Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

We where all gasping for breath, screams heard all around us. Are fans chanting are names.
I love being on stage.
It makes me feel free in a way.
It's a place I can forget about everything and just chill with my hyungs.

The music stops, and we strike are final poses.
Everyone starts clapping, as we bow in unison.
"Hello everyone" Namjoon shouts through his microphone.
"You all having a good time"

The fans scream back.
This is what I want to do for the rest of my life.
This is what I was born for.
The stage.

Suddenly I hear a loud bang, like a gun shot.
I look down to see my white shirt quickly turning a dark Crimson colour.
My microphone falls out my hand as I drop onto the floor.

"KOOKIE!!" The members shout running over to me.
"It hurts" I scream out as tears fall down my face.
I feel my head be lifted up and placed into someone's lap.
"Shh it's ok everything will be fine, we are calling an ambulance now" I hear Jin hyung say to me.
I look up to see him, tears slowly falling down his cheeks.
My vision starts to go blury and my eyes start drooping.
"No kookie stay awake for us yeah" j-hope tells.

"I-I can't" I say finally shutting them.

Beep.... Beep.... Beep....
My eyes open slowly. Everything around me is white.

"Jungkook can you hear me" someone asks, I see a blurry figure hovering over me.
I blink a Thew times before my eye sight becomes a bit better.
"Your finally awake" they say. I'm assuming there a doctor because of what they are wearing.
I look around to see about 3 doctors in the room, including the one hovering over me.
I also notice I have a mask on my face to help me breath.
"Do you know why your here" the doctor asks.
At first I'm confused.
After a while of thinking it came back to me.

I was on stage with the members, we where only about 10 minuets into the show.
When I heard a gun shot.
I remember the others all crying around me.
And j-hope telling me to stay awake.
I probably blacked out after that.

I nod to his question.
"That's good, your friends haven't left the hospital since it happened. You've been asleep 4 days"
My eyes widen at what he said. I reach up to take of my mask but he stops me.
"No you need to keep that on a while longer, you had an operation when you got here to remove the bullet and since then you have needed just a little help breathing. I'm glad to tell you the operation went fine and the bullet didn't hit any major arteries or anything, your a very lucky young man" he says smiling at me.

(Jins PoV)
Everything has been crazy since the incident.
Taehyung and jimin cried the longest.
Suga and J-hope have hardly said a word.
And me and Namjoon have tried are best to keep everything in order.
I am the oldest and he is the leader. We have to try and keep everything together.
I'm going to be honest, I cried a lot. I was crying with taehyung and jimin most of the time.
Namjoon was the only one who could keep it together.
Although he did cry a lot when it first happened.
We all did.
It's now been 4 days. And we basically haven't left the hospital.
Except for the necessitys. Food every now and then not that we wher that hungry, we all went back to the dorm for about an hour yesterday to wash properly. Other than that no one has wanted to leave. Incase we came back to find him.. Gone

The second day we was aloud to go in and see him 2 at a time.
I went in by myself. I wanted to see him alone.
He looked so fragile.
If you picked him up he would probably break.
His skin was the palest I've ever seen it before.
He's slowly been getting skinnier too.

I couldn't help but break down while i was in there.
In a way he was like a son to me.
I've seen him grow up.
I've been there for him through the good and bad times in his life.
And seeing him like this breaks my heart.

Eventually my time was up to stay with him, Suga and Namjoon had to practically drag me out of there.
I didn't want to leave him, I was worried that would be the last time I see him again.

Back to the present time. We are all waiting outside his room, when we loud beeping from inside.
"W-what's that" jimin said jumping out his seat.
Suddenly doctors come out of knowhere and run into his room.
Jimin and taehyung break down in tears again.
J-hope and suga rap them in hugs, trying to get them to stop crying.
Another doctor comes past and was about to go into kookies room before I stop him.
"What's going on" I say a tear sliding down my cheek.
"It's ok, we are not sure yet but as soon as I find out I will come and tell you" he says going into the room.
Namjoon walks up to me and hugs me from behind.
"He will be fine, are little kookie is strong" he tells me.
He unwraps himself from me and wipes away my tears.

The door opens up. The doctor I just saw smiles at us.
"He's waking up"
Those 3 words make my break down crying again, but this time because I'm happy.
"I told you" Namjoon tells me.
The other members are all smiling.
"I knew he would wake up soon" I hear suga tell jimin and taehyung.

(1 hour later)
We are all still sitting outside kookies room.
The doctors have been in there a long time and it's starting to worry me. Even though they said he was waking up I can't help but think something has happened to him.
I hear a shout coming from the room, and a Thew people telling him to calm down.
"I want to see hyung!!" I hear him shout, even though his voice sounds rough.
Suddenly the door opens and one of the doctors pear round.
"I think it's best you come in, he's refusing to take any treatment without you in here" he says to me.
I look at the other member, they all give me a reassuring nod.
Slowly I get up and walk in. Tears are streaked all over his face.
I quickly rush over to him and engulf him in a had, making sure I don't hurt him.
"I thought you where going to die on me" I sob.
Making jungkook sob just as much.

(Namjoon PoV)
"Why does he only want to see Jin hyung, I want to see him!" Jimin mutters.
"You know how close they are, Jin hyung makes him feel at home whenever he's upset or I'll. Don't stress we will be able to see him soon" I reply messing up his hair.
He nods going back over to j-hope.

(Jungkook PoV)
Jin held my hand as they injected me will all sorts of stuff to help with the pain.
I was ok when I got up. It was hurting to bad and I was answering all of the doctors questions fine.
But then it kinda sunk in.. And normally when something like this happens Jin hyung is always there for me.
No matter what.
I was crying and screaming because of the pain. But I wanted hyung here to hold me. Make me feel like I'm at home again.

"When can I see the others" I ask as my eyes slowly droop.
"I suggest you sleep first and the-" before the doctor could finish I had fallen fast asleep.

(Jin PoV)
I walk out of kookies room and slump in the seat next to Namjoon.
"How is he? Is everything ok" yoongi asks.
I sigh before replying. Who knew he could be such a handful.
"He's fine now.. He was refusing to take any of his medication without me being there. I'm pretty sure he was having a panic attack but I managed to calm him down quite quickly. He really wanted to see you guys but the medication made him fall asleep. They said it won't keep him asleep for long so we can all wait in there till he wakes up"

They all nod and follow me back in the room.
When I fo back in I notice kookie curled to the side of the bed.
It's so cute I can't help but take a photo.

(Jungkook PoV)
When I open my eyes again. I see everyone sitting around me.
Luckily they are all awake.
I didn't notice until now but Jin looks exhausted, so does everyone else.
Jimins normally happy face looks so week.
Taehyung is leaning his head on the side of my bed but looking at the wall for some reason.
Yoongi and j-hope are on the sofa lying on each other.
Namjoon is filling in some paper work.
And Jin is holding my hand while trying to help out Namjoon.

The pain starts to kick in again making me moan slightly.
Everyone looks up at me.
"Kookie!" Taehyung almost shouts coming over to me and giving me a bear hug.
"Ow careful" I say as he knocks my side slightly.
"Omg I'm sorry kookie are you okay where does it hurt" he suddenly scrambles of me while he panics.
I laugh which also hurts to do. "I'm ok hyung it's just a little painful"
Ok so that's a understatement but I don't want to worry anyone. Although Jin knows I'm lying.

1 by one they all hug me. Namjoon fills me in with everything and what will mostlikely happen in the future and jimin starts showing me all the tweets from the fans. A lot of them make me laugh.

After a while of chatting and random hugs. I fall asleep again. But this time with taehyung lying down next to me, stroking me hair. It's so much more comforting than when I'm alone..

Chapter Text

2 months later!

2 months. 2 months since the shooting has happened and I'm still in this stupid hospital, I'm still waiting for the all clear from the doctors so I can leave and actually sleep in my own bed again. To be honest I can't wait until I leave. Who wouldn't? having the members around me again will make me feel so much better no matter how much pain I'm in.

Recently the doctors have put me on different medication which has been making me be sick quite a lot and not able to keep all my food down. But at least I'm not as in much pain as I used to be. I have got a scar on my left side of my stomach as well where they removed the bullet. Luckily it's only about 6cm long so makeup could easily cover it up.

I haven't seen the members in about 3 weeks or spoken to them, they've been promoting in Japan and China (which I was origanally going to go with them) so they have been super busy. There schedules must be crazy, one minuet doing concerts, the next doing interviews. They didn't want to leave me, but the manager made them. I wish I was with them because being stuck in bed 24/7 is annoying af. I'm always fidgeting around because Im not someone who can just stay still and sleep. I have to be doing something all the time. The most I can do is walk to the bathroom and back and even that is hard without collapsing. The doctors just said because the operation I had was major and the bullet went through quite a bit of muscle. But I'm doing a lot better recently.

