Chapter 1: One look, dark room.
Chapter Text
15 November 2011.
"You know this doesn't have to be the goodbye right?" Karlie said as she look at the blonde girl in front of her. She can see her blue eyes become watery and the way she tug both of her hands in the pockets of her coat and try to stay in control of herself not to break down in the middle of the airport. Karlie look over Taylor's shoulder and see Taylor's boyfriend, Harry, looking over at them with a curious look in his eyes but when he sees Karlie staring, he just give her a smile and a little wave.
"I know but…I will be half way across the world in London and you will be here in New York" Taylor pout which makes Karlie smile, despite how sad she feel inside.
"I will call you, skype, whatever it takes. I'm always here when you're lonely" Karlie said with a wink as Taylor catch on with her joke and slap her arm lightly. Before they were best friend, They used to be strictly just friend with benefit. Karlie remembers the time that there were more touching than talking but now everything is reverse and right before Taylor leave to London that she's falling in love with her best friend and the other girl seems to feel the same but the sad part was, Taylor has a boyfriend and she's leaving to study in UK while Karlie stay behind in New York.
"Will you be here when I get back?" Taylor ask she take a step closer to Karlie, she wants to take a step back because she could feel Harry's eyes on her but she just stand there as Taylor move so close that she could slip her arms under Karlie's coat and wrap them around Karlie's waist.
"Of course" Karlie whisper quietly, somehow it feels like an empty promise. Taylor give her a small nod before reaching in to her coat pocket and pull out a small square box before pressing it into Karlie's palm.
"I want you to do me a favor" Taylor said, Karlie could hear her voice become a little shaky.
"Sure"
"I want you to keep looking at me while I'm walking away and once I'm out of your sight, I want you to open this box. Don't open it before okay? Please?" Taylor plead, even though Karlie finds it weird, she didn't complain. She just nod and grip the box tighter. "It's something to remember me by" Taylor whisper as she wraps her arms around Karlie's neck, pulling the taller girl closer. Karlie can hear Harry calling Taylor's name, telling her that it's time to go but Taylor didn't care. They pull away far enough for their lips to brush against each others and quick enough that Harry doesn't see what's going on. Karlie lick her lips, trying to erase the red lipstick stain on her lips and try to remember how Taylor taste like. She watch as Taylor wave at her and quickly walk back to Harry who quickly wrap his arms around her, trying to comfort her. Karlie watch as they walk away and slowly disappear into the crowd in the airport, she look down at the box in her hand before stuffing the box into her coat pocket and rush toward the exit knowing that as soon as Taylor step on that airplane, everything that ever happens between them will be over and it will become just another memory. She could feel the weight of the box in her coat pocket as she walk toward the parking lot to her car, she didn't want to open it in the middle of the airport and risk breaking down in front of thousand of strangers, it doesn't feel right. She doesn't want it to be the last goodbye but she couldn't stop Taylor, she just want to hold on to all the moments they had and never let go. She open the box as soon as she settle in to the driver seat and when she sees the necklace with a small heart pendant with their initial craved on it, she let go of all the tears that she has been holding for so long, mourning for the lost of the love of her life. Mourning for the chance of being love of someone, mourning for the memories that they once had together and the love that was never spoken.
//
September 3 2016
She's standing in the dark corner of the room with a half empty glass of champagne in her hand. She tug the collar of her white shirt softly and the chains on her collar pin make a little noise, but loud enough for her friend/assistant , Derek, to turn around and give her a strange look.
"Karlie, stop fidgeting with your suit. It makes you look nervous and it's not good" Derek whisper quietly and Karlie just roll her eyes at him. She doesn't need to be here, she could've sent Derek here with someone else but he insisted that she should come because that's the point of being CEO of KODE Ltd. Ever since Karlie set up the company, she decide to give part of the profit that they made to charity and that makes her become one of the most charitable CEO in the country, another title to add to the list of titles that she didn't asked for. She put the champagne glass down on the table close to them before adjusting her suit jacket and scan the room for familiar faces. Suddenly her eyes fall on a blonde girl in a navy dress with a low back cut out who's standing on the other side of the room. All the feelings come rushing back to her, she could still remember the first time she ever laid eyes on this girl five years ago. The situation is all to familiar to her, she still remember how she stared at the girl who's leaning against the railing on second floor of Cara's loft during her senior year and how it feels like when she touch her for the first time that night. She takes a deep breath as the girl lean into hug an older woman who walk over to greet her and the way she smile makes Karlie's heart skip a beat. She told Derek that she'll be right back, earning another confuse look from her friend before she rush through the crowd hoping that she would catch the blonde before she move on and disappear.
"Taylor" Karlie said her name and the girl's blonde head slowly turn around like she didn't expect to hear her voice in this place. Her blue eyes wide in surprise as it land on Karlie and her red lips slightly part like she's trying to figure out what to say.
"Oh my god" She said in a breathy whisper before rushing toward Karlie and throw herself in to Karlie's arm, pressing herself tightly against the taller girl with both of her arms wraps around Karlie's neck while Karlie quickly wraps hers around Taylor's waist. Karlie could feel Taylor's nose press against her neck on the expose skin right above the collar of her shirt, she still smells the same, feels the same and for a moment when Karlie close her eyes, she still see the young and carefree looking Taylor laying on her bed with a book in her had and wearing just Karlie's worn out hoodie.
"Hi" Karlie whisper into Taylor's ear quietly and she could feel Taylor's lip brush against her skin as she pulls away and Karlie was sure that there's going to be a lipstick stain on the collar.
"Hello to you too" She said, her hands still grip tight on Karlie's bicep while's arms still remains on Taylor's waist. "You…you disappeared. I didn't know how to get in contact with you, you were gone Kloss"
"I know, I'm sorry" Karlie said as she look down away, avoid Taylor's eye contact. Feeling guilty that she didn't keep in touch like she promised Taylor before she get on the plane and fly off to England to continue with her master. She still remember how Taylor grab her hands before leaning in and kiss her right on her lips, despite the fact that her boyfriend is watching. Taylor made her promise to wait, to stay in touch and to be here when she gets back and Karlie was dying to tell her not to leave and to stay with her. Dying to tell the girl that she loved her. Karlie didn't kept the promises and she fell completely off the grid and disappear from Taylor's world.
"So what are you doing here??" Karlie ask as Taylor takes her hand and drag her toward the door that leads out to the balcony.
"Oh umm" Taylor pause like she's trying to come up with a valid reason but couldn't instantly came up with one. "I'm Harry's plus one, he donates his photos to the auction"
"I see" Karlie said. "You still with him"
"We've been on and off, you know. He can't seems to get very far from me" Taylor said with a vary smile. Karlie want to tell her how much she deserve so much better than Harry.
"What about you?"
"KODE Ltd. Is the main contributor to this event so, according to my assistant, I have to be here" Karlie joke.
"Ahh, you disappeared for five years and now you become the hot shot CEO. That's very sexy, Kloss" Taylor said with a smirk that makes Karlie blush. "So I'm someone's plus one, who's yours?"
"Nobody" Karlie said with a smirk and start twisting the ring on her right ring finger.
"Seriously?"
"Yeah, well I don't really count Derek, my assistant, as my plus one. He's not…my type" Karlie said shyly and Taylor just rise her eyebrows before chuckling.
"You know, I miss us" Taylor said quietly as she get up from her seat and stand next to Karlie. She slowly reach up and trace her finger down the buttons on Karlie's shirt and stop on the spot right on top of her pants button while her blue eyes are staring at Karlie's. Taylor knows that she still has these effect on Karlie, all the little things that she do will drive the other girl crazy and she likes doing it. For the past five years, she never stop thinking about Karlie and the way the other girl makes her feel when they were together. It's something that even her long time boyfriend couldn't do, she has been told many times that she's hard to please but it seems very effortless for Karlie to please her. She can just give her a small smile like she's doing now and she would feel satisfy.
" 'Us' as in what?" Karlie shrug "The less talk more touching part or the more talk more touching part" Karlie said as she snake her arm around Taylor's waist and pull her closer.
"Everything. I miss everything about us" Taylor said as she reach her hand up and touch Karlie lips. "I miss the way you kiss me, I miss the way you touch me" She whisper quietly like she didn't want anyone else to hear.
"Taylor" Karlie said with a shaky voice. She can feel Taylor reach in to her suit jacket and pull out her phone from the inner pocket with a smug smile on her face. She quickly punch in her phone number and slide the phone back into her pocket and run her hand pass Karlie's toned stomach slowly as she lean in and press a kiss on Karlie's cheek.
