Archive of Our Own ^beta

Daniel rings the doorbell, then knocks several times. It's early, but not that early, not for Jack, who has a soldier's body clock. Up with the dawn.

When Jack finally comes to the door, he's in sweatpants and an old t-shirt for some children's T-ball league. “Daniel. It's early.”

“I finally got the images of the temple that Anubis destroyed translated. I was angry about how SG-12 missed the edges of the text. I want to do some training with the teams on how to properly document text if they find it, Jack. I think it would save us a lot of time. Then again, if they hadn't messed up the photos and we hadn't gone to try and see what it really said, we would have missed that Anubis came and blew it to smithereens. Anyway, I puzzled out what's missing and what it says about a weapon and I think I've got a lead on where we could go. I wanted to get your thoughts.”

Daniel comes through the entryway, talking and trying to show Jack the photos as he goes.

“So I take it you didn't sleep,” Jack says.

“What? No,” Daniel replies, almost impatiently. He needs Jack to see how important all this could be. They might have an edge over Anubis. It's not Atlantis, but they might be able to beat him to this. Or to something else. Even if this turns out to be technologically impractical, he wasn't to see anything left by the Ancients in their galaxy.

“If you'll look at the images, there are some funny discrepancies in the text. But I think they're on purpose. Sometimes I think the Ancients must have loved word puzzles and cryptoquotes and so forth. So many of the things we're finding seem to obscure their own meaning. It's like when we're offworld and we all use pop culture references to talk. Well, not me, but anything idiomatic because we know they will hear us and not get it. It's hiding the meaning in plain sight. I think the Ancients thought that way about everything. Oh, hi, Paul.”

As Daniel reaches the living room, he sees Paul Davis standing at the far end.

“Major Davis just came over to get some papers signed,” Jack says. “Military bureaucracy never ends.”

“I thought you'd left already Paul,” Daniel says. “Glad you didn't have to rush back to DC on a 24 hour turnaround. Um, so, Jack, let me show you how I think this works. And how we might be able to get a gate address out of it.”

Jack raises his eyebrows as Daniel sank into the sofa and began spreading out his papers and photos on the coffee table, removing the various odds and ends that were already there and stacking them, without asking, on the shelf below the tabletop.

“Let me just walk Major Davis out and make sure he got everything he needed,” Jack says.

“Uh-huh,” Daniel says, pulling out a pen and marking some things.

“Nice to see you again, Daniel,” Paul says. His voice sounds odd, but Daniel is already too wrapped up in his translation to care or notice much. He thinks maybe Paul is laughing at him and he's used to that. People laugh at geeks.

By the time Jack comes back, Daniel has made more notes and is drawing lines on the photos. “Do you have scissors? I want to try cutting these apart.”

Jack shrugs and brings him scissors.

* * *

It's more than two weeks and three fruitless trips through the gate later, that all of SG-1 is sitting in Daniel's lab, talking about Kull Warriors and cloning and goa'uld reproduction that the Ancient riddle comes up again.

“I really thought that would be it,” Daniel complains.

“The MALP didn't find anything. It's not even a breathable, habitable world,” Sam says.

“But we got a lock,” Daniel objects. There's something at the back of his brain that is bugging him but he can't say just what. When they sent the MALP through a week before, he hadn't been bothered. But a dozen Kull Warriors and two more undiscovered needles in haystacks and he wants to think about that Ancient weapon again.

“The planet was desolate,” Teal'c says. “Anything left there would have been destroyed, even the long lasting technologies of the Ancients.”

“Yeah,” Daniel says. “No, you're right.” He looks over his notes again.

“I think we should be focusing on the Kull Warrior suit,” Sam says. “I know what you're going to say, but Felger had this idea, and I know, Felger, but just hear me out because I think it's not a bad idea. He thought maybe there was a way to use the computer parts of the suit against the warriors themselves.”

“Are you suggesting we could disable the suit using technology?” Teal'c asks.

“Maybe,” Sam says.

“The warriors are formidable even without their attire.”

“Jack,” Daniel says suddenly, still looking at his notes, and something strange clicking into place, “what was Paul doing at your place that morning?”

“What?” Sam says.

“Major Davis had paperwork from the Pentagon for me that he forgot and had to get taken care of before he went back to Washington. Daniel, I said that when you were there.”

“Oh,” Daniel says. “Right.” He looks at Jack, but Jack isn't looking at him. He's looking at Sam.

“I don't want to rely on any plan that rests on Felger's ability to get things done,” Jack announces.

“Doctor Felger has indeed had several key failures at inopportune moments,” Teal'c says.

“I know, I know,” Sam says. “But it's not a bad idea.”