Anyway, now to do with the person who actually shot me! He was caught last week. They managed to find him hiding behind a shop. Apparently he was pretty high on something too. He was sent to jail and is spending 90 years in there. So practically the rest of his life. When I heard that he was caught relief rushed through my body. I was worried about going out (when I'm able to) incase he was going to find me and maybe hurt me again or the members. But now that he is locked behind bars I can feel a bit better about going to places with my hyungs.

"Jungkook" I heard from the door and I looked up, to see my doctor standing there.
"Ah your awake. I've got some good new! You'll be able to leave in about 2 days" he said walking into the room.
"Thank you doctor!" I said excitedly. Yes! I will actually be able to get out of this place and go back to the dorms.
"I've spoken to your manager, he said the boys will be back late tomorrow but they will be coming round the next day. When you leave you will need to take it easy. No dancing or performances. You can go to interviews but you will be in a wheelchair a lot and you need to make sure you don't stress yourself out because that will cause tension in the stomach and make the healing progress take a lot longer" the doctor says as he gives me a new round of meds. I just nod to everything he says and saying a Thew thank yous as he leaves the room.

2 days later

It's finally the day I manage to get out of here. I'm still waiting for my hyungs to come and pick me up but apparently they shouldn't be much longer.
I took another round of medication about an hour ago and I can already feel the nausea kicking in. The doctor said I have to stay on this medication for at least another week until they can give me a different prescription, which I think is shit. I wish they would do it now. I'm fed up with throwing up at least 3 times a day and not even being able to keep my food down. Let's just hope the members get here soon so I can at least throw up in the comfort of my dorm.

(Jins PoV)

"Do you think fish can drown"
"Are you actually stupid taehyung, of course fish can't drown you idiot" I hear yoongi say to taehyung then a small slap fills the waiting room.
"Oww what was that for" taehyung shouted pouncing on yoongi making them both fall on the floor.
I sigh and get up pulling taehyung of yoongi.

"I know your excited but can you please calm down a little, otherwise you'll get us kicked out the hospital" I say also helping yoongi to his feet. "Sorry hyung I just can't wait to see kookie.. It's been so long" taehyung mumbles slouching in his chair.
I just nod. I know it's been ages since I've seen kookie, since we all have. It's been nearly a month and each day being away from him made me feel even more guiltier. I never wanted to leave him but we can just stop are promotions or having are comeback would of been useless.

We have been in the waiting room for about an hour now still waiting for us to be aloud into his room. I don't know what's taking them so long. Suddenly a doctor opens kookies door and comes up to us.
"Sorry for keeping you waiting for so long, we are almost ready to discharge him but I need to go through terms on his medication" we all nod.
"His medication is very strong. Which has been causing him to throw up a lot and not keep any of his food down. Please keep an eye on him and make sure he is always taking the right amount at the right time" the doctor says
"Obviously you all know that he can't do any dancing or anything that could make him stressed out. He can walk now but he's been so week he can only walk for a Thew seconds before collapsing so he will be in a wheelchair. Just keep him happy and check on him every now and then. He's only got a Thew more days on the medication he's on then we will move him onto another one which will help him build his strength back a bit more"

"Thank you doctor, can we go see him now" Namjoon says.
"Yes he's ok now. He's just been sick so he's not in a good mood, but I'm sure you will cheer him up"
We all slowly go over to the door and go in, me going first.

His skin looks a bit better than the sickly pale colour he was when we left. He still looks awfully sick though.
A bowl in his hand just incase anything was to come up and his head leaning back onto the pillows which his eyes shut. He looks so small I just want to grab him and pull him into a bear hug
"Kookie" I say quietly. His head looks towards me and his eyes open. A smile forming on his face at the sight of me and the others in tow.

"Hyung" he says placing his bowl aside and stretching out his arms. I quickly accept his offer and cuddle up to him. "I missed you so much, don't leave me again" he whispered into my neck. "Don't worry I wo-" are conversation suddenly got cut of by taehyung screaming

"KOOKIE" suddenly I was pushed out the way and taehyung was taking my spot. Making me laugh and everyone else. "Taehyung your hurting me again" jungkook said
"OMG NOT AGAIN IM SO SORRY FORGIVE ME MY LORD" that last line making us all laugh even more. Even jungkook who was wincing every Time he did so.

(Jungkooks PoV)

I am now ready to leave, I'm dressed, got everything packed. Now I'm just waiting for Are manager to finish signing some forms. "Ok we are good to go" manager hyung said. J-hope wheels the wheelchair in front of my bed so it's easier for me to get in. "Do you want me to help" Jin asks. I want to say no, that I can do it by myself. But knowing me I would somehow injure myself even more and be stuck here for even longer.

I nod and Jin slowly helps me to my feet. Hisses leave my mouth as I feel the skin of my stomach stretch slightly. We pause for a second so I can get used to the feeling. "Are you ok for me to sit you down" his thumb gently moving agains my arm. "Yeah keep going"

Eventually I am in the wheelchair and we are heading towards the van.

"So kookie are you looking forward to coming back to the dorm?" Namjoon asks ruffling my hair.
I chuckle "I can't wait to go back, I don't think I would of lasted much longer in that hospital"
"I'm glad your coming back too. It's been way too quiet without you around" he replies and every nods.

Eventually we get to the van and I slowly get into the front.
It didn't take long to get to the dorm. Probably a 20 minute drive at the most. Once I got into the dorm I felt so much better. Just being around my hyungs and being back in the dorm makes me feel at home.

"So jungkookie what do you want to do?" Jin asks.
"Sleep" I reply rubbing my eyes.
"Why don't you shower first? It might make you feel a bit better"
I nod and slowly get out of my wheelchair. It takes a while to walk to the bathroom but never less I get there in the end.
I turn the temperature down slightly, to much heat on my stomach makes it stings for some odd reason I can't explain. Quickly I showered and put on a pair of baggy pjs I already found of mine in here. Someone must of left it for me.

As I leave the bathroom I say goodnight to everyone. A Thew replies saying it's good for me to be back and if I need anything just shout. Jin follows me to the bedroom just incase I need help. He spreads out extra blankets so make sure it's not to hard on my side.

Eventually I manage to get into bed with a bit of help from Jin.
"Goodnight kookie, I'm so happy your home now" Jin says threading his fingers through my hair
I sigh contently at the feeling. "It's good to be back to" I mumble.
I shut my eyes as I slowly fall back to sleep.
Then I start to hear Jin humming 'butterfly' while still running his hands through my hair.

It's good to be home.

Chapter Text

(jungkooks PoV)

I wake up to voices outside of my room.
"Should we wake him up?"
"No leave him to sleep he's only just got back!"
"But i want to see him"
"Tae just leave him to rest ok"
"Fine but I will be back!" I hear footsteps walking away from the door.
I smile. It's good to be back. Really good to be back
I've missed them all so much and beings away from them as long as I had was antagonising.

I chuck my cover of me and slowly sit up. The pain spreading through my stomach again.
Time to take more medication.
I swing my legs over the bed and push myself up.
You wouldn't think the pain is that bad considering its been 2 months. But loads of my tissue and muscle was damaged and it's going to take a long time to get it back to the way it used to be.
I waddle to the door, using my cupboards as supports as I walk.

I open my door to see that everyone has left.
Where could they have gone?

I walk through into the front room, still no one is around.
Maybe they've gone out.
They didn't have practice today did they?
I continue walking around the dorm.
Trying to see if anyone's around.
I guess everyone went out.

The pain in my stomach is getting more Intense now. It's annoying that I now have to keep up with my meds, I'm so used to the nurses just coming round with them every Thew hours.
I manage to get to the kitchen with the last bit of energy in me.
This is where Jin hyung said he put my tablets but I can't find them anywhere.
I pull open one of the top cupboard doors to finally find my tablets... On the top shelf.
I reach up and stand on my tip toes, the stretch in my stomach making a pain shoot through me. I just need to reach a little bit closer!! Suddenly a sharp pain goes through my stomach making me fall down slightly. Now all my weight pushed up against the counter.

I feel tears prick at the edge of my eyes. I can't even reach to get my tablets.. How am I ever going to be back on stage again. I'm so useless at everything. What if I can't dance again? What if I get kicked out of the band? Would the members even care if I did... I am useless now and just a extra worried for everyone. Maybe it would be better if I left.

Tears are now streaming down my face. I slide down the counter and bring my knees in. My arms wrapped wrong them. Pain steering through my body but I don't care anymore.
I probably look so pathetic. Crying on the kitchen floor because I can't even just reach for some tablets.
But it hurts so much, no one is around and I don't know what to do.

That's when I heard the front door open and a pair of footsteps come walking in.
"Kookie where are you?" I hear taehyung shout.
I hear his foot steps getting faster.
"Kookie!"
Before I know it he was at my side wiping away my tears.
"What's wrong, are you ok?" He says frantically, trying to find out what's wrong.
"I-I was trying to G-get my tablets but I Couldn't reach and E-everyone is out and it hurts so bad tae. It hurts so bad" I sob tae now getting up quickly and grabbing my tablets. He takes 2 out and grabs a glass of water.
He pops them into my mouth and helps me drink.

