Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

That first gasping breath as Spencer broke the water’s surface was always the hardest. His chest was tight and he had to strain to breathe past the burning in his lungs as he took in the oxygen around him. His brain, still caught in that moment of death, that moment of pain, was bracing for agony that was no longer there, and only the experience of far too many years kept him afloat.

It took him a bit but he pushed his body to move until he could finally drag himself up onto the shore. There, he flopped down onto his back, staring up at the sky while his chest heaved.

Amidst the water drying on his face, a single tear slid down his cheek. Spencer closed his eyes against it and tried not to let more fall. He had really hoped that this would be the final time. That this time he wouldn’t wake back up. But here he was once again, alive, when he should’ve been dead so long ago. Would this cycle never end? How many times was he going to have to experience his death before he finally found a way to make it stick?

One would think that, for a being fated to never truly die, death would become easier after a while. That, after experiencing it over and over, one might almost become accustomed to it. But Spencer Reid knew that wasn’t true. Death didn’t become any easier. No matter how many times he died – and it had been plenty during his long years on this earth – it was never any easier. There were some that were simpler, sure. A gunshot to just the right place was quick and almost painless. It wasn’t always the actual dying that was the hard part. It was the coming back.

For a very, very long time now, Spencer had lived with this curse, a curse put on him by someone who had hated him more than he’d ever been hated before. Not that she hadn’t been justified – the pain he’d caused to her and to her family was something he’d never be able to make amends for. Because he’d been young and foolish and in love, he’d thought that nothing could touch him. His lover had been the one to pay the price for Spencer's stupidity. And in return, the witch had made sure that Spencer paid a heavy price as well. One that would make sure he never forgot the pain that he’d caused. She didn’t kill him. No, that would’ve been too easy. Instead, he was cursed to never truly die, so he would never be able to escape the pain. To always, always be brought back, dying and immediately finding himself reborn again in the nearest body of water, all of his possessions gone and his body free of any wounds.

The first time that Spencer died was a date he couldn’t actually be all that sure of. At the time, the place that he’d lived hadn’t been all that big on charting the date. There’d been many times in the course of his life that calendars had been changed. It was that first death that he felt ended his life – and truly began it. Since then, he’d died countless times, in countless different ways. But he would never forget his first.

He’d lived many lives. Been many different men, sometimes under different names. He’d lived through wars and famine, diseases that took out entire cities. He’d loved and he’d lost – oh, how he’d lost. In those lives, Spencer had done the best he could to make the most of his years. To make sure that this curse he lived with might actually bring about some good for someone. But he’d never stopped trying to find a way to break it. To somehow make his next death be his real one.

That answer wasn’t going to be found lying on the shores of the Potomac River, though. Spencer pushed himself up off the ground on legs that finally felt like they might be steady. Then, blessing the darkness of the night, he looked around to gather his bearings before he set off for the small area nearby where he kept a bag hidden for occasions such as this one. The Potomac was close enough to both his work and his home that any time he died in the area, this would be where he’d emerge. So he’d spent a bit of time early on and he’d mapped out the area and found the best hiding spots to stash away clothes so he wouldn’t be forced to try to get back home while naked. He couldn’t do it everywhere, but in strategic places along this river, he had a few.

Inside of his little bag was a change of clothes, thankfully looking like they hadn’t been messed with, and a bit of money that was hidden inside of a tiny pocket on the inside of the cuff of one sleeve. Enough to get him a cab ride home. Spencer dressed himself quickly before anyone might come along and see him and then he headed out to hail himself a cab.

Spencer tried hard not to focus on what didn’t happen tonight and instead focus on what did. Tonight hadn’t been a controlled experiment where he tried to test a new way that would hopefully, finally, allow him to die. Tonight had been a case of bad judgement and a rather unfortunate set of results. Walking alone at night in Washington DC while slightly intoxicated was never a good plan. Tonight had proved that. A wrong turn, a bad part of town, a dark street, and he’d been a prime victim for being mugged.

Absently, Spencer rubbed at his stomach where the knife had sunk into his flesh not even a full half hour ago. That wound was gone, as was any of the alcohol that had been in his system.

He had to hope that his mugger hadn’t seen his face enough to be able to recognize him. The life that he’d built here was one that he loved and Spencer didn’t want to have to abandon it. He felt like he’d done enough running over the years. There’d been so many times he’d had to pack up and abandon town when his secret would’ve been revealed or when questions were starting to be asked. That was why he’d spent so long in solitude. This life here, the life of SSA Dr. Spencer Reid, was his first real foray back into the real world in almost a hundred years. He’d actually made himself a life here. Not the smartest one, sure. He put himself at risk every time he went on a case. All it would take was one person killing him – completely killing him and not just putting him almost there the way that Tobias had done – and his whole secret could be blasted wide open. People would ask questions when a freshly killed body up and vanished.

But, he was happy here. He had a life. Friends. Sure, he’d have to leave at some point when they eventually noticed that he didn’t age beyond thirty. That didn’t mean that he couldn’t enjoy things until then. He just wished he didn’t have to lie to them. Not just about what he was, but about everything. About the whole fictitious childhood that he’d created and that he was lucky enough William and Diana Reid were willing to back him on.

“Hey, buddy.” The voice snapped Spencer out of his thoughts. He looked up only to realize that the cab had stopped and the driver was turned around looking at him with a slightly concerned look on his face. “We’re here.”

A bit of color stained Spencer's cheeks as he realized just how deep in thought he’d been. “Of course. I’m sorry.” He pulled out his money and paid the driver before quickly climbing out.

His feet carried him upstairs to the small apartment that he lived in here. It wasn’t the grandest place that he’d ever lived, nor was it the worst. It was, however, home. At least for now. Spencer made his way inside, needing to use his spare key, and made a mental note to once again get the locks changed. Luckily the only keys he’d brought out with him were his apartment keys. There wasn’t much else he needed a key to right now and the other keys he had were ones he only pulled out when they were needed.

Spencer sighed. “Another great night.” He mumbled to himself. He didn’t even bother turning on the lights after he shut and locked the door behind him. Right now he needed to just get inside and record this little incident before going to bed. Morning was going to come soon enough and he needed at least a little sleep before then.

Despite his wishes, sleep didn’t come as easily to Spencer as he’d hoped. Morning found him needing to make a quick stop off on his way to work to get two coffees – one with an extra shot of espresso – just to make him feel a little more human. Being immortal didn’t mean that he wasn’t susceptible to such things as exhaustion or even illness. He still had to take care of his body, still had to eat and sleep and other human things. There were others out there who had immortality, he knew. Supernatural creatures that the world liked to pretend didn’t exist. Creatures that could and often did kill. But they were different than him. Many of them had been turned, like vampires and werewolves, or created, like demons. Or else they bargained for their immortality by binding themselves to being greater than them.

Spencer hadn’t done any of that. He was still human – just a human with a curse that he’d never been able to remove, no matter his research. He’d looked into curses, studied witches and magic, and he’d even talked to some creatures that he might not ever speak with otherwise. No demon, witch, or even a pagan god he’d found once, were able to do anything.

It took most of Spencer's ride to work for him to get his thoughts under control. If he didn’t want his friends seeing something was wrong the minute he walked in the door, he needed to get himself under control. If he walked in like this they’d take one look at him and know something was up. One of them even more than the others.

By the time Spencer made his way into the BAU bullpen he’d somehow managed to contain his thoughts and actually wake himself up a little. He was grateful for it when he saw his teammates Derek Morgan and Emily Prentiss were already there, the two gathered around Emily’s desk. It was good to see Emily back with them and smiling. After everything with Ian Doyle and Emily’s subsequent ‘death’, it was good to have her back. To have her home. There’d been a lot of pain and anger that had gone around when they’d all found out she was alive. But they were all making an effort now. They were trying to work past it and become not just a team, but a family once more.

Emily was the one to see him first and her smile was bright enough to draw an answering one out of him almost immediately. “Reid! I was beginning to wonder about you.”

Her words had Derek turning until he could see Spencer. Then he was smiling as well and calling out his own greeting. “Hey, kid.” His eyes landed on the cup in Spencer's hand and a knowing look lit his eyes. “Stopped off for an extra cup, huh?” Derek knew the name of the places that Spencer liked to go to for his coffee. They’d made the stop there plenty of times when Derek had driven them both to work. The two friends had ridden in with each other more than once.

Spencer chuckled as he made his way over to his desk. “I found myself in need of a bit of a pick-me-up this morning.”

Just as he’d intended, the humor in his words gave them an entirely different meaning, one that Derek took to easily. His grin grew and he turned to better face Spencer as he teased him, “That’s what happens when you actually get out and have fun, kid. You should do it more often.”

“Your definition of fun and mine are two entirely different things.” Spencer teased, making the other two laugh. After setting down both coffees, he pulled the strap of his messenger bag over his head and dumped the bag down onto his desk.

The group talks teasingly for a moment and then another voice joins into the mix. Emily moved her chair over so she could look around Derek to still be able to see Spencer. She eyed the two cups and then flashed a smile up at him. “Must’ve been some night if you need two coffees just to recover from it.”

“Only one of them is mine.”  To prove that point, Spencer picked up the one cup and took the last drink.

“Aw, kid! You shouldn’t have.” Derek said, leaning forward to reach for the other cup.

Spencer snatched it up before Derek could get to it and shot him a dry look. “It’s lucky, then, that I didn’t.”

“Look at you!” Emily let out a low laugh. “Aren’t you just snarky this morning, Dr. Reid?”

He smiled at her despite the blush that warmed his cheeks. Lack of sleep always made him a bit more sarcastic and mocking, something that those close to him could attest to. To try and cover up his embarrassment at being caught out he took a step back from his desk and turned to head for the stairs. The sound of their laughter followed him up the staircase and only deepened his blush more. Spencer knew they were going to be having fun with this for the rest of the day. Much as it would probably worry Derek, the other profiler would most likely take advantage of it. He always joked that he loved when Spencer showed some of the ‘attitude you hide under all those sweater vests and shy smiles’.

Spencer ignored his friends and went down the row, pausing to rap his knuckles at one of the closed doors. The low “Come in!” had him opening the door up and sticking his head in first, double checking to make sure no one else was in there and that he wasn’t interrupting anything. When he saw no extra people in the room, Spencer let his smile grow and stepped inside, holding out the coffee with one hand while he shut the door behind him with his other. “I come bearing coffee.”

David Rossi set down the papers in his hand and smiled right back at Spencer. “Is that Lucille’s coffee?”

“Of course.” Walking over, Spencer handed the coffee over before he sat down in one of the chairs across the desk from Dave. “Would you expect anything less?”

“You spoil me, kiddo.”

A scowl touched Spencer's lips. He glared at the man across from him, getting a low chuckle in return. “You get far too much enjoyment in calling me that, David.”

The smile that Dave wore as he settled back in his chair said that Spencer was right. He took a sip off his coffee, making a happy humming sound in the back of his throat at the flavor. The both of them loved Lucille’s coffee. She was the woman who owned the little bakery that Spencer loved stopping at. She had the best muffins, cakes, and coffee in DC. “It’s only fair.” Dave said, taking another sip. “You still insist on calling me David.”

“It’s the name your mother gave you.”

“And you’re the only one that uses it.”

There was no denying that. Pretty much everyone they knew called Dave either ‘Rossi’ or just ‘Dave’. The only person that used his full name was Spencer – and even then, only when they were in private. Otherwise he used Rossi just the same as everyone else did.

The coffee was cradled between both of Dave’s hands as he stared at Spencer for a minute. One eyebrow arched up over those sharp eyes. “I get the feeling you didn’t come in here to talk about my name, though. What’s going on, Spencer?”

There were very few people in Spencer's life that he felt he could talk candidly with. With most people, there were so many lies that Spencer had to hold on to, things that he couldn’t or wouldn’t say openly. It made it hard to get close to anyone. But there were a select few that knew there was more to Spencer than met the eye. Even fewer who knew some of the actual secrets that lurked underneath the surface. A few members of the Reid family tree – and the man sitting in front of him.

Contrary to the image they put out at the Bureau, one that the two of them had carefully crafted, Spencer and David had known one another for quite a long time. It was only to protect Spencer and his secrets that they kept up the façade of having only just met when Dave came back to the Bureau.

That openness was one of the reasons that Spencer had come in here this morning. He needed someone who understood. Someone who knew his secret and who he could talk freely in front of.

“I died last night.”

The bluntness of his words probably would’ve elicited some sort of stunned or sad response from the few others that knew his secret. Dave, however, snorted before taking another drink off his coffee. “How’d it happen this time?”

Spencer licked his lips and arched both eyebrows at Dave. “Your sympathy is overwhelming, David. Try not to be so emotional – it’s embarrassing.”

“I’ll try to restrain myself.”

This was one of the reasons why Spencer chose Dave to talk to. The man’s good humor, his easy-going personality. He was a perfect counter to Spencer's logic and facts. Sometimes he was exactly what Spencer needed to help pull him out of his dark headspace. Wiping a hand over his mouth, and conveniently covering his smile, Spencer shook his head. “I was mugged on my way home from my night out with Morgan. They took my things and stabbed me in the process.”

“Not the best way to die.” Despite Dave’s cavalier tone, his eyes sharpened. “Did you see their face? Or did they see yours?”

“I don’t know.” Which was the problem here. Spencer had no idea if his mugger had seen his face. He didn’t think so, but ‘maybe’ was a hard thing to live with in this scenario.

The same worry that Spencer felt was reflected back at him in Dave’s eyes. Spencer wasn’t just in here for what Dave had often called the ‘after death blues’ that hit sometimes. He was here because they might potentially have what could turn out to be a very serious problem. If this mugger had seen Spencer's face, could actually identify him if he saw him, then Spencer was going to be in a world of trouble. It wasn’t like Spencer was the most popular and famous person in the world. He was, however, a federal agent, and was occasionally seen on television. Being at the BAU often put them in the public eye. If his mugger saw video of him, recognized him, he’d know that the guy he attacked hadn’t actually died there.

Dave absently tapped his fingers against his coffee cup. His brow furrowed and his lips pressed together for a moment in an expression that Spencer knew meant he was thinking. When dark eyes flashed up to Spencer again, they were more serious than before, the teasing edge gone from them. “Whoever did this – did they stick around afterwards, or just take their loot and run?”

“Last I saw before I was in the water was the man backing away from me and turning like he was going to run.” Spencer answered. He’d replayed the memory enough times through the night to be sure of that, at least. “It’s highly unlikely he saw me vanish. If he turned back to check on me, however, he would’ve seen the empty ground.” But that was fine. That, at least, wouldn’t arouse too much suspicion. The human mind was quite adept at making up excuses for things it didn’t understand.

The reassuring way Spencer said that had Dave relaxing just a little. “Good. Anything left behind?”

Many a personal item and piece of clothing had been lost when Spencer ‘vanished’ after death. If he wasn’t fully wearing it, or carrying it in his pocket, it was left behind wherever he died at. Whatever he wore on him – he had no explanation for it, but they all ended up right back where he’d gotten them from that morning. His clothes were always back in the bag, drawer, or closet where he’d pulled them out from that morning, and any items in his pockets were back in the little box that normally held them or on top of his dresser. “No, nothing. It all made it back.”

“Then you should be fine.” Dave let himself relax now and his smile was warm and open once more. “We just make sure to try and keep you away from the press for the next little while so your face isn’t out there. If the guy sees and recognizes you later, he’ll just think he failed in killing you. You’re safe, Spencer.”

Many a time through the night Spencer had tried to tell himself that. Hearing it from someone else was different, though. It helped him finally start to believe it. When he smiled at Dave, it was both relaxed and shy, more like his normal smile. “Thanks, David.”

“Anytime.”

Their conversation proved to have rather perfect timing. No sooner had they wrapped things up than there was a rap at the door. Both men looked up as the door opened and Aaron Hotchner stuck his head in. The Unit Chief didn’t even bat an eye at seeing the two of them sitting in there. It wasn’t the first time he’d walked in when they were having a conversation; most of the BAU seemed to think the two rather suited to talking with each other. Aaron wasn’t bothered by it and wasted no time in telling them “We’ve got a case.” before he ducked back out.

In an instant Dave and Spencer were moving. They pushed up from their chairs and made their way quickly towards the door that Aaron left open.

Spencer held the door open for Dave, gesturing for him to pass. “Come on, kiddo.” Spencer said, amusement making his lips twitch. “Let’s go to work.”

He couldn’t help but smile as Dave laughed his way out of the room.

Chapter Text

The case was a brutal one. Spencer always hated these kinds of cases. The ones that were so violent, so full of rage. He’d studied the people that could do this many times and in many ways during his long life, yet Spencer couldn’t help but think that he would never fully understand them. The genius sat back in his seat on the jet and stared down at the file in his hands. Spencer much preferred the hard copies to looking at everything on those stupid little computers everyone carried around with them.

Seeing as much death as Spencer had didn’t make him immune to it. He had, however, built up a tolerance – an ability to remove himself from it just enough that the scientist inside of him could step forward and observe. It still hurt him. Inside, where he didn’t let people see, each body that he saw hurt him. It reminded him what humans were capable of and just how much of monsters they could truly be. Yet he couldn’t let it stop him from doing his job. He had to keep it together if he wanted to have any hope of catching the one responsible for this.

This Unsub was already showing quite a taste for violence and it seemed to be escalating with each kill. What had started out as a serial rapist had evolved into a sadistic killer who now held his victims for almost a full day before killing them. Right now the death toll was at four. What he did to them when he had them – reading the reports made Spencer feel sick. The man truly seemed to be a sadist. The type of violence he showed was careful and controlled, meant to hurt and yet, it looked like it was all spaced enough to never completely knock his victim out. He didn’t want to allow them the escape of unconsciousness. He wanted them awake and aware of every single moment of pain.

“We're going to have to hit the ground running on this one.” Aaron said, his low voice interrupting Spencer's thoughts and bringing him back to the present. The BAU team was spread around their jet, all of them looking at their files. Aaron stood off to the side and looked down at all of them, the mask of the profiler already in place, nothing showing through. “JJ, you and I are going to head to the latest victim's house and speak with her parents. Prentiss, Morgan, I want you two to head to the morgue. Dave, Reid, take the latest dump site; see if maybe you can see anything the others haven't.”

Spencer could handle that. Dump sites could be hard, but they could also offer a lot of information.

Looking back down at the folder in his hands, Spencer deliberately avoided looking at the pictures of the dump site. Now that he knew he was going there first he didn't want to cloud his vision with whatever the people snapping the pictures had thought he should see. He wanted to get his own look so he could form his own opinions on what was important. Photographs always left you looking at the things that the photographer thought were important.

The team settled down into their papers and tablets, reviewing everything they'd been given, quiet falling around them. This case was one that needed to be solved quickly. The cooling off period between each death was getting shorter. Only four in and the Unsub's technique was improving as well. He was getting better. He was also enjoying it more.

They needed to stop him before he took another woman.

Everyone hit the ground running once they arrived. Springfield, Missouri wasn't a large town, but it was big enough for there to be a local field office, and they had cars waiting for them all. Everyone split off into their assigned teams and they all headed out, not even bothering to head to the station first. Aaron would go there later and get things squared away once they were done at the victim's house. For now everyone had their jobs to do and they went out to do them.

Spencer continued to look at the files he held as he sat in the passenger seat of the SUV. Even if he hadn't quite found it yet, there was always something in the files to help. Something to clue him in on their Unsub. Sometimes it just took a bit of looking.

“Any ideas yet on what we're looking for?”

Dave's question didn't even make Spencer look up. They were on a case now, their relationship mostly business, and this was an area they were both comfortable in. Spencer let his eyes drift over the words in front of him while he absently answered the other man. “Have you seen the condition of some of these girls? Not what was done to them, but how they were before? Most of them were athletic in some way or another, their bodies in at least somewhat good physical condition.”

“Meaning he'd have to be as well.” Dave said agreeably.

It made sense. To be able to handle a girl in good physical condition, he was going to have to be in good physical condition as well. Yet, “Why does he blitz attack them, then? Why does he need to subdue them that way if he's physically capable of taking them down himself?”

“He could have something he’s trying to hide. A physical deformity, maybe, that puts people off. One that would make him recognizable.”

“It could be something as simple as a scar. Something that makes him stand out. Makes him different.” It could be a small part of why he’d started with rape, too. Spencer made a brief mental note to bring it up with the rest of the team later.

The walk through the dump site didn’t yield them much information. Then again, the fact that they didn’t find anything gave them information as well. It told them that the person they were hunting for was smart and meticulous. He'd made sure to pick a space to dump the victim that wasn't visible, so he wouldn't draw any unwanted attention, and there were no cameras nearby to catch anything. He'd left behind no clues. No footprints, no tire tracks - nothing to show that he'd even been here. Just the body of a young girl whose life had been cut way too short, tossed out here wrapped in a tarp and left to lie there like yesterday's garbage.

It made Spencer sick in both body and spirit. He used that sickness, though. Channeled it and used it to fuel his motivation to catch this Unsub.

When Dave took them to the local PD, the rest of the team was already there and the conference room had been set up for them. The first thing that Spencer saw was the giant map pinned up to an old fashioned corkboard and his focus immediately went there.

Because of that, he didn't see the other officers in the room. Nor did he hear any of them try and greet him.

Dave let out a low chuckle as he followed Spencer into the room. While Spencer went straight to the board that had been set up for him, Dave turned his focus to Aaron and the other officers that were staring after Spencer. “You'll have to pardon him.” Dave said, one corner of his mouth quirking up. “He tends to get a bit of tunnel vision when working a case.”

The older of the two officers shrugged one shoulder and cast a quick look back at Spencer. “If it helps us catch this SOB before another girl gets taken, your guy can be as tunneled in as he wants.”

“What is he doing?” The other, younger officer asked. Confusion was written on his face in the furrowed eyebrows and the little lines that grew around his mouth as he watched Spencer.

Dave only had to take one look to understand what was confusing the guy. Really, he didn't even need that. He already knew what Spencer would be doing.

Aaron didn't turn to look. He kept facing the officers even as he confidently answered them, sure in what his agents were doing. “Dr. Reid is working on a geographical profile to try and help us narrow down our Unsub's comfort zone. Hopefully it'll be able to help us narrow down our search.”

“In the meantime, the rest of us should gather and see what we can get.” Dave said, drawing the conversation back to where it needed to be. “Did Prentiss and Morgan find anything at the Morgue?”

Everyone gathered together at the table. The only person who didn't sit down was Spencer, though he kept an ear on their conversation. A conversation that basically amounted to 'nothing'. No one had found anything that would give them any real clues as to who this might be.

Victimology was most likely going to be their best help here. Trying to figure out what connected the girls together. What made the Unsub choose them?

Was it looks? They all shared a similar build but their appearances varied. One girl was blond, almost a cheerleader type. The next, gothic, with pink and black hair. The third was brunette and clearly a tomboy judging by the shorter hair and the soccer uniform in her picture. The last, another blond, though this one was shyer looking, with glasses that would’ve probably had her labeled a nerd in school. Their ages ranged from sixteen to twenty. What did these four girls have in common? What did they share that the Unsub was latching on to?

There was always some sort of connection somewhere. Something that would lead them back to their Unsub. They just had to find it.

Sleep didn't come easily for any of the BAU that night.

Though they all went to their separate rooms, each agent stayed up a little later, going over the information that they had. Playing it through in their minds. They knew they had a day, at most, before the Unsub would take another girl. A day in which to find some sort of clue that might lead them to the monster they hunted.

There were sometimes on cases like these that Spencer couldn't help but think how much easier it was to hunt real monsters. Vampires, werewolves, ghosts – they all followed certain patterns. There were rules. Things that you could predict.

Humans were the same, only to an extent. There were things that could be predicted and yet there was so much more that couldn't. There were countless different things that could affect the choices that the Unsub made or the things they did. And the things that a human mind could come up with to do to another human was often far worse than any of the monsters Spencer had ever encountered. The only thing he came across that was worse were demons - which wasn't saying much, really, as demons were simply human souls twisted and broken in hell.

By the time morning rolled around, Spencer was making his way to the coffee shop down the street from their motel in hopes of getting something to wake him up a little bit. He'd noticed the place when they'd been on their way to the motel last night and had made a note of it for just this reason. He'd known he wasn't going to sleep well. None of them ever did while on their cases.

Spencer was surprised to find Derek outside looking like he, too, was on his way out.

The other man looked up at the sound of Spencer's footsteps. Almost instantly a smile touched his lips. He looked Spencer over with a glance that most likely took in every sign of Spencer's mostly sleepless night. Sure enough, Derek huffed out a sound that might've been a laugh and said “You too?”

“Yeah.” Spencer didn't even bother denying it. He adjusted his bag over his shoulder and gestured absently in the direction of the coffee shop. “I was just going to go get some coffee to try and wake up a little before we head in. Care to join me?”

“Sure thing, kid.”

There were quite a few outside of the BAU who found the friendship between Spencer and Derek a little bit strange. They both fit two totally different stereotypes. The geek and the jock. Yet, Derek was one of the first friends that Spencer had made at the BAU, and he'd become one of the best. He'd been there for Spencer through quite a lot and hadn't been scared away. Even if he sometimes rolled his eyes at the things Spencer said, or got lost in one of Spencer's rambles, Derek was always there to listen to him. Always there to talk to him. If there was anyone that Spencer had ever seriously contemplated revealing his secret to, it was Derek.

The two didn't really say anything to each other as they walked down the road. It was one of the benefits of being close with someone; sometimes there was just no need to talk.

The coffee shop came into view quickly enough and Derek made a happy sound as the door open and the scent of coffee and various bakery items drifted out to them. Bread, sweets, a hint of something with cinnamon. It was enough to make the mouth water. “Oh man, kid.” Derek grabbed hold of the door and pulled it open, gesturing Spencer inside. “This place smells delicious. How'd you find this?”

“It was the closest shop to the motel. I hadn't been inside yet.” Now that he was, the smell was even better. Spencer stood in the semi full shop and drew in a deep breath of that amazing smell. It brought him back to a different time and a different place when bakeries like this were more common. When you could find your way to one by following your nose down the street.

Derek was looking around as well, his gaze just a bit amused as he took in the not-so-great looks of the place. “You'd think a place that smells like this might at least look a little better.” The profiler murmured.

Privately, Spencer had to agree. The place itself was in serious need of some fixing up and the staff didn't really look all that thrilled to be serving. But that was all outweighed by the mouthwatering scent of the food and the almost orgasmic expressions people wore as they ate their food.

Together, the two profilers waited in line until they could finally step up and place their orders. It took a little longer than they might've liked to wait for their turn to order but Spencer was sure that it was going to be worth it. He wasn't surprised when Derek ordered something to eat, the same as he did, to go with his coffee. They also made sure to order coffees and some other pastries for the rest of the team.

“I hope it's as good as it smells.” Derek said, waiting with Spencer near the pick-up area. The two were leaning against the wall, all the tables down here taken.

Spencer smiled over at his friend and couldn't quite resist teasing him. “Do you think with anything but your stomach, Morgan?”

“Sure I do.” Derek's grin grew wide and he winked boldly at Spencer.

Immediately a blush filled Spencer's cheeks. “Morgan!”

The deep sound of Derek's laughter turned more than a few heads and garnered the man a few appreciative looks. If Derek noticed, he didn't show it. He was looking at Spencer and beaming rather proudly. “You're too easy, pretty boy.”

“Now that sounds like fun.” Another voice chimed in.

Spencer and Derek both turned to look in the direction of the voice. They found a man standing behind the counter, a bag in one hand and a tray of drinks in the other. Spencer started to smile until his eyes landed on the man's face. Then everything inside of him froze.

The world around Spencer faded away as he stared down into a pair of whiskey colored eyes that he'd seen on a person only once before – and had never expected to see again. He watched as they widened at the sight of him, shock flashing in their depths, telling him that the man recognized him as well.

Frozen, Spencer just stared. “Tomas?”

Chapter Text

May, 1956

Spencer hadn't meant to get involved. He'd been in town for a simple visit, nothing more. He had no idea how he'd managed to get roped into helping out on a hunt of all things. Well, yes, he knew how. One look at the person he was with and he knew exactly how he'd been roped into this. He never could resist helping out someone he cared about. And he knew that he couldn’t let twenty two year old Melissa go into this hunt on her own. “But if it goes wrong, Melissa, mark my words, I'll take no blame for it.” He'd warned her.

Sometimes Spencer really wished he could be wrong once in a while.

The hunt was supposed to be a simple werewolf hunt. A quick hunt, a few silver bullets, and they'd be out of there before dawn. That should've been Spencer's first warning. Nothing was ever simple.

He and Melissa found the werewolf – but not before it found a new victim. One that it’d apparently wanted to toy with a little first.

The sight of the woman lying on the ground in a pile of blood, yet still breathing, still struggling, was enough to have Spencer reacting before he could even finish thinking. His gun was out and the bullet firing even as he was racing forward. Beside him, he heard the sound of Melissa's gun as well. Both of their bullets struck true.

The werewolf had barely hit the ground when Spencer reached the woman's curled up body. His hand touched her arm and she went into an immediate panic. She lashed out, fists flying, only she'd lost too much blood for her hits to do any sort of damage whatsoever. “Ma'am, ma'am! It's all right.” Spencer hurried to say, cursing himself for not announcing himself right away. He caught her hands with his and gently lowered them down, moving himself into a squat to try and take a look at her. His eyes ran over her even as he opened his mouth to continue to reassure her - only for his voice to dry up as his eyes landed on the one thing he hadn't noticed before. The woman hadn't been curling into a ball to try and protect herself. She'd been curled into a ball to try and protect a very, very pregnant stomach. More than that, a stomach that was tightening in what Spencer knew was the sign of a contraction. She wasn't just pregnant - she was in labor.

“Oh, no.” A soft voice said beside him.

Spencer felt it as Melissa dropped down as well. She went to the woman's head, hands going out to smooth back her hair and try to soothe her. The little whimper of pain that the woman gave was enough to get Spencer moving. The doctor in him couldn't just sit there while someone was hurting.

Unfortunately, the more he looked her over, the worse it became. Especially when he found the bite on her leg.

Spencer's eyes flashed up to meet Melissa's. In that moment the truth passed back and forth between them and he could see that she understood. This woman wasn't going to survive. She probably wouldn't even survive to make it to the hospital. Even if, by some miracle, she did, she would end up turning. The bite made sure of that. Her fate, it was sealed. There was nothing they could do about it. However, that didn't mean that the child was doomed.

Another contraction gripped her and the woman cried out, trying to curl in, trying to breathe through the pain.

“Shh, shh.” Melissa said soothingly, stroking her hands over the woman's face, trying to soothe her. “It'll be all right. My friend here is a doctor. He's going to take care of you.”

The first thing they needed to do was to get her away from here. Away from the blood and the body right beside her. There was no way they were going to get her far; the contractions weren't that far apart and she was injured too badly. But they could get her at least somewhat moved. No child should have to be born next to the body of the werewolf responsible for killing their mother.

“Ma'am...”

“Cira.” She interrupted him, her voice low and aching. “I'm Cira.”

A hint of a smile touched Spencer's lips. “Cira. I'm Dr. Spencer and I'm going to do everything in my power here to help you, all right? But I'm going to need you to work with me. First, I want to get you moved before the next contraction starts. Then we'll get settled in and the real work will begin. All right? Do you think we can do that?”

What came next was something that Spencer would never, not in all his years, be able to forget. The forest was alive with the sounds of screams and grunts and low, coaxing words as the three of them fought to bring a baby into this world. And when it was done, when Spencer held that tiny little body wailing away in his arms, somehow it made the night just a little bit brighter. He cradled that tiny body against him and carefully moved up towards Cira's head so that he could give her a chance to see her son as the boy slowly calmed down. “Congratulations, Cira. It's a boy.”

The smile that lit up her face was so bright it was almost blinding. “Oh! Lui è bello. So beautiful.”

Cira tried to lift her hands, obviously intending on reaching out and holding him, but the strength was gone from her. She’d been weak before. Labor had drained the last of her energy from her. She’d used it all to bring this beautiful boy into the world. Her hand dropped back down to the cool earth beneath her. Spencer could see her breath shuddering out of her and he knew what was coming next. He’d seen too much death not to recognize it when it came.

There was nothing they could do for her. They knew it – and so did she. Her weak hand reached over to him and touched lightly to his fingers, pressing with what little strength she had. She caught hold of the hem of his sleeve and Spencer understood the silent message. Still cradling the child, he bent down low to her face. It took a few tries for her to get out the words that she wanted to say. It took a few tries for her to get the words out. Just, a name, softly breathed by Spencer's ear. When he pulled back, he nodded at her, letting her know that he understood. She smiled faintly and let her eyes drift shut. Her lips moved, no sound coming out, but Spencer could read them easily. “Protect him.”

The little bundle in Spencer's arms let out another plaintive cry.

Spencer lifted his eyes to find Melissa on the other side of Cira, her face wet with silent tears. The grief she felt was one that Spencer shared. But right in that moment there wasn’t time for it. “Melissa, I need you to go home. When you get there, call the number on this card,” He pulled a card out and handed it to her, pressing it into her hand while being careful not to transfer any of the blood from him to her. “Tell to use an anonymous tip to send help out here. But make sure my name is kept clear, do you understand? No one can know who I truly am.” Not if he wanted to play the part he needed to. “Go, Melissa. Now. Get help.”

As she girl ran away, Spencer looked down at the bundle in his arms and wondered what on earth he’d gotten himself into.

That wasn’t the first nor the last time that he wondered that over the next few days. From the instant that the police had shown up and taken the baby, Spencer should’ve gotten out of there. He’d done his part and made sure that the mother’s body was taken care of and the baby was safe until it was at the hospital. Once he spun a decent enough lie to explain why he was there – a walk in the dark, the sound of screams, running to help and finding this woman being attacked, and shooting her attacker before helping to deliver the child – he should’ve turned and run. There was nothing holding him there. Being around people wasn’t something that Spencer wanted. He’d only been here to help Melissa.

Yet, Spencer found himself going to the hospital that day, checking on the child. And he was there every day afterwards.

It was on his second day there that he ran into the doctor who was in charge of the child’s care. He came strolling out of the nursery as Spencer stood there watching the young boy sleeping peacefully.

“He sure is a cutie.” The doctor said, startling Spencer as he joined him at his side.

Spencer flashed a look over at the doctor beside him. The man wasn’t tall – the top of his head probably reached Spencer's nose. Blondish-brown hair was pulled back into a short ponytail at the base of his neck and Spencer found himself tilting his head, taking note of the golden streaks the light seemed to bring out in it. When the man tilted to look up at Spencer, it gave a better view of his face. The sharp jawline, the thin lips that were quirked up in something akin amusement, the light dusting of facial hair that gave him an almost rugged look. None of it compared to his eyes, though. They were like whiskey, warmed by a fire. That ridiculous thought had Spencer shaking his head to bring himself back on track. Times might be different now than they used to be but that didn’t mean that it was really all that safe to have those kinds of thoughts. Nor were they appropriate in front of a nursery.

The doctor’s smile grew into a smirk. “The silent type, huh?” Then he surprised Spencer by lifting a hand and holding it out to him. “I’m Tomas.”

Just barely did Spencer mange to recover enough to reach out and shake the man’s hand. “Spencer.”

“Ah!” Tomas’s eyes lit up. “So you’re the infamous doctor I’ve heard about. I assumed you were family with as often as you visit, but the doctor – that makes sense. Coming to check on your patient?”

Spencer turned back to look at the boy lying in his little bed. “Something like that.”

“He’s a good kid. Barely cries, that one, unlike some of the others.” Tomas turned as well so that he was side by side with Spencer, the two of them looking at the room full of sleeping infants. His voice dropped a little, turning softer, gentler. “It’s too bad, really.”

Those words had Spencer's attention snapping to him. “What’re you talking about?”

Tomas didn’t look away from the children. He gave a small, sad shake of his head. “His mother had no relatives left. What little she has is back in Italy, and I hear that they want nothing to do with a child born out of wedlock. Our young friend here will go into the system.” Again, Tomas shook his head. “I hate seeing it. Especially after everything I hear she went through to protect the little tyke. It’s just not fair.”

The hallway went quiet as the two looked in to where some of the babies were starting to stir. Spencer's eyes were locked on one baby in particular. That little head of black hair was moving and small hands were clasping as if reaching for something – something that wasn’t there.

“Protect him” Cira had bade him.

Spencer took in a breath that shook ever so slightly. Protect him.

“Excuse me.” Spencer said, never looking away from the glass. “My apologies, but there’s something I need to take care of.” He didn’t spare Tomas another look. Resolve filled him as he turned and marched away from the glass, purpose in every single step he took.

It was three days later Spencer was back at the hospital, only this time he was inside the nursery instead of outside of it. He was seated in a rocking chair while a nurse was bringing a bundle wrapped up in a blue blanket over to him. Spencer held his arms up and easily took the fussy child from her. This wasn't the first child that he'd held, nor would it be the last. He'd been around children plenty of times through the years. Had lived in homes with them. Yet, this was different. As he drew the child in and cradled him against his chest, Spencer knew that this was different.

“There we are.” The nurse said warmly, smiling down at the pair. “What a nice pair the two of you make, if you don't mind my saying. He's a sweet one, Doctor.”

One corner of Spencer's mouth curved up. “Indeed he is.” Eyes just exactly like his mother's blinked up at Spencer from that sweet little face. Oh, yes, this was very different.

This whole thing was insane. Spencer knew it and yet couldn’t bring himself to regret it. The words the doctor had said to him had rang uncomfortably in Spencer's mind. The idea of this little boy going into a home - a home where Spencer wouldn't be able to care for him, wouldn't be able to protect him as Cira had begged with her very last breaths - had ripped away at his insides. Protect him, she'd bade, and what else could Spencer do? He'd promised himself that he was done with humanity for a while. That he wasn't going to get close to anyone again after watching so many that he loved die. Yet here he was with this beautiful boy in his arms and the papers in his jacket that made him a father.

How long Spencer sat there he had no idea. He was lost in his own world, his own thoughts, until a voice interrupted it. “So I see the rumors are true.”

Spencer looked up to find the doctor standing nearby. The man was smiling at him and it seemed to reach all the way to his eyes, making them wrinkle at the edges in a way that was absurdly attractive.

Pushing away from the wall, Tomas strolled over to them. He had his hands stuffed in his pockets and Spencer noted that he was just as casually dressed as last time. Slacks, a dark red shirt, and an overcoat. He must not have been on shift. Visiting then, maybe, or finishing off his shift. Whatever it was, he'd decided to come in here and speak with Spencer, and Spencer couldn’t turn him away. It was this man who was the reason that Spencer was even here right now. He'd been so set on walking away before, sure that the hospital would be able to take care of the child, find him some family. Tomas had been the one to paint the truth to Spencer.

When Spencer had left the hospital, he'd contacted his lawyer and gathered as much information as possible. Sadly, once they found out that the boy was indeed alone, it didn't take much to get the adoption pushed through. Spencer's money helped with that. The fact that he was a doctor only seemed to help his case.

Though he was sure that Tomas wouldn't understand why he was saying it, Spencer still felt the need to look up at him and tell him “Thank you.”

As he'd expected, the doctor just waved him off. He came to a stop beside Spencer's chair and looked down at the boy who was starting to drift from all the rocking. “Have you picked out a name for the tyke yet? Anything has to be better than just calling him 'kiddo' or 'little guy'.”

Spencer looked down at the small infant in his arms and felt a soft smile curve his lips. “David.” Lifting the hand that wasn't holding him, he brushed his fingers lightly over the baby's head. “His mother wanted him to be named David. David Stephan Rossi.”

“You don’t want him to have your last name?”

“No.” Spencer shook his head. That wasn’t something that he would burden a child with. He wasn’t going to take over this little child’s life. He’d give him his own name, the name he should have had, and the legacy to go with it. He’d make sure that David always knew where he came from and the strength of the mother who had loved him so much she’d sacrificed everything for him.

For so long now Spencer had been hiding himself. He’d shut himself off from everything and everyone. Yet as he stared down at this tiny little boy below him, he felt the walls around his heart crack just a little.

It took a week for all the paperwork was processed for the adoption. Spencer was at the hospital every single day, spending as much time as they allowed with little David. Most of his free time was spent on the phone calling in favors to help him get a room set up for David at home.

Chapter Text

A second passed that felt like a lifetime. Spencer stared at the man who had been his son’s doctor – the man who was the whole reason that Spencer even had a son. He swore he saw the shock and recognition in those eyes. Yet the man recovered a whole lot faster than Spencer did. In fact, he recovered so quickly, pulling on a mask of polite puzzlement, that Spencer was left wondering for a moment if he’d even seen the recognition there. “I think you got the wrong guy, sir. My name’s Gabe.” The guy told him politely. He gestured towards his nametag with the hand that held the bag and, sure enough, it read Gabriel. Oddly enough, that name sort of seemed to suit him just a little better than Tomas.

Had he been wrong? Had the guy not recognized him? Spencer knew there were creatures out there, supernatural creatures who could look like humans and who had long lives. He was half tempted to murmur Christo just for safety’s sake. But maybe he was wrong. Maybe this guy was just a relative of the man that Spencer had met. It was possible. Relatives sometimes looked quite a lot like one another. And there were subtle differences from this guy to the last one. No facial hair, for one, though there was a hint of a five o’clock shadow. His hair was longer and a little more golden than Tomas’s had been. Could he be a different guy?

A sharp elbow from Derek yanked Spencer out of his thoughts. It also pointed out to him that he’d just been standing here staring while the guy was watching him with a raised eyebrow. Color flooded Spencer's cheeks and he ducked his head a little. “I’m sorry.” He apologized immediately. “I wasn’t trying to be rude. I just… you reminded me of someone I once knew.”

Gabriel’s grin grew and, Jesus, even if they weren’t the same people, this guy definitely had the same attractive smirk as Tomas had. “Must’ve been a good looking fella.” Gabriel teased him, wiggling his eyebrows lewdly.

Spencer's blush grew deeper. Beside him, Derek was chuckling, the little traitor.

“He was…” Pausing, Spencer cleared his throat and steadied his voice a little, trying not to let his embarrassment show through anymore. He needed to be serious. Needed to figure out a way to be sure if this was or wasn’t the same guy. “I didn’t know him well, but I like to think he was a good person. He did me a favor, even if he didn’t realize it. One that I never got to thank him for.”

There was just a brief flash in Gabriel’s eyes and that was all the answer Spencer needed. He hadn’t been wrong before. This was the same guy. Tomas – Gabriel. They were the same person. It wasn’t that hard a stretch to believe, especially considering that Spencer was still alive after all that time.

Gabriel’s eyes ran over Spencer in a considering sort of way and he opened his mouth as if to say something, hesitating briefly. His eyes locked on Spencer's again and one corner of his mouth quirked up. Apparently he’d come to a decision about whatever it was he wanted to say. “I’m sure he knows.” Gabriel said, still smiling. Then he lifted out the items he had and held them towards Spencer. “Maybe when you get done with whatever business brought you to town, you could swing by and tell me all about this guy I look so much like. Sounds like there’s quite a story there.”

That sounded perfect. Spencer knew what the offer really was here; this was a chance for them to catch up. Despite his embarrassment at the way Derek was grinning beside him, very obviously pleased and amused by what he saw as his friend getting ‘picked up’ in a store, Spencer still smiled and nodded. “I’d like that.” He took the bag and handed the tray of drinks to Derek. If he wanted to laugh, he could carry the item more likely to spill.