They start arguing the merits of Felger and the possibility that Anubis is too far ahead of them, though that's too depressing to really consider. Daniel stands up and announces he's getting coffee so the group breaks up.

* * *

Later, as Daniel passes Jack, who is already in civvies, getting ready to head to the elevators, he pauses. “Jack, did you really answer my question before?” He can't shake the sense that he's missed something.

Jack sighs. “What question, Daniel?” He speaks lightly, but the sigh speaks volumes to Daniel.

“Are you and Paul… I mean...” Daniel stumbles. As he's about to say it, the conclusions his brain is belatedly drawing seem absurd.

Jack cuts him off. “Daniel, you look tired, you should really get out of here. Anubis isn't going to destroy the Earth tonight.”

Daniel furrows his brow at Jack, as if Jack were an Ancient puzzle waiting to be solved.

“Jack...”

“You know, Daniel, if you're going to work too hard,” Jack says, slightly loudly into the hallway as much as too Daniel, “then I'll have to drag you out of here sometimes. Go get dressed. I know you haven't eaten yet and commissary food is going to do you in.”

Daniel stands there, unsure. He had been planning to try and clear some of his backlog of work. “Jack, I don't...”

“Now, Dr. Jackson,” Jack says amiably. “I'll even let you get sushi.”

“I don't know what you're...” Daniel starts, but then he trails off as he looks at Jack's face. “Um… yeah. I am hungry.”

* * *

Half an hour later, they're topside, getting into Jack's truck. Daniel is still feeling ambushed by the whole thing, unsure what to say. It's not until they pull out of the parking lot and get on the road that Jack finally speaks.

“Yes,” he says.

“Yes? Yes what?” Daniel isn't sure what the conversation even consists of.

“What do you think, Daniel?” Jack sounds peeved.

“I don't know, Jack! I don't even know what the conversation is.”

Jack drives on in silence for a few minutes and Daniel thinks he's going to have to say something else, but Jack pulls abruptly into an empty parking lot and parks the truck before turning to Daniel.

“You were about to ask me something and I stopped you. Daniel, either ask it now or drop it forever.” He sounds serious and annoyed.

“I was about to ask if you were sleeping with Paul,” Daniel says, aggrieved. “But that's practically preposterous so I didn't finish asking it.”

Even in the darkness of the empty strip mall parking lot, Daniel can see Jack's eyes roll. “Well I'm glad it's preposterous.”

“You're not saying you are sleeping with Paul?” Daniel feels like his eyes are probably about as wide as they ever get.

“If you insist I'm not,” Jack says, his voice still dripping with sarcasm.

“God, Jack, I...” Daniel stumbles, unsure what to say. “Was it… Are… Are you gay?”

“Don't ask, don't tell,” he replies, still sounding sarcastic, but less so.

There's a long moment that draws out in the darkness, where Daniel feels like he's probably gaping. He might even look like a fish with his mouth hanging open. He tries to compose himself, tries to figure out what he wants to say, starts to say it, but then fails because he isn't sure what it is.

Finally, Jack turns away, back toward the steering wheel.

“Still want sushi?”

Daniel feels like he's been taken pity on. “Um… I… Jack...”

“It's a simple question.”

“Jack, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to...” Daniel isn't sure what he wants to say. Didn't mean to make him uncomfortable? Didn't mean to force him to come out? Didn't mean to call his sex life preposterous? Didn't mean to make assumptions? Didn't mean to stereotype?

“Daniel. What the hell are you apologizing for?”

Jack doesn't turn back to him but Daniel can practically feel the eyeroll.

“Nothing. It was one of those stupid apologies, when you don't know what to say.”

“Well, I'm glad I've found the thing that renders Daniel Jackson speechless. Next time I need you to shut up, I'll bring out more revelations about my love life.”

Daniel huffs, too on edge to really laugh, but it's funny. He appreciates the joke and the fact that Jack is trying to make one. “Um… I'm still speechless. But sushi still sounds good.”

* * *

Jack orders the sushi to go, piled into little boxes to take with them along with miso soup and packets of takeout soy sauce.

They sit on Jack's sofa with Jack's TV showing a basketball game that Daniel has less than no interest in. Jack sets the sushi on the coffee table along with a couple of beers. It's rare that Daniel isn't working on a problem or a puzzle or trying to figure something out. Now that he doesn't have any other distraction, he finds himself amazed by Jack's ability to be at ease with silence in the middle of awkwardness.

As they finish off the food, Jack says, “Daniel, you're oncoming apocalypse level nervous. Please tell me that when we show up to work tomorrow that not going to be like this.”

“Yeah,” Daniel says, nodding. “I didn't think of that.”

Jack sighs and turns off the TV. “What do you want to know?”

That's just it. Daniel isn't sure what he wants to know. He holds up his hands in a gesture of bewilderment.