I manage to swollow them first time. I look at taes face, I've never seen him so worried before.
"Are you ok" he asks bringing his hand up to my cheek.
I nod leaning into his touch.
"Why don't we go watch a movie. We can watch whatever you want yeah?" He says smiling. I smile back. He takes that as a yes and helps me to my feet and bring my over the sofa.

Now we are watching iron man 2 with my head resting on his lap.
The meds are starting to kick in now, the pain is going but the nausea is coming back.
"Where is everyone?" I ask looking up at tae.
"Jin went shopping and everyone wanted to go, I was going to as well and was about to get in the van and thought maybe you might want some company" he said.
"Thank you tae tae. I don't know what I would of done If you hadn't of come back"
"I'm glad I came back too. I should never should of even thought about leaving you alone. I'm sorry" he says looking down at me.
"Stop blaming yourself. It's not your fault I ended up like this"
"I wish it was me and not you who had this happen to them. I'm nothing special, you can dance and your singing is amazing. What do I have compared to you. if some-"
I cut tae of buy bringing his head down towards mine and placing are lips together.
I moved them slowly. So far taes not responding.
Just as I was about to pull away tae brought us closer together and deepened the kiss. Swiping his tongue over my bottom lip. Making me part them slightly. His tongue moving in and exploring my mouth. Are tongues colliding together making us both moan slightly.

We both pull back to breath, spit connected to both of our lips.
He smiles and I smile back.
"You have no idea how long I've waited to do that" I say making him smile and peck my lips.
"If I had known you liked me I would of made the first move a long time ago" he said laughing slightly.

------------------

The movie had just finished and a yawn escaped my lips.
"Come on I'll help you get to bed" he said. I nodded and let him help me up and into my room.
I slowly climbed into bed, tae sitting next to me.
"kookie"
"Yeah" I say struggling to open my eyes fully.
"Be my boyfriend" he says fiddling with his fingers.
"I'd love to" I say grinning.
I move my covers over. Offering for him to join me. Which he does.
I move onto my side and tae wraps his arms around me, his face in the crook of my neck.
"Can we stay like this forever" I ask holding onto his hands.
"If that's what you want then I'm more than happy too"

Chapter Text

(Jungkooks PoV)

It is now the next day and we are all sat around the table having breakfast. Every time I look up taehyung is looking at me smiling. All the members are confused at why taehyung has been super energetic all morning. Normally in the morning he mopes around until he's had his coffee. And today he hasn't even had one!

Taehyung looks over at me again and I make a pouty face as I try to act all cute. His cheeks start to turn red and he looks down at his lap.

"Tae are you ok? Your face is looking a bit red" hoseok asks, giving taehyung and strange look.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine hyung" he replies, stuttering slightly in between his words which makes me laugh. But Not enough for anyone to notice.

"So jungkook, we have dance practice today and unfortunately no one can miss it this time. So you can either come with us or stay here and we will send one of us up to check on you later" Namjoon tells me.
Considering what happened yesterday I don't think I want to risk staying by myself anymore, at least not till I'm a bit better anyway.

"I think I'll join you. I'll probably get bored being sat up here alone all day" I say. Taehyung giving me a sympathetic look as he knows my real reasons for not staying alone.
Namjoon nods to my reply then sends everyone off to get ready before practice. Except taehyung stays.

"Do you want me to help you get ready?" He asks.

"I'll be fine, go get ready yourself you've got a busy day" I say as I slowly get up.

"You've got a busy day too don't forget" taehyung walks closer to me. Carefully watching as I get up, looking like he's ready to grab me if I fall.
Technically I do have a busy day as well. I haven't really done anything or gone out properly for over 2 months now. And the thought of leaving the dorm kinda scares me. I would of happily stayed back If the thought of what happened yesterday wasn't in the back of my head, but the thought of leaving the dorms still freaks me out even more, even though I know the guy who did this to me is locked up.

"It's fine, get ready and if I need you I'll shout ok" I walk out the room and head of to get changed. Taes glare burns through the back of my head as I walk out.

Once I'm in my room I grab a white shirt, some blue jeans and a black beanie. I think to myself how much of a struggle this is going to be and how I wished I had just let tae help me. But I need to start learning how to do things myself. I can't always rely on the members for everything I do.

I manage to get one arm out but the other one won't co-operate with me. I sit around struggling to get myself dressed for god knows how long. I wanted to prove I can do things myself but now I've realised I really do need help.

I manage to reach over to my phone and send a message to taehyung
'Get in here I need help' I type then send it.

A tear rolls down my cheek. God I've cried so much recently, I don't know if I'm just an emotional wreck or If these tablets are doing something to me.

I hear a small knock on my door and taehyung steps in, shutting the door behind him.
He's now dressed in light blue denim trousers and a matching jacket. Also a black stop tucked into his trousers and a snap back to top everything all off.

He looks gorgeous.

"Are you ok?" He quietly coming over to me.
I must looks like a wreck right now.

I shake my head and place it on his chest.
His arms wrap round me as I sob into him.
I feel so useless, I can't believe I'm crying all over him just because I can't get changed by myself.

"Shh, it's ok kookie. Let's get you dressed now yeah" he says, carefully helping me slide my top over my head and grabbing my shirt and helping me put that on too.
He buttons my shirt up and grabs the jeans I'm going to be wearing.

"Do you want to sit down so this will be easier" he asks and I nod as I perch myself on the side of my bed.
He helps me take or the shorts I'm wearing even though he must be super embarrassed.
His cheeks have gone a bright shade of red as soon as he catches sight of my boxers.
To be honest it's quite embarrassing for me too.

Quickly he helps me put on my jeans before he could make himself embarrassed anymore.
Then he notices the beanie and slides it on my head. Giving my thore head a kiss just after. Which makes me turn just as red as him.

"how are you feeling" he asks, sitting down next to me and placing his hand on my lower back. Leaving me with a tingling sensation there.

"I'm ok, just tiered" I say.

I haven't done anything to make me feel like this but I feel drained of energy. Like I have just been up all night without getting any sleep.

"Maybe you should stay here and sleep, I might be able to get out of practice"

"No tae it's fine, you can't miss practice because of me" I say

I know he wants to reply with something like 'no seriously it's fine' or 'practice is boring anyway' but I think he knows that I'm right.

"Let's go, the others must be waiting for us" I say getting up and putting on my best smile which seems to reassure him a bit.
I start to walk out the room but taehyung ends up stopping me.

"Wait" he says, getting up as well and spinning me around so I am now facing him.
He hands come down to my waist and are thore heads are now pressed together.

"Kookie... I know your upset, and I know that you must be hurting so much right now. Physically and even mentally. I really want to help you and I know you being 'the golden maknae' and all and not wanting any help. But you and I both know you need help. Maybe nothing major just someone to talk to. You know I'm always here right? And if you need anything and I mean anything, I will always listen. No matter what your concern is or what your worried about cause I'm never going to judge you. I love you kookie so please let me help"

And now I'm emotional again.

"I'm sorry" I whisper.

We both look up and tae gives me a smile. It's the type of smile that suddenly let's all your worries wash away in an instant.
I bring my arms up to his head and pull him in. Are lips press together and start moving in unison.
All of the memories from yesterday come back to me as are tongues clash together.

Tae bites my lip lightly making me moan.
We carry on for a but longer before pulling back for air.

The way tae looked right now was amazing.
His lips slightly swollen and red. His SnapBack was pushed to the side which had messed up his hair making it go in every direction possible.

I fixed his hair and out his hat back into place. Just as I was about to give him a quick kiss a knock on the door startled us making us unwrap are selves from each other.

The door opens revealing jimin standing there with some glasses hanging on the end of his nose.
"We are ready to leave now. We've got your wheelchair ready for you kookie" he says smiling at me making little crinkles at the edges of his eyes.

I nod and he leaves the room.

"Come on let's go before Jin hyung gets mad" tae laughs.
He gives me a quick kiss before leading me out of my room.

Once we are out the room everyone is already waiting at the door. Jins got my wheelchair with him and he looks up at me and smiles.

When it comes to leaving my dorm, for me, it's going to be very awkward.
As soon as we leave are room we have 2 flights of stairs and unfortunately no lift.
I don't remember how I managed to get up into the dorm when I came back from the hospital because I was half asleep. I'm guessing Jin must of carried me up. But this time I'm not half asleep and I've got to face the embarrassment of not being able to get down the stairs.

"Do you want me to help" tae asks
I was about to say no and that I'm sure I can do it myself but then I think back to what he said earlier.
I just nod and tae ends up picking me up bridal style.

All the other members manage to get to the bottom before us for obvious reasons. Cause tae is kinda focusing on not dropping me right now.

Once we are at the bottom he places me in the wheelchair which now Jimin is holding.
Tae has been called over to hoseok to talk about some lyrics or something and he looks at me as if he has permission to leave me with jimin. I nod and he goes over to hoseok. He really needs to not worry so much.

