Chapter Text
Jonathan Joestar and the Trolley Witch
What is 'strange' strange is a great many things; Strange is the feeling or knowledge that something around you is out of the norm, strange is Joseph's hand or Jotaro's hat or hair or whatever, and strange is the current predicament the Joestar lineage found themselves in.
A person can claim many things have been weird or strange throughout their lives, that at some point something out of the ordinary has happened to them or the people around them, but no one I dare think has ever been in the current situation of the Joestar family. Oh, where to begin let's see how about when Jotaro defeated the quasi-immortal DIO or no, how about the event afterwards in which a young Robert E.O Speedwagon a man displaced from time straight from the 1880's showed up in 1989 warning of a greater threat to all of reality.
An initial group including Joseph, Jotaro and Speedwagon set off an a quest through time using the power of a phenomena known as dimensional rifts defeating whatever obstacles came into their path, as they fought and travelled through time they gathered a larger group, one that as of the current time consisted of all allies the JoJo's ever had alongside their respective JoJos. As you can imagine having a force as big as this sounds and being on a quest that could take days at best living arrangements weren't easy to come by, as luck would have it while during a stop over in the Naples Train Station in 2001 the group found a place that they could call home for the meantime a home unlike any other a turtle with a dimension inside of it.
It had been a few days since the find of the turtle dimension, it says a lot for a particular crowd when the thought of living inside a turtle doesn't particularly faze you but that's just the kind of crowd the Joestar lineage was, they had seen things vampires, Aztec men with heliophobia, an incredibly buff vampire who could stop time, a serial killer with a hand fetish and the list goes on.
So why should anything ever faze these bizarre souls?
=Morioh Town-1999=
-Turtle Room-
The Turtle Room stood quietly as the six people inside stood in a circle staring confused and concerned at what seemed to be a thick envelope.
The Turtle Squad as they now affectionately referred to themselves as had been doing a stop over in Morioh Town in 1999, going to do various things such as food and bathroom breaks (something the turtle room desperately needed to cater to) and as such all occupants found themselves outside the room at some point or another so imagine the surprise when an envelope clearly marked with the names of six of their members shows up with absolutely no one to lay claim of having put it there or having seen it appear.
The six stand in the room once again with one question on their minds 'who sent these'.
"Let's just open them STAR-"
"STOP Jotaro we don't know what they are" as Joseph jumps in the way of Jotaro. As Jotaro stares angrily at Joseph the six go back to watching the mysterious letters. They all think the same thing 'what are they where did they come from, do we open them'
"Joseph I'm sure that whatever's in there can't be that bad," Jonathan said
"It just looks like an ordinary letter"
"Jiji" Joseph began "what's not suspicious about this situation, I mean just look at it an envelope addressed to all six of us specifically"
"Admittedly that is a bit odd but-"
"That's not the worst part it's got the location it was sent to" Joseph leant down to get a closer look at the envelope whilst maintaining his distance "let's see
'Mr Jonathan & Joseph Joestar, Mr Jotaro and Ms Jolyne Kujo, Mr Josuke Higashikata and Mr Giorno Giovanna'
'The Room within the Turtle'
'Morioh Town'"
"We shouldn't open it, this could be the work of an enemy stand" Jolyne threw in her 2 cents.
"But it could help us in solving our quest at hand" Giorno tried reasoning
"We should wait for Mr Speedwagon to come back," Joseph said
And so the debate went on, arguments were being thrown back and forth, for and against and it wasn't long for the group to start throwing insults at each other it was amazing no one had started using brute force but all in all the room had been plunged into utter chaos.
It was in the chaos that a rip of paper could be heard, everything went silent all eyes focused on the culprit.
"Jonathan care to explain what you're doing with that envelope in your hand" Joseph rounded on his grandfather
"Well during the arguing I just picked up the letter, and look it's not even dangerous" Jonathan looked hopeful that the people in the room would just let the issue go now that he had opened it by the looks of it Josuke, Jotaro and Giorno were with him on this, the look on Joseph's face suggested otherwise and Jolyne looked impartial.
"This is fine, ok I can see the envelopes not dangerous" Jolyne admitted slowly rationalising the situation "but Jonathan I have a question for you?"
"Yes"
"How the fuck did you pick up the envelope, you're the size of a fucking bull"
And so the group begrudgingly moved on, the Turtle Squad once again reunited in a common goal to read what was in that letter. And so Jonathan unfurled the note and began to read.
"Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry"
"This is already starting off weird I don't trust it" Joseph cut in
"Joseph," Jonathan said slowly, his impatience with his future grandson slowly growing his thoughts somewhere along the line of 'how un-gentleman like of any descendent of mine', not waiting to see if Joseph was going to cut in again Jonathan continued.
"Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore order of merlin, first class, grand sorcerer, chief warlock, supreme mugwump, international federation of wizards"
"Do any of us need to actually say anything about how this is going?"