"I miss you" She whisper into Karlie's ear as she back away from the other girl slowly and start walking toward the balcony door.
"Wait, where are you going" Karlie ask as she watch Taylor slip through the balcony door, she turn around and give her a wink.
"Call me" She said and then she is gone.
Chapter 2: In Wildest Dreams.
Summary:
Oh look, an update! Sorry for the delay guys, the term has began and I'm currently buried 6 feet under my reading assignments. I'll try to update as much as possible! xo.
Chapter Text
"Karlie are you listening?" Derek said as Karlie turn toward him with eyes wide in confusion. She's sitting in her office looking out the window behind her when Derek comes in and start talking about the new client and the project that they wanted to do. She wasn't listening to him at all, she found herself fidgeting with the heart shape pendant hanging from the necklace around her neck and her mind is on Taylor.
"Of course I am" She lied as she turn her chair around and stare at Derek, she just want him to get out of this room and leave her alone. Derek rolls his eyes at her as he put the folder he's carrying on her table.
"Just read through this okay? Lemme know what you think" He said with a smile on his face, finding the fact that his boss who's always on point and focus about everything seems to be distract by something ever since the day they went to the event. Karlie just nod as Derek left the room, she reach for her phone and stare at the screen, rereading the message that was sent to her this morning.
From Taylor: So…are you going to make that call or do I have to? I'm getting impatient here.
She bite down her lower lips with both of her thumbs hovering over the keyboard, debating whether she wants to play it cool or what. She tap the phone lightly against her lips and got lost in her thoughts when she hear muffling outside her office door.
"You can't go in there without an appointment" She can hear Derek said and she could see his silhouette blocking the glass door that leads in to her office. His office is basically right across hers and Karlie put him there so he could stop anyone from getting in her office unannounced.
"Oh I'm sure she won't mind" The other voice said and it makes Karlie jump out of her skin, she grab her phone and slip it into her jeans pocket before rushing toward the door and throw it open. Derek almost fell into Karlie while Karlie just stare at the blonde who's standing in front of Derek with one hand on her waist and a smug smile on her face.
"Taylor" Karlie said breathlessly. "It's okay Derek and can you move my 11 O'clock meeting? Or send someone instead of me"
"But…" Derek said with a panic look on his face.
"Please" Karlie said before looking back at Taylor. "Come on in" She said toward the other girl as Derek move aside and Taylor quickly follow Karlie and kick the door close behind her. Karlie settle down in to her chair while Taylor casually stroll over and sit on the edge of her desk. Karlie swallow hard as she stare at the girl in front of her, she's wearing a short skirt pair with a black wide color sweater and brown high heels, her handbag casually hang from her left arm. She particularly got Karlie gawking over her like she did five years ago.
"So?" Taylor said as she tilted her head to the side and smile at Karlie.
"So what?" Karlie said, trying to keep her eyes focus on Taylor's blue ones.
"Well let's see" Taylor pause as she put her bag down on "I gave you my number last week at the gala, told you to give me a call. I waited but you never call me back so I texted you this morning and you still give me the silent treatment. So, what the hell Kloss?"
"What do you want me to do?!" Karlie said as she throw her hands up in surrender.
"I don't know, Kloss. I mean you could have text back"
"Seriously, Taylor. We're not in NYU anymore" Karlie said as she rub the bridge of her nose.
"It would be nice to hear from you" Taylor shrug. "The silent treatment is unacceptable, Karlie"
"FINE!" Karlie raise her voice and lean back in to her chair "Fine, I'm sorry. It's just weird for me"
"Weird for you how?"
"Yeah, I mean we haven't talk in five years and now you're back in New York and you're sitting right in front of me and it's feels like and dream" Karlie said as she look up at Taylor. "It's like a wildest dream"
"It's not a dream. I'm here" Taylor whisper quietly as she reach over and touch Karlie's cheek, rubbing her thumb against Karlie's skin. Karlie could still image Taylor doing this to her back when she's still living in her dorm. She still remember how Taylor sit on her lap with her head rest on Karlie's shoulder and her hand on her cheek, her thumb rubbing her cheek and while she whisper things in to her ear. Karlie remember how hard it was to focus on working when Taylor is doing that to her, she can't focus around the other girl and all Karlie wants to do right now is to pull Taylor off the table in to her lap and hold her tight. Taylor slowly pull her hand back and hop off the table before pacing around Karlie's office, checking her shelf and the view behind Karlie's table. She watch her for a while before letting the other girl pace the room while she try to concentrate on the paper work in front of her. Taylor seems to notice that Karlie has slip in to her working mode, so she walk over to grab her laptop from her handbag and settle down in one of the chair in front of Karlie's desk and start working on her new novel.
"Do you mind if I work here with you?" Taylor said as Karlie look up from the papers and give Taylor a nod and a smile before both of them drift in to a comfortable silence.
"You done?" Taylor said as she notice that Karlie has close the file in front of her and lean back in to her chair before letting out a sigh after long hours of Taylor typing away on her Macbook and Karlie making phone calls and sign some documents.
"Yeah" Karlie said before pulling out her moleskine planner. "I'm actually free for the rest of the day, you want to go grab lunch?"
"Sure, let me just text Harry" Taylor said as she pull out her phone and punch in a very short text before throw her phone in her bag. Karlie is already standing by the door when Taylor finish packing her stuff, she walks over to the taller girl and lace their fingers together out of old habits, Karlie finch a little but Taylor just grip her hand tighter, preventing her from pulling away. Everyone is staring when they walk through the office toward the elevator but Karlie doesn't care.
"Wait, one question though" Karlie said as she follows Taylor in to the elevator.
"Yeah?"
"How did you find me?"
"Oh that's easy" Taylor chuckle "Google, obviously and Cara"
"Of course, Delevingne" Karlie said as she roll her eyes which makes Taylor laugh even more.
/ /
Karlie choose the small Italian restaurant with a private area where they can sit and talk about their life. Karlie plays with the straw in her ice tea glass while she listen to Taylor talk about how it was like to live in London and writing her first two best selling books. Karlie still remember walking in to Barns and Nobles one day a couple of years back and saw Taylor's name on the cover of one of the best selling books, she remembered walking out of the store with the book in her hand.
"Living in London is fun, I had a good time but then I want to move back and Harry got a job offers at an art gallery here so we move back" Taylor said as she lift up her tea and sip her drink.
"So you and Harry are…" Karlie said and let Taylor fills in the blank.
"We're in a relationship, a very complicate one"
"Strictly girlfriend, boyfriend?" Karlie push and Taylor just look at her before rising her eyebrows.
"Of course, we're not engage or anything. We broke up for a while, like before we move back here but when he heard that I'm planning on moving back to New York, he said that he want to come too and that he got a job and so on. He said he want to try again"
"Then why did you guys broke up in the first place?"
"I don't know" Taylor just give her a sad smile "You know…when your heart is no longer there and you just wake up one day and doesn't want to be there anymore, you realize you don't want the same thing and you are on the different pages. Like you want give up" Taylor said as she put her tea cup down.
"You know I thought I will never see you again" Karlie said quietly like she didn't want Taylor to hear her.
"Why?" Taylor asked as she look at Karlie.
"Because when you got on that plane five years ago, I thought that was it. I was thinking like, I will never see her again even if she said she's going to come back. One day she'll forget about me and she will move on with her life, find someone else that would make her happy like she should be" Karlie pause as she look in to the distance, avoiding Taylor's eye contact but she could still feel those eyes on her.
"I'll never forget about you, Karlie" Taylor said as she lean over the tiny table and take Karlie's hand. Taylor look into Karlie's eyes like she's trying to search for an answer, for something that would reassure her that Karlie would believe her that she would never forget about the girl that makes her know what it's like to be love. Her eyes falls on the heart shape pendant that hang on Karlie's necklace and her heart leap, she didn't realize that Karlie's still wearing the necklace that she has given her all these keeping you close, despite the fact that there's a chance that I might never see you again" Karlie said, trying to keep her voice even. For a moment, Karlie thought that she would lean in and kiss her. For a short second, Karlie is holding her breath. She is staring in to Taylor's eyes and she could literally see thousands emotions running through those eyes like she's trying to figure out what to do and what to say. Suddenly Taylor's phone rang and both of them jump, she excuse herself and Karlie let out a long sigh before leaning back into her seat, Taylor comes back a moment later with a sheepish smile on her face.
