out two tickets. "I think we have a date." He looked at the tickets. "Oh. Oh, my. An evening of Russian music. Shostakovich Violin Concerto No. 1 with Nadja Salerno-Sonnenberg."
"Hey, what's in there for me?" Pete started poking his head in the box. Steve quickly pulled it away out of his reach.
"Wait your turn." He pulled out another item. "This must be for…Abigail." He handed over a small cardboard protected envelope.
Abigail opened it carefully pulling out a small black and white photograph of a man and his dog walking up a fenced hill. "Oh, my God." Her face expressed complete shock.
Vanessa was the first to notice. "What is it?"
"This is from a photographer in, of all places, Maine. I wouldn't expect that from them, considering. I've admired his work for years. But, Maine? Do you have any idea what that must have been like for them to search this out?"
They sat back to admire the photograph. Serene, but powerful.
Steve dug in for the last item. "Here you go, Pete." Pete hesitantly reached out for the item and smiled. A brass tea pot.
"I don't get it," Claudia said.
Pete kept smiling. "You don't have to. I do." A single tear escaped.
Steve looked in the box. It was empty of all but packing material.
"Sorry, Doc., there's nothing for you."
"Oh, don't worry. I get plenty of meals and company, a whole lot of laughter, and Helena serves very good wine. It's nice for a change."
Artie saw Claudia back off into a corner. "Claudia, what's wrong?"
"Something's not right. Everything is wrong. They haven't really left. I miss them. I really do, but it's all wrong. They need to break the ties. There's too much pain to muddle through. They can't heal until they leave."
Steve cocked his head. "Claudia, what are you talking about? I think they've experienced plenty of pain. How much more do they need to muddle through?"
"I need to go to the warehouse. I can't explain. Something just isn't right." She darted out the front door, letting it slam behind her.
They were left with a closed door and a sudden unease.
A/N: Shostakovich Violin Concerto No. 1 in A minor, Op. 99, was written for David Oistrakh. He gave the premiere of the First Violin Concerto on October 29, 1955 with the Leningrad Philharmonic conducted by Yevgeny Mravinsky. It was originally written in 1947-1948. In short, due to political unrest it was not performed until after the death of Stalin. I highly recommend anyone interested to search for a recording of David Oistrakh's performance before expanding to other performers. But that's just my opinion.
Chapter Text
My dearest Steven,
The planes are shifting and it is unnerving. Any thoughts you can reveal, for something is not right. I know my continued position has always been not to bother with it, but it is strange. I imagine Claudia is remaining silent for once. She does knows something.
Surgery is set. Claudia still intends to fly out here, as you know. It is not necessary, but we know it is more for her than us. It will be nice to see her. For her sake we hope all will be quiet. She worries far too much.
Tomorrow we leave so this is short. I do apologize. We still have quite a bit to do. We may leave the day after. How strange it is to not have such time constraints. Freedom is not something I am familiar with, even after all this time. My entire life has been controlled and regulated in some form or another.
Please do not share my concerns with the others. I hope this trip will help settle the anxiety that flows below the surface.
Stay safe.
-HG
PS. What is a wet tee shirt contest?
"Are we really out of kombucha? This is the only bottle in here."
Myka turned around from the counter where she sliced up the cheese. Helena was bent over, still rummaging around in the refrigerator, desperately looking for another bottle of her home brew. Myka was thrilled when she started experimenting with a new project, but less so when they started quickly losing space. It was with a great deal of apprehension the day she had to ask Helena to keep the project on a smaller scale. She smiled now remembering Helena's reaction: an immediate rage started to grow as she stood in the kitchen with her hands on her hips coldly staring Myka down. Then she turned, her eyes circling the growing chaos of the kitchen and started giggling into a full belly laugh. "I do say, I think you may have a point in this particular case," and with a sigh agreed it may have gotten a bit out of control.
"I had to toss the last batch. It sat too long and tasted like vinegar. In this environment I swear it only takes three days to finish. You aren't really going to drink it with dinner are you?" Myka stood enjoying the view presented to her.
"That had been my plan. Why?" The bottle hissed slightly when she opened it. "We'll have to share."
"And end up in a belching contest again at the table? I thought that would be against your Victorian standards? Besides, you always win."
"Darling, there was none present the last time." She smirked pouring the drink into two glasses, handing one to Myka. "Drink it now and get it out of your system. I still have my standards, but as you've pointed out, there are many things I can still work on to assimilate." She released a huge belch.
"So you decided to use Pete as an example?" Myka took a big gulp of her own intending to win this new battle.
"I agree he may not be the best example to emulate, but he does seem to represent a large part of the population." Another large eruption emitted from the small frame, causing her to physically jerk with the effort just as Myka drank more of the effervescent drink. "It is rather fun."
Myka grabbed her stomach as a small stream of liquid ejected from her nose in a middle of a laugh at Helena's impressive production. "Oooh. Oh my God that hurts. How do you do that?"
Helena started laughing and consoling at the same time, handing her a towel. "Oh, Myka, here. Ask Pete." Myka yanked the towel out of her hand as Helena backed up continuing to laugh.
"It's not funny!" Myka yelped between her own bouts of laughter.
Helena sank to the floor against the refrigerator door. "I haven't seen such an astonishing reaction beyond Claudia's."
"Another reason not to make a new batch." Myka finished coughing. "Just toss the mother. You enjoy starting another too much as it is. I'm taking the food out to the porch. It's too damn hot in here. Bring the wine will you?" Myka wiped her forehead before picking up the tray, mumbling something about air conditioning.
"Ahem. Yes. Of course." Helena tried to get serious, draining the liquid from the jar and reluctantly tossing the remaining slimy pancakes, spontaneously laughing in short bursts. Myka was right. She'd most likely lose it knowing her skills at this point. She picked up the bottle of wine and headed out the door to be greeted by a large burst of cold water. She froze on the spot, speechless.
"Up for a wet tee shirt contest?" Myka roared at the expression on Helena's face, and then suddenly stopped as it changed, watching a dark, cold expression fall over the face, wet hair plastered against her head.
"Now, Helena…" Myka's eyes got wide as Helena carefully set the bottle of wine down on the table. "Don't you even think about it, Wells." She dropped the super-soaker Pete had sent.
"Tit for tat. Or would that be tit for tit?" Helena slowly walked down the patio stairs grabbing the hose on the side of the screened door. Myka quickly surveyed her surroundings realizing there was nowhere to go, so she stood there as Helena gladly hosed her down.
Helena dropped the hose, appreciating the soaked Myka standing before her. "Myka, have you ever considered showering fully clothed? It's actually quite pleasing. What is a wet tee shirt contest?"
"No wonder the neighbors avoid us," Myka commented standing in the middle of the lawn. "Ask the guys." She slowly walked towards the patio and dove for the still running hose, rolling to the side and soaking down her partner. Helena tried to dive to the side, but slipped in the mud created by the hose when she'd dropped it. She fell flat on her face next to Myka, who managed to roll her drenched self on top of Helena holding her down. Not willing to be the loser in this little game, Helena managed to push Myka off with an unexpected move and pressed her full body into the long frame, dominantly holding her down with her forearms.
Helena tried to shake the wet hair plastered to her face out of the way. After three tosses of her head, she gave up and fully leaned into Myka's long frame holding her head lightly as she sought out a recently long absent deep kiss. "Now who's under whom?" she whispered into her ear.
"You don't fool me, Wells. I know for a fact you enjoy being under me far more than you would ever admit to anyone but me," Myka answered quietly, returning the kiss. "And just to let you know, not that I think you've ever cared, but the creepy neighbor next door is watching everything we are doing. Remember, this is Atlanta, not the warehouse."
Helena looked up at the man staring at them. "Oh, hello there. Are you having a good evening? I'm sorry, but did your cable get knocked out? I do believe my evening has just greatly improved. So, if you'll excuse us, I think we'll be heading in just now. I do hope your cable comes back on soon." Helena pulled Myka up off the ground and headed back in grabbing the wine on her way. "Darling, do grab the tray for dinner. I'm famished. What a lovely way to cool down. I am seeing some advantages to living in Atlanta. Very refreshing way to cool off."
Tray in hand, Myka let the door slam behind her. "Do you have any idea what he's going to do?" she asked.
"Of course," she said casually, taking the tray from Myka and putting it in the refrigerator. "Let him have his horrid little fantasy. I have the real thing. We have wet clothes to get out of and this wine will come in quite handy I think. That is always the best kind of revenge."
Myka stared at the ceiling wide awake. They'd had a good laugh later eating on the patio, another bottle of wine opened. They'd finished off the evening on the swinging bench in quiet solitude, watching the evening settle in. She turned her head towards the soft snore beside her and smiled, struggling not to laugh out loud at the figure beside her in the light peeking through the window from the street joining the faint light of the bathroom. She sometimes wondered if the woman was part cat. This thought caused halfhearted arguments some mornings of disbelief. She never quite understood how the positions this woman slept in could possibly be comfortable. Helena had somehow pinned Myka's right leg down with her calf again and her foot stretched under Myka's other leg. Her right leg hung off the edge of the bed. Covers pushed aside and the sheet shoved down below her waist, the small of her bare back faced Myka daring to be touched. She'd twisted the rest of her body around so that she lay almost completely on her stomach, head resting on her crossed arms hugging a pillow facing away from Myka.
Myka clasped her legs around the one staking claim to her in sleep, leaning over towards the contortion beside her. No longer able to resist, Myka's hand was lured by the bait that lay before her. A single finger, barely touching the damp skin, slowly meandered down the warped back to the edge of the sheet and back up. Instinct alone led her to the jagged scar that ran along the edge of Helena's left scapula, circling it with wonder at its origins. She'd never asked and Helena never offered. She'd accepted it with all the other scars and wounds Helena periodically came home with, unable to explain their appearance.
She continued the tour down her left side, eliciting a slight whimper and a sigh. Helena rolled on her back with a moan, arms stretching above her head as Myka more daringly stroked the now exposed breast, circling slowly inward. Eyes never opening, Helena gasped as her body rose to meet the teasing finger. Replacing her hand with her mouth Myka quickly slid her arm under Helena's back encircling the warmth of her silent lover. She stroked down the far side, following the defined ribs and continued to trace a path along the leg still hanging off the bed, whose foot braced against the side of the mattress. The return trip brought her hand up the inside of the leg to the moist warmth demanding release. Despite all of their friends teasing them for their enthusiastic endeavors, they would never understand that the greatest heights, emotionally and physically, were achieved in silence. It could be quick or slow, but always intense and followed by silent tears.
Gulping for air, Helena stiffened tightly before releasing with a quiet squeak. Myka laid her head on the heated, damp chest, feeling the pounding of the heart beneath as another wave trembled through the body in her arms.
Ignoring the wet trails streaming down the sides of her own face, Helena wrapped an arm around Myka's back holding her close. She buried her hand in Myka's hair, firmly rubbing her scalp before running down the side of the wet cheek, erratic tears coagulating with beaded sweat covering her own body. She pulled her right foot on the bed, cold despite the overly warm night, to be taken in Myka's warming hand.
"What do you do to me in my sleep that makes that happen?" Helena asked hoarsely. She began tracing her own path over Myka's back, renewing a dance on the familiar plane. With Abigail's guidance they had been able to learn how to do this for hours; no goals, no expectations, no demands, and no destination in mind, only absorbing each other until they slowly faded into sleep wrapped closely together. Nothing more than exploring fingertips and hands. Mouths tasting and nibbling. Sighs and whispers murmured with gentle demands; "Close your eyes. Roll over. Sit up. Lie down. Put your arms there." For Myka, it was confirmation Helena was still here, alive and breathing. Still whole and safely in her arms. For Helena, it was a confirmation that she was still trusted and loved despite what she continued to believe hovered below the surface; a cold darkness in her soul created by a past of pain and confusion. The mornings would find them still tightly wrapped together, loath to wake, soaking in every fiber of the being beside them.
It was only later, after their work with Abigail, that they would happily stumble into breakfast late holding hands, faces drawn with fatigue, but calm and at peace, to be greeted by their friend's gibes and taunting at their tardy entrance. Abigail would merely smile and fill Myka's big coffee cup, standing by to top it off after Helena drank half of the dark liquid.
The raucous noise from the bedside clock startled them awake from their bliss. Myka groaned, covering her head with a pillow as Helena haphazardly pushed buttons to make the bleating stop.
"Sometimes I do detest technology," Helena grumbled, relaxing back into Myka's arms, starting to doze off again. Myka knew she was the only one to ever know this side of Helena, in either century; the soft mush that wanted nothing more than to snuggle as close as possible; for as long as possible.
Myka threw the pillow to the side and ran a hand through the soft hair, placing a kiss against Helena's temple, whispering into her ear, "I need to go to work."
"Call out sick," an almost imperceptible response was mumbled into her neck. "You don't really like the job. You're bored and unchallenged. I don't understand why you didn't let them transfer you into the field office here."
"I can't call out sick because my girlfriend is horny." Myka laughed abruptly. "Besides, we're leaving for our adventure soon."
Helena moved out of Myka's neck slightly. "I am not horny, as you are so fond of saying. Contrary to popular belief I am not the 'horn dog' that Pete referred to me as. Lucky for him, I didn't know what he meant at the time. I'm simply enjoying being semi-unconscious on you." Helena flopped over on her back with a dramatic 'Umph.' "I'm tired. I may be getting too old for our love fests."
Myka quickly pounced on her unsuspecting lover eliciting a resounding shriek of surprise. She leaned down whispering in her ear, "I hope not. After all, you are only, hmmm, thirty-six is it? I love that I can do that to you," she chuckled before kissing the tender spot below the ear.
Helena shivered from the warm breath in her ear. "Do what? Exhaust me or make me squeal like a little girl?"
"Both. But if I had to choose, I'd say neither. I'd say allowing Abigail to help us learn self-control and actually exhausting you as a result."
"As I recall, since I am now wide awake and memories are becoming quite clear, it was your lack of self-control that started it all in the first place. What exactly, if I may ask, do you do to me in my sleep? It seems the only time I respond so…" she stared at the ceiling beyond the head grinning proudly down at her, "dramatically."
"It's a secret," Myka breathed into her ear before sitting up and straddling the warm, damp body beneath her. She circled the bump on her collarbone left from one of the fractures and traced the slight rise of skin above a small plate, a minute but noticeable tension an immediate reaction in the body below her. "Are you complaining?"
"Hardly, darling! It is rather irksome though that I have yet been able to return the favor." Helena stopped the roaming hand. "I thought you had to go to work?"
"I do," Myka sighed, sitting back on Helena's legs.
"Well, then get off me or follow through with your teasing. It's already hot and you are hurting my legs."
"You stopped the hand. Share a shower?" Myka got out of the bed holding a hand out. Helena grabbed it, forcefully getting pulled out of bed and into the waiting arms.
"Only if it's a cold one." Helena disengaged herself and headed for the bathroom.
"We do have air conditioning, you know. All you need to do is turn it on," Myka said to the retreating figure.
"I hate air conditioning. It's too cold and is a shock to my system."
"And I'm getting tired of hearing you complaining about the heat," she mumbled under her breath.
Myka took a double take at the figure sitting at the table at the end of the aisle. Papers spread around the table and a workbook set on top in the middle. She had her feet on the chair with her legs hugged up close against her, chin resting on her knees. Perplexed, Myka wandered down the aisle stopping at the edge of the table.
"Helena? How long have you been here?"
Helena looked up as perplexed as Myka. "Oh, I don't know. What time is it? I had lunch with Vanessa after I finalized everything with Dr. Jordan's office and she offered to drive me home, but I asked her to drop me off here instead. I have this to finish and I thought we could walk home together."
"It's 3:30. Why didn't you come find me?"
"As strange as it may sound, dear, I honestly thought you would know." She paused. "You didn't know, did you?" Her face fell. "You always know…" she trailed off looking down at her work.
Myka scratched her head. "You look cold."
"I am." Helena had wrapped her arms around her bare legs.
"Then why are you in here?" Myka struggled to comprehend how she could have missed Helena over the past two hours.
"Because it's hot out there, and you are in here. I'm trying to finish this up to send off to Claudia before we leave." She motioned to the organized chaos typical of Helena at work.
"Hold on. I'll be right back." Myka walked away without another word. Helena watched her back as it turned around the corner before returning to her work, her pencil tapping an irregular pattern on the table's dark surface.
"Here." Helena jumped at the voice as Myka handed her a sweatshirt. "What's going on? You didn't know I was there."
"Nor you me." Helena shook her head, putting the sweatshirt on. "I don't know, Myka. Tired from last night, perhaps?" She tried to smile. "Mmm. It smells like you. I wish I could kiss you right now."
Myka grunted in response."Yeah, well, new life, new rules. I don't get it. After those nights it's usually annoyingly strong. Do you feel it?"
Helena sat still, closely examining the papers in front of her before shrugging. "I always have on some level. It's not something I ever think about, Myka. Do you? I thought we decided that was Claudia's job."
"Well, no, not really. It's just there." They sat staring at each other in the quiet of the library. "Maybe you're right and we're just tired." She returned Helena's forced smile. "I'll be done in another hour or so. I'll come get you. Okay?"
"Hmm. I'll still be here. Don't worry about the time. I have plenty here to keep me busy. I'd hoped to finish it by now." She sighed, sitting back gazing at the mess, then leaning over a sheet, making a notation.
"What are you working on anyway?"
"Additional security measures for Leena's and the guest cottages. The cottages are rather lacking considering their intended housing."
Helena continued to work, pencil end in her mouth, never looking up when Myka sat down across from her. After a moment's thought and some more notes, she looked up, raising her eyebrows with a question. "Myka?"
"I thought the whole point of this move, was to 'leave'," she quoted with her fingers, "the warehouse. How does your working on designs and projects for different facets of it count as our leaving and starting a different life? Leaving was you're idea."
"You know it was more than just my idea. I merely presented the facts as I saw them. It was a joint decision based on our endless discussions, or so I thought." Helena crossed her arms around her chest and stared at Myka across the table. Getting no further response, she picked up her pencil and went back to work, head tilted down, eyes focused on the nearly finished schematics. "I'm almost done. It's just one little project to keep me busy. Well, two. Claudia got stuck with the grappler so we needed to go back and 'tweak' a few things. I'd be willing to bet a week's worth of dinner and dishes that you make use of this department for various artifacts as well." Helena looked back up, brown eyes boring into green. Myka looked away. "I heard you talking to Pete the other night on the porch and actually giving him advice on one of his artifact searches. I'm correct in that assumption, aren't I? Why did you think you needed to hide that from me? You don't need to do that. God damn it, Myka, sometimes I think we were better with each other there than we are now."
"It has a huge archive, Helena," Myka complained. "Anyway, we're just adjusting, that's all. You didn't really think we were just going to walk out on our merry way like nothing changed, did you? I understand why you wanted to leave."
"Do you really? I thought you did, too?" Helena leaned back in the chair.
"You weren't the only one to have good reasons. Look, I need to go back to work. Can we talk about this later?"
"Fine." Helena threw her pencil on the table. "But remember WE made the decision and it's not your job anymore, either. Some travel will do us good. My hand gets fixed and we plant ourselves somewhere. Just not in Atlanta. I've taken serious thought about that philosophy idea of yours. It's not like any of my designs are worth anything to anyone else."
"We're turning on the AC when we get home."
"We most certainly will not!"
"Shhh. This IS a library; the research department no less. And, yes, we are. I'm tired of listening to you complain about being hot. I'm not exactly comfortable either. Last night was miserable. Well, obviously not all of it." She blushed looking away down the aisle.
"It's too cold," Helena complained. "The change in temperature from outside to inside is too drastic."
"We adjust our house to something moderate. I agree it's cold in here. That's why I have that sweatshirt you are happily wearing and oddly keep sniffing. Didn't notice which one it was did you?"
"Of course I did. It's the Manchester United one I brought back for you. It wasn't an easy thing to grab on that mission. We were quite pressed for time and I thought Steve was going to have a coronary." She giggled at the memory of his anxiety over missing the flight home and accused her of being more interested in getting the shirt than the artifact. He was probably partially correct in his accusation at the time.
Myka smiled at her reaction. "You need to giggle more often. It's too bad no one else gets to hear it. It's cute."
"I did no such thing. I was not giggling and I'm NOT cute. Now go back to work so I can finish this. I really do want to send it out on the way home."
"If you finish we can send it from here and not have to stop. We have tubes for that kind of stuff. We do it all the time."
Myka left her at the table staring down the empty aisle. Helena dug her phone out of Myka's old briefcase she found for her papers in the closet.
-What's going on?
-Huh?
-warehouse.
-not your problem anymore.
-Claudia….
-HG. Don't
-it's off
-I know. Stay away. Only way to fix it. Cut the ties.
-?
Not getting any further answer she tossed the phone on the table watching it slide off shattering on the floor.
"Lovely. Now I need to get another phone."
"When was the last time you talked to HG and what the Hell did you say to her? Does she know all of this," Steve motioned to the warehouse in front of him, "is going on?"
"I don't know. A couple of days ago. Why?" Claudia was furiously typing at the keyboard in front of her. "And no, she doesn't know. It's not their problem. They left."
"Well, something is obviously not right. You said everything was wrong. What's going on, Claudia? What are you not telling us?"
The increased static in the warehouse was becoming more unpredictable. Steve watched as flashes struck from one area to another, but concentrating on one.
"There's nothing to tell, Steve. I'm trying to figure it out. The warehouse isn't talking to me much, alright?'
"What?"
"She talks to me. Usually a little more subtly, but yeah. Myka and HG still have some sort of connection here. They have to break that and they haven't yet."
"So, what? They can't come back? What about Christmas? Pete's almost got it all arranged."
"I don't know yet. I don't think the physical is the problem. It's something else and I can't tell you."
"Why not?"
"Trust me, I just can't. Why'd you ask anyway?"
Steve looked at the paper in his hand. "No reason."
Claudia's fingers froze and she quickly turned around to look at his hands. She tried to grab the letter, but he was too quick, shoving it into his mouth before she could grab it.
"Really? You're eating it?"
"Uh, huh." He nodded voraciously.
"You really suck, dude."
Steve swallowed with difficulty. "She told me to."
"Better hope she ran out of poison ink. I already know anyway."
Chapter Text
Steve,
Surgery was pushed up due to a change in the Dr.'s schedule. I am sorry Claudia cannot make it. It would have been nice to see her in person. It is just as well. We are both adults, after all, even if we may not act as such on many occasions and she can be just a bit too much of the mother hen.
Our travel plans have changed. Myka went back to work and instead we are trying to make arrangements for a trip to Tenerife. Myka claims she would like to spend more time actually exploring the island and not each other. As there has been little exploring going on, that is unlikely to be a problem. Claudia's comment was not appreciated either. We first have to arrive without killing each other first. Myka seems to think the killing part is more of an issue for me and not her. I was far from amused with that comment and believe it may actually be the other way around.
I concede. She was right and I was wrong. Thank you for pointing out in your subtle way what a complete stubborn ass I can be. She is just as stubborn though! It certainly makes life interesting. There's nothing like a good old fashioned row to get the blood flowing. We could do with a bit less flow I think. We seem to be are excelling in the argument department once again. I'm sure you are too well acquainted with that, but there has been little reprieve. I fear we are not adjusting to this new life style of ours.
What is going on there and why will no one tell me?
We still plan to be there for Christmas. I miss home.
-HG
"I can't believe it. I just cannot believe it. No, I take it back. I can believe it. How many phones does this make now? You know, those things really are not time machine proof and they certainly aren't HG Wells temper proof."
Myka threw up her arms and stopped in her tracks, turning around to face a very pissed off Helena before entering the store. She started laughing, much to Helena's annoyance.
"Do you know how many phones you have gone through since I've known you? Since we've been together? Mrs. Frederic was starting to threaten to not replace them. Now I know why you were told to leave them home before going off on those secret trips of yours and it wasn't for security reasons." She sobered at the reminder of those trips and why they were now in the middle of Atlanta to get a new phone and not South Dakota this time.
Helena was scowling. "It's really not that funny, Myka. It's not as if we haven't replaced yours on more than one occasion. And if you are going to comment on one's temper, let me remind you, I was the actual target on one of those occasions. It's a good thing I have good reflexes and be very thankful your friends didn't explain that one to Artie."
Helena crossed her arms indignantly, reminding Myka of yet another precursor to the storage unit.
"I just don't think about it." Helena exclaimed in frustration. I wasn't born with a cellular phone in my hand like the rest of you, and you know very well it was for security reasons…mostly. Admittedly, there was a certain amount of wear and tear on the phones they did give me. They didn't fare much better than I did. At least they were replaceable!"
Myka smiled feebly. "And I bless every night I go to bed that you are there jamming your cold feet under me to warm them up."
She so wanted to kiss the sadness away from the face looking away from her into the distance. She wondered at times what Helena saw, but had determined she probably really didn't want to know. When Helena was ready, if ever, she'd tell her. She grabbed the bottom of Helena's shirt and gave it a tug to bring her back from the dark abyss she had wandered back into.
"Come on, Champ. Let's go get that 400th $700 phone of yours. I'm going to wander around and meet you out here."
"I think 400 is a great exaggeration on your part," Helena pouted, walking off in the direction of the phones.
Myka found herself enveloped in the overwhelming oppressiveness of the heavy, stagnant air that lingered in the house as soon as Helena opened the door. She headed straight for the kitchen with the few items of groceries they'd stopped to pick up for dinner. Myka turned quickly, stopping what she knew was seconds from emerging from Helena's mouth.
"Don't even say it!" Helena's mouth was already partially open, in the process of uttering the words Myka was tired of hearing. "We live in Atlanta. We live here because of you. It's hot here. The heat will break. I've tried, Helena. I've really tried to accommodate your ridiculous refusal to turn on the AC. Yes, it can be too cold sometimes, especially in public buildings. I work in one. But this is under our control. Turn on the god damn AC! I'm tired of hearing you complain it's too hot when there is a very easy solution to that problem. When you are hot you are irritable, bitchy, and down right miserable to be around. I've tried so hard but I just can't deal with it anymore."
"But Myka…" Helena began, a pained expression on her face.
"Don't 'but Myka' me. It's the end of the line. I'm hot. I'm tired. And honestly, as intoxicating as your scent can be to me, when you're hot and sweaty, after a while you don't smell so great. Neither do I. I'm going for a walk."
Myka headed towards the still open door and slammed it behind her, leaving a shocked and confused Helena staring at the door.
"Claudia! Can you at least tell me why it's centered over 'that' section?" Artie gestured with wide open arms towards the disturbance before heading for the warehouse doors.
"Artie! I really wouldn't go down there if I were you…" Claudia managed to grab his arm just in time with a push on her chair. "You've come a long way, but the warehouse sort of has a memory of your feelings for said former agent."
Steve leaned against the far wall, arms crossed. "She's right, Artie. You'll get zapped. Pete already did."
"Then, pray tell, what the hell is going on?" Artie shouted, veins popping out on is forehead.
"Whoa, Artie, back off. Meridians, remember? Start pushing. Don't you think if I knew I would have fixed it by now?"
Claudia stared at the erratic cloud over the one section of the warehouse, shaking her head. She had an idea, but she certainly wasn't telling anyone. It had to fix itself.
A phone on the desk rang. Claudia looked down at it before turning her head to give Steve a sly smile. "Speaking of our Victorian, it's your girlfriend, Steve." She looked at the picture that flashed at her. It was a picture of HG looking over her shoulder at him from the nude beach she and Steve frequented in Tenerife. "Really, dude, do you have any idea how totally wrong it is for a gay guy to have a picture of a naked woman on the beach on his phone?"
"Ha, ha. She reprogrammed it on me before she left." He snatched up the phone before Claudia could grab it.
"But you haven't changed it…" Claudia sing-songed back to him.
"She jammed it somehow. You should see what she used for you." In a moment of maturity he stuck his tongue out at her. "Hello?" He turned his back to the two arguing over the electrical storm in the warehouse.
"Have you even tried it?"… "Then how do you know?"… "You may actually find out it's not so bad."… "Just try it."… "Honestly? Yes, I do"… "HG, you can be so stubborn you become blinded."… "No, you don't need me to tell you that, but obviously you did. Sounds to me like Myka's been really, really patient with you."… "Think about it."… "I don't know why she walked out. I would guess because you really pissed her off."… "That's your job to find out."… "You do it all the time, HG."… "No, nothing going on here that I know about."… "No, Claudia hasn't said a word."… "Everything is fine."… "Huh, really?"… "Well, that's interesting."... "It takes time to adjust. You of anyone should know that. Look what you've had to adjust to in the past few years. Maybe the move is causing interference. I'm sure it'll be fine."… "Yeah, yeah, you too…"
Steve dropped his phone on the desk and leaned over Claudia, placing a firm hand on her shoulder. With a tight smile on his face, he quietly spoke directly into her ear, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"
Claudia slowly turned her head around to look into his blank face. Her face fell before she tried to smile, teeth showing unnaturally behind her lips. "Erk," She squeaked. "Domestic issues?"
"A little bit more than that, and I think you know more than you're saying. What's going on with the freak? Is that why we have a big black cloud over a certain part of the warehouse?"
Myka came home much later to a significantly cooler house and the kitchen light left on for her. She walked into the kitchen, dropping a bag on the table, made a margarita à la Helena style and sucked it down. Emptied, she sighed and made another before heading up the stairs to the bedroom.
She leaned against the door jamb, head resting against the wood. The bathroom light was on and its door half-shut, a small slice of light crossing the bed. Helena was sound asleep, covers pulled tightly to her chin. She still couldn't sleep without a light on. Myka frowned, fighting the tears that still scratched at her eyes since the library incident days earlier. Helena had no idea she was home. That new found emptiness in her stomach seemed to grow as she stood in the silent darkness, gazing upon what seemed like a distant face revealed in the light from the bathroom. Abruptly, she turned and trotted down the stairs and out into the heat of the screened porch throwing herself onto the swing, banging the wall as it swung back with the force.
"Shit!" The margarita spilled over her hand. Shaking the liquid dripping down her arm, she finished the remainder in one gulp before returning to the kitchen to make another.
She returned to the bench, tipping her head back, and pushed the swing more gently, back and forth. She smiled when she looked at the ceiling. Helena had gathered branches and fastened leaves to them over the swing bench in an attempt to emulate the big maple. 'After all, it is our new think spot' she'd said. 'So why shouldn't we have our tree?'
"Oh, what I wouldn't give to be there now," Myka whispered to the cacophony of insects surrounding her. Reluctantly, she picked up her phone and dialed.
"Yeah, Mykes? What's up? You okay?" Pete was breathless.
"Yes, I mean, no, I mean…"
"Hey, Mykes, can I call you back? Kind of in the middle…Ouch! Why you little…a situation here."
"Yeah. Everything's fine." The phone went dead. "Yeah, everything is just peachy."
Myka laughed at the drink in her hand finishing it off. Ignoring the insects she spoke to her empty glass, feeling the effects of its former resident. "So much for self control, Myka. You never overindulged, right? You overindulged the minute you saw her and haven't been able to stop since." She laughed again, more loudly this time. "Until recently, that is."
She set the empty glass under the bench and pushed back again, letting the momentum carry it on its own until it stopped. Helena was right. It was too hot here. They needed to find someplace to settle after she Helena was satisfied with her hand or accept the final result. She was bored at her job. They were both restless and it wasn't just the heat that had them on edge. It was always Helena that walked out on arguments. Myka accepted that as Helena's call for a time out. She still came back when she'd calmed down, or rather they both calmed down, and talked it out.
"What happened to the freak?" Myka implored the insects again. They all seemed to have an answer for her, but not one she could understand. All she could understand was that its loss felt as much physical as it did emotional. Without it they were falling apart. With the surgery moved she was spending more time at work. Helena was stuck in her workbook. They ate, Helena had her game with Claudia while she read and they went to bed. Boom…'and they all fall down'. Myka finally gave into the tears. Everything they had fought for was falling apart. Helena was right. There was never going to be an easy way with them. With that last thought, Myka headed to bed, ignoring the glass she tipped over on the way inside, and fell into bed without bothering to change. As she drifted off to sleep the last thought through her head was Helena never woke up when she landed on the mattress.
She woke up the same way she fell asleep; next to an empty cold space. She jerked the covers aside and threw something on, putting ankle socks on her cold feet. She had to admit to herself, padding down the stairs to the smell of coffee, the temperature was more than comfortable. Helena didn't even bother with tea, pouring her own cup of coffee instead and a fresh one for Myka. Not drinking it yet, she stepped out onto the porch and sat on the bench facing Myka, bringing her knees up for a place to rest her cup.
"Nice socks." Myka laughed at the Hello Kitty socks Claudia had given her as a joke for her last birthday.
"My feet are cold," she said quietly.
Myka handed her empty cup of over to Helena where it could be set on the small table with a small smile, exchanging it for the fresh cup. "Your feet are always cold. Your feet will always be cold. It can be ninety degrees out and your feet are cold." Myka lifted her legs up slightly, and waited. "Well, are you jamming them under me or not?"
Helena quickly placed her feet under the offered warmth. "Thank you."
They sat in an uneasy silence.
"Where were you last night and when did you get back? And why are we out here and not inside in the bloody air conditioning, which I admit you were right about and I was wrong." She sipped her coffee, avoiding Myka's eyes.
"I adjusted it so it's not so cold. I thought we could enjoy the fresh air before it got too hot." She set the untouched coffee in her hands down on the floor, next to the glass she tipped over the night before. "I was just out thinking, okay? I got you a new phone cover too. 'Military grade' just for you. It's on the table. I sat outside for a while before I came to bed. You were already asleep."
"I never heard you come to bed." Helena frowned. "When did you get up?" Confusion settled over her face watching an equally disturbed expression unfold on Myka's tired, drawn face.
"A couple of hours ago. I couldn't sleep." Myka pushed the bench gently with her feet.
"I thought you had to work today?"
"I called out. I'm tired," Myka stated flatly.
Helena jerked her head back in surprise. "Myka, you never miss work."
"Well, I decided since our plans got messed up, maybe we needed some day trips or something else. Maybe even an athletic nap. If you feel like it, that is. Things have gotten a little dry."
"Really, Myka, it hasn't been that long."
"In our universe it has." Myka sighed. After a moment of awkward silence she finally asked, "You don't feel it either do you?"
"Feel what, darling?" Helena wiggled her feet deeper under Myka's legs, knowing exactly what she was referring to just as the door bell rang. "Who the hell is on our doorstep this early in the morning? I'm barely dressed."
Myka stood up, grabbing the items on the floor and the cup from the table. "And that's been an issue for you since when? It's probably the grocery boy making an early delivery hoping for a big tip." Myka wandered back in as the door bell rang again.
"Touché," Helena mumbled under her breath turning to watch the birds in the nearby trees. Two squirrels chased each other in the biggest tree between their house and the neighbor's knocking more branches to the ground for her to pick up. "Little bastards."
Helena looked up at the commotion coming from the house. It was too early for visitors. Even for her. Myka stood in the doorway, a strained expression on her face, eyes cold.
"Helena, you have a visitor. Apparently, a very good friend." She stepped aside.
Helena's face turned white before quickly standing and stumbling somewhat in the process. "Michael? What are you doing here?" she fumbled, looking from one face to the other between the two in the doorway.
"I'll get you that cup of coffee to go with these scones you so nicely brought...Michael." Myka looked up to the tall handsome man beside her, smiling, before sending a volley of daggers at Helena with one glance.
The tall man walked out onto the porch, lifting her in his arms before setting her down with a deep kiss.
He laughed and then spoke with an equally smooth, deep British accent. "Helena. I came to see you, of course."
Helena tried to push him away slightly with her hands on his broad, muscular chest. "Uh, Myka, this is…"
"Yes. I know. Michael. I answered the door, remember? You might want to consider some real clothes. I'll go get that coffee. Anything for you, Helena?" Myka asked coldly.
Helena looked down at herself. She was dressed in the merest of clothes; a thin, loose tank top of Myka's, baggy boxers and her Hello Kitty socks.
"Uh, yes. I'll be right back. If you'll just excuse me, Michael." Still blanched and very much unbalanced by their new guest, she looked straight into Myka's eyes, pleading for time to explain. The question was how.
"Oh, Helena. There's no need. It's not like I haven't seen you in less. I do love the socks, though. Feet still get cold?" He laughed heartily.
"Believe me. It is absolutely necessary." Helena scurried into the house and up the stairs.
Chapter Text
"What's wrong, Pete? You look perplexed." Abigail sat down at the table across from him, eating a peanut butter cookie.
"Oh, huh? Hmm, nothing I guess." He threw the postcard in the middle of the table, not noticing her cookie. It slid over towards Abigail. He took a bite of his sandwich and said, "If jut ynda veer." He shook his head and swallowed prematurely, starting to cough.
"What's kind of weird?" She picked up the postcard. "I didn't know they were going to London. I thought Myka said HG didn't have any interest in going there."
"She did. Even I know how HG feels about London. That's what's weird. HG doesn't change her mind easily on stuff like that, even IF sex is involved."
"That's rude, Pete." She put the card back on the table for everyone else's return for lunch.
"Maybe, but it's true. Really, Abigail, you missed the beginning of the beginning, and the middle and everything else leading up to your arrival. They make up like they fight - 200% worth. Wouldn't want anyone else beside me than one of them when the shit hits the fan." He picked up the postcard. "I mean, what kind of postcard note is this is this? 'Hi, everyone. We're hanging out in London for a while. Wish you were here.' What's up with that? It's just so…lame. And so un….them."
"It is just a postcard," she suggested with little conviction.
"Maybe. But still…" He shrugged, taking another bite of his sandwich tossing the card back.
Myka stormed up the stairway, close on Helena's heels, slamming the bedroom door behind her to face a naked Helena rummaging through the laundry basket of clean clothes waiting to be put away.
"Just what the hell is going on and who the hell is in our house?" Myka demanded harshly.
Helena didn't look up from her frantic pawing through the laundry, now pulling things and tossing them aside. "Myka, please, I can explain everything. Just not now."
"So, do all of your old friends greet you so intimately?" Myka stood far back, arms protectively crossed in front of her.
Helena stood straight up, clothes in hand, and looked Myka directly in her eyes. "Myka, please listen to me," she hissed. "We do not have time for this argument right now, and I anticipate it will be one that is going to shake all of Atlanta! We have a very unexpected guest on our back porch and I cannot deal with your jealously and whatever else is going on with the person on our porch at the same time. So, please, either shut up and be a cordial host or go to work."
"There is no fucking way I am leaving this house," Myka snapped back.
"So be it. Then I suggest you suck up that heinous attitude of yours and bring the man the coffee you promised. As you've made a point of making, I need to change into respectable clothing."
She headed into the bathroom, sighing loudly. Defeated and on the verge of tears, she slammed the sink with her good hand in frustration.
"Myka, will you please pull my hair up?" she whispered into the dead silence of the bedroom.
Myka's sad face appeared over her shoulder to look at the tear stained face in the mirror. Without another word, Myka reached around in front of Helena to grab the hair brush and a tie. Task done, she placed her hands on either arm gently and bent down to kiss the still bare shoulder. She turned without another look, leaving Helena to finish dressing.
"Michael, so lovely to see you, but why, exactly, are you here?" Helena walked out onto the porch, intending to get right to the point. There was no room for charm. It had never worked on him anyway.
He stood quickly in greeting, taking both of her hands in his own, kissing her on the cheek. "I already told you. To see you, of course. I must say you are as gorgeous as ever."
Myka leaned back into the swing and rolled her eyes. Her fresh cup of coffee sat on the little table next to her along with a scone abandoned after one bite.
"As pleased as I am to see you, I can hardly imagine this is just a social visit." Helena sat close to Myka, who in turn moved away closer to the end of the swing.
He sat down in the solitary chair Myka had herded him into earlier, picking up his coffee. "Your friend makes wonderful coffee."
"She's not just my friend. She's my partner and lover. Now, why are you here?" she asked directly.
"Oh. Well, this is rather awkward then, isn't it?" His brow furrowed in concentration. "That explains a great deal. A great deal indeed."
"Michael…" A deadly tone entered Helena's voice that Myka had not heard for a long time.
"You never were one to mince words, were you? Always said exactly what you meant." Michael sat back in the chair digging through his pocket and pulled out a manila envelope. From the another pocket he dug out two phones, placing them on the table next to his chair. "You're being watched."
"I know. How daft do you think I am? The Regents haven't left us alone. They hover like hummingbirds." Helena rolled her eyes. "What's your point?"
"Be thankful for that. That's how we know you're being watched, which I find strange you didn't notice. Some of our old acquaintances. You need to leave tomorrow night. These are your tickets and two phones. I don't know where to yet. You'll be the first to know. I'll be watching over you wherever they are sending you. I'll be a day behind you, though, so stay vigilant. The contact number is already programmed in the phones. The Regents are close to gathering our friends, but we need you out of here."
"I'm supposed to have surgery on this wretched thing." Helena held up her hand.
"And you will, just probably somewhere else. Don't worry. It's being taken care of."
"What do you mean it's being taken care of? We left all of this, or rather I did, so we didn't have to worry about this kind of thing. How many friends are out there that are going to keep coming back, Michael?"
"For you? No one. Everyone else is accounted for, which is saying quite a bit. This would be our Turkish run. Not one of the neatest jobs."
Helena shook her head and stared off into the lawn. "No, it certainly was not and it was not because of me, if you remember correctly? Or are you still making up stories to blame me for that disaster?"
Michael made no response until he was reminded a third person was still on the porch with them.
"So, is she on her own again? How long is this going to follow her?" Myka demanded, slightly panicked at the thought of being separated once again.
"No, she is not alone. You are going as well. Consider it a vacation. I was told it was a desired destination of yours. That's part of what I was confused about. I should have known why it was for two. I was not given that information." He smiled standing up. "I must be going. Everything you need is in that envelope. I'm sure I don't need to tell you..."
"No one can know and trust no one," Helena whispered as she stared in front of her into the distance.
"Yes. Myka, it was my pleasure to meet you." He nodded his head at them both. "I'll show myself out. I'm sure you have much to discuss." He cleared his throat. "I am very sorry, Helena, that this has followed you. Both of you." Nodding his head again he left the two on the porch.
Suddenly Helena took her cup and smashed it against the far wall, coffee spraying across the floor. "When will this fucking nightmare be over?"
Myka went over to the table opening the envelope. "Is this some sort of sick joke?" She asked looking at the tickets. She threw them onto Helena's lap. "Great. Just great. What a way to remember an otherwise wonderful memory. Tenerife."
The door slammed behind her leaving a numb Helena sitting on the swing staring at the tickets in her lap. The house shook with the force of the front door seconds later.
"How could you not tell me? Did you think I would change my mind?" Myka stood behind the sofa, a physical barrier between the two of them. Her hands rested on the back, arms steadying her.
"From the way you are reacting, I can now see that it may have been a possibility, but no! We worked together before I came back to the warehouse. Our work was the precedent for my continued work with the Regents." Helena leaned back in the living room chair, arms hanging off the sides of the armrests.
"And it never crossed your mind to tell me? How long, Helena? How long were you with him?"
"It's not that black and white, Myka and I wasn't exactly with him in the sense you are implying. We posed as a couple. Somewhere along the way the lines blurred, but nothing more. Then, he became a contact between the Regents and I was given my…well, you know the rest of that story."
"Did you live together?" Myka stood up, backing away one step further.
Helena already had a headache. She leaned her forehead into her hand, rubbing the creases created by her squinting eyes.
"For a time, yes," she breathed out.
"How long, Helena?"
"I don't know, Myka! There was no concrete time period. What does it even matter? I wouldn't be questioning you if you and Pete had an affair!"
"So you admit you had an affair?"
Helena knew there was no way of avoiding this conversation. It meant little to her now. She wasn't sure if the association ever really had. Myka had already penetrated her unconscious mind and always lingered in the background. The shadow unwilling to disappear in the dark recesses of the territory that lay dormant in her head.
Her whole body sagged when she quietly, "What do you really want to know, Myka? Just ask. I won't lie to you. I never have." She'd finally resorted to holding the side of her head up on the armrest, her palm dug under her cheekbone, distorting the side of her face.
"Really? You've never lied to me. Then how is it, Helena, that I never heard a word uttered from your mouth about the man who was in our house?!" Myka began pacing behind the sofa.
Defeated again, she said softly, "I have never lied to you, Myka. You made it perfectly clear you didn't want to know about that part of my past."
"From the last century! I've read most of it anyway. Remember? You didn't want me to enter this relationship honestly without that knowledge. I was always the one for you. How long have you actually been in this century? You didn't think even once that he may not have been an important part of this century?"
Disgusted, Helena threw her head back against the cushioned armchair, staring at the ceiling.
"Oh, really, Myka. It's not like you don't have a past you've never shared with me. How many times have you ever mentioned any of your past lovers?" she demanded. "I've never once asked about any of them before I walked into your life. Have I ever asked about Sam? How about that hockey player?" She lifted her head, staring directly into Myka's eyes. "Yes, I know about that little incident. Pregnancy isn't all glow, is it? You can thank Pete for that, by the way. I didn't hear it from you. You never thought that was important? I don't. Does it bother me? Sometimes, yes, but we had no tangible ties to each other. Reality is we were free to do whatever we wanted. Neither of us knew if we'd see each other again. Hell, more times than not I wasn't sure I'd see the light of the next day back then. While you were playing pseudo-mommy from an artifact, I was running for my life half the time. If it hadn't been for Michael, I wouldn't be alive to be arguing with you right now!"
Myka stopped pacing, her back to Helena. "Did you love him?" she asked quietly, the words echoing in the room.
Helena closed her eyes, covering her face with her hand.
She turned at the silence, examining the hidden face. Her mouth dropped open, face falling flat. "You did, didn't you?"
"Yes, Myka, I loved him," she whispered through fingers. "Or rather, at the time, I thought I loved him."
"Did you sleep with him?"
Hands dropping from her face, Helena stood up staring Myka down with cold eyes. "Oh, come on, Myka, what difference does it make now? It's you I want to be with. It always has been, even when I tried to ignore it. I didn't know if you would consider returning my affections and didn't have the courage to find out. At that time in my life it was easier to run." She stopped. Shaking her head she added softly, "It's you I chose to give that ring to, not him."
Myka's eyes unconsciously looked at the ring on her finger. She lifted her eyes. "Did you sleep with him?"
"Listen to me very carefully, Myka," she said sternly. "Yes, I slept with him and I stress the word slept. We did not have sex. That is what you really want to know, isn't it? Is your ego that fragile? I told you, I never had any sexual relations in this century, Myka. Yes, we shared a bed, but that is all. Did I consider...having sex with him?" She crinkled her face with self loathing. "Yes, many times and on several occasions I nearly did, but I couldn't get you out of my head! What about you? Did you enjoy the affection of another? Did you have a lover? Two maybe or three or even more? I've never asked you that question. It was never important to me. You judge me unfairly. I've never desired anyone more than I have you. I was alone, Myka. I was lonely, adjusting to a new world. Some days I didn't expect to see the next. You were nowhere around, nor was there a guarantee that I would ever see you again, let alone end up in my dream world. Why, Myka? Explain to me, why I shouldn't have taken a lover? Bloody hell! You were shocked, Myka, when I said I'd been with no one in this century. Remember that conversation? It was the same night you fucked me to heaven and back for the first time! So, don't be such a fucking hypocrite!"
"Was this a farce all this time? All the supposed firsts you had because of me, despite all of your romantic involvements in your so called former life, were they all lies? Did he hold you all night, too? Did he get you through your nightmares?"
"Myka, you are not listening. I understand this is a surprise and a shock to you. Maybe I should have told you, but I honestly thought I would never see him again. He was a part of a past without you. He was part of that classified part of my life that kept you, and everyone else, safe. I couldn't have told you if I wanted to. I've never cheated on you. Michael remained a contact and nothing else after you accepted me into your life. You have to believe that. If you don't…then I don't know what else I can do to change that." Helena dropped into the chair, her head sagging into her hands, elbows on her knees.
"He didn't know about me," Myka stated flatly.
"No, he didn't. Why should he? You were not a factor at the time and when you were he couldn't. It was too big of a risk. No one shares their private lives. All he knew was that I said it was over, whatever IT was. No questions asked. He always knew something was holding me back. Now he knows who that was. It makes sense to him. Why does it not make sense to you?"
"We need to pack. I'll sleep in the guest room." Myka turned on her heel, tears rushing down her face and ran up the stairs.
"Myka!" Helena called after her, defeated.
"Claudia."
She really hated that voice sometimes. At least she didn't jump anymore. She didn't even turn around in her chair. She just kept staring into the warehouse, her chin resting in her hand.
"Yeah. Hey, Mrs. F. What's up?" she grumbled into her hand.
"Claudia." A bit more sternly now. You didn't ignore that one. Claudia spun around in her chair.
"Mrs. Frederic, how nice to see you." Claudia smiled, mimicking an air hug.
"I don't buy it, Claudia. What are you going to do about it?" Her head nodded towards the cloud.
"I don't think there is anything I can do. It has to work out on its own. They have to fix it. They have to go through whatever it is they have to go through. They are the ones that need to break the link. They need a cold boot."
"Perhaps. You know what you have to do, don't you?"
Claudia sighed, turning her chair to look at the 'Doomsday Cloud', as Pete had started to call it. It was pretty ominous looking and no one had been able to get near it except…
"Yes, you. You and Steve."
"How'd you know…?" Mrs. Frederic gave her the eye. "Never mind. I think Abigail needs to come too."
"You think that wise?"
"Well, it makes sense to me. Abigail probably knows their brains better than any of us."
"Maybe, but she doesn't have the same links that you and Steve do. She's not part of that network."
"What about Pete? He and Myka are like…uh, something. I've never really come up with an analogy for them. They're just funny as hell."
"Pete and HG cancel out Myka. In some ways more than Artie."
"I hate this metaphysical stuff."
"Get Steve and go in there. There is something in there and you know it."
"Yeah, but…" Claudia spun her chair around again to an empty office. "Why does she do that?"
"Myka, hurry up. The flight is boarding."
Helena stood in the middle of the walkway waiting for Myka to catch up.
"I'm right behind you. You haven't lost me yet, have you?" Myka snapped throwing her bag over her shoulder. "You're the one that insisted on the stupid postcard. Thanks for your help, by the way."
"It was necessary. They will start to wonder why they are not hearing from us. We'll send another from Madrid. In my experience the post usually lags a bit in Spain. Let's hope that holds true to form. Maybe we can talk some fool into sending it for us. Americans are always a good gamble for that, no offense."
"Oh, why would I be offended? We are so much more foolish and uncouth than Victorian harlots."
"Really, Myka, must you continue with this? You are just being cruel now and for no reason." She handed their boarding passes over before entering the plane. "I'm beginning to think I preferred you not talking to me. Aisle or window?"
"Whatever." Myka threw her bag in the overhead compartment.
"Fine." Helena jammed her bag under the seat in front of her. "You may take the aisle for those legs of yours. God knows I'm not allowed such access to them as I would wish anytime soon, so you might as well share them with the rest of the world instead." She turned her back to Myka and stared out the window in silence until they landed in Madrid.
"So, what happens now?" Myka finally spoke after sitting in silence for an hour in the Madrid terminal.
"What do you mean?" Helena turned to look at her for the first time since leaving London.
"I've never been in this situation before, Helena, unlike you who seems to have made a living out of it."
"Well, first I'd appreciate it if you stopped snarking at me. You are holding an unreasonable, jealous, and cruel grudge against me for no reason. Neither of us was committed at the time. I beg of you, please stop or we will be in serious jeopardy if we are traced here. Don't look at me like that. How many people did we see in Tenerife that were not walking around completely moon-eyed and snapping at each other instead? We need to blend in and you know that. So get over it already. As for making a living of this, I had no choice in the matter. My main concern, at all times, was keeping you safe and getting back to your arms in one piece," Helena griped under her breath with a well trained smile on her face. "That's what kept me going."
"Fine. So now what?" Myka was close to pouting.
"Stop being so petulant. You have no idea who may be watching. We'll end up in a safe house posing as some sort of hostel. It will not be glamorous, but it will be clean. Michael will contact us on one of the phones when he arrives. Beyond that we act like the loving couple we are supposed to be. Do you even remember what that was like? And be prepared for one bed. So suck it up and try to remember what it was like to sleep with me before you got zapped by the green-eyed monster. As I recall, you were once rather fond of it. I know I was."
Myka snorted.
"It's not funny, Myka. I am being very serious. Even if you don't care right now, I love you more than the world and I would give my life for you. I love sleeping next to you and loath the times you are absent. I would like nothing better than to make love to you there. I do not want to lose my faith in Tenerife and what we discovered there. I don't know what has happened to Pete's 'freak', but I hate it and I know it troubles you as much as it does me. Claudia said it was there for a purpose. I believe her. I brought it with me and we are still connected somewhere. WE are part of the warehouse. WE are part of each other. Perhaps your time has come."
"What?"
"Did you not listen to Claudia? My part has been played out. My future is sealed. Your part is yet to come. She didn't know, yet, how you fit in. Never mind. That's our flight. Perhaps I'm just a silly old Victorian stuck in the wrong century. Let's get on the plane."
Helena stood up holding her hand out. Grudgingly, Myka took the offered hand as she would a stranger's.
Steve walked in at dinner, a smile on his face and a card in his hand. "Hey, guys! We got a postcard. Guess who's in Madrid?"
Pete turned around gawking at him. "A postcard?"
"Yeah. 'Taking a side trip across the channel. Thought we'd take a little tour.' Guess they decided to travel some more after all before Helena's surgery."
"Give me that." Pete yanked the card out of Steve's hand.
"Hey. It's just a postcard."
Pete handed it to Abigail. "Told you it was weird."
Claudia lifted her head at the sudden tension. "What's weird?"
"We got another one today. The postmark date is the same as the postcard from London."
"So, things get mixed up a little on international mail. I get things from Joshua out of order all the time."
"Still…" Pete shrugged. "Same date? I'm getting a weird vibe."
Claudia looked at Steve and nodded her head. "Well, good dinner. Thanks all. Come on, Steve. We have that 'thing' we forgot to do."
"Uh, yeah, sure. Bye guys." Steve stood abruptly taking their plates to put in the dish washer.
Abigail poked Pete in the shoulder. "What's up with them?"
"Huh? Oh, I don't know. It's a pseudo-twin thing. Why would they go to London?"
Chapter Text
"Yeah, another postcard!" Claudia pounced on the card in the middle of the table. "'Taking a little tour. The wine is great and the landscape is very pretty. Hope life is as good for you.'? Huh? What kind of stupid postcard is that? 'The landscape is very pretty'. Since when do those two say 'very pretty', unless they are making fun of Pete. No Wellsian word play or Mykaisms? What's up with that?" she complained throwing it back on the table.
Pete shook his head, his back to his friends. "That's what I've been trying to say, people! Those are the lamest postcards ever. Even I can do better than that."
Steve picked up his head. "Wait a minute. Why are they hopping around Spain? Why didn't they just go to Tenerife? I thought that's where they planned to go when her surgery got moved? Sort of a second, um...second whatever."
Pete shrugged. "HG is getting flexible in her old age?" He laughed out loud. "Like that'll ever happen. I crack myself up sometimes."
Steve looked back at Claudia, nodding when her eyes met his.
"Well, I guess it could be worse," Myka said, throwing her bag on the small bed.
"Yes, it certainly can. Believe me, it can be much worse. At least the bed is clean and there are no insects rushing around into the corners."
"The bed is a little small," she responded, eyeing it cautiously.
"Don't worry, Myka. I'll sleep on the floor. I've had more than my fair share of sleeping on floors. You don't even need to tell me this time. I'm volunteering." Helena dropped her own bag on the floor and kicked it into the corner.
"That's not what I meant," Myka huffed, sitting on the bed. "I was just thinking it's going to be a tight fit with someone who has become a bed hog at home."
"I am not a bed hog," Helena declared defensively and threw herself in the one chair in the small room.
"Then what would you call this?" Laughing, Myka pushed her bag off the bed and proceeded to spread out on the bed on her stomach, mocking one of the many positions she'd seen Helena in before crawling into bed herself.
"I'd call that a cruel tease in your present attitude towards me over the past few days," Helena commented in a low, empty voice and swallowed deeply before looking away from the bed. Not enjoying where her thoughts were leading her, she stood up abruptly. "I'm tired and hungry. There's a tapas bar around the corner. I'm going to go get something to eat and throw back a cortado or two. Hopefully it will chase some of this fatigue away. Would you like to come with me or am I still quarantined?"
Myka sat back up on the bed. "Helena," she said softly.
Helena closed her eyes against the woman on the bed and raised both hands up to stop the words. "Myka, please don't. I'm tired of this. You've treated me horribly and I really do not deserve such treatment. I've done my best to allow it because I understand how upsetting this has all been for you. Just a simple yes or no will do."
"Yes," she answered quietly, hesitantly dragging herself off the bed and shoving her hands in her back pockets.
"Then let's go." She dug out one of Michael's phones from her bag, and thrust it in her back pocket.
"So am I being introduced to that secret life of yours?" Myka asked.
Helena shook her head sadly, erupting into a harsh, cold laugh. "Not even close, Myka. Not even close. Let's hope it stays that way. I don't want you to ever experience that."
Myka followed her out the door and into the street wondering if she knew anything about the woman walking briskly in front of her.
Steve stared at the disturbance before them, surprised they had gotten this close. The cloud hung over the small section, electrical charges haphazardly flashing through the surrounding area.
"So, this is it, huh? Why is it you and me again? I know you explained it once already, and not that I'm arguing or anything, it's just, uh, intimidating."
"Kind of like the owner?" Claudia asked.
"That too. I prefer the mushy side she thinks we all don't know about."
"It's all that freaky, metaphysical crap. We're connected to her somehow so you and I are the only ones that can get this close. Got that crowbar?"
"Yeah. Right. So, the answer is in there?" Steve pointed into the depths of the section, his normally blank face showing great skepticism.
"So she says," Claudia squeaked. "But it looks like there are a lot more crates in there than that inventory list we pulled has. Hmm."
"How are we getting in?" he asked looking at the lock on the gate enclosing the area. "I thought only Helena had the code, not to mention she designed it."
"Pfff. Look who you're asking. I already overrode the security to the area and that lock?" She walked up to it looking at it closely. "Let's just say I had the best teacher and when you know her tricks, she's sometimes a little more obvious than she appears…" Claudia bit her bottom lip in concentration as she started fiddling with the knobs and pushing buttons until the gate opened. "Eureka! I knew it. Just a little research." Claudia looked over her shoulder at Steve winking. "Myka's birthday."
"What are we looking for? We didn't get any clues from the inventory list." He placed his hands on his hips, tilting his head to one side.
"I have no frakking clue," Claudia admitted, shaking her head. Without another word, she took her first step into the HG Wells section.
"Are we just going to sit here all day not talking to each other?"
"Considering the only conversation you seem to be able to have, Myka, is limited to snide comments regarding my morals and their recent impact on you, I prefer the silence and watching football." The phone in her pocket vibrated distracting her from the television screen in the corner. She swallowed the last of her third cortado knowing she'd regret it later and likely spend the night trying to run it off. "Feel free to go back to the hostel or the beach or anywhere else you want to go. Try to figure out how we are spending our so called vacation as a happy couple. I'm going for a walk. I'll try my best not to fall into anyone else's bed before coming back. I think I may just be able to manage that. Not that I'm very welcome in my own bed just now. The question is, do you trust me?" Standing up she dug into her front pocket pulling out a credit card. "Here. Take this. It's the one the Regents insisted I keep, 'just in case.' They'll be tracking us with it as well. The only person I know that could possibly crack and trace is Claudia and she's not our concern."
Walking out the door without another word, Helena pulled the phone out of her back pocket once down the street in the opposite direction of Myka's view.
"Yes?" she barked.
-Good. You got there, then?
"You already know the answer to that. You're not doing a very good job of hiding," she taunted him.
-Well, I didn't want you to think I wasn't here.
"Right. I'm hanging up now. I can already see you. We need to talk. Care for a drink?"
-Sounds lovely, my dear. I understand you have a certain fondness for Ron Miel.
Myka watched as Helena tossed the phone in the trash before going through the red door of the building two blocks down from the hostel.
She sat in the chair waiting for her in the corner, feet staunchly set on the ground to either side of her. She took the glass he slid over to her and downed it in one gulp, pushing it back for a refill, and leaned back heavily.
"A very distinct fondness." Michael filled the glass laughing. "Now I know what to get you for Christmas."
"I don't think Mrs. Frederic would approve, nor Myka for that matter. I thought you said you would be here tomorrow."
"Today, tomorrow. You know how it goes. They say one thing and do something else entirely. The truth is they sent me right from leaving your house. And you don't work for Mrs. Frederic anymore, remember?"
"Why you, Michael? Do you have any idea what my life has turned into since you arrived so early on my doorstep? I was barely dressed!"
"Ah, yes. Why me? A trusted friend and close associate, I assume, and I don't recall you've ever been concerned with your state of dress or undress, much to my pleasure, I admit. I did enjoy some of those dresses and undressings. I'd hoped you'd be a little happier in seeing me." His smile dropped. "As I said before, I was not forewarned of the, uh, your situation shall we say. I'd assumed, incorrectly, that the 'for two' part included me. How wrong I was. I thought I made a very good recovery. Do you not agree?"
Helena glared at him over her half empty glass as he topped it off. "I told you the last time I saw you, there was nothing more between us."
"So, Helena Wells finally got married. I didn't think you were the marrying type. Quite a burst to my ego, really."
"Oh, please, not you, too. I already have my hands full enough with a burst ego and a green-eyed monster as well." She quickly downed the glass, pushing it towards him for a refill.
"No need to worry about me. I can only assume she was what held you back during those more pleasurable times, how can I say this delicately? At the last minute?"
"I am sorry, Michael. She was always in the back of my mind. I fought it. God, how I fought it. At the time I didn't…"
He held up his hand stopping her. "Helena, there is no need to explain to me, despite the frustration you left me with. I'm very happy for you. She must be a very special person indeed to win your heart. She wears your ring." He nodded his head at her surprise. "You never gave me enough credit for observation. Of course I noticed. It would have to be a one in a million to get that ring off of your finger willingly. I assume that ring is from her?"
"It runs much deeper than that. Or so I thought." Helena's sad eyes fell to the old men sitting at the bar drinking coffee and around the rest of the small place at various tables playing an intense game of dominoes.
"I've caused some unrest. I'm sorry. If there is anything I can do…" He drew back her attention.
"I think you've done enough already. Now, what is going on? And why Tenerife?"
"The Regents thought you would enjoy it. It also provides a certain amount of isolation. You had been looking into coming here, were you not?"
"The Regents do not understand why we were planning on coming back here and not somewhere else. Now they may very well have ruined our paradise."
He looked up from the table, tracing an invisible path with is index finger on the worn surface. "Ah, so this would be where…" He smirked.
"Michael…" Helena warned.
He mock shivered. "Ohhh, there's that tone that has always scared me and turned me on at the same time." He smiled over the table when she sighed, filled both glasses, and leaned back in his chair. "Okay, this is what I know. Our old acquaintances have been following you for almost six weeks now. We are not exactly sure what they intend, but under the circumstances of our acquaintanceship with them, it can hardly be for a cup of tea and some biscuits. The Regents have been monitoring them, but there has been a significant increase in activity that they are concerned about, so they've decided to collect them. It was decided to bring you quickly to a safer location. An associate is watching the hostel. I have not noticed anything concerning as of yet, but that in itself can be concerning. You didn't exactly leave them with good memories. Losing fingers and such has a way of staying with someone."
Helena unconsciously glanced at her hand before finishing her drink again. "Yes, it certainly does."
"I'm sorry, Helena. That was thoughtless of me. I wasn't thinking. Please forgive me. I was informed of what happened. If I'd known I'd have been one of the first to join your friends." His eyes followed the direction of hers, now staring out the windows into the street, the sunlight quickly fading.
"They are my family," she murmured.
"That's good. You are very luck then. I have postcards for you to write. We will drop them sporadically as we need. They will want to know all is well. As far as that hand is concerned, we have you flying out in three days. I don't know where to and I don't know that we'll ever know, but you know they will give you the best."
"And Myka?" The sudden panic in her eyes shocked him.
"My, my, my. She really has stolen that heart of yours." He smiled broadly. "She'll be right there with you. Dr. Calder was very explicit about that. You are not my only charge, Helena. Myka is as much of a priority as you are. Have no fears about that."
"She IS your priority. I have your word on that?" Helena looked into his eyes with an intensity he'd never seen before.
"You have my word." He nodded slightly. Seeing her shoulders relax slightly, he smiled. "Now, tell me about this fierce maiden of yours. To keep you, she can only be equally formidable if not more."
"After you promise me to provide what you promised long ago if ever it was thought necessary."
Michael sighed deeply, his smile gone. "I gave my word. It will be ready for you."
She leaned her head against the door, careful to latch it quietly, the room slightly spinning. The bathroom light had been left on and its door ajar, allowing a soft light in the room. Helena slowly stripped off her clothes, dropping them at her feet. She felt grimy from the long journey and debated on a quick shower. Myka might hate her for it, and she'd probably regret it herself, but she just didn't have the energy.
Sitting in the edge of the bed she twisted around toward the back facing her. Myka hadn't moved a muscle since she entered the room, her breathing steady and even. Hesitantly, she reached her arm out, hand hovering over Myka's arm, before settling it above her elbow to trace a soft path to her wrist. Gaining more confidence, she brought her legs up on the bed and leaned over leaving a moist kiss on the bare shoulder.
"I know you're still awake, Myka. It doesn't take any bond to tell me that." Helena sighed into the dim light.
Myka still refused to move. "Don't touch me. Where have you been? With Michael?" Myka rolled over on her back to look up at Helena. "I saw you go into the bar, Helena. Not one of your more subtle moves. How exactly did you survive in these situations? Not like that you didn't. It's been over four hours. You could have at least told me. I'm part of this now too."
Helena threw herself back against the small headboard hitting her already aching head against the wall. "Shit." She cringed in pain, leaning her head on her upright knees. Releasing a deep breath, she leaned back again, more gently. "The less you know, the safer you'll be."
"The less I know. Like not knowing about Michael?" She sat up straight pushing her hair back to look straight into Helena's face. "What else don't I need to know, Helena?"
"Oh, for Christ's sake, Myka, would you just let it go already? Michael was a part of my past. A very small, short part of my past. You are my present and future and more a part of my past than Michael ever was. Why can you not understand that? Why are you making so much out of this?"
"So let me ask you again. What else don't I need to know? What else don't I know?"
Helena laughed bitterly. "Myka, you have relived more of my past with me in the last year with me than any one person ever has. More so even, for the entire time we've been together. Does that count for nothing? Are a few months of my life that you had absolutely no involvement in or commitment with me really that important to you? I need to keep you safe. That is what is important to me."
"I don't know who you are," Myka whispered.
"Yes, you do. You always have. Even when I didn't know myself."
"Then who are you? Who else is going to show up on my doorstep?"
"You said you trusted me to love you. Has it ever occurred to you that it has always been you that ultimately doesn't trust me?" She laughed harshly into the dim light of the room. "Funny how it always seems to involve Tenerife. One quasi-relationship from a past before you allowed me to share your life, the rest of our lives according to you, and now I'm the pariah out to jump in just anyone's bed when in fact I've never shared my mind and body completely with anyone but you. My former life no longer exists for me anymore in either century. My life began with you, Myka. You. I thought you knew me better than anyone. Maybe I was wrong."
Helena got up unsteadily and grabbed the clothes on the floor. "What do I have to do to prove myself to you? I thought I already had." Silent tears started to fall to the floor as she dressed, almost falling once getting into her shorts. "I know you can't feel me. I can't feel you either. It's an emptiness that grows like a tumor in my soul. You've always been there and now you're not." She stumbled to the door.
"Where are you going?" Myka demanded.
She leaned heavily against the door frame. "I don't know. Somewhere other than where I'm not wanted, because you, Myka, do not want me in our bed. All because of something that had nothing to do with you and absolutely everything because of you. You'll be safe. Someone is watching."
Myka jumped out of bed throwing the door open to an empty hallway and sank to the floor in tears leaning against the door as it shut closed from her weight.
She pounded on the door once more before looking up into the barrel of a gun. "Really, Michael, I am much too drunk for that game. Only one person is allowed to hold a gun to my head and you are not her." Helena pushed his arm aside as she weaved into the room.
"And you?" he asked shutting the door, turning to her in the middle of the room.
"Right here." She held the gun in the air loosely before placing it on the table. "Times have changed."
"Why are you here? Ahhh, I think I understand." He placed his weapon beside hers on the table.
"Myka would say that is a poor choice of location for a sidearm, by the way. It seems I am not wanted. May I stay here tonight?" She slurred her word slightly.
"Do you think that wise under the circumstances that appear to have brought you seeking refuge from the enemy?"
"Where else shall I go? Wander the streets aimlessly until I collapse in a corner somewhere?"
"At least I know you're safe here. Come on. And yes, I remember, the RIGHT side."
She fell into the bed on her back next to him with a heavy sigh and tried to close her eyes against the spinning room. "Do tell me you still do not snore."
"Not that I've been told, but I can't say as I've been in a position to be told since." He reached to shut the light off, but found a hand grab his arm in a death grip.
"Please. Leave it on."
She swallowed loudly as he looked into wide-open, panicking eyes. No questions asked, he rolled onto his back. She tossed herself around a few times unable to get comfortable. "Bloody hell!" She stood up uneasily and stripped her clothes off.
"Still can't sleep in a bed in clothes?" He laughed heartily.
"I've had no reason to and every reason not to." She rolled onto her side with her back to him.
"She's a lucky lady."
"I always thought I was the lucky one." Overcome with the events of the past few days, fatigue and too much alcohol, she burst into tears.
Michael rolled onto his side and collected her in his arms. "Now this is something new. You're definitely married. You've gone soft on me, Helena, and your damned feet are still cold."
"I haven't gone soft," she said through her tears. "I was tamed."
"Claudia, what just happened?" Steve looked up at the dissipating cloud.
Claudia looked around her, turning around in a full circle. "Um, I don't know?"
"What do you mean you don't know?" He dropped the crowbar in his hand, the repercussions of the echo in the silence bouncing around them.
"I don't know! Something happened somewhere, and I don't think it is necessarily a good thing. It's not us."
They were surrounded by the tops of crates they had opened and rummaged through, finding no clues to the events around them.
"Uh, Steve, do you think you could leave me alone here?"
"Are you sure? What if it all comes back?"
"I don't think it's going to…yet."
"What's that supposed to mean?" he almost screeched.
"That's what I need to figure out."
Steve shrugged. "Okay. Keep your Farnsworth close, though." He pointed his finger at her.
"Yeah. Whatever." She sat in the middle of the floor waving him away.
"Fine. I'm leaving, but if you are not back up there in an hour, I'm coming back!" He stomped off in frustration.
Claudia sat cross-legged on the floor listening to the silence. "I'm listening! Why aren't you talking?" she shouted to the top of the rafters beyond her view.
"Maybe you are not asking the right questions."
"I thought you said the answer was in here?" She turned towards the caretaker.
"I don't know that it is. It seemed like the best place to start. I think there may be a clue, though. You already know the first part."
"Yeah, Mrs. F.? What is that?"
"When did you first think something was wrong?"
"Uh, when we started to have this huge electrical storm under the roof?" Claudia spread her arms out and stared at the ceiling.
"No, you knew before that. How did you know?"
"I felt it."
"Felt what, Claudia? You can tell me. I'll believe you. I may be a little more familiar with it than you think."
"Their bond. Their connection to the warehouse." She leaned back on her arms, crinkling her face at the woman, concentrating.
"Yes. It's been there long before you were born."
"You knew?" She sat up straight, now.
"Ever since I've been caretaker, Claudia. The same way you do. You were right when you said that the three of you have a unique 'bond' as you call it. But the two of them? It's been there forever it seems. I could always feel, something strong, searching even whenever I was near her in the bronze room. It merely wasn't time for me to know what."
"All this time you knew? Why didn't you say anything? Why did you fight so hard against HG?"
"The same reason you didn't say anything. You couldn't. I had to protect the warehouse and HG was a threat. They had to do it on their own. Myka had to see the truth to bring her back, and Helena had to find her own way to Myka. The warehouse was testing her and so was I. That was the only way Helena would believe in herself. It was Myka."
"I don't get it. What's going on with it? What's wrong? How do we fix it?" She wrapped her arms around her legs, and placed her chin on her knees.
"You said it had to fix it on its own. They had to fix it."
"They fixed it?" She spun around to look at the center of the dismantled crates again.
"Oh, no. They did what you said they had to do. They broke the ties. The bond is broken. They have to go through the pain, Claudia. You said it yourself."
"What pain? Why? Will they make it back?" Claudia asked sadly.
"You already know the answer to that, Claudia. Keep looking in there. You'll need it."
Claudia turned around. "Yeah, but…Damn it! Arrrgh. Now I know why Artie gets so annoyed!" she yelled to the ceiling. "Why do I think it's going to get worse before it gets better?" she asked herself. "And why aren't you talking to me? Ouch!" She got hit with a discharge from one of the crates. "Great. That's not exactly what I meant. Crap. Now I don't know which crate it was."
Chapter Text
"I don't know, Artie. It just happened," Claudia snapped back.
"I thought you said it was fixed?"
He leaned over the railing rubbing his forehead.
"No, I didn't. What I said was it stopped and I don't know why and Mrs. F. isn't being very helpful with the whole guide the intern and let her figure it out routine." Claudia stared at the growing cloud, more ominous than before. "I'm just going to have to go back in."
Pete looked at her doubtfully when his phone rang. "Um, are you sure?"
"No, I'm not sure and come on, Pete, will you grow up and change that ring tone already."
Artie smiled behind the hand rubbing his face.
"Hey, it saved my life once!"
"Sort of, and Myka's been running interference between you two ever since. One of these days she's just going to let HG knock you down." Claudia pointed out.
He made a face at her answering his phone. "Mykes?" He pointed at his phone rapidly for everyone else's benefit before walking into the office. "Hey, it's like midnight. Where are you guys? You keep sending all these really lame postcards."
"Well, yeah, I'm kind of up. Warehouse stuff, ya know? If you really cared you wouldn't be calling. So what's up?"
"Nothing you need to worry about. What's going on? Why are you calling me at midnight? You okay? Okay, okay...that was a stupid question. Please don't cry. Oh, geez...I hate when you cry on the phone…"
"You what?! When? Oh, Mykes that is so not cool. That is like girlfriend mistake number one. Even I know that. What were you thinking?"
"Mykes, listen to me. She has every right to be upset with you and you have no right to hold that against her. You didn't even know you were attracted to her, well okay, maybe you did, but it's not like you 'knew' or did anything about it. We all had to pull your head out of the sand. She should have been doing the horizontal hokey pokey with anyone she wanted to. After a century I would have. You know kind of lubricating the old kinks…and you've got to admit…"
"Okay," he pulled the phone away from his ear until she stopped screaming obscenities at him, "maybe not the best example…"
"Wait a minute…she never…ever? What?! You? Seriously?" He fumbled with his phone trying not to drop it. "Until you. Ahem. You're joking, right? No! Of course not. Well, you know." He scratched his head. "Come on, Mykes, you know I hate it when you drag me into your sex life. Okay, well, maybe I don't hate it that much, but really? You? Okay, okay. I'm sorry. You. Huh. If she never, ever, you know…then what's the big deal? That's pretty impressive and hey, you're worth waiting for…not that I ever, huh…never mind."
"Are you even listening to yourself? I'm sorry, Myka, but I'm with HG on this one. You're kind of being a big jerk and I think you need to pull your head out of your…Myka? Myka?"
He stared at his phone and then out at the two arguing on the deck overlooking the warehouse. Scratching his head, he walked out on the deck. "Claudia, did you know they were fighting?"
"Huh?" She looked at him over her shoulder.
"Myka just hung up on me. They're fighting and she didn't really like my pep talk."
"They're always fighting," Artie mumbled, waved him off with his hand.
"Yeah, that's why it's so awkward when they make up." Claudia tried to brush it off.
"No, they don't. Always fight that is. They sort of banter. The makeup part, yeah, that's awkward. What I mean by fighting is like, not good fighting, and she wouldn't tell me where they were and it's like midnight here. Does that," he pointed to the cloud, "have anything to do with that?" He pointed to his phone. "Because I think it does."
Artie joined Pete's interest in Claudia.
Claudia looked from one to the other, smiling crookedly. "Maybe?" She shrugged.
"Claudia…" Artie started.
"Get up," Michael demanded, throwing the grungy clothes at her prone body spread across the bed. She twisted around sitting straight up with a jerk, disoriented, when her aching head became a target for the towel that followed.
"There. You'll find what you need in the bathroom. You need a shower and you definitely need a new change of clothes. When was the last time you had a shower?"
She flopped back down on the bed with a groan, rubbing her temples. "Whatever God awful day I left for this island. I'm not that bad, am I?"
"That was almost three days ago. What do you think? I have seen you worse, but that's not saying much, is it? Now get in the shower and clean up. Does your wife know where you are?"
"I really have no idea. And she's not my wife," she snapped back.
"Testy, testy. Alright then, whatever she is to you, you are not facing her smelling like a drunken sewer rat, and face her soon you shall. Drink this." He handed her a glass of water. "How much more did you drink before showing up at my door? Never mind. I know your capacity. Gunter will feed you what you wish. He makes an excellent tortilla." Helena gave him a quizzical look. "He has done a very good job in keeping me unnoticed. Something I'll now need to alter, thanks to you. You always were a pain in my ass. Please, pull up that sheet while you drink that."
Helena looked down at herself, doing as he requested. "It never seemed to bother you before." An impish grin spread across her face as she sipped the water slowly, struggling to keep it down.
"Why would it? You teased me enough in the past. In part, I think it is your nature. However, I've met what you truly struggled with and I'm trying to keep you from losing her. Now get in the shower. Your present state is rather repulsive and I'm sure you'll agree when you see yourself in the mirror."
Helena got up off the bed. Wrapped in the sheet she grabbed her clothes. Her face screwed up in disgust. "Yes, a change of clothing is in order."
"There have been some new developments I need to look into. I will gather some clean clothes for you."
"Don't expect a warm welcome," Helena tossed over her shoulder, dragging the sheet behind her walking into the bathroom.
A foot stopped the door from shutting. "I don't. I don't know what is going on between the two of you, but I suspect both parties are at fault. Don't screw this one up. It's good to find your soulmate, someone to love and be equally loved by. You are worthy of it."
Helena stared at the tiled floor, refusing to look at the reminder of her past.
"Tell me, Helena, when did you start to carry a gun? I was never able to convince you before, so why now?"
She looked directly into the hazel eyes above boring straight through her. "I'll do anything to protect Myka. I don't need full use of my left hand to be a straight shot."
"Anything?"
"Yes."
"Good, because I don't think you're going to be very happy with what that may entail." He pulled his foot out and left her staring at the room's door.
Michael heard the distinct sound of the safety being released from the service revolver when he looked down at the gun pointing at him.
"What are you doing here?" her cold voice asked.
"You're an early riser. Good." Michael held a hand up with the key hanging from his middle finger as a form of supplication. "I believe it is not MY head you wish to be pointing that at, but rather that of a certain arrogant, stubborn, cocky, pain in the ass we both know that is presently showering in my small abode. She is in desperate need of a change of clothes, though. If you would be so kind," he pulled a plastic grocery bag out of his pocket, "I'd be very grateful if you could provide me with that change of clothing."
"She spent the night with you." Myka dropped the arm holding the weapon down and yanked the key from his finger.
"Not exactly how I would describe it, but yes, she spent the night at my place. I procured the key from her pocket before throwing her clothes at her."
"You threw her clothes at her. So, she wasn't wearing them?" Myka's eyebrows rose at this news.
"Ah, yes, well it would seem this is not going quite as well as I'd hoped." Michael took one step back towards the door.
"Oh, just sit down." Myka, exasperated, gestured to the chair with her gun before putting it away. "I know nothing happened." She laughed harshly. "You aren't any better at this than she is. She always talks herself into a corner with me. Anyone else and she'd have them in the corner, most likely gagged, by now." Myka leaned against the wall, crossing her arms, looking out the cloudy window into the quiet street.
"Not that I'm the best judge of things of this nature, but I'd say the difference lies in the fact that she loves you." He casually leaned back in the chair crossing his legs.
"You are not the best choice of allies for her, right now." She glanced at him before looking out the window again.
"I'm not really an ally. I'm here to get her some clothes so we can all have a little chat, elsewhere."
"Why didn't you just knock on the door?" She backed away from the window.
"Honestly, it never really occurred to me. Professional habits? I didn't think you'd be here or you'd still be asleep, I suppose."
Myka shook her head in disbelief at the ridiculousness of the statement and laughed outright. "Oh, what a pair the two of you must have been. Perfect match made in heaven."
"Not at all. I was never her equal and she was always fighting an internal battle. A battle centered around you, apparently. Don't look so surprised. I knew she could never be completely invested in me. Despite all of my efforts and charm she never would, well, never mind that." He sighed. He had bigger fish to fry than a jealous wife. "She was fighting you. She was never able to let go of you long enough to commit to anything other than a distorted association with me. You have no reason to be jealous. She was yours long before even she knew it. I suspect that only you know the real Helena."
He placed both hands quickly on his knees and stood up. "Now, as much as I am enjoying this little chat, I am not a marriage counselor and there have been some developments that we need to discuss."
"Does it have anything to do with the white car that's been parked on the corner since she left last night? Now it's your turn to not look so surprised." Myka leaned down to grab Helena's bag from the corner it was kicked into the day before and threw it over to him. "You'll probably want this. I don't think we'll be coming back here, will we?"
Catching the small bag with a surprised "oomph", he smiled, handing her a small paper and a card key. "Meet us here in the next hour. It's your new room. Leave those keys on the table." He watched Myka try to process the information thrown at her. "I'm sorry for the circumstances in which we've met. I actually like you very much, Myka. Whatever was broken between the two of you, it must be made right. She's a very lucky lady."
"I always thought I was the lucky one," Myka said, sadly glancing out the window again.
"Now I know it was always you." He nodded, heading towards the door.
Myka turned away from the window, looking at him confused. "What?"
"She said the very same thing last night before breaking down in tears. I've never seen her cry before, nor have I ever seen her carry a gun." He started to open the door.
"Wait. What did you say? She hates guns."
He paused with his hand on the door knob. "Yet she carries one to protect you, not a Tesla. 'Times have changed' were her words. Why do you think?"
"You love her, don't you?" Myka blurted out at the realization.
"No more than an hour. Don't be late." He shut the door behind him.
Helena quickly turned her head toward the door just before Myka inserted the card key and opened the door. Myka's eyes flashed a cold look before softening at the tired, sad eyes pleading to her from across the room. Like the day before, she dropped her bag on the bed.
"So, this isn't half bad. A little more public than I expected. Nice scenery," Myka commented, glancing out the window.
"The whole point right now is not to look like you know they are there. Didn't they teach you that in the Secret Service?" Michael sat at the table set with breakfast. "I wasn't sure if you'd eaten yet and Helena needs to put some more in that stomach of hers. I'm not sure how much she held down this morning. Thankfully, I wasn't there for that."
Myka sat at the table and poured herself some coffee, smirking. "You should be thankful. She performs an impressive show. Especially when she has the flu."
Helena pulled the chair out next to Myka hesitantly, waiting for protest. "And look what that got you?" Helena added, sitting.
"I'd put that ego aside for now if I were you." Myka made a show of biting into a pastry in front of her.
"Ladies, if you could, we have serious issues here besides your marriage…"
"We aren't married!" They spoke simultaneously, pinning him down with their eyes, then glancing at each other in surprise.
"What is it with you two? You're both wearing rings and…"
"Michael, let it go. Now that Myka is here, will you just tell us what's changed?" Helena tentatively took Myka's hand under the table and gave it a slight squeeze. It was a surprise to her that it wasn't pulled away but returned a squeeze of its own.
Myka pushed her coffee over to Helena unconsciously as Helena drank half of it first and pushed it back. "Nice to know some things haven't changed," Myka mumbled.
"Uh, take it easy with the coffee, Helena." Michael gave her an odd look. "When did you start drinking coffee, anyway?"
Helena rubbed her pounding head. "Michael, please just tell us what's going on?"
"This is how it's going to be and no arguments. Helena, your last meal may be lunch tomorrow. You are flying out for that surgery. Privately. I'll have what you requested."
"What a lovely forced vacation this is turning out to be. Where is this much anticipated event going to occur?"
"I don't know. Like you, I'll know when we get there." Michael trailed off looking out the window over the table.
"Wait a minute, Michael. I know that face. What are you not telling me?" Helena's eyes narrowed when he refused to look at her.
"Sounds like a familiar question," Myka commented.
"Not now, Myka," Helena snapped, pulling her hand away. "Michael?" she demanded.
"Myka is being taken to the warehouse. It's the safest place for her." Michael jumped up to look out the window into the plaza before turning around to face the two women.
"What?!" Helena exclaimed.
"You are not the immediate target. Myka is. They are watching Myka. They are targeting what will hurt you the most and that is Myka. We confirmed it last night when you showed up on my doorstep. They placed someone at the hostel and he didn't follow you, Helena. They've been watching Myka. We weren't sure until last night."
"And you didn't tell us this? You knew all of this before you even knocked on our door in Atlanta? You are an ass, Michael. A self-righteous, arrogant, ass," Helena hissed at him.
"Please be civil. I was filled in before I landed here. You've been out of this game too long, Helena. You know you have to sit back and wait sometimes. You want Myka to be my priority? I'm doing just that. You are just as important to me. You need that surgery and that's your safe place. You'll be well protected."
"But Myka is coming with me first, right?"
"No."
"Yes, she is."
"Um, excuse me…" Myka tried to interrupt.
"No, Helena. I'm sorry. She needs to be pulled out. We can grab the little boy out in the plaza watching you right now, but that isn't going to get us to the source. We both know, neither of you are safe until we get to the source. If you want her to be my priority, than this is what is going to happen. She goes to the warehouse and you get surgery."
"Excuse me! Don't I have a say in any of this?" Myka finally shouted.
Helena looked over at Myka before turning to look at the hazel eyes watching her knowingly, eyebrows barely raised. She closed her eyes and swallowed, nodding her head slightly.
"Unfortunately, Myka, none at all." Michael shrugged his shoulders.
"This is exactly why we wanted out of the warehouse," Myka shot back. She rubbed her head. "Rebecca was right."
"You can leave the warehouse, but the warehouse never leaves you." Michael gave a halfhearted smile at Helena's blank face.
"Then what the hell are we doing here?" Myka asked. "I don't get it."
"Actually, it was intended as the vacation you were planning. We'd clear it all up and you'd go home. When asked, Mrs. Frederic said this would probably be your first choice. She laughed a lot over it for some reason. Something about honey rum and airplanes? Must be a good story there somewhere."
"Mrs. Frederic laughs?" Myka asked in disbelief.
"Actually, quite often I understand when Helena's name is brought up."
"This is so wrong. We can't do this right now," Myka complained.
"You don't have a choice. You know that, Myka. You have tonight and then you go your separate ways. If you go out, stay public. I'll be close. If I were you, I'd spend my time here with room service. But, I was never you." Michael smiled sadly in Helena's direction. He looked at his watch. "You have 18 hours. I recommend you make the most of it. Helena will meet you at the warehouse as soon as we can get her there. She needs that surgery."
The two women looked at each other before unconsciously being drawn to the hand at Helena's side.
"I'll be picking you up at 5 am."
Michael got up and walked to the door, closing it quietly behind him.
Chapter Text
Myka was pacing back and forth across the room, occasionally stopping to look at Helena tipping back in her chair staring at the ceiling, shook her head and continued pacing.
Helena dropped her chair heavily back on the floor. "Myka, stop. Just…stop."
Myka stopped dead in the middle of the room. Helena sat emotionless in the chair, face drawn and haggard from the long days before and an apparently very drunken evening.
"Stop? You want me to stop? Someone wants me, just to get back at you, for something you did before…" she trailed off weakly.
"Before what?" she asked quietly. Not getting an answer, she got up to stand before the taller woman, placing her hands on both hips and looking into the frustration boring into her. "Myka, before what?" she asked more softly.
"Before…before I had to go and fall in love with Dangerous Dolly!"
Helena burst out laughing. "Dangerous Dolly? I think I just might prefer Mount Helena a tad bit more. At least it gives credence to the dramatic eruptions you have provided, both in and out of bed." She continued laughing at Myka's continued frustration mixed with embarrassment. "Besides, you were already in love with me and you know it. That's one of the reasons Michael has been such a problem for you. You've never had to face the thought of another romantic interest in this new life of mine. Not that I would call Michael a true candidate, but close enough to upset you."
She took Myka's hand and pulled her towards the bed, throwing the bag to the floor.
"Come on. Up you go." Meeting resistance she tugged the hand harder, dragging Myka onto the bed. "Sometimes you are worse than a five year-old, and I should know. I had one. A very defiant one she was at times, too. Not quite unlike her mother."
She lay on her side facing Myka's stiff figure flat on her back. She reached out for the set jaw and turned Myka's face towards her. "Are we going to talk about this or are you going to continue to act like that petulant five year-old?" she asked softly. "And do remember, I have been keeping up with my kenpo."
"Talk about what?" Myka asked rolling on her side, still not looking at her.
"The big elephant that just left us alone in a very nice room and not so subtly implied we should spend the next 18 hours saying goodbye in the most intimate and physical ways possible, which I must admit, I find highly alluring. However, I am not willing to let this go on any longer. Please look at me."
Reluctantly, Myka's eyes came up to look into the dark brooding ones. "You look like crap," Myka said.
Helena smiled. "So do you. May I?" She asked reaching her hand out, brushing a finger along Myka's jaw, receiving no objection.
"He said I was being a big jerk," Myka burst out.
"What?" Helena physically backed up in surprise. "Michael?"
"No. Pete." Myka flopped back on her back with a heavy sigh, flinging her arm over her eyes, rambling on. "He said I was being a big jerk and I broke girlfriend rule number 101 or something and I was making a big deal out of nothing and he said…" Myka found herself being softly kissed as the bed shifted beneath her. With little encouragement it became more intense. She opened her eyes to find a smiling Helena looking down at her.
"I've always found that the most gratifying and effective ways of getting you to stop talking. As much as it pains me to say this, I agree with Pete." Helena placed her index finger against Myka's lips when she tried to start talking again. "Shh. This is my turn. You'll get your chance. It's time for us both to be grown ups, but the elephant was right about one thing. I do need food, definitely more aspirin and a lot more water. So stay right there."
Helena pointed a finger at Myka stopping her from trying to sit up when she got off the bed. She rummaged through Myka's bag until she found the aspirin, tossed multiple bottles of water on the bed for Myka to catch and made up a plate of food, shoving half of it in her mouth before she got to the bed. She tossed the aspirin in the back of her throat and guzzled a bottle of water down before sitting on the bed in front of Myka.
"Are you going to keep that all down?" Myka questioned.
"God, I hope so." She passed the plate to Myka and looked at the clock. "Have some fruit while I talk. I'm tired and running out of steam and I really do not want to waste the next 17 hours."
"Helena, you have to stop running out like you did last night."
"I said this was my turn, please. You're right, and I'm sorry for ending up at Michael's, but it was the safest place I could think of and nothing happened. However, you have made it very clear you have not wanted to share our bed with me for quite some time. And, yes, I was drunk and obtuse and overreacting as well. Neither of us has been fair or even barely civil with the other. I am sorry. I tried to be patient and understanding, but it's ever so difficult when one feels she is being condemned for something she didn't do ."
"Helena…"
"Hush. This is what I need to say. I do believe you fell in love with me long before I left. You were hurt when I didn't come back. Michael was a part of that time period and I can understand that you may have felt betrayed and even cheated on. I shared a part of my life with someone other than you. Nearly my whole existence in this century you have been involved in, in some way or another, and obviously, not always under the best of circumstances. When Michael showed up…Well, let's just say I'm very thankful everyone else from my past is from another century and quite dead or we'd have more than a few disgruntled lovers pounding on our door. You truly are my list of firsts, Myka. Well, you weren't my first kiss, but you were the first kiss that ever made me feel alive and worthy, and truly loved."
Myka cocked her head. "You do realize you're diverting."
"Hush. You do that to me. The diverting part. Anyway, maybe I should have told you about him, but it was such a short period of time. I struggled and fought to forget you and move on in this century. I wasn't sure I'd ever see you again and was too scared to try. I realized that last night when I stumbled through his door. I was so uncertain of myself and had been too scared of losing something I never even gave a chance at having. How I ever found my way back to you I don't know. You were always there. Always. Even according to Claudia. Michael is the one that got caught in the cross fire. "
"But, Claudia..." Helena held up her finger at Myka again, finished off the plate of food and downed another bottle of water. "I really hope you can keep that down."
"Hmm…me too. Now, this brings me to the other issue. The asinine bond. No, I can't feel you, Myka. You can't feel me. I don't know why. We've never experienced each other without it. It's always been there. It hurts, it's scary and I feel empty. It's making us doubt each other. But do you want to know what else I've realized over these days of us not talking? Yes, it's been days. I've had a great deal of time to think…You know I don't sleep well alone…I don't need Pete's inane 'freak' to know that I love you. We are being separated, once again, and I'm not going to be able to feel you with me, but I know I still love you. I love you, Myka. I love you. Not Michael. I love you. I always have and I always will. After all that we have been through and have yet to endure, I love you. You are my priority, Myka. I love you. I trust you to love me. Do you trust me to love you?"
Helena wiped the tears from her face, unsure of when they even started, when she felt strong arms reach around her and pull her down. Solid, sure, even strokes rubbed her back.
"He still loves you."
Helena pulled her head back in order to focus on Myka's face. "What?"
Myka pulled Helena's head back on her shoulder, kissing its top, and laughed. "For all your brilliance you can be really dumb. Why do you think he came to Atlanta? He stumbled over himself and made a decent recovery, but he was not expecting me to answer the door, nor was he anticipating my place in your life. He really did come to our door expecting to meet you somewhere, not us. That's probably one of the reasons I overreacted. And the look of shock and panic on your face? You can't hide that from me. You never have. Despite everything you've told me of your life, it was a life that existed before I was born. It's always been this abstract thing. You're right. To suddenly have an actual, live, former love interest show up was a little bit of a shock. I never thought about it, but you're right. I've been a part of almost your entire life in this century. I never thought of you outside of that existence. In my head you've always just been mine. It was a big kick in the stomach to realize I wasn't. Pete is so right. I am the biggest, fat, jerk girlfriend around."
"Not completely. I've not been the epitome of relationship material myself. Would it really have made that big of a difference if I'd told you about him? You've told me little of your previous relationships, and I've never asked."
"I don't know. We'll never know. There aren't more lurking around out there, are there?"
"Not that it should matter, but no. I have to admit, though, that it would probably upset me to have one of your old flames show up on our doorstep out of the blue. Pete told me about most of them anyway. He never thought any of them were good enough for you."
"I'm going to kill him." Myka felt Helena chuckle against her. "Helena, why are you carrying a gun? I know you have a Tesla hidden somewhere."
Myka felt the warm body tense against her. Helena lifted herself up on her arm, caressing Myka's face. "I won't take chances with your life. I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe. I've lost too many in my life to lose you as well. I couldn't save Christina, but if need be I would kill for you." She traced Myka's lips with her fingers, chasing them away with a soft kiss before resuming her previous position. They lay in the cold silence that followed until Helena could stand it no longer. "Do tell me what else I am agreeing with Pete on." Helena groaned rolling onto her back.
Myka rolled with her. Leaning over her, partially raised on her elbow, she brushed away the misplaced hair out of Helena's face and continuing to stroke it.
"Uh, let's see." Myka looked away concentrating in thought before looking back down at the tired face beneath her. "He said I had no right to judge you and you had every right to be upset with me. Ummm…I didn't even know I was in love with you or at least I didn't do anything about it. Oh yeah. Here's the really good part; 'She should have been doing the horizontal hokey pokey with anyone she wanted to. After a century I would have. You know kind of lubricating the old kinks' and then I think I sort of hung up on him."
"Really? 'Lubricating the old kinks?' How crass. I do love Pete, though," Helena said yawning.
"I know you love Pete. Have any old kinks that need lubricating?"
"Stop rubbing my head, you're making me sleepy. I think you've done a fair job of lubricating any 'old' kinks I may have had already and then some. I'd be more concerned about the new ones." She yawned again attempting to pull off Myka's top. Failing, she watched as Myka got up to undress and crawled back to help her strip her clothes off before climbing under the covers. She curled into Myka's side, yawning again as Myka started to rub her head. "I told you not to rub my head. You know it makes me fall asleep. What about my kinks?"
"I already know your kinks and I think you're proving you're not 36 and can't keep running like the energizer bunny after a night of drinking."
"Oh, do be quiet and let me sleep." She squirmed her head against Myka's neck.
"Helena?"
"Hmm?"
"I do trust you to love me."
"I know."
Helena woke up with a start, panting in terror, hair plastered to her forehead. She turned on the bedside lamp, illuminating the new surroundings. Myka was nowhere to be seen. The drapes were drawn, but the bathroom light was on, the door half closed allowing that constant sliver of light into the darkness that always seemed to invade her consciousness. She jumped out of bed to open the door to an empty bathroom, a damp towel hanging from a hook. She grabbed one of the new phones Michael had left behind on the table.
"Where is she?" Helena demanded.
"Hello to you, too. Everything is fine and under control. She's doing a little shopping."
"Shopping? Are you serious?" Helena ran her hand through her damp hair.
"Yes, my dear. I don't think you'll complain. I'd say she was shopping for you."
"What?"
"Everything is fine. Go take a shower. You'll feel better. I expect she will be back shortly. I've got her, Helena. Now take the shower and order room service. I recommend champagne. Would you like me to order for you?"
"You really are an ass." Helena hung up on him and threw the phone into the chair on her way to the shower.
Myka opened the door to the room to find Helena perched up in the window dressed in a white robe, water droplets beading at the ends of her hair getting sucked into the back of the robe. She was gazing into the plaza below, now turning a golden hue with the falling sun. Tourists darted around a group of children kicking a soccer ball around with no apparent rules.
"Have a good nap?" Myka set the few items in her hands down before walking into the bathroom and grabbed a towel, leaving the light on. "Helena?" She walked up behind Helena at the window, placed the towel over the wet head gently rubbing the excess moisture out. She dropped the towel and leaned her chin on the slender shoulder to watch the activity below. "You really need to dry your head. Are you okay?" she asked softly.
"Hmm? Yes." Helena answered distracted, leaning back into Myka's warmth. "I wish you'd left me a note. I was worried when I woke up and discovered you'd left."
"I'd hoped to get back before you woke up. I'm sorry. I should have left you a note. I called Michael first and he agreed to the trip. He's very good." She pushed Helena forward slightly, gaining free access to the side of her neck placing a row of kisses up to her ear.
"Mmmm. Yes, he is." Helena breathed sharply, tilting her head further for Myka. "I watched you cross the plaza. Only I would have known he was around because I know how he operates. Our adversary is sloppy. Why have they not finished this?"
"Right now, I don't really care," Myka whispered. Helena tried to lean back against Myka forgetting her precarious seat. She lost her balance falling back into Myka knocking her down on the floor and landing heavily on top of her former backrest. Myka grunted pushing her off to the side as she tried to sit up. "So much for that moment. I'd think with all that kenpo of yours you'd be a little more graceful."
Helena laughed laying flat on her back with Myka holding herself above her. "Indeed. Yet someone has a very good way of distracting me and I can become a bit unbalanced at times. You wouldn't happen to know who that may be, would you?" she asked, wrapping her arms around Myka's neck and pulling her down, kissing her deeply. "Mmmm. I think I found her," she whispered, going back for seconds.
They both startled at the knock on the door. "Expecting someone?" Myka asked in all seriousness.
"The bad guys don't usually knock." Helena crawled out from underneath Myka to answer the door. "I ordered up food and drink when I saw you crossing the plaza per an elephant's suggestion. I have no intention of leaving the four walls of this room, especially now, and I am trying my best to ignore the ticking clock."
"You know, sometimes you talk too much." Myka picked herself up off the floor, grabbing Helena from behind before she got to the door turning her around for a last kiss. "You're right. That is an effective way to shut someone up." She left Helena standing recovering while she signed for the food.
Myka finished with the food and turned her head back to find Helena leaning against the wall, her robe partially undone, and smirked.
"What's the matter, cat got your tongue?"
Myka stared in awe, then whispered into the room, "Did I meow?"
Helena pushed herself off the wall and stalked towards Myka, dropping her robe half way across the room. Never missing a step, she guided Myka backwards to the bed where she fell into the mass of coverings bunched up from their earlier nap.
"That depends. Are you the cat and do you remember how to scream?" Helena asked tugging on the bottom of Myka's shirt.
"I think I'm about to find out."
"Do you plan on sitting there all day or are you going to go back in?"
"Hey, Mrs. F." Claudia gave a halfhearted wave to the voice behind her. "I can't get in anymore. Well, I get zapped and that's not all it's cracked up to be. I'm just thinking. I know there is more in there than what's inventoried."
"Much of HG's personal effects were placed in there for storage, as were Myka's when they moved. She didn't want it, so the Regents decided to keep it for her. I doubt she even knows it's there. Nor Myka."
"I just don't get it? It's so erratic. I know something is going on with them, but they aren't talking."
"It seems to me you've left them out of it, haven't you?"
"It's not their problem anymore. They left." Claudia placed her chin on her knees tracing a crack on the floor with her middle finger.
"You told them they needed to leave. They didn't leave you, Claudia. They needed to leave the safety of these walls to discover their own path. You are right about one thing. Some things need to fix themselves. 'Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof.' Khalil Gibran. You need to read more, Claudia. One never truly leaves the warehouse. You'll have help soon."
"Huh?" Claudia spun around on her butt. "Why do I bother? I know she's not going to be there."
Chapter Text
Claudia dragged herself into the living room bending over the back of the sofa to fall into a heap next to Steve.
"That was graceful. What's up?" He hit the pause button.
"Artie's been following me like a mother hen. I can't take it anymore. Please just shoot me."
"Can't. You have a problem to fix, Oh Great Warehouse Weather Wizard."
"Ha, ha. What episode are you watching?" she asked, recognizing the blue police box.
"'Blink'. I can start it over. Sally just ducked." Steve looked down at the heap next to him, legs hanging over the end of the side with her head on his lap. Her forehead scrunched up in thought. "Hey, what's wrong?"
"Isn't that one of HG's favorites, in a weird backwards way? I think the weeping angels were the only thing that really kind of freaked her out. When did we last get anything from them anyway?"
"I don't know. It's not like they're consistent. Didn't Pete get a call from Myka?"
"Yeah. That really helped my case with Artie. Pete didn't really say much except they were fighting. Like that's never happened before."
"Hmmm." Steve nodded. "So, am I starting this over or what?"
"No. I'm beat." She dragged herself up off the sofa. "I need to make some calls. How are Pete's plans coming along for Christmas?"
"Assuming there are no curiosities," he smiled, "and the guests of honor show up, all good to go. Joshua still coming?"
"I think so. Guess those guest houses weren't such a bad idea after all. We're going to need them for Pete's party. If only we could fill the remodeled one again."
"Let it go, Claud. It was their decision. Things happen for a reason." He hit the play button.
"Whatever." She stomped up the stairs pulling out her phone.
"Hey, Claud?" he called from the sofa.
"Yeah?"
"Don't blink."
"Ha ha. Lame, dude."
"Hold that thought." Myka left her with an oxygen depleting kiss, leaving her flushed and panting alone in the middle of the bed.
"What?" Helena's eyes flew open in shock. "Bloody…! I can't believe you just did that. This isn't really a thought we're talking about here, Myka. There isn't actually even much talking involved, let alone thoughts!" She pushed herself up staring in disbelief at the closed bathroom door.
"Myka?" Helena was leaning back on her elbows, still panting when Myka came out of the bathroom.
"If you don't want to, it's okay." She turned around starting to go back into the bathroom.
"Myka, stop. It's okay," she said, softly patting the bed. "You've read the journals and we've discussed a great deal. You're well aware I have no qualms. None at all." She smiled, trying to calm Myka's obvious uncertainty.
"We've talked about it."
"Yes, we have. So, this is what Michael meant by your shopping trip," Helena added softly, humor in her voice. "Please, come here. It doesn't do either of us any good with you standing way over there and you've been most attentive, aside from the 'let's talk about it so I don't surprise you by leaving you hanging on the edge in agony while I get dressed in the bathroom and walk out in all my glory' part."
"It's not funny."
"I'm not laughing, darling. I'm merely somewhat, surprised, and not just a bit frustrated thanks to your well honed skills. If you don't get back in this bed right now, I'm going to have to finish what you started and I very much prefer your touch to my own. So, for the love of God, get over here. You've obviously got some ideas of your own, which I am more than anxious to indulge. Not to mention the fact that I seem to be doing a lot of talking right now, which though not unusual, but perhaps just a little bit excessive, seems inappropriate at the moment and I would much rather be not talking and you know a very good way of getting me to stop…"
Myka had taken the last few uncertain steps towards the bed during the blathering and pushed Helena down into the jumble of bed covers, covering her mouth with her own. Helena pushed her back slightly, needing air. "Yes. Just like that," she panted. "Myka, could we maybe just…Oh, yes, please…take a small step back." She took three deep breaths, exhaling slowly and unevenly. "I just need you to…Oh, God…Please, stop moving." Myka unknowingly kept rubbing against her inner thighs.
"I'm sorry. I'm not doing this right." Myka tried to roll off, but Helena grabbed her by her hips firmly.
"No. Please, stop moving. Just, stay right where you are." She closed her eyes against the new sensations taking hold in her lower depths. "Alright. Now that step back. Lean back on your knees...away from me."
Myka did as requested looking hurt. "You're nervous? God, I'm really messing this up, aren't I? I really don't know what I'm doing. I just wanted...I mean, we've talked about it and I thought…"
Helena sat up and kneeled before Myka, stopping her with a long kiss before pulling Myka's forehead to her own. "My dearest, sweet Myka. You're fine. Everything is just fine. I'm not nervous, per se. A wee bit unprepared, that's all. And every time you touch me it is a bit over stimulating. You just are not aware that you are indeed touching me."
"I don't know what I'm doing," Myka pleaded.
"Sweetheart, that's okay. I assure you, you can not disappoint me. Let's just slow down. You are a nervous wreck and there's no need to be. It's me, Myka. Just me. Here." She grabbed Myka's hand pulling it between her legs, swallowing hard. "Does that feel like I'm not ready for this?"
"Holy crap!" Myka's eyes widened. "I've never done this before."
"I know, but I have. Granted, not in a very, very long time. Well over a century in fact." She smiled up at the hesitant face, kissing the tip of Myka's nose. "Like everything else, we just take it one step at a time and we go slow. We've talked about this. If you're not comfortable, then we stop and that's okay. Obviously, you trust me enough to introduce something new and I am far from complaining. I trust you to love me, Myka." She took Myka's hand again, placing it against the wetness awaiting her. "Only trust creates that in me."
"Now what?" Myka implored.
Helena took her face gently in both hands, running her right thumb across her cheekbone, asking slowly and quietly, "Myka? Are you okay with this?"
"Well...yeah...but…I..." Myka stuttered.
"Then kiss me." Helena didn't wait or give Myka time to back away, pulling her face towards her. She took her time, memorizing every taste and touch of her lover's mouth. She dug her hands in loose curls, treasuring every bump and deviation of her scalp, following a path of tendons to shoulders, her thumb circling the top of her shoulder and slowly traveling down her arms to finally hold her hands.
"Come with me." Helena whispered in her ear. With a slight tug on Myka's hand, she slowly leaned back onto the bed, accepting her fully between her spread knees. Holding her tightly, she nibbled her way back to Myka's ear. "Are you still okay?"
Myka pressed against her gently, kissing a path across her collarbone, sucking on the slight rise of the fracture. She buried her hands in the dark hair, mimicking Helena's earlier exploration.
"Myka?" Helena managed between ragged breaths. "Nature does wondrous things, but in this particular…"
"Drawer. Next to the Bible." Myka lifted her head smiling, leaning over to open the drawer and grabbing the lubricant. "Seemed appropriate." She sat up taking Helena's right hand, pouring a generous amount into her hand. "Please? I don't know how much longer I can wait. Unless you're not ready…"
Helena smiled up at the still apprehensive face. She reached down between them, applying the fluid to the dildo wiping the excess off along the length of Myka's back and shoulder. "Not quite so much next time," she said softly, grinning. Myka's face broke at the comment, but melted away with the kiss that followed.
"I don't know…"
"You're fine," Helena choked out. "Kiss me." She reached between them again guiding her to her dripping center. "You're fine. You're beautiful and I love you. I'm more than ready. Just go slow and easy." Myka pressed in the tip and stopped, hesitating. "That's it…A little more…And again."
"I don't think I can…"
"Then don't," Helena exhaled, groaning as Myka slowly drove the full length of the dildo home.
"I don't know…"
"Oh, yes, you do!" Helena rose to meet the next thrust, grabbing the headboard with her right hand, her knuckles turning white smiling at the expression on Myka's face as they moved together, finding their rhythm. "Don't you dare hold back on me now." She met each thrust, her body demanding more until she curled into the dazed body above her, shuddering. She'd let go of the headboard, clawing the wet, slick shoulders as her head fell backwards, swearing at the sudden pain of the deep bite in the crook of her neck. They fell to the bed, barely able to catch air. Myka started to pull out. "Not yet," Helena begged; hugging her tightly, warm irregular air caressing the wound on her neck, she waited for the calm to follow. "Okay," she whispered.
Myka rolled over, eyes wide-open, staring at the sliver of light across the ceiling from the bathroom. "Oh, my god. Why did I wait so long?"
Helena followed her close behind like a magnet. She chuckled into the still moist neck, her fingers tracing invisible fractures to Myka's reawakening along her ribs. "You weren't ready and had no motive presented to you to pursue. Everything happens when it's right." Helena sat up on her knees. "Let me help you." Setting the toy aside, she licked the remaining perspiration pooled in Myka's navel, continuing to her breasts. She found her head being pulled up gently, examined by bright greens eyes.
Helena whined her complaint, "Darling, I love your breasts. They are absolutely magnificent. So, why is my mouth up here and not otherwise occupied?"