"I will admit this is a little bizarre even by my standards" many thoughts running through Jonathan's head, 'what in gods name is a mugwump' was the primary one right now but that thought was quickly being overruled by the look Joseph was giving him 'he thinks such a thing as a mugwump is going to stop me from finishing this letter, you haven't won yet Joseph'
"Right everyone let's finish this letter" Jonathan yelled with renewed vigour, as he sped through the rest of the letter.
"Dear Mr Jonathan & Joseph Joestar, Mr Jotaro & Ms Jolyne Kujo, Mr Giorno Giovanna and Mr Josuke Higashikata
We are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, due to the circumstances of your location a staff member from Hogwarts will give you an equipment and class list upon arrival at The Leaky Cauldron in London, Please see additional parchment for details on how to reach The Leaky Cauldron.
Yours Sincerely
Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore
Headmaster at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry"
"So if I understand this correctly, we're going to go to school and learn about…. Magic?" Jonathan said/questioned as he fished through the envelope to grab the instructions on how to get to this Leaky Cauldron place that was apparently somewhere in London 'are those socks, what on earth are socks doing in an envelope… ah, there's the note I best just leave the socks in there for now'.
"Alright let's find out how to get to this Leaky Cauldron and head on our way"
"Jonathan you can't be serious for one thing we don't know if this is a trap or not, it could be an enemy for all we know" Joseph argued "And second in case we've all forgotten we are trying to take down a vampire with what seems like practical control over reality he could attack us at any time and by going to a school we would just be putting more people in danger"
"But Joseph what if this isn't a trap what if it's actually a way to learn about magic, and you saw what happened when we faced DIO we don't stand a chance at the time being, what if… what if this is something we can learn and use against DIO" Jonathan was not backing down from this fight, he had started this debate and he sure as hell was planning on finishing it.
He looked around the room hopefully, someone would still agree with him, I mean surely someone else found this an exciting prospect but all he saw were conflicted faces Josuke and Jolyne by the looks of it had made up their mind and sided with Joseph while Giorno remained indifferent.
"I'm in" a voice rang out from the silence that had edged its way into the room.
Jonathan was taken back and surprised by who had sided with him it was none other than his great-great-grandson Jotaro.
"You mean it, you actually agree with me?"
"I've remained pretty indifferent to this whole situation and I can see the merits in what the old man is saying-"
"I'M ONLY 19"
"But… you're right this could be a way to beat DIO and The World Over Heaven and that is an opportunity we have to take, and so what if it is a trap, name an obstacle that has stopped a Joestar, that's right none, individually we have surpassed all enemies who have stood before us so together as a family what are a few traps short of DIO gonna do to us?" he looked around the room awaiting a response "Because my guess is that nothing any of DIO's cronies throw at us is going to stop us in the slightest, just step back and look at all our individual achievements, Jonathan, you managed to fight through a horde of vampire zombies mastering the art of hamon along the way, and at the end you bested Dio not once but twice" Jonathan smiled at the thought of what he had indeed accomplished.
"Jiji" Jotaro turned and looked at Joseph "You managed to fight the creators of the stone mask, the cause of all this and when one of them got the upper hand what did you do?, you outwitted him, 'a perfect being', so I don't want you telling any of us that a trap could defeat you" Joseph stared blankly at Jotaro for a few seconds before going into a deep thought "and then there's myself along with yet again, Joseph, we managed to fight through more than a dozen of DIO's disciples and fight DIO himself and in the end despite his ability to stop time itself I won and killed DIO".
The hold that Joseph's vote once held was beginning to wane as more people gained confidence in Jonathan's idea "and as for you three" Jotaro said as he looked at Josuke, Giorno and Jolyne "I'm not one hundred percent sure on your stories, but I am absolutely positive that what you have accomplished is as good if not better than us" the tide was almost completely turned so Jotaro went in for the final push, a solemn look adopted his face "during our respective journeys many of our allies died to get to the end, for me it was my friends Kakyoin, Avdol and Iggy just think back to all the people who got us here and remember..."
MAJOR SPOILER - CHARACTER DEATHS FROM EACH ARC UP UNTIL PART 6
'Danny, Father, Baron Zeppeli' Jonathan thought
'Caesar' Joseph thought an almost depressed look upon his face
'Grandpa, Shigekiyo' Josuke thought
'Abbacchio, Narancia, Buccellati' Giorno reflected on the gang members who had died to find the boss so that he could kill him
'F.F, Weather Report' Jolyne thought ' hopefully no one else will die before I finish off Pucci'.
MAJOR SPOILER END
The group had a sad aura around it as Jotaro started to talk again "...and remember that all of those who died did it for one undenied reason, they did it so that they could stop evil from taking over the world and as cliche as that sounds it's true, so it's our job as Joestar's to do as they died for and find any means possible to get rid of DIO once and for all" and so the final roll had been cast and so the Joestar's now stood looks of admiration on each face in the room as they thought of doing this for the friends and allies who had died to get them there, needless to say, everyone in the room even Joseph the most adamant against the idea was amazed by what Jotaro had just said.