"Hey, listen, I'm so sorry but I gotta run. Harry on his way to pick me up, he said he's almost here" She said before pulling out her wallet to pay for her food but Karlie stop her.
"No no, it's okay. I got this" Karlie said as she takes her card out of her wallet before waving at the waiter for the bill.
"I wish I could stay longer" Taylor pause "There's so much more that I want to talk to you"
"Me too" Karlie said as she let the awkward silence hang between them as the waiter comes back with her card and receipt, Taylor keeps staring at her phone like she hoping that Harry would call her and told her that he's here but nothing happens. "You know" Karlie said and Taylor look up from her phone and stare at her. "Why don't you come over to my loft sometimes and we can chat, like for dinner"
"That sounds nice" Taylor said and smile "Sounds like a plan to me, I'll let you know when I can go. Just let me clear my schedule"
"Sure" Karlie said as she get up from her seat before walking out to the sidewalk with Taylor. She could feel Taylor's hand graze her hand, her finger tips move across the back of Karlie's hand.
"I miss you, Karlie" Taylor said as she throw her arms around Karlie's neck, pulling the taller girl closer. "I'm so glad I bumped in to you"
"As am I" Karlie said and close her eyes, she doesn't want to feel like this would be the last time she would see Taylor again.
"I'll see you sometimes soon yea?"
"Hmm" Karlie nod as she feel Taylor's arms slide off her neck and watch as Taylor take a step back when a black Range Rover pull up to the sidewalk next to them and the window roll down. Harry is smiling at them, Karlie can barely remember him with short hair.
"Hey Kloss! Fancy seeing you" Harry said as he reach his hand out the window and shakes hers.
"Likewise, Style" Karlie said as she give him her best business smile, trying to hide the fact that she didn't want to see him. Taylor keep looking back and forth between then before she grab Karlie's wrist like she's trying to get Karlie to focus on her instead of having a stare off with her boyfriend.
"I'll call you soon" Taylor said as she slide in to the car and both of them speed off. Karlie watch until the car is out of sight before making her way back to the office.
/ /
"So let me get this straight" Cara said as she twirl the beer bottle in hand and stare up at the ceiling above her as she lean in to the couch with her legs up on the coffee table. Karlie scoff as she sit down next to the girl, not liking how she put her feet up but couldn't be bother to say anything. Cara always show up unexpectedly which Karlie sometimes appreciated but not always, today, however, Karlie felt so relieved when she open her front door and sees Cara standing there with a pack of beer and take out.
"So you randomly ran in to Taylor at the charity event you went last week and she texted you this morning after you went MIA the whole week AFTER she gave you her number" Cara said before taking a sip from her beer. "Did I got that right"
"Yes, every bit of it" Karlie nodded.
"And this morning she showed up at your office, being pissed at the fact that you didn't contact her back and especially, didn't text back after she texted you this morning. Then you guys have a chit chat before ending up working together"
"Why do you have to emphasize on the word working. We are working" Karlie said as Cara chuckle.
"Is that what the kids are calling these days? But never mind, let's move on. So you guys went to lunch and it all got a bit sentimental and you almost kiss but Harry shows up so you never got to kiss her THEN in the heat of the moment you told her that she should come to your loft for a chat" Cara said.
"Yes"
"Isn't this what you want? I mean her coming back and be here and all"
"I mean yeah…cause she's the only person I ever feel…you know" Karlie didn't want to say the worth, she didn't want to say that Taylor was the only person she ever truly feels like she's in love with. She still remembered how Taylor broke her when she left. How she was shattered in to pieces and Cara was there to witness it all.
"Then why are you worry?"
"I'm afraid of what's going to happen"
"You're over thinking Karlie" Cara said as she sit up and make her way toward the kitchen to get a takeout box. "The worst thing that could happen is you guys end up sleeping with each other, which I highly doubt that would happen" Cara said as Karlie swallow and take a deep breath as she though, Yes that's exactly what I'm afraid of.
Chapter 3: I feel we're close enough, could I lock in your love?
Chapter Text
She's sitting in her living room as she watch Harry lean against the balcony railing and talk to Zayn, who's his friend and her friend, Gigi's boyfriend. She watch the two guy got lost in their conversation as her head fills with the thought of Karlie. She still look exactly the same, always sporting a pair of jeans, t-shirt and expensive looking sneakers. She remembers how Karlie would freak out about shoes whenever they go out shopping, how Karlie always complains about how long Taylor spent in a bookstore when she could spend forever in some geeky shop where they sold newest gadgets. She realized that she remembers every details about Karlie, there were times that she thought she has forgot about the tall girl in beat up Converse shoes that she had met at a party during her sophomore year but once in a while, the little things would reminds her of Karlie. She let out a long sigh as she stare pass her boyfriend and Zayn into the distance, ignoring the fact that Gigi has sit down next to her.
"Penny for your thought?" Gigi said before smiling at Taylor when she jump a bit.
"Hey" Taylor said, tugging a her hair behind her ear.
"You're so quiet tonight. What's up?"
"Nothing it's just…" Taylor shut her eyes for a moment before moving closer to Gigi and lower her voice. "You remember my friend Karlie?"
"Your college best friend, Karlie" Gigi said, confirming that she got the right person and Taylor just nodded. Gigi knows pretty much everything about Taylor since they're friends for a long time.
"I met her at the charity event that I went with Harry last week, you know the one that he completely ignore me the whole time? She found me when I was talking to some people I didn't know and we got to catch up. I told her to call and she didn't so I went to see her at her office today" Taylor burst out everything so fast it took Gigi a while to process everything. She just sit there and stare at Taylor for a while before she said something.
"So what happened?" Gigi ask as she sip the tea in her mug.
"We went out and we almost kissed" Taylor said casually which almost make Gigi choke on her drink.
"You kissed her?!" Gigi said out loud, causing both Zayn and Harry to turn around and stare at them. Taylor just smile and wave at her boyfriend, reassuring that everything is cool before turning back toward Gigi and give her a dead stare.
"ALMOST" She said quietly.
"Are you still in love with her?" Gigi ask, suddenly sounding serious.
"I don't know" Taylor said as she let out a long sigh and lean back against the couch. "I know me and Harry are not on the best term right now and we still haven't sort our problems out but seeing Karlie again just feels right"
"Taylor, you need to think this through" Gigi pause "You can't lead Karlie along like you used to anymore, we're all successful grown ups. You need to figure out whether this is just because you are finding someone to replace Harry or is it purely because of Karlie and that seeing her again really makes you feel like how you felt five years ago"
"Point taken" Taylor said "She told me that we should go to her loft and grab dinner…you know, catch up"
"I'm taking that you already said yes"
"I might" Taylor smirk while Gigi just nodded.
"You should go, figure yourself out. It's unfair to keep dragging their feels" Gigi pause and look over to Harry "He loves you, if you're going to let him go, you should do it gently. Don't let it get out of hand" Gigi said before going silence.
/ /
To Karlie: Are you free on Friday night?
She quickly press send and bite her lips as she stare at the screen in front of her, she can see the bubble popping up on the corner of the screen, showing her that Karlie is typing her message.
From Karlie: Yeah, I'm free after six.
To Karlie: Harry is out of town on Friday, he won't be home the whole weekend so I was thinking about taking that dinner you offered ;)
This time, the bubble keep popping up and disappear like she's unsure what she should say and it's driving Taylor crazy. She let out a sigh and place the phone down on the nightstand next to her before reaching pass the phone and grab the book she's currently reading. She could hear the bathroom door unlock and Harry step out wearing just his black pajamas pant with a towel drape over his shoulder. She look at him over her reading glass before going back to focus on her book, if it was three years ago she wouldn't be more focus on her book when she see Harry shirtless. She put her book down and grab the phone, hoping that Karlie's text would magically appears and give her something to focus on.
To Karlie: So…what do you say? If you're lazy to cook, we can order something.
"Hey, babe" Harry said as he hop on the bed, still shirtless. Taylor gives him a glare and continue to stare at her phone. She can see the bubble popping up and she hold her breath. "Who are you talking to?"
"My friend" Taylor said
"Gigi?" Harry said as he flop down on his back, laying on his side of bed with his own phone in his hand.
"Yeah" Taylor lied just to get Harry off the topic. For some reasons, Karlie seems to make Harry tense and become uneasy. "You won't be home this Friday right?"