Even as he handed off the drinks to Derek, the phone in Spencer's pocket began to ring. He almost dropped the bag of treats in his effort to quickly get to his phone. The only people calling that were his coworkers and with them being on a case, it couldn’t be good.

Gabriel’s quick hands managed to save Spencer's bag from falling, the man almost darting across the counter to catch it. Spencer flashed him a grateful smile as he answered his phone “Dr. Reid.”

He barely paid any attention to Derek thanking Gabriel behind him or his friend grabbing the bag. All of Spencer's focus was on the phone as he listened to Aaron’s voice tell him “He took another girl.”

“When?” Any playfulness with the clerk was gone as Spencer and Derek both snapped into agent mode. They instinctively stepped to the side, away from the crowd, neither one caring about the eyes that were on them. Derek was focused right on Spencer, attempting to listen to his half of the conversation.

“Report came in just ten minutes ago. Seventeen year old Katie Millborn. Her parents thought she was going to a friend’s last night, but the friend says she never made it home. The last place anyone saw her was at the equestrian center downtown. Is Morgan with you?”

“He is.”

“I want the two of you to head down there and talk to the center, find out if she was there, when she left, and if she left with anyone. As soon as you’re done there report back to the PD. We’re already over twelve hours into this – let’s not waste any more time.”

Even as Spencer was closing his phone, he was looking up to Derek. “We’ve got another missing girl. Katie went to the equestrian center downtown and was supposed to go to her friend’s house afterwards but never made it. Hotch wants us to go down there and find out what we can.”

“Got it. Let’s go, kid.”

The two took off from the store without a backwards glance for the man standing at the counter watching after them as they left. They had a girl to rescue and a case to solve. The rest of it was going to have to wait.

Two days. That was how long it took for them to catch their Unsub. Two long, horrifying days that took every ounce of energy that they all had and drained it out of them. Spencer stood in his motel room once the case was done and stared down at his go bag feeling more drained than he had in a long time. Even though he knew better, he couldn’t help but think of everything they’d done wrong, everything they could’ve done better. Maybe if they’d done this… maybe if they’d looked there… maybe if they’d noticed this sooner… Maybe Katie would still be alive.

The image of the girl lying on the ground where the Unsub had dumped her was one that would stick with Spencer for a long time. Seeing these kinds of things never got any easier. The images eventually got buried with enough time, the edges of the memories dulling ever so slightly, but his eidetic memory meant that they could be yanked back up if he thought about it, or with the right trigger.

Deliberately not closing his eyes, not wanting to see the images there, Spencer took a deep breath and blew it back out. As sad as it was that they hadn’t been fast enough for Katie, they had to console themselves with the fact that they’d caught their Unsub. Ernie Brown was in a jail cell right now and there was enough evidence that he would spend the rest of his life inside a cell. It wasn’t perfect, but it was better than it could have been. They’d caught him and Spencer had to focus on that.

Pushing those thoughts out of his head only left room for other thoughts to slip in. A different man, a different face, this one a whole lot more pleasant to think about.

A glance at his watch showed that it wasn’t that late. Coming close to five in the evening. Aaron had told them to be at the jet by six, giving them all plenty of time to shower and change and pack. It would also give Spencer plenty of time to hurry down to that little coffee shop and try to catch Gabriel – if he were still there, that is. Just because the place said it closed at five didn’t mean that Gabriel was going to be there until five.

Did he really want to do this? Go down and meet with someone who was most definitely something supernatural?  One who had recognized Spencer just as much as Spencer had recognized him. I have to go, Spencer thought to himself. He knows who I am. He knows I shouldn’t be alive, yet I am. I have to find out how much he knows and who exactly he is. He didn’t seem like trouble; the last time Spencer had met him, he’d been a doctor at a hospital, and this time he was working at a coffee shop. Yet that didn’t mean that he couldn’t be trouble. Those could just be covers.

There were so many questions and so many things that didn’t make sense. The only way he was going to get any of it figured out was to actually go down there and talk to him.

Spencer squared his shoulders and straightened himself up. He needed to do this. Before he could change his mind, he grabbed his messenger bag and his cell phone and turned to leave the room.

The walk down to the coffee shop didn’t take that long. Luckily, this time Spencer didn’t run into any of his team on his way out, so he was free to make his way down there alone. By the time he arrived, it was five to five and the whole place looked empty. The only two bodies Spencer saw as he opened the door was the woman who had taken their order the other day – and Gabriel. The woman was wiping down tables and Gabriel was over by the cash register. The sound of the bell had them both looking up. “I’m sorry, but we’re closing.” The woman said immediately, a tired smile on her face.

Spencer didn’t get a chance to answer. Gabriel’s mouth slowly curved up into a smirk and he answered for him, his eyes locked right on Spencer the whole time. “It’s fine, Mindy. He’s here for me.”

Though he wasn’t sure, it sounded to Spencer like Mindy whispered “Lucky devil” as she bent to finish up her last table. Spencer's cheeks warmed under his blush and the low chuckle from Gabriel only made it worse.

The man – being, creature? – nodded towards the table right by his. “Why don’t you take a seat while I finish up, handsome? Won’t take but a minute.” That said, he turned his smile towards Mindy, who was straightening up from her table. “Go on an head out, Minds. I got this. Stretch an I are gonna talk for a bit while I wrap things up here.”

“You sure, Gabe? I don’t mind waiting a bit.” She sounded like she meant it, too, though Spencer could see exhaustion in every line of her body.

Gabriel chuckled and waved a hand at her. “Get outta here. Go home to that baby of yours – I’m sure he an the hubby are missing you. I got this.”

She didn’t take any more persuading than that. Not even two minutes later and she was darting out the door with a “See you tomorrow, Gabe!” and a quick wave for Spencer.

For his part, Spencer sat at the table that Gabriel had gestured him to, and he waited patiently while the other man finished up what he was doing and disappeared into the back room. Only a minute later he came out with two steaming mugs in his hands. “You looked like a guy who appreciates a good, sweet cup of coffee.” Gabriel said, bringing the cups over to the table and setting them down. To Spencer's surprise, the one that was pushed in front of him smelled exactly like the coffee he’d ordered here the other day. How on earth had Gabriel remembered that?

When Gabriel pulled off his apron and tossed it on the counter, Spencer couldn’t help letting his eyes drift over the man’s form. It was pretty close to what he remembered seeing before. Only, instead of slacks and a nice shirt, or that jacket he’d had, this time Gabriel was dressed in jeans that hugged him rather nicely and a t-shirt that said Stud at the top and had a picture of a muffin underneath. The body underneath seemed the same, however.

Curling his hands around the mug given to him, Spencer remembered enough manners to at least say “Thank you” as Gabriel sat down.

That got him another quick smile. “No problem, kid.” The way that Gabriel sat in his chair was more of a slouch, a pose that Spencer guessed was supposed to give off a relaxed air. All in all it was pretty good. Spencer might’ve believed it if he hadn’t been able to see Gabriel’s eyes. They weren’t relaxed – they were sharp and focused on him. “Y’ know, I gotta say, I’m a little surprised to see you. Was wondering if you’d get up the courage to come back.”

The blunt words inspired an equally blunt response. “I almost didn’t.”

With one hand Gabriel picked up his mug and brought it up to his mouth so he could take a sip. “What changed your mind?”

“How else am I going to get answers?”

That made Gabriel laugh outright. “Who said I’m going to give them to you?”

So that’s how this conversation was going to go. Spencer mentally nodded to himself. He’d done interviews like this. “Why are you here?” He countered. Once he knew what Gabriel wanted he’d better be able to bargain.

“Maybe I’m curious too.” Gabriel tilted his head and raised his eyebrows, gaze raking over Spencer. “You intrigue me, kiddo, I gotta admit. Everything about you screams human, but, well, no human ages that well. Usually I can tell what something is. You, though? You puzzle me.” Gabriel shrugged and smirked at him. “That doesn’t happen all that often.”

“Yes, well, you’re not the first to say that.” Nor would he be the lat. Spencer had yet to come across anyone who understood why he was the way he was or how to stop it. The curse that had started all of this had been inflicted on his very soul and had had a very long time to get firmly cemented there.

“You’re only making me more curious here.” With his mug cradled between two hands now, Gabriel leaned forward, his arms coming to rest on the table. His mouth was twisted up into a devilish smirk that made an already attractive face even more so. “C’mon, handsome. You show me yours I’ll show you mine.”

Those words brought back the blush that Spencer had been trying hard to keep away.

Gabriel saw it and let out a low, husky laugh. “Oh, man. Your friend was right. You are way too easy there, bucko.”

That only made his blush worse. “Shut up.” Spencer responded instinctively. It was the same kind of response he would’ve given to Derek. Damn this man for being so easily able to get underneath his skin! Spencer had no idea who or what he truly was and yet he was letting the being get to him. Get yourself under control!

“Don’t worry about it. I think it’s cute.” Gabriel said, winking at him. “You’re just getting more and more interesting by the minute. You blush like a schoolgirl at the first sign of flirting. It doesn’t match up with the same guy who I know is a lot older than he looks, who is or at least was a doctor, and who also happens to apparently be a part of the FBI. BAU, if I heard right, working that serial case.” At that, Gabriel paused to lift his cup in a ‘cheers’ gesture. “Nice job on that, by the way. Bout time someone locked that prick away. I was hoping you guys would figure out it was him.”

Wait a second. He… what? Spencer's breath caught in his throat and his body went completely still. Everything else, the whole reason that he’d come here, all of that fell away for the moment. He knew his eyes had probably gone wide and he could feel his mouth hanging open ever so slightly. The look on his face had Gabriel going still and his smirk vanishing. Spencer just stared at him and tried to put his thoughts into words. In the end, only one thing came out “You knew who it was?”

Gabriel looked properly wary of that question. His eyebrows drew down and made lines in his forehead. “Yes?”

“And you sat here and did nothing?”

Immediately the wariness on Gabriel’s face grew, as did something else – defensiveness. “What, you want me to do your job for you? Cops were on the case and you guys were here. Besides, it’s not like I could just waltz into the police station and tell them I know who did it. Humans gotta have proof to lock the guy away.”

He couldn’t – Spencer couldn’t find words. He could find no words to say to that. All he could think was Gabriel knew. He’d known who was killing those people. Known, and done nothing. Had he just gotten up each day and come here to work, knowing that a killer was out there? Knowing women were in danger? How did he justify doing nothing? The idea of that was so foreign to Spencer. He couldn’t process it. Couldn’t picture sitting back and doing nothing.

Here he’d been, he and his team, fighting their damndest to try and stop this bastard, to save a life, and Gabriel had known the whole time and done nothing.

Spencer closed his eyes and drew in a shaky breath. When he opened his eyes once more, he knew they’d be hard with the temper he was working so hard to keep in check.

“Katie Millborn.”

“What?” Gabriel asked, looking confused. His eyebrows furrowed down and it made his nose wrinkle a little.

“Katie Millborn.” Spencer repeated. His voice was low, yet there was a power to it that held more of an impact than if he’d been shouting. Eyes hot, he looked up and met Gabriel’s gaze, not feeling the least bit shy for the first time since they’d sat down. “Kate was seventeen years old. She wasn’t the best of kids, got into a bit of trouble here and there. Depressed, definitely, with an anxiety disorder. She was abused as a child until removed from her parents care when she was eight. After that, she went through seven different foster homes, four of which she was removed from because of allegations of physical and/or sexual abuse. But the last home, the Sages, she was happy there. Everything in her room showed that she was starting to settle in. To believe that maybe, just maybe, this time things would be okay.”

Gabriel looked like he wanted to say something. His mouth opened, something in his eyes turning a bit defensive, a bit pleading, but Spencer didn’t want to hear it. He hurried on before the being across from him could speak.

“She was working towards getting her state diploma, since all the traveling and troubles had put her too far behind in high school to get her regular diploma. She was taking extra classes, most likely studying at night, too. Her foster parents were trying to help her come out of her shell. They’d started her in an equestrian program and Katie had fallen in love with the horses. They said she was making noises about maybe studying to become a veterinarian.”

Turning, Spencer pulled up his messenger bag, reaching into the files that he still carried in there. It took only a moment to find what he wanted. Without remorse he pulled out the pictures of Katie and slapped them down onto the table.

“Two nights ago, our Unsub grabbed her when she was walking home.” Spencer flattened his hand against the edge of the picture but made sure that he didn’t block the image at all. He kept his eyes on Gabriel. There was no need to look down. What was there was burned into his memory. “The Unsub caught her in a blitz attack, knocking her out with a crowbar. Then he took her back to his place and locked her in the basement where he proceeded to hold her for the next twenty four hours. While he had her, he raped her repeatedly and tortured her with the same hunting knife he used on all his victims. She would’ve been awake for every single moment of it. He needed them to be awake – needed to see the pain he caused them. Then he physically beat her with a belt until she died. My team found him forty seven minutes later. Forty seven minutes. If we’d been just a little earlier, even just an hour, she’d still be alive. And you knew the entire time who our Unsub was.”

Temper like Spencer hadn’t felt in a long time was pouring through him. His hands, his whole body, was shaking as he pushed up to his feet. Gabriel didn’t rise. His head was bowed, his eyes presumably fixed on the picture Spencer left lying there. It was a far cry from the confident and teasing man of only moments before. Spencer had broken through that mask. But he wasn’t going to stick around and find out what was lying underneath.

Spencer stared at that golden hair and shook his head. His earlier feelings were gone. There was no room for anything underneath the pain and the anger. Instead of finally making him shout, it only succeeded in making his voice quieter. “I don’t know who or what you really are, but I know one thing. You’re not the person I thought you were.”

“You have no idea who I am.” Gabriel whispered.

“You’re right.” Spencer agreed. “I don’t. You helped me before, though we didn’t even know one another. I assumed that you were a good man.” With a shaky hand Spencer gathered up his bag and pulled the strap up over his head to rest on his shoulder. He paused one last time, looking at that still bowed head, and he shook his own head. “I guess I was wrong.”

Without another word he turned around and walked away.

Chapter Text

Spencer tried his hardest not to think of Gabriel over the next few days. It was hard – his brain kept drifting back to the man, being, whenever he let his guard down. There had just… there’d been something about him. Something that had drawn Spencer in. Plus, none of Spencer's questions had been answered. He still had no idea what exactly Gabriel was, or what it meant to run into him again, or if he’d been some kind of danger. Not that Spencer thought Gabriel really was a danger, per se. In his more charitable moments Spencer thought that the being might actually be someone good. But at the same time, every time Spencer thought about Gabriel he also ended up thinking about their talk at the end and he felt anger all over again. How could anyone have the kind of power that this Gabriel obviously did and not help? How could he have sat there while those kinds of things were happening around him and not stop it? That was a mentality that Spencer couldn’t understand.

Despite his best efforts to not think about it, it obviously wasn’t working, and the people around Spencer were starting to notice it.

Derek was the one to bring it up to him. He cornered Spencer at lunchtime almost a week after they’d gotten back from the case.

The bag that was dropped on Spencer's desk was enough to startle him out of the thoughts he’d lost himself in. When he looked up, the genius found a paper bag on his desk that smelled like Chinese food. Derek was pulling up a chair right beside Spencer's desk and dropping down into it. “Time to break away from the paperwork, kid. It’s lunch, and someone like you can’t afford to skip meals.”

It was a comment that Spencer had heard plenty of times over the years. Derek seemed obsessively worried about Spencer's weight. He wasn’t the first person in Spencer's life to be like that. Yet it brought the ghost of a smile to Spencer's lips. “Someone like me?”

“You look like a strong wind could pick you up and blow you away.” Derek flashed him a grin. Then he reached into the bag and pulled out two containers, setting one down in front of Spencer and the other in front of himself. A plastic fork was brought out next. Derek laughed when Spencer flushed a little. They were never going to let him live down his inability to use chopsticks.

Spencer picked up the fork and held it in one hand while he opened up the box with the other. The smell of fried rice and sweet and sour chicken wafted up to him and made his mouth water. Derek was one of Spencer's best friends and he knew the genius better than almost anyone here, with the exception of Dave. He knew the things to get to entice Spencer into actually eating and not just picking at his food. That didn’t mean that Spencer wasn’t going to put in a token protest, though. “You know, I do know how to take care of myself, Morgan. I’ve been doing it for years.”

“If I didn’t see you skipping meals at work, I might actually believe that.” Derek shot back.

That had Spencer making a low humming noise in his throat that could be taken as agreement or not. He couldn’t exactly argue that when it was true. Food was always the first thing that Spence forgot when he got caught up in other things. Thinking too much, working a case, caught up in memories, studying – anything that required his brain being engaged, pretty much, meant that other things got forgotten. Food was almost always the first of those things to be forgotten.

The way that Derek grinned at him said that he knew he’d won that round. Spencer tried not to roll his eyes and smothered his own smile.

Derek was at least kind enough to wait for the both of them to get their food open and for Spencer to have his first bite before he started to speak. One thing that Spencer found himself pretty grateful for with having Derek as a friend was that the man had a tendency to be rather straightforward and honest with his friends when he was worried about them. Instead of the profiling tricks or word games they’d all learned in this job, Derek would simply ask for what he wanted to know. His blunt honesty was kind of refreshing after everything the team dealt with on the average day.

Today was no different. Derek sat back in his chair, his container of food held in front of him, and he fixed his eyes right on Spencer. “So, now that I at least got you eating something, you wanna tell me what’s going on in that big head of yours? Something’s been eating at you for days now, Reid. Ever since that last case.”

“It was a pretty rough case.” Spencer commented, looking down and picking at his own food. He put a bite on his fork and ate it, mostly because he knew Derek would nag at him if he didn’t.

They both knew that Spencer's remark was true, just as they knew it wasn’t the thing that was bugging him.

Derek didn't let him hide behind that excuse, either. “It was,” He agreed, watching Spencer carefully. “But that's not what's bugging you. C'mon, Reid. I'm getting worried about you. Talk to me here – what's going on?”

The concern that was so easy to hear in Derek's voice was enough to have Spencer wanting to wince. He hadn't meant to worry his friend this badly. Hadn’t even really realized that his own worries were so evident. He'd known that David had realized something was wrong. There was no one on the planet that seemed to read him better than that boy did. But Spencer had thought for sure that he'd been hiding it a bit better from the others. He should've known, though. You can't hide everything, especially not from profilers who are trained to see through the masks that most people put up.

Sighing, Spencer poked his fork at his food while he finished up the bite in his mouth. He wasn't sure what to tell Derek here. Wasn't sure what he could say. It wasn't like he could tell Derek that he'd run into someone that he'd met over fifty years ago and that he wasn't quite sure what kind of creature the man was, or if he was really a man at all, and that, oh yeah, he'd pissed Spencer off because he could've solved their case for them - likely without them ever having had to come to town. Yeah, telling all that to Derek would go over just great.

But he couldn't sit here and give the man nothing, either. Not when Derek was so worried about him. Giving him nothing would only make him worry more. That was the last thing that Spencer wanted to do.

“I've just...” Spencer paused, scooting a piece of chicken aside so that he could poke at his rice. He sighed again. “I've had a lot on my mind lately. I, I ran into someone I used to know a long time ago. Someone I, um, I thought was nice. A good person, you know?” Spencer flashed a look up at Derek and found that he had his friend's full attention. When Derek nodded to know that he did know, that he understood what Spencer was saying, the genius dropped his gaze back down and shrugged one shoulder, trying to hide just how bothered by all this he was. “I found out a few things that, um, that kind of prove that wrong.”

“This person – did they do something to you?”

Immediately Spencer's head shot up. “Oh, no. No, Morgan, I'm fine.” He should've figured that would be Derek's first worry.

The other man nodded his head. Derek stirred at his own food as his expression turned a bit thoughtful. “So this person, they did something that has you thinking that maybe they're not as good as you thought they were?”

“Yeah.” Spencer nodded. He leaned back a little, his food pretty much forgotten in his hand. “I guess it kind of made me realize I never really knew them at all.”

“Do you know the whole story, or did you leave before you could find it out?”

That had Spencer looking up, his eyebrows furrowing down and mouth already opening on a protest, surprise and hurt mingling together. He cut it off when he found Derek looking at him almost gently and smiling. “What?” Derek said. “I know you, Reid. I know you're usually a great listener. But you've got this tendency to sort of shut people out when you get upset with them. Like your brain just kind of goes into protective mode. Someone hurts you and you immediately start planning a retreat. And that can be good, sometimes. But sometimes it means you miss things.” Lifting his chopsticks, Derek used them to gesture at Spencer as if to emphasize his point. “Not everything is always as it seems, kid. You know that. You’ve got to give a person a chance to explain their side of the story before you go jumping to conclusions. You never know what their reasons are.”

Spencer sat there and stared at his friend as Derek calmly went back to eating his food. Despite the fact that Spencer had worked with Derek for quite a few years now and had become awfully close with him, often spending time hanging out away from work, there were still some times that the man surprised him. Derek had this way of seeing through the crap that Spencer put up sometimes and right down to the heart of him. It was amazing, especially considering how much he didn't know. To be able to still look at Spencer and read his actions so well was a rather amazing thing.

Looking up to find that Spencer was still staring, Derek flashed him a grin and once more gestured with his chopsticks. “Eat up, kid. You're gonna finish that before I leave.”

Just like that the silence between them broke. Spencer found himself smiling right back, feeling quite a bit lighter than he had before. It was a whole lot easier to pick up his fork and start eating once again.

The rest of their lunch passed easily as the two men just talked and caught up with one another.

They were just starting to close up their food when Aaron came walking out of his office and gestured to his team. It was enough to get their attention. Emily and JJ both stopped in the acts of taking their coats off to look up at their Unit Chief. “I need you all in the conference room.” Aaron told them simply. Then he turned and moved back into his office, shutting the door once more. He'd been in there like that for most of lunch - and so had Dave - but Spencer had assumed the two were just sharing their lunch time. He hadn't really thought that anything was going on. Now, he wasn't quite so sure.

“This doesn't look good.” Derek murmured as he pushed himself up out of the chair.

JJ came up behind him, her coat already at her desk and little lines of worry settling into her forehead. “You guys got any idea what's going on?”

“Doesn’t seem like a case.” Emily chimed in.

Sneaking a glance up at Aaron's office door and the closed blinds over the window, Spencer shook his head. “I don't know. I guess we'll have to find out in a moment, won't we?”

Together they made their way up to the conference room. None of them sat down; there was something that felt a little off and kept them all on their feet. Spencer stood near the windows with his hands in his pockets, watching half outside and half in the room. Derek had taken up a stance not too far from him, while Emily was helping herself to some of the coffee items on the little table by the wall.

They didn't have long to wait. Spencer heard the sound of a door opening and more than one pair of footsteps. He turned himself, ready to find out what was going on.

What he found was nothing at all like what he'd prepared himself for.

There was no case file in Aaron's hand, no paperwork that might mean trouble. There was no Erin Strauss coming in here with them to stir things up. Just Aaron, Dave – and Gabriel.

For a second Spencer couldn’t believe his eyes. They had to be tricking him. There was no way that Gabriel – Gabriel – was actually here. Yet as Spencer ran his eyes over him, there was absolutely no doubt as to who this was. He looked a whole lot more like the Tomas in Spencer's memories than the Gabriel he’d seen more recently, though. Instead of the goofy shirt and jeans he’d been in before, this version of Gabriel was dressed in dark jeans that fit him in a wonderful way Spencer absolutely refused to think about, a green button up shirt, and a leather jacket that managed to let him keep his professional look while still giving him this edge of something else that made Spencer's heart skip a beat.

Seeing Gabriel come strolling in between Aaron and Dave like it was nothing, like it was completely normal for him to be there, had Spencer going completely still in shock. He knew his eyes were wide and he most likely had a stunned look on his face. It took a lot of effort to try and get that under control. What the hell was he doing here?

Spencer didn’t have to wait long for an answer. Aaron gestured Gabriel forward until he stood side by side with both Aaron and Dave, and then Aaron turned to face his team again. “Everyone, I'd like you to meet our new temporary transfer. This is SSA Gabriel Engel, on loan to us for a bit of training from Crimes Against Children. He’s going to be spending the next little while with us, so I’d like it if you’d all make him feel at home.”

With every word Spencer found himself more and more stunned. Gabriel – Gabriel Engel? Engel? Spencer knew for a fact that there hadn’t been a Gabriel Engel in the Crimes Against Children unit. He’d done some consultation work for them recently and he knew what their teams looked like. Never once had he seen a Gabriel Engel anywhere on the list. This transfer was probably just as fake as his name. But that name choice combined with the area he’d picked to ‘transfer’ from was rather telling.

Gabriel flashed them all a rather charming smile. He stepped away from the other two profilers and held his hands out a little to each side in an open way that was made to make him seem less threatening. “I’m really looking forward to work with all of you. I’ve had my basic profiling training, but my Unit Chief thought it might do me some good to get some in-the-field experience.” Again, that smile. Way too charming for his own good.

It was Dave who spoke next, patting a hand on Gabriel’s shoulder while he moved to stand more at his side again. “I’m sure it’ll be great having you here, Gabriel.”

“That seems like quite a change.” Emily said, cradling her coffee in her hands as she moved forward. “Going from working with children to working serial murders.”

Gabriel’s grin grew and he slipped his hands down into his pockets, rocking back on his heels just a bit. “Yep! We’re hoping it’ll provide us with a lot more insight into our bad guys when I go back. Maybe help us catch these bastards a little bit faster. Plus, well,” He paused for a second and then shrugged. “My department, it’s not hard to get burnt out kinda quickly. It’s been a while since I took a break, so when the boss made the offer, I thought, why not.”

“Well I doubt we'll be all that much of a break, but it'll be different.” Derek said, smiling and moving forward. He held his hand out towards Gabriel. “Derek Morgan. Welcome to the team.”

As soon as Derek made his introduction, it broke the ice enough that Emily and JJ both offered their names as well, their smiles coming a little bit easier. Gabriel was polite with all of them, saying his hello in return and shaking their hands, but as soon as they were done he was turning Spencer's way and it took everything Spencer had not to squirm underneath those sharp eyes. He wanted to snap at Gabriel, to demand what the hell he was doing here with Spencer's team, in Spencer's *life*. There was a huge part of Spencer that wanted to make damn sure this supernatural creature wasn't planning on doing anything to the little family that Spencer had built here. But he'd been around long enough to know how to play a part when necessary. Right now he needed to keep calm and in control so as not to blow his cover.

Derek turned with Gabriel, following his gaze, and he smiled when he saw Spencer. “Quit hiding over there, Reid.” He teased him. Turning back to Gabriel, Derek let his grin grow a little more teasing. “Don't mind him. Reid's just a bit shy around new people.”

“I can speak perfectly fine for myself, Morgan.” Spencer said immediately. It only made the other chuckle at him. Even Aaron's lips twitched slightly. He always was more amused than he let on when they all played around. Ignoring them all, Spencer gathered himself together and prepared to play the part he knew he had to. He pulled a hand out of his pocket and gave Gabriel a small wave, trying hard to make sure that none of his suspicion or anger was showing in his body language. “It's nice to meet you, Agent Engel. I look forward to being able to work with you.”

“This is Dr. Spencer Reid.” Aaron said, taking over the introduction that Spencer hadn't. “He's our expert in most everything.”

There was barely suppressed amusement in Gabriel's eyes as they ran over Spencer. “Doctor, hm?” He met Spencer's eyes again and tilted his head a little, one half of his mouth quirking upwards. “I look forward to working with you too, Doc.”

Either oblivious to the tension between the two, or ignoring it, Aaron looked around the room at his team. “I know we've all got work to do, but I was hoping one of you might be able to show Agent Engel around and get him familiarized with our offices. I'd like him to have a basic understanding of the place and how it works before we end up getting called out.”

To the surprise of the room, Spencer was the first one to speak up. “I will.”

Aaron's eyebrows went up only momentarily in his surprise. Then his expression smoothed back out. He looked right at Spencer, his question obvious in his eyes. They all knew just how little Spencer tended to like new people and how shy he could be. He wasn't the type to volunteer himself for something or to put himself out there in a way that would make him have to deal with new people, especially alone. For him to volunteer was quite a bit out of character for him. Spencer knew that - he just hoped that they'd pass it off as him trying to adjust to a new teammate, or something like that. He didn't want them realizing just how badly he wanted to talk to Gabriel on his own.

“All right.” Aaron finally said. He turned back to Gabriel and there was nothing left on Aaron’s face to show the concern that had just been in his eyes. “I'll leave you in Reid's hands. He'll give you a tour of the building and get you familiarized with things. By the time you get back, we'll have a desk ready for you in the bullpen.”

Gabriel smiled and held his hand out to Aaron, who didn't hesitate to shake it. “Thanks again, Agent Hotchner. I appreciate your cooperation and consideration in all of this.”

Spencer waited impatiently as everyone said their goodbyes and reiterated their welcomes to their newest member. They were all open and accepting about this, though Spencer knew they’d be whispering about it the minute that they were away from Gabriel, trying to figure out what was going on here and was there something more in the mix they needed to worry about. For now, however, they were simply polite, offering him smiles and handshakes before they headed out of the room. Dave was the last to go. He snuck a quick look Spencer's way, concern evident in the slight downward draw of his eyebrows and the bit of a wrinkle over the bridge of his nose. The reassuring smile Spencer gave him didn’t seem to help at all.

Eventually, the last of the agents left, and it was just Spencer and Gabriel standing there, staring at one another.

Gabriel broke first. His lips curved into a smile and he rocked back on his heels again before rolling forward a bit on the balls of his feet. “Hey there, kiddo.”

Those three words had Spencer's calm demeanor cracking and some of his temper pushing to the surface. All the worries and fears that he’d been holding on to from the minute he saw Gabriel – what was he doing here, why was he with the team, what was he planning, was the team in danger? – all came raring to the front and they had Spencer's body going tense while his voice hardened in a way that would’ve absolutely stunned his teammates. “What are you doing here?”

The furious tone to Spencer's words was enough to wipe the smile right off of Gabriel’s face. “Woah, woah.” He held his hands up in the universal gesture for peace. “Calm down there, Cujo. I mean no harm.”

Mean no harm? Spencer had to resist the urge to snort at that. “Somehow I find myself not quite believing that, Agent.” The sarcasm he laid over the last word was heavy enough to make Gabriel flinch ever so slightly. Keeping his hands in his pockets to resist the urge to reach for a weapon of some kind, Spencer planted his feet and held his ground. “So why don’t you explain to me why exactly you’re here. And, for that matter, why on earth Morgan didn’t recognize you. He had a pretty clear look at you the last time we met and remembering faces is an important part of our job.”

“Your friend didn’t remember me because I didn’t want him to.” Gabriel answered easily, like this was no big deal and probably should’ve been obvious. He arched one eyebrow at Spencer but kept any mockery out of his tone. “As soon as you recognized me, I made sure that your friend wouldn’t be able to recognize my face. It’s easy to make sure that someone sees something else when they look at you.”

For the moment Spencer chose to gloss over the ethics of that in lieu of getting more answers. “None of that explains why you’re here.”

“You intrigue me, kiddo.” Gabriel moved forward to join him, putting them both a bit closer to the outside window while keeping them nicely angled away from the inside windows where the others were no doubt peeking up at them. The whole time, those eyes never once left Spencer. “You’re like, a puzzle. One I don’t even know all the pieces to yet. If I want to be able to put it all together someday I’ve got to learn what those pieces are.”

“This is quite a drastic change in your life simply for the sake of trying to solve a puzzle.” Spencer pointed out. Still, there wasn’t as much venom in his words as there had been before. As he looked into the amber eyes staring at him, Spencer couldn’t help but remember Derek’s earlier words. ‘You’ve got to give a person a chance to explain their side of the story before you go jumping to conclusions. You never know what their reasons are.’ His friend was right, too. Spencer had no idea about Gabriel’s side of the story. Maybe… maybe he had a good reason for all this. Maybe he had very valid reasons as to why he hadn’t helped out. Spencer hadn’t exactly given him the chance to explain last time. He remembered Gabriel’s quiet whisper – You have no idea who I am – and he knew that Gabriel was right as well. Spencer had no idea who he was. And yet, he’d judged him anyways.

Realizing it made a sort of sick feeling build down low in Spencer's stomach that he absolutely hated – guilt. He chewed on the inside of his lip for a moment as he watched Gabriel, watched the carefully shuttered look on his face. It only took Spencer a second to make his decision. He made sure that there was no anger or accusation in his voice as he calmly asked “If you knew who the Unsub was, why didn’t you help out on our case?”

Gabriel seemed surprised by Spencer's relaxed tone and the jump from one topic to the next. It had his eyebrows going up briefly before they came down again and his eyes narrowed as if he were trying to read more on Spencer's face. Whatever he found there had him relaxing only a little. “Honestly?” Lifting a hand, Gabriel tucked a bit of hair behind his ear, even though he didn’t really look like he needed to. “I was going to.” Gabriel said, huffing out a breath. “I was gonna take care of it myself, the same way I’ve taken care of plenty of jackasses over the years. But there were a few folks in town that would’ve recognized my particular brand of justice.”

“I take it they wouldn’t have been all that happy to see you?”

That earned him a snort. “Understatement.” Gabriel said dryly. He dropped his gaze down for a moment there was an air about him of someone gathering up the courage to speak their mind. Spencer was drawn in despite himself. Everything else – their location, the potential of the team looking on – all of that fell away. Whatever was coming next had the air of something important.

Finally, Gabriel spoke. “I haven’t always been the nicest person.” There was no sign of humor on his face as he turned it up towards Spencer once more. None of that spark or the mischievousness that Spencer had seen last time. If anything, his expression was, guarded. Just a bit hesitant. It had Spencer leaning forward a little to listen to what he had to say next. “I’ve done some things in my life I’m not proud of. I’ve… run away. A lot. I pretty much avoided trouble if at all possible, or I was the one causing it. But then something happened that, well, kind of threw all that out the window. I’ve just kind of been drifting since then. Until I ran into you.” Looking up, Gabriel smiled in a sheepish sort of way. “You could say you were a bit of a wakeup call. And I didn’t really like what I saw.”

For a moment Spencer just stared at him. That hadn’t at all been the kind of speech that he’d been expecting. What he’d thought Gabriel would say, he wasn’t sure. But it hadn’t been this. There was an openness to Gabriel’s face and a worry in his body language that made his words that much more believable.

“You’re startlingly honest.” Spencer said finally. “Either that or you’re an exceptional liar.”

Gabriel flashed a smile. “Both. I’ve lied about practically everything for a really, really long time now, kiddo. Longer than you’ve probably been alive.”

That made Spencer want to laugh. If only Gabriel had any idea what he was talking about. Just barely did Spencer mange to keep the disbelieving sound locked inside.

If Gabriel noticed, he ignored it. He just continued to talk in that same open, candid way. “All it got me last time around was a load of trouble. Somehow, I doubt it’d do me much better this time. I’ve got a second chance and I get the feeling I shouldn’t waste it, but I didn’t know what to do with it.”

“And now you do?”

“Some of what you said to me last time stuck with me. Maybe it’s time I learned what real justice is, not my own brand of it.” A little bit of that seriousness melted away and a hint of the person Spencer had seen before peeked through. “Who better to teach me than the guy who wasn’t the least bit afraid to call me out on it?”

There was absolutely no way Spencer was going to blush under that appreciative look. He cleared his throat and kept his voice as normal as possible. “That’s it? That’s why you’re here?”

He almost lost his battle with his blush when Gabriel winked at him. “Well, it doesn’t hurt that you’re pretty damn easy on the eyes, kiddo. Besides, like I said – you’re a puzzle. I get the feeling there’s a lot I don’t know about you, Doctor. I like the idea of finding out, though.” Then, in one of those mood changes that kept throwing Spencer so much, the being’s face turned a bit serious once more “I know you’ve wondered what I am. I’ve been a lot of things. But before all of it…” Gabriel looked like he was trying to draw himself together; gather the strength to say what came next. When he finally did, Spencer could understand why. “I was the Archangel of Justice. It’s been so long, I’m not sure I know how to be him anymore. But I get the feeling that being here might help me learn how.” He stopped and stared at Spencer, the look on his face shifting into one of disbelief. “And you don’t look the least bit surprised to find that out.”

Spencer shrugged one shoulder in an almost negligent manner. “You’re not exactly subtle. I mean, I knew you were something supernatural. I had absolutely no doubts about that. But there were quite a few things that gave you away. Your speech, your mannerisms. The head tilt that all angels seem to do without even realizing they're doing it. Not to mention that you chose a name that seems specifically designed to give you away. I mean, Gabriel Engel? The fact that you chose to keep your actual first name is bad enough, but the last name you chose only further serves to give you away.”

“Not many people know the meaning of names right off the top of their head.” Gabriel said, a slow smile building on his lips.

“Engel was originally a short form of Germanic names beginning with the element Angil, the name of a Germanic tribe – known in English as the Angles. Since the Middle Ages it has been firmly associated with the German word engel meaning "angel".” Spencer recited the definition immediately, without even thinking about it, and then flushed as he watched Gabriel’s grin grow in response. Dammit. That hadn’t been a request for information, just a comment on his ability to provide it. Spencer hated when he got those kinds of things mixed up. It usually ended with him providing a lot of information no one wanted.

That slow smile of Gabriel's grew a bit more and there were hints of laugh lines around his eyes. "You're adorable, has anyone ever told you that?"

Spencer had to look away to try an get his blush under control. One would think after all this time he would've learned how to control this! Clearing his throat, Spencer tried desperately to push past this and get them back on track. "All of that is beside the point."

"If you say so." Gabriel said teasingly. "You'll have to remind me what the point of this was, though. I'm a bit distracted at the moment. I haven't seen a grown man blush so adorably in a long, long time."

Spencer gave him a glare for that one, which just got him a laugh in return. "The point," He said, stressing his words to try and make it clear they were done with all this nonsense. "Was that it wasn't difficult to figure out who you were. Your words simply confirmed it."

"So now you know who I am." Tilting his head, Gabriel searched his face. "Quid pro quo, Clarice."

The meaning of the words was easy to understand, even if the name Clarice made no sense. Spencer shifted his weight around and looked over the being in front of him. Gabriel waited silently, one eyebrow arched in a look of expectation. He had an air about him that said he'd wait all day for an answer if he had to.

The question was, did Spencer really want to answer him? He was kind of scared to realize that he didn't quite know. There was a part of him that was still insisting that he be angry. It was the same part of him that was also shouting that he needed to keep his secret and protect it with everything he had. He knew what happened when word got out about his curse. But... would Gabriel really be like that? Would he really cause that kind of trouble? Spencer didn't know him well enough to be able to tell.

Everything that had been shared between them, everything that Spencer had learned, all of it was swirling around in Spencer's head as he instinctively tried to fit it together to come up with some semblance of understanding. What he was finding was enough to have him sighing. Holding on to anger right now was impossible. Gabriel had just given him a lot of information – bared his soul, so to speak. There was no way that Spencer could dishonor that. Everything about him was screaming sincerity. As strange as this whole thing was, it seemed real. Honest. But Spencer had been burned way too many times to so easily trust his own secret to another person.

Spencer looked at Gabriel and knew that there was no way he could give up his secrets yet. But at the same time, he couldn't turn Gabriel away either. Not after a speech like that. Making his decision, he drew in a breath and straightened himself back up. With one hand he gestured for Gabriel to follow him. “Come on. I’ll give you the tour.”

Gabriel looked surprised by Spencer's easy acquiescence. In his eyes Spencer could practically see the ‘that’s it?’ that he obviously wanted to say. But Spencer smiled at him, a real smile, and Gabriel seemed unable to do anything but smile back.

Chapter Text

There were worse ways to spend your afternoon than showing someone around the workplace. It was a job that Spencer felt probably would’ve gone a bit quicker if he’d been showing around anyone else besides Gabriel. The archangel – and wow, was it hard to think that word in association with this being! – was quickly proving that he could talk and joke more than anyone Spencer knew, and that included Derek. Gabriel kept up an almost constant running commentary on pretty much everything . He cheerfully greeted everyone they went past, asked some of the most ridiculous questions, and got way too excited when they chanced upon a small birthday party happening with some of the analysts.

Spencer still had no idea how Gabriel managed to charm two slices of cake off of them so quickly. But somehow they both ended up leaving with a slice apiece. At that point, well, who was going to argue against a piece of cake?

If there was one part of the whole ordeal that Spencer didn’t want to think about – his ears were still recovering – it was taking Gabriel in to meet Penelope. It was sort of his own fault; he should’ve better prepared himself for it. Five minutes in Gabriel’s company should’ve told him that he was just the type of person Penelope would get along with. Loud, happy, cheerful, a touch flamboyant in ways, and constantly teasing. The fact that Gabriel had called him about seven different names – not a one of them Spencer or Reid – should’ve been another clue. They were barely in Penelope’s office for thirty seconds before Gabriel caught sight of a book lying on her desk and was jumping forward, loudly exclaiming about something. Whatever it was, Penelope understood, and she spun around to immediately start chatting with him, her eyes bright and a grin on her face.

The only thing that saved Spencer from the dynamic duo was the buzz of his cell phone in his pocket. Spencer had never been more grateful to get a text than he had been in that moment.

It took some effort and a bit of raising his voice before he managed to cut through the conversation the two were having. When they looked up at him, he almost took a step back. “I, um.” With one hand he gestured over his shoulder towards the door. “I’ve got to go. Rossi sent me a message and he needs to speak with me in his office. Would you mind escorting Agent Engel back out to his desk when you two are done? Hotch was going to get it set up for him while I gave him the tour.”

“Sure thing, sweet cheeks!” Penelope said cheerfully.

The nickname made Spencer wince and Gabriel grin. That grin spelled nothing but trouble and Spencer was eager to get away before anything happened. At the same time, he still wasn't sure about Gabriel, even after everything the archangel had told him. Spencer was extending a lot of trust here. Leaving him alone with one of his teammates, especially one that wasn't up to defending herself against even a normal opponent, let alone an archangel ... it felt wrong.

Something of that must've shown on Spencer's face because Gabriel's expression shifted and became just a bit more open behind the mask that Spencer hadn't even realized the other had pulled up. “We'll be on our best behavior, kiddo. I promise I'll be good.”

“Oh, now, where's the fun in that?” Penelope teased.

Spencer left the office to the sound of laughter.

He made his way down to Dave's office and briefly entertained a wish that he was at home. Being inside of his own space right now sounded wonderful. Away from everything and everyone. There'd been enough emotional talks today. He'd had one with Derek and then one with Gabriel. The last thing he wanted was to have another. If it were anyone else, Spencer might've found a way to put it off. But this was Dave. There was no way Spencer could put it off with him. Especially not when the things going on involved him.

The curious looks he earned from JJ, Emily, and Derek when he made his way through the bullpen and didn't head towards them told him that he was likely going to have even more questions and conversations waiting for him. Great. Just, great.

Dave took one look at him when he poked his head in the door and immediately rose up from his chair. In seconds Spencer was being led towards a chair, the door firmly shut behind him. The blinds were already closed as if in anticipation of this. Spencer didn't care. He was absurdly grateful to sink down into the comfortable chair and accept the glass Dave pressed into his hands.

“You look like crap.” Dave said bluntly. He took a seat on the edge of his desk, right in front of Spencer's legs, and braced his hands on either side of him.