Myka searched the face above her. "What do you mean I had no motive before?" she asked seriously.
"Dear, I had other things in mind just now, that I know from experience, will not take long in succeeding right now. You're humming. So if we can just hold off…"
"You're right. It won't take long at all and I'm pretty sure that's not going to change one thing...Did I hurt you?"
Helena kissed her softly. "No, darling, you didn't. Well, aside from your vampire act," she rubbed the growing welt on the side of her neck, "which I believe will take some time to heal. Oh, lovely. Vanessa is going to show me no mercy." Helena quickly kissed the parted lips again, smiling.
"What motive are you talking about?" Myka persisted.
Helena rolled onto her back sighing, regretting the timing of her comment. "Please, come here."
She stretched out her arm, awaiting Myka to move into its protective shield, holding her tightly. "Think about the recent events in our lives and the effects they have had on us. Michael threw a huge, what did Pete say that one time? Ah, yes, a huge curve ball. I'll never understand where these expressions come from."
"Helena?"
"Uh, yes, Sorry. Somewhere, somehow, in some primitive sense of the human psyche, you may have needed to stake your claim in some fashion as much as I needed you to. I am yours. Really, I commend you. I've rarely found that, uh, position to be quite so very satisfying."
"Where do you come up with this? I don't know that I like the way that all sounded. It's so…base. "
"I had a great deal of time to think about a great deal of many things if you recall. Apparently, you were not listening very closely. From what I heard, neither of us found the experience objectionable. Quite the opposite I'd say." Helena kissed the top of Myka's head. "I don't consider myself a piece of property. There is much more to it than that and you know it. We'll be separating again for an unknown length of time."
"So, if Michael never showed up on our doorstep, this wouldn't have happened," Myka stated blandly.
Helena sighed deeply, getting frustrated. "Don't try to analyze so. You were already very curious and more than ready. I came very close to doing a little shopping of my own long before Michael arrived. Michael was a catalyst for you. You should know me well enough by now to know that if I had any doubts where this new adventure of yours arose from, it would not have happened. Love and trust. That is the key, love. But mostly, you were ready and so was I. There doesn't have to be anything more behind it than that."
"Are you sure?" Myka asked getting up to straddle her hips.
"Very. I've never allowed anyone control but you." She brushed Myka's hair back, smiling and raised her knee. "Are we quite done with this conversation? Because we have a new toy to explore and I'd really like to get back to…" She moaned as Myka pressed into her thigh. "Yes. That."
"What were you watching in the plaza?" she mumbled into Helena's back. She traced the jagged scar along her shoulder blade. She found Helena dozing beneath her with her head resting on her crossed arms a much more comforting pillow at the moment.
"Hmmm?" Helena rubbed her nose and exposed eye.
"When I walked in the room today, you were staring very intently out the window. Why?"
"What?" Helena asked, bewildered by this sudden change of their present comfortable world. She shifted, forcing Myka to slide off to the side and spoon her from behind. Missing the body heat that had surrounded her, she kicked her feet violently to loosen the sheet and pulled it up over them. "You do get quite heavy sometimes."'
Myka leaned over, pulling the long hair aside, whispering in her ear, "So do you."
"I was waiting for you and observing Mr. Sloppy try to follow you. He lost sight of you twice. I don't anticipate any issues in the morning," she grumbled.
"I was already in the building and standing behind you. Do you want to have a child?" Myka blurted out. She felt the immediate change in the body from its previous relaxed state.
"You certainly are very conversationally inclined tonight or rather this morning, aren't you? You do realize we've barely slept and it's two am? Two am. Bloody hell. We are the curse."
"Helena, stop brushing this off. You always do."
"Why must we talk about it now?"
"Because I want to know and we never talk about it." Myka rolled away from Helena. "Pete's right. We live with a ghost," she mumbled at the ceiling.
"Pete has no right to make judgments upon things about which he knows nothing," Helena responded fiercely.
"Think I've heard something like that before," she mumbled under her breath. Myka touched the scarred shoulder, pulling Helena towards her. "I'm not talking to your back. Pete wasn't making a judgment. He made a suggestion and I think he's right. So answer me for once. Do you want to have a child?"
"I'm too old. As you keep pointing out, I'm not actually 36. I guess that would be 37 now."
"Lots of women your age have kids. It's not as easy and that's why Vanessa said sooner than later, but it's not impossible. She didn't see any reason not to, and who said you'd be the one to have it?"
"That was at least a year ago. Much has happened since then. These women you refer to were not born in 1866 and have had over thirty years of modern health care that I have not. In many ways it's a miracle I survived one pregnancy. Oh, and let us not forget that whole 100 years of bronze."
They lay in silence, the words dripping painfully from the ceiling, engulfing them.
Helena turned her head towards Myka. "Do you want a child? You've never seemed the least bit interested. You don't even seem to like them much from what I've heard and seen. You complain about story time at the library and cringe in the grocery."
"Like you said, a lot's happened. A year ago I would have said no frakking way. Actually, I think I basically kind of did say that. I just don't want us making excuses because we're scared. It used to be the job and the warehouse. Well, here we are, supposedly away from the warehouse and finding a new life and not much safer for it. Let's face it; anyone takes on a big risk with a child. I could get hit by a bus or you could be pushed off of a cliff."
Helena faced Myka, befuddled. "A cliff?"
"Well, you know, you do have a way of pissing Pete off and Artie…we all know how that goes." Myka smiled at her.
"Ha, ha." Helena stuck her tongue out at her.
"Fine. I've been thinking about it, okay? With you involved, then yeah, I'm kind of interested."
"Interested? There's a great deal more to it than being interested." Helena shook her head, eyes wide.
"What I mean is, no, I never really saw myself as a mother. But with you, it seems maybe, kinda, sorta, right. As long as Artie isn't the father."
"Artie? What would ever make you think of him?" Helena was appalled.
"I don't know. I just really can't imagine your eyes with those eyebrows."
"Darling, when is the last time you looked at a picture of Charles? It seems bushy eyebrows are already a part of my genetic traits."
"Better not to take the chance then." Myka laughed at Helena's horrified expression.
"Do you really think this is the best time to make this decision? Why did you even bring it up?" Helena turned her back to Myka again. Myka followed, leaning over her.
"I don't want to make a decision about it. We just never talk about it and I'm tired of ignoring it. It's another elephant. It's a night for elephants, okay? Or as Claudia would say, heffalumps and woozles. I know that expression on your face. You were watching the kids playing soccer. I see you when there are kids around. I know you go to the children's section in the library when you meet me for lunch on Saturdays, and it's not for Dr. Seuss. You sit and watch, and you smile. I just don't know if you're looking into the past or the future. Do you see a ghost or a future?"
Helena lay still in silence.
"I guess only you can answer that." Myka curled up behind her, nuzzling the back of her neck for comfort. "I'm sorry. I should have left it alone."
"No, Myka, don't be sorry. No more heffalumps and woozles. I've had quite enough of those these past few days and am much happier leaving them to books. I merely have no answer for you. For now, can we stay in the present? I think at this point we should give Vanessa more than just a few marks to comment on."
"Avoidance." Myka stroked the warm cheek, finding the moisture betraying the slight tremor in the voice.
"Only that of what the sunlight will bring. Nothing more."
Artie grabbed a Danish from the counter and sat across from Claudia.
"What are you doing here? Don't you have a problem to fix?"
"It's not really a problem so much as it is an issue, Artie. Besides, I don't think it's something I can fix and Mrs. F. is being way too cryptic." She drained her coffee getting up to fill it again.
"That's Mrs. Frederic. I fail to see the difference between problem and issue and just how much coffee have you had anyway?"
"I was up making phone calls until after midnight trying to fix your 'problem', so give me a break."
"Fine. I'll give you a break. Go over to the warehouse and give this to Steve. I have a turkey to cook." He handed her an envelope. "Send Steve back here. His job is cooking today and helping Abigail keep Pete's paws out of the food. He seems to think he is the designated taste tester."
Claudia looked at the envelope. "Hey, this is HG's handwriting."
"Must have gotten lost in the mail. He can share it with us over dinner. Now go."
"Yeah, whatever. When's the Doc going to get here? You could be a little nicer."
"She's not. She was called away for some emergency surgery somewhere. Couldn't say anything else. So go fix that problem."
"Happy Thanksgiving to you too, Grumpy."
Helena groaned at the sudden loss of the warm comfort she'd wrapped herself around in her sleep. Her last memories were that of being encased in long, strong, damp arms, while still coming down from an endorphin surged high. Her sleep muddled brain cleared quickly hearing Myka's voice, cold and annoyed.
"Yeah?"
"It's four o'clock. You have less than an hour. I'll come directly to your door. I suggest you take separate showers."
"Fine. We'll be ready. Am I supposed to thank you for the call?"
"I thought you'd need a wake up call after that shopping trip. Did she enjoy your surprise? I can only imagine how much she enjoyed it. I never got the chance. How about you? Did she give you a good send off too?"
"She's right. You are an ass." Myka threw the phone across the room.
"Let me guess. Michael." Helena was sitting up trying desperately to kick her legs free of the twisted sheet again and rubbing the residual scratchiness in her eyes from lack of sleep.
Myka fell back on the bed face first, mumbling into a pillow. "He thought we'd need a wake up call."
Finally free of her bindings, Helena straddled Myka, laying kisses down her spine. "I always hated it when he was right." She rested her full weight down on the length of the sex infused body beneath her, resting her head on Myka's shoulder, breathing in deeply. "God, I love how you smell in the morning. Did you know the sense of smell is thought to be the strongest of memories?" She licked the expanse between the shoulder blades, soothing the red inflamed streaks she'd left behind. "Followed by taste."
"Sweet talk and that tongue of yours will get you anywhere and everywhere and you know it. We need to shower and be ready in less than an hour," she added sadly, pulling her arms up under her head.
"Indeed, I do. However, it's not sweet talk when it's true, and no amount of showering is going to mask the smell of sex in this room." Helena chuckled, burying her face deep in Myka's neck, inhaling deeply once more. If only I had mortise…"
She squealed in surprise as Myka bucked her off, suddenly finding their positions reversed, her arms held firmly to the bed.
"I'm not actually clear how you managed that, but…Oh God…" Myka started paying far too much attention to the back of her neck. "That's not fair," she breathed, pushing her head into the pillow.
"It seemed fair last night. Or was it this morning?" Myka bit down gently one last time before rolling off with great difficulty. "Shower. Very cold shower. Alone. Definitely alone." She jumped off the bed leaving Helena on her stomach, growling in frustration into the pillow.
"I hate you!" she yelled at the bathroom door.
Myka poked her head out of the bathroom quickly, waiting for the water to warm up. "The real problem is you really, really, REALLY don't hate me and that damned neck of yours is the serpent's apple."
"That's two problems, you dolt! Learn to count!" Helena threw a pillow at the closed bathroom door. "That really didn't make this any easier," she whispered into her knees, tears dropping into her lap.
"I can't believe we're doing this, again. This is why we left!" Myka zipped up her bag and threw it towards the door.
"I know," Helena said quietly with little emotion and maneuvered around the room deliberately, collecting the few items she had.
"Are we going to spend the rest of our lives with you dancing around the underworld? How many enemies do you have?" Myka sat on the bed and landed heavily on her back among the mass of covers she'd retrieved from the floor earlier and thrown in the middle.
"I don't know." Helena sat in the chair rubbing her temples, once again fighting off the new pounding in her head.
"I'm going to be stuck in the stupid warehouse with stupid Pete, again, not knowing where you are, again. Do you have any idea what that is like, Helena? Every night I try to sleep in a cold bed. Every morning I wake up in a cold bed. Every day I wonder where you are. Even you don't know where you are going."
"I know," she said simply.
"I miss your damned cold feet." Myka threw a pillow at her.
She remained impassive, ignoring the pillow now on the floor. "I know."
"You know. Is there anything you don't know? My God, Helena. How can you just sit there? Why can't you just come with me? Why can't you have the surgery later?"
"Myka, I don't have a choice." She closed her eyes against the frustration being thrown at her, running her hand through her hair.
"You don't have a choice. Really? That's your answer? The Regents are still pulling your strings. That's why we left the warehouse. You wanted to leave it behind you. Yet, here we are in the place we finally became us and are now being pulled away from each other because of the Regents."
Helena stood up abruptly, hugging herself. "Why are we doing this? I don't want to argue with you anymore. It's done." She looked over at the tense body on the bed, legs hanging off the end. "Do you really think this is any easier for me? I'm not doing this because of the Regents, Myka. I'm doing it for you!"
Myka sat up and stared at her dumbfounded.
"If you want to do something for me, than please, come with me. It's almost Christmas for Christ's sake. Pete's planned the whole thing just for us. Are you going to even be there? How soon after this stupid surgery are they bringing you back to me? When do I finally get you for Christmas? How many years Helena? We've never been together on Christmas."
"I don't know." She'd gone over to the window, staring at the dimly lit plaza imagining the children playing in the center again. Myka came to stand in front of her, pulling her chin to look at her.
"Do you even know what today is?"
"Today? What's so special about today?" Confused, she dug deep in the recesses of her mind for something she'd missed during the stress of the past few days.
"It's Thanksgiving, Helena. Thanksgiving Day." It was a blank statement.
"I'm sorry, Myka. That's not exactly a holiday that remains in the forefront of my mind."
"It's Thanksgiving Day. I was looking forward to today because I was so thankful to have your cold feet back sneaking under me in the middle of the night. Instead, you're being taken away from me. I'm really not sure if you're being taken away or if you're leaving me." Hurt and feeling lost, Myka wiped her nose and eyes, determined to not lose her control now.
The knock on the door stopped them. Helena shoved the last of her belongings in her bag while Myka opened the door.
Michael's serious face shoved itself through the opening. "Let's go, ladies. Your transport is waiting and we don't have a lot of time. I need you on that tarmac before sunrise." He felt the tension in the room and looked from one face to the other. He took a couple of short sniffs. "You might want to consider opening up a window next time."
"Ass" Myka spat, picking her bag up and leading the way.
"Come on. Let's go. Butch up, Helena!" He smirked.
She physically rammed him with her shoulder on the way out the door. "In this particular situation I believe I have more balls than you could ever dream of."
"You're probably right," he mumbled, face falling as he shut the door.
"Myka, you need to get on that plane. Now," Helena shouted to her over the noise on the tarmac. "You have my ring and locket? I don't want them lost in some bloody hospital."
"Of course I have them. Why can't you just wait? Give them time to clear everything up. I should be with you. I want to be with you. They're just thugs, not geniuses."
"It has to be now. You need to go to the warehouse. It's the only place you will be safe. They might just be thugs, but they are very pissed off and with good reason."
"I don't understand."
Helena grabbed her arm. "Myka, you are and always will be my priority. I love you. I have to go now." Helena grabbed her tightly one more time for just one more kiss. "I love you. Don't forget that." Helena turned and ran off to the helicopter where Michael was waiting for her.
Myka stood frozen, someone grasping her arm. Helena turned back one more time, a face of pure panic and terror on her face, before getting into the helicopter. "Helena!"
"Agent Bering, we need you on the plane. Please." A voice spoke in her ear as the helicopter took off in the distance.
"Oh, no, no, no, no, no." Claudia jumped up from the chair and ran out the door to the deck, the door slamming behind her.
Steve looked up to see where she was headed. One look was all he needed. He followed right on her heels as she ran down the stairs two and three at a time.
"Claudia! When did we start having mini-tornadoes?" He ran behind her through the maze of aisles.
"Like thirty seconds ago. Ouch!" She jumped back from the unlocked gate at a strong discharge. "Shit. This is not good, Steve."
"Really? I don't think I'd have figured that out, but thanks for the update."
"Have you tried calling them?" He wrapped his arm around her shoulder.
"Yeah. I just get voice mail. I stopped leaving messages around midnight. Happy Thanksgiving, Steve."
"Helena, how nice to see you. Dr. Jordan should be waiting for us. Ready to get some nerves back? I'm missing a great dinner for this, I'll have you know. Where's Myka?"
"Vanessa, always a pleasure. I am truly sorry about the dinner. Myka made a point of reminding me of the significance of this day, but the timing was not of my choosing either. She won't be with me this time." Helena turned to Michael and asked shortly, "Did you bring the papers?"
"Yes." He handed her a file and a pen. "Do you really think this is necessary?"
"You don't? How long until we land?" She glared at him, her eyes burning holes through his own. He gracefully looked away.
"A few hours, I'm not sure," Michael answered staring straight ahead of him.
"Helena, I don't understand. Why isn't Myka coming?" Vanessa asked, confused. "We can wait."
"She's being targeted by some unfriendly former associations of mine for revenge, apparently. She's being taken to the warehouse where she will be safest while I get this blasted hand fixed," Helena snapped, furiously writing.
"So, we hold off on the surgery. I'm not really sure why you're pushing it through like this."
"I'm not. The Holy Regents are. I said it was not my choice. Care to explain, Michael?" Helena continued writing, not looking up. "Apparently, the good doctor has not been thoroughly briefed on the complexities of this surgery that is about to take place on my hand. Or shall I do it for you?"
"How long have you known, Helena?" He glanced at her quickly before looking at Vanessa's confused face.
"When do you think, you bloody bastard? Since your pep talk in the hotel room. I knew something was afoot when you left me to shower that morning. You can be so bloody stupid sometimes. I know you better than you ever gave me credit for. Yet another reason I never slept with you."
"Eighteen hours." She paused, her pen suspended, jaw set, eyes focused intently on the papers in her lap. "That was the best you could do?" She finished her work, signed the bottom with her usual flourish and handed it to him. She smiled. "What fun it would have been to sign that left-handed. Your turn," she commanded coldly, taking the paperwork back after he provided his own signature.
"I think it's time to fill in the doctor and that would be me. What the hell is going on?" Vanessa demanded.
"Doctor," Michael began, "We are in the process of 'containing' a threat to Myka and Helena, and by association, myself. She has been the target of a group that Helena and I had dealings with in the past and they are seeking their revenge by trying to harm Myka. She is being taken to the warehouse, out of harm's way, until we can make our final move while Helena gets her hand fixed."
Helena hesitated before handing the confused doctor the file of papers, tears finally giving way with her next request. "Vanessa, I am so very sorry to have to ask this of you, but I need you to sign this for me, as a witness, please."
"What is this?" Vanessa asked slowly without looking.
Helena handed her a sealed envelope. "Please see Myka gets this when you get back to the States. While no one can guarantee my safety, at least I can Myka's. She has been removed from the stratagem which has left me as the sole factor. You could say I am the cheese."
Vanessa looked at her oddly, then the papers in front of her. "I'm sorry, but I don't seem to be following."
"It's my last will and testament. I'm the bloody bait."
Chapter Text
"So are you going to share that letter with us or what?" Claudia kept pestering Steve during dinner. He'd remained silent since he read it earlier in the day at the warehouse.
"I'm telling you there's nothing to share. She wrote it awhile ago. Like Artie said, it must have gotten lost in the mail. Half of it was illegible because it got wet."
"We really need to get her waterproof ink for that fancy pen of hers. Why can't she use a normal pen like the rest of us?"
Pete broke out in laughter, filling his plate with seconds. "Are you even listening to yourself, Claudia? Can you really see HG using anything besides a fountain pen by choice? Besides, Myka gave it to her for her birthday that first year in this century or was it the second? Who knew she could be so sentimental. One day she's trying to blow up the world and the next she's turned into a sap, and no one in this room tells her I just said that." He pointed his fork around the table. "Just buy her the ink."
"Fine." Claudia gave up. "Now what did she say, Steve?"
"Guy's I'm telling you…"
Abigail interrupted. "Steve, do you think you are going to get any peace? Pass me the stuffing too, please, before Yogi here finishes it off preparing for the first snow. Now what did she say?"
Steve looked up to see four eager faces staring at him.
He sighed throwing his napkin down to pull the letter out of his back pocket.
Steve,
We are leaving tonight for destinations unknown. It shall prove to be an interesting trip. I received an unwelcome guest from the past. How strange to think that in the few years I've been here, I'm already collecting a second past. Myka and I, this is where it gets all messy, blah, blah, blah, and then, heading for London first and then probably Spain. We will send you postcards. Surgery is still on the board and I am anxious to be done with it. We will be sporadically available so do not get concerned if you do not hear from us.
-HG
"See. Like I said, it's a lot of nothing." He crumpled up the letter throwing it in the middle of the table. "Go nuts. It's not very informative and we already know all of it at this point."
Artie placed his glasses on the table. "Any progress on your issue, Claudia?" He turned his head slowly to look at her.
"Why is it all my issue? You all work here too."
"That would be a 'no', then," he stated.
"Yeah. It's a big fat no."
Vanessa continued her pre-surgical exam in silence. Helena sat emotionless, for the first time not complaining about anything Vanessa needed to do, staring calmly in front of her. Silent. Resigned. Empty.
"You are in very little danger. The Regents will have made sure of that," Helena broke the icy silence.
"My job doesn't make me anymore immune to danger. I'm no fool. The Regents think this is your idea, you know." Vanessa stepped back, putting her stethoscope in a pocket on the front of her smock crossing her arms.
Helena jerked her head up at that comment and then relaxed with a resigned sigh. "Michael always did lie to get what he wanted. I should have known. One of the main reasons I refused to work with him anymore. I couldn't trust him. Funny, isn't it, how I knew I could always trust everyone at the warehouse, even in the beginning when I myself betrayed them? Even Artie." She bent her head back, looking at the ceiling and let out a loud, miserable groan. "I was too worried about Myka, and he knew that. He used it against me. When did I get so blind? Regardless, it is the best way to get this over with. We won't be free until it is."
"So, what is the plan?" Vanessa sat down on the stool looking up at the woman on the exam table. "Do you even know?"
Dropping her head she contemplated over the concerned face. "At the moment I can only guess. Michael has been rather surreptitious so far regarding the whole matter." Helena shrugged. "Not knowing what the actual situation is regarding this so called strike against whatever the source of the threat is, I am forced to play along for now, and by my own fault. Apparently love is blind. I certainly fell into their hands easily enough. Since I am presently here for surgery, as are you, Dr. Jordan and the rest of the medical staff, a coordinated effort is most likely in place and waiting. They need to draw them out and they will now that all trace of Myka's whereabouts will have been erased. They are not the brightest foe, but organized nonetheless and always blinded by whatever intent they have. In this case, revenge. If not Myka, than I will suit them well enough."
"Yet, you are concerned enough to update legal documents," Vanessa reminded her.
"I would be foolish not to, do you not agree? I have the greatest and blessed reason to do so now. Myka." She smiled sadly. "I never have before. My dear Vanessa, I have never felt a need to have such a plethora of legal documents in this century until I got the flu. I had no ties to be concerned with, no real concern for what could actually happened to me, and I was happy enough to let the Regents do as they chose. It's the same reason you have updated documents before this surgery, as you always have. It's always been about Myka. This time, there just happens to be a risk beyond a surgical one."
"Do you think you are in that much danger?"
"Yes, I do. I've been involved with this side of our employer for many years. I know Michael well enough to know he will do whatever he needs to do to keep me safe, whatever else I may think of him personally. The staff is well protected. I'd anticipate more risk after the surgery when you are far gone and comfortable at home. Myka? I couldn't take that chance."
Vanessa reverted to spinning back and forth on the stool during their conversation and was now looking at the floor, getting dizzy and stopped in the silence. The bright artificial lighting gave her patient a false pallor.
"Vanessa," Helena broke the sharp silence again, "Since you are here, and I am being examined, do you think we could have that pre-pregnancy discussion and exam? I realize it is not the normal timing for such a request."
Vanessa pushed the stool back in surprise. "Change of plans? Don't you think Myka should be included in this?"
"If we get to that point, of course. We have not made any decisions. She has, however, made some valid points recently that are worthy of my consideration. I would prefer to be as well informed as possible and have all the facts presented to me before we continue with any further discussion. I may be the bait, but I have no intention of sitting around waiting for someone else to use me. I promised Myka I would always do my best to make sure I came home. I intend to keep that promise no matter what it takes. Now, let's get this horrid exam over with so we can talk. It appears we have time on our hands and I have many questions. I'll be honest, Vanessa, the thought of childbirth terrifies me. It was not entirely the most wholesome experience for me and I consider myself rather fortunate."
"Does Myka know this?"
"No. Not yet, but she will."
"Well, things have changed a lot since the 19th century. Let's see if I can ease some of those fears." She took Helena's hand and gave it a slight comforting squeeze. "Okay. You know the routine, and from the looks of Myka's dental records, she made some very strong points. That neck's going to take some time to heal." Vanessa smiled for the first time since Helena boarded the helicopter. "Didn't know we had a vampire in our midst."
"Lovely. The doctor finally finds her sense of humor. I'm surprised it took you this long to point that out." Helena flopped down on the exam table for the second time.
"I've held back. The circumstances caught me a little off guard. I promise to show you no mercy now. Must have been one hell of an 18 hours." She smirked. "Let me go get what I need and you can tell me all about those love wounds of yours." Vanessa laughed on her way to the door.
"Not bloody likely!"
"No dude, seriously, you should have seen him. Pete is like the king of Black Friday. He's a shopping fiend! We hit the mall and he pulls out this list and a map, and has like this complete military operation planned out. I swear he had GPS coordinates. We were done by noon. It was awesome!" Claudia's laughter rang throughout the B & B. She sat in the side chair with her legs over the edge, her popcorn bowl on her stomach precariously bouncing with every belly laugh.
"So does this mean I get to take him with me tomorrow?" Steve asked calmly. Getting out of his chair he made the best Bambi eyes he could and pleaded getting on one knee in front of Pete on the sofa, "Please be my shopping date, Pete."
"The shopping master is all yours, my man. All of this genius," he gestured to himself, "is at your disposal."
Claudia threw popcorn at him, the Grinch completely forgotten in the background.
"Hey, hey, hey. That's good popcorn you're wasting." He started gathering the pieces around him, tossing them in his mouth. "Remember? Number five on the list; gourmet popcorn for holiday television viewing."
"I've got to know. Where did you learn it?" Claudia threw one last piece at him.
"From me," Myka said smiling at the scene in front of her, leaning against the door frame. "He learned that from me. I hate shopping and devised a plan every year to get through it as quickly and painlessly as possible."
Claudia dropped her bowl, popcorn scattering across the floor as the Grinch's heart grew three times its size that day. "Myka! I thought you guys were traveling around in the sun before HG's surgery? Hey, where is she? You should have told us you were coming. We'd have freshened up your old room."
Pete already had her in a big bear hug swinging her around. "Yeah. Where is your scary other? She bringing stuff in? Didn't think she played the butch on you. Does she need help?"
He felt her body sag in his arms. "Mykes? What's going on?"
"A little change in travel plans, that's all," she sniffed.
He put her on her feet holding her up, all laughter disappearing into the dark corners of the room. "No, Mykes, you're almost in tears. Is HG okay? Where is she?"
"I don't know." She fell into his arms sobbing.
"Hey, did I miss it? Aww, guys, you were supposed to wait. Please tell me you didn't eat all the popcorn, Pete." Abigail stared at the blue screen casting a strange aura around the group in the dimmed light, recognizing a new addition.
"Myka? Myka! When did you get here? Where's HG?" The silent tension washed over her initial excitement. She took a seat in the rocker and pulled a blanket protectively over herself. "What's going on?"
"We were just getting caught up," Steve said with little emotion standing up to put another log on the fire. "Anyone want some tea?" No one responded the sparks flash catching the bits of the new log. "I'll just take that as a yes."
Pete handed Abigail a bowl of popcorn that she just set aside.
"Let me see if I have this straight," Pete started, trying to get everything straight in his head. "You two lost your freaky thing. Some guy shows up early in the morning, that Helena kind of had a fling with, but never did the deed with, 'cause she was waiting for you?" He scratched his head. "Yeah, sorry, Mykes, I'm still having trouble with that one." Everyone glared at him. "Hey, we're talking about HG here, right?" He shrunk under the glares. "Okay, I get it! Anyway, this dude showed up on your doorstep telling you that the evil doers from Helena's 007 days were following you guys around. They wanted you out of the picture so they can round them up before they attack you guys so they sent you to Tenerife, a somewhat isolated place and kind of a second honeymoon sort of thing…Ouch!" Claudia smacked his head.
"You weren't supposed to let them know you knew, D-bag."
"I don't think that's important now, Claud. Sorry, Mykes. It kinda came up one day. ANYway, you get sent on vacation in paradise, you're pissed off at HG for some stupid reason - wow, you really can be an ass." He stared at her expecting the punch that never came. "O-kay…she's hurting like hell, gets drunk and runs off to 'Mr. Fabio want to be' and they figure out it's you they are targeting for the ultimate revenge on your wife, 'cause really, she loves you more than anything. You get your last supper in a super-duper fancy hotel, where you mostly make up, I'm guessing in the true Bering & Wells way, yeah, we can kind of see the marks, until they can fly you guys out at top speed. You get sent here for protection and she gets sent to some undisclosed location for surgery until they decide to make their move on the bad guys. We know Vanessa had to bag Thanksgiving dinner here at the last minute, so she's probably with HG. That's a plus for HG at least. You think there is more going on. That 'bout right?"
"In the ever evolving language of my lovely Victorian, yup."
Steve placed the tray on the coffee table. "Left-over Thanksgiving goodies and tea."
"Claudia, does this have anything to do with what's going on in the warehouse?" Abigail asked grabbing a slice of pie with her tea.
"What's going on in the warehouse?" Myka asked turning to Claudia quickly.
"Uh, nothing. No big deal." Claudia glared at Abigail, shutting her up.
"What's going on in the warehouse?" Myka asked looking from one face to another, some avoiding eye contact, others shrugging the question off.
"Just a minor disturbance. No big deal." Claudia shrugged.
"Mini-tornadoes no big deal," Steve mumbled drinking his tea.
"What?" Myka shot a look at Claudia wide-eyed.
"I'll show you tomorrow. Don't worry about it. I am curious though, when did you lose your freaky thing?"
"I don't know. I think it was kind of gradual now that I think back, but it was in the library when we knew it was gone. Around the time her computer got zapped? No. Sometime after the roller coaster fiasco? She was finishing the new security upgrades. She wanted to send them out that day along with the grappler fixes. So, just before you got those, Claud. You did do those upgrades, right? Might come in handy now," she laughed bitterly.
"Duh. Of course we did. She was right. I had to rework her plans a little. She didn't know some of the changes in circuitry that I made. But yeah, up and running, and totally awesome. Do you think she knew?"
"I don't think so. She was pretty shocked when Michael showed up on our doorstep. I've never seen her so off balance before. She was keeping herself busy," Myka trailed off.
Steve shot a look at Claudia before moving to Myka sitting on the sofa leaning against Pete. "So you're here until the bad guys are caught?"
"I guess. Think Artie will give me my job back?" She gave a half laugh.
"He's kind of in DC on a snag. 'Taking a hit for the team' for the holiday since Vanessa was, well you know, and so we could get our shopping done. So, you taught the Pete man how to do the Black Friday shop, huh? He seemed to imply it was all his idea…"
"Yeah. A couple of years ago. He's always been bad at planning. Hey, is this the Grinch?" She picked up the DVD case casually. "Got any more popcorn?" she added weakly.
She was jumping into the endless darkness again, but it wasn't the cabin this time. She wasn't even aware of jumping off. She kept passing outcroppings on the sides. It was a deep cavern. Every cliff she passed, someone tried to grab her. First Claudia, then Steve, Abigail and the rest; even Michael. That last one made her shiver in the cold even more.
She was in the center of a stage surrounded by blinding lights. She doesn't remember landing. That would hurt, right? She can't see out beyond the lights. She tries to stand and hits her head on a cold steel table. The lights are centered on the table. She steps in a puddle of congealed blood, almost slipping. It's still dripping from an arm. The hand is gone and bleeding profusely. She follows the arm with her eyes. It's Helena's arm. She remembers the faint scar on her elbow. The scar on her elbow. She was eight. 1874. She stared at the scar. She wasn't going to look. No, she was not going to look. She looked and fell in a heap in the pool of blood, vomiting.
Myka jerked awake on the verge of screaming. The bathroom light was on, the door ajar. She jumped out of bed running to the bathroom in time to vomit. Turning on the shower, she stood under the cold water until she was shivering. She dumped the contents of her bag on the bed, searching for her other set of pajamas. They needed to be laundered but at least they were dry.
She turned off the bathroom light. She was alone. It had been force of habit to leave it on. She was not going to sleep alone now. She padded down the hallway knocking on the door.
Pete opened the door scratching his butt. "Mykes, what's wrong? You're freezing. Get in here."
He grabbed the extra blanket he never used wrapping her up in it.
"Can I stay with you?" Myka, terrified, pleaded.
Pete wasn't going to ask. He didn't need to.
"Yeah, of course. You sure you don't want Claudia? Don't you usually, you know, go to her when this happens?"
"No. I don't want Claudia. Please?"
He pulled back the covers. "We don't tell your wife."
"No, we don't tell my wife." She crawled under the covers getting close to the strange form, fighting not to make comparisons.
"She's okay, Myka." He turned on his side spooning the shivering body.
"No. Something isn't right, Pete."
"Thought you said you didn't have the freaks."
"We don't." Myka lay wide-eyed trying to shake the dream.
"Okay," he mumbled falling asleep. "But you got to admit it is just a little freaky. She's fine."
"What the hell did you do!?" Vanessa screamed from behind her mask.
"Nothing. Nothing should be happening," the anesthesiologist yelled back.
"THIS shouldn't be happening. Did you use the protocol I gave you?" Vanessa started busying herself and calling out orders.
"No. It didn't make sense. I used the normal protocol." He started busying himself with the drugs in front of him.
"There is nothing normal about her! That's why I'm here. That's why I gave you that protocol, you moron. Now get her back! NOW!"
Chapter Text
"You shouldn't be here, Ms. Wells. It's not time for our game yet. You belong in 13. Your work here is done. You weren't supposed to stay. There was always a plan for you. You're destiny has been fulfilled." The man sat before the chess board.
Helena looked around her. Warehouse 12. " Caturanga? What am I doing here? Where is Myka?"
"Now, that is a puzzle, isn't it?" He laughed.
"Mummy?" The girl stepped from behind the laughing man, her hands resting on his shoulders.
Helena fell to her knees. "Christina?"
"Yes, Mummy. Why are you here? Where are Grace and Thomas?" The girl attempted to approach, but stopped short in confusion.
"I'm sorry, darling. I don't know Grace or Thomas." She tried to entice the girl into her arms. "Who are they?"
"You don't belong here. It's not your home. You must go." The girl backed away quickly. "Your future has been sealed." The girl wiped her nose on her sleeve.
"What? I don't understand." She implored of the retreating child.
"She is correct, Ms. Wells. You belong to 13 now. The queen must come back into play. Remember, she is the most powerful of all. Do not lose her."
"I don't understand!"
They were gone and she found herself standing in the middle of a stage. A giant chess piece stood beside her. A queen made of white marble. Solid and unmarred, it stood tall and strong, a warmth radiating from its core. She tried to look beyond the bright lights. She turned to look at the queen, seeking its warmth and strength. It was gone.
She looked down to see the floor was a marble chess board. A steel table sat in the middle, the floor littered with chess pieces; some standing, some lying haphazardly on their sides. Myka stood at the head of the table, tears falling unheeded. Helena tried to call out to her, but found she couldn't speak.
The brotherhood looked upon the table. One stepped forward and turned to her.
"A seal can always be broken." She heard faintly.
Blackness surrounded her.
"You idiotic buffoon! Consider yourself a very lucky man right now, because when this is over you are going to regret you ever stepped into this room."
"The protocol made absolutely no sense. Her labs were perfect. There was nothing in that protocol you handed me that was remotely sensible." He sat at the front of the table, closely watching, defending himself.
"That protocol was developed on past history. You've gotten complacent, George. You know better than to just change things. Your mistake was not changing the protocol; it was not asking me about it when it didn't make sense. Did you read the history first? I've been through two surgeries with her already and that so called nonsensical protocol was created specifically for her based on previous anomalies that occurred during the first of those procedures. Thanks to you, I have to tell a very good friend that she died today. If I were you, I wouldn't be standing there feeling happy you helped bring her back either. I'm not convinced you had anything to do with that."
"Dr. Calder, perhaps now would be a good time for you to step out so I can finish my job here and Dr. Reynolds can finish her job with your request. I think the danger is over and our friend is now more familiar with the special anesthetic requirements of our patient. I've already been dragged away from my Thanksgiving holiday, and I'd like to get home sooner than later. Wouldn't you, Dr. Reynolds?"
"My cat would be happy about that." The woman leaning over her meticulous work responded without looking up.
"Ronald…" Vanessa gave him a cold look.
"Vanessa." Dr. Jordan looked up at her from his work with soft eyes. "Please?"
She looked at the faces of the doctors looking at her, the other surgical staff members quickly looking away, the tension palpable in the room. The silence in the room was only interrupted by the sound of monitors and the passing of instruments with soft requests.
"I'll be outside," she said softly.
"Of course. I'm almost done. Dr. Reynolds, how long for that shoulder?" His hands held still over his work, not taking his eyes off of Vanessa.
"Twenty minutes tops!" the young woman spoke cheerily. "Then she's ready to rock and roll."
Vanessa wondered exactly how old the surgeon was. One of the best in the field Mr. Kosan promised.
"I think there has been enough rocking and rolling," Vanessa grumbled under her breath tearing her mask off as she left the room.
Myka shot straight up at the sound of the alarm clock.
Pete was suddenly sitting beside her, damp from his shower, a firm calming hand on her shoulder. "Hey, you're okay, Mykes. It's just the alarm clock. I forgot to turn it off. You were still snoring, so I let you sleep. You had a pretty rough night and really pointy elbows."
"I don't snore," she answered defensively, shaking his hand off.
"Uh, yeah, you do. At least you were this morning." He gave her stiff smile. "Do yourself a favor and don't look in a mirror. Just go directly to 'go' and get in the shower. Sleeping with wet hair is not a good thing for you. At least it's not blonde this time." He chuckled.
"Ha, ha. And where's Artie's toothbrush?" She stuck her tongue out at him, pulling the covers up to her chin against the chill in the room.
"Oh, geez. Don't even ask. I don't want to know."
She ran her hands through her snarled hair. "I feel like crap."
"Not a big surprise. Want to talk about it?"
"No. It was just a nightmare," she brushed him off.
"She's fine, Myka. You know how she is. She's HG." He lightly punched her in the shoulder.
"And she left me, Pete! Again. She just took off and left me without any explanation. Just some lame comment about me being her priority. I'm tired of it. I thought we left all that behind. I don't even know where she is. Again. Arrgh! When will it stop? When will we ever get to just be us? When will she stop leaving me?!"
"I don't know, Mykes," he said softly. "It's kind of that white knight thing of hers. To her, you are her priority. Kinda always have been. She's always going to try to protect you. You know that. It hasn't been an easy road for you two. Did you really expect it to be? For starters, she was born over a century before you were. Look how it all began."
"Yeah, hanging from her stupid ceiling." Myka dropped to the side on the bed, clutching a pillow to her chest.
Pete chuckled making her glare at him.
"Well, you have to admit, it is kind of funny. You guys are not exactly a normal couple. Don't look at me like that. You know I'm right and it is funny."
"Her being who knows where, supposedly having surgery, is not funny. I want to be with her, damn it! I've always been there." She sat up again, punching the pillow. Punching the pillow again she added weakly, "She hates hospitals."
"Yeah, well, sometimes it doesn't work out that way. You can't change it, so maybe you just need to let it go for now." He got up from the bed before he became her target instead of the pillow.
"What!?"
"What else are you going to do?" He shrugged, grabbing a sweatshirt out of his messy closet. "Look, Claudia has been dealing with some warehouse stuff and I think you can help her with it. I have to take Steve Christmas shopping before Artie gets back. Take a shower, find Claud, and we'll all figure this out together. Left-overs tonight. We'll have another Thanksgiving dinner now that you're home. You are home, right?"
"I don't know, Pete. My home is Helena and I don't know where she is."
"I know," he said quietly, squatting in front of her. "Let's just take it one step at a time. Wells and Bering will be back together again. That much I know."
"Bering and Wells! What makes you so sure, anyway?"
"Call it a vibe. Now go take a shower. You're really scary looking right now with your hair all kind of, you know…" He jogged his hands around his head. "Just go."
Myka got up and headed for the door, her feet instantly turning to ice on the cold floor.
"Hey, Mykes?" Pete asked tentatively.
"Yeah?" She harrumphed in annoyance.
He rubbed his freshly shaven face. "You sure you don't have the freak going on? 'Cause last night…"
She froze with her hand on the door knob, her head down. Her eyes followed the grain of the wood up the door, her heart reaching out. "There's nothing, Pete. It was just a bad dream." She spoke quietly and opened the door abruptly, slamming it behind her.
"When did all of this start, again?" Myka looked at the so-called disturbance in front of her. The dark cloud had dissipated to a quiet rumble with an occasional charge of static. The rest of the warehouse remained untouched. Claudia had filled her in over breakfast after the guys left. The fact that it affected no other part of the warehouse intrigued her as much as its development. No one could deny she and Helena were somehow connected to the mess.
They sat on the floor staring at the cloud overhead. Myka rested her chin on her knees while Claudia sat cross-legged like she had become accustomed to thinking over the situation for weeks.
"Best I can figure, from all you've told me, around the time you two started to lose the whatever you call it. It fluctuates from a moderate overhang to...well, like Steve said, mini-tornadoes. That was Thanksgiving. The day you two physically separated. It's definitely connected to your emotions and all. This is the closest I've been able to get in a while. Probably because you're here now."
"How exactly did you break in again?" Myka turned her head resting her cheek on her knees, smiling slightly.
"It was really easy, actually. I thought she'd make it a lot harder. The final code was your birthday. How cliché is that?" Claudia laughed then stopped abruptly, jaw dropping as the realization hit her.
Myka's smile spread with amusement over the changing expressions on Claudia's face. Claudia turned to stare at her amused friend, glaring at her as the realization smacked her ego down like a rolled newspaper on a fly.
"Uh, yeah. So, I feel really stupid right now. She made it easy on purpose, didn't she?"
"Sorry, Claud." She laughed. "She wanted to make sure someone could get in if they needed to. There was no guarantee it would be you. So, yeah, she made it easy on purpose. Good guess on the birthday, though." Myka bumped her shoulder against the younger woman, harder than intended, almost pushing her over.
"But why put a lock on it at all, then? Why not just leave it like it was?"
"What would be..."
"The fun in that." Claudia finished lamely. "Still. Man, that's just plain mean."
"She did it because she could. It's symbolic more than anything. It's her stuff, but nothing she has any real concern over. It's either a past she's forgotten or let go of, or just stuff she really doesn't care much about. Trust me. Anything she does value you'd probably have a tough time getting into. And yes, I know where and how and it will stay that way. I'll probably still need your help if it ever comes to that."
"Mrs. F. said your stuff is in there too. Did you know that?"
"Really?" Myka's face scrunched up in disbelief as she looked into the mass of crates and boxes. "Huh. Guess Mr. Kosan took that whole 'her stuff is mine' speech seriously."
"Yeah. Anything you left to be stored. Yours and hers. Mrs. F. figures neither of you probably really remember all that's in there. That's why Steve and I couldn't figure out anything from the inventory list and took the liberty of breaking in. That list is all pre-bronze. It doesn't even have the stuff she had brought over from London on it when you guys moved into the cottage. This brings me to another topic…"
"What?"
"The cottage?" Claudia leaned back on her arms looking straight ahead, ignoring the inquiring eyes looking directly at her.
"What about it? I'm not staying there. I'm here until she's back and that whole mess is cleaned up. I'm happy in my old room surrounded by you guys. I'd go insane by myself over there."
"Okay. Then I'll just leave that for lat…"
"Tell me, Claudia."
"It's not so much a cottage as a…uh…well…"
"Claudia…"
"Okay. They did a little remodeling when you moved out and it's more of a house now."
"So?"
"Well, you know…"
"No, Claudia, I don't know. What are you trying to say?"
"Just…" She sighed and rushed on quickly. "Okay, fine. I found out this morning all your stuff is arriving tomorrow and they're moving it all in there, 'cause the Atlanta thing is done and no one knows where you are going, and you asked about your job and…Maybe?"
"Ah-haa. Sooo, you think I'm going to stay."
"Don't you mean 'we'?"
"If she ever comes back. At least she said goodbye this time," Myka trailed off.
"Hey. No talking like that! She's fine and she will. Sooo, back to this mess." She waved at the section in front of them. "What are you going to do about it?"
"ME?" Myka sat straight up, daring the cloud to get bigger.
"Well, you're causing it, or it's causing you or whatever. And Artie is getting really annoying and Mrs. F. couldn't be any vaguer. Well, I guess she could, but she said help was on its way and I think that's you. HG would be nice too, but you're all I got."
"Gee, thanks, Claud. First you want me to move back into a house in the back and next I'm second fiddle."
"Not second fiddle, just not the package deal. The two of you have always been kind of one. The second fiddle doesn't sound good without the first fiddle is all I'm saying. I have a theory on some of this, but I'm not saying so don't ask."
"Okay. I won't ask. I've got enough to worry about." Myka stood abruptly, wiping the dust off her hands on her thighs.
"Where you going?" Claudia asked scrambling up off the floor after her.
"Inside. Where else? Gotta start somewhere. It might as well be into the eye of the storm. Besides, it's not like I have anything better to do right now. I can't exactly go for a walk down Main Street, Univille." She leaned over whispering in Claudia's ear. "You never know, someone might just kidnap me."
"That's not funny, Myka. She was serious about that or she wouldn't have agreed with the Regents to you being here."
"Well, she could have asked for my opinion first. And, it's true. I'm trapped in the warehouse, so I might as well start digging through all that and start looking for what else is trapped. Well, come on, you started this trip." She nodded her head to the section.
"I don't know if she'll let me in." Claudia shrugged, looking around suspiciously, expecting some sort of answer.
Myka stood straight, arms crossed in front of her. "Don't know until you try, and my gut says as long as you're with me, you're okay." She started towards section filled with crates on the other side of the open gate.
Claudia got up and tentatively took a few steps following Myka through the gate, anticipating the first zap. Nothing happened.
"What's with all the mess?" Myka spun around wide-eyed at the open crates, packing material strewn around the floor and wooden tops left standing against the crates.
"Yeah. Sorry about that." She kicked some of the material in front of her away. "Steve and I never got a chance to close up what we did get through. It was weird though, 'cause everything just stopped when we were in here. Then it started up again and she wouldn't let us in later to clean it up. You two must have been fighting or well, you know...something."
"Or something?" Myka narrowed her eyes staring directly at Claudia again. "Doubtful," she mumbled. "When did it stop?" Myka cocked her head.
"Uhm, let me think." Claudia looked up to the ceiling in thought, only to be met by the thickness of the cloud. "Steve and I came in here…Sometime before you called Pete at midnight. What was up with that anyway? Oh, yeah, Mr. Fabio…never mind. I don't know Myka. It's been really erratic." Claudia was getting frustrated with the timeline questions.
"Just like us. Doesn't matter. If I had to take a guess it was probably around the time she walked out. We broke apart. It may have been the final act that broke the tie to the warehouse you were talking about." She stopped in front of one of the crates deep in thought. It was part of one of Helena's many inventions. "Go get the hammer and a marker. We can start with what you guys did do and mark stuff as we go along. I'm going to take a look 'round and see if anything sticks out." Myka started kicking the material on the floor now, hands on hips, thinking to the 'shwish' of the material sliding across the floor.
"Uh, yeah. Okay. You sure I won't get zapped coming back? It's not as exciting as some make it out to be."
"Really, I think it's okay if I'm here. She's been pretty temperamental, huh?" Claudia looked at her strangely. "Your warehouse," Myka clarified.
"Yeah. I'll go get that stuff, but if I get zapped," she pointed a finger directly at Myka's chest, "You owe me a plate of chocolate-chip cookies."
"That's Artie's and Helena's specialty," she reminded the young woman morosely. "I still can't figure out what she does to them. I'll make you peanut butter with chocolate kisses in the middle."
"Whatever. I'm just saying…"
Myka wandered around the crates and further into the newer boxes, reading the few labels written on them. Some only identified with 'H.G. Wells' on the sides giving no indication to the contents. She smiled when she fell over a small crate labeled 'Christmas'.
"Hey, Myka, where are you?" Claudia called.
"I'm down here." She crouched down looking at the box more carefully.
"Did you find something?" Claudia asked, finding her on her knees running her hand across the top of the crate.
"No. Not really. I never knew she had any Christmas stuff. She's always been gone. This would have been our first Christmas together," she said sadly. "Think about it. That box is probably an antique dealers dream."
"Dude, it's not Christmas yet, and that's bad juju to talk like that."
"Whatever," Myka responded blank faced. "How come all the old stuff comes first and the new stuff is back here? That doesn't make sense." Myka looked back and forth, pinching the bridge of her nose.
"Have you seen the size of some of these crates? Easier to keep piling all of your crap back there. Where is your stuff?" Claudia looked further in, taking a few steps.
"I don't know. Can't be too important if I didn't know it's here." Myka shrugged, noncommittal. "Guess I didn't need it. Your stuff becomes less important when you start creating our stuff." She let out a big breath. "Let's take care of the mess first." Myka motioned towards the mess by the gate.
They started towards the crates Claudia and Steve had gone through until Myka stopped short, Claudia slamming hard into her back and nearly knocking them both to the ground.
"Geez, Myka, give some warning will you. I think I just broke my nose," Claudia complained against the hard shoulders. "Myka?"
She looked in the direction Myka was staring, softly rubbing her stinging nose. "Do you want to open it?"
"Yes, I mean, no." Myka walked up to the crate with great reverence, caressing the top. "Guess I shouldn't be surprised. She just doesn't talk about it a lot and I never push."
"Let's open it then." Claudia took the hammer starting to pry open the top. Myka grabbed her arm quickly, stopping her.
"No. It's not for us to open. Some things are just not meant to be intruded upon. Christina's stuff isn't mine. That crate is for Helena to open, and Helena alone. Come on."
"Aren't you even curious?" Claudia complained.
"Of course I am, but I already live with a ghost whether I want to or not. I don't need to open one up as well."
"What if it's the cause?" Claudia leaned against the crate, patting the side with her hand.
"I don't think it is. If it is, than it's only part of it and honestly, I don't think I'm the solution. I think Helena and I are the solution. It's us. Not me. Not her It's us. You said it yourself. Now let's close up and mark those boxes and see what else we find. Christina's crate remains unopened by any hand but Helena's alone. Got it?"
"Okay," Claudia relented dejectedly. She hammered the two nails back down that she had loosened. The cloud above darkened. She looked at Myka with raised eyebrows. "Still sure that's not part of the problem?"
"Oh, I'm pretty sure it is, but until Helena decides to face it, that crate stays closed. She needs to decide when to talk about it. I've tried."
"Talk about what?" Claudia asked curiously.
"None of your business," Myka snapped walking away from the crate in deep thought.
"Myka?" Helena croaked, seeing the shadowed figure in the corner. It startled slightly, got up and came into view, sitting in the chair closer to the bed.
"No. It's just me, Helena. She's not here, remember? I'm the best you get unless you want what's his name."
"Bloody hell," she swore at the pain radiating through her left arm as she tried pushing herself up on the bed.
"I wouldn't recommend that." Vanessa wrapped her arm around her torso and helped her sit up, adjusting the bed.
"No, I don't want that ass. I want Myka." She swore at the ceiling remembering the circumstances of her being there alone now. "So tell me, am I going to live? If this headache is any indication I hope not."
"That's really not a funny question, Helena." Vanessa laughed nervously sitting back down.
"Why is my arm bandaged?" Helena laid her head back with a tired sigh.
"Consider it a belated gift. You'll find that ugly scar reduced to a fine line soon and it should fade away to almost nothing in time. I asked them to take care of the one on your shoulder, too. I know you don't complain, but I've noticed the irritation and it would only get worse."
"Well, that explains why it stings." Helena closed her eyes. "It appears a thank you is in order. It was becoming a nuisance. Myka will have to make do without it."
Vanessa asked starting to examine her patient, shaking her head and chuckling. "I'm sure Myka won't have any complaints and will have no difficulty without its guidance. How else do you feel?"
"Miserable of course, but we both know I've been worse. I wish Myka were here."
Vanessa laughed nervously again, pulling out her stethoscope. Finishing her exam she sat back down.
"I know. So do I. Then I'd only have to go through this once and you're not the one that scares me."
"Through what? It doesn't look like I lost a hand." Helena gave a weak smile.
"No. Actually, Dr. Jordan believes that the surgery was very successful, and the nerves will reconnect well. With a little PT he's guessing at least an 80% recovery, probably more."
"Well then, so far this whole masquerade seems in my favor. What have you not told me yet? I'm infertile?"
"I doubt that. That remains another discussion for later. I don't have everything back regarding that situation." Her smile remained short-lived and she took a deep breath. "I'm not really obliged to tell you this, but I feel I need to. Helena, based on your previous history we developed an anesthetic protocol for you. That protocol was ignored without my knowledge and to put it bluntly, you died on that table. It took us almost five minutes to get you back."
Helena looked at her blankly, trying to comprehend what Vanessa had just told her. "So, it seems I've come back from the dead a second time. Lovely. Third time must be the charm. I rather preferred the first time when it didn't actually happen. Of course, that remains somewhat of a confusing paradox to me. I appreciate your honesty."
"Helena, Myka will want an update when I get back. I need you to decide how much you want me to tell her."
"I see. Well, it's a good thing I'm alive then, isn't it? I don't think you'd have stood much of a chance against her." A faint smile made it to her face in jest.
"Oh, don't I know it. I don't think any of them would let me out of there alive. I'd probably be found years later somewhere deep in the recesses of that warehouse." Vanessa smiled back. "I'm also anticipating a resurgence of your nightmares in epic proportions again, so I'm medicating you early this time. I don't like that Myka isn't here and I don't really trust what's his name out there to handle them well."
"We'll be alright. To be honest, he's handled them well enough on his own before, though admittedly not nearly as well as Myka. I'll be fine."
Vanessa raised her eyebrows in question, but didn't ask. She looked through the door seeing the hovering shadow beyond. "He's outside the door. I've told him he stays there for now. There hasn't been any news from the outside. I'll be leaving as soon as you've recovered enough to leave. I've said at least 24 hours. I'll let you get some sleep." She started to get up.
"Vanessa?" Helena reached for her hand, cringing at the pain in her forearm, stubbornly ignoring it.
"Hmm?" Vanessa stopped halfway out of the chair, grasping the proffered hand.
"You are as much a part of my family as anyone. Would you please stay with me awhile longer?" Helena's tired eyes pleaded.
The doctor sat back down, relaxing as best she could in the uncomfortable chair, and smiled at the closing eyes, holding the hand in her own. "Of course. I'd like that. For as long as you want. Now get some sleep. Doctor's orders."
Chapter Text
Myka jumped at the unexpected knock on her door, the book she spent more time staring at than reading flying out of her hands and landing on the floor with a loud thud. A fleeting smile crossed her face just as quickly, as an image flashed through her head; a perplexed expression aimed directly at her, head cocked to one side, a finely structured hand threading through long, dark hair, and a sarcastic voice in her head, Since when do people actually knock on our door? She glanced at the clock. It was late. She was just as startled when she opened the door.
"Vanessa…Is she okay? Where is she?" Myka couldn't get the words out fast enough through the blur of thoughts.
She leaned into the room, resting against the door frame. Smiling, the doctor asked quietly, "May I come in? We have many ears at the bottom of the stairs, soon creeping outside your door I am sure. They were not happy with my professional answer to their own inquiries, Artie included."
"Of course. I'm sorry. It's just…I..." Myka opened the door allowing the doctor free access, a million questions flowing through her mind at one time, before closing it with a distinct click, staring at the solid door before her. Myka turned as the doctor's voice, no, her friend's voice she thought, brought her attention back to the inner sanctum of her room where she'd been hiding since her arrival days earlier.
"I know it's late, but I didn't want to wait. When I left she was doing very well. Missing you terribly of course, but otherwise doing very well. She asked for you right off and I stayed with her until discharge. Before you ask anything, she asked me to give this to you." Vanessa handed her the slender, travel-worn envelope. "She gave it to me before we took off."
Myka greedily grabbed the battered envelope, single-mindedly tearing it open and backing up to sit on the bed, the messenger forgotten.
My dearest, sweet Myka,
How much I do love you. I find myself watching you sleep and oddly at a loss for words. I know you will be angry with me. You're angry now. Please, I beg you, try not to be so terribly angry. I know that is asking a great deal of you. If our positions were reversed…well, let's just say I know how angry you must be. You are well aware that there is more to this whole mess than my having a silly surgery. I want nothing more than to have you there with me. Be assured of that. As much as I have both loved and hated in the past to see those tired, worried, green eyes open for me on the edge of the bed, I will miss them. It's difficult to imagine not feeling the weight of your head beside me under my hand. This is not how I would have liked this to have unfolded. Your safety, though, is of the utmost concern to me. It always has been, just as I know mine is yours. Hence, why I know, without a doubt, you are very angry. So, before you become more irrational, and I know you already are, please do listen for just a moment and think logically with that occasionally over-analytical brain of yours that I love so much.
I know Michael well. He will use me in some way to finish this mess. I've tried to tell you in the most subtle of ways that you are exactly where I need you to be. Perhaps that is selfish of me. It always seems that I am the one ultimately ruling our life together. You have been and always will be my priority and Michael has promised me this. We will not be free of this mess until it is finished, and I will do whatever I need to do to finish this as quickly as possible so we can live our life together. One in which I am not the constant deciding factor. Michael and I are responsible for this situation and I will not risk you in resolving it. You know how resourceful I am. I eventually won your heart, did I not?
I love you more than anything in this world. Perhaps you are my greatest weakness, but you have always been my greatest strength. I will be home as soon as I can. I promise I will always come back to you. You are my home. Look at the stars and laugh. As always, I'll be right there making a right ass of myself I am sure.
"I am who I am and I have the need to be."
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince
See you soon,
-Helena
Myka read through the letter three times before crumpling it up and throwing it across the room with a growl in frustration.
"Why? Why does she keep doing this? Why can't she just…" Tears started to flow from tired eyes.
Vanessa eased down to sit beside her on the bed, taking her in her arms as she would a child. "Stop being who she is? Because, that's who you fell in love with. It's the same person that infuriates you for all the same reasons you love her. Love sucks, but it's also a driving force in our lives."
Myka sat up straight, sniffing away her emotions. Vanessa handed her a tissue from the side of the bed and picked up the book from the floor setting it next to the tissues.
"I can't answer all the questions that I know are going through that head of yours, mostly because I don't know the answers, but this is what I can tell you. First of all, the surgery went very well. Dr. Jordan was very pleased and anticipates at least an 80% return of function, hopefully more. We were in Germany, and no, I don't know if she is still there. I highly doubt it. Aside from HG, Michael is the best watch dog I've ever met. I can see why they were paired up. The best I could get about the situation is that Michael's team is planning to make a coordinated move soon. What I'm not supposed to say is what I think you have already guessed. She is the bait and she knew he was setting her up for it and willingly let him. We don't think he is yet telling the whole story. As I understand it, Michael has spent the best part of a year being followed and when you moved to Atlanta, you and Helena were noticed. You became an easy target. He is just as much invested in having 'his friends' as he likes to refer to them, taken out of the picture."
"Why is it her? Why not Michael?" Unable to breathe, Myka grabbed another tissue.
"He is. Think about it, Myka. The two of them together make a much more enticing target. The focus becomes one place, not two. They already have surveillance on three other locations and they want to strike at the same time and not risk losing someone through the cracks. They've been planning this for months. You and Helena were never an issue until you moved to Atlanta because the warehouse was a protection barrier. They couldn't find her let alone keep track of her and subsequently you. They likely would never have connected the two of you until you moved. She knew Michael was using her, but she didn't know that it was all his planning. The Regents gave the okay under the assumption that Helena was involved in the decision making. We were sent for the surgery believing she was the one requesting the push, not as part of Michael's plan."
"So, what? They're playing house again?"
"That's my understanding, but I guarantee you with two very separate bedrooms this time."
Myka scrutinized the doctor beside her.
"I know the history, Myka. Helena and I had a lot of time to talk about a lot of things. You have nothing to worry about. That woman is focused on one thing and that's getting back here to you as soon as she can."
"She always intends to come home. One of these days she's not going to. How am I supposed to just sit here, waiting like…like an abandoned, sad puppy?"
"She hasn't abandoned you and you are far from being a sad puppy. That's part of the deal you make with the warehouse. Do you think it's ever been any different for her? Okay, maybe just a little right now, but not much. Like I said, we talked, a lot. She didn't want to leave you like that. I suspect it's one of the hardest things she's ever forced herself to do. Even she didn't know it wasn't ultimately Regent controlled. All she figured out was that Michael made her the bait, and she's pissed. Now I know what you all mean by the Minoan glare. It's scary! I'm not saying she handled this the best way, but none of us ever does when you come right down to it. We just try our best and hope it all works out. She did the best she could. All she wants is to have a future with you. Trust me on that."
"We left the Warehouse because of that!" Myka exclaimed.
"I'm not sure anyone ever leaves the Warehouse. It sucks you in. It's always a part of you and vise verse. Some of us more than others. I think we may even lose a part of ourselves in the process. She's lost a lot, but she also knows how much she's gained. You're one of the biggies and she's not going to lose that."
Vanessa sighed, realizing she wasn't getting through. "Myka, she died on the table. Hold on!" Myka jumped off the bed. "She didn't ask me to tell you and she didn't tell me not to tell you. So, I'm going into the land of grey and I'm sure I'll hear all about it. I said she sees a future with you and it's one she really wants to have. You were the only one that trusted her before. Don't lose that now. You two have had more than your fair share of obstacles to plow through, and plow through them you have. I think it's safe to say you're going to have your fair share ahead of you. Every relationship does. That's why it's such much damn work."
They sat in silence. Myka jumped when Vanessa next spoke, bringing her out of her own thoughts.
"I'm going to go. I'll be staying here a few more days. Let me know if you have any questions or if you just want to talk, or not talk. If I have answers I'll tell you. I'll try hard not to bore you with more advice."
"Couldn't they do this without her?" she implored.
"I really don't think so. She wasn't that visible until you moved. I guess we all play our parts. Sometimes I think we're just chess pieces on a board, moving around, playing our part until we're trapped."
Myka laughed sardonically.
"Did I miss something?" Vanessa asked.
"No, not really. Helena argued something like that all the time. We had a really big argument over it once. Well, more accurately a fight. Claudia almost became a target for Helena's chess board. We didn't know she was in the room when we stormed in. I'm not even sure who it was that sent it flying across the room. Probably me."
"Why do you say that?" Vanessa leaned against the door, crossing her arms, curious of the answer.
"Despite what everyone thinks, she keeps her cool in the long run. Can even be cold." She rolled her eyes at Vanessa. "Kind of goes with the Minoan glare. She'll always have that distant spot where she can close all emotion off if she needs to - almost all. It's part of who she is. Sure, she erupts and walks out, usually over the stupid stuff, and I'm used to that now, but she cools down and comes back with a clear head and talks. Then, it's over." She sighed, shaking her head. "I, on the other hand, keep everything so tightly controlled, holding back, and I let it fester until it explodes. I keep feeding it, smoldering, and she patiently waits for me to burn out. So far we've made it work. We haven't killed each other yet." She smiled feebly. She narrowed her eyes, looking skeptically at the doctor. "You already knew that, didn't you?"
"Oh, I've been on the sidelines more than a few times. Just wondering if you knew. You're right. Somehow it works for you two. Try to get some sleep. You look like crap. Do you want me to update the audience on the other side of the door or do you want to do it?" Vanessa asked.
"Go ahead. It's not like there is much to tell anyway. You can skip the playing house with Michael thing. I've got other things to do." She grabbed her coat waiting for Vanessa to corral everyone else into the kitchen before sneaking down the stairs under cover of the many questions being thrown at the doctor at once. Vanessa deserved a really nice Christmas present this year.
"If you're not going to talk to Claudia, do you think you might want to give me a clue or two? After all, we both know I'm part of the problem, right? That's why I'm here!" Myka spun around with both arms sticking straight out from her sides, screaming at the ceiling obliterated by the cloud. It hadn't changed much since her arrival. Laughing, Claudia gave her morning report at breakfast every day; "Partly cloudy with a chance of an occasional outburst." Myka wasn't sure if Claudia was referring to her or the cloud.
Myka stopped turning when she started to get dizzy. "Great. Now I'm playing Julie Andrews in the opening of The Sound of Music. Only I'm screaming at a building not singing a song!" she yelled at the ceiling again.
Pete walked up behind her clearing his ear out with a finger, a pained expression on his face. "And it really echoes in here and you're really loud. Don't quit your day job, by the way."
Myka jumped and turned quickly, smacking his arm. "Damn it, Pete. Give a little warning next time before sneaking up on me."
"I wasn't sneaking and I would have except you were already screaming like a crazy woman and there is a lot of stuff on the floor I had to get around. Artie wants to know when you plan on going through those files and needs help with that book Claudia and Steve are tracking down. You did say you wanted your job back."
"I'm trying to fix his problem. How did you even get in here?" Myka leaned against a closed crate.
"I think your theory of your beloved presence let me in here. Don't think I'm going to try it alone. Looks to me like you're just making a big mess. Maybe you should give it a break. You're in here almost every night and morning and it's not really working. So far all you've done is find some really cool antique Christmas decorations. Love the tree topper by the way."
Myka slid down to the floor clasping her knees, resting her head back against a crate. "I've gone through almost every one of her boxes. I knew she had some cool inventions, but they're still pretty amazing. I'm not even finding anything in her personal belongings, except for a few journals I didn't know about that I really wish I hadn't found."
"Oooh, can I read them?" he asked teasing her, shoving her foot with his own.
"NO! I'm tempted to burn them. Some things I just really don't need to know. She either forgot about them or conveniently didn't add them to the pile she had me read. We sort of have this sort of agreement." She kicked her leg out at him, missing her target. There were enough journals floating around as it was. "Not sure I needed to know EVERYTHING."
"Ah-ha. Capt. Jack strikes again," he crowed.
"What?"
"Oh. Yeah. Well, think about it. She's kind of the female version of Captain Jack Harkness. You know - keeps on living, good looking, uses charm and powers of sedu…Okay, maybe not so funny right now. ANYway...So, you got over the guilt of going through her stuff, huh?" He noticed the crate she sat against.
"Not really. It feels weird." It was one thing to go through the inventoried warehouse crates, it was another to start digging through her personal belongings from another lifetime." At first Myka had felt guilty by intruding into a stranger's privacy, then she became oddly fascinated in learning about a whole different person from the one she knew. Either way, she still felt she was violating her privacy. If Helena had wanted to share this part of her life she would have. It should have been her choice. Myka had taken that decision away from her.
Pete looked at the mess up and down the aisle, crossing his arms thinking. He nodded his head towards her backrest. "Still won't open that one, huh?"
Myka looked up at the name above her head on the crate, grimacing. "No. I can't do it. "
"You've opened just about everything else. You even brought up her Christmas stuff. Claudia certainly had fun playing with that stuff."
"This is different and you know it. She lost her daughter and tragically so. Only she can open it." She picked up a stray piece of wood, picking at some of the packing material on the floor.
"You still haven't told her you want one, have you?" He pointed his finger at her.
"I've tried, but she just won't…I can't push it, okay? There's really no point, so just drop it." She smacked his hand out of her face.
"Okay, fine. But, I still think she deserves the option. Don't make assumptions." He threw his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay. What makes you so sure it has to do with her stuff?" He squinted at the boxes up and down the aisle.
"Huh?" She looked up at him from the floor, having still been poking around the detritus surrounding her.
"Well, it seems kind of short sighted to just assume it has to do with HG's stuff. I mean, think about it, all that stuff, most of this that is, came from Warehouse 12 and has been here forever. Don't you think there would have been an issue before? It makes more sense to me that if this whole disturbance thing is in some way connected to both of you, that whatever it is Mrs. Frederic seems to think is part of the problem, it would be something that both of you are somehow related to. Whatever is related to both of you connects the two of you to the warehouse and so on. Right?"
Myka sat unmoving with her jaw hanging open, staring at him blankly.
"What? Is there something on my face or something?" He rubbed his hand over his face, looking for some invisible future embarrassment. "Look, Claud told us part of her theory of you two and the warehouse, though I think she's leaving a lot out. It just makes sense, that's all. I can sort of understand the HG and the Warehouse 12 part, well maybe only Artie can, but maybe that's just HG and not her stuff."
"But none of this is OUR stuff. It's either her stuff or mine. Mostly hers."
"Well, yeah, but something, or things have to do with both of you. Maybe you need to work backwards in time, not forwards. 'Cause I hate to tell you, Mykes," he looked around at the mess before looking back at his partner, "this ain't working. You're just making a big ol' mess on the floor." He kicked aside some stray wood.
"Sometimes you amaze me, Lattimer. Why didn't you say something earlier? Help me clean this up." She stood up, grabbing the hammer from the floor. She shook the grit off of her hands, ignoring the black set in the cracks of her palms and fingers.
"ME? You made the mess."
"Oh, like I've never cleaned any of your messes up before. Take the hammer." She got up starting to repack the crates and holding the panels up for him. "Watch it! Hit the nails, not my fingers."
"Well get your fingers out of my way!"
After hammering the last crate shut, Pete rubbed his face again stepping from one foot to the other. "Spit it out, Pete. You have that 'I did something and you're not going to like it' look, or you really have to pee, so just say it already."
Myka ignored him, walking further into the section looking for her stored boxes.
"Well…it's kinda, sorta about Christmas."
"Unless you tell me my wife will be under that tree so I can strangle her for real this time, I don't want to hear it." She continued until she found some of her own boxes. "You got your Swiss army knife on you?"
"No, I can't promise that, but if that does happen I promise to hold Claudia back for you."
"Ha, ha." She turned expectantly, holding out her hand. "Knife?"
He pulled it out and thought better of it, pulling it away quickly. "Uh, before I hand you this, promise you won't use it against me. It's almost Christmas."
She narrowed her eyes, glaring at him. "Pete, what did you do now, and does Artie know?" She placed her hands on her hips still glaring at him.
"Yeah, he does and he made me come down and tell you. So, I'm just going to step back out of your reach." He took a big step away and rushed on with one big breath. "I invited your parents, they said yes and they'll be here for Christmas Eve and it's not that bad because my mom is going to be here too and so is Steve's so we can all suffer the parent thing together, and they don't want one of the cottages they want to stay in the main house near you." He quickly covered his head expecting her to start beating him. Not feeling or hearing anything, he carefully peeked through his arms to find her sitting on the floor staring into nothing.
"Mykes? Aren't you going to at least punch me?" He kneeled down in front of her. "Mykes? Are you there?"
"Why?" Pete barely heard the word. She turned her head towards him.
"Because it's Christmas and it was supposed to be the big holiday bash, remember? Christmas here. Everyone."
"No. WHY?" she screamed in his face. "Why isn't she here? Where the hell is she? Why does she do this to me? Why do I let her? Every year, Pete! Every year I've spent Christmas with my parents or took the holiday shift because she wasn't here. Why wasn't she here? Why wasn't she here with me? She's supposed to spend Christmas with me! She was always away."
"Uh, Mykes, I understand the anger thing and all, but can we maybe take this somewhere else? Not really a good place…" He looked up at the darkening cloud above. Static built overhead.
"Why, Pete? Just answer me why?" she cried.
"I don't know, but please don't get mad at me for what I'm about to do." He looked up quickly before picking her up, the knife falling on the floor, throwing her over his shoulder with little grace and ran through the gate just as a charge struck the spot where they had been.
"What the hell did you do, Pete?" Artie yelled from the deck when Pete dumped Myka on the ground, pulling her up the stairs behind him.
"Don't look at me. She's the one that decided to get all domestically pissed off in Area HG and cause a huge storm."
"So I see. Get her out of here." Artie looked over the warehouse watching the storm quiet down. "Did you tell her about your guest list?"
"What do you think set the fireworks off?" Pete complained, pushing Myka through the umbilicus.
"Well, that bloody well didn't get us anywhere. Do you actually have a plan here? This shouldn't be this difficult!" She threw herself in the chair.
He placed the coffee in front of her before she managed to grab it out of his hand. "We don't know how many there are. Just drink the coffee and calm down. I wish you'd stop drinking it. It's doing nothing for that temper of yours." Michael sat down calmly, crossing his hands together on the table.
"I told you two days ago there was a third. He's over my left shoulder by now, watching from behind that newspaper he is not reading. I highly doubt he can even read the print. If you actually included me we might be done with this mess of yours. Get the damned fools out here to pick them up so I can go home to my wife. This is a bloody waste of my bloody time."
"If you don't calm down it'll be a bloody waste of your bloody life," he seethed.
"Fine. Then just get me back to the warehouse and I'll hide there too until you get this mess cleaned up. Call me when it's over." He grabbed her, pulling her back down as she tried to stand up.
"Tomorrow. Everyone is in place for tomorrow. These three are peons, but with any doubt in their heads, and we know how easily peons spook, the major players will disperse in seconds. We don't care about these guys. It's the fourth one behind me with a gun aimed at your head I'm worried about, because the second bullet is for mine and I have no doubt his aim is true."
"You really think he can shoot straight? Twice? What is he waiting for?"
She'd leaned over the small beaten up table so close to his face she was spitting at him. Unflinching, Michael sat back calmly.
"Yes, I do. He is not one of our friends. He's part of the bigger picture I never told you about and he doesn't miss. I wouldn't have time to hit the ground after you fell over. Our friends are being used by bigger fish and they are stupid enough to think that they are part of the family. It's the bigger fish everyone is concerned about and why this is such a mess now. So please, sit back and have this lover's quarrel over with. I'd like to keep my head today."
"Damn it, Michael. You never would give me a straight answer and you never trusted me with the truth. I dropped you because of that. Did you know that? I knew I could depend on myself better than I was ever able to depend on you. I wanted out."
"And then they kept framing you. What did that get you?" He nodded at the braced hand. He looked at his Swiss watch, glinting off the sunlight. "You're just a pawn like the rest of us. With that said, you need to visit the hospital for some PT while I make some phone calls. Kiss and make up?" He smiled broadly.
"Tomorrow or I take things into my own hands. I am no longer a pawn and you're still an ass," she hissed at him, standing up and leading the way.
"Get your feet off my desk. Is she down there again?" Artie asked Pete, hitting the feet perched on the desk. He was tipping the chair back, arms across his chest deep in thought.
"She said she needed to think." Pete caught himself from falling out of the precariously tilted chair when Artie pushed his feet off.
"I wish she'd start thinking more about those files. Steve and Claudia are heading back with the book. Nice of Myka to finally join in on that one," he grumbled.
"Hey, it was one call to the library. If she hadn't worked there, she wouldn't know who to call."
"Well, if she weren't taking apart Area HG…why did you name it that? Now I can't get it out of my head."
"I don't know, maybe because it's kind of spooky? Maybe there is a lost alien that she never told us about in all that junk and it wants out. And because I think HG would think it's a hoot. If she ever comes back."
"WHEN she comes back! As I was saying," Artie looked up at the figure crossing the deck, "never mind."
Myka walked through the door, oblivious to the occupants, examining an object in her hands. Artie looked out the large window, noticing no change in the disturbance.
"Whatchya got, Mykes?" Pete spun around in the chair.
"Hmm? Oh, just a teddy bear I found in my stuff. My favorite Aunt gave it to me when I was a kid, but my parents would never let me play with it because it was an antique. It sat on top of one of the bookshelves in the store. I never thought that was very fair. It was my gift."
"Let me see?" Pete took the bear. "I don't remember this, Myka. All I remember is that big, scary, white thing."
"It wasn't scary! Give me back my bear." She grabbed it from him, examining it closely. "It sat on the sofa. I packed most of this stuff up when Helena kind of, uh, moved in." She glanced a furtive look at Artie knowing it was still a sensitive topic for him.
"Oh, you mean when she stayed and never left and no one told me she'd already been making regular…?" Artie turned bright red. "She was given her own room for a reason!" Artie blurted.
Myka looked away, turning red herself. Helena quickly ignored Mrs. Frederic's dictum and spent most nights with her, sleeping soundly in the four posted bed. She suspected Mrs Frederic knew she'd be defied regardless. She never understood if Artie's issue was the fellow agent part, the basic it was Helena part or that he was the last to know. She decided long ago it didn't matter.
"Just another complication," he finished under his breath.
"Let it go, Artie," Pete cut in. "So you were the last to know. Kind of funny your girlfriend was the one that pushed them together. Ouch!" Artie smacked him on the back of the head. "Come on, Artie, you have to admit it is kind of funny Vanessa knew before you."
"Get out of my chair and go home!"
"Mykes, let's go." Pete turned around to find her frowning at the bear. "Myka?" he called, waving his hand in front of her face.
Artie looked up over his glasses at her from his warm chair. "Something wrong?"
"Huh?" She pulled her attention away from the worn bear to see the two men staring at her. "No, I don't think so. It's just… just a funny feeling. I never really paid much attention to it. I just carried it around from place to place, but I never packed it away before. Pete, look at the bottom of his foot."
She handed it over. He looked at it quickly. "Yeah, it has a blue stain. Cool, it looks like a butterfly! It's an old bear with a butterfly tattoo on his foot."
"No, look closer. It's embroidered on the heel."
Pete strained his eyes, looking closer. "You don't really think…Come on, Myka, it's just a coincidence."
Artie took the bear. "I agree with Pete. I want you out of that section. You're letting your head wander too much."
Myka took the bear stomping out of the room. "Yeah, you're right. 'CW' embroidered on a Victorian age teddy bear in the world of endless wonders that has a weird disturbance going on over the HG Wells section. No reason for my mind to go a little off."
"Artie, you don't really think….Nah…it's just a coincidence. Right?" Pete raised his eyebrows, hopeful.
Artie shrugged. "It is the world of endless wonder." He gazed out over at the simmering cloud.
Chapter 13
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Steve closed his book shut and turned off the remaining light by the sofa, leaving his empty cup behind for the morning. He smiled with the last taste of the cognac infused milk. He'd indulged in the cognac, grabbing it from their cupboard at the last minute. Unable to sleep, he grabbed the book from the cottage, memories of silent late evening meetings on the porch when he or HG couldn't sleep. He stood now in the doorway looking into the living room trying to enjoy the soft glow of the white lights from the tree. Everyone had tried to make it a joyous event, but the hanging of each ornament seemed to bring on more sadness with each memory it brought. Hardest for Myka were the few antique ornaments she'd found in HG's crate, some obviously made by a child's hand and the tree topper she was sure Helena and Christina had made together. Underneath the tree lay everyone's gifts, many waiting to be unclaimed by the absent recipient. The teddy bear Myka had forgotten about and found in her own boxes of possessions sat among them at attention, an unexpected gift and a reminder of the past. Joshua had been the most vivacious one of them all, spreading his infectious laughter and childish excitement as best he could with the placing of his arms full of gifts under the tree. He had been gone too long this time. A feeling they all felt. They had even attempted a story time with Myka's father reading The Night before Christmas ending in an awkward silence until everyone followed Myka's example and simply headed to bed.
He heard the jiggling of the door knob and the click of the lock. He turned quickly to meet the intruder, but stopped short at the sight of a dark head bent over, covered with the sudden onset of snow, quickly melting in the warmth of the inn. He leaned against the door frame crossing his arms, grinning.
Not expecting anyone at this late hour, she startled, dropping the one small beat up carry-on, her hand unconsciously coming to her chest. A big smile crossed her face, brightening her eyes in the dim light.
They stood smiling stupidly at each other until Steve finally spoke.
"So, still breaking and entering, huh?"
"No key." She shrugged. "Need to exercise this new hand, you know." She smiled sheepishly.
"You could have called ahead."
"No phone," she answered with a sigh.
"Broke another one, huh?" He shook his head the slightest bit, rolling his eyes.
"In a manner of speaking. I didn't really want to take the time to get another. I was a bit preoccupied with getting here in one piece."
They continued staring at each other, Helena unsure of the reception ahead of her following her unexpected arrival and Steve amused at her rare show of anxiety.
"Good book?" Helena pointed to the book under his arm, procrastinating.
"I've never read it, actually. Sorry. You'll have to tell me." He held it up.
She smiled, blushing. "Myka's I see." She paused. "A bit more worn than I remember."
"Yeah." He cleared his throat. "I, huh, kind of read the inscription. Nice." He opened the cover, a devious curl reaching the corner of his mouth, reading the overly personal note she had written to Myka, grinning further at her discomfort. "It should be an interesting find for all the grandkids. Especially Pete's, since they'll be the ones trying to explain it to the others."
"Well, it wasn't exactly intended for the intrusive eyes of others." She shifted her weight to one hip, rolling her eyes slightly with embarrassment. "I'm surprised she let you take that particular book," she added indignantly.
"Oh, she doesn't know - yet. She just said 'go nuts' when I asked if I could borrow a book."
"Perhaps we should just keep that between the two of us then." She held out her hand, taking the proffered book, still red-faced. "I do believe you'll find another copy in the other room."
A quiet ease settled over them in the quiet of the inn despite her agitation.
"Myka?" she asked uneasily, looking at him into his twinkling eyes.
He jerked his head towards the staircase. "Your old room."
"Alrighty then." She forced out a full breath of air, gaining courage.
"Follow me. The stairs have shifted. Claudia and I figured out a new route." He headed to the stairs, turning this head slightly, waiting.
"Shall we?" She picked up her bag following his steps, noting the slight alterations to the silent route she'd mapped out in her mind long ago.
"You okay?" he inquired, halfway up the stairs.
She paused slightly in their ascent. "Yes. I'm…okay. It's over."
They stopped at the bedroom door. Helena hesitated. Steve pulled her to him in a tight, one-armed hug. "It's not locked. She hasn't had a reason to and her nightmares have been a little more frequent." He clucked like a chicken quietly, flapping his elbows, nodding towards Claudia's room. Helena chuckled softly, shaking her head.
"Ever our mother hen. Right. Yes. Well, here goes." She blew out another breath.
"Welcome home," he whispered in the echoing hallway on his way to bed.
"Yes. Home." She looked up and down the familiar, quiet hallway, seemingly unchanged, smiling to herself. "Most definitely home."
"HG?" He stood at his door, hand frozen on the door knob, not looking at her. "She's going to be mad at you."
She sighed deeply before squeezing through the door. "I know."
The dream never went away. It was always the same. She'd wake to find HER next to her again. Snuggled closely, wrapped around her for a security blanket, seeking protection from her own tortured dreams. In her dreams she would wake from the dream, fooling herself that it was actually true; warmth invading her soul, warming the fractured heart, and then finally waking to reality and the biting, cold air of the dark room. She'd started turning the heat up in the room to avoid the shock of the cold air. Artie would have a fit if he knew how warm she kept the room at night.
It was Christmas. She wasn't going to let herself be fooled. Someone would wake her early to a long day and it would be over, soon to lead into yet another night of lonely, fitful sleep just to wake once more to reach into the cold space beside her. Another day of unease and emptiness.
She pushed at the pillow again attempting to roll over. It didn't move. She was hot. She must have turned the heat up too much. She threw her flannel top off to some unknown destination, too lazy to get up and adjust the heat. I'm still asleep and still dreaming. I wish I could stop this. I hate the half-sleep stage. She shoved the pillow once more, harder.
"Darling, please stop. It's been a very long, difficult journey to get here in time," the stubborn pillow muttered.
"No. I'm still dreaming," Myka said aloud to the surrounding walls, shaking her head trying to dislodge the dream.
She almost fell off the bed, jumping when Helena rolled over, wrapping her arms and legs around her tightly, pulling her back from the edge of the bed and preventing anymore movement. Turning her head towards the manifestation, she stared into dark brown, very sleepy, smiling eyes, reflecting the dim light from the small lamp on the corner of the dresser.
"I'm not a dream, unless you are a dream, and after the past few days, I am fairly certain that you are not a dream." Helena inhaled deeply, smiling with the heavy release of air. She closed her eyes and adjusted her head on Myka's shoulder mumbling, "You have no idea how wonderful you smell. Now please, go back to sleep. You can yell at me in the morning."
Myka stared wide-eyed at the ceiling lit in the soft glow from the dresser lamp she knew she had not left on. She felt the strong clasp of arms and legs around her gradually relax. Helena fell back to sleep, dry lips parting slightly. A foreign, soft, warm air caressed her neck. If it was a dream, Myka was going to enjoy it and cry about it in the morning.
"I can feel you staring," she mumbled into the pillow.
"What?" Myka breathed, surprised.
"You heard me. I can feel you staring. I assure you I am quite real." She raised her head slightly, crossing her left arm under her head, eyes still closed. She made a fruitless attempt at ridding the few stray hairs tickling her nose with her right hand.
Myka brushed away the question forming in her mind and reached her hand over instead, brushing the hair back to see the thin face, running her finger down Helena's nose to trace her lips. She found her finger lightly caught between teeth momentarily before being let go to continue its path down Helena's chin and back up around her jaw and cheek.
"I'm mad at you," Myka whispered.
"I know." Helena slowly opened her eyes.
"You didn't tell me the truth." Myka's hand continued down the smooth, lean back, physically testing its solidity.
"I tried my best. You couldn't hear me." She pulled herself over Myka's warm body kissing her softly, settling comfortably between the welcoming legs wrapping themselves around her own.
"I'm still mad at you." Both hands sought out to squeeze firm buttocks before lightly scrapping her finger nails up Helena's back and across her shoulders. Using her thumbs, she rubbed out the growing creases in the forehead above her. "What makes you think I even want you in my bed?"
"I'll correct you just this once. It remains our bed. Though, I do recall ours being significantly larger than this one." Helena continued placing soft kisses haphazardly across the bare skin. "Anyway, we can rectify that slight detail in the near future I hope. Yes?"
"It's over at the house along with everything else. It doesn't seem like you're that upset with the smaller accommoda…" She was silenced with a long kiss before a wet trail continued up her neck. "I am so mad at you," Myka breathed, her hands continuing to explore the solid form resting on her, belying her words.
"I know," Helena whispered in the ear above her lips before gently biting its lobe. "Do you think we might just, perhaps, continue this particular conversation later?" She buried her nose deep into Myka's neck inhaling deeply. "I have more important things on my mind at the moment."
"No. Get off of me. You can't just show up and expect…things to be normal." She tried to protest.
Helena raised herself slightly, smiling into the green eyes. "You're frowning. That little wrinkle in your forehead is showing. I would think by now it was well established that there is absolutely nothing normal about us, darling. And you really do want me here." She continued exploring Myka's neck, ignoring the false protest. "From what I heard earlier, you were dreaming about me."
"We really need to work on that ego of yours. What makes you so sure? You don't deserve to be here. I don't want you here." Myka tried to wiggle her way out from under the body that had overcome her senses.
Helena raised her head again, amused. She let her hand creep lower, nails dragging along Myka's side and over her hip on its way between them, crawling beneath the flannel bottoms, making her final argument. She smiled smugly at the sudden gasp Myka tried to squelch when she found the profuse wetness, exploring its source.
"My point, exactly." Helena smirked.
"That's just a natural reaction to stimu…"
Helena leaned in to cover the argumentative mouth, exploring thoroughly and enjoying every flavor she had missed and worried over.
"That's still my favorite method of hushing you. Let's see how quiet you can remain and for how long, shall we? It is Christmas morning I believe, if I've been able to keep my days straight. I promised you I will always come home. I love you," she whispered, dragging a finger lightly along Myka's jaw. "I promise you can yell at me later."
Myka gave in, digging her hands in the long, thick hair that had invaded her dreams for weeks. Helena was right. It was Christmas morning.
Some things never changed, Myka thought, dozing under Helena's full weight. The building was silent except for the occasional creak from the heater. Of their own accord, her fingers sketched an invisible picture on Helena's back and shoulders. She reached out to the side catching the corner of the down comforter to pull it over them with only partial success. The extra heat in the room didn't make it necessary, but it was cozier. Abandoning the failed attempt, her hands continued their previous artistic endeavors, stopping short on Helena's left shoulder blade. She traced it back and forth confused. The jagged scar she'd become so intimate with was gone. She looked to her left at the arm confining her. The scar on Helena's forearm was reduced to a fine red line. It would fade with time.
Myka smiled. Not only was Helena on her way to being ambidextrous again, which had been expertly demonstrated, but apparently some cosmetic surgery had occurred as well. Vanessa's doing she knew. Helena could be vain at times, but she never once complained over those scars. Vanessa fussed over the forearm more than Helena ever did. Her hands, distracted from her canvas, stilled as she dozed off again, content for the moment under the steady breathing of the increasing weight upon her that she had no complaint about today.
"Does anyone know when she got here?" Claudia shuffled in blindly, but beaming, reaching for the coffee. "Jinxy, I really hope you have ear plugs hidden somewhere or they are so moving into that house tonight."
"Merry Christmas to you too, Sunshine!" Steve exclaimed brightly. "She broke in sometime after midnight. I couldn't sleep and was reading down here. Caught her in the act on my way to bed. Just about gave the old lady a coronary I think."
"You little rat fink. You had ear plugs and let the rest of us suffer! Just for that I'm going to tell her you called her 'the old lady' again." Claudia drank half the cup of coffee hoping for a quick caffeine surge, before filling the cup again. "Oh, and look what the cat dragged in." Claudia laughed gesturing with her mug and pulling out another as Abigail blindly flopped down in a chair, dropping her head on the table with a heavy thud.
"Really? I know you all tried to tell me what it was like, but seriously? I thought you were exaggerating! That was unreal. They are moving out tonight!" She lifted her head as Claudia approached. "Give me that coffee," she growled grabbing the mug.
Pete came scooting in, sliding across the floor in his socks. "Hey, Merry Christmas! She's really here! HG is home. She's really here! When did she get here?"
"I take it you had ear plugs, too?" Claudia glared at him across the table.
"Well, yeah. One learns to keep those things handy at all times." Pete cocked his head evaluating the two women grumbling at the table. "Oh, ouch. You didn't. Abigail I get, but you, Claud?"
"Yeah, me. I was too happy HG was back to pound on the door. Not like that ever stopped them before. I'm glad Joshua and Steve's mom took a guest house. Oh, crap." Her hand suddenly stopped halfway to her mouth begging for another caffeine hit. "Please tell me Myka's parents are deaf. Uh, they aren't going to do the Christmas thing and...?"
The squeal from above caused them to jump. Steve was the first bolting up the stairs, laughing.
"Emily Lake strikes again." Claudia laughed, close on Pete's heels, leaving a dazed Abigail behind to comprehend what just happened.
"Bloody hell!" Helena shouted, finding herself on the cold, bare floor from a sound sleep. "Who the bloody hell are you, and what the fuck are you doing in our bedroom?" she exclaimed at the sight of the two strangers, frozen in shock, staring at her naked on the floor. She found herself quickly covered by the down comforter and having to dig herself out from underneath it, still flat on her bottom.
Myka just as quickly scrambled to sort out the tangled sheet and wrap it up around herself after throwing the comforter over her shocked lover on the cold floor. "Uh, mom, dad, I think you should…"
"Honey, why is there a naked woman on your floor?" Myka's mother asked completely bewildered.
"Mom..."
"Who the hell are you?" Mr. Bering was coldly staring at Helena on the floor.
Steve caught himself on the door frame as Pete slid by, back tracking to a stop beside him, grinning hugely. "Hey, HG! Glad you finally made it. It's about damned time. Things have been really boring without you."
"Merry Christmas, HG! Hey, you too, Myka!" Claudia was jumping up and down trying to see over the mass of people in front of her.
Abigail squirmed her way between the excited and amused friends, grabbing hold of Myka's mother's arm. "Mr. and Mrs. Bering, why don't you come down to the kitchen for some coffee? Claudia was just about ready to make a new pot and Steve," she elbowed him in the side as he stood smirking at the scene, "was getting ready to start making his special Christmas breakfast. Everyone else should be joining us soon."
Helena looked up at Myka's horrified face from the floor, back to the strangers, and then back at Myka. "Mr. and Mrs. Bering? Mom and dad?" She dropped her head on her now raised knees. "Oh, shit."
Abigail managed to pull Myka's parents away, turning to the rest of the crew still laughing in the doorway at the scene. "I said breakfast was being made and we know I'm not making it!" she said sternly.
"Yeah, right," the three said unanimously, giggling. Steve started to pull the door shut, but not before Pete got his last dig in.
"Someone's got some 'splaining to do, Lucy."
Helena fell back on the floor, laughing. "I must say, Myka, I've had some awkward introductions to my lover's parent's in the past, but I must say this was by far the worst. Hey!" A pillow smacked her flat in the face.
"It's not funny! Those are my parents and I just had my worst nightmare come true."
Helena was off the floor pulling the comforter behind her and throwing herself at Myka, still laughing. Pushing Myka flat on her back before rolling over with her, Helena tangled them further in the covers, holding Myka tightly against her. "You've dreamt of this before; your parents walking in on you with, apparently, an unknown female lover, on Christmas morning? I know your nightmares, dearest, and I don't recall that once being one of them." Helena kissed away the oncoming protest. "Is it just me or do we seem to have an inordinate number of interruptions to our sex life?" she whispered in her ear.
"This isn't funny, Helena! And we weren't having sex, thank God." Myka struggled to get out of the tight hold.
"If I had not been soundly sleeping, I assure you, we would most definitely have been exploring the more intimate side of our relationship. You do have to admit, it is just a tad bit funny." She quickly caught a short kiss before getting pushed away.
"You were the one that snuck into my room in the middle of the night. Why didn't you lock the door?"
"I didn't realize I needed to. Our family finds a way in regardless whenever they wish. And why is it, I'm the one that always ends up naked on the floor?" Helena pulled her back, still smiling with her amusement at the awkward situation.
"Because, you're the one that turned into a mush and likes to fall asleep on me. You should have locked the door." She pushed away out of Helena's strong hold, struggling to free herself from the confines of the covers. "I need to go talk to them."
"What did you do with my pajamas?" Myka gave up looking for her pajamas and furiously searched through the dresser drawers for something suitable to wear.
Helena stopped laughing, watching from the middle of the bed, wrapped tightly in the comforter.
"Myka, please stop. After all this time, you haven't told them?" Helena asked seriously, stopping Myka's progress. "I assumed, incorrectly it seems, that you had. I'm not criticizing or making any judgments here, and perhaps I should be just a bit hurt, but after all this time and everything we've been through, how is it that you have not told them anything?"
She got out of bed to dress as well, unsure of herself as well as where any of her clothing was. She dropped the pile on the floor she arrived in during the night. She certainly didn't want those. "I did wonder why I never met them or why we never saw them, but I know you have an uneasy relationship as it is, and honestly, I've never been in a situation in which family relations were required, so I never asked." Giving up on her quest for clean clothes, she sat back on the edge of the bed, still wrapped in the comforter.
"I don't know. I didn't know Pete made them part of his big Christmas bash until Artie made him tell me a week ago! You weren't here…"
"And now I am," Helena nearly whispered. Silence hung heavily in the room as they both stared at the floor. She looked up forlornly at Myka, who suddenly found the ding on the door frame from a rock more interesting than the floor, trying to rub it out. "I finally make my way home from being used as a mouse for the cat so we can finally have Christmas together for the first time and I've once again become Artie's complication," Helena admitted, feeling beaten.
"Please, don't think that. It's my fault, not yours." Myka hugged her tightly, kissing the top of her head. "I love you and love that you are here, but I really need to get downstairs." She kissed her quickly and went through the door.
"Then why do I suddenly feel like the proverbial third wheel?" Helena asked the room. She sighed and looked in vain around the room.
"Myka?!"
"Oh, for crying out loud. I'm a creature of habit, Helena. Have you not figured that out after all this time? You've been pinching my clothes forever. Top left drawer. And I'm taking you shopping," Myka shouted through the door from the hallway.
"I hate shopping and so do you," she yelled back, frustrated.
Myka pushed her head through the door. "I know and I don't care. My parents are here and you need to wear something to bed. You've lost weight again and mine are not really going to work."
"Darling, I hardly think your parents will be entering our bedroom unannounced again anytime soon. I'm sleeping naked next to you as you will be me. My body is experiencing severe withdrawal. I've slept in clothes for far too long already." Helena laughed pulling on a tee shirt, rummaging for her sweatshirt in the lower drawer as Myka shut the door on her. "Where is my sweatshirt?" she called down the hallway.
Myka stopped halfway down the staircase, sighing. Heading back up, she stopped at the top of the stairs cringing at Helena's unabashed, half-dressed state. "Please, just go back in the room and wait. All of your clothing is at the…house."
"House?"
"Uh, yeah, we'll get back to that. Right now," she rummaged through her drawers and handed her an old sweatshirt, "I hope you have something for the bottom half." She wrinkled her nose. "You really need a shower. You smell like sex and have that fresh fucked look." Myka looked her up and down close to laughing now.
"Then you'll have to join me, because unfortunately, darling, so do you. As much as our family is oddly used to that particular presentation, and at all times of the day, I don't think it makes for a very good first impression for your parents."
"Uh, I'd say all bets are off on the first impression," Myka said wryly.
"Myka, it's not my fault you kept me a secret. And whose parents walk into their adult daughter's bedroom like that?"
"Parents who last saw their daughter going to bed early, alone, and thought they'd wake her up for Christmas morning, much to the amusement of the rest of our family. How'd they know you were here anyway?"
"I would guess how they've always known; by the sounds emanating from this room. Steve did catch me breaking in last night. He was kind enough to lead me through the new silent route up the stairs. Myka, we really do need to shower first and I need some real clothes."
There was a knock on the door.
Helena raised her eyebrows in surprise as Myka turned to open the door. "Someone's actually knocking on our door?"
Two hands pushed their way through the open door from the side holding a stack of clothes. "Uh, yeah, so, we can kind of, um, hear everything downstairs. You might want to consider turning it down a notch. Sounded like you could use these, HG. I think it's all parent approved."
Myka grabbed them. "Thanks, Claud. Um, is everything okay? Can we maybe take a shower first?"
"Uh, yeah. It's a little awkward, but that's really nothing new when you guys are around, so yeah, I think that shower would be a really good idea considering what I saw. Just make it quick and don't go into phase two. Not sure how long Abigail can keep up the small talk and Pete's mom just got here, so you know how that can go and we really want to get to open some presents sometime today. Of course, some of us started unwrapping their gifts a little…"
"Good-bye, Claudia." Myka slammed the door shut, throwing the lock.
Myka glared at a laughing Helena, handing her the stack of clothes on her way to turn on the water. "Stop laughing. It's not that funny."
"Oh, darling, it's outrageously amusing. It's just another story to tell the kids."
"What?" Myka asked over the sound of the warming water.
"Nothing." She followed into the bathroom.
Myka stopped at the top of the stairs. Pete was sitting on the bottom stair waiting, playing with a paper Christmas decoration Claudia and Joshua had made for the table. She slowly descended sitting down next to him.
"They're in the office." He handed her a large mug of coffee. "Thought you could use this. I think the kitchen was getting a little uncomfortable for them, even with Abigail trying to direct the conversation and well, mom wasn't really helping. I think she was kind of confusing them more and let's face it, my mom knew, and yours didn't."
"Thanks," she mumbled, draining half of the mug. She sighed heavily, placing her head in her hands, bracing her elbows on her knees, procrastinating.
"Are you okay?"
"I don't know, Pete, what do you think? My parents just barged in on me and my naked, female lover, who, by the way, was born in 1866, that they didn't know I had and have lived with for, oh, almost three years now, and the rest of my so-called family seems to think it's hysterical. I'm guessing I've been better."
"You guys weren't, you know…in the middle of…'cause it was pretty quiet from down here compared to…"
"No, Pete! We were sleeping! Helena had no idea what was going on, beyond being tossed off the bed from a sound sleep, for the second time in my memory, when my parents scared the crap out of me barging in crying 'Merry Christmas' expecting their little girl to wake up all happy. We're lucky there was nothing within reach for her to throw at them. Why did you invite them?"
"Why didn't you tell them?" Pete asked simply.
"Arrgh!" She pushed her forehead into the palm of her hand, rubbing the spot between her eyes. "I don't know. It never came up in conversation?"
"It never came up in conversation? Aww, come on, Myka, I thought they knew. I wondered why they never asked about her. They did sort of have that blank expression on their faces whenever she came up in conversation, which now that I think about it, you did a really good job of avoiding. Huh. The years you had Christmas with them 'cause HG was out playing 007. It's been how long now? After everything you two have been through together, you never told them? How did you hide all of that?"
"Lots of practice? You know that. So stop lecturing me."
"I'm not lecturing. I'm just trying to understand. I just…I know you've never had the easiest of relationships with them, but it's kind of a kick in the gut to HG, and them. She's a pretty awesome person, when she's not trying to blow the world up and all, that is. I guess it's time for you to grow up and share a little of your life with them. You know I'm here for you, but the real person that's here for you is upstairs. No matter what, she's always come back to you and she always will. Even when you're a jerk."
He stood up, the decoration a mashed mess. "Guess it's time for you to go face them. Don't worry. They love you. They're here, aren't they? They'll get it. Just maybe don't mention the 1866 part." He punched her gently in the shoulder. "Go get'em, Tiger. Defend your lady's honor."
"Yeah, right." She stood up behind him. "I really have to do this, don't I?"
"Well, I don't think it's really much of a secret now. An 'I'm sorry' might be a good start."
"Pete's right, Myka," Helena spoke from the top the stairs. "It's always a good place to start."
"How long have you been standing there?" Myka asked watching her slowly descend to stand before her in her thick socks.
"Long enough. You do make it ever so difficult for me when I'm forced to agree with him."
Myka gently took Helena's face in her hands looking deeply into the brown eyes, unable to decipher their emotions. She'd shut them off. Despite the amusement and her denial, Myka realized she was hurting. She kissed her gently, placing her forehead against the one in her hands. "I'm sorry, Helena."
Helena smiled sadly. "I know. I think I understand. I'm sorry, too."
"I guess we have a lot to talk about."
"Yes, we do, but not today. Please? It's our first Christmas. It took me five days to get here thanks to Mother Nature. Let's allow ourselves this one day of reprieve."
"It hasn't exactly been peaceful." Myka chucked nervously.
"From what I remember, family Christmas's rarely are." She tapped the tip of Myka's nose before caressing her cheek. "I can't claim to ever giving thought of having to meet a lover's parents before. Well, at least not formally that is."
"You are a rogue." Myka stood back, picking the coffee mug off the table she'd set it on.
"No. I used to be a rogue. I allowed someone to tame me and she must now face her parents." She took Myka's coffee cup, taking a healthy draught. "How can you drink this?" She smiled, eyes bright with mischief. Leaning forward she whispered in her ear, "It's so much better when it is yours."
"Come with me?" Myka pleaded softly.
"Ahhh, no," she said handing the coffee back. "This you must face alone. I certainly have no intention of entering that room without a proper cup of tea first. Come get me when you are ready. I also recommend you not mention the 1866 part. I don't wish to be accused of being a cradle robber. Now go." She gave Myka a healthy swat on her butt walking towards the kitchen.
"That behavior is on hold," she called to the retreating back.
Helena stopped at the door smirking. "Oh, I don't think so, darling. Claudia will want us out of that room tonight and back home where we belong. I anxiously await that move. I suspect she's already put fresh sheets on that big bed of ours."
"Saucy wench!"
"I concur, but perhaps you should pay closer attention to whom is standing behind you when making such accusations. I do need that tea."
Helena shut the kitchen door behind her as Myka slowly turned around to face her father standing in the doorway.
"Shit."
Notes:
Phew….two-thirds of the way to go.
Chapter Text
"Does everyone around here swear this much?" Myka's father accused, standing in the office door, hands on his hips.
"Uh, I guess when things get kind of tense, which I've done a really good job in doing, yes. Dad, can we just go in the office, please?" Myka motioned towards the door.
Myka waited for him to turn around before letting out the air she'd been holding. She could hear the cheers of warm welcome from the kitchen announcing Helena's return. Reluctantly, she entered the one room that held so many memories yet to be reconciled. Its own particular smell attacked her senses with her first step into the room, causing her to steady herself with a grip on the door knob after she shut the door. She wasn't sure those memories would ever be reconciled.
"What kind of woman goes around slapping my daughter's behind?" Her father turned on her startling her from her memories.
"What?" Myka's mother sat up in the chair surprised.
"Not exactly the first question I expected, but if that's where you want to start…" Myka swallowed hard, turning away from the door to face the room. "The same kind of woman I've seen that slaps yours, dad, when no one thought we were around." Myka saw her mother blush and look away. "That was actually a compliment, mom. I don't go around letting just anyone touch my ass. Sorry. I mean behind. Now, can we maybe start this over?" she pleaded, looking to the ceiling for help.
He looked away, crossing his arms and sat down hard on the sofa, the springs creaking slightly. "I'd also say one that everyone else in the world seems to know except us. Are we some sort of joke to you all now? Even that Jane woman knew who this HG person was. All of your friends are probably laughing at us now. Everyone but you has talked about her since we got here yesterday. You could have said something then! What kind of name is 'HG' anyway?" he grumbled.
"It's her initials. It's just kind of a nickname they all call her, and she'll probably insist on you calling her that, too. Honestly, I didn't think she was actually going to be here. We were separated on Thanksgiving. She...I haven't heard from her since. She just…showed up last night. And those people are my family too, and they didn't know I never told you about her. They're probably not really happy with me right now. If anyone is being laughed at, dad, it's definitely not you, it's me," she ended with a caustic laugh.
"So, who is she?" her mother asked. "Are you, you know…that way? Why didn't you tell us? Why such a big secret?" Hands clasped tightly in her lap, the woman's eyes pleaded, full of questioning pain.
"This is kind of more of what I was expecting," Myka mumbled. Unable to look into those eyes any longer she started pacing around the area rug. "Mom, dad, I'm sorry. I know I should have done this a long time ago. A really, really long time ago. So can I just talk first? Maybe there will be fewer questions in the end and we can just enjoy Christmas. I received a really, really special present last night that I'm not sure I deserve right now, and I've pretty much ruined it. So can we get this over with and maybe we can salvage today? I'd like to get back to enjoying it. Hopefully with you."
"Fine," her father said gruffly after a moment of awkward silence.
Myka took a deep breath and looked away, rapidly firing out words. "Okay. So, first of all, I'm really, really sorry. I should have told you a long time ago, but when have I ever told you about anyone? She wasn't meant to be some big secret. It's just kind of a habit. A really, really bad one right now, but let's face it, we never really talk about this stuff. So, yeah, I'm really sorry. I never meant to hurt either of you, or her. I guess I just thought someday I'd tell you. So, guess what? Today's the day." She chuckled harshly, rubbing the bridge of her nose, fighting the oncoming headache.
"Is this funny to you?" her dad almost yelled.
"Warren, let her speak." Her mother put a hand on his arm.
"No, dad. Trust me, funny is the furthest thing from my mind. I'd say downright horrified would be more accurate. I think my morning has been just as traumatic as yours!" She ran her hands through her hair, shaking her head clear of the images from the morning. "Probably more," she added under her breath.
"That's an understatement," he muttered under his own breath.
"Dad, please?" She paused. Seeing she had his attention, she continued pacing, setting off in another whirlwind. "So here's the cliff notes version. We met a few years ago through work. In London. She came to work here with us for awhile…sometime after. She spent another year or so…not working here, sort of, and then came back and…" Myka looked up at her parents to see two confused faces looking back.
"This really isn't easy to explain. A lot of our work is involved and…it…I…she..." she stumbled over her words. Throwing up her arms in frustration, she flopped down in one of the remaining chairs, blowing out a burst of air. "I love her, okay? Madly, completely, head over heels, like I never thought possible." She laughed weakly at the cliches. "That's basically it. That's all there is to it. I love her. We've been together for almost three years now, in one way or another. We live together, we eat together, we argue together…and boy can we fight together…we laugh together, we sleep together and everything else that goes with that…"
She stopped suddenly, eyes opening wide, face burning. She dropped her forehead into her hand staring at the floor muttering in shock, "Oh, God. I can't believe I just said that. Did I really just say that? Not that this morning left that in doubt, but I did. I really did. Oh, my God. I really did actually just say that." She sat in disbelief.
"Sweetie," her mom broke the silence, smiling warmly and resting a hand gently on Myka's violently bobbing knee. "I think we get the idea. Myka, it's okay."
"Mom, I don't know if I'm a lesbian or not. I really don't care. All I know is I love her. Just her and she just happens to be a woman. I can't imagine loving anyone else. I've had relationships with men, but we never really talked about them either. I even thought I loved one before and I never told you about him." She stopped and looked at them both, relaxing slightly. "We're making a life together. The house in the back, the biggest one, is ours. I haven't been staying there because she's been gone, but all of our stuff is there. It's just not as lonely here with everyone else around. We tend to migrate back here when the other is away for a long time. These people are our family, too."
"I never told you we moved to Atlanta. She had a really close call on a risky assignment and we were considering leaving our work." She laughed at the absurdity of it all. 'Confessions of the absent daughter'. "I worked in the library. Her hand was badly injured and she needed to work with a specialist there. When she opted for a second surgery, I couldn't be with her. She ended up in Germany. I hated it. She's been gone for a month and she finally got back last night. Kind of big surprise to wake up and find out your dream isn't a dream at all. We haven't even had time to talk yet. And…and it's Christmas and I'm so, so sorry I never said anything before. Really, it was never a personal affront towards you."
They all sat in an awkward silence not looking at each other, Myka trying to catch her breath.
"Please, say something," Myka pleaded.
"What else have you never told us?" her mother asked quietly.
"I don't know. Probably a lot of things. That's kind of how things work with us." She sighed deeply, rubbing her forehead against the now very present headache.
"I thought we'd gotten beyond that? Why do you think we came out for this Christmas thing?" her father asked sadly, looking at the floor.
"Well, it's not something that changes overnight, dad. Let's face it; we don't do the family thing very well. It was just easier. It just so happens that this was a really big thing and I should have told you. I'm sorry. How many times do I have to say that today?"
Silence crept over the room again. An occasional voice or laugh reached them from the kitchen. Her father coughed, bringing her attention back to her own drama.
"Does she have a name? I mean, besides 'HG'?" her mother asked quietly.
Myka laughed slightly, unable to hold back a fond smile. "Yes. It's Helena. Helena Wells."
