Chapter 1: Your Body is a Wonderland
Chapter Text
Bellamy was restocking the shelves at the library, Murphy a row away searching for a book on reserve for some student that neither of them knew. Murphy hated working in the campus library, unlike Bellamy who’d rather be reading the books up on level four than restocking the shelves but it’s also his way of being closer at the end of his shift to begin studying instead of walking across campus from the store or cafeteria or bar. He’s in the building and just have to walk up a flight of stairs to get to the books he loves and needs.
His girlfriend, Gina, hates it though. She also hates that Octavia lives with Bellamy and not somewhere else, but she’s sixteen and in high school, he’s all she has. Well, she has Clarke too but Bellamy doesn’t exactly like acknowledging that one.
Murphy sauntered over to Bellamy and his cart and grimaced as he fell against the mahogany shelf behind him. “Please tell me you have Vibrations and Waves in that cart.”
“I have them somewhere else,” Bellamy smirked.
“Stop being cheeky, Emori will kick your ass.”
“I’d prefer a spanking.”
“Blake.”
“Sorry, Gina’s in a mood about something. I haven’t been getting any.”
“She doesn’t like Octavia walking in whenever she feels like it. It ruins the mood,” Murphy said with a grimace.
“I don’t know how, I have blue balls because of my sister’s inability to be quiet walking into the apartment? That’s ridiculous.”
“That’s what Emori told me, you’ve been complaining for a month and I had to ask her, that’s what she told me. Do you have the book?”
“You have eyes, look yourself! I think it’s more than Octavia coming home, Gina has to have some other reason because that hasn’t bothered her before.”
Murphy started searching through Bellamy’s cart of mismatched books, “Women are strange creatures, man.” He pulled a book out and clutched it. “Fifteen minutes wasted,” he grimaced. “Man, just talk to Gina and see what the hell is going on.”
Bellamy nodded with a grimace, when his phone chimes, informing him he has a snapchat he hasn’t seen. Who the hell is bustybabe17?
“Who’s that?” Murphy asked, while Bellamy grimaced at the phone screen, the only person he’s friends with is Octavia and that’s because he’s making sure she doesn’t do anything she’d regret later in life.
“I don’t know the username,” he said swiping the screen and Snapchat opened immediately and the picture loaded to the red square Bellamy’s never had before, partly because Octavia didn’t know who she added when she added him.
“Come on, dude, what is it?”
“I’m hoping it isn’t a dick pic, they’re not sexy at all.”
“I thought you were straight.”
“I prefer the female persuasion but I appreciate Johnny Depp and Ryan Reynolds.”
“Right, just open it before you regret it.”
Bellamy pressed the screen and a set of lace clad breasts were staring at him and he knew they weren’t Gina’s instantly, the blonde hair aided in the realization. The burgundy lace complimented the silky pale skin and their size was significantly larger than Gina’s and damn did he want to appreciate them. Then he noticed the two tiny metallic balls on either side of the nipples just as the picture disappeared leaving him with an empty red square.
“Who was that?” Murphy asked with a wide smile, obviously seeing the photo.
“I have no clue,” Bellamy swallowed, still staring at his phone screen, those ten seconds weren’t enough.
“That was hot! You want her, don’t you?”
“I—I want to know who they belong to.”
“A girl with pierced nipples, she has to have some weird kinks.”
“Not where I was going with that. Now will you go? I have books to return.”
“You have breasts to think about,” Murphy smirked before turning to walk away.
Bellamy opened a chat with the girl and asked who she was, his finger hovering over the send button before conceding and sent it.
Bustybabe17: I prefer pictures in return.
I have a girlfriend
Bustybabe17: So do I, she doesn’t seem to mind.
I’m a guy, Bellamy stated, hoping that would dissuade her, though still hoped she would tell him who she is.
Bustybabe17: Congratulations
Who are you?
Bystybabe17: Pic first, she—he hoped—demanded.
I’m at work and I don’t sext
Bustybabe17: Shame, maybe your girlfriend is feeling underappreciated.
She isn’t.
Bustybabe17: Are you sure?
I have to get back to work, Bellamy said, annoyed. She was giving him the run around and he was letting her and he won’t stand for it.
Bustybabe17: Bye
Bustybabe17: wait…
Bustybabe17: do you have abs?
Bellamy grimaced, he knew that the right thing to do was end it, to block this girl but he also had the feeling that this type of girl doesn’t go away without a fight. He knew it was a bad idea when he decided to look around the empty floor around him before he lifted his shirt and snapped a picture without his face, just like hers, for her that just showing his toned torso, halfway thankful that he wasn’t stupid enough to get a tattoo there when he was drunk at Miller’s party last year and just got the constellation of Orion on the inside of his forearm.
I knew it, she typed back and Bellamy smirked, putting his phone away.
Two hours later, Bellamy walked into his apartment where Octavia sat on the floor of the living room, leaning back against their old couch, her homework spread out over the coffee table.
“O,” Bellamy greeted as he walked behind the couch to the kitchen to figure out what to make for dinner. “Where’s your friend tonight?” he asked, referring to Clarke but likes pretending to hate her when it’s more like a mere annoyance, especially when she bickers with him over trivial things.
“Art class. I suck at art and apparently geometry,” she answered without looking up at him.
“Yeah, the Blake clan sucks at math.”
“Dad?”
Bellamy shrugged, he didn’t know his father. Barely met Octavia’s before he split and left their mother with Octavia growing inside. Bellamy occasionally wondered if Aurora told the guy that she was pregnant or if she even knew herself before it was too late. “I didn’t know yours and knowing Mom’s track record, they weren’t exactly the smartest of guys.”
“Shame,” Octavia scoffed, deciding that it was time for a break and a drink, getting up from the floor. “Where’d we get ours from?”
“You got yours from me and I got mine through hard work and making sure we don’t make the same mistakes as our mother.”
She poured herself a glass of orange juice, ignoring Bellamy’s annoyed glare. She likes coffee in the morning, he likes his OJ, prefers coffee midafternoon when his brain is burnt out from all the idiots in the Greek Mythology class he TA’s for. “Do you know where she is?”
“Haven’t heard from her since the night she left. Hey, random question. You don’t type in random usernames into Snapchat and send whoever’s it is a topless picture, do you?”
Octavia busted out laughing before realizing that her older brother was being serious. “Really, um, no. Wait, you have a Snapchat?”
“Yeah, and we’re friends. Anyway, it doesn’t matter,” Bellamy grimaced into the kitchen cabinet that usually held pasta, he’s planning on running five miles in the morning and needs the carb load but all they had were bowties, he hoped they had pesto and garlic.
“Wait, what?”
“Did you buy any garlic?” he asked, his mind transferred to food, it’s much more important.
“Check the—no, we’re friends on snapchat? But I—“
“You and Clarke do a lot of shit that I haven’t busted you for, partly because I was waiting for it all to get worse, but it never did so I was being a good big brother but sometimes you need to remember that I’m your guardian and can ground you. Garlic?”
“If it’s there, it’s with the onions next to the fridge,” she called, going back to her homework.
“You’re okay with me seeing what you’re doing on Snapchat?”
“I get that you worry, you’ve always had to take care of me. But Bell, I’m sixteen, you have to learn when to loosen the restraints. So no, I’m not happy with you checking in on my Snapchat to see what kind of shenanigans Clarke and I get into when I spend the weekend with her but at least I have someone that cares enough to check in. And honestly, I’m surprised you didn’t flip out already,” Octavia scoffed, knowing her brother all too well.
“Miller, Murphy, and a lot of bourbon. Ninety percent of the time that Murphy has had a black eye was because I was taking my frustrations out on him instead. I’m still an overprotective hothead but I’m slowly working on it.”
“Mm,” Octavia hummed in disbelief. “How’s Gina, she hasn’t been over in a while.”
“We’re fighting, I think,” Bellamy said grabbing the clove of garlic from the bowl of onions and found basil to make fresh pesto for the pasta.
“You think? You haven’t talked to her?”
“She doesn’t understand why you’re here. That I’ve raised you since I was seven. That I couldn’t just leave you in Factory Station with Mom. I don’t know, it’s just a hastle to try and explain it to her for the umpteenth time.”
“She likes you, text her and stop being an idiot.”
Bellamy nodded, knowing that Gina was too good for him anyway. That he’s been with too many others to be good enough for her. He started cooking and didn’t hear the door open halfway through when Clarke walked in with some brunette on her arm.
When he did realize they were there, they were curled together on the couch with the TV on watching some supernatural show that they weren’t paying attention to, while Octavia continued working on her homework.
“Drinks?” Bellamy half offered and Clarke waved him off, engrossed in the show.
“Bellamy, you should ask Clarke about that Snapchat thing,” Octavia threw over her shoulder at him.
“It’s a nonissue,” he said when Clarke’s attention snapped to him. He didn’t want to share whomever it was with the world and knowing Clarke like he does, she would ask for the username so she can find out herself for him. She’s a good person like that, taking care of others, but damn was she annoying about a lot of other things.
“Suit yourself,” Clarke said, her attention going back to the show or the brunette, he didn’t care.
“He received a snap of a half-naked girl from an unknown username,” Octavia explained to her friend.
“I didn’t know that was an issue,” Clarke smirked at him. It felt like she was being smug like there was a secret that no one knew but her. Clarke and him weren’t friends, especially on Snapchat, Bellamy didn’t have any friends on Snapchat besides Octavia because he’s an overprotective big brother. So the smugness could just be a smirk that Bellamy’s reading wrong.
“A nonissue, like I said,” he stated, stirring the pesto.
He didn’t hear any response so his shoulders relaxed, not realizing that they were tense. “Are you two here for dinner?” he asked after a few minutes, still not knowing the girl’s name.
“If you don’t mind. Lexa and I have a party to go to later, I just felt bad about not seeing Octavia like usual. Homework sucks.”
“You see her in school,” Bellamy pointed out.
“Graduated a semester early, I’ve been at Ark U for a week. I thought O told you,” Clarke told him and okay, he was slightly impressed that she graduated high school a semester early and with a 4.0 GPA.
“Nope, remember the incident?” O said, butting in. “I didn’t want a repeat.”
“The incident?” Lexa asked with a scoff.
Clarke went into the story of the one time she had a party at her house and O called Bellamy because it was getting too out of hand. Something that was supposed to be around twenty people, turned into a hundred and was crazy before the other three hundred from a rival school showed up, wreaking havoc on the estate. When Bellamy showed up, he screamed at everyone to leave until it was just Clarke, Octavia and Clarke’s boyfriend, whose name he’d forgotten the moment he’d heard it, deciding “Douche” was a better name, and chewed Clarke out about endangering Octavia, who was so past drunk, she blacked out and didn’t know what happened aside from what they’ve told her, which isn’t a memory just a story that’s been told to her. About a dozen times already.
Bellamy doesn’t understand their friendship, doesn’t know how Clarke and Octavia became friends, they’re not in the same grade, they’re from two different worlds, they have nothing in common so how did it happen? How could a prissy seven-year-old blonde befriend a six-year-old that lived in the trailer park across town?
And five years ago, when Bellamy just turned eighteen and received word that he had a number of grants that allowed him to go to Ark U in Arkadia, it just so happened to be a few weeks before Octavia came running home crying because Clarke just told her that her mother is moving her family to Arkadia to run for senator. It was like their friendship was meant to be which Bellamy wasn’t a fan of because Clarke annoyed him beyond words, but Octavia loved her and so Bellamy put up with it until he couldn’t and makes numerous snide remarks causing them to argue about something even more ridiculous. It happened fairly often, but there was also an unspoken acknowledgement of respect and loyalty to one another that he didn’t know how it came to fruition but accepted and nurtured it. He’d allow her to bring her boyfriends—or girlfriends, Lexa?—to his apartment, not liking the instability around Octavia but it was Clarke and he couldn’t say no, especially when he’s done the same when Roma and Echo were in the picture. Gina’s been around for about three months and yeah, he should call her about the Octavia thing, but it’s also been an exhausting troupe, telling her the situation they were in when they’d lived in Factory Station. She didn’t understand, though she’s from Mecca which wasn’t much of a better town to live in.
“So the incident was… Bellamy?.. coming to your rescue?” Lexa asked, not understanding the story.
Octavia and Clarke laughed, “No, the incident was finding Murphy passed out with a noose tied around his neck in the garage the next morning.”
“Okay, I don’t understand.”