Everyone else is behind me and jimin chatting away as we go down the hallway towards the practice room. Which I only just realised was really long.

"So kookie how have you been, is it good to back" jimin asks ruffling my hair.

"I've been okay. It's great to be back, i missed everyone a lot while you was away" I say

"I missed you as well. It wasn't the same on tour without my dancing buddy"
I laugh slightly. It's really nice to have a conversation with jimin. I haven't really spoken to him that much since I got back and just have a genuine chat without and bring in the fact about my injuries makes me feel a lot better.

We continue chatting on are way to the practice room. Jimin starts telling me about a fan who threw a bra on stage and I started laughing like crazy at that.

Soon enough we are there and jimin wheels me over to the side of the room where all the snacks are cause you know. A growing man needs to eat.

I just watch while the others go through some of are dances. Practically all of the. From Baepsae to Danger loads of them.
Namjoon trips over a Thew times but that's nothing new. He just laughs it off and carries on like nothing happened.

I really wished I could join them but right now I have to get better. The quicker I'm better the quicker it will be to start dancing again. That's what I really wish for right now.

Chapter Text

(Jungkooks PoV)

I am still stuck in dance practice after 2 hours of just watching everyone dance around.
Normally im fine with watching the others dance but knowing that I can't do it myself makes me annoyed and frustrated.

Right now they are going through the choreography for Blood Sweat & Tears one of are most recent songs.
It makes me even more frustrated when I see the empty spot where I should be

I decide to go out and take a walk, I know I won't last long walking but anything is better than sitting around and doing nothing for ages.

When I leave no one seems to notice which is good. I don't want the attention.

I walk down the halls, passing members of staff who all smile at me as I walk past.
I walk past the gym and the singing rooms, some studios and various other rooms I don't think I've ever even been in.

After a while of walking I find a pair of glass double doors leading out into a garden/seating area.
I go through and look around. I had no idea about this place. Maybe it's new?

I walk over to a bench and sit down, I can feel the relief rush through my body.
That's the longest I have walked by myself in a long time. My body didn't agree with all that walking but I'm proud of myself anyway.

My eyes bring in the scenerie of the garden.
Round the edges of the garden there are flowers planted all along.
Some tree places randomly in places and paths leading through all the way around.
Over in one corner there is a little pond with a minnie waterfall and little ornaments placed around it.

This place is really beautiful. Considering its empty and I don't think any of the members know about this place I'll come here more often. It's good to have some space once in a while.

I'm not sure how long I was sat here for, maybe an hour or 2? No one has seemed to notice I'm gone or they just haven't bothered to find me. But in a way I'm greatfull because I'd rather just be alone right now.

Since I got back everyone has been worrying a lot. Not being around them right now is probably the best for me and also the members because since I've got back all they have done is worry and they need to worry about me and everything else as well.

I check my phone to see if I've got any messages but I seem to have nothing. Maybe they are enjoying the time without me.
I decide to get up once I start to feel my tablets wear of. Must be time to take some more.
I stand up and instantly regret it. My whole body starts aching, not as bad as yesterday but still painful enough.

Suddenly my phone starts ringing. I quickly answer it.

"Hello?" I say

"Kookie where are you, every time we message you it won't send. My calls wouldn't connect either until now" I hear tae frantically speak down the phone.

"I went for a walk but I can't get back, it hurts tae" I say trying to keep calm. Maybe going for a long walk was not a good idea.

"It's going to be fine I'm going to come find you now ok, can you tell me where you are" I hear tae ask. I also here the members asking him if I'm ok and he relies with 'I don't know yet'

"I'm in a garden area thing, keep walking past the gym and all the way to the end" I tell him

"Ok I'm on my-" the phone cuts off.

I sign and place my phone back in my pocket.
It doesn't take tae long to find me. Maybe 5-10 minuets.

He comes through the door with my wheelchair and yoongi in tow.

"You ok, kid?" Yoongi asks crouching in front of me and placing his hand on my shoulder. I nod and shakily breath out.
I look up at tae to see his worried eyes looking back at me. I gave him a small smile and he smiled back.

"Let's get you back yeah?" Yoongi says holding his hands out for me to grab.
He pulls me up and I hiss slightly at the pain but luckily it's not that bad this time.

I get into the wheelchair with help from yoongi and tae and I'm now being wheeled back by yoongi, tae is standing next to me, every now and then giving me a look as if to say 'are you really ok'
I don't look back.

I will talk to him later.

Once we get into the practice room I am met with the wrath of Jin and Namjoon.

"Excuse me young man who said you could go walking of by yourself with the condition your in" Jin said looking at me with angry eyes.
Namjoon just side hugging him telling him to calm down.

Then Jin realises I'm in pain and freaks out. He goes searching for my tablets.

He doesn't find them

"I swear I packed them" he says running a hand through his hair.

"Hyung it's ok I'll talk them when we get back" I say trying to get into a comfortable position in my chair.

Jin just shakes his head and goes off to find someone to go get them from the dorm.
This is what I meant when they worry too much. I wish I was back in the garden.

In the end hoseok gets sent to fetch my tablets from the dorm because he has just finished practicing for his solo dance.
Everyone goes back to practicing, even though I get worried stares from Jin every now and then.

I end up plugging my headphones into my phone, putting on some music and closing my eyes for a bit.
I try to fall asleep for a bit but the chair is too uncomfortable to sleep in.
carefully I get out my chair and sit down in the sofa next to me.
I lay down and close my eyes once again, praying for some sleep so the pain will go away for a bit.

(Jins PoV)

After jungkook had come back with the help of yoongi and tae. We got sent back to practicing.
We went though about 3 more songs and then we finished which was a relief for all of us.
Hoseok came back just as we finished with a small box in one hand which looked to be kookies tablets.

I thanked him quickly and turned around to go over to him.
I look over to his chair to see it empty, but then realise the small lump laying on the sofa.

I perch on the end of the sofa carefully so I didint wake him up.

This reminds me of when we first debuted.
He used to work so hard and longer than anybody else. He would always tier himself out and up falling asleep in are practice room.

He was so small then and now he's a young man.

Dancing was one of his passions. He was happiest the most dancing, and now that he can't dance right now must be a pain for him. I saw while we was dancing the he would watch. It made my heart ache.

"Hyung"

I look up to see tae standing there, his eyes looking from me to kookie.

"Is he ok, he looked like he was in a lot of pain on the way back" he asked. Just seeing how worried tae looked makes my heart ache even more.

"Yeah he's ok, We are going to head back now. Can you get kookie up while I grab his things?" I ask tae and he nods. I pass him the tablets and Some water before I go over to pack things away.

(Taehyungs PoV)

I look back down at kookie.
Even though I know he is asleep his fac seems to be scrunched up slightly.
I better wake him up and give him his tablets.

"Baby... You need to get up" I say to him quietly so no one else can here.
I here him groan slightly as he starts to wake up.

"Come on, we are leaving now and I need to give you your tablets" I say, giving him a quick peck in the cheek.
He rolls over onto his back and gives me a small smile.
His arms reach out for me and I help him up into a sitting position.

I pass him 2 tablets and some water and he quickly swallows the tablets.
My arm finds my way to his back and slowly trace patterns there.
Jungkooks head falls back slightly. He seems to be really tiered while he's been taking those tablets.

"Bed" he mumbles. His head falling down onto my shoulder.
"I know baby we are taking you back to the dorms now" I whisper to him as I rub at his back.

"You ready to go?" Jin asks me as he returns with jungkooks wheelchair.
I nod and help jungkook into the chair. As we wheel him out the room the members all give him a worried look. I guess today has just been a tiring day for him.

I think the thing that is worrying us is that it's not even that late. It's 3pm and jungkook has never been like this. Maybe once when we first debuted but not since then.

I think we should take him to the doctor about this because it seems to be affecting his health. He hardly ate anything at breakfast and I haven't seen him eat since then. Are these tablets been making him to nauseous to eat? I know the doctor did tell us he will probably be like that but he's starting to get like how he was when he first ended up in hospital.

it doesn't too long to get back to the dorm.
Getting him up the stairs was difficult but I managed.

I dress him into some comfortable clothing and put him into bed.

Once I walk out of his room all the members are there.

"Is he ok?" Jimin asks.
I sigh and rub my face.
"I honestly don't know. Those tablets must be making him feel too ill right? Has anyone noticed he hardly ate anything at breakfast and he hasn't eaten since then?" I say

"I noticed as well, but he didn't seem ill this morning" Jin said
"Do you want me to call a doctor? Maybe we can get his pills changed?" Namjoon said.
Jin nodded, Namjoon walked off typing a number into his phone.

"Im really worried hyung, it's been over 2 months and he's still in so much pain" I said feeling my eyes water.
"Hey, don't cry tae tae. It's going to be ok, he has been through a lot and the recovery process is very long" Jin said bringing me into a hug.

The others just stood there not knowing what to do
Hoseok was hugging jimin and yoongi just looked down at the ground.