"A Brit too, huh? Seems to have a pretty foul mouth," her father complained.
"Yes, she's British and under the circumstances this morning, dad, I think you'd have had a few choice words coming out of your mouth, too, if you suddenly had two strangers unexpectedly barging into your bedroom. I'm pretty familiar with your many expletives. You actually got off easily in that department. I think you'll find that she actually has the charm and manners of…of a true Victorian woman, almost."
"Does her family know? About the two of you? Were we the only ones kept in the dark?" her father asked gruffly.
"She doesn't have any family. We, all of us here are her family," Myka stated simply, trying to avoid any further discussion.
The silence hung heavily. It always did in this room. Myka shook her head, trying again to clear the memories resurfacing. She hated this room. It seemed like a prison. One in which she was sure she was being condemned in by her parents.
"Look, dad, I…"
"Now just you hold on." He stopped her in mid-sentence not really sure he knew what he wanted to say. He leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands together. "What's done is done. I can't say it doesn't hurt us and it's not really very respectful to her…HG. It's not the who or the what, Myka." He waved his hand off to the side. "Eh, who cares about that stuff? As long as she's a good person and you make each other happy. It's the not telling. I'm sitting here listening to my daughter tell us she's in love with someone and didn't feel she could share that. A parent wants to share the good things with their kids and help them through the bad. They want their kids to be happy. We've lost years of being able to enjoy your happiness and the person who is responsible for it. We missed out on helping and supporting you with this 'close call' thing. We worry about you and we want to worry about her too. Maybe you'll understand when, if, you have kids of your own. Everyone here knew but us, and that hurts. Especially on Christmas. Not to mention it could have saved us all a lot of embarrassment this morning. Poor girl, having to meet your parents like that. But, you're right; this family thing doesn't change overnight. Habits are a hard thing to break. We're trying to break this one."
Her father stood up facing his daughter. "We love you, even if I haven't done the best job in showing it. We were excited that Pete invited us for Christmas. We wanted to be here. Why else would we have closed the store? Your mother thought he was a special person since he was doing the calling. Guess that's not the case." He chuckled.
"Pete is a special person, just not in the way you thought. He's kind of more like the annoying little puppy special."
"You're strong and independent and we're proud of you, even if it means carrying a weapon. I guess I can see why you kept it to yourself. We're trying, Myka. Is it so much to ask for you to try, too? We're here, aren't we?" He paused, thinking in the silence. "So, do we get to meet this person everyone seems so happy to have back or not? I for one want to meet the person that finally managed to keep your attention, and apparently your ass too." He laughed, her mother snickering behind him.
"Dad!"
"Woo hoo!" Pete screeched from across the kitchen running to slide to a halt in his now dirty socks, picking up HG and swinging her around in his arms in an air constricting hug. "It's about time you got here. Why didn't you tell us? Would have saved everyone a lot of trouble this morning, not to mention you wouldn't have ended up naked on the floor-again."
"Who ended up naked on the floor?" Artie asked shaking the snow off his hat and wiping the fog from his glasses, Vanessa beside him. He looked up putting his glasses on. "Oh, you. I should have known. Now what did you do?"
"Me? I did absolutely nothing wrong. I merely came home. And no fun trip that was, I assure you."
"Where's Myka?" He looked around the kitchen. "Where are her parents? What did you do to them?" He turned to her narrowing his eyes into slits.
"Why is everything always my fault?" Helena asked eyes wide.
"Artie stop." Vanessa walked over wrapping her arms around the thin body. "Merry Christmas, Helena. He's missed you. He's an old worry wart."
"I know, " Helena said into the solid shoulder, accepting the open warmth gratefully. "Our little game."
Vanessa stepped back slightly looking her up and down with a medical eye. "You're too thin, but glad to have you back…home did you say?" She gave her a questioning look.
"Yet to be decided. I got in late last night. We have not, um, had much time to actually talk," she said softly near the taller woman's ear.
"That sounds about right." Vanessa grinned, looking around the kitchen. "So where is breakfast? And where is Myka?"
"Food's over here." Steve waved, chef hat sitting precariously on his head; an early gift from Claudia.
"Myka and her parents are having a little, uh, what would you call it guys?" Claudia looked around with a strange expression on her face.
Pete snickered behind his hand. "Uh, yeah. So, Myka apparently never told the parents-aye about the wife-aye." He said pointing at HG. "You missed all the excitement."
"What you mean is complication," Artie grumbled in his coffee. "Oo, ah, oh, what are you doing?"
"Stop it, Artie." Vanessa poked him in the side one more time.
"Telling you, Artie, we are surrounded by violent women." He eyed HG across the room glaring at him, tea cup frozen in mid-sip. "Ahem. Did I say violent? What I mean are forth right, strong, independent and upstanding citizens of…"
"Put a sock in it, Pete. You're just digging yourself deeper." His mother smacked the back of his head. "It appears that Myka never told her parents about HG and is in the middle of what I am sure is a rather uncomfortable discussion. Perhaps a little coming out party you could say? I don't think my arrival helped much since I, of course, assumed they knew too."
"Not nearly as exciting as this morning, though," Claudia sung.
"I'll ask one more time. What did you do?" Artie glared at HG.
"I did nothing!" She declared, still defensive. "I was sound asleep. Myka is the one that threw me on the floor when her parents barged in on us."
"Like that's never happened before. At least there were no rocks involved this time," Claudia muttered under her breath, receiving a light swat on her head from HG.
Vanessa started laughing. "Oh, no. They didn't? I'm sorry. It's not funny, but it really is."
"Well, Myka didn't find it nearly as amusing as I did. Although, the real issue at hand is rather tricky I'd say."
"Myka never told them," Artie mused, rubbing his chin. "Huh. I assumed she had too. She always went there for Christmas or stayed here because you were gone. This should be interesting. Well, that explains why Myka avoided talking about you and why they seemed so confused when you came up in conversation."
"We all thought they knew." Steve handed plates to the new comers.
"Myself included," HG added sadly, playing with the ring recently returned to her left hand, finishing her tea. "Bit of a surprise for me."
Claudia broke the ensuing silence. "So where have you been? What happened? And what's with this Michael dude that Myka keeps complaining about?"
"Well, Claudia, as Myka and I have had little time to talk," Pete snorted in the background earning a cold glare, "I'd prefer to hold off on that conversation until she and I have had time to deliberate."
"You mean argue," Claudia translated.
Helena rolled her eyes. Claudia was probably more accurate.
"It is Christmas after all. I am sorry, but I didn't really have any time to get presents for anyone. I had planned to arrive three days ago and hoped to get a day with Myka, but the bloody weather kept interrupting my plans. I ended up ditching the last flight, rented a car and drove out of the damn storm to get here."
"HG, I think you are our present." Steve set another cup of tea in front of her and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned back into his welcoming warmth as he kissed the top of her head.
"You mean you won't tell us anything?" Claudia whined. "What about the bionic hand? What did Myka say when she saw it?"
"I'd hardly call it a bionic hand. It simply works better than it did, which is saying a great deal. Hopefully, if all goes well, I will be writing with it."
"Aren't you supposed to be in a brace?" Vanessa asked slyly.
"Yes. Well, there is that." Helena shrugged. "Must have forgotten in all the excitement this morning."
"What did Myka say when she saw it?" Claudia asked again.
"Myka hasn't actually examined it yet. We've not really had a lot of time to talk this morning. It's been a rather irregular morning if you recall and I arrived quite late last night, completely exhausted. I'm certain I was asleep before my head hit the pillow."
"Oh, it sounded like she had a lot to say about it," Pete snorted.
"Oh, I so did not need to be reminded of that. It was bad enough the first time," Claudia complained.
"Well, you did ask," Steve commented, drinking his tea, eyes bright looking over the table at a now smirking Helena.
"As far as everything else, I am sorry, Claudia. Myka and I have many things to discuss and a great deal has happened over the past few months. But, it can wait. Please, everyone, I'd prefer to just enjoy the day being back with my family. I've missed you all so very much."
"You don't know the half of it," Claudia said into her hand.
"What's that?" Helena turned her head to the now quiet woman looking off in the other direction, chin resting in her palm.
"Uh, Helena, would you come here, please?" Myka called from down the hallway.
"Oooo. Time to meet the parents…" Pete crooned.
"Oh, Pete, stop that." Jane swatted his arm. "One day that'll be you."
He stared at her, rubbing his arm.
Helena stood slowly, clutching her tea tightly.
"Helena?" Myka stood at the kitchen door, all eyes trained on them from their various places in the kitchen.
She looked at Myka quickly before focusing on the floor. She laughed nervously. "Suddenly I find myself quite anxious."
Abigail smiled at her. "That's because this time it matters."
Helena looked at Abigail perplexed, and swallowed oddly. "I've never actually done this before."
"Helena, please?" Myka asked nervously.
"Well, here we go then. Wish me luck." She turned sharply and stiffly following behind Myka.
"Who was that and what did they do with my HG?" Claudia asked.
"That, Claudia," Artie spoke up trying to hold back a smug smile, "Is a nearly 150 year old HG Wells, who despite all of her skill, brilliance and experience, for the first time in her life has to meet the parents."
Vanessa turned her head sharply at his amusement. "Artie stop. Show a little compassion."
Pete laughed. "Yeah. Myka's wife is meeting the parents. Oh, to be a fly on the wall in that room."
"Pete, you stop, too," Abigail admonished. "I don't care who you are. That's a really big deal."
"Yeah, especially when it's taken this long to happen," Claudia snorted.
Myka came in from the kitchen, pushed away from clean up duty.
"Got kicked out too, huh?" Steve smiled.
"Yeah. The mommy brigade took over. Where is everybody? Where's Helena?"
Steve lifted his head from his book, feet warming by the fire. "Oh, let's see...Pete, Joshua and Claudia, went to the Pete cave. Artie and Vanessa are 'out for a walk'." Myka raised her eyebrows at that. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Your dad walked off in the opposite direction." He chuckled. "I sent HG upstairs to lie down. She started to nod off in mid-sentence. I'm not sure how she's still standing on two feet at this point. I still can't believe it took her five days to get here. Your morning wasn't exactly the perfect way to wake up on Christmas. No stress there. It was amusing, though. She's still complaining about 'breaking her bum'. How exactly did she end up on the floor again?"
"None of your business!" She glared back at his infuriatingly smug grin.
"It certainly sounded like it was a nice surprise." He continued to grin, ignoring the glare. "Glad I still have ear plugs."
"Ha, ha. I guess it could have been worse," Myka mused.
Steve laughed out loud. "Yeah. I could have NOT had ear plugs. Ouch." He rubbed his arm. "I deserved that. So yeah, I guess so, but I'm not really sure how."
"My parents could have stormed off or ended up hating me, or her. Well, I guess the jury is still out on that. At least they are trying to talk to her. And Helena is tolerating, however stiffly, mom's over compensation by trying to hug her every five minutes. One more grandkid comment though, and she may knock her down. I think mom and dad are still trying to digest Helena's comment over the electric blanket they gave me when I tried to explain to her what it was for. Ignore the fact I had to explain it."
Steve laughed again. "Yep. That was pretty classic HG. 'I thought that was what I was for? Warming you up has never been a problem before.' Of course, her asking you if that meant she didn't have to resort to borrowing your pajamas to stay warm when you were away anymore really struck home for them."
"Yeah. It's going to be an adjustment, that's for damn sure." Myka sat on the sofa, staring at the teddy bear. Helena's continued glances at it had not gone unnoticed. Myka thought it odd she hadn't mentioned it considering the attention she'd given it. She glanced over at Steve. "Whatcha reading?"
He lifted the cover of a worn book. "The Time Machine. I've never read it. Not my usual read, but it's not bad. Scored some points with HG." He smiled.
"That's not MY book, is it?" Myka blushed, remembering she gave him the okay to raid their library the night before.
"No. I got it from the office. Why?" he asked straight faced.
"Oh, no reason. No reason at all." The growing flush rose from her neck to her face.
"You do know I know you're lying, right?" He smiled now.
"Uh, well, yeah. So, none of your business. I'm going to go check on Helena." She bounced off the sofa abruptly, burning.
"Sounds like a good idea. I'll just sit down here with the mommy brigade." He chuckled opening his book back up as she headed up the stairs.
She squeezed through the door quietly, smiling at the sleeping form sprawled across the whole bed. Shaking her head, she stripped down, and wiggled her way under the covers. Helena instinctively moved over to her own side of the bed in her sleep, mumbling an unintelligible story into the pillow. Myka snuggled up closer, draping her arm over the warm body. Sharing the same pillow, she buried her face in the back of Helena's neck. Oh, the temptation, she thought smiling joining the dreams of her partner.
The quick jerk next to her head woke Myka up. A hand came up again swatting the tickle in her ear from Myka's breath. The arm came up all together next, wrapping itself around its head, protecting the annoyed ear from the intrusion.
Myka lay back propping her head up and watched the production, grinning. Helena had begun to twist into another pretzel in her sleep. The right leg had dropped off the edge of the bed with her foot sticking out from the edge of the covers. As if her feet didn't get cold enough, Myka thought. With that thought, the left leg bent back, cold toes brushing against Myka's knee. The woman would always have cold feet. Myka carefully took the foot, placing it under her own leg. The temptation to stroke the now easily accessible soft inner thigh almost physically hurt. Her ear left alone, both hands tucked up under her chin as she rolled to her back, shifting her left leg to a more comfortable angle. Helena turned her face towards Myka, lips parted in sleep. Now that she thought about it, the only time her lips weren't parted was when she was angry or deep in thought.
No longer able to resist the temptation, she snuck her hand under the covers to trail her fingers down from Helena's sternum between the curled hands and around her belly to rest the palm of her hand above her navel. This was where she could feel the pulse of her life. This was where she'd watch her aortic pulse when Helena pushed the covers down to her waist in the summer.
"I can feel you staring. I'm still here. Promise," Helena mumbled, eyes closed.
Myka froze. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?" Myka remained unmoving.
"Not really. Enjoying your touch. I've missed it." Helena worked her hand under Myka's arm, resting it on her hip.
"Is that so?"
"I'm sure if you move your hand a little lower you'll find out how much." Helena smirked, her eyes still closed.
Myka sharply drew her hand away from Helena's abdomen and grabbed the hand resting on her hip. "My parents are downstairs," she chastised.
"That didn't seem to be such a problem when they were down the hallway this morning," Helena mumbled into the pillow again, rolling over onto her stomach.
"Helena!" Myka pulled away completely.
"I'd much prefer exploring myself, but I'm too tired to enjoy it."
"Even if I do this?" Myka leaned over nibbling the back of her neck.
Helena groaned, biting the pillow. "You are so evil!" she complained. "And yes, I'm still too tired. I feel like I could sleep for a week." She turned her head to look at Myka, eyes half closed, a fond smile appearing. "Do you have any idea what I went through to get here? I was supposed to be here three days ago. I actually gave up a flight to get a hotel room just to shower and change. No matter. It never got off the ground."
"No, I don't. We haven't really had a chance to talk. Your efforts are appreciated. I never did say thank you." She stroked the soft skin of the arm whose hand lay beneath the pillow.
She grunted in response and grinned broadly. "I'd say you succeeded well enough without words. We have a rental car to return by the way. No bloody way was I sitting grounded in yet another airport. Drove out of the beastly thing instead." She started to fade off.
"I'll let you go back to sleep." Myka started to get up, but Helena held fast to her hand.
"Nooo. Please don't." Helena lifted her head slightly with her complaint, letting it fall back into its protective cushion groaning. "Ugh. That required far too much energy."
"Do you have any idea how funny it is to hear you whine? Nobody would believe me if I told them. Claudia is the only other person I know that has heard you."
"And my mother. Claudia doesn't count. I think I was drunk at the time," she continued to talk into the pillow, eyes closed again.
Myka leaned over the pillowed head, speaking softly. "Effected, yes. Drunk, no. And yes, she still counts. She just won't tell anyone."
"I'm not sleepy, just tired." Helena pulled Myka back on the bed curling back up next to her. "It has been nice, this whole family thing. Though, I wouldn't mind having had more time alone with you. I've missed you. How much I have missed you...smelling you. I hated not being able to talk to you, knowing you were sitting here completely in the dark. We've had too much of that already." She held on tightly in the silence, absorbing the warmth laying along side her.
"Do you realize I have not had a family Christmas since…" She lay back thinking. Her face fell. She rolled back into Myka whispering, "Since before Christina died."
"I know. I was wondering." Myka kissed the top of her head. "How are you doing with that?"
"Sad. Odd, though, it hadn't occurred to me until just now. She loved Christmas. What child doesn't? Of course I've thought about her; her ornaments on the tree and the topper, Pete's never ending childishness or Claudia and Joshua for that matter, and that bear. She had one just like it. I gave that to her on her fifth Christmas, I think. Yes, definitely her fifth. She was in a right foul temper one day while I was working and managed to spill the ink on my desk. His foot ended up with a blue butterfly as a result." Helena peered up at her. "What's wrong? You just froze on me?"
"Oh, nothing. Nothing that can't wait. Why don't you come downstairs? Artie and my dad want to have a big movie thing with It's a Wonderful Life now that everyone is here. No one was really interested last night. We can still snuggle and if you fall asleep, so what? We can make an early night of it and go home alone."
Helena sat straight up, all fatigue forgotten, a look of terror on her face. "Snuggle? In front of your parents? Your dad?"
"Seriously? You had other carnal thoughts just now with them downstairs, but you're afraid of snuggling in front of them? Don't tell me you, of all people, are afraid of my parents?"
"Myka, it is just a tiny bit intimidating. I've never had…What exactly are your parents to me? In-laws? I'm not sure I truly understand the proper etiquette in this situation. It's not one I've ever encountered before."
"That's good, 'cause I sure as hell don't know and I'm pretty damn sure my parents don't either."
"Still, it is very unnerving." She flopped back down on the bed.
"Oh, my god. I can't believe you're afraid of PDA in front of my parents. It doesn't bother you with anyone else."
"Myka, they're all family. Our physical relationship grew naturally around them. They're Pete and Claudia, who I remind you, has seen far more of our intimate interactions than I like to remember. Steve and Vanessa. I sometimes think she knows more about our sex life than we do. And as painful as it is to admit, even Artie. You can't just drop me on your parents and expect me to…They saw me naked in the middle of the floor!" She pulled the pillow over her head, hiding momentarily before pulling it away with both hands slamming it across her hips. "They are your parents, Myka! They know we…don't just hold hands! They certainly had that made quite clear first thing this morning."
"So does everyone else! Repeatedly! Helena, at my age I'm pretty sure my parents know I'm not a virgin. Aren't I the one that's supposed to be freaking out over this? It's not like we're planning on a make out session in the corner chair, which, by the way, I've been told is not as dark as we once thought. Let's just go claim our usual spot on the sofa with your cold feet in Claudia's lap. Trust me, if my parents survived this morning, and so did you, I think we'll be okay."
"We sit in opposite chairs." She sat up straight, covers falling to her waist.
"No, we don't. Now put some clothes on. You have two choices; be teased by everyone else for being afraid of the in-laws later, with no mercy for weeks on end, running into years of 'remember that first Christmas', which we'll be hearing every year anyway, or ADAPTING to the situation like you do so well in this century." Myka supplied a sarcastic smile.
"Point taken. But if your mother makes one more grandchild comment…" She caught the clothes Myka threw at her.
"Coffee or tea?" Myka asked from the side of the bed.
"I would prefer tea."
"One or two cups?"
"One, of course. It doesn't taste right if we don't share."
"Point taken." She kissed Helena's forehead as she pulled on an old sweatshirt. "See you downstairs, and wear heavy socks. Claudia isn't as addicted to your cold feet as I am."
Helena sighed pulling on her jeans, a hole in the left knee. "It was so much better when I didn't have parents to contend with," she said to the deaf walls surrounding her.
Artie and Vanessa had already claimed the sofa, pushing the "youngsters" onto the floor. Steve's mom sat on the floor between Steve and Claudia, already harassing them over not sharing the popcorn. Myka squeezed in next to Claudia with a thick blanket. With a quick, uneasy glance at Myka's parents, Helena took her place on the floor laying against Myka and finally succumbing to Myka's subtle encouragement to lean into her body.
Twenty minutes into the film, her head resting comfortably in Myka's lap with Myka rubbing her head, Helena was sound asleep to the munching of popcorn and Jimmy Stewart in the background.
"I want chocolate with coconut, too." Helena mumbled in her sleep creating a few snickers from the room.
"I thought she was more the Pooh Bear type with the honey pot?" Claudia whispered to Myka.
"My parents are right over there, Claudia!" Myka hissed.
"If they didn't hear you this morning like the rest of the world, then they didn't hear me now," she countered back.
"But I did," Steve's mother chuckled on the other side.
"So did I," Steve added, shoving her from across Claudia and his mom's lap.
"Children!" Artie grumbled.
"Hit the pause button, Pete," Steve spoke up. "You want some help getting her home to bed, Myka?"
Myka looked down at the sleeping woman in her arms. "I hate to wake her up."
Steve stood up walking around the sofa to the other side. "You and I both know if she's in the mumbling zone she's not waking up if we do this right. Just spend the night here. It's still snowing and it's easier." He said more quietly, trying not to smile, "We also know her mumbling isn't restricted to movies."
"Uh, yeah. Good point," she whispered back as Steve picked Helena up before Myka could say more. "So I guess this is good night. Merry Christmas."
Helena mumbled more as Steve readjusted her in his arms. His face turned white. "Steve, what's wrong?" Myka cocked her head.
He swallowed, shaking his head. "Nothing. Let's just get her to bed." He turned quickly heading to the stairs.
"Lock your door," Claudia sing-singed to Myka's turning back.
"Learn to knock," Myka sing-singed back.
"What's wrong?" Myka asked Steve as he carried his baggage up the stairs. She shot ahead to open the door.
"She's talking to Christina in her sleep again. You want me to get the Doc.?"
"No. She's gotten better. Most of the time nothing dramatic happens anymore. At least not in a long time. She has worse demons now."
"Okay. Well, if you need me…" Steve stood reluctantly at the door watching Myka throw the comforter over her fully clothed companion.
Myka stroked the babbling cheek. She turned her head towards the door. "It's okay, Steve. She'll be fine. I promise. If we need you, you and the rest of South Dakota will hear it."
"Yeah, well, okay then. Good night and Merry Christmas." He shut the door, standing in the hallway listening to the sounds of Jimmy Stewart and Clarence.
Chapter Text
Myka's eye's fluttered open and she smiled with a happy sigh, squirming deeper into the warm body behind her. Helena curled around her, right arm draped over her protectively, her hand clasping her own. She burrowed her head deeper in the down pillow feeling the arm beneath it. Slow steady breaths warmed her shoulder. She basked in the moment. It was rare that they found themselves in this position. Helena was never as comfortable. Her torso was just enough out of proportion to Myka's that often she had to rest her head between Myka's shoulder blades in order to fit her hips and legs in synchronicity. She never complained, but more often than not she ended up with a stiff neck or moving away in her sleep.
"Mmmm." Helena's warm breath turned into a soft, open kiss against her shoulder as she hugged Myka closer. "Why are you awake? What time is it?" She brushed her cheek against the warm, bare skin, rolled her neck loose and started placing small kisses along her spine.
"I don't know. I just sort of woke up. I've been lying here basking in you." She squinted at the clock. "It's around ten-thirtyish. Nightmares?"
"Hmm? No, why?" she asked sleepily.
"You fell asleep downstairs pretty quickly and it was snowing, so Steve carried you up. He said you were talking to Christina in your sleep. He was worried." She turned her head looking over her shoulder for any signs of distress on the drowsy face.
"Is that why I'm still in my clothes?" She frowned into Myka's warm back. She released Myka's hand with a gentle squeeze, unconsciously stroking the soft forearm. Leaning over Myka's shoulder, she rested her cheek against it and mumbled, "I talk in my sleep often. You make a point of telling me, usually because I've woken you. I don't remember any dreams." She sighed sadly. "I hope she was happy."
Myka took Helena's hand back, squeezing it. "I'm sure she was. But he's right; you do have nightmares the same night often enough."
"Hmm, true. Not this time. Let's hope it stays that way." They snuggled in silence until Helena looked over Myka's shoulder at her. "Myka? I can't feel my arm. How is it this always happens to me?" She moaned, rolling onto her back.
Myka lifted her head off the pillow, taking the weight of her head off Helena's arm, releasing it. "First of all, you stretch it way out into weird positions. Second, Vanessa said it might be related to your injuries on that side. It doesn't happen to the right side. And third you have a protective brace on."
She tried to tug her arm back, paralyzed from her shoulder. "Damn. I think I need some help. I can't move it."
Myka sat up laughing, looking down at her distressed bedmate. "What do you want me to do about it? Just sit up."
"Well, I don't seem to be able to move it on my own at the moment, do I? A little help, please," Helena growled in frustration, dragging the dead weight with her as she sat up.
Myka picked up the paralyzed arm guiding it to the middle of the bed. Helena fell heavily back on the bed, groaning.
"Ooo, ah, ooh. Oh, yes...there's the tingle. I really do detest this part. Why does this never happen to you?" she griped. "Alright, fingers are still there. That's good news under the circumstances. Still can't move the bugger. Ouch! What are you doing?" She glared up into amused eyes.
Myka picked the heavy arm up slightly, letting it fall softly to the bed, laughing harder. "Getting the circulation going?"
"That's not really helping! I can think of better ways to do that. Just leave it be. It's resolving quite well without your help, thank you." She started rolling her shoulder, gritting her teeth.
"That's not what you said when you wanted me to move it for you." Myka rubbed it gently.
"STOP. It's fine now…mostly." The appendage in question lifted. "Damn, damn, damn." She sucked in air between her teeth with the pin-prickling sensations crawling up her arm. "I think that's good. Still tingling." Myka made another move towards her arm. "Don't touch it!" she snapped fiercely.
"Where are you going?" Myka turned around as Helena rolled out of bed, her arm partially mobile.
"Nowhere. You don't think I'm going to sleep in my clothes do you?" She pulled off her top with her right hand and began to undo her jeans, leaving a trail of clothes to the bathroom on her way to brush her teeth. She peeked out the door, her jeans still attached to one foot, smiling with a foamy filled mouth. "You weft da yight on." Leaning against the door frame, she kicked her jeans off into the middle of the room, one leg pulled inside out.
Myka sat on the bed smiling, arms around her legs and chin resting on her knees, contemplating the face. "Abigail thought we might think about trying to start tapering the lights. We could start with a smaller lamp, then some night lights around the room. Maybe even work our way down to just one."
Helena stopped her toothbrush in mid-stroke, panic crossing her face in a flash. She turned slowly back into the bathroom finishing. A distinct "No" was the only thing Myka heard from the bathroom after the sound of splashing rinse water hit the sink.
Helena crawled back under the covers, wiggling back into Myka's arms pulling the one over her middle and intertwined their fingers. She brought the hand to her lips, kissing Myka's knuckles, replacing it close to her stomach. "I can't lie back on my left arm again. Sorry. But, I don't want to let you go either," she said through a yawn.
Myka knew the door had slammed on the discussion. She scrunched her face in silent frustration, closing her eyes. She cleared her head with a slow easy breath, counting backwards. Abigail warned her it may never be an option and she would meet resistance to the suggestion.
"We could switch sides, you know." Myka smiled, changing the topic, knowing what the response would be. She twisted her leg around Helena's, wrapping her feet around the cold ones to warm them from the trip to the cold tiled floor of the bathroom.
"Won't work. Never worked well in the office. In hospital I had drugs," she muttered, closing her eyes and yawning.
"You really can't sleep on the left side, can you?" Myka asked, fascinated.
"Nope."
Myka leaned over her shoulder. "Your ever evolving language skills amaze me."
"Yup. The urban dictionary was a welcome app on my phone. I found it very interesting and rather handy. Oh, I need a new phone. Jane already rolled her eyes at me so don't start lecturing me. I don't understand why it remains such an issue. They are the ones putting me in those situations after all. I would think one phone for my life is more than an even exchange. At least with you sort of working here and the situation I was in, we don't have to pay for this one."
"Broken or lost this time?" Myka rested her chin on the exposed shoulder.
She rolled her head slightly, long enough to smile at Myka. "That would be, yes."
"Yes? How is 'yes' an answer?" Delicate fingers ran lightly up and down Myka's arm.
"Just is. Perhaps, we can get it tomorrow when we take your parents to the airport. I need to return the rental car as well."
"You want to get a new phone on the day after Christmas?"
"Point taken. Can we just order it online then?"
"Sure. So back to this other thing. Why do you need to sleep on the right side?"
"I don't really know." She leaned back against Myka, looking at the ceiling. "I've never thought about it. That's just where I'm naturally inclined to be and am most comfortable." She stared at the ceiling thinking with a frown on her face. It cleared suddenly. "Growing up the door was to the right of the bed. Christina's door was also to the right, as was my door at Warehouse 12 and also here. It would appear it's the location of the door. It was the nearest escape route, or in Christina's case, to her."
"But it's not on the right at home or here. It's at the foot of the bed. Why didn't I move into your room? The door is on the right side there." Myka glanced at the now locked door, frowning.
"Hmm. On the rare nights early on that I fell asleep on you when we talked, I was always on this side as well. You're here with me. I feel more secure, perhaps?" She kissed the hand back in hers, again. "It's probably just a habit now. Oh, I could probably learn to sleep on the left side, but what would be the point? We're quite comfortable like this. Aren't we?"
Myka nuzzled the back of her neck inhaling deeply, talking into a mass of soft hair. "Mmm. Those nights became a little less rare if I recall. I have no complaints, except how did we manage in this bed? It's kind of small."
"I repeatedly told you we needed a bigger bed and you ignored me. You're just used to our real bed now. It is cozy for the moment, though." She repositioned her feet under Myka's. "I missed you."
"I'm still mad at you." Myka hugged her tighter.
"I know. Tomorrow," she yawned. She turned her head towards Myka, focusing with one eye. "I do love you so very much."
"I know. Get some sleep."
"Myka?" Helena started hesitantly. "Do you still love me?"
"You need to ask? I wouldn't be mad at you if I didn't. I love you more than you'll ever know." She kissed the cooling shoulder readjusting their still newly clasped hands under the covers and pulling the blanket up over Helena, tucking it around her. "Now go to sleep."
"Hmm. That's good. You're my world. You keep me grounded. I don't think I'd still be here if not for you. Tomorrow. Tomorrow we talk." She snuggled deeper under the covers. "I'm not leaving. I promise."
Myka roused quickly from her disturbing dreams finding herself staring off the edge of the bed. The ever present light from the bathroom cast long shadows along the walls and ceiling, bringing her back from the dark abyss she found herself sleeping in so often. A heavy sigh beside her drew her attention away from her thoughts and she turned her head to find her soundly sleeping partner placed heavily in the center of the bed. She laughed to herself trying to remember when Helena had turned into such a bed hog. So much for the right side, she thought. She'd missed the comfort of the warmth beside her to complain too much.
She smiled as Helena stretched her full body, back curling like a cat stretching in front of a warm fire and rolled onto her back. Helena's left hand flopped back with a smack onto the pillow missing her head by inches. Myka stretched out along the smooth naked skin, thirsty for the merest of touches after weeks of starvation. She gave in to her selfish desires and held steadfast onto the mooring in her bed. Wrapping her arm around Helena, she settled her head on Helena's chest and dozed off to the steady thud of the heart against her ear in the faint glow of the bathroom light and the shadows surrounding them searching for calmer waters.
Her eyes flew open from the erotic dream to stare at the ceiling, biting her lip hard, trying not to disturb the cause of her excruciating discomfort and the growing ache in her gut. She wrapped her left arm protectively around the sweet smelling body sleeping on her, swallowing hard as Myka's leg moved slightly again between her legs in her sleep. It wasn't all a dream. Another surge of wetness covered the lean thigh tightly wedged against her. Myka's hand brushed against Helena's side as her even breaths caressed the breast her head had settled next to.
Myka smirked. Helena had no idea she was awake and enjoying this new game. She could hear the soft grunts and feel the clenching of the hand on her shoulder, the muscles in her legs tensing on either side of her own with each premeditated move she made; each breath beneath her became shallower and unsteady, the grunts and swallows constricted, muscles strained and twitched. Helena raised her left knee unconsciously pressing against Myka's equally wet center. Taking pity, Myka finally raised herself on all fours, leaning back against the raised thigh, groaning loudly as she took the breath teased nipple into her mouth. A wet, soft tongue soothed the sharp scrape of teeth across the already sensitive nipple.
"You are so evil!" Helena gasped, relieved at being able to give up her struggle, pressing harder into Myka's mouth. She cried out in frustration, when Myka lifted her head, smiling wickedly.
Leaning forward on all fours, she traced Helena's ear with her tongue. "You deserve it. I'm still mad at you, remember?" she whispered before diving in for a long, deep, bruising kiss, halting all sound but a guttural groan deep in Helena's chest in response. Her tongue traced the outer surface of the straight teeth, stroking across the individual ridges and glancing off the cutting edges. She slowly retreated with a light pull on Helena's lower lip. Returning, Helena buried her hands deep in Myka's hair, meeting her tongue thrust for thrust before pushing her away.
"Need…oxygen." Helena turned her head to the side panting, hands following the length of Myka's back and stroking up her sides, exposing her neck for Myka's next attack. Sharp nips left a red trail down its length, ending above her collarbone with a tug on a fold of skin. Myka softened the tug with her tongue before leaving a mark behind. "If this is my punishment," Helena husked between ragged breaths, "I'll be sure to anger you more often."
Myka lowered herself, lying fully against Helena's side. Her chin resting in the palm of her hand held up on her elbow, Myka watched her fingers dance lightly over the soft breasts, brazenly toying with already aching, hard nipples and playing connect the dots with the smattering of freckles spattered across the canvas of Helena's chest now more prominent from the sun she'd been exposed to over the past weeks.
"Where were you that all of these freckles have come out of hiding?" Myka asked leaning over her, dropping soft kisses haphazardly among the freckles between occasional extended detours to either breast.
"Mostly Greece," she breathed. Her left hand held tightly to Myka's back. Confined to the brace her fingers attempted to find purchase, her nails leaving long, red marks down its length. "A short stay in…Palermo." She lost her grasp, ignoring the shooting pain as Myka pivoted on her knees. Hands replaced her mouth continuing her journey to a soft, firm belly with soft kisses.
Helena's flushed, damp body tensed, taut in restraint against the quickly growing heat and ache for release. "Your parents…" she gasped. "Myka…please…" she begged.
Myka turned her head resting it at the pulse point that so fascinated her. With a devilish smile she looked into the molten, brown eyes. "I thought it was Boxing Day? You have pillows. Use them." She laughed wickedly, knowing her time was limited. Pivoting again on her knees, she grasped each thigh in her arms, caressing each with her cheek against the soft, damp skin. She kissed a painfully deliberate path down the inside of a thigh crossing over to Helena's sharp hip bone, leaving another mark. Helena groaned loudly as she traced the crevice between leg and torso with her tongue. Slowly, she raked her teeth subtly against her swollen clit, causing Helena's hips to jerk up against her, cracking Myka's chin with the sharp pubic bone. She lay down flat, restraining the volatile hips against the mattress, continuing to tease the exposed flesh with her tongue.
Helena strained against the weight holding her down, body trembling on the edge. With little to hold onto, she grasped the edge of the mattress and squeezed the pillow beside her. Releasing, she knocked Myka off, screaming into the pillow, jerking with each following wave. She collapsed onto the bed limp, dropping the pillow off the edge of the bed, panting and gasping for any air.
Myka crawled up beside her. Looking down at the flushed face, waiting patiently for eyes to open, Myka brushed the sweat plastered hair away from Helena's brow and stroked the side of her face with her thumb. "Sweetie, where are you?" she called softly through the rasping.
She waited for a response, slightly concerned as Helena came back with painful reluctance. "Helena? Are you still here?" she asked urgently.
"Yes…here." Her breathing became steadier. She yawned, her body starved for oxygen. Opening her eyes, she was drawn directly into bright, glinting green. "What…did you…just…do…to me?"
Myka rested her chin on her arm across Helena's chest, a smug smile, still stroking the side of her head. "Oct 15th, 1887. With a little improvisation."
Helena shook her head, confused. "What? What are you talking about?" She started taking slower, deeper breaths, struggling to focus on what Myka said.
Myka beamed proudly.
Helena closed her eyes, smiling and taking a deep breath, Myka riding the rise of her chest. "I'm not altogether sure how I feel about you having read those journals now." She chuckled. "Dare I ask who else was involved on that occasion?" she asked yawning again, stroking Myka's sweaty back.
"You can ask, but if you don't remember I don't see that it matters. Besides, I think I just exceeded that entry." She hugged Helena to her, resting her head fully on her chest now, listening to the settling heart.
Helena kissed the top of her forehead and dropped her head back heavily in the deep pillow. "I don't ever recall that being a Boxing Day tradition, but no complaint shall I make if it becomes one." Her body spent but still tingling, she started to relax under the comforting weight above her, hands slowing to settle on Myka's shoulders.
Unwilling to settle for a quick peck on the head, Myka slid up, taking Helena's head in her hands and kissed her deeply, her own aching desires growing. "God, I love you. Please, don't ever leave me like that again." She stared intently into partially closed eyes.
"I'm still here, Myka." She brushed the back of her hand across the cheek above her, closing her eyes. "I'm still here." She sighed, her hand dropping to the side. "I'm not going anywhere." She faded off.
"Helena?" Not getting any response, she tried again. "Helena?"
Myka rolled over staring at the ceiling. "Great. You just passed out on me. Now what?" She turned her head to stare at her sleeping lover. "I can't believe this." She laughed softly.
Shaking her head, she got out of bed pulling the covers over the cooling damp body. With a frustrated sigh, Myka headed for the shower.
"I am sorry, Myka," Helena retorted defensively, firmly shutting the door behind her.
Myka swung around laughing in disbelief. She shrugged, staring at the door over Helena's shoulder. "Helena, you fell asleep on me," she said bluntly. She headed for the stairs, shaking her head bewildered, Helena close behind. "You basically passed out."
"Really, Myka, it's not like it's never happened before. You have been equally guilty of doing the same in the past and you know it. It's not as if either one of us has never missed the mark before either. Sex is hardly an exacting science! If I were you, I'd consider it a compliment."
"You fell asleep and left me hanging out to dry!" She paused at the top of the stairway. "Just… whatever. You're right. Just…forget about it. Okay?"
"Fine. I'll buy us some batteries for next time."
Helena followed, annoyed at herself as much as at Myka's reaction. She woke up from her dream state to find Myka staring at her from the chair, feet on the bed and book in hand. Instead of the smile she'd expected, she was greeted with a very perturbed Myka asking her curtly, "Have a nice nap? I had a lovely cold shower." Though not angry, Myka clarified for Helena's benefit the end result of their morning tryst.
"That's not even funny." Myka stopped suddenly, turning sharply to face Helena on the stair above her. "I can manage to take care of things on my own when the need arises, thank you very much. Just what do you think I did when you were off gallivanting around, God knows where for weeks at a time? We both know what your experience consists of, don't we? Not really a problem for you now, is it? None whatsoever. We've got your journals to prove it. You wanted me to read them, remember? It seems like you've benefited nicely, say like, this morning for one. Happy Boxing Day, by the way. Is that the right expression? That is one of YOUR holidays, isn't it? Unlike Thanksgiving Day. Oh, but I don't think you really want to go there, do you?" She turned again, heading down the stairs.
Helena grabbed her on the landing, turning her around to face her head on. "Myka, you are, once again, being unreasonable. As far as my journals are concerned, you have been a constant beneficiary for quite some time now. Repeatedly, I might add. Do remember what I have gone through in the last 24 hours. I've had very little sleep. I was rudely awoken yesterday morning with strangers staring at me naked on the cold floor, to discover, after all of this time you have been the said beneficiary, I was a rather big surprise to your parents. Thank you ever so much for that again. Not to mention it took me five days to get here via numerous airports and bus terminals and ended up driving out of a bloody snowstorm just to get here to be with you! You cannot hold it against me for being exhausted and falling asleep after a rather amorous wake up call from you. As wonderful as it was, and I admit it was quite magnificent, darling, perhaps you should have chosen a more appropriate time to indulge your hormones if you anticipated any sort of reciprocation. As idealistic as it is, it doesn't always work out that way!" She stopped to take a calming breath. More softly, "I am dreadfully sorry to have missed the opportunity of making love to you for I have sorely missed you. I need to be able to touch you and love you until you pass out. I need to feel you again."
She ran her hands lightly down Myka's front, taking her time to fully enjoy her breasts before continuing to rest her hands on Myka's hips. Pulling her forward, Helena tried to lean fully into her for a kiss. Myka took her hands from her hips holding them against Helena's sides.
"You fell asleep." She enunciated every word firmly, starting to smile at the event. "I ended up taking a cold shower, which really doesn't work, while you took over the whole bed in the afterglow with a smile on your face. When did you start doing that anyway?"
"Doing what? Glowing from a phenomenal orgasm?" she responded, perplexed by the change of topic.
"NO. Being a bed hog?" Myka turned towards the open kitchen door.
"Apparently when I started living up to that little moniker that everyone seems to find so amusing. After all, it was a rather violent eruption." Helena slammed hard against Myka's back when she stopped short just in the kitchen. With a heavy sigh, she pushed Myka aside, irritated, remarking sarcastically, "Now what is your problem? Still in distress?"
"You could say that," Myka slowly.
Helena looked up to see all eyes staring at them from the kitchen table. Joshua and Abigail, never early risers, were still absent. Artie stared over his glasses with his mouth pinched tightly. Vanessa settled back in her chair next to him, smirking. Steve sat in a similar position grinning broadly, arms crossed over his chest, his mother next to him, staring down at the table smiling more subtly and trying hard not to laugh. Pete sat with his mouth wide open, a fork full of scrambled eggs frozen in midair. A small piece of egg fell from the fork, landing on the table with a splat. Myka's parents didn't know what to think, sitting confused, having never heard this uninhibited side from their daughter before. Claudia raised her eyebrows, coffee cup frozen in midair along with Pete's eggs.
"Forget something?" Claudia asked. "Like, maybe, oh, say, I don't know…you're not alone here? You do realize we heard every word. You are so moving into your own place tonight." She placed her coffee on the table with a definitive thud. "Nice hickey there, HG. Just like old times. It is winter, you know. Ya' might want to consider a turtleneck next time."
Helena took it all in stride taking a chair at the table as Myka stood frozen behind her, face red, staring at her parent's unreadable expressions. She shrugged slightly.
"Claudia, you know I find those things far too constricting. A memory of Myka trying to strangle me quickly comes to mind. We did have some fun on that adventure, though, didn't we? As far as tonight is concerned, of that I can guarantee. In recompense for my transgression, we will most definitely require a larger bed." Helena replied dead panned, reaching for the orange juice. "And I, a very long nap. Alone."
Claudia coughed the coffee halfway down her throat. Vanessa, Steve and Pete finally let loose their restrained laughter and a clang rang through the room as Pete dropped his fork. He sat back in his chair and sang, "They're baa-aack."
"Do you two want some coffee? Sounds like you could do with a pick me up," Jane asked calmly after clearing her throat loudly, holding back her own smile in the kitchen with the coffee pot in hand. She poured a large cup not waiting for an answer.
"Oh, yes. That's lovely. I wouldn't want to be accused of falling asleep." She took the proffered cup holding it out for Myka. "Do sit down, Myka. I, for one, am famished and you seem to have a healthy appetite."
Myka stumbled into a chair taking a healthy gulp of coffee. Helena took the cup from her hand. "So, what are we all doing today?"
"A healthy appetite? How could you?" Myka finally asked after the long quiet drive back from the airport.
They pulled up to the warehouse, the car sliding to a stop on the packed snow.
"You aren't still going on about that, are you? Your mother seemed quite happy for you."
"What? What the hell makes you say that?"
"Really Myka, you didn't actually think I was going to get away without the requisite interrogations, did you? I thought I'd managed very well to avoid all that fuss. Apparently I was wrong. I had to go and fall in love with someone with actual parents in a time period where it still mattered. Where did you think I was after breakfast? She dragged me out for a walk after your father gave me what was the equivalent to Pete's little lecture, but a bit stronger. Why are we here?" She looked around the white expanse before the rusty face of the building. "I thought you were taking me to the cottage, or rather 'house' as you say? I'd hoped to at least get a walk through before tonight."
"Uh-huh. Back to my parents. You laughed in Pete's face and walked away. I hope you didn't laugh in my dad's face."
"Of course not! I sat and graciously listened to the lecture and responded appropriately that my intentions were as honorable as yours. He seemed to accept that, however reluctantly. I'd forgotten how protective fathers are of their daughters."
"So you charmed the pants off of him." Her stiff smile reeked of sarcasm.
"Quite possibly." Myka glared at her. "Honestly, Myka, you are not the one that has ever, or ever will, have to deal with the judgment of anyone closely related to me. They're all dead and have been since well before you were born. Only I have to suffer the awkward introductions and meeting of your friends and family."
"Fair enough. Now, back to you talking to my mother about our sex life." She locked the door, child proofing them and turned to her passenger, crossing her arms.
"What is there to say? I fear many more of these 'mother-daughter' talks in the future." She visibly shivered. "I never chose to have them with my own mother!"
"And…"
"Have no fears, dear. I steered her far away from that topic quite easily. I think she is merely curious. I'm sure the internet is going to be burnt out quickly when they get home. She simply mentioned she was happy that you seemed to, oh, what did she say? Yes. You seemed far more open and demonstrative with me than she'd witnessed before and from what she heard everything must be satisfying in the bedroom. Believe me, I wish to remain well clear of anymore conversation regarding my intimate relations with you in our bed, or out of it for that matter."
Myka burst out laughing at Helena's obvious discomfort, adding to the already steamed over windows. "You have no problem with her overhearing how good you got it this morning, as well as everyone else's colorful commentary, but you're uncomfortable with her actually asking about it."
"Darling, even I have boundaries; parents being one of them. And I would appreciate it if you tell her to drop the topic of children! Now open the bloody door and tell me why we are here!" She tried in vain to open the locked door.
Myka stopped laughing instantly, turning cold. "I'll talk to her. How much do you want her to know?"
Helena stopped fighting the door, going limp, her head falling against the fogged window. "What we tell everyone else when the need arises; I lost my daughter when she was eight and I do not wish to discuss the matter further." She sighed heavily, laying her head back against the headrest. Staring through the cloudy window, she made circles through the fog with her finger. She brushed off the hand Myka tried to place on her own.
Myka leaned back against the door, counting to ten in her frustration. She unlocked the doors getting out of the car, breaking Helena's journey in the past, just to throw her right back into the middle of it.
"Well, there's something you need to see." She stuck her head back in the car getting the woman's attention. "We have a situation we need to address."
"What do you mean by 'we'?" She looked at her suspiciously getting out of the car, her feet crunching on the snow.
"You and me." Myka held open the door to the warehouse. "Claudia is waiting for us."
"I knew there was something going on. Why didn't she say anything?" Helena started to pick up her pace down the umbilicus.
"We left, remember? She wasn't really sure it was us at first. Then when she figured out it really was us, she thought it would fix itself, meaning us."
"What do you mean 'us'? You keep saying 'us'." She flung open the door to the office. Artie spun around in his chair from a computer. Claudia ignored the crashing door, smiling at the long absent quibbles.
"Oh, how nice. You finally decided to come see your little problem," he sneered at Helena. "Now go fix it!"
"What are you all talking about? Someone with rather colorful hair seems to have forgotten to tell me something. Now what are you all talking about?"
"Hey, HG…" she drawled, spinning in her chair towards the center of the room. "I didn't think one day would really matter much, and since we had a quiet Christmas for once, well, warehouse wise that is, and it's been pretty stable since Myka came home; a little turbulent, but no major earthquakes." Artie glared at her. She went on quickly looking at him out of the corner of her eye, "Uh, not that we ever had one, and I don't think we will…Yeah, so take a look." She pointed to the door. "We all know how temperamental you can be, but this is sort of over kill, don't you think?" She got up, following them to the platform.
Helena stopped at the rail. "Is that where I think it is?"
"If you mean is it over that little space that the Regents thought you deserved, the answer is, yes." Claudia squatted down resting her chin on her arms on the railing. "Been there since, hmm, don't remember when. You should have seen it when you two had that, uh, well... never mind." Claudia caught the hot flare being directed at her in Myka's eyes.
"So it's connected to us in some way. From what I gather from your short commentary, thanks to Myka's look at you that I can only assume she is giving you right now," she turned her head around towards Myka quickly, her hand resting contemplating against her chin and an arrogant smile, "it is affected by our emotions. More accurately, those created between Myka and myself. Am I correct?"
"Seems like it. At least somewhat." Claudia stuck her tongue out at Myka, who repeated the gesture back.
Helena gazed out over the warehouse at the stormy cloud, an occasional charge flashing.
"Now this is interesting," she mused.
Chapter Text
The three women stood before the fenced in area, dimmed by the cloud overhanging it. Helena paced, hands in her pockets in front of the other two. "Let me see if I understand you correctly. This ominous, vaporous manifestation of gloom and doom has been here for more than six weeks, and you seem to think that we, Myka and I, are responsible for it, despite the fact we were not present."
"Not physically that is, but pretty much." Claudia nodded her head vigorously. She suddenly found the remaining debris on the floor more interesting as Helena continued to give her that scolding mother look.
"And you kept this to yourself." Helena stopped pacing and stood in front of Claudia's wandering eyes. She placed a cold finger under the young apprentice's chin pulling it up to look into her eyes. "Why? I made more than one attempt to establish that something was awry, Claudia. I felt it. You didn't think it was important for us to be involved? Look at me, Claudia!" She lightly grabbed each side of Claudia's head now, staring into the uneasy eyes.
Claudia swallowed visibly before stepping back out of the woman's hold. "Well, you wanted to leave, so yeah. I figured you had your new life to figure out and live and this wasn't it. You wanted a life away from here. A new start. But, somehow you are the key."
"As we are in some way associated, and it hangs over this particular area, and we are presently here, I think it is due time for you to fill me in, especially since it seems that I am the last to know." She glared at Myka who leaned against the wall, arms crossed in front of her.
"Don't look at me," Myka defended herself. "You wanted a quiet Christmas. One day of peace. I'm the one that's been digging through everything for a month on my own after you deserted me." She kicked a stray piece of wood across the floor watching it crash into a crate.
"Oh, yes. And so peaceful it was when I discovered I was a giant secret and endured 24 hours of prodding by two strangers that expect more grandchildren in the near future. The VERY near future, I might add!"
"Uh, guys…" Claudia looked up at the growing darkness.
"It's not that simple! I said I was sorry. And I just told you I would talk to her. God, she probably hasn't even landed yet and you expect that issue to be taken care of? At this rate it doesn't really matter, does it? That whole issue will never be resolved because you won't talk about it!" Myka had nearly stalked down Helena, standing tall in front of her, spit landing in Helena's face with the last few words. "And hey, let's not forget how you managed to charm yourself back into my bed for your personal world of endless wonders with your surprise return!"
"No, really guys…" Claudia spoke louder.
"First of all, I thought it was OUR bed and secondly, you put up very little resistance. The whole house can attest to that! And I didn't have a phone!" Helena spit back.
"Hey!" Claudia screamed at them.
"What?!" Both women spun on Claudia at the same time.
"What is wrong with you? Whatever is going on between the two of you…" Claudia pointed at them and then up at the churning darkness growing exponentially, "Not really good juju if you see what I mean."
"Fine!" they shouted again, turning their backs to each other. Myka slouched with her arms across her chest again, staring into the depths of the warehouse. Helena's head bent over, she pinched the bridge of her nose, forcing deep, slow breaths. The cloud continued its roiling above them, discharges flashing out into the surrounding areas.
Helena ran her hands through her hair as she turned to face a disconcerted Claudia.
"How is it, Claudia, that Myka is involved if this manifestation is hanging over MY section?"
Myka turned quickly to face her head on. "Me? YOUR section? You really do have a bigger ego than I ever gave you credit for. It's not like we aren't kind of 'really close friends' or anything here. My stuff is in there, too." She pointed to the middle of the section.
"Ahem," Claudia cleared her throat, getting more uncomfortable with the direction of the argument. "Uh, yeah, right. So, uh, she's kinda right there, HG, uh, about the Regents putting all of her stuff in there that was being stored…"
"Oh, so we have the 'Wells and Bering' section now?" she spit out in disgust crossing her own arms. "That's been the HG Wells section before either of you were born!"
"Wow," Myka stated flatly shaking her head. "And all this time, I thought we WERE Wells and Bering. I guess I was wrong." Myka walked off without another word, leaving an open-mouthed Claudia and a stunned Helena behind in silence.
"HG, that was really so not cool." Claudia finally cut the silence with a dead voice. She looked down on the dusty floor at the heap now on her knees, head in her hands. Her hair had fallen forward, ends dragging in the dust, hiding the moist trails running down her cheeks. Claudia shook her head speaking softly and calmly, "You have no idea what she has done over the past month. Every morning and evening she was in there. What she's gone through, in silence, hoping you would make it back home. We all did.
"And all these years? She always accepted your secret life and greeted you with open arms; no questions asked, no demands, waiting for your next disappearing act. When you came home you'd be worn out and beaten up; physically, mentally and emotionally. We all knew it, including Artie. She was always there to put you back together. A person has limits, HG. You of all people should know that."
"It wasn't exactly easy for me either! I was the one being blackmailed. I always came home. Always!" She threw her hair back, wet face frozen in anger.
Claudia tilted her head, shaking it slightly. She continued in the softest, calmest voice HG had ever heard issued from the woman's mouth, "I never said it was. I just got to be the unlucky one to sit back and see both sides. She is the Bering to your Wells. Always has been and always will be. And guess what, HG, once, you almost didn't come back. As a matter of fact," she sighed, "she is the only reason you did get back. And then, she put Humpty Dumpty back together again. I wonder if you even know at what cost."
"I think I'm the last person that needs to be reminded of that," Helena sniffed, rubbing her nose on her arm.
Claudia kneeled down before the older woman, looking directly into angry eyes. "No! You know what? Sometimes, I think you are the only person that needs to be reminded of that."
They stared at each other unmoving, the cloud rumbling.
Claudia stood up.
"Myka's gone through most of your stuff and some of her own stuff, too. One crate she wouldn't let us open. Said it was your job. You'll figure it out. Camera 28 will be off. Just a guess." She turned her back taking a few steps before stopping. "In case you didn't notice, Myka said, 'Wells and Bering' not 'Bering and Wells.' Seems kind of significant to me."
Claudia left her behind, frozen on the floor. Dragging her feet up the staircase to the office, she opened the door, unsurprised by their visitor.
"Merry Christmas, Mrs. F. Where's Artie?" Claudia fell back into the old sofa heavily, feeling drained.
"He went back to Leena's. The second wave of storms is approaching, so I urged him to go help prepare and Dr. Calder is trying to rearrange her travel plans and get out ahead of the storm, as would I. This one is supposed to be much worse."
"Kind of like the one here." Claudia rested her head back.
"You always knew it would be. You've done well, Claudia. That must have been very difficult for you." Mrs. Frederic sat in the chair across from her. "You were correct when you said it needed to fix itself."
"Great. The warehouse has a permanent cloud in it and the strangest couple in history is tearing apart. Talk about a yo-yo factory. They are up and down at the flip of a coin. They've never been like this. Sure they can fight, but it's always over stupid stuff. This is so much deeper."
"Yes, it is. Far beyond what they realize. There is a great deal that remains unresolved. Some of it never will be. Let us hope they can figure that out. You cannot do it for them."
"I know. I don't even know what it is. She won't tell me. The Warehouse, I mean. If this is what was going to happen, why did they have to leave?"
"It's not for us to know specifics, though I think you can sense what some of it is. You said yourself they had to muddle through the pain. It's the only way they can get back. They already broke the ties. All we can do is sit back and watch. Guide and advise. They do actually listen to you even when it doesn't seem like it."
"It hurts too much." Claudia dropped her head in her hands, feeling the first of tears finally releasing the tension of the day.
"I know. Do you think it was easy to watch HG go through what she did getting to Warehouse 13? I knew she belonged here, but I never knew why. I still don't. It never gets easier, Claudia, believe me. And it never goes away. There will always be someone or something; Artie, Steve, Pete. Someone."
"How do you do it? How do you not let it bother you? Look at you. You're like…the queen of the ice queens, no offense," Claudia complained, getting frustrated.
"None taken. I've been doing it a long time, Claudia. You will find a way. Your own way. It won't be easy, especially when it is someone you care for so much. In this case, you are bound as well. That is the most difficult."
Claudia didn't bother to look up. She knew the woman was gone. Wiping the tears away she went over to the computers and checked in the library. It was empty. She turned the camera off anyway and set it to turn back on automatically in 4 hours. Scanning through, HG still sat on the floor, hugging her knees staring into the section. Claudia sighed, slouching in the chair. "I'm not sure I want this job anymore," she mumbled.
After hours of scanning and waiting, Claudia jumped when Artie stumbled through the umbilicus door.
"Hey, kiddo, what are you still doing here? Go enjoy the quiet before the storm. Pete wants to make a snowman. Going to be a lot of shoveling ahead of us." He walked over to the screens. "Ah. I see the storm arises again. How long have they been like that?"
Claudia sighed, pushing her chair back into the middle of the office stretching her arms out in front of her and rolling the kinks out of her neck. "Ooohhh, you know how they can be. Doc V. get out okay?" She spun around in the chair until it stopped, bent over grabbing her ankles and stretching more.
"No. Flights were either booked or cancelled and no one needs to risk getting stuck between here and the airport." He looked at her over the top of his glasses. "That long, huh? I don't think I've ever seen you stretch in a chair before." He sat in his own chair facing her.
"I've never seen them so…out of sync. They're like all over the place. This morning they're having their little love spat and now…I don't ever remember them being mean to each other. Helena really hit a low blow and Myka…she was really hurt, Artie. It's like they need to be rebooted. And why is Myka there of all places?" She tapped on the screen, jiggling it.
Artie grabbed her hand. "Stop that before you poke a hole in it…I don't know. She usually goes to the library, doesn't she? That's one of the reasons there's so much footage missing from camera 28, among others I suspect." He smiled at the surprise on Claudia's face. "You didn't really think I wouldn't notice, did you? Especially, since it miraculously stopped disappearing when they moved away."
"Well, you know, I figured…" Claudia stumbled.
"Yes. I know what you figured. I wiped out a few you missed." He grinned conspiratorially, enjoying the contortions on Claudia's face as realization unfolded.
"Huh? What did I miss?" She almost bounced out of her chair.
"Room by the dark vault," he whispered, tapping the side of his nose.
"Really? How'd I miss that?"
"I think that was one of the few places no one knew about. I was unfortunate enough to be in the dark vault one day when HG came home after an extended absence." He spun around to look at the screen again, putting his hands together in his lap, his thumbs rubbing against each other, thinking. "Here's the plan. I'll get Myka, you get HG to the library. We have a snowstorm coming and I want everyone out of here and where they belong. And those two are the last ones I want stuck here right now or Dorothy and Toto are going to show up. And let's just say the last time they showed up…well, we really don't want them to show up."
"You're joking, right?" Claudia bent her head looking in his face.
"I wish. Half of the props from that set turned into artifacts. Ten minutes." He was out the door and down the stairs before she had a chance to stand up. She'd never seen him move that fast.
"Myka?" Artie spoke softly, trying unsuccessfully not to startle her.
"Artie! What the f…" Myka swallowed the rest when she jumped up, calming her pounding heart. "What are you doing here?"
He smiled at her swallowed expletive. "I was going to ask you the same thing. I told you she would be a bad influence on you. You swear like a pirate now."
"You can blame your girlfriend for that. She wasn't very subtle with her observations." She sat back on the cold step in the floor, leaning back on her tired arms.
"Oh, yeah. Well, that's kind of a dead topic. I kept losing." He shrugged sitting down next to her. "It's kind of hard to win that argument when I think she's also the best thing that ever happened to you."
Myka snapped her head around staring at him, gawking.
"Yeah," he said reluctantly, nodding his head, "I really do. You've really come into yourself. You're a stronger person. You're more self-assured, confident but you're not blinded. You fight hard for what you believe in, don't back down easily, but you don't shut yourself off so you won't listen to others. Certainly don't take guff from anyone and can give back as good as they give. You don't look for approval anymore. Mostly though, you're relaxed. No. You're at ease with yourself. You know who you are, Myka and you don't even know it. That's the best part. You don't think about it anymore. You are just you. It's been fascinating to watch."
"You think she did all that?" Myka stared at him still, arms getting numb.
"No, I think you did it together. She finally found herself, too. You fit. Milk and cookies, remember? The two of you together make a formidable force.
"So, what are you doing here?" he asked quietly, taking his glasses off, leaning forward with his arms on his knees, waiting patiently.
"I don't know. This is where it all started, isn't it? The weirdest relationship in the world." She leaned forward sliding her fingertips across the floor. "The marks are still here. Her marks. The ones made when Leena dragged her across the floor."
"One could say it started at any number of places," he commented.
"You sound like Mrs. Frederic." She ran her fingers through the deep gouges. "I was wondering what it was like to be frozen like that for so long. What's it like to be bronzed?"
"I guess you could find out if you really wanted to, but I think HG might have an issue with that."
"Not her choice." Myka frowned wiping more dirt on her jeans.
"No. I guess not. Ultimately, it's your decision, but I don't think you work like that.
"Myka, no one knows what's really going on. You two have to figure out how you're connected. Claudia's convinced it's you two, but she's not saying why. Now," he put his glasses back on and placed his hands firmly on his knees, "You've had your time out. You need to go to the library. She should be waiting and, yes, Claudia turned the camera off. Just don't kill each other. I'd have a hard time explaining that to the Regents."
Myka got up glancing at the bronzer.
"Oh, and Myka," Artie turned to her back, "I don't want to see you sitting in here again. Got it?"
"Yeah."
Myka walked into the muted light of the library with no preamble. Claudia was leaning against the stacks along one wall, arms crossed and one foot hanging from a worn shelf by her toe. Claudia jerked her head at the slight creak the door always made in the winter, obviously in mid-sentence. Helena lifted her head from the back of the smaller leather sofa when Claudia's voice suddenly stopped. Seeing Myka's slow entrance, she dropped her head back again, closing her eyes and biting her bottom lip, already slightly bruised from Myka's more recent vigorous attentions.
"Claudia?" Myka nodded towards the door.
"Uh, yeah, right. Um, snowstorm's on its way so don't get all gobbly, wobbly, and gunk this all up. Oh, yeah. You have a house…make up there, please."
"Claudia…" Helena growled.
"All right, I'm going," she complained pushing herself off the stacks. "Geez. You two don't make my job any easier," she mumbled shutting the door behind her.
Myka dropped into the chair opposite the sofa pulling her feet up on the ottoman enjoying the soft comfort. "My ass hurts," she said softly.
"Why? And where were you? You always come here." Helena fell to her side on the sofa bracing her head to see Myka.
"In the bronzing room."
"What?!" She instantly sat up straight. "Whatever for?"
"I'm not sure, really. I was wondering how we got from there to here. Not really liking the 'here' part." She slumped further in the depths of the chair, continuing morosely, "The marks are still in the floor, you know. Your marks. I was trying to imagine what it was like to be bronzed. Artie said I could find out."
"You will do no such thing, Myka!" Helena commanded.
"It's not really your decision, is it?" Myka bit back.
Helena dropped her head against the back again, staring up into the dark. "No. No, it's not. Of course it would be your decision, but I don't wish for you to experience that. You don't deserve such an experience, and no true understanding of my experience would you gain from it. That's the reason you wonder."
"Partially. But shouldn't we know what it's like if it is something we put upon others? Kind of like the orthopedic doctor that never broke a bone."
Helena tipped her head to see Myka's sad face. "I never thought about it like that. That still does not mean I'd be comfortable with you doing it. I can't think of seeing anything worse happen to you at the moment. Please don't."
They stubbornly sat in silence not looking at each other.
"Claudia has filled me in a bit. Some of it may yet be still just a tad unclear though," Helena tried to start. "Look, Myka, I am sorry. I had no idea your belongings were stored there. As far as I knew it was still the Regents' junk yard for my inventions and what not. And to denigrate our relationship like that is unforgivable, regardless of how unintentional it was."
"I forgive you," Myka whispered in the cooling air.
"What was that?" Helena asked, barely hearing the words.
More strongly, Myka repeated herself, "I forgive you. You really hurt me, Helena."
"I know, and I'm sorry. It seems like all we've been doing is hurting each other."
"I'm sorry I never told my parents. I never thought of it as hurting you and I was so wrong. And, I'd say there's been a fair amount of really good not hurting the other going on too."
Helena smiled fondly at the woman slouched in the chair across from her. "Indeed there has. So now what do we do? Keep screaming at each other?"
"Doesn't seem to be helping much," Myka sighed leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees. "Never does. Don't even know why we do."
"Come here," Helena asked softly, patting the space next to her on the sofa. With her hands on her knees, Myka sat on the sofa resting her own head against the sofa back, turning to face Helena.
Helena sat up leaning towards Myka, becoming more animated as she spoke. "Claudia explained to me some of her theories that you've been working through the past month. She said when we moved we never actually left. I was still doing little projects, or rather large ones actually, the security upgrades for one. I know for a fact you helped Pete on more than one occasion and you buried yourself in that library researching things. Her theory stands that we needed to not only physically leave, but mentally and emotionally as well. Our connection to the warehouse had to be completely severed. In the process so did our 'freak' or whatever it is they like to call it. We were already losing that, had lost it, and we were losing each other. Myka, we never left here until Michael showed up. It was the first time you and I had to face something together that had absolutely nothing to do with the warehouse. It was about us."
"But Michael and everything about that situation was because of your association, which was connected to the warehouse," Myka pressed.
"But it was never about the warehouse for us. It was about our safety. Our lives. Ultimately it was about us and the division he created between us. Don't you see, Myka? Our relationship has never been threatened by jealousy and mistrust before." Myka nodded slightly. "In talking through the timeline with Claudia, I am certain every significant change in this cloud has a direct correlation to a significant event in our recent activities. It quieted the night I walked out on you in Tenerife. Much like the eye of the storm. She believes that is when our ties truly broke. Rather the straw that broke the camel's back, you might say. Yet, a thin strand remains connected. It was most turbulent the day we separated. Thanksgiving Day."
"That cloud exists because of us, Myka. She said we were out of sync. She could feel it. I think the reason we needed to leave was so that we could find each other. We've always trusted the bond. We need to find each other again on our own. In order to believe in us we have to reconnect without the freak. She says we have to figure it out and that there is much more connecting us than we realize. Part of it is in our section, but the rest remains within ourselves, Myka. What that is, I do not know, but I doubt it'll be an instant revelation. I suspect there are many facets to all of this to create a disturbance in the warehouse like that manifestation."
Helena shut her eyes for a moment gathering her thoughts. "I agree with Claudia's assessment. Whatever is happening to us is much deeper than we ever thought. There is a great deal that remains unresolved between us and I highly doubt even we know what it is. We need to start digging and only you and I can do that. In this situation, I doubt Abigail will be of much use. We need to find ourselves again, Myka."
"So where do we start?" Myka asked.
"Well," she drawled taking Myka's cold hand in her own, "I suggest we start with what we know and take it one step at a time. I fear once we get started the rest is likely to unravel faster than we can keep up. I understand there is a significant storm on its way. It appears that we may have time to start clearing our own storm. I quite like the idea of getting snowed in alone with you."
"And what do we know?" Myka prodded.
"Myka," Helena rested a hand on Myka's thigh and she squeezed the cold hand, "I know it's going to be very painful for both of us, whatever we are about to face. Michael. Tenerife. My surgery. Where I've been and what I've been doing the past month. And, I don't think you need to be told, but I know you need to hear it. Nothing happened between Michael and me beyond a great deal of mistrust and arguments. We had separate rooms, mine I kept locked, and never once did he see me naked."
Myka smiled wistfully. "Thank you. You're right, I did need to hear that."
"Come. Peter wants to make a snowman. I understand our family has missed our various shenanigans. Claudia said they have not had such exciting breakfasts since before we left."
"I'm sure my parents have never had such an interesting breakfast."
"Oh, you never know. I'm sure they would have shocked you as much as you have shocked them." She stopped at the door, hand on the door knob. "Are we ready for this? This will likely be one of the most difficult and painful things for us. You do know that, don't you?"
Myka hugged her from behind, Helena leaning back into the temporary protective warmth. "Helena, I don't want to lose you. I don't want to hurt you anymore."
"As I understand it, darling, that is not an uncommon state in relationships. We just need to muddle through to the other side. And think how much fun the other side can be."
She opened the door for Myka. Heading up the staircase she stopped and turned to examine the cloud. "There is something in there. I can feel it. Can you?"
"Yeah. I have since I first walked through the gate. I just can't find it."
"I feel like I've dreamt it." Helena shook her head frowning.
Steve straightened up with a new snowball ready to take aim when he saw them in the distance. Last he saw was Myka sprinting down the lawn with Helena hot on her heels, a snowball ready to be launched. Helena had Myka pinned down on the ground.
"Hey guys!" he yelled laughing, ignoring the snowball landing hard against the back of his head.
"Aww, Steve, come on. Don't just stand there. You're a sitting duck, dude," Claudia complained running up to him.
"Think we should tell them to get a room? This is starting to get annoying." He laughed harder.
Pete and Abigail caught up to Claudia and Steve in time to see Myka roll Helena over, arms and legs braced on either side of her. She stood up yelling at the smaller form in the melting snow. They didn't need to hear anything to tell the words coming out of the other's mouth were distinctly unfriendly.
Without warning, Myka found herself back on the ground as Helena sat up and grabbed the back of her legs out from underneath her, screaming back at the ground in front of her. Myka was up on her knees pushing Helena back down on the ground in her original position.
"Aww…not again! I thought they were done for the day. Frakking yo-yos those two are." Claudia threw the snowball in her hand off into the garden.
"Uh, I don't think they need a room. I think they need a referee." Pete started out towards the two but not before Abigail grabbed his jacket by the elbow.
"Hold on, Pete," Abigail said quickly.
"Are you kidding me? This is okay with you? I know they can whoop and holler, but they've NEVER done this before that I know of and I'm not going to watch them go at each other like that. HG kind of has a history…"
"They're not going to hurt each other. At least not physically and not more than they already have. Come on. Let's go build a snowman." Abigail tugged his sleeve, readjusting her hat.
"I don't think it's Myka you need to worry about. She's mighty pissed." Steve whistled softly to himself. Myka was screaming at the body on the ground struggling in the deep snow beneath her to get up.
"You're just going to leave them like this?" Pete looked at Abigail in disbelief. "What happened to the whole 'touchy feely let's talk about it' thing?" He took another glance in the opposite direction, wiping his cold, dripping nose.
Abigail shrugged, tugging his sleeve again. "In case you don't remember, I've spent A LOT of time with them. They're fine. Really. They'll be in sight and I promise to keep a close eye on them. Just let them get through this. I have a feeling this is just the beginning."
"My bets are on Myka. She did almost strangle her that one time…" Claudia said quietly.
Helena made it to her feet. Myka stood in front of her, pushing her away with each step until the woman finally collapsed in the snow, dropping her head.
The three looked at Abigail, concern frozen on their faces.
"They're fine. Leave them alone. It's been building for a long time. Let them just get it over with."
"Are they going to be okay?" Claudia asked shaking snow off of her gloves.
Abigail glanced down the hill, the same question crossing her own mind. "I don't know. You probably know the answer to that better than anyone else does."
Pete watched in obvious distress.
"They're okay, Pete. Really. Your snowman?" Abigail turned sharply leaving the argument to sort itself out.
He followed the others slowly, each taking turns looking behind them.
"You lied to me!" Myka she shouted at her again. "You lied! Not saying anything is the same as a lie." She stepped forward one more time watching her fall back into the soft snow. "Then, you just break in and crawled back into my bed as if everything is back to normal. Well, you know what? It's not! You just charm yourself back into my world. And I let you do it! Every time I fall for it. Arrgh! I am so stupid! I fall for it just like everyone else you've manipulated in your life. You left me without even asking me or talking to me about it. You just up and pushed me on a plane and walked away. You never gave me a chance. You just threw yourself to the wolves without warning. "
"I was trying to protect you," Helena said flatly, looking down at the snow between her legs; a blank white with the merest of shadows in the indentations from their scuffle.
"Stop trying to protect me. I can take care of myself. I've been doing it for a long time now. Long before I knew you even existed."
"I didn't have a choice, Myka."
"Helena, you always have a choice. Just once I wish you would let me in on the decision. That's what this," she pulled off her mitten pointing to the ring on her finger, "What this is all about. We make decisions together. Not just when it is convenient for you, or me for that matter." She dropped on her knees in front of Helena. "I love you and I want to make a life with you, wherever that is. Here, Atlanta, or some little town in the middle of Iowa. I may even want to have a kid with you, if you'd actually open up and talk about it. But I can't and I won't do it if you keep leaving me in the dark and keep taking off without me knowing why. It's not a you or a me thing, it's an us thing, Helena." She dropped the mitten on the ground, lowering her head. With tears in her eyes she pulled Helena's face up to look at her. "I want to be back with my family, but you are my family. Wherever you are. But I need to be able to trust you."
"They wanted you, Myka. Not me. You!" She stood up, offering a hand to pull Myka up. Her hand ignored, she dropped back down on her knees in front of her adversary. "Don't you understand that? I knew Michael was setting me up. I knew him. I knew how his mind worked. I couldn't take the chance of losing you."
"Always the martyr, aren't you? When are you going to stop? Why do you think you always have to sacrifice for me? Do you even know how much I've sacrificed for you? What I've been through? I have the nightmares too, Helena. So when are you going to stop leaving me? I need to know I'm not going to wake up to a few words on some post it note stuck to the fridge saying you left and you'll be home someday. I can't keep going on like this. You keep doing it over and over and over. You need to stop. I can't do it for you. You have to do it! You're hurting me in the process. You were so focused you were blind to me and Michael. He used you, damn it!"
"Michael's dead," Helena whispered, losing the words in the cold smoke of her breath.
"What?" Myka froze. Her head echoed with those few words muffled by the snow around them. Their friend's voices carried down the hill.
"Michael is dead, Myka. He died saving me." Helena closed her eyes to the pained expression on Myka's face, her own tears seeped through the tightly closed doors to the world beyond. "When they made the strike…When they made the final strike, we were supposed to be in the clear and on our way to the pick up zone. Like the best of plans, something goes awry. We were being followed and quickly losing our escape. We were so exhausted by then…He pushed me into an open door in a back alley and was shot down before backup arrived. It was poor luck."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Myka whispered. The fog of her breath in the cold air was the only proof that she said anything.
Her eyes flew open. "Because it took me three days to get to you for Christmas just in the states! It was another two days previous just trying to get in the states. I needed to be home with you! I wanted one day of peace. One day to forget everything and to just be able to love you before all hell broke loose. Because that is what is happening."
They sat in the melting snow, oblivious to the cold setting into their bodies. Myka looked out the corner of her eye to see their friends in the distance deliberating over Pete's snowman, each of them glancing in their direction occasionally.
She laughed out loud nervously, looking into the blue sky. "So much for being discreet. Couldn't wait until we got home. Had to go and piss me off, didn't you?"
Helena chuckled back, quietly. "Darling, when it involves the two of us, I believe the word 'discreet' is not a word often used." They sat together, cold and wet from the melting snow soaking them, listening to the uneasy laughter from their friends up the hill making the snowman.
"Do you even remember what I said that pissed you off?" Helena smirked.
Myka swatted a cloud of snow away. "Of course not. God, I hate this!"
Helena shook off her wet glove reaching up to caress the already cold, reddened face with her numb fingers. "Myka, putting you on that plane and turning my back on you was the most difficult thing I've ever done. I was terrified. Believe me when I say I thought I was doing the right thing at the time. I can look back and see how I could have handled it differently, but I can't change that. Yes, I made a decision on my own and acted upon that which affected us both. Now I must live with what I've done and try to make it better. Neither of us is perfect. Certainly not me! I think I've proven that on a number of occasions, but I keep on trying."
"I feel like we're breaking apart." Myka took the cold hand in both of her own, warming it with her breath.
"I think we already did that. It's the putting it together part that's going to hurt." Helena leaned her forehead against Myka's.
Myka pulled back slightly and looked at her strangely.
"Helena?" Myka asked, her voice shaky
"Hmm?"
"We have a really deep tub. I'm really wet and really, really cold and our friends are still watching us. Maybe we can continue this conversation, alone, in a really hot bath?"
"Under one condition."
"What's that?"
"Will you please rub my shoulders? They are incredibly stiff and sore from my travels."
"That could get us into a heap of trouble."
"It seems to be a special trait of mine, this whole trouble-making business."
"Artie seems to agree."
"Oh, Artie. More importantly, what do you think?"
"I'm willing to finding out."
"Shall we be discreet or shall…"
Helena found herself on her back, Myka's tongue exploring every surface of her mouth. She responded by bringing up a cold thigh between Myka's legs. Oblivious to the cold now, they were suddenly startled by the hoots and whistles of their friends on the hill.
Myka stood up, a sly smile on her face, pulling Helena up into a strong embrace. "Why start now?"
Chapter Text
She smiled slightly in the thickening fog, hearing the overdue soft sound of feet padding across the bedroom floor. Her eyes reluctantly cracked open when the bathroom door opened. Myka leaned her head against the door, still dressed in the silk robe she'd thrown on in a rush to throw the wet clothes in the wash.
With brazen appreciation, she drawled from the deep water, "That robe is still very becoming on you. It falls in all the right places. I could only hope I'd actually get to see you in it when I bought it. How red your face turned back then when you opened that rumpled bag I pulled out. A bit daring on my part." She still remembered the expression on Steve's normally blank face when she pulled him in behind her on their way to the airport. It had been a difficult decision. Steve stood by patiently waiting, the corner of his mouth fighting a smile. Only his eyes gave away his amusement. She hated shopping and he knew it, finding the whole process of HG's deliberation over the purchase of such an item fascinating. As far as he was concerned they may as well have been standing in the middle of Victoria's Secret, but it was far more of an establishment than that. HG had impeccable taste that often came with a price tag to match. His only regret was not being present for the gift giving, teasing her horribly the whole trip home.
"Are you going to stand there like Peeping Tom or are you going to join me? The water is getting cold." Helena brushed her fingers across the steaming water she was submerged in.
Myka stood quietly not answering, a soft smile warming her face.
"So, Peeping Tom it is, though a horse I have not." Helena smirked, closing her eyes. "I always thought how uncomfortable riding horseback naked would be. I'd think one's bottom would become most painfully chafed, not to mention certain other irritations."
"You're beautiful," Myka said in wonderment, watching Helena play with the water with one hand, the other arm resting along the edge of the tub. Unlike her own haphazard braid, Helena had pinned hers up in a loose twist.
"That will only get you so far," she said shyly. "My shoulder has a remarkable bruise, thanks to you. Now, what has taken you so long? I thought you were just throwing the clothes in the wash." Helena leaned forward waiting for Myka to slip in behind her.
Myka inhaled the soft scent in the steam coming from the water as she slid in the deep tub. "Mmmmm. Lavender? Not what I expected. You usually choose something spicier." She saw the growing bruise on the pale shoulder, kissing it as Helena settled back against her. "I had nothing to do with that. You slipped all on your own."
"Because you poked me sharply in my arm pit." Helena turned around glaring at her.
"I was trying to emphasis a point." Myka rested her chin on the damp shoulder.
"While yelling obscenities at me, regardless if they were well deserved. You made your point; right to the ground. We've not had such a tussle in some time. I fear we may have upset Pete."
"He gets a boxing ring. We get a snowy field. It was…cleansing. I miss your kenpo lessens. I am sorry about the poke that landed you on your shoulder. Thankfully it isn't your hand." Myka sat back, pulling Helena with her. "I was talking to my mom. I wanted her to know about Christina and asked she drop the grandchild routine. She knows her name." She felt the smaller frame tense slightly and then relax with a deep breath.
"It's okay. She won't broach the subject, but did say it was up to you to share what you wanted, if you ever chose to. She gets it. Well, actually she feels horrible and says she can't imagine what she put you through. Then I got lectured for how she would have never been so pushy about grandchildren if I'd just let them in my life a little and they'd gotten to get to know you over time and how awkward it was feeling like they had to make up for lost time and I dutifully agreed. Dad likes you and thinks you're funny. Mom didn't really say anything more which means she's warming up to you but needs more time. Oh, and they say we're too thin and we need to eat more. I said we all know you're too thin and we're working on it. I told her we've had a, um, stressful month. Oh, and they got home safe and sound. Happy to get out before the storm."
"I have to agree with your mother. Even for me it was a most uncomfortable situation, which must say something. I can only hope things will be a might bit smoother going forward. You can't ignore them now. I won't let you, as awkward as it may be for me for the time being. I've put a great deal of effort in never associating with my previous lovers' relations whenever possible. Most notably husbands and wives, unless, of course, both were an appreciated item. Parents were rarely, if ever, an issue."
"So glad to know I rank high," Myka said sarcastically, flicking the side of Helena's head when she laughed. "Well, we got through it. They want us to come out and visit. Soon. They really do want to get to know you. Well, I think actually, they want to get to know us."
"Hmm. That should prove to be interesting," Helena mumbled, adjusting her head against Myka's neck. "When did you plan on telling me about the teddy bear?" It was Helena's turn to feel the body behind her stiffen. "You knew it was Christina's, didn't you?"
"Nice segue, Wells." Myka paused. "I suspected, but I didn't know for sure until you mentioned the stained foot. I wanted to wait until I brought him back here with us and we were alone."
"We were alone when I told you about the ink stain. That's why you froze up on me. Why didn't you say something then?"
Myka let out a huge sigh, Helena's head riding the rise and fall of her chest, and wrapped her arms tightly around Helena.
"It just didn't seem like the right time. I wanted to be alone with you. Like this; just the two of us, no one else around and in our own space. The day had already been full of enough drama and you were exhausted. You still are. You wanted one day, remember? And honestly, so did I. I wanted us to have that day. So far, we really haven't had a lot of time together alone. Think about it." Helena turned her head into Myka's neck. Bringing a wet hand out of the water, Myka held the head against her. "I'd hoped to tell you tonight. Honestly, I really did. You embroidered her initials, didn't you?" She felt the slight nod against her.
"Tell me," Helena pulled her head away to focus on Myka's face, "Tell me, how it is that my daughter's teddy bear ended up under that tree. I don't understand."
"It was given to me by my favorite aunt, my father's sister Grace, after one of her 'adventures' when I was a little kid. She was the only one that ever seemed to see me. I'm not actually sure where she got it. My parents kept it on top of one of the store's bookshelves. They said an antique was not a suitable toy. I always resented them for that. It was my teddy bear. I managed to steal it down and snuggle with it when they weren't looking. I always put it back, afraid I'd get caught. I don't know if they knew or not. As I got older it kind of faded away into the back of my head. It was one of the first things I took when I moved out, though. It just moved around with me I guess. I found it packed away in a box when I started digging through everything. Funny, how you never noticed it before. It sat on the sofa in the bedroom over at the main house. I packed it up with a bunch of other stuff when you stopped going back to your own room and more of your stuff started migrating. "
"Darling, I was hardly interested in the sofa when I was visiting you. I had distinctly different ideas from taking inventory of the sofa." She draped a wet arm over Myka's on the edge of the tub, bringing their hands together. "Where is your aunt now?"
"She died a few years ago, before I ended up here in South Dakota. She'd probably be very excited to hear all about our adventures.
"So, it really is Christina's?" Myka asked.
"Yes, it most definitely is. I examined it this morning, sometime between your father's lecture and your mother's stroll around in the cold snow. If you look closely you can see his left ear was sewn back on and there is a bare patch on the back of his head. She'd drag him around behind her by his foot. Wore the fuzz clear off. That's also how he lost his ear. It became caught in a grate in the floor. Of course now, with the age of the bear, no one would think anything about that. She loved that bear," she ended sadly.
"Claudia is right, then. We are connected more deeply than anyone ever thought."
"So it would seem. I'm beginning to wonder just how deeply." Helena leaned forward turning the hot water on, warming the cooling water. The wind outside picked up quickly and whistled through the window.
Myka spread her hands up along the back stretched out in front of her, kneading the softly defined shoulder muscles. Helena bent her head forward over the steam from the faucet, groaning in appreciation. "Right shoulder. Lower." She groaned deeper. "Yes. Oh, yes. Right there. I'm still overcompensating for my left side."
"Why didn't you say something sooner?" Myka asked, baffled, softening her massage.
"I had other more important needs," she mumbled into the steam, turning the water off and straightening up.
Myka chuckled, shaking her head. She leaned forward pressing into the warm back, holding Helena firmly against her. "I've known many a massage easily incorporated into feeding our needs."
"Well, let's not let this one get carried away." Helena sucked in a sharp breath, feeling Myka's tongue licking the sweat off the back of her neck. "And that is definitely not helping, darling."
"Then maybe we should switch places for once?"
"Oh, no. Not with that very special, sweet spot between your shoulder blades. Besides, we've tried that and we don't fit so neatly."
Myka rested her cheek against the center of Helena's shoulders. "Hmmm. I suppose. But the back of your neck gets me every time, especially when your hair is up." She rested there in comfort absorbing all the was Helena. Quietly the asked, "Do you want to tell me about your surgery? Were you going to tell me you were dead on the table for, what was it, five minutes?"
Helena slipped away from Myka, turning around to face her. Pulling Myka's legs around her waist, she mimicked the action with her own, and wrapped her arms around Myka's neck.
"Ah, that. She did tell you then. I didn't tell her not to." She leaned her forehead against Myka's. "I know. Not telling is as good as lying. But, yes, I planned on telling you when the time came. But now that you've brought it up…That makes twice I've died now. Or so I've been told. Quite happy not to actually remember either at the moment. I wonder if the third time sticks."
Myka pushed her away, splashing water over the side of the tub, soaking the mat. "That's not funny! Do you think maybe you could start not making dying a habit? Helena, I had a nightmare, damn it. I think I know when it happened."
"I'm sorry. You're right, it is not a joking matter. I promise it is not a habit I wish to have. How do you know when it happened? Do you remember the dream?"
"No, I don't really remember now, and I don't know how. It's not like I could 'feel' you. There was nothing. I searched, but I felt…nothing. All I remember is waking up in complete terror that something was horribly wrong and it was you." Myka looked through the steam to the ceiling, reaching for her memories, listening to the wind in the trees. "Falling. A steel table. Bright lights. A pool of blood. That's it. That's all I remember. And a feeling of utter terror."
"Steve mentioned you were having more frequent nightmares. I'm sorry I wasn't here. What were they? Do you remember?" Helena asked brushing a tear away from Myka's cheek before it melted into the perspiration coating her skin.
"Oh, the usual. The cabin, falling, your ghost, Christina's ghost…"
"Myka wait," Helena pulled Myka's face up to hers. "You have nightmares over Christina's ghost? Is this new? How long? You've never told me."
"Oh, I don't know. Atlanta? Maybe before. I'm not sure. I figured you had enough nightmares about Christina without mine thrown in the mix. I didn't want to make yours worse."
"Myka, you cannot make mine any less or worse than they already are. Promise me you will tell me." Helena shook the woman's head slightly. "Promise me!"
"Fine. I promise. Sometimes you're worse than that little mother hen we have over there," Myka complained, grinning.
"Yet despite all of our complaints, she is there when we need her. I assume she was with you for those nightmares?"
Myka nodded. "Of course. She can tune out anything when she wants to, especially Artie, but I swear she hears the first rustle when there's a nightmare."
"Or she senses them. Do not forget her 'threesome' theory," Helena laughed. "She had no idea what implications she made that night."
Myka joined her laughter. "Nope. Not until you set her straight later."
"I don't think there is any doubt in my mind about the 'straight' part, darling." Helena stood up holding out her hand. "I'm prunish and tiring quickly in this sauna."
"Oh, ha, ha. Some of us are late bloomers." Myka stood up taking the hand. "Though a little surprising at the time, your gender had nothing to do with my falling in love with you."
"As it should be. It's much more fun that way. Now watch the mat. It's soaking wet, thanks to you." Helena grabbed a towel, wrapping it around Myka and tucking it close together at her neck, before kissing the tip of her nose. "Quickly now. Dry off and dress in some warm clothes before you get cold. I'll see about dinner and check in next door."
Myka stood by in her towel pensive as she watched Helena dry off and dress. Helena looked up noticing the odd expression on her face.
"What? What's wrong? You look quite odd," Helena asked.
Myka shook her head to clear her thoughts. "Nothing. It's just…nothing."
"It doesn't look like nothing." Helena rummaged through the dresser handing over warm clothes. "Please, Myka, you must get dressed. It's very chilly and the wind has gotten stronger. Myka, honestly, what is going through that head of yours?"
"It just struck me that you're…you're being kind of…"
"What?" Helena stood in the doorway.
Myka sat on the edge of the bed, clothes in her lap. "Motherly."
"Ah." She smiled faintly. "Yes. Well, I still do have my moments. Both you and Claudia steal them on occasion. Is it really that surprising?"
"No. You're a very caring person. It just struck me out of the blue. I'm sorry. It's hard to believe, but sometimes I forget."
"Please, don't be sorry. I never was. Yes, I was a mother. I don't want us to tip-toe around her any longer. No, it is not easy and some days are much harder than others. But she will never go away, just like the stretch marks I earned in the process. They are still there. I'd so hoped bronzing would take those away."
"I love your stretch marks," Myka said with great affection recalling the attention she often lavished upon them.
"You've never mentioned them before!" Helena exclaimed in shock. It never occurred to her anyone would notice. She merely accepted them as part of a past she gave up trying to forget.
"Why would I? They're part of you. I doubt there is a mark on you that I haven't noticed. My tongue has traced them many times. I thought you of all people would have figured that out."
Helena genuinely smiled. "Darling, you often make it difficult to take notice of such details." Sobering, she continued seriously. "No more Heffalumps and Woozles. Remember? Perhaps Pete is right, she remains a ghost. She deserves better. I was a mother. I loved being one and I loved my daughter. Myka, please don't not mention her for fear of hurting me. It only makes me hurt all the more."
Helena stood up straight and took a cleansing breath, shaking her hair out and back with her fingers. With a wide fake smile she turned her attention back to Myka, still sitting on the bed wrapped in a towel and clothes in her lap.
"Now, in fear of sounding like a mother, do get dressed before you freeze. I don't want that bath to have gone to waste. I'll start water for tea and sort out something for dinner."
Myka faced the fire, feet on the coffee table warming, sipping a glass of ruby colored wine. Under the heavy blanket pulled up to her chin, Helena watched the flames from Myka's lap, fighting sleep from the fatigue built up over the past week. Myka's hand continually brushed through the thick hair, her nails lightly scraping across her scalp and the occasional massage of the back of her neck. She gave up, closing her eyes and listening to the strengthening wind outside, the occasional gust forcing its way through the tight windows.
"Helena?" Myka asked tentatively.
"Hmmm?" She brought herself out of her heat induced fog.
Myka leaned forward to fill her glass, disturbing the comfortably nested head. "Do you want to tell me what really happened? Those freckles didn't pop out in Greece or Palermo. It's winter. It's not that warm and it's rainy."
"Ever my walking Mykapedia you are. No, they did not. Though, I was in Greece at some point and Palermo. At one point I don't know where I was. The freckles are most likely a result of Cairo. It was quite warm there. A welcome relief from Greece. As you pointed out, it isn't the most pleasant of places to be this time of year."
"Can you tell me? Please? Tell me what happened and about Michael if your ready."
Helena shifted onto her back reaching up and cupping the side of Myka's head. The flames from the fire reflected specks of light in her eyes, cloaking them from her. Myka looked away, staring into the orange hue from the fire, taking a healthy swig of wine, continuing to play with the hair in her lap.
"I'm not sure there is much to tell. It was a disaster from the beginning. I had no idea what I was walking into. Michael, in true form, revealed as little as possible to me. A source of great contention. Always was. You know how much I hate not having control or at least being part of the situation. Not very much unlike what I did to you. I see that now. Little bits would be revealed as the days went on. Somehow they managed for me to get basic PT when I needed it, though it was mostly up to me per instructions. We kept moving so much I often wondered where I was even when I knew. The people we were involved with had apparently become, much to their own stupidity, caught up with a much bigger organization. They had little knowledge, I'm sure, that they were being played as pawns, much as we were. It was a royal mess. Four times they tried to make a move and four times it was abandoned at the last minute. We were essentially the bait for the little fish that in turn was the bait for the big fish; the reigning organization ultimately became the goal. Quite unnerving knowing you are constantly under surveillance by a sniper. Hold it against me as much as you'd like, Myka, but I am glad and will never regret you being sent safely home. Beyond your safety, it would have been one more person to complicate the situation."
"After the four failed attempts, we ended up in Cairo that last week. A coordinated effort to hit all four locations was mostly successful except for the tiny leak, oddly enough to the little fish. Apparently revenge is stronger than underworld control. Michael and I were being followed. We'd been able to evade them and thought our team had caught up to them. We were wrong. We never got confirmation, so continued on to our final rendezvous. Michael never got there. Back up was close behind, but not close enough. When we turned into an alley, he pushed me into an open door where I fell on the floor and quickly hid. He was shot down. Five minutes later the three men following us were cornered on both sides. He was dead before anyone got to him."
Myka continued her stroking, wiping the tears shining in the fire light. "I'm sorry."
"His last words before he pushed me were, 'She's a lucky woman'."
"He loved you, you know. All his animosity and snide comments were no different from mine. Trying to hide the unexpected hurt and feeling you lost something you love and irrationally think is yours alone. And you loved him, too. Otherwise, you wouldn't have been so angry at him."
"I thought I did. Reality is I loved you more and was running away from you. He was a good man in his own right."
"I think he knew you were afraid to love someone and you didn't think you had earned that right. Sometimes I think you still do. It was an inner battle you fought with yourself. But you did love him, just not the way he deserved. He knew you loved someone else and he was willing to accept that. You weren't and didn't know why."
"Myka, I know you are mad at me for sending you back here, but I would do it again. I'm afraid of losing you. I couldn't risk losing you. Not again. Your life always seems to be held in my hands. How many times has your life been held in my hands, Myka?" she begged.
"What are you talking about?" Myka asked in utter confusion. She stared down into the depths of fear.
Helena sat up, firmly grasping Myka's head with both hands. "I remember the first time I almost lost you. The panic I felt was overwhelming. We never told the two of you. I sent you back in that time machine and we almost lost you and Pete. The circuitry was blown out and we nearly didn't get it started again. Your life was almost lost because of me. I had to bring you back here. Too many times have you been almost lost because of me."
Myka took the hands away from her face, holding them together in her own. "Helena, all of our lives are in each other's hands. That's just how it is. Pete, Steve, Claudia…we hold each other's lives in our hands. We depend on each other. I was mad because you didn't tell me what was going on and you never gave me a chance to be part of the decision. I probably would have even agreed, reluctantly, but you never gave me the chance. At least we would have made the decision together. I finally understand what my dad said. It's not the what, it's the not telling. That's what hurts."
"I think I understand and I'm sorry." Her head was gently being pushed back to its former warm resting place.
"It's time to stop apologizing." Myka finished off the wine setting the glass on the side table and placed her hand across Helena's eyes. "Close your eyes for a second." Myka turned the side light on and picked up Helena's left hand, unclasping the brace. She started examining the hand closely under the soft light, following each finger with her own and tracing the thin scars that would fade. "I haven't gotten a chance to actually SEE the hand." She added wryly, "It certainly seems to be working well. Dr. Jordan did a nice job. I'm glad you went through with it. You're happy with the results?"
"Yes, despite the circumstances. You know, my dying and all and then being thrown to the wolves. It tingles still more than I like, my fingers shake and it will get stronger and tire less, but no complaints. I can only hope for improvement with hard work and time, but I don't anticipate full function. However, it seems to be getting the job done, don't you agree?" Her devilish smirk passed across her face. "I missed you terribly. Vanessa was some consolation, but not the same. I prefer you sneaking around her back and crawling in with me over her sitting in a chair. She rarely left me. We talked about a lot of things and I should be cleared soon."
"Cleared for what?"
"To be rid of that thing," she pointed to the brace Myka had set aside, "and to go back into the field. I've essentially been doing it with one arm. With the hand deemed functional enough it shouldn't be a problem. Strength will come with time and will only improve with use. I trust you can help with that. It is fairly dependable, though I still can't write with it yet. I've missed that for some reason…Hmm…I was supposed to meet Dr. Jordan in the next few days, but that will have been pushed out I'm sure unless he managed his flights. I don't think Vanessa tried very hard. I have business to settle with her before she leaves anyway."
Myka laughed out loud. "Artie certainly isn't complaining. I think he mentioned something about her not getting out until New Year's. That seems pretty convenient. What business?"
"Oh, just some things from the surgery we need to tie up. It's nothing, really." Helena yawned, fighting her closing eyes. "What time is it?"
Myka looked at her watch. "Um, almost eleven."
She yawned again. "No wonder I'm so tired. I know I made a very boastful promise this morning, but honestly, darling, you may be carrying me up the stairs."
"I know. You need some real sleep in our own bed." Myka pushed Helena up who rested against the back of the sofa watching her pick up and turn the gas fire off. "Come on, Champ, and no, I'm not carrying you, but you can always lean on me."
Helena came out of the bathroom shivering and nearly bounced into the bed where Myka was already curled up deep under the covers. Diving under the covers quickly she shivered violently once more and snuggled up close, trying to burrow her feet between Myka's. "Brrrr! It's cold out there. Come on! Let me in! My feet are cold."
"I can't believe you're wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants," Myka mused wrapping her arms around the cold body. "Give it a second and…"
"Hey! Myka! The sheets are warm!" She jerked her head around quickly, dislodging herself from the warm arms.
"Um, it's called the electric blanket," Myka chuckled, curling around the woman again, pressing her cold nose in the thick hair at the nape of her neck, warming it up. "The one in which you so proudly proclaimed in front of my parents your preference for, the 'old-fashioned' way."
"Oh, well, yes. I still prefer the old-fashioned way, and I'm willing to bet they do too."
"Ewww! Did you have to say that? Those are my parents! Not something I need to know. They had sex exactly twice!" Myka covered her head with a pillow.
Turning around in Myka's arms, Helena dragged the pillow away and pushed her head on to it close to Myka's, scowling. "You need to talk with your mother more and save me from the whole gory process. You may be very surprised by your mother. Anyway, as I was saying, I see the advantage to getting ahead in the whole process. Although, I'm willing to bet we'll be losing power by the sound of that wind. I couldn't see a thing through the bathroom window with the amount of snow already gathered."
"I almost guarantee we'll lose power. We are partially hooked up to a generator though. Some appliances and partial heat to keep the pipes from freezing. Ouch! Helena, you really need to trim your toe nails. Really, when is the last time you did?"
"Pedicures have not exactly been on the top of my list recently, with my game of playing cat and mouse with the bad guys and all. You aren't going to go make me do it now, are you?" She whined. "I'm all comfy cozy now."
"Of course not. Then I'd have this billowing waft of cold air under the covers. I've survived so far, but it's getting done tomorrow or you can find someone else to warm your feet up for you."
"I'm sure Peter would be happy to keep my feet warm. Ouch!" Helena jerked away. "You just pinched me."
"Damn straight I did. Pete wouldn't see the light of day and he knows it." Myka pulled her back. "So what do you think?"
She wiggled in closer, warming Myka's neck with her breath. "Mmmmm. I think I love our bed."
"About the cloud of doom," Myka moaned, tempted to elbow her.
"Oh, that. I think we have problems," Helena responded flatly.
"If I wanted an answer like that I'd have asked Pete, who has actually shown more insight than that. Do you really think just clearing the air is the answer?"
"No. I think the divide we've created between us is a factor having caused a rift between whatever so called connection Claudia insists we have with it, and yes, it's our first step to healing both it and ourselves. It's a necessity for us regardless of any bonds or storms. However, I do sense there is definitely more to it than that. Claudia hasn't said, but I think she does to. Why else would Mrs. Frederic send her in there? I just can't quite get a grasp on it yet. One of them is for me alone. I suspect there is something you must face alone as well, but that is a pure guess on my part. It just makes sense. Claudia has yet to say if she's figured out what your part is to come."
"Do you really want to come back to the warehouse?" Myka asked mystified.
"I don't recall saying one way or the other. I only said I would be cleared soon enough for the field if I so wished. I don't know. I've been back barely 48 hours! Darling, can we please leave this until tomorrow? I truly am exhausted."
"I do get a rain check, right?"
"Darling, since when has there ever been a need for a rain check?" she answered fading.
"Good point."
"Myka?"
"Hmmm?"
"Thank you for placing the lanterns in the room," Helena mumbled sleepily.
Myka kissed the back of the dozing woman's neck. "I love you."
Myka woke up instantly and caught the elbow before it jammed her in the ribs. Within seconds she'd enveloped Helena in a full body, arm and leg squeeze before she woke in full force thrashing.
On autopilot she followed the flexible routine they'd developed over the years, hugging Helena tighter with straining muscles against her until she was fully awake and aware of her surroundings. Myka blessed the Coleman lamps. They had lost power and the bathroom light was gone. She gradually loosened her hold, talking softly as Helena slowly stopped hyperventilating. A big yawn signaled Helena's additional need for oxygen and she started crying, struggling to sit up. Myka crawled in behind holding her in a loose hug, brushing back the wet hair plastered to Helena's face as the sweat covered body slumped forward.
Exhausting herself in tears Helena leaned back against Myka, now propped up against the headboard. Only one thing made her cry like this, and not in a long time. She wasn't surprised. Everything else was just plain terror.
"Christina?" Myka asked, softly.
"Yes…no…yes…I don't know!" She started crying again, frustrated.
"What do you remember?" Myka probed lightly.
"Nothing! I don't know. Yes, she was there, but it was different. It wasn't the usual ones. She was there and I can still feel her, but there was something else," she sobbed.
Myka sat back waiting, rubbing her back through the damp sweatshirt, pushing damp hair to the side away from her neck. "It's okay. You don't have to remember. Just breathe for me." Myka coached her breathing to normal, an occasional wide, deep yawn, desperately seeking oxygen as the sobbing lessened.
The room quieted to the low rumble of the storm outside competing with the one that blasted through the bedroom. A chill settled over the damp body, causing Helena to start shivering uncontrollably.
Myka slipped out from behind her resting a hand on the thin shoulder. "You okay for a sec? We need to get you into dry clothes." Seeing the slight bob of the head, she grabbed one of the lanterns, placing it on the nightstand, and felt through Helena's dresser drawers for new clothes.
"Here," she set the clothes in Helena's hands, "I'll be right back." Returning with a damp cloth, she sat next to her washing her face off. "At least the generator kicked in. Warm water. Need help changing or you okay?"
"I'm okay, just don't go anywhere," Helena spoke to the bed weakly.
"Nope. Got to change the sheets. Right here."
"I don't remember, Myka."
Myka turned from her task, watching a despondent Helena slowly change, dropping the damp clothes in a heap at the foot of the bed. "It's okay, Helena. Maybe sometimes it's better that way." She fluffed the last of the pillows tossing them onto the bed.
"You don't understand. It seemed so familiar, as if it was a dream I've had before but I don't remember. Christina was there and someone else. She was confused. And a giant chess piece. It was white. White marble. But instead of cold, like one would expect marble to be, it radiated warmth. That's all I remember."
Myka hopped into the bed holding up the fresh sheets. "Get in here. You're freezing. Time to warm up the old fashioned way," Myka said smiling. "Well, both Abigail and Vanessa are here if you want to talk to them tomorrow."
"It was just another nightmare." Helena crawled into Myka's long arms feeling like a child, grasping for the center of reality. "I think I prefer this method of warming up, even if it is slower."
"Me too." Myka rubbed Helena's back as she drifted into a deep sleep, listening to the storm and staring at the ceiling, hoping unsuccessfully to find her own solace through the long night to come.
Chapter Text
Helena finally rolled out of her arms and was resting comfortably next to her. This was the part that annoyed her. Helena would thankfully be done and over the event, sound asleep, until waking up unsettled in the morning. Cruelly, more often than not, she would lay awake into the early hours until giving up on sleep and just get out of bed. She got up, looking for her watch on her dresser. Three a.m... She estimated the nightmare happened around midnight.
She grabbed the flashlight from the night stand, leaving the lanterns behind, and headed downstairs. Damn. No power. No coffee. But the stove worked. Thank you, Claudia for the generator. Tea it was. Not perfect, but it would do. She turned the gas fire on to warm the room. Out of curiosity she opened the front door to be met by a gust of snow blowing through the entryway. It was a blizzard.
"Hey, you. Sleep okay?" Myka asked. Closing her book she patted the space beside her, lifting the blanket she'd tucked around herself. Helena slid in, tucking her feet under her and rested her head on Myka's shoulder. She shivered against the warmth beside her, gazing into the flames of the fire in front of them, indifferent.
Helena shrugged nonchalantly searching for a hand buried deep under the blanket. Still staring into the fire she dully said, "You know how it is. I can only assume you've been down here for some time – the bed was cold. I hate that you don't fall back asleep. It seems rather unfair that my nightmares leave you wide awake while I drift off into oblivion. You must be very tired indeed."
Myka squeezed the cold hand reassuringly, dropped a quick kiss on the head against her shoulder and set her own head against Helena's. Closing her eyes from the growing fatigue, she let out a slow stream of air. "Not that big of a deal. Lot's on my mind anyway. Besides, it's not like I'm going to have a long day warehousing and it looks like a good day for a nap or at least some really overdue snuggle time. Have you looked out the window? I made the mistake of opening the door. I think I let a snow drift in. Pretty sure we're stuck here awhile."
"What time is it?" Helena asked, shifting her head to look out the window. A blank, grey canvas covered the window, an occasional gust of snow swirled around the corner of the porch.
"Not sure. I left my watch upstairs. Didn't think time mattered much at this point. Hold on." She wiggled her way out from underneath the blanket to search for her phone in the kitchen. Scanning quickly through her text messages from next door, she snuck back in under the warm blanket. "It's a little after seven. Everyone seems to be up and asking for an update on our status and says come over for breakfast. We should probably alternate turning phones off to save on the batteries and charge up next door," she said setting the device on the side table. She closed her eyes, lack of sleep taking over now that Helena was up, and leaned her head back against the soft cushioning of the sofa with a relaxed sigh.
"Myka, how did you know?" Helena turned her head around, her expression on her face unreadable, intensely searching Myka's inner being.
"Know what?" Myka tried to play stupid, slowly lifting her head to gaze back into the keen eyes. She'd spent enough of her morning mulling over that same question. Too many incidents had occurred over the past few days to confuse her over that otherwise empty space that had once been full, often with annoying perception.
"You know very well what. You knew I was having a nightmare. You had me squeezed up before I woke, didn't you?" Helena leaned her own head back, following the shadows around them swirl in a dance of their own.
"I don't know," Myka responded slowly. "I've been trying to figure that out. I'm not really a fan of being elbowed in my own bed. Between you and Claudia, I've gotten enough bruises from elbows. You probably just jerked or something and I caught you at the right time."
"Or, it's not completely gone," Helena whispered wistfully. She continued analyzing out loud. "I knew you were staring at me Christmas Day – both times. I tried to rationalize it by telling myself it was a logical assumption on my part, but I failed. I woke up knowing. I knew you were at the hotel door in Tenerife, before you slid the card key in." She paused in thought. "I've been thinking about it since Christmas afternoon. I haven't been able to let it go. Perhaps it runs much deeper than we assumed. After all, if it was there from the start… Circumstances and our petty behavior may very well just be interrupting it."
"So you acknowledge there is actually something that connects us on a different plane?" Myka watched Helena's face fixed with concentration.
"I never denied it. I merely refused to dwell on it like everyone else seems so resolved to do. As I've repeatedly pointed out, it just is. I don't need to know the why or how. I realize that may be difficult to understand, coming from me of all people, but that truly is how I feel."
"I don't know, Helena. I've spent part of the early dawn thinking about it as it is. Maybe you're right, and I'm just not going to think about it anymore. Do you want some tea? No coffee, but I can manage tea."
"Actually, do we have any milk?" She rolled her head to the side, facing Myka.
Myka looked at her, head cocked to one side and face distorted with confusion. "Milk. You want milk?"
"If we have it, yes. Why? Is there something wrong with that request?" Helena openly challenged the woman still processing this new concept.
"Uh, nooo. It's just you never drink milk, unless it's warm with a splash, usually more, of something else in it in the middle of the night. I don't think I've even ever seen you drink milk any other time."
"People change." She acknowledged the doubt on Myka's face. "Oh, fine. Vanessa recommended some dietary changes, alright? Apparently, honey rum is not necessarily considered a preferred dietary supplement. I thought I'd give it a try. But if we don't have any…"
"No. That's fine. You can want milk. You just caught me off guard. I can get some next door and get a cup of coffee, too. Tea just doesn't cut it for me without much sleep. Sorry. I try, but… You sure you don't want tea?"
"Later, perhaps."
Myka dislodged herself from their corner and started pulling outdoor clothing from the closet, pulling on GORE-tex pants. "Where are you going?" Helena asked watching the major production.
"I just said; to go get your milk…and me coffee. I can check-in next door, too. You want to come? Maybe have breakfast with the gang?"
"And leave my nice warm hole to ford that bitter cold tempest? Not particularly. Shakespeare's Ferdinand I am not, despite my sweet Miranda you be. There is no need for you to go out in this weather to get me milk. I'm fine without it."
"I know, but now I really want that coffee. And Ferdinand was a bull, too."
"What are you talking about?" Helena laughed as Myka pulled a wool hat on. "Don't let me stand in the way of your blessed coffee whether there be a bull involved or not. Just make sure you don't get lost."
"Whoa! It's the abominable snowman." Pete started laughing at the snow covered figure knocking snow off of her boots. "What's the deal? You like blizzards or something? Everything okay over there?"
"Yeah. Um, I need coffee," she said with a smile, handing her thermos over to Claudia's out stretched hand, "and, uh…milk?"
"Milk?" He scrunched his face completely confused by the request.
"Yes. I said milk." She eyed Vanessa at the table who suddenly became very interested in her breakfast. "I understand someone recommended some dietary changes in my house. Wouldn't happen to know what that's all about, would you, Doc?"