Spencer huffed out a laugh and rubbed a hand over his face. He took a sip off his drink – which turned out to surprisingly be scotch and not the coffee he'd expected – in the hopes it 'd help steady him. “Sometimes I'm reminded of the reasons why I used to keep myself away from people.”

“What's going on?”

There was no way that Spencer was going to get away with not explaining all this. Not only was it something big in their lives, both of theirs, it was something that was going to affect their day to day lives. Gabriel wasn't going to be just popping in now and again. He was here to work with them. That meant they'd see him constantly. Even if Spencer had been willing to keep all this secret – which he wasn’t – it would've been impossible. So, holding on to his glass in an attempt to steady himself, Spencer took a deep breath and started to tell him everything. “Do you remember the last case that we were on? While Morgan and I were out getting coffee, I happened to run into someone…”

It took a while to tell Dave all of it. Unlike with anyone else, here with Dave there was no need to skimp on details. Spencer laid it all out for him. Running into Gabriel, their connection in the past, all of it. He didn’t hide any of the details on what Gabriel was. Spencer had always made sure that Dave knew the truth about what was out there. For a while, there’d been a toss-up whether Dave would become a hunter instead of going into law enforcement.

By the time Spencer was done he’d emptied out the cup that Dave had given him and he was slumped down slightly in his chair. There was too much going on in his head, too many things for him to think about or focus on, and because of that he couldn’t seem to focus on any of them.

Dave seemed to be suffering the same problem. He was actually openly gaping at Spencer, mouth open ever so slightly and his eyes a bit wide. Usually Dave was rather good at keeping his emotions under control. Right at the moment, he couldn’t quite hide them. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Incredulousness lay heavy over his words. “You believe he’s telling you the truth? That he’s really Gabriel?”

“Yes.” Spencer rested his elbow on the arm of the chair and brought that hand up to his face so he could rub at his temples. “I’ve encountered enough angels in my existence to know without a doubt that they exist and to know that no one would be imprudent enough to claim to be an archangel unless they actually were one. I have no doubt that he’s who he says he is.”

It might’ve amused him at any other time to watch as Dave made the sign of the cross. While Spencer wasn’t extremely religious, he knew that God and angels existed, just as he knew other gods existed as well. He had tried to raise Dave as best as he could, with the options presented in front of him for the man to pick the beliefs that he felt comfortable with. As such Dave didn’t have just one religion that he clung to, but a mishmash of different ones. The time they’d spent in Italy had helped cement a few of his beliefs, though. “The archangel Gabriel.” Dave breathed out, still looking stunned. “I can’t believe it’s actually him.”

Sighing, Spencer pushed his hair back from his face. “It is. Though, I’d try to refrain from continuing to mention his name. If I remember correctly invoking their name in such a way, especially with such reverence, could be considered prayer. While I imagine he’s learned to tune those out to an extent, the fact that we’re in the same building as him might make it a bit more difficult for him to ignore. You keep calling out to him and he’s likely going to be privy to every word of our conversation and that’s something I’d like to prevent from happening, thank you very much. There are some things I’d rather he didn’t know.”

There was a slightly proper edge to Spencer's words there and a ghost of an accent that he knew would sound British if he let it take over his words. Living as long as he had meant Spencer had spent a lot of time in a lot of places. Spend enough time in any one place and you’re bound to start picking up on the accent there. His original accent from home had been lost, long ago. But certain moods brought out certain accents. When he was trying to control himself and keep calm, it tended to turn his words a bit more proper, bring out the English side of him. When he got comfortable with family – namely Dave – it brought out a touch of the Italian. Spencer hated it. He wished he could keep the American accent he’d worked so hard on. Dave, however, loved it, the little traitor.

Dave made a low humming sound at Spencer's words, though he didn't comment on the tone. Instead, he carefully asked “Does he....?”

“No.” Spencer answered immediately. “No, he does not, and for now I think I'm going to keep it that way.” If Gabriel proved anything like the angels that Spencer had met in the past it wasn't going to bode well for the immortal once Gabriel found out the truth. Angels didn't take well to a soul that had found a way to stay on earth without ever rising to Heaven or sinking to Hell.

Though Dave didn't know the major details about Spencer's time with angels, he knew enough to nod his understanding. “Do you know what you're going to do?”

Once more Spencer sighed. He twirled his glass in his hand and stared down at it as he tried to gather his thoughts together. “What can I do? He's here and apparently assigned to our team. There's no changing that. What's more, I feel he's being honest behind his reasons for being here. At least, for the most part. It's just... the risk here is huge. He could bring this all down around me if he wanted. Or he could get bored and vanish tomorrow. There's no certainty.”

“He really gets to you, doesn't he?”

“He confuses me.”

A smile touched Dave's lips. “Well from the sound of it, you're going to have plenty of time to figure him out.”

That had Spencer groaning and dropping his head back. He didn't want to have to do this. He didn't want to have to come to work each day and put on even more of an act than he already was. Spencer was going to have play his part for his teammates, play a part around Gabriel, as well as seemingly teaching the archangel of justice all about human justice. What on earth had he signed himself up for here? “The idea of starting over is very tempting right now.” It wouldn't be the first time Spencer had packed his bags and left when things got too risky.

“Is that what you want to do?” Dave asked him. His voice was normal; no hint of judgment anywhere in it.

Still, Spencer couldn't help but feel it anyways. He pressed his lips together and closed his eyes for the brief second it took to gather his composure once more. Quit being a coward . When he opened his eyes again, he lifted his head and looked at his son, at the man who had taught him what it was to live again. “No, David.” The words were softer than before, just a bit gentle. “No, I don't want to go. I like the life I have here. Even if it's not perfect, I like being able to have friends and to spend my time with you. I'm not going to let the possibility of trouble chase me away from my home.”

“Good.” Dave looked almost proud of him in that moment. He straightened up from his desk and Spencer took his cue from him, pushing up so that he was standing as well. He went easily into the embrace when Dave reached out for him. Normally Spencer wasn't the touching type of person. Too many personal sensory issues, too many memory triggers, too much discomfort and too little trust made him shy away from being touched more often than not. But he made exceptions. Dave was always an exception.

Spencer held him close and let himself just enjoy the embrace for a moment, offering Dave a bit of comfort. No, Spencer wasn’t going to go anywhere. He wasn’t going to run. This was his home. This was where his family was. And Spencer was going to do everything he could to keep all of them safe, no matter what happened.

The workday seemed to take even longer to pass by. Spencer tried and failed to focus on his work. It was exceedingly difficult when he had a new teammate that sat where Derek’s old desk used to be, back before his friend had gained an office. What made it worse was that Gabriel seemed intent on charming pretty much everyone and he took advantage of the afternoon to work on charming both Emily and JJ. And Spencer couldn’t even call him on it because there was technically nothing for Gabriel to do today except get to know the team. There was no real work for him to do yet. Plus, getting to know the team, and them getting to know him, was good. It’d make it easier for them all out in the field.

Unfortunately, thinking about that only led Spencer to thinking about all the other things that needed to be done to make things easier in the field. How much did Gabriel know about working on a team? How well was he going to handle having to do things a human way? He was an archangel – they sort of ran on their own set of rules. Would he be able to do things the human way? Would he be able to stand by and let human laws take care of things?

By the time the day ended, Spencer was very much ready to head home.

He didn’t even get a chance to get up from his desk before he had his teammates calling out to him. They’d gone over to the coffee pot earlier and Spencer had noticed Emily, Derek, Gabriel and JJ all talking, taking note of how much Gabriel was getting along with everyone – was it that he was actually getting along with them, or was there something else, some misuse of powers Spencer needed to worry about? – but he hadn’t paid any more attention than that. Now, though, Derek was calling his name as Spencer pushed up to his feet.

Spencer tried not to sigh as he pulled the strap of his bag up over his head to rest on his shoulder. He followed the wave of Derek’s hand and made his way over to the group.

“Hey, Reid.” Derek said the instant that Spencer was close enough to hear him. “You should come out with us. We’re gonna take Engel here around, show him the town.”

“Get him drunk.” Emily chimed in with a grin.

Gabriel was leaned back against the counter by the coffee pot, his mouth quirked up in that smirk that seemed to be permanently etched there. His eyes, however, were watching Spencer carefully, the look there full of questions Spencer wasn’t all that ready to answer.

Movement at his side warned Spencer just seconds before JJ’s arm slid around his waist and she leaned in against him. She was another of those rare people able to get away with touching him. Or, well, Spencer sometimes thought it was more that she was better able to read when he was accepting of a touch and when he wasn’t, and when it was okay to push it a bit. She’d worked to learn what his limits were and that made it easier for him to relax into her touch. “C’mon, Spence. It’ll be fun. You can come keep me company.”

Spencer remembered then that Will and Henry were on a trip to visit family, one that this last case had prevented JJ from joining them on, and likely she was feeling kind of lonely. That in and of itself was almost enough to get him to agree. Almost. “I’m sorry. I’ve actually got plans for my evening already.” He said, not even wincing at his own lie.

There was something in the way that Gabriel was looking at him that told him the archangel wasn’t believing his words; which was sort of funny in its own way because the rest of the team obviously did believe him. Derek was grinning broadly as he reached out and gave Spencer's arm a light smack. “Pretty boy, you got a date and you didn’t even tell me?”

The blush that caused wasn’t even fake and really only helped back up Derek’s statement. “Of course not!” he said, hating just how much his voice came out sounding like a squeak. But that only made them believe Derek all the more and it took a few minutes of dealing with teasing before Spencer was finally able to extract himself from the group. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow!” he called out as he beat a hasty retreat.

He had hoped he’d made a clear exit. That he could finally just get out of here. Unfortunately, as soon as he stepped into the elevator, he turned around and felt his stomach drop as he saw Gabriel jogging towards him. “Hold up a sec.” Gabriel called out, and Spencer reached a hand out to make sure the doors didn’t shut because he was far too polite. Gabriel flashed him a grin and hurried inside. “Thanks.”

The elevator ride was uncomfortably awkward. Spencer found himself fidgeting most of the way down. It didn’t get any better when they reached the lobby. Instead of going off his own way, Gabriel started walking outside with Spencer.

Spencer couldn’t help himself. He turned to look at Gabriel as they made their way out the door and gave him an accusing glare. “Are you following me?”

To his surprise, Gabriel immediately grinned and replied “Only a little.” He pushed the door open and held it there so that Spencer could get out before letting go of it. “I kind of wanted to see how long it’d take you to say something. You held it in pretty well, bucko. But, mostly I was just heading out to my car.”

“You drive?” Somehow, Spencer had a hard time seeing that. Few supernatural creatures with the ability to teleport – or fly, in the case of angels – would even know how to drive, let alone willingly do it.

“Yep!” Gabriel said, drawing the sound out to make the ‘p’ pop. He stopped at the point where they’d have to split – the garages in one direction and the bus stop in the next. As he stood there, he looked Spencer over from head to toe, not even trying to hide his survey. Whatever he saw had the lines on his face softening a little. His smirk was more smile now, less trouble. “Why don’t I give you a ride home, kiddo? No funny business, I promise!” He held his hands up, trying and failing to look innocent. “I’m not looking to cause trouble. But you look like a bus ride is the last thing you need.”

The idea of not having to ride home on the bus did sound amazing. Spencer's headache was still threatening him and he didn’t want to have to deal with the noise and chaos and crowdedness of the bus. There were always too many people on there in the evening, all of them talking too loud and too close, and the drive always went slower than normal from evening traffic. Being able to skip all that and ride home in a car had quite the appeal. Yet, at the same time, he wasn’t sure he was up for the conversation that Gabriel would likely want to have. “I… It’s been a long day, Gabriel.”

“I get that – I really do. Like I said, no trouble here. I promise, no more soul sharing. You wanna chat, we can chat. If not, I’ve got no problem unwinding with a bit of quiet. I just need you to talk enough to tell me where you live and that’s it.”

His words held a sincerity that Spencer could easily hear and it brushed away any of his reservations. He let out a small sigh that was only half frustration – the other half was relief – and nodded his head. “That’d be great, thank you.”

It was easy to fall into step at Gabriel’s side. Despite their differences in size and stride, they stayed easily beside one another. Gabriel didn’t even seem to mind moving quietly. He had his hands in his coat pockets and was strolling along like it was the most casual thing in the world. His easy acceptance of things only served to put Spencer a bit more on edge. How was he so relaxed? It’s because he’s not the one with a secret still hidden. He was blunt about who he is – you’re still hiding it.

The change in footsteps had Spencer paying attention once more to where he was going. When he saw the cars in front of them, he knew exactly which one they had to be heading for. Almost against his will he found a ghost of a smile touching his lips. “That’s your car?”

“That’s my handsome boy.” Gabriel said proudly. He stopped at the side of a Mustang that had to be early to mid-sixties and was painted a flashy candy apple red. It was old, a classic, a bit ostentatious looking, and seemed to suit Gabriel perfectly . The fact that he called it a handsome boy instead of a girl the way that most people did only served to make Spencer even more amused.

Just because Spencer didn’t drive all that often didn’t mean that he couldn’t appreciate a good car. When Gabriel opened the passenger’s door for him, Spencer folded himself down into the seat and took a moment to admire everything around him while he buckled himself in. He waited until Gabriel had come around and slid in behind the wheel before he asked him “Was this something you’ve always owned, or did you simply snap it up along with the rest of your cover here?”

His question didn’t seem to bother Gabriel at all. The archangel pulled out a set of keys from his coat pocket and put one into the ignition. “I own it, actually. There are times when it comes in handy to blend in with you humans.”

“Yes, because this car seems the perfect type to blend in .”

Gabriel chuckled, low and husky, and Spencer worked hard to not show any of his reactions to that sound. Something as simple as a laugh should not be able to sound so devilish and attractive all at the same time. Then he started the car up and the sound of the engine drowned out everything else for a moment. Spencer let himself relax down into his seat as Gabriel pulled out of the parking spot and headed for the road. The only things they said to one another after that were for brief directions to Spencer's place. After that, the car fell silent, and Spencer was surprised to find it was honestly relaxing to ride beside Gabriel. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Spencer knew there was no real chance of an accident with an archangel behind the wheel. Gabriel wasn’t going to let them crash. Not to say an angel couldn’t want to hurt him for some reason or another. He’d met enough angels to not be sucked into the faulty ideals that most humans had. But he knew enough to know that if an angel wanted to hurt him they weren’t going to do it through something ridiculous like a car wreck.

There had to be something more, though. Close proximity to grace, maybe? Or just some natural, soothing aura that angels exuded? Whatever it was, it had Spencer's muscles relaxing and his headache slowly fading away the closer to home that he got. Instead of wanting to escape the instant he got to his apartment, Spencer found himself almost sad when they pulled in. That had been the quietest and most peaceful ride he’d had in a long time.

Gabriel smoothly pulled his car into a parking spot and put it into park. He didn’t turn it off, though. Just let it idle as he turned to smile at Spencer. In the soft glow from the nearby street lamp, Gabriel’s face looked softer than before. Gentle, even. Like this ride had maybe relaxed him as much as it had relaxed Spencer. “Here you are, kiddo. Home sweet home.”

“Thank you.” Spencer's smile was shy, but it was honest.

Chuckling, Gabriel arched an eyebrow at him. “Don’t sound so surprised, Doc. I told you, no funny business. You seemed like you needed the quiet.”

“I did.” More than he probably realized. The quiet had done wonders for relaxing the tension that had been building all day. “I just, you don’t quite seem the type for quiet.” He shrugged and ducked his head a little, hoping that he hadn’t offended him.

The sound Gabriel let out was a strange mix of a snort and a laugh. “Yeah, I get that a lot. You know what they say, Dr. Reid. Don’t judge a book by its cover.” Those warm eyes ran over Spencer again before settling back on his face. “You of all people should know that.”

Spencer ducked his head down, suitably chastised. “I’m sorry.”

Silence fell over the car and Spencer snuck a look up to see Gabriel’s eyes had gone just a bit wide and his body was still. His mouth was open ever so slightly in what looked to be surprise. Seeing it, Spencer furrowed his brow, curious despite himself. “What?”

“You apologized.” As if realizing how he sounded, Gabriel paused and cleared his throat. His expression cleared again, looking less surprised now and more relaxed like it had been moments ago. If Spencer hadn’t glimpsed it, he never would’ve known he caught the archangel off guard.

Was it really that big of a deal that someone apologized to him? Spencer had been the one in the wrong, making judgments he shouldn’t have made. It was only right he apologized for it. Why would hearing it surprise Gabriel?

The car went quiet for a moment, only the quiet wasn’t as easy as it had been before. There was an awkward edge to it that had Spencer shifting around a little. He realized as he did that he was still buckled and he quickly moved his hands to remedy that. Time to get out of the car and quit lingering, Spencer. “I should let you go so you can meet up with the others. Thank you for the ride home, Gabriel. I appreciate it.”

“No problem. See you tomorrow, Dr. Reid.”

As Spencer got out of the car and made his way to his apartment, he found himself smiling. Maybe… maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad.

Chapter Text

It looked like Gabriel was going to get a quick introduction to the BAU. Just hours after Spencer left Gabriel’s car, the genius was woken by the sound of his phone ringing. He hadn’t been asleep for nearly long enough but years of working this job had Spencer moving almost on autopilot as he got himself ready to head straight to the jet.

There wasn’t enough time to stop off anywhere and grab some coffee and Spencer was sadly reminded when he looked in his cupboards that he hadn’t been shopping recently and he really needed to go get himself some things when he got back home. That meant that he was still functioning at the bare minimum by the time he arrived at the jet. He stored his bag and then walked into the main part of the jet, only to find Derek right there in front of him with a cup of coffee in his hand that he immediately held out Spencer's direction as soon as he caught sight of him. Spencer practically pounced on him, much to the amusement of everyone watching. “Calm down there, pretty boy. Don’t take my hand off.” Derek teased him.

Spencer made a low humming sound of pleasure as he took a sip off the extremely sugary beverage. Thank God for good friends. “Thank you so much.” He said, moving with Derek to go take a seat around one of the small tables. Gabriel and Emily were already there, the two of them grinning up at him with their own cups of coffee. Spencer let Derek sit down first and then took the outside seat, sighing happily as he took another drink. “I didn’t have time to stop anywhere and I forgot completely to go grocery shopping, so my cupboards are almost entirely empty.”

That earned him a scowl from Derek and a chastising look from JJ, who was coming up to lean alongside their table at Aaron’s side. “I’m taking you shopping once we’re home.” JJ said firmly.

“Don’t thank me.” Derek said. He lifted his own coffee off the table and gestured at Gabriel. “Engel brought coffee enough for everyone when he showed up.”

Spencer paused only briefly, the cup resting against his lip. His eyes found Gabriel’s and there was amusement showing in the little crinkles around them and the way he’d pressed his lips together, like he was trying not to laugh. Spencer licked his own lips and took a deliberate drink off the coffee. Taking food or drinks supplied by a supernatural entity wasn’t exactly the smartest of plans. But he was going to be trusting this guy to have his back out in the field; that trust had to start somewhere. “Thank you.”

Gabriel waved a hand at him. “Don’t mention it. New guy’s gotta suck up somehow, right?” His smile grew at the chuckles from everyone else. Those chuckles grew when Gabriel continued on to ask “You often forget things like buying food, kiddo?”

“If it wasn’t for Garcia setting up autopay for things, Reid would live in darkness with no heat and no cell phone.” Derek teased him.

From behind Spencer came a low laugh and then Dave’s voice, chiming in “If he was lucky enough to still have an apartment when he got back from a case.”

Heat burned Spencer's cheeks and he ducked down a little in his seat. “I know how to pay my own bills!” He insisted. When all that got him was more laughter, he cleared his throat and deliberately looked up at Aaron. “Aren’t we supposed to be working an urgent case?”

A faint twitch of the lips showed that their serious Unit Chief was just as amused by this as everyone else. He was at least nice enough to allow Spencer the out he was looking for. “Reid’s right.” Drawing everyone back to what was important, Aaron pulled out his files and prepared to start debriefing them on their case. “Reid’s right.  We need to move on this case, fast. In the last three months, seven couples in Lawton, Arkansas have gone missing. Just a week ago the local PD found four of the couples’ bodies buried along a local hiking trail. The recent rains seemed to have washed the dirt away enough for them to finally be visible.”

Everyone had their tablets out while Spencer picked up the folders on the table that Penelope always made sure he had. He could use the tablets, if he so chose. He just very much preferred having a hard copy to look over.

“Woah.” Emily breathed out, her eyes fixed on the screen in front of her. “Is there any way to tell how much of the damage on the more recent victims are from our Unsub and how much are from wildlife?”

She had a valid point. Spencer looked down at the pictures in his folder and battled back a wince. The bodies of the couples – all men and women in their late thirties to early forties – were badly damaged. Spencer's eyes ran over the injuries on the first photos, as well as the photos from the morgue, and his eyes were already picking up on details that made his stomach churn a little. “These are all inflicted by the Unsub.”

“Seriously?” JJ asked, looking up in surprise. “That’s an awful lot of rage.”

Spencer nodded his agreement. “Look at the burial site, though. All of these bodies were buried at least semi-decently, even if our Unsub didn’t take into account the slope that would allow the rain and weather to wash away some of the dirt. Where they were buried, how deeply they were buried, means that animals wouldn’t have been able to get in there to them. At least, nothing more than the usual bugs and such that any decomposing body attracts. But more than that, you can see the precision in a lot of these marks. The cuts, they’re too smooth in most places to be the result of animals.”

“The ME agreed with you, Boy Wonder.” Penelope’s voice chimed in. Everyone looked up to see that Derek had pulled open the laptop, apparently in answer to a call from Penelope. Her face filled the screen, their little random ray of sunshine amidst the horror they were all looking at. “All injuries look to be caused before our victims died, most likely by some sort of hunting knife. Unfortunately , that doesn’t really help us as the area is full of hunters. The town is right at the Ozark National Forest.

“The Ozark National Forest covers 1.2 million acres, mostly in the Ozark mountains of northern Arkansas.” Spencer told them, looking up from his papers.

“Three hours ago, a couple went missing. The rest of their camping crew reported them gone to the local rangers, who called it in as quickly as possible. They fit the victim criteria and they’re taken in the same fifty mile radius as the other couples.” Aaron said. “Right now, our Unsub has a three hour head start on us. We need to do everything we can to catch up with him. We have no idea right now how long he holds the couples for, but based off his timeline it can’t be more than a week, possibly less than that.”

Gabriel was looking through his own tablet as well – Spencer was willing to bet that he hadn’t even had to magic himself up one, most likely Penelope had been all over making sure he was prepared – and he didn’t seem to be all that bothered by what he was seeing. Spencer knew he’d probably seen worse than this. All of them here had, but most likely nothing in comparison to the things an archangel would’ve seen. Would it bother him less, the fact that they were only humans? Very few supernatural creatures had held any sort of real, serious care for human life. Even angels.

“Well he’s definitely got a type.” Derek said.

Dave nodded, looking down at the pictures. “All couples, all middle aged but still relatively healthy.”

“All the women are brunettes.” Emily pointed out. “The men are all fit, tall men who look like they could handle themselves in a fight. That means our Unsub is probably fit enough to take them on.”

“Or he’s got the leverage.” Gabriel pointed out, speaking up for the first time. He looked up, shrugging when they looked his way. “Middle of the night, all you’d need is to wait for someone to get up to go to the bathroom, or to step away from their partner. Then you just need a gun to threaten one of them and subdue them both.”

“It makes sense.” Dave agreed. He leaned against the seat by Emily’s head, twisted just enough to look at them all. “Go after the women first. They’re smaller, weaker in his eyes. Once he’s got a gun to her head, it’d be easy to make the husbands cooperate.”

It was chilling to think of. None of them let it show, though. They knew better than that. Their minds had to be engaged more than their hearts here.

Aaron closed his tablet and looked over his team. “Morgan, Prentiss, Dave, I want you guys to go to the dump site, see what you can find. JJ, you’re with me. We’ll head to the abduction site and meet up with the local rangers there. Reid, Engel, head to the local PD and see about getting us set up. Try and work on victimology. See what a geographical profile can tell us, Reid. Anything that might help us narrow it down.”

Somehow Spencer wasn’t all that surprised to find that Gabriel was going to be with him. He couldn’t even blame it on the archangel doing anything, either. It made the most sense to send them there. Geographical profiles were Spencer's area of expertise and one could really come in handy on this case. Plus, he was the least physically fit of the bunch, at least going off of looks and what he let the outside world see – no one needed to know about the skills he kept very quiet – so keeping him out of the forest was natural. As for Gabriel, he was new to their unit, this was his first case, and Aaron was going to want to get to know him and his skills before he really sent him out into the field.

Either way, it was a good thing in Spencer's mind. It’d give him a chance to be able to talk with Gabriel and slowly get him introduced into life at the BAU without a giant audience. So long as the locals didn’t crowd them.

Gabriel had said he wanted to learn; Spencer would do everything he could to teach him.

Spencer sort of expected questions from Gabriel when the two were in an SUV – Gabriel was the one driving – and were on their way to the local station. What he hadn’t expected was for Gabriel’s first question to be “So, can I ask – why does everyone on your team call each other by their last names?”

The question threw Spencer for a split second. Then he couldn’t help but smile. It wasn’t the first time he’d been asked that and it probably wouldn’t be the last. It wasn’t surprising that Gabriel, who probably hadn’t had a last name before until this, was a little caught off guard by it. “It’s a hazard of the job.” Spencer explained to him. “We travel to a lot of different places, speak with so many different people, and introductions are always made by referring to our status and our last name. Agent Hotchner, Agent Rossi…”

“Dr. Reid.” Gabriel snuck a smile at him.

“Exactly.” Before he even realized it, Spencer as smiling back at him. As soon as he realized what he was doing he cleared his throat and yanked his gaze away, forcing his eyes straight ahead once more. Being friendly is one thing – getting close is something else entirely. Don’t be stupid here! “It’s, well, when you’re constantly called by your title or your last name on the job, it makes more sense for you to call your teammates that as well. If we introduced Morgan to everyone as Agent Morgan and then proceeded to talk about him using his given name, it’d confuse the locals. So, we use each other’s last names. After a while it just becomes easier to do it all the time and not just on cases. I don’t even notice it anymore.”

Gabriel made a low sound that might’ve been understanding or agreement, or just acknowledgement of Spencer's words. He kept quiet after that for about the next block. Then, as he was taking their next turn, he said “It’s kind of, weird, to be called Engel all the time.” The words were pitched sort of low, an admittance that Spencer got the feeling Gabriel was a little uncomfortable with. Why, Spencer had no idea. It wasn’t like he was imparting any state secrets.

Still, Spencer was careful with his answer, even if he didn’t understand why this was an uncomfortable topic for Gabriel. “I imagine it is. It takes some getting used to, responding to a name that’s not actually yours.” That was something that Spencer knew well. He’d been called many things in his past; none of them anymore were the name he’d been born with.

“Aint that the truth.” Gabriel murmured. “An sometimes you respond to that name long enough, it’s weird hearing your old one all over again.”

Now that sounded like there was a story behind it. Spencer looked up from the folder in his lap. His brow furrowed as he glanced over at his companion.

Just as he opened his mouth to say something, Gabriel beat him to it. “Not right now, Doc. It’s not my most flattering story, but it’s not a secret anymore either. I promise I’ll explain it all later.” Gabriel turned his head just enough to flash Spencer a grin, any of his previous nerves gone from his face, and then he was focusing on the road again as he took another turn. “Right now why don’t we talk about more important things before we get to the station. Like, oh, I don’t know – how on earth you think I’m gonna be able to help here. Like I told you before, you humans require things like proof.  I can’t just tell you your bad guy is over here. It won’t do you any good if you can't prove it’s him. “

Pushing when Gabriel so obviously wasn’t ready to talk would get him nowhere. If there was one thing Spencer had, it was patience. He could wait until a later time to find out what that little remark had been about. And from the sounds of it, Gabriel was going to share it with him. For now Spencer would have to be content with that. Besides, he was right. They needed to focus on the case at the moment. “No, you’re absolutely right.” Spencer said agreeably. “But, you can help point us in the right direction. You could help find a missing child before it’s too late, nudge us towards a certain suspect, help us narrow down who it isn’t. I don’t know everything about angelic ability, let alone when said angel is an archangel, but I know you still have limits on things you can do. I’m not asking you to be a miracle worker and solve all our cases, Gabriel. I’m simply asking that you help us, just like any other member of the team. There are so many things that you can do without having to ever reveal what you are.”

“You’ve given this a lot of thought.”

That had Spencer shrugging one shoulder. “You came to me wanting to learn. How can I teach you anything if I don’t think about how to do it all first?”

It still felt weird sometimes to go and get set up at a police station without Aaron there to lead the way. Spencer could do it, he just felt sort of odd stepping into that kind of role when it wasn’t the part he was playing here. Nor was it ever really a part he’d been comfortable playing. Being a leader had never been his thing. He’d been forced into it plenty of times but that didn’t mean it was something he was comfortable doing. He much preferred being quiet and helping from the sidelines. Let the responsibility of others’ lives fall on the shoulders of someone else who deserved that kind of trust.

Still, for the littler things like this, Spencer could step up if he needed to.

Detective Marquez met them almost the instant that Gabriel and Spencer made their way into the station. “BAU, I presume?” The man said, coming forward with a hand held out to him. “I’m Detective Marquez. I spoke with Agent Hotchner on the phone.”

Years of habit had Spencer bringing his hand up, not to shake, but to give a small wave. “I’m Dr. Reid and this here is Agent Engel.”

Amusement was bright on Gabriel’s face. He reached past Spencer and took the hand the man still had extended, grinning as he shook it. “Don’t mind him, Detective. It’s a pleasure to meet you, though I wish it was under better circumstances.”

“You can say that again.” The detective let go of Gabriel’s hand to step back and gesture them across the station. “We’ve got a room back here already set up with the things Agent Hotchner asked for. If you’ll just follow me.”

The conference room he led them to was set up just like any other room that Spencer had been in over the years. Stacks of folders on the table, a board for victims on one wall, right next to a second board where they could put up information about potential Unsubs. There was also a tack board that had been rolled in for them and a stack of maps were set on the table in front of it. “Hopefully we have everything you need.” The detective said, holding the door so that they could come in. “If anything’s missing, just let us know.”

“Thank you, Detective. It looks like we’ve got everything we need to get started.” Spencer reassured him.

“I’ll let you get to it, then. I’m heading down to the morgue, so if you need anything, just ask any of the other officers out here.”

Spencer nodded and fixed his focus on the files on the table, already mostly forgetting the man behind him. He only vaguely took note of it as the detective left and shut the door behind him. However, he did notice as Gabriel came up to his side. “All right, kiddo. Tell me what you need me to do.”

“Stop calling me kiddo.” Spencer said automatically. It was hard enough to get people to see him as an adult when he looked so young. On a job, he needed any edge he could get.

“All right then, Doc. Tell me what you need me to do.”

Well, Doc was better than kiddo, even if he sounded sarcastic as he said it. Spencer was willing to take it. Besides, most of his mind was already set on the case and what they needed to do. The rest of it was unimportant.  “I need you to set up our victim board over there. Photos, information, all of it, separated in chronological order. We need to look at them and find out anything we can that ties these victims together. Something that would show us how he’s choosing them. It’s not all by chance – as popular a tourist place as this can be for campers and hunters, to find this many out here that fit at least some of the physical description would take a bit of work. We need to figure out how he does it. While you do that, I’m going to start a geographical profile.”

“What’s that?”

Already moving towards the board, Spencer answered absently, well used to hearing that question from people. “Geographic profiling evaluates the locations of connected serial crimes to determine the most probable area of offender residence.” He sifted through the maps, taking a moment to find the one that was best suited for what he needed. Once he had it, he pulled it up and grabbed a few of the pins off the side of the board so that he could hang it up. Even as he did, he continued to speak. “It works on the premise that the location of a crime site can provide us with vital information. Using geographical profiling helps us assess and predict the Unsub’s most likely place of residence, place of work, social venues and travel routes. It consists of both quantitative scientific geographic techniques and qualitative components.”

He heard a low whistle behind him amidst the shuffling of papers. “Damn. That’s a pretty handy trick.”

“They’ve created a Criminal Geographic Targeting program to try and help them out with it.” Spencer moved to grab the markers now that he had the map all pinned up. “It takes the spatial data, distance and movement to and from the crime scene, and all of it’s analyzed to produce a three-dimensional model known as a jeopardy surface. The jeopardy surface contains height and color probability codes which when superimposed onto a map of the area in which the serial crimes have been committed give an indication of the likelihood of offender residence or place of work. I find it simpler and quicker just to do it all by hand.”

“Of course you do.” He heard Gabriel murmur behind him. There was a bit more shuffling of papers, the sound of tape being pulled from a dispenser, and then Gabriel’s voice was back and clear once more. “I can see how it’d help. Establishing the probability of the Unsub living or working in different areas would really help narrow down a search. It’ll help us geographically prioritize suspects. Plus, these local guys can concentrate their patrol efforts in the areas where the Unsub is most likely to be active.”

Gabriel’s words had Spencer stopping in place, his hand frozen over the first point he was about to make on the map. He couldn’t help himself – he turned around to look over at the other man, watching as Gabriel taped up yet another picture. For the first time Spencer realized that he was talking to someone who had the ability to actually comprehend what it was he was saying. Gabriel might come off as snark and jokes – like some crazy mix between Penelope and Derek, and that was way more than Spencer needed to ever think about – but underneath all that he was an angel. An angel who had the capacity to understand more than Spencer could ever hope to. Spencer's explanation on geographical profiling hadn’t just fallen on deaf ears. Gabriel really, truly understood what he was saying.

As if sensing that he was being watched, Gabriel looked up from the board. He cocked one eyebrow when he found Spencer watching him. “Everything all right?”

Color flooded Spencer's cheeks at being caught staring. He quickly spun back, almost fumbling the marker he held, and he had to clear his throat before he could get his voice to come out. “Y-Yes, of course. Everything’s fine.”

“Has anyone ever told you how adorable you are when you blush?”

This time Spencer swore he could feel the color flooding his face straight up to the tips of his ears. He ducked his head down and refused to dignify that with a response – it would only encourage him.

He ignored the sound of Gabriel’s low chuckles behind him.

Making the geographical profile went quicker than normal. There was plenty of data for Spencer to work with and for a while there wasn’t anyone but Gabriel in the room to disturb him – and Gabriel wasn’t really all that disturbing of a companion. Spencer was used to working with people who talked around him or over him when he was busy, or who tried to talk to him. They asked questions and tried to get whatever information he could provide the instant it was there. They were trying to save lives, so Spencer never let it bother him. He understood the rush.

Working with Gabriel in the room was nothing like that. The archangel went about his own work and didn’t bother Spencer in his. He didn’t ask him what was going on, or ask him to hurry up, or lean over him and stare down at what he was doing. Once or twice he came and snuck a look. Whatever he thought about what he saw, he generally kept to himself. Then he was back over at the boards working on victimology. The only time that they took a break on things was when Penelope called. Even then, Spencer ended up passing off his phone – on speakerphone – to Gabriel. He listened with half an ear to the way the archangel talked victimology with Penelope and he made a mental note to ask Gabriel later if he’d ever done any kind of law enforcement work. Mostly at the moment it was Penelope steering Gabriel where he needed to go, but he was either a tiny bit experienced, or he was picking up on things awfully fast.

Spencer had just wrapped up the last of his work on the map when the rest of the team joined them. In that time, Spencer wasn’t the only one to be impressed with the work Gabriel had done. With Penelope’s help, he’d found a connection between their victims – a gas station where they’d all bought gas on their way out to hunt or hike or camp.

“Great work, guys.” Aaron praised them, something that flustered Penelope a little and made Gabriel smile. Aaron wasn’t the type to lavish out praise, so when he gave it, he meant it. “Dave, why don’t you and Prentiss go to the station and talk with the owner, see what you can find out. We need to see if there’s anyone that either worked there or is in there often enough that they might’ve seen our victims.”

“You got it.” Dave said. He gathered up Emily and the two made their way out of the room, only a brief glance exchanged between Dave and Spencer. It was enough for Spencer to give the same silent ‘be careful’ that he’d given so many times before. Watching Dave go out on a case never really got any easier. Spencer had to fight back the urge to go with him, to keep him safe. He couldn’t baby him like that. He had to let him grow up. Had to let him be a man.

The chair beside Spencer shifted a little and he felt a knee press against his leg. Spencer looked away from Aaron, who was busy talking to Penelope and having her look into the records of everyone at the gas station, and down to the person beside him. He hadn’t realized that Gabriel’s chair had ended up that close to his. The archangel was turned a little, just enough that his knee could press against Spencer's leg. His eyes were compassionate as they locked on his. “He’ll be fine.” Gabriel’s voice was a murmur so low Spencer barely heard it. Yet when he did, he snuck a glance to make sure no one else was close enough to hear.

Only when he was sure that Gabriel’s words hadn’t been overheard did he look back at him. Neither one of them had talked about David’s identity yet. Spencer knew that Gabriel remembered the name of the child, just as surely as he’d remembered Spencer's face, yet he hadn’t brought it up. The truth of it was something neither one had mentioned so far. But Gabriel must’ve picked up on Spencer's worry and was trying to soothe it. Realizing that, Spencer smothered down a sigh and let some of the tension bleed out of his shoulders. “I know. I just…”

“Worry.” Gabriel finished lightly. He snuck a glance up at Aaron and the others as well, checking that they were distracted, and then smiled at Spencer again. “It comes with the territory. Trust me, I know.”

The way he said that, the look in his eyes, had Spencer wanting to ask more. Was Gabriel saying that he was a father? That he had children? But now wasn’t the time for those questions. He couldn’t ask that here. They had a case to solve and a couple to find. So instead, Spencer just nodded at him and added those questions to the ever growing list of questions inside his mind. Then he turned his focus back to the case at hand.

Chapter Text

When they’d started this case, Spencer had only had a vague idea on how to have Gabriel work with them, focusing mainly on how his powers could be used. But as the case progressed Spencer began to see that there was a whole lot more than just his powers that Gabriel could use. There was an amazing mind and some damn good instincts that worked in there as well.

With the area that Spencer had been able to narrow down for their search efforts, the rescue teams had a better place in which to search. Gabriel wasted almost no time in suggesting that they go and join them, moving to stand at Spencer's side in a way that made it clear he wasn't talking about just him going. To Spencer's surprise, Aaron had absolutely no issue with it.

There was no way that Gabriel could just go straight out and rush to save this couple from whatever was happening to them. He could, however, apparently use his powers while they were out there trying to find them. He explained it quietly to Spencer as they walked through the forest. “I can’t just track down any human out there with a thought.” Gabriel murmured to Spencer as they walked along, their arms brushing together occasionally. “I’m not Dad; I can’t just say ‘Oh, yeah, Tiffany So-and-so is in Portland, Oregon on Main Street right now. That’s not how angels work. Not even archangels. But, I can sense a soul. I can feel them around us. If we get close enough, I’ll be able to feel the souls of the couple and point us in the right direction.”

“How do you separate them from the souls of everyone else?” Spencer asked curiously. He didn’t even notice as he pressed in a bit closer, trying to keep their conversation private.

Gabriel reached up and caught Spencer's arm to keep him from tripping over something. Once he was steadied, he let him go. “Their souls will reflect what’s happening to them.” It was all he said, but it was enough. Spencer tried not to shudder at the idea of what the souls of this couple might look like. He drew in a shaky breath, pushing back the nausea that built, and he managed to not jump when Gabriel’s hand steadied him yet again so that he wouldn’t fall.

Both of them missed the eyes of their teammates, which were watching them almost as much as they were watching the forest around them.

Aaron had been a bit stunned when Spencer had volunteered to go with them, but he hadn’t protested, and Gabriel had latched onto him the minute they were outside. So far the team seemed to think that the two were just getting along well and were willing to leave it at that. Spencer knew later on he’d get some teasing, though. That was just how his friends worked.

They’d been walking for an hour when the call came in – they’d found their Unsub. Spencer stood with Gabriel, Derek, and JJ as they listened to Aaron’s voice through the cell phone held out in the middle of them. “Maurice Dugadi was an employee of the gas station for the last twelve years. He’s used it to find couples that suit his interests. When Dave and Prentiss showed up, he got spooked and tried to run, but they managed to subdue him. We’ve brought him in for questioning but I’m not sure how much we’re going to get out of him.”

“He won’t want to give up where he’s keeping them.” Derek said, looking around the woods.

JJ grimaced. “If they’re even still alive. We have to consider the possibility that he’s already killed them.”

“I don’t think he has.” Spencer shook his head, furrowing his brows as he thought about it. “Think of the damage done to the other victims.”

At his side he felt Gabriel nod. “It didn’t happen all at once, even if it looked like it did. Some of those marks were older than the others, even if it wasn’t by much.”

“He gets off on the pain he causes them. This isn’t some instant gratification thing. He’d want to take his time making the both of them suffer. And with two, he has the ability to alternate between one and the other, torturing them each in turn.” Spencer pointed out. “It could make the whole thing last even longer, giving one a break while torturing the other one.”

“You guys can continue with the search if you want. We’ll handle the interrogation.” Aaron reassured them.

It wasn’t until Derek had pocketed his phone and they were all searching once more that Gabriel spoke up again. He shook his head as he navigated them around a set of tree roots. “I don’t understand the human race sometimes. The things some of you do to one another – I don’t think I’ll ever understand it.”

“It’s our job as profilers to try to understand them.” Spencer cast a look at the person closest to them, a local from the Search and Rescue team. They were far enough away that they shouldn’t hear so long as he kept his voice down. “Not all humans are like this, though. There are plenty more out there that show the good side in humanity. I mean, look around you.” Gesturing with one hand, Spencer indicated all the people out here searching. “Look at everyone that’s turned out to search for a couple they don’t even know. They came out here to try and find them, giving up their own free time, time away from their lives and their families, to try and find this couple. They did it knowing there was a chance they might encounter the Unsub in the forest and could potentially be putting themselves at risk. Yet they’re still out here. They’re still trying to help.”

Gabriel slanted a look over at Spencer, nudging him a little as he did to steer him towards the left. “You’re one of those people that thinks the best of everyone, aren’t you?”

“God, no!” Spencer burst out, his words so vehement they drew the attention of a few others, including their teammates. Spencer flushed a little and waved a hand to Derek and JJ to let them know he was fine. When they turned away and Spencer looked back to Gabriel, he found the archangel watching him with amusement. Spencer tried to ignore that, refusing to blush yet again today, and focused back on where he was going. “I like to think that people are good, yes, but I’m not naïve enough to believe that everyone is good. I wouldn’t be able to do my job if that were the case.” He wouldn’t have been able to survive all these years with a mindset like that. “I’ve learned how to see the dark in someone just as much as I see the light. We all have it. How we live with it and what we do with that darkness is part of what makes us who we are. Sometimes there are people I believe who lose themselves in that darkness. Who just… can’t be saved anymore. But I like to think that number is heavily outweighed by those that do try. Those that want to be better. Are there horrible people in this world? Yes – I’ve met plenty enough to know that truth. But there are so many more good people. People who honestly care.”