"If I ever meet the guy who did this I swear to god I'm going to kill him" yoongi shouted.
"Yoongi calm down, jungkook is sleeping" jimin whimpered as he continued crying into hoseok.

Me and Jin was still hugging. It was comforting.
I hate seeing my boyfriend like the way he is.

"The doctor said he will be here in 10 minuets. The manager is on his way too" Namjoon said as he walked in the room.

"I'm going to stay in with kookie till he gets here" I said as I unwrapped myself from Jin.

When I get in the room I crouch down next to his bed. One of my hands intertwining with his and the other fiddling with his hair.

"Tae" jungkook mumbles.

"I'm here baby" I say.

"I'm sorry" he says whimpering slightly

"What are you saying sorry for"

"I made everyone worry" he sobs.

"Shh, it's ok. We just want you better again" I said.

I push his fringe and feel his thore head. I instantly move my hand away with how hot it is.
"The doctor is on his way to see you" I said

"No, no no no tae why" he groans

"Your getting worse. We just need to check how things are going" I reply.

Suddenly the door opens and Jin and a tall looking man walks into the room.

"The doctor is here" Jin says

(Jungkooks PoV)

Everything is fuzzy right now.
Tae, Jin and the doctor are all around me and I feel like I'm closed in. I haven't got enough space in this small room to breath.
Well that's what I felt like on the inside.

"Hi jungkook, I'm doctor yeol and I'm going to just give you a check up ok. Do you mind taking your top of for me" he asks. I look over at tae and he instantly comes over and helps me.
Before moving back again he squeezes my hand reassuring me it'll be fine.

They have to take my covers away and now it's extremely cold.
"Have you been exercising?" He asks. Giving me a look like 'you better not have'
I try to reply but my mouth has gone dry.

"He went for a walk earlier. He was gone quite a while" Jin answers for me. Thank god he's here.
"It seems he has managed to pull some of his stitches out and that his wound has got infected pretty badly. That would explain the unusually high temperature. We are going to have to take you back into the hospital to clean it up ok" the doctor says.

Tears roll down my cheeks for what feels like the millionth time today.
"Please don't take me back. I don't want to go back" I sob. Taes hand now back in mine and Jin sitting on the end of my bed.

"I'm sorry mr jeon but we have no choice or your going to get worse" the doctor replies.

Suddenly the manager hyung comes in and tells us a proper ambulance is here to take us.
All the way into the ambulance I cry. And taehyung never leaves my side. Not even once.

All the members except taehyung and Jin go in the managers car and will meet us there.
After just being away from the hospital for 3 days I return.

Chapter Text

(Taehyungs PoV)

Jungkook has been in the surgery room for about an hour now. They have had to undo all his stitches and clean the wound because of how infected it had got. I should of know he would of done something like this sooner or later. He has never known how to keep still

At the moment I am by myself in the waiting room. Namjoon got called of to a meeting with the manager to talk about upcoming promotions. And Jin got hungry so everyone else went with him. I was offered to go but I'm not hungry. I know it's nothing to worry about but I can't help but think something is going to happen to him.

What if something does happen to him? What if they suddenly find out he has something serious wrong with him. What will I do! What if he dies! Oh god I can't live without him. Having to go t-

"Tae, where's the others?" I get interrupted by Namjoon returning from his meeting.

"They went to eat" I say looking down at the floor.

"I know your worrying about jungkook. He will be fine I promise, they are just cleaning his wound that's all. He'll be back to normal before we know it" I look up at Namjoon and give him a smile.

"How did the meeting go?" I ask.

Namjoon sighs and runs a hand through his hair.

"He has arranged for us to do a concert, not too far away about 2-3 hour drive from here and it's only for one day. It's not till next week so we have a while to prepare. But they want jungkook to join us. Obviously no dancing or anything but it will be arranged so he can take part in most of the stuff we do on stage" he says.

"What! Have they need realised what state he is in. He came out of hospital for 3 days and got sent back. And that was all because he went for a walk. How is it going to be if he goes on stage. He will want to move around I know he will" I say way too fast.

I can't believe the manager has been arranging this while he's in a surgery room! They couldn't wait until maybe a week or 2 since he's been in the clear! And what if he doesn't want to go on stage after what happened.

"Tae please calm down" he says sitting down next to me "I've asked if we can move it back one more week but they said they can't promise anything"

I just nod in reply. He doesn't show it but I know he is scared of going back on stage. Especially the first time since it has happened. Just going out in public would probably freak him out. Even though he knows the guy who did this to him is locked up.

"Excuse me, are you here for jeon jungkook" me and Namjoon both look up to see a doctor standing there.
I quickly rise to my feet "how is he, did it go well" I ask. My heart beating faster.

"The infection he got we quite bad. But the surgery went well and we have changed his tablets to ones he only has to take once a day. That should be easier for you to manage" he says smiling at us. I sigh in relief.

"Thank you doctor, can we go see him?" Namjoon asks and the doctor leads us to jungkooks room.
We both thank him again before walking in the room. The all too familiar mask on his face to help him breath is back. And tubes coming from his body. Thankfully nowhere near as many as last time.

I slip into the chair next to his bed and hold his hand in mine. Namjoon goes of to find the others after making sure he was ok.

"Oh kookie" I say moving his fringe out of his face.
"Please wake up soon, I miss you baby"

Suddenly I start to feel my eyes drooping. I lay my head down on his bed. Are hands still together.
It doesn't take long until I fall into a peaceful sleep.

(Jimins PoV)

"Jiminie what do you want to eat?" Jin asks me.
I search through the menu trying to find something that interests me.
Nothing does.

I end up picking a tuna sandwich.
The others order then Jin goes to get are food.
"Do you think jungkooks going to be ok" hoseok asks fiddling with his fingers.
I put my hand on his. He instantly stops fiddling.

"He'll be fine. Remember he's strong, he's are golden maknae" I say chuckling slightly.
"Everything seems to be going wrong with him recently. I wish there was more I could do" yoongi says.

I nod and give him a small smile. Are poor jungkookie has been through a lot in the past Thew months.
If I was him I probably wouldn't be as strong as he has been.
I know he has been getting upset a lot recently. I heard him crying this morning in his room when taehyung went in there.
But he seems to always look on the bright side of things. Even if he feels like he can't take anything anymore.

Jin comes back and passes us all are food.
I wish I had ordered something bigger now. I didn't realise how hungry I was.

"Guys" we hear behind us. We turn around to see Namjoon coming towards us.

"Hey Namjoonie what's up?" Jin asks.

"Jungkooks out of surgery now, he's not awake but he's seems ok" he says making us all smile happily.

"How did the surgery go? Did everything go ok" hoseok asks putting his food down.

Namjoon nods "surgery went well. Apparently the infection is pretty bad but they have changed his tablets so they should help"

"That's great" Jin says

"I'm going to head back to his room" I say getting up. Everyone else does too. Everyone forgetting about are food as we head down.

When we walk in I see the most cutest. Taehyung practically hugging jungkooks arm while asleep. Jungkook seems so have curled into taehyung somehow. Even though he isn't even lying on the bed with him.

Once we have all piled in the room I head something. I look over to jungkook to see him moving slightly.
"Jungkook" I say. Everyone has his eyes on him now. Except taehyung.

"Jimin?" He says. His voice hoarse. His eyes open slightly and he looks over at me.

"Hey kookie" I say playing with his hair.

"What happened" he asks while trying to sit up. Yoongi quickly comes round and helps up when he sees him struggle. I move his pillows over so he's more comfortable and carefully untangle tae from his arm.

Thankfully I didn't wake him up.

"You managed to open up your stitches when you went for that walk and it got infected, they had to clean everything and stitch you back up" I say.
He lifts up his top to see a row of partially bloody stitches on his stomach.

"Nice" he says grimacing at them.

"How long has he been there for" he asks. Direction his attention now to tae

"A while, he didn't want to leave your side. They had to practically drag him away when they took you into the surgery room" Namjoon replies. Jungkook looks down and smiles at him.

"That's cute" he says

(Jungkooks PoV)

Everyone had now left. The manager had to speak to them. It's now just me and taehyung.
"Tae tae" I say shaking him slightly which Making him stir.

"Kookie five more minuets" he mumbles reaching over to hug my arm again.
He was about to fall back asleep when his head shoots up.
"Kookie your awake!" He says. Instantly jumping up and bringing me in a hug.

"Hyung I c-can't breath" I say as his hug gets tighter.
"Oh my god, why do I keep doing things like this" he chuckles.

"How long have you been awake?" Tae asks joining are hands together

"Maybe about half hour. You look really cute when you sleep, I didn't want to wake you up" I say
Taehyung blushes

"I'm so glad your okay" he whispers.

I smile at him and move over. Patting the space next to me. He climbs in next to me and I pull the covers over us both. Tae hugs me from behind.