"I merely suggested, as I would to any of my patients," she glared at Artie and calmly continued, "that there was room for some improvement. Anything else is doctor-patient privilege. If you have any concerns over your wife's health and or behavior, I suggest you ask her."
"Milk. What other surprises do I have to look forward to?" she mumbled into the open thermos Claudia handed her, indulging in the first sip turning it into a steady drink of half the thermos. She rolled her eyes back in pure pleasure, inhaling the heavenly aroma. "Ohhhhh...Oh my God! Claudia, this is, just…wow." Shyly, she handed it back for a refill. "More, please!"
"I think you could all cut down on the coffee, Oliver," Vanessa commented, fighting a smile. "Some of you seem to find it a nearly orgasmic experience from what I see."
Pete and Steve burst out laughing at Myka's reddening face.
"Right. Like that's a problem in that house. Ouch!" Pete rubbed his arm.
"At least I'm not flying solo." Myka stuck he tongue out at Pete, who stopped laughing and glared at her. "It really is more satisfying. I was going to stay and chat, but really not enjoying being the center of attention of this particular conversation." She reached out for the gallon of milk Steve pulled out and a hot container of food.
"Breakfast," he said quickly, not looking at her. "You really came over in a blizzard to get milk for your wi…HG?"
"I need my coffee," she defended herself. "I'm leaving now." Myka pulled up her hood and walked out the back door.
"So married," Steve chuckled, shaking his head and turned around to the rest of his companions. They all nodded their heads in agreement.
Pete piled more scrambled eggs on his plate. "Milk in a blizzard," he snorted. "Yup. That is WAY so married." He turned sharply facing Vanessa, eyeing her suspiciously. "Why is it you can get away with the "W" word and the rest of us can't? We really need to do something about that."
The doctor shrugged. "Doctor-patient privilege? Let's not forget I'm the one that finally pulled their heads out of the sand while the rest of you dopes sat around waiting for two very stubborn, intelligent, but often oblivious women try to figure it out on their own. How many years did you seriously know and not do anything about it?"
Pete stood with his plate in the air, eggs getting cold. "Well, maybe you can get them married off too. Denial is getting really annoying. Walk like a duck, talk like a duck…"
"And can you get them to lay some eggs? I want to be an aunt for crying out loud and I've given up on Joshua," Claudia complained picking at her cereal. "Not that I really know what to do with one. Actually, kind of having a hard time with the idea of Myka being around a kid. And HG? I mean, I know it happened and all, but still…"
"What about me?" Steve asked, mildly offended. He turned to Pete in disgust. "We all know the kind of eggs Pete lays."
"Just leave them alone. It's not something you can force. If it's going to happen, it'll happen," Artie spoke up from the table. The group all turned and stared at him. "What?"
"Well, no offense 'complications-Artie'," Pete jumped in, "but you're not known for being Mr. pro-Wells and Bering."
"Do you mind charging these back up?" the snowy figure said from the door handing over two lanterns. "Just in case we don't get power by tonight. No bathroom light."
"You don't have a flashlight to go pee?" Pete snorted. "Ouch! Man, Claudia that really hurt." He swung around at her as she took the lamps from Myka.
"Yeah. I'll bring them over tonight." Claudia set them aside on the counter. "I'll bring dinner over too, if you want. Steve's making lasagna."
"Sounds great. Thanks, Claud. Oh, and that's Bering and Wells," she said over her shoulder on her way out the door.
"What did you hit me for?" Pete complained still rubbing his arm.
Claudia glared at him. "Dude, Helena still can't sleep in the dark. Without power all they have are those lanterns. They don't have the mega-generator like we do. So go charge them." She smacked him again.
"Oh. Glad we got the mega-generator," he said, suddenly sober and grabbed the lamps. Then he looked up, eyes wide. "How much of that do you think she heard?"
"Well, if you find a big egg in your bed…" Artie chuckled.
Helena had made a comfy nest of blankets, comforters and pillows in front of the fire before Myka got back from the house, left her goodies and ran back with the lanterns, leaving a trail of snow to the bedroom. Numerous pillar candles added light to the normally darker space of the house and they enjoyed a quiet picnic breakfast in the middle of the nest in near silence, commenting only on the food and the blizzard.
"I didn't need the milk that badly. I was just asking if we had any, but thank you." She had just finished the glass of the white substance.
"I know. We needed the lamps recharged anyway and we got breakfast out of it. With bacon." Myka leaned back against the coffee table Helena had pushed back, finishing the last of the coffee, the thermos joining the empty glass.
"You forgot the lanterns on the first trip. Why do they constantly feel like they need to feed us? We do very well on our own. Although, I agree the bacon was a nice treat."
Myka shrugged. "I don't know. They're happy we're back, they really miss us at dinner and Steve was probably too polite to ask what the cupboards held with the storm hitting before I got groceries. Not like I knew you were on your way home, so they are a little bare right now, but I'm not complaining."
Helena picked at the last of the bacon as Myka lay down in the surrounding nest when she broke the quiet interlude.
"You need to stay here. At the warehouse. It's where you belong." She was staring at the bacon crumbs frowning. "You belong out there tracking things down for the good of mankind and all the rest of the hoopla the Regents like to pontificate about."
"What?!" Myka sat straight up, taken aback by this sudden change in conversation.
"Myka, think about it. You hated the library job, any other secret service assignment is going to seem substandard and monotonous to you and you love it here. You love our family and you love the artifacts; the history, the myths, their powers fascinate you, the puzzles and the search." She smiled slightly. "You love everything about them and everything about this job. I think you're the only one I've met that actually likes inventory. You love being here. This is where you belong. This is home."
Myka was up on her knees facing Helena, pulling her attention away from the remnants of their breakfast, cupping the sad face in her hands. "Honey. Helena. I belong where you are. The warehouse was my happy place once, but it isn't anymore. My happy place is you. Warehouse or no warehouse."
Helena's eyes finally came up to meet Myka's. "Can you deny anything I just said?" she asked.
Myka sat back on her heels with a weighted sigh. Picking up the plates she'd placed it on the table. "That is a pretty big question to ask after just blurting all that out of the middle of nowhere."
"Can you? Can you deny it?" Helena repeated more forcefully.
Myka stared back in the suddenly oppressive silence. She couldn't believe they just jumped into this discussion. On the other hand, she couldn't see any better way to approach the subject at the moment. It was a biggie and one that needed to be settled. They'd been dancing around it since before they left for Atlanta. Helena remained motionless, waiting patiently, intently searching her eyes. Looking up at the ceiling for guidance and finding none, Myka rubbed her face with both hands before looking back at the face that never moved.
"Okay, probably not. But only if you are here with me. Can you deny any of it?" Myka asked in return. "I've watched the frustration you've had since Quebec and it's not just the mental anguish we've lived with and the physical obstacles. You're unsettled not being in the thick of things. You're an explorer and an investigator. You don't like things unfinished and you just about foamed at the mouth in envy of every mission you could pry out of Claudia. If it hadn't been for those projects of yours… This place is as much a part of you as it is me.
"In many ways, Helena, you know nothing else beyond the warehouse. That's not to say you can't learn something else, and you have beyond anything I'd have thought possible, but it's as much, if not more, a part of you as anyone else. Sometimes more than Mrs. Frederic." Myka watched the deepening frown etch age in Helena's face far beyond her years, bitterly laughing to herself inwardly; both biological and chronological years. "You came through time with the warehouse.
"So, I'll ask you, again. Can you?" Myka asked quietly.
The older woman dropped her head back on the coffee table, harder than intended, ignoring the piercing pain. "I don't know," she whispered. "Once, I never thought there was anything beyond here, except Christina. Then, well, we all know how that ended." She closed her eyes. "If what Claudia says…"
"NO! No more," Myka interrupted vehemently. "No more 'What Claudia says'. That is no longer a part of these conversations. This is about you and me and our lives. Claudia has no place here."
Helena nodded slightly. "But the Regents…"
Myka stopped her again. "The Regents have always and will always exist. I know how you feel about them. You've made your opinions well known since day one. You have every right to resent them. You got a shit deal. I'll never be able to understand what it was like to be treated like that, to go through what you have, what it was like for you and how much it cost you. But I ended up with a shit deal in the process too, and you'll never know what it was like for me either. I paid a hefty price too. We both did. Everyone has shit. Some of us more than others, but that's what makes us who we are, and somehow I was lucky enough to still have the real you. Despite it all, I love who you are. Even on the days I want to strangle you."
Helena rolled her head towards Myka, straining to visualize her from her position. "What now?"
"Well, you still have not answered my question." Myka stood up grabbing the blanket wadded up in the corner of the sofa. "I'm tired of sitting. My knees and ankles hurt. Can we lie down in this little nest of yours?" She lay down waiting for Helena to join her in the massive pile of blankets and faced her, covering them with the blanket.
"Yes, I did. I said I don't know. It's both yes and no. It's not clear to me, Myka. I do not want you to leave because of me, though."
"Arrgh. Just to let you know, this is one of those times I love you, but I really want to strangle you."
Helena smiled when Myka lightly wrapped her hands around her neck, gently shaking her. "Myka, you've left twice because of me."
"Maybe once, but not twice. WE left because it was the right thing for US to do at the time. You really have a hard time with the 'us' concept, don't you?" Helena looked at her blankly. She grabbed the woman's left hand with her own pulling them out from under the blanket. "Why must I have to keep doing this? Did this whole concept change over a century? Why did I give you that ring? Why did you give me one? Because they were really pretty? I don't know about you, but I painstakingly chose that ring with purpose because somehow, somewhere, someone decided it was a traditional symbol of faith, fidelity and a union of two people as one. As corny as it sounds, I like that idea." Helena remained blank. "No comment? Nothing?" Myka rolled on her back in a huff glaring at the ceiling. "God, maybe we should have made a big deal out of it and gotten married. Pete and Claudia would have been happier. Maybe it would make a difference. I just didn't think it really mattered. All I know is, right now, I feel like I'm constantly banging my head on a wall because you don't seem to understand the 'us' concept. I'm not saying you have no freedom of your own, but things that affect our life together…"
Myka rolled her head towards her silent companion. "Okay. Just for the hell of it, let me play devil's advocate. If I decide I want to stay here no matter what you think, what would you do? Would you stay with me or would you leave?"
"That's an unfair question." Helena turned her head away.
"Is it? Since when does the devil's advocate ever ask a fair question?" Myka stared at the back of Helena's head. "Oh my god. You don't have an answer, do you? You really don't know." Myka continued to stare at the back of the dark head in wide eyed, open mouthed shock.
Helena snapped her head around offended. "Are you questioning my love for you?" she accused.
Myka stood up abruptly, pulling the ring off of her finger. "No," she said softly, shaking her head slightly. "I never have. I know you love me with every fiber of your soul. I'm questioning if you honestly, wholeheartedly know what it means to be WITH me, what THIS symbolizes to me and how much this stupid thing really means to me." She rolled the ring between her fingers and thumb, watching the light of the flames reflect back at her, and feeling the small relief upon the red surface. "Until you can figure that out, you can keep it." She tossed the ring in the middle of the blanket.
"Maybe we're looking at this the wrong way, Helena. Maybe what we really need to ask ourselves is not do we stay or go, but what do we want our future to be. I'm going to go work in the office for awhile." She turned on her heel and quickly ran up the stairs.
Helena sat up not comprehending what just transpired and waited for what didn't follow – the slamming of the office door. She reached out with a shaking hand, tentatively picking up the shining object she removed from her own finger so long ago. She knew it had never once left the finger it adorned since. Until now.
Myka didn't know how much time had passed by. Annoyed, she'd picked up the excess from Helena's desk that continually migrated on to her own and dropped it in the middle of the organized disaster. She'd never understand how the woman knew exactly where everything was. She'd given up on pretending she was working on the file in front of her. The light was inadequate and she was cold. She found her eyes continually returning to stare at her now naked hand. The pale ring around her finger in the form of a tan line was now the only vestiges of its former occupant. She'd been too hasty in her actions, but she was tired of trying to make Helena understand. What was so hard for her to understand that there was no right or wrong answer as long as they made it together? She wasn't asking for ownership. She was asking for a partnership.
She heard the shower turn on. She'd thought of taking a shower earlier, even thought of sharing one, but she was too tired and preoccupied with her own thoughts now. So many of the other things that jumbled around in her head during her morning solitude were now moot points. "Rome wasn't built in a day," she told the chaos in front of her on the other desk. "Right. Like that's something to really strive for." The shower turned off and she soon heard Helena start for the stairs. She felt the hesitation outside the door more than heard it before the scuff of feet slowly faded away.
She sat still for at least another half hour before throwing the pen she'd forgotten was in her hand on the desk and wandered downstairs cold and hungry. The smell of chicken soup made her stomach growl. An empty bowl and spoon sat on the counter waiting for her, the soup steaming on the stove top. Myka filled the bowl and sat down on the floor next to Helena at the coffee table. Helena's bowl was pushed back, empty, and she sat with her back against the table, book in hand, warming her feet by the fire.
"Thank you," Myka mumbled between slurps.
"You're welcome. I'd forgotten how wonderful Artie's soup is. I see he filled the freezer for us." She frowned over Myka's next spoonful. "It amazes me that none of you seem to be able to manage the art of eating soup without making so much noise," Helena commented. "It's not that difficult."
"Victorian soup etiquette is a lost art. That happens after a hundred years or so. What are you reading?" Myka asked, already recognizing the battered book that somehow survived Quebec, beaten and torn as much as it's owners. She'd play along for now in their quiet, evasive conversation.
"The Little Prince. Be assured I will teach any child of ours proper table manners, including the correct way to eat soup - quietly. I won't raise a heathen so commonly found now."
Myka dropped her spoon with a load clang on the bowl, a small splash of soup hitting the table. "What?!"
"No worries, dear. Merely hypothetical for conversation's sake," she said sarcastically. Setting the book on the floor she took her bowl to the kitchen, returning with a towel and cleaned the spill. Myka still sat frozen over her bowl. Helena stood up with the towel hanging limp in her hand and spoke quietly, "I won't insult you by asking you to take it back. I love you and I wish with all my heart that you could take it back, but only you will know when you feel I deserve that honor. Perhaps I don't know what you mean by 'us'. I've never done this relationship thing before. I never wanted or needed to. I thought I was doing fairly well, considering most of the things in my entire existence I've done on my own. If not for my own selfish needs, it was all done for Christina's benefit and even that I failed at. How often did I leave her for the sake of the bloody warehouse? It was my very own selfishness that led to her conception in the first place. There's more than one reason such situations left a black mark on a woman. Even that, I managed my way around. And where did that get me? What mother leaves their daughter alone like that to be killed just to chase artifacts? What kind of a person does that?"
Myka stared for the longest time, eyes wide in shock, tears ready to escape, at the cold face gazing in front at nothingness. Trying to understand the randomness of this assertion, she slowly took the soft hand in her own and gently pulled the yielding body down beside her.
"Helena," she said softly, not sure if she was being heard, "You are not responsible for Christina's death. That was not your fault. You loved her with every grain in your body. You spent as much time with her as you could. Probably a lot more than a lot of people do now. I don't know if things would have been different if you had been there, but I do know that if you were not doing what you loved, she wouldn't have been happy either."
"But I am responsible for what transpired afterwards and I will admit, Myka, there are still times I do not regret what I did," Helena said, void of emotion.
"I think I can understand that a little. Sometimes I don't regret the deaths of the people that hurt you. Every day I watched you struggle it was a challenge to not hate them. But someone who was able to rise beyond her own anger and hate once told me to not walk away from my truth. I'm trying not to do that. Why are you?"
"I'm not. I admit what I did. I became a person I would not want my child to be proud of." Helena turned her head to look at Myka sadly.
"I think you're wrong. You've grown into someone beyond that person that got lost in her pain. I can't imagine your child would not be proud of what you overcame to find yourself." Myka still couldn't understand where this was coming from. Hadn't they already gone through this? "What you did for the Regents, was that something you wanted to do?"
"No. Never once." Helena closed her eyes, a pained expression crossing it. "Perhaps it would have been best if you had never found that cabin."
Myka let out a huff and laughed to herself. "You still haven't forgiven yourself. After everything, you still can't forgive yourself. That's why you keep martyring yourself. Everyone. Everyone, including Artie, has accepted and forgiven you but you. The warehouse has forgiven you. Yet, you still cannot forgive yourself."
Myka shook her head, her stomach cramping with empathy. "You still believe you belonged in that cabin. I finally understand. Until you forgive yourself, you can't be a part of the whole. It'll always be you and me. Sure, you try and sometimes you succeed, but you still don't think you deserve the full monty." Myka sadly hung her head, taking the smaller hands in her own. "Helena, I know you love me more than the world and I know I want my future to be yours. Do you?"
Helena finally looked at her, moist cheeks reflecting the light from the candles in the darkening room of the late afternoon. "You are my past, my present and my future. But I don't know how to get there."
"Then we'll get there together. I told you, I belong where you are. You. Are. Home."
"Yes, Myka. I am home. I knew the moment I stood in front of our old room that I was home."
"Is that your answer? 'Cause I'm not sure I'm really following all this." Myka asked cautiously.
"Yes."
"Okay, just so I'm clear on which question…"
"If you wish to remain here, I stay with you. You belong here. That's how this whole mess started." Helena rolled her eyes at the obvious.
"Sweetie, I think that's just the tip of a very big iceberg that needed to be tapped. No one said this was going to follow an outline. Of course, we haven't actually asked if we can stay yet," Myka mused. "The Regents haven't exactly asked us."
Helena glanced at her with heavy eyes. "Myka, do you think we can get off of the Titanic for a short time?" She handed the book still on the floor to Myka with hopeful eyes.
Myka piled the pillows up for a headrest and opened the book. "How far did you get?"
Helena curled up on her shoulder. "Page 1."
A muffled knock on the door roused Myka from her semi-conscious state. Images kept invading her thoughts as she stumbled to the door, thankful to not trip over or wake Helena in the process.
A snowy figure fell in grabbing her for support. "Whoa, man. I'm telling you, this is Mother Nature's way of saying 'Just stay inside.' But I love my family so I brought these." She proudly held up the two lanterns. "Oh, yeah. And," she pulled the door open quickly picking up a snow covered square pan and a paper bag, "hot lasagna and garlic bread. Well, it was hot when I left. The lamps were ready to go earlier but, hey, who says no to lasagna during a blizzard?"
Myka rubbed her face and shook her head trying to make sense of what the white snowman was saying. "Shh. Keep it down. Helena's asleep on the floor."
Claudia took her coat off, uninvited, and kicked her boots off. "Wow, you look like something the cat should have thrown up three days ago. You okay?"
"I guess. You can say it's been a rough day. Come on in, by the way. Want some wine?"
"Oh, yeah. A whole day stuck with Pete, Steve and Artie in the same house is not my idea of an amusement park ride. Well, in your case, maybe a roller coaster," she chuckled.
Myka opened the wine and poured two healthy glasses. "Ha, ha. It wasn't that bad of a day. Except for the getting puked on." She smiled at the memory of Helena's enthusiasm. "Actually, it was a great day."
"I told them you were well rewarded." Claudia grinned, knowingly.
"No. It really was one of the best days I've ever had. One I'll cherish and never forget, and no, it did not involve sex, so stop thinking like Pete. You spend the day getting on every roller coaster, some twice, getting puked on, consuming a year's worth of junk food, and tell me how much energy you have left at the end of the day for a good old-fashioned roll in the hay."
"Uh, okay then. Moving on…Actually, it's been kind of fun. We had a huge Trivial Pursuit tournament. Let me tell you, you need a team mate, snag Doc V. She's almost as good as you. We kept rotating partners, but she and Artie pretty much wiped the floor up with the rest of us." Claudia tiptoed into the living room and peered over the sofa at the sleeping figure curled up on her side, hands curled under her cheek and chin. "Wow, she's like, kind of cute like that. She looks like she's sucking her thumb."
"If you wake her up, I'll tell her you called her cute," Myka warned.
"Yeah. Sneaking backwards, very quietly." She backed into Myka who quickly got a hand around her mouth before the surprised squeal escaped. "She's not cute," Claudia whispered. She watched Myka put the lasagna in the oven to keep it warm. "How long has she been out?"
"Couple hours. I'm not really sure how long to let her sleep. She's still playing catch up from Christmas, she had a nightmare last night, and today...was pretty draining."
"So you've been up since when?"
"Three a.m..."
"No wonder you look like crap. On a serious note, I'm going to guess rough day also means productive?"
"Who knows? For us…it's a beginning. For you? No clue." Myka set her wine glass down and rested her hands back against the counter, shaking her head. A curious expression crossed her face. "A lot of Christina seems to have resurfaced and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's just the right time? It's taking its toll. On both of us. Always amazes me how the domino effect comes into play. God knows how point 'A' in a discussion suddenly jumps to point 'Y' and makes its way backwards. Not sure how we ever make sense of it."
"Maybe that's the point," Claudia suggested closely examining the older woman. "You know, when we keep saying if you need anything, we don't just mean in the food and milk way. The milk thing is kind of funny. We're all pretty aware that you two aren't just sitting around playing footsie, if that even. I don't think two conjoining storms are necessarily a coincidence. We respect your privacy and know you need this time, but remember, you have a whole lot of annoying people across the way that care a lot about you and are trying really hard to not ask every ten minutes if you're okay and is there anything we can do. I'm pretty sure you are and you aren't at the same time. Just remember that you got a pretty big support system across the great abyss of snow." Claudia headed to the door. "So if either of you needs a break…Well, we kinda want to keep you."
Myka tried to smile, still reliving the events of the day in her head. "We know, Claud. Not sure how much help your cloud of doom is getting. May actually make it worse."
Claudia started to put her boots on and picked her coat up from the wet puddle she left behind. "Well, I care more about you two than Artie's complication."
"I am Artie's complication," a small tired voice announced from the dark. "He's very good at reminding me of that on a regular basis."
"Hey, HG. Sorry if I woke you."
"I don't believe you did, but thank you. Is that lasagna I smell?" She sniffed the air walking over. She wrapped an arm around Myka's waist leaning against her for support.
Claudia zipped up her coat. "Hot off the press and a vegetarian one just for you. We have two meat ones too if that floats your boat. Anyway I gotta get back before they send out a search party. Let us know if you need anything, 'cause we got power!"
"We have power…sort of," Myka said.
"Yeah, but…"
"It's quite adequate. You have Pete and garlic bread. Thank you, by the way, for recharging the lanterns," Helena said, her head clearing slowly.
"Hey, you want light, I'll get you light. I have the power. And really, you had to remind me, didn't you? Ugh. Pete and garlic." She opened the door. "Can I stay here?"
"NO!" the two women said in unison.
"Geez, way to make a girl feel loved!" Claudia shouted from the porch as the door shut against the storm.
Helena leaned heavier against Myka, closing her eyes. "Now what?"
Myka hugged her close, leading her towards the table. "Sit. Wake up some more and we eat."
"If you say so," Helena mumbled putting her head on the table, facing Myka in the kitchen.
Myka laughed. "And you think I'm letting you teach our kids table manners? Not bloody likely."
Helena grinned, head still on the table, closing her eyes. Her words jumbled with her cheek against the hard surface, "Darling, I've said it before and I shall say it again. Please, stop trying. You sound like a bleeding idiot."
"That's kind of the point, Helena. Milk or wine?"
"By all means, wine."
Chapter Text
Myka sat on the sofa under one of the blankets, feet curled under her, drinking the tea that had grown cold during her silent contemplation. It had taken Helena longer to fall asleep after this last nightmare than the previous night. It hadn't helped that she also had the displeasure of experiencing her own returning phantom. She laughed inwardly. All they needed now was an orchestra in the kitchen and they'd have their own opera.
She watched the sleeping figure in the pile of blankets, itching to get up and move around, too unsettled to sit still much longer. The power had yet to be restored and they chose to sleep in front of the fire where it would be warmer. The snow had decreased, but the winds remained high, making the storm deceptive with the swirling of the soft snow. She crawled out of her corner over the back of the sofa to make more tea. At least she could pace in the kitchen without waking Helena, who despite the amount of sleep she had gotten the day before, was still asleep. This recent nightmare had taken an emotional toll on Helena that she was unwilling to share, claiming it was nothing out of the ordinary.
The ring still nagged at her. She'd been rash in taking it off, yet she also knew she would not have done otherwise. It symbolized far more than she thought Helena realized and Helena had made no attempt to argue. Her only words last night in reference to the incident had been, "I won't give up my ring. I know what it means to me. I do wish you'd reconsider, and I won't deny that it hurts me deeply, but I understand your reluctance to reclaim what is rightfully yours, for the moment. If you are unable to believe that I have any true understanding of its significance, then it doesn't belong there. But remember this, Myka, every joint sometimes requires welding and a little bit of grease. I had my reasons for offering it and you had yours for accepting it. I still believe they remain the same. It is you, not I, who needs to come to terms with that. Perhaps you are right that our stubbornness and defiance over pomp lessened the significance of the exchange more than we gave credit for. It was no small act on my part, nor do I believe it was yours. My love for you remains true whether you wear it or not."
Myka squeezed her eyes shut tightly, pinching the bridge of her nose when the kettle started to whistle. She quickly grabbed it before it woke her sleeping partner. It amazed her that such a small object became yet another source of friction, but her action spoke volumes.
She set her tea on the side table. Helena had curled up into a ball on her side facing the warm fire. Myka returned to the kitchen for another cup, setting it beside her own before crawling back into her former spot. She drank half the cup before she spoke.
"Your tea is going to get cold. Do you want to talk about it?" Myka asked quietly.
"How did you know I was awake?" Helena asked, uncoiling, grabbing her own blanket and crawling over the coffee table to sit on the other end of the sofa. Myka handed her the warm tea.
Myka looked at her softly, the hint of a smile at the corner of her mouth. "You never sleep in that position. That's your 'I don't want to face the world' position. If I'm not there you either lay on your side with your hands curled up to your chin and your leg kicked out or you sprawl out on your stomach taking up as much space as you possibly can, which is pretty impressive. And you usually hug my pillows. If I am there, and I'm not doing the same, you're sleeping on me, stuck to my side or holding me in a death grip with your leg over or between mine. Even when you hog the bed or twist into one of your infamous pretzels, you have some part of your body touching me. We're sleep magnets, sweetie."
"Are you saying you sit up at night and analyze my sleeping habits?" Helena asked with her face expressing complete disbelief.
"Let's just say I've enjoyed watching you sleep enough to know these things. I also know you do it too." She raised her eyebrows at her, dipping her head.
Helena grunted, sipping her tea. "I believe the appropriate expression in this particular situation is 'busted'."
Myka laughed, spilling the dregs of her cup in her lap. She tossed the now wet blanket over the back of the sofa. Turning towards Helena, she extended her legs, opening in invitation and poked the woman with her toe. "So, do you want to talk about it? And bring that blanket with you if you want to keep warm."
"I thought that was your job." Helena placed her tea on the coffee table moving into Myka's waiting arms to be wrapped snugly around her.
"It's a joint effort, dear. So, do you want to talk about it? It was about Christina, wasn't it?" Myka stopped, sensing herself getting too assertive.
"What makes you think that?" She spoke into Myka's chest. "And no, I do not want to talk about it. You?"
"Christina's ghost," Myka said flatly. She anticipated the stiffening of the body in her arms. She wasn't going to haunt Helena any worse with her admission. Christina was suddenly in the forefront of Helena's mind again.
"Her ghost. Are you quite certain it was her ghost? Why her ghost?" Helena asked, deeply puzzled.
Myka's fingers escaped the blanket, gently soothing the side of Helena's face. "Helena, I don't know Christina beyond what you've shared, and what I have seen, I really don't want to remember. I prefer to see her as the happy girl I've created in my mind. She'll always be a ghost to me." They sat in silence, Myka waiting for some sort of response. It didn't come. "Do you want me to share it? I'm going to talk to Abigail today if she will, but I think you…I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong." She felt the slightest bit of a nod against her chest.
"Like most dreams, I don't think it'll make much sense, but it's the same one I've had since I got back. We're always in the warehouse. She calls to me and she's at the end of an aisle. She wants me to follow her. So we sort of play hide and seek, I guess. I find her in your section. That sort of makes sense, but she's playing with a couple of other kids. Her cousins I guess. Then you show up. The kids are gone and you're calling for her. She keeps looking back and forth between us. She's confused and doesn't know where to go. That damn cloud shows up and she tries to run to you, but she disappears. You end up on your knees, crying and I can't get to you. It's like I'm on a tread mill running and I can't get to you. And then you're gone. I stop running and fall and that's usually when I wake up. Sometimes I wake up sooner."
Helena turned her head up at Myka, clearly disturbed, but thinking. "What do you think it means?"
Myka shrugged, indifferent to the question. "I don't give dreams much credit so I don't think it really means anything in particular. It's just my mind trying to sort things out. Probably just that on some level I'm still afraid of you leaving me and that damned crate has made Christina the vessel since she's part of you. I don't know."
"What crate?" Helena asked warily.
"Christina's." Helena shot straight up in shock. "Didn't you know? I'm sorry, I thought Claudia told you the other day."
"So that's what she meant. All she said was something about a crate you wouldn't open and I'd know it when I saw it. She must have thought I would go in, but I never did. I was too distraught over what happened between us and why, which I still don't know. There's a crate of Christina's? Why? I never kept anything. The teddy bear was a shock."
"Well, we're not really sure since we didn't open it. But, yeah, there's a crate with her name on it. I wouldn't let anyone touch it. I stared at it a lot. I won't lie; I really wanted to open it, but it's not mine to open. I felt weird enough going through the rest of your stuff." Myka pulled her back down against her, noticing her elevated respiration. "It's okay. When you're ready we can open it. If you want me there you know I'll sit right next to you. Don't think too much about it. It's not going anywhere."
"But I don't understand why there is one," she insisted. "By the time I asked to be bronzed I didn't want anything, Myka. I made that very clear. I'd even attempted to burn most of it, including her bed." She pressed, getting more agitated.
Myka held her firmly in a tightening hug, holding her head. "Maybe Charles collected it, thinking you were being rash and didn't want you to regret it later? Or he didn't know what else to do with it when you were, uh, gone. I don't know, sweetie. Maybe it was mislabeled?"
"The Regents mislabel? I think not." She sat up again running her fingers through her sleep riddled hair, dislodging the blanket to the table and spilling her tea. "Lovely. That's two wet blankets now." Myka clasped a hand around her arm when she started to get out, causing her to jerk around.
"You did dream about her again, didn't you? If you don't talk to me, please talk to Abigail or Vanessa. I don't think this is a random nightmare. I think you're going back into a long stretch again. How were they after the surgery? I know what happens, and the other two times you didn't actually die."
She dug her palms into her eyes long enough for them to sparkle before she jerked her head up. "Only what we expected. Vanessa already had me on medication. Michael…Michael had dealt with them before, so I made do. Don't give me that look. He did what he always did. Woke me up, sat in a chair and mundanely talked until I fell asleep and then left me. Occasionally, I'd get an awkward back rub. He was never you. I learned, this time, to pretend to fall asleep, waiting for him to leave and then cried myself to sleep in self-pity because you were not there and was far from functional the next morning."
"I knew you should have waited for me," Myka lamented. "I should have been there."
"Doesn't matter, love. We made it through and we are still here, thankfully together in our own home."
"And are we home? I know you said you'd stay, but you didn't say whether you wanted to."
"Home is where you are, Myka. You've moved and rearranged you're life more than one should be asked for me. It's my turn now. Perhaps you are correct and that I belong here as well. We shall see."
"No one asked me, Helena. I never needed to think about it. That's the part you don't understand. And, you still haven't answered me."
"I don't have any other answer for you, Myka. If you were not a part of me, I don't know that I would, but then if you were not a part of me, I wouldn't be." She looked to the fire for help in collecting her thoughts. She smiled softly at Myka when she eventually turned back. "I'm happy to stay here with you and my family. This is my home. I am unclear as to my function here, but I'll do most anything they wish. Do I want to work out in the field? That's still to be seen. I have my concerns in that regard and I am not clear as to why myself. I only know it does not appeal to me at the moment. It's up to the powers that be to decide if they'll take me under those conditions."
"You're sure you want to stay?"
Helena leaned forward on her knees, resting her forehead on Myka's. "Myka, I need to be with you. That's all I really want. You asked what I saw for my future. I'm looking at it. It's that simple. For once in my life, it really is just that simple."
"I'll go talk to Artie today."
Helena smiled at Myka's need for resolution. She dropped a gentle kiss on Myka's lips, reluctant to let go of the bottom one. "Good. I need a break from here and if you're talking to Artie I can manage that chat with Vanessa." She sat up suddenly, rubbing her face.
"And the nightmare?" Myka questioned hesitantly.
"Perhaps." Myka leaned back into the corner, sighing. "Oh, alright then. Yes, it was about Christina! And unlike you, I do believe it is not a coincidence. Have you seen my chess board lying about?"
Myka sat up with a slight jerk, recovering quickly. Oddly, she'd gotten used to these sudden changes in topic and clearly Helena was not ready to talk. "Uh, no, I haven't. I think it's still packed in one of the boxes in the third room. I know I didn't come across it. I can't imagine Claudia not getting ripped at finding it. She'd probably set it up and dust it every day waiting for you. We only unpacked what we needed and left the rest in there. Take a look. It might be set aside in there." Myka disentangled herself and pushed the coffee table out of the way reaching underneath to grab a flashlight. "Here, take the flashlight and look. I'm going to take a shower. Feel free to join me."
Helena followed Myka up the stairs and turned left down the hall, flashlight in hand. Myka turned from the bedroom and spoke to the shadow in the hallway. "Helena, I don't want to push. I really don't. But, if you don't think it's a coincidence…"
The shadow wavered at the end of the hall, hand on the door knob. She looked over her shoulder at Myka. "I don't think it is. Yes, part of me is avoiding something I'm afraid will reoccur tonight, but the other part of me needs time to collect my thoughts. Maybe it will make more sense. Give me the day? Please?" Myka nodded. "I'll join you in a few minutes."
Claudia was clearing the table off, deck of cards in her back pocket. A bowl of M&M's sat in the middle with four white ramekins around the table. Helena couldn't find her chess set and decided it was too cold to start digging through the numerous unopened boxes.
Abigail grinned over the seriousness in which Claudia was taking with her task. "I need to write this all down again. What color equals what again?"
Claudia looked up, sighing with slight annoyance at having to repeat the values of the chosen booty. She grabbed a pen and pad of paper and handed it over for Abigail to take her notes.
"All browns are 1 cent. Green is 5, yellow is 10, blue is 20 and red is 50. And orange is for munching. Got it? We all start with the same break down. After that, you're on your own. We restock twice if we need to and what you've won becomes yours and gets taken out of play, but watch out for Pete, he'll try to snag some if you don't hide it.
Abigail looked at Claudia skeptically, confused still about the inner dynamics of game play in the house. "I thought poker was banned."
"No, Steve was banned from poker. Kind of like we can play scrabble when HG isn't around or it's the whole fire extinguisher experience again and we're running out of games. It's a delicate matter of appropriate game-people juggling."
"And do I get to keep a calculator nearby?" Abigail laughed at the ridiculousness of their game rules.
"No need. HG has it all in her head."
"And we trust her?" Abigail asked.
"Be forewarned. HG takes her poker very seriously. She won't lie about the figures. She'll know everyone's booty at a glance." Claudia started the coffee and stood overlooking the table, checking to make sure everything was set right before setting the cards down. "So, what's with them, anyway?"
"You know I can't and won't discuss that, Claudia." Abigail was trying to figure out the starting amount in the ramekins. "I can't believe you use M&M's."
"No, not that. Duh. M&M's are easy and have no real monetary value, and Myka can keep pretending she doesn't eat them after HG clears the pot. I mean what's up with the big closed door thing with Myka and Artie? And HG willingly upstairs behind closed doors with the Doc? Never seen that before."
"Don't know. It's none of your business and it's none of mine."
"Well, whatever it is, I hope it's working on area HG."
"Have you talked to Myka, yet?" Vanessa asked from the chair.
There had always been two chairs in their old room. HG never wondered why until now. Thinking back she realized the other one showed up shortly after her arrival and she started spending more time with Myka in the early evenings before going to her own room for the night. They'd quickly moved from the chairs to the more intimate setting of the bed. She'd even happily fallen asleep on occasion. The smiled inwardly; if she'd only known then what her future held. She wouldn't have traded those evenings for anything different.
"Helena?" Vanessa called her back.
She looked up sharply, focusing on the doctor. "I'm sorry, just thinking. No. I told you I wanted a chance to educate myself before plummeting into that discussion. Isn't that part of your job? Educating? I have to say it was rather overwhelming to discover just how much has changed and how little I know. I still find it mind-boggling."
"Well, you know my position on this. You need to talk to her and I'm saying that more as your friend than your physician. That being said, the good news is, after all the diagnostics, my opinion remains the same. I see no reason for you not to have a child; if that is the journey the two of you decide to take. There are risks. As you've pointed out, your age is a factor, but I wouldn't say you should be concerned too much just yet. It just isn't likely to be as easy. Your fertility rate is decreasing as are your chances of conceiving. I don't want that to be a deterrent, but I recommend sooner than later. The risks are only going to increase as you age, too. With that in mind, we are able to monitor you and the fetus fairly well. And I can almost say with some certainty, probably a little closer than I'd have anticipated before. The only concern on my part is that we don't have an accurate medical history from your previous pregnancy. Again, there are no red flags showing, but we don't know what happened during Christina's birth. However, that can be said about a lot of women. Again, with that in mind, I'd want to monitor you closely. I would insist on a hospital delivery based on what you've told me. You're healthy, you eat well, and you're fit. And this time it won't be a surprise. You do need to put some weight on. This last month was hard on you. But, I'm not really concerned. You naturally put the weight back on when you are on a routine diet at home."
Helena sat frowning.
Vanessa leaned forward resting her arms on her knees. "I know this isn't easy for you Helena, but this is pretty good news." The pensive face looked at her and nodded slightly. "Any questions? I know we discussed a lot last month and most of it was pretty foreign to you. I see you're making some dietary changes. Don't you think you should talk to someone first before you start stuffing spinach and kale down her throat?" Vanessa laughed.
Helena smiled at the thought. Myka hated kale. "Of course. I see no reason for waiting on something that is not going to harm me and will only benefit me in the long run. Basic dietary changes are simple enough. I may as well do it regardless, as you've made it quite clear I could do with a little less caffeine and honey rum as it is. Vitamins are an added plus."
Vanessa smiled mischievously, "You've started charting, haven't you?"
"Quite possibly. I've always been good in the journal department." Helena looked out the window at the persevering grayness from the storm.
Vanessa laughed loudly. "So I've heard." She sobered a bit. "You need to talk to her. She's going to notice. Asking for milk was a surprise. You know she's the last person that's not going to notice the little things."
"And I am the last person you need to remind of that little quirk of hers. A bit annoying at times it is."
They shared a knowing look. "Are the books helping?"
"Well, let's just say, I have a lot to learn. Frankly, I'm amazed at the amount of available information. I feel rather ignorant, in fact. Not an area I've needed to investigate before now, nor one that was available previously."
Vanessa chuckled. "It's always good to know how things work. If things get a little muddy you know where I am. Ironically, I could probably learn a thing or two from you."
Helena eyed the doctor, lifting one eyebrow, smirking. "Quite possibly."
Vanessa shook her head. "What am I going to do with you?" She sighed. "Okay. So I've done my part. Now. Talk to her. You're scared and she has no idea what's going on in your head or you hers. She has good reasons for being unsure. Let her in. You know her better than that, and she knows you. Don't rule out she may want to carry the child."
Helena sighed heavily. "Yes, I know."
Vanessa patted Helena's knee, abruptly sitting up ending the conversation. "So what's up with this poker match I heard about?"
Helena roused herself again. "Oh, merely a distraction. The only available chess board seems to be Artie's, which regrettably is at the warehouse and I refuse to play opposite Claudia on a computer. She suggested poker as Steve is spending his day away from all of them."
"It is a little tiring being trapped with this many people. At least you get to leave."
"Yes, and be trapped with one person and a storm of our own."
"Hence, the poker?" Vanessa stood up heading to the door.
"Yes, hence, the poker. We need a break." Helena stood up after the doctor. "Vanessa, is this really possible?" she asked, doubtful.
Vanessa smiled reassuringly at the troubled face studying her. "Physically? Very possible. It's everything else you need to figure out. Which means…"
"Yes, yes, I know. Talk to her," Helena grumbled ducking under the arm holding the door open.
Myka walked behind Helena, gently placing her hands on either shoulder. She leaned down, expressionless. "I'm heading back over," she said quietly, trying not to disturb the game too much. "You staying for awhile, or coming back home soon?"
"I don't know," she said, concentrating on the game. She pulled a card out and called for a new one. "Maybe after this hand. We are running out of M&M's." Pete, Abigail and Claudia eyed each other around the table, as Pete handed the card over. It was now Claudia's turn.
Not wanting to give away how she knew the hand was going to go, Myka avoided looking at the woman's cards and stood straight up not moving her hands. Her thumbs unconsciously sought out the back of the warm neck, rubbing it gently seeking the tight knots. Instinctively, Helena dropped her head forward slightly, shoulders relaxing visibly, sighing. She wasn't always that great of a bluffer.
"I fold," Claudia declared, turning her cards face down on the table.
Pete was next, failing nonchalance. "Me too."
Abigail surprisingly hesitated long enough to get an elbow in the side and jumped. "Me too. I've got…those things to do."
Helena's eyes searched the faces of her adversaries. "It appears I'm coming home now. Shall we collect our winnings for the freezer?" She stood up to get a bag. Claudia threw one across the table receiving an arrogant smile from Helena.
"We aren't stupid. Why do you think we play for M&M's? We'd all be broke if we actually played for real money."
Helena bagged the candy and passed it over to Myka. "It would appear, darling, they know your little secret."
Myka grabbed their coats, holding Helena's open for her. "Let's keep pretending they don't," she whispered over Helena's shoulder.
"Ready to talk about that dream?" Myka asked kicking her boots off.
"You can really be quite pushy you know," Helena complained from the kitchen pulling out two wine glasses. She flipped a light switch and smiled.
"Some people call it persistent."
"At the moment I say pushy." She started to collect the blankets on the floor.
"What are you doing?"
Helena smiled over her shoulder heading up the stairs with her hands full. "Power is back on. I plan to sleep in a bed tonight. You can sleep where ever you'd like. In the mean time, a glass of wine would be very much appreciated."
Myka threw the extra pillows up the stairs and pulled the coffee table out, happy to have order returned and was sitting on the sofa with the two glasses of red wine and the bottle when Helena sat at the opposite side of the sofa. Myka dropped her feet in the woman's lap, who pulled off her socks and started rubbing them, occasionally teasing the bottoms lightly. She knew it irritated Helena that her feet weren't ticklish, but she enjoyed the attention.
"Mmmm. That feels good." Myka closed her eyes leaning back. "I missed this."
"Hmmm?" Distracted, Helena's hand crept up under Myka's leg, lightly scratching her calf.
Myka opened an eye watching the attentive hands play with her feet. "The quiet time."
Helena spun her legs around to lay parallel against Myka, sipping from her glass, preoccupied. "Me too."
"Artie didn't think it would be a problem. He just needs to run it by the big wigs. He seemed to think the only hitch may be the fact that I have a history of leaving and returning and they may question the sincerity of our desire to stay. I'm pretty sure if they say yes, there is no return if we leave again."
"That is, essentially, my fault. I don't think you'd have ever left if I hadn't shown up."
"I'm not going to argue that anymore, so please, don't say that again. We do have to come up with a more concrete plan and we discussed a lot of options. He wasn't sure how they'd take your offer and we'll both be tested. However, the fact that they moved us back and remodeled this place, based on the input of people with a little influence, is in our favor."
"Quite possibly," she responded distracted. "Mrs. Frederic?"
"He didn't say, but I got the idea it was more than one person." She watched Helena stare absently into the fire, drumming her fingers against her glass, a slight ring echoing in the quiet room. "I'm not going to try to keep a stilted conversation going if you don't want to talk. I'm okay with silence."
Helena turned her head facing Myka's concerned gaze. "Hmmm? I'm sorry." She rubbed her hand down Myka's legs, bringing it back to the feet she'd been absently playing with. "I've been trying to figure out the best way to approach this without actually getting into a deep conversation, since selfishly, I admit, I only want a yes or no answer and I don't think that is realistically possible. In addition, you want to know about my nightmare. We both chatted with Abigail, I know. You shared yours with me, so it is only fair that I share mine as well."
"You still think they're connected?"
"No one can say for sure, but it is a rather odd coincidence. I'm quickly tiring of all this conversation. Part of me does merely want to sit in silence and play with your feet. Why is it they never seem to smell when I get them like this?"
Myka burst out laughing, holding her stomach. "That is just plain old dumb luck, sweetie. You forget the other times you say they smell like a sewer pit." She stopped laughing slowly and smiled at her distressed foot rubber. "It is tiring. We can wait if you want."
"I don't think that wise under the present circumstances. The roads should be clear tomorrow and the warehouse will need all of our attentions." She paused, emptying her glass and setting it aside. She picked up the bottle and refilled Myka's glass. "Christina was crying for me as well. In our area of the warehouse. The children were too vague for me to say if they were indeed her cousins, but that may be irrelevant. The floor is constantly a chess board now. Always. And that queen never goes away. It wasn't doing anything. She just stood in the background this time. And, darling," she leaned forward taking Myka's hands, "You were there at the end of an aisle. She was indeed confused and unsure of whom to go to, but why I do not know. Though not a common event, she was not unfamiliar with women in my life. I'd fairly well established my preferences at that point. That's not to say I didn't…well, that also is irrelevant." She sat back taking Myka's feet in her hands.
"So maybe not so coincidental," Myka said slowly. "They're too similar."
"Exactly. Abigail made no opinion one way or the other and I talked to her after you. You don't have to say, but you did mention it this morning. You did discuss your dream, did you not?"
"Yeah."
"In my dream she ran to you, not me and she was a ghost. She never has been before. She left me for you. She beckoned for me to follow, but I couldn't move. Behind me I heard terrifying screams and I couldn't run away from them. You were both begging me to follow, but you faded off and that damned queen stood by. I woke up when I could stand the screams no longer." She wasn't sure when the tears started. Myka opened her arms as she crawled up against her chest, a blanket settling around them. "Myka, I'm afraid to go to sleep."
Curled against her like a toddler in her lap, Myka stroked her face, brushing the tears away and played with a lock of hair. "I can see why you would be. We'll just have to work extra hard at relaxing tonight and we'll deal with it when it comes. It may be a dual evening again. Did Vanessa give you anything? You talked to her too, right?"
"Oh, that was mostly a follow up, but yes, I told her about the recurrence. She's started the same medication. She and Abigail conferred while you sat in with Artie. That was an extended conversation you two had. I won the whole bag, you know."
"I know it's not much consolation, but we've done it before and we'll get through this wave too. The other thing? It can wait, if you want, but I promise I'll try not to turn it into a deep conversation."
"I don't know if you can, dear, since you've tried so many times and I've continued to shove it aside. I have my reasons, but I still don't have an answer for you...yet."
Myka stopped playing with Helena's hair, pushing her own over her shoulder out of the way. She leaned her head back to look in the anxious face, and frowned. She let out a long breath, her mouth left hanging open for some time. She bit her bottom lip and asked slowly in a soft voice, "Do you want to have a child?" she asked.
Helena was biting her own lip, leaving a red mark along the center of it. "No...I'm asking you. Do YOU want to have a child?"
Chapter Text
She let out a long breath, her mouth left open for some time. She bit her bottom lip and asked slowly in a soft voice, "Do you want to have a child?"
Helena was biting her own lip, leaving a red mark along it. "No...I'm asking you. Do YOU want to have a child?"
"Wow. Now that IS a ball busting question. It's easy to answer, and no, it's not easy to not get into a deep conversation about. Why do you want to know if you don't want to really talk about it?"
"I thought perhaps knowing how you really felt would help me understand my own."
"Nope. Not gonna happen." Myka pushed Helena gently away and stood up. She picked up her wine and walked to the window trying to drink it and not spill it at the same time. Dark spots could be seen sporadically between drifts where the wind had blown the snow free from the ground. The morning's dwindling snow had stopped while they were at Leena's and the wind was quickly dropping. The waning light was turning into a bright reflection off of the white dunes of the hard drifts from the rising moon as the sky cleared. Tomorrow the sun would be bright after the long days of grey.
Helena watched in silence digesting the answer, unsure of her own reaction. She picked up her glass and headed for the kitchen. "That's what I thought. You've been a little vague…"
Myka filled her glass again and followed her into the kitchen. "I've been a little vague? Now that IS funny. No. That's not what I meant. I meant no, I'm not telling you. I'm not playing this game anymore, Helena. I have an answer and everyone keeps telling me I need to tell you. My expressing how I felt, what I thought about the idea of raising a child would definitely require what you always want to avoid. The discussion! You have no right to ask me that question and expect me to not discuss it afterward. Not only not discuss it, but not even clue me in to what you want. I can understand the uncertainty, because even knowing what my answer is, I'm still uncertain. You can't do that to us, Helena. I won't allow you to."
Myka set her glass down on the counter firmly, breaking the stem. Helena jumped back, the wine spreading across the counter, running down the front of the cabinet to the floor and spreading into a large, red pool.
"Shit!" Myka grabbed the closest kitchen towel, blood dripping down her arm from the laceration of the meaty flesh of her palm. Wrapping her hand in the towel she jumped out of the pooling wine leaving foot prints across the floor. "Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck!" she yelled.
"Myka, sit down!" Helena yelled over her shoulder as she dove into the pantry for more towels. "You really have been around me too long. You curse nearly as well as I do myself," she added calmly on her way back.
"Here," she said handing Myka a clean towel. "We need to buy gauze. Just hold on and sit still," she said more softly, lightly touching Myka's shoulder as she sat down. Helena threw the soaked towel into the mess on the floor and gently examined the gushing wound, sopping the blood up as quickly as it pooled out of the deep cut with another towel. She placed a folded towel over the wound. "Here's a new one. You know the drill. Put pressure on that. The bad news is, it looks fairly deep and you'll most likely need sutures." She grabbed her phone dialing next door. "The good news is, I don't think there is any glass and there's a doctor in the house. Myka, put pressure on it! Sweetheart, I know it hurts," she muttered into Myka's hair, kissing the top of her head.
She walked into the living room and came back a few minutes later. "Vanessa's on her way over. Alone." Helena slowly pressed Myka's head against her breast, placing another kiss on the top of her head, mumbling into her hair, "I'm so sorry, Myka. I've gone and mucked it all up again, haven't I?"
Myka leaned her forehead into the softness, said barely audible, "No. You just can't expect me to answer that question blindly. Why?"
"I don't know. I'm feeling very pressured for some reason. I'm not getting any younger. As it is I feel like I'm pushing the age barrier a little." Helena hugged her closer.
Myka looked up at her, frustrated. "This is not something that needs to create that kind of stress. And who said you had to be the one to have it? Last I knew I had the same plumbing you did and it seems to be working just fine. You wouldn't have to worry about it so much if you stopped dancing and starting talking. Read between the lines, Helena." Myka urged her to squat in front of her. "Not that you can tell with this bloody towel, and I mean that literally, but this avoidance of discussion has a lot to do with that tan line on my now naked finger."
There was a sharp knock on the door. Helena slowly stood up, her knee making a loud snap. "That'll be Vanessa. You did get rather tanned in Atlanta, didn't you?" She smiled sadly, backing up to the door. "I am sorry," she mouthed turning to open the door.
Vanessa popped in through the door, slightly amused. "Someone call for a doctor? So what exactly have you kids been up to now?" She placed her bag on the table opening it up and grabbing gauze. "Let me see." She took the hand and dabbed the abating blood away. "How many times do I have to tell you two not to play with sharp objects?" She placed the thick gauze on the wound. "Not as deep as I'd anticipated, but that's going to hurt for a few days." She grinned, pulling more stuff out of her bag. "Let's get you cleaned and patched up while your wife," she nodded toward Helena, "cleans that mess up, and she better not cut herself in the process." Vanessa laughed at the glare she managed to invoke. "Yep, I still got it. You're too easy for me, Helena." Vanessa efficiently went about her work, waiting for the wound to numb in the tense room.
The doctor looked from one woman to the other, both avoiding eye contact with each other. She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms, shaking her head, frustrated with their stubbornness. "You two want to talk about it?" she finally asked.
"No," the two women said in unison.
"Okay." She sat up. "Let's flush it out and see what we've got. I think four little guys will do the trick, maybe five. You'll let me know if it hurts." Vanessa pulled out a suture pack. She looked at Myka quickly. "Don't move."
The traveling hand was suddenly revealed as Helena pushed the covers down to her waist. Myka laughed to herself. She'd never understand how someone with constantly cold feet and shivered at the slightest breeze could sleep half covered. Admittedly, she had spoiled herself at the house with the bedroom temperature. She knew that habit had to be broken fast, but it was nice after the past few nights. Helena would soon be back to bundling up with a cooler bedroom.
Given free roam, the backs of her fingers slowly brushed down Helena's torso, stopping to circle her navel. Crossing to stop at each hip bone, she returned the trip with her fingertips.
"You can be quite the tease, you know," Helena whispered with her eyes still shut, a smile creeping across her face.
"Ah-ha. So, you are awake." She circled Helena's breasts, rewarded with a happy sigh.
"One does not sleep when receiving such attentions. When have I ever slept uncovered in the winter? Ah…didn't think that one through, did you? Something you need?" Her smile turned into a devilish grin.
"It passed my mind." Myka leaned down pressing a warm kiss at the pulse point at the base of Helena's neck. A slight frown crossed her face as she traced the finely sculpted collarbone, hesitating ever so slightly at the residual bump on the left side. Helena's own hand brushed aside the curls, her fingers scrapping Myka's scalp as the hand cupped the back of her head.
Myka closed her eyes at the sensations, opening them with a deep frown, finding concerned brown eyes peering up into hers. "Not the best evening. I missed you. I just need to touch you."
Helena took the motionless hand, kissing the knuckles. "How does it feel?"
Myka grimaced, flexing her fingers slightly. "Hurts like a mother."
Helena reached up, pushing the rogue hair back. "I see. And your plans were what, exactly?" she asked.
"I need to touch you. I didn't realize how much I'd gotten used to you always being there until I got shuffled away. I don't know if I can do that again, Helena."
"Well, I certainly have no plans of extensive travels so it looks as if extended separation is now in your hands. First, we must be offered our stay. I'd rather we not worry about that now, but tomorrow," she said cupping Myka's face in her hands, caressing the damp cheeks with her thumbs. Pulling Myka down, she kissed her softly and whispered into her ear, "and I thought you had other needs."
Myka pressed her forehead against Helena's. "I wasn't talking about sex."
"Nor am I," she whispered. "Profound intimacy, yes. Sex…no. It's been far too long."
Myka rested back on her elbow, suddenly interested in Helena's right arm now resting across her ribs, tracing its length.
"How do you know these things?" she asked sullenly.
"I don't know. I do wish you would stop putting so much thought into it." Helena gently took the bandaged hand, now exploring on her own. "I love you. That is all I care about."
"Will we ever get it back? I mean really get it back? I miss it." Myka looked into her eyes, searching to fill the empty space, her hand spreading palm to palm with Helena's.
"As do I and I don't know. But, I'm not going to let it interfere with what I do have because to do so would be risking losing you altogether." She forcibly rolled Myka over, observant of the newly injured palm. "Now about this expedition you so generously offered..."
She straddled Myka's hips slipping her hands under the tee shirt, pushing it up slightly, deliberating over the warm, soft skin. Leaning down, she brushed her lips up the side of Myka's neck to her ear. "I noticed you've kept the heat up in the bedroom, the power has returned and we now have that electric blanket, not to mention my returned body heat. Sooo, why exactly is it you are wearing a tee shirt and," she looked down the length of the body below her, "and yes. The drawstring shorts?" She glanced down again, then back searching Myka's eyes curiously. "You still have those? I thought you got rid of them."
Myka's hands traveled up the back of Helena's neck, fingers weaving through the thick hair up into the back of Helena's head. With parted, smiling lips, she swept across the nearest cheek. "Sometimes, I like the undressing part. Especially now." She lightly drew her hands down the length of Helena's back. "And these are you're favorite shorts, dolt. Abigail fixed them for me."
Helena shot up surprised and then smiled. "Her secret is safe with me," she said reaching down and pulling the tie undone.
"And that's the final offer? We agree on this plan?" Helena murmured into Myka's back, nuzzling the soft spot between her shoulders. She readjusted her legs, pulling herself more tightly along the long body.
The banging of the front door and its subsequent slamming shut disrupted Myka's thoughts before she could answer. "Go away, Claudia!"
"Come on. We need help shoveling. There's a butt load of snow and we need to check on the warehouse. Artie wants all hands on deck. It's been like three days."
"Go away! We're having a discussion here. Do you want that cloud to go away?" Myka shouted as Helena ignored the intrusion, expecting Claudia to turn around. She was placing wet kisses along Myka's back into the nape of her neck when the partially closed bedroom door swung open.
Claudia stopped short at the door, quickly backing out. "Oh, geez. Do you guys ever stop? Isn't the honeymoon like over yet or something?"
Helena growled quietly into Myka's neck, muffled by hair. "That's it. That's bloody well it. No more."
She threw off what little covers they had over them and jumped out of the bed. Naked, she bounded out the door, her body seeping anger.
"I no longer have patience for this," she seethed, grabbing Claudia's arm and pulling it tightly behind her back. Her fingers dug deeply into the other shoulder through the thick jacket as she started to push the woman down the stairs. "I love you dearly and unconditionally, Claudia, but I have put up with your incessant interruptions into our private life long enough."
"Hey, it's not my fault you don't lock your door," Claudia complained. "There's a lot of snow out there to shovel."
"Then leave us our share. There is a very distinct difference between locking a door and knocking on one. Locking is not a requirement for knocking," Helena hissed in the girl's ear. "I have had quite enough of your complete disregard for our privacy. And believe me, there will soon be a lock on that door that you will never be able to break. We are desperately trying not only to sort out our present situation and future but yours as well, in part with your insistence."
"That didn't look to me like you were really talking things over."
They made it to the bottom of the stairs. Irked by the comment, Helena yanked a bit harder on Claudia's arm continuing their trek to the door. "Do not question our methods, Claudia. There is a fine line between intimacy and sex and very often the two blend together rather nicely. You would also be surprised by how much intimacy can occur within the confines of conversation and discussion that has little to do with sex. Something you have yet to learn. That is why you knock on doors, especially those belonging to a couple involved in an intimate relationship such as the one in this particular house. Yelling and screaming at each other is not the only way in which we resolve our issues, especially under the present circumstances. Something I thought you would appreciate at the moment. If you really must know, we have not had sex since Christmas and we are far from the bonking bunnies everyone seems to think we are." She opened the door wide. "Now. Do not enter my home again without a very clear invitation if you wish to remain unharmed!" She pushed her off the porch steps into the deep, soft snow bank to the side. "I highly recommend you do not test me on that statement. You've pushed me once far too often. Is that understood?"
Not waiting for an answer from the prone body in the snow, Helena slammed the door throwing the lock.
"Bonking bunnies?" Myka laughed from the top of the stairs wrapped in the sheet. "You didn't hurt her, did you?"
Standing naked in the middle of the floor, panting and flushed, she looked up at her laughing partner. "I may have strained her arm a bit and bruised a shoulder, but she remains alive."
"You have to apologize you know. That was a little harsh, especially coming from you. She's not Pete, sweetie."
"Me apologize? How many more rude intrusions into our private domain must we endure? She could have just called! I have been more than patient with her. We've talked to her, I've set traps for her, we've asked, I've yelled. What more must we do? Why is it so difficult for her to separate us from the rest of the world? She wouldn't barge in on anyone else here, would she? Why us? You and I both know, I've been far from reticent in regards to my sexuality in the past, but she has interrupted our more intimate relations single handed far more than anyone I've ever met in my whole life. Amusing as it has been on occasion, I do not wish to share those moments I have with you. It is one thing if we are discovered in a corner somewhere at our own risk. It is quite another when someone walks in on us in our own home!"
Myka sat down on the top step and closed her eyes, sighing heavily dreading this conversation. It was not going to be easy to convince Helena she needed to apologize. Patting the space beside her on the top of the stairs, she opened the sheet around her in invitation. "Come here. You're stark naked in the middle of the living room and I can see you're cold from here." She smiled.
Ascending the stairs, Helena sat down beside Myka, getting wrapped tightly in the sheet. She dropped her head in her hands and threw her head back in frustration, pushing her hair out of her face. "How's your hand this morning?"
"It'll be fine. Now, I understand how you feel, and I am in total agreement about Claudia's lack of respect of our boundaries. No, I don't know why it's such an issue. I warned her long ago not to push you too far. She just can't see it. Maybe it has to do with the whole warehouse thing she sees revolving around the three of us. I don't know, but you're right. Granted, it was slightly amusing, as well as embarrassing at first, but, yeah, there comes a time when you just can't take it anymore. I get that. But you can't just yank her arm behind her like a thug. Though I have to admit, part of me kind of enjoyed it." Myka chuckled at the vision of a naked Helena escorting Claudia out the door.
Myka hugged the thin frame closer to her when she felt a shiver. "Part of the frustration, beyond the obvious, I think stems from the fact that when we went to Atlanta we finally experienced us as just us; no one else around, no one budding in, no one barging in. We pretty much got to do what we wanted, when and where we wanted, like normal people without having to look over our shoulder or worry about locking the bedroom door, which we have now in case you haven't noticed."
Helena eyed her suspiciously before dropping her head back on her shoulder with a heavy sigh. "No one else lives here. I have no need to shut our bedroom door, let alone lock it!"
"Two words: my parents." Myka laughed at the horrified expression on Helena's face. She pulled the tortured head back on her shoulder. "Now, on top of that, Claud's had free access to me for four weeks, and I have to admit that I kinda liked it. It was a lot like before you existed. She filled in part of that uncertain gap that you left when you weren't here. She was there when I had nightmares and she was there every other night when I cried myself to sleep because my bed was cold again and I didn't know if you'd make it back. I think that short change in our relationship, between her and me, has a lot to do with her actions. So yeah, you have to apologize and I need to remind her of the changes we've been dealing with. Claudia doesn't really do quick people changes well. You both need to clear the air. Civilly."
"What?"
"You heard me. You both need to apologize."
"Myka…"
"Helena…" She bumped the thin shoulder. "And she needs to make you breakfast. You're still too thin. I swear having kids would be easier than dealing with you two sometimes, and I don't know the first thing about kids. Come on. Let's get dressed and you can help shovel. Wait a minute, you're not allowed to do that yet. Do what you can to help and I'll touch base with Artie. I'm getting a little claustrophobic and it'll be good to get some fresh air. Don't hurt anyone!"
"Already? You sliced open your hand last night, no thanks to me. You have five sutures. How can he do that? You only talked to him yesterday. We only decided on a plan this morning," Helena ranted, pacing up and down the aisle, her head down and one hand on her hip.
Myka stepped in front of her, placing a hand in the center of her chest, effectively stopping her. Helena looked up, tossing her hair back.
Myka shrugged. "It's still on the table being considered. But in the mean time, Helena, this is what you said I needed to do and I agree. It's what we do. There is no reason to wait. The hand is fine. It's not like I've never gone out injured before. Hey, maybe it's a good omen and I won't get hurt out there." She smiled at the annoyed face looking at her. "You used to go out hurt all the time. Hell, you've been running around for a month with a post-surgical hand."
"I know, but that's me, not you," Helena griped.
"Excuse me? What's that got to do with it?" Myka couldn't help but grin despite her defensive words.
"Oh, I don't bloody well know. It sounded good at the time." Helena slumped away down the aisle.
Myka laughed at the absurdity, following the woman into their section. Helena slowly joined her mirth, sitting on one of the crates and pulling Myka down beside her. "I suppose that did sound a tad bit ridiculous, didn't it?"
"Kind of, but I love you for it." She searched Helena's face, unable to read her expression. She took her hand, stroking the back of it with her thumb. "It's times like these I really miss that stupid freaky thing. I used to be able to feel something from you and now…now it's like empty space. We're in that place with no words where that connection always took over."
"I'm worried about you being out there, Myka, even though I know that's where you belong."
"I know. So is Artie, and so are the Regents. And Vanessa is bitching at him about the hand too. They all have their doubts. They want to throw me right into it. I think I'm starting to understand what Artie's grumbling about complications really means and it's not what we always thought." She turned, her lips hovering over the adjacent shoulder before softly kissing it. "But, hey, it's another day of who knows what's going to happen. Who can say no to that?"
"I never could. I'm not so sure now." Helena looked around her and then up. "It doesn't appear that we've made much progress. So much still lingers."
"Oh, I wouldn't say that. It's less turbulent. We have a better idea of what we're dealing with. We're turbulent in a good way, still in the rapids, but I see the calm over the boulders every once in awhile." Her forehead wrinkled slightly and she looked down at the hand she held. "Both rings?" she asked, confused.
Helena attempted to pull her hand back, but Myka held on to it tightly. "Believe what you want. They belong together. If not through us, than with me. I know one day it will join us properly. Until then…there it remains, though a bit loose now."
Myka stood up looking around one last time. She nodded at a crate. "Are you going to open it?"
"I don't know. It doesn't belong here. However, I've at least found it." Helena wandered over running her hands along the sides. "That's where you sat, isn't it? Where we just were?"
Myka nodded. "It gave me hope you were coming home. Don't know why. She'll always be a part of you." She joined Helena, wrapping her arms around her from behind and resting her chin on a shoulder. "I've got to go, Pete's waiting."
Helena stroked the face resting against her own. "The 'A' team is back again. They all know I'm down here throwing a right fit, don't they?"
"Quite possibly." Myka smiled hugging her. "They'll leave you alone. The Minoan glare still scares them. Gotta go. Watch our backs from here and put that brace back on. Claudia's counting on your help." Myka walked out of the fenced in area, turning around at the gate.
"Hey, Helena?" she called.
"Yes, Myka." Helena turned around to face her.
"'The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched,'"
Helena's worried expression softened into a sad smile. "'They can only be felt with the heart.'"
Kicking her boots off, Myka looked over at the two heads bent over the coffee table, seemingly oblivious to her presence. She noisily hung her coat up, starting to whistle. "I'm home." She threw her bag at the bottom of the stairs to be sorted through.
"Yes, I know. We felt that cold air when you opened the door and you're making the most irregular racket," Helena commented without a move, studying her student's next move. "Sounded like you had a good time. I assume you let Pete drive home. No speeding tickets I hope. I always seem to be held responsible for them somehow." She sighed loudly, rolling her eyes. "Claudia, do rethink that move." She looked up with a quick smile and a quick kiss before turning her attention back to the board. "How's your hand holding up?"
"Good time? I'm still flying. Hand still hurts, but everything's still intact. I'll live. See you two made up." Myka frowned at the board. Reaching a cold hand out, she gently cupped Helena's chin and pulled the reluctant face towards her. "It's been three days. As happy as I am for you that you finally found it, I'm not going to come second to a game of chess." She leaned down demanding a more satisfying, tasteful welcome home. "New house rule," she said softly with a smile, releasing the chin. She glanced over at Claudia who was now making a point of watching out the window. "Sorry, Claud. Think you'd be used to it by now."
"Point taken," Helena breathed, chin still held in Myka's hand. Reluctantly, she drew her attention back to the game away from the seductive eyes smiling at her.
Myka sat down on the sofa close to Helena watching the players' intense concentration on the board. Claudia sat in her usual place on the floor, legs crossed, one arm crossed in front of her, and her head held up with her hand of the other arm resting on the table. Myka leaned fully against Helena, resting her chin on the slender shoulder and watched through the next five moves in the fixed silence.
"Why are you always white again?" Myka asked Helena, breaking the silence.
"Need to know basis," Claudia mumbled the answer for her opponent, "and you should know. Get with the program." She moved the dark knight, swearing when it was immediately knocked down.
"How many times must I tell you to watch your knights? You've been playing with Artie far too often. You've gotten complacent," Helena grumbled.
Claudia glared at Helena over the table. "Who the hell else did I have to play with while you were farting around the world. Pete makes it to 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' and we all know what he's going to throw!"
Myka sighed, bored with the process. Continuing her false interest she rested her hand at the base of Helena's back, fingers intuitively exploring the plane of the soft shirt. Why was Claudia here? She slowly sneaked her hand under the soft shirt, stroking warm skin, grinning when she felt the goose bumps rising under her fingers. She leaned back casually, sneaking her hand below Helena's waistline at the gap of the jeans, appreciating the slight stiffening back as she caressed a sensitive, yielding backside.
Helena calmly moved her rook. With a disgusted grunt, Claudia leaned back on her hands, eyes never leaving the board. Myka felt Helena's breaths change to an even, deep, controlled rhythm. With the lightest touch, Myka dragged her index finger up the woman's spine, slipping it under her bra strap and released the garment with one quick, smooth move. Thank you, Pete, she reluctantly thought. God, I can't believe that just went through my head.
"Claudia, it's time for you to go. We can finish at a later date," Helena said nonchalantly, eyes still focused on the board. Myka's fingers continued to doodle across the expanse of the smooth, quickly tensing back leaning toward the table, circling the occasional mole.
"We are no way near the end and I'm not giving up this fast. This is the first time we've played in, like forever." Claudia wrapped her arms around her legs, confused. HG rarely stopped mid-game.
"Claudia…" Helena raised her eyes up, looking straight into the confused woman's eyes.
Claudia looked from Helena and then to Myka. Myka cocked her head to the side, eyes bright and a big, mischievous grin spreading across her face, her arm still hidden behind Helena's body.
Jumping up quickly, eyes wide with sudden comprehension, Claudia started babbling, "Right. It's time for me to go. Have some stuff to do. Need to find something, you know."
"Good-bye, Claudia," Myka smirked, watching her opening the door. Before the door closed, her head was grabbed and she became the recipient of a surprise, full frontal attack with a hard, open mouthed kiss, her front teeth clashing against Helena's.
Helena, already topless, pulled Myka down with her on the sofa, a foot hitting the coffee table and knocking the remaining pieces off the board. "You are so evil sometimes. You have no more than five minutes, hand be damned, to finish what you started," she panted, struggling to unzip her stubborn jeans. She'd misjudged her proximity to the edge of the furniture and landed on the floor with a solid oomph, Myka following the momentum.
Catching herself on the table, Myka started laughing on all fours above her frustrated lover. "One of these days, one of us is going to crack our head open on that table. Can't wait to explain that one."
Helena's eyes bored through the laughing green ones above her. "Four minutes!"
Chapter Text
"Are you still…what was it you said? Flying?" Helena asked coyly. She held Myka loosely, fingers slowly playing across her shoulder and arm, her hand drifting periodically to caress the flushed face.
"Cloud nine," Myka murmured dreamily against the crook of her neck. Myka suddenly erupted into a fit of giggles. "Five minutes?"
"A challenge well met, my dear," Helena joined in the mirth, hugging her closer.
"That was no challenge," Myka accused. She crawled over her, settling fully on top and traced the curling lips. "That was a demand," she whispered, tickling Helena's ear.
"And one I shall be certain to remember in the future when you decide to ply such audacious methods upon me." Helena's eyes were bright with amusement, scraping her nails up Myka's back to her shoulders. "Darling, you do get heavy at times like these. You are crushing me at the moment," Helena grunted, flipping her over. Their positions reversed, she settled slightly to the side, leaning on her elbow. She played with the rogue locks of hair looking into an arrogant face she so rarely saw. She caressed Myka's cheek, softly kissing her, feathering a kiss on each eyelid and returning to her mouth for a slower, much deeper kiss. "That electric blanket is no substitute for your warmth." Her smile faded with a long, quiet sigh as she settled on her back, staring into the blur above her. "This is just the beginning, isn't it?" she asked looking back.
Confused, Myka frowned, cocking her head slightly. "Beginning of what?" Myka asked, brushing the falling hair behind Helena's ear.
"Oooh," Helena sighed heavily, rolling onto her back again, resting her head on her arm. "Of the cold, lonely nights." She turned her head facing Myka. "I fear I'm getting a taste of my own medicine, as they say. I am getting ever so vague a sense of what I put you through. At least I get the advantage of being back here on this side of things. You didn't. I'm so sorry."
"Helena, I know it's not easy, but I'm trying not to dwell on any of that anymore and you shouldn't either. The future, remember? The cold, lonely nights suck for both of us, but we're just doing our job and its the regular kind, sort of, since it's not really official. Artie did say I would be called out a lot though. He's got something up his sleeve and he's not saying."
"I'd already considered that. He was very evasive with me. More so than usual." Helena's stomach rumbled, making them both laugh. "Well done, my love. Not only have you nearly worn me out, you've once again succeeded in creating a voracious appetite, in more ways than one." With a quick kiss, she jumped out of bed looking around the floor. "Where are my clothes?" she asked, grabbing Myka's blue shirt.
Myka sat up leaning back on her elbows rolling her eyes, dumbfounded. She threw a pillow at her. "Downstairs, you dolt. Remember? Where this all started?"
"Ah, yes. And how did we get up here, again?" Helena asked perplexed, her stomach growling again.
"I carried you!" Myka exclaimed. "You were a little preoccupied at the time, but my back is sure to remember. Where are you going?"
"To get something to eat, of course. I told you, I'm famished. I think there's some leftover spaghetti and meatballs in the refrigerator. Oh, and I bought a new jar of pepperoncini and found kimchi. Ooohh, and seasoned seaweed." She smiled. "The cupboards are stocked now," she shouted, running down the stairs.
Myka fell back onto the bed, covering her eyes with her arm. "Why can't you eat normal food after having sex?" she yelled, knowing Helena couldn't hear her, when her own stomach growled. She got up grabbing her robe. "I'm not eating kimchi right now," she mumbled to herself trotting down the stairs, "Or seaweed."
"Mmmm… are you sure you don't want any? I thought you liked it?" Helena grabbed another full fork and passed the bowl over in front of Myka.
Myka cringed away from it, pushing the kimchi back. "I do like it. I just don't want any right now. We do have some zucchini relish somewhere," she said sarcastically. "What did you eat at times like this before you were bronzed?"
Helena shrugged, finishing off the bowl and dove into the spaghetti, swirling the cold pasta around her fork. She stopped mid-swirl for a moment before continuing, "No one has ever had this effect on me before," she pondered. She sat back in the straight-backed chair, bringing her knees up and resting her heels on the edge of the chair. She pointed a meatball on the end of her fork at Myka, accentuating her next words. "Only you." She popped the meat ball in her mouth and stabbed the fork deep into the pasta. "Mostly, I was more interested in getting them out of my bed so I could sleep, or finish off what they were unable to accomplish." She smiled brazenly and popped the fork in her mouth, a loose strand of pasta leaving a streak of red along her chin. "Is it the spicy relish?" she asked suddenly.
Myka watched fascinated, eating a bowl of cereal. "Probably. It's in the pantry. Will you please tell me, and don't give me the same answer you always do; why are you always white and Claudia is black? Aren't you cold? It's like 5 degrees out and the only thing you're wearing is my shirt, which I have to admit is a little more than distracting with you sitting like that."
Helena smirked brazenly, lifting an eyebrow."Is that so? I'm freezing, actually." She picked up the rest of the spaghetti and the glass of milk and wandered into the living room. She picked up her clothes pulling on her jeans, throwing everything else in a pile to the side of the sofa before wrapping up in the blanket. "You surprise me, Myka. You really don't know?" she asked, watching Myka pick the fallen chess pieces off the floor, diligently setting them up in place on the marble board for the next match.
Myka settled in under the blanket, stealing the last meatball. "No, I really don't. I wouldn't be asking if I knew."
Setting the empty bowl on the table, Helena guided Myka up against her chest and between her legs. "That day we argued, when my chess set..," Myka turned her head around quickly scoffing at the choice of words. "Alright, the day we fought and the board shattered against the wall, you replaced it and the lost queen. It was the first thing you ever gave me. It was the white queen, Myka. I've never played with that set since with any other piece than that queen. I'm always white because of you, Myka. You are my queen. It is a part of you. It's as simple as that."
"But you gave it to Claudia before we left."
"I know. And now that I am truly home, she will return it. I knew there would be no one else I was likely to find to match my skill, and no I'm not being arrogant and you know it. It was Claudia that searched for that set and brought it out of hiding. Well hidden it was, I assure you. Not only was it the first time she ever stood up to me, but she had no intention of backing down. Poor thing was shaking in her shoes, but her eyes were fierce with determination. She humbled me that day and no one else can I think of deserves the right to protect it. She earned that right. Claudia understands why I'll always play white. It was the primary reason I conceded to teach her. I think somehow I always knew we would come back. That queen, like you, is my anchor."
Helena felt Myka shake against her, chuckling. "You really are a sentimental old fool, aren't you?"
"I am not old! I'm only a century or so older." Myka snorted. "And no fool am I, either! Very few material things in this world hold any sentimental value to me; that is one of them. That gesture of yours meant more to me than anything at the time." Helena readjusted her shoulder dislodging Myka from her comfortable position. "I need to get that key back, too," she grumbled.
Myka rolled on her side, closing her eyes, listening to the steady thump of Helena's heart. It would be so easy to fall asleep like this. Even with Pete speeding home, it was a long ride. Sleep, she thought. Her eyes flew open. "How are the nightmares? Did you have Claudia stay with you?"
"No change really. The brotherhood has decided to join the fun and games though," Helena told her ruefully. "And, no, I wasn't going to ask Claudia to stay. She only just started talking to me again. Artie threw us in storage. Apparently we were not as 'team oriented' as he wanted."
Myka shook her head. Abigail had once put a scoreboard on the outside to keep track of who was thrown in, when, and how long. Helena had decided to prove the point it was not she and Myka as often as everyone thought it was. So far she was right.
"Wait a minute. Get back to this brotherhood thing." Myka sat up looking at her.
"Oh, yes. Well, the dream itself has changed a bit. One of the brotherhood has his cryptic moment now, standing at the end of the aisle. I don't really see him, I just know he's there. Let me think…something about broken seals and queens playing. Like most dreams, it makes absolutely no sense. I'm sorry, that's all I remember. Oh, but I know, just perhaps we can play the dream game again tonight," she added sardonically.
"Every night," Myka guessed.
"Afraid so. This is why we are down here and not up there. I'm afraid to go to sleep, Myka."
Myka knew it was a significant admission on Helena's part and she wasn't going to say her own dreams remained equally disturbing.
"Well, I'm home now and you're awfully cute in my shirt." She stood up holding out her hand. "Let's try a back rub and see if we can get you to sleep. You can tell me what you've been playing with under our cloud of gloom and doom."
"I haven't had time. You three kept us too busy. Maybe tomorrow. I know there's something in there." Helena let Myka pull her up. "I like the idea of a mutual back rub better," Helena commented following her up the stairs, "or frontal even."
"I've heard there's a connection between nightmares and weird food..." Myka joked.
"I don't eat weird food," Helena complained.
"Sweetie, I've repeatedly witnessed what you eat after we've had sex. It's weird."
"Is not."
"Is to."
"Is not."
"Whatever…give me my shirt back."
It was the third quiet groan that finally cut through the fog in her head. Opening her eyes in the dim light she managed to roll over, surprised to stare at Myka's bare back far across the bed, a filmy sheen down its length. She groaned again, curling into a tighter, fetal position.
"Myka? What's wrong?" She quickly slid over to the other side, a slight panic rising in her chest, reaching out a tentative hand to touch the clammy shoulder.
"Don't touch me," Myka choked out in a whimper.
"Oh," Helena breathed out a relieved but resigned sigh. "Very bad, then?"
"Oh, yeah." Myka breathed through another wave of pain.
"Well, at least it's finally you getting some Lamaze practice for once and not me," Helena commented, attempting to lighten the situation. It was rare Myka experienced such severe cramps, but when she did it was nearly debilitating and didn't want to be touched.
"Not funny. Your job," Myka mumbled.
Helena ignored the statement getting out of bed. She managed to slip on her sweatshirt on her way to the other side of the bed. Attempting to step into her holey jeans, her foot slid into one of the holes and she tripped, falling flat on the floor in front of Myka. "Don't make me laugh," Myka grunted.
Helena shimmied into the jeans and kneeled down before the face crunched up in pain. "Sorry. It wasn't exactly my first choice of graceful acts. I am, however, thoroughly awake now." She kissed the wrinkled forehead gently. "Be right back."
She rummaged through the bathroom, swearing, not finding what she wanted, still unfamiliar with the renovations.
"Myka?" Helena pleaded from the bathroom, pressing her hands against the door frame on either side, her shadow crossing the bed.
"Downstairs."
"Right. I'll start some tea, too. Just…hold on." She headed out the door.
"Not going anywhere," she grumbled into the pillows.
Helena turned the stove on under the kettle and continued her feverish search for the ibuprofen in the small bathroom. "Damn it!" Three drawers later she located the half-full bottle. Grabbing Myka's water bottle from the fridge she sprinted up the stairs.
"Myka? I've got it. Can you sit up for me?" She put her arm under the woman's head, tipping it up slightly and handed her the pills and water. "No, you need to drink more water than that. Now come on. Down with it."
Myka glared at her, reluctantly drinking more water. She grimaced through another wave of pain as Helena eased her back down. "Wow. It's not like this very often," she breathed again, rolling back on her side.
"Well, I think we should be thankful for that. I can't imagine you suffering through this every month. I've got the water on for tea." Helena rubbed the creased forehead gently. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. Yes, I know…don't touch you," she growled in frustration, reluctantly taking her hand away. "It is ever so hard, you know," she complained sympathetically.
"Yes, I do. You don't like to be touched either and you get them more than me."
"This is true, but never too this degree. I'll just pop down for that tea. The ibuprofen should start to help soon I hope. Be right back."
Ten minutes later Helena was back, chamomile tea in hand with a splash of whiskey and honey. She leaned against the door frame and smiled. She should have expected it. It happened every time she didn't feel well. Myka had already rolled over to the right side of the bed and wrapped herself around Helena's pillows, finally drifting off again. She set the tea on Myka's night stand and went to the guest room to grab the extra pillows, grabbed her book and settled in next to Myka, covering the damp body before she got chilled. Leaning over, she placed a soft kiss on the side of her head and rubbed the pained wrinkles away from the forehead of the relaxing body falling deeper into sleep. Pulling up her knees, she placed the book up against them drinking the tea, allowing herself to be pulled into another world, hoping at best to doze off.
Helena's light sleep broke when she heard the Farnsworth on the furthest dresser. She eased herself out of bed, quickly reaching for the device, looking to see that Myka still slept. She tripped over her jeans on the floor in her haste out the door, catching herself against the office door when her knee cracked against the edge. Swearing, she flipped the annoying object open.
"Problem?" Artie inquired staring back at the flustered face.
"Nothing that an ice pack won't take care of," she snapped, rubbing her knee. "We certainly have plenty of those. What do you want?"
"Where's Myka?" He watched as the consternation crossed her face and she turned her head looking at something.
She ran her hand through her hair refocusing. "Yes. She's not very well at the moment. Anything I can do?"
"Tell her to get better and fast. I need to send her and Pete out," he barked back.
"Ah. I see. Well, can't Steve or Claudia go instead?" she asked looking to the side again.
"Steve left after dinner solo and I need Claudia here. So, no, they can't. Just wake her up or whatever and send her over."
"Look, Artie, that's not going to very well happen over the next 24 hours I'd say." Once again she looked at her sleeping partner knowing she'd be waking soon in need of another dose of Ibuprofen.
"Artifacts don't wait 24 hours," Artie rubbed his forehead, "Especially this one."
"Fine. I'll go," Helena declared with a heavy sigh, glaring at the ceiling.
"I thought you said you didn't want anything to do with this?" he asked looking at her skeptically.
"Well, it doesn't exactly look as if we really have another option at the moment, does it?" she quietly snapped back, frustrated. "I'm cleared for the field. Consider it a moment of temporary insanity on my part to come out of retirement. We all know my personal experience in that department and Myka is not bloody well going! I'll meet Pete in 15 minutes. I have no bloody idea where anything is, so it will take a bit longer for me to find what I need. Now, is Claudia there? I need to speak to her...privately, please." Helena's insistence caught Artie off guard and he handed the Farnsworth over to Claudia.
"Claudia, are you alone?" Helena asked, not completely trusting Artie.
"Uh, hold on." Helena heard the bickering on the other side and smiled when a door slammed. "Yeah, I'm alone. What's up?"
"You are still able to work remotely from here, correct?" Helena looked into the bedroom again, hearing Myka waking in pain again.
"Yeah, we built in a sweet set up with the remod. Why? What's going on?"
"Nothing major, just a bit sensitive. Quickly now, I need you to check in on Myka for me…"
"Here you go," Helena handed the pills and water over again. "I'm sorry I forgot to put the water back in the refrigerator, but I don't think you very much care about that at the moment. I'll put it back on my way out." She kneeled down in front of the pained face. "It's quite bad this time, isn't it, Myka? I know how it's been before and I honestly don't remember it this severe before." She struggled not to touch the woman, knowing it provided the opposite of comfort for her.
"Was last month, too," she grunted into the pillow, burying her face.
"Really? That's unusual. Perhaps we should call Vanessa." Helena's worried voice hung in the air.
"It's just cramps. I'll be okay. I already have an appointment anyway. I'm due for my physical. I'll tell her then."
"Sweetheart, I'm really sorry I have to go. Claudia is going to check on you for me. Keep your phone close, okay? I hate when you don't feel well." Ignoring Myka's protest, she took her hand, kissing her fingers and rubbing her cheek against them. "Now, just where is my field bag and everything else I'll need that goes into it?"
"I can't believe you're doing this," Myka grumbled. "It's in the closet in the unfinished room. It's all packed except for fresh clothes. I never emptied it. Just double check it first to make sure I didn't miss something."
"I have no other option. Remember? You are my priority, especially when you don't feel well." She smiled tapping the tip of Myka's nose before she stood up to find her bag. "I doubt you've forgotten anything. You've probably packed it for me more often than I have myself."
Helena dropped her bag at the door. Fighting not to sit on the bed, she kneeled down again staring at the closed eyes. "I hate leaving you like this."
"You've done it before," Myka murmured, face scrunching again.
"I hated it then, too," Helena lamented. She leaned forward placing a soft kiss on the forbidden lips. "You know, there is another more natural and very effective alternative way to deal with your situation that I'd have been more than happy to help you with," she whispered in Myka's ear, smirking. Eyes bright with mischief, brushing her lips across Myka's, she husked, "One of us did not live with the luxury of ibuprofen. Endorphins are a wonderful thing and definitely one of my favorite discoveries. Some things have not changed all that much." She leaned back with a deep sigh. "Unfortunately, even with my expertise we don't have enough time."
"That's my charming, egotistical girl. Always trying to find a way to get into my pants," Myka smiled weakly before grimacing in pain again. "Sometimes I really hate being a girl," she whined.
Helena laughed. "Well, I for one am very pleased that you are." She stole another kiss. "I love you, Myka Ophelia Bering. I promise to come home soon. Pete will make sure of that. Now, I must go." She stood up heading to the door. "Be nice to Claudia. She means well. And keep that suggestion of mine in your head."
Helena picked up her bag, taking another worried look at the bed from the door. "Myka, you really are the Bering to my Wells."
"Good. You're the Wells to my Bering. Now go. I'll be fine. It's just cramps. Pete is waiting and you're already late. You can tell me all about your big adventure when you get home."
"You don't have to be here, you know. It's not like it's never happened before," Myka grumbled into Helena's pillows, preferring to be left alone.
Claudia handed her another dose and the cold water from the other side of the bed, leaning back into the pile of pillows Helena had left behind from the early morning. "Well, yeah, I know, but I promised HG. She's a nervous wreck when you're sick. More so this morning."
"I'm not sick," Myka griped swallowing the pills and drinking half of the water before Claudia got on her case.
"Might as well be. You function better when you have a cold. I've known you for how many years now? I've never seen you like this. I live with the freaking bottle in my hand. You're even breaking into a cold sweat. You got hit hard last month, too." Claudia looked at her friend's back, in the same place she was when she'd arrived an hour ago.
"Great. Anyone else want the play by play of my female plumbing?"
"Don't need to worry, Mykes. The only reason I know is I had to cover for you last month and spent half the day with you too. HG's just worried. Speaking of which…" Claudia picked up her phone from the night stand at a soft ring, reading the text. "She wants to know how you're doing." Claudia looked down at her still curled around Helena's pillows.
"I'm fine. I have cramps. I'll live," Myka grumbled, inhaling the scent of the pillow she buried her face into.
"Oookaaay. That translates into," her fingers started to fly across the phone, "'Hugging your pillows and still cranky. I'm not you.'" She hit send.
"You did not just do that." Myka turned her head around to look up into diabolic eyes. She rolled her eyes, burying her face back into the pillow. "You can leave now."
"Nah. I'll work better here. Artie's a bear after Vanessa leaves and he's not really comfortable about HG being out in the field. Grumbling about 'complications' and 'unknowns'." She paused, unsure how much she should admit knowing. "It was the Regents' call, you know. They've been pushing him to throw her out there and this was the perfect opportunity that he didn't want to use."
"I know. I've accepted what she fights against. I know they want her back out there, and we all know it's what she lives for, at least now, but they don't trust that we are not each other's weakest link. She's afraid she'll like it too much. She needs to find her place on her own."
"Yeah." Claudia sat thinking. She already knew the answer. "It'll work out. Can I use your desk? It's not a, uh…"
"Disaster area? Sure. It kills me. She knows where everything is. I think some of hers is migrating onto mine again. I'm starting to regret moving them front to front."
"Yeah, right. Like I believe that one." Claudia's phone dinged again as she was getting off the bed. "Uh, she wants to know if you threw up yet. You're not going to, right?" Claudia asked nervously, the color starting to drain from her face. No one said anything about vomit when she said yes to this day.
Myka rolled over, instantly regretting the speed in which she moved, holding her hand out. "Don't worry, Claud, it already happened." Claudia handed her the phone. After a couple of minutes of breathing through her teeth she hit the dial button.
"I'll just go set up and make some tea. Say 'Hi'." Claudia left, chuckling over the one sided conversation she could hear from the office.
"Yes, I threw up. She says 'hi'. Now leave her alone. She's trying to help you guys from here, remember?" Myka started in before Helena could finish her greeting.
"Helena, what would you do differently if you were here? Besides that…you'd have to actually be able to touch me first…We'll talk about THAT later…Fine…Exactly…Yes, I know that…Well, I'd rather it was you too, but that's not an option…Yes, MY phone is right by me, so leave Claudia's alone. I love you too. Text me when you get there…okay…okay…yes, I did…Bye." Myka rolled over, phone still in hand, not turning it off. She felt it gently removed from her hand. A cool washcloth was placed on her forehead.
"I found the heating pad, too. The tea is right here and I thought you might want this." Claudia shoved a soft shirt between the pillows. "I'll be across the way. Try to get some sleep and take more ibuprofen when you wake up. Bet you didn't think Omaha would seem so far away, huh? Hey, she's going to be fine. It's HG." Soft steps padded out of the room and partially shut the door.
Myka drank half the tea. Hugging Helena's sweatshirt, she dozed off, silent tears spreading on the pillowcase with each drop.
The door opened slowly, shutting with a soft click. Claudia was laying on the new love seat, her legs hanging over the side and the remote in the hand hanging to the floor. She turned her head with a finger to her lips. An old episode of Doctor Who flashed from the television in the dim light, barely audible. They all knew the dialogue by heart at this point. Myka lay on the sofa asleep, looking much more relaxed than before Helena last saw her.
Helena pulled her boots off placing them gently beside the bag she set next to the door. Gingerly, she tip-toed over to the sofa, squatting down beside Myka. She placed a soft kiss on Myka's forehead and looked at Claudia, eyes silently asking for an update.
"She's better. She fell asleep again a little while ago," Claudia whispered. "She kicked me out at lunch and she'd moved down here by the time I came back from checking in with Artie. He sent me back with fresh chicken soup. She hasn't eaten anything."
"No, I wouldn't expect her to. She rarely does. Artie's soup does sound delightful. I didn't know when we'd get back and I'm famished. I'll manage to get some into her. I expect she'll be ready for something now."
Claudia sat up stretching the kinks out of her back from the small sofa. "I'll go heat some up if you want." She wrinkled her nose waving her hand in front of her face. "Dude, you smell like...like I have no words."
"Yes, I do. That happens when you spend the day playing with cattle. I have a good sense of what it must be like to run with the bulls in Pamplona."
"So that's what I smell," Myka mumbled. "Have fun?"
Helena leaned in closer whispering, "Yes. Actually, I found it exhilarating. How are you feeling, sweetheart?"
"I'll just go get that soup started," Claudia whispered pointing to the kitchen.
Helena smiled. "Thank you, Claudia."
Myka watched her nursemaid leave the room before whispering back, "She is such a mother hen. One of these days she's going to start clucking."
Helena sat on the edge of the sofa gently. "Yes, she is, and I love her for that. Can I touch you yet?"
"Yes, but not smelling like that. You really stink. I just feel kind of crummy."
Laughing softly, Helena brushed back the fallen hair out of Myka's face and tenderly rubbed her forehead. "Let me take a quick shower and we'll see about getting a bit of soup into you. I'm considering simply burning these clothes. And I don't care if I smell." Helena leaned down taking her time kissing her lover.
"Ahem," Claudia cleared her throat. "The soup is on low and I got out bowls and stuff. You should have time for that shower, Stinky-poo. So, I'm just gonna head on out and hope Pete took a shower already."
Helena walked her to the door. "Thank you, Claudia."
"Yeah, sure. No biggie. She was, uh, really worried about you being out there I think. Not that she said much. I just got that…"
"I know. That's the reason I asked you instead of Abigail. I knew you'd understand our position on this whole warehouse business. She'll be fine by tomorrow."
Claudia scratched her head. "You know, I'm kind of jealous of you two sometimes. You guys really are unique. I can't explain it."
"I wouldn't say that." Helena gave her a dubious look. "No more than anyone else here. Now, I need a shower, hot food and a quiet night as someones pillow. Come, give me a hug. Thank you," she said earnestly pulling Claudia into her arms.
"Man, HG you smell beyond bad." Claudia reluctantly returned the hug. "Something tells me the real thing is better than your pillow and sweatshirt."
Helena laughed softly, gazing at the sofa over Claudia's shoulder at Myka sitting up slowly, dressed in the sweatshirt. "I certainly hope so, otherwise I need to reconsider my options. And quite frankly, I'm beyond happy with what I have."
"God damn it! Why can't I find anything I want in any of this? It might just as well sit under that bloody cloud with all the rest of the bloody useless garbage we apparently have no use for, for all the good it's doing us." She kicked an empty box stuffed with packing paper across the room to the door, almost in tears.
"What the hell. I can't believe I'm actually going to ask you this, but dude, when is the last time you got laid? You have got to be the bitchiest person around, HG. Artie won't let you anywhere near the warehouse right now. Just chill or you won't be going back to that garbage anytime soon." Claudia opened another box, finding Myka's scary, big, white bear. She quickly shoved it back in the box closing it up. "Ugh, why does she keep that thing? It's creepy."
HG dropped to the floor drawing her knees up. "I'm sorry, Claudia, and none of your damned business!"
"Well, that answers that question," Claudia snickered.
"Oh really, Claudia," HG snarked back. "Myka keeps getting sent out and has been gone for four days. I know Artie is up to something! He bloody well better not send her out on Valentine's Day! For once in my life it actually means something to me and it's not as if anyone else has a reason to stay home. No offense, darling."
"None taken, much."
"I miss her, the damn cloud isn't going away, I'm tired, apparently being rather bitchy and…"
"And you're still having the same nightmare or rather variations on a theme." Claudia finished for her. She slid down against the wall across from the crabby woman. "You didn't really think Myka was going to leave you behind all those times and not tell me, did you? She didn't tell me what and she never has. All she said was that you guys have had a rough go of it since the blizzard. That's a long time, HG, to foot it alone. Only reason I'm not here at night is because she wanted it to be up to you to ask and I know she told you to. I'll stay with you, you know and so will Steve, when he's home. We can even take turns."
"Yes, I know that, but we are very much trying to remain independent. Atlanta had its good points."
"Whoa, wait a minute, HG. I get you guys wanting to have your space and all. You've made that very clear," she said unconsciously rubbing her arm, "but that's kind of what family is all about. We take care of each other. That's what's so great about you guys being here. But no one knows what's going on over here. We can't help if you don't clue us in. So really, you ignoring us when we are here kind of hurts. You'd let me stay here if I was sick or having nightmares wouldn't you? Or stay at the house with me?"
"Of course, Claudia. You're always welcome." She sat staring at the floor running her fingers through the fresh carpet. "I think I understand your point. They should be home tonight. Claudia, would you stay with me the next night Myka is gone if these nightmares do not resolve?"
"Now was that so hard?" Claudia wadded up some paper and threw it across the room watching it bounce off HG's head.
"Game of chess?" Helena stood up abruptly. "I tire of this job. And where is Myka's queen?"
Chapter Text
"Please, tell me that's the special recipe," Myka pleaded when she traipsed into the kitchen tossing her bag at the foot of the stairs on the way by. It was late but the kitchen light was on and she could smell the warm milk from the door when she gently shut the door. Helena stood at the stove stirring the milk. The cognac sat beside the mug. Myka hugged her from behind watching the spoon gently turn around the pan. "Four days," she moaned watching the milk pour into the mug noting the generous 'splash' of cognac. She moved the hair to one side kissing the back of Helena's neck, feeling the involuntary shivers travel through the warm body. Grudgingly, she pulled away with a groan. "I've missed you so much."
"As have I, you." She handed the mug to Myka with a tired smile, turning around into a welcoming hug. "I was told I've been bitchy. Now drink up. Claudia is in the guest room. She insisted on staying when you called saying you'd be late."
"I know. I heard about the bitchy part, that is - often. What are you still doing up? Aren't you having any?" Myka asked draining the mug, holding Helena to her with her free arm, loath to let go.
"No," she said into her neck still resting her head on Myka's shoulder. "I couldn't sleep so I decided to keep busy while I waited for you."
"Couldn't sleep or afraid to sleep?" Myka guided Helena backwards in her arms, setting the mug in the sink for the morning.
"Rather the same thing in the end isn't it?" Helena leaned back against the sink looking up into a tired face.
"Not really, sweetie, but I won't argue right now. God, I'm tired. Are you ready to try now? I'd offer you a back rub, but I just don't have the energy." Myka took her hand not giving her an alternative, dragging her feet up the stairs.
"Myka, the lights."
"Screw the lights. Claudia will be up in a few hours anyway. She'll shut them off before she leaves." Myka sat at the end of the bed starting to unbutton her shirt, looking up at the drawn face. "You haven't slept much at all while I was gone, have you?" she asked.
Helena stepped forward between Myka's legs to finish unbuttoning the white shirt and pushed it off Myka's shoulders, followed by her bra. "I'm fine. You two had a rough go this trip I understand. Artie banned me from the warehouse." She pushed her tired partner back on the bed pulling the remaining clothing off, finishing with her socks. "Your feet stink." She crinkled her nose.
"Rough is an understatement. I'm glad he banned you. I really should take a shower. I'm sure the rest of me smells just as bad." Myka lay on the bed not moving, eyes slowly closing.
"I will not be protected. It's my job too, supposedly. I will be very displeased if that cantankerous troll never sends me out again. Our relationship has never been an issue before," Helena said trying to pull Myka up the bed. "Darling, I can't do this on my own."
"It wasn't the us, it was the what – mostly you being bitchy. We'll talk about it later," Myka whined trying to get up. "I need a shower."
"Yes, you do, but you need me more. Now get under these covers."
Reluctantly, Myka crawled between the warm sheets, Helena enveloping her quickly from behind. "Artie said the Regents are done talking and have a counter offer of sorts, so it's official. He wants to chat tomorrow. Maybe I'll actually get to stay home," she said drifting off.
"Chat about what?" Helena wondered kissing her shoulder. "Well, it'll have to wait until later. We have your physical tomorrow."
"Yeah. That. Yippee. Can't wait."
"Helena! Helena, wake up!" Myka spoke sternly in her ear. She dodged a flailing arm before she got hold of Helena, finally throwing her full weight on her, holding her down, risking her a moment of panicked confinement. "Claudia!" Myka yelled.
Helena's eyes flew open as she pushed Myka off in one smooth move, rolling her off the bed. Claudia made it to the doorway freezing, just as Myka hit the floor. "Shit! What do you want me to do?"
Myka rebounded quickly, grabbing the thrashing woman from behind and pulled Helena tightly against her body. "I don't know!" Helena's head nailed her chin twice as she fought the strong arms around her. "Helena, wake up, damn it!"
The struggle slowly stopped and she went limp. Claudia cautiously climbed on the bed with a blanket from the floor. "You all might want to consider actually wearing clothes if you plan on keeping me here at night for these things. When did you get home?" she asked Myka, tucking the blanket around the two.
"Too late to care about clothes," Helena mumbled, closing her eyes. The other two women laughed, temporarily relieving the tension. "It changed. The dream changed, but I've dreamt it before I think. I don't remember when."
Claudia looked at Myka confused. Myka shook her head. "What changed?"
"She's talking. She wants us both. 'You don't belong here. You must go,' she said. 'Your future has been sealed.' She's calling us both, Myka and I don't understand. Why does the brotherhood say seals can be broken?" She pushed herself away, sitting up straight with Myka's arms still loose around her. "And Caturanga said something. He's new, but I remember him from another dream. 'She is correct, Ms. Wells. You belong to 13 now. The queen must come back into play. Remember, she is the most powerful of all. Do not lose her.'"
Claudia threw their clothes on the bed at them. "What queen?"
"I don't know." Helena looked past her in thought, aimlessly pulling on her sweatshirt.
"Claudia, third drawer down, please. I need new clothes." Myka wrinkled her nose as she threw the clothes from the night before at the bathroom door. Rubbing her face, she banged her head back against the headboard. "I'm so tired of this."
"You're tired? It's my stupid dream." Helena dropped her head back on Myka's shoulder.
"That's just it, Helena, it's not. It's mine too. Mine haven't stopped either. In mine you're holding onto Christina crying and she's calling for me. I still can't get to you. There is no Caturanga, yet, and the brotherhood is just hanging around. There is screaming in the background and you keep turning to look at it and you're really scared."
"Okay, you guys are really freaking me out now. You mean you're both having the same dream, but it's not the same?" Claudia looked back and forth between the two frustrated faces.
"Yes," they said in unison.
"And the damn floor is a chessboard," Helena added. "The queen still stands there watching. Is that his queen? Caturanga's?"
"Which queen is it?" Claudia asked slowly. "Why didn't you guys tell me any of this?"
"I don't know what queen! What does it matter? It's just a stupid dream!" At Claudia's glare she conceded. "It's a marble chess piece and it's warm. Sometimes it falls." Helena ended wearily.
"What color?" Claudia pushed.
"Geez, Claudia, back off," Myka warned. "It's white."
"That's it! Why didn't you say anything?" She ran out of the room coming back fully dressed. "Well, come on, let's go!"
"Claudia, what is going on?" Helena jumped up and finished dressing, running behind her with Myka close on her heels. "Where are we going?"
"The warehouse! I know what Mrs. F. was looking for. I just kept forgetting and we've been too busy. Why didn't I think of this last night?"
"Where are we going, Claudia?" Myka complained walking through the maze of aisles.
"Where do you think?" she snapped. "Nobody knew." She stopped outside the gate. The cloud was more turbulent. "I put it in here. It's the only thing that belongs to you both. It essentially IS the both of you, but we couldn't figure it out at the time. And if that thing up there has anything to say about it, I think I'm on to something."
"What are you talking about?" Helena demanded once again, following Claudia down an aisle, Myka close behind.
Claudia dropped to her knees in a pile of dust. Crawling on all fours she looked through the bottom shelves. "Give me that flashlight, will ya?" She held out her hand to Myka. She turned it on, scanning the shelf. "Damn it, I know it's here." She started shoving stuff around. Pulling her head out she glared at them. "You know, if you two ever want to get rid of some of this stuff, I'd be more than happy." She stuck her head back in. "Got it!" She dragged herself out holding a wooden box engraved on the top with both of their initials.
"Steve made the box. Handy guy to have around. We decided it needed something a little special." She pulled out a pair of gloves. "Just a hunch." Opening the box she pulled the small object out.
"That's Myka's queen!" Helena exclaimed. "Why is it here and why have you not told me?"
"We were so busy I kept forgetting and then we'd start a game and...Now I'm glad I did. Here – take it."
"Wait," Myka interrupted, stopping Helena's hand. "Why are you wearing Barney gloves?"
"Fine, here. Take some, but I don't think it's going to do anything to you." Claudia handed some over.
"Are you saying it's an artifact?" Myka guessed, grabbing the purple gloves.
"Well, yes and no. Kinda, maybe? Probably? But not in a bad way!" Claudia sighed. "Fine. Here's the deal. When I went to get the queen, and the key is in here too, I just got this really cool, warm and fuzzy feeling times ten. Can't explain it. But I had Steve hold it too and it just about bowled him over. So I talked to Mrs. Fred..."
"I think I understand," Helena carefully took the item from Claudia's outstretched hand. She held it up in the light examining it closely and closed her bare hand around it. She closed her eyes and her tired face softened with the slightest smile, her tense shoulders visibly relaxing. "Do you, Myka?" She opened her eyes turning to offer her opening hand.
Myka took the piece handed to her. "I don't feel anything. Except," she turned slowly to Helena. "You can, can't you?"
"It's you, Myka. It's...us."
"'The queen must come back into play. She is the most important of all. Don't lose her.' You both created it." Myka jumped as Helena turned her head around.
"Hey, Mrs. F.," Claudia said lazily. "Glad you could join us. You could have saved us a lot of time and stress if you'd just told me." Claudia said never moving.
"You know well enough, Claudia, things happen in their own time. You said it yourself; they had to do it on their own. Helena understands. Don't you, Helena? You've never once touched that item without a great deal of love and you never knew it."
Claudia rolled her eyes. "She'd hold that damn thing for hours staring at it and stroke it and…yeah, I think I'll stop there."
"Good idea, Claudia." Mrs. Frederic agreed. "There is an enormous amount of love absorbed into that one piece. In a sense, it is an artifact, but it holds no malice. To you Helena, it represents Myka; her warmth, her strength, her protection and her love. Myka, it was the first material offering of peace and love. I knew then we were in for an interesting ride."
The three women eyed Mrs. Frederic. "Oh, yes. You forget the warehouse talks to me too. I had Claudia place it in here when she told me what happened. It won't affect the two of you, other than break down some walls I think and settle some rumbling." She pointed up. The cloud was calming somewhat.
"So why didn't you say anything before? The hours I spent going through all of this…"
"The warehouse only tells us so much, Myka. I only knew there was something in here, not what. You would never have found the Christmas decorations or Christina's teddy bear. Without that bear you would never have realized just how far the connection you two have goes. Something else still lingers here. I can feel it. I'm sure you can too. Claudia insisted it was your job and I listened. None of us are directly involved with this item but you."
"But Claudia is the one that figured this out," Helena pointed out, becoming confused again. Maybe she didn't understand after all.
"Perhaps. But only after you finally shared your dreams and touched it. Claudia provided the aid; you provided the knowledge and the power."
"I don't know that I really do understand." Myka looked at her doubtful.
"HG does. Keep holding it. You will, too. Give it time, Myka."
Myka looked at the piece in her hand. "But…" She looked up.
"Don't bother. She's gone." Claudia waved her hand at them. "Let's go home. It's almost time for breakfast. Oh, and I think we need new chess pieces. That's for you two alone. It's only hold is, well, you two. The rest of us just get this big rush. Now we all know what it's like, in a way, your freaky thing. Kind of jealous. It's really cool."
Helena beamed. "It is. Well worth waiting a century in bronze for."
Grasping the queen more firmly, realization started to cross Myka's face. "But you didn't wait for it. It's always been there."
Helena grasped Myka's hand, clasping the queen between their palms. She looked up at the calming cloud. "So we're told."
"So have you actually talked to her yet?"
"It seems like all we do is talk these days. I can't tell you the last time we…uh, yeah." She heard the doctor snickering at the end of the table. She let her head drop on the table, covering her face with her arm. "Never mind." She sat up on her elbows. "I've tried. She's just so…Obstinate! To get her to talk about it is…"
"Not easy." Vanessa looked up straight into Myka's eyes. "You might want to consider finding one position and staying in it for this, Myka. I know as well as you how hard it can be to get her to talk about this topic in particular. Trust me on that. Now sit still. Talk about not needing a distraction..." she mumbled.
Myka lay back down frustrated. "Not easy is an understatement. It's like she wants to, but she can't bring herself to do it and pulls back. I have absolutely no idea what she really thinks. We just keep dancing around the whole thing. She's not the only one involved here! I'm sure as hell not going to do it alone and I'm not going to force raising a child on her. If it weren't for her I wouldn't even consider it. But I love her and that's kind of the whole point."
"Then tell her that. She's afraid, Myka, and so are you for different reasons. You can sit up now." Vanessa spun around on her stool quickly. "You two are going to drive me to drink," she mumbled under her breath. "So basically, you're just going to go through with all the prep without the talking first and hope she opens up. You two never cease to amaze me. What happens in six months when you're still ready to go with a 'just in case' and you don't talk about it? Seems like a stupid plan to me. If it's something you both want, then you've just wasted six months and you could already be pregnant. On the flip side, you've wasted six months fretting about it when you could just go on about your life and move on. Let's not forget to figure in the whole surprise factor because six months ago the thought of a child in your life made you cringe and she knows that. Oh, and then the other side of that coin is maybe Helena wants to be the biological mother. She's done it before."
"And that's part of the problem!" Myka leaned forward her hands tightly gripping the table. "I keep trying and hope that whatever is blocking her unblocks."
"Ding, ding, ding, ding! Referee can we have a time out here? Myka, did you ever think this might be, A. Causing a lot more stress than you've already been pushing yourself through and, B. Adding to one of Artie's 'complications'," she smiled at his favorite word in regards to the two women, "which in turn is bringing you right back to 'A'?"
"The Cloud."
