Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Oh na na what's my name? Oh na na what's my name?"

Rihanna, nope, but rather my ringtone alarm was shouting at my ears. I quickly shut my Nokia cellphone and dozed back to sleep. In my dreams, I was holding the mic getting ready to perform infront of thousands and thousands of people. Awww... what an overwhelming feeling it is. I opened my mouth to sing but then the crowd disappears. It became pitch black and all the fans are gone. The hell? The atmosphere changed into a dressing room, a fucking dressing room, and the mic on my hand was now a hairbrush. A fucking hairbrush. Fuck.

"Damn you hairbrush!" I shouted throwing the old Nokia phone I was holding on my hand. I opened my eyes. I glanced on the wall clock ticking above my head. It's 6 AM. Shit.

I jumped out of the bed. 6 AM. I've got an hour to change my looks before my master boss bi-atch (no offence, it's what I secretly call her nowadays, my unique term of endearment for her) wakes up. I looked at the mirror sitting atop a wooden small dresser. There was my just-woken-up face.

Harry Styles. Yep, I'm Harreh. From 1deh. Styles with a Y.

I quickly hurried to the bathroom. I showered fast and scrubbed my gorgeous bod whilst singing to Gwen Stefani's Rich Girls. After an ample amount of time, I brought out my weapon. An airbrush.

Lou Teasdale, the makeup jedi handed me this airbrush with care. I remember her words, "Take this airbrush with you at all times, Curly." I nod, hypnotized like she's Darth Vader that can control minds. Well, she also handed me stuffs that a stylist like her greatly appreciates like straightening iron and tons of makeup.

Now back to the airbrush. As I stripped naked, I sprayed that weird gun thingy to conceal my tattoos. This is a high class airbrush with an accompanying high class concealer makeup that will last for twelve fucking hours or so. Why on Earth does Lou Teasdale have this wonderful thing? Because... she's a Jedi master.

"Relax sweetie it will be just for a while," I whispered to myself as I covered every single tattoo found on my body. A slight frustration hit on the back of my head. It would be way easier if I woke up earlier because covering all these stuffs is kind off meticulous for a guy with forty plus tattoos. Oh well...

I watched as the permanent marks on my skin disappeared one by one. I've always been a fan of tattoos, each of these has a significant meaning on my personal life. It's part of me, my identity as HS. Bye clothes hanger. Bye never gonna dance again. Bye 17 Black. Bye Haylor ship. Bye. For a while.

I stood infront of the mirror. Naked. I'm back to being Harold Circa White Eskimo days. No tats. But I am not Harry as of now. I am...

"Marcel!"

A shout came from the master's bedroom.

"Oh bloody hell. She's awake," I annoyingly whisper to myself. I rummaged to the contents of my drawer containing loads of makeup and other stuffs for my disguise, thanks again to Lou. I pulled the straightening iron and plug it on. The next second, I am busy straightening my famous curls.

I dumped a massive amount of gel and styled it, the way Lou taught me how to do it. Jimmy Neutron hairstyle with three sideparts (Go check the Youtube tutorial lads to get the style). After minutes or so I looked like a grown up Jimmy Neutron. Next stop was a jump to the nearby closet.

"Marcel!"

Holy crap. Her sudden shout made me almost pee on my underpants. Her voice was so so distant as if she's behind me that I need to check my back to see if she's really there. Well, she's not. It just turns out to be my imagination because I was currently on a panic mode. I go back to the stuffs on my closet.

I glanced at the rack of clothes lined up holding the outfits or what I called 'costumes' that I never thought I would wear in my wildest dreams. I quickly grabbed a white long-sleeved polo shirt. Basic uniform for a personal assistant, if you may ask. I put a brown vest above it. Bye skinnies, I opt to wear a semi-loose khaki pants on a regular basis. I miss my brown boots but I have to go with this ugly brown penny loafers. Suspenders? That will be cute, but not for now.

I take a quick glance at the mirror. Oh bloody son of a bi-atch. I looked like a fucking cupcake-cute nerdy weirdo. No trace of Harry Styles in it.

"Marcel! Where the hell are you?!"

Shit. She's mad. "I... I am just getting dressed, Ma'am..." I squeaked in a high pitched best American accent I can pulled off, basically same as Tomlinson's pitch. Who on earth can imagine that I can speak like that? My fake voice sounds weird even on my ears.

"Get down now. I'm starving."

I checked my reflection once again. No more pretty face Hazza. I looked like a dweeby, marketing guy, the one that knocks on your house and offers you a vacuum cleaner or a six-volume encyclopedia. Heck, I may look like a marketing guy but I am a personal assistant. Of someone who's so important and so famous right now.

I hurried down the stairs and saw my master slash dominant (nope, just kidding) slash boss sitting at the dining table. She's looking at me with a raised eyebrow and her lips were pressed on a thin line. Her fingers were tapping the table like she's been waiting for forty years. Pretty fucking mad I think.

"Good morning, Ma'am." I chirped on a small voice, biting my lower lip.

"I'm hungry, Marcel," Taylor blandly said to me.

Yes, ladies and gents, you heard it right. It's Taylor Swift.

I am Taylor Swift's personal assistant.

"What do you prefer, Ma'am?" I asked as I moved inches towards her, one hundred percent ready to attend her daily demands for that morning.

She sighed, still not amused by the fact that I was late for my job. "Just coffee. And something light to eat." She grabbed the newspaper and started reading the headline of the entertainment section.

"You want some pancakes, Ma'am?" I said in a happy tone, smiling at her. Rule number one, the PA should always be energetic and jolly in order to infect his master's mood.

She glanced at me, her sharp stare a while ago had melted away and now her eyes speak of some emotions. Loneliness, tiredness, and starvation. I love her face when she's like this. Her early morning look, the natural one. No make-up. Hair that hasn't been touch by the comb. Although when she's in full groom, red lipstick and killer bangs, you know that she'll blow away your mind.

"Yes, Marcy. Pancakes please."

Like what she did to me. Three months ago. And still continuing up to the present.

"I'll prepare your breakfast. Right away!" I said in a cheerful tone, looking like a cartoon character. Her eyes soften as she glanced back at the newspaper, looking a little more pleased by my energy.

I went to the kitchen and scrambled to the pantry, looking for an instant pancake mix.

I used to be the heartthrob, the once famous Harry Styles of One Direction, singing songs to young ladies and making them swoon. But look at me now, panicking on how to cook some pancakes that will pass my master's taste. Pancake panic I must say.

After struggling to cook five pieces of pancakes, I drizzled some caramel syrup on the lovely pancakes. I always knew Taylor loves caramel syrup more than the maple, we used to have them as props on some of our up all night sessions. Wooh... talk about reminiscing our past as a couple.

"Marcel..."

Shit. Boss is mad and hungry. I quickly hurried to the dining table to serve the food as she was looking at me with her cellphone on her hand.

"Pancakes are ready, Ma'am." I smiled brightly at her but her response is a cold shoulder. "Is there a problem, Ma'am?"

"Marcel, have my things prepared right away. Manager called. My rehearsal is at eight," she said in still serious tone. "Oh God, I can't believe I forgot my rehearsals today. I thought we are going shopping later." She picked up her fork and took a bite on the pancake.

"Well, this is really good," she said smiling at me.

I smiled back at her. "Thanks, Ma'am. I'll prepare your things right away."

Cooking her breakfast, preparing her stuffs. You haven't seen anything yet. I am doing loads of things for her like picking up gowns that she will use on awards night or styling her hair and makeup. Yep. This is my life now. Taylor Swift is my boss. And I am stuck at being Marcel, her personal assistant.

Can't believe how this shit happened right? Well, let me take you back three months ago where this entire disguise first happened. How Marcel was born.

XXX

Chapter Text

Harry’s POV

My disguise for that day was simple. Just my favourite orange beanie to partially hide my curls.

“Tell me tell me tell me how to turn your love on...” I hummed as I took a glance on my mobile phone. I am basically watching our newly released video, ‘Kiss You’ on Youtube.

Hit refresh and replay, says the computer inclined kids these days. But I wonder, will this also work on my Iphone?

I took a sip on my favourite drink, passion fruit and mango smoothie. Only a few people were here at Starbucks cafe. Afterall, it’s only just five in the morning and they must be sleeping on their lovely beds.

Sleep. That’s one thing that I need the most. My head’s been fuzzy a couple of days ago because of a lot of things: there were work obligations here and there, hiding from the paps that constantly following your every move, plus the fact that me and Taylor had a nasty fight which ended up pretty bad I guess.

I was so drunk the night we had a fight while we’re on a vacation. Still, I can’t remember all the details that happened in between. All I clearly remembered is that she got mad at me and left me on the island.

She broke up with me. And I’m still not over from that fact.

So yeah, I need a fucking sleep. That’s the downfall of being one of us, we get to have the most extravagant things, wear fab clothes, drive luxury cars and get to earn a lot by doing our work commitments but at the end of the day, you’ll have to have a rest in order to clear your mind. I need some fucking sleep.

But wait a second everyone, I’m up here early because I have business to do. Involving her. But to be honest, I still haven’t figure out my next move in order to win her back.

 “Hey!” A familiar voice boomed at me.

“Georgy Porge!” I said with a smile as I fist bump my friend George Shelley who is working here as a barista.