For a long moment Gabriel was quiet, simply walking beside him. When he spoke again, his voice was low and just a bit hesitant. “I’ve spent a lot of time around humanity. I ran away from home once, a long, long time ago, and I spent longer than humans could comprehend hiding out as Loki. I’ve handed out justice to some pretty screwed up people out there, giving them their just desserts. But I don’t think in that time I’ve ever met very many humans quite like you.”

The compliment in that warmed Spencer inside. Another part of it was added to that mental list – Loki? He had been Loki? For the rest of it, well. Spencer shook his head. “Of course you haven’t.” He slanted a look over at the being beside him. “By your own words, you’ve been handing out justice, which means that you’ve most likely been dealing with some of the worst that humanity has to offer. Where in there would you have encountered a decent human being?” Facing forward again, Spencer focused back on the trees around him, trying to read for signs of anything. “You can’t expect to see the good when all you’re looking at is the worst.”

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Gabriel open his mouth, only to snap it back shut again. Apparently he’d managed to stump the archangel.

Then, all of a sudden, Gabriel froze in place. His body went rigid and his eyes snapped off to the left. There was a distant look in them, as if he were seeing something far beyond them. Spencer took a step closer and tried to shield the archangel so that no one else would be able to see what Spencer was seeing. “Gabriel?”

“Over there.” Gabriel said lowly, lifting a hand to point. “I can sense someone over there, someone that’s hurt.”

It wasn’t easy to get them moving while still trying to make sure that no one would be able to see the strange look on Gabriel’s face. Spencer had to be careful about it; he knew his teammates would be watching them. They were probably reading so much into their actions already.

Spencer and Gabriel moved together, with Spencer bending and glancing at things along the way, trying to find signs of something, pretending that there might be some hint of a trail for them to follow. Someone needed to think ahead enough to cover Gabriel. He wouldn’t be able to tell anyone that he’d just ‘sensed’ their victims. So Spencer pretended, right up until the moment where he caught sight of something. A bit of cloth stuck to a branch, like it’d been torn off someone’s shirt.

A low whistle from Spencer caught Derek’s attention. He gestured to the branch and the other profiler nodded. Immediately, people started to converge on Spencer and Gabriel, everyone moving quietly. They already had their Unsub but that didn’t mean that they should proceed without caution. It was always better to be safe. Spencer followed carefully at Gabriel’s side as they rounded a corner and found a small little hunter’s lodge just ahead of them. Spencer stuck his hand out and put it against Gabriel’s chest, keeping him back, even as he drew his weapon. Carefully, with Gabriel at his back and JJ and Derek on the other side of the building, the profilers made their way forward.

The door was unlocked when Spencer tested it. He cast a look at Gabriel, who was holding his gun like a professional and who looked entirely calm, and the profiler hoped with everything in him that he wasn’t making a mistake trusting him with his back. Then he gestured to Gabriel to grab the door and moved so that he could step inside the instant the door opened.

What they found inside had Spencer wanting to start gagging almost immediately. The windows had all been shut so they hadn’t noticed it before, but now that they were inside the only thing they could smell was the foul odor of blood and other bodily fluids. It was clear where it was all coming from – the young couple they were looking for were lying there on two tables in the middle of the room with another table nearby covered in bloody knives and other horrifying items. The cabin itself seemed to be one room, with no other attachments, so it only took a look for Spencer to realize that there was no one else here. Even as the back door burst open with Derek and JJ rushing inside, Spencer was holstering his weapon and hurrying forward to the table. He vaguely noticed that Gabriel was doing the same, going right to the husband’s side while Spencer went to the wife.

A quick touch told Spencer that the woman was alive. But it was the look over her body that sent his worry into overdrive. There were various lacerations covering her entire body but it was the one on her stomach that was steadily bleeding that worried him the most. In a flash Spencer was yanking off the bulletproof vests they’d all worn out here and then was moving to take off his over shirt as well. He wouldn’t trust a single item of cloth in this building to not have something on it that would only make things worse. “We need a medic in here, now!” Spencer snapped out. He bundled up the shirt in his hands and looked at the S&R person that had come in behind them. “Please tell me you have some sort of supplies with you.”

The woman didn’t even hesitate to follow Spencer's words. She slid off the bag that all the professional Search and Rescue people carried and in moments she had a medical kit out. Not much of one, but enough. Without even thinking about it, Spencer slipped into a persona he’d worn many times, one that he didn’t often don anymore. The medical doctor in him took control as he directed the people around him, all the while hoping that help would arrive soon. “Good. Get that open and pull out any bandages that you have. She’s lost a lot of blood already and we need to get what we can under control." As he spoke, he worked to bundle up the shirt he held and press it against the wound on her stomach. The minute he did, a low sound came from her throat and Spencer cursed it even as he took it as a good sign that she was waking up. A quick scan of his memory told him what her name was. “Elsie?” Holding firm over the wound, Spencer moved himself just enough to be able to see the woman’s face, to watch as her eyes opened. He kept his voice steady and calm as he continued to speak. “Elsie, it’s okay. You’re all right.”

“Nnnnoo….” Her voice was slurred and her eyes heavy even as she tried to struggle underneath him, her mind only registering the pain right now, not that they were here to help.

Spencer didn’t let his voice waver. “Elsie, I need you to be still. My name is Dr. Spencer Reid and my team and I are here to help you and your husband, but you’ve been badly injured and I need you to be still for me.”

JJ, bless her, moved around where Derek and Gabriel were working on the husband and she hurried forward, right up to Elsie’s head. Her low, soothing voice became a murmur at the edge of Spencer's hearing, but Elsie stopped struggling and for that Spencer was grateful. He left Elsie in JJ’s capable hands and focused instead on her injuries. The S&R woman was moving quickly and efficiently on the other side of their victim, checking her over for any more injuries that might be bleeding. Thank God there didn’t seem to be any. The fact that she was bleeding at all, when their Unsub had been in custody for a little while now and had been at work before that, meant that she’d already lost too much blood. Spencer had to hope that she had just moved wrong and tore it open, starting the bleeding over again. Otherwise, her chances of making it even to the hospital plummeted.

Another pair of hands appeared near Spencer's and he looked up to find that Gabriel had moved right next to him. Already bloody hands were reaching out and Spencer didn’t even think before he used his arm to nudge them away.

Gabriel looked up at Spencer, his expression more serious than ever before. “I can help.”

“Not with bloody hands.”

“Here” another voice said. Spencer saw as another person stepped into the cabin and held out a bottle of water to pour over Gabriel’s hands. As they did, they looked up at Spencer. “Medics are five minutes out, at most.”

“Good.” Spencer watched carefully as Gabriel’s hands were cleaned. “I don’t know the husband’s condition, but she needs a paramedic and an operating room as quickly as possible.”

Now that his hands were clean, Gabriel was back at Spencer's side, reaching out for the shirt he had wadded up. “Keep the pressure on, I just need to check right here at the edges.” Gabriel warned him. At the same time, something brushed against Spencer's head, something he hadn’t felt in a very long time. It took everything he had to battle down the instinct to yank his mental walls up as high as he could. He’d had the training – he could keep an angel out of his head if he really wanted to. But he let Gabriel in there for the sake of privacy. Whatever he had to say, he didn’t want to say it where everyone could hear.  ‘I’m sorry about this, but I didn’t want to say this out loud’ Gabriel’s mind voice was low and soothing, like the soft strum of music, resonating throughout Spencer's mind. ‘I know I can’t heal her in front of everyone, but if I don’t do some healing she’s not going to make it. Her husband’s fine but she’s bleeding internally. If you can keep the shirt over my hands to hide the glow I can give her just enough healing to make sure she’ll make it to the hospital. From there, it’ll be in the doctors’ hands.’

‘Do it’ Spencer thought back quickly. There was no hesitation on his part. He let the edge of the shirt move and felt Gabriel’s hands slip underneath. The warmth of grace was easy for him to feel even through the shirt. It worked to keep the light hidden, though. A second later it was gone and Gabriel was drawing his hands back. “I don’t think it’s too deep.” He said out loud, for everyone else’s benefit. “If we keep pressure on it, she should be able to hold on.”

“She’s made it this far.” JJ said, stroking back the hair of the now unconscious woman.

What came next was a flurry of action that took away any more chance to talk. The medics arrived and everyone’s focus was on getting their victims out of there.

By the time it was done and the two were gone, the crime scene units had arrived and were prepared to start taking a look around the place and gathering as much evidence as possible. Spencer let himself get guided outside by Derek. “Quick thinking there, kid. You might’ve saved her life.” Derek praised him.

Spencer snuck a glance over at Gabriel. Quick thinking indeed. Though his walls were back in place and Gabriel’s presence gone from his mind, Spencer shared a look with the archangel that he knew conveyed all his thanks. The smile he got in return made that clear.

Together, the team left the horrors of the cabin behind.

Chapter Text

It took a full day before the BAU wrapped up everything enough to be able to go home. They had a confession, mounds of evidence – pretty much everything the PD needed wrapped up nice and neat for them. Spencer was more than happy to close the files on this case and so was the rest of his team. What made it all even better was the phone called that Spencer had received, letting him know that both victims had survived their trip to the hospital. They were going to have to go through a lot of therapy, and there’d be a lot of pain in their future, but they’d made it. They were alive.

Spencer held that thought to himself as he tucked himself away into the back corner of the plane. At the moment he just really wanted the quiet. The others were gathered together and talking up by the couches. He could hear them asking Gabriel about how the first case went, how it was different from what he was used to, complimenting him on a job well done. Spencer wasn’t going to join in but he wasn’t going to interrupt, either. Gabriel had done well. He’d worked well within the limitations presented to him. Not only had he used his powers, he’d made an effort to do so without being noticed, and he’d even kept in mind the future ramifications of some of his power usage. Seeing it made Spencer a bit more confident in their ability to make things work.

Strange as all this may seem – this idea of an archangel learning about human justice from a group of humans in law enforcement – it was starting to look like maybe it was going to work out. At least a little. Maybe between them Spencer and his friends might be able to find a way to show Gabriel what they all thought of as justice. To help remind him of whatever it was he’d forgotten.

There were quite a few things about Gabriel’s words and behavior that raised questions in Spencer's mind. He held them back, though. So far there hadn’t been the time or the right opportunity to ask some of them. Others, he didn’t know Gabriel well enough to ask. Others still he knew he was going to have to wait and watch and see.

Something big had happened to the archangel. Of that, Spencer was sure. He could see it in the way that Gabriel’s smile faded sometimes when he thought no one was looking. Or the shadows that sat in the backs of his eyes. There was just this air about him that Spencer had seen on many people before. It was one that spoke of pain and loss. One that said the person was recovering slowly, if at all, fighting to hold their head above water. Spencer could see it in the way Gabriel squared his shoulders sometimes like he was trying to balance some sort of weight there. Or how he’d look at the others goofing around and he’d smile sadly at them. Something or someone had hurt him. Spencer just wasn’t sure what.

His musings on their visiting archangel were cut off when said archangel looked up and happened to catch his gaze. A slow smile touched his lips and Spencer had to fight not to blush as he dropped his gaze now. He hadn’t meant to get caught staring.

Spencer wasn’t all that surprised when he heard footsteps only a moment later. He snuck a look up through his bangs and watched as Gabriel slipped down into the seat across from him. Over Gabriel’s shoulder Spencer could see the rest of the team still talking together. JJ was casting curious looks down their way, though. Spencer knew the others were probably doing the same – they were just a bit more subtle. JJ was more open in her concern for Spencer. All of them knew he wasn’t the type to socialize and he didn’t often like dealing with someone new. Yet he and Gabriel had spent quite a bit of time together on this case and now, when Spencer had clearly gone to the back of the jet in a gesture the others all knew meant he wanted to be alone, Gabriel had come to join him again. It was bound to make them worry a little.

He wasn’t the only one to notice it, either. Gabriel huffed out a little laugh and smiled. “Your friends are awfully concerned for you. I’m trying not to pick up on their thoughts but some of them are projecting a little loudly. Apparently I’m breaking some little rule by coming back here to bug you?”

“I like to decompress after a case sometimes.” Spencer said. He knew it wasn’t quite an explanation but it was close enough. There was no need to tell Gabriel about how strong his memory was and how much trouble it gave him after cases sometimes. He’d probably learn soon enough. If Spencer didn’t tell him, Derek or JJ might in their efforts to warn him to ‘be careful with Spencer’ after a case.

Gabriel’s smile grew and those little lines at the corners of his eyes deepened. “Somehow I got the feeling you wouldn’t mind the interruption.” When that just made Spencer finally lose the battle with his blush, Gabriel laughed again. Somehow the sound he made didn’t make Spencer feel like he was being mocked. It was just warm and easy. “You’re too adorable there, kiddo. Really. It’s not fair.” Sighing, Gabriel shook his head, though his smile never completely faded. “Anyways. As much fun as it is to make you blush, that’s not why I came back here. I figured you’d probably have a lot of questions after that case and the office or this fancy jet of yours aren’t the best place to ask them. Why don’t we go grab some dinner once we land and I’ll answer what I can for you.”

“Seriously?”

The slight squeak in Spencer's voice, the one that showed his honest surprise, had Gabriel snorting even though he was nice enough to at least attempt to cover it up. Spencer watched as Gabriel pulled a Twix bar out of the inside of his jacket and busied himself with opening it. “Of course.” Once he had the end opened, he tilted the wrapper towards Spencer and pressed at the bottom, pushing one of the candy bars up just enough it stuck out of the top of the package. Spencer only debated a second before reaching out and taking it. Gabriel smiled at him like Spencer actually accepting his candy was some big deal. Then he brought the package back and slid up the other candy bar so he could bite off the end.

For a moment the two just ate their candy as Spencer contemplated his answer. Going with Gabriel would mean that he might be able to get answers to some of his questions. However, it probably also meant having to answer questions as well.

Eventually Spencer's need-to-know outweighed his need-to-hide. “I’d like that.”

Gabriel’s face practically lit up at that. He sat up a little straighter and a tension Spencer hadn’t realized was in him now seemed to melt away. “Anywhere you’d recommend?”

“The Pearl has great pasta and enough privacy for their tables we’re less likely to be overheard when we talk.”

“It’s a date.” Gabriel winked at him and pushed up from his seat until he was standing beside the table. “See ya then, gorgeous.” With that last, flirtatious comment, the archangel turned and went back to join the others, leaving Spencer blushing and wondering how on earth their conversation had turned around that quickly.

Once they disembarked the jet, Spencer knew the instant Gabriel started to steer him towards that flashy red car that he was going to get some teasing from his friends later. Probably some probing questions as well if the look that Derek shot him was anything to go by. Gabriel, however, didn’t seem the least bit bothered by any of it. He lifted a hand in a wave while placing his other hand in the small of Spencer's back to steer him towards where he’d parked his car. “We’ll see you guys tomorrow!” Gabriel called out.

Spencer watched the looks pass between his friends and tried not to groan. “You do realize what they’re going to think now, don’t you?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

The faux innocent voice had Spencer narrowing his eyes. All that look got him was a grin and an eyebrow wiggle. Ignoring Spencer's glare, Gabriel walked right up to the car, not even seeming to think about it as he led Spencer to the passenger’s side door and actually opened it up for him. Spencer might’ve said something about it if it looked like this was a part of Gabriel’s teasing. However, this seemed to be genuine. Like he did it without even thinking about it. That was the only reason that Spencer kept quiet as he slid down into the car. It had nothing to do with the little warm feeling in the pit of his stomach.

The car ride to the restaurant was awkward and just a bit uncomfortable. The promise of conversation lay between them and Spencer's brain was running over everything he knew about Gabriel so far and all the things he wanted to find out. All the questions that had come up during this case. All the things that he'd seen or that Gabriel had said that just didn't make sense. Those were all playing back in Spencer's mind and bringing up more and more questions. Yet at the same time there sat in him the fear that asking Gabriel questions and getting answers would mean that the archangel was going to ask him questions and expect answers. Answers Spencer still wasn't sure he was going to be able to give.

Still, despite what Spencer's team might've thought, he did know how to keep his thoughts hidden when he had to and that was a skill he employed now. He put on a mask and made sure his mental shields were as strong as he could make them, once again finding himself thanking the ones who had taught him that ability. Nothing of what he felt inside was showing on the outside. It wasn't easy for him. Too often he'd been told he wore his heart on his sleeve. But he kept himself under control now as he gave Gabriel directions and even as they arrived at the restaurant.

The man who greeted them smiled when he caught sight of Spencer. He stepped out from the stand and waited there as Spencer and Gabriel came up to him. Though his smile was professional, it was also warm. “Buona sera, Signor Reid.” Philip greeted him. This wasn't the first time that Spencer had come to this restaurant. Usually this was where he and David liked to eat when they went out. Here, they could talk and have dinner together without being under the spotlight. There were plenty of important people in DC who came here to do the same thing. This place granted privacy, for a price – one that Spencer had always been willing to pay.

“Buona sera, Philip.” Spencer smiled and slid his hands down into his pockets.

“Just the two of you this evening, signor?”

“Yes. At the usual table, if you please, Philip.”

It wasn't until the two were seated at a private booth that Spencer finally looked up and caught Gabriel's face. He found the archangel only barely trying to suppress his smile, though his eyes were alight with amusement. “If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to charm me, Dr. Reid.” Gabriel adjusted in his seat just enough to slide his jacket off and lay it next to him. Then he folded his arms on the table and leaned forward just a little. He, like Spencer, was yet again in a button up shirt, though this time his was black, a startlingly good choice that only served to really highlight the lighter color of his hair. In the low light of the restaurant his eyes looked like melted honey as they fixed on Spencer. “You bring all your dates here, big boy, or am I just special?”

Dammit. Spencer's cheeks were burning with his blush and he absolutely loathed it. How on earth was it that Gabriel drew this reaction out of him so frequently in the past few days? It was pathetic! Clearing his throat, Spencer tried to find some kind of composure. “I usually bring David here.” Not dates. Never that. The last time Spencer had gone on a date... he quickly shut that thought down. That wasn't something he really wanted to be thinking about right at the moment.

“Do you?” Gabriel looked around, taking in the place they were in, looking over it all before bringing his eyes back to Spencer. “I guess I can see that. It's private enough here. Though you're ruining all my fantasies by being practical, kiddo.”

“I'm sure you'll recover.” Spencer said dryly, fiddling with his menu in an attempt to distract himself from looking up.

Even so, he still heard the grin in Gabriel's voice. “It's like you know me so well already.”

That was the perfect opening. Spencer lifted his eyes and met Gabriel's across the table. “Not as well as I thought.” He licked his lips and tilted his head a little, raising one eyebrow in a mockery of the look Gabriel kept giving to him. “Loki?”

He was a bit surprised to see the grin that spread over Gabriel's features. “Yeah, I should've figured that'd be your first question.”

The two were interrupted by the waiter coming to take their order. Spencer ordered without looking at the menu – he knew this place and knew what was on the menu by heart. Gabriel folded his menu down and held it out to Spencer, a corner of his mouth quirked up in that amused expression Spencer was starting to think was almost his default setting. “I'll defer to your tastes, kiddo. Show me what's good here.”

Spencer only had to think for a moment before he rattled off another order. The colorful and slightly spiced pasta he'd picked for Gabriel was something that Spencer enjoyed on occasion and that he thought the archangel might like.

Once their orders were taken and the waiter gone, Gabriel focused right back on their conversation as if they'd never been interrupted. “So, I imagine you're a bit curious as to how an archangel turned into a trickster.”

“You could say that.” Spencer agreed. In opposite of Gabriel, he sat back in his seat, distancing himself just a little.

It didn't deter Gabriel. He was once more leaning forward on his arms, though he kept one hand a bit free to wave it as he spoke. He did that a lot, Spencer had noticed. “If you've met angels or been alive anywhere near as long as I think you have, then you probably know the various stories about my brothers. You might even have gotten the picture that angels aren't exactly made of sunshine and roses like most humans seem to think they are.”

In the back of Spencer's mind came the memory of a bright flash of light and the feel of something ice cold washing through every inch of his body. He held back a shiver. “Yes, I've noticed.”

“The War with Lucifer wasn’t easy on anyone up there, but it was especially hard on us archangels. We were the closest, you know? The first. Having to fight, to try and play mediator, to get caught in the middle of all that…” Gabriel’s eyes closed for a second. Seeing the loss on his face, Spencer had to fight back the urge to reach across the table and take his hand. Instead, he waited patiently, giving Gabriel a moment to gather himself. It only took a minute. Gabriel opened his eyes again and blew out a breath Spencer knew he didn’t need. Then he looked back at Spencer again. “I got tired of all the fighting. It broke me in ways I wasn’t ready to admit to. So, I ran away from home. It took me a little bit and a few favors before I finally managed to get some help to make this vessel here.” He drew a hand in and patted his chest, looking proud of his work. “It was easier this way. No soul in here to argue with and a hell of a lot harder to track. Then, I made myself a new identity. I became Loki. A few hundred years and my name was being bandied about with the rest of the gods in Asgard. A bit longer and humans had started to make up myths about me as well. It wasn't that difficult for me to make myself a home there. Odin and Freya took me in and they gave me a home and family.”

That was… wow. That was a lot to take in. Spencer knew he was staring but he couldn’t quite help it. Shyness was forgotten in the face of new information. One thing stuck about above all else at the moment, though. “If you’re hiding out down here as Loki, why are you telling me all this? I don’t mean to sound ungrateful or rude, it just seems counterproductive to me.”

“Yeah, well, let’s just say my secret’s not a secret anymore.” Something dark and a bit bitter twisted Gabriel’s lips and darkened his eyes. “The apocalypse can do that to you.”

Realization washed over Spencer. That definitely made things make a bit more sense. Pretty much everyone in the supernatural community knew about the apocalypse that had been started and somehow, amazingly, stopped. Hearing that Gabriel had been involved in it brought of plenty of new questions. However, Spencer was smart enough to hold those back. Gabriel was revealing plenty enough tonight. There was no way he was going to push him on that topic. Talking about the apocalypse would undoubtedly be hard for him. Especially judging by the way he’d reacted at just the mention of it. Spencer had no doubt plenty of his family had died in that war – and a war it had been, Spencer knew, even if most of the world didn’t quite realize it.

The darkness that he could still see in Gabriel’s eyes made his stomach twist a little. He didn’t question why it bothered him so much to see the archangel upset or hurting. Instead, he focused on distracting him. He pushed himself forward until he could fold his arms on the table as well and he smiled at Gabriel. “So, if you’re actually Loki, I’ve got to ask – how many of the legends are actually true?”

His question had the desired effect. Gabriel was much more comfortable discussing his years as Loki than anything else. The tales he told of practical jokes, of dealing out just desserts, and then of his kids – Gabriel had no shame in speaking of them, proudly telling tale after tale – carried them through the arrival of their food and pretty much all of their dinner.

It wasn’t until the dinner plates had been taken away and their dessert ordered that the part of the night Spencer had been dreading finally came upon them.

Gabriel didn’t even try beating around the bush. He took a drink off his wine and then set the glass down on the table. “So, Half-Pint, I’ve shared a lot here. What’s your story?”

What was he going to do now? Spencer had been having such a good time listening to Gabriel’s stories, laughing in a way he couldn’t remember doing for such a long time, that he’d almost forgotten about the potential of this. About the flip side of all this information. It was obvious Gabriel wanted information of his own now. Scrambling to think of what to say or what to do, Spencer picked at something else instead, hoping to distract just long enough for him to come up with some kind of answer. “Half-Pint, really? If you’ll recall, I am the taller of us.”

“I just call it like I see it.” Gabriel teased him. “You might be taller, kid, but you’re about as big as a twig.” He placed his elbows on the tables and settled his chin down against his interlaced hands, smiling at Spencer. “So, what gives? I still haven’t been able to figure you out. How is it you’re still as gorgeous as the day I met you over fifty years ago?”

“It’s a long story.”

“I get the feeling the one thing you and I both got plenty of is time.”

Spencer picked up his wine glass and hid behind it for a moment. He wanted to tell – truly, he did. But there was a large part of him that was utterly terrified at the idea. “Telling my story… hasn’t really gone all that well for me in the past. Especially not to angels.” A shiver ran down Spencer's spine and his hand clenched briefly on his glass before he managed to relax it.

Surprise lit Gabriel’s eyes. “You’ve talked with other angels?”

“A few. I was only stupid enough to tell the truth to one, and to hint to the truth with another. Their reactions were… less than pleasant.” That was a vast understatement. Spencer remembered the feel of that invisible force holding him down. The light of grace burning inside of him as it wrapped around his soul with absolutely no finesse. The cold, clinical way that he’d been studied, like he was a fascinating puzzle, not a living, breathing human being. He remembered the pain and the way his voice had been taken so that he wouldn’t be able to scream.

Gabriel was watching Spencer carefully. There was no telling what he saw on Spencer's face. Whatever it was, it had his own expression tightening briefly before softening into something that was startlingly gentle. “Guess I’ll have to prove you can trust me, first. That’s fine.” His lips curved up until little wrinkles appeared at the corners of his eyes. “I love a challenge.”

Spencer bit the inside of his lip and looked up through his lashes to his dinner companion. “Why do I suddenly feel very, very nervous?”

The sound of Gabriel’s low laugh sent a different kind of chill down Spencer's spine, washing away the fear of the last and leaving something much more pleasant in its wake. That feeling only grew when Gabriel winked at him “Cause you’re a smart boy, Dr. Spencer Reid.”

Much to Spencer's surprise, that was all the archangel had to say about that. Gabriel didn’t push anymore on Spencer's past. He did, however, ask about things that he already knew about. Namely Dave. “Isn’t it hard for the two of you to work together when no one knows the truth about you?” Gabriel asked him, sitting back as he noticed their waiter coming forward.

Spencer shrugged one shoulder. “It can be.” He paused, waiting as their server set out a big bowl of some chocolate mousse concoction that Spencer knew Gabriel was going to enjoy way too much and then a glass of zabaione over fresh fruit was set in front of him, still warm just as he liked it – meaning that it was nice and fresh – and with a biscotti tucked into the side. It was one of his favorite reasons for coming here. The chef actually knew how to make the dessert right and didn’t mass make it and chill it like most places did. Spencer picked up his spoon an happily took his first bite while he waited for the server to leave again. Only when he was sure he was far enough away, and the both of them were happily enjoying their desserts, did Spencer speak again. “David and I talked quite a bit about things with the Bureau. He joined first, long before I did. He’s the whole reason that I decided to join to begin with. The things he did, working with Gideon to help make the BAU into what it is now – it was amazing. I was so proud of him.”

“You’ve got a lot to be proud of. He’s an amazing kid.” Gabriel said sincerely.

Spencer couldn’t help but puff up just the slightest bit at that. Of all the many things that he’d done in his life, David was one of the things he was most proud of. “I can’t take all the credit for him. I’ve had plenty of help with him over the years. But more than that, he’s an amazing person all on his own, even without my help. He’s done great things in his life.” Stirring his food a little, Spencer smiled softly. Thinking of the boy he’d raised always made him smile. He felt nothing but pride for his David. “When he left the BAU after a bad case, he needed some time to heal and I completely understood that. But he’d captured my attention so much with his work over the years. He was the one to suggest I join, you know.”

“Really?”

“Oh yes.” The memory of that conversation made Spencer laugh a little. “He told me that I needed to find something to do with my days, something different than just drifting. So I talked to some people who owed me favors and I talked with some very close friends of mine and we got a backstory set up for me, nice and neat. And I set myself in the path of one Jason Gideon, who eagerly recruited me for the BAU. David didn’t join again until Gideon left us a few years later.”

Gabriel made a happy humming sound as he cleaned some of the mousse off his spoon in a way that was a bit too obscene for public. He either didn’t notice the way it made Spencer shift, or he didn’t care. Still, Spencer was grateful when he pulled the spoon out. “And you two didn’t, I don’t know, think that maybe pretending to be family of some sort might be a good idea? I mean, from what I’m getting from the others, no one realizes you two even knew each other before this.”

“It’s safer this way.” He and Dave had discussed it plenty of times and they’d both come to the same conclusion. “Family is always someone that can be used against you. The type of people we come across in our line of work, well, it puts those closest to you at risk. Sometimes there are Unsubs who will come after your family if they can’t get to you.” Memories of the Reaper and the devastation he’d caused Aaron’s family came to mind. Spencer shoved them down. “I have enemies of my own as well. Plus, well… if something happens, if my secret comes out and there’s trouble, at least there’s nothing more than the bond of teammates that links David to me. This keeps him safe.”

The intensity in Spencer's tone had Gabriel pausing in his dessert long enough to look at him. Spencer watched as the archangel’s expression smoothed out and thin lips curved into a small smile that seemed both sweet and genuine. “Don’t worry, Half-Pint. Your secret’s safe with me.”

“I’m beginning to believe that.” Spencer admitted honestly, before he could think about it. It scared him, but it was true.

It scared him even more just how much it warmed him to see the smile that his words caused. I’m in so much trouble.

That thought didn’t leave Spencer alone for the rest of the night. It stuck with him through the rest of their dessert and even as Spencer rode the bus home – something that Gabriel had protested loudly to. The archangel hadn’t at all been pleased at the idea of Spencer going home on the bus instead of riding with him. But Spencer was used to dealing with stubborn people. He’d done it quite a few times. So instead of arguing with Gabriel as others might’ve done, Spencer had simply bid him a good night and then turned to walk away and catch his bus.

All through the bus ride back to his apartment his thoughts kept twisting and turning all over the place. All the things he’d learned about Gabriel tonight, the things that he’d shared. The way it had made him feel to sit there at the table and actually share some of those stories. To be able to talk about David and not have to censor it. For the span of a meal Spencer had been able to be more himself than he had been with anyone but David for a long, long time.

It scared the hell out of him.

The last time Spencer had relaxed this quickly and this easily around someone – those memories put a lump in his throat.

Just barely did he manage to keep himself under control long enough to get to his apartment. As soon as he was inside he dropped his go-bag off against the wall to be emptied later on so he could wash the dirty clothes inside. Then he turned and shut the door behind him, flipping the lock. The sound of it echoed loudly through his cold and empty apartment.

Thinking of just how empty it truly was had Spencer sighing. Closing his eyes, he pressed his forehead against the shut door and let out a shaky breath.

Everything that he’d been avoiding thinking about refused to be pushed aside anymore. The memories flooded him. Memories of a different man – a different time. It was so easy for Spencer to close his eyes and see that face again, the one that he knew he’d never forget. To hear that soft laugh, see the wonder in those chocolate eyes as they watched him with awe, like he never could quite believe that Spencer was really there. That he actually cared. “Why are you doing this?” he’d asked Spencer more than once.

Spencer could remember reaching out to tuck a bit of hair behind his ear – those crazy brown curls, always flying everywhere – and telling him simply “Your smile.”

“My smile? You’re doing all this, paying all this money, for a smile?”

“I would see that smile always, Julian.”

Tears slid down Spencer's cheeks, burning hot trails against his skin. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter and tried not to let the memories consume him.

This – this was why he didn’t get close. This was why he made a point to not get attached. He’d lived for so long, loved so many, and the loss of them never got any easier. It still broke parts of him each time. Getting close to the team, that had been a huge mistake, one that he’d pay for later on. Losing them was going to hurt. Losing David – that was going to break him. Spencer knew it was going to take him a long, long time to recover from their loss.

But something in him told him that getting attached to Gabriel would be so much worse. If he let himself get close, if he let himself care about the archangel the way he could already envision happening, well, Spencer had a feeling it would destroy him. He couldn’t handle another loss like that. And it would happen, too. Gabriel might be an archangel, he might be sturdier fare than anyone else Spencer had come across during his existence, but that didn’t make him truly immortal. There were things out there that could kill him. One day, he’d die. It might take a year or hundreds of years. Either way, it’d happen. And the longer they were together, the longer that he lived, the more Spencer knew it’d trick him into believing that they’d be okay, and the more it would destroy him when Gabriel was finally gone.

Working with him and becoming friends was going to be hard enough. Anything more than that, Spencer just couldn’t do it. Not again. He had to hold on to the hope that Gabriel would learn whatever he was hoping to learn and then he could vanish before Spencer got too attached. Before he began to care too much.

Spencer was terrified that it was already too late.

Chapter Text

With the two days off that Aaron got them after the last case, it was easy for Spencer to seclude himself away in his apartment. Too many things had happened lately and he needed the time to hide away and get it all settled in his mind. He needed just to be away. His hope was that taking the time away would help him to get his feelings under control before they got him into any real trouble. What he was already feeling, it was bad enough. Spencer knew he needed to get the rest under control before he saw Gabriel again.

Unfortunately, work never waited. There was only a day of peace before another case came their way. It was the morning of their second day off that Spencer got the call to come in to work. He was far too used to it to do more than sigh in annoyance once he’d hung up the phone. So much for personal time.

The idea of seeing Gabriel again after their dinner the other night left Spencer feeling more nervous than normal as he made his way into the BAU.

He'd managed to convince Derek not to come and get him on his way to work, for which he was grateful. He knew his friend would've recognized that something was off almost immediately and started to grill him. But Spencer had also known that refusing the ride would mean he was going to be ambushed almost the instant he got to work. As much as he could he tried to prepare himself for that.

Someone up above was smiling down on him, though. Because when Spencer walked in, the team was already gathering in the conference room, which meant that there was no one there to bombard him and question him as he made his way through the bullpen and over to the stairs.

When he got up to the conference room he found that almost everyone except Dave was there. Emily and JJ were sitting side by side at the table, telling some sort of story to Derek and Gabriel, both of whom were grinning broadly, while over to the side Aaron was talking lowly with Penelope.

Spencer's eyes went straight to Gabriel despite his best intentions otherwise. It was hard not to look at him. He was leaning back a little in his chair, one leg crossed over the other, and twirling the stick of the sucker that he had in his mouth. He was dressed business casual, with jeans and a plain blue shirt, like he'd come straight here from hanging out somewhere, and his leather jacket was hanging off the back of his chair. He wasn't dressed special or anything like that. So why on earth did Spencer get the urge to lick his lips at just the sight of him?

Everyone looked up as Spencer came into the room. JJ's smile was as warm as it always was for him. She was closest and didn't hesitate to reach a hand out for him, her fingers wrapping briefly around his own. “Hey, Spence. You look like we woke you up.”

“No, not at all.” Spencer reassured her. He pulled the strap of his bag over his head and set it down on the ground before he slipped down into the seat next to her. “I was just caught up in a few things, that's all.” More like caught up in his thoughts. Spencer's gaze flicked up and over to where Gabriel was sitting, only to find that those amber eyes were already on him, watching him with a look of curiosity. Spencer tried not to flush as he brought his gaze back to JJ. He offered her a small smile. “I'm fine, JJ. But thank you.”

She smiled back at him. “Of course.”

Over to the side, Spencer could see as Aaron and Penelope finished whatever it was they were talking about. Aaron was making his way over to join them at the table and Penelope was moving to the spot she always took where she could lay out the case for them. Everyone but Dave was here and Spencer knew that Aaron would start things without him and just catch the man up later if he had to. Especially if the case was urgent.

That didn't prove necessary, though. Even as Spencer was wondering where Dave was, he heard the sound of footsteps and they all turned to look as Dave hurried in. “Hey, I'm sorry I’m late.” Dave apologized almost immediately. He went right up to the chair by Derek and sat himself down. “I got hung up with something. What do we got?”

“Child abduction in St. Louis.” Aaron answered him.

His words were enough to immediately grab the attention of every single person in the room. Spencer's eyes shot to their unit chief with surprise. Usually child abductions were something that they didn't waste any time on. Why hadn't Aaron been briefing them from the minute they came in?

It was Penelope who started to lay out the case for them, telling them the details even as she brought images up on the screen behind her. “Yeah, uh, Bobby Smith, nine years old, vanished 48 hours ago from a residential area where his mother, Marlene Smith, claims to have dropped him off.”

“48 hours, we're just learning about it now?" Derek asked incredulously.

Penelope grimaced even as she nodded. “Yeah, that's cause Mom didn't know her son was gone. She assumed that he was with the grandmother and just left him there.”

“So, she's not exactly on a short list for Mother of the Year.” JJ said.

Emily looked up from the information in front of her. “What about the father?”

“Uh, he was convicted of embezzling from his workplace two years ago. Currently cooling his heels in state prison.”

A snort slipped from Gabriel. “What a charming set of parents.”

That was putting it mildly. It never failed to infuriate Spencer to see how people treated their children. Didn’t they realize what a blessing they were? Even though he’d studied human behavior and knew all the reasons that parents could act like this – could simply drop a child off and not even bother to check that an adult was there to watch them – it didn’t mean that he really understood it. He snuck a glance over at Dave and wanted to shake his head. He couldn’t picture having to do that with him. The idea of dumping a young David off somewhere and not even bothering to make sure the adult was there, not going with him and making absolutely sure that his boy was passed from him directly to the next adult, Spencer couldn’t even fathom it.

He pushed away those thoughts and made himself focus on the case in front of him. This, despite the parental neglect, wasn’t screaming family to him. “If it's a stranger abduction, the first twenty four hours are critical. This kid's already been missing twice that long.”

“Which is why we shouldn't waste any more time.” Aaron said, already moving to stand up. “Let's go.”

Everyone hurried to get their things together and rush out of the room. Spencer took advantage of it all to very neatly avoid Gabriel, using JJ and Emily as a shield. But he also used it all to slip over by Dave, who was one of the last to push up from his chair. Spencer tilted his head as he looked over the man he’d raised and read the signs of something more than just a busy morning written on his face. Spencer waited until the others were just a bit ahead, only Gabriel close enough to potentially hear something, before he quietly asked, “Everything alright, Rossi?”

Dave smiled crookedly at Spencer. “I’m fine.”

“You know – usually, you’re a much better liar.”

A laugh bubbled up from Dave that had Spencer's lips twitching. The two fell into step beside one another as they made their way out of the conference room. Spencer stayed quiet, giving Dave the chance to speak or not. He wasn’t going to push him into talking if he wasn’t ready. But it was obvious that something was going on and Spencer could easily admit to being curious about it.

They were halfway across the bullpen, the rest of the team already out the glass doors, when Dave finally did speak. “I had breakfast with Carolyn this morning.”

Spencer waited patiently, not sure where this was going. He knew who Carolyn was – Dave’s first wife – and he knew that the two had stayed friends after their divorce. They talked periodically and even met on occasion when life permitted. A lunch here, a dinner there. They’d managed to stay friends even through a divorce. So the fact that they’d had breakfast together wasn’t that big of a deal. What about it had Dave so off set?

“She wants to talk to me when the case is done.” Dave said, pausing for a second as he reached to open the glass door. Ahead of them, no one except for Aaron seemed to have looked back and seen them. No one was watching as Dave hesitated and snuck a look over at Spencer, his eyes guarded. “I get the feeling it’s not just to play catch up, either.”

Oh, well then. Spencer felt his eyebrows go up with open surprise. The way that Dave was looking, the nervousness, the way his finger tapped on the glass of the door even as he finally gave in and started to pull it open, all of that showed Spencer just how out of sorts this had him. It also made it pretty clear what Dave thought might be happening here.

They didn’t have any more time to discuss it, though. The elevator had arrived and they had to hurry forward to join their team. However, Spencer made note of this in the back of his mind, promising himself that he’d talk to Dave once the case was done.

The case kept all of them busy as they fought to find not just one, but multiple missing children. This was the type of case that was never easy. Anything that involved kids was always hard. The idea that anyone would do anything to hurt children was something that Spencer had never understood no matter how many times he'd seen it.

Working the case while also trying to avoid Gabriel only made things all the harder.

Spencer couldn’t explain even to himself why he was avoiding the archangel so much. They'd had a great dinner, despite the personal revelations that Spencer had gone through. Just because he could see himself caring too much for the man didn't mean that he couldn't or shouldn't talk to him at all. That wasn't fair, it wasn't right, and it'd only serve to make the team suspicious. Especially after how much the two had worked together on the last case. Spencer knew all of that and yet it didn't stop him from working extra hard to make sure that he wasn't the one that was paired up with Gabriel this time around.

He knew Gabriel noticed something was up. The looks that Spencer kept getting were testament to that. But the archangel restrained himself while they were on the case. He didn’t come up to say anything to Spencer about it. Not until the case was done.

The case ended on a good note for them. They caught their Unsub, rescued the child, and saved another mother and child. The case hadn't been solved without losses, but the children were all right and that was what Spencer focused on. The children were safe.

Spencer was grateful for what they'd managed to do. Still, as he settled himself down into a seat at the very back of the jet, away from the others, he couldn't help but move his thoughts from these children to his own. It wasn't hard for him to see that Dave was really worrying about this thing with Carolyn. He was seated away from the others as well, though he hadn't joined Spencer, and the look on his face was pensive as he stared down at his phone and tapped a finger against the side of it, obviously lost in thought.

So caught up with staring at Dave, Spencer didn't notice anyone coming until suddenly Gabriel dropped right down into the seat across from him. The move startled Spencer, making him jump and snapping his eyes away from Dave and right to the archangel. He found Gabriel grinning at him. Amusement at having startled him had his lips curved up and a twinkle of mischievousness in his eyes that had Spencer fighting a smile of his own. He licked his lips and forced them not to curve upwards. Instead, he lifted both eyebrows and folded his hands down in his lap, trying to project calm and control. “Can I help you, Gabriel?”

“Did I do something to piss you off?”

The blunt question threw Spencer for a loop. “What? No! What're you talking about?”

Gabriel folded his arms on the table between them and leaned forward. His smile had faded and his expression was both open and intent, fixed right on Spencer. “I mean, I thought we sort of cleared the air between us when I first showed up here, and then at dinner the other night you seemed all right. But you've been giving me the cold shoulder ever since we came in for this case here, kiddo, and I'm not quite sure what I did.”

“I wasn't...” Spencer struggled to find the words, to be able to deny that he'd been doing exactly that. At Gabriel's disbelieving look, Spencer sighed. He lifted one hand from his lap and brushed a bit of hair back from his face. All right. So it looked like Gabriel wasn't going to let this go. The idea of him thinking that he’d done something, that he’d pissed Spencer off somehow, bothered Spencer more than he cared to admit to. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Gabriel.” Spencer licked his lips and made the mistake of meeting Gabriel’s gaze. As soon as he locked eyes with him, the lies that he’d been trying to build all faded away. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t lie to him. Instead, what came out of his mouth was far more honesty than he’d intended. “You didn’t, Gabriel, I promise.  In all honesty, you’re a nice and enjoyable person. I could like you very easily. But I… I don’t want to.”

He watched as Gabriel jerked back a little like he’d been slapped. It only lasted for a second before a mask covered Gabriel’s features and his lip curled up a little in a slight sneer. “Geeze kiddo, just tell it like it is why don’t you.”

Spencer winced. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be rude.”

“Can I ask why? Or is that off limits too?”

The edge of bitterness to those words made Spencer want to cringe. He’d been keeping so much of himself secret from Gabriel even though Gabriel had shared what Spencer knew was quite a lot of big information with him. So far the archangel seemed to be showing a surprising amount of honesty when he spoke with Spencer. Could it hurt to give him a little honesty in return? Spencer licked his lips and ducked his head down, his eyes dropping down to where his hands were clenched in his lap. “It’ll hurt less when you leave if I don’t allow myself to get attached to you.” He said softly. “It’s rude, yes, and extremely selfish, but it’s the truth.”

He didn’t look up – didn’t want to see what sort of look was on Gabriel’s face. Hearing the hint of shock to his tone was bad enough, telling him that his answer hadn’t been at all what Gabriel had thought he’d say. “Who says I’m leaving?”