"Screw the damn cloud. That'll work out by itself. I'm taking about stress, Myka, stress. In my mind, this means your relationship. This is one of the biggies, Myka. Whether we all end up going through with it and how isn't even the big issue right now. That's a whole other thing. Right now you both need to talk about it or you're never going to get through with the rest of it. Period. If you can't do that, then you've got a big problem. Why aren't you wearing her ring? Thought I wouldn't notice, huh? A girl notices these things." She watched Myka's expression change from frustration to shock and finally embarrassment. "I think you have a BIG problem. I worked too hard yanking your heads out of your asses and patching you up to watch it all go down the drain." Vanessa stopped and took a deep breath. She smiled sympathetically into Myka's frustrated face, and gently shook her patient's head. "You're talking to the wrong person, Myka. I'm your doctor and your friend, and sometimes even your mother, I think. I'll listen and I'll advise, but you already know the answer. Talk. To. Her. It's never going to be easy for her. You may need to push a little harder than is comfortable for either of you."
"I know," Myka said softly. "Can I change now? Unlike someone else in my house, I'm feeling just a little more exposed than I like to be while getting lectured."
Vanessa grinned and patted her knee. "Of course. I'll be right back. I want to order up an ultrasound, get an ASAP on your labs and take my blood pressure. I'll track your wife down and send her in before she practices with that new hand of hers. Unless you have anything else you want to talk about privately? Get dressed and we'll talk. All three of us, unless you want it otherwise?" Myka shook her head grabbing her clothes. "Don't look so worried, I'm not. I am surprised, however, that your wife hasn't knocked out all the staff and broken down the door. She's showing great restraint in her old age."
Vanessa opened the door to find Helena sitting on the floor against the opposite wall, jumping up immediately. "Didn't hurt anyone, did you?" The doctor asked, half seriously looking up and down the hallway for possible injured parties.
Helena glared at her. "No. A mere look is sufficient. May I?" She motioned towards the door, not waiting for an answer. "Myka, may I come back in now?" she earnestly asked through the crack in the door.
Vanessa shook her head. "Complications," she mumbled walking off to the desk at the end of the hallway.
"What took so long and why did you make me leave?" Helena asked sitting on the cushioned table waiting for her to dress. "I hate being in these places." She took Myka's hand, as much for her own comfort as Myka's when she was joined back on the table.
"Unlike you, I don't need my hand held for this. I was getting lectured."
Laughter shook the table. "Darling, if I didn't get lectured every time I was forced into this room I'd think the woman was ill. And you'd be very surprised what I've managed without you holding my hand. Everything alright?" she looked at the strained face.
"She's not saying, but she wants an ultrasound." She jumped at the knock on the door. "We are behaving, just in case you were wondering," Myka said to the door, mumbling under her breath, "Unfortunately."
"Well that might be a first," Vanessa said brightly, sitting on the stool. "Look, Myka. You're as healthy as a horse. I'm not worried. The ultrasound is precautionary and I can get it done today. I don't expect any issues. Honestly, I think you just experienced a case of bad cramps. You've been under more stress and hormones get screwed around with, prostaglandins increase, and in turn equal higher chance of more painful cramping. Your history shows moderately severe cramps maybe happens to you 3 times a year at the most? It happens. The NSAIDS helped and you're not having pain any other time and nothing else is out of the ordinary. I've pushed through the ultrasound in a few hours and in a couple of days we'll have everything else back. Other than that, think about the, uh, lecture you called it? It's important. It's adding undue stress. And as a side note, for future reference, Helena's alternative method you mentioned does often prove to be more than effective." She looked at her watch, ignoring Myka's reddening face and Helena's proud smirk. "So, how about lunch? You can tell me what else is going on while you wait. Joe's deli?" She opened the door and placed a hand on Helena's shoulder whispering in her ear.
With a rare flush spreading across her face and neck, Helena swallowed, nodding her head and then glared at the doctor. Vanessa roared with laughter following them down the hallway.
"What was that all about?" Myka leaned over asking softly.
"In short, I've been accused of enjoying an electric blanket too much and it was recommended I explore the art of warming up the old-fashioned way. Or, did I require a manual in my old age as it was her understanding I'd pretty much already written the book." She stopped mid-stride flashing a sour look in Myka's direction. "Exactly what did you say in there and why is it my fault? Perhaps you're the one that needs a manual. You can hit Artie over the head with it the next time he sends you out again in, oh, probably 12 hours," she huffed leading the way out of the building's rear exit door.
"Of all people I thought you'd be able to figure out how to make the best of 12 hours, being so creative and all," Myka shouted out the building's rear exit door. "It was never a problem before!"
"You'd have to be awake to actually participate!" Helena yelled back crossing the street against the light.
Myka turned around glaring at a smug Vanessa while they waited for the crossing light. "Some doctor you are."
The doctor just grinned more. "It's so easy to push your buttons sometimes. I learned a long time ago that's the easiest one. If I were you, I'd have a good lunch. I don't think we'll be seeing you for dinner. You can thank me later." She started out into the street laughing ruthlessly, leaving Myka standing on the curb with her mouth wide open. "I'm just trying to help reduce your stress level!"
Crawling across the prone body, Myka snatched the chess piece sitting on Helena's night stand, settling back beside her and using her shoulder as a pillow. She examined it closely, stroking the smooth, warm wood between her fingers. "I'm still not really sure I understand. This piece of wood is now an artifact because of us. Just because I gave it to you after I got pissed off at you and then you apparently had a love affair with it?"
Rolling over, Helena laughed, taking the queen out of Myka's hands, waiting for her to readjust herself in her arms. "That's a rather unromantic way of putting it. Essentially, it holds a piece of each of our connection to the other in it. You gave it to me with great emotional attachment, after a fit of anger, and I accepted it with equally intense emotions, unbeknownst to us both. It was the first thing I think I accepted from anyone in this century and it was from you. I loved it and still do. Do you remember the note you left on the board?"
Rolling her eyes Myka snorted. "Of course I do. 'If this board can fly then I deserve to feel the pain of its landing.' I'm the one that threw the board."
"I refused to play with anything else afterward. Especially after the circumstances that it reentered our lives, thanks to Claudia. It was just as much an act of love on her part in bringing it out. It was a time of great emotional stress for us. I never told you what I told Claudia. I wanted to take that with me when I shoved it all away, but I couldn't."
Myka turned her head to look at the smiling one next to hers. "So why is it so important to the warehouse and us?"
"You don't feel it yet, do you? It's the bond Myka, it's breaking free. I can feel you. It's not terribly strong yet, but that piece of you is still there, filling me. I don't know how else to explain it. I felt it immediately. Probably because I was the one that handled it all the time. Be patient." She placed a hand on Myka's stomach. "It's right there. It always has been. This is just a vessel to break through the wall we put up against it."
"So what was Claudia talking about being so cool?" She watched the soft expression challenging her equally perplexed one.
"When others hold it, they get a sense of what that bond we've always had, and took for granted, feels like. We never knew each other without it, until it broke. It's almost like being one of us."
"Really?"
"Apparently it's like a big hit of a drug if you've never experienced it before, and I would say it's safe to say few have. Not so dramatic for Claudia because of her 'threesome' theory, as she likes to refer to it." Helena shook, giggling. "We really must get her to change that. As Claudia said, it's pretty cool."
"Did you know, Artie once described watching you play chess was like watching a ballet?" Myka took the queen back turning the piece around in her hands.
"Did he now? Hmmm. I had no idea." She paused. "How did that chat go, by the way? I heard he kicked everyone out of the warehouse and you went for a walk. It must have been important for him to go willingly for a walk through the aisles."
"Vanessa's getting on his case. You're going to hate me, but there's not a lot I can really say right now." She set the queen on her night stand. "Sorry. I don't want to be part of the secret keepers but it's not that big. Honestly. I think there are going to be some interesting options in our future and that's probably more than I should say. I can tell you he's keeping me closer to home more. He wants to send you out more, but he wants to talk to you about that. You need to be honest with him. I know you're still uncertain, but I think we both know where you belong. You loved every minute of that trip with Pete and you can't sit still long enough to stay here with Artie hanging over you. You'll go bonkers and I'll end up strangling you for real. Hey!" she exclaimed bouncing away rubbing her hip. "That was a bruise you just bruised. I thought we agreed, no pinching." She felt the bed move and watched Helena move around. Warm, wet lips surrounded the growing welt as a soft tongue soothed it. Myka buried her hand in the hair hovering over her hip, running her fingers through its length. "Okay, unless instant mollification follows," she gasped as Helena traveled lower. "This definitely qualifies."
"You're awfully quiet, Pete. You usually babble nonsense all the way out." Myka passed a quick glance at him over her sunglasses. He was fidgeting in his seat and playing with his phone.
He rubbed his chin and looked out the side window, phone forgotten. "Don't hate me and please don't hit me, but I gotta ask, 'cause it really bugs me. I don't know why, but it does. Promise?"
"No." Myka glanced to the side at him, laughing nervously.
"Man, you two really are two peas," he grumbled under his breath. "I'm going to ask anyway, and it's a serious question."
She looked at him again, strangely, waiting for him to internally combust.
"Here goes. If she asked, seriously, and not in her perfected smooth talking I have you in my palm sort of way," he dared a quick look at her. "Okay, so that doesn't really work with you so forget that part…"
"Pete just get to the point!"
"If she asked you to marry her, what would you say?" He cringed to the side of the vehicle's cold door anticipating the punch.
"First of all, she would never ask. Second, you know how we feel about that. We don't need a piece of paper. And third, where the hell did this come from?"
"Hate to tell you Mykes, but ever occur to you there aren't a lot of places handing out papers, and this is one of those states, so that doesn't matter. You guys are all metaphysically, symbolitcally, juju kind of people in case you haven't figured that part out yet. I'm being hypothetical. Can't really see you two 'married'," he quoted with his fingers in the air, "anyway. Sometimes it just sort of crosses my mind, 'cause something ain't right."
"Symbolitically isn't a word."
"Thank you, Miss Scrabble Queen. Now answer my damn question."
Irritated, she pulled the car sharply over to the side of the road slamming it into park, sliding slightly, engaging the four wheel drive.
"Oh crap," Pete sunk in his seat.
She hit the steering wheel, slamming her body back in the seat, jostling it on its hinges, and threw her head against the headrest. "Why does everyone make such a big deal over this?" she said between her teeth.
"Uh, well, I think you guys make a bigger deal out of NOT making a big deal out of it. Now answer the question."
"Pete, why are you asking?"
"You took your ring off. Yes, I noticed. After the blizzard. Don't act so surprised. I'm not that unobservant and that tan line glares in the sun. And I told you, something isn't right. Now answer the question."
Myka paused in thought, getting more annoyed at the question and blurted out, "If she understood…yes!"
"Ow, that was my ear. If she understood what?" Curling the left side of his face up in pain, he rubbed his ear.
"What it all means. It's not just about her and it's not just about me. There's more to it than living together and bonking like bunnies. Her phrase, not mine," she responded to his amused grunt. "I don't even want to know where she picked that one up." She paused. "It's about us looking forward to a future together and making those decisions together, not just making a decision and sticking me on a plane!"
Pete rubbed his chin repeatedly. "Huh. Seems to me she's got that one down pretty well. And you really need to let that go, Mykes. If you were my wife, I'd have done the same thing. Your life was in danger and you are stubborn and you fight back. She understood the situation better than you and she didn't have time to fight you over it. Sound like someone else we know? I imagine that was one of the hardest decisions she ever made not because she was sending you back here, but because she couldn't take the time to talk to you about it. She didn't want to lose you because of time."
"I hate when you support her."
"No, you love it when I support her and yell at me when I don't. You hate it when I don't agree with you. Give me the keys." He held his hand out.
"What?"
"I said give me the keys. I don't want to be stranded out here in nowhere land in the freezing cold trying to explain to Artie why I'm not on the same bus. You aren't going to want to hear this and you can't hang up on me. Soooo, give me the stupid keys."
She rolled her eyes turning the SUV off and threw the keys on his phone in his lap.
"Thank you. This is how I see things. Keep in mind this is just me - someone who really, really didn't like her much once." He took a deep breath. "What I've noticed is that you have this superhero like image of her in your mind of what she is supposed to be. She was one of your literary hero's and despite her evil doings, she impressed and challenged you. Then there's that whole freaky thing from day one that no one understands. She overcame a lot of shit, is super smart and does some pretty amazing things and, yeah, can probably kill us with her pinky. She's super duper hot, and you melt with just the sound of her voice or a touch of her finger. I've actually kind of seen that personally, and it's sort of endearing and embarrassing at the same time, so don't argue. She is also, from what else I gather, and have literally heard a lot of, so please don't hit me, is for you at least, super duper awesome in the sack. She's your perfect mate, Mykes. Sometimes you are so alike it scares the living crap out of us. But your image of her is a little warped. You put her on this pedestal of near perfection and whenever she does something that breaks that image, she disappoints you and you get pissed off. She's human, Mykes. She's not perfect and neither are you. No one is perfect at the relationship thing and you forget that. You're as bad as she is. Sometimes worse. Kind of a matrimonial, or whatever you guys call it, hazard you could say.
"Now, as far as her getting the whole together part, I think she's done a damn good job considering her former Casanova routine. I know why she went on that cow fiasco and no, she didn't tell me. I've kind of figured out…well, let's just say we've worked together a lot, okay? I also know the last thing she wanted to do was go on a mission again. We all did. That was part of the bargain, wasn't it?" Myka nodded her head slowly. "Thought so. She was terrified when she got in the car. I don't think she even knew why or ever will. She couldn't hide it from even me, and you know how easy that is. Not to mention she kept bugging Claudia all day to see how you were."
They sat in silence, Myka unusually non-confrontational with him. Pete gathered his thoughts waiting for the denial.
He pushed the seat back and stretched his legs out turning towards her slightly, but avoiding her eyes. "Let me ask you, and don't answer until I'm done 'cause we'll be here all day and I'm cold and hungry. OK, I'm always hungry." He pointed a sharp finger at her, and then looked straight ahead out the window. "When you dislocated your shoulder, who was it that took care of you to the point we were either afraid to go near you or wanted to barf? When we rolled the car in the ditch, freakiness aside, who threatened Artie with bodily harm when he didn't believe something was wrong? When she came back from any mission, 007 or otherwise, who was the first person she came looking for no matter how tired, sore or injured she was for at least a hug, even a public one, to let you know she was home safe? That hug was as much for her as it was for you, maybe more. You could see that on her face, too. Who argues with you just for the fun of it? And we all know you're not really arguing, so don't give me that face. Who sat with you through I don't know how many stupid movies she really didn't want to watch just so she could snuggle with you in the corner of our sofa or the corner chair that, by the way, isn't as dark as you think it is? Who makes you chocolate chip cookies, and boy do I want to know what her secret ingredient is, makes sure you're stocked with Twizzlers, made Artie teach her how to cook for you, including meatloaf which she pretends she likes, and agreed to go to McDonalds with you once a year without complaint? Who understands The Little Prince the same way you do? And sorry about this last one, but I think it's kind of important. Please don't hit me for it, 'cause I did read the journals, and remember I did apologize, and I didn't know, but I do know, and no one else does. I promise." He cleared his throat and bit his lip. "I meant it when I said you were a lucky woman. When it comes to HG, 'hot and heavy' were the only words that ever came to mind, never 'tender, gentle, and, um, attentive'. So, ahem, here goes and I can't believe I'm saying this - who makes love to you, giving you all her heart and soul, like you are the most precious thing in the universe?" He put up his arms to protect himself again. He peeked between his arms seeing the tears on her cheek, eyes closed. "I know you two are not bonking bunnies. It's a whole different world for you." He took her hand in his, holding it over the middle console.
"Who, Mykes?" he asked softly and waited, knowing she couldn't answer. "She gets it, Myka. She gets it better than anyone else I've ever known."
Myka looked out the side window sniffing before wiping her sleeve across her face. She rubbed her eyes dry. Pete sat back silent, waiting for her to gather herself. He knew that was the end of the discussion and they'd never talk about it again.
Myka turned away from the window. "I'm a jerk."
"Yeah, sometimes you are. Just another thing that proves she gets it. She knows you can be a jerk and loves you anyway. But in your defense, she can be just as much of an ass and I know you still love her."
Myka sniffed once more and held her hand out to the side, waiting for the keys. Pete started to hand them over and stopped just before he dropped them in her palm, pulling his hand back. Myka looked over her sunglasses, impatient.
"Just one more thing." He stared out the windshield squinting in the sun. "I don't know what your plans are and it doesn't matter one way or the other. Steve and I talked, a lot, a really long time ago, and our answer is yes. We've already seen the Doc and we passed and everything is done and, um, waiting. Neither of us will be offended, if and when you might decide you wanted to, whether it is internal or you prefer to go the anonymous route. And I'm probably just screwing this all up and shouldn't have said anything, but we both love you and we just want you to be happy. Not sure why now it feels important, but I just thought you should know." He dropped the keys in her hand and looked out the side window, refusing to look at her.
Myka stared at the keys in her palm shocked by the revelation, completely thrown off. She cleared her throat and started the vehicle. She looked in the mirror for traffic and headed down the road. "You ready to get this thing done? Because I'm tired and I haven't seen my…Helena much lately and I would really like to get home tonight, not tomorrow or four days from now."
"Yeah." He fidgeted with his phone. "Hey, Mykes?"
Myka sighed, getting ready to pull off again. "I thought we were done."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're done. Keep driving." He waved his hand forward. "I was just wondering. If you ever did that thing you don't want to do and that's cool, ever think what you'd say to her? I mean, it's one thing to say I love you every day, and I think that's a really good thing, but maybe you should tell her sometime, you know?"
Myka drove on in silence staring straight ahead for a long time, Pete back to playing with his phone. Still staring straight ahead she cleared her throat. "So what's that file say? And you're driving home."
Chapter Text
Myka fumbled her phone dropping it on the floor. Frantically, she searched for it in the dark. Pete jerked his head to the side and started laughing. Sitting back up, she glared at him, answering the phone.
"You can never make fun of my ringtone again." Pete laughed hysterically veering a little off the road.
"Pete, watch the road!" Myka yelled.
"Hey, you…uh huh…okay. We're on the road now…maybe 50 miles…Uh, what was that? Oookkkkaaayyyy. Yeah….yep, still here…uh huh…uh huh…I got that…uh huh…okay…Bye."
Myka dropped the phone in her lap, face heating by the second, and thankful it was too dark in the car for Pete to notice.
Pete continued laughing. "Tomb Raider? How have I never heard this before?" He continued laughing, eyes stuck to the road waiting to flinch at the first punch. "Oh, that is major blackmail material."
"Only you would recognize it. She jammed it like she did Steve's phone," she complained. "I hate it when she gets bored. It's worse when she gets bored with Claudia. Be thankful you were out of town or your phone would have been messed with too. Artie still hasn't forgiven her for what she did to his. He actually bought a new one."
He glanced to the side at her, noting the color change in the light of the oncoming cars. She stared straight ahead at the dash, with an odd expression. He hit the steering wheel with his hand, laughing harder. "Ohhh. Oh, ho, ho," he hooted. "I can't believe this. Ha, ha! You just got a booty call, didn't you?"
"None of your business!" She raised her arm to punch him.
He started to flinch yelling, "Hey, I'm driving here and you totally just did." He looked back to the road. "Want me to drive faster?" he teased.
"No!" Myka sunk down, slouching deeper in the leather seat. "Maybe just drop me off at home…might save us all a little embarrassment."
"Meaning you. What's it worth to you?" He slowed the vehicle down, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel.
"What's it worth to me? How about you think of it like this, Pete; you drop me off at home and take that ugly thing we retrieved to the warehouse and I keep my obviously very randy, hot, Brit wife from causing you any bodily harm. And I think you have a pretty good idea where she'll start."
Pete's face fell. "Um, right. I'm good with that. What does 'randy' even mean?"
She rolled her head in his direction, raising her eyebrows. "It means if you don't get this thing back up to speed, she will hurt you."
The SUV started picking up speed, passing a few cars in the process. "Houston, we'll be making an emergency randy landing…Ouch!"
"Just get me home in one piece." She snickered. "'Randy landing.' That is a good one. And if you even think of telling my wife I said that, I will tell your mom what you got her for Christmas before I made you exchange it."
"Deal." They drove a few more miles in silence before Pete blurted, "You know, you guys keep throwing around the 'W' word a lot…"
"Shut it and drive."
"Can I just refer you back to this morning? Me thinks..." he mused, humming to himself the rest of the way home.
Helena jumped up, the book she'd been trying to concentrate on for the last 30 minutes tumbling to the floor and under the table when the door unexpectedly swung open. Myka dropped her bag and slammed the door shut. Shrugging out of her coat, she let it fall to the floor in a heap, and hopped on one foot at a time pulling off her boots and socks, throwing them somewhere unknown. In three more strides, shirt and bra lost, she was pushing Helena back on the sofa, greeting her with a deep, bruising kiss.
"I'm not doing this here," Helena scolded, already short of breath, pushing Myka off. She sat up grabbing one of the hands attempting to pull her shirt off, and rushed towards the stairs. At the first step she found herself against the wall in another heated kiss, eager hands making their way inside the front of her jeans, unclear how Myka had undone them so quickly. She grabbed the shifty digits, pulling them up to her hips. "I can't get up the stairs with my jeans falling off," she started laughing.
"Take them off," Myka commanded, doing it for her, before climbing up the stairs backwards, never taking her eyes off Helena. Three steps from the top Myka fell back with Helena falling into her arms. Another lengthy kiss and Helena pulled away panting. She crawled off and bolted the last steps, Myka in quick pursuit.
Helena was bent over in front of the bed, catching her breath. She squeaked as Myka grabbed her by the waist, throwing them both on the bed.
"I thought you liked the undressing part," Helena panted into Myka's ear above her, her hands at Myka's waist fumbling with the belt and zipper, still trying to catch her breath.
"I do. And I am. But it's a little like your speed chess right now." Myka sat up helping with the belt and zipper floundering out of her jeans. She yanked Helena's shirt off, throwing it off deep into the recesses of the darkened room warmed by the glow of two small lamps. Hands still cold from the outside caused Helena to gasp surprise into Myka's demanding open mouth as they took possession of her breasts, thumbs brushing over rigid nipples, goose bumps spreading in a flash of sensation over her entire body.
"I thought I made this call?" Helena croaked, swallowing hard. Flipping Myka over, she held the strong arms down, a shroud of long hair enveloping them as Helena slowed their kisses down.
"You did, and I've had over fifty very uncomfortable miles to think about it. That was your plan." Myka stretched her head up for another kiss, Helena backing up, teasing. "And you're still over dressed."
Leaning back down, Helena stopped her teasing, slowly kissing the frustrated woman underneath her, her tongue thoroughly exploring its sweetness. She released Myka's arms. "You like the undressing part," she whispered, grinning. "Remember?"
"Yes, I do." Myka rolled them over. Sliding her hands slowly down Helena's sides, she slipped her hands slowly underneath the last remaining article of clothing, her thumbs caressing the still too sharp hip bones in the process.
Helena dug her heels in the mattress raising her hips as Myka pulled off the lace underwear. Her stomach dropped and she moaned when Myka returned, leaving a wet trail down her raised thigh. She dropped her leg, the other knee falling to the side. Pressing into Myka, she began rubbing against her.
"Myka, please," she begged.
Myka rocked against her setting their rhythm. "I've got you this time."
Myka glanced to the left and laughed out loud at the ceiling. "Are you falling asleep on me?"
"Hmmm? Quite possibly." Helena yawned rubbing her closed eyes.
"Do you know you're on the left side?" Myka lifted herself up on her elbow, resting her chin in her palm, smirking. Her other hand freely explored the flat plane of the still blotchy chest.
Helena frowned and lifted her head looking down to the side of the bed, then forward and finally at Myka's smug face. She let her head collapse on the pillow. "So it would seem. How exactly did that happen again?" She rolled her head lazily towards Myka, face twisted, confused in her drowsy state.
"Last I remember," she played with a lock of hair, squinting at the ceiling in faux thought, "there was this really hot Brit, uh, crashing down on me after my thigh was, ummm, crushed between her own violently contracting thighs while, ah yes, while surrounded by a veil of very thick, soft, dark hair. Then she sort of slid off to that side when I let my knee fall."
"Ah. A really hot Brit, huh? Long, dark hair?" Helena giggled. "You do seem to have a very strong attraction to that sort. I hear they can be quite a handful. Now tell me, was this before or after the second time you nearly broke my hand? Not to mention, one of these days you are going to break my nose." Helena rubbed the bridge of her crinkling nose with her finger and laughed.
"I don't know. I lost track. I should start taking aspirin now. I'm just happy we don't have a footboard. I'd hate to have to explain to Vanessa how you ended up with a concussion."
"It's not the first time my head has ended up hanging off the end of our bed, dear, and I pray it won't be the last. She'd most likely shake her head in that ever so annoying way she has when it comes to our various escapades and laugh. Fifty miles, indeed. I'd like to see what happens with seventy-five." Helena rose up, placing her hand in the center of Myka's chest, gently pushing her lover onto her back. She dropped a quick kiss on her forehead, the tip of her nose, followed by a slower, sweeter kiss on the parted lips. She lifted her head and looked down at Myka, quickly shaking her head "No. The left side just won't do."
"Really?" Myka laughed. "You didn't even know!"
"Well, now I do. So yes, really. T'was all a matter of time, my love." Helena had already gotten her left leg over Myka, stopping midway in crawling over the woman, catching the bright, laughing eyes watching her attempt to return to the other side of the bed. She settled back, nearly sitting on Myka's hips, looking intently into the smiling eyes, her face unreadable.
"What?" Myka asked softly, staring back into the brown eyes, trailing a finger down the side of a soft cheek and across Helena's bottom lip. "You look like you're searching for something."
Helena continued her scrutiny, deep in the now troubled, green eyes gazing back. "My dearest, sweet Myka," she mused faintly. She reached out caressing the side of Myka's face. "No," Helena answered in a whisper. "I'm not searching for anything. I've already found it." She leaned down tracing her tongue across Myka's upper lip and encasing it between her own. Her tongue ghosted the tip of Myka's before sucking her bottom lip and releasing it with a slight tug.
Myka whimpered when Helena kissed her way down the long neck to the base, sucking at the throbbing pulse point. She grabbed the skin she'd sucked into her mouth with her teeth, biting down just hard enough to leave a small sharply defined mark, hearing Myka's quick intake of air. Helena smiled, glancing up at Myka's head tilting back and jaw dropping open.
Slender fingers feathered across Myka's chest, stopping to tease her right nipple. The other hand skated down her side and back up the inner side of the arm lying heavily upon the bed and circled to her other breast. Warm air caressed Myka's neck.
"I love your breasts," Helena said hoarsely into Myka's ear. She slowly feathered her cheeks and nose exploring the expanse below her. "I love that I can immerse myself in all their beauty and glory. I love how soft they are." Fingers barely touching traced an intricate map around both lobes. "How responsive they are to the faintest stroke of my fingers." Myka arched her back into Helena's mouth following the map to the center, grazing the destination with her teeth. "I love how your nipples harden when I envelop them with my warm, wet mouth and tease them with my tongue. I love how your body tightens and your back suddenly arches with the slightest touch of my teeth. I love that I can bring you to orgasm without touching any other part of your body. I love how you whimper when I nuzzle them. I love how you moan when I brush my check across them; when I brush my hair across them."
Myka was whimpering with the brush of hair down the length of her body, her hips rose erratically with the ache engulfing her senses. "So glad," Myka managed, gulping noisily.
A smile grew across Helena's face. She knew how sensitive Myka's breasts were. Myka cried out when Helena leaned in taking a nipple in her mouth, sucking hard. With a final tug she let go, nuzzling the wet hardened tip and pushed off to rest beside Myka's sweat covered body. Myka groaned at the loss.
"Not so fast, my darling," Helena murmured against the taut neck. She raised herself over Myka. Fluttering fingers danced over the flush growing from her neck and across her chest. Drawing a finger down the long, heaving midline, Helena's tongue freely explored the path, circling Myka's navel with a groan and savoring the growing salty pool of sweat. She returned, greedily seeking to taste Myka's mouth.
Strong arms clasped around Helena's back, pulling her down, fingers digging into her shoulders. Myka snaked a hand through the dark hair, eyes closed and gasping. "Need you," she breathed against Helena's neck.
Helena turned her head into Myka's neck, lips exploring the contours of the side of her face. "Slow your breathing." One hand buried in the thick curls, the other slipped between Myka's spreading legs, entering her smoothly, curling her fingers. Three strokes, four and Myka's hips violently jerked, her entire body contracting, uttering barely a sound in a silent scream. Her eyes flew wide open, staring at the ceiling, a tear breaking its confines and vanishing into the pillow below leaving behind a dark spot.
She quickly rolled out from under Helena onto her side, hugging herself tightly around her chest. Eyes still wide open, she found herself almost falling off the mattress. Through the occasional deep huffs of air, a tear would drop to the floor she stared at. Another rush coursed through her body and she coiled in on herself, closing her eyes against the strong tremors. Wet fingers stroked her damp back and shoulders lovingly. She barely heard the urgent words spoken softly behind her.
"Myka…are you okay? Did I hurt you?" Helena's hand stopped momentarily, drawing back the hair from Myka's neck to drop light kisses against it. "Myka?" Tentatively, she brushed the fingers and traced them back to the hand Myka held around her neck. Myka grasped the hand hungrily, entwining their fingers awkwardly.
Helena frowned, a slight panic growing in her chest. More strongly, anxiety growing, she entreated, "Myka, are you okay? Please, say something."
Myka squeezed the hand in answer, still yet unable to speak, her mouth parched. She felt the mattress shift as Helena settled back behind her uneasily, waiting patiently for her to recover. With one last big exhalation, she rolled over into the waiting arms and into the warm, equally damp body. Refusing to let go of the hand she possessed, she pressed Helena's hand forcefully back into the pillow, nestling against that protective, reassuring warmth waiting for her.
"What did you do to me? That's what it's like, what you've…I've done..?" she breathed into Helena's neck. Another tear escaped, landing silently on Helena's shoulder. "Completely…"
"Overwhelming," Helena finished for her. "I know. I never knew how disconcerting it could be afterwards for the giver." Helena turned her head into the one on her shoulder, kissing it lightly. She held Myka firmly with her left arm, fingers trailing gently over Myka's cooling arm. "How I've envied you that success," she chuckled. "Are you all right?"
Myka swallowed deeply, her throat starting to lose its dry scratchiness, and licked her dry lips. "Why? Why now, after all this time?" She closed her eyes, tiring. "No wonder you pass out."
Helena chuckled. "I don't know. It certainly hasn't been for a lack of trying. You always wake me up. You get an early start while I'm still asleep. I think you are short changing me." Helena chuckled slightly and rested her head against Myka's, fatigue claiming her as well. "Perhaps we are opening ourselves to each other more. I…I knew this was going to be different. I don't know why. I saw it in your eyes."
Sleepily, Myka asked, "Does everyone experience this?"
"I don't know. I can truthfully say it's never happened to me with anybody but you."
"But…"
Helena could feel Myka start relaxing against her. "Shh. Go to sleep. I've got you."
"I think I'm still somewhere else. My toes are still tingling." Myka trailed off, her hand gradually releasing its grip from Helena's hand on the pillow.
Helena hugged her close, eyes shutting, "I've got you."
Myka gradually woke up a few hours later, quickly shutting her eyes against the shadowed ceiling, grimacing against the throbbing between her legs. Helena made use of Myka's shoulder as a pillow. Wedged against Myka's side, Helena's arm rested down the long midline and her right hand was thrown up on her abandoned pillow. A steady rhythm pressed against Myka's side with each breath.
Carefully, Myka shifted her shoulder out from underneath Helena's head, rolling them both forward and spooning her from behind, easing her arm around her sleeping partner's middle. Myka breathed a sigh of relief at not waking the woman whose breathing remained deep, steady and controlled. Then it dawned on her. Controlled. Her left hand was being redirected lower, a knee lifted. Meticulously, her fingers were guided through warm wet folds, the breathing becoming less controlled. A sharp intake of breath, a ragged sigh, and the hand directing hers stilled and was released.
"Mmmm. Soft is so wonderful," Helena giggled. "I am sorry, darling. You shifted us before I was certain you were awake. What do you need? I know you've been dreaming of someone. I've felt it in you for some time."
"I can't believe you were awake. You and you're damn control." Myka flattened herself against Helena's back, pressing her hips into the tightening buttocks, rocking. Helena reached behind her, pressing her left hand into Myka's back, pushing back. Moments later, Myka froze, crushing the smaller, straining body into her own, groaning into Helena's ear. She buried her face in the thick, soft hair, relaxing in its depths. With a final sense of calm washing over her she rolled back onto her back. The bed shifted beside her. She opened her eyes to a gently smiling, sleepy face.
"What time is it?" Helena asked, leaning down to kiss still swollen lips.
"Do you really care?" Myka asked, gently cupping the drawn face glowing in the dim light of the lamps.
"Not particularly. If I did I'd have looked for myself." Helena dropped another kiss on her lips and both eyes before settling back on her former pillow, sliding her arm around Myka's body. "Seems I got a two for one deal," she smiled against Myka's neck. "That was not my intention, but thank you."
Helena quickly relaxed into sleep. Myka lay awake with her eyes closed enjoying the closeness, Helena's breathing familiar in sleep. Light peered around the edge of the window fighting for access through the blind. She slipped quietly out from underneath the soundly sleeping body, assured it remained in the land of serenity. Opening the blinds two inches to let in the growing light, she turned off the lamps and headed into the shower.
Myka dressed in the dim light watching her lover sleep. Lying on her stomach, Helena had taken possession of Myka's crumpled pillows, her face obscured by her hair. Her left foot kicked out from under the covers and hung off the edge of the bed. Pulling up the covers, Myka turned on the electric blanket and tucked the escaped foot back under the blankets. She turned around at the door, making sure the blind was letting in enough light in case the woman woke up. She headed down to the kitchen making a large pot of coffee and toast, grabbed a banana and wandered to the office to try working through some files.
Myka rushed down the stairs at the insistent knock. Well at least she's knocking. She tripped over Helena's jeans still on the bottom step, catching herself on the handrail before falling. Well, this should be fun, she thought looking around the room. She passed on picking up the jeans, bolting to the door before Helena woke up.
Myka threw the door open in mid-knock, a bluster of frigid air accompanying Claudia.
"Hey, Claud…whatcha need?" Myka smiled, biting her bottom lip as Claudia scanned the room.
"Where's HG? Artie gave me the morning off after yesterday's fun so we were going to play chess. Haven't had a chance to use the new set I got. Did you see they match the board?" Her eyes landed on the jeans at the bottom of the stairs and the crooked picture on the wall above. She raised her eyebrows at the older woman, a smile slowly creeping across her face. "Soooo, missed you last night with the drop off. Man that thing was ugly. Pete said something came up so he dropped you off here. Everything okay?" she asked, picking up Myka's coat handing it to her with a smirk. "Got a little mark there on your neck." She pointed to the base of Myka's neck, almost touching it before Myka pushed the offending hand away.
Myka glared back, yanking the coat out of Claudia's hand.
Helena heard the voices downstairs through the crack in the bedroom door. She sat up rubbing her face and scratchy eyes, smiling at the disarray of the bed surrounding her. Her stomach protested. She was tired and hungry. She headed into the bathroom throwing on Myka's robe on the way out, becoming engulfed in the silk garment, tying it snuggly. Not bothering to look in the mirror she ran her hands through her hair, pulling through a few snags trotting down the stairs.
"Good morning, Claudia. What brings you over so early?" Helena said through a yawn, repeatedly running her fingers through her hair and shaking it out as she headed into the kitchen. She grabbed Myka's coffee out of her hand with a bright smile, giving her a diligent open mouthed kiss and continued to the refrigerator, pulling various items out. She poked her head over the door. "Myka, did you eat already?"
"Yep." Myka stood still, slightly surprised and still recovering from the kiss. Helena's education in intimate filtration while in Atlanta seemed to have disappeared.
Claudia watched the process, fascinated. Myka resumed picking up the various articles of clothing left from the night before and replaced a fallen cushion on the sofa.
The young woman crossed her arms in front of her trying not to laugh at Myka's casual approach at clothing retrieval. "It's ten o'clock. We were supposed to play chess, but I can totally come back another time."
"Ah, yes. Sorry. I'd forgotten. I seem to have over slept. Funny that," she grinned, glancing at Myka. "Would you like some coffee or anything else?" She asked pouring a large glass of milk and placing items on a plate from what she pulled out of the fridge. She started opening the still unfamiliar cupboards, searching.
"Myka?" She turned around, hand still on an open cupboard door.
"Pantry. Second shelf on the right next to the peanut butter." Myka calmly answered opening the basement door and throwing the clothes down the stairs at the washer. Claudia gave Myka a strange look.
"Twinkies." Myka grimaced, finding a boot under the sideboard.
"Oooo. Peanut butter." Helena pulled the jar out, adding it to her collection.
"Leave it to Pete. He's done a pretty good job at corrupting your wife."
Myka glared at her. Retrieving a sock from under the living room chair, she noticed the book, dragging it out. She stared at the cover, made a funny face and dropped it on the table face front down.
"Hey, you guys are the ones slipping on the "W" word. Alright….HG. She's sort of like a blank slate for him in that way." Claudia glanced at the plate HG set on the table as she sat down. "Dude, is that your breakfast?"
"What?" Helena queried, noting Claudia's open curiosity. "What's wrong with it? I'm famished, very thirsty and apparently it's closer to lunch than breakfast." Unwrapping a Twinkie, she popped a round object into her mouth.
"Okay, HG, even Pete doesn't eat anything like that. Are those really olives?"
"Mmmm. Yes. With Jalapeños!" Helena smiled ecstatically.
Claudia stepped closer, looking at the plate, cringing. "Let me see if I'm seeing this right. Jalapeño stuffed olives, a Twinkie, a hard-boiled egg with hot sauce drizzled on it, a cut up cucumber dipped in peanut butter, half of a cold baked potato, with I don't want to know what next to it, Myka's coffee-that's a given-and a really big glass of milk. Are you pregnant?"
"Not yet. I wouldn't be drinking the coffee," she said flatly starting to cut up the potato, dipping it in hot mustard.
Claudia's jaw dropped open and she started backing up to the door. Myka froze half-way up the stairs. Letting go of the bag in her hand, it tumbled to the bottom.
"Um, I think I need to just come back later. I obviously walked in on a really BIG 'morning after' morning, which in itself is uncomfortable enough, if not amusing, but now…" She turned around when her back hit the door. "I really need to process this." She opened the door letting a gust of frigid air in, cooling her hot face. "Uh, call me later for that game….MUCH later."
Myka slowly crept around the corner; eyebrows up to her hairline, panic frozen on her face, watching Helena happily munch away at her unorthodox breakfast. She cleared her throat, standing uncomfortably at the table. "Uh, something you want to share?"
Helena looked up from her plate, smiling brightly, face drawn with fatigue, but still glowing. "Hmm?"
Myka rested her hands on the back of the chair in front of her. "Okay. So, unlike Claudia, I'm not unfamiliar with your very eccentric post-sex cravings and appetite, but the 'not yet' part in regards to pregnancy? Yeah, I'd say that's a pretty big news."
"Oh, that." Helena took a bite of the egg and washed it down with half the milk. "Do we have any ice cream? You should have seen the expression on her face. Not quite unlike the one on your face, but not nearly as green. Are you alright?"
"Am I alright? You imply, unbeknownst to me, your wife and partner, or whatever the hell I am for the day, whom you live with, that you foresee pregnancy in your future and you ask me if I'm alright? Really?"
"Did I? I'm sorry. It was a joke?" Helena looked at Myka curiously.
"Then what's with the book you were reading and did it have anything to do with last night? I'm thinking more Freudian slip."
"What book?" Helena asked with a mixture of suspicion and surprise.
"The one I just picked up from the floor and placed face down on the table so Claudia wouldn't see? Kind of looked like a sex book emphasizing the female anatomy and reproductive system to me. Last I knew, from personal experience no less, confirmed over the past 12 hours or so, you are the last person I thought that needed one of those."
"Oh." Helena set her silverware down on her plate with great care. "That book. Please sit down."
Myka pulled out the chair next to her, snagging an olive off the plate as she sat down.
"I admit it may have had a little to do with last night as it did bring you very much to mind despite the impossibility of, huh, never mind. It's a rather clinical book, Myka, which you'd have noticed if you actually opened it up. Vanessa gave it to me. As you've pointed out, I don't require a 'sex book' as you call it. I learned the art of pleasuring my partner, and myself, enthusiastically the good old-fashioned way. Experimentation. You, my dear, have enabled me to indulge in the greater art of intimacy."
"Hence, your journals," Myka interrupted. "And the book?"
"Forget about the bloody journals. I'm going to burn them, and a great deal remains unwritten. As far as that book is concerned, you forget that a great deal of blessed research has occurred since my former life and there is a tremendous amount of information available now that explains the why and how to what I've already learned. It's one thing to know cause and effect; it's quite another to know why and how as well. Does that make sense?"
"Why do I always forget there are so many big gaps in that amazing brain of yours?"
Helena got up and kneeled before Myka, taking both hands in her own. "I love that you forget. It's one of the things that makes me feel like I belong here. And have no fear; I am well aware of how babies are made, well, in the general sense at this point. I accidentally had one, remember? It is, however, amazing what one's body does in making it possible." Helena's face shown with the excitement it always did when she was discovering something new and fascinating.
"It is pretty amazing. So, no babies?" Myka touched Helena's cheek with the back of her fingers. "'Cause that was kind of a shock. Especially after your big question that you didn't want to talk about." She laughed nervously.
"I've never said no, Myka. As you point out frequently, I've avoided that query. And, no, I'm still not ready for that discussion. But I'd hoped knowing your wishes would in turn help me understand and determine my own."
Myka started to stand up. "Helena, that's not fair and you know it. I told you then and I'm telling you again…"
Helena pulled her back in her chair. "Myka wait, and please let me finish. I know it's not fair, but it's not that simple for me. You gave me much to think about in Tenerife and Vanessa and we had a great deal of time to talk before and after my surgery. I was her only patient at the time. She recommended the book. I want to educate myself before we dive head first into that realm. I cannot just explore that possibility without playing catch up with you and understanding everything first. Darling, I don't actually know how one becomes pregnant without an active male partner. I obviously know it is possible, but I've never had reason to find out. Now I do as we consider this question."
"You're blushing," Myka pondered, stroking the side of Helena's face now. "I get it. I really do. You're right and we can learn together."
"There's more, Myka. Childbirth terrifies me. Whether it be you or me. You need to know that Christina's birth was not an easy one. It was very long and painful, as is to be expected I suppose. But, there was a great deal of bleeding and I was quite ill for some time. Usually a death sentence for most women back then. I stubbornly refused a wet nurse. Thankfully, Christina was a greedy little pig that took to the breast quite easily and required little encouragement or assistance from me. I was not exaggerating when I said I was lucky to have survived. I often wonder how we both survived."
"I can't even imagine that. But a lot's changed, sweetie. So much has changed."
"Yes, I do understand that, but that doesn't change my experience from a century ago or how it affects my immediate emotions. What for you is over a hundred years is in many ways for me only ten. I have so much to catch up on. No artifact has required me to understand any of this. So, please, Myka, I am not ready to start this conversation."
Myka gently lifted the head that had been speaking into her body with a single finger under Helena's chin, looking into a worried uncertain face. "Helena, I hate to tell you, but we just did. Now can you honestly say you don't have an answer for me? I think you do. You're just afraid to say it. I'm not sure you think you are allowed to say it. No one goes to all that trouble on a whim."
"Then maybe we can just leave it unsaid for a little longer," she answered, still uncertain.
"Why am I being so patient with you?"
Helena's stomach growled, prompting them both to laugh. "You never answered me. Do we have ice cream?"
Myka laughed harder, standing up with Helena. "I always keep ice cream for you. But I really need to find my other boot before Claudia does later and I still can't find my bra." She wandered off in search of the missing boot. "Did Vanessa give you any other books?"
"Yes. Why?" Helena hungrily attacked the food on her plate.
"I'd like to read them, too. I don't want you knowing more than me. I honesty do want to learn with you." Myka found the boot and threw it into the pile by the door. She eyed her bra behind the television. Rolling her eyes, she grabbed it and threw it down into the basement. She picked up her bag at the bottom of the stairs and gave it a heave to the top.
"Seems fair enough." Helena guzzled the rest of her milk setting her dishes in the sink, watching Myka out of the corner of her eye.
Myka grabbed a spoon and starting digging in the freezer pulling a container out and headed out of the kitchen.
"Hey, where are you going with my ice cream?" Helena bellowed.
Myka came back in and reached out in front of her pulling the tie of her robe that Helena wore loose with one quick yank. "Upstairs." She walked out again looking over her shoulder. "So are ya coming?"
"Only if it's strawberry." Helena hesitated before chasing Myka up the stairs, losing the robe somewhere on the staircase.
"Bloody hell." Helena rested her forehead against the heaving chest. "Isn't there a way to put a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on that damn thing?" She complained reaching for the Farnsworth. "Claudia and I need to have a chat."
"Helena," Myka expelled touching her shoulder.
"Hmm?" Helena smiled at her own achievements.
"Face. Hair," Myka gasped.
She frowned for a moment. "Really? Huh." She pulled on the edge of the sheet, wiping her face and threw her hair back over her shoulder. "Don't you dare pass out on me," she commanded her panting partner, lowering her voice. Setting the Farnsworth against the bunched up pillows, she opened the device. "Yes, Artie. A bit late in the evening, isn't it?"
"Since when do you work banker's hours?"
"Not really sure," she jerked quickly with a grunt placing her hand tightly over Myka's mouth as a delayed reaction rumbled through the woman's body, "what that means, but what do you need?"
"I need Myka," he growled.
Helena looked to the side at the still panting figure beside her and smiled mischievously. "Ah, well, she's a bit indisposed at the moment."
"Well, tell her to get un-indisposed." He frowned into the screen.
She looked again at her partner then smirked at the man. "I am sorry, Artie, but that may be quite some time yet. Would you like me to give her a message?"
The man stepped away mumbling incoherently. Claudia appeared, smiling. "Hey, HG. That good, huh?"
"I have my moments, darling. What's all the fuss?" she asked distracted.
"Yeah, well, he just figured out what the, uh, steam engine sound in the background is. So, we got a major priority ping. He didn't want to send her out again so soon, but it's got your girl written all over it. Sorry. Soooo, when Myka can walk a straight line, preferably sooner than later, we kind of need her in the car with Pete, sort of ASAP. They can fight over the keys when she gets her horny butt out there."
"Well, that does leave me in a bit of a bind now, doesn't it?" Helena looked at the screen appalled.
"Uh, okay. Not really what I needed to know, so saying bye."
The screen went dead.
Helena dropped the Farnsworth over the side of the bed and slumped onto the bed groaning.
"Roll over, Champ." Myka pushed Helena over attacking her mouth, still catching her breath. "That was the best acting I think I've ever seen you do. You are about ready to burst. Don't think I'll have to feel too guilty leaving you behind. Five minutes, wasn't it?"
"I'd say three on the outside." Helena choked out with a groan, wrapping her legs around her, as Myka left an urgent trail of kisses down her front.
Myka leaned over Helena ten minutes later, kissing the still open mouth. "Sorry to cut the evening short," she whispered. "Love you. You'll sleep at the house, right? Steve's there."
"Hmm. Stay safe," she managed starting to drift off.
Myka kissed her one more time. "'The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched,'" she whispered.
Helena smiled weakly, "'They are felt with the heart.'"
"Oh, and Helena?" Myka stood at the door holding the door frame from the outside.
Rousing herself, she lifted her head slightly focusing on the shadow in the door. "Myka?"
"The answer is, yes."
She dropped her head back into the pillow, her foggy head not making sense of the words. Why would Myka say "Yes"? Suddenly, her eyes flew wide open and she tried to jump out of bed. Getting caught up in the sheet she stumbled haphazardly to the door. "What?! Yes, what?!"
Myka was gone.
"So here you remain." She rested her cheek against the crate, stroking it lovingly, a crowbar hanging from the other hand. "Let's see what you are hiding that haunts me so."
Chapter Text
"Steve! What are you doing here?" Claudia lifted her head from the desk, yawning. "Pete and Myka are on their way back. Hey, what are you doing?" she complained, sitting up quickly as he pushed his way in front of the screen, pushing some buttons. She smacked his hands. "Hey, my toy."
"How long has she been like that?" Steve asked finding the screen he wanted. "Myka texted me and said she told HG to sleep at the house because she and Pete were on their way out. Now I know why she wasn't there when I woke up."
"She flew through about an hour after Myka and Pete took off, so most of the night. I'm not sure. She didn't say a thing to Artie and me when she came through. She hasn't really done anything so I stayed to keep an eye on her. I've tried to divert some more heat over there. I've kind of learned to just let things be with them for the time being no matter how hard it is. I thought she'd have waited for Myka before she did that."
"No." He shook his head watching the frozen figure on the screen. "She had to do it on her own. That's why Myka never opened it."
"Where you going?" Claudia spun in her chair when he quickly turned away.
"Where do you think? Go home and get some sleep. I got this." He let the door slam behind him.
The contents of the crate surrounded her. A small cradle sat in the middle in front of her, a doll resting comfortably within. A tea set, a small christening gown, Noah's ark, a few photos, various worn toys and two books; one worn the other not. All sat carefully placed in an order only known to the arranger. She sat silently and perfectly still, ignoring the growing pain in her back and the cold radiating from the floor through her body. A birth certificate yellowed with age sat in her lap. Despite being there most of the night she never yawned or shut her eyes with fatigue.
Steve drifted in quietly to stand behind her. Not being openly acknowledged, he sat cross-legged on the floor against the crate behind, equally silent. There they sat for another hour. He shifted, raising his knees and wrapping an arm around the cold body as she backed up into his quiet reassurance.
She finally broke the silence after another quarter hour. "Not nearly as comfortable as the porch swing in August is it?" She bounced slightly against his chest when he chuckled.
"No, not so much, but it'll do."
"It was never supposed to be kept. It shouldn't be here."
Steve looked at each item sitting on the floor where she'd sat, mentally filing away each one. "I think it was or it wouldn't be here. You may not have wanted it, but someone thought it was important. Charles?"
"That would be the logical conclusion. Or Caturanga more likely. She may not have understood his role in our lives, but he was a constant in our lives and was very fond of her."
"Her favorite toys?" He disengaged himself crawling across the floor taking the books.
Helena sighed, "Yes. And then there is Myka's teddy bear. How strange it is to think of it as Myka's now and not my daughter's. I repaired it many times before Myka's parents were born. How it survived still baffles me."
"First edition, huh?" He laughed, opening the stiff book.
She took the book from him, scowling, thumbing through the pages. "Considering she was only four when it was published it would be very difficult for it to be anything but. She was hardly old enough for it in the first place. But Charles, of course, insisted she should have it. 'Read me Uncle's story' she'd cry in those later years."
"Ouch." He took the book back setting it on the crate behind him.
"Yes. He gained far too much enjoyment out of that and enticed her with it on purpose, mocking me in a most devious way. What was I to do? She wasn't old enough for the truth. I burned the rest. How The Time Machine managed to slip through the cracks will remain a mystery to me. How ironic. The other was her favorite. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland."
Steve quietly laughed, examining the worn book. "I don't think Myka would be too happy about that."
She took the book, sliding it to its former resting place on the floor, a look of consternation crossing her face. "Yes, I've heard of that incident. You're probably right. Oh, but the many tea parties I sat through because of that book." She groaned slightly and laughed quietly. "Oh, but she loved the Mad Hatter."
She settled back against him, the silence resuming, occasionally broken by a sigh or a sniff of a nose from one or the other.
"The answer is yes and no. I can only make an educated guess," she said flatly. She saw Steve question her out of the corner of her eye and settled into his side, resting her head on his shoulder. "It's always in the silence, Steve. I can feel those questions stirring inside you. The same questions everyone else has but never has the courage to ask and at times even forget."
"Christina's father?" Steve sat quietly listening, his eyes closed.
"Yes. A number of years previous I'd not be so sure I'd have had the same answer. Not that I had the revolving door to my bedroom as is often thought, but I was well entertained. I was usually very selective in the company I kept. However, I had fairly well established my preference for a woman's company by then and my male lovers were few. However, there were two possibilities at the time, one outweighing the other. I suspect the strongest candidate for the miraculous event was Robert Beauchamp. An associate of my brother's, oddly enough. That was unusual enough entirely. Quite unlike most of Charles' friends, he was a sweet, tender young man; very kind, understanding, and remarkably comfortable to be around. Quiet. He enjoyed solitude. I'm not really sure what he saw in Charles in the first place. He certainly disappeared very quickly after my situation was known, thanks to Charles I am sure."
"Maybe it was you he was attracted to and not your brother." He pushed her slightly causing the slightest smile appear on her face. "Did you love him?"
"Oh, I suppose as much as I was able to love anyone at the time. I'm not sure I really understood what love was back then. I was too busy avoiding marriage and love often played very little role in that institution. It would have been an adequate match for both families. There was always something lacking. I think we are all fairly clear on what that was. It was waiting for me to find many years in the future. What a strange life I was born to lead," she chuckled.
"Did he know? About Christina, I mean?"
"I'm sure he may have suspected, especially since he faded away so suddenly. He died not long after Christina and I returned."
"Returned? From where?" Steve turned his face down to look at her.
She eased back in his arm sitting against the crate. "My darling boy, a woman did not simply openly give birth to an illegitimate child without severe repercussions. I was easily shuffled off to Paris with family, in shame of course, and returned with an orphan. Ironic that she should die in the same place she was born. It's long gone now." She handed the birth certificate in her hands to him.
He examined the fragile paper closely. "Mother: unknown. Father: unknown." He handed it back slowly. Silently. "That must be painful."
"Very, but also very necessary. I was adamant that I was not to lose my child. The advantages of blackmail. The solicitor had much to lose and was in a very precarious situation as a result of our previous associations you could say."
"And no one knew?" Steve wondered.
A bitter laugh broke from her chest. "Oh, of course they did. It was just never spoken of, at least not openly. How could the family resemblance not be seen in her? Little of her father showed in any physical features. Besides, to risk criticism or open disdain of me was to risk the dirty secrets of a great many husbands and wives, or both."
"Did Christina know?"
"That she was my illegitimate child? No, she was far too young to give much care of her birth. I was her mother and there was no reason for her to know. I would have no one make reference otherwise. I know there would have been a time in which I would have had to explain to her the circumstances of her existence. I had no plans in keeping that a secret from her or allowing her to find shame in it."
"Does Myka know?" he asked hesitantly.
"She does now. Don't you, darling? She's been standing there for some time." Helena remained stationary, smiling slightly.
Steve turned around to see a very tired Myka leaning against another crate watching them. A pained, tired smile flitted across her face as he stood up. She looked at him with grateful thanks on her face. Carefully extracting himself, he placed a hand on Myka's shoulder in passing. Myka dropped to the floor against the crate, pulling the cold body into her lap.
"How did you know?" Helena asked against the quickly dampening neck from unheeded tears.
"How do you think? I felt it. It was a good thing Pete was driving. He said he'd never seen anything like it, unless it was artifact induced. Which it kind of was, I guess. It was so strong it physically slammed me back against the seat. He had to pull over for me to throw up. Sometimes this thing isn't so great." She stroked the head buried in her neck. "I always knew you had to do it alone. I just wish I was a little closer when it happened. I guess Steve was the chosen one. I sometimes wonder about that silent place you two have." Myka stretched her leg out hooking one of the photos with her toe, dragging it within her reach. She couldn't help but smile at the bright eyes and devilish smile staring back at her.
"It's not so different from ours. It's just not you and that makes all the difference in the world."
"No one could have ever doubted she was your daughter."
"No. I highly doubt they did. She was a very forgiving child. She was never as restless as I always was. She did, however, have her mother's temper." She took the framed photo out of Myka's hand, stroking the face.
"Do you want to stay longer?" Myka asked feeling a new chill.
"No, not now that you're home. I'm exhausted, I'm cold, and I ache all over. The rest can wait."
"Artie's declared mandatory time off for Pete and me. Let's go home. I need to sleep in your arms."
It was late in the morning that Myka woke to the murmuring in her ear, arms wrapped tightly around her from behind. Bright light struggled to break through the cracks around the closed blinds. Listening carefully, she interpreted the spoken language of the slumbering.
"My darling child. Yes, I love you. Just one night. Please. I'll be there soon. I'm right here. One night."
Myka turned in Helena's arms, concerned she was having another nightmare, but it didn't feel like one. "Helena," she whispered softly kissing her forehead. "Helena, are you okay?"
"Hmm? She's okay. She said we're okay." Helena rolled over. "She said okay. Soon. Sleep."
Confused in her own fog, Myka spooned the warm body, drifting back off, soon mumbling in her own drowsy state. "Good. One night. I'll be there. She's okay. Promise. Got her. Yes…mine."
Struggling through a thick fog, Myka panicked for a moment, disoriented. She kept her eyes closed, calming her breaths, reorienting herself, mentally making a checklist. On stomach. Warm. Bed. Foot of bed. Pillows – lots of pillows. She slowly reached out a hand. Edge of mattress. Wrong side. Okay. Other side. Cold. Helena? She buried her head deeper in the soft pillows, calming with the scent penetrating her sleepy daze. She smiled. She was home. Yes, home. Her stomach rumbled. She opened her eyes slowly. The white queen sat on Helena's nightstand standing guard in front of the photo of Christina.
Her stomach growled. She curled around the pillows sniffing the aroma in the air. Her stomach growled again. Definitely dinner, and a hint of warm chocolate. She sat up finding clean clothes sitting on the end of the bed. She pulled the sheets up around her and wrinkled her nose. Crawling out of the bed, she grabbed the clothing and jumped into the shower, her stomach protesting at the odors from below.
Freshly showered, the bed made with fresh sheets, Myka's stomach pulled her downstairs with the sheets in her arms for the wash, throwing them at the basement door. Stepping behind the figure on the sofa, she bent over kissing the back of the bare neck of the head bent over reading. Helena dropped her head automatically with a quiet moan. Myka inhaled deeply from the gap in the back of her shirt, brushing her lips up Helena's spine back across the neck summoning her again, eliciting another moan.
"Mmmm. I love the way you smell. You had to put it up in a ponytail, didn't you?" Myka said softly against the warm skin, her lips refusing to lose contact.
"I don't smell like anything, and I put it up because it was easy." Helena leaned her head back, protecting her neck from anymore assaults, greeting Myka with a kiss. "I really shouldn't have to keep my hair down just to keep your hormones at bay. However, I admit it does come in handy sometimes."
"I know. You use that to your advantage - often. Don't think I don't know that. It's a catch-22. I either want to ravish your neck or run my fingers through your hair," Myka commented wandering into the kitchen. A glass of milk sat beside a small plate of cookies. She ignored the milk and bit into a cookie taking two more with her. Falling backwards over the end of the sofa, she scooted back to put her head in Helena's lap. Eating another cookie, she closed her eyes. "Mmmm. I can't believe you made chocolate chip cookies. Pete will be so happy, but not nearly as happy as me." She opened her eyes examining the vision above. "No offense, but you look like crap." She offered the last cookie, watching white teeth take a sudden chomp.
"So do you. And your head is getting my lap wet." She threw a pillow in Myka's face.
Myka tucked the pillow under her head staring up into the tired brown eyes. "Did you have any dreams last night? I guess I mean today, this morning...whatever. You were talking to Christina again, I think."
"No." Helena paused, surprised by her answer. "I don't remember any. Let's hope that becomes more of a habit. I'm tired though." She rested her head back, closing her eyes. "Did you?"
"No, thank god. You made cookies and dinner? How did I get so lucky? Thank you for the cookies. What's for dinner? It smells glorious!"
"Glorious? It's meatloaf, baked potatoes, and broccoli." She set the book aside, playing with the damp curling hair. "We haven't had a proper meal together recently. It'll be nice to have our own food at our own table. Alone. I've enjoyed eating with everyone and the chaos that ensures, but I miss our quiet meals." She looked down at Myka's equally tired face, tracing the faint creases forming across her forehead.
Myka looked into soft eyes, curious. "Helena, can I ask you something? And I want an honest answer."
She reached down with a finger, wiping off some chocolate from the corner of Myka's mouth licking it off before answering seriously. "My, this does seem a very significant inquiry, indeed. What do you wish to know?"
Very seriously and in great thought she looked directly into Helena's eyes. "Do you even like meatloaf?"
She burst out laughing, struggling to catch her breath.
"What's so funny?" Myka asked, quickly sitting up and turning onto her knee tucked underneath.
Caressing the side of Myka's face gently, Helena gave her a sympathetic look. "Oh, darling, I am sorry. After last night I was expecting something far deeper than 'Do you like meatloaf?'. In truth, it is not my favorite meal, but I am not opposed to eating it. It's one of your favorites, so I make it for you. I managed to get your mother's recipe," she added proudly. "Why do you ask?" She watched Myka's eyes, searching for the deeper meaning behind the question.
Thoughtful, Myka continued, "Why do you go to movie night with me? They're generally not the type we watch here alone, and most of them I know you really have no interest in."
"Where is this coming from, Myka?" she asked seriously. Not getting an answer, she shrugged her shoulders, running her fingers through the damp hair. "Well, I suppose because it affords the rare night with family when we are all home, we get to openly share a more intimate occasion without having to worry about the social constraints I once lived by, and honestly, I did not appreciate having until we moved to Atlanta. You enjoy the majority of the movies, I believe. When you don't, we get in trouble in the corner chair and end up leaving early anyway." She smiled at the memory of having a bowl of popcorn thrown at them New Years Eve.
"Huh." Myka resumed her former position in Helena's lap, pulling on her bottom lip, thinking, until the timer went off and Helena left her behind to check dinner.
"Ten more minutes. It's just resting," Helena announced leaning over the back of the sofa watching Myka still pulling on her lip.
Looking up at the proud face she asked yet another question. "Why did you ask Artie to teach you to cook, and when?"
Accepting this odd conversation Helena leaned her arms on the back of the sofa and thought back. It seemed so long ago. "I'm not sure I remember exactly when I asked him. I know I had to work on him quite a bit and it was before the ankle surgery. But, I remember why. It was when I had the last bad sprain. You hounded me, and Claudia started asking about my past. I realized how much had changed. It was after you gave me back the locket. I kicked you out, remember? But you came running later that night when I had the nightmare. You weren't even in the house." She frowned slightly gathering her thoughts. "Myka, you've always taken care of me. I wanted to do the same for you, but you so rarely seem to need it. You're so…strong. I've always depended on you and never knew how very much. Anyway, I realized how much time we were spending here and thought, since we were indeed sharing our lives together, we needed to expand our independence. It was the only thing I could think of at the time, as small as it was, to take care of you. To take on one of our basic needs. As it so happens, I discovered I actually enjoy it and Artie was a very patient teacher."
"And that included meatloaf?"
Eyes bright, Helena's face lit up. She reached down lightly tugging the hair around Myka's ear, caressing it at the same time. "As I said it's one of your favorite dishes. Of course it was one of my first masteries."
Sitting up, Myka turned, leaning her face forward over the back of the sofa, tilting her head to face Helena's calm expression. "When you got home from retrievals, what was the first thing you did?"
"What?" she laughed.
"When you got home, first got home…"
"No. I understand the question, I'm just not following the rationale behind these questions."
"Curiosity?"
Helena shrugged not believing it was the complete answer. "Well, after a very deep sigh of relief, I searched for you. I needed to touch you. Remind myself that you, my strength and warmth and hope, were still here and I was indeed truly home. Home is in your arms. I was never settled or felt completely at home until I was hugging you. I hated arriving to find you gone. I didn't sleep well and spent most of my time in the warehouse keeping busy until you were home. I'm not sure if it annoyed or pleased Artie more."
"And now?"
"I'm not sure. I don't think we've been back long enough to establish anything concrete. I do know that I still do not sleep well when you are gone and apparently I get bitchy. We'll adjust, but I will always need you first." She tapped Myka's nose lightly and kissed the tip. "Enough of this serious talk. Dinner is getting cold now. Let's eat, snuggle, fall asleep on the sofa and go to bed so we can sleep until noon."
"And the crate?" Myka asked quietly, stopping the slight form from behind in a loose hug.
Helena leaned back, carefully unwrapping the arms folded around her, not letting go of Myka's hands. "Tomorrow?"
Myka squeezed the hands before releasing them. "Tomorrow. 'Cause apparently someone loves me and made me meatloaf even though she's tired."
"May I come in?" Artie asked uncertainly, watching the process of memories being put back in a box, some more lovingly than others.
Helena stood up with a book in her hand, taking a moment to return to the present and register the voice behind her. She tossed the book into the crate and bent down to pick up the hammer. "Seeing as you have already successfully passed through the gates of hell," she eyed the hanging cloud above her, "and no harm has come to you, I hardly see that my answer is pertinent. You are already here." She grunted, replacing the crate's cover.
"Where's Myka?" He sat on a crate with an exaggerated groan.
"Still sleeping I imagine. She's quite worn out, for some reason. You wouldn't happen to know why that would be, now would you?" She slammed the hammer against the crate, driving four nails through the corners, six more through the edges, and turned around dropping the hammer on the ground, the hard metal ringing around them.
"I didn't have a lot of choice. The Regents still have some doubts and wanted to push her. It was their request and they have reasons beyond the obvious. She needed to be tested. She's already left twice."
"Because of me."
"Don't flatter yourself. She left of her own volition, regardless of her reasons, which were many. We need to talk."
"Ah, yes. She did mention you wanted to have a chat. Are we going to go for a stroll too and how many secrets must I keep from her this time? I think I've been asked to keep far too many in the past as it is."
"I'm not the one to be angry with, HG. I had nothing to do with that."
"I'm not angry with you, Artie. I'm merely stating a fact and making it very clear that I will not keep such secrets from her again." She leaned against Christina's crate, arms crossed defensively across her chest.
Artie pulled his glasses off, pinching the bridge of his nose and rubbing his face. "If you're not ready for this it can wait. I know this," he motioned to the crate with his glasses, "can't be an easy process."
"Yes. Well, this is not going away anytime soon. I fear it is just the beginning." She sighed and closed the distance sitting on the crate next to him. "They don't trust me do they?"
"It's not a matter of trust. They are anxious to have you back, but they do have concerns." He held up his hands warding her off before the argument. "And they are very valid. If you stop and think about it, you'll agree. No one doubts your eagerness or your abilities, OR your loyalties. You've always been a good agent and a valued addition to the team, aside from previous, uh..."
"Evil doings?" she offered sarcastically.
"However you want to put it. You stepped up for Myka recently, but reality is, you have not been active for well over a year before this last jaunt, and Quebec was very traumatic physically and psychologically. Not to mention your pre-Christmas activities. They want you and everyone agrees you belong here, but they question your stability. Hey, I'm not done," he said seeing her mouth start to open to argue. "The deal we've been able to agree on is this: You will be on probation. We start you with supposedly less stressful, short-term, easy trips, which we both know all go to hell anyway, you meet with Abigail once a week, minimum. You were terrified when you left for the cow thing, but you did it. And you did it well. I had to do it when the opportunity presented itself. You needed to find out for yourself where you belonged and not be afraid of it. Quebec left its scars on both of you. Mrs. Frederic and I have fought very hard for you. This is where you belong and thrive, and we want that for you."
"Mrs. Frederic and you?" Helena turned to look at him confused.
"Yes. She always knew you'd find your way back here and I can't imagine you anywhere else. Myka agrees." Placing his glasses back on, he clasped his chubby hands resting his forearms on his thighs.
"But what does Myka have to do with this?"
"If you just shut up and listen to me you'll realize a lot. When I say you are a complication, I'm not just grumbling about you specifically, though you have been a pain in my ass since day one."
"I did save your life…" she smirked.
"And then you shot me!" he barked back
"Technically…"
"Can we continue?" he asked getting annoyed with the turn of conversation. "The Regents have never had to deal with two active agents in a committed…whatever you two are calling it today. God knows it'll be something else tomorrow. Personally I wish you'd do something about that, get it done with and save us all the grief." He sighed when she glared at him. "Romantic associations, yes, but never anything involving any sort of commitment. You two are setting a precedent. One of their concerns is how your relationship will affect your actions. I've already asked Myka and I need to ask you, although I personally already experienced the answer. If you were put in a position in which a sacrifice came between Myka and another agent, who would you chose?"
"Artie that is an unfair question and this has never been an issue before!" Helena exploded, offended. "I imagine if you asked anyone here, you would get the same answer regardless of who was involved. Any of us would sacrifice ourselves in an attempt to save the others. I could never choose one over another, and I don't really see how one can honestly answer that question without knowing the circumstances until put in that position."
Artie nodded his head slightly. "Like I said, and I told the Regents as well, I've already experienced your answer."
"Not that again," Helena cried disgusted. It would forever haunt her.
"You can't hide from it, Helena. I know you'd always be the first to sacrifice yourself for Myka, and she for you, but it would not be at the expense of someone else."
"So then, I'm on probation, Myka is just another agent on the field and I'm required to dig through my head every week, once again." She stood up quickly walking away.
"Now, for the next thing the Regents want to address…" He stopped her.
She turned on him. "What? There's more? How difficult can this be? Just throw me out in the bloody field and I'll do what they want."
"This is part of my chat with Myka. I told you, you were a complication. It's not just you, HG, it's both of you. You present a unique situation to this organization. Domestic issues always complicate things. That's why most work environments frown upon them. Take that and multiply it by a factor of ten for warehouse life and we have major complications. I have to say though, that you both handle it very professionally, with a few exceptions here and there, including, but not limited to the library and the room off the dark vault." He cleared his throat.
"Oh. You know about that? The library was never a secret, but...And here we thought…"
"I know what you thought. And if there is a place left, I don't want to know about it! Can we get back to the point? You are just as bad as Myka. Ahem. In regards to the future. As with any relationship there is always a question of, uh, expansion within the family unit."
"Children," she said for him, narrowing her eyes. She patted the crate she'd just closed. "I've already been down that road, Artie. Quite familiar with that, thank you."
"And that's why you're torturing yourself over the contents of that crate. So, yes, children. Obviously they do exist. Pete for example. You are the unknown. It's never been a known situation with two agents before. I'm not asking, but if that were a consideration…" He looked off down the aisle, pulling on the collar of his shirt. He hated the personal stuff, and resented the Regents for even bringing the topic up. He felt it was way too early to make assumptions. "They are not going to say no, but they are not thrilled by the thought either. If a decision is made to pursue a family, family dynamics aside, unless you adopt, she who is pregnant is automatically taken out of the field and has no contact with any known artifacts."
"They make it sound like a disease!" Helena blurted disgusted.
"Doctor Calder agrees with the Regents. It applies to ANY female agent. IF that is the direction you decide to take, then further discussion will occur at that time."
"One more thing. The Regents' future design. Myka."
Helena leaned back looking at him suspiciously. "Shouldn't Myka be here for this?"
"She said it was okay. I, hopefully, will get out of this loony bin at some point, and Myka's been asked to be my future replacement." Helena's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Another reason they have pushed her. She's going to be here working with me more often. She's sort of my version of Mrs. Frederic's Claudia, assuming you are both in agreement. I can't ask Myka to accept without acknowledging you as a major factor in her decision. That's for you two to discuss. This may offer you both some flexibility you wouldn't otherwise have and opportunities you may not otherwise consider. There were many reasons for that remodeling. We knew you wouldn't want to live here. You're not really the cranky, old bachelor types. Claudia designed a pretty impressive network to the warehouse from there."
Leaning back against the crate, she crossed her arms and stared at the floor thinking. Bits of wood surrounded her. She lifted her head staring at him. Calmly, he looked back, and then looked away finding interest in the other crates and boxes around him.
"What are you not telling me, Artie? Why the sudden interest in Myka?" She narrowed her eyes, looking at him suspiciously.
"Um, nothing." She stared him down, getting that scary gleam in her eye that still unnerved him. "Okay, fine. Myka knows now. She's always been intended to replace me and now is a good time to start working her into it. I asked Vanessa to marry me. Something you might want to consider yourself. Stop confusing us all. You are forbidden to tell anyone!"
She grinned coming to sit beside him. "Why would I ask Vanessa to marry me when I already have Myka?"
"I don't need your sarcasm," he bit back.
"Ah, yes. Well, aside from my personal life, it wasn't meant to be. Congratulations. My, my, my. Artie has decided to live life. Rather freeing, isn't it?" She leaned back bringing her knees up and wrapping her arms around them. "So that's what Vanessa meant…" she pondered.
"Meant about what?" He jerked his head around at her.
"Oh, nothing for you to worry about. She merely eluded to the fact that her professional skills would be more readily available in the near future. No, honestly, Artie, I'm happy for you both. Can I assume another remodeling job is soon to take place?"
"As far away from you two as possible!" he cried getting flustered.
She threw her head back laughing. "You're the newlyweds. We'll be sure to keep our windows tightly closed." She bumped his shoulder.
"Don't touch me." He chuckled. "And your honeymoon never seems to end."
"One can only hope," she said whimsically smiling at more recent memories. "It's an art form, Artie. Pure art."
"I don't need to know these things, but I have an idea I'll discover more than I really want to. I liked being the last to know about your…" he made a sour face shaking his whole body. He laughed shaking his head. "What a pair we are, you and I." He stopped laughing nodding at the crate. "What are you going to do with it?"
She stopped laughing, following his gaze. "I don't know. I see no purpose that it serves other than holding a past while I struggle for a future."
He patted her knee standing up. "Maybe it is your door to the future. Go home. You look like crap and I gave someone else some well earned time off to spend with you. Enjoy it." He looked up at the still turbulent cloud above. "You'll figure it out or I'll have to fire you." He held out his hand. "Come on."
She jumped back from the offered hand, nearly falling off the crate. Hesitantly, she took hold of it, recognizing the warmth that had often been offered and always ignored.
Chapter Text
"Hey, Myka. What's up? I was just making some mulled cider and I think it's just about done. Do you want some?" Abigail offered pulling out a mug from the cupboard.
"Uh, yeah, sure," she answered distracted, frowning. "Is Helena over here? She's not at the house and she's not answering her phone. She left a note this morning saying that she'd be working in the office when she was done at the warehouse." She took the cup, absently setting it down on the counter untouched.
"I think so. She came over awhile ago and I haven't seen her leave. Last I knew she was hanging out in front of the fire with Steve." She pulled out another cup, filling it. "Here. Take this to her. It's her recipe."
"Wait a minute…she gave you her recipe?" Myka turned abruptly, shocked. "No one's ever been able to get that out of her including me and I have powers of persuasion no one else has."
"We know," Abigail replied dryly, raising her eyebrows. "We all know."
"Really, Abigail? You too? Stop thinking like Pete."
"Myka, I have one word for you; Christmas."
Myka grimaced, turning red. "Right. But it's not what you think. I know where she's most ticklish, and it's not a spot you'd normally think of. It's getting to it that's the hard part. Works almost every time. I'd tell you, but she'd kick you down in two seconds and then she'd kill me. I don't think you want a broken nose and I don't want to be lost in the unknown depths of the warehouse." Myka grinned and picked up the cup tasting the cider. Her eyes widened. "Oh, my god. She really gave it up. Is she okay? Did she get whammied this morning?"
"I don't think so." Abigail shrugged. "I didn't realize it was such a secret."
"Big time secret." Myka picked up the other cup heading out to the family room. "My advice is, you take it to your grave or you'll find yourself in one. Just write it down for me first." Myka heard Abigail laugh as the door shut behind her.
Myka strolled into the warm room, careful not to spill the cider, inhaling the comforting smell of the wood fire mixed with the aroma of the spiced cider in her hands. Helena was lying on her stomach stretched out in front of the dying fire, head resting on her arms in front of her. She set the cups on the side table, and pushed the coffee table up against the sofa out of her way making room for the two of them.
"Hey, you. Still awake?" Myka squatted down and placed her hand on the warm back, rubbing it gently, feeling the muscles contract beneath her hand.
"Mmmm. I'm not sure," she mumbled into the cave made by her arms. She turned her head to the side, eyes still closed. "You're back. I was going to help with the groceries, but you'd already left. Steve and I were talking. Claudia and Pete were chasing after each other for some reason. Something about chocolate chip cookies I think. I hope you picked up a bag of chocolate chips. It sounds like I'll be making more very soon."
"No big deal and I make sure you have at least one bag in the pantry. What are you doing over here? We have our own fireplace you know. Lower maintenance, too. You flip a switch. Got room for me?" She sat down beside the buried head not waiting for an answer.
Helena sat up leaning into the chilled body, opening her mouth for a full welcoming kiss. "Mmmm," she opened her eyes, smiling at the brilliant green reflecting the flames. "You've been drinking cider."
"Your recipe I hear. What's up with that?" Myka got up grabbing the two cups forgotten on the table by the sofa.
"What's the point in having an old family secret recipe if you don't keep it in the family? I have no one else to pass it on to." She smiled impishly taking the cup. "Cheers!" Drinking the cider Helena's eyes opened wide. "Oh, this is good. I do believe Abigail is now officially in charge of mulled cider. She makes it better than I ever did."
Myka put her cup down. She gave Helena a questioning face reaching out to push back some loose hair behind her ear. "I thought you planned on working in the office on the newest and greatest buried somewhere in that mess. We really need to get you another desk."
"I like my desk. I know where everything is," Helena proclaimed proudly in her defense.
"That's what scares me. I meant another one in addition to that one. You need more room and that extra room usually ends up being my desk." Myka nudged her shoulder slightly. "Talk to Artie. We may be able to arrange another furniture swap if you want from London." She paused watching the inventory silently flip through Helena's head. "So why are you over here?"
"Would you believe me if I said it was too quiet at home and I missed the chaotic sounds of stomping feet on the stairs and the constant stream of snide comments and laughter?" she asked with a crooked grin. "Honestly, I wasn't ready to be alone."
Myka smiled, lying on the floor, pulling the thin woman down with her.
"Actually, yes. Why do you think I stayed here instead of moving back alone? As much as I missed and worried about you when I got here, it was nice to be around that again. Home can be too quiet sometimes." Myka stood up putting two more logs on the cooling fire. "Scoot back. It's going to get hot soon," she said sitting down watching the flicker of flames catch on the new logs.
Helena settled her head in the warm lap, Myka's hand automatically drawn to the thick hair. Helena fought off the sleep inducing action, finally closing her eyes, enjoying the light scrape of nails against her scalp and neck. She'd almost dozed off completely with the heat from the fire and the smell of the burning wood when a race through the house landed Claudia on the sofa screeching with Steve close behind.
"Seriously? Don't you two have a fireplace? 'Cause if this is turning into a make out session…"
"We're just sitting here!" Myka exclaimed to the flames. "Last I knew a certain redhead was complaining we weren't spending enough family time over here." Myka bent her head back looking at Claudia upside down.
"Well, yeah, but I meant with us, not all comfy cozy by yourselves in front of the fire. We were going to watch a movie. How about that family time now or are we interrupting something? 'Cause if that's the case, you're going home." Claudia crawled across the table looking at the two hopefully.
"What's the movie and am I required to move?" Helena asked turning her head slightly, mildly annoyed with the disturbance now, despite her earlier comment.
Claudia beamed as Steve jumped in, "Some moving required, no watching actually required, popcorn definitely required and the movie is Batman Begins."
Smiling at their enthusiasm, Myka looked down at Helena, doubtful, feeling obligated to stay. Helena reluctantly nodded her head. "Go make the popcorn," Myka said reluctantly. "Both of you. We'll readjust the furniture."
Helena sat up as the other two bolted out of the room. With a heavy sigh she said, "I had hoped we could talk about the crate and Artie had his little chat with me."
"And you falling asleep on my lap was doing that how? We can still go home if you want." Myka's eyes brightened hopefully.
"No. We can talk later. We just won't stay for dinner. My arrival a few hours ago negates any indecency in saying no. She's been bugging us for this time and Steve was genuinely happy for my company earlier. Truth be told, we haven't spent a great deal of time with them since Christmas. You, however, do want to say something, don't you?"
"I just didn't want it to wait." They moved the coffee table to accommodate the possible growing crowd and allow themselves maximum cuddle room. "I heard from Dr. Calder this morning."
"Damn it!" Helena hissed when she dropped the table on her foot, looking at Myka concerned.
"I'm fine. Really. Like she said, I'm healthy as a horse and her theory sticks that she thinks the past few months have just been excessively stressful, so start decompressing more. She also said don't be surprised if this month is worse than usual too since our stress levels are still higher. I got lectured again. We need to talk."
Foot forgotten, concern crossed Helena's face immediately.
"It's nothing to worry about and there's no rush," Myka jumped in quickly. "I'm fine." She laughed. "Then she suggested more exercise and, how did she put it? Yeah, more fifty mile phone calls are helpful if for nothing else than relieving stress."
"Who do I kill? Pete or Claudia?" Helena asked in a low growl.
"I vote for Pete. He'll be here soon, and whatever it is, I don't want to know." Claudia placed the bowl of popcorn on the table bouncing onto the sofa, Steve and Abigail close behind with a tray of beverages.
Helena placed her hands flat on the table leaning forward, turned and glared at her. "Don't be so certain of that, my dear girl." Looking up at Myka with worried eyes she asked quietly, "She's sure?"
"Very certain…about everything I discussed with her." Myka's face slowly brightened, meeting her in the middle of the table as a mirror image. "Helena," she said quietly, "we do have options."
"What options?" Claudia asked, putting her feet up on the table, crossing her ankles beneath them. "And can I just say, you make a better door than a window."
"None of your business!" they said in unison glaring at Claudia.
"Geez. Fine." Claudia pushed a bowl of popcorn at them. "Down in front."
"Problem?" Abigail asked sitting down, eyeing the three in visual combat.
"Nope," Claudia answered cheerily, handing a bowl of popcorn over.
Still cold, Helena lay in front of Myka to face the fire, ignoring the previews. Myka's hand started exploring in their small space of semi-privacy. Helena grabbed the roaming hand and turned around in Myka's arms, kissing her tenderly. "We could just go home now." Myka kissed her more deeply, eliciting a slight moan. Three pieces of popcorn landed on them from three different directions.
"Hey, keep the clothing on or get a room, better yet just go home," Claudia griped. "It's called 'family' time, meaning G-rated."
Helena laughed, throwing the popcorn back at the sofa. "Oh, Claudia, my poor, darling girl. Trust me when I say clothing has very little to do with anything and I highly doubt this qualifies as a G-rated movie."
"It's PG-13. Abigail and I count as parents, sort of, so kissing is allowed, but no making out, geez," Steve entered the argument. "But kissing only, as long as you stay up there where we can't see you. And no necks, Myka. She's not that quiet."
Another handful of popcorn scattered around them. Helena savored one last kiss before turning back around. "I have so missed these persecutions disguised as family time. We are behaving." More quietly she added for Myka's benefit, "I'd say this movie just turned into your seventy-five miles."
"In your words, quite possibly," Myka softly bit her ear lobe. "Don't think I'm going to make it easy either." She worked her hand under Helena's shirt, lightly racking her nails across her stomach, feeling the contracting muscles and the sudden spreading of goose bumps across the bare skin.
"You are being cruel," Helena growled quietly, quickly grabbing the teasing hand. She turned around facing Myka again, closing her eyes. "Myka, you did pack everything from Tenerife, didn't you?" she whispered in her ear.
"Absolutely everything," she responded smiling against Helena's lips.
"Good girl. Unfortunately, I fear I just made this movie one hundred miles."
This was new, Myka thought, the side of her face flat against the mattress, a pillow jammed against the headboard. Helena's arms wrapped around her own on either side of her head, her right hand tightly clinging to Helena's, the left held down in a surprisingly firm grasp. She still hesitated in applying too much pressure on Helena's left hand, always allowing her to gauge pressure, fearful of damaging any healing nerves. Her calves were still wrapped by the woman engulfing her. Helena's head remained buried between her shoulder blades, uneven, open mouthed exhalations playing with a lock of hair, tickling her shoulder with each breath. She could almost guarantee they'd be stuck together by the moisture between their bodies.
Eyes closed, Myka chuckled to herself, slightly jiggling the weight on top of her. Yep, they were stuck together. Maybe Helena was wrong and they really were bonking bunnies. She tried to let go of the slender hands, meeting resistance.
"Sweetie, what happened to talking after the movie?" she asked laughing into the bed.
"Someone has roaming hands and shops well in foreign countries. How did the movie end?" Helena mumbled into Myka's back, nuzzling the sweet spot she loved so much and settled her head back, closing her eyes.
"I have no idea. I assume the bad guys lost, but it was left open for a possible sequel," Myka said before clearing her throat. "Speaking of shopping trips…"
"Not sure. Side of bed I think. Didn't keep track." Helena turned her head to the other side staring at the glowing light from the bathroom.
"Mmm. I remember. I was here." She chuckled into the mattress wondering exactly what never got written into those journals. "Then you had different ideas. Not that I'm complaining. Far from it." She grunted, feeling the pressure from above on her lower back. "Honey, I really love this, but we're getting stuck to each other and you're getting a little heavy. My back is starting to hurt."
At first she thought the shaking on top of her was the beginnings of a giggle fit and was ready to bounce her lover off until she felt her hands squeezed with enormous strength and felt the first warm drops of tears run down her shoulder. She quickly tried to crawl out from underneath the emotional transformation, cringing at the release of skin but was unable to move her hands.
"Let go," Myka said calmly.
Helena released the hands immediately, almost limp now. Myka sat up against the cold headboard as Helena quickly straddled her lap, head dropping heavily on her shoulder, sobbing. At first confused, Myka's arms enveloped her waiting for a moment of calm when the realization stabbed her in the gut.
Suddenly, the most indescribable, unearthly, inhuman sound ever born from the human soul grew from the deepest, darkest recesses of an unimaginable depth. It wasn't a scream or a wailing of any kind Myka had ever experienced before and surpassed anything she ever heard. It shattered all of space and time, resonating through her body from the tortured creature in her arms. One that was beyond all reason and sense of existence grasping the headboard, shaking it with unknown strength, knuckles white, reaching to hold onto a single strand of humanity.
"It's okay, sweetheart. Just let it go. Let it go. I've got you. I promise." Myka dropped her head on Helena's convulsing shoulder, sobbing now with the raw pain and rage she felt, allowing the process to reach its final destination. "You've held onto it long enough. Let it go." She held her loosely and rested a hand on the violent head, protecting its forehead from the wall behind them, waiting for exhaustion to take over.
Time stopped. Myka held on through the beating of fists on the wall, the occasional attempt of a head, the constant wailing of a sound she never wanted to hear again. As the clock started to tick again they managed to slip down the headboard and back to the bed, Helena's sobbing continuing into Myka's neck until a yawn took over that over-stretched her jaw, making it pop.
"Oww," she whimpered, breathing through her mouth. Myka stretched across the bed returning with the tissue box. "I'm sorry. I don't understand." Tears still falling, she blew her nose and burrowed into Myka's neck again discovering the mess she'd left behind. "I'm sorry," she started crying again, trying to wipe Myka clean.
Myka stopped the hand of crumpled tissues and grabbed the sheet, wiping herself off and gently replacing Helena's head. "I think the sheets were pretty much a lost cause already. I don't think a little snot is going to make a difference."
She blew her nose again, adding to the growing pile of tissues. "I don't understand, Myka. Why? Where did that come from? God, my head is pounding."
"You don't know? Oh, sweetie. After all these years of tightly controlled restraint and redirection, it finally broke," Myka stated. "I don't ever want to feel that much pain from you again. I don't know how you did it. You never broke after she died, did you?"
"Like you said, I redirected, and very poorly, too. Why now, out of nowhere?" she cried.
She cradled the smaller woman, rocking her with the returning sobs. "I think I know and I'm pretty sure you do too. It's not just out of nowhere. There are no coincidences. You've literally opened up the past." She waited patiently for the unpredictable silence. Sensing the final calm, Myka got up, the pile of tissues falling to the floor, and started dressing. She looked up at Helena still in the middle of the bed. She leaned in, caressing the side of her wet face. "Come on. Can you get dressed?" She kissed her forehead and handed her some clothes. "We're not bringing this into our bedroom. There's enough here already. Uh, don't freak out when you see the blood on your chest; it's mine." She winced at the sight.
She looked down at herself before pulling on the sweatshirt looking back at Myka with shock and confusion.
"Really, Helena?" She laughed lightly, her head pounding from her own tears. "You actually have to think that one through?" She pulled the back of her shirt up, revealing the long red stripes down her back as she waited at the door. "It's okay. Don't look so upset." She crawled back on the bed tucking Helena's arms through the sweatshirt, and pulling her hair out the back. She smiled sadly when Helena dropped her head on her shoulder again and stroked her back gently. "It's nothing new and you know it. I'm fine. You haven't scarred me yet. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing." She smiled. "Come on. This sounds really lame, but we have strawberry ice cream."
She felt the weak shaking of laughter through the body in her arms breaking the tension.
"Myka, I…"
"Hush. Finish your ice cream. It's strawberry." Myka poked her spoon at her from the opposite side of the sofa.
"But I'm cold," she answered weakly just short of a whine. "And my head hurts."
Myka took their bowls into the kitchen returning with a glass of milk and the bottle of ibuprofen. She grabbed a blanket as Helena drained the glass and set it on the table. Helena lay down, backing up in the sofa making room for Myka, getting covered with the blanket.
"I am so sorry…" Helena started feeling a finger against her lips.
"Don't ever apologize for that. Part of me never wants to experience that again, but the other part, the real part, never wants you to hold back again. Claudia warned us. We knew none of this would be a pain free process. How's your head?"
"It's been better."
"I'm sorry." She kissed the sticky forehead. "I don't know how else to start this. Want to tell me why you suddenly decided to open it up and then just quickly packed it up this morning while I was sleeping? I thought you might have wanted to share a little more than just a glance." She waited patiently, gazing into still red rimmed eyes.
"You said, yes," she said simply, shrugging.
"I said yes." Myka traced the lips in front of her gazing into the deep brown of uncertainty. A hint of a smile curled the side of her mouth. "Yes, I did. I said yes." She paused for a moment. "So you decided it was time to open Christina's crate because I said yes."
"You deserve an answer in return. Until I face her, Myka, I won't know. You know that. I don't understand how or why that crate is here, but it is."
"And it's contributing to Artie's problem, not to mention affecting us."
"It would appear so, but we've always known that, haven't we? Myka, why did you tell me, and why then? You were gone before I got to the bedroom door. I do miss the loft sometimes."
"The loft. You're complaining about not having a loft anymore? Are you avoiding the crate now?"
"Not at all. It was merely a comment. It was much easier to yell over a wall from the bed than stumble to a door, trapped in a sheet, to be heard. You asked why I opened it and I'm telling you why I did. I'm asking why you chose that moment to tell me."
Groaning slightly, Myka sat up. "Sorry. I need to sit up, honey. Can I get in the corner? You really were starting to hurt my back." She stretched out her arms, bending over to stretch her back. "God. Is this what it's like to get old? Your wife can't sleep on you? That just sucks."
Helena ran her hands down the long back. "I wouldn't know. I'm only 37."
Myka turned her head around. "Riiight. Want to boost that just a little? I don't care what your passport says and you're still older than me. Who did you flirt with for that anyway?"
"I resent that. They asked me how old I was so I told them. It's not my fault no one never bothered to go back and figure out if it was right. The system will catch the error at some point. Have no worries about that." She dug her thumbs into the tightening muscles. "I am sorry. It isn't the best thing for one's back. It's just so…comfy. You like it too! You just like the front more."
"I don't have a preference. I like both sides," she countered at the doubting look she received. "I told you because you wanted to know without a discussion. We started a dialogue that morning, a conversation. That was enough for me. I thought you would need time on your own to process that a little before we talked more. Am I wrong? You're the one that wanted to know without the discussion."
"So, essentially you decided not only to answer my question, but also make your point about not talking about it by leaving me wondering exactly what the hell just happened. I underestimate you sometimes. That's something I would have done. However, you were right about needing the time to think. Next time may I suggest you not do it after you've left me in such a state, though?"
Myka just smiled down at her smugly. "Kind of the icing on the cake. Glowing much? You could light up our whole house sometimes."
"You really have been with me too long. Look at you, so proud of yourself. Like you're any different," Helena said.
Myka rested her head back, closing her eyes, willing the headache to ease, unconsciously playing with the hair in her lap. "Why did you pack it back up so quickly? I think you need to open it again."
"Why?" Helena sat up quickly, cringing against the searing pain in her head rebelling against the quick movement. "What purpose could it possibly serve beyond memories? I already have plenty of those."
Softly pushing Helena's head back down, rubbing the creases from the pained forehead, Myka shrugged. "I don't know. That's why we need to open it again. I think there's a reason it's here and so do you. Otherwise," she looked down at her, tapping her nose, "you wouldn't have opened it. This way, I also know I'm not going to end up throwing up somewhere on the side of the road. And selfishly, maybe, I hoped it would be something you'd want to share with me. It's a part of your life you seldom share with me, and that's starting to catch up with us. I don't expect you to share every part of your life with me, but this, Helena, is becoming a huge part. I always knew you had to make the decision and open it alone, but you shared more with Steve than you ever have with me that night. Maybe I'm just jealous."
Helena reached up touching the side of the uncertain face. "No, Myka, I didn't. I knew you were there the entire time. What I shared with him I was telling you. He was the conduit. You will always know more than anyone. This is something that will take time and you're the one that takes that journey with me. There is no need for you to be jealous of that place Steve and I connect. Ours is so much more. Reality is, I don't know who her father was and never will. It's not something I'm proud of. I would have liked to be able to tell her who her father was. I only know my preference would have been Robert. He at least I had some fondness for."
"It's never something we ever talk about. I have as many questions as anyone, probably more. I just always hoped you'd tell me on your own, but I think they are becoming more important, especially if we are considering a family. Not to mention we're sharing dreams about her."
Ignoring her aching head, Helena swung around on the sofa onto her knees facing Myka. "I promise you this, Myka, I will answer any question you ask. Just remember, it was a different time then and I was in many ways a very different person. But please take care, for I do not want to go through what I just experienced again, nor do I want you to experience it with me."
"There are no guarantees, but I think you're okay for now. I think it's part of the process. Just like the damned nightmares that won't go away. We'll get through it somehow. Remember? Bering and Wells."
"Wells and Being," Helena retorted calmly, crawling under the misplaced blanket and settling into Myka's side.
"Just for tonight."
Myka hugged her closer, rolling her eyes when she heard a quiet, "Maybe."
"The Regents don't trust me do they?" Helena asked softly. "Are they really that afraid I'll go off the deep end again or drag you with me? It doesn't seem fair all these restrictions."
"No." Myka turned her head around confused. "Where did you get that idea? What did Artie say to you?" She rolled her eyes shaking her head. "Ugh, he never does this stuff right. I told him I should be the one to tell you or at least be there. I knew he'd screw it up."
"Well, I'm on probation, they want my head sifted through again, and they seem to have some concerns regarding my stability. Afraid I'll try to blow up the world again?" she added sarcastically.
Sighing, Myka rested her head against the one settled on her shoulder. "No. That's not it at all. They are afraid of what they did to you. To us. They know there is no way we can come out of that unscathed. You didn't. We didn't. But mostly you. Until recently, you didn't have a working hand. I see your fingers still shake and I see you rub the top of your hand. We both know it's unlikely you'll write left-handed again. We'll always hold that hope, but reality is you will probably never have that fine motor control back." She took the hand in her own, rubbing her thumb across the top and caressed her jaw. "I know your jaw aches in the cold and so does your shoulder. Your left arm goes numb easily and I still catch you rubbing the bump on that collarbone." Helena turned her head around in surprise. "You don't even know you do it. Every time I touch that spot you tense for a split second. I found myself avoiding it, but I won't. One day you'll just be able to lay back and enjoy it. We will always have our scars. They can't ignore that and Jane will never let them forget.
"You need to remember," she continued, "when I asked for my job back and you finally came home, you didn't show any interest in going out there, for good reason as far as I'm concerned. But they want you - badly. They want both of us. Not just for us but as the package deal for some reason. That's what Artie and Mrs. Frederic argued about with them. Artie and Mrs. Frederic are trying to protect you and at the same time give you the chance to decide for yourself where you belong. They know you won't protect yourself. He never wanted to push you into something you didn't want. The Regents pushed and he said no until you offered to go out for me. Artie worries about you. He knows you have nightmares. He doesn't want to add to them. As far as the head digging goes, we all know what a stubborn ass you can be and want you to have a chance to use Abigail as a resource when you may otherwise ignore it. I agree. I have the same stipulations, so don't feel singled out. He didn't tell you that, did he? It's an adjustment coming back. Artie and Mrs. Frederic don't care if you and Abigail sit and stare at each other or go for a walk and talk about baseball. They want to make sure you don't fall through the cracks because you're being sent out and ignoring something that may really be an issue. You know Abigail isn't going to push. Hell, as far as she's concerned she's happy drinking cider and eating chocolate chip cookies. So as far as you being on 'probation', it's Artie's and Mrs. Frederic's way of taking care of their own. Not just you but me. I'm basically on probation too. Do you have any idea how worried I was with you going out there? Stupid really, considering what you were doing before Christmas," she laughed bitterly. "It's different for us. It'll always be more difficult for us to watch the other walk out the door than everyone else. It always has been. It's just never said."
"And are we each other's Achilles heel?"
"Probably. But honestly, Helena, I don't think we'll ever know until we're in that position. I don't think any of us know. For me, I'd have as hard a time choosing you over Pete or anyone else here. That's why we are all so special. We work as a team and function as a family. None of us could live with ourselves if we had to choose someone. We'd die trying to save both. And I know you answered that question pretty damn close to how I did."
"Then what is their issue with children? Why even bring it up? We've mentioned it to no one. Not that we're any closer to a decision mind you, but honestly," Helena added disgusted.
"I don't think they really have an issue per se. I think it's just an unknown and they don't know what to think." Myka snorted softly. "As far as I'm concerned, we're in control of that one. We have plenty of concerns of our own with bringing a child into OUR lives to worry about what the they think. As to why they bring it up now? My guess is because we've been together long enough and survived so much shit that it finally crossed someone's mind as a possibility. If you think about it, we've been together longer than a lot of marriages."
"Do you want to be the new Artie?" Helena turned her head, looking seriously at her.
"I don't know. I'll never be Artie."
"Maybe that's a good thing. God knows we don't need two of those. And we both know he will not be going anywhere anytime soon."
"That's for sure. Did he tell you why?" Myka asked hesitantly.
"Which part? The Regents' grand design for your future or his intended nuptials with our lovely Vanessa?" Helena laughed.
"Guess that answers that question." Myka scrunched her face up. "It feels weird."
"What feels weird?"
"Knowing the Regents always had that in mind for me, especially since I had absolutely no intention on staying," Myka said adamantly.
"Maybe it's not so much the Regents' choice as it is the warehouse's."
"I never thought of it that way. What do you think? Should I say yes? I'm being asked to take a position in which I'll need to make difficult decisions that involve you. I'm not sure I can do that."
"I know. I also know you'll decide what you think is best. As long as it does not enter the confines of our home. Can we manage that?" She paused, giving Myka time for her question to sink in. "When do they want an answer?"
"I think everyone is hoping for Area HG to go away first. He didn't say. He just said take all the time I wanted, but he wants his own Claudia if for no other reason than to have a backup and he doesn't want Pete." They both laughed at that idea. "He wants it to be a joint decision for us and understands you need to find your own footing here again."
"Then I think we have time." She heard an obnoxious sound in the background. "Oh, why does that thing always interrupt us? You're answering it this time. Do you get your own if you become Artie 2?" she called, settling down under the blanket as Myka ran to the office, ignoring the faint conversation from above.
"We need to finish this conversation later. Claudia says we need to get over to the warehouse ASAP."
"Does that girl ever sleep? It's nearly ten o'clock. Have we not been handed enough for one day?" She threw the blanket aside sitting up and rubbing her forehead. "My head is still pounding."
Myka grabbed their coats and threw a bottle at her. "Take some more ibuprofen. I know you're tired, but this sounds like a Bering and Wells thing."
"I thought we agreed Wells and Bering for tonight," she said before swallowing the pills. "Let me guess. Doom and Gloom?"
"Sort of." Myka took a deep breath, dreading her next words. "We don't need to worry about opening Christina's crate again. Someone did it for us."
Chapter Text
Even with the artificial lighting, Myka couldn't remember ever seeing her so pale before, except once; the first time she saw her after Quebec, beneath the bruised flesh, so small and broken in the hospital bed. For a moment she wasn't sure if she'd be holding her up in a second, but she merely walked forward into the center, sitting down on the floor. The cloud above was dark and turbulent, discharges flashing to the outskirts of the area. They'd met Claudia and Artie near the gate, unable to enter. No one said a thing. Not even a greeting. Myka turned sharply towards them, mouth already opening.
"Before you ask, this is what happened," Claudia interrupted, now sitting on the floor, her hands held up in protest of the surge of questions she knew Myka was going to spew at them. "Artie and I were closing up shop when the alarms went off and all the flashy lights started spinning. We didn't see anything. There is nothing on the tapes. A whole ten minutes is just black and then this. There is no sign of activity anywhere else and all cameras around here are clean. So it's not likely to be an intruder and seriously, if someone wanted to break in I really think that," she motioned towards the section, "would really be pretty low on the list. It's only important to her."
"That we know of," Artie added. "That in itself could be enough," he grumbled.
Claudia turned around to look at him. "No. Just trust me on this, Artie. I know and don't ask how I know. I just do. The Regents said no one is left lingering in the deep, dark, underground for her."
"Are we sure about that?" Myka snapped.
"Pretty darn sure. I've searched pretty deep," she looked at Artie anxiously ignoring his scolding gaze, "and kind of illegally into certain files that I'm not really supposed to look at…and yeah, I'm pretty sure they aren't lying about that. Besides, she won't let anyone else in without one of you with us. She isn't going to let just anyone in."
Pulling Claudia up by an arm, Artie continued concerned, "We'll double-check everything, but I tend to agree with my hacker happy friend here on this one. I'll let Mrs. Frederic know just in case the Regents are holding out on us. She'll want to know anyway, if she doesn't already. We have no answers…yet! But you should be safe. Keep the Farnsworth close and we'll be up monitoring. Let us know at the SLIGHTEST bit of anything abnormal."
Trying not to laugh, Myka just stared at him. "It's the warehouse, Artie. There is no such thing as normal here." She squeezed the bridge of her nose and rubbed her eyes. "Can you call Abigail for me and give her a heads up? She's…we've had a rough night. I may need her help with this one. I'm not sure how much more I can deal with on my own tonight." Tears started to form in her eyes, unable to place a wall between herself and the pain she was feeling from Helena.
Claudia stood up, looking at the frozen form in the center of the organized mess. "Yeah, first thing. Anything you can share? I mean about the rest of the night. Things seemed pretty, uh…"
Annoyed and frustrated Myka spit at the girl, "Yes, Claudia, I know how things were when we left! I was kind of responsible for it. Some things and emotions trigger other things when you least expect it." Myka crossed her arms in front of them, defensively. Claudia backed away at the harshness of Myka's voice. Tired and already emotionally drained from the evening, Myka dropped her shoulders in defeat, sighing, and her tears close to breaking. "I'm sorry, Claud. We're tired. In more ways than you can possibly imagine and now we have to deal with something that's just way more than we need."
Quietly, Artie backed away from the two. Claudia placed a hand on Myka's shoulder. "It's okay. Just remember, I probably have a better idea about this stuff here than you think. Don't forget you're not alone. You've still got all of us. I'll go call Abigail." She gave Myka a hug before skipping off after Artie.
"I'm such an ass sometimes," Myka mumbled walking into the center of the organized mess. She sat next to Helena waiting for her to speak. After a quarter hour she finally broke the silence. "It's been rearranged. One of the books is missing." She stood up looking, finding the book sitting in the bottom of the crate. She picked it up, frowning. "Why The Time Machine?" she asked into the silence.
"I think she knew," Helena said in a dead voice.
"Huh? Who knew what?" Myka asked confused by the statement.
"Christina. Somehow she knew it wasn't really her Uncle's story."
Sitting back down next to Helena with the book, she thumbed through it slowly, skeptical and slightly confused. "Okay. What makes you say that?"
"I don't know. Just a feeling," Helena said emotionless. "I can't explain it. Perhaps she heard us arguing over it. We argued constantly over that book. He made such a big deal over it with her. He had no right," she continued bitterly. "She was MY daughter and there is no idea of his between those covers. He was the one that started reading it to her one weekend when I was away, leaving me no choice but to continue. He stole that from me as well. I made it quite clear to him on more than one occasion that she was too young and would have it read to her when she was able to understand why it was his name on the cover. Perhaps I am just a silly, old, selfish fool that wished her daughter knew the truth."
Wrapping an arm around her, Myka accepted the heavy weight of burden leaning against her. "I'm starting to not like this story so much anymore. We don't have to stay here," she said softly, looking up at the calming cloud. "I think this can wait if you want and the storm seems to be settling."
"No. We're here and there must be a reason for this. There's no point in crying over what never was and never will be. I just don't know what to do now that we are here. Why? What is the point of all of this? Everything is arranged differently. I don't see a pattern. It's not chronological or even alphabetical and why not that stupid book?" Abruptly, she crawled over the floor grabbing the other book. "Myka, this one's open." She stared at Myka confused, afraid to look at the open pages.
Discarding the disputed book to the side, waiting for her to let go, Myka carefully extracted the book from Helena's tight grasp. Myka hesitated. "Do you want me to?" The book was released and the weight settled again against her side. She hated this book now. Taking a deep breath she let it out slowly, reading the page. "The Mad Hatter." She glanced at the still body against her. "His riddle, 'Why is a raven like a writing desk?'."
Helena chuckled sadly. "She constantly pestered me for the answer. She struggled for hours to figure it out. The point is there is no answer. Did you know that? It wasn't until after much harassment that he made up an answer to that riddle. He never intended there to be one. After all, the Mad Hatter was mad, along with everyone else, at least according to the Cheshire Cat. It was all just nonsense. If I recall correctly, next comes 'Twinkle, twinkle little bat! How I wonder where you're at!'."
Setting the book down carefully, Myka pushed it away from her, watching it with distrust. "Yeah, not really my favorite story."
Helena laughed for real this time. "So I've been told. I do agree with Pete, though; you are one hell of a kisser. He was very sure to inform me of that detail, among others." She laughed again watching Myka's face transform into disgust. "Who did you think told me about that particular incident? And why, if I may ask, have I never had the pleasure of seeing you in that dress? I know you still have it. Perhaps we should consider playing Alice in Wonderland one day. I'm sure we can find our own land of wonders if we tried hard enough." She burst out into a full belly laugh watching Myka's face turn different shades of red.
"That wasn't really me!" Myka protested. "Why would he tell you those…things?"
"I don't actually recall the specifics, but I think you pissed him off and I'd been caught staring at your lovely backside too long with a silly grin on my face. In short, I'd say childish revenge. I did, however, file it away in the back of my head for future reference." She chuckled a little longer. "I am sorry, darling. Unfortunately, it was Christina's favorite at one time. I never quite understood her attraction to it myself. That book is why I have that scar on the top of my foot," she said disgruntled.
"Her rampage and the tea?"
"Oh, yes. She was running through the house screaming 'Do cat's eat bats?'. We had just started reading it. No matter." She picked up the book, shutting it and returning it to its place.
"And the rest?"
"Quite obvious I'd think; her favorite toys, cradle, a worthless, essentially forged birth certificate. The doll I imagined her with when we were in Egypt. Not a fond memory there I'm sure for either of us. Noah's ark? I'm not entirely sure. I don't remember it being one she was overly fond of. Perhaps just a remnant. A gift from Caturanga, as was the horse. One of the few not from Charles or myself. Charles insisted she be baptized. Yet another reminder of my transgressions. He was right, though. I just wanted her to have as normal and happy a childhood as she could have. Despite that wish, I never thought of the warehouse as an alteration to that desire. What a fool I was."
"I don't think so," Myka whispered hugging her closer. "You gave her love. What else could a child need more of?"
Helena laughed bitterly, pulling out of Myka's arm. "Stability, consistency, protection…life."
Unsure of her next move after the physical withdrawal, Myka pulled her knees up, hugging her legs tightly. She rested her cheek on her knees watching Helena's profile. "Oh, Helena, can no one convince you that you gave her all of that?" She tentatively reached a hand out, stroking a damp cheek with the back of her hand. "You gave her your best and more. Am I wrong to think you challenged her and taught her to seek beyond the possible? To be the very best she could be? To be more than what the world expected her to be?"
Helena wiped the silent tears away from her face. She crawled in front of Myka, leaning back against her legs and further still when the legs wrapped around her body, arms enfolding her loosely. She closed her eyes and rested her head back against Myka's shoulder. She reached behind her, lightly touching the other side of Myka's face.
"If only she could be here now," she spoke softly into Myka's ear, releasing her face and smiled. "She would have loved you. You would most definitely have been a challenge for her. I admit I was a bit more indulgent than you'd have been. I fear my hands would have been very full managing the two of you. What a different life she would have had. Not one but two protectors. More love than I could have ever imagined for her. More family than she could have ever wanted." She chuckled lightly. "The darling child would have never had a chance to have any fun getting into trouble or else have too many allies in the pursuit of trouble. Why was I given another chance for happiness when hers was so brutally stolen from her?"
"There are no answers to questions like that, Helena. You of all people should know that. She was blessed with the time she had with you, as you were with hers. I know I am."
"I can feel you thinking," Myka said after a quiet interlude.
"This other child we continue to debate; is that left to the fates as well?"
"Honey, the way we'd go about to even try to have it? Yeah, I'd say it's definitely up to the fates. You know as well as I do the odds of it even happening no matter what we want."
"In that case, if it is to be, and I'm not saying it will be attempted, I'd very much want that child to know who its father is, as would I."
"I think I can understand that." Myka held her more tightly against her
Pulling her head away, Helena turned her head to find soft eyes watching her closely. "Do you? Do you honestly, Myka?"
"The best I can do is try to understand and respect your wish. It's not without its own set of complications, but certainly not beyond our powers."
"What have you not told me?" She bent her head looking curiously into the equally tired face next to hers.
"So far, in this discussion, probably a lot. Do you really want to talk about it here? In the middle of all this?" Myka spread her arms wide towards the fragments of the past. "Because, to be honest, I really don't want to talk about that here."