"Yeah, I'm going to Miami for a photo shoot and meet some clients that Michael wanted me to meet. I'll be back on Monday morning" Harry said before looking over at Taylor. She's lost in her thoughts as her eyes stare intensely at her phone. She's watching the speech bubble rise and fall and every time it pissed her off. She knows that Harry is saying something to her but she didn't pay attention, everything he said just went straight pass her.
"Taylor, babe, are you listening?" Harry ask as he reach over and touch her arm lightly, making her finch.
"What was you saying?" Taylor ask, putting her phone down on her lap. "Sorry I zoned out"
"It's alright" Harry pause and give her a smile "I was asking whether you want to come with me to Miami, you can chill on the beach and read or write while I do my work" Harry offer and Taylor is debating whether she should say yes since Karlie keeps annoying her with all the typing bubble and won't answer her. She look at Harry and about to give him the answer when she feel her phone vibrate.
From Karlie: Sure, anything you want :) Looking forward to see you this Friday.
Taylor look up from her phone and stare at Harry and take a deep breath. Oh well.
/ /
It's Friday and Taylor find herself standing in front of Karlie's apartment building with a bag of Chinese take outs in her hand. She press the door bell and wait for Karlie's voice to come through the speaker.
"Hello?" Karlie said through the speaker.
"Hey…it's Taylor"
"Oh hey! Come on in, just come to the top floor" Karlie said as Taylor hear a buzz. She step in to the elevator and lean against the wall behind her, she feels like it takes forever for the elevator to reach the top floor but when it does she feel her breath hitch. Karlie is waiting for her, she's wearing just a simple white tee, cropped jeans and a white sneaker. Her hair is tousle and there's a lazy loop-side smile on her face and Taylor feel like she have seen this version of Karlie before, domestic and simple Karlie. Taylor step out of the elevator slowly as Karlie step aside, she try to keep her eyes on the ground as she stroll pass Karlie. She start to feel like they were back in their college year where Taylor would show up to Karlie's dorm room when there's nowhere else for her to go.
"Hey" Karlie said quietly as Taylor step out of the elevator.
"Hey, you" Taylor said before she reach for Karlie's arm and grab it as she stand on her toe and kiss Karlie's cheek. Karlie could feel her cheek burning as she leads Taylor toward her front door and threw it open. It reminds her of the first time she ever walk in to Karlie's dorm room but in an upgrade version. There's a big screen TV on her living room wall with shelves fills with movies and books lining up the wall, the beige color couch is filled with cushions and blankets. The open kitchen is right across the living room with an industrial style decoration, Taylor follow Karlie as she leads her through the hallway in to the kitchen before Karlie's phone ring, breaking the silence between them.
"Oh, it's Derek. I'm going to need to take this or else he would be piss again, make yourself at home okay? I'll be back" Karlie said with a smile before leaving the kitchen and walk toward the balcony door. Taylor put the box of take out on the kitchen island before wander through Karlie's loft. She finds herself walking in to Karlie's office, it's a simple white room with large window over looking the park across her apartment, pictures are lining on the wall and a shelf with souvenirs from places that she has been. Taylor walk along the wall and observe all the pictures that were hung on the wall. There are pictures of her sisters and her parents, picture of her and Cara grinning widely on the rooftop somewhere then there's a picture of her and Derek standing in front of her office building. Taylor slowly make her way to Karlie's work table in front of the large window, there's a large iMac on one corner of the table and a MacBook laptop lay haphazardly on the table. Then something caught her eyes, it’s a small frame that set right in front of the iMac like she's trying to hide it from praying eyes, it's a picture of her and Karlie during their last year of college. It was during fall and they went out for a walk around the campus before they head back to Karlie's dorm, it was one of those night that Taylor didn't want to see Harry and she just need to get away from him and Karlie was her escape. She remember how Karlie suddenly pull out her new camera and told her that they should take a picture and they did, Karlie held the camera up high so it can capture both of them while Taylor wrapped her arms around Karlie's waist and rest her chin on Karlie's shoulder, everything was beautiful and it was the only time that Taylor ever feel so alive.
"That's my favorite picture" Karlie said and causing Taylor to jump and turn around, the photo frame still in her hand.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to come in here…" Taylor said as she set the photo down on the table and Karlie just give her a smile.
"It's alright" Karlie said as she makes her way closer to Taylor "I did tell you to make yourself at home"
"But still"
"Really, Taylor, it's okay" Karlie pause "Well, let's get the catch up thing going shall we?" Karlie said and reach for Taylor's hand with a smile as the other girl let out a giggle before leading her toward the kitchen.
"That's so unfair, Swift! What the fuck?!" Karlie shout at her as Taylor laugh hysterically, as soon as they're done with their dinner, they moved from the kitchen to the living room and now Taylor is kicking Karlie's ass over her Game of Thrones Monopoly. "You can't take King's Landing away from me! That's my baby" Karlie said as she throw all her paper money in the air and pout like she's about to give up.
"Remember the first time we play Monopoly? It last until three in the morning and we almost break up over it" Taylor said with a small smile.
"I was flipping the board over and you just keep laughing at me" Karlie nodded and chuckle.
"I know you still wants to flip this board over but since it's Game of Thrones edition, you scare you're going to ruin it right?" Taylor said with a smirk before he lean closer to Karlie, her elbow on her knees.
"Wait, I thought you're a writer, not a psychologist" Karlie said as she lean over the small coffee table, her face is inches away from Taylor. She could literally hear the taller girl breathing while her pale green eyes focus on her blue ones. They're so close and all the alarms in Taylor's head are going off, it's like time slow down when Karlie finally close the gap between them and plant her soft lips on to Taylor's. That's when all the memories comes flashing back, she forget what it's like to be kiss by Karlie, the girl who turned her world upside down five years ago, the same girl who leaves a deep scar inside her heart that couldn't be heal even with time. They break away for a second to catch some breath before Taylor get up from her seat and walk over to Karlie and push her down in to the armchair she's sitting on as she slowly straddle the girl's lap. She cup both of her hands on Karlie's jaw before leaning down and capture her lips again. She doesn't know how long they have been kissing but Taylor likes the way Karlie slip her hands under her shirt and runs it up her back. She likes it when Karlie let out a soft moan when Taylor bite down her lower lips, they were lost in each other's touches and they only stop for a second when Taylor's phone ring. Karlie didn't let go of her when Taylor reach for her phone on the coffee table next to the Monopoly board, Karlie still keep planting a soft kiss on her neck and collarbones.
"Hello?" Taylor said and bite down her lips, keeping herself from moaning.
"Hey babe! I'm just calling to let you know that I'm in Miami" Harry said cheerfully from the other side of the line, snapping Taylor back to reality and tap on Karlie's shoulder, signaling the other girl to stop which earn a groan from the girl who has her face buried in the crock of Taylor's neck.
"Oh, how was it?"
"It's fine, wish you were here with me though. What are you up to babe?"
"I'm just…" Taylor pause and look down at Karlie, who's leaning in her seat but still keep her eyes on Taylor's. "I'm just writing the new chapter for my book"
"I won't bother you then! Call me before you sleep?"
"Sure"
"Bye babe, I love you"
"Bye" Taylor said and hang up the phone way too quick, she toss the phone aside before resting her hands on Karlie's toned stomach and bite down her lower lip.
"Sorry, Harry just landed in Miami"
"It's alright" Karlie said with a smile before sitting up and wrap her arms around Taylor's waist and try to kiss Taylor but she back away before avoiding Karlie's eyes.
"I shouldn't have kiss you…I'm sorry" Taylor said as she get off Karlie's lap and start grabbing her things. "I should go, it's late"
"Taylor…you don't have to" Karlie said with a sad voice, she didn't want Taylor to leave. She walk closer to Taylor and grab her hands before bring them to her lips and kiss each knuckles softly.
"No Karlie, I…I don't want to use you like I did in college anymore. I don't want to fall in to the same pattern and end up hurting you. I want to make it right"
"You're not hurting me" Karlie said "I like it like this, I'm okay with us being like this. I just don't want to let you go again"
"But still it just doesn’t feel right" Taylor said and back away from Karlie before putting her coat on and head for the front door. "I'll see you around, Karlie"
"Okay" Karlie said with a small nod before Taylor open the front door and slip outside, leaving Karlie standing there in a loft apartment that suddenly feel cold for her.
Chapter 4: We were in screaming colors.
Notes:
it's a smut guys, read at your own risk ;) I might not be good at writting all the smut shots yet but I'm trying my best, please be kind :p
Chapter Text
Taylor wakes up the next morning and feel like she's the biggest idiot ever. She groan as she lay face down on her bed and contemplating her life. She really need to figure out her love life out, she can't choose both Harry and Karlie but at the same time, she didn't want to loose both of them. She could hear her phone vibrate a couple of times on the nightstand, she reach for it and let out another groan as she sees her phone fill up with notifications and messages from particularly everyone she knows.