The guy gave a wide grin. “Harry Haz,” he said as he exchanged the hand gesture with me. “Wassup?”

I raise my eyebrow and glance at my phone where ‘Kiss You’ is playing.

“I see...” he nod. “Raping the refresh button?”

“Uhm... I think so... yeah. If that was an acceptable term,” I answered, laughing a bit.

“Oh Harold the VEVO countdown is already over, it’s useless to do that...” his tone changed into an apologetic one. He then frowned at me.

Ooohhh. What was I thinking? I didn’t even know what day is it today. Fuck this lack of sleep.

My hands went straight to my temples and massaged it.

“Hangover?” G asked as he took a seat beside me. Here’s my bestfriend to the rescue, producing a piece of Aspirin from his pocket and handing it to me. “Headache perhaps?”

“The latter,” I mumbled while I rubbed my temples. Fucking headache that I don’t even know what the date is. On my mobile phone, Zayn kissed me as our video ends.

“So you got a headache but you’re sitting here at five in the morning. That is... weird. What are you up to?” my best bud asked.

I hesitated for a moment. “Uhm...”

“Just tell it H.”

I blinked. I reminisced our fight that happened a few days ago. I looked back at the part where she was shouting at me, her beautiful face marked by tears escaping from her eyes. Shit. I made her cry.

“I was such a dickhead, G,” I mumbled, my head shaking.

George let out a heavy sigh. “So it’s true that the two of you broke up. It’s not just a rumor right?”

I glanced at the plastic cup of my smoothie. It was already sweating, just like my forehead. Then I remember some details on that night again. She was crying. She stormed out with her final words, “I am setting you free.” And with that, she left me.

“Fuck!” I slammed the table. “Fuck.”

George looked at me with his big brown eyes. “Sooo?” He made the long ‘O’ sound quite comedic. “It’s really true?”

“It’s true,” I answered.

Suddenly, I found myself on the verge of tears. I can picture my old self, the young crying Harold who’s so scared and confused when I got lost in a park once. I let out a heavy sigh. G stroked my shoulder.

“Seriously... you’re gonna waste your tears for her?” George smirked at me. He was kidding of course and was just trying to lighten the mood.

I tapped the table. There were just two or three people inside Starbucks. I moved my head closer to G to whisper him my reply to his question.

“Look George, you can’t blame me. I love her. I still love her.”

The words that came out my mouth felt a little bit strange to my ears. I haven’t told my feelings infront of my best bud and it’s quite awkward spilling the beans. You know, after all the chaos that me and Taylor had been to, with all the hype on the social media thinking that our love is just fake, I was sure enough to confess to him that I still love her.

George was calm as always. “What are you going to do now?” he asked.

What am I going to do? Fuck. I don’t have any idea on my head right now. Sleep?

“Maybe I’ll just text her and ask her to meet me here at Starbucks,” I casually answered although she haven’t return any of my calls since she left me on our vacation.

G raised an eyebrow with a disappointed look etched on his face.

“What if she doesn’t text you back? You two just had a fight and broke up, and were not in good terms right now, may I remind you that,” he replied.

“You’re trying to imply something...” My eyes narrow in question.

George nod. “It’s because you’re still the demanding one, H. If you wanna be in good terms with T, don’t tell her what she’s going to do. It’s you who have to make the move. She’s upset at you so it’s given that she’ll never meet you here, like ever. Stop being bossy.”

He stared at me, trying to convince me to man up and do my move. George has a point. If I want to win her back, I need to fix this shit. And I’ll be the man who must go to her and say sorry for the fight we had.

“You should talk to her,” G said to me. “I saw her van parked at the studio a few minutes before you arrived. Maybe she’s doing rehearsals right now.”

Yes. She’s doing some voice lessons every Tuesday, how the fuck can I forget that? My eyes went bright again. Perfect timing. This will be the perfect chance to talk to her.

“Thanks bro,” I tapped George’s shoulder and he tapped it back. “I really appreciate your advice, mate.”

“No problemo amigo. You know you always had my back,” he said grinning. “Now go get your ass outta here.” He collected my cup as I hurriedly went out the coffee shop, continuously thanking George who saved my day.

I saw the Taylor Swift’s Red van parked outside the studio. George’s right. She’s here. A rumbling groaned at my stomach and it goes up to create a lump on my throat. I was freaking fucking nervous.

What will I say? How will I talk to her? How will she respond back? Will she ever want to see me? I should have brought her flowers. Or a seven hundred word apology letter. So many things on my head right now.

I hurriedly went inside the studio to look for her. As I was about to go to the elevator, I saw Taylor from a distant, surrounded with three big guys that I’d never seen before. I quickly run towards her.

“Taylor!” I shouted.

Her eyes caught mine. She was a bit shocked but doesn’t say a word. She looked down to avoid my gaze, signalling two of her escorts to block her. Why?

“Mr. Harry Styles,” one of the guys, her newly hired bodyguard (now I know) came forward to my direction gesturing me to back off.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” I shouted as the beefy guy tried to push me away from her. Taylor’s head was kept down as she continued walking with her other two escorts.

Bodyguard One still pushed me. “Mr. Styles... please.” He commanded with a monotone yet respectful voice as he pushed me farther away from her.

Taylor was still surrounded by those guys, obstructing me. What the fuck is happening? It’s like I’m a stalker or a killer or some bad guy.

“Tay!” I shouted, extending my arms to reach her but was quickly blocked by her annoyed bodyguard.

Bodyguard Two gave me a death glare. “Mr. Styles, better stay away from Ms. Swift,” he warned me.

They continued walking out the studio as I followed them. I looked like an ass or a puppy or a desperate insane fan trailing from behind, thank heavens that it’s only 6 AM or else my face will be plastered again on some online gossip site.

“What the heck Taylor?!” I continued screaming as they continued walking, now in a faster pace because I was still following them. “Why are you doing this? Why won’t you talk to me or face me?” My voice was raspy and desperate and I know I looked like an idiot right now.

The door of the vehicle opened and she quickly climbed inside. I saw the door closed and I was left with those pesky muscular sons of the bitch bodyguard of hers.

I moved closer to the van, tapping the window and hoping that behind those tinted glasses, she can see me.

“Taylor! Talk to me! Why the fuck are you doing this?!”

I felt a hard pull on my arm as one of her bodyguards got behind me. He picked me up like I am a little child only to lengthen the distance between me and the van.

“Mr. Styles we gave you a warning!” the guy growled.

“Fuck you and your warning!” I was raging mad and in one second I can really punch the guy on his nose due to my anger. “I wanna talk to her so let me!”

The bodyguards went silent for a moment. They glanced at each other. “You haven’t received the e-mail Mr. Styles?” one of them asked.

I shook my head. “Nope. What e-mail?” I asked back, my anger now subdued for a bit.

“Ms. Swift never told you...” said one of her bodyguards as he looked pitifully at me. I can sense something was wrong.

“Told me what?” My mind was racing with a thousand thoughts. I can feel my heart beating faster, hyped as mixed emotions of love and hate both burning on my insides.

Bodyguard Three withdraw a copy of a folded but crisp new paper from his back pocket. He handed me the paper.

“Mr. Styles, Ms. Swift filed you a temporary restraining order. You should stay at least 200 yards away from her.”

He gave me the paper. I took it and read what was written in it.

Restraining order. Why?

The feelings of love and hate suddenly subside within me. It was sadness and confusion that overtook my entire being. Why would she do that to me?

“Why?” I asked as tears unexpectedly starts to form from the sides of my eyes, still hanging not to fall for a second or so. I was left standing there like an idiot as I know that all the while, Taylor was silently looking at me behind those tinted glass of the vehicle.

XXX

I held the paper on my hand. It was lightweight and fragile yet the burden I’m experiencing right now felt three times heavier on my emotions. I choked on my soon to form tears but managed to control it so it won’t fall.

Why did the fucking fuck Taylor filed a fucking restraining order against me?

I won’t cry. I am strong. I have to get through this.

After that incident, I decided to leave the place. I also avoided George for some reasons although his four missed calls on my phone suggests that he is dying to know what the fuck happened.

I went to Rover and tossed that shit paper on the backseat. It was still early so I decided I’d better go to my pad and took a sleep.

Maybe it’s just a dream, a bad bad dream. Maybe I’m hallucinating. Or maybe I still can’t accept the fact that she’ll do something like this to me. Something I never expected.

My eyes were still moist as I tossed back and forth on my bed, unable to sleep and still thinking about the shit she did to me.

Why Taylor? Why?

Taylor fucking hates you now Harry, get that info in your head, dickhead. I was talking to myself. Bloody hell, I swear I will never cry for her at this moment and with a broken heart and confused mind, I dozed to sleep.

After a good four hours of sleeping without a dream, the weight on my shoulder seems to gain five times more. I am ticking. I must be going crazy. I went back to Rover to pick that restraining order, read it again back and forth, memorizing the order for that silly crime I just had without knowing the very reason behind it.

I told myself that I am not weak and I will not cry for Taylor.

But at the shower, I finally let it all go. I cried.

XXX

Chapter Text

Harry’s POV

“Read it.”

 I gave the copy of this siiicckkkk restraining order to none other than the most sensible one, his honourable Liam Payne.