“Well, this friend of ours, Monty, spent the night figuring out how the other school found out about the party and it turned out that it was Murphy who’d tweeted their school to come. We found him passed out in the backyard while cleaning up and uh, payback’s a bitch when Bellamy’s involved.”
“Okay, but how does that correlate to Octavia not telling him you graduated?”
“Oh, easy, because I get Octavia in trouble. You know my—“ Clarke clicked her tongue and Lexa nodded. “That happened because we were celebrating my graduation.”
“And Octavia’s tattoo?”
“HER WHAT?” Bellamy exclaimed, unaware of any such a thing.
“It’s a butterfly on my shoulder, it’s not a big deal, Bell.”
“Not a big… I can’t be a hypocrite, I have one,” Bellamy sighed, though he did wait until he was twenty-two and piss drunk when he got his.
“What the hell was that?” Clarke grimaced at him.
“He’s trying this new-agey parenting thing where he doesn’t get mad at me for doing things he’s done in the past. It’s creepy but I appreciate it. Though I’d like to test the boundaries but I somehow doubt he’d keep his cool.”
“It’s like I don’t even know you,” Clarke grimaced.
Bellamy rolled his eyes, “I’m going to call Gina.”
“About time!” Octavia crowed.
Bellamy walked into his bedroom closing the door.
“Hey,” she answered after the second ring.
“Hi, I have something to say and I want you to listen.”
“Okay.”
“Octavia is my sister, she has been my responsibility since she was born. I was seven, I’ve been a parent since I was seven years old. I know how to handle kids, I also can’t leave her for a weekend for a getaway. Her best friend, Clarke, would take her for the weekend but her mother doesn’t like me so she punishes Octavia. It’s not fair but it is how it is. I don’t want you to think that I don’t care, because I do but I can’t do anything you want me to because I have to be here for her.”
“Where’s your mother?”
“Haven’t heard from her in five years. Don’t particularly care to either.”
“How does she not care where her children are?”
“She cares about her next heroin supply and not much else.”
“Oh. I—“
“There’s nothing to say that makes it any better, it’s okay.”
“I’m sorry, Bellamy,” Gina said on the other end of the line.
“I don’t really think about it, you know, too many other things on my mind.”
“Yeah. I’m sorry I’ve been so annoyed about us not doing things, I just…sometimes Arkadia is suffocating.”
“I know, I feel it too, but I can’t just leave. I’m still in school, I still have Octavia and a job. Leaving isn’t an option right now.”
“Okay, we can do things here, I’m good with that. Whatever you want.”
“Is that what you want?”
“Not entirely, I’d still like to get out of town, but we can do that when you’re available to.”
“Do you want to come over for dinner? Octavia and Clarke are here, Clarke’s girlfriend too. Octavia wants to get to know you.”
“Uh, I have a friend over.”
“Bring them, there’s enough for everyone.”
“Alright, we’ll be over, about fifteen minutes,” she said, letting him know how long they’ll be before they hung up and Bellamy went out into the living room where Octavia’s homework was all cleaned up and she was sitting on the other side of Clarke on the couch, watching the show with the two girls.
“Gina is coming over for dinner with a friend, be nice,” he told them and Clarke raised her arm, giving him the thumbs up while fully immersed in the TV show.
He rolled his eyes and went to the pot of boiling water and poured the pasta in.
When Gina arrived with her friend, all hell broke loose as Clarke and Gina’s friend, Raven, knew each other. From what he got from the argument that Gina quickly dissolved, Clarke’s boyfriend from that party she and Octavia told Lexa about just thirty minutes prior to their arrival, was cheating on Raven with Clarke so Bellamy’s nickname for him was perfect, he’s a douche.
After the little spat of drama, Gina pulled out a couple glasses of wine to pour the bottle that she brought with her and popped cap off a beer for Bellamy, handing it to him with a chaste kiss. “How’s school?”
“It’s good, the kids are idiots but I can’t help that. I just grade it.”
“You can if you want to.”
“If they want help, they can come to me or Kane.”
“Is it a conflict of interest to teach and own the campus bar?”
Bellamy shrugged, pouring the strained pasta into the homemade pesto.
The conversation was pleasant and light but Bellamy realized after they left that he hates Lexa. It was something about the way she acts around Clarke, like it’s a business transaction, not a relationship. He’s pretty sure that it’s a relationship.
Raven decided to leave with Clarke and Lexa, going to a club or something downtown, their feud apparently null and void. Octavia disappeared into her room to work on her English paper, leaving Bellamy alone with Gina.
“So, movie?” she asked after an awkward moment. She worked at the library, it’s how they met, she introduced him to a few rare copies of even rarer texts and he somehow noticed her interest, not being able to before with anyone that wasn’t crawling on top of him.
“Sure.”
They picked some romantic comedy that she’s seen a million times and cried to again, ruining any chance of Bellamy having sex, he hates crying, might possibly even be a phobia, or a boner killer. He shrugged it off and Gina didn’t want to stay the night so she went home around 10:30.
Clarke clambered in around 2, waking Bellamy up but barely. He assumed she went into Octavia’s but there was a sudden bright light behind his eyelids, turning them a bright red, startling him awake.
The room was blinding as his eyes adjusted to the light while his paperback fell to the floor as his eyes connected with Clarke’s soft, quizzical blue ones. “What?” he grumbled.
“You wear glasses?” she grimaced.
“Some of us weren’t born with a silver spoon in their mouths to make all their fixable problems go away. What do you want?” he spat, rubbing his five o’clock shadow, hating the scruff more than anything… well, except her.
“Right,” she grimaced. “Um, anyway, are you homophobic?”
“Excuse me?”
“Do you think that having your dick balls deep inside another man is gross?”
“Not at all where I was hoping this was going. No, I’ve done it before and didn’t hate it. The fuck is this about?”
“You were apparently giving Lexa strange looks when she was over earlier, I told her it’s just how your face is, but she thinks you’re a homophobe.”
“The thought of you going down on her does gross me out,” Bellamy grumbled.
“Meaning?” Clarke asked offended.
“What? I’m woken up in the middle of the night to my sister’s best friend asking me if I’m a homophobe, taking the longest way to ask if I’ve ever been with other men. Yes, plural, anyway, since we aren’t having a ménage a trois, will you let me get some sleep before my stupidly early shift at Starbucks.”
Clarke’s eyes widened, “You work at Starbucks?”
“I will not bring any home after my shift for you.”
“Why are you so hostile?” she grimaced and retreated out of the room.
Bellamy, now wide awake and aggravated, checked his phone and there was a text from Gina asking to talk after his shift and to go by her dorm. Then he saw the little ghost incased in the yellow square, like he was contently trapped, a feeling Bellamy’s never experienced. It was a notification that bustybabe17 sent him another picture. “Shit,” he grumbled, debating on opening it. He didn’t want to seem eager and he didn’t want Gina to find out.
You’re trouble, he wrote to her without opening the picture.
Bustybabe17: I allow screenshots ;)
Not a good idea.
Bustybabe17: the girlfriend?
No, because I don’t know you.
Bustybabe17: you didn’t like the pic earlier?
That’s not the point, Bellamy grimaced at the bright screen.
Bustybabe17: it is the point, I did it for you.
Who do you think I am?
Bustybabe17: a man who apparently doesn’t appreciate a woman’s body
There’s more to a person than their bodies
Bustybabe17: and you care about that?
Why wouldn’t I?
Bustybabe17: I always assumed you were an ass that screwed girls because of how they looked.
Always? We know each other?
Bustybabe17: no.
Really? Bellamy smirked and she sent another picture. He grimaced, so tempted yet so confused. Who was this girl? He swiped out of the conversation and clicked on the red square waiting for him. The first was her thin blue cotton camisole that exposed everything, leaving nothing to the imagination, but made him wonder what it would feel like, the cool of the metal mixed with the heat of the skin of her peaked nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue around. The picture changed to the next one that was lower, her hand disappeared under the lace burgundy fabric that matched her bra from this afternoon, her fingers clearly playing with her clit.
Bellamy gulped, refusing to acknowledge the growing bulge in his boxers.
Bustybabe17: I don’t get anything in return?
No, this isn’t…
I can’t do this to my girlfriend
Bustybabe17: this isn’t cheating
It is in my eyes
Bustybabe17: suit yourself, g’night.
Bellamy didn’t respond, he couldn’t. He placed his phone back on the night stand and tried going back to sleep.
Tried being the operative word, he couldn’t and he went to work exhausted. When he got out eight excruciatingly long hours later, he went back to his apartment and passed out on his bed until Octavia and Miller jumped on his bed, waking him up.
“Blake, you can’t sleep through Cards Against Humanity, I won’t stand for it,” Miller grumbled.
“Get the hell off me man! Once was enough.”
“Gross,” Octavia grimaced. “Anyone else you’ve fucked, Bell?”
“Not Clarke,” he stated, rolling back over with the pillow wrapped around his head.
“I’m right here to confirm,” she said from a distance. There was an undertone in her voice that he couldn’t decipher and rolled over to glare at her in the doorway. “You’re the reason I’m sleeping in the middle of the afternoon, waking me up at 2 am and asking me about my apparent hypocritical sexuality, or so your girlfriend thinks.”
“We’re not…it’s not official,” she said wringing her hands together. “You also screwed your girlfriend’s best friend, so you’re a wonderful person.”
“Shit,” Bellamy exclaimed, scrambling for his phone. “I was supposed to go to her dorm.” He stared at the screen with the eight texts and four calls from Gina wondering where he was before a final, I’m done, at the end of it all. “Well, I’m single.”
“You’re a dumbass,” Octavia chuckled, climbing off him and onto her feet. “We ordered pizza and Murphy is coming over with Jasper and Monty. Apparently Jasper has a girlfriend now, she’s coming too.”
“So, you’re saying I can’t sleep because we’re having a party?”
“A get together,” Miller spat.
“Where’s Bryan?”
“Gone.”
“We’re both single, this isn’t happening again.”
“No, thanks, our friendship was altered.”
“You and Miller?” Clarke asked twenty minutes later, after his shower and he was in his room, about to change, with just a towel wrapped around his waist.
“Once.”
“Anyone else I know?”
“Murphy, but that was hate sex.”
“Have you screwed through our entire friends list?”
“Just the ones of legal age.”
“So not Jasper or Monty,” she clarified, ignoring the fact that she’s seventeen as well.
“Nope,” Bellamy grimaced, why did she care?
“The fact that I didn’t know this, annoys me.”
“The fact that you had to ask, annoys me.”
“Why do you always do that? I’m trying to talk to you, not argue.”
Bellamy scowled, “I’m in a towel.”
“It’s not like I haven’t seen a penis before, Bellamy. I’m bi, not gay.”
“I didn’t ask for your sexuality, Clarke. Besides, we all already know, it doesn’t change how we feel about you.”
“Did Bellamy Blake just say that we’re friends?”
“No, that was you, I said it doesn’t change how we feel about you.”
“So you have feelings for me?” she smirked.
“It’s annoyance towards you, don’t get too excited.”
“Oh, right, Snapchat girl.”
“She’s…I don’t know, something. I was all about Gina until thirty minutes ago.”
“Yeah, you’re hurt,” she smirked.
“Hey, I’m a fantastic actor, you don’t know what I’m feeling.”
“Oh, you’re mature enough for emotions now?”
“Will you get the hell out of my room?”
“Like I’ve said, it’s a penis.”
“I’m just trying to save you because once you see him, you won’t want anything else.”
“He’s impressive?” Clarke asked seriously and Bellamy wondered what her motives are with Lexa in the picture.
“Beyond.”
“Are you hitting on me?”
“No, trying to scare you off.”
Clarke grimaced and turned around, about to leave.
“Clarke,” he called, not exactly knowing why until she turned back to him. “Don’t stay in something that you don’t feel is right.”
She grimaced at him again. This is the most they’ve talked in twenty-four hours than the whole time they’ve been friends. Weird.
Bellamy isn’t blind, he knows the entitled princess is beautiful, he just also happens to know that she’s a huge pain in the ass. He avoids her cleavage like the plague when she’s around, because 1. She makes it perfectly clear to everyone that she has breasts and 2. They’re fucking amazing.
“Get dressed, Bellamy,” she breathed and she was gone. Bellamy wondered what his name would sound like when she wasn’t pissed at him, hoping it sounded like silk.
He walked into the living room a minute later and everyone was seated in the living room, leaving no room for him as they ate the pizza. “My house, I want a seat.”