From Gigi: SO...How was dinner? Please tell me you're sleeping in your own bed at your apartment tonight.
From Gigi: You're not answering me, I WILL take that as a No. You better explain yourself tomorrow, Swift.
From Cara: Yo, my favorite writer, heard from Karlie that you're back in town. We need to catch up ;) text me when you're free?
From Harry: Hey babe, I tried calling you a couple times but it went straight to voicemail. I'm guessing that you left your phone no silence again, it's cool. Anyway, I just want to say goodnight. Goodnight, Love xoxo.
Taylor read Harry message and sigh, he's too good for her and there's no right for her to keep holding him back when he could find someone else that would treat him so much better than she could. She should let him go but she know for the fact that Harry would fight until the end to win her back. She scroll pass Harry message and see couple of messages from Karlie, her fingers linger over Karlie's name for a bit before pressing on the chat log to see what Karlie has sent to her.
From Karlie: Hey, I hope you make it back to your apartment safely. I'm so sorry if I push you to do anything you didn't want to do. I didn't mean to.
From Karlie: Taylor, I'm so sorry. We can just be friend if you want to, strictly friend. I know for the fact that it's not what I want but if that mean that you will still be in my life, I can live with that.
Taylor feel like there's a lump in her throat as soon as she read Karlie's second message, she doesn't want that. After what happen last night, she wants to be more than just friend with Karlie but then she's still in a serious relationship, an unstable serious relationship to be precise. The way Karlie touch her and make her feel last was so wrong but it feels so right that every warning signs in her brain just shut off and told her that this is what she has been missing for the past five years. She knows that she need to make things right, she needs to do some damage control, she can't let this go on any longer. She hop out of bed and about to head to shower when she hear her door bell ring, she's thought it might be Gigi checking up on her since she never text the girl back but when she throw her front door open, she froze in her place and suck in a deep breath. Karlie is standing in front of her with her eyebrows raise and two cups of coffee in her hand. Taylor is still in her pajamas, loose t-shirt and a sleeping short.
"Hey, I umm...I hope you still take your coffee like how you did before" Karlie give her an awkward smile.
"How did you find my apartment?" Taylor ask, she's still froze there and stare at Karlie with confusion written all over her face.
"I asked around" Karlie smirk "So is it okay if I come in?"
"Sure, sorry" Taylor mumble and move aside. She leads Karlie toward the living room and Taylor mentally slap herself for not tidy up the place. She doesn't normally leave her stuff laying around but last night she was in a writing mood, so she end up typing away until three in the morning with a little help from hot coffees. The result were two empty boxes of cookies, one empty coffee mug and crumble up drafts on the floor. Karlie stare at the sight before chuckle and turn around to give Taylor a smirk.
"Rough night?"
"The idea just hit me so I have to like...write it down" Taylor run her hand over her face. "I'll clean it up"
"It's okay, I won't be staying long, I need to be somewhere soon" Karlie said and Taylor look at her. "I just came to apologize, you didn't answer my text last night so I got worried. I'm so sorry for what happen last night, I really am"
"Karlie" Taylor said as she close her eyes, crossing her arms and let out a sigh. "It's my fault, I started it. I should be the one apologizing not you" Taylor said and Karlie just nod, looking away from her as she put one cup of coffee down the counter before turning around to face Taylor.
"Okay, if you say so but I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable in anyway" She pause "I think I should go" She said as she make her way toward the front door but only stop when Taylor grab her wrist. Suddenly everything happens too quickly, Taylor pushing her up against the counter causing her to drop her coffee. The next thing she know is Taylor's lips on hers and her hands are gripping tight on her waist. When Taylor let go, she can see that Karlie is confuse and she's staring at her like she's expecting an explanation but Taylor didn't say anything, she just lean back in and kiss Karlie softly. She didn't want Karlie to leave, she just want her to stay here, right here where she wanted her. All the feelings that has been brewing inside her since last night are being pour out through all the kisses and all the bite on each other lips.
"Don't go" Taylor murmured through their kiss as it become heat.
"I'm not planning to" Karlie said as she smile into their kiss before she brush her lips gently on Taylor's lips and bite down on her lower lips. Taylor let out a soft moan and that's when she knows that the table has turned. She push Taylor softly toward the living room before collapsing on to the couch as she's trying to support her own weight on her elbow. She could feel Taylor's hands creeping up under her sweater, her fingertips trace a random lines on Karlie's back as she get lost in the sensation of Karlie kissing her jawline and then down to her neck before sucking lightly on her collarbone. Being with Karlie makes her forget about everything that's going on outside this room, it makes her forgets about Harry, about the fact that she's in a relationship with a guy and about the fact that this girl makes her feel alive like no one else ever did before. She start tugging at Karlie's sweater, signaling the other girl to pull it off. Karlie sit up between Taylor's legs while her green eyes still focus on Taylor's blue one like she's trying to find the explanation for what's going on right now or like she's trying to search for a sign that would tell her to stop. Karlie slowly reach for the hem of her sweater before pulling in off in one swift motion, Taylor's eyes immediately rest on her toned stomach before slowly making their way up to her face. Karlie likes the way Taylor look at her, it's like she's trying to memories everything, she reach for Karlie and tug the girl down before capturing her lips with her own. Karlie let her hands roam under Taylor's t-shirt and smirk as she finds that Taylor is not wearing bra, she could feel Taylor darted her tongue across Karlie's lower lips begging to be let in and Karlie let her. Their tongue starting to fight for dominance, their kiss only break when Karlie pull Taylor's shirt off and start kissing down Taylor chest before kissing and sucking her nipples, earning another moan from Taylor.
"Karlie" Taylor said her name in a breathy voice.
"Yeah?" Karlie said as she look up and meet the dark piercing blue eyes that's staring back at her with desire.
"Stop teasing" Taylor said as Karlie nod as she kiss down the valley between her breasts, sucking the sensitive skin and leaving marks on Taylor's body just like how she always did when they were younger. She slowly push Taylor's t-shirt off before leaning down and kiss the blonde's stomach. Karlie trace her wet lips down slowly before stopping at Taylor's hips and suck on the skin while moans and purr slip out of the blonde beautiful lips, the sounds that she's making is a music to Karlie's ears. She never realize how much she miss hearing Taylor's noise until now. She slowly tug the sleeping short and panties that Taylor is wearing down as she keep on leaving a wet kiss on her skin, she could feel Taylor's eyes on her as she kiss Taylor's inner thigh.
"Fuck me" Taylor curse before Karlie chuckling against her skin. She's completely naked under Karlie, this is like how she always dream it would be and how she hope that she would wake up to this sight every morning. She could feel Karlie's hand running up her chest slowly,
"So impatient" Karlie said as she place a strategic kisses along Taylor's inner thigh before slowly move toward her core. As soon as Karlie's tongue touch the wet fold, she feels Taylor hand in her hair, keeping her where she wanted her to be. The grip become tighter when she slip two fingers inside and start pumping it while her tongue furiously lap the entrance. Taylor buckle her hip when Karlie curl her fingers and start mumbling things that doesn't make sense to her but she likes the sound of it, it didn't take long for Karlie to feel Taylor's wall tighten around her fingers before come undone. Karlie keep her fingers inside and let Taylor ride out the orgasm as she plant a soft kiss inside her thigh, sucking the skin softly as she hear Taylor moan in satisfaction.
"Oh god, I seriously forgot how that feels like" Taylor said breathlessly before letting out a small whine as she feel Karlie pull her fingers out of her. She watch as Karlie slowly bring her fingers up to her lips and suck it clean causing Taylor to bite down her lower lips and feels turn on over again. "Come here" Taylor whisper as she pull Karlie down toward her and kiss the other girl, she could taste herself on the Karlie's tongue and it turns her on so much. Harry has never make her feels like her skin is on fire whenever he run his fingers down her body, he never makes her feel like she couldn't breathe when he's not touching her, he never make her feels like she want him closer but Karlie makes her feel all of those things. She could feel Karlie's hands running down the side of her body and her fingertips trace a random shape on her body which makes her breath hitch. She reach behind Karlie and undo her bra before grabbing her shoulder and flip them over.
"Hello there" Karlie said with a smirk, her hands rest on Taylor's waist while Taylor straddle her waist.