It was late in the afternoon and I decided to spill the latest happening to my lads. If someone had to know it next to my best bud George (who I texted earlier), it must be the four closest idiot friends that I have. We were supposed to be practicing our vocals yet the issue of Taylor not talking to me was brought up so here we are, forming a magic circle with the TRO on the middle and some nacho chips.

Liam looked at me and as I nod my head, it was a signal for him to read it out loud to the other lads.

“I ask the court to order the person, Mr. Harry Edward Styles,” Liam’s eyes darted to me while I am still pouting, “To not do the following things to me: Harass, attack, strike, threaten, assault sexually or otherwise...” Liam stressed the following words one by one and it felt like a punch on my face.

Niall was wincing as every word dropped from Daddy’s mouth. Zayn, on the other hand was still cool and relaxed as ever. Louis, who was sitting beside me in this small circle just shook his head mouthing, “That is weird and rude.”

Payne continued reading the order. “ Hit, follow, stalk, destroy personal property, keep under surveillance, or block movements. Contact  either directly or indirectly, or telephone, or send messages or mail or e-mail...”

“How about a tweet? Maybe you can send her a tweet,” Niall innocently said but all our eyes glared at him saying that he’ll better shut up for now.

“Tweeting her is a very public thing to do because T doesn’t follow Haz on Twitter,” Louis snapped at Ni. “Mr. Payne, shall we proceed then?”

Liam coughed and read the rest of what’s in the letter. “I ask the court to order the person to stay at least 200 yards away from me in the places listed: My home, my job or workplace, my vehicle.”

Two hundred yards. Man, that is fucking too much. I just shook my head.

Zayn raised his eyebrow. “What?! What if you both have to attend an awards night, will that count too? Will they arrest you?”

“I don’t know,” I simply said. My head still feels fuzzy and confused to answer any of their inquiries regarding this stupid restraining order.

 “I declare under penalty of perjury under the laws that the information above is true and correct. Signed, Taylor Alison Swift.” Liam finished reading the order and he put the paper down on our mighty circle. “So... she did that. For what reason, Haz?” Liam finally inquired.

“I have no idea,” was my short response.

No one dared to speak up. The four lads were silent; everyone was analyzing the content of the restraining order and thinking about the explanation behind Taylor’s filing it. The only vague noise came from Nialler who’s munching the nacho chips that got left unnoticed on the circle.

“Did you try to call her?” Niall finally broke the silence, with small bits of beef sticking on his teeth as he spoke up. “Did you demand for an answer?”

“We haven’t talked since she left,” I explained. Since that day when she ran away to the boat and left British Virgin Islands, there was no communication that happened between us. It’s clear that she’s avoiding me. “I tried to reach her, but surprisingly, I got this fucking TRO that now commands me to stop communicating with her.”

Zayn picked the ends of his tousled hair. “That was awful, mate. So any plans?”

I shook my head. “Honestly, I don’t know what to do. My mind is tired of thinking, to be honest with you all. That’s why I am here to ask for your help, guys... I need you...”

Niall laughed at me as he stuffed some nachos on my mouth. That was sweet of him. Louis grimaced.

“We should drink,” Zayn suggested.

“No no no no!” Liam quickly protested, Daddy instincts kicking in. “Why are we drinking? Tell me, why should we drink after all? We should think about something to work out on this TRO problem right? I don’t get your point on why we need to drink.” He’s looking at Zayn who never answers back.

Here we go everyone. Presenting: the lads quarrelling.

“Zayn is saying that we should drink so H can drown his sorrows,” Louis spoke up. “Obviously, Harry is hurting. It’s hard to think of anything right now. We should let the alcohol do the rest,” his tone is somewhat sarcastic as he grinned. He and Z did the brotherly fist bump but Liam is not amazed.

“No one is drinking,” he snapped at those two. “We are going to talk about the TRO. That’s it. No drinking for now.”

Niall, on the other hand was still having a close bond with the nacho chips. “What are we going to do with Taylor? Kidnap her and make her tell the truth about this TRO shit?”

I glared at Ni.

“I am just giving a wise suggestion,” Niall fired back at me. “Make her a hostage so you can keep her forever... I know you like my idea, H. Don’t deny it.”

Louis and Zayn cracked a laugh along with a giggling Niall. I just shook my head and cover my eyes. What am I going to do with these guys? When will they ever take me seriously?

Liam is getting annoyed. “No time for jokes, everyone. This is an important matter. Who wishes to have a TRO filed against them? None. Right? ” He glanced at me. “Time to get serious, guys.”

“Okay, okay...” Louis muttered under his breath.

It was my turn to finally speak up. “So... anyone who would like to give an opinion or suggestion?”

Louis tapped the floor where the five of us sat face to face with each other. “You know what Harry, all I can say is you should just forget her. Just... move on,” he said in a deadly serious tone.

“There are many fishes in the sea,” Zayn added.

Girls. Just date someone. That’s the typical lothario Harry Styles people know.

“Erm how about a nope...” I said, disagreeing with Louis for the first time.

“What did you say?” Louis looked at me, plastered on his face was a look of annoyance. “You’re telling me you’re not taking my advice?” I pout my lips as a response and also to show him that I am quite annoyed as well.

Niall elbowed me from my side. “Are you two going to fight like a silly couple?” He laughed a little but Louis didn’t find it funny.

“I was giving you the best opinion I could think off,” Louis said, his voice raising an octave. “All you have to do is forget Taylor, find someone new and just ignore that fucking restraining order.”

“But I can’t just ignore it!” I said, shouting back. “And I can’t forget her in an instant. She’s... she’s very special to me,” my voice finally returned back to normal.

Liam stroked Lou’s shoulder. “Calm down, mate.” Niall giggled as he finished the final remaining pieces of nacho chips.

“But I’m just a jealous guy,” Ni sang a part of a famous Beatles song while still laughing, obviously teasing Louis. I glared at him.

Liam spoke up. “The main problem here is why she filed you a TRO, Harry. Let’s put that on the top of the list first, okay?” he glanced at Lou who nod back. “The best thing we need to do is to ask Taylor why she filed a restraining order against you.”

“But she won’t talk me.”

“Then it’s up for us to do it,” Liam smiled. “That’s why we are here, Haz.”

“We? As in we... four of us?” Zayn lazily asked gesturing to the other lads. “Without Styles?”

Liam nod. “Without Haz,” he answered. “Because you know, Taylor is still mad at him and we don’t know what will happen if she sees him, so it’s the four of us who had to do the job.”

“Plan 1: Make T Swift talk to us... if she wants to talk to us on the first place,” Louis said while displaying a pokerfaced look on his face.

Niall had finished eating and is now participating at our plan. “When are we going to do it? I wanna have some chitchat with her...”

His face is dreamy. Of course I knew that Niall had a huge crush on Taylor before we had an affair. He was even kinda sad when he learned about us having a relationship.

I made a face at Ni. “But don’t steal her okay?”

The Irish blonde winked at me and tapped my shoulder.

“So how exactly are we going to do it?” Zayn piped in. We all thought that he had fallen asleep out of boredom but there he is, joining the lads’ meeting.

“Even you?!” Louis shouted at Z with a disgust painted on his face.

Louis is being the annoying spoiled brat again. I rolled my eyes as Liam laughed at him. “Face it Tommo, H wants to win her back. You can’t do anything about it but support the decision of our mate.”

“And he badly needed the answer why there’s this shit on the floor,” Zayn looked at the restraining order lying on the ground.

“Thanks guys,” I chirped. What will I do if I haven’t been honest to these guys? Good thing that I opened this issue. I will finally know the reason behind the filing of this restraining order. Hopefully. “Can I get a group hug?” I added.

We all stood up and gave a group hug. Then we’re off to the plan.

A couple of minutes were spent discussing on where and when to corner Ms. Swift in order to get the answer. Liam suggested that we have to know her schedule first so we know when to execute the plan. Since it would be very awkward to ask her personally about it, we need the help of her friends.

“Who we gonna call?” I asked, wishing they would not reply me with ‘Ghostbusters’.  They looked at each other, searching for answers.

Niall volunteered and called Demi but unfortunately she was out with her other friends and cannot confirm about Taylor’s plan for the night. We are urging him to call Ellie but Niall refused.

He frowned like a kid who accidently dropped his ice cream on the ground. “We’re on a rocky situation right now, lads. Need to patch things up.” Awww... poor Nialler.

“Who else got contact from any of Taylor’s girls?” Liam the mastermind asked. Louis and Zayn shook their head. He looked at me.

I raised my hand. “I’ve got Sel’s number.”

Niall’s eyes widen. “What the fuck Harold?! You have her number?!” His hands went to my shoulders and shook me back and forth.

“Yes. I have. And stop. Don’t try to kill me mate,” I shouted as I pushed him away.

“Go call her and ask about the girls’ plan for tonight,” Liam said.

Call her? She may think that I’m flirting with her because Selena and I are not that close. I’ve got another plan on the back of my mind. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know my digits because I have three cellphones for different purposes. I dialled her number. She picked up after the fourth ring.

“Hello.”

“Hello. This is Lou Teasdale...” I said, imitating our beloved stylist’s voice. Niall laughed which sounded like a snort. Everyone else was holding their grin. I signalled them to be quiet.

Selena answered. “Oh... hi...” her voice was awkward. “What can I do for you?”