"No. You're right. I don't. Can we please go home now? My head is still pounding and I am so very tired."
Standing up, Myka helped her exhausted partner up, holding her up all the way to the office. Artie and Claudia were arguing when they entered. Silence dropped from the ceiling in a dead weight.
"Hey, Myka, HG…going home? We can't find anything from here. We're on our way out, aren't we, Artie?"
"What's going on?" Myka asked suspiciously. "You're still not very good at hiding things."
"Uh, nothing. What makes you think that?" Claudia shifted her feet.
"You are arguing again," Helena interjected, sitting heavily on the free chair. "Out with it. I am very tired and not leaving until you explain yourselves. Does it have to do with that mess?"
Claudia glared at Artie, looking between HG and Myka. "No. We got a ping and with Pete in Tokyo, he," she jabbed a finger in his shoulder, "wants to send HG out. I think it's a bad idea."
"No offense, Claud, but I think this is for the three of us to discuss," Myka said.
"No, it is not," Helena declared. "It is for Artie to decide and I agree," Helena nodded her head.
"What?" Claudia and Myka turned on her.
"Can it wait until tomorrow morning, Artie?" Helena asked through a yawn.
"Later actually. I need to get you out there. You'll go with Steve to New York City. It's an easy trip and it's just a quick artifact switch at MOMA if you're ready. If not, then Claudia can go. She could always use a lesson in the arts."
Claudia glared at him ready to retort with another snide comment.
"Alright then. That's settled. I go." She looked up into the concerned green eyes. "Myka, I need sleep and ask that you take me home. I need you right now, please."
"Helena, how can you even think of going out there like this? You're exhausted and this evening has been pretty much Hell," Myka ranted pacing the office now.
"That is exactly why I wish to do this." Helena reached a hand out, stopping Myka's pacing. Very calmly she looked deep into the worried green eyes, a firm grasp on her arm. Very calmly and with great deliberation that left no doubts in anyone's mind, she spoke directly to a place only they existed. "I need to get away from here and I need to do what I am meant to do. Please. I am asking for your support in this, Myka. However, if need be, I will go just the same and argue with you later when I get back. I will not do that now. Yes, I am tired, but I can sleep on the plane and Steve will do any driving. I need this emotional reprieve and I need to be a functioning part of this team outside of these walls. Do you not merely understand me but do you hear me as well? Feel me, Myka." Her eyes never left Myka's.
A slow, uneven breath left Myka's body as she held Helena's burning gaze. "Yes," she said simply, still holding their eyes together. "Everything here is okay?" she asked, her eyes still fixed on Helena's.
"As far as we can tell," Claudia grumbled, unhappily. "We'll keep monitoring."
Breaking eye contact Helena relaxed. "Good. Myka will pack it all up tomorrow, if that is acceptable, Artie? I see no need for it to remain strewn across the floor." Helena stood up, linking her arm with Myka's, leaning heavier on her arm than she showed.
Standing quietly and uncomfortably to the side, his hands jammed in his pockets, he looked up, startled. "Yeah. Fine. Meet Steve at breakfast. Everything is arranged. You leave here at nine. And, um, bring us back some bagels, will you?"
They remained silent on the short trip home through the starless night. Helena went straight to the refrigerator and poured a glass of milk, draining most of it in three, uncharacteristic gulps. Myka leaned back against the front door watching the woman wander aimlessly in the kitchen, pouring a second glass.
"Do you want me to warm that for you?" Myka asked quietly from the side of the table.
Nearly dropping the glass, Helena turned sharply, staring at her in the dim light from the base of the stairs, unable to compose any clear features in the shadows. She quickly squelched the instant panic of the unknown as her brain processed the voice. "No. This is fine," she said shakily. "I'm unsettled and still fighting this heinous headache."
Nodding her head slightly, Myka bit her lip. "Are you sure you're really up to this? Leaving tomorrow? I'd feel better if I heard an okay from Abigail, BUT," she stopped the impending argument, "it is your decision and I understand why you need to get back out there. You need a sense of normality. I get that." She laughed softly. "Funny, what we consider normal around here." She watched the person in front of her, almost unrecognizable with tension, finish the second glass of milk and set it in the dishwasher. She held out her hand waiting for the cold fingers to grasp her own. "We're going to need to buy a cow the way you're going through milk. Who knew? HG Wells, guzzling milk. Let's get you to bed, Champ."
Myka quickly undressed while Helena sat on the edge of the bed taking conscious, deep, even breaths. She came up behind her, pulling off the sweatshirt she'd dressed her in earlier and kissed the tops of her shoulders. "Hmm. I really gave you my Manchester United sweatshirt? If I'm not careful, I'll lose that one too. Jeans please," she softly reminded her, kneading the shoulders in front of her while the woman pulled off her remaining clothes. Pulling back the covers, Myka gently pushed her down on the bed. Two arms suddenly reached around her neck, pulling her into a deep kiss. Pushing herself up, she smiled down at the uncertain brown eyes. "I thought you were tired?"
"I am. I'm just…"
"I know. Close your eyes," Myka commanded softly, settling in beside her. She stroked the forehead above the unwilling eyes. Lowering her hand, she covered Helena's eyes. "Close your eyes." Satisfied, her hand followed the contours of Helena's face, tracing her lips, following her jaw line back to her ear. Eyes opened again. "What am I going to do with you?" she asked kissing each eye shut.
"I can think of at least ten things right now," Helena tried smiling through a yawn.
"I already have a plan." She feathered kisses across the tired face, ending again with each eye. Raising herself higher, she traced a path down the slender neck, down her sternum, returning to cross her collarbone. She frowned at the slight tension when she circled the slight rise of the plate under the skin. She traced it again lovingly, waiting for Helena to relax.
"Ordinarily I wouldn't recommend that," Helena whispered.
"It's called counter conditioning. One day this will never bother you again and it will be everything it was for you and more." Myka circled the area once more and left it with a warm kiss before lying down and pulling the smaller body against her. She kissed her forehead, stroking her head, feeling the twitching of relaxing muscles in the body against her and settling into the easy, calm breaths of sleep. "Sleep well, sweetie," she said before her hand stopped, fingers buried deep within the dark hair.
It had been a long time since she sat here staring at that crate; the letters 'Christina Wells' mocking her. Yet, in some ways it felt like she had never stopped. She rubbed her tired face, pulling the skin down as she looked up at the continually erratic cloud. She thought they'd made progress. It had quieted, stopped discharging into the surrounding areas and had even cleared some. Now it was dark again, erratic with explosive shocks.
They'd made so much progress. Communication and clarification were growing. They were reconnecting emotionally, mentally and physically. She blushed remembering their early morning. Despite the inerrant fatigue, Helena had woken nearly insatiable and demanding, but also painfully generous and indulgent, she equally so, following them into the kitchen, delaying Helena's departure with Steve. That freaky thing was back, stronger than before. Slowly a future together was formulating. Sure, it wasn't perfect. They could see the barriers and acknowledged the pieces of the walls, but they were working towards a goal. She unconsciously sought out her ring, surprising herself to find it naked. That had to change. What else had changed? The opening of the crate. That's what had changed. Was it just a case of three steps forward and one back?
Standing up with heavy feet she banged her head against the crate she'd just nailed closed. It always came back to this. She knew that first day she and Claudia found it. The skies had rumbled then.
"Packed up again I see?"
Myka nearly fell, saving herself with the same crate she had physically abused herself with.
"I'm really going to have to get used to that if I follow Artie into the deep, aren't I?" Myka laughed nervously.
"You and I both know what your answer is for Artie," Mrs. Frederic said pragmatically.
"Pardon me for saying this, but it's not that simple."
"Oh, but it is. Your decision has already been made. It's merely waiting for you to catch up and find the answer. She will follow you whatever you find. She knows what the answer is. She too waits for you to catch up. She's never loved anyone as much as she does you."
Laughing harshly, Myka patted the crate. "I wouldn't be too sure of that."
"That is a past that never will be, not a future that is meant to be. The love of a mother can never be compared to the love of a partner and lover. She was meant to love you both."
"Are you saying I'm jealous of her?" Myka asked surprised by her own question.
"Perhaps. The real question is whom are you jealous of? Christina or HG." She sat on the crate watching the wheels spin in Myka's head. "Neither would want the other to not have the best of what they could have. I don't think I need to tell you just how vehemently HG feels her emotions. She laughs as hard as she cries, and loves as ardently as she hates. That passion is one of the things that attracted you in the first place. You, however, have tempered it, perhaps just a bit. She is right about one thing, though," she mused.
"Helena?"
"Christina would have loved you." The older woman offered a rare smile. "It's yet another obstacle, but I don't think you need me to tell you that or you wouldn't be banging your head on that crate." She looked above at the dark cloud, standing. "I am sorry for all the distress this is causing, but it will sort out. Now, if you'll excuse me, Artie and I need to have a chat. And Myka, don't forget about Claudia. There are many points in this vast universe working in conjunction and it shall prove to be very strong."
"What points?" Myka almost yelled to the retreating back.
"I don't know the answer to that question. It's not my universe. It's yours."
"No wonder Claudia gets so frustrated," Myka banged her head back against the crate sliding down to the floor. Looking up at the approaching footsteps, she watched Claudia stop abruptly at the gate. "How did I know? I think you're safe, Claudia. You can come in."
"You sure? 'Cause there was no way I was getting in last night and things up top still don't look too friendly." She cautiously entered only getting a grumble above for her troubles. "That can't be good for your head."
"I take it Mrs. Frederic sent you?" she asked waiting for Claudia to settle down on the floor in front of her.
"Huh? Haven't seen her. Why? Was she just here?" She looked around expecting to find the woman lurking over her shoulder.
"Yeah, cryptic as ever. Hey, I'm sorry I was such a jerk last night. I shouldn't have taken it out on you."
"Yeah, well, you were pretty stressed, but thanks. Artie wants you to kind of lead the machine with Steve and HG. They landed. He said it's time for you to start getting your hands dirty."
Myka looked at her hands from packing the crate up and laughed, showing her palms to the woman across from her. "I'd say they're plenty dirty. I haven't even said yes, yet."
"Well, you know, he still wants a second in command kind of thing. So what did happen last night? It's okay if you can't say."
"Here or home?"
"Either or both. Kind of know what happened here. She knows something, doesn't she?"
"Who? Helena?"
Claudia nodded.
"I don't know, Claud. Part of me thinks yes and she's not saying and the other part thinks she's flying blind."
"And the freaky thing isn't telling you?"
"It doesn't work that way, Claud. I can't explain how it works. It just…"
"I know. It just is."
"I don't know that she knows something so much as she...senses something. It's weird. I've never felt this from her before so I can't really put it together. I'm beginning to get an idea of what Pete means when he says his vibe gets mixed up. Maybe we should ask him."
"And home?" Claudia prodded gently.
"Not for me to say. Sorry. That's crossing those boundaries we talked about." She smiled sympathetically, squeezing Claudia's hand quickly. She never thought she'd live in a place she shared with only one person before.
"Nightmares?"
"Not stopping are you?" She sighed. "Let's see. Sporadic since she opened this. I think she was talking to Christina in her sleep again last night. Funny, when she talks to her, we don't have the dream. I hear her beg 'not tonight'. She doesn't remember. Who knows, maybe I'm talking to her too and don't remember. It's kind of creepy." She wrinkled her nose.
"'The dream'. Still the same then?"
"They've never really ever been the same. It's more like the same thing from different perspectives. We haven't really compared notes lately. I think we're afraid to. We just muddle through the nights. For me, the most I remember is holding Christina against me and calling for Helena. She's stuck at the end of the aisle with her back to us, staring into the dark where the screaming is coming from. Sometimes she walks away, sometimes she runs to us, but falls off, like off of a cliff or something. And Christina's just crying. She actually yelled at me once. She said 'You promised-always'. Only time I ever really heard her speak to me. I don't get it. I don't hear the brotherhood. That's always been Helena. I figure that makes sense since she had direct dealings with them. It's not a nightmare for me anymore. It's just disturbing. Christina isn't a real person in my life. She's just a part of Helena that likes to play in my head. For Helena…it's a nightmare."
"The chess thing?"
"Gone since we found the queen." Myka smiled, envisioning the piece still standing guard in front of Christina's photo. "She's doing her job."
"So it really is connected to all of this…" Claudia pondered quietly.
Myka stood up, grabbing Claudia's arm, pulling her out of her thoughts. "Not thinking about it. Come on. Let's get back to Papa Bear before we get yelled at for not working." Walking through the gates, Myka turned to look back one more time and stopped short.
"What's wrong?" Claudia asked.
"I don't know. Nothing." Myka shook her head and looked again. "I thought…Never mind. You want to get a pizza later and watch a movie, maybe stay the night? Sort of have a sister thingy night?"
"Uh, yeah, sure. It's been a while since I've had you to myself. Afraid to be alone?" Claudia asked leading the way through the maze of aisles.
"No. Someone reminded me of something important. And yeah, maybe I don't really want to be alone. Maybe we can watch Batman Begins? Can't say I really know what happens."
Claudia shoved her to the side with her shoulder. "I so knew you two were not watching that movie. You two are impossible. Next time you get separate seats on opposite sides of the room."
"That reminds me, I need to change the sheets."
"Oh, dude, I so did not need to know that."
"It's not what you think. It's a matter of a lot of snot," Myka lied, remembering the kitchen too.
"The decision is yours," Artie said backing away.
"Why does it have to be mine?" Myka complained.
"Because you're getting your hands dirty and the only way you do that is by playing in the sandbox. This is the sandbox. You've played with the toys for years. I trust you. Talk it through with me if you want, but you make the decision." He looked back at the screen. "You two stay where you are. Myka will be back with you in a few minutes." He slammed the Farnsworth shut.
"You just cut my wife off!" Myka exclaimed.
"Just like I do everybody else! Right now she's not your…whatever. She's an agent. I told you you'd have to make the tough decisions and this isn't one of them or I'd be doing it. It's a straight forward job. Talk it through."
"Pete's on his way back from Tokyo...I can't believe you sent him there on his own. They've been up all night, but they're in New York…"
"Which is…"
"A stone's throw away from Philadelphia to an artifact we don't know that much about, Artie."
"So…"
"We have a lot of research to do while they're on their way to Philly. That leaves Pete, or me," she added quickly, "to follow on something new leaving you Claudia to go too or stay here with the techno mojo. So, Steve and Helena are going to Philly ASAP."
"YES! Now get them, fill them in and get them on their way. They're waiting for you. I'll start pulling files and you can wake Claudia up. Car rental will be faster. Oh, and Steve wants to know what's up with HG eating kimchi, peanut butter and bananas, Twinkies and guzzling a quart of OJ with a chocolate milk chaser on the way to the airport."
Blushing, Myka opened the Farnsworth as Artie dashed into the next room, smiling broadly, pulling out files.
"Artie," Myka peeked her head through the door, "Steve's getting a car, Claudia is on her way and I'm starting a big pot of coffee."
He pushed his glasses up, turning to her, smile gone. "Good, good. Don't make too much. She gets cranky if it sits too long, and I don't see you drinking it much anymore."
"Yeah, well, we'll see about that tonight." She hesitated at the door, frowning. "Hey, Artie, don't you think it's time we got some new recruits? Things seem more active and if Claudia and I are being kept here more…"
He looked up at her, surprised. "You think we need more help?" he asked sternly.
"Well, kind of. Even with Helena and me back it's been hard for us to keep up. I don't think I'm being a wimp by saying we're getting tired."
"I think you just passed your first test."
"What test?"
"The test you weren't having in which you have the same idea as Mrs. Frederic."
"Is that why she was here?"
"Partially. Now we just need to find them." He handed her a stack of files. "Here's your pile. Now stop talking and get working so we have something to work with. I'll take the first cup of that coffee too."
"I'm sorry, Steve. I just do not see the appeal to Philadelphia. I'm not required to like every place I'm sent to. And no, I don't find the Liberty Bell such an exciting attraction. I fail to see the reasoning behind its significance. It's a broken hunk of metal. Perhaps if you hadn't wasted all of that tea someone would have later known how to ring a bell without breaking it and had the skill to fix it properly! I still really have no idea why you felt it was necessary to drag me there. It was bloody cold there and I'm still not warm. I'm not convinced I still have toes."
"Oh, someone is cranky!" Pete turned around to see the two entering from the umbilicus. "Sounds like the British are coming and they need…"
"Yes, Mr. Lattimer? What exactly is it the British need?" Helena gave him a cold glare that made him shrink down in his chair.
"Tea?" He tried. "Um, she's down…" He started to point.
"Honestly, do you really think I don't know where she is?" she barked slamming the door behind her, trotting down the stairs.
"Okay, that's still kinda freaky. What's up with her? How long has she been like that?" Pete grimaced looking at Steve.
"Two artifacts to be tagged." He smiled painfully, placing the items heavily on the table. "Since we left Philadelphia bright and early this morning. Way over tired and in need of something none of us can provide. She kicks in her sleep." He sat heavily in a chair across from Pete, rubbing his shins.
"Whoa. You shared a bed? Seriously?"
"Wasn't the first time and unlike you, Pete, I've seen her naked." Steve waved his phone at him as a reminder of the photo she'd assigned to herself one day when she got bored.
"Well, I did kiss her first," he pouted.
"So old, Pete. That's just so old. And where did it get you, my man?" Steve smiled brightly. He sobered recalling the restless night and the anticipated nightmare. "She didn't sleep well. She just needs someone else, not necessarily something, so stop thinking it. I'm going home to eat and sleep until tomorrow. Where are Claud and Artie?"
"Vanessa is here and Claudia is probably waiting for you. I got desk duty."
"Pissed off Myka, huh?"
"Kind of." He threw his pen down still pouting.
Standing up, Steve slapped him on the back. "That didn't take long. See ya."
He heard their voices coming up the stairs a half hour later, turning at the loud bang outside the door. All he saw was Helena's back against the window and two hands sliding up her sides. He groaned and yelled at the door, "Hey, Pete still in the office!"
The two women froze. Myka peeked over Helena's shoulder before letting go, attempting to straighten her shirt. Trying to casually walk into the office, clearing her throat, shirt tail hanging out, HG walked in behind her, obviously buttoning the top of her shirt.
Pete shook his head. "Still cranky?" He smiled at HG when she looked up from the last button.
"Not that it is any of your concern, but very," she said coldly heading for the umbilicus waiting for Myka.
"Oh, yeah. Sensing a little tension there?" He goaded her, getting a scary glare back that made him shiver. "Right. I hate when you do that." He shivered again.
Grabbing her coat, Myka turned to him, still blushing, pointing to the two artifacts. "Don't forget to tag those before you leave and make sure your report is signed off and on Artie's desk. I'm going home to make dinner and relax."
"Just because Artie picked you doesn't mean you get to boss me around!" he complained signing his report and tossing it over to Artie's desk.
She leaned over his shoulder and whispered in his ear. "Not yet, but fixing a certain international misunderstanding with a certain flight attendant from Tokyo for you that Artie doesn't know about definitely does." She smiled patting his shoulder. "If something comes up, don't call us. The Farnsworth is staying here and our phones are off."
"Relax, my ass," he grumbled at the closing door. "Tension relief, maybe, and a lot of warming up a cold Brit. I hate desk duty."
Chapter Text
"Wow." Pete stopped short in the door. "I know you can be really anal about time and all, but even this is early for you. I would have thought you'd have an extended breakfast relieving some tension," he joked taking off his coat, hanging it next to Claudia's. She'd taken off earlier and was already working in the warehouse around Area HG setting up more cameras and whatever else she had up her sleeve.
"Why would you think that?" Myka, surrounded by files, looked up from her work with a forced smile.
"Well, you know, it just kind of seems like a Bering and Wells welcome home scenario, especially with a cranky HG on your hands," he said grinning. "Lots of tension there last night. Where is she anyway? She usually hangs out here with you when she comes home."
She stood up passing him on her way to the file cabinets behind him. "Don't make assumptions, Pete. You don't know what we do. Hopefully, she's still sleeping since I haven't heard from her." Pulling out some files, she slammed the drawer closed, hitting him in the stomach with half of them on her way back to the table. "Make yourself useful; this or inventory."
Pete frowned, barely catching the few files he started to lose. "Man, what did she do? Share her cranky pills? You're supposed to be all Happy Myka today," he said enthusiastically.
"I'm tired, Pete. Okay? I'm just tired," she pleaded weakly with him as he sat down. She held the side of her face in her palm forcing her eye shut and opened one of the files.
"Okay. It's just, I don't like Cranky Myka, 'cause then I get Scary Myka and she isn't much fun." He looked at her across the table uncertainly. "What's going on? You can talk to me you know. It's not a new thing for us. The way you left last night…"
"What about the way we left last night?" She leaned back in her chair crossing her arms, challenging him.
"Um, for starts you were steaming up the windows out there and neither of your shirts were tucked in, not to mention your…HG was still buttoning hers up and her belt was kind of hanging loose. Do I really need to say more? Not that you care, since discretion seems to have become a foreign word to you when it comes to your, uh, hormones when she came along. Something I have to admit we're kind of starting to miss. So yeah, I would have thought I'd get Glowing Myka not Cranky Myka. Unless…"
She narrowed her eyes, daring him to complete his thoughts. "Unless what, Pete?"
"Uh, nothing. Nothing at all. Just seem a little frustrated, that's all." His hand passed over his mouth as he attempted to concentrate on his file. "Incomplete pass."
"I did not just hear that." She shook her head biting her lip. A quick laugh of disgust escaped before she glared at him. She dropped her head down turning a page and mumbled under her breath. "It happens."
He scratched his head. "So we heard at breakfast one morning. Want to talk about it?"
"No! I don't want to talk about it! That's not the problem and I wouldn't talk to you about...that. And even if it were, it's none of your business."
"Yeah – just the whole breakfast table's, including your parents." He started to laugh, stopping with the look she gave him. "Then what is the problem?" he goaded resting his chin in his hand, leaning forward on his elbow.
"Grow up. There is no problem," she said getting more annoyed. "I'm just tired. Okay? I've been here since three," she mumbled at the file.
"Huh?" He straightened up slightly. "You're kidding me, right?"
Myka pointed at the stack of files on Artie's desk. "Since three. Helena had a nightmare," she muttered.
He sat up straight in his chair. "Why are you here then? Shouldn't you be there with her or something? In case it happens again?"
She looked up from her work, looking at him with blank, tired eyes, shaking her head and trying not to roll her eyes at him. "Really, Pete? After all this time you haven't figured it out? It doesn't work like that. Once she's awake and I get her back on the planet, it's a matter of getting her back to sleep and then she sleeps it off. I'm the security blanket until she lets go. Most of the time I end up wide awake for the rest of the night. I came over here this morning so I wouldn't wake her up. She's fine. She'll text me when she's up and if she needs me then I'll go back. That's how it's always been since she first got here - before Yellowstone even."
Pete stared at her in shock. "How did I not know this? So back then, you guys were, you know…"
"No! Stop it, Pete." She threw her pen at him that he barely caught in mid-air. Standing up she leaned across the table getting as close to his face as possible. "Sometimes you are beyond irritating," she spat. She walked back to the file cabinets pulling out more files, adding them to the stack between them. "You always slept through them. I was the first person she came to because she trusted me. Who else gave her reason to trust them? You sure as hell didn't. When she came back, Claudia became my back up and Steve sort of fell into it when she had her ankle fixed."
Not knowing what to say, he nodded his head when she sat back down. He took one of the files and started reading. Claudia occasionally came back through quietly, looked between the two and promptly walked out. Once she stopped to work at the computer before going back into the depths of the warehouse. The ticking of the clock was getting on his nerves in the awkward silence. Myka's phone vibrated on the table. He watched her frown at it, send a response and toss it back on the table. He continued to watch her across the table, tapping his pencil on his chin.
She lifted her eyes over the files strewn across the table. "What, Pete?" she asked annoyed.
"Oh, nothing. Just, you know, everything okay? You know, back home?"
"Everything's fine." She lowered her eyes back to the file, ignoring his continued attention. "If you really need to know; she just woke up, is tired, no surprise there, and not coming over. Am I coming home for lunch, she's spending the day reading and wants to have a family dinner and a game of Trivial Pursuit at our place since everyone is actually home. No warehouse talk allowed. Happy?"
"Ooooh." He sat up excited. "What's she making?"
"Didn't say," she mumbled into the file. "If she's as tired as I expect she is, she'll probably just throw some pasta and stuff together with lots of garlic bread for you."
"Awww, she does like me." He smiled.
"Yes, Pete, she does. I'd even go as far as saying she loves you. She may even make chocolate chip cookies."
Throwing the file in Artie's pile she pulled out a few from the bottom of her own. Pete sat staring blankly at the table, bouncing his knees. A few minutes later he started drumming his fingers on the table.
She looked up at him. "Pete, if you can't do this then go help Claudia. I'm sure she'd appreciate your help."
He slid his body halfway across the table watching her. "Not that it's really any of my business," Pete started hesitantly, pushing a piece of paper around the table with the eraser end of his pencil, "but you know they shared a room in Philly, right? Like, not just a room, but like a bed?"
Myka glared at him over the papers she was reading. "You're right, Pete. It isn't any of your business and it's not your place to tell me either."
"No, I wasn't trying to be a jerk and imply, 'cause Steve…"
She leaned back in her chair dropping the papers. "Then why are you even telling me? I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt on this. No, it's none of your business, but yes, I know. She called me before they checked into a room and we talked about it. The three of us talked it over once a long time ago. They've done it before. The fact that Steve is gay makes it a little easier, but even if he wasn't, the bottom line is I trust her and I trust him. She always calls me even though she knows she doesn't need to. I've never said no and probably never will." She picked up the papers again, shuffling through them, deeming the conversation over.
"So, you're okay with it?" He asked astonished. "This isn't Claudia we're talking about."
She stared at him for a long moment, watching him fidget in the hard wood chair. "Pete, she's having nightmares. He and Claudia are the only other people that have dealt with them and the only other people she'll allow near her. It was supposed to be a short trip to NY and I sent them to Philly, changing it into an overnight. So when it ended up turning into one, yeah, I actually really wanted Steve to be there with her. If she isn't comfortable being alone, there's a good reason. They don't do it to save money or for shits and giggles. Really. It's fine. It's not all that different from the night I spent with you that first night I got back." She stood up getting another file out of a nearby stack, ending the conversation.
He slouched in his chair watching her, his paper and pencil forgotten. "What if it had been me?"
"You what?" she asked still annoyed, sitting down without looking at him.
"You know. What if she had been with me and not Steve?"
She froze at the table not looking up. "First of all, she wouldn't consider staying in the same room with you let alone share a bed. Second," she stared at the table then shook her head. "Yeah, it just wouldn't happen."
"So you don't trust me." He started to sulk sliding further down the back of the chair.
"I didn't say that!" She could see the hurt on his face. "Look, Pete, I do trust you. I trust you with her life every day. I know I can trust you to not make a move on my wi…Helena. She'd pin you down in thirty seconds anyway. It's not a matter of trust, Pete. Hypothetically, IF the need arose, she would still call me. You and I would have a very tense and awkward conversation, the three of us would talk about it, and we'd all come to an agreement."
She looked away from the hurt expression on his face. She didn't want to have this conversation, but saw no way of avoiding it now. "When it comes to her nightmares it's a matter of her comfort level. Face it, you two don't exactly have a great history. I still play referee sometimes no matter how much garlic bread and cookies she makes for you. She's not comfortable with you, or much of anyone for that matter, in that kind of situation and her waking up in that state with you there…it would probably make it worse. I don't know how she would react. It would really depend on which horror she was reliving, and honestly, she could potentially really hurt you."
"You're serious, aren't you?" he asked, starting to laugh.
"Very. She's already lethal. Add terror, disorientation, and panic to that…" She looked at him wondering how much she felt comfortable in sharing. She closed her eyes, gathering her thoughts. Looking back at him, she took a deep breath. "Pete, I've gotten my fair share of bruises. You all know that. You've all seen them. I've learned how to avoid them better, but even after managing her dreams as long as we have, it doesn't matter how well Vanessa thinks we manage, it's still a challenge. I know what happened in Philadelphia and I know why. I'll admit, I don't really like them spending the night together, but I can't argue over the alternative either. I will not belittle or deny her that little space they have with each other especially if it means she feels safer. She wouldn't do that to me and she doesn't interfere with us."
"And the whole nude beach thing? Don't tell me they haven't peeked." He grinned.
She snorted. "Oooh, I'm sure she has. More than once, knowing her. They've probably compared notes. But that's their thing and I'm certainly not going with her. It's not like we have a beach down the road and before you say it, yes, I know about that little clearing down in back and how you stumbled upon Steve's private time. He still laughs about it. And, I'm the first one to notice if she has tan lines or not. I'm not going to stand there and forbid her to do it. It's her."
Smirking, he got serious watching the consternation fall across her face. "Okay, so back to the real issue. How is that all going to work with her out in the field? She and I never work together? And really, what is wrong with you? You look like Wile E. Coyote when his Acme bull's-eye turns into a hole on him."
"Nothing," she said absently playing with her hands, frowning. "I think I'm starting to figure it out. It's my issue. And, no, I don't know how it's going to work out there except that it's not like she's really ever gone out with you alone. You two work horribly together. Why do you think I'm so anxious when she walks out that door right now? She is having a huge wave of nightmares. But staying behind isn't going to help her. It's just going to make things worse and she's going to figure it out. We can't treat her like it's a handicap."
Pete sat back watching her stare at the file, her notes long forgotten. He scratched the side of his face and looked off to the door heading into the warehouse making sure no one was ready to burst in. "Myka, just ask her."
She looked up at him, startled out of her reverie. "Huh?"
"Look, I don't know how these things work any better than you do. Just ask her. The tan line is gone. I don't know what happened and I'm not going to ask, but you've been fiddling with that finger a lot lately. Seems to me you kind of miss it and I don't mean in the pretty accessory way."
"It's not that simple."
"Maybe it is," he shrugged. "You have a way of complicating things."
"I can't just ask for it."
"Why not? You're the one that took it off. She's probably waiting for you to ask. I told you, something's not right. Something is still really off."
"I was being stupid and irrational," she offered, fiddling with the naked finger.
"Duh." He caught the pen she threw at him, just catching it in time. "So now what? Too proud to suck it up and beg forgiveness?" He chuckled softly. "Maybe you should consider asking her to marry you while you're at it." He quickly ducked under the table anticipating the next projectile. He slowly started to peek over the edge.
"I'm not going to throw anything at you, Pete. Why would I do that? She's spent her entire existence avoiding it. You know how we feel."
"People change their minds. She spent her entire existence not falling in love either. Until you came along, that is. You want the ring back, right? Maybe you don't know how you feel."
Artie bumbled in whistling, stopping her next response. He stopped short at the pile on his desk. Looking at them and the files on the table, he looked again at his desk.
"Someone want to explain to me why it looks like elves snuck in during the middle of the night?"
Pete quickly stuck his arm straight out pointing his pencil at her. "She did it. It's her fault."
"Is this true, Myka?" he asked perplexed, catching his glasses sliding off his nose. "How long have you been here?"
"Since three," Pete quickly supplied.
"Pete," Artie grabbed a sheet of paper off the desk handing it to him.
"Aww, man. Inventory?" he complained. He looked at Myka on his way to the door, grumbling, "Overachiever."
Spinning his chair around, Artie sat down watching Myka's concerted efforts in ignoring his gaze. "Three o'clock. Everything okay?"
Not looking at him, Myka pulled off another file. "Yeah. Yeah, everything's fine," she said casually. "You know, just status quo for our house." She forced a smile for him.
"Uh-huh." Artie nodded his head. "What exactly did happen in Philadelphia? I have a feeling neither report is going to mention it and I only have a receipt for one room. What happened, Myka?"
"I don't know that it's for me to say." She headed into the other room, looking for nothing in particular.
"If it's going to affect the job, I need to know. These are the things you are going to need to deal with. It's why I want you to start playing in the sandbox before you make your decision."
"Fine." She leaned against the door frame resting her head against it. Crossing her arms she looked at the ceiling. "They got trapped in a room. A very dark room. She started to panic. Steve was able to talk her out of it, or rather insistently whispered her out of it. She had a nightmare that night. An old one; the cabin, the debronzing, or both." She shrugged again. "Sometimes it's hard for her to differentiate." She glanced down at her toes, scuffing the floor. "This is what the Regents are worried about, isn't it? With her that is, and my involvement in…directing her, isn't it?"
He nodded. "Yes, to both." He sighed. "She's going to be fine, Myka. I have no doubt she can do this and she will. It's just going to be a little shaky at first, especially with what's going on down in the dungeon." He pointed to the warehouse. "I know she went to see Abigail this morning. She came over to share breakfast. That's a big step. She's doing what she needs to do and that's the important part."
"She doesn't want any of this," she spread her arms around the office and turned around in a circle, "coming home. But I don't want to keep secrets. We've been forced to do that too much already and I won't do it anymore. I already feel guilty telling you about the panic attack and the nightmare."
"Ah. That's going to be nearly impossible, especially in this place. Personal and warehouse always mingles. You both know that. You do your best to minimize it and be honest. Tell her you told me. She might not like it, but I also want her to learn that she needs to tell me if it's an issue and you aren't keeping a secret. You know, there are going to be things you can't share with her if you do this. That's one of the reasons why the Regents chose you; your discretion. You two will need to find a way to deal with those things. Don't think I'm not having similar issues. We've just been doing it longer than you. I think by keeping separate she may also be looking more at you being in control here. Fight your independence a little and let her have more control at home."
Myka tried to hide a smile.
"That's not what I meant and I don't want to know! I need to separate you and Pete. She certainly isn't…oh, never mind. Go home. You're tired and I think you've put in enough time." He looked at the pile on his desk, groaning. He turned back at her as she put her coat on. "Everything else alright?"
Myka shrugged. "As alright as they always are. It's all relative. See you tonight."
Artie groaned at the pile on his desk again, picking up the first file. "She's going to start making me look bad. Complications…"
Hesitating in the doorway, Myka glanced at the bundle buried under a blanket on the sofa, a book perched up on her chest. A glass of wine sat on the coffee table. "I'm home."
"Yes, I know." The book didn't move as she turned a page. "Darling, please stop staring at me and shut that door. I don't care what your damn groundhog said, it's still beastly cold. I'm still unclear what an overgrown rodent's shadow has to do with the coming of spring."
"So I'm not allowed to stare at you?" Myka asked looking over her shoulder as she hung her coat up.
"I am more than happy to have you stare at me, just not with the door open when it's not 80 degrees."
Picking up the glass of wine sitting on the table, she took a few sips, smiling. "Mmm. I like that one. Got room for me?" Myka asked. Not waiting for an answer, she pushed Helena forward, squirming in behind her. "What are you reading so intently that I don't get a kiss?" She tried to grab the book finding it held out of her reach.
"Nothing." Still holding the book out of reach Helena turned with a brief kiss.
"Nothing. Did I mention my hands are very cold and your shirt is exposing a certain amount of skin now that I've made myself your personal back rest?" With a deep sigh of defeat, Helena reluctantly handed it to her. Myka snickered slightly. "Notice I'm really trying not to laugh. Trying really hard. Can I get a picture of this? After all of your grief and unwarranted criticism without even reading the first chapter, you are actually reading Harry Potter."
"So it seems. I retract all personal criticisms and unjustified opinions I have made in the past and sincerely apologize. Now hush, I'm almost finished. Then we can start the second book together. I've missed that nightly ritual of ours. Although, I admit I may find it difficult to stop at only one chapter."
Myka looked over her shoulder noting the chapter, a smug smile creeping across her face. "Really? Do I get that in writing?" She reached over for the wine, pushing Helena forward.
"Hey. How am I supposed to finish this with all that shifting about back there? And I'd best be getting a few more sips of that wine before you drain the glass." The glass appeared before her. "Mmm. You're right. This is a keeper. You can hold the glass too." She let go of the glass settling back against Myka.
"If you plan on finishing that book, it would be a good idea if you didn't move around like that," Myka swallowed. "Especially after last night's faux pas."
"Simmering a bit are we? I was wondering what that was poking me in my back. Hey!" Helena squeaked in surprise as Myka nudged her forward. "Stop. I'm trying to read. I am sorry about last night. It's not as if it has never happened before to either one of us. It's not all my fault. You weren't exactly relaxed to begin with. My technique is far from being at fault." She settled back turning a page and pulled the blanket back over them. "I want to learn transfiguration. I'll need a wand first."
"The last thing you need is a magic wand. As for last night, you were tired and cranky. I don't even know why we tried."
"Warehouse, darling. YOU started it."
"I know that…you just failed on following through."
"Do we really need to discuss this?" She slammed the book on her knees. "I'm sorry you…Now wait." She turned around, eyes narrowing. "Why is it MY fault if you're the one that…lost it?"
"You're right. Let's not talk about this. Let's just say we have unfinished business. So, transfiguration? I want an owl."
A smirk tugged at the corner of Helena's lips before she turned back around to her book. "Nice segue, darling. Now may I please be left to finish this book?"
"Sure. Please, go on reading the book you swore you would never read because you couldn't understand what I found so appealing without even reading the first chapter." Myka finished the wine sliding further down into the sofa. She burrowed her nose behind Helena's ear inhaling deeply, relaxing into the familiarity of the smell. She settled into the quiet of the room, listening to the flip of the pages and the occasional sigh dozing off until Helena sneezed and readjusted herself.
"Hmmm." Myka smiled against her neck, wrapping herself protectively around the smaller frame leaning against her.
"What is spinning around that ever so complicated and highly structured brain of yours?" Helena asked nonchalantly, looking up from her book, bending her head to focus on the grinning face.
"You don't know?" Myka asked, gasping mock surprise. She adjusted herself more comfortably, pushing back into the sofa on her side.
"Not perpetually, for which I am quite thankful," she said casually, going back to her book. "What would be the fun in that? In truth I soon fear I'll need to learn how to block you out," she added half-joking, turning a page.
"You're kidding, right?" Myka asked curiously.
"I don't know. Ask me again in a week's time," she muttered turning a page. "Now, what was it you were thinking to induce your uttering that sound of wonderment and intrude upon the silence I was so enjoying in your arms while I read?"
"You can't just ask 'what were you thinking'."
Helena set her book down in her lap for a moment, thinking and shrugged. "I suppose I could, but it would not be entirely accurate. Besides, it is one of the things you love about me. So you can now put that amused expression on your face that you always have when I unconsciously fall into your present day vernacular." Reaching up behind her she lightly touched the side of Myka's face before turning her head with a faint smile and lightly kissing her. With soft eyes she looked into the laughing green, and continued, enunciating her words, "Whatcha thinking' bout?"
"How astute of you, Ms. Wells. I was just remembering the first time I did this; held you like this," Myka mused.
"Ah, yes." Helena smiled turning her attention back to the book. "I had the flu. How could I ever forget that most memorable experience? One I hope to never repeat, despite its favorable outcome. It certainly took you long enough to finally crawl in behind me. However, I do admit at first, in my feverish state, I wasn't entirely certain you were real."
Myka laughed heartily, almost dislodging Helena off the sofa. She hugged her closer. "And then a week later Vanessa had to kick you out of my room when I got sick. You were barely healthy yet and she was far from happy you were not resting enough. Oh, how you frustrated her. How did you finally win that battle anyway?"
Giving up, Helena shut the book with a loud smack and deliberately dropped it on the table. "Ah, yes. I said, in no uncertain terms of course, that I'd regain my strength much faster if I was comfortable and not being constantly shuffled out of your room and would rest better beside you than fretting awake in my own room and if she didn't leave me be I'd declare war against her. Then, I simply reminded her that it was all her fault and if she wasn't careful I would tell Artie she threw us together in the first place, thus causing him a great deal of grief no matter how often he played with his meridians. I then proceeded to ask her if she would rather have me as an ally or as an enemy and the choice was hers."
"You didn't?" She threw her head back laughing.
She turned around in Myka's arms facing her. "I did." She smirked with a quick kiss. "It thoroughly exhausted me I'll have you know. She quickly conceded. I think she was tired of fighting me knowing it was doing more harm than good. It least if I was with you, she knew where I was and that I was more relaxed and resting. Honestly, I think she knew I wasn't bluffing and that it was indeed her not so subtle shove that accelerated the whole situation. She wanted to have time to warm Artie to the idea of having two agents under the same roof that were destined to be unable to resist each other and would soon be spending more nights together than alone in their own beds. I'm so glad we quickly decided to ignore Mrs. Frederic's orders. Funny how she never made a point of telling us she was aware of our activities despite her dictate."
"Unable to resist, huh? When is everyone supposed to be here for this family dinner of yours?"
Picking up Myka's arm, Helena looked at her watch. "I'd say two hours. Why?" She dropped the arm heavily on her stomach.
"Well, unless you really can resist, I was thinking I'd go upstairs for a nap. You do have some unfinished business if I remember correctly."
Turning around in her arms, Helena kissed the smiling lips. "According to you. I, however, have a book to finish and I find such business with you is often enhanced by making you wait."
"You're not serious, are you?"
"Oh, my dear, Myka. Yes I am. Blaming me for such unwelcome results." Her smile turned evil. "I know very well you have made use of such tactics in the past and will continue to do so. Fifty miles, love. Make good use of it." She turned around picking up her book, leaving a stunned Myka behind her.
"I think I'll go take a shower," Myka announced suddenly, extracting herself from her position.
"If you feel you must. Don't assume it will prevent me from touching you during dinner and accept that I plan to sit between your legs for the game. I prefer a slow simmer myself. And no warehouse talk tonight!" she yelled towards the ascending figure running up the stairs, chuckling to herself. "Oh, this will be a fun evening indeed," she said to the book's binding trying miserably to continue with her reading.
Knees going out from underneath her, Myka's hands released their tight grip on the end of the mattress. She felt cold metal follow the line of soft kisses up her back, ending with a wet, open-mouthed kiss and a flat tongue. Her body slowly relaxed as she closed her mouth against the harsh air she sucked in, soothing her dry throat. Slender hands slid down her arms grasping her hands, waiting for them to relax before moving off to her side. She opened her eyes, staring into smiling, dark eyes watching her from the pillow to the right of her. Helena rested her head on her hands curled underneath her cheek.
The eyes widened in surprise then closed against the full deep kiss Myka gave her, holding her head firmly at the base of her neck. Myka pulled back, brushing their noses together.
"I love you," she said earnestly, still holding the back of Helena's neck.
"So serious," Helena marveled. "I told you – a slow simmer."
"No." Myka slightly shook her head, pulling it back further to rest on her pillow, refocusing. "I love you."
Helena looked back at her, curious and uncertain at the mood Myka suddenly fell into. "Why so serious? I love you too."
"Marry me."
Helena startled, backing away slightly, bewildered. "What?"
"Marry me," Myka repeated reaching for the ring on the chain around Helena's neck. "I want it back. Marry me. I love you."
"Myka, we've talked about this. I thought we agreed. Marriage is an archaic form of constraint. It has no purpose. I don't need a piece of paper to know I love you. I know you love me." She reached for the hand holding the ring. "We don't need to get married for you to have this back. I thought you felt the same way."
Myka smiled, starting to stroke the length of her damp back. "There is no piece of paper here so that is irrelevant. People change. We've changed. Vanessa even commented on it tonight. Something is happening to us. Marry me."
"Does this have to do with their wedding announcement at dinner?" Helena asked relaxing into the fingers on her back.
"No. It has nothing to do with that. I've been thinking about it most of the day. That's why the dinner, isn't it?"
"In part. Vanessa wanted to take advantage of us all being together, but I'd already decided before she approached me this morning. But forget that. Why…"
"Helena, a lot has happened since we decided that and despite that decision we still exchanged rings. That in itself is a little contradictory, don't you think? We've changed. We've grown. That's what's supposed to happen. We can change our minds too. So, Helena, marry me."
Helena looked into the expectant green eyes, thoughts rumbling through her mind. She reached out, pushing back the fallen hair around Myka's face, caressing the side of her face.
"I'm sorry, Myka, but no." She felt the hand on her back stop on her shoulder. "I love you more than anything in this world and beyond, and I always will. I love you more than I can put into words. They don't exist. But, no." An unexpected tear dripped from her cheek landing on her pillow.
Myka rolled onto her back letting out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. "Wow. I wasn't expecting to feel like this. I don't know what I'm feeling. Actually, I don't know what I was expecting to feel." She considered what just happened trying to decide what words described the jumbled feeling in her stomach. "And the ring?" she quietly asked the ceiling.
"No. Not yet. I know I said it was for you to ask for, but it doesn't feel right. You've been ready for it for weeks, Myka. Honestly, I think you were ready for it the next day. I can feel it's not the right time. Please don't be cross with me." She set her hand flat below Myka's sternum. "Close your eyes and feel from here. You'll feel it too. Don't think. Feel."
Myka placed a hand on Helena's, closing her eyes. Their hands rose and fell with each deep breath. They lay there for a long time before Myka's eyes suddenly flew open, turning her head sharply toward Helena. Helena gave her a lopsided smile, looking deep into that spot they never try to explain. "I don't get it."
"You feel it." Helena sighed.
"What…" Myka looked at her, amazed by the indescribable force flowing through them.
"I don't know. You're right. Something is happening to us. I've felt it for a long time. I should have said something to you because I didn't know if you were feeling the difference too. Something is happening." She shook her head slightly, unable to comprehend what just happened. "I promise you with every cell in my body, you will get this ring back. And that mythical child of ours will not be born before this ring is where it belongs. Until we are us completely again, I can't share you." She pulled her hand away from underneath Myka's, watching her meditate for a long time, absorbing the churning emotions.
Breaking the silence, she settled back to her side. "I've spent my entire life avoiding marriage. I see no reason to change that to prove my love for you. I'm sorry, Myka."
Myka followed her, repeating the kiss that started the conversation, surprising and confusing Helena more. "Helena, you are the most precious thing in the world to me." She smiled remembering those words. "You love me. You were meant to. I'm sure if you think really hard you can't come up with a single reason why not to marry me. This isn't your former life any more. You get a whole new life and you are, in many ways, a new person."
"Please don't be angry with me," she begged.
Myka pushed her over and looked down at her. "Oddly enough, I'm not angry. I think I knew what your answer would be. I'm kind of disappointed and a little…sad. But, I'm not angry. I love you. I'll never love anyone else. I know you won't either." She paused. "Why is it on a chain now?"
Helena smiled shyly. "It's too big for my finger even with mine as a buffer. I didn't want anything to happen to it when we went to NY."
"It's, um, kind of a turn on when you drag it across my back." She leaned in kissing her again. "I think we should meet with Abigail."
"Because I won't marry you?" Helena started to push her away.
"No. Because something is happening and I don't think we can figure it out on our own. I want to know how we're feeling things like this. I've been feeling something from you entirely different from anything I have before. It confuses me. But right now," she kissed her lightly smiling, "I'm going to make love to you very slowly and gently until you pass out, and it involves a lot of kissing." She was held back by two strong arms in the center of her chest.
Helena smiled up at her. "Not too gentle. Just make sure I pass out on the right side of the bed. I really don't like this side."
Myka laughed. "I think we'll find a happy medium. Sweetie, I'll always make sure you end up where you're supposed to. I love you."
Myka pulled her calf out from underneath Helena's watching to see she didn't wake. Sitting up she felt a strong hand around her forearm as she started to get up from the bed.
"What's wrong? Where are you going?" She heard the words muttered into a pillow.
She leaned over whispering in her ear, "Nothing's wrong. I'm turning the bathroom light on."
"No. Lamps on." Helena lifted her head slightly waiting for her to lie back down.
"You sure?" Myka asked cautiously.
"Have to. Abigail." Myka wasn't sure if the woman was even awake when she settled back in bed. Helena squirmed over wrapping an arm around her middle and pressing her head against her neck.
Myka rested her cheek against the head still nestling into a comfortable position. "Philly?" she asked.
"Hmm," Helena uttered. "Working on it. Got you."
Myka stroked the arm relaxing its grip around her, mulling over this huge step, smiling. "Yeah, I've got you. Always will."
Chapter Text
"How nice of you to finally join us this morning, ladies." Artie forced a distorted smile, looking over his glasses at the slamming of the back door. He looked at his watch frowning. "We've only been waiting for, oh, half an hour - this time. It might be nice if you actually respected MY time for once."
"Sorry," Myka offered with an annoyed apology, pouring a cup of coffee watching it quickly leave her hand. "I thought you weren't drinking coffee anymore?" She glared at Helena.
She shrugged, taking a deep sip, closing her eyes with a happy sigh. "Mmm, but it's so good. After the last twelve hours you've left me with no alternative if I am to stay awake."
"We were having a little laundry issue." Myka forced her own smile at her boss and grabbed a piece of bacon from Pete's plate. "Someone didn't do it yesterday."
"Hey!" Pete slapped at her hand, missing the one grabbing another slice. "That's my breakfast. Get your own," he grumbled.
"It's not my fault. SOMEONE failed to inform me it required attention. I did make dinner." Helena lightly jabbed Myka's back, earning an eye roll in response.
"Considering most of the bacon ends up on your plate, I think you can spare a few slices, Pete." She poked him in the belly. "Definitely a few slices."
"She's got you there, Pete." Claudia smiled into her coffee cup. "I was wondering why HG was wearing your shirt. Anything else under there not yours, HG?"
"That is not for you to know." Helena fell into a chair, watching the coffee cup pulled from her hand. "Hey!"
"Get your own." Myka stole the banana muffin from Pete's plate.
"Seriously. This is my breakfast." He wrapped his arms around his plate. "You want to eat here, get here earlier."
"Laundry, Pete. Unlike you, I prefer mine clean," Myka reiterated. Helena grabbed the muffin off of her napkin. "Hey!"
Helena paused momentarily with an exaggerated sigh, muffin in hand, exasperated. "I planned on sharing," she said tersely, tearing the muffin in half and taking a bite. "When have I not shared with you?" she asked holding her half of the muffin out to Myka, expecting her to take a bite. "What?" she asked noting the hesitation and wrinkled nose.
"It's covered with your spit now."
The whole table turned their heads around staring at Myka. Pete snorted a laugh while Claudia's mouth hung open, Steve smirking beside her. Even Artie supplied an odd look.
The corner of Helena's mouth twitched as she looked pointedly at Myka, unable to blink. Dropping the unbitten half of the muffin on Myka's napkin, she leaned back in her chair, one arm hung over the back. Very calmly and softly, Helena spoke directly to the woman beside her in the dead silence of the kitchen. "Darling, I'm going to spare our family details that might otherwise embarrass us all, with the slight and possible exception of me, and of that even I am uncertain. I will remind you, however, that although the state of our laundry was in fact ultimately responsible for our tardiness this morning, it was indeed compounded by other earlier events. No doubt they have automatically assumed as much, whether it be true or not, which they have made very apparent by their present extreme interest in you. I myself am most gratified by said experience and regarding the unsaid specifics of those events I suggest you reconsider your opinion of my…spit. You may want to take time to analyze that one, love. Lunch is not all that far away." She calmly returned her attention to her muffin and took another sip of Myka's coffee, ignoring the crowd around the table.
"Shut up, Pete," Myka warned quickly, yanking the last slice of bacon off of his plate.
He smacked her hand again, moving his plate to the other side. "I didn't say anything and leave my breakfast alone. She seems to be very giving this morning." He pointed at Helena with a sly smile plastered on his face.
"Seriously, Mykes, who are you married to anyway, her or him?" Claudia laughed watching the bantering from across the table. "Uh, I mean NOT married," she added quickly. Myka stopped in mid-bite of the untainted muffin half. Helena's hand froze reaching for Myka's coffee mug, looking sharply up at Myka, meeting her tense eyes. "Something I said?" Claudia asked slowly looking between the two women.
Myka quickly shook her head adamantly, passing her coffee over to Helena's fixed hand, nudging it back into action. "Nope."
"If everyone is done discussing breakfast, laundry and…other episodes, can we please get down to business?" Artie barked. "We've got a lot going on." He tossed a file at Steve. "You and HG get on the road, because then you've got this one." He tossed another file at them. "Try to keep from traveling too far. I don't want to buy plane tickets and they're close together, so you get the two for on deal. Keep it that way." He threw a file at Myka and Pete. "You two. France. Myka, keep him out of trouble."
"You're sending me out? Really?" Myka greedily grabbed the file.
"Yeah. You need a break and I don't plan on keeping you hostage. Now everyone go!" Artie threw his hands in the air standing up.
"Right now?" Myka asked from her chair after everyone filed out.
"Is there a problem?" he asked, eyeing HG waiting by the door. "For her, yes. Your flight is this afternoon."
"No. Not really." She glanced at the door behind her. "It can wait. Just…we…Abigail…"
"Oh," Artie looked between the two, flustered. "You sure? Everything okay with going out and all?"
"Yeah, it's just…" stammered Myka uncomfortably.
"Artie," Helena spoke up. "Respectfully, if Myka and I may coordinate a few days off?"
"Uh, yes, of course." He scratched the side of his head, visibly relaxing. "Sure, when everyone's back. I don't want you to miss your, uh, requirements."
"Thank you," Helena concluded the awkward moment, slightly pushing Myka towards the door. "Myka, I think I'll need your help in the quest for clean clothing."
"What's going on, Claud? Pete and I have to leave soon and I'm not done with the stupid laundry. We had to do some selective sorting. I think most of it was hers and mostly cleanish." Myka slammed into Artie's chair pushing off with both feet, the chair banging into Claudia's with a clunk. "Oof. Sorry. At least she's got clean underwear."
"Thanks for sharing that little tidbit of unnecessary information. I'm doing my internal happy dance for her. So happy for you both. It is her favorite shirt though, isn't it?" Claudia smiled, playfully pushing the chair away. "Yeah, I notice these things too. You'd be surprised what we all notice about you two. We just don't let you know." She smirked, hitting a few keys on the keyboard.
"Yeah, like what?" Myka asked pulling over to look at the screen.
"Eh, nothing much. Probably just stupid stuff you aren't even aware of like her favorite shirt she 'borrows' all the time and you've pretty much written off as hers now." She turned the screen a little towards Myka. "Artie didn't want me to say anything before she left and I certainly didn't want to."
"What the Hell?" Myka stood up sticking her face as close to the screen as she could.
"Yeah. Have you noticed it only happens when she's home?" Claudia headed to the door, Myka following close behind. "What do you want to do?"
"I don't have time for this, Claud," she said frustrated. "All I can do is take a quick look and pack it up. Is she telling you anything? The warehouse that is."
"I know what you mean and no. This one's all on you for the moment. HG said anything?"
"Not really." Myka stopped at the gate, jerking her arm out in front of Claudia, hitting her hard in the middle.
"Whoa…Soccer mom block!" Claudia gasped.
Myka gave her a strange look then pointed to the center. "Claudia, look. How is that happening?" She turned her head slowly towards Claudia, her eyes not leaving their focus until the last second to glance into the young woman's shocked face before returning to the organized mess. "Cradles don't rock by themselves."
"Except in the warehouse?" Claudia half-heartedly laughed. "I am not going in there."
Myka grabbed her arm, pulling her off her feet, dragging the surprised woman behind her.
"Oops, silly me. I'm wrong." Claudia kept her eyes closed. "I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not…"
"It's fine, Claudia. It stopped. Probably some electrical thing or something. I really don't want to know what's happening here." She picked up the worn book with an exaggerated sigh, reading the page. "Let's see what we're reading this time. 'Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.' Hmm. Is this actually supposed to mean something to me?" She looked up at Claudia slamming the book closed. "Underlined for our convenience," she commented sarcastically, slamming the book closed. "Come on, help me pack this up."
"And the christening gown is now in the cradle under the doll why?" Claudia carefully picked it up with her fingertips, holding it far away from her body. "I never saw HG as the christening sort of person. Are you going to tell her?"
"Yeah, when we're both back. Why wouldn't I?" She looked up from the toys she was collecting. "Hey, Claud, have you felt anything different about us or the warehouse or you know…"
"You mean your freak?"
"I don't know…anything?" They closed up the crate and sat on the one facing it.
"Well, something was definitely going on this morning between you three, but that ain't no warehouse thing. What was that all about anyway?"
"I don't know. Pete's being weird." Myka leaned back on her arms shaking her head, forehead furrowed.
"Kind of like when you came back the first time and had a play date with a certain Victorian in Ohio? And then when you and HG hooked up?" Claudia lifted her eyebrows. "I mean he was cool about it and all, but he wasn't dancing in the street. Doesn't matter how much they love each other in their own weird way, they're both going to be very protective of you and always will be. I think that sometimes that clashes, especially when Pete's not really sure where he belongs in that grey place between confidante and intruder."
"Then how come Steve is never an issue?"
"You really think that's true?" Claudia asked. "Ha. I don't think you're as comfortable with their, uh, unorthodox time together as you think you are, or at least as you used to be. You were more okay with it until you had her all to yourself in Atlanta. Not having to share yourselves changed you guys, a lot. We both know they've got that thing of theirs, but still, I think it's getting a little crowded. You need to tell her, Myka. I think she'll understand. And Pete?" Claudia chuckled shaking her head. "You're always going to be playing referee with them. He was the first to protect you here. You're partners and that's what you do. Now you've got a different kind of partner too, and once upon a time he was protecting you from her."
"Then why did he tell me to ask her to marry me?"
Claudia's eyes flew open. "Dude, you didn't. Ha-ha! Look at your face."
"She said no, Claud," Myka said bluntly, staring at the crate they'd just closed up.
"Ouch. Hey, I'm sorry, Myka." Claudia wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "As much as we joke about it, I never thought you'd ever do it."
"Something's different, Claud. Not in a bad way. There's something happening that I don't understand. We don't understand. That's why I asked if you sensed anything. It's like our thing is mutating."
"Well, the way I understand it, that's what relationships do. But what the hell do I know? As far as that thing of yours goes, I'm not sure if I'm sensing anything. From her, yeah, but I would expect that with all of this going on." She motioned towards the crate and the cloud above. "I don't have an answer, Mykes. You guys okay? You know, with the, um…"
"Rejection?" Myka asked, a wary smile crossing her face. "Yeah. Nothing's really changed. It's not like we ever planned on it anyway," she responded wistfully. "Very much and emphatically the opposite."
"Still…" Claudia hugged her close again. "You had to have asked for a reason and I don't think it was because of Pete."
Myka quickly stood up looking at her watch. "I'm not really sure how I feel, but I need to go to France. It's time to bond with my boy." She grinned shaking her head. "And I really want clean underwear."
A heavy sigh of relief blew through her lips as it always did when the reality of home washed over her. She leaned against the door frame, her shoulders dropping with fatigue. A slight smile crossed her face and she rested her head against the hard wood watching the light from the lamp cross the still body lying in the middle of the bed.
"You know you can't fool me. I know you're awake. Have you slept at all?" Helena crept into the bedroom stopping at the corner of the bed leaving her clothes in a heap where she stood. Crawling under the covers held back for her, she rested her head back against the shoulder waiting for her.
"Do you?" Myka answered gently turning on her side to face her tired partner, laying a hand on the flat plane of her chest.
Closing her eyes in the comfort of home, Helena sighed again, absorbing the warmth from the body she would allow to be sucked into if it were physically possible. It had been the fourth trip out in a row and she was tired. She wasn't even sure this last time if the clothes in her bag had been clean or were waiting to be pulled out for the wash when she grabbed it on her way out the door.
She rolled her head deeper into the crook of Myka's arm, staring into warm welcoming eyes. "You already know the answer to that question. Not well. I am so tired. Oswego is a very cold and desolate place this time of year. It's difficult to imagine it warm and sunny. How was France? Quite the long adventure you two had."
"Interesting. It was good for Pete and me. You and Claudia have been busy. Artie gave us a week off complaining about complications all the time, of course. He's not enjoying the need to actually plan for us to be home at the same time for more than 24 hours again."
She jerked her head back, focusing on Myka's face "A week? Very generous of him. I'm not sure we'll know what to do with each other for a week." Resting her head back, she released yet another deep breath and stared at the ceiling examining the shadows as she often found herself doing when in a contemplative mood. "There is something in that lighthouse. I can sense it. I have no doubt in my mind it is haunted. The question is, by whom. I feel more than one presence there. I would expect Lieutenant Wilson would carry a great deal of guilt at the loss of his men. He shouldn't carry the weight of that blame. He needs to forgive himself. We agree to never live there."
"Okay, I agree. You can tell me all about Lieutenant Wilson later, but you forgot house rule number one." Myka slowly smiled, waiting. A cold arm wrapped itself around her neck pulling her down for that first kiss home. Gentle at first, it quickly heated until Helena pushed her away, breathing heavily. Myka retreated to her own side, equally aroused. Her left hand was firmly pulled to rest on Helena's breast, held firmly in place. "I thought you were tired?" Myka asked, resting her head against Helena's shoulder, placing a soft kiss on it.
"I was. Honestly, Myka, I fear my side of the sheets indicate otherwise since I made that claim. I was more than anxious for you before I made it to the bedroom door," she chuckled nervously. "Please tell me you are not tired," she nearly begged spreading her legs further, swallowing a moan when she felt the results of her action slip to the sheets.
Her hand released, Myka slowly dragged it down Helena's warming skin to the source of movement. Her eyes widened at what she found. "Holy crap!"
"Such a romantic you can be at times like these," Helena gasped at the desired contact. "Why are you always so surprised? Have you never acknowledged the impressiveness of your own arousal?"
"That's not romance. That's lust," Myka murmured against the abandoned breast. She settled in the newly widened space, holding down the rising hips against her own. "And here I was thinking I would be left in agony with you falling asleep in my arms."
Pressing into Myka's mouth, Helena grunted, "Oh, do stop talking."
"No more late returns for either of us. They're killing me," Myka said, struggling to keep her eyes open, watching Helena place well determined kisses up her sternum, her hand riding the momentum across the shoulders above her. "We have reports to finish before our reprieve tomorrow, which is getting closer with each minute you spend doing exactly that." Helena fell to her side groaning as she settled in closely to Myka's side.
"I know," she mumbled into Myka's shoulder. "I was tired before I opened the front door. Really the only difference between late returns and early returns is the actual amount of energy we consume. I don't really see that we get anymore sleep. If anything, we get less sleep and expend more energy on early returns because you drag me up here sooner."
"Me?! Oh, I will so not take full responsibility for that. At least I drag you up here. You prefer to start at the front door."
"Not true. You've left my clothes downstairs more often than you think. I recall numerous times you didn't bother with the clothes at all," she teased giggling.
"Fine. I'm too tired to argue and I don't think I can move. My God, what is wrong with us? At least I know you won't wake me up in the morning considering it's been morning for awhile now."
"I have no complaints. I was rather looking forward to lunch…Coffee. The solution will be coffee."
"I thought you quit."
"Today I shall make an exception if we meet here promptly at noon for lunch. You'll be making the coffee as you still won't let me near it."
"That's because I like my coffee maker more than I do you," she giggled. "Hey! No pinching!"
"Take heed. More comments of that variety and you'll find yourself lunching alone instead of enjoying a nap with me."
"And do you plan on actually sleeping?"
"Eventually."
"Myka said I'd find you in here. Will I be able to come in or should we wait for Myka and go somewhere else?"
Helena turned her head from the crate slowly. She looked up at the simmering ceiling. There seemed to be no response from the unknown intruder. The uncommon silence was unnerving, even to her. It wasn't natural. There were no echoes, even at the sound of the hammer dropping. Sound was being absorbed.
"I really have no idea. We won't know if you don't try. I suspect you would be the least threatening person to this space and will be allowed access as Pete and Artie are most often seen as the biggest threat and they make it through without great harm if either Myka or I are present. It is your choice." She gave Abigail a meager smile. "I would think any sign of fear may alter the perception though."
Uneventfully, Abigail came to sit beside her. "Success! I guess the big scary cloud isn't so scary. Myka should be here soon."
"I'll know when she's on her way." Helena continued her contemplation of the crate before her.
"I get the idea all that freaky stuff is troubling you two."
Helena turned her face up again watching the swirling cloud, deep in thought. "Have you noticed it's nearly sound proof? All sound is absorbed. Very strange, indeed," she mused, bringing her attention back to the woman beside her. "I believe Myka is more troubled by not being able to understand. The metaphysical confuses me and I gave into it long ago. She is correct that it has changed. I expect it should do that throughout our time together. However it has never had such strength before and grows daily. That in itself is disconcerting."
"Your, uh, freak?"
Helena laughed. "Yes. I suppose that's the best terminology anyone is willing to agree upon for whatever this phenomenon is." She nodded her head towards the other crate. "That crate should not be here, yet it is. It's involved. There are too many coincidences occurring for it not to be." She lifted her head and smiled at Abigail. "Ah, Myka will be here soon." She continued to smile watching the gate. "Yes, I am sure. Something else within me is changing that isn't part of the freak that is not happening to Myka. I'm sensing things far beyond her."
"Have you told her?"
"I haven't had time. I attempted last night, but alas, it was soon forgotten." She grinned at Abigail's shaking head. "We've seen very little of each other. We've tried to meet with you sooner. I'm not sure exactly how to describe it and may need more time with that on my own before I broach the topic."
"I can understand that, but she might be able to help."
"That's true, but not quite yet. Hello, sweetheart." Helena smiled and waved at Myka.
"Phew. Finally free for a whole week." She dropped down to the floor.
"That actually happens? Together?" Abigail asked, surprised.
"Only when you live with HG Wells and there is a storm over her stuff."
"OUR belongings," Helena retorted. "I reminded Artie we haven't had any concurrent time in some time and made a request. He is once again forced to take in consideration our needs as a couple. Rather awkward I'm afraid. The length of time has more to do with his generosity I believe."
"I'm not asking. I'm just saying thank you and so long." Myka leaned back on her hands. "So, our little issue."
"Yeah. Just getting a little rundown on your freak." Abigail bent her head. "You know this whole thing is a little out of my realm. I'm not really sure how I can help but I'll give it a whirl. It seems more like Claudia's department, since the warehouse has always seemed to be part of the connection. Do you want her in on this?"
Helena looked down at Myka's concerned face, a silent question reaching beyond the silence.
"You're doing it, aren't you?" Abigail asked.
Myka sat back clearing her head to focus on the woman. "Um, yeah, I guess we are. No one has ever really noticed before and honestly we don't think about it."
"I think because this goes beyond your normal freak. You said something was happening to you; it was changing. Before you got here, Myka, Helena and I came to an agreement, and I think you'll probably agree. This connection is something that is going to continually grow and change between you two throughout your lives, and probably as individuals as well. Am I right?" Myka nodded in agreement. "So what you're feeling may just be that. It grew as you got closer to begin with, didn't it? Before it disappeared? So, why wouldn't it now? Maybe you just weren't aware of it as much because you didn't realize it was there or at least unable to acknowledge it for what it was. You've both admitted to me, looking back, it was always there on some level and grew."
The two women listened intently as Abigail tried to organize her thoughts. "Let me ask you, just now, when you were doing the freaky freaky, were you aware I was here?"
They looked at each other. Myka looked away and frowned, staring at the ground. Helena continued to look at her with a serene calmness before turning to Abigail. "I'm sorry. I don't know that I have an answer. I can't say that I did not know you were here, but I also can't say that I was aware you were here either." She turned to Myka. "The night upstairs with Artie and Claudia, Myka, we communicated on a deeper level than before yet we conversed with both Artie and Claudia as well. Do you ever recall a time that we connected and conversed with others in such a way? Was that any different than this?"
Myka shook her head not making eye contact. "I don't know. And I don't know if I knew you were here either, Abigail. Why do you ask?"
"Like I said, I really don't know what's going on. Just now though, it appeared as if you were concentrating on reaching each other on a…" She closed her eyes thinking. "On a deeper plane of consciousness? Do you do that a lot? Stare at each other to communicate? Honestly, the only reason I guessed is because you both actually kind of lost focus. This is going to be hard to explain. You looked at each other intently, but your expressions softened. I don't know that I would have noticed if I weren't in this situation, the so called professional status. I was consciously observing. I think what you're feeling change is you can actually kind of control a state in which you can reach deeper, on purpose than you ever have before, where as in general terms you both just have that freaky feeling thing you don't think about. As you say, it just is. This seems different. Why? Who knows."
"So we're controlling it?" Myka asked wide-eyed.
"Yes and no. I don't think that you consciously know you're doing it. It's not like you're trying to be psychic and look into someone's thoughts. It's just happening unconsciously but with purpose you don't realize. What I find interesting is that Helena is the one that's always accepted it as is and you, Myka, have a need to understand it. I'm with Helena on this one. Maybe it's just because I'm an outsider and have no concept of what this thing is. What prompted you to notice the change, if I may ask? Why did you want to talk to me?"
Linking her hands together on her lap, she smirked at Myka on the floor, watching her face turn red.
"Okay. That sort of answers the when," Abigail answered laughing. "That makes sense really. It's one of the times we feel closest to our partner and more connected. For you two and your freaky thing it must be exponential. But what exactly caused you to take notice that something was different?"
Taking sympathy on her partner, Helena spoke up. "Myka posed a multi-answer question to me of a private nature and will remain as such. Part of my answer was based on that extra sense that resides within both of us. I've sensed the change. It's something I've been aware of but was erroneously hesitant to discuss with her. Regardless, the answer lies within us both through that feeling. I had her close her eyes and, as you've commented, had her...'feel' the answer. After the initial shock for Myka, we agreed that was where the answer was."
"Interesting." Abigail sat intently watching and listening. "This is totally like complete research material, if I were inclined. And you, Helena, it doesn't seem to bother you as much as Myka. Correct?"
"It's not that IT bothers me," Myka said. "Maybe what bothers me is she knew way before me and she had to guide me through it. Why am I so far behind?"
"Sweetheart, you are not behind," Helena rushed in distressed, kneeling before her, grasping both of her arms. "There is no timeline. We're going to grow with this differently. How many times have you known something I have not? This particular situation," she reached for the ring around her neck, holding it tightly. "This has been one of the things I have struggled with since the day you took it off. I rarely have a day pass that it does not invade my thoughts. I still struggle with why it happened at all and pray that I'll meet your expectations. I would expect I'd feel something first. What amazes me is we have always been able to guide each other when the time comes. Admit Myka, you have always needed more empirical proof to this than I. I've worked with the warehouse longer than you and literally moved with it. I called it home while frozen in bronze. One learns to accept such things more easily when given that much time to think. It's not a race. You always end up finding that spot in there," she pointed at her chest, "for the answer and you always will once you open up to it. You can't tell me part of wanting our still mythical child does not sit in that spot. I can't feel it like you can. Our answer lies there together. We need to take the time to catch up."
"Tell me, Helena. Do you sense something here I don't? I always have this feeling you know more about what's going on in here than I do."
"Oh, Myka. I honestly don't know." She looked around them troubled, her eyes landing on Christina's crate. "There are times I feel something here. But like you, the empirical intrudes. I question if what I feel is nothing more than my mind's desire for there to be something more here than just my daughter's belongs in that crate. I want something to be here. I want her to be here, but I know she is gone. That is enough to make me question the validity of what I may or may not feel. It is also in part what holds me back from what you seem so certain and open to. There is something within myself that is altering and it is not happening to you. I don't believe it is intended to. I felt it again in Oswego. It is very discomforting. We both have our separate paths."
Abigail cleared her throat. "Um, do you still need me, because you seem to be doing a pretty good job on your own. I'm happy and willing to stay, but I also don't want to interfere with something you may want to keep to yourselves."
The two women looked up at her suddenly, confused. They'd both forgotten she was there. They looked at each other and laughed. Myka pushed Helena's shoulder lightly. "Want to tell her you rejected me in the nicest way possible, too? Of a private nature, my ass. At least the sex is awesome and seems never ending." Myka broke out in laughter at Helena's expression after realizing what she'd revealed.
Abigail's eyes flew open looking from one woman to the other, stunned. "Did you just say what I think you said? I thought…"
"Myka!" Helena exclaimed.
"Well, you just pretty much told her everything else already. Besides, Claudia knows."
"Oh, great. Now the whole world knows. Why does Claudia know? Never mind. At least it's not Pete. Please tell me Pete doesn't know."
"He doesn't know. She won't say anything and she doesn't need to. Right now you're doing a pretty good job of it all by yourself."
"Patient-doctor confidentiality," Abigail interrupted quickly. More out of curiosity than professionalism she knew, she continued, "So let me get this straight. Myka wants a kid and you don't. She wants her ring back and you proved to her not yet with your joint super powers and it sounds like she also asked you to marry her and you apparently said no. Oh, and your sex life is off the charts?" They sheepishly nodded. "And you both are okay with all of this? Really? Not that I'd complain about the sex either, but are we talking about the right things here folks?"
They quickly looked at each other before Myka spoke. "Being the one that is in the position of rejection…" She turned to Helena suddenly, pushing her shoulder and knocking her back towards the crate behind her into Abigail's knees. "You said no! How could you say no? Really? You actually said no? Why am I okay with that? How could you just say no? Who says no like that? Especially after…I mean, really? At least say 'can I have time to rethink this all.' Really? I can't believe you." Myka pushed the other shoulder knocking Helena completely on her butt.
Helena stared back in shock, unable to move despite the knee digging in her back. "Um, you seemed okay with it at the time? Myka, we've talked about this. We agreed before we moved out back."
"Still…" Myka slouched. "I know. You're right. Archaic ritual, blah, blah, blah. We've always agreed. People change you know," she whispered.
"Do I need to…" Abigail started, pulling her knee out of Helena's stiff back.
"No!" They both turned to her, glaring.
"Want me to leave?" she asked tentatively, wondering what she just inadvertently opened.
"Yes!"
"Okay." She stood up quickly. "I'll just…yeah." She pointed to the gate and rushed out.
"I said I was sorry," Helena lamely reminded her. "I still love you. I thought we agreed on the marriage issue. It makes no sense to me. It's an archaic ritual that proves absolutely nothing."
"It has nothing to do with proving anything," Myka said quietly. "I'm sorry. I guess I really don't know how I feel. Maybe you don't either."
Resting back against the crate, Helena scrutinized Myka for a long time. "Perhaps you're right and I don't know how I feel anymore. Like you said people change. May I take this proposal of yours into consideration?"
"What else am I going to say?" Myka laughed sadly. "It's all the same in the long run."
"You really want to get married?" Helena asked baffled.
"No, Helena. I don't WANT to get married." She crawled across the floor, wiping her dusty hands on her thighs before cupping the strained face in front of her. She kissed the stiff lips, feeling them relax beneath her own. "I love you. I want to marry YOU." She hugged Helena tightly against her. "I'm still okay with things for now as they are, especially the sex part. I'm REALLY okay with that part." She felt Helena laugh in her arms. "Tired, but really, really okay with the sex part."
"Does that mean we get to go home for lunch now?" Helena pushed her back slightly, gazing into gleaming, green, smiling eyes, obviously more concerned with going home.
"I thought you wanted to go through some of Christina's stuff together?" Myka asked seriously.
Helena stood up, pulling her up from the floor into her arms and a deep kiss. "That will not be going anywhere unless they start flying the next time they decide to spontaneously unpack themselves again and I won't be shocked at this point if they do. I had another thought."
"Sex?"
"You know me well enough to know the answer to that, darling." Helena took her hand on the way out through the gate. "Besides that, which is definitely in the forefront of my mind now, and I must say the visions of you coming to mind are very difficult to ignore at the moment, I was thinking of your teddy bear."
"My teddy bear?" Myka stopped, a strange expression spreading across on her face. "I really don't want to know what my teddy bear has to do with sex."
"It has absolutely nothing to do with sex." She grinned mischievously. "However, if you'd like and give me time, I'm sure to come up with something." Helena chuckled pulling Myka behind her.
"No. It's your daughter's. That is just wrong." Myka shook her head climbing the stairs behind Helena not letting go of her hand, smiling at the obvious growing strength in the once nonfunctional appendage.
"Yes. Somehow I don't think of it as hers anymore, but in this case it is an important detail."
Closing the door Helena spoke to the closed front door. "We need to call your parents."
"Oh no. That is not going to happen." Myka spun around facing her back.
She turned away from the door. "Please, stop and listen to me. I want to know how you ended up with Christina's bear. We can't discount it. It may be a piece of this puzzle." Helena stood before her, wrapping her arms around her neck, smiling up into Myka's protesting eyes.
"Helena…" she whined.
Helena leaned back slightly, arms still firmly grasped around Myka's neck. "Myka Ophelia Bering," she scolded. "You are acting like a petulant child. You are a beautiful and very intelligent grown woman and they are your parents. It was my understanding at Christmas, despite the awkwardness of it all, that you were, how did you all put it…changing old habits. Now call them or I will. It is my daughter's teddy bear, however, much of the world now views it as yours." She kissed her lightly letting go of her neck.
"They can't possibly know that." She stood back from the refrigerator, gazing into the bright light scanning the shelves, obviously unenthused with their choices. "What do you want for lunch and are we eating here or over at the house tonight? I think everyone is home right now."
Helena pulled her phone out of her back pocket when she wasn't looking. "I understand that, but you were very young when your aunt gave it to you. They may remember something of importance that you have no knowledge of, nor would they have reason to believe it was of any significance. Besides, your mother promised me her recipe for scalloped potatoes. I understand you like them." Helena handed Myka her already ringing phone.
"Is that where you're getting my favorite…" Myka jumped back in surprise at the sight of the phone thrust in front of her face, nearly dropping it. "Seriously?" She fumbled the object. "This is why you break your phones…Uh, yeah, hi, mom…No, everything is fine. No, I'm not accusing you of breaking anything…Mom, wait. I'm on Helena's phone, she sort of surprised me, that's all. Yes, she's here." Myka bent her head to the side, forcing a painful smile at Helena. "How do you have their phone number? I show you no mercy tonight," she hissed at the woman covering the phone with her hand.
"Promises, promises…A girl can only hope," she grinned, standing in front of the refrigerator as Myka had earlier. "Soup," she mumbled. She opened the freezer grabbing a frozen container of Artie's soup and spoke over her shoulder. "Myka put her on speaker phone."
"No, she's fine. Yeah. Can you hold on for a second? Helena wants to put you on speaker. Is that okay? Really?" She physically stepped back shocked staring at the object in her hand. Her eyes widened in surprise putting the phone down on the counter by Helena at the stove with the soup. Her mother never agreed to the speaker before. She stood behind Helena wrapping her arms around her waist and resting her chin on her shoulder watching her stir the melting soup.
"Hello, Jeannie. How are you?"
"Oh, Pumpkin, how good to hear your voice. It's been too long."
Myka jumped to the side sticking her shocked face in front of her, mouthing 'Pumpkin?' She leaned back against the counter glaring at her, one hand on her hip. Helena merely shrugged, stirring the soup, occasionally offering a spoonful to Myka for her to taste. Myka mouthed again more emphatically, 'Pumpkin!' when Helena turned her back.
"You've sounded busy. Now I have those recipes…"
"That's wonderful, Jeannie, but if you would e-mail them that would be much easier. I'm in the process of making Myka's lunch." She croaked out the last word when Myka kicked her leg. "OUR lunch, at the moment. Myka wanted to ask you about her teddy bear."
"What teddy bear? Not that horrid white thing I hope."
"No, Mom, the one Aunt Grace brought back for me," Myka rolled her eyes for the first of many times she was sure during this conversation.
"Warren! Myka wants to ask about that teddy bear Grace brought back that time from London." Myka started laughing quietly, getting out the bowls, listening to the conversation now happening on the other side. She froze at the next words she overheard, almost dropping the bowls. "Your father wants to know when you are coming out. He wants to show off the store to Helena you know. He needs to think about the bear. Said Grace was more weird than normal over it."
Helena bit her lip, casting a cautious glance over at Myka interrupting the opening mouth. "What if we came this week?" She quickly slithered away from the stove out of Myka's grasp calling from the other side. "We actually have the week off together. I'd love to see the store. Perhaps we can go through your secret recipe book as well."
Myka caught her quickly, covering her mouth with her hand, holding her in a tight grip.
"I'm not sure if we can…" Myka started, gasping in pain and released her hand from the hard bite and an elbow in the ribs.
"That sounds wonderful," Helena responded with a cocky smile in Myka's direction.
"When do you think you'll be here?"
"I'll make sure we're packed and on the road first thing tomorrow. Myka is looking forward to it. Anything you need us to bring?"
"Oh no, dear. I can't wait to finally see you two. Let me know when you leave so I can have dinner ready. I'll make meatloaf. Is that alright?"
"Sounds lovely, doesn't it, Myka?" she asked the glowering woman holding her stinging palm under cold water.
"Yeah. Sounds just great," she said unenthusiastically. "Can't wait, mom."
Helena took her phone, trying to quickly pocket it away when Myka spun around on her, causing her to drop it on the floor.
"What did you just do? And how often do you talk to my mother and why…Pumpkin? Really?"
"Obviously, more than you." Helena backed out of the kitchen with stealth, turning on her heel running up the stairs two at a time, Myka close behind.
Myka tackled her onto the bed starting to tickle her. Despite the ongoing protests between laughter and threats of loss of bladder control, Myka caught her chance at pulling off Helena's sock and grabbed her left foot.
"No! Don't you dare." Helena tried weakly to sit up to stop the attack. "No, no, no, not the ankle." She kicked hard missing Myka's jaw.
"I said I'd show no mercy." She attacked the inner part of her ankle causing a high piercing scream and an adrenaline surge fighting off the assault.
Helena managed to wrap her other leg around Myka's torso. Fighting the overwhelming sensations traveling through her body from her ankle she took a deep breath and put all her energy into flipping Myka over placing her full weight on top of her, panting and gaining control from the ceased tickling. She grabbed Myka's hands holding them down against the bed.
"You promised no mercy. That spot is forbidden and you know it," she panted her chest heaving against Myka's.
Myka gave an evil laugh. "Only when I can't get to it and you have to admit it is a weird spot." She tried to get her arms free. "As soon as I can get my arms back, no more mercy shall I show."
"I'll show you no mercy, and you will not be getting your arms back anytime soon," she still panted. Leaning forward she lightly bit Myka's lower lip, tugging it slightly and releasing it.
"Lunch?" Myka reminded her.
"That was rather my plan," she said with a diabolical grin spreading across her face.
"Then I'll need my arms back. I think lunch will be far more enjoyable for us both." Myka started laughing again watching the changing expressions as a plan developed in Helena's head. "The sooner I have my arms free, the faster we get rid of unwanted clothing."
"Right then. On the count of three." Helena let go before counting.
Chapter Text
Daring to take her eyes off the road for an amused glance at her passenger she said, "Are you going to sit there for the entire trip not talking to me? You've barely said a word since we left."
Turning her head away from the passenger side window, Myka pulled her sunglasses down and rested dark circled, tired eyes on her surprisingly energized and wide awake lover. She hated when sex revved her up like that leaving her tired and cranky.
"You got me up at four a.m. and on the road a half an hour after that basically handing me my coffee mug in my hand walking out the door. You were, um...yeah, you were horny after dinner and wouldn't leave my breasts alone. I had two orgasms just from that. I won't even comment on the other well developed talents that you're so proud of. We fell asleep around midnight, maybe, with you on my back again, so now that hurts. You're dragging me out to my parents for a spontaneous visit and you've somehow developed a very nice relationship with my mother without me knowing. I'm tired, sore and slightly annoyed right now. Can we pull over for coffee soon?" Annoyed, she jammed her sun glasses back up her nose. "How can you be so wide awake? God I hate when sex does this to you. You turn into an energizer bunny before my eyes."
"It's not my fault you're so responsive. I love your breasts. They are magnificent and I never once heard you complain. How was I supposed to say no?" She grinned proudly. "And if I may, I will remind you that it was your hand continually crawling up my thigh during dinner. I removed it four times before I resigned myself to merely giving up. Pete knew what you were doing, too, so be prepared to deal with him when you return. I don't think you want me to manage that situation. How could you possibly think we'd merely fall asleep after I endured a meal with your hand far higher, even by my standards, than is appropriate between my legs? You were essentially begging from my point of view. A regular Oliver Twist you were. More, please." Helena pulled off into a small parking lot coming to a full stop in front of the coffee shop. "You have only yourself to blame for the events of the evening. I can only assume I'm wide awake because I slept quite well for once and you do have a way of activating certain hormones that charge up my bunny batteries. I am sorry about your back, though. Not very fair to you. Why don't you just push me off. I'll adjust in my sleep." She leaned over kissing the pouting lips and continued smiling against them. "I do so enjoy such evenings with you. As far as those other talents for which you won't discuss at the moment, they are exceeded only by your own." She kissed her again.
Myka pushed her back slightly, trying not to laugh. "If you don't stop what you're doing, coffee or no coffee, we're going to get arrested. I really don't want to explain that one to Mrs. Frederic. The airplane incident was enough to make me a little more than aware of just how much that woman seems to know, and you still haven't told me why my mother calls you 'Pumpkin'. I'm getting a very large coffee so I can drive while you explain that one to me. If my hands are on the wheel I can't strangle you." They got out of the car. She quickly turned around, glaring at Helena who was now leaning against the car gazing over her own sunglasses with obvious appreciation. "Stop staring at my butt like that and get in the car."
"It is such a lovely sight, darling. It's a good thing your parents seem to be such sound sleepers."
Myka pointed a finger at her from the shop door. "Don't you even get that idea in your head." She heard the diabolical laughter behind her as she entered the building.
Twenty minutes later down the road, Helena had her head leaning back against the headrest with her eyes closed, enjoying Myka's warm hand against the back of her neck playing with her hair. Occasionally, blunt nails lightly raked across the soft, warm skin. The deceptively bright sun belied the cold temperature outside but warmed the car, lulling Helena into a malleable mood. Only the intermittent gusts of wind blowing dust across the road gave a hint to the cold behind it. Myka quickly glanced over at the relaxed face. "So, Pumpkin, want to tell me how you and my mother became such close friends without me knowing?"
"Ah, so that was your evil plan. Play with my hair and the back of my neck until I gave into fatigue or put me in a state of discomfort of what you seem so sure you will leave unattended to later. Is this a bribe or punishment for my apparent transgression?" Helena turned her head in Myka's hand, smiling softly, watching the shadows of the trees cross her face as she drove and kissed the tender skin of the inner side of her wrist. "It's been too long since we've had time like this together. I love you."
"Don't evade my question with sweet words." Myka laughed. Pulling her hand away she drained the rest of her cold coffee. "I love you, too, even if you did trick me into visiting my parents."
"I'm not evading. I'm sorry I never said anything. It fell far beyond my thoughts when you came home. I'm never certain how to approach your relationship with your parents. It was not intentional, Myka. You must believe that. It started very innocently and most awkwardly when I was home alone while you were out playing with Pete. She'd mentioned at Christmas that casserole you like so much. The one I made for you when you were driving around Texas for what seemed forever. I made it for you when you returned. Remember?"
"Yeah. I was so happy to be home and so surprised I never thought about where you got it from. I just assumed you were looking online for things to play with."
"Myka, when have I ever made a casserole? I said I loved you." She took Myka's hand across the console. "It was a rather awkward call. I don't think they'd quite gotten over the discovery of an unknown, female lover naked on your bedroom floor." They laughed. "We had an uncomfortable and very stilted conversation while she searched for the recipe. So, one recipe turned into another, which turned into another and yet another call and so on. Conversations became more comfortable and soon, I found myself calling her just to chat. I was lonely without you, and Claudia and Steve were not who I needed. Your mother is actually a very warm, charming and understanding woman. She starting calling to check on me when she knew you were gone. I discovered something I haven't had in a very long time and didn't know I missed; having a mother. Myka, I became one essentially without having one. My mother was not my mother after that fiasco. I never realized what an impact that had on me until your mother, a woman born long after I, unknowingly offered herself. You really should talk to her. She has so much to share with you and very much wants to."
"Hmmm," Myka offered a noncommittal answer, looking over her shoulder before pulling into the passing lane. "Why didn't you say anything?"
She rolled her head to the side watching Myka's blank face. Kicking her shoes off, she set her feet on the dashboard, warming her feet in the sun. She turned her attention to her toes, wiggling them. "I'm not sure why I didn't say anything. It wasn't important when you returned. We had far too many other things to deal with. Perhaps we've had so many issues to deal with I didn't want to drag what was bound to be yet another for you into your life unnecessarily, despite the benefit I received. Somehow saying, 'by the way, I spoke to your mother again while you were away and your father keeps asking when we're coming out to visit' was never the first thing that came to mmd when you walked through the door." She grunted at her feet. "I am sorry, Myka. My actions were not that much different than your own in not telling them about me. But, I knew at some point an opportunity like this would eventually present itself. You need to give them a chance, Myka. There is far more being offered than you allow yourself to see. They love you a great deal and you would be very surprised how alike you are. They honestly want to know their daughter and are struggling to do so. Give them a chance?"
"So you're what, the mediator or something for the lost family?" Myka glanced over with an ironic smile.
"If that is what is needed, yes. The fates may have mentioned a casserole to bring us all together. Besides, this mythical child you want needs loving grandparents. That is something I am unable to provide. "
"Is that another slip up of yours?" Myka mumbled under her breath.
"I'm sorry, a slip up?" Helena gave her an odd look.
"Nothing." Myka smiled sadly. "You've commented more than once about the 'mythical' child. It's as if it's in you, but you can't commit to it."
"Myka, that is far too complicated of an issue to simplify as a slip up. It's a child. We have yet to decide upon it's creation so do not make assumptions. It was merely an example of the importance I believe your parents have in your life."
Squeezing her hand Myka let out a slow, silent breath. "I know. I'll try. Not like I have a choice since we're more than halfway there." She glanced back over at Helena starting to laugh. "You and my mom are BFF's! You amaze me. The renegade HG Wells is trying to bring a family together. Are you up to driving for a bit? Then I can drive us in. No surprise, but I really need to pee now and I could use a quick walk. I really don't want mom and dad asking me why I'm walking funny and did I hurt my back. I might be forced to tell them exactly how I hurt my back."
"I'd be more than happy to tell them how, if you'd like, and in great detail." Helena looked up with a crooked smile on her face.
"That's what I'm afraid of. You did a pretty good job of that once before." Myka stopped the car and headed into the restroom. They walked in the cold, empty parking lot holding hands. "What happened to spring? You do know that my father is a Jules Verne fan, right?"
"Oh yes. He's made that quite clear. The whole name coincidence is always a guarantee for that conversation. We've agreed to disagree and I've assured him there is absolutely no family connection. He's convinced you preferred me to Jules to spite him. I, however, am quite grateful for your preference in more ways than one. It has made my second life much more enjoyable. I really should have changed my name in this century when I realized I was going to remain a supposed normal figure. Sarah Smith perhaps?"
Myka grimaced at the expression crossing the pale features then giggled, placing a quick kiss on the cold nose. "For what it's worth, I'm sort of attached to the name. You make a much better Helena than you do a Herbert. I'm sorry. Maybe someday they can know."
"Yes. Yet another great surprise for us to spring upon your parents. As if meeting naked on the floor on Christmas morning wasn't enough. I am so very happy they sleep soundly. If I'd known they were there I'd have taken the extra effort and dragged you home." She started the car. "Shall we?"
"You better tell me what else my mother knows so I don't have anymore surprises, 'Pumpkin'," Myka said following Helena's example and resting her feet on the dashboard.
"Really, darling. What would be the fun in that? I think a nap would be a much better use of your time. I don't expect you'll be sleeping much tonight if I have anything to say about it." Helena smiled as she looked over her shoulder pulling out into the road.
It was an uncomfortable reunion Myka started with her mother and seemed a very rushed affair. Helena called an hour ahead to give them an ETA so dinner was mostly ready for the table. She watched in amazement, smiling inwardly, at the ease in which Helena interacted with her parents reminding her how versatile her partner could be in changing environments and the unknown. She mentally shook herself. The woman would have never gotten this far in this century if she wasn't. She found herself relaxing as she observed the scene almost as a different person herself from the one that was last here.
They were quickly shuffled to the old bedroom she'd shared with her sister, surprised to find the changes made. The twin beds were gone and replaced with a queen size bed placed on the far wall away from her parent's room. She assumed it was a conscious decision on her parent's part in respect for their adult children and their partners. They'd barely had enough time to drop off their few belongings before Helena was helping her mother finish making their meal when her father arrived. He was obviously just as nervous, giving her an awkward hug before they sat down to a surprisingly comfortable dinner of conversation, often with a gentle touch from Helena leading to her nimble hand playing with the back of her neck.
Suddenly dropping her hand, Helena nearly fell out of her chair with a surprised gasp. "Myka!" She sat staring back at a curious face looking up at her, examining her closely.
"Verne, get down!" Warren stood up swatting the ginger cat away. "Where has he been, Jeannie? Sorry, HG. That cat never has a care in the world for anyone. Looks like you just made a friend." He chuckled, sitting back in his chair and then laughing at Helena's reactions.
Myka tried to hold back her snickering watching Helena stiffly stare back at the cat that jumped back into her lap, ignoring her father's demands. "Helena, it's just a cat."
"Myka, he's staring at me," she growled emphatically, never taking her eyes off of the creature.
"He's a cat. They do that." She drew her attention away from what she found to be an amusing situation asking her parents, "When did you get a cat? You haven't had one in the store for a long time."
"I know he's a…cat," she hissed through her teeth, staring back. "He's staring at me."
"He's not supposed to be at the table, Myka," her mother admonished starting to clear the dishes. "He showed up after a storm. He was curled up under the back steps. Your father, the old softy, brought the poor half-frozen, scruffy thing in, warmed him up and nursed him back. He hasn't really shown much interest in being a store cat. Tends to do what he wants and I have no idea how or where he spends his time. He shows up to come home and for his meals, and then off he goes. He could care less about the store even though he goes almost every day. The only thing he's consistent with is Saturday story time. He didn't stay for Alice in Wonderland, though. This is the first time I think I've ever seen him show any interest in anyone."
"He has good taste; in books and women." Myka picked up the purring feline, placing him on her own lap. "You may borrow her, and I'm very particular as to when and for how long, but she's mine," she warned the cat. He tolerated her attention, rubbing up against her hand politely and then jumped back over into Helena's lap, purring loudly and settling in for a warm snuggle. "I think you have a new friend." Myka smiled brightly.
"But he's a cat!" She glared at Myka's amusement.
Warren chuckled from the kitchen. "Not a cat person I take it? I don't think he really cares. He just chose you."
"Lovely," she said as if she just stepped in something unpleasant, looking at the warm body curled on her lap with disdain. Reluctantly, she tentatively started petting him. He purred louder and rubbed his head against her hand, roughly licking her knuckles. "What kind of a name is Verne for a cat? That's an absolutely horrid name! Of course he doesn't like people. He's embarrassed by his name." She jumped slightly when a foot lightly kicked her shin. Myka was giving her a threatening look, gesturing towards her father with her eyes. "Oh. So sorry, Warren, I wasn't thinking. But really, for a cat?" she repeated disgusted.
Jeannie laughed, placing a pie on the table, lightly tapping her husband's shoulder. "I told you it was a bad name."
"What else do you name a bookstore cat?" he retorted watching the scene unfold in front of him, a grin creeping across his face.
Myka rested her cheek on her hand watching Helena with amusement. "Dickens?" she suggested with a laugh.
Helena continued to stroke the cat, ruffling his fur and smiling with the increased volume of the purring. She had taken the cat's head in her hands, scratching his cheeks as she scrutinized his face then glared at Myka.
"That isn't funny. I have no knowledge of that." She looked at his face closer. "Oscar. He's definitely an Oscar." She smiled into the green eyes adoring her, blinking with contentment. "See? He's smiling. He approves. What were you thinking?" She looked up into everyone's amused faces. "Honestly, Verne is a dreadful name." She nodded her thanks at the plate set before her. "You'll just have to rename him. He's much too dignified for such a name."
"Really not a cat person, huh?" Warren leaned over whispering to his daughter. "I'll make sure his bags get packed."
Myka lifted her head quickly all humor gone. "No. No cats. We never agreed to a cat. She can come visit him anytime she wants." She saw his expression out of the corner of her eye, knowing she'd already lost the battle and Helena had no clue she'd been sucked in by a cat. "No, dad. No cats." Myka slowly shook her head starting to eat her dessert, watching Helena and the newly christened Oscar burrow deeper in her lap. "She can be kind of stubborn when it comes to her, uh, reputation."
"Nah, reputation's been ruined. You just got a cat. That there, kiddo, is a match made before time began. Kind of like another one sitting here and I'm not talking about your mother." His eyes beamed at her when she jerked her head at him in surprise. He nodded his head once finishing his pie.
Myka felt a cool hand slide across her shoulders.
"Myka, look. He likes pumpkin pie." Helena had him licking the pumpkin off her finger, smiling like a kid as he nudged her for more.
"Maybe he just likes pumpkins," Myka said causing an eruption of laughter at the table. She got up to help her mother with the plates finding herself shoved aside with a cursory, "I'll do it in the morning," from her mother.
"Very funny," Helena tossed back sarcastically. "My parents didn't have a pet name for me. I rather like having one. Charles always received the attention and glory. I, on the other hand, had to go about making my own, which I confess I did rather fantastically, perhaps with a few less than fantastic events. He just didn't like my name for him and I will not say what it was in front of your parents. It would be far from appropriate."
"There's that ego again and since when have you ever been appropriate?" Myka started to laugh leaning over the back of Helena's chair, wrapping her arms around her.
Turning her head slightly, Helena placed a kiss on her cheek, speaking softly, "Despite the initial unfortunate and rather embarrassing circumstances, since I finally met your parents."
"Uh-huh. I'll remember that."
"Well, Pumpkin," Jeannie said smiling, "You and Myka wanted to know about a bear? Let's go in the other room. Don't worry about that cat. He'll be following you around."
True to her word the cat jumped off Helena's lap and followed her to the bedroom to grab the bear.
"Is that the bear you were asking about?" Warren asked when Helena came back from the bedroom, the cat at her side. Helena handed the bear over to him, holding on a second longer, reluctant to let go. He looked up into her eyes in that split second catching a shadow of sadness cross her face. He examined it reverently, looking up at her once more, a vision of calmness once again, sitting back against Myka, between her legs in the corner of the sofa. Oscar settled in across the back next to their heads. "Now I remember this. Myka was only, what, five or so Jeannie? How could I forget? Myka was fascinated by that stain. Wanted to know why he had a butterfly on his foot. Grace brought that damn book with her too. The Time Machine." He scoffed. "First edition too. She read it to you and got you hooked on HG Wells. No offense, Helena. I'm sure you're familiar with it."
She shrugged him off casually, her head cradled in Myka's shoulder. "Oh, yes. Very familiar. Every word, in fact." A hand gently stroking her hair back, attempting to calm the unease she knew Myka felt pulsating in her.
"What do you remember about it, dad?"
"Why the sudden interest?" He looked at them perplexed.
"Curiosity," Helena supplied. "My daughter had… a similar one," she added stiffly.
"I don't know that there's anything to remember. It's just an antique teddy bear as far as I know. Grace was always off running around the world, bringing back things for you and Tracy. Don't know what she actually did when she went flying around. I've been thinking about it since you called. It was strange. She didn't really say much about it which was unusual. She always came back with big stories, but she was all hush, for her, that time."
"She met some old woman, Warren, remember? Told her to go to an auction and get some box or something. That bear and the book were in it I guess. She kept the book, but I don't remember seeing it when she passed. I find it hard to believe she'd get rid of a first edition HG Wells book, for no other reason than she liked to tease Warren with it. Oh, but weren't you two a pair. Always at odds with each other. If she said it was white, you said it was black when it was actually blue."
"I remember now. She told us some cockamamy. I figured she made it up. Probably did. Some old lady approached her in the park and they started talking. Told her to go to an estate sale. Gave her the address and everything, even the item number. She was told to buy the box and make sure it got delivered somewhere here in the states. She never said where, if that's even true. I never forgot, though. Grace insisted the bear belonged to you and not to let anything happen to it because your future was through its past." He shook his head. "Muddled in the head she was sometimes. Grace never explained anything. Just like you, Myka. Always off somewhere doing something. Never said what or where."
"That's part of my job, dad. Our jobs. You know that. Did she say who the woman was?"
"I don't think so. Just some stranger as far as I know. Not sure it matters much." He sat thinking for a while then sat up surprised. "She did, now that you mention it. Someone by the name of Bridgett Wilkinson. Huh. Imagine remembering that after all this time."
Myka felt the stiffening in the body against her. Oscar lifted his head opening his eyes wide and alert. She bent her head around to the side seeing Helena's face pale. "Sweetie, you okay?"
Still stiff, Helena shook her head, outwardly looking more relaxed, but Myka felt a tension vibrating through her body she'd not felt in a long time. "Yes. Yes. Of course. Just a bit of a headache." She rubbed her furrowed brow.
Jeannie looked at the clock. "Well of course you do. Look at the time. You two must be exhausted after your drive. You've been up for hours. Let me get you something for that headache and you can get to bed."
Myka pushed her forward slightly, rubbing her back. She whispered in her ear, "What's wrong?"
Shaking her head imperceptibly, she whispered back, "Later." She stood up taking the bear back, stroking its face. "Anything else you can think of?" she asked Myka's father.
"I'll keep thinking, but nothing comes to mind. She was pretty tight-lipped over the whole thing. Just insisted it was Myka's bear and someday she'd have the book too. But like Jeannie said, it wasn't in her estate and you know we looked at every book she owned. I don't know where it ended up. I gave Myka her own copy after Grace left with it. Begged me for the book you did. Made me read it to you all the time." He laughed at Myka as she stood up behind Helena wrapping her arms around the tense woman. "Then you had to go read almost every one you could get your hands on. Just how many do you have anyway?"
She leaned back still holding Helena in her arms, catching her eye, and smiled. "All of them, dad. Every single one of them." She kissed the side of her face and pulled her back into a tight hug.
Jeannie came in with two pills and a glass of water for Helena watching her suck them down quickly with concern. "Now you two have what you need?" she asked taking the glass out of the shaking hand. "You know where the extra blankets are if you get cold, right Myka?"
"Yes, mom. I might not recognize the room anymore, but the blankets are still in the closet." Myka led Helena down the hall, guiding her into the bedroom after saying their good nights.
Shutting the door behind them Myka turned quickly. "Helena, you look like you're going to be sick and you're shaking. Are you okay?"
Helena sat heavily on the bed letting out an uneasy breath. "Myka, Bridgett Wilkinson was," she stopped for a moment. "Before Christina was born…we…we were lovers. She left when Christina was five. She found the bear. She knew I wanted to get Christina a teddy bear that Christmas and hadn't found just the right bear yet. She found it."
Myka started to laugh until she saw the expression on Helena's face. She sat down next to her gently, confused. "You said you didn't have any relationships."
"Sweetheart, no, I didn't. Not in the sense that you think and nothing so meaningful. What I mean, is Charles wanted me to have a companion of sorts for no other reason than to keep me out of trouble. As if that stopped me. She wasn't kept as what you think of as a true companion. She was more than an affair, but not a true relationship either. She was a good friend. Honestly, I'm ashamed to admit I have not thought of her since before I asked to be bronzed."
"You used her?"
"No! I had a great affection for her and she I, but she was not someone…God, this does sound awful. Was I really so callous? We held a great affection for each other and enjoyed the others companionship and including our time as lovers, but it was not what I would ever claim as a relationship as such. Though few others, she was not the only person I kept company with. We were great friends, and yes, quite often at times lovers, but she led her own life separate from us. She would stay for months at a time, but I did not love her in a romantic sense anymore than anyone else, nor she I. It was rather a mutually beneficial arrangement. It was a different time, Myka, and I was a different person in that period of time. You must remember that. I know that is difficult for you sometimes. It was more of what you would refer to as friends with benefits? Regardless, she left shortly before Christina's sixth birthday and married a gentleman by the name of Henry Banford. I last saw her sometime after Christina died. Shortly before I ended up in bronze, actually. She loved Christina dearly, as did Christina her. I'm sure I was nearly unrecognizable to the poor girl by then. Well, hardly a girl."
"Helena, there is no way she could be the same person. That wasn't your Bridgett. It's just a coincidence."
"Is it? Do you really believe, doing what we do, that it truly was a coincidence?"
"I don't know, Helena. Are you trying to tell me a ghost of a former lover of yours came to my Aunt Grace and told her to buy a bear and a book?"
"No, I don't think it was just that. It was Christina's crate."
Myka stared at her, wondering if the stress of that crate really was getting to her.
"Myka, how much do you know about your aunt? Did she ever marry? What kind of adventures did she go on that she never told her brother details except what he considers fantastic stories?"
"She never married. She traveled a lot and had great stories. I figured she made most of them up too. I didn't get as many chances to see her as an adult and I missed that. I don't remember her reading the book."
"You were five, Myka."
"You think she was an agent, don't you?" Myka asked after a long moment in thought.
Helena nodded her head slowly. "If so, then she may have been responsible for getting that crate to the warehouse. Bridgett would have saved those belongings of Christina's. The question remains whose estate sale was it and how did it end up there?"
"But there's no record of the crate being received. We've looked." Myka let out a big sigh. "Claudia." Standing up, she grabbed the bag of toiletries handing it to Helena. "Here. Go get ready for bed and I'll call Claud. See what she can find out. I was fiveish, so we have a time period. And we know my aunt's name."
Helena turned at the door. "Myka, you found no record of my being bronzed either. I'm feeling very uneasy right now."
She smiled at the white faced woman, digging for her phone to call Claudia. "Me too."
The milk carton sat on the counter patiently waiting. Trying to be quiet, Helena opened and closed unfamiliar cupboard doors trying to remember where she saw the pots and pans stored. Their arrival had been so rushed and confusing she realized she barely took note of what actually happened. One minute they were walking in the door and the next they were being shuffled into Myka's old bedroom to get settled. Her father quickly emerged and they were falling into an unexpected ease. Still searching, Helena smiled, remembering the easy transition Myka seemed to make from her apprehension in the car to comfortable conversation, even teasing her that her mother prepared her broccoli recipe better than she did.
Helena jumped at the voice behind her.
"This one has always worked best," Jennie said softly, opening a lower cabinet door and pulling out a well used small pan. She poured in the milk and gently guiding Helena into a chair at the table. "There's something else I think we might want," she added reaching in an upper cupboard. She turned around with a conspiratorial smile on her face holding a bottle of bourbon. "A dash or a splash, Pumpkin?"
"Oh, definitely a significantly healthy splash I'd say," Helena whispered. "I'm sorry. Did I wake you? I was trying my best to be quiet."
"Never heard a sound, dear, so don't fret. It's a mother thing I think. I'm sure you had it too and still do." She sat down beside Helena, patting her hand. "Bad dreams?"
Helena nodded. Oscar meowed from the floor, rubbing against her leg. She reached down scratching him under his chin. "He's a bit of a bed hog, isn't he?"
"I wouldn't know. He's never slept with us. I should have warned you the door doesn't latch well. I keep bugging Warren to fix it, but we don't get guests often." She went to the stove pouring two mugs of milk and carried the bourbon over. "In case you want more."
Helena tasted the warm milk, pouring another healthy dose, closing her eyes and appreciating the aroma rising in the steam tickling her nostrils. "Always did the trick for Christina. Unfortunately, she was not so easily put off and started to acquire her mother's taste for a good cognac. I may just switch to this. Myka complains the cognac is a waste in milk when she discovered the receipt of my purchase one day. She's right, really." She sighed heavily, leaning back in the chair after another satisfying sip. "Usually, I'm the one that falls back to sleep and Myka ends up aimlessly wandering the house. She loses much sleep I fear. She must feel some residual childhood comfort here. I wish she'd worry less and fall asleep with me after such episodes. She awoke before I screamed this time at least. That would have been quite unpleasant for you. She's sensing them earlier now."
"Oh, we've dealt with plenty of nightmares in this house. Myka especially, though I don't think she remembers. Myka will never not worry about you nor you her. She'll relax a little as time goes by, but I doubt she'll ever go back to sleep easily."
"It's rare that I wake up in her arms the next morning after the dreams." Helena looked up uneasily. "I'm sorry. That is perhaps more information than you care to hear," she said with a nervous laugh.
"Why? Not anymore to me than you hearing I wake up next to that old gizzard every morning, and he's still worth a good romp or two." Jeannie laughed softly as Helena's shocked expression turned into a devilish smile. "See? Have no fears, Helena. Either of you. You being a woman was never an issue, yet a bit of a shocking surprise. It was not knowing you existed. I've never seen Myka so relaxed and demonstrative with any other person like she is with you. My eldest daughter has never sat on that sofa with another person, let alone in her arms before tonight or ever been so physically affectionate. I'd guess you two have no idea how often you touch each other. It's nice to see. She's been looking for you for a long time."
"What makes you say that?"
"I can feel it. There's something more to you than either of you let on. I'll never ask, but I know. You're unique." She sat back finishing her milk, looking into the empty mug. "There is something very special between you."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"I can feel it. Warren says I'm off. I can sense things about my daughters. I know, just a crazy, old lady." She continued when Helena cocked her head, looking perplexed on the wise face. "It's where Myka gets it from. She doesn't know. Warren doesn't get it. But you both have it. That's part of what's special."
"Helena? Helena?" Myka came scurrying around the corner sliding to a stop in thick socks. "Oh. Sorry. Are you okay? What are you doing out here? You're going to get cold and you don't even have socks on!" She sagged against the wall. "I'm sorry. You're the one that sleeps it off. I'm supposed to be awake wandering around and bumping into the furniture."
Helena shrugged. "Apparently not tonight. I thought you'd fallen asleep?"
"Well, I did sort of, but then I felt something wasn't right and you weren't there when I reached for you. Did you have another nightmare?" she asked grabbing a blanket from the living room and wrapping it around her partner. Rubbing the cold arms vigorously, she kissed the top of her head. "You're freezing."
"You're not a crazy, old lady," Helena said smiling at the older woman listening intently. She held her hand out to Myka pulling her toward the chair next to her, putting her cold feet in the waiting hands. "No, darling. You know when I do. Everything is fine. Your mother…your mother was awake as well. Care to join us?" She leaned over stroking the messy hair away from Myka's forehead saying in a stage whisper, "She showed me where the bourbon is. Not a bad substitute." She winked at Myka's mother, then back into Myka's eyes, staring intently, touching that spot in her soul.
"I can leave you two alone…"
Myka startled, breaking their contact. "No, mom, please stay. Unless you're tired and want to go back to bed." Myka smiled into the concerned, uneasy eyes, silently thanking her.