Keeping his eyes down, Spencer shrugged one shoulder. “Everyone does.” He said it like the simple, honest truth that it was. It was just a fact of life. No matter what anyone’s intentions were, they all left in the end. Every last one of them. Even Dave would one day. Spencer had resigned himself to it. However, that didn’t make it hurt any less.

“You think I’m just gonna bail?” Gabriel asked. Hurt lay heavy over his voice and it had Spencer's gaze shooting up. He found Gabriel staring at him with raised eyebrows and features that had gone just a bit tight. The rest of his body was tense as well, one hand curled tightly around the other in a gesture that was probably supposed to hide the tension even if it failed miserably. “Nice, kid. Real good to see what you think of me. Did you ever think that maybe I’m tired of running away? Maybe I like what I’m finding here.” There was bitterness now, and temper, a defense against the hurt that he was feeling.

It was the tone more than the words even that made Spencer realize how Gabriel had taken what he’d said. As it clicked in Spencer's head, he felt his eyes go wide and his mouth dropped open for a split second before he was hurrying to speak, words tripping over themselves in his haste to get them out even as he fought to keep them quiet enough that the others wouldn’t hear. “No, no, that’s not what I meant! I wasn’t implying that you’d run, Gabriel.”

“Then what’d you mean?”

How long was Spencer going to keep holding in his secret? It was stupid, he knew, to be so closemouthed about it. Gabriel already knew that Spencer lived longer than the average person. He knew that Spencer looked the same now as he had fifty years ago. Was it really that big of a deal for Spencer to finally explain some part of all this to him? To give him at least something? Spencer unclenched his hands so that they were spread out against his pant legs and tried to distract himself with the feel of it under his hands. It didn’t work, but it did steady him a little bit. Enough that his voice didn’t tremble when he spoke. “Every person, being, or creature out there is capable of being killed somehow. They might get brought back – maybe. It’s not a guarantee.” Drawing in a shaky breath, Spencer made himself look at Gabriel’s eyes. His voice was soft, pitched low so as to stay just between the two of them. “One of these days, Gabriel, you’re going to die. You’ll leave – just like everyone else will. You don’t get a choice in that. But I won’t.”

It was easy to see when Gabriel realized just how serious Spencer was. “You, don’t die.” Gabriel repeated slowly, the look in his eyes so much more intense all of a sudden, and locked right on Spencer, not even blinking.

Spencer bit the inside of his lip. “Yes and no. I die. I just – don’t stay that way.” Instead of dwelling on that the way it was clear Gabriel wanted, Spencer quickly moved on, keeping them on topic. “So, you can see why I don’t, I don’t want to get attached. The family I’ve made for myself here, it’s going to be hard enough when I lose them. With you – it’d be too easy with you, Gabriel. Too easy to convince myself that an archangel is surely sturdier fare than the average mortal. And in the end, it’d make it hurt all the more once you were gone. So I just, I can’t. I’m sorry.”

Without waiting for Gabriel to say anything, Spencer pushed up from his seat and tried with everything he had to keep his composure as he made his way down the jet towards the small kitchen.

He tried to bury himself in the act of making a cup of coffee. Unfortunately, his hands were shaking so much he almost spilled the entire thing. If it wasn’t for the hands that suddenly reached around him and settled over his, he might’ve managed to send his cup flying.

Spencer jumped in the split second it took him to recognize who the hands belonged to. Then he was relaxing down into the touch, allowing himself that brief moment to rest in arms he knew were going to hold him up. He released his cup and let Dave hold it with one hand, pausing to give Spencer a squeeze with his other before he drew it out. With quick, efficient movements, Dave prepared the cup of coffee the way that he knew Spencer liked. Once he had it done, he didn’t hand it over. Instead, he cradled it in one hand and used his other hand to reach up and clasp Spencer's shoulder. “Come on, Papà. Everyone else is asleep. Come sit with me for a bit.”

They took the seats right behind one of the couches. Spencer let Dave direct him into the inside seat where he’d be by the window and with his back to Gabriel. Then Dave slid in next to him. Aaron, the only other person awake, gave them a brief look that had Spencer wanting to squirm. Dave just shook his head at their Unit Chief in a silent warning to leave it all alone, one that Aaron surprisingly listened to.

Spencer settled down into his seat and felt just a little bit steadier when he reached out for the mug that Dave set in front of him. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” Dave smiled his way, a soft look that held things they couldn’t say here. Then he sat back in his seat and pulled out a book Spencer hadn’t even noticed he’d been carrying. Neither one of them said anything. Both had plenty on their minds and weren’t quite willing to talk about it with anyone. It didn’t mean they had to be alone, though. This wasn’t the first and it wouldn’t be the last time that they sat quietly together, lost in their own thoughts and not saying a word.

The rest of the ride home was quiet as Dave read his book and Spencer stared out the window and wished for things he thought he’d learned to stop hoping for a long, long time ago.

Spencer was only slightly ashamed of the fact that he hurried away from the jet so quickly after landing. He managed to not only avoid Gabriel, but Derek as well who kept shooting him worried looks, and he even skirted around Dave before the man could think about trying to ask Spencer anything or even offer him a ride home. As calming as the quiet ride back had been, there was too much going on in Spencer's head, too many things that he just needed to escape from. So he quietly and quickly slipped away from anyone and shelled out the money for a cab ride home instead of even bothering to try the busses.

There were so many different things going on in Spencer's head it was hard to get a coherent thought. Getting home didn't really help that feeling. He'd hoped the safety and security of his own place might help to relax him. In reality, he was even more on edge. It felt like every second he was just waiting for trouble to come after him.

The last time he'd told any part of his secret to an angel, it hadn't ended well. They'd promised to try and help him and in the end all they'd done was hurt him in their efforts to study the curse and how it worked. Not how to remove it - how something could be created that so destroyed the natural order of things.

Spencer groaned loudly to himself and dropped down onto his couch. There was no one here to see him. No one to comment on it as he let his head fall back and just stared up at the ceiling. When was he going to learn to keep his mouth shut and stop telling people things? How many times was he going to get burned before he realized that the metaphorical fire was hot?

He had no idea what was going to happen now. Really, Spencer wanted to believe that Gabriel wasn't going to do anything. He didn't seem at all like the other angels that Spencer had dealt with. Hell, he was nothing like them. He'd broken away from Heaven and lived for countless years as a pagan god of all things.

The person that Spencer had enjoyed dinner with the other night didn't seem like a person that would turn around and betray him over something like this.

Then again, Spencer hadn't exactly told him everything. He'd told Gabriel that he couldn't die. He hadn't told him about what happened each time someone killed him. He hadn't told him how long he'd been alive. And he definitely hadn't told him about the curse or how it was all Spencer's fault anyways.

Spencer sat there for who knew how long as his thoughts circled round and round in a dizzying spin that left him vaguely nauseous. He might've sat there all night if someone hadn't pounded on his door.

His first thought was that Gabriel had come to find him and force him into talking. It sent panic spiraling through him.

Almost immediately after he had the thought he dismissed it. If it were Gabriel he probably would've been calling out already, or he might've even just flown straight in.

Spencer pushed himself up off the couch, wondering and worrying who on earth was banging on his door so hard.

He was more than a little surprised when he opened it to find Dave standing on the other side. “Dave?” One look at his son's face had Spencer's worries skyrocketing. He knew that face - knew it far too well. Dave wasn't as shy with his emotions as some people could be. Maybe some with others, but not typically with Spencer. Yet still, very rarely did he ever actually break down from anything. He'd always been so damn strong. So to see him standing there with red rimmed eyes, Spencer knew that something was wrong.

With one hand Spencer reached out and caught Dave's arm. He pulled him in before absently shutting the door, his eyes never leaving Dave's face. “What is it? What happened?”

“Carolyn’s sick.”

Those two shaking words had Spencer drawing in a breath to steady himself. In that moment the rest of the team would’ve been stunned to watch the transformation come over Spencer. Gone was the geeky, shy, awkward genius who tended to avoid touching and talking about feelings. That person had no place here. Instead, the person that so very few people got to see came to the front, the one that had taken in an orphaned infant and raised him as his own.

Spencer used his hold on Dave’s arm to draw him over to the couch. Then he went to the little sidebar he kept in his living room and poured them each a drink. When he brought them back over, he pressed one glass into Dave’s hands before he sat down beside him, turning his body just enough that their knees were touching. Then he reached out and laid his hand over Dave’s knee. “Tell me.”

That was what Dave did. He sat there on Spencer's couch and told him about having dinner with Carolyn. About how Dave had thought that maybe she wanted to try again, that there might be some old spark there, only to have the rug yanked out from underneath him when she told him that she was sick. “ALS.” Dave said hoarsely. “Lou Gehrig’s disease. She’s had it for over a year now, but it’s… she’s at the end. And she wants me to help her go out of this world on her terms.”

Oh. Spencer had to close his eyes for a moment to keep hold of his composure. In the back of his mind he could hear a different voice, soft and low as it whispered from his memories “Don’… don’ let me die like that, Doc, please. You know what they’ll do t’ me. Don’ let me die like that.”

This is not about me, Spencer thought firmly. He pushed away those memories and refused to let them come forward. This wasn’t about him – this was about Dave. Spencer slid his hand off Dave’s knee and moved it up to curl around his wrist, steadying hands that shook ever so slightly against the glass he still cradled. “I’m so sorry, David. I know how hard of a choice that can be to make.”

“I can’t kill her and I can’t just… just sit back and watch her die. But how can I tell her no?” Dave licked his lips and looked down at his glass briefly before he lifted aching eyes up to Spencer. There was a hint of the little boy he’d once been hiding in that look. A child silently begging his parent to somehow make this better. To make it right. “What do I do, Papà?”

“I can’t make that decision for you.” Much as he hated it, Spencer knew that he couldn’t. He couldn’t tell Dave what to do here. “This is a decision you’ve got to make on your own.  You’ve got to figure out what you feel is comfortable and right for you.”

“This isn’t about me.” Dave insisted immediately. “It’s about her.”

Spencer shook his head. “It’s about both of you. This may be what she wants, yes, but you’re the one that’s going to live with it for the rest of your life. You need to figure out if that’s something you can do or not.”

Silence fell over the room and Spencer dropped his hand back down. He gave Dave the quiet for a bit to allow him a chance to gather his thoughts. He’d almost prepared himself for it when Dave finally spoke, asking the question that Spencer knew was coming. “Have you ever had to…?”

“Twice.” Spencer said softly. “I’ve been asked twice in my life.”

Surprised eyes lifted towards him. Dave’s eyebrows lifted up as well. He was almost hesitant as he asked “…did you?”

This wasn’t exactly something that Spencer wanted to talk about. For anyone else, he wouldn’t have. He would’ve turned the topic right back around on them and made sure that that was where it stayed. This wasn’t anyone else, though. “Yes, I did.” Sighing, Spencer lifted his glass and took a long drink before lowering it back down. “The first time was in a warzone. I was working in the medical tents when they brought in this young boy, couldn’t have been more than thirteen years old.” He’d looked so much younger, Spencer remembered. Just a baby playing in a war he never should’ve been involved in. Spencer licked his lips and looked down at his glass, seeing something much different than the alcohol there. “Our side wanted him treated to get him in as good of condition as possible so they could interrogate him. He was just a boy – one who didn’t know anything. But I knew they wouldn’t be kind in asking him questions. He begged me to kill him instead of making him go through that before they’d end up killing him anyways. I knew the kinds of things they’d put him through and I couldn’t live with myself if I let him go through all of that. So, when I gave him his medicine, I gave him just enough that he’d slip down into sleep and never wake up again.” And he’d paid his price for it later, forced down on his knees in a battlefield. But he’d never regretted it.

“The second time.” Spencer continued, not giving Dave a chance to say anything. “Was a little more like this. Someone whom I loved very, very much, and who was extremely ill. I gave him the only form of peace that I could. My very last gift to him.”

“How did you do it?” Dave asked softly. “How did you make that kind of decision?”

“It wasn’t easy. I had to weigh it all in my mind. I knew what kind of pain he was in, just how badly he was hurting every single moment of every day. Not just physically, but mentally as well. Being reduced to someone who couldn’t get up out of bed – who needed help to simply go to the bathroom – it was killing him as surely as the disease was. It destroyed not just his body, but his mind, his heart and his dignity. It stripped him of everything. In the end, what he asked of me was the only way he could think of to stop all that pain and to take back some sort of control over his life. I knew I’d feel guilty over it. I always will. But I also knew that there was no way I could bring myself to refuse him.” It wasn’t a decision he regretted, either. In the end he’d done what was right. He’d given him some dignity in death. Sometimes, that was all you could give a person.

Sighing, Dave looked down, and the way he dropped his head and drew up his shoulders made him look so young. Young and scared. “I don’t know what to do. I just, I don’t know.”

Oh, little boy. Spencer wished there was a way he could make this better. That there was something he could do to make it right. Instead, all he could do was reach out to press his hand against Dave’s back rubbing lightly and then sliding his hand up until he could brush it through his hair. “Right now, I think you need to rest. This doesn’t have to be figured out tonight, David. You need to sleep on it and let it all just settle.” Spencer set his glass down on the coffee table and then pushed up to his feet, tugging on Dave’s arm until he rose as well. Reaching out, he took Dave’s glass from him and set it down as well. Then he took hold of his arm and began to steer him towards the hallway that led to the bedroom. “Come on, let’s get you in bed.”

It only took a second for Dave to realize what he was doing and to start to protest. “No, Papà, I can’t take…”

Spencer cut him off with a firm “Be quiet.” He watched Dave snap his mouth shut and gave a small nod of satisfaction. “The last thing you need is to be going back to that big house all by yourself tonight. You’ve got spare clothes here in the closet, so you won’t have to worry about changing tomorrow.” Spencer kept a firm hold on him and made absolutely sure he wasn’t going to slip away. “For now, I want you to just shut it all off and go to bed. You need to sleep.”

“I can take the couch.” Dave tried to argue.

Rolling his eyes where Dave couldn’t see, Spencer just continued to propel him forward. “If you think I would ever have you sleep on the couch while I take the bed, you’re obviously more out of it than I realized." With firm words and a steady touch, Spencer got Dave back into the bedroom and settled into bed. Everything else was forgotten as he focused on the person who mattered most to him in the world.

By the time that Spencer had Dave fully settled in and was back out in the living room with blankets, he was more than ready to get some sleep of his own. He stripped off his shoes and outer layers until he was left in just his boxers and undershirt. Then, wrapped up in his blankets, he curled up on his couch.

Despite how exhausted he was, thoughts of David and Carolyn, of Gabriel, and of people in his past, all of them swirled around in Spencer's mind.

It was a long time before he finally found any sleep.

Chapter Text

Going in to work the next day was difficult. Spencer wanted to keep Dave at home. He wanted to bundle him up and hide away the way that they’d used to do when Dave was small and his problems could still be solved by a hug from the man he was sure could do anything. But keeping him home wasn’t going to do either of them any good. Dave was a grown man now, one who had to solve his own problems. He knew he could always come to Spencer and that he could lean on him no matter what. That Spencer would be there to help him and help support him. But this was a huge thing that Dave had to think about and he had to make the decision on his own. Spencer couldn’t make it for him.

Still, Spencer couldn't help but worry. He sat at his desk at work and tried not to stare at the little kitchen area where Dave was currently sitting. He was pretending to read something but Spencer could see the distant look in his eyes and the little furrow between his brows that meant that he was deep in thought.

The main doors opened and Spencer absently looked over. That absent glance became much more alert when he saw who was coming in.

It never failed to amaze him just how human Gabriel could act. He didn't come off as anything but human to everyone else. Not that they knew about the supernatural, but, still. Even civilians sometimes felt things that were 'off' about certain people. Gabriel didn't give out that vibe. He was giving off a different vibe at the moment, though. One that spoke of nerves and a sense of hesitation that Spencer found he didn't like to see there.

A long night of thinking had left Spencer feeling more than just a bit guilty about the way he'd treated Gabriel yesterday. Not only had he snapped at him - when Gabriel hadn't done anything to deserve it - he'd also dumped quite a bit on him and then simply walked away. Spencer felt bad about it. It was obvious that Gabriel wasn't sure how to approach Spencer now, or if it was even safe to do so.

As much as Spencer wanted to protect himself and his heart, one conclusion that he'd come to last night was that it was already starting to become too late. Even if he pulled back now, even if he ran and hid like a cowardly part of him wanted to, he wasn't going to be able to completely escape the feelings that Gabriel was stirring to life in him. I'm already in way, way too deep. What terrified him the most was that he wasn't sure he wanted to try and pull himself out.

What he was sure of was that he owed Gabriel an apology. With that in mind, Spencer sat up a little straighter in his chair and tilted his head until he could catch Gabriel's eye. Once he had his attention, he waved him over.

The hesitance only barely showed in Gabriel’s eyes as he made his way over. At another gesture from Spencer, he sat down in a nearby chair and rolled it over. “What's up, doc?”

Spencer chose to ignore the pun and simply get to the heart of things. He made himself meet Gabriel’s eyes, knowing that the archangel deserved it, and kept his voice steady without any of the fear he still had inside. “I owe you an apology for my behavior yesterday.”

“Spencer.” The lines on Gabriel's face softened and his eyes looked a little warmer, like melted honey. Any aloofness or hesitance was suddenly gone like it had never been there. “You don't have anything to apologize for, Half-Pint.”

“Yes, I do.” Spencer closed his eyes for a moment. Just for a moment, to give himself time to get control. He knew his own look was sort of shy when he opened his eyes again and probably showed more of his embarrassment than he wanted. In his lap, he twisted his fingers together. “You've been extremely kind and patient with me. I shouldn't have dumped all of that on you. I'm enjoying our, our friendship and I just, I don't want to lose that.”

Gabriel sat up in his chair, the relaxed slouch gone from his posture. “Hey.” His eyes were serious as he reached out a hand and laid just his fingertips on Spencer's arm. It was a small touch, yet it worked perfectly to make sure that Spencer's attention was fully on him. “I wasn’t lying to you before when I said I like what I’m finding here, Spencer. I may not have been here very long, but I like what you guys do here, and I really like all of you. You guys… you make me feel like a part of the team, even though none of you know me all that well. An you do good things here. So long as you don’t mind me being around, I don’t really see myself going anywhere.”

The immensity of that statement floored Spencer. “You barely even know us.”

He watched as one corner of Gabriel’s mouth quirked up. The fingers on Spencer's arm pressed in ever so slightly. “I’d really like the chance to fix that.”

The silence between them might’ve stretched on and on if the sounds of footsteps hadn’t broken the moment. As Emily and JJ made their way to Emily’s desk, chatting the whole way, Gabriel gave one last press of his fingers against Spencer's arm and then drew his touch back. A smile was already lighting up his face before he’d even fully turned to face the girls. “Morning, ladies!”

Of course, as if there wasn’t already enough going on, there had to be another case. Gabriel was surprised when Aaron called them all up to the conference room. “We just got back last night.” The archangel pointed out as he pushed up to his feet.

Spencer shrugged one shoulder as he rose beside him. “It happens. When the cases are big enough, or the other teams are busy enough, we’ve been known to go back to back for sometimes three or four cases before Hotch puts his foot down and gets us at least a weekend off.”

“There are really that many open serial cases out there?”

Together, the two started to make their way to the ramp that would lead up towards the conference room. As he walked, Spencer explained, “There are anywhere from twenty-five to fifty active serial killers in the United State sat any given time. But not all cases that we deal with are serial killers. We also work missing children cases, serial rapists, bombings, suspected terrorism, mass shootings – there’s quite a list of things that we cover. We also consult with quite a few places to provide profiles on even single murders or other crimes as deemed necessary.”

“So basically you guys go after the worst of the worst.”

“In a sense, yes.”

Gabriel gave an impressed whistle. “That’s a helluva job, kiddo.” Then he flashed Spencer a grin and leaned in, bumping their arms together. “You might be a bit more of a badass than I realized.”

The bump of their arms threw Spencer off balance a little and he stumbled, almost tripping over his own feet in the process. He might’ve actually managed to fall if it weren’t for Gabriel’s hands darting out and catching hold of him, bracing him until Spencer could find his feet once more. Heat filled Spencer's cheeks as he looked over at Gabriel, who was grinning at him, eyes sparkling with amusement. “Then again…” The archangel trailed off teasingly and Spencer's blush only deepened.

“Shut up.”

Gabriel chuckled lowly and bumped Spencer again, only this time he snagged a finger into Spencer's pants pocket as he did to keep him balanced. “You like it.”

“Have you spoken to anyone about your delusions, Gabriel? Those can be the sign of something quite a bit more serious.” Spencer turned to look at him and arched his eyebrow, his whole expression mocking, as they walked into the room, not noticing that he almost caught the door frame as he did – or that he would have if Gabriel hadn’t used the finger still in Spencer's pocket to pull him just enough to keep him out of the way.

The way that Gabriel lit up had Spencer wanting to smile. “Look at you!” The hand that had hooked Spencer's pocket now let go and Gabriel lifted it so he could clap Spencer on the back. “I didn’t know you had it in you, kiddo.”

“You should hear him on the mornings he doesn’t get any coffee.” Derek called out, laughing at the glare Spencer shot his way.

JJ snickered as she sat back in her seat. “Spence without coffee isn’t something I’d wish on anyone.”

“We could unleash him on the Unsubs like that.” Emily chimed in. “They wouldn’t stand a chance.”

The glare that Spencer gave them all only earned him more laughter. That laughter grew as Aaron – Aaron, of all people! – sat down in his chair and dryly said “There are laws that prevent us from being that cruel to criminals.”

“Hotch!” Spencer exclaimed, staring at his friend and boss in shock.

Beside him, Gabriel was almost dying of laughter, clinging to Spencer's arm as he doubled over. He stumbled a little when Spencer jerked his arm away from him. All the teasing and laughter was worth it, though, when Spencer saw the small smile touching his son’s lips. Making Dave smile was worth any amount of teasing that Spencer had to put up with. Right now he definitely needed it.

“All right, all right.” Penelope’s amused voice drew all their attention to her. She grinned at them and shook her head before taking a seat. “Let’s pay attention and get to work, Crime Fighters.” With the press of a button, an image appeared up on the screen behind her and everyone focused in as Penelope began her speech. “Okay, this is Ridge Canyon Lake in California's Angeles National Forest. It's popular destination for water sport enthusiast. Unfortunately some campers have discovered someone has chosen murder as their sport of choice. Three victims, all male, all found early this morning.”

“He used an underwater disposal site?” Emily asked.

“Mm-hmm, he weighed them down with rocks, and then he hid their bodies underneath shrubbery around the lake's edge.”

“Seems a bit risky to me, doing it in a public place like that. Seems like there’d be a ton of people there.” Gabriel said. He had dropped down into the chair between Spencer and Derek and showed absolutely no shame in leaning against Derek’s arm to look at the tablet the profiler held. All of them were getting a little used to the casual way that Gabriel touched. Derek didn’t even pull away, just rolled his eyes and tilted the tablet a little so that Gabriel could get a better look.

Emily nodded her agreement with him. “This guy's showing confidence early.”

“Well, we should run priors in the area.” Derek suggested. “This might not be his first party.”

They talked through their introduction to the case and Spencer kept the main part of his focus on it even as the rest of his mind drifted. A part of him was worrying about Dave – that was a part he was convinced would never go away, no matter how old Dave got – and another part of him was playing over his conversation with Gabriel and wondering what the hell he thought he was doing. It wasn’t just the feelings he was trying not to admit to, either. This whole ‘archangel hiding as a profiler’ thing was insane.  It shouldn’t work out. It should’ve been almost impossible, to have an archangel, an ex-pagan, actually working with a team of humans to hunt down criminals, using as minimal powers as possible. This whole thing should be strange and awkward.

Yet as Spencer watched Gabriel poke at something on Derek’s tablet, as he saw the fond look of amused exasperation that Spencer usually got from Derek, or as he saw the way the others smiled or ignored what was going on, Spencer couldn’t deny that Gabriel seemed to be fitting in.

Spencer forced himself to push all those thoughts down. This wasn’t the time for it. He’d been doing nothing but thinking about this ever since Gabriel started here. Right now, he needed to focus on this case. The rest was just going to have to come later.

This case wasn’t the strangest that they’d ever been on. Spencer could easily think of five others off the top of his head that were much stranger. It was, however, the first case they’d had since Gabriel had joined the team that involved some sort of religious aspect. Spencer had worried ever since Gabriel started with them about what would happen when they inevitably met someone whose murders were justified by religion in some way. As far as cases went, they got sort of lucky this time. The religious aspects weren’t as bad as they could be. It wasn’t like the Unsub was killing in God’s name or anything like that.

What he was doing wasn’t anywhere near as simple as that. Spencer had begun to have some suspicions about things when he learned how each of their victims had either been strangled or drowned and then resuscitated multiple times. But it wasn’t until Penelope really dug into victim background that they finally figured out what was going on.

The whole BAU team was gathered around a table in the little conference room that the local PD had leant to them. In the center of the table was a phone from which Penelope’s voice was currently coming, holding all their attention. “Jeepers,” She said, making a small smile flash briefly over Derek’s lips. It was quickly wiped away as she continued on. “The more I dig, the more peculiar it gets. Okay, the first victim, Jake Shepherd, had an interesting life, and I'm using “interesting” in replace of the phrase, “he was a big hoodlum.” He had a history of truancy, petty theft, domestic disturbances, all of which landed him in the juvenile hall for some stints during high school, as you can imagine. He fell in with the wrong sort of crowd.”

“What kind of crowd?” Aaron asked.

“The drug and sexy parties kind.”

Gabriel was the one to call out “So what happened?”

“Jake Shepherd saw the light. Like, literally. He spoke of a gentle light and a silhouetted figure bathed in warmth who welcomed him but told him it wasn't his time.”

Out of the corner of his eye Spencer saw Gabriel twitch a little. Nothing else gave him away and no one else saw it. Everyone else was too focused on wrapping up the call with Penelope and then hanging up with her to pay any attention to a tiny slip in Gabriel’s control. By the time they focused again he was slouched back in his chair much like Derek was, putting off a calm aura. But Spencer had seen the tiny little twitch and logged it away to try and talk to him about later. Maybe he should’ve warned him, given him a heads up on what kinds of cases they could come across sometimes.

“If this Unsub is so obsessed with death, then Jake Shepherd was the perfect person to talk to.” Aaron said. “He'd been there and back again.”

The sound of Derek scoffing cut through anything else that might’ve been said. All eyes turned to him as he said “Come on, guys. Gentle lights, shadowy figures. Those are the lights in the emergency room and the doctors hovering over the patients. We all know that.” He rolled his eyes and gestured vaguely at the air. “No one actually sees the afterlife.”

“I did.” The words were out before Spencer could stop them. He felt all eyes turn to him and he flushed a little and fought not to shuffle his feet. In all his years, in all his deaths, he’d never once seen anything but dark before it all burst back into existence around him - all except for once. Spencer licked his lips and looked down at his hands, at the table. Anywhere but at his friends. “Before Tobias Hankel resuscitated me, I had that exact experience, and I wasn't in an emergency room. I was in a shed.”

“Reid, you never told me that.” Derek said softly.

Because he hadn’t known how to deal with it. He knew Heaven and Hell existed – he’d met demons and angels, there was no denying their existence. But to catch a glimpse of something, just a small taste of it, after so long without even a hint of ever being able to truly die, it’d been sort of mind-shattering for him. Not that he could tell Derek or the others that. So instead, though it left a bitter taste in his mouth, Spencer fell back on the persona he’d built here and gave them the lies that would make sense to them. “I'm a man of science. I- I didn't know how to deal with it. Th-There's no quantifiable proof that God exists, and yet, in that moment, I was faced with something that I couldn't explain. I still can't.”

Everyone seemed to accept that, though Derek was still looking at him with a bit of surprise. Spencer very deliberately avoided looking over at Gabriel. He knew the lie behind Spencer's words.

“What if this UnSub has had a similar experience, and this is his way of looking for answers?” Aaron said. He had that look on his face that told them all his sharp mind was already working, twisting and turning over ideas.

“Why’s he doing it over and over, though?” There was nothing of the earlier surprise showing in Gabriel’s voice now. He was just as calm as the rest of them, just as focused. “I mean, I get it once, asking them what they see and all. But what’s the point of doing it over and over again?”

A slow, hesitant voice answered them. “He wanted to see if he had the same experience as before.” Emily said.

JJ made a half pained, half exasperated sound. “Once isn't enough?”

“Not if Jake didn't see the same thing the Unsub did. He wants to know if the experience can change. I can relate to that.” Emily gave a half-laugh that held more bitterness to it than anything else. Her eyes were shadowed and there was a hint of tension to her body as she looked up at them. When she realized that all eyes were on her, she dropped her gaze a little. It wasn’t hard for Spencer to see that Emily had made the same mistake as him – speaking before thinking. Now she was left doing the same thing he had and trying uncomfortably to give them some sort of answer. “Um, Reid felt a warmth and saw a light. When I coded in the ambulance…” Emily paused and her voice changed a bit, got just slightly softer. “…all I felt was cold and darkness. And I would like to think that there's a different future waiting for me.”

Spencer felt his eyes go wide as her words sank in. Her death… it’d been a ploy, he knew. An act. Something to keep Emily in witness protection essentially. When he’d found out the truth, he’d assumed all of it was an act. But… “You actually died?”

No one said anything. Spencer curled his hand in tight, his body turning away ever so slightly. Thinking about losing any of his teammates was always painful to him. Thinking about the time that he’d been so sure he’d actually lost one – it wasn’t one of his best times.

“All right,” Derek, ever the good friend, drew the focus over to him and away from Spencer, bringing them all back on topic. “Resuscitation is hit or miss. He can't guarantee that he can actually bring anyone back, let alone that anyone will remember what happened in their moment of so-called death.”

“Reid, what's the best way to make sure his victims had an experience?” Dave asked, speaking up for the first time through all of this.

“Keep them dead longer.”

Spencer wasn’t all that surprised when Gabriel showed up in the breakroom not even a minute behind him. He’d known that the archangel would want to talk the minute that Spencer spoke back there. Not just about the religious aspects of this, either. He was going to be curious about quite a bit of what Spencer said. The rest of the team knew; they all knew about Tobias. Gabriel didn’t. And to Spencer's surprise, he found that he didn’t mind the idea of saying it. As Derek had helped him learn, this wasn’t something to be ashamed of. It wasn’t something embarrassing or something that needed hidden. It was something that had happened to him on the job and something he’d managed to essentially save himself from. “Be proud of that.” Derek had told him more than once. “You saved yourself, Reid. We just gave you the ride home. But you – you fought against an Unsub and won because of that big brain of yours. Be damn proud of that.”

The sound of the breakroom door shutting brought Spencer back out of his thoughts. He snuck a look back and saw that it was just Gabriel here; there was no one else in the room, no one else had come in with him.

Turning back to the cup of coffee he was preparing, it took just a second for Spencer to find the words he wanted. He didn’t bother waiting for Gabriel to ask before he began to explain it. “A few years back, the team and I were working a case in rural Georgia. I got a little too fearless, a little too eager to prove that I was a valuable member of the team, and I underestimated an Unsub while overestimating my skills. I made the biggest mistake there was – I separated from my partner.”

His picked up his coffee cup and threw the stirring stick into the garbage. Then he turned around to face the room. Gabriel was standing nearby, almost hesitant looking, like he didn’t want to come forward or say anything that might stop Spencer from speaking. It was almost amusing in a way.

What little smile it gave Spencer was wiped away as he leaned back against the counter and continued his story. “I was knocked out and kidnapped by our Unsub. When I woke up, I was tied to a chair in the middle of a shack that smelled strongly of burning fish entrails. Our Unsub was suffering from dissociative identity disorder with extreme religious delusions. I won’t get into all the details,” some of them were the last things he really wanted to think about, “but at one point one of the personalities, his core personality, had drugged me just a little too much. When the personality of his father knocked me down, my body couldn’t handle the trauma and I seized.”

“Shit, Spencer.” Gabriel took a step forward, his eyes a bit wide. It was strange to think that this shocked him. He had to have seen so much as an archangel, or as a pagan. How was it that the story of one little human could surprise him that much?

Spencer shrugged a shoulder and tried to go for casual even if he felt anything but that. His hand tightened briefly on his coffee. “I came very close to dying there, with my entire team watching. Tobias was streaming the whole thing to his home computer where they were watching. To them, I probably looked very much dead. But I wasn’t. Not quite.” If he had been, he wouldn’t have been on that floor anymore. “It was the closest I’ve felt to a true death since the very first time I died.” And after that, he’d spent so much time chasing that feeling through the end of a needle, hoping that maybe this time he’d finally found something that could actually break the curse. That he might actually be able to die. In the end it hadn’t worked, of course. He was still here. But Spencer could remember how badly he’d hoped. How much he’d wanted it all to just finally be over.

He hadn’t realized he’d gotten so lost in his thoughts until he was startled out of them by the touch of Gabriel’s hand on his arm. Turning his head, Spencer looked down to find Gabriel was staring up at him without a single mask over his eyes. There was sorrow in that gaze that felt older than even Spencer. It was ancient and carried a weight to it that stole Spencer's breath away. “I’m so sorry, Spencer.” Gabriel rubbed his hand over Spencer's arm and somehow managed to look even sadder than before. “Whatever was done to you, whatever curse did this, I’m so damn sorry you’ve had to go through it.”

“It’s all right.” Spencer ducked his head down, letting a little bit of hair fall down. He wasn’t used to such open emotion. Even Derek, who was usually the one to try and talk to Spencer when he was upset, never came right out and put everything out there. It was just sort of a side effect of being a profiler. You learned to display only what you wanted to display.

The hand on his arm left and Spencer only had a second to marvel at himself as he found himself fighting to urge to reach out for it. Then it was back, gentle fingers pulling Spencer's hair away from his face and tucking it behind his ear. Spencer's eyes darted up. He found Gabriel watching him and something in his look froze Spencer in place. It wasn’t something that he could name – but he knew the feelings it stirred up.

Whatever might’ve happened next remained a mystery. Gabriel abruptly dropped his hand and leaned back just a little. Spencer didn’t get a chance to ask why. Not even five seconds after, the door to the breakroom opened and Derek stuck his head in. “Hey, we need you guys. We’ve got something.”

As Spencer followed Gabriel out of the breakroom, he wondered just how much trouble he was getting himself into here, and how far was he going to let it go before he put a stop to it. Things with Gabriel were getting too… too intense. Too much. Yet even as he thought about it he knew he wasn’t going to stop it. Even with as painful as it was, this was the first time in a long time that he’d felt anything like this. Cold parts of his soul were waking up, warmed by the sunlight that he found in this archangel, and even the promise of pain in the future wasn’t enough to continue to deter him.

It didn't take them long after that to solve their case. The mother and child that their Unsub had taken were what led them to him, and in the end the team managed to not only rescue the two but apprehend their Unsub as well. Even it did mean that Emily and Spencer ended up taking a bit of a swim to stop their Unsub from drowning himself.

With their case solved, they were free to return back home. Spencer had worried before about where his conversation with Gabriel might go after that little meeting in the breakroom. He'd wondered about it and asked himself what he would do if Gabriel really did come up and want to talk about it .Would he? Would Spencer be able to answer his questions and tell him the truth? Or would he try and brush it off again?

All of those questions were promptly forgotten when Dave sat down beside him on the jet. He didn't say anything, didn't draw any notice to the fact that he sat down at Spencer's side on a couch where there was plenty of space. He just sat down and pulled out a book that he then proceeded to pretend to read. Spencer knew him well enough to know exactly what was going on. This was the closest that Dave could come to asking for comfort with so many sets of eyes on them. He couldn't lean against Spencer the way he probably wanted to. They couldn't even really talk. All he could do was sit at the side of the only man he'd ever known as father and try to draw comfort that way.

A look passed between Spencer and Gabriel and then the archangel nodded. Not even ten minutes later he'd managed to corral everyone else - Aaron included - into the back of the jet for a rather lively game of poker. One that he'd loudly declared Spencer was banned from joining because “I've heard stories about you and your card skills, Doc! Don't think I haven't been warned!” That earned him laughter from everyone else and a grateful smile from Spencer.

With everyone occupied somewhere else, Spencer was free to stay there by Dave. To give him the only thing he could at the moment.

When Dave leaned in a little, pressing against his arm, Spencer pressed back. I'm here, the touch said. At that moment it was all they needed.

That night when the call came in from Dave, telling him of Carolyn’s death, Spencer wasn't surprised, but his heart broke a little at having it confirmed. He silently gathered his things and hailed the first cab he could get.

When he reached Dave's house, he wasted no time in letting himself inside. He'd only made it a few steps in the front hall before he found himself with his arms full. Spencer's heart broke a little more as he cradled the person who meant the most to him the world and wished with everything he had that he could take this pain away from him.

Chapter Text

With Carolyn's death, no one was surprised when Dave took a little time off. Spencer had encouraged it, even. He'd given Dave the keys to a home he had a few hours away, a private sort of hideaway where Dave would be free to go and mourn in peace. He'd already shared as much of his grief as he could with Spencer. The rest, Spencer knew, had to be dealt with on his own. They were too much alike in that sense.

With Dave gone, things around the Bureau continued on. Even if it felt strange to go to work each day and not see him there, they managed just as they always did. And, if Spencer were honest, he had to admit that the two weeks that Dave took off sort of seemed to fly by.

He put most of the credit for that at the feet of their newest teammate.

Spencer was surprised by just how seamlessly Gabriel seemed to have folded himself into their team. For all the talk that he was a ‘temporary transfer’ no one was mentioning the fact that he was supposed to one day leave – least of all Gabriel. He seemed to grow more and more content with each passing day. It was something that Spencer recognized. He’d seen the same look before, on himself. It was the way he’d felt when he’d first joined this team. That awkward, not quite fitting in stage followed so quickly by a sense of rightness. Like this was where he belonged. Where he was meant to be. It seemed that Gabriel was getting that same feeling.

Still, even as he saw it happening, Spencer still thought in the back of his mind that it was still likely Gabriel would get bored of the work at the BAU. He didn’t seem the type to be anchored down like this. Yet he was there every single day. Not just there, but integrating himself with the team in more than just a personal manner. He was picking up on profiling quickly and was even starting to contribute on cases.  More often than not he and Spencer ended up paired together and it worked out perfectly for the two of them. It made it easier for them to find ways to use Gabriel’s powers without drawing too much attention and also while still making sure that they had the evidence they needed to put their Unsub away. It also brought them closer and closer, despite Spencer's best efforts otherwise. The two worked together, were paired together, and Gabriel had even started to drive him home from the jet now when they got back from cases. They even talked on their way home. The only topics that didn’t come up was Spencer's curse, or his age. Beyond that, Gabriel poked at him for little bits and pieces here and there, and Spencer reveled in the ability to not only talk to someone about his life, but to also be able to talk to someone who had actually seen the things that he’d seen.

It wasn’t just Spencer that was being affected by Gabriel’s presence, though. The archangel was integrating himself with all of them.

He and Penelope got on amazingly well, just as Spencer had predicted. More than once Spencer had heard Gabriel talking with Penelope about taking yet another shopping trip together. They often included Emily in those outings, too.

Sometimes Derek, Emily, Penelope, and Gabriel went out, the group of them finding a club. Spencer was always invited, as were the others, but those four were the ones most commonly going out.

Seeing the way that Gabriel was with them, the way they accepted him into their group, was amazing. Like Penelope, Gabriel brought a bit of sunshine to the darkness that their cases usually gave them. He made them smile and laugh and forget, just for a little while, about some of the horrors they had to see.

For as much as Spencer was watching, he didn’t really think about anyone else watching in return. A mistake on his part. He should’ve remembered just how observant everyone was – his best friend especially.

Spencer was in the kitchen area of the BAU, making himself a cup of coffee while he waited for Gabriel to get back from grabbing lunch for everyone. Most of Spencer's work for the day was done and he didn’t really have anything to occupy his time while he waited. As he mixed his coffee, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Spencer rolled his eyes even as he pulled his phone out. Gabriel was far too amused by the fact that Spencer didn’t like much technology and seemed to take great pleasure out of forcing him to use it. One of his favorite ways was by texting Spencer constantly.

The photo that he’d sent this time had Spencer snorting. The giant dork had taken a photo of himself pretending to take a bite out of a giant donut sign. With fingers that were slightly more confident on a keyboard than they’d been a few weeks ago, Spencer typed out ‘You’re a dork’ and hit send.

“Who would’ve ever thought I’d see the day? Spencer Reid – texting.”

The laughing remark had Spencer looking up with surprise. He hadn’t heard anyone coming over! But there Derek was, grinning as he stepped up to the counter beside Spencer and leaned back against it. His grin grew as he gestured at the cell phone in Spencer's hand. “Gabriel?”

Color flooded Spencer's cheeks at the insinuating tone that Derek used. He knew it gave him away, but he still asked “What makes you say that?”

“You only get that smile while you’re talking to him.” Derek said easily. He laughed as Spencer's eyebrows shot up and the blush in his cheeks deepened. “Hey, it ain't a bad thing, kid. Any idiot can see he makes you happy. Hell, you seem happier than you’ve been the whole time I’ve known you.”

Oh, God. Spencer ducked his head down and focused on fixing his coffee. Anything that meant he could avoid looking up at Derek. This was a conversation he very much did not want to have. “I’m not… I mean, that’s not…”

“Reid.” Derek chuckled and shook his head. “Man, you might fool other people but you’re not gonna fool me. I know you. You don’t hang out with people all that often and you certainly don’t text. But anymore, you’re always talking with him, always texting. You two sit on the jet and talk. He gives you rides home from work.”

Now Spencer felt guilty. Had he been ignoring his best friend? He wracked his brain, trying to come up with the last time they’d gone out together, or the last time he’d been by Derek’s for one of their movie watching nights. When he couldn’t immediately remember, the guilt grew.

What he was feeling must’ve been clear on his face because Derek was suddenly holding out his hands and waving them in a sort of ‘woah, stop’ gesture. “Hey, no, no, don’t even start with me. I’m not complaining, Reid. I’m happy. You deserve to have someone in your life that makes you smile like that.”

“It’s not... it’s not like that, Morgan.” Spencer insisted. It was the same thing he told himself. From the looks of it, it was about as convincing to Derek as it was to Spencer. Still, he pushed on, not quite able to help himself. “He’s not interested in me like that and you know I don’t, I don’t date anyways. Besides, we’re working on the same team. There are rules against fraternizing like that.”

“We won’t always be. Once he goes back, we’ll be on different teams.” Derek countered immediately. “And even if he stuck around, you know the rest of us would keep it under wraps for you. Hell, we’d go to bat for you if you let us.”

“I told you, it’s not like that.” Spencer insisted.

Derek looked at him for a moment. He tilted his head and watched Spencer's face. Then he gave a slow nod. “All right. Maybe it’s not.” He pushed himself off the counter, pausing right beside Spencer, and he locked their gazes for one brief moment. “But it could be.”

Before Spencer could have a chance to speak, his friend was walking away, leaving Spencer there gaping after him.

Their conversation played in the back of Spencer's mind for the rest of the afternoon. It tugged at him, taunting him, forcing him to look at things he’d been conveniently ignoring for quite a while now. With it shoved in his face this way there was no more denying just how close Spencer was getting with Gabriel. How much he was starting to matter.