"Hi" Taylor pause as she lean down and kiss her before bitting down and pull Karlie's lower lips, making the girl moan. "I believe it's your turn"
"Please" Karlie said as Taylor smile against her lips before reaching down between them and undo the button on Karlie's jeans, she can hear Karlie moan as Taylor run her fingers along the entrance.
"You're so wet" Taylor murmured in to her lips before she slip two fingers inside, making Karlie moan loudly. Unlike Karlie, Taylor doesn't really tease. She only do so when she's in the mood but now she just want to see Karlie come undone underneath her just like how it used to be. She start to pump her fingers faster as she feel the ache between her legs coming back, that's when she feel Karlie lift her leg up and touch her core. She let out a soft moan as she start grinding down on Karlie's thigh, it didn't take long for them to come undone together.
"That was..." Taylor mumble as she lay on top of Karlie with her head rest on her shoulder, she can feel Karlie breathe heavily underneath her and when she looks up, she can see that Karlie is still trying to regain her thoughts.
"That was fucking good" Karlie burst out and both of them laugh.
"Wait, didn't you said you suppose to be somewhere earlier?" Taylor said with a smirk.
"A meeting but fuck that, it can wait" Karlie said before wrapping her arms around Taylor, keeping her close to her. "I'm the CEO, I can do whatever I want and plus, I like it so much better here"
"Hmm, me too" Taylor said before leaning in and kiss Karlie's lips. The kiss suppose to be just a passionate one but as soon as Karlie bite down on Taylor's lips, Taylor just lost all of her self control. Karlie can feel Taylor grinding down on her waist and smirk as she sit up before tighten her arms around the blonde's waist.
"Bed?" Karlie ask between their kisses.
"Yes, bed" Taylor said before Karlie stand up, earning a squeal from Taylor as she quickly wrap her arms around Karlie waist while they stumble their way toward the bedroom.
/ /
Taylor doesn't remember how long she was asleep for but she woke up to an empty bed and Karlie is already gone. She let out a breath as she look at the clock on her nightstand that told her it's almost lunch. She finally get out of bed make her way toward the bathroom, that's when she sees a post-it not stick on her bedroom door with Karlie's handwriting written all over the small piece of paper.
Gotta run to that meeting but I can come back with some take out for late lunch if you want me to. Sorry I took off without telling you. You look so beautiful when you were sleeping, I didn't want to wake you up.
See you later, babe
Xoxo, Karlie.
Taylor can feel herself smiling like a teenager girl, she carefully peel off the note and put it in the box in the drawer of her make up table where she knows Harry won't look through before hop in to shower. After her shower, she decide to grab a quick coffee and answer everyone's texts before giving Karlie a call.
"Hey sleepy head" Karlie pick up the phone within two rings and it makes her smile.
"Hey, are you out of that meeting?"
"Almost, they're taking a break right now" Karlie pause and Taylor can hear someone, probably Derek, said something to her. "I'm going back in soon but...are you up for that take out?" Karlie said and Taylor swear she could feel her smile when she said that over the phone.
"Yup, that's why I'm calling actually" Taylor said as she bite down her lips, feeling the butterflies in her stomach that she haven't felt for so long.
"Chinese sounds good to you? I know this place with killer spring roll"
"Sounds amazing"
"Awesome, I'll see you in a bit then" Karlie said as she let something hang in the air, those words that they both wanted to say but couldn't "Bye, babe"
"Bye" Taylor said before handing up the phone and smile at it. She knows she shouldn't be doing this, they both know it but there's no point of resisting when it's eventually going to happen anyway. They will always drawn together, no matter what happen. Taylor could feel her phone vibrating in her hand and when she look down, it's a text from Harry.
From Harry: Hey! How's your day today? I miss you .
Taylor suddenly feel like she couldn't breathe, she has been ignoring his text since this morning and she doesn't want him to get suspicious. All she want to think about right now is Karlie and how she would be spending the rest of her day with the girl she like not about her boyfriend that she doesn't love anymore. So she close her eyes and let out a long sigh before quickly answer Harry text.
To Harry: It's good, miss you too.
She let out a long breath as she put her phone down on the coffee table and wipe her hands on the pillow. She really need to figure this out or else it's going to be really messy.
Chapter 5: You got to me.
Chapter Text
"What time do you need to leave again?" Karlie ask as she kiss the skin behind Taylor's ear as she feel the girl ease in to her arms and lean against her chest. Taylor stroke Karlie's hand that rest on her stomach softly with her fingertips and smile as she feel Karlie's lips on the side of her neck. They have fall in to the same pattern as they did five years ago, ever since they slept together two weeks ago, they just couldn't stay away from each other. Taylor has spend all her free time with Karlie just like how she did when they're back in college, some of her stuff are in one of Karlie's drawer and every night that Harry couldn't make it home for dinner, she spend all her time here with Karlie in her apartment.
"Soon" Taylor mumble as she look up at Karlie. "But I don't want to leave, can I stay?"
"You can but aren't you suppose to be meeting Harry?" Karlie said as she look in to Taylor eyes with a lazy loop side smile which makes Taylor frown.
"Can I just cancel on him?" Taylor said before pout.
"No you can't" Karlie said before leaning forward to kiss Taylor on her cheek "He's your boyfriend" she whisper softly and the way she let out a sigh makes Taylor wants to scream. Being around Karlie for the past two weeks makes her realize that her heart is no longer with Harry, she feel like all the question and emptiness in her mind has been filled once Karlie touch her. Every touch, every line that has been trace down her body by Karlie just keeps reminding her how much she miss the girl and she forgets the reason why she left her in the first place.
"Karlie" Taylor said her name softly as she reposition herself to sit facing the other girl and look Karlie in the eyes. "I think I'm going to break up with him" She said and play with Karlie's fingers that still rest on her stomach. She could see Karlie's green eyes searching her face for explanation for the words that she just let slip out of her mouth. She let out a small breath and a soft smile before leaning in and kiss Taylor.
"You don't have to do that" She said quietly as she place another kiss on Taylor's cheek.
"I don't love him anymore, Karlie"
"Taylor you gotta think think this through okay? He's your boyfriend"
"That I no longer love" Taylor point out and Karlie just chuckle. "Come on, Kar, I don't want us to be like this. Sneaking around when we don't have to, I don't want to let go of your hand when I see someone I know, I don't want you to feel like I use you like when we were in college. I don't want that anymore"
"But what we have right now is good. I'm happy, I don't want you to do something that you would regret later" Karlie try to reason with Taylor but it doesn't seems to work, it never works.
"Are you happy with us being like this?" Taylor said with a hint of surprise in her voice.
"I'm happy when I'm with you" She said before leaning in to capture Taylor lips but to her surprise, she lean away.
"But I'm not" Taylor said "I don't want us to be this"
"Taylor" Karlie said before grabbing Taylor's hands "Having you here with me is enough for me. I don't know what this is but this is enough, you're enough. We can keep doing this until…I don’t know, you're sure of what you want because I know that all I want is you" Karlie smile and it just breaks her heart even more because all Karlie ever did was makes her happy while she constantly torture the girl with the fact that she couldn't be with her.
"Promise me you will think about it first" Karlie said as she lift her hand up and stroke Taylor's cheek softly before giving her another sweet smile. "Come on, let's head out so you can make it before Harry comes back from work" She said as she help the blonde off the couch and both of them head toward Karlie's front door with their hands lace together.
/ /
She's leaning against the kitchen counter with a glass of wine in her hand when he walk in. She has a stern look on her face and he know something is wrong; she's never the same since Karlie is back in town.
"Hey there" Harry said as he drop his messenger bag on the coffee table.
"Hey" Taylor give him a smile, she feel weird for doing this; faking and lying. Harry walk over to her and take the glass from her hand before taking a sip.
"How was your day today?"
"It's great! Got a couple of chapters done. I'm kind of ahead of schedule" Taylor gives him a smile. While she fall back in to the old routine with Karlie, with Harry, they falls in to a completely new routine that bothers Taylor. Harry would be out before she even awake and back when she's as sleep. They rarely speaks to each other and Harry seems to notice some changes but he choose to keep his mouth shut.
"That's awesome, babe" He lean in and kiss her on the cheek. "How's Karlie?"
"She's good" That's all Taylor can say. She didn't want to say more than that because she knows that she will start elaborate about how good Karlie makes her feel and how she make her feel like she actually belong to someone both physically and emotionally.
"It's good that you girls are hanging out again. So I don't have to worry that you might get lonely when I'm away" Harry said with a wink which makes Taylor's heart drop; he figured it out?