"Wide awake now. How about some more milk and a game of cards. We can decide what we're going to do tomorrow. Sounds like we'll be getting an old spring snow storm."
Oscar jumped into Helena's lap. She looked at his inquisitive face. "No. You are far too young for bourbon in your milk. House cat rule #1. Milk isn't good for you." She poked his tummy. "And look at that belly of yours. Grandfather feeds you too much. You need to start exercising more, little man and starting eating differently. We'll soon fix that." Helena looked up at the second mug of milk being offered, finding two sets of amused eyes cast upon her. "What?" she asked defensively.
"Honey, you're, um, uh, talking to, um…a cat." Myka held her laughter back, leaving the trace of a smile in her eyes.
"No, I'm not. I'm talking to Oscar. It's a great literary name and a very intriguing man. How could he not be? He turned me down numerous times, understandably. Ouch!" Helena glared at Myka, rubbing her calf. "Yes, of course. What game are we playing?"
Myka raised the blind a few inches peeking out the window. Her mother had been right. The heavy spring snow was just starting. The smell of coffee and what smelled like a huge breakfast drew her attention from the window. Helena had already sprawled across the bed, Oscar tucked securely between her legs, riding the wave of fidgeting feet. It was good to see her finally asleep. They'd eventually ended their early morning games with her mother around four, talking about nothing in particular and enduring embarrassing stories of her childhood. She left the two bed hogs to sleep, her stomach growling.
Instinct led her to the fresh coffee before she noticed her mother. "Mmmm. Mom, this is really good coffee. What is it?" she asked plopping down in the chair and putting her feet up on the chair Helena had been sitting in earlier.
"It's a special blend I get from the roaster down the street from the store. I've got another bag if you want to take it home with you. Your father can pick up another anytime." She sat down with her own coffee, slightly uncomfortable. "Thank you, Myka. I know this visit wasn't your idea, but I'm very glad she tricked you into it. She's a very special person and obviously loves you. I enjoyed our early morning time, just us girls. I hope it gets easier for us."
"Yeah, she is." She drank half of the coffee and nodded her head slightly. "I'm glad, too. I hate it was because of a nightmare, but I had fun last night. I guess I mean this morning. Maybe there is magic to that casserole."
"Could be. Are you hungry?"
"Starving." A plate appeared before her. Her eyes widened at the volume of scrambled eggs, bacon and hash browns. "Wow. Maybe not quite this starving." She dug into the hash browns immediately. "Mmmm. You always make the best hash browns. Maybe you can teach Helena. She tries, but she can't do this." Myka pointed to the food with her fork. "And don't tell her I said that." She ate another fork full, coughing it up when Helena stood beside her, batting at her legs still stretched out across the other chair.
"Don't tell Helena what?" she asked eyeing Myka suspiciously, sitting in her lap and wrapping her arm around her shoulder. Taking Myka's fork, she ate some of the hash browns. "This is fabulous. Will you please share your secret and teach me how to make these? We've both tried and failed miserably."
Another fork appeared with a broad grin. "Tomorrow morning. And that's what I'm not supposed to tell you. Coffee?"
"No, thank you. A glass of milk would be wonderful though." Helena turned in Myka's arms. "You forgot house rule #1," she said through a yawn, waiting patiently. Not receiving the anticipated kiss quickly enough, she took her opportunity and gave Myka a thorough good morning kiss. "Mmm. I love how you taste. How easily you forget these rules of yours."
"Um, Helena, we aren't home," whispered. "You may want to take that into consideration," she added blushing, watching her mother busy herself at the sink.
Helena turned her head following the direction of Myka's attention, whispering in her ear, "From what I've compiled of your mother over the past few months and last night, she hardly cares and more likely approves. However, for you, I will try to temper my affections." She picked up her fork diving into the eggs. "Oh, my God. Jeannie this is magnificent. You wouldn't happen to have any…"
Myka laughed seeing the hot sauce set on the table in front of them. "Just keep it off my half. You don't think you and your little furry friend could sit in your own chair, do you?" Sitting in the chair next to them, Oscar cocked his head, his eyes narrowing into slits.
"Of course not. This is far more comfortable and he appears to be rather reluctant to share his seat." Helena fed her more hash browns. "Where is Warren?" she asked looking around. Myka's cup was quickly filled. "Jeannie, you don't need to serve us. We are quite capable of helping ourselves."
"He's at the store anxiously waiting to show you around and if I know him as well as I know I know him, busy buzzing around making things just right. We probably won't get many customers, if any today, but he'll hide there all day keeping busy anyway. So expect a full tour."
"I can't wait," she said enthusiastically, quickly finishing the food on the plate.
"I get to show you the stockroom," Myka whispered, smiling around the last bit of bacon.
"Really? You have hiding spots of your own?" Helena teased mischievously standing up. "Well then, I best hurry up and get ready for the grand tour. Come, Oscar. You can show us all of your hiding spots as well."
Chapter Text
"Are they still at the store?" Myka asked flopping on the sofa after her nap.
"Afraid so. Your father must be boring her to death and forced a sandwich on her from that place around the corner, too."
Picking up a book from the coffee table, she started thumbing through the pages. "Those are good sandwiches. I should have brought some home for you and me. I liked your soup, though. Maybe you can stick a copy in Helena's pile she started last night. I think she had more fun going through your special recipe book than playing cards. Anyone reading this?" She held the book up for her mother. "She's probably having the time of her life right now. I tried to drag her back with me, but she was like a little kid in a candy store. Dad may end up being the one pulling HER away. Hope there's room in the car for the books she ends up bringing home." She chuckled opening the book. "Did you see Oscar riding on her shoulders?"
Her mother joined in her mirth. "I think you've just become the proud joint mother of a stray cat."
"Oh, joy. Wasn't really my plan. I wonder if Helena's figured it out yet. I have a feeling Oscar will be sitting in the car with his bag before we even get out the back door. He'll be good for us. It'll be a little comforting knowing she's got him with her when I'm away. Hmm. It may be the only kind of mother I end up being," Myka mumbled dropping the book in her lap staring into space.
Myka's mother looked over her glasses from the desk she was working at, hesitating, unsure of the new fragile balance with her daughter. "Does that bother you? You never gave any indication of wanting children. I remember you making that clear when Tracy got pregnant. Something to the affect of 'Why would you want to look like a hippo on two feet and be a milk machine with giant boobs that hurt, just to have a snotty nosed mini-me dragging you down all the time?'."
"Did I really say that?" She looked at her mother astonished, trying to remember the incident and failing.
"Yes, you did." She nodded emphatically, a pained expression creeping over her face. "You stood right there at the edge of the kitchen leaning your shoulder against the wall. Tracy was crushed by that comment."
She sat up, tossing the book back on the table, imagining herself or Helena pregnant, realizing it wasn't nearly the horrific idea she'd obviously thought at one time. "Wow. I really was an ass." She shook her head. "Poor Tracy. If I'd been her I'd have punched me."
"But she's not you. She just said it was her body, not yours, so get over it and then she cried later when you left. You two aren't much different than your father and Grace. I think at times he was jealous she got to float around without a care in the world. We don't know the whole story behind her life and maybe that was part of the problem. Kind of like you, she kept a lot to herself. You're more like Grace. You even look like her. I think that's one of the reasons you and your father have such a hard time. He loves you. He loved her. He's trying so hard to see beyond what reminds him of her, Myka. I'm so happy Helena found you and I'm grateful for the courage it took her to call, essentially a stranger from a very awkward situation no less, for a recipe to make for you because she loves you that much. We get to see you through her eyes. She doesn't see Grace, she sees Myka. The miracle casserole!"
Leaning her head back against the sofa, Myka laughed. "Helena doesn't make casseroles, mom. We rarely eat anything like that casserole. I never even questioned it when she made it. God, I love her. I want to strangle her sometimes, but I really do love her."
She felt the sofa shift as her mother sat next to her. She lifted her head when her mom took her hand. "You really do want a child, don't you?"
"Ohhhh, I don't know, mom," she breathed into clasped hands.
"'I don't know' isn't exactly the best thing to go on, honey. Especially if you want to go about it biologically. That's not as simple as a roll in the hay every night and I can't imagine it's nearly as enjoyable."
"Well, that's one way of putting it. We aren't going to start talking about sex now, are we? I think it's a little late for that chat and I'm pretty sure I have I good idea what I'm doing." Her mother roared in laughter at her blushing daughter. "Hmm. Mom, I've gone through the exam and everything. I can't ask something like this of her. It won't make or break what I have and want with her, but the idea became very appealing when I fell in love with someone I could never live without. There are just so many," she snickered, "well, complications."
"There always are, Myka. Even more for you I'm sure, but it doesn't matter who you are or what you do. Does she know about the exam?"
"No. It's not exactly the easiest topics in our house. Just trying to talk about it can become an argument. She avoids it and I understand why, but I've seen her watch kids play so many times and she gets this look on her face that I can't read. It's just something I feel."
"I wouldn't expect it to be an easy topic, but part of loving someone is getting through those painful topics."
"Oooh, trust me, we're very familiar with that part. More than you know."
"I only know what she's shared and I know it's very little. I'll never ask for more. I get the idea that Christina had a very traumatic death and it had an equally traumatic effect on Helena. I couldn't imagine it not. She mentioned it was a very dark time for her and, oh, how did she phrase it? She reacted in a less than appropriate manner. That was it. She also said you were responsible for saving her from that darkness. Her nightmares are from this?"
"Not so much anymore, until recently. We've unexpectedly stumbled across some of Christina's belongings she didn't know she had. You can imagine what has surfaced from that. Even I'm having bad dreams of a girl I never met. It's one of the reasons she's become so interested in my teddy bear. As far as nightmares go…we both have things we fight in our sleep."
"I suspected as much. I know she's been struggling with them. I'm sorry, Myka. I can't imagine what happened in your lives that caused such damage to her hand and something tells me that's only a small part. I wish you could share. Maybe someday you can. Myka, don't push too hard, but you need to tell her about that exam. That's just not right. She needs to know what you're thinking. Keep in mind, as difficult as it may be for her, or you, she may want to be the biological mother. You might want to take a closer look at what she eats. And don't rule out adoption."
"I know. I just don't want her to feel the decision is all on her. It should be a joint decision."
"Oh, Myka. She knows you're making it her decision. She's not a stupid woman. Far from it. You're making it hers because you don't want to cause her more pain, but she needs your input. Don't add more stress to her by making it her decision. She's scared. She's already done this on her own once and she knows the hard parts as well as the good, and then she experienced the worst thing imaginable for a parent. Just tell her how you feel and really listen to her, and I mean listen. Feel it. She can feel most of it anyway."
"What?" Myka gave her an odd look. That was phrased too well.
Her mother just smiled. "I know. Ask her if you can't figure it out."
"You know." Myka sat concentrating on her mother's impassive, smiling face. Her mother was never this cryptic. In the midst of her deliberation she didn't register the wet cold sliding down her back. She jerked around pulling her shirt out in the back, jumping around trying to rid herself of the obnoxious invasion. With the snow now mostly on the floor and a wet shirt, she faced her stealthy, now laughing attacker.
"Tell me you did not just do that," she said seriously to Helena.
Bent over and trying to breathe, Helena managed to stutter her defense. "I would...but…there's too…much evi…dence…on…the floor…Dad's….idea." She pointed to Warren, grinning behind her.
"Oh, you're not pulling this old man into this one. All I said is wouldn't it be funny." He stepped aside as Myka slowly came around the sofa with a stone cold expression.
Helena sobered immediately, eyes widening, holding her hands out in front of her. "Now, Myka," was all she managed to get out before sharply turning on her heel making a dash for the door, Myka quickly gaining ground behind her screaming, "You are so going to pay for this!"
Warren turned to his wife laughing when the back door slammed shut. "So, want to take bets on who's going to end up more soaked?"
"I can't believe you even mentioned such a thing. You know Myka hates that." She started laughing.
"Something tells me this isn't the first time something like this has happened. Our little girl has finally met her match. Better get ready for some wet clothes. Cheeky little thing, isn't she? Damn good backgammon player too."
After hot showers and warm dry clothes, Helena continued to laugh every time Myka looked at her during dinner, encouraging Myka's father to tell his own stories of Myka's childhood. Myka helped her mother clean up from dinner, pushing Helena after her father, whispering strict orders. "Do not mention chess. I know how hard it is for you to let someone win. You won't even let me win. And thank you for giving in a game or two of backgammon."
"What would be the point in letting you win? You'd know I was letting you. Besides, I have other games to play with you that you win based entirely on your very own skill." She spun around after a chaste kiss. "Ready for another round, Warren? I've been banished from the kitchen it seems. I've been accused of breaking too many wine glasses in the past. As I recall, they were still half full at the time."
Myka shook her head at the ongoing verbal accusations, groaning when she heard her father start off into yet another story of her childhood she was sure was greatly exaggerated.
"There's not much left to do, Myka," her mother chastised. "Go in there and spend time with them. It doesn't sound like you've had much time together lately."
"I don't know. We're leaving tomorrow and we still have the rest of the week to ourselves. Maybe I'm kind of enjoying getting to know my mom a little better." Myka leaned back against the counter taking the next pan from her mother to dry with the towel in her hand. "You really check in on her when I'm gone?"
"I have. It started when she told me about the wave of nightmares she was having and you were gone so much at the time. She was having a hard time adjusting. Not often. I let her decide when she needed someone to listen. I didn't want to intrude where I didn't belong."
Grabbing the last pan, Myka stared at the floor, absent mindedly wiping the towel around the pan. "Thanks. I'm glad she had you. HAS you. It's not always easy to stay in contact when we're gone. I know what those times are like. I guess my stubbornness lost out on something. I doubt you were intruding too much if she kept calling you back." Myka smiled shyly. "She mentioned on the way here she didn't realize how much she missed having a mom. You're filling an empty spot."
"I enjoy talking with her. You don't have to miss out on anything, Myka. We're still here. She's given us all a second chance."
"Well, she's pretty good with the whole second chance thing. Third chances too, and then some."
Her mother faced her, taking the still wet pan out of her hands, dried it and put it away. She patted Myka's cheek. "I don't think she limits the number of chances and we don't either. Come on. I found something while you were recovering from your snowball fight. Your father remembered, actually. You could have at least put coats on." She chuckled at the memory of the two, cold and wet, shivering by the door, laughing like kids.
Smiling, Myka forgot for a moment where she was. "Then there'd be no excuse to warm up." Her eyes widened. "I didn't just say that."
Laughing, bright eyes smiling, her mother gave her a one armed hug. "Yes, you did, and it sounds like as good enough of an excuse as any to me. Not sure why you'd need an excuse though." She walked away leaving Myka standing in the middle of the kitchen, digesting what she just heard. "Twice, mom. That's all I accept. Just twice."
Her mother came back, an odd expression on her face. "I can guarantee you, Myka, if you are any daughter of mine, and I was there when you were born, if that woman in there loved me, I wouldn't be looking for excuses. Now stop being a prude and come see what I found. Remember, I was there Christmas, too." She turned cackling all the way into the living room.
"Now I know how Claudia feels!" Myka complained behind her mother.
"What about Claudia?" Helena asked from the sofa patting the spot beside her, helping pack up the backgammon board.
"Nothing," she said too quickly, causing Helena to look at her closely.
"Then why is your face so red and blotchy?" Helena took the small photo album from Myka's mother's hand. "Oooh. There is only one thing that makes your face that color. Anything you'd care to share, darling? Later perhaps?"
"No!" Myka flopped down on the sofa next to her, making a concerted effort to not look at her parents. "Who won?"
"She cleaned the board in record time. I find it hard to believe she doesn't like chess." He leaned back in his chair picking up a thin book.
"It's not that she doesn't like it, dad. Quite the opposite. She's actually really, really good and I didn't want her to struggle making it look like a good game when in fact she'd probably whip your ass in ten moves," Myka admitted sheepishly.
"It would theoretically take more than that, dear. I believe the record is still held at a game of 39 moves ending with the win attained by the resignation of the opponent. However, I remember Caturanga besting me with less numerous times." She leaned in closer rewarded with a warm arm around her waist.
"And you think your old man couldn't deal with that? Helena, you owe me a game. I want to see you do this. It must be fascinating. So am I to assume you've let me win some of these backgammon games?"
She shrugged nonchalantly. "Quite possibly," she said absently, flipping through the photo album.
"Well you can just stop doing that right now. I can learn a thing or two by getting my butt whipped. So Myka, you stay out of our games."
"She's not so great at Trivial Pursuit, though. That's always worth a laugh or two."
"Good. Evens things out. Poker?"
Myka jumped in. "Don't even start. What's that?" She leaned over Helena's shoulder, looking at the pictures.
"It looks like you, but it's not. These photos are far too old to be of you." She continued turning the pages, fascinated by the gradually aging figures in the photos.
"That's Aunt Grace." Myka pointed at a person that could be her twin.
"Myka, she looks just like you. I always wondered where those curls came from."
"Recessive gene on my side," Myka's father laughed. "Those curls were so tight when she was little. She'd get sticks and stuff caught in her hair all the time. Always out playing with the boys. Had one heck of a right hook." He chuckled rubbing his jaw. "Infuriated our mother to no end. Figures this one had to follow in her footsteps. If I didn't know better I would have said Myka was her kid. She followed Grace around like a puppy when she visited. I bet you don't remember that summer you spent with her, do you? Tracy was just an infant. She wasn't an easy baby like you were. Your mother was so tired between us getting the store going, a demanding little one, and an unexpected, fussy baby. Grace offered to take you for the summer."
"No, I don't. I spent a whole summer with her?" Myka tried hard to remember, unable to recall any images of the occasion.
"Yeah. I don't know who cried more when you came home; you, her or me." Her father sobered, frowning slightly.
"You? Why were you crying?" Myka asked, confused.
"Why? I was so damn happy to have you back. I missed you. You were just a little pip squeak, but you were my little buddy around the store. I know you don't believe it, but you were. Then…I don't know what happened." He sighed, tears threatening on the rims of his eyes.
"I came back as a mini-Grace," Myka said sadly.
"Jeannie, may we take one of these photos? I don't think we have one. Would you like that, Myka?" Helena asked softly. "Oh Myka, look what I have to look forward to." She showed her the photo of a much older, still beautiful Grace. "I can see us sitting together under our maple."
Myka pulled out the photo, smiling. "If we live that long," she said quietly under her breath. "That was a few years before she died. Wow. I really miss her. And you have no idea where that book ended up?" She put the photo back, handing the album to her mother.
"No. Your father and I talked about it after you two went to bed. It wasn't in her book collection. She would have liked you to have it I'm sure."
Yawning, Helena dropped her head into Myka's lap. "I'm sure it's somewhere if it meant that much to her. Things like that show up when they are supposed to, not before." She wiggled back into the sofa, closing her eyes as Myka absently started stroking her head. Oscar jumped out of nowhere settling behind her knees, kneading into her calves. "Ouch!" She batted his feet away. "That is very rude. Proper cats only do that when sufficient covering is available." She yawned again, smiling when he stopped.
"Maybe we can teach Ver…Oscar all about a certain prince." Myka's father held the book up he'd been holding.
"You're going to read to us?" Myka asked laying alongside her partner, pushing the disgruntled cat to the end of the sofa to stretch across their feet.
"You're never too old for your father to read a story to you," he grumbled gruffly, opening the book to the first chapter of the worn book.
Two chapters later they were both asleep on the sofa when Warren put the book down with a soft chuckle. "Look at that. Still only takes two chapters to put her to sleep." Jeannie peeked around from her chair. He quickly brushed her off. "Don't wake them up. I want to spend more time with my little buddy, even if she is asleep. Maybe we still have a chance after all." He picked up another book pretending to read, watching the two slumber. An hour later, discomfort woke Helena, her eyes slowly opening straight into Myka's father's eyes. They stared at each other for a moment until she sleepily smiled back.
"Thank you," he whispered.
She sat up gradually gently releasing the arm that lay around her and gazed at Myka's relaxed face. "You're welcome." Standing up, she stretched, joints cracking with loud pops, and grabbed the loose hand hanging over the edge of the sofa. She gave the arm a firm tug. "Come on, Pip-Squeak. We have a long drive ahead of us tomorrow and I intend to sleep in a real bed, with or without you."
Myka startled awake, following her half asleep, mumbling incoherently under her parent's watchful eyes.
Unable to sleep, Myka stared at the ceiling, watching the lights of the few cars filter through the blinds and circle around the room. She smiled when The War of the Worlds came to mind. Helena hated the movie of course and repeatedly about continuous piercing screams. She tried unsuccessfully to move her head off of the arm beneath her neck without waking the form tightly wrapped around her. Helena had fallen asleep almost immediately as her head hit the pillow close to her own head, whispering a steady pulse of warm air in her ear. Her left hand waved to Myka from the far side. She knew the arm had to be dead asleep by now.
Sighing in her sleep, Helena adjusted her head on the pillow, her leg burrowing deeper into the recently widened space. Her right arm stretched across Myka, pulling her closer. Warm, moist air caressed her shoulder, its rhythm slightly altered.
"Helena?" Myka spoke softly to the shadows on the ceiling, surprised to hear the noise vibrating along her neck.
"Hmm?"
"Are you awake?" Myka asked expecting another half conscious grunt.
"You already know the answer to that," she mumbled into her neck.
She rolled on her side facing closed eyes, releasing the trapped arm. "Thank you."
"For what?" A sleepy response came back at her. "Bloody hell, but I hate this." She rolled onto her back, grimacing as the circulation started returning to her arm. "Wide awake now."
"Sorry. I knew that was going to happen. I tried to free it up. I don't know why you insist on laying that arm under me."
"Because I like to hold you," she replied, peeved at her arm and being woken out of her warm, cozy half sleep in such an excruciating manner. She enjoyed that state of wandering dreams wrapped around her lover. "Now, what are you so thankful for you found it necessary to wake me from my blessed state of wandering with you?"
"You were only half asleep, so stop grumping. You usually get rewarded when I wake you up in that state." She slowly dragged her finger down Helena's neck, across her collarbone, stopping with the slight stiffening beside her, continuing to circle the area. "Still need to work on that." She tipped Helena's head toward her with the finger against her chin placing a soft kiss on parted lips. Her finger continued to wander aimlessly. "For dragging me here. It was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. I don't think it would have been without you here. You're so at ease with them and not in the weird, annoying way Pete was. It just came so naturally to you. It kind of relaxed me watching you and I guess I just fell into it with you."
"Sweetheart, I've gotten to know your parents over a number of months. It was easy for me. In some ways I came here knowing them better than you, but you're leaving knowing them better than you did. Just give it time. I'm very proud of you. You didn't close up on them like you did at Christmas. Instead, you've opened yourself up to them. Actually, I was quite surprised at how at ease you did seem, especially with me." She smiled as the traveling finger turned into four. "And remember, I was raised and taught to interact in a variety of situations."
"Uh, not so evident at Christmas," Myka replied with a giggle, receiving a glare. "Really though, I don't think I could have without you."
"Perhaps, perhaps not, but that is irrelevant. You're communicating, and very well I might add. Time, Myka. And being discovered naked by strangers was never a situation one was taught to do with grace."
Myka tried to move her feet. "Did your cat sneak in here again?" She pushed the disgruntled feline off, crawling over Helena and leaning down for a deep kiss.
"He's not my cat," she retorted laughing.
"If you say so."
Myka looked into the laughing eyes, strong hands grasping her hips.
"I have better things to do right now. I believe someone mentioned the word 'reward'." The sudden pull on her hips caused Myka to fall forward, both hands slamming against the wall. "You can be quiet, can't you?" Helena drawled looking up at the shocked face, licking her lips.
"Stop! Just stop screaming," Myka begged frantically, pushing the contorted face into the pillow. She'd instantly panicked not knowing what to do. In a matter of seconds she watched her lover's face mutate from silent pleasure and ecstasy into a contortion of unbearable pain accompanied by a blood curdling scream. Helena managed to rollover onto her stomach, barely croaking out one word, 'cramp', before her anguished scream continued into the pillows. Between anxious, tense breaths she managed to express the problem to Myka. Her right calf cramped with the tension of her release.
The knock on the door paralyzed her when she realized Oscar had shot off into oblivion leaving the hinky latched door open. Her mother's tentative voice slid through the opening. "Honey, everything okay?" Myka would have laughed if she wasn't so agitated by Helena's pain. Obviously not.
"Uh, yeah?" she said uncertainly.
"NO!" Helena yelled, trying hard to breathe through the excruciating pain. "Fucking…..CRAMP!"
"Myka do you need help?" her mother tried to ask seriously, failing miserably.
"No?"
"YES!" Helena screamed, her leg paralyzed.
"Hold on, Mom." She turned to Helena, "Hold on. God, it smells like sex in here. Where the fuck are my clothes?" She threw the fallen covers over her naked partner.
"She's already seen me naked once." She broke into another screeching scream trying to stretch her foot. She grabbed Myka's hand, squeezing it until Myka uttered a painful sound. She shot daggers at Myka with one look, coldly exclaiming through clenched teeth, "You get her in her right now because you are completely useless."
"Myka? Can I come in? I've got the heating pad."
Myka opened the door, horrified. Her mother never looked at her or said a thing. She handed her the heating pad on her way to the contortion on the bed. Helena grasped the mattress, white knuckled, desperately trying to calm her breathing and relax.
"Got a good old Charlie horse, huh? Just keep breathing and try to relax." Myka's mother lifted the blanket up over Helena's legs identifying immediately the afflicted calf. "Myka, don't just stand there. Plug that thing in and get it warm and at least try to coach her a little." She shook her head at her daughter's blank face. "And you think you want a baby," she mumbled taking Helena's leg in her warm hands.
Helena grabbed her hand again with all her force. "Shit! Just how do you get your hands that strong?"
Rolling her eyes at her daughter Jeannie spat, "It's called pain, Myka. Thought you two had been through that before. Just think Lamaze, Pumpkin. Doesn't matter what the pain. Hasn't changed that much."
"We didn't have Lamaze! We just screamed through the burn, prayed a lot, pushed the bloody bastards out and hoped we survived the ordeal!" She screamed again as Jeannie tried to move her foot.
"Sweetie, you've done a good job with all your other injuries. I'm no expert, but I think it's pretty close," Myka said lamely.
"Would someone please explain to me why I'm the one that always gets to experience excruciating pain?"
"Maybe because you're not really 37 and things start to catch up with you! Hey, I dislocated my shoulder, don't forget. That wasn't exactly a bed of roses. Aargh. That's my hand you're squeezing!"
"Get used to it if you think I'm pushing out another baby. And you'd better be prepared for twins."
"What?!"
"Aargh. That's it, Jeannie. Get the bloody thing worked out." She puffed out more air. "Really, Myka, have you not figured that one out? You can be such an unbelievable idiot sometimes. Ow! What the hell are you doing?"
"It's going to hurt more before it gets better." Jeannie continued patiently.
"Like I've never heard that bef..Ugh!" She buried her head in the pillow again.
"I know it's hard, Helena, but try to relax. Myka, right here. Put your hands here. You can feel the knot. Just start slowly. You're going to have to work deep into this one," her mother said calmly. "So much for that pre-med," her mother muttered.
"Holy crap! Helena, what the hell? You have a rock in here." She tried to follow her mother's direction, massaging the cramp, more distracted by the pain the woman was expressing.
"Just bloody well fix it already!"
"I'm trying! Just keep breathing. At this rate you'll have Lamaze perfected."
"A little deeper, Myka, gradually." Her mother pressed deeper into the muscle causing another scream into the pillow. "Easy."
"Yes, please. Easy. Where are all those wonderful drugs that I've become so fond of?"
"They don't count right now. What do you mean twins? Where did that come from?"
"Really, Myka? Can we talk about that later? Oh, do leave your mother to this. Pre-med indeed. A lot of good that did you."
"Helena's right, Myka. Just go hold her hand."
"And get it brok….Arrgh! Damn it, Helena, you could have warned me."
"Like I got?"
"Don't complain too much," she hissed. "You seemed to be enjoying drawing out that tension until you were done."
Her mother ignored the conversation working the muscle until it was bearable and Helena could move her foot. Oscar jumped back up when the screaming finally ended, watching with great interest. Catching him out of the corner of her eye sitting at her side, Helena growled at him, "What are you looking at, you little coward. Ran away when it really mattered. She may have been useless at first but at least she stayed and tried." He cocked his head, chirped softly and nonchalantly stretched to her head, head butted her and licked her nose.
"I think that'll do it for now." Myka's mother stood up. "Put the heating pad on and keep slowly stretching that muscle. I take it you can take it from here, Myka, now that your panic is over?" Getting a nod of confirmation she leaned in whispering in her daughter's ear. "You might want to work on that panic thing if you really do want a baby. Lot of good that Secret Service training did you tonight."
"Uh, yeah. Thanks, mom."
Jeannie turned at the door, her eyes sparkling with humor. "By the way, Helena, Warren says that's why you're supposed to use those fancy ladders in the store he kept pestering you about and not spend all your time on your toes. Not the first time that's happened in this house. Let's just hope you learned the first time. Took us a while to figure it out."
Helena looked at Myka's face and roared with laughter into the pillow.
"Myka, are all these books here yours?" Helena asked running her fingers across the bindings on the shelves while Myka finished packing.
"Huh?" Myka looked across the room at the wall of shelves filled with books. "Probably. Tracy wasn't really into reading. Still isn't as far as I know. I was never able to pack all of them when I moved out. I suppose we should take them back with us at some point. They're mostly from when I was a kid so I wasn't as concerned at the time. Mostly children's stories. Dr. Seuss, E.B. Webb, Alice in Wonderland, which I have NO intention of ever keeping. Why?"
"So, we're coming back?" She lifted her eyebrows, an arrogance flowing from her. "I thought you had all of my books with you?" she asked, her finger stopping at one book, caressing the binding. "I left a very sweet message for you if I remember correctly." She turned towards Myka, smirking, not taking her finger off of the book.
Smiling back, Myka nodded her head walking up behind her nuzzling the back of her neck. "Oh yes, you did," she murmured in the warmth. "One I covet and adore. That's why it stays well hidden away from prying eyes."
"Then what's this?" She pulled the book out leaning back into Myka's arms, her expression changing immediately looking at the cover. "Myka," she breathed. "This is a first edition and I should know." She handed it over, her mouth still open.
"What are you talking about? I never had a first…" Myka took the book out of her hand. "Oh my god," she whispered opening it carefully, an envelope falling to the floor. "This is Aunt Grace's book. No wonder my parents never found it. She snuck it in here with my stuff? Mom said she wanted me to have it. She was right."
Helena bent over, picking up the envelope. "I think it is yours now." She handed her the envelope.
Shutting the door quickly, Myka sat on the bed reading the letter.
Myka,
You'll hate me for this but I trust you can read the white space between the lines by now and so white they are not. You'll find this on your own when you need it. Don't tell your parents I hid this here. It was always meant for you. Seeing you the other day reminded me I needed to get this done. I'm sure you've discovered your own time machine by now. Don't let go no matter how hard it can be at times. It's worth it. I didn't hold on hard enough. The past is the key to your future. She needs to stop fighting her past. That's how she breaks the seal and crosses that bridge. Only she can break the seal. Keep waiting for her. The only way to break those seals is through the past. Help her and believe in the impossible. Ghosts do exist. She'll sense it whether she wants to or not. Don't let her fight it. If she fights the past you both lose the future. Feel the math, don't think it. I know what they say, so be emotional. It worked before. 2=1+2=1. You both are really that strong. Your mother senses it too. You got part of it from her, not that lovable, old goat of a brother of mine. Bless his soul. I had the recessive gene you have. Let him see you, not me.
I love you kiddo. Keep doing the impossible.
-Aunt Grace
"Why is everyone so cryptic?" Myka complained.
"Myka, she knew. It's really not that cryptic. Really think it's a coincidence now? Come on. We need to, um, really get these sheets in the wash. I don't really care that your mother knows. She knew already anyway, but that doesn't mean she will clean up after us. It was bad enough she had to help out with an unfortunate side effect."
"Oh my god!" Myka put the envelope together and placed it in the book putting it in their bag. "You're actually embarrassed about sex?"
"Sex, no. It merely didn't turn out quite as I had planned. I've never had to be rescued by a mother because of a cramp in the middle of an earth shattering orgasm before." She kissed Myka deeply. "And I do mean earth shattering, sweetheart, up until the cramp. Now hurry up, Oscar is waiting for us in the car already."
"He is not coming home with us," Myka stated.
"Yes, he is. We'll figure out your aunt's letter." Helena grabbed the bag leaving Myka behind with the sheets.
"Great. Miss 'I'm not Emily Lake' now has a cat to go along with the girlie scream."
With Myka's loose robe hanging off one shoulder, Helena growled at the insistent knocking on their door. "Who the bloody hell is it? You had better have a very good reason for knocking on my door this early on my day off, especially when I have a very willing, beautiful, naked woman upstairs in my bed!" She flung the door open, glaring at Claudia. "Well, at least you've learned how to knock. Go make some coffee before I strangle you and I'll wake my beautiful princess." She stopped with a hesitant step. "Let me go get her."
"Hey, no need to be crabby. You're the one that called me. I've been working hard on your behalf. I've got information for you. You can get back to your love nest later." Claudia found the coffee Myka's mother sent home with them starting the second pot of the javaholic's day. "I thought you weren't drinking coffee!" she yelled up the staircase at the closed door.
Myka appeared, still disheveled but mostly dressed. "She's been forced to make exceptions lately."
"I'm not asking."
Helena quickly followed Myka, Oscar close behind.
"Uh, guys…that's a cat." Claudia pointed toward him. "Squeal of delight! He's adorable!"
Looking down at her new shadow, Helena shrugged. "That's Oscar. He lives here now."
"He's so cute!" Claudia exclaimed picking him up, restraining from squeezing him.
"He's not cute. The word I believe you are looking for is handsome."
"Okay, handsome he is." Claudia gave Myka a strange look receiving another shrug as Oscar scrambled out of her arms. "Right. First of all, still no record or any mention of Christina's crate ever arriving here, either with the original shipment or later around the time you asked about. I gave you three years either side of age 5, Myka. But we already know most of HG's personal stuff isn't logged anywhere. I still say it was the Regents. We know they were very clear in pointing that out to you, HG, that there wasn't a record of you being bronzed. It was either omitted on purpose or erased later, yet they all knew you were there. Now, interesting thing about your aunt…Let's see, and I even pestered Mrs. F. and she denies any knowledge and got a little annoyed. Not so really feel good right now, so who knows. There was never an agent by the name of Grace Mika Bering…"
"You were named after your aunt?" Helena spun on her.
"Hmm? Yeah." She took a deep drink of her coffee. "They just changed the spelling for some reason. My understanding is she and dad were actually pretty close at one time."
Claudia snapped her fingers in the air in front of their faces. "Hey. Focus. Can we get back to my being here, please, so I don't get yelled at by Mr. 'Grumpy we're short-handed' for being late? Geez, everyone is so grouchy. So, no one by that name. However, there was another woman here that was friends with someone else that I think you'll find interesting." Claudia pulled out a photo.
"Oh my god, Myka. That's your aunt! Who is that she's standing with, uh…" Helena peered closer at the photo.
"Yeah, I think we know which way the wind blew there, Mykes. Seems curly hair, not the only thing you shared. Anyway, your aunt, as you can, um, obviously see, was with this woman who I haven't gotten a name on yet. I need to dig a little deeper on that, but mention was made of a disappearance in Europe on a mission. I'm willing to bet it was her. No trace. Best guess I can make was around 1985. I'm still digging on that. Artie claims he doesn't recognize her, which is weird, but I think he's telling the truth. I'm almost as good as Steve when it comes to Artie lying."
"Claudia, how easy would it have been 30 years ago to get around security in the warehouse?" Helena asked rubbing the back of her neck, still trying to work her way through the fog of fatigue.
"Well, for someone like me, a snap, but I have 30 years of techno-education to work with too."
"But possible?"
"HG, it's the warehouse. Anything is possible, but I don't think very likely. I can't see anyone getting around Hugo."
"Can we keep this photo?" Myka asked studying the faces.
"I don't see why not. I had to do a lot of manual archive work for that baby. Chocolate chip cookies would be nice." Claudia gave a huge grin handing over the photo. "Might as well stay in the family. Your parents didn't mention anything?"
"Pfft. My parents wouldn't have known. Grace was pretty elusive to them it sounds at that point and I don't ever remember this woman. I'm sure she kept her from them. Thanks, Claud. Got one thing for you though. Hold on."
She ran up the stairs quickly returning with the envelope.
"Read this. It was in that book that never made it here. We found it in my bedroom."
Claudia read through the letter, various forms of expressions crossing her face. "Well, I guess it's fair to say whoever the hottie is, your aunt let her go. My guess is somewhere in Europe based on the said disappearance thing. You guys kind of weird me out sometimes. Even your aunt knew about HG and looks like in the actual who and how way. So, unless you want her haunting you," Claudia pointed at Helena, "you better keep this one here. I don't know about you guys, but I'm tired of all this cryptic crap. What's with the weird math and all these stupid seals? Anyway, I gotta go. Try to see the outside world over the next few days. Ciao!"
"How much coffee does she drink in the morning?" Myka asked staring at the closed door.
Chapter Text
Stumbling out the door in a rush, Claudia came to a sudden stop, nearly falling with the momentum.
"Why are you guys over here eating breakfast? Alone. You have a whole patio." She beamed at the familiar sight she'd missed over the past months. Myka sat on the swing with her coffee eating the Danish she'd stolen sneaking through the empty kitchen to the porch. Crunching into a slice of toast with a poached egg on top and a glass of milk in the other hand, Helena sat across the bench with her feet warming under Myka's thighs. Their new addition sat in Helena's lap, swaying in perfect balance with the motion of the swing, eyeing the egg hopefully.
"It's unseasonably warm, our patio furniture is still in storage, we don't have a porch swing and it's our last day off. We thought we'd miss everyone by now," Myka responded with a silly grin on her face.
"I'm really late. And shut your windows tonight, will ya? We thought you were coming home from your road trip today. New guy got the jump start this morning. Sleeps like a log apparently or was too embarrassed to ask about the wild animals out back."
"New guy? Artie got someone? He never said anything to me," Myka pondered, frowning at having not known this new development.
"Artie likes to drop this sort of thing on us. Besides, you had the week off and took off leaving wiener boy behind with me. He missed you and he's a big time bed hog. I needed to see you guys anyway. That's why I'm late. I was trying to gather stuff up." Claudia peeked in the windows to make sure she was the last one out and scoped out the parking lot. "Okay, good. Steve gets new guy this morning."
"Does new guy have a name?" Helena asked scratching between Oscars ears, making a silly face at him.
"Yeah. Sarah." Claudia watched the scene unfolding in front of her, visibly shivering. "HG, stop doing that. You are really starting to weird me out with that cat." She looked over her shoulder once more, making Myka laugh. "This is the rest of what I could dig up. I've been, uh, grounded you could say, by Mrs. Frederic. I think she knows more than she's saying."
"What?" Myka laughed halfheartedly pushing the swing off with her feet, watching Oscar sway.
"Yeah. Stuck doing inventory with the new guy later until further notice. I call that being grounded. You know how it is when you start digging too deep and the higher ups start getting nervous…ANYway, I did find record of an estate auction in London on June 11, 1983 of an Elspeth Banford. Items listed included some HG Wells first edition books, and a bulk sale crate of various Victorian period children's toys. There is no proof it was Christina's, but the buyer was a Grace M. Bering. I think that says it all right there. Shipping logs marked it for Boston two days later. After that, the trail drops. It's possible your aunt may have been a Regent, not an agent, or her friend was. It would explain why I can't find them. There's not much information on Regents for security reasons because of people like me, hence, I'm grounded. She, or they, would have the authority and ability to get that crate here under the radar without anyone ever knowing. I doubt their relationship was well known considering how much yours seems to fluster everyone in Regent land. I'd like to think the Regents wouldn't have cared, but your aunt and friend may have wanted to prevent the issue?"
Claudia stopped, watching her friends. The swing was at a standstill. The sun crossed Myka's lap, Helena's feet absorbing the heat of the rays now. Myka's hands were frozen, the massage she bestowed upon them suspended. Only the spring birds and Oscar's constant purr could be heard. "You guys aren't going to throw up now are you? 'Cause you're kinda green and you know me and puke…we just don't jive."
"No, go on, Claudia." Helena waved her hand indicating to continue, setting aside her breakfast and watching Oscar jump up on the railing for a bath in the sun.
"If Artie doesn't know them, and I really don't think he does, sounds more like Regent to me. Or they were not active or kept their distance. Who knows? Probably why Myka's family says she spent most of her time traveling. I'm really only making an assumption Madam X was lost on a mission based on a blurb with a lot of missing information on two female associates disappearing in Europe and only one returning. I can't even get a date out of it. If I could get a name or a date I might be able to get something. But it's really hidden; as deep as HG was. At least she was still in case files when we, you know, knew stuff later. For now, I've got a dead trail. Aside from being your aunt's apparent honey, I can't find anything of significance beyond what we got from the letter. Sorry, Mykes."
"No, that's okay, Claud. I understand. She's just a face in a picture I guess and my aunt's warning to me."
"Yeah, about that picture…no one knows about it, so I'd keep it to yourselves if you know what I mean."
Myka nodded, chuckling softy. "Gotcha. Don't want you grounded on my account again. Sorry 'bout that."
"It's okay. Not the first time and I'm sure it won't be the last. I really don't think there's anything else at least not until I'm not grounded anymore." She scratched Oscars chin. "Well, enjoy the day. At least it's finally nice out. Yea! I'm stuck inside doing inventory and whatever else Artie has up his sleeves." She started to head out and stopped on the steps, the swing moving again and Myka's hands playing with Helena's feet. "I just had an idea. Could I get a copy of that letter?"
"I thought you were grounded, but sure. What's your idea?"
"Not sure if it's an idea so much, but that letter pretty much says, to me, she knew about you and HG."
Helena pulled her knees up and her feet away from Myka. Myka turned her head to the side. Helena had blanched. "Yeah, we know. I'll give it to you tomorrow morning."
"Mmmm. How did we get so lucky with this day?" Helena asked lying down on the blanket, bending her head back, facing into the sun trying to catch the maximum effect of the long forgotten rays. "To think we lived through a snow storm not too many days ago."
"I'm not complaining." A muffled voice said from between the arms Myka used as a pillow for her forehead. She rolled over, taking Helena's hand. "How serious do you want to get today?"
"Myka, it's a beautiful, sunny, warm spring day. You want to risk ruining it with serious conversation? We already agreed no more Grace talk."
"It's not that kind of serious. I've just had some things on my mind that I want to clear before one of us gets whisked off again and I forget until you're dashing out the door, that's all." She rolled over onto her side, scooting over next to Helena, placing soft kisses up her stretched neck, ending with a deep kiss, pushing her into the soft blanket.
"Mmmm." Eyes closed, Helena caressed the face she knew watched her. "Now that kind of serious I'll not say no to, but I think this is an evil form of bribery." She opened her eyes.
"Not really," Myka admitted. "You're posing in a very seductive manner. I really wanted to kiss you."
"Everyone's away or busy. Seduction was a large part of my plan when I suggested this picnic." Helena slid her hand under the back of Myka's shirt stroking the sun warmed skin of her back.
"Mmmm. Not a bad idea, but…" Myka sat up on her knees.
Helena imitated her shaking her hair out and crossing her legs in front of Myka. "Alright, out with it. What's on your mind?"
"It kind of has to do with this clearing," Myka said uneasily.
"Alright." A head nod.
"I won't tell you what you can and can't do and have no intention of ever doing so. Part of what I want to say I know we talked about and came to an agreement about. However, since then, for me at least, my feelings have changed a little. Well, maybe a lot."
"And what would that be in reference to." Helena cocked her head the side slightly, focusing her attention on Myka.
"It has to do with Steve. I love that you two have your thing, and I even admit I irrationally get jealous…"
"There is nothing for you to be jealous of. It's probably no different than you and Pete."
"I know - and it is a lot different. Pete and I don't meet in any special spot like you two have. It doesn't mean I still don't feel jealous sometimes and I push it aside. I never want you two to lose that." She stopped, clearing her throat. Helena sat calmly listening. "I'm not so comfortable with you two in this clearing together au naturel. I'm sorry. I know there's nothing to it, and it means nothing to you, and I don't think I'm being prudish 'cause on some level I don't care, but on another level I really don't like sharing that part of you. I've started thinking of that as a gift we give to each other. If we were on a beach or something, but just Steve..."
Laughing, Helena wrapped her arms around Myka's neck and kissed her, saying against her lips, "Yes. It will from this moment forward be my gift to you and you alone. I can still come here alone? Or you could join me."
"That's it? No argument?" Myka backed slightly, arms still around her neck.
Helena shook her head, smiling softly. "None at all. I understand why you'd be uncomfortable and rather like your idea of gifting. We'll come up with some sort of system. A tie on a stick or something. That is the universally accepted cue, yes?"
"Actually, a tie usually says, 'I'm having sex'."
Her smile widened as she released Myka's neck, finger playing with the collar of her shirt. "Ah. Well, that could come in handy. Why do I think there is something else to all of this besides sunbathing nude?"
"'Cause there is. It's a little trickier. I'd feel better if you didn't sleep together on missions…"
"But, Myka…" Her face fell, starting to panic.
"Hear me out," Myka said quickly. "I know there's nothing to it except your nightmares and yes, the three of us discussed this at length, but maybe you can get adjoining rooms instead. He's still right there if you need him, but you're still in your own bed, sleeping alone. Can we at least try it?"
"Myka, I don't…" Helena starting shaking her head getting distressed.
"How would you feel if I spent the night with Pete? Which I want you to know, I did do my first night back after I had a nightmare about your surgery. But it's the only time."
Helena sat back rubbing her forehead. She sighed and looked up at Myka. "Okay," she said reluctantly.
"Okay? Really?" Myka burst out. She wasn't sure why she was so surprised but she was ecstatically surprised, which surprised her even more. Apparently it bothered her more than she thought. Damn it, Claudia was right.
"Yes. But, we leave the doors open a crack."
"Yeah, absolutely okay with that. It's the sleeping with each other I think that bothers me. I'm not trying to be possessive and I know there is absolutely nothing…"
"I understand, Myka," Helena interrupted, placing a hand on the woman's arm. "I don't like the thought of sharing you so much anymore either. I miss Atlanta sometimes. This has been a fabulous week. We need to find a way to have more time like this together. Hopefully, this new recruit will help."
Myka lay back on the blanket on her back, pulling Helena down into her arms. "Why are we here and not under the maple? We always have our picnics there."
She ran a hand under Myka's shirt setting it comfortably between her breasts. "It's more secluded. Part of that seduction plan. I suppose you could say I was hoping you packed a tie." She bounced against Myka's laughing body. "Myka?"
"Helena?"
"Something is changing in me."
"So you've said. Finally ready to explain that, huh? I was beginning to wonder how much more time I was going to need to give you with that one before I asked. Must be a tough one. Throw it at me."
"I'm not sure I'm going to be able to explain. I can sense things I never have before and I don't mean just with you. That is something entirely you. I still cannot, and will not, say that what I feel within that ever looming storm of ours, is valid. I know I desperately want to feel something there."
"Christina."
"Yes. I can't even describe what I'm feeling, but it is growing. I felt it in Oswego."
"Tell me what happened."
"Steve didn't sense anything. The lighthouse is supposed to be haunted. In December, 1942 six Coast Guardsmen died during a storm. The caretaker had been stranded. When a small break offered an opportunity Lieutenant Wilson made an attempt at the rescue. They made the switch but lost six men, he included, on the return. Their boat capsized. Myka, I could feel them. They are there. He carries great guilt in making that decision. It was not his fault. He needs to forgive himself."
She was held tightly as Myka pulled her in a tighter hold, quiet. The sun warmed the chill she felt away. In silence they remained until Myka finally spoke.
"Huh. Must be what Claudia is getting from you and not me. It's not the first time this has happened to you, is it?" Myka asked softly.
Helena shook her head against Myka's shoulder. "No. Since we reconnected. That white house with the porch on the way to Univille and more than once in Philadelphia. That's why I was so unsettled. But they seemed passing oddities so I brushed them off. It's getting stronger. It wasn't until the Oswego trip I knew for sure. You believe me, don't you?"
"Of course I do! Helena, you're telling someone who is so connected to you I found you in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. I knew where you were. Steve and Pete, everyone, was counting on that." They sat in silence again listening to the birds and the fresh budding branches rub against each other in the slight wind. She chuckled. "We have our own ghost hunter. That's why you believe my aunt actually talked to your Bridgett."
"Yes."
"It's getting stronger between us, isn't it?"
"Yes, Myka, it is. I still can't feel you all the time, but there are times that I wish I could. It sometimes overloads me. Your mother has it to a certain degree. Did you know that? I don't think it's the same and I'm sure you're aunt had some form of precognition. She was referring to me as your time machine."
"So that's what my mother meant. I knew her words were too perfect." Myka pulled Helena's hand from her shirt and held it as she rolled Helena over, holding it above her head. Adjusting her weight, she examined her closely. "Does it bother you that it's getting stronger?"
"I'm not bothered so much as uncertain. It may only be temporary or just the beginning of something new for us. I know we'll adjust. We adjusted to losing it. However difficult it was for us, we did adjust. The easy part is knowing it will change so we won't worry about it so much." With her free hand she stroked Myka's face. "We'll never know for sure, but I suspect part of the reason it came back so much stronger is because we did find each other without it."
"That letter was to both of us." Myka closed her eyes leaning into the touch.
"Yes, I know. Our future is through the past. I'm the past and the teddy bear was no coincidence." She watched Myka sit up pulling her shirt off and removing her bra then started on the front of Helena's shirt. Reaching up Helena passed the backs of her fingers across Myka's breasts. "Do those fingers of yours always undo my shirt buttons this slowly?" She made another pass and raked her nails along Myka's sides.
"I have two words for you - slow simmer."
Two weeks passed quickly with little quality time together. Helena and Sarah had taken an instant dislike to each other which created friction at home despite their efforts to leave it outside the door. Artie made it Myka's job to work on the interpersonal issues as required by the new position to test her and was getting anxious for a final answer. Mrs. Frederic had made it very clear to him he was not to rush her in this decision. It was not one to be taken lightly and unlike Myka, he didn't have the hurricane force of HG Wells in his life when he took the position.
Helena came back late last night after three days out with Steve. Myka was forced to defy Artie and told him after an exceptionally long night that she had other things that required attention after lunch. Pete received a bruising punch on her way out the door after his comment regarding her sleepless night.
The door slammed behind her, shutting out some of the noise from the remodeling of the last cottage for Vanessa and Artie. She called from the door expecting Helena to be in the kitchen.
"I'm right here. Lunch time already?" She poked her head out of the office. "I'm trying to sort through this mess of mine now that they brought my work table over. It should help prevent our overflow issue into your space. Still raining I see."
"Pouring. Look, can you leave that for now? We need to talk."
"If this about that blonde…" she started down the stairs, pointing a threatening finger at Myka.
"Helena, don't. Not here. And it's not. This is more important and I'm just as much at fault." Myka fell into the sofa and pointed at the chair. "Sit please."
"Now what did I do? Rarely does it bode well for me when you sit me in this chair." She dropped down into the waiting stuffed arm chair, her arms resting on either side.
"You didn't do anything. It's you and I that haven't done anything. We keep pushing it away and I'm done."
She looked at Myka confused. "I'm sorry, darling, but I'm not really following."
"What have we always avoided? How long did you plan on not saying anything?"
Helena's eyes widened and she breathed out a big sigh. "Oh." She paused. "I didn't really have a plan. I wasn't sure we were ready to broach that subject. Please don't be mad. How did you know?" she asked quietly.
"I'm not mad. I've suspected for a long time now. I just chicken out bringing it up and keep hoping you'll finally say something. One cup of tea in the morning, no brandy, spinach…I could go on, but I think I've made my point. And really, Helena, milk? We need to buy a cow! I found this," she threw the small book on the table, "in your bag when I dug through it for your laundry this morning. I figured I was already late, so I might as well get your clothes into the wash. You are very detailed with your journals."
"So that's where it was this morning. I see. Well, Vanessa did warn me you'd catch on easily and I've ignored that obvious fact. I know you too well."
"So for how long now?"
"Essentially since the surgery. I told you, you gave me a lot to think about in Tenerife and Vanessa was available. I asked her to perform any necessary tests she thought pertinent and we discussed the possibility at length. There are a few concerns, but she's fairly confident there is no reason for me not to have another child, pending further discussion and possible referral if we wish to pursue. I was honest when I said I wanted to educate myself before we started any formal discussions. I saw no reason to put off any preparations if that was the direction we decided to go and it certainly was not going to harm me. The whole process has been very educational actually, so it certainly has been far from being a waste. She's chastised me often for not talking to you first."
"I know the feeling." Myka smiled faintly, staring at the book on the table. She leaned forward on her knees facing Helena. "She told you it was a stupid ass idea too, didn't she?"
"Sorry?" Helena asked confused.
Myka reached into her back pocket throwing another book on the table. "Apparently, we've had similar stupid ass ideas. I just joined your diet changes because it was easier and I figured it wouldn't hurt me either. I just haven't been as strict."
"Oh, poor Vanessa." Helena started laughing, leaning back in her chair holding her stomach. "No wonder she's been so frustrated and utterly obnoxious at times. She must want to throw us in a room and lock the door behind her. What we put that woman through."
"Yeah. She was pretty forward the last time I spoke to her, and so was my mom." Myka got up and sat across the chair in Helena's lap, wrapping an arm around her neck. "So now what?"
"Well, if you are asking me if I'm certain about bringing a child into our lives, the answer is still no. I'm sorry, Myka. I'm just not ready and I still have doubts about bringing a child into this life, here, with the warehouse. That has always been a primary concern of ours."
"Then why have you been so…diligent with that journal, and everything else you've done? Your actions contradict your words. The evidence sitting on that table, and in our kitchen, tells me it's time we at least sat down with Vanessa and you're ready to do this."
"Not quite. You didn't look too closely at that journal. I'd say another five days."
"Oh, your funny. Ha, ha. You're avoiding."
"Aside from the fact that there are a lot of details to consider, primarily attaining that ever important component called sperm, I'm not ready to stop going on missions. Vanessa was adamant with the Regents about pregnant agents not doing field work, with very valid reasons. You know we were the impetus behind that. Initially, I was no longer interested in field work, then, everyone decided that was where they wanted me and threw me into the pot. Guess what? They were right. I love it. Have you any idea how long a pregnancy would pull one out of the field? It's not just nine months, Myka. It's also the time following. I remember. I've done it once before and there were no grande edicts at the time."
"I've done the whole pre-pregnancy crap too. Who said I shouldn't be the biological mother? Just because you can doesn't mean I don't want to. I'm reminded almost daily you've already done that."
Helena stood up abruptly, dumping Myka on the floor. "Yes. I had the chance to be a mother, didn't I? Wasn't actually by choice and not really sure who the father was, so we can consider that screw up number one, but I was indeed a mother once. As it was, I royally fucked that up as well." She headed straight for the door. "Thank you for reminding me of that ever present memory."
She was gone before Myka was even able to get herself off the floor. She picked up the two books, screaming as she threw them across the room. She fell back into the chair dropping her head in her hands. "This is why we shouldn't have children. We can't even talk about having them."
She slumped back in the chair. Oscar slunk across the room from his hiding spot away from the raised voices and jumped in her lap. Absently, she started petting him and picked up the only other photo Helena kept from the crate sitting on the table beside her.
"Christina, sometimes, rarely even, I wish you were never born. I thought we were moving forward. Your mother is a stubborn ass. She's scared and confused, and she can't forgive herself for something that wasn't even her fault."
She placed the photo face down on the table. Oscar licked the tears sliding down her cheek with a rough tongue. She scratched his ear.
"I just wish she'd forgive herself."
"Where is she?" Myka demanded coming out of the umbilicus carrying Helena's raincoat in her hand.
"Uh, who?" Claudia stared at the computer screen, hands pausing for a fraction of time, but enough for Myka to notice.
"The Bloody Queen of England! Who do you think? She hasn't returned any calls or texts, and I can't find or feel her, except I've magically traced the car here."
Claudia spun around in her chair, an expression of faux deep thought, tapping her finger on her chin. "Well, depending on whom you ask and what kind of mood he or she is in, especially Sarah, the queen part could be a point of argument, I think."
"Claudia, do you know where she is or not? She walked out on me - again."
"Think you'd be used to that by now, Mykes. It's what she does. Just accept it and move on. She said she wasn't here."
"Is that so? So, when Artie thought you were here running all those diagnostics last week, and we all said you were here and not out playing pool with a certain someone at the local dive, you wouldn't care if he found out where you really were, right?"
Claudia's eyes widened and the spinning chair stopped dead with a squeak. "Erk. She's in storage. She said she needed to think. Don't tell her I told you. Please?" Myka was already out the door, the door half shut. "Be careful when you walk in!" The door was closed. Claudia shrugged, slouching back in the chair getting back to her work talking to the plastic ladybug sitting on top of the screen. "Whatever. She's your wife, you should know these things by now."
Opening the door, Myka was nearly thrown back by the loud, raucous noise that hit her. She cringed on her way to the small stereo Claudia had snuck into the room for her alone time.
"What the hell are you listening to?" she yelled over the noise before she was able to turn it off.
"I was thinking," Helena snapped at her.
"To that? Since when? One of Claudia's ideas?"
"It's actually rather cathartic in its own way. What are you doing here?" she asked sullenly.
"Gee, I don't know. Looking for you? One of these days I'm going to make you chase me down. We're not done with this conversation yet," Myka said taking two cold hands in her own, rubbing them. "We can't be. This is why we never get anywhere."
"What more is there to say?" Helena slid down the side of the cold wall.
"A lot. That's why we always end up like this. A little ironic we ended up in here, isn't it? We need to see this through. We started a conversation a while ago and never went back to it. Today is the day."
Sliding down the wall beside her, Myka leaned on her raised knees. "This is the way I see it. A long time ago, Claudia planted a little seed in our heads. It scared the crap out of both of us when she said that and yeah, my first reaction was fuck no. I wasn't ready to share you yet. We'd barely learned to live with each other yet. We're still learning if you ask me and probably always will be. I think that's how the whole relationship thing works. Anyway, you were staring at the ceiling the next morning. This weird freaky thing, whatever it is, grew too. Then, I almost lost you, permanently. We went through hell trying to remain sane dragging through the aftermath. Quebec is going to stay with us for the rest of our lives. Helena, my stomach still drops when I watch you walk out that door and I'm the one they expect to send you. We left, thinking we were safe, and we almost lost each other. Not sure how much more we are supposed to take, but I know we can do it together. We've made it this far, and I promised you I wasn't going to let go of you."
Myka took a still cold hand in hers, holding it tightly. Staring at the ceiling she took a courage seeking breath. "I know your nightmares, but I do not live them. I can't even begin to imagine what it is like to live your nightmares over and over. I only know mine. All I can do is help you come back from wherever they are pulling you. I never anticipated this single question in our lives to ever be a simple or quick one. Truthfully, I never thought it would ever even be a question in my life. It doesn't matter if we decide today, tomorrow, next month or three years from now. Yes, I would love to bring a child into our lives, and yeah, it's a little surprising even to me. But that's how I feel. Maybe artifact pseudo-pregnancy left a little behind. That doesn't matter. It's YOU I want to share that journey with.
"I think you're wondering 'what if' and 'maybe.' Why else would you even explore the possibility? It doesn't mean yes or no. Maybe artifacts are our life. It would be complicated, but we've figured out a lot of complicated, and the powers that be have given us options. I understand being uncertain. I am too. But despite it, I like the idea of a mini-you hanging onto my leg."
Helena held up a finger. "I don't know that uncertain is the correct word. I'm conflicted, Myka. Tell me, if my answer is no, can you accept that?"
"Are you asking me if I'm going to choose between you and a child?" Myka asked taken aback. She curled an arm around Helena, pulling her into her warmth. "Sweetie, I've always known this would be one of our biggest obstacles. How could it not be? I just always thought it would be me. This is not a matter of A or B for me. That's what I keep trying to tell you and I'm obviously doing a crappy job at it. Listen to me. I love you. Yes, I want to have a child, but because I want to share that with you, if that's even what is meant for us. Let's face it, it doesn't matter how much we may want to have that kid, it doesn't mean it's going to happen no matter how hard we try. Just tell me how you feel. That's all I ask. I really am listening."
"Oh, Myka, it's not that simple. You want a child, as do I. But I don't know that I can do that again. I know the joy of having a child, and, oh, to experience that again. I truly loved being a mother. I want you to have that too, if that is what you want, but I'm scared. You think it's because I'm looking for Christina. It's not. I loved her with everything I had and never thought I could possibly have that again until I met you. She remains in my heart and always will, but aside from that she is gradually becoming memories packed in a crate. And they are becoming good memories, but nonetheless, memories. I am scared I will constantly be too afraid of losing that child to be able to enjoy its life. Having a child is about life, not loss. But another part of me so much wants to have a child, by my own choosing no less, and enjoy its life with someone I love. I didn't have that before."
"I can't pretend to even begin to know what it was like for you to lose her and I never will. I know it's not the same, but I do know what it's like to almost lose the one person that means more to me than anything else in this world."
"Yes, you do, don't you?" Helena leaned deeper into Myka's warmth, the chill of the room seeping through her body. "We've always questioned and doubted bringing a child into this environment. Is this where we want to raise our children? It was a completely different situation when we left here."
"And look what happened when we left?" Myka laughed bitterly. "We almost fell apart, ended up running and hiding, I don't even want to think beyond that! Maybe we've been looking at this all backwards, Helena. We keep saying this isn't the right environment or situation to raise a child in; it's too dangerous, are we home enough, can we provide the consistency, there's the warehouse to contend with, loose artifacts…Pete's influence." They laughed. "But realistically our child would never be alone. Can you think of a more loving, protective and caring family to raise a child in? Think about it, Helena. All this time we've worried about it being alone when in reality the poor child is going to beg us to be left alone. Seems like a good excuse to build a tree house and I'm pretty sure I know where there is a good tree for one. If it takes a village…we've got an awesome one."
"And what makes you think anyone else here feels our children should be part of their village? There are a lot of things to consider, Myka. It's not just a matter of trying to get pregnant, which in itself holds its own complications. We present enough of Artie's complications without throwing children into the mix."
"I know Artie spoke to you about the family thing," Myka said slowly. Helena remained sullen. "Helena, what did Artie say? And why do you keep saying children?"
"Nothing more than I'm sure he said to you. Regents have concerns, setting precedents, blah, blah, blah. Two women, no field work…we both love being out there, Myka. It's not as if we have the option at a critical moment to stop and say, 'sorry, leaking here, must pump', which I still find to be a very odd concept. One of us is left to the warehouse for a very long time. I'm not sure I can do that."
"I'm willing to give it up. Did he mention my being the new him gave us options? What do you think he was trying to tell you? As far as I'm concerned, none of this is the Regents' business. This is our decision and ours alone."
"And if something happens to one of us, or both of us? What then? Warehouse agents don't have the best run on a long life. Rebecca is the only one I know of that died outside of the warehouse, and even that is somewhat questionable, and she left this madness. I've already died twice. Your aunt is still questionable. It's left with one parent, waiting for the inevitable."
"Like I said, there would be things to figure out. Every parent has. You already know that. Look what you did to keep your daughter and from the few stories you've shared with me she sounded pretty happy."
"And look how that ended up! If I wasn't an artifact whore, she wouldn't have been there. She may never have been born, actually. Having a child was never an endeavor of mine."
"Huh?" Myka turned her head, screwing her face up. "Explain that one."
"After all of our educational endeavors, mostly mine, I suspect that the lovely Mr. Beauchamp was less likely to be the bona fide begetter. At one point I found myself excessively needy, shall we say, during an investigation and far less diligent than usual in preventative measures while satisfying my own desires. It's highly possible my body was most receptive at the time."
"Uh-huh. Gotcha. Not necessarily though." Helena rolled her head towards Myka, visually expressing her doubt. "May I ask?"
"About candidate number two?"
Myka nodded shyly.
"I said I would tell you anything you wanted to know. We were in Yorkshire looking for a cricket bat. August 1890. You do the math. We had three days to accomplish the task. Please do not judge me too harshly." She laughed bitterly. "How horrid this makes me sound. So, I had two nights with a cricketer. He was one of the Yorkshire men. Quite handsome actually and surprisingly willing to accept…suggestions. I was so careless in the whole affair. I don't even remember his name, though I do know where that artifact is placed. Now do you understand why I've always been hasty to accept Robert as her father? On our return, I met with Robert later. He at least I was fond of and was not a weekend fling. He was more of an ongoing distraction. I just couldn't find it in myself to love him."
"But you'll never know and it doesn't matter. You still loved her." Myka smiled at her touching her chin. "And I still love you.
"And as far as that village is concerned, did you ever wonder why the cottage was remodeled the way it was? Why we suddenly don't have a loft but a walled bedroom…with a door…that locks? Not to mention another full bath and an unfinished bedroom which we just store stuff in."
"Claudia." Helena sighed when Myka rolled her eyes. "I assumed it was because our needs changed. They want you to be the new Artie, but you are more pleasing to the eye. It was becoming a bit constricted for a full time home. We no longer spend the majority of our spare time at the house as we once did and, as now, only do so on the occasions we are all home. As far as the bedroom is concerned I thought it was to keep Claudia from barging in on us all the time at the most inopportune times. Honestly, what is it with her timing?"
"So we just needed three bedrooms and the office and a second bathroom upstairs?" Myka asked, closing her eyes and shaking her head in disbelief. "You and I don't really need THAT much room."
"I'm the last person to ask about acceptable housing sizes for couples, darling. How would I know? Everything is so much bigger. Vanessa and Artie are getting the other larger home."
"Sweetie, it was their subtle way of giving us their blessing. They helped with the redesign. We'd already told Claudia the thought had crossed our mind and she's wanted to be an aunt since the morning you refused to leave my bedroom, dumped all your laundry on my bed and made her help you bring in your dresser before I got home. So, of course, Pete and Steve knew."
She bit her lip and took a deep breath. "Something else you need to know. Pete told me something I haven't really had a chance to share with you. I think it was one of his vibe things when he told me. Both he and Steve went to Vanessa offering that ever important sperm. Hold on!" She felt her stiffen. "They actually talked about it and did this on their own a long time ago, before any of this came up. They don't know this discussion is going on between us. Only Vanessa does. It's an option. You want to know who the father is. The way Pete presented it to me, in his lovingly awkward Pete way, is that no grudges will be held against the other or us if we decided to go the anonymous donor, I know my preference but I said I respect and understand your need to know who the father is.
"Helena, please look at me. They don't expect anything. No one does. They just want us to have the opportunity if we decide that we want to bring a child into our family. No one thinks this is an easy decision for either of us, especially you."
"Oh, so it all rests on my shoulders." Helena stood up starting to pace.
Myka quickly jumped up and blocked her path. "Helena, no, it doesn't. I know you feel like it does, but it's not all on you. We go into this together. We decide together, we make it together - well, with a lot of help – we raise it together. If it's not right for you, then it's not right for me. I don't need a child to be happy. It's not a requirement to live a full life with you. It's just a different path. Loving you is what made me want to have a child. I love you. That's not going to change if you don't want to do this. It's not all on your shoulders. We make the decisions. Maybe that's why I'm not supposed to have that ring back. To be honest, causing you this much distress is enough for me to say no. I say throw out those stupid little books, start drinking coffee and brandy laced milk again and let's live our lives as fully as I know we can. I'm happier with that then watching you like this. You are my priority, Helena.
"Remember when I asked you what you wanted your future, our future to be? I'll tell you what I want, knowing things never turn out exactly the way you want them to. I want to be as happy as I can possibly be for as long as I can be with you, here, in a place we belong, are connected to in some weird way, surrounded by a wonderfully bizarre, dysfunctional family that takes care of each other, laughs together, fights together, annoys each other, walks in on us at the most inappropriate and embarrassing times, and also phenomenally loving and rewarding, doing something we love. I would love to raise a child, maybe two, to be just as loving and quirky as their mothers and family that represent the best a human being can possibly be. I want to be able to share my free time with you and my kid playing, laughing and arguing, and we know it'll get that gene in a big way. And in this perfect future I want our nightmares to go away. Oh, yeah, and continue to have that phenomenal sex with you for the rest of our lives. So far, that last one is working out pretty well. Even when it doesn't always work out quite right I absolutely love falling asleep with you."
"Why, Ms. Bering, who knew you were so amorously inclined." Helena grinned hugging her from behind. "That's always been my accused primary function in life."
"Well I was the last find out. I had a great coach." She turned around in her arms receiving a playful kiss.
"And she pledges upon her life to commit herself to seeing that part of your dream comes true. It is, after all, only to her advantage." She smiled against Myka's lips, backing her up towards the door.
"Hold on there, Champ." Myka disengaged the arms around her, holding her hands. "Not so fast. You know my hypothetical future, but I don't know yours. It's too tied up with Christina. I know that. But you need to think beyond today. What do you want to do from here?"
A defeated sigh escaped Helena's body as she let loose of Myka's hands, leaning back against the side of the container. "Ooohh, I don't know, Myka. We have more to think through. I suppose the logical course of action is to meet with Vanessa together. It's only going to educate us more and give us a clearer picture. I see no reason to alter what we are doing as it is doing no harm. I'm not going to force you to eat kale and I'll still have an occasional glass of wine for the time being. If perchance we decide to go forward, and I do repeat IF, as there is much to discuss, and Vanessa agrees it is still feasible, with considerations of age, I would like to try first."
Visibly surprised, Myka stepped back. Relaxing, she surrounded a very uncertain Helena in her arms. "Baby steps. Let's cross that bridge if we even get to it"
"I'm not getting any younger, you know."
"Neither am I."
"Well, I'm getting there ahead of you," Helena complained into Myka's armpit.
"You'd still be a mother." She felt the nod of a head before letting the woman go. "Want to go for a walk?"
"It's raining!"
"I know." She shoved the raincoat she'd brought at her. "Then I thought stir fry for dinner, followed by a glass of wine and we could finish book three with a certain cat of yours looking over our shoulders."
"Are you reading or am I?" Helena asked stumbling out the door.
"It's my turn, why?" Myka took her hand, shutting the door behind them.
"Good. You do a better Professor McGonagall."
Chapter Text
The door was squeaking when it opened now. Myka hadn't mentioned anything. She frowned at it, shutting it quietly and making a mental note to fix it tomorrow. Dropping her coat over a chair, she turned, looking up the stairs before the light at the top came on. Sometimes she really missed the loft. Oscar scurried down the stairs in greeting as she dropped her bag unceremoniously at the foot of the stairs. No reason to take laundry upstairs just to carry it down tomorrow and it was in sore need of reorganization. Squatting down, she scratched the top of the soft head getting rewarded with an enthusiastic purr as Oscar rubbed his full body around her legs. A smile took over her face when she looked up into the green eyes staring back at her from above. Slowly standing up, her knee popped.
"It wasn't supposed to be five days," Myka said. "We never thought you'd end up in Geneva."
"One never anticipates an easy snag to end up in Geneva. As Artie says, we know the easy ones all end up going to hell anyway." Helena slowly dragged her feet up the stairs. "We did manage to bring home chocolates. Steve may have eaten most of them on the plane, though." At the top of the stairs she entered the waiting arms, resting her forehead on the strong shoulder. "Mmm. I have sorely missed this. You smell magnificent. I hid your chocolates."
"I don't eat chocolate." Fighting the urge to rock the woman in her arms, Myka held on tightly. "We've missed you. You weren't supposed to be home until tomorrow."
"Aaah, but you knew otherwise, didn't you? You've been waiting for me. And we'll all keep pretending you don't eat chocolate, shall we?" Helena leaned back looking into a happy face. "We were anxious for our own beds, so we decided to forgo the anticipated overnight and alternated driving the last lag. I am so very tired."
"Claudia will be mad if he ate all the chocolates." Myka took a cold hand in her own, guiding her into the bedroom, shutting the door on the surprised cat. "I'm not sharing tonight." She sat her partner on the end of the bed. Kneeling before her, she pulled the rumpled shirt out of Helena's black pants slowly unbuttoning it from the bottom, laying a soft kiss on bare skin with each release.
With the last button undone and the shirt shrugged off, Helena fell backwards, closing her eyes with a breathy sigh. Warm lips teased her own. She shivered as blunt nails scraped her sides softly. The front clasp of her bra broke free. "I think I'm becoming rather partial to the undressing part," she murmured into the opening mouth above hers, digging her fingers in the hair falling around them.
"I thought you were tired," Myka's quiet laughter tickled Helena's neck.
"You seem to be waking me up, amongst other things," she said when Myka's hands became busy with a stubborn belt.
"Oh really? We need to buy you a new belt. I'm tired of this one always getting…" Myka gave it an extra tug, lifting Helena off the bed with a laugh, "stuck."
"Mmm. I am convinced the best part of these trips is the coming home part."
Coming out of the bathroom in her towel she stopped short at the doorway, greeted by a sight she had never seen. Quietly, she picked up her phone from her night stand, debating the propriety for a moment and took a picture anyway, ignoring the sordidness filling her gut. It was the only proof she'd have later and Helena would never believe her without it. She was used to Helena taking over the bed in the most impressive ways possible which included hugging as many of her pillows as possible and in even more impressive twisted positions. After so many complaints and arguments, this was the first time she had ever come out after a shower to find her sleeping on the left side.
That was as much of a look as Myka planned on taking, quickly turning to her dresser to grab her clothes. Despite herself her eyes kept wandering back to the bed. Helena wasn't just on the left side and she knew she'd be deleting that photo as soon as possible, keeping her phone close to her today away from free grabbing hands. She was getting a very clear view of a bare breast staring at her in the face. Helena had rolled slightly on her back, her right arm stretched out above her head buried in the pillows she'd surrounded herself with.
Oh my god, she thought to herself thinking her shower had just gone to waste as her stomach dropped at the thought of what that breast tasted like. I'm worse than a 16 year old boy, except I know what it tastes like. She swallowed past the lump in her throat, trying to focus on the open drawer of the dresser and batting Oscar out of the drawer, her eyes wandering once more. She straightened, openly staring, thoughts of the evening running through her head. "We really are turning into bonking bunnies," she grumbled under her breath at the cat watching her intently.
A small, teasing smile fell across Helena's face as she stretched, her eyes opening slowly. "I can hear you and I know what you are thinking."
She turned away quickly, avoiding the temptation staring at her face. Her shaking hands reached in the drawer for clothing. "As much as I so want to play with…that, and I really, really want to, I don't have the day off and Artie said he wanted me there early. I'm supposed to be the adult left in charge when he's away, remember?"
"Then I suggest you stop standing there acting like an adolescent boy and be the ever so demanding, very hot-blooded, beautiful and indubitably adult woman I love so very much and do something about this." She kicked the covers off, pulling her knees up and wantonly letting them fall open. Myka's mouth dropped open. "I promise you, in my present state, you need not be late."
Myka dropped the clothes and crawled up the end of the bed. "I am so going to be late."
"Why are you here? You have the day off and assume you've caused enough distractions this morning," Artie said grumpily at her, spinning back to the screen in front of him.
"I admit, it was my fault she was late. I can be very…persuasive when I want to be. I'm here to apologize," Helena said as humbly as possible. She draped her coat over a chair pulling a small box out of the inner pocket. She did actually feel guilty for Myka's tardiness. Myka was never late until she had interrupted her strictly ordered life.
"I don't want the details," he grumbled, glaring over his shoulder. "I hate when you have that smug…glow. Both of you, but especially you. I told her and I'm telling you, please refrain from these…complications! Grow up and show a little responsibility. I had plans for her this morning."
"As did I it appears." She cleared her throat, continuing with a serious voice. "Sorry to say, Artie, I won. Chocolate?" She smiled shamelessly, holding the box out like a consolation prize. Artie dropped his head in his hand holding the other up to stop her. "Artie, it was five days! You can't possibly expect…Oh, I see. The lovely Doctor Vanessa had to change her plans, didn't she? See, you do understand. My plans were thwarted as well. My morning was rather uncomfortably short-lived." She watched him with smug amusement, enjoying his discomfort, his face burning. "No wonder you're so cranky, or rather more so than usual, you cantankerous, old fart. One can only manage so much, eh, Artie? I do believe you owe us an apology."
"An apology? For what? And, yes, I can expect professional behavior and control of your own excessive…five days is not that long. You are a bad influence!" He grabbed the box still in her hand. "Give me those."
"Far from excessive, Artie. Incredibly healthy in my opinion, considering..."
"STOP! Stop right there. I don't want to know. We all know where your mind spends a great deal of its time."
"Tut, tut, tut. That is a past long gone." She leaned back against the desk. "My mind has spent a great deal of time in numerous places. However, as to the area I believe you are referring to, considering our present conversation, it is well focused upon one very specific person. You, my friend, now understand the frustrations associated with those long absences, and I comment not merely on one's carnal desires. Aah, the fair Vanessa," she almost sang looking off into the distance, a dazed expression accompanying her smile. She leaned back, whispering close to his ear. "Honestly, Artie, if circumstances had been different, I'd have given her a go myself," she teased.
"That is my fiancée you are talking about! She's old enough to be your mother!" Artie started getting flustered, moving stacks of papers aimlessly around the desk.
"If you are a wise man, I recommend you do not tell her that. Regardless, age has never been a factor for me. She is a very attractive, engaging woman and wonderful company when NOT engaged in a professional examination of me. However, you do not need me to tell you that. My first female lover was 20 years my senior, and a thoroughly enlightening experience that was, and very much to Myka's benefit as much as my own."
"Why are you doing this to me?" he whined, dropping his forehead into his hand, groaning.
"You've kept me very busy and far away. It's been a long time since I've been able to torture you properly." She shook his shoulders.
"You've tortured me every day you've existed," he complained, a smile tugging the corner of his mouth.
"We thrive on it and I promise not to tell anyone how much you enjoy our little verbal engagements." She beamed at him arrogantly before her face turned serious and uncertain. "Actually, on a more serious note, I did come to ask you something of a rather personal nature, if you are agreeable. Myka's off doing inventory?"
"Punishment. I should do the same to you, but I only know what that would lead to." He sighed in defeat.
"And Claudia?" She looked around, curious now at the relative calmness in the room.
"On an errand." He looked at his watch and then out into the warehouse, assured Myka would be properly distracted for the moment. At least it kept them apart a little longer. "Fine. What do you want?" he asked getting up and moving into the back room shutting the door behind them. "Coffee?" he asked, pouring himself a cup.
"No, thank you. You know I'm cutting back on the caffeine. Myka actually gets to drink her morning coffee now." She rolled her eyes, leaning back against the counter when he looked at her surprised. "Why is everyone still so shocked? Your fiancée's recommendations, if you recall. Now, may we get on with this so I might go lick my wounds that much sooner?"
He stepped back leaning against the counter across from her, concern crossing his face. "Okay. What is so important that you're coming to me of all people?"
She looked up at the ceiling, sighing. She looked directly at him and asked, "Why did you ask Vanessa to marry you?"
He actually came close to spitting out the coffee he just drank and swallowed, holding back a coughing fit. She was serious. If she hadn't been looking at him so intently, he would have told her to shove off.
"Huh," he grunted, rubbing his scruffy chin in amazement.
"I'm serious, Artie. Why all the fuss over a piece of paper or an archaic ceremonial declaration? It doesn't change how you feel about her, does it? It's not going to change how you live. What difference does it make? Isn't it just another form of social convention and expectation?" She jumped up onto the counter for a place to sit, earnestly looking down at him.
He crossed his arms thinking, inwardly frowning at her newest habit of sitting on the counter that she'd picked up from Claudia. He was pretty sure Myka wasn't thrilled with it either. "I know. That's why the 'huh.' You've made your opinions very clear on this subject in the past, that's all. Both of you have. You don't need a piece of paper or a ceremony to know how you feel, blah, blah, blah. Having a change of heart?"
"As far as my heart is concerned, that never has and never will change. My heart has always been Myka's and always will be. I've given her my soul. I don't understand this incessant need the human species has for an institution such as marriage."
"She still hasn't asked for the ring back," he said flatly, looking pointedly at the chain that had escaped her shirt when she leaned forward during her appeal from the counter.
"What? Does everyone know?" She quickly pushed the chain back under the shirt and leaned back against the cupboards, her head cracking against the door.
Artie grimaced at the sound despite the fact she made no reaction. "Not an easy thing to hide around people that love you. We all noticed that morning, and you still wear them both. As hard as I try, I do know something about you. You won't separate them. We've been through too much, Helena, all of us, to not notice. Sarah's the only one that remains clueless, and no comment! I'm not asking you why. It's none of my business, but I think it's a significant." He watched the consternation and defeat fall over her face. He'd unintentionally hit a sore spot. He closed his eyes, a sadness running through his body. She'd been through so much, had experienced far more than one so young deserved, ironically over an incredibly long time. Myka seemed to be the only one that could forget the incongruity of her existence and see the woman struggling before him as a peer. He still fought that battle.
She bent her head biting her bottom lip, a strange expression on her face. "Well," she started slowly, tipping her head to the side, "Actually…Myka did ask for its return, in a way, when she expressed a desire, very distinctly, that I…marry her." She looked at him uncomfortably, looking ready to bolt out of the small room.
Artie coughed up the coffee he just drank, barely getting the cup to the counter top with a thud before he dropped it. "Oh my," he gulped.
"Artie!" She shrank back like a terrified five-year old.
"No! Stop. It's okay." He reached out to her quickly, afraid she really was going to bolt. "Wow. So, I'm going to assume, because of this conversation we're having, and the fact that you still have the ring, that you said no. Is that right?"
"Your assumption would be correct," she said letting out a rough breath. "Please, I beg of you, do not tell anyone."
He smiled sympathetically. "No, of course not. Notice the door's closed. May I ask why you said no, if nothing else, why you still have the ring?"
"I panicked! I didn't know what to say. We decided a long time ago and agreed, we neither wanted nor required marriage for our relationship. It was irrelevant. We are already bound by something far beyond any rational thought. You've held the queen, Artie. I know beyond a doubt we are tied by something stronger than ourselves. When we were broken from it, we still managed to hold onto each other, with great difficulty, but we are now far closer than before. I have no reason to think that will ever change. As for the ring, that's a bit more personal and something we both feel is the only…faithful answer at the moment."
"The freaky thing?" He nodded his head in response to her faint smile. "And how exactly did Myka take your response?"
"Initially, remarkably well. I'm not entirely sure she knew what to expect. I would say it's a fair assumption she was disappointed, but I also sense she isn't sure yet herself how she feels. I fear she has since rethought her reaction."
He nodded his head in thought, unconsciously picking up his coffee again. "Is it fair to say we're presently having this conversation because you yourself are now uncertain how you actually feel about the whole thing?"
"Quite possibly," she said softly.
Leaning back against the counter he deliberated over the coffee. He was certain few people would ever be able to claim to see her in such a state of confusion and uncertainty. They would definitely not believe that HG Wells had lowered her defenses to such an extent with him or even ask him for advice on such a personal issue. He smiled inwardly. Only Vanessa would believe him.
"Alright. Well, first let's examine the definition of marriage. Historically, and in most cultures, a form of marriage is a symbolic union of two people. In some cultures, more than two people. It's an anthropological universal. In some ways it is just a social or ritual recognition of the union. It's an affirmation and obligation to each other of a joined life and all that entails, whether it is proprietary, financial, familial, sexual, spiritual, or a combination. Historically, yes, it has been used for political, religious, patriarchal and matriarchal control. But, for me its definition remains as such: An affirmation and acknowledgement of a bond or union of two people that no longer wish to remain just individuals but something greater that can only be attained as one based on their love for each other. There are a lot of definitions of marriage when you start pulling it apart. What it means to YOU," he pointed a chubby finger at her, "not everyone else around you, is what is important."
She frowned, deep in thought. "Why go through all of that if your goals remain the same without it? The whole big wedding thing and party afterwards…I just don't understand. It sounds like social convention to me and one I never intended to endure for society's sake."
"If I may make the assumption you ask regarding yourself, Helena; you and Myka are unique. You have something none of us will ever have or even come close to comprehending. The closest we'll ever get is that chess piece, and it is pretty overwhelming. You've been connected to each other in some miraculous way since the day you were born. I'm sure of that. I don't know how I know, but this old fart believes it. The fact that you are here with her now, nearly one hundred and fifty years after you were born…you've been searching for her your whole life, Helena. It's no coincidence all these little things keep popping up and will probably continue to do so for the rest of your lives. I have no doubt. Your daughter's teddy bear ended up with Myka. I don't think anyone here thinks for one minute that is a mere coincidence."
"So, why get married?"
"I never said you should. You're re-examining your beliefs. In this case, and I think a lot of what you struggle with, is based on your experiences from another time; that former life of yours. You're deciding if they still hold true for you now." He rubbed his forehead. "Look, for you growing up, marriage was losing everything you had, including yourself. For Myka, I think it was an inferred expectation. It's something you've both avoided. Maybe marriage seems ordinary to you when you compare it to what you have. I can't answer that question for you. Remember one thing, though; you felt a need to exchange rings. That meant something to you. She's protected that ring, one that she painstakingly pondered over, around her neck every day when you felt it was safer left behind. Not too different from why you've got that one hanging from your neck. I suspect removing it from your finger during those times was difficult for you, but you feared losing it more. Now that connection, as material as it may seem, is gone. It may hold more for you than you think." He finished his coffee watching the thoughts spin around in her head.
He set his cup aside and crossed his arms waiting for her attention. "Okay. So now I'll tell you why I asked Vanessa to marry me. I love her. It's as simple as that. I want to share every bad and good thing I have to offer. She makes me a better person. I want to provide my strength and draw strength from her every day. I don't want to be just me anymore. I want to be part of something bigger, better and stronger than myself. Sure, my feelings will only grow and change over time and actually marrying her won't change that. Wanting to share the rest of my life with her won't change. But for me, there is something special, spiritual, about that simple act of saying it, out loud, under duress even, that makes it feel…right. I love her so much I want the other people in my life I care about to be able to hear me tell her how much I love her. Maybe it is more of a spiritual thing for me. Maybe I don't really know. I just want to. And it's a great excuse for a party. Who wouldn't want to celebrate love when there's so much hate?
"Do you even know why you're asking, aside from the obvious? Do you really not know how you feel or are you scared of how you feel?" he asked, breaking her thoughts.
She rubbed her face with both hands and shook her hands through her hair, pulling it out of her face, frustrated. "No. Yes. Maybe. Oh, Artie, I don't know." She became more agitated with her frustration. "No, I don't think I do know. Myka…she…it was the last thing I expected, especially after we…" she turned bright red. "She was so earnest. Everyone seems to make such a fuss over of it."
He leaned back smiling slightly, tilting his head slightly watching her frustration.
"This isn't funny! You are indeed an over-sized, little troll sometimes," she protested.
"I'm not laughing at you. This is really big stuff and it should be. Obviously, it's really, really big stuff for you, at least right now. I'm smiling, Helena, because you have changed so much over the past few years. There was a time you never let anyone in or showed the slightest bit of yourself to anyone other than Myka, and even that was rare. Look at you now. Coming to this over-sized, little troll, obviously frustrated over a very big and extremely personal issue. I think that's amazing. It's a good smile, and I won't tell a soul."
She sighed, disgusted with his observation and then smiled to herself. He was right. It would never be easy, but it became easier every day and she knew who she had to thank for that. "She wants to marry me, Artie." She sat in complete wonderment. "I don't think anyone has ever wanted that of me, for just me."
"Don't be so surprised, Helena. She has good tastes and can see beyond the surface. You deserve someone's honest love and so does she." She started to fidget on the counter, pushing closer to the edge. "Right. Back to your query," he continued before she got too uncomfortable and ran. She was his most difficult balancing act. "The way I see it, you end up making a bigger deal out of it by trying to not make a big deal out of it. That says a lot right there. I think you're scared." He waved off the glare he was expecting. "The 'W' word, as we've all become accustomed to referring to it as, comes out of both of your mouths more than you think. Stop." He held up his hands at her opening mouth. "You asked the question, you get to sit through the lecture part. You've been doing it since before you left for Atlanta. You've both bickered like an old, married couple since day one. You say you're not married, but you wear rings, or whatever state of flux that's in. None of my business. You are remarkable individuals. Together," he shook his head, "Together you are a formidable force. Always have been. You've both been forced to reevaluate your relationship in a new way – without that freaky thing. As Claudia would say, you've been rebooted. Now it's back and probably stronger than before because of it. Maybe you got reprogrammed a little in the process. We all change and that's okay. No one is going to judge you for that. What was right for you before, may not be right for you now. Myka seems to have a different perspective."
He walked over to the place she sat and filled his cup. Keeping his attention on his task he gently placed his hand over her hand resting on the counter, patting it. "If I haven't just muddied the waters then I haven't done this right. You'll figure it out. If not," he looked around the small area taking a sip of the hot coffee, "my nook is your nook. It even has a door."
He squeezed her hand once before opening the door and sat at his desk, leaving her behind. He shook his head, mumbling into the cup he raised to his mouth, "I can't believe she said no."
He heard the heavy thud of her feet landing on the floor and looked over his shoulder. "Hey, just where do you think you're going?" He stopped her in her tracks.
"To go see Myka, of course. Where else would I be going?"
"And?" he asked looking at her over his glasses, expecting some big revelation.
"And what? It's time for lunch, in case you have not looked at your watch. My breakfast did little to appease my appetite."
"You didn't bring any…" He stopped mid-sentence turning red. "I'm not telling you where she is."
She gave him a broad, devilish grin. "I don't need you to tell me that. You know I already know where she is better than you do. Annoyingly strong it is sometimes." She sighed heavily in mock annoyance, her hand on the door knob. "Five days, Artie. Honestly, what do you expect? Five days!"
He shook his head at the slamming of the door, grumbling to himself, "Hormone raged kids."
"What's that, old man?" Claudia asked, dropping a lunch bag in front of him.
"Just turn off camera 28, please."
"Huh?" She gave him a funny look, setting her coffee down. "Ooohhh. Yeah. Right. HG's back. Lunch in the library. Didn't we build them a house? What is with them these days anyway?"
"Just shut the damn thing off!" He spun around in his chair glaring at her.
"Alright already! When's Doc V. coming again?"
"Shut up. There better be some good cookies in this bag."
"Uh, Artie, I'm getting some really weird readings in…"
"Yeah, I see. I thought lunch was over," he grumbled through a bite of his cookie.
"Not those kind of readings. That's not a favorite spot at the moment. They've been sticking to the library as far as I know and I don't want to know otherwise. Hey, was that warning added to the welcome packet for your new recruit? And yeah, HG is actually helping Myka, in the actual work way. I know your glaring at me…she really is. Doesn't she know what a day off is? Last I knew Myka had the grocery list ready for her." Claudia switched the screens around. "Well, I'll be damned." Claudia faded off. "No, really, Artie. Did HG go in there?"
"I don't think so, why?" He got out of his chair looking at the screen over his shoulder. "Not again?"
"Yeah, again. I'm not positive, but I'll wager a bet everything's in the same exact place. Myka would know. Do we tell them? I'm not sure Myka told her about the last time yet and I don't remember any other time being a fun party for all so far. I'm also willing to bet," her fingers started flying across the keyboard, pulling up different screens. "Yep. All blank. Artie, what's going on?"
"I don't know. How are her nightmares?"
"Whose? Myka hasn't really said and I haven't asked. HG's been racking up the mileage points. Avoiding here if you ask me, not that anyone did. Myka's antsy not getting out as much. I know she's concerned about HG being sent out, but she's usually teamed up with Steve, so..."
"So, what?"
"Oh, you know. Those two have a weird place they go to."
"Huh?"
"Get with the program, Homer. Steve and HG. They have their own little freaky world. They have ever since Tenerife…uh, yeah… that place we went to and definitely did not have ANY fun at whatsoever. Nope. No fun at all."
"I'm surrounded by freaks."
"And you are their king."
Helena sunk to her knees on the floor, unable to take her eyes off of the sight in front of her. "This is not funny. Whoever's idea this is of a joke…"
"That's sort of the point," Claudia said softly. "It's not. No one's been here. No one can get in here without either one of you. I've tried. Warehouse won't let us in."
"Claudia, what's going on?" Myka made it in shortly behind Helena, stopping short of falling over Helena.
"Don't know. She's back and so is our phantom. Cameras are blank."
"Everything is in the same exact place as last time. How?" Myka started walking around the articles placed on the floor. She warily picked up the open book of Alice in Wonderland with her thumb and index finger reading the underlined words on the open page, "'It's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.'" She looked at Helena for a reaction. "Mean anything to you?"
She shook her head. "I could come up with at least a dozen different interpretations, if there is indeed a purpose behind it."
"Well, sweetie, it's underlined, just like the others. Question is who is it for, you or me?" She looked around her feet. "Wait a minute…where's her birth certificate?" She looked around at the three faces quickly before resuming her examination of the floor, setting the book aside. "Helena, did you take her birth certificate home with you?"
"No. It means little to me without my name on it. I've taken nothing save the two photos when I opened the crate."
"Does anyone else notice something just a little wrong here?" Myka looked at everyone.
Artie was the first to speak. "The crate is still nailed shut."
"Okay, I'm really getting the heebie jeebies here," Claudia visibly shivered.
"It's your warehouse!" Helena spun around on her.
"Hey! She doesn't belong to anyone. She just shares stuff with me." Claudia backed away from the incensed woman.
"Helena, just try to calm down," Myka said picking up the hammer that had become a permanent resident.
"Calm down?" She jumped up stalking down Myka. "My daughter's belongings are consistently getting spread across the floor and you're telling me to calm down? I'm tiring of this game, and now things are disappearing."
Myka hugged her tightly, talking softly. "Getting all charged up isn't going to help us solve anything. We'll figure this out. It's what we do, remember? Wells and Bering, remember? Just take a deep breath and then you can help me open it up." She waited for Helena to settle herself, carefully backing her up to the crate in her arms. Letting go, she examined the crate. "It seems to look exactly like it did when we closed it up last time. There are no signs of it being opened. No new hammer marks and the floor is clear. Here, hold the top for me so it doesn't crash."
"I'm going to go review the cameras again, see if I can find anything. Not that we ever do," Artie announced. "Claudia, why don't you come help me."
The last nail gave way and they moved the top to the side.
"Myka, I don't understand any of this." Helena started examining the inside of the crate, picking up the book mocking her.
"I know. Neither do I," she sighed. "Where would the birth certificate go? You did pack it, right? It didn't end up under a shelf or something?"
"No. I'm very certain I placed it with the other photos and the books. You haven't mentioned it missing. Nothing else seems to be missing." She held the book in her hands up. "I'm ready to just toss this one in the rubbish bin. No one else seems to want it. I much prefer your copy anyway." She tossed it back into the crate, the slap of its landing amplified by the wooden interior. "I put a great deal of thought into that inscription. Steve certainly enjoyed it."
Myka jerked her head up, looking into Helena's laughing eyes. "That little rat fink. Christmas." Helena nodded her head. "I knew he was holding something back. You'll be working on a special spot for it too, far from any children that enter our house. I'm not sure its present spot is secure enough. I cringe at the thought of any of Pete's kids finding it, or him for that matter." She took another look around at the items strewn around the floor. "I'm not seeing anything else missing." Myka turned to her, rubbing her face in frustration. "What do you want to do? Do you want to put it all back? Since things seem to be disappearing now, is there anything you want to take home?" Myka ran her fingers through her hair when Helena didn't respond, thinking through each item. "The cradle, her doll, anything?"
Helena looked at the ruins around them, sadly shaking her head. "None of this means anything to me. Nothing. My memories hold far more value. This…I'm tempted to just burn it all!" she exploded.
They both jumped when the top fell over, crashing on the floor. They stared at each other speechless.
"Perhaps not," Helena said shakily. "Let's just leave this for now. Someone obviously doesn't want it put away." She turned around striding out of the section leaving Myka far behind.
"Helena! Wait! Where are you going?"
"To the grocery," she barked. "I have the list right here." She pulled the crumpled paper out of her jean's front pocket, holding it in the air still walking away. She stopped, spinning around to face Myka. Hands on her hips, she took a deep breath answering with an uneasy voice, "It's my turn and you've come up with an extensive list over the past five days. I'm obviously not accomplishing anything here other than annoying Artie by selfishly appeasing my apparently elevated libido. Damn Vanessa and her bloody books. I think I preferred enjoying the effects without knowing the why and how," she said, sulking, into Myka's shoulder when she finally caught up to Helena, hugging her tightly.
"I know. I'm getting tired of this too. Something has got to give soon. The nightmares?"
"It's the only thing good about not sleeping here. I don't have them. If I do, it's the usual." She turned her head into Myka's neck, enjoying the hand stroking her back. "I love you, Myka."
Stepping back, Myka tipped Helena's chin up. "So serious. You shouldn't be so serious after lunch. Which reminds me, I really need a sandwich. I can't believe you didn't even bring me a sandwich. I'm starving. And I know for a fact your, uh, libido did you say?...is only loosely related to any biology and I can prove it. All you have to do is walk in the damn room and I…" She kissed her hard. Letting out a ragged breath, she turned Helena around, pushing her forward, laughing as Helena stumbled slightly trying to find her balance. "I swear there's something wrong with us. Now off to the grocery with you, Champ. That list has been ongoing since the last trip to the grocery, whenever that was. I'm going to see what Artie and Claudia have come up with and maybe it's best for now if you're not here, for more reasons than one. I have an urge to remind myself why I'm starving. Besides, it's your day off. Go do something fun."
Helena stopped half way down the aisle, all confidence and cockiness back, pushing thoughts of the crate far away. "I could, but it's much more fun with you. As they say, the proof is in the pudding, my dear. I expect to put that to the test."
"I'm counting on it. Will that be appetizers or dessert?"
Helena laughed softly. "Both if I have anything to say about it."
"Stock up on your weird foods. I'm letting you say anything you want. And don't forget your damn ice cream!" she yelled at the disappearing back.
Myka stretched across Helena's back gathering her hair, twisting it up to the side across the pillow. She nuzzled the back of the bare neck, enjoying the groan between the pillows below and the shivers against her body. She slid to the side settling her head in a pillow facing her. Helena's eyes were still closed and she was biting her bottom lip. Gently, Myka licked away the biting teeth, soothing the indentation left behind before tasting the tongue beyond. "Explain something to me," she whispered, watching the brown eyes open slowly. "How is it that during that former life of yours, it was inappropriate to show the merest bit of ankle, in public at least, yet perfectly acceptable to expose one of the sexiest, most irresistible assets God gave you, to tease every man and woman that walked behind you?"
"Well, I would hope it wasn't my only asset, at least beyond the public eye, so which asset is it you are referring to?" Helena asked coyly, eyes molten with desire. "I think you may need to show me."
"You need reminding?" Myka giggled, again seeking the bare neck, lightly biting down on the exposed flesh. "Oh, you definitely know how to use it to your advantage."
"Yet, I was promised it would be used against me for the rest of my life. You may be somewhat partial." She rolled over on her back closing her eyes, relaxing into the warm kisses running down her neck. "Mmmm. I fear you will forever have the advantage. You've made good on that promise. Myka, as difficult as this is for me to admit, I really can't." She whimpered in frustration until Myka settled in beside her.
"I know." Myka laughed weakly, relaxing against her. "Neither can I. What is wrong with us anyway?"
"Wrong? What makes you think something is wrong? What are you talking about?" Helena asked not following where the question came from.
Leaning up on her elbow, Myka looked down on the flushed chest, her finger haphazardly wandering across the hot, damp skin. "Are you seriously going to lay there and tell me that our sex life has not completely gone into hyper-drive? I let you seduce me at my parents'!"
"Honestly, darling, I don't keep an ongoing tally of such events. I, for one, have absolutely no complaints." Helena chuckled looking into the uncertain green eyes. She reached up softly caressing the side of Myka's face. "Sweetheart, I make love to you because I love you and I want to make love to you. It's never just been sex with you. I love you beyond words. What could possibly be wrong with that? We're away from each other more than ever it seems and I miss you. I can't wait to have you back in my arms. So, yes, I want to make love to you. Even if it is just a quick moment in the corner-that moment I'm holding you in my arms is a treasure to me. Don't over analyze it so. Simply enjoy. You are the most precious thing in the world to me. Truly you are." She hugged Myka firmly against her, absorbing the warmth. She closed her eyes, yawning. "I'm hungry."
"Way to break a moment there, Wells. So much for what I was going to say. Please tell me you are not going to raid the kitchen." Myka laughed into her neck. "You're on your own this time. Don't wake me when you get back. Oscar will be happy for the company."
"I honestly don't have the energy. Oscar is on his own tonight. What were you going to say?" Dragging her fingers along the arm Myka had draped over her, she tried to stifle another yawn.
"It can wait," Myka sighed into her neck.
"Are you sure?" Helena frowned, kissing Myka's forehead. She felt a slight nod on her shoulder. "Well, then be forewarned, you are making me a very big breakfast in the morning." Slowly, her hand came to a stop on the forearm across her.
"You'll have to give me a list of your weird sex foods."
"Hmmm. You'll come up with something," she faded off.
Myka sat up again watching her sleep in the dim light. Carefully, she picked up the ring on the chain rubbing it between her fingers, warming the metal. "When do I get it back?" She settled back into her former place resting her hand on the ring lying across Helena's chest. She blinked her eyes open when the smaller hand appeared on top of hers.
A soft voice rumbled through the chest under their hands. "Have faith, love. Have faith." With a soft sigh, Helena rolled onto her side pulling Myka's hand with her.
Chapter Text
They heard the arguing coming up the stairs. Claudia turned in her chair smiling when she heard Myka's loud, frustrated groan and watched her head hit the table with a thud.
"It was a simple task," she mumbled into the table. "They didn't even have to talk to each other. One. Simple. Task!"
"I thought you were taking care of this?" Artie grumbled spinning around in his own chair. He watched her back from over his glasses, waiting for another frustrated retort from her.
"Oh, believe me when I say, I am." A low growl rose from deep in her chest as she stood up, both hands flat on the table. "Have no doubt about that."
Claudia recognized that sound. It was a sound she'd rarely heard, usually reserved only for when Helena dug herself a deep, deep hole. She slid down in her chair facing her computer, deciding if it was safer to stay or go.
The door flew open with a crashing bang that rattled the glass. Helena's face was a vision of pure fury with cold, dark narrowed eyes. She spun on the young woman behind her. "How could you possibly think that? That is completely absurd! Do you have the slightest bit of common sense? The repercussions would have been monumental. Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Is the vocabulary too complex for you to understand? Perhaps you should try reading a book once in a while."
"If you would just listen for one stupid minute…" the young woman raged.
"STOP! Both of you, right now!" Myka pointed to a chair at the table. "Helena, there."
Helena rolled her eyes with obvious annoyance.
"Now!"
Claudia watched with amusement at the reflection in the glass window as Helena's eyes widened in surprise, her body coming to attention. Helena knew that voice too well. Glaring at Myka, she calmly sat in the chair.
"Sarah, there. Now!" Myka pointed to the chair opposite Helena, her eyes narrowing and jaw set when the girl hesitated.
The young, blonde woman was obviously unsure of what to expect from Myka. She'd had little personal interaction with her, paired mostly with Steve or Pete, due to crossing missions beyond the conversations with Helena regarding their general animosity. Slowly, she sat in the chair, eyeing Helena with outright hostility and suspicion. After all, it was clear to her whose side would be taken in this battle of wills.
Crossing her arms, Myka gave Artie a cursory look over her shoulder. He shrugged and went back to his work. "That's it. That's just it. No more. I'm done with both of you." She sharply cut the air horizontally with her hands. "If I thought it would work, I'd throw you both in the cage. The problem is, you don't really know each other, so that won't work."
Sarah started to open her mouth, but Myka cut her off before a sound came out. "No. You don't get to talk. You've both had plenty of time to talk. This is me talking and you two listening. Yes, she can be manipulative, coldly calculating, impatient and annoyingly arrogant. I personally, and painfully, experienced it early on. Yes, I know she has a huge ego, but if you stopped for just one second you'd realize she has plenty of reasons for that ego. I will also make it very clear, that in this family, and I stress the word family, everyone knows I'm the ONLY one here that has the privilege of calling her out on that ego of hers. Trust me. I do. Often. If I ever hear anyone else comment on it, I'll punch their teeth in, Artie included." She held up a thick file in front of Helena whose eyes widened again and then looked back at Myka confused. "May I?" she asked softly, nodding in Sarah's direction. Helena closed her eyes for a second with an imperceptible sigh and slightly nodded her head. Myka threw the file at Sarah. "This is the cliff notes, of the cliff notes, of the cliff notes which I have painstakingly taken the time to make available for your benefit. Read it. It should take a while. I should know. I think I'm the only one that's ever actually gone through the entire thing. Hopefully, you'll start to understand why and where that ego comes from and why we have all accepted it as one of her quirks."
Myka proceeded to turn to Helena. Helena coolly looked back. "You are a brilliant, arrogant, often implacable, stubborn pain in the ass! You can be so unbelievably closed minded that I sometimes find it hard to believe you really are as open minded and creative as I know you are. I cringe when you get bored. You can see so far beyond the rest of us that it still baffles me. But, you forget that we can't read your mind. Yes, she is young, immature, spoiled and inexperienced, but she has a lot of talent, thoroughly thinks things through and generally keeps a cool head, until you go out of your way to piss her off for the fun of it, and boy but don't I know you do. She is not a toy! She is a worthy addition to this team. I know how adaptable you are. And if I hear you refer to her as 'Blondie' or any version thereof again you will be so grounded to inventory for so long you'll wish you were pregnant." Helena's eyes widened. "That's right. Count the years. I'm not going to manage conflicts between you and someone else again. Been there, did that, done that, still do. It's exhausting constantly being the referee." She held a file in front of Sarah. "May I?" she asked quietly.
"Like I have a choice?" Sarah snapped back.
"Yes, you do or I wouldn't have asked," Myka responded calmly. "That attitude is really not helping you right now. I suggest you lose it - permanently. However, since she has agreed to opening her highly edited file, and I promise it was of her own volition, I would recommend you consider a show of good faith, especially since I did go to a lot of effort to condense hers into one file. She has the honor of having more than one." She threw the thin file over to Helena without taking her eyes off of the younger woman. "Helena, read it. Make yourself acquainted with the term 'cliff notes'. I'll explain what they are later if you need me to. For obvious reasons, it's not as thick as yours. You know I'll know if you don't read it, so don't even try. Kind of the sucky part of the freak, huh? Right now I really wish I could turn that off."
"Now," Myka took a calming breath and picked up the two files from the table she'd been reviewing. She handed one to each of them, saying brightly, "Say hello to your new partner. You're going to Kansas for the weekend. Don't come back until it's in your hands and you can be civil to each other and work as a team, because I really mean it when I say you're now partners. I don't care if you don't like each other. Been there, did that and done that, too. Wasn't really fun for me. You need to work together. It's hard to become part of a family when you feel alienated, isn't it, Helena? It's time for you to actually get to know each other. Helena, you get to drive. Limits your kenpo, I hope, by a quarter, maybe. Meet each other on the porch at Leena's in two hours."
Sarah stood up, mouth opening again. Myka held a finger up. "No. Not one word." She pointed to Helena. "She knows her shit and then some and is probably one of the best this warehouse has seen. You can learn a lot from her if you can lose that spoiled brat attitude. Follow her lead and she'll keep you alive. Whether you believe it or not, she has your back. I'm not so sure I can say the same to her yet, but I know she doesn't necessarily need you." Myka turned her head into the calm eyes watching her. "And she damn well better come home alive and in one piece or I will strangle her." She heard a quiet snort from Claudia behind her. She motioned around the room and then between herself and Helena emphatically. "What goes on here, as stressful as it has been at times for Helena and me, has miraculously, for the most part, stayed here. You have no idea how difficult that is sometimes. I get it that you think she'll get special treatment, but anyone will tell you I have absolutely NO problem telling Helena exactly what I think, nor she me. They've all lived it. Repeatedly. That's how we ended up with the cage, isn't it, Helena? Trust me, there is no room in my bed for you, Sarah, or anyone else, and I plan on keeping it that way. Goodbye." Myka's eyes followed Sarah out.
Helena stood up, earnestly looked at Myka and nodded her head. Myka looked back intently, closed her eyes and nodded back before Helena followed Sarah's fading footsteps.
Artie and Claudia turned around speechless. Claudia finally swallowed. "Dude, you are so not going to get laid, like, forever."
Myka looked at her watch picking up the few files left on the table, saying smoothly, "Oh, don't be too sure about that. I have approximately ten minutes to get home to say goodbye. I just majorly fucked up our plans for the weekend and was going to send you and Steve on Monday." She turned to Artie on her way to the umbilicus. "Artie, if this harebrained idea of mine actually works, then I'll take the job."
"What? Really?" Artie fumbled his pen turning quickly in his chair, almost spinning off.
She opened the door wide. "I want to give my future a chance and I want those options. Helena needs a partner right now. She's working solo too much. She thrives on teaching whether she knows it or not and Sarah is in desperate need of guidance. I just need to get their heads out of their asses long enough for them to realize they need each other. I'll see you later. Say 'hi' to Vanessa for me. Unfortunately, I doubt we'll get to see her like we'd planned." She spun around quickly, surprising him again saying sharply, "Oh, and Artie? The next time you bring on a new recruit, let me in on the secret!"
Claudia turned to Artie, a grin on her face. "Wow…Just…Wow. She's good. Think it's going to work?"
Artie turned back to his work with another shrug.
Claudia stared at his back. "What was she talking about anyway? What future? What options?"
Artie stared at his work blank faced, shaking his head. "I have no idea. Don't you have work to do?" He turned his head toward the umbilicus door grinning. "About damn time," he said under his breath, rubbing his chin.
"Artie?" Claudia turned back to him five minutes later.
He sunk in his chair with a resigned sigh. "Yes, Claudia?"
She cocked her head to the side, crunching her face up with curiosity. "Would Myka really punch your teeth in?"
He nodded his head, eyes never leaving his work. "Without a doubt, Claudia. Without a doubt." He pushed his glasses up looking at the screen in front of him.
Hopping up the stairs of their porch, Myka stopped with her hand on the doorknob, frowning. Turning around, she jogged out to the garden and dropped down at the foot of the maple waiting for the dark head to fall into her lap, brushing Helena's hair back.