“She seems so polite,” I whispered to the lads.

“Put it on loudspeaker,” Liam suggested and I followed his order.

I gave the Lou impression once again. “Uhm... I just wanted to ask if you’re with Taylor. I just want to give her something...”

“Surely Harry Styles is not involved with this, right?” Selena said on a now somewhat bored somewhat disgusted tone. “Because Taylor will be hella mad...”

Oh shit. That’s it. Proof that she’s still hella mad at me.

“No of course not! H has nothing to do with it,” I replied in Lou’s voice. “Uhm... I just wanted to give Taylor the invitation for Lux’s birthday party. Lux misses Taylor, I hope you understand that, honey.”

“Oh... I know. She said she’s close to your daughter,” Selena said in a sweet voice. “We’ll be at Groucho at ten or eleven. Guess we’ll just meet you there?”

“Is Taylor coming? I want to personally give the invitation...” And I really really want to see her.

Selena paused. At the moment, we all presume that maybe Taylor and her girl squad were also listening to this phone conversation via loudspeaker.

Lads versus gals.

It took her a moment to answer. Maybe she got a permission first to their beloved leader, T Swift. “If there’s no Harry Styles on sight, she’ll be there.”

“Alrighty, thanks Sel. See you later.”

I ended the call. I stared at my four boys. “Well...”

Niall gritted his teeth. “Well? Well you have Sel’s number. I didn’t know that mate!”

“Wow. Taylor is still angry at you,” Liam commented on the other hand.

“Or maybe she’s thinking about the restraining order,” Zayn said. “It will sure be a commotion if you were caught by the paps being pushed by her bodyguards.”

I nod. But the plan is settled and there’s no backing up. Plus, I desperately wanted to go to the club to see her.

“So we all know that they’re going to Groucho later this evening.” I said. “Shall I go with you guys?”

“Na ah,” Louis answered.

I pouted. “But Louis! I wanted to go... Please? Pretty pretty please?” I begged him with my signature cupcake plead but he is stiff as a rock.

Niall giggled. “You can now see the look of desperation on Styles’ face. Tommo... he’s begging you now. Aren’t you gonna take it?”

Louis shook his head. Liam interrupted by suggesting, “How about you come with us... but with a disguise.”

My eyes widen. Zayn made a little laugh. Disguise? Don’t tell me that they’ll make me into Lou Teasdale. What the eff.

Niall was now laughing like an idiot. “Harry with white hair is gonna be... e-pic!” Louis and Ni did a high-five while I pouted.

“Shut up Irish kid!” I said, rolling my eyes and imitating Teasdale. Then I return to my normal voice. “So what now?”

Liam tapped the nearby table. “Just like what I said, you better wear a disguise.”

Zayn looked at his watch. “You know Haz we can help you with putting on some makeup. Time’s running and we better get going,” he said it so seriously that I laughed loudly.

“The fuck Zayn. Are you sick?!” My eyes were questioning him but I looked at his face and I can see that he’s hella serious. And so are the other lads.

Zayn signalled Liam and they both grabbed my arm. I cursed them while they hold me tightly and forced me to walk a little. Niall was in no serious mood as he tickled me for a good few minutes.

“I swear to the fucking Queen that I’ll behead you Horan!” I shouted while half-laughing and half-crying at the same time.

And what the fuck is with Zayn and Liam holding me so I can’t escape?

I saw Louis emerging from the room. I didn’t notice that he left for a while. Okay, so he left to get some props. I knew it. He came back with a pile of clothes and dropped them on the floor.

“You’re gonna wear them H. Whether you like it or not,” Lou said sassily.

My mouth dropped. These were the clothes that Harry Styles will never ever (like ever) wear. There was a chocolate brown vest, long sleeves polo shirt with blue and green striped pattern, khaki schoolboy pants, loafers. What the fook.

“The heck Lou. Where did you get all of this shit?” I said, annoyed.

Li and Zaynie were still holding both of my arms. Louis smiled, his hands were on his back hiding something.

He grinned. “Well, you’re insisting that you want to come with us tonight. But first, you have to suffer on the hands of the Swag Mastah...”

“What?!” I clearly don’t get his point.

Niall smirked. “Louis really wanted to give you a little makeover for this evening.”

A makeover. Yep, the disguise so I can be with them and see Taylor tonight. So what’s the twist?

“Then bring it on,” I said confidently. The clothes were ridiculous and I know I will look horrible but it’s kinda better than dressing up as Lou Teasdale with all those white wig and dress. If this is what it takes to win Taylor back, then I’ll gladly surrender to Louis this time.

“Alright, you said it Styles. You asked for it, and I will give it,” Louis said grinning like an evil movie character as he showed me what he was hiding on his back. It’s a hair straightener.

My eyes widen as I felt Liam and Z’s grip on me tighten. Niall was laughing. Louis will fucking iron my hair! What the fuck.

“NO. FUCKING. WAY. TOMLINSON!” I screamed. “Get that shit away from my hair!” I tried to kick the two lads but Niall holds my legs. I writhed and wiggle my shit out but I can’t escape the trio.

“Seriously, you’ll look more handsome tonight without your curls,” Lou said as he grabbed a few strands of my hair and run the wicked straightening device on to it.

“My curls! Fuck. Fuck you Tomlinson!”

“Well... fuck you too, mate!” Louis was definitely enjoying this. “It’s just a little sacrifice. You want to win her back right?”

Yes. But definitely not this way.

“Trust me Styles, you’ll be thanking me later,” Louis’ tone changed into a more serious one. He closed the hair straightener on my hair once again, temporary losing my famous curls.

“NOOOOOO!!!”

Uh oh. The night is not over, it’s just starting. And I’m praying that this night will not be a disaster.

XXX

Chapter Text

Harry’s POV

I looked like a fucking geek. Blame the Sass Mastah.

“Better,” Louis was grinning and it seems like his face will split into two because of his wide smile. He is indeed proud of his masterpiece slash makeover.

“I looked like a shit, Tomlinson! Walking shit.” I said, my teeth gritting in annoyance.

Aside from straightening my hair and styling it on an outrageous Jimmy Neutron hairdo, Tomlinson made me wear an infamous drab outfit. Just for a recap, I wore a long-sleeves polo shirt with blue and green striped pattern atop with a chocolate brown vest that’s itchy like a fuck. My bottom was a loose khaki pants (loosest jeans I wore on my life) and a matching ugly brown loafers.

Niall was also grinning. “You looked massively hot, Styles.” Then he made this loud insulting Irish hahaha laugh. I swear I will beat the living shit of Horan after this night.

I noticed the sudden disappearance of Liam and Zayn. “Where’s the two?” I asked looking from left to right. We won’t go to the club if the gang is incomplete.

“Getting some accessories... to the crime,” Louis replied.

What the eff. “Encyclopedia?” I blurted out and Lou and Niall both laugh. But that was the first thing that came into my mind yo!

“No encylopedia,” Louis assured me. He pulled out something from the back of his jeans’ pocket. I hate it when Louis pulls things like this because the last time he did, it was the hair straightener that popped out. “Anyways before I forgot, wear this.” He handed me the thing.

I looked at my palm and saw a pair of hideous big glasses that is so outdated in style. Bet it’s been forty years stuck on a wooden box on the Tomlinson’s attic.

“What for?” I asked, mildly annoyed. “You already made me a geek by letting me wear these clothes and styling my hair. Do I still need to wear this?” I tossed the thing and Niall in a swift move, had caught the glasses right before it land on the floor.

“Oh trust me Haz,” Lou said in a serious tone. “It’s those green eyes that you have to hide from her.”

My green eyes. Oh. My famous green eyes that’s been the subject on most of her songs. Now I get it.

“By wearing that, you’ll less likely to get noticed by Taylor and her friends. It will hide your green eyes... a bit,” Louis said.

“Because it’s not tinted,” Niall quipped. “Should have let him wear sunglasses Louis!” he beamed as Lou hit him playfully.

Louis groaned. “Totes on the nerdy glasses. Matches the outfit.” And he winked at Horan.

I was about to say something about why he didn’t wink at me when Liam and Zayn finally appeared, carrying what Louis described as their ‘accessory to the crime’.  It’s not a thing either, but they’re with someone. Not just two ordinary accomplice but two lovely ladies.

“Hi!” both Perrie and Sophia greeted us in chorus.

My mouth dropped open. “What the fuck are these two doing here?!” I whisper to Louis who is still grinning like a fucking Cheshire cat.

“Dates,” Niall said simply. “We’re going on a bar so they invited those two.”

“And what about me? What am I, your date?” I looked at Niall in annoyance. “And where’s El? She should also be there if that’s the case,” I shifted my gaze at Tomlinson.

Louis answered in a bored tone. “She’s busy studying for their exams tomorrow. French.”

I arched an eyebrow, somewhat not believing his excuse. I’ve known this guy for years and I know if Louis is telling a lie. “French lessons huh?”

He nod and smiled. “Bien sûr, je plaisante, vous idiot. Je veux passer la nuit avec vous. En solo.”

What the fuck. I never knew he can speak French.

“Now that is one hella good French,” Perrie piped in with all smiles on her face. Zaynie put his hand on her waist and gave her a casual kiss on her cheek.

“Shall we go?” Liam asked the group in his same Daddy/Leader tone. “Still a long ride to the bar.”