“Clarke, you’re the last to sit, get your ass up,” Murphy said and Clarke looked up at Bellamy and grimaced, knowing she’d be sitting on the armrest right next to him, possibly with his arm hanging around her, depending on his comfort. She’s acting weird now.
“Stop thinking about my dick, Clarke, it’s giving him an ego and everyone already knows that Murphy wants it again.”
“Blowing up my spot!” Murphy exclaimed. “And I’m happy to announce that I have a fourth date with a pretty girl and your big mouth isn’t doing me any favors.”
“We all know you love getting rammed in the ass, or the face,” Miller smirked.
“You two?” Octavia exclaimed shocked.
“There’s a lot about us you don’t want to know about.”
“When the hell is it my turn?” Monty asked, looking offended.
“When you’re eighteen,” Miller smiled at him, Bellamy knew exactly what that smile meant, especially now that he’s single.
“Clarke, damn it, get your tight little ass up so I can sit down in my own house.”
She stood and pressed into him as he passed her to take his seat. “Tight?” she whispered, full of innuendo and want, maybe.
He shook his head, this girl is full of contradictions and it’s infuriating.
They ate pizza and mocked each other and attempted to play Cards Against Humanity but Clarke would place her hand on Bellamy’s thigh for balance or to infuriate him. He wasn’t sure, he kept picking the wrong card to not make any sense of what the prompt was. He usually was right behind Miller who was always racing ahead with his sass and sarcasm. Literally the king of sarcasm while Bellamy was deemed the Rebel King, Clarke was the princess. Not his princess... huh.
Maybe it was the innuendos she was shooting his way today, or the light squeeze she’d give his thigh when she was adjusting her balance or just touching him, aggravating him, he hasn’t gotten laid in a while.
You up?
Bustybabe17: look who’s being assertive :)
Maybe I just need some help tonight
Bustybabe17: sure, what would you like? I’m here for your pleasure, you just need to reciprocate for me.
How dirty can you talk?
Bustybabe17: very, but it’s kinda difficult to text while attempting to get off
So just pics?
Bustybabe17: is that what you want?
What he wants is Clarke fucking Griffin after tonight but this is the only blonde he can get tonight. If that’s even what you call sending pics between two strangers. “Shit.”
As close as I can get, right?
Bustybabe17: abs like yours, you can get whatever girl you want. Yet you’re on snapchat with me
Had a night in with friends, strangely sober
Bustybabe17: I thought the phrase was sober Sunday.
It is, but I think we ran out of beer, you’d think with Cards Against Humanity, we’d want to be drinking.
Bustybabe17: Cards Against Humanity? Did you win?
I think I came in last place, my mind was otherwise engaged
Bustybabe17: should I be jealous?
No, she was just trying to get on my nerves and yeah, it kind of worked.
Bustybabe17: so you’re using me? Do you like her?
I don’t know, she’s annoyed me since we were kids. She’s still a kid, barely legal.
Bustybabe17: what if she’s always had a crush on you and never told you? What if she was in love with you and knew you felt annoyed so she kept her feelings to herself?
She’s a fearless princess, she wouldn’t…
I don’t think she could hide
Bustybabe17: fearless princess? Sounds made up. Everyone is afraid of something.
She doesn’t want to let her mother down. It’d be different if her father was alive, she’d be doing what she loves, not what she’s good at.
Bustybabe17: sounds like you love her.
No, I… I’ve known her since I was 12. That’s 11 years.
Bustybabe17: half your life, you sure it hasn’t turned into love.
Even if it did, she’s my sister’s best friend, it’d be awkward.
Bustybabe17: wow, that’s a difficult situation, I don’t know what I would do
Apparently I talk to strangers, begging them for nudes.
Bustybabe17: still? I thought I got you off the topic ;)
Unfortunately for you I have a tent in my boxers
Bustybabe17: Impressive, can I see?
I thought you were sending me something
Bustybabe17: how is this fair? I’m always sending you dirty pics and all I’ve seen from you are your abs.
Aww, you remember :) feminism makes it fair.
Bustybabe17: do not blame me for the beliefs of other women. I’m not them
Bellamy rolled his eyes, knowing she was right and he was being unfair, but what part of the male anatomy would any woman want to see? He knows for a fact that they think penises look weird, hell, he’s coped to admitting it too, but his is a damn good one compared to some of the ones he’s seen in some adult films ie. Porn.
He shoved his boxers down, knowing how painful it was against his girth, but also knowing that he’s about to sooth it with just a few strokes. He knows that there’s a right and a wrong way to take a dick pic, and the current lighting in his room was wrong but he didn’t exactly care, it was kind of a mess and didn’t want bustybabe17 to take her focus off of his erection. So he threw the sheets off him and angled the camera towards it while turning on the flash to make it less dark than it really was, that somehow intimidated women too. He wrapped his fingers around the base, to give her the girth of him as well, apparently that’s what matters now, he’s not really in the know about that stuff. Give him Augustus or Zeus over anything people think is important now.
Bellamy snapped the picture without wasting time scrutinizing over it and sent it to her, waiting on her response.
Bustybabe17: please tell me you have small hands
? no
Bustybabe17: oh. Wow
Wow good?
Bustybabe17: wow, you’re big.
I’ve had complaints
Bustybabe17: I’m not complaining, I’m actually really horny just from seeing that
Yeah? I’d ask if you’d want to meet but..
Bustybabe17: we could live across the world from each other?
That too
Bustybabe17: what were you going to say?
You could be a man, though I don’t have a preference of gender, I do prefer guys to not have breasts.
Bustybabe17: LOL I’m a girl! And bisexual and I live in Virginia.
Virginia is a fairly large state.
Bustybabe17: Arkadia specifically.
Wow, and we’ve never met?
She didn’t respond and Bellamy grimaced, thinking he said something wrong when he received a video from her. He turned the volume on his phone down and opened it, watching her play with her folds before sticking her manicured middle finger into her cunt, barely hearing a little gasp in the back ground before the image went away.
Bustybabe17: jerk yourself off for me
Yes ma’am
Bustybabe17: show me.
Bellamy did as she told him, liking how she took charge and told him what to do.
Bustybabe17: god, that’s hot.
They continued the photos and videos most nights for about two months, just body parts, no faces or names. Two strangers getting off on watching each other get themselves off, but something changed after the second month passed and Bellamy was getting less and less messages from bustybabe17, he’d initiate it more often than she would and she didn’t seem as into it as he was. Her body was impeccable, he’d love to do countless dirty things to her that he’s dreamt about but he’s following her no names or faces rule.
Are you not into this anymore? He asked one night where her responses came anywhere from twenty to fifty minutes apart.
Bustybabe17: midterms are kicking my ass
I hear orgasms are wonderful stress relievers
Bustybabe17: I have an algebra final in the morning, maybe next week?
Okay
Bustybabe17: btw some girls might take the neediness the wrong way, I’m not one of them though
How’d you take it?
Bustybabe17: Concern. It’s nice, haven’t had that in a while.
Okay, let me know how your exams go.
Bustybabe17: you too
Bellamy grimaced not remembering telling her that he goes to Ark U, but shrugged it off because most people that are on Snapchat are either teenagers or in their early twenties in college. How did she know?
Bellamy woke up the day after his last final and went into the kitchen where Clarke stood bent over with her head in the refrigerator, her ass hanging out for the entire apartment to see, her thong barely hiding anything.
Bellamy rolled his eyes, “What are you looking for?”
Clarke squeeked and jumped up, turning to look at him. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough to know that you can’t find what it is you’re looking for. So?”
“I had a bottle of champagne hidden in the back for when I got my midterm scores in algebra, I kind of suck at math. I can’t find it and I got a ninety-four.”
“Congrats, and I think O and Jasper had champagne last week.”
“You’re the worst overbearing, overprotective older brother I’ve ever met. She’s sixteen and drinking?”
“She’s in my apartment where she’s not going anywhere and who are you to talk, you have to have a fake ID to buy champagne.”
“Or someone could have bought it for me.”
“With algebra for a lame…” Bellamy stopped short when he noticed how see through Clarke’s t-shirt is and that she wasn’t wearing a bra and she has nipple piercings. He felt as though his whole world crashed down around him. Algebra, nipple piercings, the mole on her inner thigh that’s literally staring right at him. How didn’t he know? She’s seventeen, he can go to jail. She’s the definition of jailbait but for some reason the only thing going through his mind were the little gasps and moans she made in the little videos she sent him.
Did Clarke know that he was EmperorRebel93? Did she care? Did she know that she was risking his freedom just to get off?
“Bella—“
“Don’t fucking say my name right now.”
“What just happened?”
“Get out of my apartment. Get your clothes, get whatever the hell you need and get out, I can’t even look at you right now,” he spat through his teeth. His fury rising unfathomably quickly and the longer Clarke stood there, the worse it got.
She opened her mouth to say something but turned and walked to Octavia’s room and collected her things.
When she came out, Bellamy was sitting on the couch, his head braced in his hands with his back to everything. “I—I’m sorry,” was all she said before he heard the click of the door behind her.
“Where’s Clarke?” Octavia asked some time later, Bellamy didn’t know the time, he hadn’t moved. He couldn’t even wrap his head around the information he’d just received about Clarke, bustybabe17? No, she’s still Clarke who tricked him. Clarke who knew who he was when she was doing this to him. Clarke who acted like they were friends when they’ve been secretly sexting each other.
“Like I give a shit.”
“You should, she was here last night and is nowhere to be found now,” Octavia huffed.
“I kicked her out. She’s probably home.”
“Why’d you kick her out?”
“I found something out that I didn’t think was possible. I didn’t want her around while I tried to deal with it and we both knew you’d be sleeping so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to have her out of here while I tried processing it.”
“Did you realize that you’re madly in love with her?”
“What? No, she… no,” Bellamy affirmed, squaring his shoulders. He can’t tell his sister any of this, he can’t accept it himself, how could Octavia accept her brother unknowingly sexting her best friend without knowing?
“I wouldn’t hate it. I mean the way you two act together, the looks between you two when the other isn't looking, how you two gravitate towards each other when everyone is hanging out together, it’s not exactly subtle.”
“I don’t like her, Octavia!” Bellamy exclaimed, the words tasting wrong but he somehow meant every syllable. The young blonde princess has annoyed him for half his life, he can’t love her. It’s nonsensical.
Octavia shrugged and pulled out the box of Eggos to toast for her breakfast.
Bellamy was sitting on Miller’s couch, four empty beer bottles sat on the coffee table idle while Bellamy chugged half of the one Miller just handed him before he sat back down on the other side of the couch.
“So if you’re going to drink all my beer, you have to tell me your troubles.”
“Troubles?” Bellamy grimaced at the beer, it’s horrible but Miller loves it. It tastes of citrus piss.
“What’s on your mind?”
“Do you remember me talking about this girl I was sexting on Snapchat last month?”
“Vaguely, you say girl and I zone in and out. You liked her.”
“Yeah, I did. I found out this morning that it was Clarke and I freaked out.”
“She told you that it was her? I remember you saying it was just watching each other get off.”
“When you see a certain body part enough, you know what it looks like. It’s Clarke. Same piercings, same inner thigh mole, it’s Clarke.”
“And? You’ve been in love with her long enough, why does it matter?”
“Why does everyone think I’m in love with Clarke? I—I’m not, she annoys me to the point where I’m either going to kill her or myself.”
Miller grimaced, utterly defeated, “You’re going to die alone.”
“As long as I’m sticking my penis in something, I’m sure I’ll be happy.”
Miller laughed and rolled his eyes, “Priorities.”
Another month passed and it was Clarke’s birthday, they typically have a small party of their friends group and it’s the same this year, she’s eighteen now, she could go to a club but not drink, but there’s Octavia and knows that she’s respectful of his little sister. This year was a little different though, Clarke wanted to go out to dinner at a nice restaurant in Polis, the city two hours away. Everyone got the day off from work, Bellamy requested off when he first found out about it, he just can’t go. He can’t look at Clarke and pretend like everything is fine, when it isn’t.
“Why aren’t you dressed?” Octavia asked and he looked down at the sweatpants and coffee stained t shirt.
“Why would I be?”
“Clarke’s birthday, you confirmed it on Facebook, people expect you to go.”
“Well, I’m not and I don’t have a penguin suit to wear to this place.”
“You have a white button down and slacks, come on,” Octavia demanded, yanking him up off the couch.
“I’m only getting up to get a glass of water, then I’m sitting back down and enjoying this documentary.”
“Bellamy Bradbury Blake, if you don’t get your ass into your room and get dressed for your friend’s birthday dinner, I will do everything in my power to drive you crazy.”