"I'm sorry about the weekend," she said tracing a finger around Helena's jaw, tempted to continue down her neck and under her shirt, choosing her lips instead. "Maybe we can go next year. It's just a flower show. And as far as the rest of our plans are concerned…" She sighed sadly.
Smiling faintly, Helena took the hand still tracing her mouth, rubbing the back of it with her thumb and bringing it to rest where Myka had originally planned. She shrugged slightly. "It's fine. We'll try for something next weekend. One of us might have been sent anyway. Maybe Vanessa will stay longer, I'll get back in time and we can still meet with her." She continued to rub the back of Myka's hand, closing her eyes when the hand started to explore.
"I told Artie, yes," Myka blurted out suddenly.
"That's good," she responded nonchalantly. "I was beginning to wonder how much longer you would drag that out."
"How long have you known?" She stopped her hand, fingers resting lightly against Helena's collarbone, ignoring the slight tension.
"I've always known, darling. I've been waiting for you. It was a decision you had to discover in your own time."
"You amaze me sometimes. Never stop." Myka's hand continued its soft exploration watching the shadows from the branches above glide across Helena's peaceful face. "You know they want the package deal, right? It's not just me. It's us. It's always been about us."
"Yes, I've always known. They always have. That's why it was such a struggle for you. You were afraid to pull me in with you, but I've always been with you, Myka. Artie avoided sending us together because he was concerned about the conflict the Regents became so vocal about upon our return. We do make a formidable force. Do you want to walk?" she asked vaguely looking up into the strained face, but enjoying the sensations spreading through her body from the traveling fingers.
"No. I'm happy like this. I'd be happier," she moved her hand under the shirt, stroking the warming skin. "That's better. Still leaving that extra button undone for me, I see."
"As you may have noticed, it has rarely failed to work to my advantage." She smiled up into the tree watching the blue mingle with the quickly growing bright green. "At least it's not raining."
Myka scooted down the tree and faced Helena. "No, but my butt is getting wet and you have the blanket."
A hand settled against her damp jeans. "So it is. Best I try underneath where it's warm, then. Is it dry?" Helena smirked.
"My butt? Yes. Beyond that…Oh, just kiss me, will you? I've ruined my weekend too. I planned on breakfast in bed, damn it."
"Do you want to go home?" Helena whispered, rolling Myka over onto the blanket.
"With all of that noise going on at the soon to be Nielson home? I prefer the birds." She watched Helena sit up and furtively look around them. "Problem?" Myka started giggling.
"It's risky, you know, this seduction business. It's not the most secluded spot for such activities as you seem to be encouraging." She grinned reaching for the hem of the tee shirt beneath her.
"Like that's ever bothered you before." Myka looked at her watch laughing and started working on the remaining buttons of Helena's shirt, tiring quickly and finally yanking it off. "Damn it, just kiss me! We're running out of time. No one else is around to walk out here and your new partner doesn't come across as the garden sort of person, and frankly, I don't really care right now if she is. So prove you are worthy of that expansive ego of yours."
A loud clomping of boots alerted Claudia and Steve. They looked at each other quickly and turned to face the door. Claudia sat up straight waiting for a barrage of unfriendly words as Steve leaned back in his chair. Sarah's high pitched laugh greeted her as the umbilicus door opened and Helena led the way into the room, a pained expression on her face.
"Really, Agent Murphy, you really must work on that laugh. It is just a bit painful."
Claudia cocked her head at the two women, eyeing HG suspiciously. "Uh, everything okay?" Claudia asked slowly.
"Yes, darling. Did you know we have quite the firearms expert here? She has it." She pointed at the box the young woman held. Noticing Steve, she casually walked over kissing him. "My dear Steven, where have you been hiding? And Myka?"
"Really?" Claudia gave her a funny look, watching the retreating back heading through the door to the depths of the warehouse, the door slamming behind her. "That's what I thought." She turned to her computer quickly, fussing with the keyboard. "Why do they even bother asking?"
"Ask what?" the young blonde woman asked. Steve gave her an odd look, still wondering how this was all going to work out.
"You're joking, right?" Claudia asked, fascinated by the lack of comprehension standing before her. The woman shrugged at her. "Never mind." Claudia spun around in her chair a few times, stopping to see a blank faced Steve starting to show the slightest bit of a smile.
"Where do you want this?" Sarah asked still holding the long box.
"You can just set it on the table. Soooo, I see you made it back alive and unharmed. She didn't kick you down or anything?"
"No. Actually, she saved my butt once or twice. I learned a lot. Her wife provided some good insight with that file."
"Oh, no. No, no, no," Steve interrupted. "Myka. If you want to stay alive, you will never say the "W" word."
"Oh, yeah!" Claudia stressed. "Unless you want us to find you in a ditch somewhere, NEVER say the "W" word in front of them."
"But I thought they…" Sarah looked at them more confused by the ever growing subtle dynamics that already evaded her.
"Oh, yeah, absolutely, without a doubt, but most definitely not," Steve interrupted her quickly. "Just take our word for it."
She gave him a blank look. "I don't get it."
Claudia patted her on the shoulder. "If you don't get it now…yeah, right...good luck with that. Yes, they are, completely to death do us part and far more than you can ever know. Just don't say that word again."
She set the box down carefully, shrugging off the warning. "Wow. This is really Henry Brown's rifle. It wasn't as hard as I thought."
"Don't get too excited. It was an easy swap." Claudia watched the new agent.
"She really doesn't like guns? What's up with that anyway?"
Steve and Claudia looked at each other and then back at Sarah. Claudia stared at her for a long moment. "Only once that I know of and the only reason I know she would. Otherwise, it's just the Tesla. HG's pretty lethal without one. Go read that file again before you give it back to Myka. She worked really hard on, um, slimming it down. Actually," Claudia got a glint in her eye, "If you could go get this book for me in the library, it'll help us with our new artifact." She wrote something on a sheet of paper handing it over. The young woman shrugged taking the paper and headed towards the door.
Steve roared with laughter. "Oh, Claudia Donavon, you have a wicked mean streak in you. You know exactly what is going on in that library and it's all in Braille." He stood up rushing over to the computer when Claudia turned the camera back on, panning to just the edge of the center. "This should be good. The table? Ouch. That head bang had to hurt."
"Hey, new guy needs to get initiated sometime. HG didn't kill her, so looks like she's staying. Of course, she might kill her after this."
"Or you," Steve poked her shoulder. "More like Myka."
"Eh. It's worth the risk. I think it's about time for her to become better acquainted with some of the subtleties of our little family, and Myka really ruined their weekend big time. Doesn't look like it's being held against her though." Her eyes widened. "Okay, clothes coming off, camera's off." Her fingers flew across the keyboard. "And, deleting."
They both rushed to the sofa sitting close to each other with big grins watching the door. Suddenly the sound of running feet could be heard on the steps. Claudia started laughing before the door flew open. Sarah rushed in red faced and came to a halt at the two tricksters.
"You knew! You did that on purpose!" Sarah yelled at who she was beginning to now think of as the evil twins.
Claudia caught her breath, wiping a tear away from her eye. "We figured if HG didn't kill you on this trip it was time to make it official. Welcome to Warehouse 13."
"Mmmm. Now this is a welcomed indulgence." Helena wrapped her arm around the recently absent warmth, squeezing her tightly. Her hand sought out Myka's, fingers lightly following prominent veins and tendons before enclosing it. "I've missed you." Oscar nosed his way between their faces. "I'm sorry," she laughed, "WE missed you."
Myka laughed softly, gently pushing the cat away. She closed her eyes, bringing the cool hand to her lips, kissing each knuckle. "Since when did I become an indulgence?"
"Despite the rather unorthodox circumstances, every day since I first touched this lovely hand. How shameless I've become since, seeking it out in every way possible. I expected you earlier," she said against the warm neck she burrowed her nose into, inhaling deeply. "I love the way you smell. What happened to house rule number one?" She looked over Myka's shoulder with tired eyes and a wicked smile crossing her face.
"I thought you'd be asleep." She turned around facing Helena. The palm of her released hand slid down the side of Helena's face as she leaned in fulfilling the requisite kiss, quickly getting lost in the sweetness she found.
A smile appeared across the quickly clearing, smiling face. A slim finger traced the features of Myka's face, memory guiding her in eliciting a happy sigh. "You know me better than that. I've only just found myself in bed recently. I've been otherwise occupied in a very intense game with Claudia that I allowed her to struggle with late into the evening, and, no, she did not win. You didn't perchance shut the door, did you?" she asked in response to the wandering fingers barely touching her skin, quickly finding herself flat on her back.
Leaning down, Myka's tongue started tracing a path up Helena's neck and jaw, extending a visit to the cavern of her mouth. Straddling her, Myka nipped the base of her throat before kissing a path lower, moaning when she reached her first destination. "No." She nuzzled the now wet, hardened nipple. "Why would I do that?" She giggled heading for the other side.
"Because your mother is in the guest room down the hall and I suspect she sleeps not quite so soundly as your father."
Helena laughed quietly when Myka froze with her mouth open, warm, moist air teasing the expectant breast, her other hand's thumb in mid-stroke against her other. Slowly, Myka lifted her head, swallowing audibly, wide eyes looking straight into those laughing back at her.
"What?" she finally whispered in shock.
"I said…"
"I know what you said. I can't really move thanks to that knowledge." Despite her words, she sat up looking over her shoulder at the wide open door. "Um...Right...Door," she stuttered. "What...is my mother...doing...here? And why... didn't I know?" she asked anxiously.
"I'm not entirely sure, but she arrived earlier this evening. I was just as surprised as you, darling, especially since it was your arrival I was anticipating when she knocked on the door. She said we'd find out tomorrow." Myka's eyes never wavered from the door. "Darling, I suggest you actually shut and lock the open door you seem so intrigued with at the moment. I had plans of my own, you see. That was until your mother arrived on our doorstep, oddly unannounced. Despite the circumstances, you're doing a brilliant job in making me in want of you now. What a sweet and demanding discomfort you can make." She lightly stroked her finger down Myka's front, smiling. "From what I can tell in this present position, you are equally aroused as well. Just what have you been thinking about? So, I recommend you actually get up and go shut that door so we may address our present situation, and please see that Oscar is on the other side. I really don't like him watching."
Myka sat frozen, still staring in shock at the door. Suddenly, Helena knocked her off with a squeal and shoved a complaining Oscar through the door, throwing the lock. She came back to the bed and sat in front of Myka, a knee on either side. "You had your chance. Now for MY plans, incomplete as they are. Myka, look at me," she said softly, pulling Myka's attention from the door with a finger against her chin. "Look at me." She smiled tenderly and leaned in slowly, whispering against Myka's lips, "I've missed you. We've been flying by each other so much lately. I. Miss. You. So, take a deep breath...and release. Right now we are nowhere but here. Look at me. Good. Now just breathe." She kissed Myka slowly, tracing her lips with her tongue and slowly backed away. Soft fingers ran up Myka's arms and extended behind her, tenderly playing on her back. "Let's just see where this goes, shall we?"
"Hey, Mrs. Bering. What are you doing over here? I thought you'd be having breakfast over there?" Claudia quickly got up from the table, pouring a cup of coffee for her unexpected guest. "I'll make you an omelette." She started pulling things out. "Hey, Oscar. You keeping Grandmom company?" She tapped his head when he placed his paws up on the first shelf and stuck his head into the refrigerator. "No. Mommies said no and you know I'm not going to cross THEM."
Myka's mother leaned her hip against the kitchen counter, smiling at the conversation between the two, enjoying the first sip of coffee. "That was my intention. In fact, I planned on making breakfast for them, but my plans were altered slightly when I went to open the patio door for Oscar and looked out. The door was already open."
Claudia stopped her preparations ever so slightly. "Oh. Yeah. I think I get your drift. HG probably had a nightmare about Christina. It's kind of a Little Prince thing. They'll sit on that lounger Steve made for them and watch the stars when the weather is good. Myka chose a star for Christina. It seems to help both of them. Did they at least have a blanket?" she asked tentatively, clearing her throat, unable to look at the older woman. "I know it was warm last night, but still…"
"Oh, yes. There was really nothing inappropriate per se. They were just sleeping a little more intimately than I thought they'd like to know was witnessed, nor did I wish to. You make wonderful coffee." She walked over for a refill.
"Thanks. Myka is the real coffee queen. She doesn't drink it as much anymore though. I think she's down to her morning hit. Sooo, yeeeaahhh, they are a little freaky that way. I'm not going to ask. If it was a Christina dream? Well, let's just say intimate may be an understatement. I've accidentally been an inadvertent witness trying to be nice and water the plants on the patio. HG gets pretty clingy in her sleep after those dreams, and I think you just got that. Don't worry. They'll get over it. They'll wake up pretty soon now with the sun hitting them. Did they at least have clothes…uh, never mind. This is me not thinking and not talking."
Myka's mother laughed. "Just…rearranged. Let me help you. If what you say is true, we'll need more than one omelette."
The kettle had just whistled when Myka came stumbling through the back door breathless, Helena more calmly behind her and covering a wide yawn.
"Mom. I'm so sorry. We should be making you breakfast." She hugged her mother uncomfortably. "I'm sorry I missed you last night."
"Don't be silly. You were both sound asleep. Claudia and I have been having a nice visit."
A coffee cup was placed in Myka's hand. Claudia stood in front of her smiling, examining the reddening face before her. "Wow. It must have been really intimate for that color," she said quietly, raising one eyebrow. "Want some breakfast?" She sobered, eyes narrowing with concern. "How bad?" she asked seriously, nodding towards the woman making her tea and small talk with Jeannie.
"Pretty bad. I don't know if it's because she doesn't dream about her when she's away so it's worse when she's here or what. Anything happen while I was gone?"
"No, but I don't know how much she actually slept. When you're not here she tends to hole up in the office and wander around downstairs. She's even gone to the warehouse. I suspect she sits with the storm. I haven't told her I know. I've just kinda kept a, uh, quiet close eye if you know what I mean. "
Myka nodded her head smiling at her mother and Helena working at the kitchen counter together, slicing up onions and peppers. "Claudia, it's getting really weird. I'm totally awake and ready for it before it even happens now."
"Hmmm." Claudia shrugged. "You're mutating. What do you want for an omelette? Your mom is making hash browns for you. HG's okay, though, right?"
"The usual. Tired. Unsettled. She'll probably stay close to me most of the day. She'll start her midnight runs if it really gets bad. So, um, what did mom see?"
"Not sure, but I gathered enough. You guys are freakier in your sleep and you tend to, um…seek bare skin, um, in an overly intimate way. Even out there. Go sit." Claudia pushed her towards the table. "Oscar! Get out of the chair. You're not allowed to do that at home and you're not allowed to do it here. How many times do I have to tell you?"
The cat glared at her, jumped off the chair and flipped his tail at her before sitting next to Helena's chair. Helena reached down scratching his head. "Hey! He just flipped me off." Claudia complained. "Your cat needs an attitude adjustment if he's going to hang out over here."
"He's not MY cat," Helena declared.
Laughter rolled from Myka's mother.
"Mom, why are you here? I mean, we're happy to see you, but why didn't you tell us?"
"Oh, I thought you'd know. I'm not really sure. I was asked to come by Mrs. Frederic."
Coughing on her coffee Claudia sputtered out, "You know Mrs. Frederic?"
"I don't think so." She sat back in her chair. "She asked me to come here and see you because there were questions that needed answers. She was very insistent, and flights were already made, so here I am."
"Yep. That's Mrs. F." Claudia sat down with the two plates for Myka and Helena. "What's going on you two?"
"Hell if I know," Myka shook her head. "Pete actually can drive the speed limit and splurged on an extended dinner. I got home late last night. Claudia you still make the best omelettes, and the hash browns, mom. Mmm." She quickly looked up at Helena glaring at her over the cup resting on the knee in front of her, foot resting on the seat. "Yours are good too."
Smiling, Helena reached her hand out lightly stroking the back of Myka's head. "But they are not your mother's." She leaned over to Myka, still smiling and kissed her quickly. "So we shall wait. Until then, would you like a walk through the garden, Jeannie, after breakfast? It's much nicer without snow and since we've gotten past the initial inquisitions..."
"Myka! Will you get the door?" Helena yelled from the kitchen in the middle of her preparations for dinner. "Miracles never cease. Someone is actually knocking on our door." She heard the running down the stairs and then silence when the door opened.
"Agent Bering. Do I get invited in or must I stand on your porch?" Mrs. Frederic asked the shocked person staring at her from the door.
Stepping aside she stumbled over her words. "Uh, yeah, sorry. We're not used to people actually knocking on our door."
"Let me guess, a Miss Claudia Donavan?" She stepped in, an older, very poised woman following her in. "I have someone for you to meet. Myka, this is Elizabeth Campbell, one of our less conspicuous Regents."
Stepping through the door the woman stopped short, blanching, standing eye to eye with Myka. With an even, soft voice, with an obvious French accent she spoke, "Irene, you warned me, but no photos could have prepared me for this. I must apologize, Myka, but you look just like Grace. So beautiful. And those green eyes. It certainly gives me a new appreciation for the words time machine."
"Myka, for heaven's sake are you going to…" Helena came out of the kitchen sputtering, her hands covered with a cheese mixture for the lasagna. "Ah, Mrs. Frederic. How nice of you to finally show up and explain what the bloody hell is going on." She turned her head over her shoulder. "Jeannie, our mystery guest has finally arrived. I'd suggest you start some coffee as I've been banned from walking within five feet of the beastly machine." She gave the stranger standing just inside the door at Mrs. Frederic's side a once over, frowning slightly at the close inspection she received back. Helena estimated her age close to Jeannie's. She stood a little taller than herself, bearing a calm, quiet and intelligent aura with an air of arrogance. Thick, dark, graying hair was styled fashionably short for easy care. "I'm sorry, but am I supposed to know you? You seem oddly familiar to me and that rarely happens."
"HG Wells. Your reputation precedes you far more than you know. I'm Elizabeth Campbell. I was Myka's Aunt Grace's lover for many years and not nearly for long enough. My great, great grandmother was Francis Wells, your cousin."
They stared at each other for some time in silence. Helena forced a smile, swallowing over the lump forming in her throat. "Well, then," she started quietly. "This is interesting news. If you'll just excuse me for a moment." She held up her messy hands and quickly went up the stairs.
Myka stood in the middle, completely overwhelmed when her mother came out. "Well, that coffee is brewing and I think I've got the sauce finished." Seeing the new arrivals she looked at Mrs. Frederic and then at Elizabeth. "Elizabeth. You're alive. Grace said…and you..." She looked at the caretaker. "You were at the hospital that night. The night Grace spoke to me."
The bathroom door slammed upstairs. Myka's eyes crossed each face, scrutinizing them one at a time, ending on her mother's. "Why are you here? What are YOU not telling me," she softly accused before turning her back on the three women. "Helena!" She ran up the stairs after her.
Chapter Text
Myka stood in the middle, completely overwhelmed when her mother came out. "Well, that coffee is brewing and I think I've got the sauce finished." Seeing the new arrivals she looked at Mrs. Frederic and then at Elizabeth. "Elizabeth. You're alive. Grace said…and you." She looked at the caretaker. "You were at the hospital that night. The night Grace told me."
The bathroom door slammed upstairs. Myka's eyes crossed each face, scrutinizing them one at a time, ending on her mother's. "Why are you here? What are YOU not telling me," she softly accused before turning her back on the three women. "Helena!" She ran up the stairs after her.
She heard the anticipated retching before she got the door open. Oscar was already on duty, his front feet on the edge of the toilet closely observing the production. She grabbed a washcloth, wetting it down, and kneeled before Helena's contorting body, pulling back her hair. She pushed the cat away, earning a glare as he triumphantly sat down on the other side. "Sweetie, I'm right here." Myka rubbed her back, waiting for her stomach's rebellion to come to an end. Sitting back against the vanity, Myka took her in her arms and held the cool cloth against Helena's hot face. Oscar crawled into their laps, tripping, trying to nudge Helena's hand. Myka pushed him away again. "I told you she's mine and I'd share. This is one of those times I'm not sharing." She felt a small laugh against her as Helena's hand reached out to scratch the insistent furry head. "There you go again, undermining my authority," Myka said with a smile, hugging the woman tightly. With a big sigh she finally said, "Well, I think we're going to get some answers. How are you doing?"
Myka felt a small shrug, Helena's face appearing from within the crook of her neck, softly shoving the insistent cat away. "Myka, she does have a remarkable resemblance to Francis. I don't think she's lying. Francis was with me when Christina was born, and subsequently under her care that dreadful night."
Myka turned her head at the soft knock on the door. Her mother handed her a cup. "Pumpkin, drink this, it'll help. Take your time. You've had quite a shock and no one wants to rush you." She started to back away.
"Mom, wait." Myka reached out touching her mother's leg, looking up at her calm face. "What do you have to do with all of this? You know, Grace's lover and never told us? You know Mrs. Frederic?" Confused eyes pleaded for answers.
"No, I don't know Mrs. Frederic." She caressed her daughter's face reassuringly. "I never knew her name. She never offered it and somehow I knew that I shouldn't ask. She came to see Grace one night when I was sitting with her. Your father was sleeping, finally, in the room provided for us those last few days. I couldn't sleep. It was Grace's last lucid moment. You're father doesn't know and I don't want him to know that he missed that last moment of time with her. Despite all of his complaints he really did love her dearly. I don't know why I'm here, but it probably has to do with that night. Elizabeth was gone before you were old enough to remember her and Grace didn't want to talk about her. She alluded to the fact that Elizabeth had passed away when they were in Europe and that was that. She never talked about her but out of pain than anything else I think. Grace could be like that sometimes. We respected her wishes. I think we'll understand more soon enough." She glanced at Helena quickly. "I have plenty of questions of my own." She quietly left them behind and Helena dropped her head heavily on Myka's shoulder.
"I'm sorry, Myka. If last night…" she smiled slightly, "And then my nightmare and we fell asleep outside in the damp this morning and...Why do these things always happen when we are so emotionally drained? Is that woman really my, I can't believe I'm saying this…future cousin?" She gave a short, harsh laugh. "I certainly tried my best at a time machine. Apparently, it wasn't such a failed attempt. You'd think I would take things like this in stride, but it was never my intention to meet a future relative in my own life. It's not nearly as exciting as one might think."
"Don't you dare regret last night." Myka started running her fingers through Helena's hair, pushing it out of the way where it had fallen across her face, simply enjoying touching her. "How can you even think that? Those times…I never feel as close to being a part of you as I do then. I personally want to start scheduling more last nights. We need them. I'll never be able to thank Abigail enough. I think emotionally we're more ready for whatever life has to throw at us. So let's go meet your cousin and find out why she and my aunt…okay, so this is just a little overwhelming and more than a little bizarre." She stood up and held out her hand. "Give me your hand. You know I'm not letting go. Just tell me one thing; when did you start throwing up when things like this happen and is it always going to happen?"
Helena gave a soft chuckle and wiped her nose with a tissue. "I never did until I was bronzed. I blame that process and I would be ever so grateful if it stopped."
Helena kept a wary eye on the other women while she pulled Myka into the kitchen behind her, refusing to let go of her hand. She pulled out two tulip glasses from the cupboard and reached deep in the back for a bottle. Carrying the two glasses into the other room, she handed one to the stranger. Elizabeth took a deep, appreciative sniff and smiled before taking a sip. "I certainly know which side of the family you got an appreciation of this from."
"I'm just glad her personal bank account can support it." Myka forced a laugh in the uncomfortable silence, taking the one sip of cognac from Helena's glass that she always indulged Helena with. She'd never enjoy it like Helena, but it made her happy. "So who wants to start?" Myka said forthright. Looking around the room firmly holding Helena's hand, she challenged all the faces from the sofa, coming to rest on Mrs. Frederic. She wasn't interested in any warehouse games anymore especially if they were pushing Helena to puke.
Mrs. Frederic smiled internally at Myka's straightforwardness. Artie had told her about Myka's no-nonsense attitude in dealing with Helena's and Sarah's still questionable misgivings with each other when he informed her Myka finally accepted the position. She wasn't sure who she was proud of more; Myka, for having to take a strong stand against her lover for the first time or Helena, for accepting the strip down without question. They just might make it work out after all.
"As I am the one that arranged this meeting, I will. After being interrogated by one Ms. Donovan, I knew there would be no stopping the three of you. I thought it best you received the correct answers rather than have you question any assumptions. Elizabeth agreed with me. Because of her connection to Helena, most references to her work at the warehouse have been well hidden, though I'm sure not too much further beyond Claudia's abilities. The Regents are not known for a reason, as you know. It may be best for her to explain."
The woman gazed at Helena, shaking her head slightly. "Helena, this must be quite a shock for you having me show up on your doorstep like this. I never dreamed I'd actually get to meet you. It was decided long ago that it was best and safest for my continued relative anonymity and have taken on other well deserved special research projects. I've been forced to follow you from afar. You, Myka, I remember from that summer you spent with Grace and me when Tracy was born. I still can't get over how much you look like her. You always did, but to see you now, as I knew Grace...it's remarkable."
"The estate still exists, Helena. My mother brought us back and I grew up there. It has long lost its connection to the Wells name having at one point being left to the maternal line. Other than you, I'm not sure if there is anyone related with the surname of Wells. As I'm sure you know from personal experience, though, brothers in our family have the advantages, regardless of maternal connections. Such as it was, we girls still remained somewhat in the shadows. As a rather curious child, I spent a lot of time exploring the attic and other lesser known places and in all the dust and rubble I came across some very interesting journals and something else." She pulled out the journals and another stack of well protected, aging papers from the soft sided leather briefcase she had with her. "These I believe are yours." She handed the large stack over with reverence, reluctant to let them go.
Myka took the journals and papers, looking through them. "Helena, what are these?"
Looking over her shoulder, Helena straightened abruptly, looking over towards her cousin, clearly surprised. "That is the first draft of The Time Machine and my last journals. I lost track of them long after Christina was murdered. I was not as reticent in regards to the warehouse and my subsequent activities during that time." She cleared her throat, adding slowly, "Including my actions involving her murderers. I thought I had destroyed all of that and that draft long gone. They should be destroyed. They cannot exist, Myka. Why have you not destroyed these?" she asked the woman vehemently, taking the papers from Myka's lap.
"Because they are the reason I ended up at the Warehouse. You are correct. I took a great risk keeping them all of these years. Irene knew of their existence and was instructed to do with them what she felt necessary upon my death. Perhaps I secretly hoped I would actually someday meet you in my life time. It is for you to decide their fate, no one else's. They are after all yours, not mine." Elizabeth watched Helena closely as she read through select pages. "We of course heard all the stories growing up about the books, the cousin and her daughter and the subsequent disappearance later. The horrible events that occurred in the home long gone. I became rather obsessed, especially after reading those journals and papers. It was obvious to me that Charles was far from the brain behind those stories and that his sister was actually the brilliant and intriguing woman behind them and a great deal more. The handwriting is a perfect match." She sat back, a bewildered expression falling over her face, watching the young woman look through the papers with such intensity and purpose. "How strange it is, to watch someone so young sift through her own papers from before my birth. We were all warned of the shame we should possess over your so called indiscretions and what happens to girls who are much too curious. Then, I discovered this thing she was involved in called Warehouse 12. My goal became finding that place and following in her footsteps. There I met Grace. My dearest, sweet Grace."
Holding up her hand, Jeannie interrupted. "I'm sorry, but am I to understand that you are really THE HG Wells?"
Helena slightly nodded her head without hesitation, never taking her eyes from the journals she paged through.
"I knew I felt something different. That explains all those unusual comments. They just didn't fit. I think I'm being pulled into something very special here, but why?"
Mrs. Frederic turned towards her. "Yes. You are involved by your presence the night I visited Grace. You knew she was not just babbling and you never mentioned it to anyone. I consider that reason enough for you being here. Your daughter needs to understand, and they will both need you I fear very soon. Elizabeth?"
She took a healthy sip from her glass. Setting it down, she leaned forward. "I'm not sure if I found Grace or she found me. There's a great deal you do not know about your aunt, Myka. I'm assuming me for one. You don't remember that summer, do you?" She thought for a moment. "Grace, you see, she knew things. It was one of the reasons she was at the warehouse. At first I didn't think much of it, but then I started realizing she was right about a lot of things that she had no previous knowledge of or a sporadic event. She was always so clear about you. I never understood why. I assumed it was genetic. She knew you were bound for the warehouse. She encouraged a lot of the activities you were involved in, directed your natural instincts and interests. She helped mold you for a future only she knew."
"It's one of the things your father and she argued over, Myka," her mother interjected. "I think he felt she was trying to take you from him in some way and he didn't understand. I guess in a way she did."
"So what, she 'knew' I was going to end up working together at the warehouse and fall in love with the real HG Wells who, by the way, just happens to be a woman? Not that I'm complaining." Myka leaned forward letting go of Helena's hand, and rested her arms on her knees. Helena sat silent and impassive, the papers set aside. Her hand sought out the warmth and security of her partner and stole the hand back. Myka turned slightly, looking into the detached eyes, holding her gaze. She smiled softly, holding the hand in her lap with a slight squeeze.
Elizabeth watched fascinated by the silent exchange and nodded. "I believe, essentially, yes. None of us will ever know how much she knew. She kept a great deal to herself and spoke in vague terms. I think she always thought it was her responsibility to keep it to herself and it was necessary to let things work out naturally. But when it came to you," she shook her head thoughtfully, "she was adamantly clear on your destiny."
"Myka, when your aunt died, we'd already been watching you. She never said anything to any of us. Elizabeth was the only person she told, until the night I visited and even then she never said specifically. The same night your mother was there," Mrs. Frederic offered.
"And you never said anything to me? Why, mom?"
"Myka, dear, she was very specific that I was not to tell anyone what she was telling me. I'm not sure why she did in the first place. Maybe she wanted just one person to know, all the stories she came back with were not just stories."
"So you've known about the warehouse all this time?" she asked incredulous.
"Oh, no! Not in any real sense. Honestly, I still don't really understand what this warehouse is."
"I'm sorry, but can we just back up here a little. Can someone please explain to me what my mother has to do with all of this if she doesn't even know what the warehouse is?!" She stared at her mother and glared at Mrs. Frederic, waiting for an explanation.
The caretaker sat up directing a deliberate look at Myka. "I think your mother is the most qualified person to tell us what happened that night. It was Grace's last lucid moment, was it not?" she asked Jeannie, everyone's attention turning to Myka's mother.
"As far as I know. I couldn't sleep and was sitting with her. She started talking to me out of the blue, very forceful that I listen. At first I thought she was in a drug induced haze. It was a little jumbled but essentially this is it: She said she worked for a secret organization that sent her on her travels and that the warehouse had a plan for you already set in motion long ago. It was waiting for you. A piece of its past waited to join you and only you would be able to see the light through the dark. You were the only one that would be an equal. I had no idea what she was talking about. She kept repeating the warehouse was waiting for you and your happiness would depend on the release of the tortured soul, though much strife you would suffer in the process. You already had a piece of the past and it would be reunited. I think those were her exact words. So you see, Myka, I knew there was a warehouse but not what it was nor your involvement of that matter. I still don't. Mrs. Frederic was there. You never did say what your name was." She looked at the woman.
"I couldn't, Jeannie. As it was, I wasn't sure how much of what Grace was revealing would become an issue. I myself didn't understand what Grace was referring to. I knew of her precognitive skills, but also knew I would only understand it in parts. It's like the parts Claudia knows, what she says the warehouse tells her. It's never the whole picture. We cannot interfere, Myka. It was only that night that I discovered from Grace that you were bound for the warehouse, but I had to let you find it on your own. When Grace saw me, the first thing she asked, was did I find Jeannie's little girl yet and was the other half found – a force they will make. But be careful of the half: it is lost and dangerous and may be lost forever. Trust her and guide her. The world depends on them. Obviously, she saw the two of you as the whole. In what way none of us knew, nor did we know what the other half was in reference to. It may very well have been Mr. Lattimer or Claudia and may still be, but I think that highly unlikely." Mrs. Frederic offered a rare smile. "It's interesting how we both remember her exact words."
"How lovely to forever be known as dark and dangerous," Helena mumbled, throwing her head back against the sofa.
Myka turned to her sharply. "Sweetie, you're not. Well, maybe a little dangerous when you want to be. I still wonder about the pinky thing." Myka smiled trying to relax the woman beside her. "You're the one that crawled up from the bottom of the pit and found your true self. Few can ever say they overcame so much." Myka pulled her into her side. "So why mom?"
"That's easy, Myka. Have you not figured out the extent of your mother's own senses? Grace knew. You get that from her. You need to observe that more."
"HG is right, Myka," Mrs. Frederic affirmed. "Nothing your aunt did was purposeless. She knew what your mother possessed, especially with you. I think perhaps you block it, or it is intended for Helena alone."
Myka rubbed the bridge of her nose. "So what does this have to do with anything other than a great history lesson on this not really normal relationship I've landed myself into with a really cool job?"
"Your aunt was the crucial catalyst," Elizabeth said. "Her meeting me was no accident. It was after the incident with Joshua's Trumpet. When the bronzed HG Wells was made known to me. You can imagine how I felt when I discovered my lost cousin was bronzed. You see, in my family no one ever had a sufficient answer to what happened to Helena. Charles made up a story of her death while traveling. I discovered through her journals it was an unlikely explanation thus finding the warehouse. I found that woman I had grown to admire in my youth was bronzed with no explanation. There was little information on you, Helena, aside from the cases you worked."
"So that's why we couldn't find anything on her," Myka said to no one in particular.
"Yes. I found the record but there was nothing but a name. No date, no explanation. It was really of very little use to anyone. Few even knew of her existence until Joshua's Trumpet. What little there was I destroyed. Sometimes I wish I hadn't done it, but Grace always assured me I did what needed to be done. She used to catch me talking to you. That's when she told me not to worry. You would be found and you had a purpose beyond anything we could comprehend. She said your existence was intended for the future, not the past in which you were born into. She promised me one day you would find your freedom and your redemption, but it would not be an easy journey. She never said how or what or why. Then, Myka, you popped out into this world. Grace was so taken with you. She loved you at first sight. She told me you were the key. You were the key to Helena's freedom. The last words she ever said to me were they have been tied together by a force greater than us all. Unfortunately, they were said in anger. Only Grace ever knew exactly what she meant." Tears threatened at the corners of Elizabeth's eyes.
"This is all very interesting and all, but I still don't get what this has to do with anything? So here we are, at the warehouse, living our lives in perfect harmony," Myka said getting frustrated. "Sort of."
Softly, Helena spoke up. "Christina's teddy bear and why there is a crate with her name on it in my section of the warehouse. Not to mention a huge, dark cloud hanging over it for nearly nine months now," Helena spat.
Myka's mother's head shot up. "That teddy bear. Is that what all the questions were about? That was your daughter's teddy bear? Christina's?"
"Yes, mom, it is. We've been trying to figure out why we're so connected. You say you sense it. You said so to Helena. Some of Christina's belongings are in a crate in the warehouse. Helena never saved any of Christina's things."
"I burned most of it in anger and grief. I had no use for it and vowed never to again." Helena looked away, fighting her own emotions.
"Yes, the crate. I suppose that would be your main curiosity. As one of the only remaining relatives of the Wells estate, it was my job to keep track of anything relating to HG Wells for the warehouse considering your status. Even in bronze there was a constant vigilance to the outside world. And things did show up. Some of the unidentified crates. A bit cruel I thought, but Grace said it was my destiny. We were in London checking on a new addition to your home when a woman approached us. I was convinced she was only a relative of the woman mentioned in those journals. Grace said no. She was a manifestation and was the real Bridgett. Who was I to argue? It's the warehouse influence. Based on my research on the family and those last journals I determined only Bridgett would have saved anything of Christina's, or had the chance to, before Helena was bronzed when she visited you. Bridgett cared for you far more than you know, I suspect, and was devastated by Christina's loss. Charles was uninterested and it appeared at the time that Caturanga was, regrettably, forced to keep his distance for reasons I myself am unclear about.
"I confirmed the estate did belong to Bridgett's family. Grace was adamant that we go and return the belongings. She said Myka's future depended on it. Both of your futures depended on it. I don't know if that is true, Myka. It was also the first time she ever alluded to there being any real connection between you two. She saw it. Every time she saw you she'd say 'It's meant to be.' I'd ask what and how she knew. She'd just shake her head and say it didn't matter, it just was. So, we bought the items and saw them returned to where Grace said was their proper place; with her mother. She kept the book and gave you the teddy bear. After that we started to clash over what had become her obsession; you and Helena. She was convinced that without the two of you the world would end. Shortly after, I disappeared back to France. Only the highest of Regents knew where I was."
"So Aunt Grace was a Regent too?"
"Yes, Myka, she was," Mrs. Frederic said. "Claudia was very close to finding the answers you wanted. I think most of this you had already guessed, you merely lacked the factual proof. When Claudia started pressuring me, I realized we needed to address the issue before she cracked into things she need not know yet. It still does not solve your own problems with our storm, but it answers your question, Helena. How the crate came to be. You knew it was not originally part of your cargo. It was identified with only her name. No warehouse 12 label is on it because it was never part of the original shipment. Only with hindsight and following warehouse events as a Regent can Elizabeth say without doubt that Grace knew exactly what was going to happen. She felt your connection to the warehouse when she was here herself, and that connection seems to include yet another Bering and Wells relationship."
"Wells and Bering." Myka glared at Helena who provided her with an amused expression. "How much of this did you know?" Helena turned sharply on the caretaker.
"Very little. As I said, what Grace made known on her deathbed may have been construed as ramblings. At the time, none of us could have known what she meant. It had always been like that with her. Even now we are not fully aware of what we know. As time goes on and events unfold it is likely that things said will come back to us."
Myka quickly glanced to her mother with concern. "So does this automatically make my mother 'my one'? I mean, how much can we tell her?"
The woman smiled at Myka's mother. "No, Myka, she's not 'your one'. That is a choice that remains yours alone. She's kept her silence without question or a word from me and was your aunt's confidante. The warehouse gave her a free pass you could say. What you decide to tell her is up to you. You happen to be in a unique situation in which 'your one' need not be 'your one'. It seems to me your mother has made quite an impression on HG and vise versa. I'd think it might be nice to be able to finally share the real HG with someone in your family."
Myka glanced at her still reticent partner. "Helena?"
"Hmm?" She shook herself out of her thoughts, a faint smile slowly appearing. "Oh, yes, of course. I think we have some catching up to do." She turned to Elizabeth, unable to think of her as her cousin. "The estate you said is still in the family?"
"Yes, I live there now. The residence in Paris is long gone now thanks to the second war. There are none left with any ancestral knowledge that I'm aware of. I find that odd. My brother Joseph passed away ten years ago. Neither of us had children. There is no one to take over after I'm gone."
"So I really have no actual family besides you?" Myka watched the unexpected distress wash over her face.
"I'm sorry, Helena, none that have made any claims. As I said, the Wells name has long since been forgotten in connection to the estate. I may have had more than a few things to do about that in an effort to maintain anonymity. If there are, it would be unwise for you to make any contact, myself included. I ask you do not visit the estate. I understand that may be difficult. Being here today was risky enough and I will be leaving soon. I prefer to remain as inconspicuous as possible and not take that risk. I do keep a close eye on you though. I helped Irene create interference when you disappeared. I'm much more effective unknown. I also visit Christina twice a year; her birthday and Christmas. Happy occasions. After your last visit, it would not be the wisest thing for you to do, but perhaps we can work something out."
"No. She's but a shell. She isn't there," she said sadly. Taking Myka's hand she placed both of their hands over her heart. "She's in here." Now smiling brightly into Myka's clear eyes, tears breaking their bounds, she held their hands firmly against her adding, "They both are. I prefer it that way."
Mrs. Frederic stood up. "We should probably be getting you on your way, Elizabeth."
The woman glanced at Helena, a great sadness taking over her previous calm. "One moment, Irene. Is there anything else either of you, or you Jeannie, that you wish to know? You most likely won't see or hear from me again, Helena."
Myka stood up abruptly, almost forgetting to let go of Helena's hand, jerking her slightly. "The letter." She ran up the stairs to the office.
"Did she know what happens now? The next Wells and Bering?"
"Probably. If she said, I didn't realize or understand. There was one thing she said that may or may not make sense to you. I have my own thoughts." The older woman stood and leaned down whispering in her ear. Helena's eyes widened and she backed away quickly, surprised. "She also said, 'Forgiveness is the bridge.' I'm not sure if that helps."
Myka ran down the stairs two at a time, handing the letter over to Elizabeth. "Does this mean anything to you?"
She read through the letter a number of times and smiled handing it back. "Typical Grace. What you don't understand, I can't say. You'll know when it's time. Don't try too hard. You already know what you need to know." When she turned to leave, Helena reached out with her hand, lightly touching her arm and stopping her progress. She turned with a smile and an expectant face.
"Why, if I may ask, was none of this ever explained before?"
"Helena, that you know the answer to as well," she said lifting a single eyebrow.
Helena nodded her head. "It was told when it was time."
"You know more than you think." Without another word the door shut leaving them in the heavy silence of the room.
Helena, Myka and her mother stood staring at the door. A timer in the kitchen went off startling them from their shock induced comas.
Jeannie was the first to react. "That'll be the bread for dinner. I'll put the lasagna in." She slowly left the two behind her, blankly watching her walk away.
"Are you okay?" Myka asked quietly, searching for Helena's hand.
The merest sound of a laugh escaped Helena's lips. "Are you?" She turned her head seeking the depth beyond the daze in Myka's eyes.
"Honestly, I'm not sure. She was my aunt and the big picture is a little much to take in. But the wacky world of the unexplained is nothing new to us. You just met your last known living relative and Christina was your daughter. From what I gather, your little girl is as much a part of the present as she was the past. Just like you. My concern is you."
Still looking straight into her eyes, she caressed the side of Myka's face with cool, slender fingers. "I always will be, won't I? And you will always be mine." She smiled when Jeannie came in with two new glasses and the bottle of cognac. "I think your mother has a lovely suggestion with that bottle, which I will make an exception for at the moment. I would very much like to not think about all of this for now and instead meet your mother again; as the person she knows that didn't know what an electric blanket was and the woman who yelled at her, in a rather embarrassing situation, that I was unfamiliar with Lamaze when I screamed and pushed the bloody bastard out. She was the sweetest, little, bastard child though, when she wasn't acting out her mother's less favorable traits."
Myka gave her a quick hug and turned her around in front of her, still wrapped in her arms. "Mom, I want you to meet the love of my life, Helena Wells. She was born in 1866. I've had a love affair with her since I was five and we have one of the strangest relationships I've ever known. We are so far from normal that normal isn't normal." Her mother beamed from ear to ear and took a good sip of the cognac. "When did you start drinking cognac?" she asked over Helena's shoulder.
"Since I learned my daughter is in love with a woman that was born in 1866 and has very good taste in the drink. Now sit down and have a drink with me and start talking. It's not every day you get to meet the woman your daughter fell in love with at the age of five when her crazy aunt read her a very important book."
She was thirsty. All she wanted was to get a drink of water. Myka's hand grabbed her arm before she was able to swing her legs out of bed. Helena wasn't even sure Myka was actually awake when she'd reached out to her and mumbled those words that seemed to echo in the house so often now, "Are you okay? Where are you going?" Oscar lazily lifted his head from the end of the bed with a big yawn, blinking his eyes.
Gently prying loose the bruising fingers clenching her arm, she kissed the fingers and set the hand back on a pillow. Leaning over, she brushed her lips across the creased forehead. "I'm thirsty. Just going downstairs to get a drink," she answered, smiling when the creases disappeared with a barely discernible, "M'ok." She watched with piqued curiosity when the arm came back, stealing one of her pillows and clutching it to her chest. She smiled. How alike they were in so many ways.
She finished drinking a glass of water when her stomach growled. Oscar mewed softly in agreement. Opting for a bowl of cereal instead of arguing with her stomach until morning she gave Oscar two of his strictly counted daily allowance of treats. She sat on the sofa staring into the flames of the unnecessary fire she indulged in, the bowl resting on her pulled up knees with her heels on the edge of the table. Oscar forcefully pushed his way under her arm purring, walking back and forth until he found just the right spot. Absently petting him, her thoughts spilled randomly with each mechanical spoon full of cereal. As shocking as the initial meeting with her cousin had been, and her surprising unpleasant reaction, they seemed to have easily come to terms with the events. Even Myka's mother had taken everything in stride, thoroughly enjoying their time that evening. She smiled at the thought of her last words before going to bed, leaving the two alone. She'd turned at the bottom of the stairs, smiling brightly. "I don't care who you are. If you're HG or Helena or anyone else. You'll always be my Pumpkin."
But it was still changing, and rapidly. She felt it tonight. They both acknowledged Pete's freak thing had come back stronger than before and it was changing. She wasn't able to figure out when or how. She'd assumed it was just its seemingly constant gradual mutation and had happened over time. Now she wasn't sure. Was Abigail right that they might possibly be controlling it?
It was most noticeable at night. In their sleep there was no conscious wall set against the other, their minds flowing freely. Tonight she knew Myka wasn't awake when her hand landed soundly on her arm. She'd never opened her eyes but her aim was true. She was soundly sleeping when she'd grabbed Myka's robe before coming downstairs. How many times did she wake from a nightmare to discover Myka was awake and waiting with no other explanation than 'she knew'? She herself had woken up suddenly for no apparent reason feeling unsettled and wary before Myka's last nightmare.
They had changed. They anticipated each other more often and sooner. She was more sensitive to Myka's emotions as if they were her own. Myka never said, but she knew it was the same for her. At times it was painfully strong and she found herself consciously trying to block out what was constantly being bombarded into her own mixed up emotions. Was it temporary or would they battle what had always been a comfort for the rest of their lives?
They were drawn to each other more; mentally, emotionally, and physically. They needed each other more. They unconsciously touched more. She fought a conceited grin. Myka was right. Their sex life had gone spastically into overdrive. Maybe she was right and there was something wrong with them. How could wanting to make love to her be wrong? It wasn't just sex, was it? It never had been. She loved her and loved touching her. No one's touch had left her feeling so fulfilled and loved. The hours they spent just touching and exploring for no other reason. No goals. Just closeness. If she had to choose it would be that over any earth shattering orgasm. It was something foreign to her in that former life. This life was so much better. She smiled again taking her bowl into the kitchen.
Turning the flames off, she glanced at the few photos on the mantel reaching for Christina's, caressing the thin glassed surface as she always did. She found herself smiling back at the happy face, so full of joy and ready to continue causing havoc in the best of ways. She wondered could she do it again. Did she have the energy or the desire? Myka hadn't said anything more about having children. She'd said what she had to say and listened back. It may never be in their future but it had done one very important thing. She started talking more about the happy times with Christina and less of the horror. And Myka listened and freely asked questions. And smiled and laughed with her. And cried with her in her arms. With one last stroke across the face she returned the photo and headed for bed, Oscar trotting beside her jumping the last two steps ahead and taking a running leap to the bed. He turned to watch her with big happy eyes, expectant, purring loudly. She picked him up giving his tush a light push out the door. He gave her an indignant look. "Sorry, little man," she whispered. "Sometimes mommies just don't share well. I'd think you'd be used to this by now. Go sleep with grandmom."
Myka was on her side, a pillow left behind. Helena crawled in behind her, dropping her arm around her waist. She nuzzled the spot between Myka's shoulder blades inhaling deeply, listening to her sigh in her sleep. Her thoughts still traveling unchecked, her fingers lightly traced up and down the length of Myka's torso settling splayed against her lower abdomen. Her wandering thoughts took over and she smiled against Myka's shoulder, leaving soft kisses behind. Her hand swept up over the lean torso brushing against Myka's nipple, softly holding the weight of the breast in her hand. Immediately responsive, Helena grinned, brushing her thumb once again across the already hardening nipple. Myka sighed again, eyes closed. Leaning on her arm, Helena watched the sleeping face slowly wake up. Lips parted with a raspy breath as she continued her exploration, buttocks flexing against her.
"What are you doing?" Myka gasped, moaning into the pillow she'd stolen earlier.
"Imagining." Helena leaned over taking the nipple between her lips, her tongue appreciating every nuance.
Myka swallowed another moan, rolling on her back. Her hands threaded through Helena's hair, pulling her head up for a warm kiss. Eyes still closed, a smile twitching at the corners of her mouth she asked, "Imagining what?"
Helena's hand traveled lower again resting at its origin. "Are you sure you want to know?" She smiled against Myka's lips before kissing her again.
"Mmm. I've always enjoyed your imagination."
"Is that so?" Her hand returned to her breasts. "I was imagining how beautiful you'd be pregnant."
Myka's eyes slowly opened. "What? As big as a hippo with big, heavy breasts?"
A devilish smile crossed Helena's face when she looked down into Myka's eyes. "You did say you were willing and I find the vision suddenly very appealing." She settled across Myka's torso, her hands never losing their interest.
"If it ever happens," Myka sucked in her breath, "I'll be sure to remind you of this moment."
"I'd rather make sure you remembered it." Helena laughed. "Oscar's been kicked out for the night and we have plenty of pillows. You have at least one extra I see. You might find you'll need it."
"And my mother?"
"I believe she has plenty of her own, but she's not the one that needs them. Besides, I think she's gotten quite used to it now."
"Well, she can feed Oscar breakfast then. I thought we learned the need for pillows was a waste of energy better spent elsewhere. I think we should find out who needs a pillow. Just please don't get a cramp this time. She'll never let us live it down."
Chapter Text
"Why do you keep stealing my robe first thing in the morning before I get up? Or any other time for that matter. You could just put clothes on like you used to. Or, why not get your own robe? You know, you did get that for me in the first place. We'll ignore the fact it was kind of an inappropriately intimate gift at the time. Not that I argued any. Ever think for once that may actually mean something to me?" She paused her rambling under watchful, amused eyes for a moment in thought, desperately trying to ignore the enticing view and poach an egg. "Silly me. I need to get another one, because in reality, I've lost mine to you. It's the sweatshirt scenario all over again except this was a gift! Better yet, YOU can get me another one to make up for taking what you gave me!"
She tore her eyes away from the gradually loosening robe, watching the water not coming up to temperature soon enough. A watched pot, she thought. The pot is cruel.
"You do know it's too big for you and it doesn't do a great job in covering up...things." An eyebrow lifted in response. Myka's eyes narrowed. "Of course you do. It's the button thing all over again. I can't believe you sat with my mother at the table like that while she ate her breakfast! You could have at least woken me up instead of sneaking away." An impish grin shined on her. "Helena, you're not wearing anything under it!"
"I like it because it smells like you. You needed the sleep and it was tightly closed at the time, my dear." She jumped up onto the counter, the robe loosening more in the process. "Besides, if I'd woken you up I wouldn't have enjoyed such a spectacular good morning."
"Very funny," Myka scoffed, staring at the water. "Why do you keep sitting on the counter? I'll never forgive Claudia. Everyone has corrupted you!" Myka turned from the stove, spoon in hand. "What happened to my lovely far from perfecting very confused Victorian I fell in love with?"
"Hmmm…for a great many reasons. Oddly enough, none of which you seem to have figured out yet." She glanced over her cup, her bare feet swing, and a sly smile creeping over her face from behind it. "It's rather nice to watch you from here and it sets me at a perfect height. It offers a whole new perspective of appreciation. I urge you to try it sometime." She leaned back tapping Myka's leg with her bare toe. "Your mother said she was going for a walk. I've noticed she goes for very long walks and I don't think it's a mere coincidence. She is a very perceptive woman, your mother."
She set her cup down when Myka made no offer of responding. Extending her leg, she hooked her foot around Myka's waist, drawing her into the corner she sat in.
"Very well. Reason number one." She wrapped her legs around Myka, pulling her in tightly. Taking the spoon from her hand, she set it to the side with her cup. "Turn off the stove." Myka reached over, floundering with the dials, never taking her eyes off of the daring smile locked on her. Helena wrapped her arms loosely around Myka's neck. She leaned forward leaving a trail of kisses to Myka's ear, swirling her tongue around the edge.
"Reason number two," Helena whispered in the wet ear before tugging its lobe gently with her teeth. Firmly cupping Myka's face, she pulled it forward, diligently tasting her lips.
"Reason number three." She kissed Myka soundly, demanding entry. Continuing to kiss her with one hand wrapped around Myka's neck, she dropped her other hand down between them pulling the tie of the loose robe, letting it fall open. She took one of Myka's hands hanging mutely at her side and brought it up to her breast underneath the robe.
"Reason number four," she breathed, closing her eyes and lightly stroke her nose across Myka's throat.
"Need I keep counting?" she purred.
Myka's other hand came to join its mate. "No. I think I can take it from here." She feathered her hands down Helena's sides to her hips, pulling her forward slightly. "You could have just said something."
"Aaaah, but the journey is quite often equally enjoyable as the discovery." Her head fell back against the cupboard door with a soft thud.
Lips brushed the length of Helena's neck to her collarbone, her tongue tracing its indentations. Myka stopped when she hit the scar and the small bump of the plate. No flinch. She traced it again, nipped it lightly, soothing it with her tongue. Nothing. Smiling profusely, Myka brought her head back, forcefully kissed Helena and returned to her collarbone. "Helena," she swallowed, "It's official. Just sit back and enjoy."
"Hey! It's Momma B.!" Claudia exclaimed, putting her cup in the dishwasher. "Where are Myka and HG? I thought they'd be with you. Myka texted me last night about giving you a tour today, per Mrs. Frederic."
"Oh, let's just say the apple doesn't seem to fall far from the tree. Myka over slept HG and Oscar reluctantly spent most of the night with me. A very disheveled and glowing Helena sleepily joined my quiet breakfast with Oscar and aimlessly chatted with me while wearing only Myka's too big robe sporting a remarkable hickey that I'm sure she has no knowledge of, and have determined is rarely much of a concern of hers. Myka, finally wandered down with a very friendly and demonstrative good morning before she noticed I was there. At which point, she dropped her coffee cup on the kitchen floor stuttering nonsense, as red as can be, while Helena sat by calmly with a smug smile on her face. I decided that I'll be taking a very long walk this morning. So, if now is a good time, I understand you're the one nominated as tour director." She smiled brightly, winking.
Claudia was speechless at Myka's mother's frankness and stood frozen with her mouth wide open. "Uh, yeah. They can be…um…especially lately…and HG's not...uh, really…um…and you're Myka's mom and…um, falling apples...trees...So…right. About that tour. Right this way."
"I have a feeling you could tell a few stories or two." Myka's mother laughed at Claudia's discomfort. "We'll have to compare notes sometime when I need a good bribe."
"Momma B., I'm liking you more and more every day, once I get past the whole apple and the tree part. How long are you staying again? You might want to consider a room over here, unless you're having too much fun embarrassing your daughter." Claudia glanced at her when they got settled in the car. "Oh, man. You so totally are! Between you and Doc V. they don't stand a chance."
"Well, Claudia, as they say, payback is a bitch. It's a parent's revenge. We earn it. It wouldn't be so much fun if Myka didn't still changes colors like a kaleidoscope and Helena doesn't seem to be phased a bit, unless a cramp is involved. I'm slowly finding out more and more and everything is starting to make sense. I can only imagine the arguments those two have." She laughed as they pulled up outside the warehouse.
Snickering, Claudia opened the door. "Boy, do I have something to show you and an awesome story to go with it."
Claudia made sure to hit the main attractions and they found themselves wandering. Like Myka, her mother was fascinated with the library. The whole time she examined the place, Claudia stood stiffly to the side trying not to laugh. One day she might get the chance to tell the woman one of the main attractions of the room. She figured by this time in the tour, she'd probably laugh, unsurprised, but decided to hold onto it for another visit.
"You really tricked her into helping you make the, what did you call it?" Myka's mother was still laughing.
"Cold storage or the cage. Yep. 'Revenge is a dish best served cold' she said. Hey, she woke me at two a.m.! Seemed fair to me. It's not like I haven't spent time in there, usually with HG…or Artie. I'll tell you another secret. HG sent Artie and Vanessa there not too long ago. It's an unsaid rule none of us break. Someone says you go…you go. I thought for sure Artie was ready to send HG back to the bronzer. Actually, that's not really so funny." She sobered. "If it's okay, I really don't want to show you that."
"I'm alright with that, Claudia. I'm not quite sure of all the implications behind it yet, but in time I have a feeling I'll end up knowing more than I would have otherwise wanted to."
They wandered closer to the storm cloud, darkening over the past few days. Claudia would show certain items, explain the connections, myths and drawbacks. She amused her with the many incidents they'd all experienced leaving the woman in tears with laughter. Before she knew it they were standing in front of the open gate.
"This is the HG Wells section, full of some of the neatest inventions ever. She really is a genius, you know. It's somehow also a storage place for all their crap." Myka's mother gave her an odd look. "Yeah, Myka's stuff ended up here too. I keep bugging them to clean out the non-warehouse stuff, but," she looked up, "they've been a little preoccupied by other things."
Her mother started walking through the gate. "Uh, no one else can get in there, at least not…" she watched Jeannie walk through easily, "without them," Claudia ended weakly.
Myka's mother walked among the belongings spread across the floor, rocked the cradle, picked up the books, stroking them gently. She looked up at Claudia on the other side of the gate who'd gotten one shock already for getting too close. "Christina's?" she called to the exit.
"Yeah. They kept, um, escaping the crate? HG finally gave up and left them there one day and stomped off. I'm not sure when she was last here. I think they both decided to leave it be and let what happens happen. They're just waiting."
Under Claudia's curious eye, Jeannie picked up the doll in the rocking cradle, smiling. She felt a chill as she started to place the doll back in the now still cradle and paused. "You okay, Momma B.?"
Not answering, the woman turned to the crate and ran her hand down the side. It was nailed shut, the hammer carelessly left behind on the floor. She walked out of the area stiffly, all humor gone. "I think we should leave now, Claudia. I don't think they'll be waiting much longer."
"Huh?" Claudia quickened her pace to catch up with the older woman. "She hasn't said anything to me. The warehouse that is."
"I don't think she would. It has nothing to do with her and everything to do with them. Grace saw it coming all along. I wonder what else she knew? I won't be going home tomorrow." She slowed her pace.
"As in Myka's Aunt Grace?"
"Never mind that, Claudia. Now, is everyone home? Maybe we can have a nice big, family meal. I hear HG is horrible at Trivial Pursuit. I don't know why that would be." She chuckled to herself. "Maybe we can throw in a game or two."
"I love the way you think, Momma B. Can I adopt you?" Claudia begged. "Do you like burritos? 'Cause Steve makes the best. My amazing Jersey boy."
"Oh! Look, Myka. The orchard oriole is back. Bit early, isn't it?" Helena's arm rested on Myka's shoulder, pointing to the tree behind their bedroom. Myka's eyes followed the direction of the arm, her hand blocking the sun from her eyes.
"Never kept track of his in flight movies. I've missed waking up to him," Myka said lazily from the comfort of Helena's body behind her, closing her eyes again when Helena's hand returned to playing with her hair. "This really was a nice anniversary gift Steve made for us."
"Darling, we don't have an anniversary. Not really. I guess our move in here was the best they could come up with. I still don't understand why they insisted we have one. It was sweet of him though. A bit presumptuous with its size, don't you think?"
A quiet snort escaped Myka as she settled her head more comfortably on Helena's stomach. "Not really. I think we've given him more than enough reasons to be presumptuous. Insightful is more of what I was thinking. Why do you think he was so adamant about lining the patio with a fast growing hedge? You've corrupted me."
"Does it still bother you? This racing sex drive we seem to have."
"After last night and this morning I'd rather not think about it right now and just enjoy it. Definitely thankful mom takes long walks." She rolled onto her side, giggling. "Your stomach is loud today." Helena's hand slid under the loose shirt, her fingers playing across the warm skin. "Does it bother you?"
Myka sat listening to the returned oriole patiently waiting for an answer and fighting the sleep Helena's fingers were inducing in the warm sun. She could smell the first hint of flowers mingling with the scent that she only recognized as Helena. Soon they'd be anxious to get the herbs planted and the roses along the back wall would be overpowering the patio with their warm scent.
"I'm not entirely sure." Myka rolled over on her stomach raising herself on her forearms watching the thoughts flash through her lovers eyes. Her cheek was caressed softly, smiling eyes now returning her gaze. "If I thought it was nothing more than just sex and a way to appease my needs, I'd say yes. That was another life. With you it's different. My needs are entirely different. I need you. And I don't mean just sex. Making love to you…it's the closest I can get to absorbing you. I love you. I love touching you, and having you touch me. I feel everything with you, Myka and it has absolutely nothing to do with the end results." She tipped her head to the side, brushing back a loose strand of Myka's hair and resting a palm against her face. "I love you. It's the best I can come up with."
"So, you don't like the end results?" Myka smiled wryly. "Haven't heard any complaints. At least not an hour ago I didn't."
Helena's laughter mingled with the clear voice of the oriole leading the other birds in chorus. "I have no complaints at all with such results. Magnificent, sweetheart. But, Myka, I need you to understand, I've never once allowed, nor wanted to fall asleep in another's arms, nor did I wish to wake with another in my arms. With you…that's the key. Yes, I thoroughly enjoy sex, especially with you," she added with a smirk, "but it is knowing I will fall asleep with you that makes the difference no matter how lustful the intentions are. The key is being with you afterwards, like this. In my mind that is making love to you. That's what separates you from all others and why I never sought out any lovers, Michael included. I had a long time to think between these lives of mine about what I truly wanted. It was only confirmed the first time I fell asleep on your bed. I felt something so full and complete like never before. How often afterwards I prayed it would happen again."
"Oh, so now your secret comes out," Myka teased her. "Notice I never woke you up and kicked you out when you did?" She smiled into surprised brown eyes. "It wasn't just you. I just didn't understand it like you did. I just knew it was nice when you were there." Myka looked away for a minute in the silence. "I saw Abigail before I left last. She was just checking in. Personally, I think it's this damned bond. The stronger it gets…It's not much different for me either, Helena." She ducked her head, thinking, Helena's hand never leaving her head. "I've thought about it a lot. Abigail made some good points. It's natural to need to express ourselves in the most intimate ways when we're coming and going so much, and we have an added history; your unpredictable absences, almost losing you, almost losing us. There's a good chance our needs are a little hard-wired and the extra strong freaky part makes it even more so. She also said that when couples talk about children there is a little phenomenon that goes with it, not much unlike certain biological influences."
"We have not discussed our mythical children recently."
"No, but we think about it a lot. I do. I think you do too. Last night's imagination says something."
"I thought I showed a great deal of imagination." She grinned into the serious eyes.
"Don't change the topic. You don't really think of Christina as your bastard child, do you?" Myka cocked her head, the odd questioning contorting her face.
"Of course not! She was MY child. That's all that mattered. Sweetheart, why do you ask such a thing?" She continued stroking Myka's face, soothing the confusion and hurt.
Myka looked away, embarrassed by her question. "Yesterday. It's the first time I've ever heard you refer to her as a bastard child."
"Ah. Yes. I was attempting to add humor to that rather embarrassing event at your parents' with your apparently highly amused mother. It was not meant in specific reference to her. She was never a bastard child to me. And yes, I do think about it more. Our own children."
Myka looked back again, a penetrating gaze searching Helena's eyes. "I know. I can see it on your face, and thank you freakiness, I feel it. Have you noticed you always say children, not child?" She set her head down against her again, leaving Helena to her own thoughts, smiling at the rumbles under her ear.
"Myka," she said, so softly Myka could barely hear her, "I need to learn to block you out. It's too overwhelming for me at times. I don't want to have to fight it, but it is becoming too much sometimes."
"Me too." Myka kissed the tender part of the inner wrist of the hand that touched her. "I've been wondering. It's hard to have two people's emotions and thoughts blending together. I hope Abigail is right and we will be able to control it."
Myka resumed her former position and they lay in silence. Oscar came out of nowhere jumping between their legs. He settled in with his head across Helena's leg, tail twitching occasionally, watching the birds.
"Well, there you are, little man. Got kicked out of the house or grandmom is on her way back?" Helena wiggled her foot to get his attention. "Myka, something confuses me. Those journals Elizabeth found. How could she admire the person in those journals? Those are the only records I know of documenting exactly what happened to Christina's killers, what led up to it and the events after."
"I think she could read between the lines. She saw the person between the pain and anger. She understood Grace for the most part as much as I think anyone could and I know she knows exactly what that letter says." She reached back for Helena's hand. "What are you going to do with them?"
"Destroy them," she said frankly. "There is far too much information about the warehouse in them and many artifacts as well."
"It's not because of who you were?"
Oscar tired of his job and crawled up over them, head butting Helena. She scratched his head, taking the question in serious consideration until he settled in with his rear over Myka's shoulder, his other half on Helena kneading on her chest.
"Ouch! Damn it, Oscar, that hurts." She set him on the ground. Glaring at her, he wandered into the sun, rolling around in the dirt. "No." She finally said, smiling over the cat's antics. "The warehouse must be protected. I won't risk them getting lost again."
Sitting straight up, Helena was wide awake. Myka grumbled at being shoved aside, pushing herself up on both elbows, squinting at the stiff body. "What's wrong?" she asked, surprised she hadn't sensed any unease in her sleep and already woken up. She looked at the clock. They hadn't been asleep that long.
Helena didn't respond. She threw her legs over the side of the bed getting her bearings for a moment before dashing over to the dresser, pulling on clothes as quickly as possible. Myka pushed down the panic in her stomach, sitting up on her knees watching the unresponsive whirlwind. "Helena," she said sternly, "What's wrong? Talk to me."
"Warehouse. Now."
Myka jumped out of bed, running a hand through her hair in an attempt to get it out of her face, rummaging for her own clothes. Helena was already heading down the stairs.
"Helena, wait!" Myka yelled at the top of the stairs, bouncing on one foot desperately trying to get the last sock on, nearly tripping over the cat. "Damn it, Oscar, learn to get out of the way. Wait for me, damn it! Mom!"
"No time," Helena said from the front door, grabbing the car keys from the table. The door slammed shut, mocking Myka at the top of the stairs where her mother met her.
"Arrgh. I hate when she does things like this. Why does she never listen to me?" She turned to her mother before jumping down the stairs. "Mom, I need you."
Myka grabbed her jacket and jumped into an anonymous pair of shoes, not bothering to tie them and was soon slipping over the kitchen floor on the trail of wet she brought with her from the rain. Tripping over a shoe lace, she tumbled forward on her knees swearing. "We are so getting another car." She tied the laces and headed up the stairs two at a time waking the house with heavy steps. Claudia jumped in her chair as her door slammed open.
"What happened to knocking on doors?" she complained loudly.
"I need your car keys," Myka said breathless.
Claudia opened a drawer of her desk grabbing the keys without question. "What's wrong? I'm driving. You're not."
Still breathless, she managed two words. "Helena. Warehouse."
Pete, Steve and Abigail were in the hallway making their way towards the commotion, Pete speaking first as he slid to a stop at Claudia's door, nearly colliding with the two women. "What's going on?"
Myka was already heading down the stairs.
"Not sure yet. I kind of get the idea Helena just took off to the warehouse by herself so Myka needs a taxi. Steve, you're coming with us and no I don't know why...it's like a freak thing or something. All act no talk. Everyone else go back to bed."
"Claudia!" Myka yelled from the bottom of the stairs.
"And this taxi isn't moving fast enough." She headed down the staircase yelling back, "I'll call if I need you!"
"Bullshit," Pete mumbled. "Ten minutes, Abigail. I drive."
Pete and Abigail were the last to stumble in, surrounding the computer screen.
"Holy crap," Myka whispered. She pushed through the mob and was halfway down the stairs before the door shut behind her. The cries and moans behind her when the screen went blank never registered.
She came to a screeching halt outside the gate trying to comprehend what she saw. Helena stood frozen in place, tears falling onto the floor, the wet spots spreading over the concrete floor. She wasn't sure yet what to make of the other figure in front of her. Cautiously, she walked through the gate towards the figure, stopping when it turned to her.
"Hello, Myka. I've been waiting for you. I need your help."
Slowly taking one step at a time she continued towards the figure. "Okay…this is really happening…I'm not dreaming…"
"No, you are not dreaming this time."
The cloud above rumbled, static charges flashing across the warehouse.
She quickly glanced away. "Helena, are you okay?"
"I can't get to her, Myka," she cried, reaching out.
"Christina?" Myka asked timidly. Reaching out her hand the figure took it. Myka was surprised to find it so warm. "You're the reason for all of this?"
"Not entirely. You've broken a great many barriers to get this far. No one could help you with that. The warehouse guided you, as did your family, but the work was yours alone."
"Why can't she come to you? Why can I?"
"You promised me that night; always. You'll keep her safe. You love her and she is yours to love. She's allowed you to when she never would anyone before. She was lost and you found her. You'd have kept me safe too, just as she did."
"I couldn't keep you safe! I lost you," Helena cried from a distance.
Not knowing why, Myka came up behind the girl and hugged her tightly. Filled with warmth and love, she looked up at Helena. "Helena, you can do this. You have to do this. I don't know why or how, but you have to do this."
"I'm trying! I can't hear. All the noise behind me hurts."
"Helena, don't you see? It's the dreams. We knew they weren't random and we knew there was a reason they differed. You have to do it." Myka started crying. "Think, Helena."
"Mummy, your fate is only sealed by you. Change the rules. Break your seal. Your future depends on it. I love you."
"How can you possibly love me? How can you possibly love someone that became what I became? The horrible things I've done. I couldn't save you. I've hurt so many in horrible, horrible ways."
"It's alright, mummy. It's a time long gone. You've been told to do the rest for the one you love, like you would for me. You loved me. I forgive you."
"I can hear them all…screaming." She turned away from the sight of Myka hugging her daughter, tears blurring her sight, turning towards the screams. That's where she belonged.
A quiet voice stood beside her, a soft hand on her shoulder. Myka's mother stood there. Helena fell into her arms.
"No, Helena. It's time to turn away from the past. The screaming is only in your head. They're long gone, Pumpkin. Look forward. It's time for you to forgive yourself. Listen to what Elizabeth told you. Forgiveness is the bridge. It's your bridge to freedom. Forgive yourself and cross over to them. Christina needed you in the past, but my daughter needs you now and in her future."
"But…"
Jeannie held her up by her arms shaking her slightly. "No buts," she said sternly. Then more softly, "You've made it this far. It's time to finish it. Now go. You have the strength."
She faced her daughter trying to take a step. Myka reached out to her with Christina.
"Helena, I forgave you a long time ago. Everyone has. It's time. You can't change the past, but you can change your future. Please? I need you. I need you whole."
"Mummy, I forgive you."
She turned her head towards the screaming then looked into Jeannie's soft eyes.
"Pumpkin, I have nothing to forgive you for. I have everything to thank you for. Whatever it is, whatever it was, the two most important people in your life forgive you. Go to them."
"Mummy, please. We forgive you."
Helena stepped forward slowly, the screaming behind her quieting. She kept going forward. Unlike the dream she didn't fall into darkness and found herself wrapped by two sets of loving arms. Helena turned her head to where she'd stood. Jeannie was gone. She looked at the gate and caught the last sight of her back turning a corner. She fell to her knees, holding the child to her, crying. "Christina. My sweet girl. Have you been making this mess?" Helena scolded her lightly as she always had in the past.
"You weren't paying attention," the girl said shyly.
"Why? How are you here?"
"My life was not complete until your future met its past. Myka loves you." Myka leaned down now to kneel beside her partner wrapping an arm around her waist. "In her own way she loves me too. You share me with her now. She laughs with you and asks about me. She wants to know me as you did and for you to remember me for me."
"And our storm?" Myka asked glancing above at the rumbling dark.
"That's the warehouse. It feels your unrest. Claudia knows you are forever connected to her." She turned to her mother. "You saved her when you saved the one you loved. It was your destiny, but you sealed your fate at the same time. You were given a second chance to forgive yourself. You broke the seal."
"What was her fate?" Myka asked out of curiosity. "Has it changed?"
The girl smiled. "Oh yes, it has! You deserve happiness. Your fate…death for one or the other. I don't know how or when, but soon. One cannot survive without the other. The warehouse needs you both as one."
Myka swallowed loudly. "Okay, I think I'm liking this new version better."
"It's time. I can leave now."
"Now what?" Myka asked suddenly.
The girl smiled directly at Myka with the same smile she saw everyday on Helena's nightstand. "'If you don't know where you are going any road can take you there'."
Helena caught Myka off guard with a jubilant laugh, smiling back at the impish girl. "That's my Christina. Such a smart girl. Why Alice and not the other?"
The girl laughed back. "Myka doesn't like Alice. It got her attention. You told me sometimes nonsense is the only thing that makes sense. The other one is yours. Only the important people need to know. Those are the ones you love. No one else matters. I must go now."
The vision finally came back to Helena. "Christina, who are Grace and Thomas?" Myka gave her an odd look. "That dream I could never remember. Christina, you asked for Grace and Thomas. Who are they?"
The girl shook her head. "I don't know. That's for you to find out. Mummy, change the rules. They don't apply here. With the seal undone, you can be more than one again. It's alright. It makes me happy."
The girl backed out of their arms. She turned to Myka. "You promise to always take care of her?"
"Yes. Always. I always have and I protect what is mine. I promise."
"I know. I've watched. You love her. She will always be yours, no one else's. Don't worry so much." She turned to her mother. "I forgive you. I know you tried. The screaming will stop now and you will sleep. The dark I cannot stop. You've been forgiven. I love you, but she loves you differently. It's time for you to let go of me. Look forward. You have so much more to give if that is what you wish. It's alright."
She turned from them and started to walk deep down the aisle. She turned one last time. "I love you, mummy. Be happy." She continued down the aisle fading away.
Myka watched uncertainly as the figure disappeared. A loud thunder roared through the storm above their heads and the clouds slowly started to disappear. She turned to Helena expecting the worst. Instead, she saw a calm she'd never seen before and a smile slowly appeared. "You really were feeling her all this time. It wasn't just what you wanted. It was real."
Tears joined the smile as Helena turned into Myka's warm hug. "She always was a smart child," Helena laughed against her chest.
"Are you telling me you really understand everything that just happened?" Myka asked incredulous into the dark hair against her.
"Not at all, darling, not at all. We will when the time is right." She kissed Myka lightly. "Let's go home. Your mother is waiting." She looked to the gate where Myka's mother stood quietly waiting.
Taking Helena's hand, Myka walked up to her mother. "You knew, didn't you?"
"No, but I knew something when Claudia brought me here. I was allowed to come in and Claudia wasn't. I felt something and Mrs. Frederic said you'd need me." She paused in wonderment at the ease that Helena seemed to feel. "Did you make the doll, Pumpkin?"
Helena looked back to the cradle where she knew the doll rested. "No. None such as that. It was a gift when she when she was three. I'm not sure how it survived her childhood, but she always took great care with it."
"I thought so. I sent everyone away when the camera went down. It's up to you what you want to tell them. Let's go drink some of that cognac. I kind of like it."
They sat up until three, mostly in silence until Helena fell asleep in Myka's arms. Under her mother's protests and concerns of hurting herself, Myka picked her up and carried her to bed. Helena never woke up and moved over to Myka like a magnet without waking.
The shifting on the bed woke her as Helena got out of bed and grabbed Myka's robe.
Myka started to follow. "Helena?"
She turned seeing the concern in Myka's tired eyes in the small light on the dresser. She switched it off leaving only a light glow from the two night lights in the walls. "That should suffice. I'm fine. I'm just..." she looked around confused. "I'm just going to go downstairs for a bit. Go back to sleep, love. Maybe some time alone."
Myka watched her leave the room and listened to the soft pad of feet going down the stairs. She stood at the top of the stairs, listening to the refrigerator open, the placing of a pan put on the stove and the soft click of the burner lighting the flame. She leaned her head against the wall with a resigned sigh, listening.
"Myka, go to her," her mother said softly, startling her.
Myka shook her head. "No. It doesn't feel right inside. She wants to be alone."
Her mother looked up into her eyes in silence for the longest time. "Maybe, Myka, it's a test. I don't understand anything about this bond you two told me about, but don't depend so much on that connection. You functioned well enough without it. I know your emotional side. Oddly, Grace was the same way. Your job forces you to push it away. In this home, she's not your coworker. Think from here." She placed a gentle, wise hand against her daughter's heart. "Maybe the point is to know when to ignore that bond. Most of the time when someone says they want to be alone it's actually the opposite."
Searching her mother's kind face she hugged the woman. "Thanks, mom. I didn't know how much I missed you – or dad. I love you."
"I know. Now go to her."
Myka nodded at her before heading down the stairs. Helena fell into the comfort of her arms on the sofa and finally cried, not just for what she'd lost but for what she'd gained and what she had yet to look forward to.
The storm door slammed behind her almost catching Oscar on her heels. Helena leaned down scooping him up in mid-stride. "I'm sorry, Oscar. You'll need to learn to speed things up with that door if you insist on following me everywhere. It's a tad bit annoying you know, having to worry about a furry shadow," she chastised the cat as she dashed up the stairs. Oscar sprang out of her arms to the bed and jumped into Myka's open bag.
"I thought you were leaving tomorrow," she said from the door, catching her breath. "Oscar seems to have his own opinion on the matter."
"Well, he gets you alone for a few days. I thought he'd be doing his little happy dance." Myka laughed, picking him up for a quick cuddle. She held him, staring into his green eyes. "I'm reminding you, mister, she's still mine. Just because I'm willing to share doesn't mean you can get any big ideas while I'm gone. So, you better take care of her for me. Got it?" He blinked at her, squirmed and jumped back into her bag. She turned to the woman in the door laughing over the interaction. "Things escalated over night and Artie agreed with me that Pete and I should head out now and we'll wing it as usual. We hoped to get more to go on...What are you laughing at?"
"You and Oscar. He misses you as well. He never really settles until you get home." The cat peeked over the bag at the mention of his name and hopped out. Springing high into the air, he landed gracefully on Helena's shoulders, purring loudly.
"Uh-huh. That's why he's whispering sweet nothings in your ear. That's my job, furball!" Myka shook her head. "I would have never believed you'd love a cat."
"I don't like cats. I love Oscar. Two entirely different things, darling." She set him down walking over into Myka's outstretched arms. "Mmmm. I miss you already. It's going to be a long one, isn't it?"
"Not if I can help it, but it seems a little tricky this time. Work with Artie and Claudia up top. I'll tell him to send out Sarah and Steve or the new guy that's supposed to get here if he needs to. It's always nicer knowing you're there and I think you have more expertise when it comes to Victorian artifacts. Worst case scenario, you get to come play too. Although, from my point of view that would be a bonus." She let her go and finished packing the bag.
"What's this?" Helena asked picking up the Farnsworth, opening it up to see Claudia's alterations. "Artie really did it. He finally gave you your own special Farnsworth, just like his. Now you're really tied. You had to become someone important, didn't you?" She laughed, followed by a surprised squeal when Myka pushed her back on the bed.
"Now there's my secret Emily. Yes, he did. The little rat. I tried to avoid it." She kissed Helena into a sedated silence. "I wish I had more time. You taste way too good."
"That's what you said last night." Helena sighed with a smile spreading across her face, threading her fingers through Myka's hair. "Actually, you may have said it this morning, as well. I love you."
Kissing her quickly one more time, Myka pushed herself off the bed with a loud groan. She gazed on the woman before her laid out on their still rumpled bed.
"Helena, I want it back," Myka said quietly.
Sitting up slowly, Helena searched her face and said softly, "It doesn't feel right."
"Maybe my mother is right. It's more important to know when to ignore the freak and not depend on it to survive. We both know where that ring belongs. Just think about it, please?" She kissed her quickly. "I've got to go. I love you. 'The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched.'"
Helena smiled back. "'They are felt with the heart.' Stay safe."
"Please," she whispered in the silence of the room when the door shut. Oscar nudged her hand with a hard, wet nose, purring loudly. She let out a heavy sigh, scratching his head. "It's just you and me kid, and before you get any ideas, her pillows are mine."
"If you don't know where you are going any road can take you there." - Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
"The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince
Chapter Text
Myka sauntered across the room running her hand through her hair, fatigued from the mission with Pete. Hearing the rustling at the top of the stairs she glanced up and immediately let go of her bag.
"Holy shit," she said in a whisper. Her mouth dropped open and she froze.
"Is it that awful?" Helena asked, instantly losing any confidence she'd been able to build. This shouldn't be this hard, she thought. Vanessa claimed if she wasn't nervous it wasn't meant to be.
Myka tried to get her mouth to work. She couldn't remember the last time she saw Helena in a dress let alone one that oozed such restrained sensuality. "Uh…no…it's…uh…really…I mean…you're…it's…damn…you're...you're so...beautiful," she stammered climbing up the stairs slowly, regaining her balance with each step.
"The color is okay? I didn't think white was appropriate and red is definitely not an appropriate color in my particular case," Helena started to babble, still fidgeting with the dusty rose dress they'd found it in her personal belongings in the warehouse. With Abigail's help, it was redesigned into an understated sleeveless formal gown for a mission a month earlier. Despite its age, Abigail had fitted it into an evening gown that rivaled any other at the occasion, yet retained its original design. Helena refused to reveal the original designer as Abigail sputtered about destroying a piece of history through the whole process and why couldn't they just get something else until Helena reminded her that she herself was a piece of walking history, the damn dress wasn't serving any purpose gathering dust and just make sure she could breath.
"I love that dress," Myka whispered in awe. Halfway up the stairs, she stopped, wary of Helena's rare show of apprehension. "Wait a minute, appropriate for what? Helena, what's going on?" she asked slowly in a soft voice.
"Yes, well, I guess I have gotten a bit ahead of myself." She took a deep breath. "Myka, despite what you may think, I do understand how much that ring means to you, and I do understand what we as a single unit entails. We've been doing it all along."
Myka continued up the stairs, watching each step closely and trying to keep a straight face, eventually stopping on the stair just below the nervous wreck babbling in front of her.
Taking a deep breath, Helena took Myka's hand in her own, rubbing the naked finger. "Myka, do you love me?"
Without missing a step, Myka rubbed what she discovered to be a naked hand. "That's an odd question for you to ask, but yes, of course. I always have. I'd have to in order to put up with half of your shenanigans." Her tired eyes laughed.
"I've never done this before and I pray you never make me do this again," she swallowed hard over the lump growing in her throat, closing her eyes for a moment to gather herself with a deep breath before looking down into questioning green ones. "If you dare tell anyone how nervous I am…Bloody hell," she mumbled to herself, choking out a weak, shaky laugh. Flustered, she finally spit her words out, "Myka, will you…NOT marry me, but officially and formally join our lives together?"
Trying not to laugh at the wording, but understanding them completely, Myka stepped up the last stair in front of her anxious partner. She placed her hands softly against the neck she'd marked more times than she probably should have, and hoped to continue to do so in the future, her fingers caressing it softly and her thumbs tracing the jaw back to join her fingers. She smiled into the uncertain brown eyes, bent her head and kissed the parted lips desperately waiting for an answer. She backed away slowly, looking at the confused face, still smiling.
Tilting her head to the side, slightly confused, Helena asked with great sincerity, "Does that mean, yes?"
"It always has," she answered, bright eyes smiling back. "Yes."
Letting out a long, slow, unsteady breath, Helena slowly smiled, relieved. She raised both her hands to meet the palms of the two hands still holding her face, softly kissing Myka and resting their foreheads together. Suddenly she opened her eyes, looking straight into the still smiling green and hastily begged, "Do you trust me?"
"What?" Myka backed away slightly, trying to focus. "Of course I do. Well, mostly. Helena?" Myka frowned at the sudden change in attitude, backing away further, but never losing contact with the palms against her own.
"Then please, do change out of those ratty clothes," she pleaded, quietly. "You should consider washing up a bit, too. You look like you crossed an entire state, and smell like it too," she said under her breath. "Please, don't be cross with me for making a decision without you. It's supposed to be a surprise, of sorts. A grand gesture of romance, you could say, as unconventional as it is."
Myka looked over her shoulder curiously back at Helena standing in the doorway, shifting from one foot to another, and walked into the bathroom, stripping off the well journeyed clothes to find her own dress hanging on the door. "You're not conventional in any sense of the word." She peeked out the bathroom door. "Helena, please tell me what's going on."
"Well, you see, that's the surprise part, and all the rest. We're getting not-married," Helena blurted out.
"What?! Now?! As in right now? Helena, this isn't how these things normally work!" Myka stepped out shocked, holding a dress. "Black? You picked out black for me?"
"No, actually Vanessa did. She agreed it was the most becoming dress on you. I am sorry, but in case you haven't looked in the closet lately, you'll discover your color scheme is rather lacking in variety! We may want to consider expanding your color choices. The only other dress is red and we both know when that was last worn. Unless you plan to have a play date with Alice, I hardly think that appropriate under the circumstances. I'm not going to endure sarcastic comments from select individuals regarding THAT particular occasion. Since when have we ever been normal? You just became engaged to a woman who is well over one hundred years your senior and she sees no reason to wait any longer! I think it is well established we are far from normal, love. Now, please hurry before I realize I'm not this brave or Mrs. Frederic disappears on us."
"Mrs. Frederic?" She peeked through the bathroom door again, eyes wide. "What about my parents?"
"Oh, they're here, as is Steve's mother and Jane. Your sister was...unavailable. Claudia, Vanessa and Artie have been very busy while you were away. Look, do you want that ring back or not?"
Myka stepped out after the fastest wash and change she'd ever made and kissed Helena again, much more passionately, leaving her breathless. She grabbed the naked hand, jerking Helena off her feet heading out the bedroom door saying, "I've waited long enough to get that ring back. Let's get this show on the road before I chicken out. You and your grand gestures, Wells."
She stopped at the door turning to see anxious eyes, so contrary to the first time she ever looked into them, radiating confidence and arrogance. "Just processing. Okay. I'm totally not-marrying HG Wells, like, right now. Holy crap!" She stared at Helena, wide-eyed, shaking her head slightly. "We are so not normal." She pulled her again towards the stairs.
Grumbling behind her Helena groaned, "Oh god, you did have to wear that perfume, didn't you? Now how am I supposed to focus? It's not like I'm not nervous enough, and don't you dare tell anyone!"
Myka inhaled the scent passing her through the door. "Tit for tat. Besides, you said I smelled. Don't look at me like that. I heard you."
Stumbling down the stairs Helena turned abruptly into Myka. "I can't do this…What was I thinking? I've spent my whole life avoiding this very thing." Myka lifted her chin, softly kissing her, reluctant to release her lower lip. Barely audible, with a smile spreading on her face and eyes closed, she said, "Aaahh, yes. Now I remember. Someone tamed me."
"Good. Because I'm not sure I can do this without throwing up," Myka gulped.
"That's my brave girl," Helena shook her head, unable to stop laughing. "Now I know why you chose that perfume. You need some serious lessons in romance. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we get to your lessons."
"Two more stubborn people I believe I have never met," Mrs. Frederic started, "from the first day they met. Here I am, at Helena's request, and I hope yours, Myka," she looked at the still befuddled woman, "with your approval, since you are indeed standing here as well." She waited for a shy nod. "Let it be known these two have fought bitterly against what in their mind has been an unnecessary archaic institution, and after great discussion and argument over the insisted upon OXFORD dictionary, let us not refer to this as a marriage but something beyond. Something we have all borne witness to. They've endured unimaginable obstacles, often life threatening and debilitating. Yet, here they stand whole, in mind and body, because of each other. In many ways I understand their long kept reluctance for what they are about to do. I once used the following analogy for what I have found to be an indescribable relationship. I thank Phil Pullman and his gift to us in the form of The Golden Compass. For these two women, one cannot live without the other. One is the body, the other the Daemon. Without each other they are empty. The body and the soul. That is just one of many of their connections - one that crosses time itself. To lose one would be to lose the other. We have no control over a force of such incredible power. Why then, would one need to consider a marriage of any sort? It already exists.
"What we see here today is a bond that runs deeper than any of us can understand and only the two women before me experience in its truest form. It is my pleasure and my honor to witness what has been and always will be the most profound act between two people."
"Helena, Myka, do you both wish to make this formal bonding in front of these people you consider to be your family?"
"Yes," they said in unison.
"Is it my understanding, Helena, you've humbled yourself to tradition in requesting that one person stands beside you for this ceremony?"
"Yes." She turned around to look for the one face she'd deliberated over. She made eye contact, holding out her hand to be accepted. "Will you do me the honor, Vanessa?"
The woman straightened quickly, visibly surprised. "Me? Are you sure?"
"Without a doubt. If not for you, we may very well still be stuck in the sand and I personally would have been lost long ago, numerous times, without your care and guidance."
Vanessa stood up taking the hand to stand next to her. "I'm honored."
"Myka, do you wish the same? Someone to stand with you?" Mrs. Frederic asked, hiding her unease with the unexpected question.
Myka turned to the family she'd collected over the past years. "Pete?"
"Really? Me?" He pointed to himself, oddly surprised.
"Oh, just shut up and get up there before she changes her mind. Of course you, you big oaf." Artie shoved him, unable to stop the smile on his face.
He jumped up quickly, grabbing her hand, squeezing it firmly. "You sure? I mean, I did kiss her first," he whispered teasing her. "Ouch!" He rubbed his arm. "No violence at the wedding."
"Since there is no precedent for such an occasion as this, and I myself have never witnessed a non-marriage, the rest, ladies, is up to you." Mrs. Frederic stepped back, a rare, genuine smile taking control of her face.
Myka and Helena stood looking at each other, not sure what to do now. Being a spur of the moment on Helena's part, Helena nodded slightly to Myka who in return shook her head and nodded at her.
"Oh, for crying out loud," Vanessa said softly under her breath, rolling her eyes dramatically. "Do I really have to do everything for you two?" She gave Helena a soft shove with her shoulder. "Just tell her what you told me and give it back to her."
Glaring out of the corner of her eye, Helena quickly said under her breath, "I will remind you, it will be you standing here in another month."
Myka tried not to laugh. Vanessa had become a pillar in their lives and they never saw it happen.
Clearing her throat, Helena began with an unusually shaky voice, "Myka, I never knew who I was or what I could become until I met you. You believed in me when no one else did. You showed me what I could be and help me become more every day, even when you want to strangle me." Soft chuckles flooded the room. "You challenge me to be a better person. You pull me back into the light when I fall into the dark. You have always been with me and always will be. Please, don't doubt me when you think I don't understand what this ring holds. It never truly belonged to me, but was always intended to find you, as was I. You are my home. I promise I will always come home. Please take this offering as I return it to its final destination. Trust me to love you as I trust you. 'The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.' " Helena bit her bottom lip, hesitantly lifting Myka's hand and slid the ring back on her finger, ignoring the tears she shed with no shame. She stepped forward bringing the hand to her lips, kissing the ring. Looking up into the shining green eyes she whispered, "Thank you."
Myka started to speak finding a warm finger against her lips.
"Hush," she said softly. "I'm not quite done yet, darling, and it would be inappropriate at the moment to hush you in the manner in which I've become accustomed to. As this is a formal union, I felt it necessary we share that symbolically." She took the hand back. "With a reluctant but joyful acceptance to tradition, I concur this is by definition a union of two people and as such I give you this ring as a symbol of my connection to you, mentally, emotionally and physically. My soul is not just my own but is shared with yours." She slid the simple rose gold band next to its companion.
Myka stood dumbfounded and speechless. Pete, standing behind her, cleared his throat and whispered in her ear, "I'm not really an expert here, and I had absolutely nothing to do with this, just so we're clear on that, but I think this is the part you say whatever it is I really hope you thought about that day."
She swung around on him quickly and he prepared for yet another punch in the arm. Instead he felt her hand slide gently down the side of his face. He opened his squinting eyes and saw loving eyes gazing into his. She quietly spoke, "Thank you. Without you, I'd be standing here like an idiot without anything to say."
He spoke just as softly, "Uh, Mykes, right now you kind of are. So maybe you should turn around and face your, yeah, face that future, official wife of yours and tell her what you wanted to say and were always too chicken to." He took her by the shoulders, physically turning her around to face Helena, who stood patiently and unusually nervous.
"Helena, that big buffoon behind me, that I love dearly, once again got annoyed with me, imagine that, and one day told me I needed to figure out what I would say to you if given the chance. No one, beyond you, knows me like he does. And no one, without a doubt, knows me as well as you ever will. I have never doubted your love, even when I thought I did, and I trust you to love me. You are my flying buttress of strength and I will always try my best to remember that sometimes they have cracks and are not perfect. But somehow, they continue to carry an unexpected amount of weight under the most surprising conditions. I can only hope that I can carry as much weight as you ever need."
"'…if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world…if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow.'"
"We've never had an easy journey and I doubt we ever will, but you've always taken care of me and allowed me that same honor that you've never allowed another. You've freed me from my own constraints and shown me who I really am, both good and bad. And, yes, you've always come back to me."
She stared into the brown eyes and suddenly got a funny look on her face, eyes searching around her. "Uh, I don't seem to have..."
"Oh, oh, oh." Claudia came running up digging in her pocket, a silly grin on her face. "Sorry. Not really the most organized occasion. Why am I not surprised?" She placed the two rings in Myka's hand, closing the long fingers over them.
She smiled opening her hand. Taking the diamond first, she looked down into the still wet rimmed eyes, her own becoming unfocused with tears. "As you know, this ring holds all that is dear to me. I deliberated over it for a long time, much to Pete's chagrin. This diamond represents the day we met, despite the ironic circumstances, April 26. That day will always be the beginning of my own second life. I've protected it for you when you needed me to and will continue to do so. I know you know what it holds and I know where it belongs." She slid the ring back on the finger. Taking up the other one she examined it closely in wonderment. "I never once thought I'd ever be doing this. We've belonged together since the day you were born. You chose well. Rose gold represents love. I give you this ring as a symbol of my connection to you, mentally, emotionally and physically. My soul is not just my own but is shared with yours." She slid the ring on the finger, studying it closely, a goofy smile spreading across her face.
She felt a firm poke on her shoulder. Pete broke the awkward silence bending over quietly saying, "You got the girl. Now kiss your wife."
Myka turned around quickly at him. "She's not my…"
"Oh yeah, baby, is she ever. Always has been. Now kiss her already, 'cause she wants to kiss someone and I don't see Mrs. F. here stepping in and I KNOW what your wife will do to me if I try."
Mrs. Frederic glared at Pete. "As much as it pains me to agree with Mr. Lattimer, he is correct."
"Oh, bloody hell, Myka!" Helena grasped Myka's shoulder turning her around. Cupping the still dumb face gently, she gave her the longest, sweetest kiss she ever publicly offered, returning to brush her lips across them. She brought their palms together on either side and entwined their fingers. Resting her forehead against Myka's and brushing their noses, she said softly for Myka's ears only, "I love you. And yes, darling, I will always be your wife. It's been pointed out to me that I have been for some time now." With one last quick kiss, Helena reluctantly backed away holding both hands, beaming.
Mrs. Frederic stepped forward still smiling. "As the chosen officiate of this union, I get the honor and the greatest pleasure to declare you, Helena Grace Wells and Myka Ophelia Bering, not married but bound together through all that life may grant you. Congratulations to you both. And on behalf of all of us, thank you for finally clarifying your status. I hereby state you are from this moment forward to be referenced as joined and wives, because honestly, your consistent contradictions were getting annoying to say the least.
"It is my understanding that Artie has worked very hard at providing us with…"
Claudia interrupted, jumping up ecstatically, hugging the two women. "Yeah, yeah, yeah…let's par-tay!
"Helena, Myka, before we all lose track of each other, please let me be the first to congratulate you." Mrs. Frederic set a hand on each of their arms. "I know Elizabeth would have loved dearly to be here and she sends her best. Despite whatever circumstances ensued, she loved Grace very much. This was going to be one of her last requests, but she decided this was a more appropriate time considering its involvement in your relationship." She handed them a plain box with a metal latch. "She argued and fought for this for a long time. She wanted you to have the honor to destroy it. Mr. Kosan finally consented. Elizabeth can be very persuasive when she wants to be. It must be genetic." She squeezed their arms. "I know nothing. Now, where is the food?" she said with a happy smile.
"I think you need to open it," Myka whispered. "I have no desire to set eyes on it again."
"Is this what I think it is?" Helena flipped the latch carefully, opening it in a secluded corner. Inside lay the Janus coin, shining brightly, mocking her. She slammed it shut, taking a deep breath. She caught Claudia out of the corner of her eye, waving her over. "How did you know, Myka?"
"It was the only thing that made sense."
"Hey, Mrs. and Mrs. It's your party. Thought I'd warn you, Pete wants to make a speech." Helena shoved the box in Claudia's hands.
"Claudia, listen to me closely. Do not open, do not ask. Go lock this in the most secure location you have. Right now. You'll understand later and will aid us in it's destruction."
"Uh, sure. That place we made in my room work?"
"Absolutely."
Myka looked at her completely annoyed. "You helped build her a secret place in her room?"
"Oh honestly, Myka, we got bored one day. This really surprises you? How else is she going to learn?" She quickly found herself enveloped in strong arms, relaxing into the deep kiss.
"Helena Wells, I love you. Never stop surprising me."
"Then you'll still be surprised with mythical twins?"
"Just so we're clear, what the hell is this twin thing all about?"
Helena's eyes widened with disbelief. "You're just asking that now? Now? You surprise me, Myka. You really can be quite dense sometimes. I'd have thought you'd have figured that out long ago. Charles and I were twins."
"You said Charles was your older brother," Myka said, clearly confused.
"What? Did you wake up this morning with only half of your mental capacity? If so, I might be forced to question the integrity of your participation in the arrangement we've just finalized." She laughed at the expression on Myka's face and cupped it in her hands. In a soft voice she elucidated, "He was - by ten minutes and he enjoyed reminding me of that fact every chance he had. It really never occurred to you my birthday coincides with his? His biography could not be falsified. I'm not sure if you're worthy of my attentions and may just have to demand a divorce now." With Myka's face still in her hands she laughed, bringing their lips together for a long, tender kiss that contradicted her words, breaking the contact to the whoops and hollers behind them started by Pete. "Have no fear, my love. You are stuck with me for a very, very long time; twins or no twins. I remind you though, my age is also a contributing factor and we both know I'm not, ahem, 37." She took Myka's hand and turned towards the crowd, a silly grin on her face. Myka had blanched slightly.
"Why didn't you say anything before? We haven't actually decided yet, right?" She side glanced her new wife, nervously, attempting a social smile, the thought instantly panicking her.
Pulling her into the crowd of their family, a smile frozen on her own face, Helena leaned over whispering, "Honestly, I thought you knew. You have said 'children' on more than one occasion yourself. And, no, we have definitely, absolutely not decided a thing. At the moment I plan on keeping you to myself. Something about the 'honeymoon' period I heard about?"
"I think we've been honeymooning since the day you threw up on your bedroom floor." Myka suddenly made a sharp turn into the adjoining room, Helena tripping slightly with the unexpected jerk. The door shut firmly behind her. "No, Helena, seriously. If we're going to do this…Does Vanessa know?"
"Of course she knows! She's my physician too. We've discussed it at length and it is a valid consideration to take into account. There is a much greater chance of my conceiving twins, and she has concerns, but nothing that she believes is beyond reasonable as of yet. I was very lucky Christina was not a twin. I'm not sure I could have handled that alone. Considering the difficulties of that birth, I most likely would not have survived. Myka, sweetheart, I did honestly think you knew. It was not an intentional oversight and don't worry about something we have yet to decide and may never pursue. We haven't even been able to sit down with Vanessa together and I anticipate she will be directing us elsewhere. That is essential in our decision. Now," she turned Myka into the corner of the door and wall, leaning her full body against her, her hands drawing slowly down her sides to rest on her hips. "Our entire family is outside this door and I have just changed some rules and gone and not-married you for no other reason than I love you so damn much. It is my understanding that we are obligated to celebrate that miraculous event with them. Surprisingly, that is exactly just what I wish to do, and magnificently we will. The sooner we do that," she pressed harder into her wife, kissing her passionately until they needed air, leaving them both flushed and breathless, "The sooner we can get back to that and you getting those lessons in romance you so desperately seem to need."
Catching her breath, Myka hung onto her, resting their foreheads together. "I love you."
Helena gave her a crooked smile. "How could you not?" She turned around opening the door, an arrogant smile plastered on her face.
"There's that ego. Plan on making good on it."
"Oh, I do, Myka. I do. In more ways than you can possibly imagine."
Stumbling out the door, Pete caught them out of the corner of his eye. "Getting an earlier start I see."
"Be assured, Mr. Lattimer, if I were indeed involved in anything you are implying at the moment, unlike you, we'd still be in there and for a very, very, long time."
She found herself being taken into a big bear hug. Not letting go, Pete whispered into her ear, "Thank you. Thank you for taking care of her and loving her like she deserves and making her the happiest I've ever seen her. And sometimes the angriest."
Relaxing into the hug, she held him close. "I love you too, Pete. I trust you implicitly to bring her back home safe to me."
Myka quickly stepped in between the two. "Okay you two. Break up the mushies before I have to hear another crack about Helena's second first kiss. You're both kinda freaking me out." She took Helena's hand and kissed Pete on the cheek. "Just for the record: neither remarkable nor memorable. It was the SECOND kiss that sent her to the moon and back. I love you, Pete." She tugged Helena's hand into the throng of well wishers, Pete close behind with an equally big smile on his face.
"Where are they anyway?" Vanessa asked.
Clearing his throat, Steve turned around pointing with the glass of sparkling cider in his hand. "The corner chair they still think is darker than it really is."
"Or they just don't care right now." Mrs. Frederic laughed. "Helena has totally corrupted her. Myka would have been shocked by such behavior when she first got here."
"No. Not corrupted. Myka was right. She freed her. What finally broke them down anyway? They were so adamant and defensive. I never thought they'd actually do it," Vanessa laughed.
"What breaks everything down; time. I guess she did have a time machine. It just came in the form of Christina. Or her ghost or…I'm not even going to try to figure it out." Artie finally gave up.
"Forgiveness," Abigail said, glancing over in their direction. Her eyes widened and her face contorted. "Oh, they really need to go home before they completely forget where they are."
"Like that's never happened before. I got this," Claudia said going into the kitchen.
They all turned grimacing.
"Oh, no, not the neck, Myka. She's not that quiet," Abigail added. "I really hope you bought a box of ear plugs Steve, even if the windows are closed."
Claudia came back with a bowl of popcorn, smiling profusely. "Hey, it's worked before." She walked into the living room and stood behind the sofa tossing the contents of the bowl at the couple, quickly dropping behind the sofa anticipating an unknown object to sail over her. "Go home!"
Two heads stared down at her from over the sofa, laughing. "Problem?"
"Uh, not really. I mean, it is your party and all, but we think that you have other, uh, more enticing things in mind that might be better accomplished not in that chair, especially with parents around. We really want you to go home-now."
"Why is your phone ringing?" Myka grumbled between the soft kisses she was laying against the nape of her neck.
"What phone? I broke it again," she managed. "Or lost it." She groaned into the pillow arching her back against Myka's full body.
"Good answer." A moist trail led to a soft nip of an ear.
Helena stretched her arms above her head as Myka returned to her neck and slid her hands up along the extended arms.
"That's yours," Helena whispered rolling underneath, her arms held firmly above her head.
Myka smiled, looking into the soft eyes, mumbling into the opening mouth for a kiss. "I don't hear anything."
Silence prevailed invaded only by the sounds of the two lovers. A loud nondescript sound ripped from Helena's throat as she pressed herself into the wet warmth possessing her hardened nipple, quickly turning into a cry of frustration. She pushed Myka off panting. "I will kill whoever is on the other side of your screen!" She grabbed Myka's Farnsworth from the night stand, kneeling in the middle of the bed, tossing her hair back. "You had to become someone important, didn't you? You do know he has no plan of retiring anytime soon. And why am I always the one answering it for you on these occasions?"
Myka ignored Helena's complaint, wrapping herself around her from behind, hands never leaving the breasts she was presently engrossed in. "Because I lose focus too easily, you're a better actress on these occasions and I'm a little busy."
"Like anyone doesn't know exactly what we are doing. They bloody well sent us home!" she spat opening the offending object. "I will kill you if this is not a life or death situation," she growled into the box, face contorting, swallowing down a groan and struggling to keep her eyes open as Myka found the nape of her neck again.
"You know, I did redesign those things for you with that 'Do Not Disturb' switch, which Artie doesn't know about, as a wedding present." They could hear the music and laughter in the background, evidence of the ongoing celebration.
"Ah, yes. Well…Just got married. A bit preoccupied. Not really a habit." Helena distinctly stated.
"What do you want Claudia and god help anyone that has plans on sending us somewhere."
Myka showed up behind Helena, continuing her attentions to the back of her neck, biting the pale shoulder, her hands still exploring.
"Okay, so more of a show than I expected…"
"Claud…Just got married. A little preoccupied." Myka flashed a cold look at the screen.
"I see that, but you are sort of getting sent…"
Helena gasped, shutting her eyes and tilting her head at Myka's unintentional hard bite at Claudia's words. "Oh, god…"
"Can you guys stop for one-second?" Claudia squeaked, squeezing her eyes shut tightly.
"At this point, no," Helena's voice cracked, losing focus, her head dropping back on Myka's shoulder when a devious hand traveled lower, beginning a new warmer and very wet exploration. Myka's eyes narrowed into evil slits. Claudia quickly exploded as fast as she could. "You're leaving for Hawaii tomorrow. Getting picked up at six a.m...Compliments of Mrs. Frederic. She doesn't want to scare away the new recruit and we don't want to live through the next ten days no matter how sound proof that room is now. Please, don't oversleep or we'll be forced to interrupt again. New guy is terrified of you after that last blow up that sent you to the cage and Sarah and I so don't want to draw the short straw again. Bye. Oh, and she said the airplane rule still applies. Bye, again."
Myka burst out laughing. Helena dropped the device on the floor as Myka pressed her forward, her arms dropping off the end of the bed. "Never. Answering. Your. Farnsworth. Again," Helena said sinking into the bed.
Myka kneaded the muscles beneath her, laying soft, wet kisses down Helena's spine toward the end of the bed. "We are evil. Poor Claudia. Is she always going to somehow be a part of our sex life?"
"She does keep calling us a threesome…"
"Not funny." Myka bit her neck again, a nondescript sound escaping up Helena's throat.
"Myka…please…" she begged, adding quickly, "Not allowed in the birthing room."
"Agreed. I thought we hadn't decided?"
"Haven't…she…probably knows…isn't saying…Myka…now….please…god, I'm begging you!"
"Love the begging," she whispered behind her ear.
"So explain to me, if you can, why it is we are always being sent off to volcanic islands?" Helena asked sitting on the porch step, leaning back into Myka's warmth, her arms wrapped around the long legs.
"Maybe it has something to do with that nickname of yours." Myka rested her chin on Helena's shoulder enveloping her with her arms, watching the road in the distance.
"Really? They still call me that?" She was surprised. "I thought I'd mellowed some."
Myka snorted. "Maybe in some ways, but you will always be my little, walking volcano. Or should I call you my begging volcano?"
"Highly explosive if I recall when pressure is properly attained and controlled. Not entirely clear that last time. I passed out again and woke up with my head hanging off the end of the bed. I'm not really sure how we are functioning. Really, if one considers the phenomenon thoroughly you are entirely responsible for that moniker. No matter. Either title will suffice I suppose, preferably in our bed, or anywhere else intriguing we may find hidden elsewhere. Of course, our arguments do still get us thrown in storage and that is sound proof. And why did no one ever tell us the walls were sound proof? We're not that loud. I think we've done a miraculous job in redirecting that wasted energy."
Myka pushed her forward slightly, nuzzling her neck. "I accept full responsibility," she said against the bare skin, "and no idea. Probably their secret joke. And absolutely."
"Mmmmm. You are evil. That is going to get us in a great deal of trouble." She bent her head forward. "Are they all still watching out the window?"
"Probably," she breathed against the bare neck. "Did you really have to just twist it up like that?"
"You know I'm a morning person and you didn't really leave me much time this morning, did you? Even your parents?" she asked surprised, bending her head back to look at her, disrupting the attack on her neck.
Myka bent forward, kissing the bruised lips. "Oh, I'm sure." She finally came up for breath. "Definitely my mother, no thanks to you. I think they are still in shock that I actually let someone leash me into not-marrying them. They love you. And, let's just clarify one thing; you're so not just a morning person."
"Well, in that case then." Her hand snaked behind the neck bending it over her, returning another kiss. "You didn't happen to pack anything from any other islands did you?"
"No. Security can be a little awkward I discovered. I thought we could expand our horizons when we got there if we wanted."
"Good idea. All this charting stuff…I think we'll be exploring less of the island and more of each other for the next few days, and if I've cross-referenced with your little book I found again correctly...Well, it is our honeymoon after all."
"Really? You're still…never mind, so am I…You've cross-referenced? Right, of course you have. Always so thorough." Myka thought for a second, nuzzling an ear. "Hmmm. Good to know." Myka nodded her head. "So what now?"
"Hmmm? There's the car." Helena pointed in the distance. "I suggest we make that appointment with Vanessa when we get back."
"Really? So does that mean we've decided?" Myka stopped sitting up suddenly.
"Quite possibly and absolutely not," Helena said slowly.
"You or me?"
"That is an 'us' decision to make after our chat with Vanessa. However, if given a choice, and you are agreeable, I would very much like to try first. If you're still alright with that plan, then we see what the fates have in store for us. Perhaps we can still change the rules and break a seal or two in the process."
"I think that's what Christina wanted," Myka said hugging Helena close, wiping away a tear, "For you to know it was okay."
"Me too," Helena said smiling, sinking into the warmth behind her. "Me too."
-THE END-
(or so I thought)
- "The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart."
- "…if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world…if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow."
- The Little Prince, Antoine de St. Exupery (as always)
Aelphieflies (Sculs) on Chapter 7 Sat 20 May 2017 04:12AM UTC
Comment Actions
Larkspur_Heart on Chapter 36 Sun 12 Apr 2020 02:08PM UTC
Comment Actions
Griffen on Chapter 36 Sun 25 Jul 2021 02:16AM UTC
Comment Actions
TheLuckyThreeLeafClover on Chapter 36 Sat 04 Dec 2021 01:26AM UTC
Comment Actions
Drachnfyre on Chapter 36 Sat 04 Mar 2023 05:38PM UTC
Comment Actions
Griffen on Chapter 36 Mon 04 Sep 2023 12:39PM UTC
Comment Actions