We all nod. Then I noticed Sophia looking at me intently.

Shit. Does she know it’s me? Harry Styles and not some funny looking dweeb? I elbowed Liam on his side and he blurted a sarcastic ‘Oww’.

“Excuse me but who is this handsome young man that’s with us this evening?” Soph said in a respectful manner.

When Niall heard the word ‘handsome’, I swear I heard him laugh hard... the Irish way. I stopped myself from having that urge to kick him in the face.

Sophia looks at me and I stared back.

No shit Sherlock.  She didn’t know it was me. Really? So the disguise is effective? I glanced at Perrie and she had a mixed reaction on her face, her eyebrows raised for a question.

“He’s our new PA,” Louis simply stated.

Niall hide behind me, sniggering. “Get serious even just for a fucking minute or we will all get screwed! And if that happened, I will fucking throw you on the London bridge!” I whispered to him as I gave him my Style’ death glare.

“Personal assistant?! That’s weird...” Sophia said, her eyes shifting to Liam’s gaze as if confirming the truth. Liam nod at her.

Perrie raised her eyebrows higher, I’m afraid that it will reach her forehead. “Since when?” She turned to Zayn and pinched him on his arm. “You didn’t tell me you guys get a new babysitter.”

Zayn rubbed his arm, still frowning from Perrie’s touch. “He’s just been hired yesterday by Simon.”

“What’s your name?” Sophia asked me, offering her hand. “I’m Sophia.”

Fuck. She’s asking for a name and we didn’t even thought about it. What will I say? Michael? Mitchell?

Louis answered for me. “He’s Marcel.”

Marcel. What an ugly name that matches my ugly outfit. But anyways I have to go with it. It’s just only for a night, isn’t it?

I smiled at Sophia and shake her hand. “Marcel. Pleased to meet you Sophia,” I tried to change my voice a bit and it sounded funny. Niall was still laughing behind my back.

Perrie came forward and introduced her name as well. Her eyes were still fixed on me, and I can sense that she’s not buying this whole PA thing unlike Sophia. “Nice to meet you, Marcel.” And with that emphasis on my fake my name, I knew she knew that we were all playing games.

But thank heavens that she didn’t blurt it out loud to embarrass me or the guys. Maybe because Sophia AKA the innocent one is here with us tonight.

“So shall we go now?” Payno demanded. His arms are now on Sophia’s shoulder. “I’m itching to rock the dancefloor.”

“Alright alright!” we chorused.

We all jumped to Niall’s Range Rover (so we all can fit in) with Liam taking the driving and with Mommy Soph beside him. Z and P were casually whispering. Meanwhile, our trio was squeezed at the back still talking about the plan on how to ask Taylor regarding the TRO.

Out of nowhere, Miss Little Mix shouted, “Guys, where’s Harry?” just to annoy me. I caught her smiling at me and I pouted. Never have I never gave a girl my Styles’ death glare. Only Niall and Tomlinson had been receiving it lately. Louis squeezed my knee.

“Partying.  Like always,” Niall said in an award-winning serious acting. “You know, Harry has a lot of friends other than us.” He looked at his fingers tentatively, maintaining that lost and sad puppy eyes.

Perrie gave a cough. “Marcel, take note of that. Might as well get the boys altogether if you still want your job. Sitter must secure the babies on one spot.” Zayn gave a short snigger.

Sophia said an ‘Oh’ and she looked at us saying, “Is he and Taylor still together?”

I choked. Liam made an abrupt turn and we all went slamming to the left side of the car, Niall being pressed by Louis and I. “I’m sorry!” he screamed. “Babe, would you mind if you look at the road signs? It’s dark and my eyes were not cooperating,” he said to distract his lady on asking us. The question was then left hanging, thank the good heavens. And luckily, there was no mention of it. Again.

As we arrived at Groucho, the bouncers were looking quizzically at me and won’t let me pass the line.

“Our new PA,” Louis declared sassily before the guy can even ask. “He’s my plus one,” he quipped with his usual sass before passing through the entrance.

Perrie was shaking her head. “It seems different that you guys now had a personal assistant. So is he really your baby sitter or something?” She made a nervous laugh.

“He’s cool. And so what? We need someone we can bully,” Zayn winked at P and kissed her on the cheek.

Say what say what? Bully? Me? Oh heck no, Malik. Don’t you even dare.

The couple broke out in laughter before deciding to hit the dancefloor. Li and Mommy Soph were already making the moves on the floor with that popular Usher song.

“Now where the heck is Tay and her squad?!” Louis was speaking in a loud voice as the party music drowned us. “Looks like those two forgot about the plan now that they have their ladies on their arm. Guess it’s up to Niall and I to do this shit.”

“Let’s go find Taylor,” Niall said as he followed Lou who is now busy looking at the crowd.

There were too many people on Groucho that evening. It’s jampacked with celebrities. I saw my good friend Grimmy goofing with Rita. There is Miley C rocking the dancefloor. The Kardashians and Jenners were all over the place. I even spotted Katy P and The Biebs on a distant.

And where is Taylor? She should be with Selena and her friends, waiting for ‘Lou Teasdale’ to hand her Lux’s invitation.

I squinted behind my big glasses. I need to find her.

“Haz!” Louis nudged me and pointed at the bar counter.

Oh shit.

Taylor was seated with her fellow girl friends, having drinks. I noticed that their table has a lot of empty shotglasses. Oh no. Is she drinking? What is she drinking? Tequila? Is she drunk? Selena was nowhere in sight. Ellie and one of her model girlfriend were having a chitchat while Taylor was busy sipping the pink-colored drink on her martini glass. Thank good heavens it’s not tequila.

I looked at her. Her eyes were dreamy and her cheeks were flushing red. Her long hair was somewhat messy. She’s awkwardly slumped on that high chair lightly holding her glass that can break in any minute if some asshole will surprise her for a jumpscare.

“She’s fucking drunk,” I whispered to Louis not taking my eyes off the lady that I love.

Taylor is drinking. Badly. Shit. Is it because of me? Our unresolved issue? I had never seen her drink that much.

“Niall,” Lou commanded Ni to approach the girls. He hesitated for a bit but managed to agree anyways since he’s the only one who had a connection on Tay’s circle of friends, namely Ellie Goulding.

“Hey...”Horan said, nervously walking towards the ladies and waving his hand on an awkward manner.

Ellie took notice and elbowed Taylor. “Tay...”

I saw Taylor looked up and when she saw Niall with Louis right behind him, she immediately straighten her body to sit properly. I remained a few inches behind Lou’s back glancing at her actions. She looked around, probably searching for Harry Styles’ shadow which thankfully she didn’t find, thanks to this big makeover.

Abigail, T’s bestfriend (and my nemesis, she hates me when we’re still together) suddenly spoke on her behalf. “Where’s your manwhore friend?” she screeched at Niall. Her cheeks were bright red. She’s also drunk. Mega drunk.

Louis raised an eyebrow at her. “Excuse me?!” he said. “What are you calling my mate?!”

Oh snap it Tommo. She called me a manwhore. It stung a little. I remained silent and motionless at Louis’ back. My ears were hurting as that one word keeps repeating in my head. The accusation that the media had portrayed me, and the only adjective that the people who don’t know me personally uses to describe me.

Manwhore.

“Abigail!” Taylor scolded her bestfriend. It was quite a relief seeing her defend me, even just for a little bit. She even rolled her eyes at her!

“What?!” the girl snapped back.

Taylor gave a frown at her. “I told you I don’t want to hear that word.”

“But he is a manwhore, Tay.” Abigail took a quick shot of what I presume as tequila on the shotglass she is holding. “He is a manwhore... everyone knows that. And haven’t you forgot... that dickhead broke you and hurt you so stop acting like you still care. You should be on my side.”

Louis stepped up from the soon-to-form catfight. “Ladies, I think you should all stop drinking. It’s not doing any good...” He looked at Taylor with an apologetic gaze.

Tay didn’t speak up. She stared at her pink drink then put the glass down.

“Why did you file him a restraining order?” Louis spoke so calm and collected against the drama. Taylor didn’t know that I am just here listening to their conversation.

She opened her mouth to answer but Ellie was quick to interrupt.

“Louis, please leave. It’s between Harry and Tay. And besides, it’s no use knowing the reason behind it. Your friend hurt Taylor. That’s it...”

“An ugly argument which resulted to filing a restraining order? Wow, that must have come from a difficult decision, right? Can we be more specific about what that ‘ugly argument’ is all about?” Lou’s voice was now raised. He’s not giving up.

Ellie slammed the table with her palm. “I am not giving you details, Louis.”

“I am not talking to you, Ellie. I’m talking to Taylor.”

Niall was just silently standing and looking at an angry Tomlinson and an annoyed Goulding. He glanced at me but I didn’t react. My heart was racing fast waiting for what will happen on the next minute.

Louis sighed heavily. “You’re really not lifting that order, aren’t you?” he said to Taylor whose eyes were showing that she’s wide awake now but still avoiding the issue.

“Yes,” Taylor finally spoke up. “I’m sorry Louis. But I don’t want to see him. Or even talk to him. Again.”

Ouch.

Can I cry?

Drunk Abigail had the urge to speak again despite having the alcohol consumed her whole being. “Sorry guys but she considered him dead by now. And buried.”