"She's a good company"
"We should invite her out for dinner sometimes"
"You sure?"
"Positive" Harry said with a smirk.
"Really?" Taylor look at Harry like he just got hit on the head before suggesting dinner with Karlie.
"Babe, we're all friends. I want to catch up with her too, it's been ages"
"I thought you don't like her" Taylor said as she lift her eyebrow.
"I LIKE herr" Harry smile as he reach for her waist, resting both of his hands there and pull her closer. "Come on babe, I want an update on Klossy. Would be nice to catch up with an old friend" Harry said as he lean in and rest his forehead against her, just like how Karlie likes to do it.
"Fine" Taylor said quietly.
"Thank you" Harry lean in and kiss the tip of her nose. "I'm free tomorrow night, can you ask Karlie if she's okay?"
"Sure"
"Splendid" Harry pause and give Taylor a smile. For a moment, Taylor sees the same wild hair boy that she feel in love with five years ago through those sparkling green eyes and lazy loop-side smile but once Harry pull away, the image was gone. "Now what's for dinner?" Harry ask as Taylor roll her eyes before Harry's laughter fills the empty apartment.
/ /
To Karlie: Are you free tomorrow night?
From Karlie: Yes, what's up?
To Karlie: Don't freak out.
From Karlie: … Are you pregnant?
To Karlie: What the fuck? NO.
From Karlie: Oh okay, then what is it?
To Karlie: Harry wants to go to dinner with you. I mean us. He want you to come to dinner with us.
As soon as she send those text, Karlie's call immediately comes through her phone.
"Tell me you're kidding" Karlie said, her voice sounds like she either want to laugh and cry at the same time.
"I am dead serious"
"Fuck" Karlie cursed, Taylor can hear her draw a deep breath from the other side of the line. "I won't be bad right? I mean it's just a dinner. I…I should be fine right?"
"Yeah" Taylor said, not sure if it makes Karlie feels better or not. "Please Karlie, just once. I think he might suspect what's going on between us and plus he said he just want to catch up with you"
"He doesn't hate me? Really?"
"Yeah that's what I thought" Taylor chuckle "So…?"
"Alright, I'll go" Karlie said as she let out another sigh.
"Oh my god, Thank you"
"No worries, babe"
"Seriously Karlie, Thank you. I mean you don't have to meet him but you did"
"Taylor" Karlie said her name and Taylor wish that she's sitting in front of her and said it in person.
"Yes?"
"You got me, Taylor. You got me, since five years ago" Karlie pause "I'd do anything for you"
"Okay"
"I'll see you tomorrow then. Let me know where I'll be meeting you guys okay?"
"Okay"
"Bye, babe"
"I miss you Karlie"
"Miss you too, Love" Karlie said before hang up the phone. Taylor is still smiling as she set her phone down on the nightstand and continue with her writing.
On the others side of the wall, behind the closed bathroom door; Harry hears it all.
Chapter 6: We Were Lovers.
Chapter Text
She's staring at Harry from across the table. He has been on his phone ever since they arrived at the restaurant; she tilted her head and try to remember the first day that they met, its very vivid to her.
They met on her second trimester of her freshmen year. She was in the library doing research for her paper when she sees this wild hair boy walking in to the library. For some reason, she couldn't take her eyes off him. His hair was way shorter back then and more curly that it is now. He was scrawny and tall but now he's more muscular; the only thing that doesn't seems to change was his sparkling green eyes. They still remind the same and so does the way he look at her, it doesn't change at all.
She remembered him barging toward her as soon as their eyes locked. He pulled the chair across from her out and sit down; Taylor still remember the way he chuckled quietly at her face just because she looked like she has a thousand things to say to him but couldn't choose which one to say first.
"Do you mind if I sit here with you?" He said with a thick British accent. He start loosing the accent after spending 4 years in America and for some reason, she was glad.
"No, no. Not at all" Taylor said before looking back down at her notes.
"Man" he mumbled and she look up a bit. "I'm sorry if this came out wrong but…you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Has anyone ever told you that before?" He said with a smile; his face turned a few shades of pink and his green eyes sparks.
That's when he got her. Right from that moment, he got her. Taylor has always been told that she's beautiful but for some reason, no one ever told her up front; no one except Harry. They went out to a movie a week after they met and met up once or twice a week for a coffee. It took Harry two months to ask her to be his girlfriend. It was good for a little while.
A year in to their relationship and the magic has faded. Harry became so busy with all of his projects; he barely come home and they barely talks. He always leaving Taylor alone with an empty apartment and holes in her heart to fill. Their relationship was never the same; Harry became obsess with his photography and Taylor went out to find something to make her feel whole again.
Then there was Karlie; leaning against the kitchen counter, looking cool in black sweater and black cropped-ripped jeans. She remembered the way Karlie stand out from the rest of the crowd. She studied her for a while before making her way down from the second floor to Karlie. They spent the whole night staying close to each other; hands touching and whispers words in to each other ears. It's not like Taylor never flirt with girls before; she would pick them up from bars or café, have a good chat with them before loosing interest. She slept with some of them but never bother to contact back because it doesn't felt right for her. She would flirt with guys when she wanted to or when she wants to make Harry jealous but that doesn't seems to work someone. Harry still doesn't pay enough attention to her and the holes inside her heart keeps getting bigger and bigger.
With Karlie it was different; They couldn't get enough of each other. Karlie filled the space that Harry drilled a hole in her heart. She doesn't mind filling in for someone else, she doesn't mind being the second choice. She never complained and at one point; Taylor fell in love with Karlie. She doesn't know when or where it happened but one day, she just woke up to the sight of this girl sleeping next to her and thought that this is all she ever asked for.
However, the universe thought it would be funny to separate them. Taylor parents decide to send her to England for her master degree along with her boyfriend, Harry; that was also the last time she saw Karlie. Things were great when they were in London, Harry was less neglect and ignorance but Taylor still doesn't feel belong in that town. She missed New York and she missed Karlie. Her writing career kicks off; she became the best selling author and accept high pay freelance jobs from time to time. Those things still doesn't make Taylor happy as Karlie ever made her feels.
Things were almost over between her and Harry when he got down on his knee and she said No. They got in to a big fight that makes Taylor called it quit and packed her stuff to move back to New York with an aim in mind; to find Karlie again. Harry, on the other hand, doesn't let her go that easily and for some reasons she let him came back with her when he said he wants to make it work.
Suddenly, everything falls back in to place when she saw Karlie again at the charity event. Everything felt right and when Karlie let her back in after disappearing for five years; she just felt like after all the mistakes she made, after all the bad decision; moving back to New York was a good one because Karlie is still here waiting for her.
"Babe?" She got snapped back in to reality when Harry wave his hand in front of her. "Hey there" he said with a smile when her blue eyes settle back on his green one; focusing on him once again.
"Hey" she smile.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
"I was just…" Taylor look down and the ring of water on the wooden table in front of her before tracing her finger on it. "I was just thinking about the day we met. Do you remember?"
"Yeah of course" Harry pause and recall the moment. He probably doesn't remember it as well as Taylor does. "We met at the library and the only thing I remember was man…I gotta talk to that girl. She's the most beautiful girl I ever met" Harry said and Taylor just smile. Harry reach over the table and grab her hand, his finger trace lightly on her knuckles; it feel almost too nice but it doesn't give the same burning feeling like when Karlie touch her.
"Hey!" Taylor hear Karlie's voice coming from behind her. Karlie is waking up toward them with a wide smile on her face, Taylor smile at her before quickly pull her hand away from Harry. For a second, she thought see pain flicker across his green eyes as she quickly stand up and greet Karlie. "Sorry I'm late guys, the board was an ass" Karlie said.
"Hey you" Taylor said as she wrap her arms around Karlie's neck and buried her face in to the crook of her neck before secretly plant a soft kiss there. Karlie tighten her hug before slowly release Taylor and move to give Harry a hug, she settle down in a seat next to Taylor; her hand quickly find Taylor's, lacing their fingers together hoping that Harry won't see it.
Taylor glance over at Karlie and smirk, admiring the way she looks tonight. She must have just gotten out of her office; she's wearing her white Thom Browne shirt with crop navy slack pants and a leather Oxford shoes. She likes dapper Karlie, it makes her ten time hotter than she normally does in her grey tees and ripped jeans. She watch as Karlie start talking to Harry about things he has been missing out for the last five years and Harry seems to be enjoying it; too occupied to notice the way Taylor's breath hitch when Karlie place her hand on her knee and slide her hand up her thigh before placing it there, absent-mindedly drawing a circle in her inner thigh.