'I had no idea dad could hold a speech like that' Jolyne thought.
'So this is the man who killed dad the first time' Giorno thought a calculating look as he tried to get a read on Jotaro Kujo 'no doubt about it though he's a good man'
"Well I don't like it but Jotaro's right, together there's nothing we can't overcome, I guess I'm in" Joseph had finally succumbed they could all proceed "by the way Jotaro I hope you do these speeches more in the future, with moral like that it's no wonder you beat DIO the first time"
"Don't count on it… Shitty old man"
And so after Jotaro's morale raising speech, anybody who had thought about saying no to going to the Leaky Cauldron had defiantly changed their mind.
"Right so we're all agreed, we're all going to find out how to get there?" Jonathan returned to the head of the conversation ready to read the final note.
"I'm with dad on this I'm defiantly in" Jolyne came forward
"Well if it helps me maintain my Gangstar status, I'm in" Giorno came forward
"I could use a little bit of a break after last year, anymore serial killers show up in Morioh everybody else can deal with it" and finally Josuke
"So we're all agreed," Jolyne asked "we're going to school?"
"We're going to school" They all shouted together.
'Can't believe I had to give a speech just so we could all admit to that'
"Ok everybody, let's find out how to get to the Leaky Cauldron" and so Jonathan read the final note after what seemed like ages of nonsensical debate.
"Due to the rather bizarre circumstances of your location, I have decided to enclose a pair of portkeys to the Leaky Cauldron. A portkey is an object of which once bewitched can teleport the user(s) to a preset location, a room has been booked by the school for you up until the beginning of the school semester, you may use this time to pick up your school supplies, a list of said supplies will be with your designated handler on arrival.
P.S. in order to use a portkey you must simply hold onto it, may I suggest 1 between 3 for your group.
Sincerely
Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore"
With the note finished Jonathan once again went to look through the envelope for the aforementioned 'portkey' and upon looking in he knew immediately what the portkey was 'oh...oh I should have guessed, well time to show them to the others' and with that thought Jonathan dumped the remaining contents of the envelope on the table.
"socks, the magical item of which can teleport us to a whole new location is a pair of socks," Jolyne said disbelievingly.
"Uhm...well… Yes" Jonathan responded lamely "how about we split the teams Joseph, Jotaro and I will go first, Giorno, Josuke and Jolyne will follow soon after"
A resounding "ok" went around the room as Joseph and Jotaro stepped up to the first sock.
"Ok are we all ready," Jonathan asked
"Yes" the other two responded
"You know I'm starting to wonder how I could ever have thought this was an enemy," Joseph remarked as his hand reached for the sock. With all 3 people holding the first sock they played the waiting game.
"This better not mess up my hair, do you know how long it took me to do this, this morning," Josuke said, Jotaro began to smirk "you know it wouldn't take much to ruin that hairstyle" and the snide remark hit.
"What the fuck did you just say about my hair, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU JOTARO" Josuke screamed as he went to charge the still smirking Jotaro while Jolyne could be seen holding back laughter behind him, and just before Josuke could reach him Jotaro, Joseph and Jonathan simply disappeared.
The second group waited about five seconds before taking their positions.
"Are we all ready?" Giorno asked
"yep"
"I'm going to fucking kill him once we get there"
The three grabbed the sock and waited before feeling a nauseating pull behind their naval region, and like that, they had all arrived in a small single bed room belonging to none other than The Leaky Cauldron.
Upon the other groups arrival Joseph was rolling on the floor laughing as hard as he could, Jonathan was smiling politely caught between a mix of amusement and wanting to throw up while Jotaro simply stood a smirk still present as he waited to be punched by his enraged uncle and just as he predicted the moment Josuke stood up he locked straight onto Jotaro and charged him.
While this was going on Giorno stood by watching a hint of amusement in his eyes and Jolyne found the nearest convenient pot plant to actually throw up in.
All the proceedings went on for about an hour while the group adjusted to their surroundings Jonathan staring out the window at what was to him a futuristic London trains and cars everywhere, tall buildings made of glass all of this simply amazed him at his side was Joseph who was just as equally amazed at how far the world had come in about 60 years, while the rest of the group sat around waiting for anything to happen and so another 30 minutes passed before a loud knock came from the door.
"That must be the staff member," Jonathan said as he went to open the door, and at the door stood a hulking figure stand at least a foot or two over Jonathan.
"Hello there my name is Hagrid the keeper of keys and groundskeeper at Hogwarts and you must all be the Joestar family," the man now identified as Hagrid said as he smiled politely at all of them.
"OH MY GOD Your massive" Joseph yelled in surprise, Jonathan shook his head at his grandson's manners while Jotaro looked on a bored look on his face and he simply said
"Yare Yare Daze"
-TO BE CONTINUED