“Too late, I already worry about you every hour of the day, can’t get much worse than that.”
“I can still go to juvie, the thoughts circling my head are pretty bad, would you like that?”
“Octavia, I swear—“
“Go! You need to get over whatever the hell it is that you’re mad at Clarke about because this dinner is going to be enjoyable.”
“If that’s the goal for tonight, you really don’t want me there.”
Octavia rolled her eyes, dragging him into his bedroom and threw the closet door open. She pushed a pair of black slacks and a white dress shirt into his chest and glowered at him, waiting.
“If you don’t go, you’re going to be late,’ Bellamy told her.
Octavia reached into her purse, still staring him down until her phone was in her hand and looked at it, pressing haphazardly on the screen before putting it up to her ear. “Hey…Yeah, Bellamy just got home, could you pick us up on the way?... Perfect. Fifteen?.. Thanks, Miller, I know you know. Bye.” She hung up the phone and glared at him. “They will come in here and dress you if you don’t grow the hell up and do it yourself.”
“That’s what Miller said?”
“Yes.”
“I doubt that but if it’s going to make everyone late, I’ll be the damn party pooper,” he grumbled.
“You always are.”
Bellamy grimaced at his sister before pulling the shirt over his shoulders and onto his body, buttoning it up, giving her enough time to leave the room before he pushes his sweatpants off.
Ten minutes later, there was a knock on the apartment door and Bellamy threw it open, preparing to huff out some annoyed statement he’d have found in the moment but his mind went blank as he stared down at Clarke. Her unruly blonde waves were in soft curls, her eyeshadow was dark, making their bright blue pop more than they already did. She was a vision and he didn’t even see the dress she was wearing, but somehow knew it fit her perfectly, of course it would, she’s a fucking princess, Bellamy reminded himself, putting himself back together.
It doesn’t matter that he knows how she gasps and mewls with pleasure, that he knows what she sounds like when she comes, that her nipples are fucking perfect and he craved to know what they tasted like, what she tasted like between her thighs. How she would feel around his cock as he slid into her and… Bellamy’s dick jerked up in attention and he rolled his eyes. “Let’s get this over with,” he said pushing past her.
He couldn’t even muster a happy birthday to her, that’s how much he doesn’t like this situation. He’s an asshole and her dress is a cream flower lace that showcased her cleavage.
“Happy birthday,” Octavia exclaimed behind Bellamy, still in the apartment as he descended the stairs to the car awaiting them on the curb outside.
He was squished between Monty and Octavia in the back seat, Miller drove with Clarke riding shotgun. Everyone was joyously belting out the lyrics to pop songs that Bellamy was not ashamed in not knowing the songs at all though Octavia’s probably blasted them through the wall separating their rooms plenty of times, but he’s never cared to pay attention to the lyrics.
They got to the restaurant, meeting Jasper, Maya, Murphy, Emori, and Raven, who all rode in the other car, Raven’s car. Why was she there?
He said hello to everyone and purposely sat as far away as he could from Clarke, unfortunately that meant sitting between Raven and Murphy. And because he was being so quiet, Raven asked what Clarke did to piss him off.
“That’s a loaded question.”
“So give me a loaded answer.”
“No feelings?”
“For you? No.”
“Sexted for about two months, I didn’t know it was her.”
“Did she know it was you?”
“I don’t know,” he answered softly, going over their conversations in his head. “Yes!” he said angrily, half their table glancing over at him.
“Oh, so you’re mad at her for not telling you?”
“Yes. No, I don’t know why I’m mad, I just am.”
“Did you ever consider the fact that she was scared? That she fell for this stranger, loving the dynamic of their relationship or whatever you’d call it just to find out that this guy, this stranger, was her best friend’s older brother that she’s known her whole life?”
“She isn’t afraid of anything.”
“Look at her,” Raven said to him softly and he grimaced at the empty plate in front of him. This restaurant was a rip off. “Bellamy, just look at her and tell me what you see.”
Bellamy looked up at Clarke who was transfixed on Maya and what she was telling everyone but Murphy and Emori who’re in their own conversation, Clarke was smiling and laughing but it didn’t reach her eyes. Bellamy grimaced. “What does she have to be sad about?”
“She fell for an asshole that won’t talk to her. Why are you here if you’re not going to be nice to her?”
“I was threatened by Octavia and Miller, they’re a ferocious team, don’t let them fool you.”
“We’re going to a club after this, she wants to dance, Miller is taking O home with the four other youngsters, make it up to her.”
“I’m not having this conversation with her in a club, Raven.”
“So, don’t. We’re walking there, it’s two blocks. Talk to her, I’ll keep Murphy and Emori busy or whatever.”
“Yeah?”
“Just because we slept together once and broke my friend’s heart doesn’t mean I’m a complete bitch.”
Bellamy actually smirked before going back to the stoic gaze he’s had on the past few hours.
When dinner was over and they all headed out and said goodbye to the underage delinquents and Miller who had and early shift at the diner in the morning.
“Come on, you two,” Raven said to Murphy and Emori, trying to get them to start heading to the club before Octavia was in the car.
“Bell, you coming?” O asked, opening the passenger door before hugging Clarke goodbye.
“I’m going to stick around, I’ll get an Uber if I want to leave,” he told her as Clarke strode off, following Raven.
“Get her,” Octavia whispered with a stupidly huge smile plastered on her face.
Bellamy rolled his eyes and walked away from the SUV and after Clarke.
“Princess,” he said, grazing his fingers against her forearm.
“Why are you here?”
“It’s your birthday,” Bellamy said, fucking idiot.
“Took you long enough to say it.”
“Clarke, are you seriously pissed at me? You knew for two months who I was and you didn’t tell me. Fuck, I had a towel around my waist and refused to change in front of you because you hadn’t seen my dick when you had.”
“I—that’s when I found out, Bellamy. I didn’t know until you told her—me—about me.” She swallowed and squared her shoulders, “Believe me.” She scoffed, “If I knew that it was you, I never would have done any of it.”
“You regret it,” Bellamy said in disbelief, he knows Clarke. He’s known her for eleven years and never has she shown regret.
“I didn’t, no. I—I was going to tell you, but I couldn’t figure out how without you hating me more than you already did which was weird because I did like you. Everything we did amplified that factor, but now I fucking hate you and don’t want you to be here.”
“Clarke, I’m trying here. Okay? Yeah, I was forced to be here but I didn’t have to stay. I’m choosing to be here with you because I…” the words were stuck on the tip of his tongue as he stared at her in the middle of the street in Polis, the light from the street lamps illuminating her hair into a halo and damn did he want to kiss her.
“What?” she demanded harshly, but he just stared at her and the little mole above the corner of her lip that matched his stupid scar. “God, you’re such an asshole!” she exclaimed and continued after Raven to the club.
“You want me to tell you that I love you?” he called after her and she froze as he walked after her. “I can’t because I’d be lying but fuck, Clarke, if you just gave me some fucking time, maybe I could,” he said standing right behind her, his breath moving the curls on her shoulder.
“Don’t make me empty promises on my birthday,” she whispered.
“It’s the promise of a belated birthday gift.”
“Your love is a gift?” she chuckled, turning around.
“Just ask Octavia,” Bellamy smirked. Okay, so his speech wasn’t perfect or awe-inspiring like he’d planned but it’s Clarke and nothing he planned would ever come to fruition with her around but he wouldn’t have it any other way.
Clarke chuckled, a tear falling between her lashes and down her cheek, Bellamy caught it on her jaw before it fell onto her dress, leaving his fingers there, caressing her soft skin.
“Bellamy,” she whispered.
“Mm,” he tried.
“I don’t want your half promise. I want something more tangible.”
Bellamy scoffed, “I can’t even surprise you, we’re going to be so boring.”
“To everybody else, maybe.”
“God, you don’t shut up.”
“How about you make me,” Clarke challenged.
Bellamy smirked, knowing what she’s trying to make him do and damn did he want to. Besides, who was he to not give the birthday princess what she wanted. Her wish was his command.
His lips crashed down onto hers and it was as though they couldn’t stop fighting. If someone were to closely watch their lips move against each other they’d wonder if hate sex was about to go down. They caught their rhythm as Clarke forked her fingers into Bellamy’s inky curls, settling them both. Giving Bellamy the reassurance he needed to wrap his other hand around her waist, pulling her against his chest, no able to get close enough to her.
It was then he realized that he’d always been in love with Clarke Griffin, but it was just easier at twelve years old to call it hate, too soon to fully know how to decipher between emotions. But there they stood eleven years later, the promise of love ghosting between them.
Chapter 2: If This Is Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
Notes:
Weekends leave me high and dry with no inspiration, it is horrible!!! I posted the last chapter Friday, thinking "hey, if I stay in bed all weekend, this chapter will be finished and I can post on Monday." But man, let me tell you, HIGH and DRY!!
Friday night, I got home, wrote maybe a page and passed out around 8:30 with dogs on top of me.
Saturday I woke up realizing these dogs don't have food so I go buy them food and stopped at my dad's house because it's the only time I can see him, with our busy work schedules. His six month old son made me laugh so hard that the next time i looked at the clock, it was ten hours later and I had to let the dogs out so I wouldn't have to clean up after their accident. so I got home and had absolutely no inspiration still so i spent three hours reading other Bellarke fics Some inspired the hell out of me and this.
Sunday was just a clusterfuck that I don't even want to acknowledge.
And Monday was procrastination nation, I didn't even do half my paperwork at work today. SMH But here it is just over four hours passed my personal deadline for it. Here's Clarke!
Happy reading!!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Clarke sat on Octavia’s bed after a night of debauchery, she got a tattoo on her shoulder blade, a blue butterfly that Bellamy would kill her if he knew about. Being a hypocrite as per usual, he has Orion on his forearm.
“Who the hell is this?” Octavia grimaced at her phone screen.
“Who?” Clarke asked, leaning over.
“EmperorRebel93, he’s been following me for three months and doesn’t post anything but religiously watches my story.”
“Ask him who it is.”
“What? No! what if it’s some fifty-year-old creeper?”
“On Snapchat? I doubt that.”
“No, it could be worse too, Atom, or someone from Factory Station, that would be weird, we haven’t lived there in years!”
Clarke rolled her eyes, sometimes Octavia’s paranoia was annoying and uncalled for but she wouldn’t change her for the world.
EmperorRebel93, Clarke said, memorizing it. She was going to find out who this person was.
When she got home the next day she made a new account on Snapchat and grimaced at the pretty bra she was wearing, a nice lacey burgundy one that showed off everything and she was feeling sexy. She liked both genders so she didn’t mind if she sent a pic of her breasts to either, whichever EmperorRebel93 was, they were in for a surprise.
She snapped the picture and sent it, she laid back in her bed and waited. About three minutes or so later, he sent her a chat.
EmperorRebel93: Who is this?
I prefer pictures in return.
EmperorRebel93: I have a girlfriend
Clarke rolled her eyes, she had Lexa, but they weren’t really a thing. They hung out, made out and occasionally had sex. It wasn’t a relationship because Lexa couldn’t get over Costia. So do I, she doesn’t seem to mind, Clarke wrote back.
EmperorRebel93: I’m a guy
Congratulations, Clarke smirked, like she cared.
EmperorRebel93: Who are you?
Pic first, she wrote, hoping it seemed forceful, this is an exchange of pictures, nothing more.
EmperorRebel93: I’m at work and I don’t sext
Shame, maybe your girlfriend is feeling underappreciated.
EmperorRebel93: She isn’t.
Are you sure?
EmperorRebel93: I have to get back to work.
Bye
Wait…
Clarke knew she shouldn’t have but she had to, Do you have abs?
There was a minute before she received a photo and opened it, the tan skin that rippled over the tight expanse of his torso, his pectorals deliciously defined and his nipples hard, possibly with arousal from her picture. She gawked at it until it disappeared and typed back to him, I knew it.
She checked the time and remembered she promised to meet Lexa at a café in a half hour and she still had to shower.
At some point during her conversation with Lexa, discussing the party that they’re planning on going to later that evening, Clarke mentioned feeling bad about ditching Octavia who had a shit ton of homework to do over the weekend before going out and having fun. Lexa suggested swinging by to see her, giving her a nice study break that she could probably benefit from.