"Harry you should invite me to your exhibition sometimes" Karlie said as they are halfway through their meals. So far, it's good. At least Karlie haven't stab Harry with her knife yet.
"I'm actually going away to Los Angeles next week for a shoot" Harry said before wiping his lips with the napkin. "My manager, Mike just confirmed the trip couple days ago. It's going to set on 90's retro theme kinda thing. You might like it"
"Wait you're going to Los Angeles?" Taylor said as she rise her eyebrows.
"Yeah, babe, I told you" Harry said as he chuckle.
"No you didn't"
"Yes I did. Maybe you weren't listening, babe" Harry said before shaking his head. Taylor is holding her breath and trying to stay calm. She's sure that Harry didn't tell her, they haven't really talk about anything for the pass two days; he came home when she was asleep and leave when she awakes. She grip the base of her wine glass tightly and stare at Harry. The air around them changes; Harry still have that smirk on his face like he was right. Suddenly she feels Karlie's hand grabbing her hand under the table once again before she pull it over and rest their hands on her lap.
"Los Angeles is going to be hot, I'm telling you" Karlie said as she lift her wine glass up.
"Yeah, that's what I was told" Harry said. Karlie glance over her and give her hand a light squeeze like she's trying to remind her that she's here right next to Taylor.
The conversation continue for a little while before all of them decide to call it a night. Harry and Karlie fight over who's paying for the meals when Taylor excuse herself to the bathroom. She get in and stare at her own reflection, trying to recall everything that has happened for the pass two night; she remembers nothing of Harry telling her that he's going away. She wasn't even angry about him leaving, she was more angry about the fact that he makes her look like she was careless when it was him. She's leaning against the sink when she feel a pair of arms wrap around her waist; pair of pale green eyes staring at her through the mirror. Karlie rest her chin on Taylor's shoulder before placing the most soft and comfortable kiss on her neck.
"Baby" She whisper as Taylor lean in to her.
"He's making me look like I'm an Ass. I'm not, I'm not that careless" Taylor said as she tilt her head to the side, giving Karlie more access.
"He's a jerk, ignore him" Karlie mumble in to her neck.
"I'm glad you're here with me"
"My pleasure. I'll follow you anywhere, babe" Karlie said as her kiss become more intense; Taylor feel like if she kiss a little harder, she would leave marks for Harry to suspect. At this point she doesn't even care. "God, what's with you and white dress. You drive me crazy since the day I saw you at Cara's party" Karlie said as Taylor turn around and cup her face before leaning in and give her a long kiss.
"I'm yours" She whisper as she kiss Karlie and wrap both of her arms around Karlie's shoulder. At this point, Karlie already lift her up on to the counter; her back press against the cold mirror with Karlie standing between her legs. Their tongues fight for dominance while Taylor's hands tugging on Karlie shirt, trying to pull her closer. She could feel Karlie's hand running up her leg, fingertips leaving burning feeling on her skin. Her dress hike up and she feels Karlie's fingers dragging across her stomach on top of her panties waistband; teasing her and making her breath hitch.
"Karlie" she plead. "Please"
"No, not now. Not here" She said against Taylor lips before kissing her and bite down her lower lips.
"You're killing me" Taylor complain as Karlie help her down the counter and watch her fix her dress. Karlie chuckle and didn't say anything; her green eyes are dark and full of desire.
"Come by tomorrow. I'll finish what I started" Karlie whisper in to her ear before heading toward the door. Taylor grab her by the wrist and reach up to wipe her lipstick stain off Karlie's lip before sucking the thumb that she used to wipe the lipstick off.
"It's stain your lips" She said, still sucking on her thumb. She could see Karlie's green eyes focus on her lips then shift toward her fingers.
"Can you come by tonight?"
"Well…I don't know" Taylor said with a smirk.
"Please" Karlie said as she watch as Taylor walk pass her out the door.
"I'll think about it" She said with a wink and left. Leaving Karlie standing there; so turn on and out of breath.
Karlie and Taylor had a long goodbye as Harry went to bring the car around from the car park. Karlie wrap her arm around Taylor's shoulder and bring her close as she snuggle in to Karlie. When Harry pulled over, she give Karlie a kiss on the cheek before whispered something in to Karlie's ear and got in to the car; leaving Karlie standing there, blushing on the side walk. The car ride back to Taylor's and Harry's apartment was quiet. Harry kept his eyes focus on the road while Taylor looked out the mirror; replaying how Karlie touched her and kiss her as her back pressed against the mirror. How the sensation of Karlie's fingertips still lingered on her lower stomach. Karlie was texting her when Harry parked the car in the apartment's garage, that's when he turned and notice the red marks on the side of Taylor's neck.
"Babe, what's wrong with your neck?" He asked as he reached over, trying to touched her but she back away.
"It's probably just a rash" She said she open the door and hopped out of the car. She didn't even bother waiting for him; she just walk toward the elevator, she could hear him shouting her name but she didn't care. She just want to be somewhere where she could think.
Now she's sitting alone in the bedroom, she can her Harry shuffle outside the bedroom door like he's debating whether he should come in. She decide to pack some of her stuff and go over to Karlie's instead of staying at the apartment. She threw everything that she need in to her duffle bag before changing in to a more comfortable clothes. When she open the door, Harry is standing there like he was about to come in but when he sees the bag in her hand, his face expression changes.
"Where are you going?" He ask.
"Away" Taylor said as she walk pass him.
"Come on, babe. I told you that I'm leaving, you just forget. You can't be mad at that it's not even my fault"
"Harry, I swear to god you didn't told me. I would remember if you did because I got your schedule note down in my planner. Do you even remember the conversation that we made for the pass two days?" Taylor said as she walk over to the coffee table to get her laptop and chargers.
"Babe, you're over reacting" Harry said as he rub his hand on his forehead. "I'm sorry okay? Maybe I forgot or something, maybe you didn't hear me when I told you like you might be occupied with sometime because you seems like your head is in the cloud all the time these days"
"You’re saying that this is my fault?"
"I'm not!" Harry raise his voice which makes Taylor stare at him. He just take in a deep breath before continue. "I'm saying that I'm sorry and please calm down"
"God, you could just try to sounds like you mean it when you said sorry, Harry. Seriously, we barely talk and I feel like I don't know who you are anymore. I'm leaving" Taylor said as she stuff her laptop in to her backpack and head toward the door.
"Wait, Taylor" he pause, grabbing her wrist. "We need to talk"
"About what?" She snap, she just want to get out of here; her head and heart is already with Karlie.
"You…and Karlie" Harry said and Taylor stop dead in her track before turning around. "Taylor, you can't fool me. Those marks on your neck are definitely not rash, I heard what you two talking on the phone when you thought I wasn't listening. You guys weren't exactly hiding as well, I see everything Taylor. The way you guys look at each other, how she bolt right after you when you went to toilet" He pause to catch his breath "Lately, you have been spending so much time with her and at first I thought it's good that you have someone to hangout with but now everything is so clear. I'm such a fool, Taylor but I'm a fool for you. You can drag me around while you're all love up with Karlie but I'm not going to give you up Taylor. I'm going to fight for you" Harry said.
"Harry, you don't get it. I stop loving you since we called it quit for the first time and seeing Karlie again just reminds me of what I want and what I'm missing in life" Taylor said as she back away from Harry and head toward the door. "It's over, Harry" she said as she shut the door of her apartment. She don't remember much afterward; she don’t remember what Harry said but she know he shouted after her. She doesn't know where she's going but her feet keep dragging her down the sidewalk toward the place that she wanted to be the most. She found herself standing in front of Karlie's door before finding herself wrapped in Karlie's arms when she threw the door open and find Taylor standing there with tears running down her face.
"What happen" Karlie ask as she hold Taylor tight, rocking her from side to side.
"It's over, Karlie. We broke up"
"Shhh…it's okay. It's alright. I'm here, babe. I'm with you" that's the last thing she hear before she let all the tears burst out.
She didn't cried because she's sad that it was over. She cried for the memories that they had, she cried for what could have been between them. Five years was a long time but she willing to let all of those things goes for the one person she wanted the most, the person who's holding her in her arms; that person is Karlie.
tomboi on Chapter 1 Fri 22 Sep 2017 03:44AM UTC
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tomboi on Chapter 6 Fri 22 Sep 2017 04:16AM UTC
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