"I love you"

"I love you too"

Chapter Text

(Jungkooks PoV)
It was now day 5 of being sent back to the hospital. And I am bored out of my mind.
I mean who wouldn't be? Especially when I'm stuck in a hospital bed while my hyungs are busy doing rehearsals and dance practice. I would defiantly rather be with them doing that than sat around staring at the tv all day At the moment I was watching the hyungs live performance on tv. To be honest they where doing great. Probably even better than when I'm with them. Jimin manages to cover my parts perfectly. It was like I was never meant to be there. When I think about these things it makes me upset. Knowing that if I wasn't a part of the group they could most likely do much better. If I left nothing would change. Right now it's 7pm. Apparently I'm getting dismissed from the hospital today but it's getting later and later. Maybe they did forget about me. The doctor said I was meant to go home at 5 but apparently tae and the manager came into my room to find me asleep so they said they'd come back later for me.

I wish they had just woken me up. Or carried me back. Then at least I could of woken up in my bed.

Now I'm just waiting for them to return so I can get out of this hell hole and get into my bed at the dorms.

I was playing a game in my phone when Suddenly I hear a knock at my door and tae walks in. A massive smile on his face.
"Hey kookie" he says coming over to me and giving me a kiss.

"You ready to go?" He asks and I nod. Finally i get to leave this hell hole.

Tae helps me put on my jacket and shoes and we leave my hospital room. The manager is outside talking to the doctor.
I've already spoken to the doctor about what they are talking about.
Check ups once a week. My medication blah blah blah. I honestly don't care. Right now I just want to leave.
I think the manager gets the hint by the look on my face and he takes me and tae to the car.
This time I don't use a wheelchair, I should be using one but I refused. I can do this by myself.

The journey doesn't take long and me and tae arrive back at the dorm in 15 minuets. Probably a record time.
When I walk in everything seems to be quiet.
"Everyone is at a rehearsal. I managed to get away for today. So we have this place to ourselves all night" he says hugging me from behind.

Tae pulls me around to face him.
"So baby, what do you want to do tonight" he asks.
The pet name making me blush.

I put my arm round the back of his neck and pull his head down until are lips are pressed together. God have I missed this. Tae parts his lips immediately. Giving me the chance to slip my Tongue into his mouth. We kiss deeply, if I had the chance I would seriously kiss him all day. But its a miracle these days when I get a chance to be with him alone.

Taehyung hands lift up, one gripping into my hair and the other on my shoulder for balance as the kiss intensifies. Are tongues move smoothly together as he drags me into my bedroom. He pushes me down onto the bed and he manovers himself on top of me. His hands on either side of my head so he doesn't end up hurting me.

I moan as I feel the outline of taes croch rub agains my own through our jeans. I put my hands on his hips and push us further together. My head falls backs against my pillow as I feel his crotch grinds into mine. "Taehyung" I sigh. The pleasure rippling through my body.

Once again are mouths are brought together, I enjoy the way are tongues dart together playfully.
"I want to taste you" tae mumbles against my lips. His lips move down my jaw. A shiver runs through my body as I move my head back more.

"Can I suck you off" tae asks. As his head moves back up to hover over mine.
"Fuck. Yes" I mutter rapidly.

Tae fumbles with my zipper on my jeans. He takes a while before finally getting it open and pulling my jeans down along with my boxers. He slides them off throwing them somewhere in the room. My cock springing up against my stomach.
"Your so hard for me baby" he says giving the top a kiss. I hiss in pleasure

Taehyung wraps a hand around the bass of my cock, which is fully erect from the heated kiss which happened just seconds ago.
"Your cock looks so good kookie, it would probably look better with my mouth wrapped around it while I suck you off. Do you agree?" He says. I can feel his breath against my dick, making it twitch with anticipation.

I just moan in reply. Not being able to find the words.
Finally he moves forward, letting his tongue touch the tip, running it lightly around the head before dragging his tongue down to the base.

It feels nice
Really nice in fact
But taehyung knows it's not enough

Taehyung looks up at me and winks. Before wrapping his lips around the tip and sliding all the way down to the base.

"Fuck" I gasp out. The sensation overwhelming.

Taehyung groans around my cock which makes me feel lightheaded, he head continues bobbing up and down. Every now and then my cock hitting the base of his throat as he swallows around it. I arch of the bed, bringing my hand up to grip in his hair.

I tug lightly making him moan again, sending more vibrations down my cock.
He pulls away for a moment. Licking the thin spread of pre come of his lips and swallowing.
Suddenly he comes back to my cock. His mouth slowly sliding down right down to the base, my cock hitting the back of his throat.

It feels like my brain has stopped working. A deep groan spills out of my mouth. My head tips back onto the pillow. Over taken by the pleasure I'm feeling.

I start to feel a familiar sensation in my stomach.
"Tae I'm going to cum" I groan warning him. But he keeps going.
A shock of pleasure rips through my and my hot liquids hits the back of taes throat.
He swallows it all before pulling of with a pop.

We both gasp for air.
I prop myself up and look at tae.

His hair is messed up and his lips look swollen.
Then I notice the bulge in taes pants. I compleated forgot about helping out.

"Tae tae let me help you out" I say grabbing his wrist and pulling him closer.
Tae gets the idea and strips of his pants and boxers in one go. Someone's a bit exited.

I look down at tae cock. Wow he's bigger than I'd expected.
Tae helps me up so we are kneeling facing each other.

I move my hand down to his crotch and give his a Thew quick strokes.
"Fuck my hand tae tae. Fuck it like you mean it" I say, making him moan slightly.

I use the pre come at the tip of his dick to lube up my hand.
He starts to move his hips slowly into my hand, his head falling back.

I move my lips up to his neck and suck lightly.
I move back from his neck a smile happily at my work.

Patches of taes neck are now red and purple. Just how I wanted it.

His thrusts start to get faster as I crash are lips together. I move my hand back up to his hair and tug lightly.
Another moan escapes his lips.

i mentally note down Tae likes his hair being pulled.

I bite down on his bottom lip and then move back to his neck. Soothing the marks with my tongue.

"Come for me baby, I know you want too" I say nibbling his ear lobe.
And with that he comes over my hand and the bed sheets.

He head falling into the crook of my neck.

We stay like this for a while. Just listening to each other breathing.

"Come on, let's get cleaned up" Tae says getting up and helping me up as well.
We quickly put on a pair of boxers just in case one of the members return.
He strips the sheets of my bed and puts them in the wash. Then putting clean covers on.

"Let's go shower" he says grabbing my hand and leading me to the bathroom.
We both strip with what clothes we have left on and get into the shower.

Once in the shower I find tae has turned around from washing his hair and he smiles at me. His smile fades suddenly as he catches sight of my stomach. I move my arms so they are covering the scars but tae just pulls them back.

"Baby, you are beautiful ok. You don't need to hide anything" he whispers to me. He gives my thore head a kiss making my cheeks flare up.

He motions for me to turn around and I do.
He starts masarging shampoo into my hair, I groan happily and let him carry on until we are both finished.

We dry off and get changed into are pjs.
I was going to go to bed but tae end up dragging me away And we end up watching movies and eating ice cream until the members arrive back from rehearsal.

"Kookie your home" Jin says walking over to me and tae.
Currently my head is in his lap and my eyes are drooping every now and then.

"How was the journey back" he asked.

"It was ok" I say, yawning and rubbing my eyes.

All the other members enter the room and we start chatting away.
My eyes still keep drooping. Tae notices and shakes me slightly.

"Bed?" He asks and I nod.

"I'm going to take kookie to bed now, I think he's quite tiered" Tae says helping me up.

"Sleep well jungkookie. See you in the morning" hoseok says. All the others near enough saying something along those lines.

Tae helps me into bed and tucks me in like my mum would do if I was five. But funnily enough it was comforting.

"Goodnight baby, sweet dreams" he says giving my nose a peck. Before he could get up I grab his wrist.

"Stay.. Please?" I say quietly.
He smiles and nods. I scoot over and tae climbs in, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I love you kookie" he says snuggling into me more.

"I love you too tae tae" I say, drifting off into a peace full sleep.

Chapter Text

2 WEEKS LATER

(Jungkooks PoV)

"Ok we need to talk about your schedules" manager hyung said. We are currently in his office. All of us sitting around the table patiently.

"Ok, so we have decided your going to have a concert in 2 days. That means you have today and tomorrow to get all of your dances to perfection. The concert is only for one day. But depending on how well it goes we may add a Thew more days to it. the venue is a Thew hours away from here so we will be leaving late tomorrow to make sure we are there in time. Now.. Jungkook" he says looking over at me

"We want you to join in with this concert. The doctor has given you the all clear on practicing but you still need to be careful. You'll only join in with a Thew dances and you'll join in with all the singing and talking. Is this ok?" He asks.

I look around at the members and they all give me reassuring smiles.

"I.. Umm yeah that's fine" I say.

"That's great. Ok guys go get to work. We will meet again tomorrow. Make sure you have everything packed tonight so there is not rush in leaving" he gets up and leaves the room.