A few years ago, Clarke had a big blow out with her mother about her father’s death and sat outside the Blake apartment for three hours before Octavia got home. She declared that Clarke should have a key, just so she could have a safe haven from her mother, or for emergencies. So Clarke agreed with Lexa and they headed over to the Blake apartment across town and Clarke opened the door, noticing Bellamy focused on whatever dish he decided to make tonight. She would never admit it to his face, but he was an amazing cook. He could throw something together and it would taste like heaven, though she was sure that it was because he uses a lot of curry, she loved curry.
So Clarke headed to the couch, dragging Lexa along behind her as they curled into each other when they sat down. Clarke touched Octavia’s shoulder to let her know that they were there when she was ready for a break as they got into the Supernatural rerun on the television.
“Drinks?” she heard Bellamy offer in the middle of a detrimental scene with Castiel.
She waved him off, getting back into the episode.
“Bellamy, you should ask Clarke about that Snapchat thing,” Octavia threw over her shoulder at him.
“It’s a nonissue,” he said when Clarke dragged her attention from the TV to Octavia’s older brother that had some weird vibe coming off him. He was annoyingly guarded and overprotective to a fault, but knowing that he cared about her made Clarke feel safe.
“Suit yourself,” Clarke said, going back to the show, smiling at Lexa, squeezing her hand in reassurance.
“He received a snap of a half-naked girl from an unknown username,” Octavia explained.
Clarke’s face dropped for a second, but made a quick recovery. She’d done just that earlier in the day, he wouldn’t dare ask his little sister about it so soon, would he? It couldn’t have been her though, he sent her his abs and Clarke’s seen his abs. Hell. Bellamy practically walks around the apartment half naked after he showered, she’d have known if his abs were that taught and rippled.
“I didn’t know that was an issue,” Clarke smirked at Bellamy. They weren’t friends, hell, Clarke doubted anyone even knew that Bellamy had a Snapchat, what would he snap about anyway? The weather? The new biography of Julius Caesar? Bellamy didn’t have a life anyone would want to follow.
“A nonissue, like I said,” he stated, stirring whatever was in the pot on the stove. Clarke rolled her eyes and rested her head on Lexa’s shoulder. “Are you two here for dinner?” he asked a few minutes later.
“If you don’t mind. Lexa and I have a party to go to later, I just felt bad about not seeing Octavia like usual. Homework sucks.”
“You see her in school,” Bellamy said, clearly not knowing that she’d graduated a semester early.
“Graduated a semester early, I’ve been at Ark U for a week. I thought O told you.”
“Nope, remember the incident?” O said, butting in. “I didn’t want a repeat.”
“The incident?” Lexa asked with a scoff.
Clarke went into the story of when she threw a party that got way too out of hand and Octavia, not knowing what else to do, called Bellamy and he “Dad”ed the situation.
Clarke knew that Bellamy didn’t understand her friendship with Octavia, didn’t m know how they became friends. They weren’t in the same grade, they were from “two different worlds” as he said, they had nothing in common so how did it happen? How could a “prissy seven-year-old blonde” befriend a six-year-old that lived in the trailer park across town? They were both outsiders. They both needed a friend and found each other, they didn’t care about what clothes the other wore or the names everyone called them, they were just two lonely kids that were different from the masses.
And five years ago, Clarke’s mom told her they were moving to Arkadia so she could run for senator, she ran to Octavia and cried, Octavia staying strong, saying that they’d be friends forever, no matter what. Then a week later Octavia ran to her with a huge smile on her face telling her that Bellamy was accepted to Ark U and he was bringing her with him so she wouldn’t make the same life choices as their mother. Clarke never asked about Octavia’s home life, knowing that it wasn’t great. But when she heard that Bellamy would be the one taking care of Octavia while holding down classes and a full time job for an apartment, Clarke was skeptical about it all. But Clarke knew Bellamy for six years then and somehow knew that he’d make it work because it was who he was. he’s a fighter and wouldn’t just give up because the going got tougher than he was.
They still fought about ridiculous things, driving Octavia crazy. She’d helped furnish their apartment, being a pro at it with how many times her mother had changed the look of their house over the years.
“So the incident was… Bellamy?.. coming to your rescue?” Lexa asked, not understanding the story.
Octavia and Clarke laughed, “No, the incident was finding Murphy passed out with a noose tied around his neck in the garage the next morning.”
“Okay, I don’t understand.”
“Well, this friend of ours, Monty, spent the night figuring out how the other school found out about the party and it turned out that it was Murphy who’d tweeted their school to come. We found him passed out in the backyard while cleaning up and uh, payback’s a bitch when Bellamy’s involved.”
“Okay, but how does that correlate to Octavia not telling him you graduated?”
“Oh, easy, because I get Octavia in trouble. You know my—“ Clarke clicked her tongue and Lexa nodded. “That happened because we were celebrating my graduation.”
“And Octavia’s tattoo?” Lexa questioned, not knowing that it was a secret.
“HER WHAT?” Bellamy exclaimed and Clarke wanted to hit Lexa though she couldn’t blame her for not knowing about Bellamy’s ignorance.
“It’s a butterfly on my shoulder, it’s not a big deal, Bell,” Octavia said like it was an everyday occurrence that she got yelled at about something.
“Not a big… I can’t be a hypocrite, I have one,” Bellamy sighed.
“What the hell was that?” Clarke grimaced at him acting completely out of character.
“He’s trying this new-agey parenting thing where he doesn’t get mad at me for doing things he’s done in the past. It’s creepy but I appreciate it. Though I’d like to test the boundaries but I somehow doubt he’d keep his cool.”
“It’s like I don’t even know you,” Clarke grimaced at the boy with inky curls that were that sexy messy that some girls like, not Clarke but others.
Bellamy rolled his eyes, “I’m going to call Gina.”
“About time!” Octavia crowed.
Bellamy walked into his bedroom closing the door.
“Gina?” she asked Octavia, not knowing the name.
“The girl he’s been seeing, she works at the bar on campus.”
Clarke nodded like she knew what Octavia was talking about and let it go.
“So, you two are..?”
“Having fun,” Lexa said, smiling at Clarke who was okay without a label on their relationship. They’re not dating, it’s more like friends with benefits with occasional PDA.
“It’s been really fun,” she smiled back and Octavia rolled her eyes. “I want to meet someone spectacular. I need something permanent in my life.”
“You have Bellamy and me.”
Octavia rolled her eyes, packing her school work up, “You’re like a sister and Bellamy is my brother. I meant relationship wise. Everyone I know is bisexual and I feel weird being the only one that just likes the opposite sex.”
“I only like the same sex, one hundred percent lesbian,” Lexa said proudly and Clarke was happy that Lexa was okay with her being bisexual. She’s met a lot of lesbians who were attracted to her but didn’t want to date her because they didn’t want her to dump them for a guy. She wasn’t one to do that, if she were to dump them it would be because she didn’t like them anymore or she found out they cheated on her. Cough, Finn, cough.
“See? There’s no one that’s straight around here. Not that I don’t like you guys or hate your sexualities, it just sucks that I have no hetero relationship to look up to.”
“Bellamy and Gina?”
“That’s… I don’t think Gina likes me.”
“If she doesn’t like you, she’s not worth anyone’s time.”
“Yeah, I don’t know you and I like you,” Lexa said.
“You’re just saying that because Clarke said you wouldn’t be worth her time if you didn’t.”
“Oh, I’m not worth her time, I’m agreeing because you seem cool.”
Bellamy’s door opened and he came out of the room looking at the three of them on the sofa.
“Gina is coming over for dinner with a friend, be nice,” he told them and Clarke gave him the thumbs up while fully immersing herself back into Sam Winchester’s eyes on the TV. He’s underrated.
When Gina arrived with her friend, Raven, Clarke was ready to fight.
“What the hell is she doing here?” Clarke spat at Raven.
“Me? I was invited.”
“Well, I practically live here, so go.”
“No, you don’t, Clarke. You stay here when you and your mother fight and every weekend but you don’t pay rent and aren’t related to me,” Bellamy said, clearing that up.
“No, shit, Sherlock,” Clarke spat at him before turning back to Raven.
“You want everything that’s mine, Princess, not the other way around.”
“Wait, this is…” Gina asked Raven who immediately crossed her arms, waiting for something from Clarke and she didn’t know what.
“Mm,” she grumbled, unimpressed.
Clarke scoffed, “Really? I walked in on you two, you can’t be disgusted with me!”
“The fact that he wanted you in the end disgusts me. I wasted years on him, I fell for him and I’m fucked now. So yeah, I can blame you.”
“Okay, guys, it was two years ago, get over it! Neither of you are with him so why does it matter?”
“Principle,” Raven stated.
“Since when did that matter to you? Finn was an ass that didn’t deserve either of you and yet you’re fighting over him two years later. Get over it!”
Clarke and Raven grumbled some form of agreement before Gina introduced herself to Clarke and Lexa before kissing Bellamy and heading to the kitchen with the bottle of wine in her hand.
“So, you didn’t stay with him?” Raven asked bitterly, her arms at her sides.
“No, I respect myself too much to think I deserve a lying cheater.”
Raven’s eyes cut to the floor like she didn’t know what else to say.
The conversation was pleasant and light through dinner, Clarke realized that the only reason she hated Raven was because of Finn, which wasn’t really worth hating someone over because he was the one that cheated and neither of them knew what was going on. So when Clarke and Lexa were leaving, Clarke decided to be the bigger person and asked if Raven wanted to join them so Bellamy and Gina could be alone.
“So how long have you two been together?” Raven asked them when they got out on the street.
“We’re not, we hang out.”
“Oh, sorry, I just thought you two were—“
“Sex is involved, we just aren’t labeling,” Lexa said with stern seriousness.
“That’s cool, I had sex with Bellamy just after Finn, I don’t think he even remembers.”
“He’s an asshole, don’t take that personally,” Clarke grimaced. “Does Gina know?”
“I’m actually the one that pushed them together though I’m not too sure how that’s going to pan out since this is the first they’ve talked in two weeks and they’ve barely been together two months.”
“That doesn’t sound promising,” Lexa quipped.
Clarke, knowing better than to comment on Bellamy’s relationships or choices, didn’t say anything that might get back to him or make her sound jealous. She wasn’t , but she was still questioning how she felt about the Snapchat incident of his. He said it was a nonissue, but that didn’t negate the fact that earlier that day she sent a random person a half-naked Snapchat. Could it have been her?
“Earth to Clarke, which way is the party?” Raven asked.
They were already at Second Street and she looked up at the sign, left. The house party was to the left.
Clarke clambered into the Blake apartment around 2, she wasn’t tired and she knew from experience that Octavia was hell on wheels if anyone woke her up to talk just because they couldn’t sleep, picking Bellamy as the better option, flipping the light switch on, blinding herself for a moment. When her eyes adjusted to the light, Bellamy was leaning back on his elbows starling at her in the doorway with his black frame glasses on his face crooked, his book falling to the floor. “What?” he grumbled.
“You wear glasses?” she grimaced.
“Some of us weren’t born with a silver spoon in our mouths to make all of our fixable problems go away. What do you want?” he spat, rubbing his five o’clock shadow, he’s tired and the laziness of the motion was rather sexy and Clarke wanted to hang herself for the thought.
“Right,” she grimaced. She needed to make a point and she needed to make it quick, what did Lexa say about him? Oh, right. “Um, anyway, are you homophobic?”
“Excuse me?” he sounded offended but Clarke also asked rather quickly and half under her breath, hoping it sounded less offensive than it was.
“Do you think that having your dick balls deep inside another man is gross?” She didn’t have to get vulgar with it but somehow Clarke half expected him to cringe but was completely wrong if the smirk meant anything.
“Not at all where I was hoping this was going. No, I’ve done it before and didn’t hate it. The fuck is this about?”
“You were apparently giving Lexa strange looks when she was over earlier, I told her it’s just how your face is, but she thinks you’re a homophobe.”
“The thought of you going down on her grosses me out,” Bellamy grumbled.
“Meaning?” Clarke asked offended.
“What do you want from me? I’m woken up in the middle of the night to my sister’s best friend asking me if I’m a homophobe, taking the longest way to ask if I’ve ever been with other men. Yes, plural, anyway, since we aren’t having a ménage a trois, will you let me get some sleep before my stupidly early shift at Starbucks.”
Clarke’s eyes widened, “You work at Starbucks?”
“I will not bring any home for you.”
That slightly hurt because for one, he knows how much she loved their lattes and two, she hadn’t even asked. Fuck his arrogant ass. “Why are you so hostile?” she grimaced and retreated out of the room.