It scared the hell out of him.

Everyone noticed just how distracted Spencer was that afternoon. Derek said nothing, just smiling at him and clapping a hand on his shoulder before he retreated back to his office. JJ, of course, tried to mother him. It was what she always did when she worried about them. She checked up on him and even managed to discreetly palm his forehead as if checking for a temperature. Emily just watched him with worried eyes that she wasn’t as good at hiding as she thought.

The only person who didn’t try to come check on him in some way was Gabriel. The archangel stayed at his desk, mostly, and did the paperwork that Spencer wasn’t entirely sure wasn’t just ‘snapped’ finished later on. Once or twice he threw something Spencer's way, just as bad as Derek at trying to get his attention via flying paperclips or paper airplanes. If Spencer had thought about it, he would’ve realized just how strange it was that Gabriel wasn’t trying to ask him anything.

But he didn’t think anything of it. Gabriel left him mostly alone and Spencer stewed in his thoughts up until the end of the day.

It was as Spencer was gathering his stuff that Gabriel finally struck. The archangel waited until Spencer had his sweater on and his bag slung over his shoulder. Then he grabbed Spencer's arm and started to pull him towards the door. “C’mon, kiddo. You’re coming with me.”

“What?” Spencer struggled to keep up, trying not to trip himself and end up toppling them both. He had to grab hold of Gabriel’s arm to brace as he was yanked out the doors of the bullpen and over to the elevators. “What’re you talking about, Gabriel? Where are we going?”

“Out.” Gabriel pushed him into the elevator and then hurried in after him, jabbing the button for the main floor before anyone else could think about joining them. Once the doors closed, he turned to look up at Spencer. “You, my friend, are obviously stressing about something. If I let you just go home, you’re probably gonna sit around and stew all by your lonesome and that’s not acceptable. So! We’re going out and getting a few drinks until either you talk about what happened, or you’re drunk enough to forget whatever it is.”

The idea of talking about it made Spencer's stomach twist up. However, the idea of drinking until he forgot, of pretending for just a few hours that he wasn’t screwed – that was appealing.

To Gabriel’s obvious surprise, Spencer nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

“Well!” It was apparent Gabriel hadn’t expected that. However, he recovered quickly and grinned at him. “This is gonna be so much fun.”

The bar they ended up at was one that Spencer had enjoyed before. Spencer wasn’t sure if it was luck or a misuse of powers that landed them a table tucked back in the corner. Whatever it was, it gave them privacy – just enough distance between them and other tables that any conversation between them would most likely be private. Of course, Spencer had a feeling that Gabriel’s powers could make absolutely sure their conversation was private. He took a bit of comfort from that.

Gabriel fetched them their drinks, leaving Spencer to sit and contemplate the scarred tabletop. He wasn’t gone for long, but it was plenty enough time for Spencer to wonder what on earth he was doing here. Why had he agreed to come out like this?

When he’d first met Gabriel he’d had all sorts of convictions. Spencer had been sure that he wasn’t going to let the man get close. Then he'd found that happening despite his best efforts, so he'd planned to only let him in a little, just a friend and nothing more. Day by day that conviction was being hacked away at. Somehow Spencer had found himself getting closer and closer with the trickster archangel and, if he were honest with himself, most days he couldn't seem to find any regret for it. Gabriel was – he was amazing. Charming, funny, kind, caring.

A glass was set down on the table in front of Spencer. He looked up to find Gabriel smiling at him. The archangel took the seat right across from him, slipping down into it with a grace that really wasn't all that fair. “Must be some nice thoughts to put such a beautiful smile on your face.”

Color flooded Spencer's face. It never stopped flustering him to hear Gabriel's compliments. He was so free with them and that just wasn’t something that Spencer was used to. “It was nothing.”

“Mmm.” The noise Gabriel made somehow managed to convey just how little he believed that. Still, he didn't push. At least, not on that. He just lifted his own drink – something bright orange, with a little umbrella sticking out the top of the glass – and took a sip off of it. “You've been a pretty thoughtful guy all day. What's got you so on edge?”

There was no way in hell Spencer was going to tell him how much of the day had been spent thinking about him. He focused for a second on his own drink, pleasantly surprised at the quality of the wine he found in his glass. Enjoying that first drink gave him enough time to be able to compose himself. He set his glass down and crossed his legs, pressing his knee against the side of the table. It allowed him to drop one hand down to his lap and fiddle slightly with his pants, a self-soothing gesture that he knew gave away his nerves. “Just, caught up in my own thoughts. Thinking about now, the past, all of it.” That wasn't really a lie, either. He'd been thinking about Gabriel as well as the things in his own past that had made him as scared as he was to reach out for things here in the present.

Again, Gabriel made a low humming noise, nodding his head like it made complete sense to him. Then, instead of asking Spencer about it, he surprised Spencer by going a completely different direction. “So, I've kind of held this off for a while, but I figure now is as good a time as any. I'm curious...”

“I’ve noticed.” Spencer said dryly.

He watched as Gabriel’s eyes crinkled with amusement. “Smart ass. I was wondering about, well, how you got from the doctor/hunter I met before to a pretty damn impressive FBI profiler.” He flashed Spencer a grin that only grew at Spencer's blush. “Genius, profiler, child prodigy – nice backstory, I gotta say. I’m impressed. I mean, if I didn’t know it was fake I never would’ve guessed. Your team’s even met your ‘parents’!”

It felt so utterly strange to sit here and have this talk so out in the open like this. Protecting his backstory was something that Spencer had learned how to do a very, very long time ago. Even the few instances where Spencer had been at least semi discovered – where people found out he wasn’t who he said he was – he’d never given them much by the way of explanations. Honest explanations were only given to a select few. Spencer was kind of stunned to realize that Gabriel had begun to fit into that category. The thought of lying to him didn’t sit right with Spencer. He looked at the archangel across from him and found himself telling something he very rarely did – the truth.

“I met someone once, a couple hundred years back. Someone… someone very special to me. I’d been alone for quite a while at the time and he, helped guide me back to life. He was my everything.” A soft smile touched Spencer's lips as he thought back. “Julian was, amazing. He found me once after I’d died and come back and he, he took me in. Gave me a home and a family. He and his wife both. Their marriage was one of friendship, not love, and she never once begrudged him the love that we found together. She let me stay in their home and we made it work for us. It was some of the best years of my life.”

If Gabriel thought it strange that Spencer's story started a few hundred years earlier than what he’d been asking about, he didn’t comment on it. He just sat there and watched Spencer raptly, eyes locked right on him and his whole body focused at Spencer, like he found what Spencer was saying fascinating. It’d been a long time since anyone had looked at him like that.

Spencer took a drink off his glass and let the flavor roll of his tongue for a moment before he swallowed it. “His family knew that I didn’t, that I couldn’t die, but they didn’t know anything else. They never pushed me to tell them. They just, they accepted me for who I was, and they loved me. Even when my existence brought trouble to their door, they still loved me.” He could remember the way they’d all been shunned, the whispers that people had perpetrated behind their hands, the way people talked of the man who stayed with them for no reason. Their whispers had been somewhat close to the truth, though they’d never confirmed it. The family might’ve known that Spencer and Julian were lovers – they weren’t dumb enough to speak it outside of the house in a society that treated homosexuality as deviant and wrong.

“I took care of them all in return as best as I could. I made sure that Julian and Emily never wanted for anything, nor did their kids. I made sure they didn’t have to fear hunger or poverty. That they could be free to live the way that they wanted. It never seemed like a fair repayment for the home they gave me, but they were happy and so was I.” Spencer took a moment to take another drink in an attempt to wash down the bitter taste of old grief. He looked down at his glass for a moment and tried not to let the memories take him. “When… when Julian died, I tried my best to hold them together. I made sure that his death wouldn’t destroy them. It wasn’t even a conscious choice.”

“They were your family.” Gabriel said softly.

Spencer nodded. “Yes, they were. I made a promise to Julian once that I’d always take care of his family. I’ve watched over the Reid family as best I can ever since then, even when old generations die out and new ones are born. In turn, they’ve looked out for me. Very few in the family know much other than that I’m some sort of benefactor. Most of them know about hunting – quite a few have been hunters. To them, I’m something supernatural, something that doesn’t die, and it seems to be enough for them. They know I look out for them and they try their best to help me when they can. Be it a home, a name, or a background story.” A hint of a smile flashed over Spencer's lips. “When I decided to join the Bureau, I went to them to try and set up some backstory, something that I wouldn’t have to worry about being verified. Just something simple. Instead, I ended up with a whole make-believe family. Diana, she wasn’t too ill at the time. She’s got a sharp mind despite her illness. She had no problems claiming that I was her son and neither did William.”

The way that Gabriel was smiling at him was almost as if he were amazed. He shook his head and chuckled a little. “That’s a hell of a family you got there, Half-Pint. Not many people out there would be that willing to try and cover your ass so much, especially when Feds are involved.”

“They’re amazing people.”

“It brings up something else I wanted to ask, though.” Gabriel set his glass down, though he didn’t let go of it. One arm rested on the table and he leaned forward on it as he arched up one eyebrow. “Just how old are you exactly? I know it’s not a polite question to ask, but I’ve never been accused of being polite.”

The wink that went with that had Spencer laughing softly. “Would you believe me if I said I’m not… entirely sure?”

This time both of Gabriel’s eyebrows shot up. “Seriously?”

“Yes.” Now this – this was something that Spencer hadn’t told anyone, not even Dave. He’d never tried to spell out his age for people beyond ‘very old’. “It’s hard to get an entirely accurate timeline. I do know that Augustus Caesar died when I was just a small boy. If my math is correct, then I’d estimate that I'm somewhere close to... two thousand. Give or take a handful of years.”

There were nerves that Spencer couldn’t erase at speaking something like that out loud. Yet those nerves were more than worth it as he got to watch an Archangel of the Lord actually choke on his drink in shock. “What?”

Despite himself, Spencer smiled. He lifted his wine glass and cradled it in his hand, finding himself enjoying the wide eyed way that Gabriel was staring at him, or how his mouth had dropped open ever so slightly. “I'm quite positive you heard me.”

“Well shit.” Gabriel sat back in his chair hard enough that Spencer actually heard the thunk over the sound of the patrons around them. “I think you might've been on this earth longer than I have! I didn't leave until after everything with Jesus. Kinda had to stick around for that whole mess.”

'That whole mess'. Spencer resisted the urge to snort and settled for shaking his head. If only theologists all over could hear an actual archangel, God's Messenger, referring to the life of Jesus Christ as 'that whole mess'. It'd blow their minds.

Then again, meeting Gabriel at all would probably do the same. He wasn't exactly what one thought of when they thought of angels.

“I don't think about it that often.” Spencer shrugged one shoulder, not quite sure how to put this into words. “The early years are, foggy. I have somewhat clear memories of some things. Some parts of it I won't ever be able to forget. But, honestly, there are some there that just sort of blend together. I was young and had no idea what was going on.”

“What happened?”

The question was asked hesitantly, something that was rather strange coming from Gabriel of all people. Spencer found himself torn between answering and not. His mind flashed over those memories – memories of a time he never really allowed himself to forget – and his fingers tightened a little on the stem of his glass. “I made a mistake.” Spencer had to clear his throat to get past the lump that built there. “I was young, stupid, and I thought I was invincible. I thought we were invincible. I loved someone who wasn't mine to love and I destroyed a family because of it. His sister placed the blame for it at my feet, as she should have, and she used the rather considerable power she had to curse me. It took me a long, long time and a bit more knowledge about the supernatural to realize that she had to have summoned a rather powerful demon to help her. For the pain I caused her family, she didn't want to kill me. It would've been too easy. So she cursed me to never be able to die so I'd have to live for an eternity with what I'd done.” In his mind came the echoes of screams, the scent of blood and the sounds of pain. Adult and child.

Lifting his drink, he swallowed the last of it, hoping to wash the taste of bitterness and regret from his tongue.

When he set the glass back down he was surprised when Gabriel's hand closed over his. He looked up and found that those beautiful eyes had gone darker. Whether by the low lights of the bar or emotion, Spencer wasn't sure.

The archangel didn't say anything. He probably knew that there was nothing he could say. All he could do was hold Spencer's hand for that moment and let him know that he wasn't alone. Spencer appreciated the gesture more than words could say.

He blew out a shaky breath and then drew another one in. Only when it was steady again did Gabriel let go of him. As he drew his hand back, he tapped Spencer's glass, and Spencer was pleased to see that the glass had filled once more. He brought it up to his lips and took a sip, smiling a little at the flavor that exploded on his tongue.

Another moment of quiet allowed them both to relax a little. Spencer gathered his composure, locking away the memories that would never stop haunting him. It gave him time to relax enough that, when he spoke again, his voice was much easier, the pained edge gone from it. “It hasn't all been bad. I've lived an interesting life and I've been able to see amazing things.”

Gabriel took the topic change with ease. He smiled at Spencer without a trace of any of the previous shadows in his eyes. “Tell me one of your favorite memories. Something that you've done that makes you laugh.”

There were quite a few of those kinds of memories to choose from. Spencer's own lips started to curve as he sifted through them to try and find one that might suit. When he finally came across the perfect memory, one that he knew would make Gabriel laugh, his smile grew into a grin. “Let me tell you about the time I met the Marquis de Middel...”

Chapter Text

Spencer couldn't remember the last time he'd had such a good time. He and Gabriel sat there and talked for what must've been hours. They exchanged stories back and forth, sharing bits of their lives with one another that they hadn't been able to share with anyone else. Spencer regaled him with stories meant to make Gabriel laugh or smile. Things that were funny or wonderful. In turn, Gabriel shared stories about humans he'd met and known and about some of the things he'd done and learned on earth.

Eventually, they got to stories of people they'd known, and people they lost. The amount of wine that Spencer had drank made his tongue a little looser than normal. He was relaxed in his chair, long legs stretched out under the table and crossed at the ankle. Gabriel was in a loose-limbed sprawl across from him.

“It's the hardest part.” Spencer said, gesturing with his glass towards Gabriel. “Everyone... everyone goes. I love them while they're here, but I admit, I envy them their deaths in the end.”

Gabriel snorted loudly. He took a drink from his glass – some green cocktail this time – and shook his head. “I don’t. Been there, done that, not really looking to do it again.”

“You’ve died?” Spencer let his eyebrows shoot up. An archangel had died and come back? How did that work?

“Yeah.” For a second Gabriel just looked at him and then he sighed. “You gave me some of your tragic backstory. Guess it’s only fair I give you some of mine.” He was going for joking but the extra lines in his forehead and the tension in his body gave him away. Spencer watched as Gabriel sat back in his seat and reached out to play with the umbrella in his drink. “You know anything about the ‘apocalypse that wasn’t’ a few years back?”

Who didn't? Spencer had plenty of connections in the hunting community. He knew quite a bit of the story. “Enough bits and pieces to paint a partial picture.”

“Right. Well, I was stupid enough to get caught up in that. I dicked around on both sides, you could say. Tried to stop these two idiots before they managed to start breaking seals. Then, once they screwed that all up, I tried to sort of… push them to give in.” At Spencer's incredulous look, Gabriel scowled and pointed a finger at him. “Hey! Don’t judge. I just, I wanted the whole damn thing to be over. And I joined the good side in the end!” His hand dropped down and that pained look was back in his eyes again. “Not that it did me any good. I got caught up with the vessels…”

“Well there was your first mistake.” Spencer said before he could stop himself. He flushed the instant that Gabriel’s eyes shot to him. Dammit, he really needed to stop drinking while having these kinds of conversations. Alcohol always loosened his tongue. “My apologies. I just – the Winchesters have a bit of a reputation.”

Gabriel snorted at that. “That’s putting it mildly. They’re not bad kids, not really. I think you’d like Sammy. He’s a nerd too.”

Wrinkling his nose, Spencer shot Gabriel an annoyed look. “Why do people say that? I always found that statement to be ridiculous. What on earth does him being a nerd have anything to do with how well we’d get along? That’s like the assumption that people make that two people being gay automatically means they’re going to be the best of friends, as if one single trait suddenly ties two people together somehow.”

Amusement curved Gabriel’s lips. He held both his hands up, palms out. “Point taken, kiddo.” He dropped his hands back down and flicked at the umbrella in his drink again. “Anyways. Sam – who you may or may not like, who knows – and his annoying big brother managed to get themselves neck deep in a pile of pagan crap. I stepped in to save their asses, because I’m awesome. To make a long story short, the pagans wanted to use them as some sort of bait or something to take down Luci, so they trapped them, and then I flew in and got trapped and outed, and Kali tried to kill me in front of them all. In the end, my brother managed to do the job for her when he showed up and I held him off so Thing 1 and Thing 2 could get their asses out of there.”

The whole thing was delivered in the same joking tone that Gabriel said a lot of things with. Spencer was beginning to realize just how much that joking tone actually hid. The fake laughter, the even faker smile, the relaxed posture, those were masks that hid things he didn’t want people to see. Still, Spencer was looking at his eyes, and those seemed to tell a different story entirely. One that spoke of a lot more pain. It wasn’t hard for Spencer to picture Gabriel trying to hold his brother off, most likely thinking that the worst he’d get was beat up, still firmly believing that his brother wouldn’t dare to kill him. Only, in the end, he had.

Spencer's heart ached and he found himself fighting the urge to reach across the table and take Gabriel’s hand in his. “I’m so sorry, Gabriel.” Those words weren’t much, yet they were all he could offer.

“Meh.” Gabriel shrugged in another attempt to pretend it didn’t matter. “Kali had some of my blood and she used it to bring me back later, once it was all said and done. Took a while but I finally found the scattered bits of my grace and put myself back together. Besides, I couldn’t just leave him there for Luci, could I?”

Him, not them. Spencer caught that subtle change in wording and pieced it together with the rest of what Gabriel had said and the way he’d looked while he said it. Before he could stop himself, the soft realization slipped out past his lips instead of staying locked inside his head. “You cared for him.”

“What?” Gabriel froze, one hand curled around his drink. His body was still enough that it was almost creepy. A reminder that this being in front of him wasn’t human – was, in fact, playing at being human most of the time.

Spencer licked his lips and watched Gabriel’s face. “Sam. You, you cared about him.”

To his credit, Gabriel didn’t deny it, even though Spencer could see that instinctive urge on his face. “It didn’t matter. He’s human.” He said it simply, shrugging like it wasn’t a big deal. His eyes gave him away, though. They darted down and away from Spencer and his lashes hid what was going on inside. He didn’t say anything more and neither did Spencer. Those two words were enough. If there was one thing Spencer could understand, it was this. He’d felt the same thing plenty of times. It was what kept him from making connections to people. It’d been what had kept him from allowing Gabriel in too close, at least until now.

Sam was human – in just a short amount of time, he would die. Considering he was a hunter, that time would probably come sooner than for most. And Gabriel would be left behind.

Swallowing down the lump in his throat, Spencer held up his glass and tipped it Gabriel’s way. “To humans.”

Gabriel huffed, but a corner of his mouth still quirked up. He lifted his glass and clinked it against the edge of Spencer's. “To humans.”

A strong and firm grip kept Spencer balanced as he found himself steered out of the bar and out into the night. The cold air was like a slap in the face. Immediately he pressed himself a little closer to Gabriel, just on the right side of drunk to not be embarrassed by the amount of touching he was doing. “Why is it always so damn cold here?” He grumbled.

Gabriel's arm drew him in a little more until Spencer was pressed right up against the side of him. The archangel was surprisingly warm, a fact Spencer had noticed more than once. He seemed to always run a little warmer than humans did. At the moment Spencer very much appreciated it. He appreciated it enough that he didn't even grumble when Gabriel chuckled and teased him. “If you had a little more meat on you, you might not freeze so much.”

“Not my fault. I just don't gain weight.” He huddled down into his sweater and leaned just a bit more of his weight against Gabriel. This was a sort of awkward height difference in some ways. Gabriel's arm fit nicely around his waist though.

Chuckling, Gabriel turned him towards the direction of his car. “Let's get you somewhere warm before you shiver your way to the ground. I doubt you want me carrying you.”

“Might be fun.”

The words were out before Spencer could stop them. He didn't notice Gabriel's surprised look, too busy enjoying the feeling of the man, archangel, up against his side.

Once they reached the car Gabriel got Spencer settled down into the passenger's seat and made sure he was buckled before he went around and slipped into the driver's seat.

The ride to Spencer's place was surprisingly comfortable and quiet. Spencer didn't feel the need to fill that silence and it seemed neither did Gabriel. Instead, Spencer spent the whole ride watching his companion. He'd been attracted to Gabriel the first time he met him, back when he'd just been Tomas, and that hadn't changed at all. If anything the attraction had grown stronger as Spencer got to know the being that Gabriel was. It wasn't just his body that was attractive - it was his personality, too. Not to say he didn't have his bad side. But no one was perfect. Nor had Spencer ever wanted to be with someone who might be.

When Gabriel pulled the car into the parking lot of Spencer's building, he parked the car but didn't shut it off. “Here you go, Half-Pint. Home sweet home.”

Any other time and Spencer would've thanked him and gotten out of the car. He would've smiled and been polite but he would've simply left, just as Gabriel so obviously expected him to do. However, once again Spencer found himself speaking without thinking, voicing the wish he wouldn't normally dare to allow himself. “Aren't you going to come up?”

For the second time that night he got to see as something he said visibly stunned Gabriel. This time, however, the archangel recovered much quicker, only a brief widening of his eyes showing his surprise. “You are way too drunk to be asking me that, kiddo.”

Actually speaking out loud the words that he wanted to say seemed to have given Spencer some courage. He knew part of it came from the wine. But it wasn't making him say or do anything he didn't want. It just made it easier to admit it all out loud. “Would it make you feel better if I let you sober me up before I asked you?”

“You wouldn't be asking me if I sobered you up.” Gabriel shot back. His hands clenched on the wheel and his body gave away the tension he was working so hard to hide in his voice. “You made it clear a while ago what you wanted here, Spencer, and I haven't been pushing it.”

That was true. But, Spencer was done fighting things. He knew he was already way too close to Gabriel. There was going to be no stopping the pain now. When Gabriel left him – when, not if – it was going to hurt so damn much. More than anyone had been able to hurt him for a long, long time. Spencer couldn’t even deny it anymore.

If he was going to suffer that pain, he wanted to at least taste a little joy first.

He hesitated only briefly before he reached out, long fingers brushing some of Gabriel's hair back from his face and trailing lightly over his cheek. He felt the small shiver Gabriel gave and was pleased by it. “Take me upstairs, Gabriel.”

“Son of a bitch.” Even as Gabriel groaned, he turned his head, nuzzling against Spencer's palm. “You're killing me here.”

“Do you not want me?” The idea hadn't even occurred to Spencer right until that moment. He froze, hand against Gabriel's cheek, and wondered if he was making a giant fool of himself.

Gabriel nipped sharply at the side of Spencer's palm before soothing it with a kiss. “So not a problem here, Spencer.”

Warmth bloomed in Spencer's stomach. “Then what is?”

“You’re gonna regret this in the morning.”

“Probably.” A grin flashed over Spencer's features. “But not for the reasons you think, and not as much as I’d regret passing up the opportunity. ‘Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.’ Sydney J. Harris.”

The low groan that Gabriel gave was extremely satisfying, as was the flash in those gorgeous eyes of his. Spencer was more than pleased when Gabriel shivered. “That’s not fair. You’re too damn hot when you geek out.”

Spencer pushed his fingers back until he could thread them in Gabriel's hair. It was something he'd secretly wanted to do more than once now. He'd wanted to see if Gabriel’s hair was anywhere near as soft as it looked. And it was. “Take me upstairs, Gabriel.”  He said again. This time the words were a whisper, just a small puff of air between them. Yet Spencer could see as those golden eyes lifted to his and he knew the instant that Gabriel gave up on fighting. The next second there was a hand on the back of Spencer's neck, drawing him in for a hard kiss that left Spencer reeling. He didn't fight it, didn't struggle. He simply melted down into Gabriel as best as he could with their present location.

He heard Gabriel's groan and tasted a spark of something on his tongue. Then Spencer heard a snap and the world was suddenly shifting all around them.

When he pulled back, he found they were in his apartment. Not just in his apartment but sitting down on his couch.

There was no time for Spencer to be surprised or impressed by that casual display of powers. He'd barely had a chance to look around before Gabriel was dragging him in for another kiss. This time, without the awkwardness of being seated in the car, it was much easier for Spencer to melt down into his partner. He caught hold of Gabriel's shoulders to brace himself and then just let himself get swept away.

Spencer lost himself in the heated press of lips, the firm hand over the back of his neck, and the talented tongue that kept flicking and teasing at his lips without ever dipping in to satisfy them both.

By the time Gabriel pulled back and broke their kiss, Spencer was just slightly breathless.

“Tell me you want this, Spencer.” Gabriel murmured against his lips. “Tell me and I promise, I won’t ask again. I just, I need to know...”

Spencer smiled and leaned in just enough to brush his lips against Gabriel’s. “I want you, Gabriel. Even though I’ve tried not to, I do. Now will you quit asking me if I’m sure and finally take me to bed?”

The feel and taste of Gabriel’s laughter was like little jolts of electricity pleasantly humming against Spencer's lips. “You’re sassy when you’re drunk.” He nipped Spencer's bottom lip and then traced it with his tongue. “I think I like it.”

“I have less of a filter when I drink wine, I’ve been told.” And fewer inhibitions. It was why he tended to only drink a little wine, not let himself get actually drunk. Because a sober Spencer would’ve been blushing furiously at the mere idea of pushing himself forward and swinging a leg over until he straddled Gabriel’s lap. Drunk Spencer, however, had no issue with it whatsoever.

Neither, apparently, did Gabriel. “Mm. Definitely like it.” His hands settled on Spencer's hips and he pulled him in a little closer until they could both feel the hard heat of one another. Spencer gasped in a breath that he quickly lost when Gabriel kissed him again.

Any words he’d had were also lost. Spencer lifted his hands and let his fingers slide into Gabriel’s hair, cradling his head. Then he let himself go and focused on nothing but the heat and the passion building up between them. He felt Gabriel moan against him and the fingers on his hips tightened, pulling him in a little closer and holding him in place.

Gabriel’s tongue traced over his lips, seeking entrance, and Spencer opened himself to it. He let himself get lost in the kiss and didn’t notice at first as Gabriel’s hands slid up. It was as they pushed over his shoulders, taking his sweater with them, that he realized what was going on. Spencer got the hint and let go of Gabriel's head long enough to drop his arms back and let the sweater slip off of his arms and drop down to the ground. The instant it was gone his hands were right back at Gabriel’s head, cupping his cheeks.

Their kiss broke and Spencer was a little proud of the fact that Gabriel was breathing just as heavily as he was. The fact that the being under him didn’t even need to breathe made it all the better. Spencer bent down enough to press their foreheads together, putting him in the perfect position to stare at the eyes he’d fantasized about plenty of times. Gabriel’s eyes were like melted honey, warm and sweet and full of a emotion that had Spencer shivering. There was something else there, something in them that gave Spencer a different type of shiver entirely, reminding him that this wasn’t some mortal man underneath him. This was a being with the type of power that most could only dream of. One of the oldest creatures in the universe. And he was here, with Spencer, looking up at him like Spencer was the most delicious dessert and he couldn’t wait to devour every inch of him.

The corners of Gabriel’s eyes wrinkled up as a grin curved his lips. “That sounds like a hell of a plan to me.”

Spencer's mouth dropped open, closed, and then opened again. Oh, hell. “Are you listening to my thoughts?”

“Gorgeous, the hornier you get, the louder your thoughts seem to get. You’re practically screaming them at me.” A devilish look crossed his face and Spencer drew back just enough to watch as Gabriel wiggled his eyebrows at him and smirked. At the same time, his hand tightened on Spencer's hip and he rolled his own hips up, making Spencer gasp. “Not that I mind. I like my partners loud.”

There was a hint of Spencer's usual embarrassment tugging at him, the self-conscious nerves that he usually had, but the wine and the desire he felt were muting them nicely, giving him the courage to smile and brush the tip of his nose against Gabriel’s, murmuring “So do I” before he leaned in for another kiss.

There were no more words for the next little while. Spencer's lips were too busy for him to say much of anything. Not that he would’ve if he could’ve. It felt like his brain had short circuited. Too much wine, too much Gabriel. He couldn’t have formed any intelligent thoughts if he’d tried. Gabriel was a damn good kisser, tasting and teasing him, alternating between gentle kisses that melted Spencer's brain, to hard and deep kisses that stole his breath away and left him loose limbed and gasping in Gabriel’s lap. At the same time, his hands were moving, curling over Spencer's hips and then down over the outside of Spencer's thighs. They left lines of heat as he traced his palms down to Spencer's knees and back up again to cup his backside.

Spencer didn’t remain still, though. He’d been the one to start this and, while making out on the couch was great, Spencer wanted more.

He let his hands drop down from Gabriel’s face to reach for the archangel’s jacket. As soon as Gabriel realized what Spencer was doing, he moved to start helping. Somehow, Gabriel managed to not once break their kiss even as he sat himself up just enough that he could slip his jacket off and toss it to the side. Spencer let him do it on his own – his hands were too busy reaching for the buttons on Gabriel’s shirt. He’d imagined many, many times about what this might be like and he couldn’t wait to get his hands on Gabriel’s skin.

Spencer made a brief sound of frustration when he encountered an undershirt. He really needed to get Gabriel out of his clothes – now. There was too much in the way of what he wanted here. Being on the couch didn’t help. If he could get himself up, force himself to let go of the archangel, he could drag him back to bed where they could do this properly with plenty of space for them to stretch out.

There was a soft huff against his lips and the taste of their kiss changed to something sharp and sweet, like the first bite of a fresh apple. “Here, let me help.” Gabriel murmured against his lips. Out of the corner of his eye Spencer could see as Gabriel lifted his left hand. Then he snapped.

It only took Spencer a second to realize what had happened. Even with that bit of liquid courage in him, he felt his cheeks heating with a blush as he realized not only had Gabriel snapped away his own shirts, he’d snapped away Spencer’s as well.

He didn’t give Spencer time to be embarrassed. The hands on Spencer’s hips moved up to slide over the skin of his sides and up his back, pushing just enough that Spencer had to brace his hands on the back of the couch or risk falling forward. Gabriel didn’t seem to mind that change in position at all. His hips rolled up in response and his mouth moved from Spencer’s lips to his jawline, nipping and teasing his way towards Spencer’s neck. Pleasure warmed Spencer’s blood and he forgot completely about feeling embarrassed. His hips rolled forward, pressing them together, and the two men groaned.

“That’s it.” Gabriel murmured, nosing at the bottom of Spencer’s ear. His hands pressed on Spencer’s back again, one sliding lower to press at the top of his pants, encouraging Spencer to move.  “So gorgeous like this, Spencer. Look at you. You’re just, ah, coming apart here for me, aren’t you? So damn beautiful.”

A sound that definitely wasn’t a whimper slid up Spencer’s throat. He rolled his hips again and let his head fall back, opening the long expanse of his neck to Gabriel’s talented mouth. “Gabriel.” The archangel’s name came out as a moan and a plea both. It’d been so long since Spencer had let himself feel this way. So long since anyone had taken the time to touch him, to hold him, to make him feel like this. He reveled in every second of it. “Gabriel, please. Please!”

Sound vibrated against Spencer’s throat. He felt Gabriel bury his face there. Warm - blazing hot - hands slid back to Spencer’s hips, helping him keep up that rocking motion driving them both higher and higher. “What, sweetheart?” Teeth nipped against Spencer’s collarbone. “What do you want?”

Oh. Spencer shuddered under the feel of those teeth. Well, two could play at that game. He’d been paying attention enough to log away the things that Gabriel reacted to. He used that now, taking one hand off the back of the couch to thread it into Gabriel’s hair and yank his head back, forcing him to look up. At the same time Spencer let his hips give a particularly filthy twist that made them both moan loudly. Then he bent down and brushed his lips against Gabriel’s. “Take me to bed, Gabriel.”

“My pleasure.”

The surrounding air changed. One second they were on the couch and the next Spencer was kneeling over top of Gabriel, who was now lying on Spencer’s bed. The change in position brought them together much more intimately and Spencer was quite happy with that. He had only a moment to think how amazing angelic powers were proving to be so far before he suddenly found himself flipped onto his back and pinned to the bed.

There was only one moment where Spencer’s heart jumped in his chest out of panic instead of pleasure. Memories flashed through his mind of times he’d been held down, pinned to something. Times when an angel had forced him down before they’d let their grace rip through every inch of Spencer’s being.

That fear only lasted a moment, though. None of those people were here now. This was Gabriel and he was nothing like them. If there was one thing that Spencer felt he knew, that he could trust straight down to his soul, it was that he was safe here. That Gabriel wasn’t going to hurt him. Spencer had no idea how he could be so confident in something he’d still been a bit hesitant on hours ago. All he knew was that he believed it.

Spencer spread his legs and let Gabriel settle down between them, showing that trust in the best way he knew how.

The heated way that Gabriel looked at him made it clear he got the message.

Either the alcohol was finally starting to leave his system, or Spencer’s natural modesty was just kicking in. He wasn’t sure which one. But either way, Spencer found himself blushing again when Gabriel crawled up him and looked down at him with those beautiful eyes flashing hot and bright. Then Gabriel was kissing him again and Spencer lost his train of thought once more.

Gabriel was good at keeping him distracted. With mouth and fingers and teeth he worked his way down Spencer’s body like he was cataloging each response he got, finding what made Spencer react. Which places got moans, which ones had him sucking in a sharp breath, which had him squirming away. He drove Spencer mad with the growing pleasure so that, by the time he reached his pants, Spencer was too far gone to care about being stripped. He didn’t protest, just kicked his legs in an attempt to help.

It all started to come back when Gabriel actually sat back on his heels and just looked Spencer over. Spencer felt his cheeks warm with the blush he hated so much and he had to fight the urge to cover himself somehow. As if sensing that, Gabriel held a hand out towards him. “No, don’t. I just want to look at you for a moment. You’re gorgeous, sweetheart.” The compliment and the endearment only made Spencer blush even harder, which had Gabriel chuckling. “What? Thousands of years and no one’s bothered to tell you that before?”

“You talk too much.” Spencer said instead of answering. “And you’re far overdressed for this.”

Gabriel’s eyes sparkled with mirth. “Oh, pardon me. Is this better?” Another snap and his clothes were gone leaving him kneeling completely nude there in front of him.

This time it was Spencer who took a moment to just look. Merciful Heavens but Gabriel’s vessel was beautiful. He was soft in all the right places, a perfect counter to all Spencer’s long limbs and sharp angles. His skin looked soft, with a light dusting of hair on his chest and a little trail of it that led down to a cock Spencer wanted nothing more than to wrap his lips around. Not extremely long, but thick. Unconsciously, Spencer licked his lips.

“I forgot how good it feels to have someone look at you like that.” Gabriel said, voice husky.

Spencer lifted his eyes, letting them run slowly up Gabriel’s body to finally settle on his face. “Like what?”

“Like I really am the god I used to pretend to be.”

For a man who was usually so good with words none seemed to be coming to mind for Spencer at the moment. There didn’t seem to be any words that could accurately describe any of this. So Spencer did the only thing left to him. He held a hand to Gabriel and waited, looking up at him through long lashes, until Gabriel reached out and took it. Then Spencer used that hold to draw him down.

The first brush of their bodies against one another, that press of hard flesh against hard flesh, and they were both moaning. Spencer let go of Gabriel’s hand so it was free to press down into the bed, bracing him up, and Spencer slid his hand up the soft skin of that arm, over the subtle muscle hidden there, and then up to his shoulders and around to his back. At the same time he rose up just enough to capture his lips once more.

Running his fingers over the little bumps of Gabriel’s spine got him the most interesting reaction so far. Gabriel groaned raggedly into their kiss and his hips jerked hard against Spencer. Interesting. Spencer drew Gabriel’s bottom lip between his teeth while running his fingers deliberately over Gabriel’s spine again. “Spencer” Gabriel groaned raggedly.

Spencer pulled back and brushed his nose against the tip of Gabriel’s. “Sensitive?”

“Wings.”

Ah, well. That explained it. Spencer smiled to himself and brought his other hand up as well. This time he ran the palms of both hands up Gabriel’s back, to his shoulders, and then back down again. It drew more moans and had Gabriel’s hips rolling and pushing, pressing right into the dip of Spencer’s hip. Gabriel dropped his head down to bury his face against Spencer’s neck. “You devious little shit.” Somehow, the rough words came out sounding fond.

A light laugh bubbled up Spencer's chest. The reactions he was getting had him a little more confident. He lifted one leg, hooking it over one of Gabriel’s, and he hitched his hips up until - oh! Oh, yes, that was perfect. Their cocks pressed together just right. This time Spencer was the one moaning, his head dropping back as he pushed his hips up while digging his nails into Gabriel’s back.

Any sign of finesse was starting to fade away. Whatever plans either of them had faded as they rocked against one another. All Spencer could focus on was the pleasure building higher, pushing him up to that peak, and he chased it with a joyful abandon. His hands clenched down on Gabriel’s back as the heat built to a boiling point and there was no holding back, no stopping it as his release tore out of him. Spencer threw his head back on a loud moan and let go, letting the pleasure break him apart.

Above him, Spencer could vaguely hear Gabriel's answering moan through the sound of his own heartbeat in his ears. Through heavy eyes he looked up and watched Gabriel’s face, watched as the light in his eyes grew into something beautiful, something bright. Then a palm was clamping down over Spencer’s eyes and he felt Gabriel go tense just before a bright flash of light lit up the room.

Spencer was too blissed out to care about it. He made a happy sound in his throat when he felt Gabriel lay down on him. They’d have to move to clean up, he knew. Once he could feel his legs again. At the moment he was more than content to lay there blissed out in the first orgasm he’d had in far longer than he wanted to admit to. Gabriel was a nice, solid weight over him, his ear pressed against Spencer’s chest, and the both of them just lay there as their breathing started to slow and settle.

It took a good, long while before either of them spoke. Even then, their voices were lower, just a bit husky. “That was…” Spencer trailed off, not sure what to say.

Gabriel didn’t have that problem. “Awesome. That was awesome.” He sighed and nuzzled against Spencer’s skin. “Been a long time since I’ve exploded grace like that… speaking of, we might have a bit of a power outage going on.”

Huh. Spencer hadn’t even noticed the darkness of the room. The moon was shining in the window enough to keep them somewhat lit.

“How’d you manage to stay hidden if playing with your back causes that type of reaction?” Spencer asked curiously.

“Was hiding my wings before. ‘M not now.” Gabriel mumbled. He twisted his head just enough that he could look up at Spencer. “You know you got an accent right now? It’s kinda hot.”

An accent? “I do?” The two words showed that, yes, there was a hint of an accent slipping in. “I do. Huh. I forgot that happens.”

“British?”

“Mm. I spent a long time in England. The accent kind of stuck around after a while.” Spencer curled an arm around Gabriel. His body felt loose-limbed and relaxed. “Comes out when I’m relaxed or tired. Or trying to keep control.” A yawn cut off what he was saying. When it was done, he sighed. “We should go clean up.”

A click of the fingers and Spencer found them both as clean as if they’d just showered. Then Gabriel’s arm was slung over his waist and one leg went over his, pinning him down. “Sleep now.” Gabriel probably meant it to sound like a command, but it came out sounding just a bit adorable. Spencer kept that thought to himself.

Closing his eyes, Spencer sighed and smiled. No matter what came of this, he knew he wasn’t going to regret it. It’d been so long since he’d felt this good. He was going to enjoy every moment of it.

He was still smiling as he drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Text

It’d been a long time since Spencer had woken up in bed with someone else. Or, more accurately, since he’d woken up with someone in his bed who wasn’t a child. Dave had often snuck into his bed with him when he was young and scared. There were plenty of children in the Reid family that had done the same when ‘Uncle Spencer’ came to visit them. For all his awkwardness with kids, there were a few that seemed drawn to him.

But waking up to that was different from waking up to this. Spencer was naked, for one. For two, he could feel a warm body spooned up behind him. A sleep-heavy arm was tossed over his and a leg was nudged up to rest right behind Spencer’s curled up leg.

There was only a moment of peace before reality started to sink in. Spencer kept himself still and tried not to let his breathing change to show he was awake. There was no haze over his mind to block out the night’s events. He’d been drunk off the wine, yes, but not enough to black out. Not enough to forget about the fact that he’d apparently turned into some sort of shameless hussy and seduced Gabriel into his apartment. Spencer wanted to groan and bury his face down into the pillows. Oh, God. After all his preaching and warnings to himself about not getting involved, about keeping his distance and protecting his heart, he’d gone and stupidly fallen into bed with Gabriel. Gabriel! The one being on the planet that he could see himself actually hoping for some sort of happily-ever-after with. Hope was a painful thing – Spencer had learned that lesson well. This was going to break him before it was all said and done.

There was no movement behind him or any sort of sign to show Gabriel was awake. Yet Spencer suddenly felt a puff of air against his hair and then Gabriel was speaking in a sleep heavy voice. “I told you you’d regret this.”

So much for faking being asleep. He should’ve known better than to think Gabriel wouldn’t realize he was awake. It seemed he wasn’t reading Spencer’s mind, though. Otherwise, he would’ve known this wasn’t regret – at least, not in the way that Gabriel was thinking of it.

Spencer sighed and blinked his eyes open, staring at the bit of blanket pulled up in front of him. “I don’t actually regret it.”

“But?”

Was there any point in telling Gabriel any of the fears he was feeling? Likely he knew it all too well. He had to have been there before plenty of times in his long existence. Hashing it out here would do nothing but bring a chill to his bed and Spencer just didn’t want to do that. He wanted to be selfish at least for a moment here. He wanted to just lie there and enjoy the feel of the strong yet soft body holding him close. “No buts.” Reaching down, he caught hold of Gabriel’s hand and pulled up until that arm was resting more snugly around him. For a few minutes he was going to pretend.

“Mm.” Gabriel nuzzled in against his hair and Spencer felt as a soft kiss was pressed to the back of his neck. “You’re cuddly. I like it.”

“You’re warm.”

He felt Gabriel chuckle. “Generally. Grace and pagan power makes a warm combo.”

Spencer hummed and just snuggled in a little more. This felt too good a morning to waste with worries and fears. He knew his brain wasn’t going to quiet down enough for him to go back to sleep but he could at least lay here a while and enjoy himself.

Luckily for him it seemed like Gabriel was equally content to lie here for a while. This had always been Spencer’s favorite part of having a partner. It was the thing he missed so much when he was alone. The feel of having someone there next to him, of having a warm body and a solid presence that reminded him that he wasn’t alone. Was it the same for Gabriel?

The arm around him tightened a little and Gabriel’s leg pushed up some, nudging at his. “You know, I’m doing my damnedest to be a good little trickster back here and not pick at your thoughts, but if you keep thinking about me it’s going to get very difficult. I can feel you thinking something about me.”

“Really?”

The idea surprised Spencer. Because he knew he’d thought a lot about Gabriel ever since the archangel had showed up in his life. Did that mean he’d known each time Spencer had thought about him?