I sigh and run a hand through my hair.

"You okay kookie" I hear Namjoon say.

I nod "yeah it's just.. So close you know"

"I know. We were meant to have it the week you got out the hospital but I managed to move it back so you could rest a bit more"

I give him a smile to say thank you and then get up. Everyone else walking out the room towards the practice rooms. I lag behind slightly with taehyung.

"How you feeling?" He asks, his hand lacing with mine.

"I'm ok.. Just a bit shocked" I reply, tightening the grip slightly.

"Yeah, I think we all are to be honest. But it will be fine don't worry"

We arrive at the practice room and sit down on the sofa while we wait for the music to start up.
I can feel hear my heart racing in my chest. I've always loved dancing, I never thought I would be so worried about practicing again.

suddenly the music starts up and hoseok motions me over to him. Tae squeezes my hand before we go off to are corners.
Everyone already knows the choreography for 'not today' leaving me with hoseok as my dance teacher till I have all the moves right.

I do know some of the moves but I was injured when I was about half way through learning the dance. In the corner of my eye I can see tae and Jimin dancing On the other side of the room. They're moves flawless and smooth. I wonder if I will be able to dance like that again.

"Ok are you ready kookie" he says giving me a smile. I nod my head.

Hoseok is a great dance teacher. He's quite stubborn when you get things wrong. And I knew I was doing a lot of the moves wrong or not putting enough power into it, but I think he was letting me off this time. You can see the worried glare in his eyes every time he asks me to go through it myself as he watches.

I'm suprised Jin hasn't come over to watch me dance yet. Him and hoseok seem to be on the same level of worrying about me these days.

For not today I am in the centre for most of the chorus except for right at the end. As far as I know I'm still going to be in the centre for those parts. And still be doing my small solo part near the beginning. No one has told me other wise.

Once I have nailed the first part we take a break. My body doubling over so my hands are on my knees.
"Well done, you did really well" hoseok says rubbing my back and bending over slightly so his head is at my level.

I stand up straight, wincing at the small sting in my stomach as I do so.
"You ok?" He asks. Passing me a towel.

I wipe the sweat of my face and my neck "yeah I'm good, just gunna go sit down for a bit" I say. Before I walk off he passes me a drink and I thank him.

As soon as I sit down Jin is at my side.
"How you feeling kookie" he says rubbing my back.

"I'm fine" I say taking a Thew gulps of my water.

"Are you in any pain" he asks

"Not really, it stings a bit but I'm ok to carry on"

He gives me a worried look but I just give him a reassuring smile which seems to make him relax a bit.

Me and Jin sit there a chat for a while as we watch the others go through the routine and other dances together. It honestly feels so weird being back dancing again. It's been months of being stuck in the hospital and the dorm that I forgot how much time and effort it takes up. But I'm glad that I'm back again, I've missed it a lot.

Eventually break ends and I leave Jin to carry on learning the dance with hoseok. This time Namjoon joining us as only just 5 minuets ago he ended up falling in yoongi. Let's just say he wasn't very happy suddenly having Namjoon squishing him into the hard floor.

It doesn't take long until we have finished learning the dance

"Well done you both did great" hoseok said "you did better than I thought you would"

"What is that meant to mean hyung" I laugh frowning my towel at Hoseoks face.

He throws the towel back back at me and laughs "you know what I mean"

Hoseok and Namjoon go over to the others telling them that we have finished and it's time to dance all together now. I follow behind them, wincing slightly at the pain in my stomach. I've done a lot of excercising so I should of expected this to happen at some point.

Tae looks at me as I walk over. His eyes travelling to the land I have placed on my stomach. He gets up and walks over to me.

"Are you ok? I can tell the guys if you need a break" he says holding my hands in his.

"No I'm fine, we only have an hour left anyway" I say

He hums in reply and whispers an 'I love you' before dragging me to the others. I feel my cheeks go red.

We all get into are positions and start dancing.
I remember as best as I can what hoseok has taught me. And luckily so far I haven't done anything wrong.

Every time I bring my arms up to high the sting in my stomach comes back.
Once it's nearer the middle of the song we all stand near the back behind the row of people in front of us. Namjoon rapping along to his part.

I lean forward a bit to catch my breath. I can feel Jins glare through the back of my head.

After his part is finished we carry on with the routine. It feels like it went in for hours. But it finished only within a matter of minuets.

We finish in are final poses until the music has turned off, confirming that are practice is over.

You can hear everyone's heavy breathing echoing of the walls. I sit myself down on the floor, still gasping for air. The pain in my stomach turning into a small ache once I stop moving.

I hear a sound behind me and a pair of arms wrap round my waist.

"We can go back to the dorms now" I hear tae say, dropping his head onto my shoulder. He moves his legs around me and pulls me back against his chest.

"I could really use some cuddles right now" he sighs.

"Me too, I need a shower first though" I say

"Maybe I'll come and join you" he whispers in my ear. His breath tickling against my face which sends a shiver down my spine.

"Guys we are leaving now" I hear Jimin say. "Ok coming" Tae calls back, helping me up and leading me out the room where the others are waiting.

Once we are at the dorms everyone goes of to do there own thing. We make sure everyone takes a shower first before sliding into the bathroom without anyone noticing.

We take off out clothes and step into the shower. The cool water soothing are skin, making tae sigh out in relief. his arms coming up to circle round my neck, pulling me closer to him. Are thore falling together. A smile forming on his lips makes me do the same.

"I really do love you, you know that?" He says pushing my carefully into the shower wall behind us. I bring my hand up behind his head and pull him in, my chest fluttering as soon as are lips press together. It wasn't a needy kiss, it was slow and meaningful.

Are lips move together slowly, every now and then are tongues glide together making me groan. My teeth graze his bottom lip making his head fall back, giving me the chance to have access to his neck. I suck on the skin, turning his neck red, purple, blue. It was like my own piece of art.

I move my tongue over my creation making tae shudder slightly. Once I'm done i pull back, I look proudly at all the marks up his neck, he looks so beautiful like this.

"The others are going to see" he says, bringing are heads back together.

"Honestly I don't care, it's about time we tell them anyway" I say pecking his lips.

"Let's tell them later, but for not let's car-" a sudden banging on the door cuts taehyung off making us both freeze, I turn the shower off quickly.

"Jungkook? Are you ok in there" I hear yoongi say through the door.

"Yeah I'm fine hyung" I say back

"Dinner is just starting, can you get taehyung back on the way to your room"

"Okay" I say. The sounds of his footsteps leaving the room makes us both sign in relief.

"looks like we'll have to wait a bit longer" Tae says, pecking my lips and getting out the shower. I roll my eyes and follow him, tae quickly dries his hair so it doesn't look too suspicious and pulls on a hoodie to cover the marks in his neck. we quickly head out the bathroom to where everyone was eating dinner.

We both sit down at the table, me next to Namjoon and tae opersite me and sitting next to Jin. I pick up my chopsticks and move my food around my plate, my damp hair falling in front of my eyes.

"Jungkook, you haven't eaten anything" Jin says.

"I'm not hungry" at least I want lying. My appetite has just suddenly vanished and the tingling sensation in my stomach has come back.

"You need to eat something, you haven't eaten anything since this morning" Tae says, now looking at me with worried eyes. I shake my head and out my chopsticks down. Jin and Namjoon eye each other across the table. I don't know what's wrong with me. I felt ok earlier, but once I got out of the shower I started feeling nauseous. The thought of eating food just made it worse.

Everyone continues eating, the feeling in my stomach fades a bit. I pick my chopsticks back up and put a spoonful of rice in my mouth, making Jin smile at me from across the table.

Suddenly tae clears his throat making everyone look up at him. "I have an announcement to make" he says

Before he even speaks I know what he is going to say.

"I wanted to let you all know that I am in a relationship" he says smiling, his eyes looking over at me every now and then.

"Congrats tae" hoseok says, clapping his hands a bit too eagerly.

"So who are they then, do we know them?" Jin ask.

"Oh you defiantly know them" he says.

"You need to introduce us" Jimin says. "I can introduce you now if you want" he says, Jimin and everyone else looks very confused.

"Everyone I would like you to meet my boyfriend, jeon jungkook" tae starts doing jazz hands towards me. I just laugh and put my head in my hands.

"I fucking called it, Namjoon pay up" Jin says, his hand extending towards him.

I lift my head up from my hands. "You where betting on us!" I say

"Yup and I won, so hurry up and give me my well earned money" Namjoon sighs and places the money in his hand. Jin counting it before giving him a smile and sticking it in his pocket.

"Anyway, let's carry on with dinner shall we?"

Chapter Text

It is the day before the concert and we are all currently putting are bags into the back of the car. We are only gone for 3 days as we have are concert tomorrow, a interview the day after and we leave later the following day.

Honestly I am not excited about the road trip there. I get pretty bad car sickness and many times I have actually thrown up during a Thew road trips. Especially when we did all that driving in America a Thew years back.