Clarke walked into Octavia’s room, the blue fairy lights that they hung around her ceiling illuminating the room with a soft glow, giving Clarke just enough light to see the makeshift bed on the floor, Octavia was sound asleep on her bed with her homework all around her. Clarke shook her head, Octavia’s been working so hard at school after the rough time she had last year with Atom. Clarke hated that she wasn’t around to stop people from treating Octavia like a leper but also knew that Octavia could kick every and anyone’s ass that crossed her.
Clarke changed into the pajamas she kept at their apartment and laid in the haphazard bed Octavia made for her when she realized that she’d probably fall asleep doing her homework, not giving Clarke room to share the bed with her like they usually did.
Clarke couldn’t sleep. She trolled through her tumblr feed, usually sharing her drawings and reblogging Arrow and The Flash gifs, but the shows were on hiatus for another month and there was nothing new for people to share. She sighed as her mind regrettably went to Snapchat, the guy couldn’t be Bellamy. Could it?
Clarke grimaced, what would it hurt? She pulled the highly inappropriate and worn out camisole halfway up her torso and snapped the picture, checking to make sure that her face wasn’t in it, just in case.
EmperorRebel93: You’re trouble
Clarke grimaced, noting that he didn’t open the picture. I allow screenshots ;)
EmperorRebel93: Not a good idea.
the girlfriend?
EmperorRebel93: No, because I don’t know you.
What the hell did that mean? He didn’t like the picture? What straight guy didn’t like boobs?
You didn’t like the pic earlier?
EmperorRebel93: That’s not the point
It IS the point, I did it for you.
EmperorRebel93: Who do you think I am?
A man who apparently doesn’t appreciate a woman’s body
EmperorRebel93: There’s more to a person than their bodies
And you care about that?
EmperorRebel93: Why wouldn’t I?
I always assumed you were an ass that screwed girls because of how they looked.
Fuck, she though he was Bellamy. She had to get that out of her head and had to fix this fast.
EmperorRebel93: Always? We know each other?
No.
EmperorRebel93: Really?
The way this guy spoke about people, how there was more to a person than their bodies, somehow turned Clarke on and figured out what to send him next. Yes, he was more about getting to know someone intellectually which was a huge turn on but damn it all to hell if she didn’t let him know that he was turning her on. She slipped her hand beneath her maroon lace underwear and started rubbing her clit, she bit her lip trying not to wake Octavia up. This was probably the dirtiest thing she had ever done. She snapped the pic and sent it, waiting a few moments before writing back to him, I don’t get anything in return?
EmperorRebel93: No, this isn’t…
EmperorRebel93: I can’t do this to my girlfriend
This isn’t cheating
EmperorRebel93: It is in my eyes
Suit yourself, g’night.
Clarke hated the thought of this guy not talking to her ever again but kind of respected his boundaries. That girlfriend of his was a real problem.
Shrugging, she plugged her phone in to charge and fell asleep faster than she ever had before.
Clarke went home in the morning and showered and changed into something appropriate to wear to lunch with her mother, they had been doing it since Clarke’s father died and it was the only time Abby had off from work.
“So, am I allowed to ask about your relationship status?” Abby asked after they ordered.
“I’m seeing a girl from my poli sci class, Lexa. She wants to be a politician, maybe president someday.”
“That’s a goal.”
“Really? You’re trying to use Lexa’s ambition against me? I love art, Mom. It’s what I’m amazing at, Dad would support it.”
“It wasn’t—Clarke, I love you and I want what’s best for you. If you think that’s art, I’m for it, but I also want you to think realistically. You loved coming to work with me and following me around. You’re good with people, you’d be a wonderful doctor.”
“That’s because I’d study my ass off to get there, but sometimes I wake up and just want to draw and paint, I can’t do that if I’m being called in at all hours of the night for surgeries. If I work at a gallery or a museum, I could because I wouldn’t be drowning in a stranger’s blood all day.”
“It’s your life, Clarke, I’m your mother but at the end of the day it’s your life. Don’t come crawling to me if you fail.”
“I won’t,” Clarke stated and they ate their meals in silence.
When Clarke walked into the apartment, she found Octavia in her room writing like a crazy person.
“You need to drop everything and shower, I need cheering up and I vaguely remember inviting Raven over during one of my drunken moments last night, she’s actually very cool and hella smart, it’s scary but a good scary.”
“Bad lunch with Abby?” Octavia asked putting her pen down. Clarke knew how to get Octavia off track quickly. “Bellamy’s asleep. He came home from work, leaving a trail of clothes all the way to his room. I don’t want to go in there if he’s naked.”
“We’ll call Miller, tell him to invite Murphy and what’s her name and we’ll call the boys and Maya and… Harper?”
“You’d have to ask Monty, she’s his ex.”
“Hey, Jasper and Maya are your hetero couple,” Clarke exclaimed happily, glad that that’s settled.
“No, I do not want a Jasper. I get a Jasper, you slap me.”
Clarke laughed, “Will do. I’ll call Miller, you take a shower.”
“Will you make cookies?” Octavia asked with a smile.
“Me? I can google the recipe and attempt but no promises on the outcome.”
“Wait for me,” Octavia laughed and got up to shower.
While Octavia showered Clarke called all of their friends to come over, knowing that they all would since it basically meant harassing an exhausted Bellamy, which is everyone’s favorite thing to do. Especially Clarke.
Miller arrived when the cookies were in the oven for about ten minutes and the three of them agreed to wait for them to be ready before they wake Bellamy up and they burn because he’s a cranky brat.
The cookies were out and Octavia and Miller raced into Bellamy’s room, jumping on the bed, Miller practically straddling him and he was awake by the time Clarke settled against the doorframe.
“Blake, you can’t sleep through Cards Against Humanity, I won’t stand for it,” Miller grumbled.
“Get the hell off me man! Once was enough.”
Once was… oh, Clarke thought. Bellamy and Miller… she couldn’t get that image out of her head now.
“Gross,” Octavia grimaced. “Anyone else you’ve fucked, Bell?”
“Not Clarke,” he stated, rolling back over, wrapping his pillow around his head.
“I’m right here to confirm,” she said from a distance.
Bellamy flipped back over and glared at her, “You’re the reason I’m sleeping in the middle of the afternoon, waking me up at 2 am and asking me about my apparent hypocritical sexuality, or so your girlfriend thinks.”
“We’re not…it’s not official,” she said, wringing her hands together, it’s a nervous habit she needed to quit because it’s fucking obvious. Turn the tables back on him, her brain screamed. “You also screwed your girlfriend’s best friend, so you’re a wonderful person.”
“Shit,” Bellamy exclaimed, reaching for his phone. “I was supposed to go to her dorm. Well, I’m single.”
“You’re a dumbass,” Octavia chuckled, climbing off him and over to Clarke. “We ordered pizza and Murphy is coming over with Jasper and Monty. Apparently Jasper has a girlfriend now, she’s coming too.”
“So, you’re saying I can’t sleep because we’re having a party?” Bellamy asked, staring at Clarke’s hands that were still being twisted together. Get it together, Clarke, it’s just his bedroom.
“A get together,” Miller corrected.
“Where’s Bryan?”
“Gone.”
“We’re both single, this isn’t happening again.”
“No, thanks, our friendship was altered.”
On that note, Clarke and Octavia departed the conversation, not needing to know the details on the boys’ friendship. Miller plopped on the other end of the sofa as Octavia paid the pizza man, letting Jasper, Monty and Maya in, sitting on the floor and the chair, wherever they could. Clarke heard Bellamy get out of the bathroom and into his room and excused herself to the bathroom but headed to Bellamy’s room instead, the Miller confession still confusing her a little.
She pushed the cracked door open, revealing Bellamy’s half naked body. Well, he’s naked under the towel wrapped around his waist. The freckles were unexpected but still hot as they trickled down his rippling abs and fuck, Bellamy is EmperorRebel93.
“You and Miller?” she asked before he noticed she was there gawking at him.
“Once.”
“Anyone else I know?”
“Murphy,” he smirked. “But that was hate sex.”
“Have you screwed through our entire friends list?”
“Just the ones of legal age.”
“So not Jasper or Monty,” Clarke clarified, ignoring her age and that she wasn’t on the list because he doesn’t like her like that. He’ll hate her for catfishing him whether she told him now or waitEd it out and acted just as surprised as him.
“Nope.”
“The fact that I didn’t know this, annoys me.”
“The fact that you had to ask, annoys me.”
Hostile asshole!
“Why do you always do that? I’m trying to talk to you, not argue.”
Bellamy scowled, “I’m in a towel.”
“It’s not like I haven’t seen a penis before, Bellamy. I’m bi, not gay.”
“I didn’t ask for your sexuality, Clarke. Besides, we all already know, it doesn’t change how we feel about you.”
“Did Bellamy Blake just say that we’re friends?” Clarke scowled, not sure how she felt about it.
“No, that was you, I said it doesn’t change how we feel about you.”
“So you have feelings for me?” she smirked, not knowing if she has feelings for him, there are too many variables.
“It’s annoyance towards you, don’t get too excited.”
“Oh, right, Snapchat girl,” Clarke smirked, hoping he didn’t see too much into it.
“She’s…I don’t know, something. I was all about Gina until thirty minutes ago.”
“Yeah, you’re hurt,” she smirked.
“Hey, I’m a fantastic actor, you don’t know what I’m feeling.”
“Oh, you’re mature enough for emotions now?”
Bellamy’s cheeks were turning a shade of pink Clarke’s only seen when he unknowingly ate straight hot sauce. “Will you get the hell out of my room?”
“Like I’ve said, it’s a penis.”
“I’m just trying to save you because once you see him, you won’t want anything else.”
“He’s impressive?” Clarke asked seriously and Bellamy scoffed.
“Beyond.”
“Are you hitting on me?”
“No, trying to scare you off.”
Suit yourself, Clarke grimaced and turned, about to leave.
“Clarke,” he called. “Don’t stay in something that you don’t feel is right.”
She grimaced at him again. He’s suddenly caring enough to give her relationship advise? He’s the one that didn’t want to be friends, he couldn’t…he shouldn’t care to give her advice. “Get dressed, Bellamy,” she breathed.
Clarke walked back into the living room and took her seat on the couch and grabbed a slice of pizza from the box in front of her, in the few minutes that she was gone, Murphy arrived, commandeering the worn out leather chair from Monty, who’s now sitting between her and Miller on the couch. She’d just finished her slice when Bellamy stormed in.
“My house, I want a seat.”
“Clarke, you’re the last to sit, get your ass up,” Murphy said and Clarke looked up at Bellamy with a scowl that he hoped he read as pure hatred because that was the best seat in the house and she’s being forced to give it up.
“Stop thinking about my dick, Clarke, it’s giving him an ego and everyone already knows that Murphy wants it again.”
“Blowing up my spot!” Murphy exclaimed. “And I’m happy to announce that I have a fourth date with a pretty girl and your big mouth isn’t doing me any favors.”
“We all know you love getting rammed in the ass, or the face,” Miller smirked.
“You two?” Octavia exclaimed shocked.
“There’s a lot about us you don’t want to know about.”
“When the hell is it my turn?” Monty asked, looking offended.
“When you’re eighteen,” Miller smiled at him, Clarke smirked, of course Miller has a thing for Monty, it was obvious, but for him to be so forthright about it was something new for him.
“Clarke, damn it, get your tight little ass up so I can sit down in my own house.”
Clarke stood, not liking the situation of having to sit on the arm of the couch or on the floor, obviously choosing the couch arm. As Bellamy passed her she leaned up and whispered, “Tight?” before he sat down and she took her seat next to him.
They ate pizza and mocked each other and attempted to play Cards Against Humanity, Clarke kept losing her balance, sitting on the arm rest and kept grabbing onto Bellamy’s leg to try and prevent herself from falling into his lap. It was also really fun seeing Bellamy’s response to her as he stiffened, losing track of the white card he wanted to pick and made really lame answers that mainly didn’t make any sense and didn’t make anyone laugh. When they normally played, he was usually in second place, right behind Miller who was always racing ahead with his sass and sarcasm, literally the King of Sarcasm while Bellamy was deemed the Rebel King, Clarke was deemed the princess by Bellamy. Not his princess... huh. This Snapchat situation was a big problem.
Her phone buzzed in her dorm late that night and Clarke picked her phone up from her desk before it woke Zoe, she’s a light sleeper.
EmperorRebel93: You up?