What the actual fuck. I have no more words to say.

“Please leave,” Taylor looked down as she spoke politely to my lads. “Or else...”

Louis raised an eyebrow. “Or else what? You’re also gonna file a restraining order for me and Niall? How mature, Taylor. How mature of you.”

Niall pulled Louis’ arm. “Hey...” he said as he tried to keep my mate calm as possible.

Louis raised his hand signalling our defeat and hopefully, the end of the conversation. “Fine. We are leaving. Have a good night, ladies.” He nudged me and Niall as we followed him leaving the bar counter. That is when the girls noticed me.

“Who’s that?” I heard Ellie’s voice.

Abigail’s voice answered back. “Dunno. Bodyguard?”

I don’t have time to listen to their shit. What’s running inside my head are Taylor’s words that will haunt me for the rest of the night.

I don’t want to see him. Or even talk to him. Again.

Manwhore. Dead. Buried.

Shit. What have I done? I don’t clearly remembered what happened at the night before our breakup. Have I done something so bad that she had to file me a restraining order?

My mind traced back at the events but I can’t really catch up. I can’t fucking remember anything. Have I hurt her? Surely there was ugly fight that happened and hurtful words were exchanged but it’s that it?

Did I hurt her? How? Verbally? Maybe. Physically? Maybe. But what if I actually did assault her that’s why she doesn’t want my presence so she filed me a TRO? What if I accidentally beat her due to drunkenness? Fuck.

“Styles!” That’s when Louis finally said it right infront of my face that reality hit me back away from daydreaming. “What now?”

“Uhmmm...” I’m in a blank space right now. I momentarily looked at my shaking fingers.

Horan joined us. “It’s epic fail, mates. She won’t talk.”

Louis sassily replied while looking at Niall. “Right. Says the guy who only said ‘Hey’ and didn’t help me execute the plan.” He glanced at me with assurance on his face. “I’m sure she will talk. Soon.”

“How?” I asked. “She won’t. Let’s face it, she hates me. She really hates me. She doesn’t want to see me anymore nor talk to me.”

Niall made a loud sigh. Louis shook his head.

“So are you waving the white flag now, Harreh?” Niall joked to lighten the mood.

Once again, Louis glared at him. Then his eyes turned to me with an apologetic look.

“I’m sorry that I lack sass today, pal. You know it’s always been awkward between me and Taylor from the very beginning...”

“I know. But I still thank you for trying,” I said to him, giving a faint smile. “I think we better go home and take a rest.”

Niall looked amused. “You sure about that mate? Not really want to grab a drink or something?”

It was the third joke from Horan and Louis had hit him hard on his arm.

“Would you just stop Neil!” Louis said in annoyance. “After our failed mission you really do think that Harry is in the mood to par-tay?!”

Oh yeah. Whatever. Insert swaggy bored face. Maybe my outfit is one of the reasons why I don’t wanna stay at this bar and party. I mean... I look hella ridiculous in these clothes. And who would dance with a geek? Or would ladies allow me to buy drinks for them? Certainly a big nope.

“Call Zayn and Liam. We’re aborting the mission,” Lou said calmly to Niall who hurriedly followed the sass master’s request. “Fuck, how will we make her spill everything? What will be our plan B?”

I shrugged. I don’t know what to do anymore, honestly. I just wanted to clear my mind for the moment. And cry, eventually.

“Maybe...” I struggled to find the right words to say. “Maybe it’s time to not give flying fucks about it.” My voice was getting shaky. “I think it’s over.”

It’s over.

Fucking over.

Move on, Harold.

Louis’ eyes soften as he touched my shoulder. “Don’t worry Haz. I know that we will know the very reason behind it. It’s just a matter of great timing,” he said, cheering me up.

I nod at him, smiling. I saw Niall with the lads coming towards us. And of course, the two ladies were also here.

“Any problem?” a concerned Sophia asks us.

“Nope, not at all,” Louis said. “I’m just discussing a few things with our PA here. Right, boys?”

Perrie gave an exaggerated pout, unconvinced as she side-eyed the four lads who were nodding their heads. They all mumbled a bored ‘Yeah’ in response.

Sophie seems interested. “What is it then?” Her clueless eyes were wondering.

“Some new rules,” I mumbled in my fake American accent. “By Simon.”

Oh shit. One minute I was lonely and now I’m into this whole pretending-as-a-geek game. Hope I can nailed it.

“What rules?” Liam spoke, eyeing at me.

“ Uhm... C-Curfew,” I stuttered as I think of words. “Yep. Simon says that all of you shall be back at the studio not later than three AM.”

Niall laughed. “What are we, kids?”

Tomlinson checked on his watch, helping me deliver this act. “Uh oh,” he says in a fake serious tone, “Lads, looks like we need to go home.”

“Oh look it’s already three,” Liam also joined us as his arms wrapped around Sophie. “Shall we go, babe?”

“Seriously, what is this?” Zayn asked, still confused at this extemporaneous acting.

I glanced at him, still being their PA. “Going out and not getting enough sleep is unhealthy. Boozing can affect your voices,” I said in an as-a-matter-of-fact tone. Oh shit, I looked and sounded like a geek. This is getting creepy.

Niall arched his eyebrow. “How?”

“It makes your voice raspy,” I stated, still mainting my high-pitched voice which is very different from my normal one. “Boys, let’s all go home or Uncle Si will kill me.” I clapped my hands like a referee or a team leader or just some hyperactive guy. Surprisingly, they all move without complaining.

I heard Liam whispered ‘What a night’ to Soph. We were behind them and I noticed a two-second smooch from Payno on her cheek.

Louis walked beside me. “Who knows you can pull off a great acting?” he whispered at me as he laughed a little. “It might come in handy, you know.”

“I do?” I asked him. I felt proud of myself.

“Yep. You’ll be a great PA,” he said at me grinning.

Behind us, Perrie suddenly asked a question. “You four got to go home and Harry is still out partying and boozing. The rules shall apply to all. How come---“

I raised my finger. “Boozing makes his voice raspy. Which is his thing.” And we are all going home P, we all are.

As Perrie nod in a forced reaction, we all laughed. We knew that she knew our game.

Although technically our mission was a disaster, there were a few laughs as well. Thanks for having Marcel, the PA tonight.

About the TRO thing with Taylor, I guessed I just have to clear my mind for a bit and don’t overthink about the situation. As Lou says, it all comes in great timing. And I am still not giving up. I know that I will have the answers soon.

And as for Louis saying that my acting is great and I can be a good personal assistant, I’ve got this crazy idea on my head on what to do when I got tired and eventually leave this popstar world.

Harry as PA? Might as well try it someday.

XXX

Chapter Text

Harry’s POV

Two weeks have passed since that hustle n’ bustle at the Groucho happened and there’s no sign of Taylor replying to all the messages I’ve sent to her (via texts, e-mails, private messages, tweets using my OTHER private account) nor Louis and the lads for their so-called plan B on tracking down the cause of my restraining order.

It was a typical Thursday and I was at home, chilling as we’ve got our three day break from our tremendous work of being a popstar. I was wearing my manbun matched with a grey pullover and black jogging pants, a not-so stylish choice compared to my bold and fierce outfits on stage. I opened my laptop and being the normal teenager that people don’t usually see, I hit the web.

After stalking a few celebrity friends on IG and messing up on Omegle with people having ‘yogurt’ and ‘YSL’ as things we both like, I decided to now hit MS Word and go a bit nerdy and tried to write something. That something was the thing that was running on my head, and yes, it’s about Taylor. 

Her. Again. What the fook am I thinking? Maybe a cute little poem or a nice song will do. But wouldn’t it be great if I wrote her a letter?  

So yeah, here I am slouching at the couch with my laptop, staring blankly at the clean new document with that little cursor blinking at me. It had been thirty minutes and the blank page was begging for me to spit my ideas on it and type a message for Taylor.
What will I fucking type?

Since that silly TRO was still bugging the hell out of me, I decided to go typical Styles and asked her about it. My long fingers worked on the keyboard.

“Dear Taylor, I know that you don’t want to talk to me anymore and given the massive amounts of messages I’ve sent to you and all of them were unanswered and ignored, I decided to write you a letter for the very last time. I’m hoping that you’ll get to answer this soon  because I wanted to clear some things up, some things that would work better on a sit-down conversation which I know that you will decline on the first place that’s why I’m writing this shit. Right?”

I coughed. This letter is fucking awful. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just crazy. I proceed to type again.

“So I wanted to ask you this because it’s giving me sleepless nights and I’m predicting that my hair will turn straight if I will never know the answer to the greatest Styles-Swift enigma of this moment... WHY THE FUCK DID YOU FILE ME A FUCKING RESTRAINING ORDER YOU CRAZY CAT LADY???!!! Ooopsie... sorry for shouting, my bad. You should at least, at the very least gave me a ring about it or Louis, in case you find me tad annoying and don’t want to talk to me so he can explain it to me afterall, or it would be much better if you should have at least go to my place and slapped that fucking paper infront of my face while  explaining why you did it, at least I will not be surprised by the sudden appearance of your two bodyguards which are secretly professional wrestlers on disguise who made me look like a lightweight doll as they carry me to avoid going near beside you. You should have told me what went wrong between us, if you’ve had enough of my assholeness or douchebaggery or dickheadment, I know I’m making words because why the fuck not. Right? You should have at least informed me so I would know. You know what, I feel stupid, I feel like an idiot chasing the stars not knowing what the fuck cause you to file it. If it’s about THAT night, then I’m sorry, I can’t let go of that addicting taste of that absinthe and God-knows-what-else-did-I-bloody-take  and I got fucking drunk and mostly don’t remember anything that happened other than the fight we had. Did I hit you? Did I fucking cheated? Taylor, I’m drunk, I’m clueless and I’m an asshole for forgetting but I am also sorry. I am really sorry for what I’ve done and for what happened that made you extremely mad at me. Please let me talk to you, even for one last time...”