We are driving there in a Mini bus. 3 seats in the back, 3 in the middle. 3 seats in front of that and the 2 seats for the driver and front passenger. Me and tae are sitting in the seats behind the driver. Jimin, hoseok and yoongi are in the back and Namjoon and Jin in the seats behind me. Jin claiming he needs the extra seat to stretch out for his Beauty sleep.

The journey is only about 3 hours long. Thankfully not the longest trip I've been on before.

"ok everyone in the car" I hear are manager say. We quickly all jump in the car and strap are selves in.

"Has everyone got everything because once we leave we ain't coming back" Jin says as he checks that we all have a seat belts on.

"Yes mother" taehyung laughs. Jin just patting him on the head from behind us.

"Okay, let's go" are manager says, starting the car and driving out of are dorm parking lot.

I knew this journey isn't going to end well for me, every trip I have had that is longer than an hour I have ended up puking on myself or forcing are driver to pull over because I would rather not let everyone watch me as I puke.

The manager had said we are having no stops along the way unless we have too, which most likely will end up happening.

(Time skip)

We have now been driving for 2 hours, and unfortunately because of bad traffic we now have over an hour left to go until we get there. An hour into the drive I started feeling light headed and my stomach was churning. But luckily because of the traffic the car had stopped moving and I could roll down my window to get fresh air. And now that We are out of that traffic we moving again those feelings have come and hit me full force.

My head is leaning back into my chair and my hands are gripping the arms or the chair making my knuckles turn white. Every now and then bile starts to rise in my throat.

"Kookie"

I look over to tae, his arm moving so he can place his hand on mine.

"Do you want me to get them to pull over" he says, I nod slightly in reply. Making sure I don't move my head to much.

Tae speaks to the driver and manager, thankfully they both agree and pull over quickly. As soon as the car stops moving me seatbelt is gone and I slide the door open, not having enough time to get out the car before puking just outside the door. Luckily it went on the pavement and none of it went on the car itself.

I hear a seatbelt unlock and a hand coming up towards my face, moving my fringe out of my eyes and the other hand on my shoulder.

I start coughing and then heaving making the pain unbearable in my throat and stomach. Tears start to fall down my cheeks.

"Shh baby calm down, it's ok just let it out" Tae says. His thumb now stroking circles into my shoulder.

Another wave comes at me again, making me lean forward even more. Another hand coming up to the back of my neck.

"Have a drink" Jin says from the side of my, he's holding out a bottle of water. I take it from him and quickly take a Thew gulps. The water easing the pain in my throat from all the heaving. I pass it back to him.

Once the heaving and throwing up has stopped I get out the car, making sure I avoid the puddle on the floor. Tae quickly doing the same.

"You okay" Tae says bringing me into a hug.

I place my head into the crook of his neck.

"Let's stay out here for a bit yeah? We aren't in any rush" he says, rubbing small circles into my back.

"Ok" I mumbles into his neck, bringing Tae just a bit closer to me.

The thought of having to get back into the car for another hour is not what I want to be thinking right now.

I don't know if I could stand being in that stuffy car much longer

As we stay outside for a bit everyone gets out and joins us, stretching there legs.

"You ok?"

I move my face away from Tae to see yoongi standing there.

"Yeah I'm ok now" I said giving him a small smile. He gives me one in return and heads back to the car.

We don't stay outside much longer before we all clamber back into the car. I sigh as the car stars rolling and I lean back into my chair. Closing my eyes, wishing I could just fall asleep already.

"Kookie" Tae says.

I open my eyes and look over at him. His arms spread out in front of him.

I Scoot my way over to him and squish myself into his side, one of his hands wrapping round my waist and the other coming up to my hair.

"How are you feeling?" Tae asks, fiddling with my hair.

"A bit better, I just need some sleep" I reply.

"Try get some sleep then, we have a while left until we arrive" he says as my eyes start to droop closed.

"Hmm" I mumble.

Suddenly the sound of taes humming fills my ears. The sweet sound making me relax into his hold.

And before I knew it I was sound asleep.

Chapter Text

The next time I open my eyes it's to taehyung shaking me awake. The car is empty with only me and Tae left behind.

"Kookie you need to get up now, we're here"

I just grumble at Tae and sit up, fists coming up to rub at my eyes.

I stretch quickly before getting out the car. We are parked in front of a massive building with a set of stairs leading up inside of the building. I'm guessing we are parked round the back due to how hardly anyone is around.

Tae leads me inside the building through a small corridor which breaks out into different rooms. One of those rooms being the one we get ready in before the show.

"Ah jungkook your awake, we are starting rehearsals shortly so please get into your stage outfit" Namjoon says coming up to me and Tae. I give him a small nod before Tae drags me of to a dressing room.

Before I know it everyone is changed and we are all walking onto the stage.

A pang of anxiety starts to build up in my chest as I freeze to my spot. We're not even doing the proper concert yet and all I can't think about is what happened that night.

"You alright kookie" Jimin comes up next to me, his hand on my shoulder.

I give out a shaky breath but not answering, my mouth not able to form words. My eyes feel hazy as I look around the stadium, I can't help but think how similar it looks to the one I hate so much.

I feel like running, I feel like leaving this stage and never coming back. I want to cry, maybe even scream.

But I won't.

The only thing that keeps me from doing those things is my members.

Jimins hand on my shoulder feels good, safe in a way.

I can't say that they can protect me from anything like what happened happen again, but I know they will try there best. They always try there best and I appreciate that so much.

Sometimes I feel like I don't belong with them.

They are all perfect, every single one of them.

They all talk about there flaws almost daily but I can see them how they don't see themselves. Me compared to my members is nothing. I've had something that no one would ever want to happen to them happen. Making me feel almost nothing compared to not just them... Everyone.

There always worrying over me and i get that they care and that they want me safe. But I also don't want to be in there hair. I don't want to be something they constantly worry over.

Like right now. I can't even get my shit together because I stepped onto a stage.

Yes this should be something expected due to what happened, but in my books it's just another way to show how week I am, how week this... Thing.. Has made me.

And here I go, rambling on in my head and getting all worked up because of this concert. And once again getting the members worried for me.

It's been a few months now I should be able to get a hold of myself. The others would call this a step forward but I dont see myself going anywhere.

While my rambling had been going on, somehow, I ended up seated down in what seems to be the first chair the members could find. All of them standing around me while I was in my constant daze. Not even realizing they where there.

Once I snapped out of my daze I look around. Tae crouched at my side squeezing my hand while the others and the manager are spread out around me.

"Kookie" I hear Jin softly say as he's crouched infront of me.

I look at him and blink a few times as the haze starts to clear up.

"You okay" he asks, but as I go to open my mouth no words come out. My throat suddenly feeling dry. My eyes now feel clear as I look around the stage, some anxiety still bubbling in my chest.

"Come on kookie talk to me" I hear Jin say

"I'm fine" I manage to mumble, even if it's hardly audible.

"Your clearly not 'fine' kookie" Tae says, squeezing my hand harder. I squeeze back and shake my head.

"Hey, don't cry" Jin starts wiping tears away from my face. I didn't even realise I was crying.

"Sorry"

"Jungkook you don't need to say sorry for anything, it's fine"

I don't reply, I just look down into my lap.

"Why don't we go backstage for a bit yeah?" Yoongi says. I nod. And Before I know it all of us are heading backstage, Tae still clinging onto my side protectively. When we get backstage we all sit down, Tae and Jin try to get me to eat and drink but I refuse. I'm not hungry

Unfortunatly are time backstage doesn't last long as the manager decided to send us all back on stage, my anxiety is feeling a bit better now but it still doesn't mean I don't want to go on stage.

When we get on I have both Jin and Tae at my sides, both of them refusing to let go until they have to. I give them a smile as thanks before letting go to get into position for are first song we need to get ready for.

Luckily the songs go well, I manage to mess up a Thew time but none of them are too noticeable. The manager still has a small go at me about it though. But I was expecting to do much worse than what I did so I'm quite pleased with myself.

Rehearsals take a long time to finish up but finally it's over and done with, now we can all go and relax for the rest of the day.

Once we get the call from the manager saying it's over I rush quickly backstage and get ready as quickly as I can, I know I, just going to get loads of questions about what happened earlier.

I manage to finish just as the others come in, I grab my bag and get into the car. I make sure to sit right at the back.

The ride to the hotel room should be too long I hope, I just want to be alone right now.

After sitting in the car for a while the others come in, I put my headphones in and ignore them. Thankfully no one other than Tae was constantly giving me a worried glance from his seat beside me.

I just look out the window and sigh, thinking about how tomorrow going to end up.

Chapter Text

hello readers!! I'm sorry to say this is not an update
i have decided to discontinue this fic.
i just don't seem to know where to go with it anymore.
maybe at some point i will continue but probably not for a long time.
thank you everyone who has left kudos on this fic. it has meant everything to me :)
if you would like me to continue with this then please do comment down below. maybe ill change my mind.
anyway.. thank everyone!! :D