Clarke looked at her phone, slightly bemused and slightly concerned he’d figure it out. Look who’s being assertive :)
EmperorRebel93: Maybe I just need some help tonight
Sure, what would you like? I’m here for your pleasure, you just need to reciprocate for me. The words killed Clarke, she somehow wanted to be in his room with him actually helping him get off, not this. When did that happen?
EmperorRebel93: How dirty can you talk?
Very, but it’s kinda difficult to text while attempting to get off
EmperorRebel93: So just pics?
Is that what you want?
She waited for his response that took longer than usual, she knew he was quick witted but this was different for him.
EmperorRebel93: As close as I can get, right?
Abs like yours, you can get whatever girl you want. Yet you’re on snapchat with me
EmperorRebel93: Had a night in with friends, strangely sober
I thought the phrase was sober Sunday.
EmperorRebel93: It is, but I think we ran out of beer, you’d think with Cards Against Humanity, we’d want to be drinking.
Cards Against Humanity? Did you win?
EmperorRebel93: I think I came in last place, my mind was otherwise engaged
Should I be jealous?
EmperorRebel93: No, she was just trying to get on my nerves and yeah, it kind of worked.
So you’re using me? Do you like her?
EmperorRebel93: I don’t know, she’s annoyed me since we were kids. She’s still a kid, barely legal.
What if she’s always had a crush on you and never told you? What if she was in love with you and knew you felt annoyed so she kept her feelings to herself?
EmperorRebel93: She’s a fearless princess, she wouldn’t…
EmperorRebel93: I don’t think she could hide
Fearless princess? Sounds made up. Everyone is afraid of something.
EmperorRebel93: She doesn’t want to let her mother down. It’d be different if her father was alive, she’d be doing what she loves, not what she’s good at.
Sounds like you love her.
EmperorRebel93: No, I… I’ve known her since I was 12. That’s 11 years.
Half your life, you sure it hasn’t turned into love.
EmperorRebel93: Even if it did, she’s my sister’s best friend, it’d be awkward.
Wow, that’s a difficult situation, I don’t know what I would do, Clarke lied. Of course she knew what she would do, she’d fucking tell him. Rather she’d practically assault him with her mouth until he told her to stop or let it happen and hate himself after because that’s just who Bellamy was.
EmperorRebel93: Apparently I talk to strangers, begging them for nudes.
Still? I thought I got you off the topic ;)
EmperorRebel93: Unfortunately for you I have a tent in my boxers
Impressive, can I see?
EmperorRebel93: I thought you were sending me something
How is this fair? I’m always sending you dirty pics and all I’ve seen from you are your abs.
EmperorRebel93: Aww, you remember :) feminism makes it fair.
Do not blame me for the beliefs of other women. I’m not them
Okay, maybe that was too much Clarke, she’d thought she’d dialed it back but apparently when he made feminist comments, she turned into herself again, which was the fast track to Bellamy hating her more than he already did.
He didn’t respond, Clarke didn’t expect him to but then there was suddenly a picture notification and Clarke smirked before remembering that he didn’t know, it’s kind of a downer that she knew and he didn’t but then again he hated her, or so he acted as though he hated her.
Clicking on the photo it was horrible lighting, but lord was he big, his hand wrapped around the base and there was a ton of tan skin that extended past his hand. She groaned, she wasn’t actually supposed to want him. This was just for fun but damn did the expanse of his girth and length of his shaft make her ache for him inside her. God, she didn’t think she’d get this turned on by him.
She heard the stories on campus about him, heard some from Miller and Murphy, but she always assumed they were exaggerated. His hands seemed like a normal size but that apparently didn’t mean anything. Right, she had to respond...
Please tell me you have small hands
EmperorRebel93: ? no
Oh. Wow
EmperorRebel93: Wow good?
Wow, you’re big.
EmperorRebel93: I’ve had complaints
Clarke rolled her eyes, she doubtEd that. I’m not complaining, I’m actually really horny just from seeing that
EmperorRebel93: Yeah? I’d ask if you’d want to meet but...
We could live across the world from each other?
EmperorRebel93: That too
Wait, what? What were you going to say?
EmperorRebel93: You could be a man, though I don’t have a preference of gender, I do prefer guys to not have breasts.
Clarke laughed, it was loud and Zoe rolled over grumbling something about class. LOL I’m a girl! And bisexual and I live in Virginia.
EmperorRebel93: Virginia is a fairly large state.
“Lie,” her brain told her but she couldn’t, he’d probably figure it out eventually and she didn’t want to add this lie on top of the one she was already telling. So she wrote: Arkadia specifically.
EmperorRebel93: Wow, and we’ve never met?
Clarke didn’t know what to say, she didn’t want to lie because they’ve known each other for so long, most of her life and lying to him wasn’t fair. Avoidance was her best bet right now.
Jerk yourself off for me
EmperorRebel93: Yes ma’am
Show me.
Thirty seconds later he sent her a video if him stroking himself, a stifled groan, probably for Octavia’s sake, she didn’t need to hear her brother getting off.
God, that’s hot, she wrote, a tear escaping her eyes, realizing that this might be the only way she’ll ever get him after he figured it out.
Clarke continued their little game for a few weeks, every night they’d exchange pictures and fight in person when they saw each other, but it was getting harder and harder to separate herself from BustyBabe17, she’d type something that Clarke would say and delete it, having to think of something else to say because BustyBabe17 wasn’t snarky to Bellamy. That’s what he liked about her, but it was still Clarke and she couldn’t keep it up so she was slowly pulling away from it because it hurt her to lie to him all the time. He’d initiate it most of the time because of it and she’d ignore it when she could but ignoring him hurt too. His words, telling her what he’d do to her if she were with him were the worst because she could actually be with him if he didn’t hate her.
EmperorRebel93: Are you not into this anymore? She read after two months, it’s been three days since their last session, for lack of a better word. She was studying hard for her midterms, spring break fast approaching.
Midterms are kicking my ass
EmperorRebel93: I hear orgasms are wonderful stress relievers
I have an algebra final in the morning, maybe next week?
EmperorRebel93: Okay
She liked that he wanted to do this more, loved it actually, but the lying hurt her too much.
Btw some girls might take the neediness the wrong way, I’m not one of them though
EmperorRebel93: How’d you take it?
Concern. It’s nice, haven’t had that in a while.
EmperorRebel93: Okay, let me know how your exams go.
You too, she grimaced after pressing send. He hadn’t told BustyBabe17 that he’s in grad school. That’s Clarke knowledge, shit.
She exited the app and opened her messenger, clicking on Raven’s contact. They’ve grown closer the past few months, not best friend close but Clarke knows she can trust Raven with this, that she won’t tell Octavia or Bellamy.
Clarke (11:49) Can we talk tomorrow? Coffee @ 4?
Raven (11:52) Of course! Should I be worried?
Clarke (11:53) No, I just can’t talk to Octavia about it. I have a final right before so I might be late or early. Thanks Rae.
Raven (11:54) Get some sleep, we’ll talk tomorrow :)
Clarke put her phone on her desk and tried sleeping but couldn’t so she decided to distract her mind from Bellamy with polynomials.
Clarke ran out of the classroom to meet Raven, she thought an hour would have been fine with the midterm but the questions were actually rather difficult and she got out at 4:15 instead of 4, having to get to the coffee shop before her shift at the Unity Diner at 5.
“Sorry, I’m late, the midterm was brutal,” Clarke told Raven as she sat in the corner booth that had two mugs on the table.
“No problem,” Raven smiled. “I got you a caramel latte.”
“Awesome! Just what I needed!” Clarke took a huge sip of the drink and sighed with happiness.
“You have a shift soon, do you want to just jump right into whatever it is that you can’t talk to Octavia about?”
“You don’t mind?”
“No, it’s cool. I have some code to write for class anyway, I suck at coding.”
“Wow, didn’t think I’d hear you admit to not being good at something.”
“Clarke,” Raven scolded, waiting for her to say what she called the brunette for.
“I’ve been sexting Bellamy. I mean, at first I didn’t know it was him, abs were abs but then he talked about me to the girl and I figured it out and I want to tell him because the secrets are killing me, but he already hates me so I don’t know what to do.”
“You and Bellamy are perfect for each other, how doesn’t he know?”
“No faces.”
“So he talks about you to you?” Raven grimaced, popping a piece of her scone in her mouth.
“Just the one time, he called me annoying and, keeping an open mind, I tried to tell him that it sounds like he loves me. It sounds weird but I was trying to put on the character of BustyBabe17 and—“
“That’s your username?”
“I couldn’t think of anything else and it’s not like it isn’t true. He does look at them all the time, willing or not. They’re kind of all over the place.”
“I’m well aware, but Clarke, he is going to hate you. So you need to ovary up and tell him.”
“Yeah, but it’s been two months, I should have told him once I realized.”
“Ideally yeah, but you’ve been freaking out, you ghosted Lexa, which wasn’t cool but I understand it now, you were thinking about Bellamy.”
“I still can’t believe you had sex with him.”
“Yep, and since you’re in love with him, I’m not going to tell you about it because your experience with him is going to be vastly different since the love factor is in there.”
“I’m not…” Clarke looked at the floor, knowing how transparent she was being. “It’s new, I don’t know what to do about it, about him. I can’t change how he feels.”
Raven sighed, “You can’t, he has to figure it out himself, but knowing where you stand on the matter could help him. It’s Bellamy, Clarke. He’s an idiot when it comes to you, or so Miller and Octavia tell me.”
Clarke finished her finals and went out to celebrate with Octavia, taking her to see the new Dave Franco movie and went back to the Blake apartment like she did every other weekend, crashing on Octavia’s bed after giving each other pedicures, it’s their go to when there’s no good movie on TV and Netflix has failed them for the umpteenth time.
Clarke tended to wake up early when she had absolutely no reason to so she went into the kitchen, making pancakes and mimosas to celebrate acing her algebra midterm with a ninety-four.
She scoured the fridge for the champagne she bought with her fake ID two weeks ago and stashed in the Blake fridge so her mother wouldn’t find it. It wasn’t there, she sighed in defeat.
“What are you looking for?”
Clarke squeaked and jumped up, turning to look at Bellamy with a smug smile plastered on his face. “How long have you been standing there?” she breathed, trying to catch her breath.
“Long enough to know that you can’t find what it is you’re looking for. So?” he asked expectantly.
“I had a bottle of champagne hidden in the back for when I got my midterm scores in algebra, I kind of suck at math. I can’t find it and I got a ninety-four.”
“Congrats, and I think O and Jasper had champagne last week.”
“You’re the worst overbearing, overprotective older brother I’ve ever met. She’s sixteen and drinking?”
“She’s in my apartment where she’s not going anywhere and who are you to talk, you have to have a fake ID to buy champagne.”
Clarke rolled her eyes, “Or someone could have bought it for me.”
“With algebra for a lame…” Bellamy stopped short and Clarke waited for him to finish his insult but his face was void of emotion and color.
“Bella—“
“Don’t fucking say my name right now,” he spat.
Shit, he figured it out and he hates me more than ever. I should have told him. “What just happened?” she asked, playing dumb and hurt.
“Get out of my apartment. Get your clothes, get whatever the hell you need and get out, I can’t even look at you right now.” His stare proved it because he wasn’t looking at her, he was looking through her and it stung. The worst feeling in the world and she couldn’t stop him from feeling how he did because she would do the same if she stood where he was, finding out that he was the one that knew instead of her.
Clarke opened her mouth to say something but knew better and walked to Octavia’s room. She yanked her phone out of the charger and grabbed everything she could get her hands on, not caring that it looked like she was escaping a one night stand, doing the walk of shame.
When she came out, Bellamy was sitting on the couch, his head braced in his hands with his back to everything. “I—I’m sorry,” she attempted, her voice cracking slightly before she closed the door behind her.
Clarke sat on the roof of her dorm, a bottle of tequila in hand, her legs swinging over the side. She loved the view from up there, the way the sun sets beyond the trees, the horizon going on for miles. How one slip could be the end. She hadn’t been to the Blake apartment in three weeks and it was almost her birthday. She hadn’t received any messages from Bellamy or EmperorRebel93, not that she expected to but still. She missed him like she missed her dad, like a part of her was missing. A Bellamy shaped hole cut out of her heart and it ached all the time. Clarke hated how it affected her friendship with Octavia, she knew that Bellamy kicked her out two weeks ago and Clarke was giving him space, but it was hard for them to hang out when he was purposely hogging his sister to keep her from Clarke.