My fingers played with my tiny bun. I typed the last line. “Then we can fix this mess and we can all move on. Sincerely, H.”

I stared at the blinking cursor again when a familiar shout on my ear made me jumped out of the chair.

“HAROLD! How poetic!”

I looked at my sister smiling brightly at me.

“Gem...” I said in a disgusted tone as I scratched my head. I hit the Backspace button way too hard until all the words I typed had gone. The little black cursor blinked at us in the neatly clean page. “How long have you been there?” I asked with one eyebrow up.

She smiled sheepishly. “Since... ‘Dear Taylor’...” She laughed a little and tapped my shoulder as I made an exaggerated pout like a five year old kid. “H, what’s with the TRO? Is it true?” Her face now holds a serious expression.

“Nope.” I quickly answered but she already figured out that I was not telling the truth. Even though I tried to hide it, my sister knows every nerve and bone of my body.

“We can sit and talk about it if you want to,” her big smile was now replaced with a faint and genuine one. “I didn’t know that you and Taylor had a fight.”

I let out a sigh. “I’m fine Gem. There’s no need to worry about me.” I flashed him my all-teeth smile, the one I always used to do on class pictures way back on my kiddie days.

It was Gemma’s turn to display her exaggerated pout. “You need a break, bro. You seem a little exhausted.”

“Hmmm?”

“You need to take a deep breath, relax and smell the flowers, and go to places to take your mind off her.” She smiled as she pulled the band that holds my immaculate manbun. In an instant, my long hair was down. She stroked my curls. “Let your hair loose.”

I smiled. She’s right, I need a break. This entire TRO thing had me worrying every night and thinking about it is killing my soul. I am exhausted. 

“My baby bro’s all grown up and now he’s worrying about the wonders of being in love. I remembered when you were just a kid and that you used to cry when you always drop your ice cream cone because you are so clumsy.” Gemma was being that silly loveable sister again. “Now look at you,” she said holding my chin.

I jokingly put a mad face. “Shut up, Gem. Not in the mood for throwback today."

“We need to visit Lou,” she suggested, her idea bulb shining brightly. And when she says Lou, it’s Teasdale and not Tommo. “It’s been ages that I don’t see this girl and I missed having conversations with her.”

“I know. Like you two are... inseparable,” I joked.

Lou has been a very close friend of mine. Aside from being our stylist guru, she’s also become my confidante and Gem’s partner-in-crime (add Lottie Tommo and they will become the Trinity). Maybe I can ask for Teaso’s advice. She can explain things from a girl’s perspective and I guess she can help me interpret Tay’s actions and what she had been thinking all this time.

Gemma checked her nails. “Maybe we should try ombre nails. Have you seen that H? The rainbow colored nails? It’s so cool.”

“You can do all the girly nail thing,” I said swatting an invisible fly on the air. “I’m going to mind my own business.” 

“And what about you? We can paint your nails if you want...” She playfully smiled at me.

“Nah, I’mma go babysit Lux,” I replied. “I miss that kid.”

Baby Lux, she is my child bestfriend and goddaughter. She joined me and Tay on a walk to Central Park back then.  She really liked Taylor and they used to bond even after that event. Taylor would buy her goodies, chocolates and some toys and made me give it to Lux and the kid really appreciated it. They used to talk to phone every now and then. Lux is one of the few people who can see that we are perfect to be together. She even dubbed Taylor as her Mommy Number 2. 

“Harold! Hello?” Gemma snapped at me as I daydreamed. “Are we going or not?”

I stood up. “Oh sure we are. Manbun or not?” I smiled cheekily.

She shook her head while pouting, disagreeing with my manbun style. “Wait...” my sister stopped for a while and glanced at the open blank document on my laptop.

“What about your---“

“Nah, forget it,” I said with a nervous laugh. I can’t believe Gemma still remembered it. “I was just... playing. You know.” Damn. I couldn’t find the right words for my excuse.

Gem eyed me, not believing her brother again. “Chill, my dear Harold.”

I sighed. “Yeah. I know.” I am now officially aborting this mission to write Taylor a letter. 

After grabbing my coat and my beanie, Gemma’s arms wrapped around mine. She’s very sweet and all. I am just lucky to have a sister like her, very caring and supportive.

“H?”

“Hmmm?” I looked at her, clueless. She’s got twinkling eyes and her mouth wears a beaming smile.

“About the loveletter...” she began.

Oh shit. Not again, Gem. She really would not stop talking about the ‘Dear Taylor’ e-mail incident that happened.

“What about it?” I posed a very stiff, bored, I-don’t-fooking-care-at-all look on my face.

She flashed her teeth, smiling at me. “Just so you know, you can continue writing the letter at Lou’s house.”

My eyes darted at her, wide and amused. I felt a strange sensation on my stomach, something tells me to go and continue writing the letter for Taylor.

Gemma’s face changed in a sisterly look. “While snail mail is not very common nowadays due to the fast-paced society and social media being popular, we girls do appreciate if our man has an effort to write one.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Go literally write Taylor a letter,” she said in an overwhelmed tone highlighting ‘literally’. “Lux can help you. She has a set of colourful stationeries. Be creative.”

I smiled. It’s nice to have an intelligent sister. And with Gem’s suggestion, we’re off to go to Teasdale’s House of Fashion and Glam and Cute Baby Named Lux.

XXX

Lux was sitting on my torso and pulling my face with her small hands.

“Hawwy... I miss you! Daddy 2!” she said in her cute little voice filled with excitement as she plays with my face.

That’s it. I am her Daddy Number 2. Mommy Number 2’s better half according to Lux.

Lou Teasdale was watching us and laughing real hard. Both she and Gemma were sitting on the floor with their set of powerful manicure tools scattered all around, while me and Lux were casually hanging at a nearby large couch.

“Harry is so cute. Right, baby?” Lou said to her daughter which is a sign for the little child to pull again my cheeks.

“My face is going to split. It hurts, I swear,” I mumbled as Lux continued playing with my face, now going to the sides of my mouth.

Gemma blurted a loud laugh as her nail file flew at a distant. “That kid has strong hands, H. Yeah, make his mouth bigger, Lux.”

“But it’s wide already...” I jokingly frowned.

The ladies continued their nail art thing as Lux and I had our little playtime. She finally let go of my face after I attempted to sound like Mr. Krabbs and said that I’m going to eat her little fingers. She half-shouted and half-laughed at the same time. Lux really likes it when I tried to change my voice to sound like cartoon characters. It was my secret special talent that only a few people knew.

“I’m hungry Hawwy,” Lux said while looking at her little fingers now tired from pulling my face. 

“What does Lux wants to eat?”

“Anything my Daddy 2 will prepare for me.”

She let out a giggle as I tickled her sides before bringing her down from my torso.

Teasdale and Gem were discussing about the intricate watermelon design they are going to do on their nails when I interrupted them with a question on what food is available at Lou’s fridge.

“She likes peanut butter and jelly,” Lou said as Lux and I went to the kitchen. She was holding my hand, her small one contrasting to my large palm.

I playfully carried Lux and sit her on a chair as I searched on the fridge for the spreads.
Out of nowhere, Lux asked me. “Where’s Mommy 2?”

I looked at her, her eyes full of wonder. She’s just too innocent and saying about the truth kinda felt a slight pain on my chest. It’s like we’re the real parents and telling our child that we got a divorce plan on the way.

“Hawwy...” Lux said in a small voice as I avoided her gaze and focused on the sandwich. I don’t want to cry infront of this kid.

“Oh you’re hungry now, sweetie? Waity wait, Daddy still making the PB&J...” I tried to lighten the mood by saying it in a somewhat high-pitched voice. I opened the container that holds the jelly and starts spreading it on the sides of the bread.

Lux grabbed the ends of my curls. “Where’s Mommy 2?"

“Hmmm...” I pretended not to hear her as I licked the jelly off my finger. “This is so so good!”

“I want Mommy Taylor!” Lux finally shouted at me before putting a big grimace on her face. She’s quite annoyed by me ignoring her attempts at questioning the whereabouts of her second mom. “Tell me where’s Taylor or I will not talk to you forever Hawwy.”

I looked at her. Shit. I’m not good at lying, especially to children. I lightly touched the blonde hair of this small kid, looking at her lovely eyes. Damn. How do I get to do this? How do I get to explain to her that Taylor apparently hated me now and has considered me dead and buried? Well, that was according to her bestfriend Abigail.

My green eyes never left Lux’s orbs. “She’s busy, Lux. You know her situation. Just like Daddy 2, Mommy is one busy person.”