Gabriel huffed out a husky little laugh that still sounded tinted by sleep. And really, since when did angels need sleep? “Yeah. I know you humans value privacy in your thoughts, so I’ve been doing my best to stay out. Usually it’s not too bad; you’ve got some damn good shields. Magic training at some point, I’m guessing?”

“Spend enough time on this earth you start to pick up on things. I like to learn things, so…” Spencer trailed off and shrugged one shoulder.

Again, Gabriel chuckled. “Nerd.”

Normally Spencer might take offense to that type of comment. However, Gabriel sounded far too pleased by it, like this was something special about Spencer, something he liked. He made it sound like it wasn’t a bad thing.

There was no telling how long the two of them might’ve stayed there together in bed. Neither one seemed all that willing to move away from one another. Spencer felt warm, comfortable, and safe. He was wrapped up in the arms of a gorgeous being who, for some unknown reason, wanted him. Spencer wanted to just lie there and leave the real world outside for a little while. Unfortunately, the real world never worked like that. From the living room came the sound of two different cell phones starting to ring just seconds apart.

Spencer groaned. The only reason that both their phones would be going off so close together was because there was a case.

When the sound of his phone suddenly went from far away to right in front of him, Spencer sighed and reached out for it. “Dr. Reid.”

“Hey, kid.” Derek’s voice came over the line, warm and easy. “I just got the call from Garcia an I told her I’d take care of calling you. We’ve got a case. You want me to swing by and pick you up?”

Behind him, Spencer could hear the low murmur of Gabriel, who sounded like he was talking to Penelope. Spencer smothered a yawn and rubbed at his face with his free hand. “No, thank you, Morgan. That won’t be necessary. Gabriel and I will just ride together.”

Spencer didn’t even think about how that comment would be taken – by either the person on the phone or the person in bed with him. He felt Gabriel’s body go still and gave an absent thought to wondering what Penelope was saying to him that was upsetting him. He wasn’t even pretending to breathe anymore. But he was distracted from thinking about it by Derek saying “Gabriel? He’s… there?”

“Mm hm.” Another yawn tried to break through. Man, he needed coffee. Lots of coffee. “Are we heading straight to the jet or do we need to come to the Bureau first?”

“Right to the jet.”

“Alright. We’ll be there shortly.”

Spencer closed his phone and started the annoying process of making himself get out of bed. It was more than tempting to just lay there and keep Gabriel’s arm around him. But the real world had intruded on their morning and it wasn’t going to just go away. Spencer drew out from underneath Gabriel’s arm with a last, regretful sigh, and then he sat up at the edge of the bed, still clutching at the blankets. Moving away from Gabriel made him realize how cold the rest of the apartment felt. “Did we even turn the heat on last night? It’s freezing in here.” A snap sounded behind him and suddenly the apartment was a lot warmer. Spencer smiled to himself and turned to look over his shoulder at the man who was sitting up on the other side of the bed. “Thanks, Gabriel… Gabriel?” Spencer went still, staring at Gabriel. Because instead of the sleepy or amused look that he’d expected, Gabriel was sitting there staring at him with wide eyes.

“You told him.” Gabriel said slowly. He stared right at Spencer, his eyes never leaving Spencer’s face.

Told him? What was he talking about? Spencer furrowed his brow as he tried to figure it out. “What are you talking about?”

“You told Morgan I was here. You didn’t even hesitate.”

That’s what this was about? With one hand he reached up and rubbed at his eyes before pushing his hair back from his face. “Of course I did. Wait,” Realization hit and Spencer froze. “Was I not supposed to?” Maybe… maybe Gabriel hadn’t wanted anyone to know. Maybe he’d wanted to keep this a secret.

Before he could begin to worry, Gabriel held his hands up and shook his head, protests falling almost immediately from his lips. “No, no! I don’t mind! I just, I didn’t expect it.”

There was something about the way he said that – a soft note to his words, a downward glance of his eyes – that told Spencer a lot more than Gabriel probably realized. Due to that, Spencer’s next words were a bit softer, yet firm. “I’m not ashamed of you, Gabriel. Or of what we did. I may prefer not to speak about these kinds of things to people - I like my privacy. But I’ve lived far too many lifetimes forced to hide who I am or who I care about out of fear of judgment. I won’t do it anymore. Especially not with someone I have no reason to feel ashamed of.” He could see the emotion that built in Gabriel’s eyes, or that shone through in the little twists of his fingers around the blankets and the almost shy smile that touched those usually smirking lips. Spencer smiled and, because he’d gotten to know Gabriel enough lately to know he didn’t always like this personal stuff, he tried to lighten the moment just a bit with humor. “Besides, they’re going to know the instant we walk in there that we’ve slept together. There’s absolutely no hiding this from a group of profilers.”

That got him the chuckle that he wanted. Still, when Gabriel looked up again his expression was so honest and open and happy, more than Spencer could remember seeing it since the moment they’d met. Some of those shadows that always sat in his eyes – shadows that made much more sense after hearing his story last night – weren’t present. “I’m not ashamed of you either, Spencer. And I don’t regret this.”

“Good. Now that we’ve got that established, can we please get ready to go so that we can still have time to stop off for coffee?”

The musical sound of Gabriel’s laughter echoed through the bedroom. The archangel caught Spencer by surprise when he pushed forward on the bed and quickly stole a kiss. “Don’t worry, we’ll get you your precious coffee.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“I could name other things you could hold me to.”

Spencer threw a pillow at Gabriel's retreating form, not able to stop his own laughter.

Gabriel lived up to his promise and stopped off for coffee on their way to the jet. He not only got some for them, he also got some for the rest of the team as well. The fact that he remembered all their coffee orders made Spencer smile a little to himself. Gabriel noticed Spencer’s smile and he grinned right back at him. “Hey, I’ve got no issue sucking up a little.”

“What for?”

Pausing in turning the car back on, Gabriel looked at Spencer with his eyebrows up and a look that clearly asked ‘are you kidding me?’ Then he snorted and shook his head. “How on earth you’ve managed to live as long as you have and still be innocent is one of Dad’s mysteries.” He said, twisting the key and starting the car.

Spencer turned in his seat enough that he could face Gabriel. “Do you enjoy speaking cryptically, or is it something special just for me?”

“Enjoy it - definitely.” Gabriel flashed him a grin. “But, for once I’m not even trying. You’re just not catching on.” He reached out with one hand and patted Spencer on the leg. “That’s okay, though. It’s cute.”

Unsure if he was being insulted or complemented, or both, Spencer slumped down in his seat a little and took the coffee from the tray that was his. He didn’t remark on the ‘doctor cutie’ written on the side of the cup. “If you’re not going to speak plainly, why bother speaking at all?”

“Because you’re kind of adorable when you get that little wrinkly confused face.” Gabriel said promptly. He laughed at the glare Spencer shot his way. “All right, all right, calm down. I just meant I’m sucking up to the team so they don’t try and shoot me for defiling their precious little doctor. You might be older than all of them, but they see you as the baby of the group - one they’re rather protective of. If buying them coffee and smiling pretty stops them from trying to shoot me, I’m all for it.”

“They’re not going to shoot you. Don’t be ridiculous.” Of course they wouldn’t. Spencer rolled his eyes and relaxed down into his seat. He didn’t pay any attention to the traffic going by. Instead, he just let himself focus on Gabriel. It was always a pleasure to watch him.

Gabriel snorted and took the next turn, bringing them back on the route towards the jet. “Says you.”

“Gabriel, Morgan encouraged me to do this.” Well, maybe not this exactly. Spencer highly doubted Derek had been encouraging him to get drunk and throw himself at their friend. But he had been the one to push Spencer to stop hiding so much. “Hotch might worry a little about the ramifications of this at the Bureau, but other than that they’re all going to be supportive. They’ll tease you, of course. It’s what they do with people they like. And their acceptance will have nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that you brought them coffee, but with the fact that you’ve become a part of this team and they both like and respect you.”

His words seemed to have stunned Gabriel into silence. He didn’t say anything and neither did Spencer. But when Gabriel reached out for him, Spencer easily took his hand and held it for the rest of the ride.

Their arrival on the jet went over about as well as Spencer expected it to. Usually, no one would be that surprised to see Spencer and Gabriel arriving together. Not with the amount of time that they’d been spending with one another lately. But, though Spencer knew that Derek wouldn’t go telling secrets, he’d probably had to answer ‘where’s Spencer?’ from at least one of them, and Spencer could just imagine the look that would’ve been on his face as he told them that Spencer was riding in with Gabriel. He wouldn’t have been intentionally trying to give anything away, but that didn’t mean that they wouldn’t have read something on him.

Sure enough, all eyes went to them the minute they stepped onto the jet. Derek’s gaze was both amused and calculating, something that Spencer knew spelled teasing and trouble in his future. Emily was smirking in a smug sort of way, like they’d just proved something to her, and JJ looked almost like someone had hit her. As for Dave - Spencer took one look at the smirk he wore and then avoided looking at him. That was definitely not a conversation he wanted to get into at the moment. To make it even worse, there on the table was the laptop sitting open and with Penelope’s face on the screen. They’d video called her for the sole purpose of this; Spencer just knew it. Oh, damn them.

If Spencer hadn’t seen Gabriel’s nerves earlier he wouldn’t have even suspected they were there with the way the archangel strolled in like nothing was the matter and set the tray of drinks down on the table. “Morning, mortals. I come bearing gifts.” He smirked as he dropped down into the empty seat at Emily’s side. “Have fun figuring out which one is yours.”

“Someone seems cheerful this morning.” Emily teased him.

The only response Gabriel gave was a wiggle of his eyebrows.

Derek, who was sitting across from Emily, looked up at Spencer and gave a grin that had the genius wanting to turn around and walk the other direction. “Reid!” There was undisguised glee in his voice. “Come sit with me. I saved you a spot.”

It took everything Spencer had not to roll his eyes. “Thanks, Morgan.” He said dryly. Still, he moved forward and took the seat. It’d be better to just get it over with. As much as he knew his friends were going to tease him, he also knew that they wouldn’t let it go too far. All of them knew him well enough to understand and respect where his limits and boundaries were. Spencer would put up with only so much teasing about his personal life.

Emily grinned broadly at him. “So, how was your night, Dr. Reid?”

“Yeah, kid. You do anything, special?” Derek asked, lips twitching with the urge to smile.

For a moment Spencer contemplated his friends as well as the slightly smug man directly across from him. His friends just wanted to tease him, he knew, and maybe embarrass him a little. Derek had once said that was just what family did. But while Spencer didn't like his personal life being talked about, it didn't mean that he was embarrassed by it. Like he'd told Gabriel earlier - he had no shame in having been with the archangel, nor in anything they'd done. On the list of his worries right now, having people know what they'd done was so far down it wasn't even really there at all.

“I had a great time.” Spencer answered them. He slid down a little in his seat and cradled his drink between his hands. Under the table, his foot nudged against Gabriel's. He couldn't help but be a little pleased when Gabriel's foot came forward and hooked around his, the toe of Gabriel's shoe rubbing against the back of Spencer's leg.

JJ leaned over the back of the seat between Derek and Spencer and, with a little snort as she read the names on the cups, she picked up whichever one must've been hers. Spencer tilted his head but didn't quite catch what hers read. “Ignore them, Spence.” She said, smiling down at him. “They're just jealous.”

That made everyone laugh. “Not likely!” Derek argued playfully.

“Bitch please.” Gabriel clicked his tongue and raised an eyebrow at Derek, his smirk becoming a little more prominent. “You wish you could find someone as awesome as me.”

Emily rolled her eyes and let out a low “Oh Lord” even as she was grinning. Off to the side, Dave was watching them with a broad smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye. Spencer just shook his head and ducked down in the hopes of hiding the blush in his cheeks.

Luckily he was saved by Aaron. Their Unit Chief came strolling into the main part of the jet and all it took was one look from everyone to have them all suddenly sitting up at attention. That wasn't Aaron's usual serious expression. That was one that they all - Gabriel included now - had learned meant serious business.

“I need your full attention, because this isn't going to be an easy case.” Aaron wasted no time in diving right in, his words only serving to have the others even more on alert. That wasn't a good start to the conversation. Aaron walked right up to the table and stood at Dave's side so that he could look at them all. “In the past three weeks, seventeen individuals have gone missing in Hood River, Oregon and the surrounding area. As of right now, only three of those people have even been reported as missing.”

“That's right.” Penelope chimed in, her usual cheerful voice nowhere near its normal sound at the moment. “And from what I can gather, those three weren't even investigated. Just some basic inquiries before they were sort of swept under the rug.”

“Why?” JJ asked.

Spencer looked up at Aaron and he knew, he could just tell, that this was going to be an answer he wasn't going to like.

Sure enough – “We have pretty good reason to believe it's because they're gay.”

Every inch of Spencer’s body went completely still. His eyes stayed right on Aaron, unable to look away. There was a hint of sympathy there as Aaron’s eyes landed briefly on Spencer before they focused back on the team as a whole.

“Hood River isn’t a large town. Their population doesn’t break ten thousand. But they are a sort of hub for the surrounding smaller towns.” Aaron said. “A little over an hour away is Portland, where the gay community is much more prevalent and accepted. But for some, going into Hood River seems to be one of the few options.”

From the computer screen, Penelope chimed in. “There isn’t a center or anything readily available in the town, so there’s a group that have banded together on their own. They meet up at least once a month at different places in town to share lunch and just connect with one another.”

“One of their members is also a member of their local law enforcement.” Aaron continued on. “He brought the missing people to the attention of the sheriff, but nothing came of it, and not all the missing people were from Hood River. They’re spread out into the surrounding areas as well. But all of them have gone missing after one of their group meals in Hood River.”

“It sounds like the town isn’t exactly gay friendly.” JJ commented dryly. She folded her arms on the back of Derek and Spencer’s seats and leaned forward a little. “How did we end up with the case?”

“The officer – Detective Kent Marlow – called in a favor with his Uncle, the Mayor.” Aaron said.

A low snort sounded from Dave. “So expect a lot of animosity, then. I doubt the local Chief is going to be happy about one of his detectives going over his head like that.”

“No bodies have been found yet?” Gabriel asked. His foot stroked against the back of Spencer’s leg in what was obviously meant to be a soothing touch. Spencer didn’t respond to it.

Aaron shook his head. “None. But, it’s not that surprising. Hood River is set in the Columbia River Gorge. It’s a rather… vast area.”

“Hood River is set up right near the Columbia Gorge National Scenic Area.” Spencer spoke without thinking, his mouth and brain still working even if he hadn’t regained full control of himself yet. “The Columbia River Gorge National Scenic Area encompasses 292,500 acres, running from the mouth of the Sandy River to the mouth of the Deschutes River and spanning southern Washington and northern Oregon. There are countless places where one could hide a body that would make it almost impossible to find.”

Derek huffed out a breath as he sat back in his seat. “So we’ve got potentially seventeen victims, maybe more, with only three missing persons reports, a police department that sounds pretty anti-gay and who’re gonna be pissed off we were called in, and no real promise on being able to find any bodies. Should be a piece of cake.”

“Don’t forget the protests that might break out if the press gets wind of what we’re investigating.” Dave added in, rather unhelpfully.

The bad news just kept coming. This time it was Penelope who provided it, sounding sorry and a tiny bit hesitant as she said “The press already knows. Local PD says they’ve got people all over already giving their opinions on it. A local reverend even appeared on TV already talking about how this was God’s Will and that this is the type of fate these kinds of sinners can expect if they don’t ‘see the light’ and ‘repent their ways’.”

A sick feeling built in Spencer’s stomach. He’d heard words like that before. Had listened as they were screamed at him before the fists started flying.

But, even caught up in his own memories, he took notice of the way that Gabriel’s foot stilled. Looking up through his bangs Spencer found the archangel was the one who had frozen this time. Thankfully he was still at least remembering to breathe and blink so that he still looked human. There was an unnatural stillness to him, though, that drew the attention of others as well. Derek furrowed his brow as he looked at him, concerned for someone who had become a surprisingly close friend. “Engel? You alright?”

For a second it looked like Gabriel might not have heard him. Then those golden eyes blinked and cleared a little. They lifted towards Derek, and Spencer wondered if Derek could see through the shield in them, see the grief hidden inside. “Yeah.” Gabriel pulled on a smile that Spencer had seen before, one that he was just recently learning how to see beyond. “I guess I just, I never understood this type of stuff. All these people out there who kill in His name. He made humans with free will and this is what they choose to do with it? Slaughter people? Kill them while falling back on the excuse it’s for Him? It just, I don’t understand it.”

“I didn’t realize you were religious.” Emily said, looking at him with surprise.

Gabriel’s smile was just a bit more honest this time. There was a light edge of teasing - not up to normal standards, but closer. “Well, I am named Gabriel. What did you expect?” He chuckled lowly. “You can’t really get more religious than my Dad.”

The others laughed at that, a bit of tension in the plane breaking with it. Spencer just barely resisted the urge to shake his head and roll his eyes. He caught Dave’s eye and the two shared a private look full of amusement. Leave it to Gabriel to make a joke like that.

As the team started to discuss where to go and what to do once they landed, Spencer used the cover of his bangs to sneak another look at the being across from him. Gabriel looked perfectly calm once more. He looked just as composed as the rest of them. But privately, Spencer vowed to keep an eye on him. There were too many factors in this that he could see pissing Gabriel off – not just the religious aspect. It’d probably be best if they kept him from having to deal with the press or any religious figures that might come along. Spencer knew he couldn’t suggest that to Aaron – that wasn’t his place – but he could bring it up to Dave and then Dave could talk to Aaron. It was a roundabout way of doing it, yet if it kept Gabriel away from them, if it minimized his exposure to things that might make this harder for him, than Spencer was willing to do it.

Chapter Text

Spencer found it ironic, really, that he’d made a promise to himself to keep an eye on Gabriel through this case, thinking that it would be the archangel who might have some issues, and yet it was Spencer who was standing here now in front of a reverend fighting back the urge to do violence. Beside him, Derek was just as tense as he was, though he had better control. There was nothing on his friend’s face to show the anger that Spencer knew he would be feeling inside.

There’d been a part of Spencer that had been grateful after their arrival at the station when Aaron had sent Gabriel and JJ out together to go around and talk to some of the businesses where the groups had been meeting for their get-togethers. Emily and Dave had gone to speak with some of the people in this little group who had agreed to talk to police. That’d left Aaron at the station and Derek and Spencer with interviewing a few different people - one of which happened to be the reverend who was all over the news and all over town spouting his anti-gay beliefs.

Talking to him was a test in control for Spencer. Not just the urge to control his temper, but to control his memories as well. Because this wasn’t the first time that he’d heard this kind of thing preached before. It wasn’t even the hundredth time he’d heard it.

Thankfully, Derek got them out of there rather quickly. He even managed to do it as politely as possible. A simple “I think that’ll be everything. Thank you for your time, Reverend.”

It wasn’t until they were outside and climbing into the car that either man said anything.

Derek dropped down into the driver’s seat with a groan. “Man, there are just some people I will never understand.”

“Prejudice can turn even the nicest person into someone you wouldn’t recognize.” Spencer said. He pulled the car door shut and let himself relax just a little now that he was in the safety of the car. Logically, he’d known that he wasn’t in danger in the church. There was no way that the reverend was going to attack a federal agent, especially while another one was standing right there. Besides which, there was no way that the reverend would even know Spencer was gay. He hadn’t been at risk at all in there. Still, his memories kept playing back a different time and a different place. Despite his best effort, they kept drifting up to the surface, pulling him in and trying to pull him under.

“No, please! Please!”

“He must be purified of his sins. This is the only way…”

“Please! Please, stop, stop, oh God, please!!”

“Reid?”

The sound of his name jolted Spencer. He jerked in his seat, yanked out of his memories, and his head twisted quickly to the side. Only by sheer will did he manage to keep himself from jumping back and slamming into the car door. He must not have been able to entirely control his expression, though. When he looked over at Derek, his own head clearing a little, he could see the worry bright and open in the profiler’s dark eyes. “Reid, are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Spencer pushed his hair back from his face and ordered his hands not to shake as he did it. This was ridiculous. He could handle this. He could! Reminding himself of that rather firmly, he made himself smile at Derek, hoping that it didn’t seem too forced. “I’m alright, Morgan.”

“As hard as it is for me to listen to that guy, I can’t imagine how you feel. There’s no shame in being a little bothered by it, kid.”

Spencer managed a much more honest smile this time. He was blessed to have the kinds of friends that he did; truly, he was. He’d known some amazing people in his long life. These guys here? This team? They were some of the absolute best. “I know. I really am alright though, Morgan. It’s not the first time I’ve heard someone talk like that. No matter how far society’s come, there are always going to be people who don’t accept it.”

“But there are plenty of people who do an who’ll always have your back, no matter what.”

The memories didn’t go away completely, but Derek’s words and his steady presence at Spencer’s side helped to push them back, at least for a little while.

Eventually the two completed their interviews and made their way back to the police station. Spencer had been fighting back his memories most of the morning and afternoon and it left him feeling exhausted. But when he and Derek walked into the police station, Spencer kept his spine straight and his chin up, not letting the glares of some of the other officers affect him in the least bit. He stood proud and tall at Derek’s side, taking strength from the man’s solid presence, and he walked with him straight back to the conference room where the others were already waiting.

Derek held the door open and let Spencer go ahead of him. A deliberate move, Spencer knew. Just as he knew that there was no way his team was going to let him - and probably Gabriel, too - be alone during this case. The animosity they were encountering was enough to put anyone on edge.

As soon as Spencer was in the room, Derek came in after him and firmly shut the door behind him. “I hope you guys found something, because we got a whole lot of nothing out there.” He said as he turned to face the room.

“Join the club.” Emily said, sighing.

Everyone else was already sitting at the long table with case files spread out around them. There were a couple open seats, but Spencer had absolutely no shame in choosing the one next to Gabriel. There was just something reassuring about sinking down into the chair at the archangel’s side.

Tossing some files on the table, JJ leaned forward and folded her arms. “We’ve got almost nothing here.”

“All right.” With his usual firm voice, Aaron drew the room’s attention to him. “Instead of talking about what we don’t have, let’s focus on what we do.”

Emily sat back in her chair, cradling a cup of coffee in her hand. “We know all of our victims were a part of the same group.”

“But they didn’t always meet together at the same time.” Gabriel chimed in. “This group is sort of a support group for the whole area, so there are quite a few members. From what I gathered, they’ve only met as a whole once or twice. What they usually do is set three different meal dates throughout the month and people just go to whatever one works best for their schedule.”

“That would explain how so many went missing from one group.” Derek said. He moved some of the files on the table, eyes running over the pictures. “I was wondering how they could lose so many and still manage to have anyone left.”

“Garcia’s checking to see if there are any connections aside from the group that our missing share.” Aaron said. He leaned forward enough to look down the table to Spencer and Derek. Derek had taken the seat right across from Spencer. “Did anything stick out today?”

Derek and Spencer shared a brief look before Derek turned back and shrugged. “A lot of the people we spoke with seemed to like them. They said they were a well behaved group, never caused trouble, never got too loud.”

“The reverend had quite a lot to say.” Spencer couldn't help but add. A small shiver ran down his spine. Under the table, he felt Gabriel’s leg press in against his and he gratefully soaked up the warmth of that contact.

A dark look flashed over Derek’s features. “Yeah. I’m not sure about him, but he’s definitely someone we should have Garcia look into.”

“We should focus on victimology.” Dave said, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his fingers over his chin. It was a thoughtful gesture that meant his mind was moving, even if the rest of his posture looked lazy. “See if we can narrow down anything else about his victim type. And we shouldn’t discount the idea that he knows them somewhere else, too. Maybe our victims have some other kind of connection.”

Now this was something that Spencer could focus on. It was something he could do to help keep his mind on the case and off the past. He threw himself into studying the victims with the rest of the team and let the puzzle of the case take up his thoughts. If anyone else noticed that he kept close to Gabriel’s side through the whole process, they were kind enough not to say a word.

As the afternoon wore on the BAU team stayed mostly in the conference room that they’d been given to use, running through the victimology and trying to pin down everything that they could about their victims’ final days. There were so many that had gone missing – tackling them all as a group was too much. It was a lot for them to work with and a lot for Penelope to be dealing with back home. While they tried to work on their end, she was working diligently on hers trying to find some sort of connection between all their victims as well as trace their final steps through credit card purchases, phone calls, visits to the ATM – anything that might show when and where they were.

There were plenty of interviews that needed to be conducted. For as many people as had already been spoken to, there were even more still that were being added to the list. If they could narrow down a better window of ‘when’ their victims had gone missing, it might help them to track the ‘how’ and the ‘who’.

During the entire time they worked, it didn’t escape Spencer's notice that he somehow never managed to leave that conference room alone. One of the team – namely Derek or Dave – always found a reason to be out as well, even if they were just pretending to go to the breakroom while Spencer was in the bathroom. He was, however, a bit pleased to see that Gabriel got the same treatment. The archangel seemed to be a mix of surprised, amused, and maybe even a tiny bit pleased by the whole thing. He didn’t actually need the team to keep him safe, but they didn’t know that, and Gabriel could appreciate the gesture for what it was. The whole team knew that Spencer didn’t discriminate on gender when he dated someone. He dated for the person, not their bodies. And Gabriel hadn’t once been shy about flirting with anything and everything. In a place where quite a few people, police officers included, seemed to have issue with homosexuality, the team was taking it upon themselves to watch out for their teammates.

It also worked out neatly for Spencer because it meant that he and Gabriel weren’t allowed any alone time with one another. Much as a part of him wanted to be alone with Gabriel, to relax into his touch the way he had in bed this morning and just let his worries fall away for a while, being out in the real world had brought back some of Spencer's original fears and had him drawing back ever so slightly.

The whole reason he hadn’t wanted to do anything with Gabriel to begin with was that he hadn’t wanted to get attached to yet another person that was only going to end up dying on him. Yet somehow, despite his best intentions, Spencer knew he was already attached. The physical intimacy they’d shared only added onto that attachment. Now that Spencer knew what it could be like, what he could find with Gabriel if he let himself, he both wanted it and was terrified of getting it.

He tried to avoid thinking about it as much as possible, but he should’ve known it wouldn’t happen. Especially not with his son present, watching him so intently.

Dave at least waited until it was time for dinner before he pounced on Spencer. No matter what was going on in their personal lives they weren’t going to let it affect the job. Not when there were lives that would suffer for their mistakes. So Dave held it in and waited until the time was right. The minute that he caught Spencer's attention and told him “C’mon, kiddo. You look like you need a break as much as I do. Let’s go get some dinner.” Spencer knew he was in trouble. He wasn’t going to be able to escape this conversation now.

The two chose to walk. There were plenty of places to eat nearby and parking didn’t look like it’d be any fun. Once the two grabbed their coats, they set out from the station, easily falling into step together. There was a certain kind of peace to be found in walking beside Dave. A sort of relaxed air that Spencer didn’t often find anywhere. He always suspected that it came from the fact that he didn’t have to hide himself in his son’s presence. He could relax and be himself for a while without worrying that something he said or did was going to slip him up and give away more than he wanted.

Spencer waited until they were at least a block away from the station before he broke the silence that had fallen over them. “I’m fine, David.” He knew that the words wouldn’t be enough, but he also knew they needed to be said.

He’d expected Dave to take the opening he was offering here and start with the subtle, probing questions that were usually so effective. What he didn’t expect - not in the least bit - was for David to rather calmly and bluntly say “You had sex with Gabriel.”

A wince crossed Spencer’s features. “David.” Groaning, he resolutely kept his gaze forward, not quite up to looking over at the grin he was sure would be on Dave’s face. A grin that would probably only grow at the sight of the blush Spencer could feel building in his cheeks. “While I might be rather open minded in my parenting techniques, that doesn’t mean that I ever want to discuss my sex life with you.”

“You’ve never really had a sex life for us to discuss before.” Dave said immediately. And, yep, sure enough, his grin was easily heard in his voice, bigger than ever. “I’m enjoying the novelty of this.”

“So glad I can entertain you.”

The dry tone to Spencer’s words made Dave laugh lowly. He stepped towards Spencer to avoid someone on the sidewalk, and he let their arms brush together on purpose as he did. It was a silent sort of apology and support all in the same gesture. “As entertaining as it is, I didn’t actually bring you out here to discuss the fact that you two had sex. I’m not really worried about that part of things.” The smile was fading from his voice and it was shifting into something a little more serious now. “I’m more worried about what’s going to come next.”

Of course he was. Unfortunately, Spencer didn’t have any answers to give him. He hadn’t had the chance to find any answers for himself. There’d been no time for Spencer to sit down and go through all the thoughts and feelings that he had for Gabriel. He hadn’t really had time for anything. “I don’t know what to tell you, David.”

“Do you care about him?”

Spencer sighed and reached up, pushing some of his hair back from his face only to have the wind blow it back again. Their footsteps echoed lightly on the pavement under their feet, the only sound the two of them made for a few moments. He knew Dave wasn’t asking that lightly. He didn’t mean the friendship that all of them felt for Gabriel. No, Dave was asking for something more, something that he knew Spencer didn’t give lightly. You care for him, a voice in Spencer's head said. There’s no denying it. You care for him. You’re just too terrified to actually say it. “It’s not that simple.” The words were a evasion, one he knew Dave would recognize. Sighing again, he pushed his hands down into the pockets of his sweater. “You… you know the risks here, David.”

“I know you’d be taking the same risk as the rest of us this time.”

Those words surprised Spencer into stopping. “What?” He turned, watching with surprised eyes as Dave stopped a step ahead of him. His son turned to face him, looking as calm as can be. The people around them made a few grumbles at the abrupt stop and the block in their traffic.

It was Dave who had the presence of mind to reach out and take hold of Spencer's arm so that he could pull him to the inside of the sidewalk. It put them out of people’s way, at least mostly. They stood close together and Spencer knew what they probably looked like to other people. Not a couple, not with their age difference. Most wouldn’t make that assumption. None of them would guess the true nature of their relationship, though. They wouldn’t understand that the gentle look that Dave wore was that of a son looking up at a father he’d known had lived with pain, and who hated having to see it. “Just listen for a second,” Dave said, his expression open and yet serious, a look that had the immortal going silent. “For the first time, you’ve got a chance with someone who could have as long a lifespan as you. He might die, yes, but there’s also a chance he might not. A good chance. I can’t imagine archangels are easy to kill. It’s not a guarantee that he’ll live, or that you’ll get a long life together, but none of us get guarantees.” With one hand Dave reached out, clasping Spencer's shoulder. “You’ve got a chance here, Papà. A chance to maybe, finally end up happy.”

“What if you’re wrong?” Spencer whispered, the words coming from the place inside of him that was still so broken and so scared, damaged by years of pain and grief.

Instead of answering that, Dave fixed him with that serious face he wore when he was reaching the point of an argument, or when he was nearing the end of an interrogation. It was the look he wore when he knew he had the suspect where he wanted them and was preparing to deliver the final words that would make or break things. Spencer had seen it in action before – he just hadn’t ever seen it turned his way. Still, it wasn’t enough to prepare him for the blunt force of what Dave had to say. “Maybe I am, and maybe I’m not. But think about this – if he does die sometime in the future, do you want to have memories to look back on and smile over? Or do you want to have regret that you never had the courage to reach out and try?” Patting his arm, Dave smiled. “Just think about it.” That said, he turned and started off down the sidewalk once more.

The words hit Spencer like a blow and left him reeling underneath them. He stood there on the sidewalk and stared after his boy, wondering when on earth he’d gotten so smart.

Dave’s words stuck with Spencer for the rest of the evening and they were still playing loudly in his head when he finally got to his room that night.

He didn’t bother doing much once he got into his room. There wasn’t much point, he knew. Much as he’d have liked to shut down for a little while and just ignore the world so that he might finally have time to think, he knew that wasn’t likely going to happen tonight. Or any night they were on this case, really. Between his son, Gabriel, and the rest of the team, Spencer knew that his alone time wasn’t going to happen.

That was why it was no surprise when there came a knock on his door not even ten minutes after he’d gotten inside. He’d barely had time to change into a pair of pajama pants and a warm hoodie before the knock sounded. In socked feet, he padded over to the door, not even blinking at who he found on the other side. “Hey, Gabriel.”

Gabriel flashed him a half smile. “Mind if I come in?”

Stepping back, Spencer gestured into the room with one hand. “Please.”

There was no one else in the hallway to see as Gabriel came inside and Spencer shut the door behind him. The genius was thankful for it a second later when he found himself being pinned against the door with enough force that anyone out there would’ve been able to hear the thump. He didn’t get a chance to protest before Gabriel’s hands were on his cheeks and he was being pulled into a kiss that made his toes curl. All the words that Spencer had wanted to say, everything he’d been thinking about, all of it emptied out of his mind. His hands reached out and curled over Gabriel’s hips, fingers biting into the soft material of his dark jeans as he did the only thing he could and simply hung on.

When the kiss finally broke, the two of them were breathing a little heavier. Spencer kept his eyes closed and let his forehead rest against Gabriel’s.

“I’ve been wanting to do that since we arrived.” Gabriel murmured. His thumbs traced light patterns on Spencer’s cheeks and when he tilted his head, their noses brushed together. “Even more since you came back from talking to that dickbag and were practically radiating tension. I wanted to go and find that asshole and show him what God’s judgment really looks like.”

There was a fierce fury in those words that told Spencer just how much Gabriel meant them. This wasn’t the agent, the friend, that he’d spoken with lately. This wasn’t someone who was working hard to learn justice the human way. This was the archangel inside shining through - furious at the thought of someone thinking that they knew God’s word better than His Messenger did. This was Gabriel, infuriated and protective of someone… someone he cared for. The reality of that sunk in and had Spencer shivering. All that fierce and mighty love that an archangel was capable of, the righteous fury, the amazing capacity for emotion that many angels didn’t even realize they possessed, all of it was focused right here in that moment, right on him, and it was the single most humbling thing he had ever experienced. It took the fears that he’d been fighting all day and finally made them silent.

Gabriel nuzzled in a little closer, his breath warm against Spencer’s cheek. “Talk to me, Spencer. What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“Too much.” Spencer admitted quietly.

He felt the puff of breath that was a soft laugh from the archangel. “I already figured that.” One of Gabriel’s hands pushed up, brushing Spencer’s hair out of his face and pushing it back, then sliding down to cup the back of his head. The other hand stayed on his cheek, thumb still brushing lightly over his skin. “Usually this is where I’d crack some sort of joke, or try and trip you into bed until we’re both so blissed out we can’t even remember our own names, let alone our problems.”

“So why aren’t you?”

“Because being around you seems to have made me a startlingly honest being.” Gabriel said ruefully. When Spencer opened his eyes, he found Gabriel smiling at him, something warm and gentle in the eyes that were right in front of his. Little crinkles appeared at the corners of Gabriel’s eyes as his smile grew. It made him look human. “Disgusting, I know. But it is what it is.”

A ghost of a smile curved Spencer’s lips. He knew what Gabriel was doing here. The archangel had given him the opening to talk, and now he was giving him an opening to start joking around and neatly divert the topic. He was giving Spencer the choice here on what he wanted to do. Somehow, the fact that he was giving Spencer the choice, that he was really leaving it up to him to talk or not, made it so that there was only one option that Spencer could really take. He tightened his grip on Gabriel’s hips and tried to focus on the solid, steady weight of him, firm and grounding in the midst of all this. “I didn’t mean to make you worry about me.” Spencer said softly. He pressed his cheek in against Gabriel’s palm and let his eyes drift down, not quite brave enough to keep holding Gabriel’s gaze. “I just, I have a lot in my head. This case, it just, it hits a little close to home in some ways. Brings back a lot of memories. And then, well…”

“And then, us.” Gabriel finished for him.

Spencer swallowed down the lump in his throat and nodded.

He felt as Gabriel sighed softly. “Spencer.” That single word was filled with so many different things, it was almost impossible for Spencer to pick any of them out. It put a tension in his stomach that only grew worse as Gabriel took a small step back and both of his hands moved to cup Spencer’s cheeks again. They forced his face up, forced his chin to lift from where it had sunk towards his chest. He didn’t say anything until Spencer’s eyes were opened once more and focused on him. Only then did he speak again, his voice firm and steady and sure. “Spencer, listen to me. I knew what I was getting into with you, all right? I know how scared you are and I can’t even pretend that your fears aren’t justified. You’ve loved and lost way more than any one person should ever have to. I get it, sweetheart, and I’m not going to pressure you, okay? I won’t take more than you’re willing to give. If all you want is what we’ve got, that’s fine.”

Those words shouldn’t have been as heartbreaking as they were. They were offering Spencer everything that he should want, with more understanding than he should expect. It should’ve made him happy.

It wasn’t fair, though. Not to either of them. Spencer stared at Gabriel’s face, so open in that moment, and he hated himself a little bit. Hated himself for his fears and how they were affecting not only him, but Gabriel now as well. And he hated whoever had hurt Gabriel so badly in his life that he honestly was okay with accepting this kind of relationship. One with no promises, no commitment. Someone had hurt him enough to make him feel like he had to settle for the tiny scraps that Spencer was willing to hand out. As if he wasn’t worthy of so much more.

Spencer was a good profiler. He knew how to read human behaviors. For an angel so entrenched in his flesh, Gabriel gave away almost as much as the average human, and what he gave away painted an image that made Spencer ache inside and had him wanting to wrap the archangel up and promise him the world. Someone had hurt him - badly. It showed in the way he was so willing to accept this crappy relationship with Spencer, or in the way he’d been so stunned that Spencer wouldn’t keep him a secret. Like he fully expected to be treated like he was something worth being ashamed of.

If Spencer ever found out who’d done this to the amazing being standing in front of him, well, the passive attitude that he usually took in life was going to go out the window and he’d introduce them to the types of things a person could pick up in two thousand years on earth.

Closing his eyes, Spencer squeezed Gabriel’s hips, wishing that he could give the archangel the kind of love he deserved.

Pressure on Spencer’s cheek drew him out of his thoughts and had him focusing once more on Gabriel. The understanding he found on Gabriel’s face only made him feel even worse. “Come on, Spencer.” Gabriel said gently, taking a small step back and taking Spencer with him. “You look exhausted. The rest of this, it can wait. Let’s get you in bed.”

“The case…”

It was a feeble excuse and they both knew it. There was nothing they could do on their case right now. Gabriel brushed right over his words like they were nothing, waving them off even as he steered Spencer towards the bed. “Will still be here in the morning. We have no leads and nothing really to go on at the moment. Stressing your brain trying to come up with something is only going to make you miss the obvious, not find some amazing clue. You’ll work better when you’ve had a few good hours of sleep. Humans need time to recharge.”

Sleep did sound good. Right at the moment he was getting nowhere with the case and it was only making him more and more frustrated. As he let Gabriel push him down onto the edge of the bed, Spencer could admit that he was tired. But he wasn’t so tired that he didn’t know what he was saying as he looked up at the being still standing there and quietly voiced the thing he knew he shouldn’t want, yet did. “Stay?”

Everything about Gabriel softened. The lines in his face smoothed out and the gold in his eyes melted a little. His smile wasn’t mocking or amused, but soft and sweet. “You better believe it.”

The guilt that Spencer felt was wasn’t strong enough to keep him from curling up into Gabriel as soon as the other man climbed into the bed with him. Gabriel laughed lowly, a husky sound that shook his chest, and he pulled Spencer firmly into the circle of his arms. Together, shut away from the world, the two drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Text

Sleeping in bed that night with Gabriel gave Spencer a peace that he knew he wouldn’t have found otherwise. Even with everything that was going on, even with the confusion he couldn’t quite escape when it came to what he felt for the archangel, one thing that he couldn’t deny was that he slept much easier with Gabriel’s presence by his side. Something about having him there took away the fears that Spencer had been fighting against and gave him enough peace to be able to actually go to sleep and make it through the night without a single nightmare.

He was only vaguely aware of when Gabriel slipped out of his bed sometime in the early morning. Only half awake, he immediately tried to roll towards him, reaching out to pull him back. Spencer heard a low chuckle and then the bed was dipping down a little near his head right before a hand smoothed his hair back from his face. A gentle kiss was pressed against Spencer's forehead and then against his lips. “Go back to sleep, sweetheart.” Gabriel murmured.

Spencer furrowed his brow and tried to move towards Gabriel’s heat once more. “Where’re you going?”

“Morgan’s about to come knock on my door and ask me to come with him and get coffee. I figure I should probably be there and not here when he does.” Again, Gabriel’s hand smoothed back Spencer's hair, almost petting him.

It took a second for Gabriel’s words to really process in Spencer's sleepy brain. When they did, he drew his eyebrows down and scowled. He opened his eyes to slits just so he could glare up at Gabriel. “I told you,” He mumbled, voice still heavy with sleep. “I’m not ashamed of us, Gabriel.”

His glare only made Gabriel chuckle. “Calm down there, turbo. No need to get your panties in a twist.” Bending, he pressed another kiss against Spencer's lips, cutting off the protest that had already been building there. “I’m not trying to hide us. I just think it’s smart to be careful. Especially on a case like this. No need to start rumors if anyone finds out I was in your room overnight.”

A low hum slid up Spencer's throat. He couldn’t really argue that.

The hand on his head left and the blankets were pulled up around him and tucked in just the slightest bit. It put a warm feeling down inside of him to feel as Gabriel smoothed his hand over the blankets and made sure he was fully covered. Then that hand was back at his hair and was petting him one last time before he felt the weight of Gabriel leaving the bed. “Get some more sleep, sweetheart. I’ll wake you up when we need to go.”

It’d been a long time since someone had tried to care for Spencer like this. Longer, even, since he’d let someone. But he didn’t fight it now. He just snuggled down into his blankets with a low mumbled ‘thanks’. He was back asleep before Gabriel even flew away.

It wasn’t Gabriel who ended up waking Spencer up not even an hour later. When Spencer answered the rather insistent knocks that woke him, he found his son on the other side of the door. The serious look on his face was enough to snap Spencer fully awake and have him going immediately on alert. “We’ve got a body.” Dave told him simply.

Fifteen minutes later Spencer was climbing out of the passenger’s seat of the SUV at their crime scene. There were already plenty of officers present, which was a good thing because there was also plenty of press present. The local police had managed to set up a barricade to keep them back from the actual crime scene. Not for the first time Spencer wondered about the people who would swarm crime scenes like this. Humans were always so fascinated by death. For some, it was a confrontation of their own mortality. For others, it was a way of looking and saying ‘ yes, they’re gone, but I’m still here, I’m still alive’ . There were countless reasons for it. Logically, Spencer knew all of that. He’d studied behavior enough to understand it from a scientific standpoint. From a personal one – it baffled him. He’d seen too much death in his life to feel the need to go and gawk at it.

Then again, he couldn’t help but think to himself as he walked up to the body that he was gawking in his own way. Maybe he didn’t go out and stare at crime scenes in the way that these spectators did. But he’d chosen a job that put him in the face of death over and over and required him to actually stare at it. To try and find clues in it.

Gabriel, Derek, and Emily were already at the crime scene. From what Dave had said, Aaron and JJ were back at the station, trying to coordinate a few things there as well as gather information with Penelope.

With Dave at his side, Spencer stopped right beside the body of the young man lying there on the ground. They were in an alley, right next to a dumpster, and that little fact made Spencer sick even as the profiler in him took note of all the things that act implied. He ignored the greetings the others gave while he let his eyes run over the body of the young man. He had to be in his early to mid-twenties, of average build, with dark hair just like the rest of their potential missing victims. Most of his body was covered in bruises and blood as well as cuts here and there that Spencer could easily read weren’t meant to kill – they were meant to hurt. The sight of them was enough to make his stomach roll a little. “There’s a lot of rage here.” He heard Dave say beside him.