Jack raises his eyebrows. “Look,” he says. “Yes, I'm gay. Yes, I've always been gay. Yes, I loved Sara very much but my marriage broke up for countless reasons and this was obviously one of them. No, not a lot of people know.”

“And… Paul?”

“I can't answer for Paul.”

“I meant...”

“I know what you meant. Paul is a friend. That's all.” He is oddly resolute as he says it.

“A friend you're sleeping with?”

“Yes, Daniel. A friend I'm sleeping with occasionally. Nothing more.”

Daniel can't think what else to say. He's not sure what he expected Jack to say. Even with all the other surprises of the day, he isn't shocked that Jack isn't proclaiming that he's in love with Paul Davis. But another part of him wants Jack to have some great love. It's sad somehow that he was married and it ended in tragedy and knowing that the marriage was on some level a sham somehow compounds the tragedy for Daniel. He has always thought that in his own way, Jack was like him, a man who had been in love once and lost his wife, though in a totally different manner.

“You still look like a deer caught in the headlights. Is this going to take you two weeks to process and then suddenly you'll pop up in a staff meeting having realized exactly what you wanted to ask?”

“No. Maybe. I can be discrete, you know. I'm sorry if… The revelation just took me by surprise was all. And it didn't seem like I could be right until you said...”

“I get it.” Jack leans back on his sofa. He sips a beer still in the bottle. “Paul said you'd do this.”

“Do what?”

“Paul said you were too wrapped up in your translation to notice but that it would come to you later that you'd caught us and then you wouldn't accept my excuses. He said I should talk to you.” Jack emphasizes the word talk in a way Daniel can't quite understand.

“You can talk to me,” Daniel says, thinking. “I guess Paul may know me better than I realized.” He leans forward, looking at the mostly empty sushi boxes. “He's… um… he's a good guy.”

“You got to know him in Moscow that time.”

“Yeah.”

“He missed you when you were… away.”

Daniel looks up at Jack. “You missed me too.”

Jack pauses and his voice comes out rough. “It nearly killed me, Daniel. You broke… you nearly broke me leaving like that. You have no fucking clue.” He looks so sincere. He's the exact opposite of how he was before, sarcastic and caustic and mocking. Daniel feels something strange as he looks at him, something he can't quite put his finger on.

“I'm here now.”

Jack nods. There's another silence then Jack asks, “You want that last California roll?” And the look, whatever it was, is gone in an instant and Daniel feels whatever he was reaching toward fizzle out as well.

“Um...” Daniel looks away, distracted. “Yeah. Sure. We should finish it.” He picks up the disposable chopsticks and pokes at the final roll and the bit of wasabi left next to it.

* * *

It's months later that they're sitting off world at a fire. It's been an overwhelming week. Sarah Gardner is still in isolation at the hospital and Daniel has been visiting her, trying to juggle work and whatever sense of obligation he feels toward her, something he can't quite tease out. He wants to help and even promised to do so, but seeing her makes him think of Sha're, which isn't anything he wants to think about. And Anubis is still out there. And they haven't found Atlantis.

This world isn't Atlantis either. The ruins have turned out to be as spectacular as SG-8 promised, and they likely belonged to an amazing civilization, one that Daniel can't see had any connection to either the Ancients or the goa'uld, which is interesting in and of itself. There's a boxy abstract script everywhere that Daniel has never encountered before. It's the sort of thing that could be someone's life work to figure out, except he has too many other things to figure out.

Jack is sitting across from him at the fire, eating and MRE and looking at the stars. As he watches him, Daniel feels like nothing is in control, like he can't make anything make sense. Except, as he watches Jack, suddenly he recalls that night eating sushi and talking and something goes click.

Sam is talking with Teal'c about her new boyfriend, about tau'ri dating rituals and Teal'c is clearly mystified but interested, trying to relate it to his experiences seeing Ishta. Jack looks pensive, as if he's annoyed by it all, and Daniel supposes that's why he's had this realization.

“Jack, when you said...” he starts, then he stops himself. It's too big for this moment. Maybe it's too big for any moment. He doesn't know how he feels. He doesn't know what any of it means. And right now, it's not the revelation he needs to have. He needs to find Atlantis and Anubis and if he can't do those things, nothing else will matter, not Sam's new boyfriend or whether Teal'c goes back to see Ishta or how Jack feels about anyone.

Jack pulls his gaze away from the heavens. “What, Daniel?”

“Um… I forgot what I was going to say.”

Jack doesn't look surprised. “It'll come to you later.”

“Probably at a really inconvenient time.”

“Exactly. Try to keep it to yourself then.”

Daniel smiles at Jack across the fire. “Yeah. I will.”