“Oh, tequila, don’t tell me it’s a suicide,” Clarke heard a vaguely familiar voice behind her as she turned and saw Lexa standing by the stairwell.
“Are you going to shit on me too? Because I don’t exactly need it,” Clarke grumbled out.
“Bellamy troubles?” she asked, sitting next to Clarke, taking a swig of the tequila.
“I didn’t mean to ghost you.”
“I know, you were studying your ass off,” Lexa winked.
“You still didn’t deserve it.”
“It’s fine, Clarke, I know it wasn’t because of Bellamy, it’s Costia too. We own our problems, some farther out on our sleeves than others.”
“I didn’t know how I felt and now he hates me,” Clarke said, tears swelling in her eyes.
Lexa took another swig before handing it to Clarke who practically chugged it down. “He’d be an idiot to hate you. You’re beautiful, smart, talented, you’re the whole package. If he doesn’t see that, he shouldn’t be worth it.”
“Raven says he’s slowly figuring it out or he’s insanely stubborn,” Clarke gulped down more tequila. “But we all knew that already.”
“You two will figure it out, I’m almost sure of it.”
Clarke nodded, “Thank you, Lexa, I know that this probably wasn’t what you were expecting when you came out here.”
“A crying Clarke? Nope. Good luck, Clarke, please don’t fall,” Lexa said, standing back up, going back down to the dorms.
A week passed and it was Clarke’s birthday, she came up with the idea to go out to a fancy dinner in Polis, needing a change of scenery. She invited everyone, even Bellamy but that was way before the Snapchat fiasco and she didn’t expect him to go so Miller planned on picking her up on his way to Monty’s where he left his suit for ironing, Monty being nice enough to agree to do the job with nothing else going on. So while Clarke waited in the living room of the Green household, she heard Miller on the phone in the kitchen.
“Is he still being a spiteful asshole?.. Liar, that was the plan. Monty is fixing my tie, we’re leaving in three…yeah, tell him I’m going to personally kick his ass because I know I can… Bye.”
Clarke grimaced, Bellamy still hated her. She was half hoping he wouldn’t show because she didn’t want to be miserable, knowing that she was the only one he wouldn’t be talking to. He played a good game but everyone would know.
“How is he?” Clarke asked when the two boys walked into the living room
“I don’t…”
“Miller, please, he’s not going to speak to me, I’m well aware of that, but I want an honest answer, not Octavia telling me what she thinks I want to hear.”
“He doesn’t say it, but he misses you. I don’t know if he’ll ever admit it to himself to let you in but it’s in there. You were wrong, and I think that’s clouding his judgement.”
“Not at all what I asked. Let’s go.”
When they pulled up to the apartment building, Clarke jumped out of the car, deciding to face Bellamy’s wrath head on. It’s the best option, face him.
She knocked on the door and it swung open a moment later and Bellamy was standing in the doorway, they stood there for a moment, staring at each other. It’s been a month, neither of them have changed, his five o’clock shadow was a little thicker than usual but she liked it, it suited him. He was dressed for the restaurant, that was at least a good sign. Or so she thought until he said, “Let’s get this over with,” as he pushed past her.
She tried hiding how hurt she was when she saw Octavia run out from her bedroom at the end of the hall. “Happy birthday,” she exclaimed, hugging Clarke tightly. “I’m sorry about him.”
“Don’t, it was me, I did it to myself.”
“Hey, he isn’t worth ruining your makeup for.”
“I know he’s your brother, Octavia, but he’s more than that to me and I’m dying from him hating me. I thought… it doesn’t matter what I thought,” Clarke said whipping her tears away, grateful for the waterproof mascara she bought just in case he did decide to come out with them tonight. “Bellamy and I will never talk again,” she said with finality. She’s not over him, she probably never will be but that’s the burden she has to bear.
She put on a brave face as Octavia tried understanding what Clarke had just told her, not fully knowing what was being said and the two best friends walked down the stairs and outside to the car where Bellamy was sitting in the back next to Monty who was belting out the song on the radio, the new X Ambassadors, Clarke realized.
They got to the restaurant, meeting Jasper, Maya, Murphy, Emori, and Raven, who all rode in Raven’s car. Clarke was glad she accepted the invitation, she didn’t know how she’d have gotten through the last month without her. She wasn’t as good as Octavia, but she was a close second.
When they were seated, Bellamy sat as far away from her as he could, purchasing himself between Murphy and Raven, Clarke sitting between Maya, Jasper’s new girlfriend and Octavia, she smiled and listened to all the stories that Jasper and Monty loved to retell and some new ones that Maya was telling, she occasionally glanced over at Bellamy, he was the party pooper. Then she watched Raven say something to him and he exclaimed “No!” at her causing everyone but Miller, Octavia and Jasper to take their attention away from Maya’s story. Something about Van Gogh’s impact on post-modern art, Clarke laughed at the mention of Banksy moments before his outburst that just killed her mood entirely.
Their entrees came and left and they were out of the restaurant, saying goodbye to Octavia, Jasper, Maya, Monty, Miller and Bellamy. he still stayed as far away from her as possible, talking to Raven and Murphy.
“Come on, you two,” Raven said to Murphy and Emori, trying to get them to start heading to the club before Octavia was in the car.
“Bell, you coming?” O asked, opening the passenger door and hugged Clarke.
She couldn’t listen to his bullshit, he’s probably going to stay to get some hook up at the club just to rub it in her face.
“Princess,” he called after her, his fingers grazed against her forearm and she jerked away.
“Why are you here?”
“It’s your birthday.”
Clarke spun around, thoroughly pissed at him, “Took you long enough to say it.”
“Clarke, are you seriously pissed at me? You knew for two months who I was and you didn’t tell me.” He combed his hair back, “Fuck, I had a towel around my waist and refused to change in front of you because you hadn’t seen my dick when you had.”
He’s really blaming her for that, she didn’t even know it was him when that happened, she suspected but she didn’t know for certain until that night. “I—that’s when I found out, Bellamy. I didn’t know until you told her—me—about me.” She swallowed and squared her shoulders, “Believe me.” She scoffed, “If I knew that it was you, I never would have done any of it.”
“You regret it,” he asked, frowning.
“I didn’t, no. I—I was going to tell you, but I couldn’t figure out how without you hating me more than you already did which was weird because I did like you. Everything we did amplified that factor, but now I fucking hate you and don’t want you to be here.”
Bellamy sighed, he looked defeated, like he’s been beating himself up the last month just like she’s been doing. “Clarke, I’m trying here. Okay? Yeah, I was forced to be here but I didn’t have to stay. I’m choosing to be here with you because I…”
She watched him struggle with the words, the words that she could easily say without hesitation. They were stuck on the tip of his tongue as they stared at each other on the sidewalk in Polis, the light from the street lamps turning Bellamy’s black hair a bluish hue that made him even more handsome than before.
“What?” Clarke demanded harshly, she needed to hear him say something, some semblance of hope but he just stared at her. “God, you’re such an asshole!” she exclaimed, turning and following Raven and Murphy.
“You want me to tell you that I love you?” Bellamy called after her and she froze. “I can’t because I’d be lying but fuck, Clarke, if you just gave me some fucking time, maybe I could,” he said standing right behind her, his breath moving the curls on her shoulder.
“Don’t make me empty promises on my birthday,” she whispered.
“It’s the promise of a belated birthday gift.”
“Your love is a gift?” Clarke chuckled, turning around. He’s an idiot.
“Just ask Octavia,” Bellamy smirked. Okay, so he was trying and Clarke appreciated it, but it was nothing that she wanted. She wantEd him to sweep her off her feet and proclaim his love for her, shout it from the roof tops, but she knew that with the way their relationship hasLD been since it’s inception almost twelve years ago, she was lucky that he was making jokes and they weren’t fighting.
Clarke chuckled, a tear she’d been fighting off fell, slipping down her cheek and Bellamy caught it on her jaw, leaving his rough, over-worked, calloused fingers on her skin. “Bellamy,” she whispered.
“Mm,” he tried.
“I don’t want your half promise. I want something more tangible.”
Bellamy scoffed with a smirk, “I can’t even surprise you, we’re going to be so boring.”
“To everybody else, maybe.”
“God, you don’t shut up.”
“How about you make me,” Clarke challenged.
Bellamy smirked, pulling her chin up for a better angle as his lips crashed down onto hers and it felt to Clarke as thought the world shifted, that everything fell into place exactly where it should be. She was with Bellamy, he was trying for her. The messy, nervousness of their kiss fell away as they pulled each other closer, finding their niche in each other.
Fifteen Years Later:
Clarke stood at the oven, stirring the mashed potatoes. She heard the rumbling of feet barrel through the front door and she smiled, she’d gotten so used to the sound the past eight years that she couldn’t help but smile at the meaning.
A moment later she had two sets of arms wrapped around her, one on the waist and the other her thighs. “How was school?” she asked turning around, mussing their mops of inky hair up, never getting enough of it.
“Valentine’s Day project,” Jacob grimaced, he was barely ten and already so much like his father.
“I get to bring home the class bunny next weekend!” Aurora exclaimed excited.
“That’s wonderful sweetie, what’s it’s name?”
“Chester.”
“Chester the Rabbit, sounds perfect!” Clarke smiled at her daughter, she’s the spitting image of Octavia at six years old. Clarke would wonder if the kids were actually hers if she hadn’t birthed them herself. “Jake, where’s your father?”
“I think he went to Uncle Miller’s.”
Clarke rolled her eyes, of course he would go to the neighbor’s before seeing her. “Please make sure he’s home for dinner in a half hour,” she smiled, turning back to the potatoes before they burned.
Twenty minutes later, Bellamy walked in the front door and barreled into the kitchen, hugging Clarke so tightly from behind, she thought she wouldn’t be able to breathe as he nuzzled his face in her neck. “You smell like home,” he mumbled into her skin.
“I’d better. How’s Miller?”
“Good, Harper is about to pop any day now.”
“I’m glad that the three of them figured it out or… I don’t understand it, but I’m glad it’s happening for them,” Clarke said, not understanding the co-parenting thing that Miller, Monty and Harper are going to do with the baby she’s been growing for eight and a half months.
“Me neither, but they’ve all come to an understanding and signed a lot of paperwork and they’re happy.”
“Good. Octavia said that Lincoln needs to talk to you.”
“How many times do I have to give him the okay to ask her to marry him? This will be the tenth.”
Clarke chuckled, turning around in Bellamy’s arms. “I love you, you ridiculous man,” she smiled.
“You married me.”
“And you didn’t even ask my father if you could.”
“He was a good man, he always liked me,” Bellamy stated proudly.
“You were a menace that hated me, I think he’d approve of you now though.”
“Awesome!” the mood ruined by their son. “You’re both here, I have a few questions for you about Valentine’s Day.”
“Can we do this over dinner? It’s almost ready, just has to be served.”
“Jake, get your sister for us,” Bellamy said and the boy strode off so he leaned down and kissed Clarke as thoroughly as he could before their children came back.
They sat at the table minutes later and gave Jacob the okay to ask his questions.
“Dad, when did you realized that you were in love with Mom?”
“When I kissed her for the first time.”
“What?” Clarke asked, shocked. “You didn’t say…”
“I couldn’t then, I did when I could.”
“Mom,” Jacob said, reeling them back to the moment. “When did you know that you were in love with Dad?”
“Three months before him apparently,” she joked.
“Really? Statistically, men know before women.”
“I’ve been in love with your mother for over twenty years, Jake, I was just too stupid to realize what it was. I knew on her eighteenth birthday, when I kissed her that first time.”
“Ew,” Aurora said, her face already covered with mashed potatoes.
Clarke smiled, “The thought of me kissing your daddy was pretty gross.”
“Hey!” Bellamy grimaced while the rest of the Blake family laughed.
“Jacob, your father and I are lucky, we’ve known each other forever. Not everybody gets to fall in love with their best friend, no matter how much they argued. It was just practice for now, where we discuss compromise.”
“Is that what we do?” Bellamy grimaced, his mouth full, spewing turkey all over the table making Aurora laugh hysterically.
Clarke was right, they were lucky. Happy, healthy, in love and with two beautiful, smart, perfect children that they couldn’t ask for anything more. They had everything they needed. Clarke and Bellamy Blake, together they could get through anything.
Notes:
Okay, so I thought I was done and that I was ready to post this around eight on 9/19/16, but then i got the idea of Jacob and Aurora and the Valentine's Day project and yeah four hours later this is the end result.
Please leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed this, they feed my soul and sometimes inspire me!
XOXO, JSull