Mommy. Wow. I called her Mommy. That escalated quickly.

I spread the peanut butter spread on the center of the bread. Once finished, I gave it to Lux. She didn’t eat it immediately and just stared at it.

“You don’t like it Lux?” I asked her and when she looked up, I saw her eyes glassy, as if she’s going to cry. “Why? What’s wrong?” I inquired.

She looked at me. “Does Mommy 2 hates me Hawwy?”

“No! Of course not!” I momentarily hugged this little kid. “Why would she hate you? You’re one lovely kid.” 

Oh dear Lux, it’s me that Mommy Taylor hates. She doesn’t want to see me or talk to me again.

“Why doesn’t she visit me anymore?” she said, still refusing to eat the sandwich I prepared and still not letting me go of the hug.

I stroke Lux’s blonde mass of hair. “You miss Mommy don’t you?”

She made a nod and by this time, she let go of my hug. The ignored sandwich was now on her hands and she took a small bite on it.
I smiled. “How’s your sandwich?”

She smiled back and gave a thumbs up. Her mouth took another bite, bigger this time and she chewed hungrily on it.

“Hawwy... when will I see Mommy 2 again?” she curiously asked. 

This time, I felt the need to lie again to this kid. I have no choice. I have to.

I posed a smiling face. “Soon. Very soon. Mommy Taylor likes to surprise people, including you, Lux. No wonder she’ll get to see you sometime next month.”

This made Lux very happy and I felt a relief from my chest. Lux is way too young to accept the fact that me and Taylor had a fight. But it is the reality, this is how we were now. Daddy 2 and Mommy 2 were not in good terms anymore. Mommy 2 hates me. Mommy 2 filed a TRO so how the fuck is she supposed to visit Lux when I’m always beside this kid? No more Central Park walking. No more strolling around with our Baby Lux. No more. Mommy 2 and Daddy 2 will never be together again.

I felt the small fingers tugging one of my curly locks. “Hawwy... you want some?”
Oh. She definitely had moved on from the topic.

“Sure.” I playfully closed my eyes and opened my mouth and felt Lux’s fingers as she shoved a big amount of sandwich on my mouth. I choked. I opened my eyes and that’s when Lou popped her head on the kitchen area to check us.

“I thought you are going to make two more for me and your sister,” she said walking towards us. Lou gave a small tap on my tummy and I made my signature pout.

Lux beamed in delight. “Mommy! Hawwy made me a delicious sandwich!”

“That’s great!” Lou said and she kissed her lovely daughter on her cheek. Her eyes glanced at me, obviously waiting for the sandwich.

I grabbed a piece of bread and start working on my expertise. “Alrighty, so how’s your nail art thing going on?”

Lou stared at her nails and I caught a glimpse on some intricate designs. “I decided to go with the watermelon, Gem had the popsicle one.”

“Popsicle? You girls are so... vain,” I said.

“Who’s vain?”

Gemma was suddenly on the kitchen place too. “Hey! Sandwich!” she excitedly grabbed the first one that I’ve finished preparing for Lou. She took a big bite. “Oh Harold... this is good.”

I smiled, showing my white teeth. “I’m a manwich chef, remember?”

“You should really marry, you know. Your wife can live just by your sandwiches,” Gem said jokingly, almost choking.

Lux giggled and Lou gave a slight shake on her head, still waiting for her turn to have a sandwich.

“Hey,” I said changing the subject, “Do you guys know the legend of the peanut butter jelly sandwich?”

Gemma glared at me. “Not again, Harold!”

She looked at Teaso apologetically. “He narrated that story almost a hundred times on different occasions. I don’t wanna hear it anymore, please.”

“Never heard of it,” Lou shrugged her shoulders then looking at her child she asked her. “Lux do you wanna hear it?”

“Of course!” Lux said in a delight. Gemma facepalmed herself then covered her ears in an exaggerated manner.

I cough. This was my cue to start my pointless story of the legend of PB&J. “Okay. I’ll make this short. Once upon a time, there was a couple who loved each other so much. The girl has light caramel locks and the guy has his plum-colored hair. Their parents were against their relationship that they decided to run away, more like the Romeo and Juliet story.”

“So they didn’t end up with each other?” Lou curiously asked. “No happy endings for the couple?”

I shook my head and maintained my serious tone as I continue the story. “Although they did love each other, they still died at the end. Their parents followed them and they end up in a car crash, the vehicle they were riding at was... sandwiched between two trailer trucks.”

Lou nod her head.”Sandwiched... Interesting.” Gemma rolled her eyes.

“But the greatest mystery of that is the name of the couple,” I stated in a smart tone. “It is later revealed which then became the reason why the legend of the sandwich was born.”

Gemma frowned. “Who’s leaving? Because I am. Now.” But her feet remained motionless, waiting for me to shot the climax of the story like she’d seen me do it to others for a hundred times or so.

I looked at Lux then to Lou. “So... do you know the names of the lovers?” I asked them, serious at first but finally breaking into a short laugh afterwards.

“Nope,” Lou shook her white bob of hair, giving up. “What’s their names?”

I counted three seconds before giving my answer and the end of the story that Gemma had heard for a couple of times.

“Phoebe and Jay.”

I broke down laughing on my own as Lou gave a dissatisfied grin on her face. Lux who is clueless about all these fuzz just sit there looking at the three adults with different reactions on their faces.

“Seriously,” Teasdale said in a serious tone, “Why are you so good in telling all those lame jokes, Harold?”

“That’s not lame!” I protested. 

Gemma gave her exaggerated annoyed face. “Get outta here, Harold!”

We all laughed as we exited the kitchen area. I carried Lux on my arms as we went to the living room. Gemma is now holding a stack of colourful papers.

Stationeries. Holy crap. I just forgot about the main purpose of why we’re here, aside from nail art, babysitting and lame storytelling.
Gemma had the stack of papers and jokingly slammed it on my chest.

“There you go brother, write the ‘Phoebe and Jay’ thing on it, maybe she’ll have a laugh...”
I glared at Gem and she put her tongue out.

My eyes shifted to Lou who is staring back at me. Her gaze was telling me that she already knew what happened between me and Tay, a thing that Gemma may have told her during their nail art session.

I picked up a baby blue colored stationery with the intricate lace border design. Gem was now playing with Lux.

“So... any advice?” I whispered to Teaso.

She hesitated for a moment, her eyes staring at her watermelon nails. When she finally collected her thoughts, she looked at me. “I always knew that you and Taylor will be perfect for each other. I know the pressure you two are feeling under the scrutiny of the media and the fans. The thing is, if you still want to get her back, you just have to be sincere, H.”

I blinked at her. Then my eyes looked at the piece of paper.

“You don’t have to convince her to like you again or to have your relationship go for a second chance. It’s her decision. All you have to do is be sincere and just tell her everything you want to tell her on the first place. Man up.”

“Whether it’ll end up in us... being not together again?”

Lou Teasdale nod. “All you have to do is take a risk, H.”

“I do take a risk when I first asked her out. I mean, she’s Taylor Swift and me? I’m just one-fifth of a band.”

“But she likes you. And she said yes.”

I sighed. “But everything is different now, Lou. Everything has changed.”

She smiled, giving a good tap on my shoulder. “That’s why you’re taking a risk once again. Express your feelings via this letter and we’ll see what will happen.”

There was a relief from my chest once again.

“Awww, thank you Lou.”

“As always, Styles.”

Lux was tugging my shirt. I looked at her and she was holding this big purple crayon.

“Hawwy... you’re writing a letter for Mommy Taylor?” When I said yes, Lux screamed in excitement, and she’s eager to give her ideas on how shall I be creative on designing that blue paper.

Gemma leaned to me. “Just an idea, why don’t you give it to her personally?”

“But I have a restraining--- nevermind. I am taking a risk!” My voice was quite loud and determined  this time. “I’ll just go to her studio later. She has voice rehearsals today.”

Gem smiled. I scattered all those writing paraphernalias on the floor with Lux beside me. She’s insisting me to use this big orange crayon but I opt to use a metallic gel pen, despite her persistence. It’s easier to write using a pen than a crayon.

Shit. I am writing her a love letter. Or more like an apology letter. Or not. An inquiry letter perhaps, still questioning her motives about this TRO shit. Whatever it is, I am going to put my heart on the content of this letter and I really do hope that I will get a reply this time.

I wrote ‘Dear Taylor’ on the first line, followed by phrases that were running on my head. Take a risk. Write what you’re feeling at that moment. 

After finishing the letter, I still had this mighty adrenaline to write so I grab another stationery, a white one and this time, instead of writing a letter I put the words ‘I Love You’ on the center of the top page.

And the words flow endlessly on my pen as I felt again the hint of pain on my chest as I write a cute poem or song or whatever it is.

I feel in love with a beautiful girl and she still takes my breath away...

The rest is history.

XXX

A/N: Hello everyone. Yes it's already 2022 and it's been years since I last updated this story (got a few chapters posted ahead on Wattpad). So many things happened to me that made me thought of not writing again but here we go... after watching Haylor clips again and reading the few chapters I've written, I felt a genuine happiness inside of me. I guess my passion on writing still stays on my blood. So yeah... I'm planning on continuing this story once again. But please be patient because I have to write more and I write slow. Yeah that's it. Thank you all and have a nice day.