Spencer nodded his agreement. Squatting down, he tilted his head as he looked over some of the marks to try and read the story behind them. Marks on the ankles and wrists made it clear the young man had been bound. His eyes moved up to the back of the man’s head and quickly found the mark there. He wasn’t the only one that saw it, either. Emily had crouched down just across from him and she lifted a gloved hand to point at the back of their victim’s head. “Blunt force trauma. The Unsub most likely blitzed him to take him out.”

“Then bound him so he couldn’t run away.” Spencer added in, gesturing at the ligature marks on wrist and ankle.

“This took some time to do.” Derek stepped up behind Emily and looked down. The look on his face was shuttered in a way that Spencer knew was his attempt to try and hide what he was feeling. To those that knew him, the lines at the corners of his eyes were easy to read, giving away his distress. “The Unsub had to have time and privacy for this.”

Gabriel let out a low, disgusted snort. “There’s plenty of that around here.” He moved away from Derek’s side and started to move around the victim’s feet, making his way towards the side that Spencer was on, when suddenly he stopped. Spencer watched curiously as Gabriel’s eyes narrowed and the archangel squatted down. A second later fury and disgust both flashed over his face and a hint of light flared in his eyes that was quickly banked down. When he spoke, his voice was low and even, none of his usual teasing or mockery present. “Definitely needed a bit of time. I’m pretty sure they left a little something behind here.”

A bit of shifting and a quick look showed Spencer just what Gabriel was talking about. When he saw the object just barely visible through the blood, he grimaced.

“Well,” Dave was there as well, his eyebrows up as he saw what they were looking at. “That changes things a little bit.”

“The Unsub might be impotent.” Emily suggested.

It was a possibility. The rage present combined with the use of an object for sexual assault could very well indicate impotency. Or, “Maybe the Unsub isn’t a he at all.” Spencer looked up at his teammates and then back down at their victim. “There’s a chance we could be looking for a woman.” If that were the case, they needed to change quite a few things in their profile. Female serial killers were quite a bit different than men.

Spencer's mind was spinning with all the implications of this as he and the team finally made their way back to their cars. Caught up in his own thoughts, he didn’t even really pay attention to where he was going, long since having built up the trust with his team that they would help make sure he got where he needed to go. Sure enough, Derek went to one side of him, acting as a bit of a barrier to keep Spencer from veering off course, and Gabriel took up the other side. Between them they sort of herded Spencer where he needed to go.

“Here, kid.” Derek said, interrupting Spencer's thoughts. He was holding a car door open and gesturing for Spencer to climb inside. “You can ride back with us. Prentiss went ahead with Rossi to the other car.”

Oh, well. Apparently he’d been paying less attention than he’d thought. Spencer climbed into the backseat where Derek had gestured and buckled himself in while his door was shut and the two with him went to their own seats. Derek was driving, as usual, while Gabriel took the passenger’s seat. A moment after they settled Gabriel was twisting in his seat and handing a cup of coffee back towards Spencer. Immediately Spencer perked up. He hadn’t had coffee yet and he gratefully took the cup. “Oh, thank you.”

“Anytime.” Gabriel said, grinning.

The first drink that Spencer took surprised him with the sweet deliciousness of it. This wasn’t just any coffee. He looked up at Gabriel and lifted his eyebrows. “Pumpkin pie?”

Gabriel smiled at him and then winked. “A little pumpkin for my pumpkin.”

Derek groaned loudly in his seat, shooting Gabriel a mock disappointed look. “Dude! That was horrible. ” He scolded him.

The cheesiness of it had Spencer rolling his eyes. Still, it wasn’t enough to stop the little twitch of his lips that he knew Gabriel had to have seen. “You’re impossible.” Inside his head, he lowered his mental walls just enough that he knew Gabriel would be able to pick up on the thought he sent his way. You’re remarkably corny for someone who has been around since humor was developed.

“What can I say?” Gabriel drew a hand in, buffing his nails against his jacket while smirking at Spencer. “It’s a gift.” At the same time, the warm, musical sound of Gabriel’s mental voice chimed in teasingly. You love it.

Another groan from Derek had Spencer blushing and Gabriel’s grin growing. “You two are utterly disgusting.” There was humor and affection both that were bright enough in Derek’s voice to take away any sort of sting his words might’ve given. When his eyes found Spencer’s in the rearview mirror, they were warm and crinkled at the corner from his grin.

The good humor didn’t last long, though. Not with what they were facing here. Soon enough it faded away and the seriousness of the crime scene had returned to them. It was Gabriel who brought them back on topic. “I don’t get it.” He said slowly, sipping at his own coffee. “So far, the Unsub has managed to take all these victims and not be noticed. Why dump one in town now? Why give themselves away like that?”

“They want our attention.” Derek said.

Agreeing, Spencer nodded. “By now most people in the area probably know that we’re here. Word would’ve traveled fast. Our Unsub likely knows of our presence and is using this body to send a message.”

“What kind of message?”

“They’re letting us know that they knows we’re here, and they’re not afraid.” Spencer said.

He could see it as the tension bled into Gabriel’s shoulders and stilled him in a way that no human could quite manage. “Yeah, well, that’s their first mistake, isn’t it?” The threat in those words was clear. Gabriel was taking this case personally; more personally than he’d taken any so far. Once more Spencer resolved to keep an eye on him. If they weren’t careful, he had a feeling that the trickster inside was going to come out and hunt down their Unsub to enact a little of his own brand of justice.

Part of Spencer wondered if that was really that bad of a plan.

Tension ran high back at the police station. Now that they had a body, there was no way that the police could deny a killer being in their midst. More than one thing at the crime scene pointed in the direction of the Unsub they’d already been trying to profile. When they got a positive ID and discovered it was one of their more recent missing that had actually been reported, it only confirmed it.

The Unsub had left the body displayed that way as a deliberate message to them.  Like Spencer had said to Gabriel, it was a message to them, a taunt to let them know that the Unsub was aware of their presence and wasn’t afraid of them. This wasn’t the first time an Unsub taunted them and it wouldn’t be the last. That didn’t make it any easier for them, though. Nor did it make it any easier for the local police to handle. They seemed torn between denying that this case was connected with the ‘suspected serial killer’ and being sure that the presence of the FBI was just making things worse. It made for a rather volatile environment for the profilers.

Because of that, Spencer was rather grateful when Aaron sent him out with Emily to go speak with the people at a restaurant where their victim – one Dillan Liberty, a twenty two year old college student – had last eaten before he’d gone missing. It was the last place they knew of that Dillan had been seen before he vanished and, at the moment, it was their best potential for a lead. Because of how rough the police force seemed here, and all the negative things about this case in the media, it was decided that Emily and Spencer were non-threatening enough that they might actually get something out of the people there. Hopefully they’d be more willing to talk to the two of them than any of the rest of them.

A small smile and a brief touch of their hands was all that Gabriel and Spencer were able to share before Spencer left with Emily. It wasn’t much, just enough to connect with one another, for Gabriel to look at Spencer with the message be safe clear in his eyes.

It proved to be a smart choice to have sent the two of them. Almost the instant that Spencer and Emily went inside the restaurant, they were pegged as law enforcement and got an immediate chilly reception. “We have nothing to say to any of you.” One of the waitresses said before she turned around put her backs to them, reaching out to take a dish and deliberately ignoring them.

“It says a lot about the kind of treatment they get.” Emily murmured lowly to Spencer as they watched the woman walk away.

He made a low sound of agreement. Then, just like Emily, he pasted on his best smile and most professional look and tried to prepare himself to get the staff here calm enough to actually talk to them. He waited until the woman was back from serving her table before he tried again. “Ma’am, I understand that you don’t really want to talk to us.” He began, following down the row of bar style seats that separate them. She wasn’t looking at him, but he didn’t let it stop him. “Please, I promise you we aren’t here to cause trouble. We only want to do whatever necessary to find out who’s responsible for what’s been happening.”

“Since when do any of you care?” The woman asked, spinning around to glare at Spencer. She was an older woman – Eleanor, her nametag said – and she looked like she was usually a kind one, with lines around her eyes that suggested a life spent laughing and smiling. At the moment she was glaring at him in a way that had him wanting to squirm a little. “We tried helpin’ out before and it got us nowhere. Just harassment and trouble from all the homophobes and religious folk out there who think they’re better’n the rest of us. Not a one of you actually care about the people here. If you did, someone would’a been in here a long damn time ago.”

Spencer and Emily shared a brief look when the woman turned away again. This kind of hostility wasn’t surprising; it wasn’t the first time they’d encountered it. How they reacted to it always had to be carefully done. They couldn’t insult the local PD, not if they ever wanted to be invited back when needed again someday.

It was a split second decision for Spencer on what he did next. Before he could rethink it, he blurted out “I’m gay.” He saw Eleanor startle, as did Emily, and then the waitress was slowly turning around to face Spencer once again, a plate balanced on her hand. She was staring at him incredulously and he flushed a little under her look. “Well, technically, I mean the accurate terminology would be panromantic homosexual, but gay is a much easier term to use. My teammates have known this about me for quite some time, I’ve never been shy about it with them, and I can assure you that they’ve always been perfectly respectful about it. Not a one of them has ever had a problem with it.

Eleanor looked over at Emily as if to heck just how serious he really was. In response, Emily smiled and nodded. “It doesn’t change who he is. No one on our team discriminates because of race, gender, or sexuality, ma’am.  To us, the only importance those things hold is in what it brings to our profile and how it helps us catch our Unsub. We’re not here to judge you – we’re here to try and help.”

Telling her had been a bit of a gamble. It was one that had paid off, though. Eleanor visibly relaxed in front of them. “Let me go serve this up. I got a break coming for me, we can go speak outside while I smoke. Not everyone in here is as open-minded.”

“Thank you.” Spencer said.

As Eleanor walked away, Emily turned to look at Spencer and smile at him. “That was a nice thing you did, Reid. Potentially stupid, but nice.”

Yeah. He wasn’t blind to the risk he’d just taken. Announcing his sexuality in a public place in this town, with this kind of case going on, wasn’t really the smartest of moves. There was no telling who might’ve heard them and what their reactions were going to be or who they might tell. Still, it was worth the risk. Something in Spencer told him that this Eleanor might have some kind of information for them. All they’d asked her before was who Dillan had been with and she’d clammed right up. Either she knew something, or she was protecting whoever Dillan had been with. Either one was a possibility.

A few minutes later the three of them stood in the employee parking behind the restraint, out of sight of pretty much anyone. Eleanor took a seat at one of the tables there and gestured for Spencer and Emily to join her. “What exactly is it you wanna know, Agents?” She asked them as she pulled a little bag out of her pocket. It didn’t escape Spencer's notice that her hands shook a little.

“We just need to know what you saw that night, Eleanor.” Emily said calmly, her voice pitched in that perfect low tone that usually set people at ease. Emily was great for talking to victims and witnesses. She always seemed to make them relax a little around her. “Who Dillan was with, what happened, anything that might be able to help us find who did this.”

Eleanor put a cigarette to her lips and brought up her lighter, trying to get it lit with her shaking hands and failing miserably. Spencer couldn’t help himself – he reached out and gently cupped one hand over hers. Her eyes snapped up to him and he smiled gently at her before taking the lighter and flicking it, one hand curled to keep the flame from blowing out. He waited until she’d puffed her cigarette to life before he handed the lighter back.

The act of drawing in the first drag off her cigarette seemed to work to calm Eleanor slightly. “Dill was here with friends that night. Two boys he liked to hang out with. Ernesto, a boy from out towards Yakima who likes to come up now an again, an… an my brother’s son, Paul.” Her eyes flashed up to Spencer and the worry in them was easy to see. He understood now why she’d been so hesitant to talk to them; she’d wanted to protect her nephew. That showed clearly in the protective and pleading tone that her voice took on as she continued to speak. “Paulie’s a good boy, but, well, people round here aint exactly the friendliest sometimes when it comes to being anything other than normal and there are a few round here that still remember when Paulie used to be Paulette. He gets a lot of trouble for it sometimes. I know you’re probably gonna want to talk to him, see if he saw anything that night, but I don’t want trouble for him.”

“I’ll speak with him personally.” Emily reassured her.

That seemed to soothe Eleanor down. She relaxed a little in her chair and drew a bit more off her cigarette. “I don’t remember there really being anything off that night. The boys like to get together once in a while after one of their big get-togethers. They hang out in town and end up coming to eat here, cause I usually make sure they get a bit extra on their orders, you know?” She smiled up at them. “I’m the one that takes their table, generally.”

“So you were serving them that night?” Spencer asked her. He’d caught her use of the word ‘generally’ and suspected he knew what the answer was.

Sure enough, she shook her head. “No. We got a bit busy and there wasn’t space for them in my section. They ended up in Tasha’s section. She’s a good waitress, but she’s a quiet one. She didn’t talk to them much.” For a second, Eleanor hesitated, looking down briefly at the burning end of her cigarette before she looked back up at them. “I got nothing against Tasha, don’t get me wrong, but she always sort of rubbed me the wrong way. She doesn’t say or do anything that could get her fired, but she’s not exactly subtle about how little she likes having those boys, or anyone else different , at her tables. Then again, there are plenty around here just like that.” She paused and snorted, shaking her head. “Not like she’s not strange herself, what with that weird satanic pentagram tattoo of hers. Not to mention her husband always going off all the time on those hunting trips. Hunting, my behind. He was seeing someone else on them trips, y’ask me. Wasn’t no real surprise when he up and left for good a few months back.”

Her words had Spencer rocking back a little in his seat. There were so many things in that little speech - some things he knew Emily would understand and some she wouldn’t have any idea about. This waitress most definitely fit some of the criteria for the type of Unsub they were after here, but she also fit the criteria for something else.

Spencer held those thoughts to himself as Emily wrapped up their conversation. When Eleanor finished her cigarette and told them “Why don’t you come with me an I’ll get you Paulie’s number? I’m sure he’ll have plenty more to tell you than I do,” Spencer pulled out of his thoughts and cleared his throat, drawing both their attention. “I’ll join you in a minute, Prentiss. I just need to make a quick call.”

He could see by the look on her face that she suspected he was going to call and try to get information about Tasha. He was - he just also had something else important to handle.

Only when he was sure Emily and Eleanor were inside did Spencer finally pull out his phone and start dialing. Just a second later Gabriel’s warm voice came over the line. “ Engel. ”

It was strange sometimes for Spencer to hear Gabriel answer the phone that way. He usually only did it when he was trying to be professional and there were people around to hear him. Spencer took note of that, as well as the fact that he could tell he wasn’t on speaker, and he wasted no time before saying “I need you to step away from people.”

There was only a brief pause during which Spencer could hear Gabriel moving. After a minute the background noise faded away and Gabriel’s voice came back. “ What’s going on ?” None of his previous playfulness was there. This was his serious voice; the one that meant business.

“We’ve got a pretty decent lead here.” Spencer started out. He rubbed a hand over his chin and snuck a quick glance around to make sure that he was still alone. “The only thing is, I’ve got a pretty good reason to believe that our suspect might be the wife of a Hunter.” The way he said ‘hunter’ made it clear he didn’t mean animal hunting, but their kind of Hunting.

He heard Gabriel curse lowly. “ You think this might be a Hunt of some kind? I haven’t felt anything off about any of our case so far .”

“We’ve only had one body we’ve dealt with, though. There’s every chance that we’ve missed something rather large with the rest of them. But, I don’t know…” Spencer trailed off, unsure. There was something about this that seemed strange to him. Something that felt different. “I don’t… this doesn’t feel like a Hunt, Gabriel.”

“ What do you think it is? ”

“The woman we spoke with here said that another waitress here, Tasha, her husband was always off on hunting trips, but I get the feeling it was more than that. She made a comment about Tasha’s husband maybe seeing someone else on those trips and how he left her a few months back. What if…” The thoughts were slowly coming together for Spencer, piecing together in the way that puzzles usually did for him. “What if her husband fell for his Hunting partner? A male Hunting partner. What if that’s the reason he left? I’ve known quite a few Hunters who built relationships with their Hunting partner. It’s hard not to when you come to rely so heavily on this person. A bond gets build that’s hard to break.”

“ If that’s the case, Tasha probably has a lot of anger built up in her. It’s not that far a stretch to think she decided to start taking it out on happy gay couples she sees at the restaurant. Shit. ” Gabriel’s mind was following down the same path as Spencer’s.

“She fits the profile. It would explain the rage, how personal it all feels. But, Gabe, we’re going to have to be careful. If she is the wife of a Hunter…” Spencer trailed off, the nerves he’d been feeling ever since he started this train of thought finally starting to push forward. “She’s got an anti-possession tattoo from the sounds of it. It’s not a far stretch to think that she knows how to ward.”

“ Not many things out there know how to ward against something like me, pumpkin. Either side of me. ” Gabriel didn’t give Spencer a chance to continue or give any kind of protest. “ I promise, I’ll be careful, okay? But don’t even think of asking me to back down from this case, Spencer. I’m not running away just because someone might be able to ward against me. ”

That was the best that Spencer was going to get and he knew it. Still, it didn’t exactly make him feel any better. The idea of Gabriel putting himself at risk, of him potentially exposing himself if he happened to try to go into a warded home - it made Spencer’s stomach churn and brought to life emotions that he absolutely refused to put a name to. He had to clear his throat twice just to be able to speak without the choking fear that wanted to wrap around his throat. “Just be safe, please.” Don’t get hurt. Don’t go, please. I don’t want to lose you.

Gabriel’s voice softened and gentled into that same tone he’d had last night when soothing Spencer down to sleep, the one that only stirred Spencer’s emotions up even more. “ I will. And you too, you hear me? I’ve gotten rather used to having you around. ”

A slightly choked laugh bubbled up Spencer’s throat. “At least I always comes back.”

He enjoyed the sound of Gabriel’s laughter. “ Yeah, well, let’s not test that theory too much, all right? Now, you should probably get back to Emily, an I’ll go talk with the team and let them know we might have a suspect. Try staying out of trouble, kiddo. From what I know that’s kind of hard for you.”

“Bite me.” Spencer fired back automatically. He was still smiling as they hung up.

If only Spencer had been paying attention, he might’ve realized what was going to happen before it was too late. He might’ve noticed something off around him before suddenly something was crashing into the back of his head. But he’d gotten too caught up with his bantering with Gabriel at the end and he hadn’t paid attention to the area around him. He’d dropped his guard and allowed someone to creep up and blitz him from behind.

The first blow knocked him down, but it didn’t knock him out. Spencer hit the ground with a thud and a sharp, all-encompassing pain in the back of his head. He had just enough time to turn, to blink past the pain and the way the world was swirling around him, only for him to see as what looked to be a baseball bat came flying at him once more. He had just enough time to think how pissed off Gabriel was going to be that he couldn’t even keep himself safe for a full minute after his promise before the bat connected with a sickening crack and the whole world went dark.

Chapter Text

In all his long years on earth there had been plenty of times that Spencer had been knocked unconscious. It was almost impossible to live this long and not have experienced it. He’d woken up in some strange and some dangerous situations because of it. But all the experience in the world didn’t make it any easier to deal with. There was no trick to handling the pain – nothing that made it any easier to open his eyes for the first time and see somewhere dark and strange around him, somewhere that didn’t match where he’d last been.

However, experience did tell Spencer to open his eyes slowly. It didn’t take away the headache but it kept him from being blinded by the small amount of light that came from a lamp hanging nearby. He had to take a few careful blinks before his eyes cleared enough that he could see more than blurred shapes around him. When it finally did clear, he sort of wished it hadn’t.

What was it with Unsubs and cabins in the woods? Spencer couldn’t really make out a whole lot of detail around him at first. His brain was having a hard time processing everything he was seeing. But it was very clearly a cabin he was in. The wooden walls, the lantern, the trees just barely noticeable through the mostly dark windows all pointed towards that. Spencer blinked a few more times and he could faintly make out moonlight outside. So, it was night. How long had he been unconscious for? He tried to think about it and winced at the feel of his pulse throbbing in his head. It’d been daylight when he and Emily had gone to speak with that woman, hadn’t it? He’d… yes… he’d had coffee that morning, after seeing the body, and then they’d… they’d gone to the station. That was right. After that, he’d left with Emily for the diner.

All of it started to slowly piece itself together in his aching head. The more that he became alert, the more other things started to register with him. Namely, the feel of the ties around his wrists and ankles that would make it damn hard to get away. Though he tried to tug at them, there was no way Spencer was going to be able to slip his way free.

He fought back the urge to groan and let his head rest against the cold ground. How on earth did he get himself into these positions? The team was going to be in a panic. Gabriel was going to be in a panic.

Gabriel.

Thinking of his friend, lover, brought one startling thing to mind. Spencer closed his eyes as he lay there on the floor and did something that didn’t come naturally to him – he prayed. Only, he didn’t pray to Gabriel. No, there was no way he was going to risk outing his lover to Heaven. Who knew if they’d be able to hear a prayer like this? It wasn’t a risk that Spencer wanted to take. Instead, he prayed to the other part of him. He prayed to Loki.

It took only a moment for Spencer's brain to sift through all it knew to finally come across the Old Norse that he wanted. Then, with a soft breath, he let the prayer slip through his mind. ‘Great Loki, shape-strong Trickster, wily Sky-treader, I beseech you…’ He stumbled over the formal words as his head gave yet another throb. They faded away from him and he tried not to groan. ‘All right, Loki, I hope you’re listening because I can’t remember the rest of that prayer for the life of me. If you’ve got some way of connecting to me through prayer, I could use a bit of a hand right now. If not, keep calm. I’m alive and I’m fine. But Tasha’s definitely the one that took me. I’m in a cabin somewhere out in the woods. I know that’s not helpful but at the moment it’s all I have.’ It was a pathetic amount of information and Spencer had no idea what else to say. If Gabriel was able to latch onto his prayer and find him, he knew the trickster archangel would’ve been here already. The absolute faith that Spencer had in that belief was something staggering and definitely something he’d have to think about. Later. ‘I’m all right.’ He added on to the end, not knowing what else to say but not really wanting to give up the illusion of talking to him. ‘Just… just be safe, Loki. Don’t do anything stupid. I…’ Pausing, Spencer sighed, not quite able to force out the words he wanted there. “Just be safe. Amen.’

The headache was pounding at his skull now in a way that made it hard to focus. He’d taken two blows and she’d managed to pack quite a lot of strength into both of them. However, even through all of that he was able to hear the sound of movement outside the little cabin. A moment later the door opened and in walked a woman Spencer had never seen before, yet he knew instantly who it had to be. Tasha.

Tasha looked down at Spencer and the look on her face was clear disgust. It wasn’t the first time the immortal had seen that kind of look from someone. Though it never got easier, he’d learned to mostly ignore it. At least, normally. At the moment it made his stomach knot up. Disgust from the person who’d kidnapped him and tied him up was something that wasn’t exactly a good thing to see.

“You’re awake.” Tasha didn’t exactly sound all that pleased by that. She shut the door and strolled over to stand above Spencer and stare down at him, hands on her hips.

All of Spencer's training came to the forefront. He blinked blearily up at her and tried his best to look both confused and afraid. “W-What’s going on? Where am I?”

The foot that kicked out at him was unexpected. For a small woman, she packed quite a kick, and Spencer wheezed through the pain of it. Dammit! Above him, he heard Tasha snarl out “Don’t play stupid with me, Agent. It doesn’t suit you.” Another kick, this one Spencer managed to curl in enough that it mostly caught his leg instead of his stomach. When he managed to push past the pain and untuck a little once more, he saw that she’d moved to stand by the table he’d noticed earlier. She picked something up off of it that Spencer couldn’t quite make out in the low light of the room. A second later he didn’t have to wonder what it was. She read it out to him. “SSA Dr. Spencer Reid. Agent of the FBI.” There was a wealth of scorn dripping from those last three letters. She tossed down the item in her hand, his credentials, and turned her scowl towards him. “Does your precious little Bureau know what you are?”

Spencer was trying his best to think past the headache still pounding in his head as well as the fresh ache in his ribs and leg. It made him just a bit slower, his responses not as quick as they should have been, and that was dangerous. He knew just how dangerous it could be. “What I am?” Get her talking. Keep her talking. That’s important. Keep her talking and give your team time. “You mean… gay?”

That actually made Tasha scoff at him. “No. Anyone who looks at you knows that. It’s not like you hide what kind of disgusting freak you are.”

Confusion had Spencer furrowing his brow. He glossed past the idea that people could tell he was gay simply by looking at him – that was stereotyping at its worst and he had plenty he could say on that, at a different time – and instead focused on what exactly it was that Tasha meant. If she didn’t mean gay, what on earth was she asking him if the Bureau knew? What was he supposed to be keeping from them? He had one secret, true… but there was no way she could know that. Was there? Spencer froze, horror gripping him. He was almost positive her ex-husband had been a Hunter. Did she – did she know? Did she suspect there was something supernatural about him? Don’t admit to knowing anything. Don’t feed in to whatever it is she believes. Just hang on. The team will come soon – Gabriel will come soon. Just hang on until they get here. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Spencer croaked out. Even to him, it sounded weak, lacking the strength of conviction.

A sneer curled Tasha’s lips. “I told you, don’t play stupid with me. I heard you on the phone with your partner. You’re one of them – a Hunter.”

Relief filled Spencer even as he grew confused. This had nothing to do with his little – quirk. Thank God for that! But it apparently had something to do with hunting. The way she’d said Hunter – the amount of disgust and hatred packed into that word was even worse than how she’d sounded when she talked of him being gay – spoke of something more than just plain anger. There was hatred there in her words and on her face.

“I know all about your kind.” Tasha spat out.  She turned, pacing over towards the wall. “You think you’re so brave, all of you, out there fighting the monsters most people don’t know are real. All the while your families are at home hoping and praying that you come back to them.” She reached out for something by the wall. When it came into focus, Spencer went completely still, eyes wide. A bat. Holding it, Tasha turned back around to face him. She didn’t seem the least bit bothered when Spencer started trying to scoot backwards. She just watched him with that same look of disgust. “Do you have a wife at home, Doctor? Does she know what you get up to when you’re out on your hunts? Does she know what you and your partner do when you’re not home?”

The main part of Spencer was focused on getting far away from the woman with the bat. The part of him that was a profiler, however, was taking her words and adding them into the rest, building up a profile that made him want to cringe. It wasn’t hard to figure out that Tasha’s husband had left her for his hunting partner – his male hunting partner. The hurt and betrayal of that had twisted Tasha up inside until she broke, lashing out at the only outlet she’d had at the time. Gay men. Then, she must’ve heard Spencer talking on the phone, heard him talking to Gabriel, and she’d found the perfect outlet for the rage she was feeling. Not just gay but a Hunter. He was the closest substitute she had around here for her husband.

None of that spelled anything good for Spencer. He kept going backwards as best as he could manage and he tried to find the words that might help him though he knew she was beyond words at the moment. The way she was looking at him, no words were going to break through. “No, Tasha, I don’t. I don’t have a wife at home and neither does he. We’re not hurting anyone with what we chose to do, he and I. My loving him hurts no one.”

The words were past his lips before Spencer realized he was going to say them. As soon as they came out, his eyes went wide. My loving him… He felt those three words repeating over and over in his mind, and it was like something inside of him cracked open, something that he’d fought for so damn long to keep shut. It opened up and Spencer had a moment of oh, yes, I love him, of course I love him, the sudden certainty of it so very startling. He loved Gabriel. He loved Gabriel. All his attempts to protect himself, all the pain that he’d put himself through, all of it was for nothing. His trickster had somehow managed to slip in past his defenses and do the one thing that Spencer had sworn no one would ever do to him again – he’d made Spencer care.

This wasn’t the time to get caught up in that. Spencer was brought out of his stunned shock when Tasha started to walk towards him. “I don’t believe you.” She told him simply. “You Hunters, you’re all the same, and you all deserve to pay.”

“Tasha, this isn’t the way.” Spencer tried to plead. Fear was starting to grow and adrenaline was pulsing in him. His body screamed at him to get up and run, only he couldn’t. All he could do was keep trying to move backwards while she stalked towards him.

She didn’t even seem to register his words. “This is where I killed them, you know.” She hefted up the bat in her arms and Spencer's whole body clenched tight. He tried to scoot back, to find some way to get enough grip on the ground to push up, to get away, anything other than lying here and waiting for what he knew was coming. But she’d bound his wrists and ankles well and there was no breaking free. There was no escape. Tasha advanced on him, bat in the air, and the look in her eyes wasn’t sane. She grinned. “And it’s where I’m going to kill you, Doctor.”

The bat whistled through the air and the first of many screams echoed loudly off the walls.

Every part of Spencer's world had narrowed down to one single thing, one single sensation. Pain. It was the only thing he felt – the only thing he knew. He’d lost track of everything else. Tasha, the cabin around him, time, all of it faded away until there was nothing but the bat and the pain. He had no idea how many bones were broken. He knew the damage inside was bad. She was going to kill him. She was actually going to kill him and there was no way he was going to be able to get away from it.

Over and over she struck at him, screaming all the while, her voice undecipherable to Spencer's ears. He couldn’t hear past the ringing and the sound of his own heartbeat that pulsed heavily. Another blow landed on his arm and he screamed when he felt bone crack.

Spencer knew if his team came in and found him now, there’d be no saving him. He’d lived and died enough times to know what it felt like when his body had nothing left to give. When there was no chance of survival. If his team found him and Gabriel wasn’t in here first to discreetly heal him and make him look better than he was for them, he would die, and there would be no coming back from it. There was no way he could come back if he died in front of witnesses. There was only one solution that Spencer could think of here and it was a risky one. He just didn’t have any other choice.

When the bat came sailing down again, Spencer took all the strength he had, every last bit of energy inside of him, and he shoved his body forward, ducking and twisting his head just right while sending up a fervent prayer that this would work, please, God, let this work!

Pain exploded in Spencer's skull and the world went black and –

 – dark, darkness all around him. Water pressed in on his body and whipped him around, sending him twisting and moving until he couldn’t tell which way was up. Limbs that had been in pain now struck out to try and push at the water, to propel him up towards the surface so he could breathe, God, he needed to breathe!

By some miracle Spencer's hand broke the surface of the water and he almost gasped in relief at the feel of the cool air on his hand. With another hard kick he propelled himself that last little bit and his upper half burst from the water. Spencer was gasping as he went, his lungs burning with the need for air. Water splashed around him and he caught some in his mouth that had him gasping and choking. But there was air! Glorious air!

Far too much experience kept his legs kicking and his arms paddling. The rest of him wanted to curl in while simultaneously wanting to run as fast as he could. His limbs still remembered the blasts of pain as the bat connected with him over and over again.

A wave crashed over Spencer's head and almost sucked him back under. He fought to kick himself back up, to push his legs and arms into moving. There – there! Shore was over there! Spencer threw himself into swimming forward with every bit of strength he had. The water – a river – was pulling him and trying to shove him further down, trying to suck him under, and the cold was seeping into his skin and down to his bones. His limbs felt like they were growing heavy and numb with each stroke, each kick, and the shore didn’t seem to be getting any closer. Spencer swore and tried to kick harder, shoving himself up for a gasping breath when another wave splashed over him and briefly sent him under. He had to make it! He had to! It wouldn’t be the first time he’d died, come back in water, only to have it kill him a second time. But he couldn’t let that happen this time. He had to get to shore. He had to get back to his friends. Back to Gabriel.

Holding on to that need, Spencer kicked even harder, throwing everything he had into swimming. But his body was getting colder and his limbs heavier and he knew, he just knew he wasn’t going to make it.

Suddenly something warm curled around him. Warm and steady, wrapping around his waist, tugging him in against something that felt blessedly like a warm fire. Like curling up in blankets fresh from the dryer. Spencer sighed and relaxed down into it without conscious thought. He melted into the hold and let it tug him to shore with a speed that he should’ve recognized wasn’t human.

A second later Spencer found himself being drawn in even closer to that heat. The water was gone and the heat was taking its place. It wrapped around him until he felt like he really was swaddled in a nice, thick blanket on his bed, warm and safe.

“I got you, sweetheart. You’re okay, I’ve got you.”

Spencer smiled to himself as he snuggled down into that heat. Of course Gabriel was here. What fantasy would be complete without him in it?

There was a soft laugh against his hair and the heat around Spencer tightened a little more. “I’m going to remember that, I hope you know. I’ll tease you mercilessly about it at another time. Right now I’m a little too grateful that you’re here at all.” It felt like a kiss was pressed against Spencer's hair. “I can’t heal you, pumpkin, I’m sorry. It’d look strange if you came in without any injuries. But you’re gonna be fine, you hear me? I’m here and I’ve got you. Just go to sleep now. Go to sleep and I’ll watch out for you.”

That was easy enough to do. Spencer trusted Gabriel – he trusted him in ways he’d never trusted anyone else. It was easy enough to sigh down into the archangel’s hold and let the rest of the world fade away around him. Gabriel would keep him safe.

The next time that Spencer came to, the world was much different than it had been the last time. There was no water this time, no cold, no pain. He was lying on something rather soft and he was warm, though nowhere near as warm as he remembered being at the end there. There was also pain, but it was faint and barely there, like something was keeping it back. Those things all pieced together in Spencer's head to mean one thing – hospital. He was in a hospital. The faint beeps he could hear in the background only helped confirm that.

“You are.” A very familiar voice told him. Spencer blinked open his eyes, wincing at the bright light above him. He gave a grateful sigh when that light dimmed almost instantly. That allowed him to open his eyes once more and turn his head just enough that he could see the face that went along with the voice. It was a face he’d been wanting to see since the instant he’d woken up in that cabin.

He found Gabriel sitting, not on a chair, but right there on the edge of his bed. To the casual observer he probably looked just as calm and collected as if they were sitting together having lunch instead of Spencer lying there in a hospital bed. However, Spencer wasn’t just some casual observer. He’d spent a lot of time looking at Gabriel and learning his facial expressions. Studying him to try and understand him somehow. Not to mention the time he’d sat and simply enjoyed watching him. All of that let Spencer see the extra lines at Gabriel’s eyes, the slight tightness in his muscles, the hint of tension in his jaw. All things that showed he was nowhere near as calm as he was trying to come off as.

However, seeing him was enough to have Spencer relaxing. “Gabriel.” In that low murmur was a thousand different things. You’re here, you found me, thank you, thank you.

Some of the tension in Gabriel’s jawline faded away and there was a brief flicker of a smile. “You’re projecting a little loud there, Half-Pint.”

I don’t care, Spencer thought clearly. He was tired and his body felt like it could easily drop right back down into sleep. Keeping up his mental walls just wasn’t something he cared about at the moment. At least not where Gabriel was concerned.

This time he could definitely see Gabriel relax a little. The archangel shifted himself around and reached one hand up to brush some hair back from Spencer's forehead, tucking it behind his ear. “You worried the hell out of us, kiddo. How about we try not doing that again, hm?” He tapped a finger against Spencer's nose and chuckled when the genius wrinkled it in response.

“How’d you find me?” Spencer couldn’t help but ask. He knew he’d prayed – remembered doing it – just as he knew Gabriel hadn’t been able to respond. If he had, Spencer had every confidence he would’ve shown up. So what changed? How was it that he’d found Spencer in the water?

“A prayer like you did makes a sort of link between the one praying and the one they’re praying to. With the wards Tasha had up, I couldn’t get in to you.” Gabriel explained to him. “That tie didn’t seem to break once you died. Maybe because your soul never went anywhere. But, either way, once you came back in the water I could feel you. It didn’t take much to slip away after that and go after you. I pulled you out and brought you to shore.” Here Gabriel paused, a faint grimace crossing his features. The light in his eyes was dimmer than normal and Spencer wanted to reach out and touch him, take his hand, anything that might chase away those shadows. But moving took more energy than he seemed to have in that moment. All he could do was sit there and watch as Gabriel gathered himself together and started to speak again. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do much to heal you. I knew you needed to keep your cover here. I kept you warm and knocked you out with my grace and then I pulled up an illusion so I’d look like someone else and I called out 911 for the random guy I found beside the river. A little extra mojo and I made a good enough illusion that the team thought I was with them when they got the news. No one even realized I was gone.”

That was… wow. Okay. That was a lot of power that Gabriel was talking about so casually. Moments like this brought home for Spencer just who exactly Gabriel really was. Sometimes that was easy to forget with him. It was easy to get caught up in the smiles and jokes, in that sweet smile and those gorgeous eyes, and forget that this was just a vessel housing one of the most powerful creatures in existence.

Spencer drew in a breath that felt just a little too shaky for his tastes. He was tired – so damn tired. But he still had questions. Even exhausted, his brain still came up with questions. “Tasha…”

That was all it took. Just her name, and Gabriel knew exactly what he meant. Whether he just understood or he picked up on Spencer's thoughts was a tossup. “Won’t be a problem. As far as she remembers, she tossed you into the river to try and get rid of you. I modified her memory.” He must’ve clearly been able to see the protests building on Spencer's face because he held a hand out in a gesture for silence. “No, Spencer. I’m not going to apologize for it. It wasn’t just about protecting your secret with your friends. She would’ve told anyone and everyone about the man she killed who disappeared and she would’ve blabbed about the supernatural to anyone that would listen. While most of the world wouldn’t believe her, there are plenty enough that would. Hunters who’d hear about this and find a way in to speak with her. Then they’d be coming after you and you’d have to run, and I’d have to stop them, and neither one of us want that.”

There was more to those words than what was on the surface. Spencer could hear the emotion underneath them. Emotion that he felt echoed inside of him. Affection, protectiveness, and something else, something so much deeper. The realization that Spencer had come to before hadn’t faded away now that he was here and awake. There was no doubt for Spencer anymore – no denying what he felt. He loved this insane, snarky, wonderful, amazing being in front of him.

Everything about Gabriel seemed to soften suddenly. The lines of tension on his face faded away and one corner of his mouth quirked up. Even his eyes warmed until they were that melted honey color that Spencer so loved to see.

Reaching out, Gabriel caught hold of Spencer's hand and wound their fingers together. There was a hint of a smile on his lips when Spencer curled his fingers in and squeezed. That small smile stayed on the archangel’s lips as he stared at their joined hands. “You know, after Kali brought me back, I sort of… sank into depression, I guess you’d call it. The brother I’d spent so long looking up to had actually stabbed me and killed me, no matter how sorry he looked. That’s hard enough to deal with. I should’ve been furious with him, but all I felt was sorrow when I found out where he and Michael were.”

“They’re your brothers.” Spencer said softly.

Gabriel’s eyes flashed up to him and Spencer saw the gratitude there for his lack of judgment. “Yeah. Knowing that they’re down there, an Rafi’s gone, it, well, it broke me a little. Plus the fact that Kali of all beings had to be the one to bring me back. Dad could’ve done it if he wanted to, but it was Kali who did it.”

There was such heartbreak in those words. Spencer gave Gabriel’s hand a gentle squeeze and wished he could take the pain away for him. “You had – have – every right to be upset, Gabriel.”

“Thanks.” Gabriel’s eyes went back down to their hands and his thumb began to trace over Spencer's knuckles. “I wallowed in it longer than I probably should have. Right up until this sassy little thing came into my life and stirred things up.” He looked up and the two shared a smile. “You pulled me out of a pretty dark place, Half-Pint. The guy I used to be, I was all about pranks. Joking around all the time and dishing out just desserts to assholes that deserved it. You know about my time as Loki. Who I was then was nothing like the guy I was when you found me. I’d… I’d forgotten what it was like to smile and laugh and actually mean it. I was just, going through the motions, wondering why Kali had brought me back to a life like this.”

Spencer's heart ached in his chest to hear Gabriel talk that way. To think of him being so lost, so alone, so hurt, it made Spencer physically hurt for him.

But then Gabriel finally tilted his head up all the way and the smile that was on his face was the one that he had begun to wear lately only for Spencer. The one that only came out when they were alone.  “You taught me what it means to be happy again, Spencer. You taught me how to smile. How to laugh. Kali may have brought me back, but you – you gave me life. You give it to me every single day.”

Moisture pricked at the corners of Spencer's eyes. He didn’t even try to blink it away. Breath rather shaky, he held on to Gabriel for a second and tried to draw himself together and regain his composure after the gift that Gabriel had just given him. It was a gift that he knew he had to honor in return.

“You did the same thing for me, you know. I…” Spencer bit at his bottom lip and tried to find the words he wanted. The words that Gabriel deserved to hear. It was hard to say them – but, that was how he knew they were right. Good things shouldn’t be easy. They should take work. And Gabriel was most definitely a good thing. The very best thing in his life. “I didn’t want to care about anyone again. In the time I’ve been on earth I’ve loved quite a few people. I’ve given my everything to them and had to sit back and watch as they grew old and as they inevitably died. After the last… I swore I wasn’t going to put myself through that kind of pain ever again. I didn’t want to give anything the power to hurt me that much. But you… you came along and you just, you made a place for yourself in my life until I can’t imagine it without you there anymore.”

“Spencer.” Gabriel’s hand tightened a little over Spencer's. His eyes were shining just a little with either tears or grace, Spencer wasn’t sure which.

“I’m terrified.” Spencer admitted quietly. He kept his eyes on Gabriel’s and refused to look away. He could be brave for this. Maybe he’d been a coward so far – he was going to be brave for this. Gabriel deserved that. “I’m completely and utterly terrified that the near-immortality you have is one day going to wear out. I know only limited things can kill you, things that aren’t even capable of being used at the moment, but I’m still afraid. I just, I finally realized that I may be afraid of all that, but I’m far more afraid of trying to make a life without you in it. I love you, Gabriel.”

The way that Gabriel lit up at those words was something Spencer knew he wouldn’t ever forget. Grace and pagan power both lit his eyes in a way that made them both dark and light, bright and yet not, and it was utterly mesmerizing. His grin was wider than Spencer had seen it and it brought those crinkles to the corners of his eyes. He looked utterly gorgeous.

Spencer only had a second to look before Gabriel was launching forward on the bed. In a flash Spencer found his arms full of a clingy archangel who seemed to be trying to burrow into him. Somehow he ended up straddling Spencer's waist, arms clinging to him and his face buried in against Spencer's neck. What else could Spencer do but lift his arms and wrap them around him?

“Dad-dammit. You made me cry, you little shit.” Gabriel huffed out a breath against Spencer's neck that sounded like a cross between a laugh and a snort. “You ever tell anyone and I swear, I’ll turn you into a puppy to match those stupid eyes of yours.”

Spencer's smile was so big it crinkled the corners of his eyes. He’d learned how to listen past the words that Gabriel said to the ones that he actually meant. Pulling Gabriel in just a little more, Spencer turned his face to nuzzle at his hair. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

“I love you.” The words were breathed out against his neck, breathy and almost giddy sounding. Then Gabriel was pulling back and he framed Spencer's face between his hands, smiling brightly down at him, and it seemed appropriate that there was a laugh to his voice as he repeated “I love you. Every nerdy, geeky, oddly innocent and yet wonderfully sinful inch of you. You’re mine now, and I’m not ever letting go of you. So you better get used to it.”

As Gabriel leaned down and kissed him, pouring everything he felt into that meeting of lips, Spencer thought that he could very easily get used to this.