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Chapter Text

Kuroo was contemplating whether to kill or praise his best friend right now. Bokuto was actually friends with a really hot person. That really hot person was sitting across him in a café, alone, because Bokuto apparently had to go to the "bathroom." He was either taking a really long shit and/or he ran out of toilet paper (again) or intentionally ditched them because he knew Kuroo had this huge crush on Bokuto's best friend, schoolmate, and volleyball teammate, Akaashi Keiji. Akaashi Keiji was that really hot person sitting across him in a café. 

There was an awkward atmosphere between the both of them, Kuroo nervously sipping his coffee, stealing quick glances from Akaashi. Kuroo waited for Bokuto, if he does come back (though Kuroo already knew that bastard was never coming back), Kuroo was going to murder him with the spork on the table. Akaashi quietly read a book in peace, drinking pure black coffee (which Kuroo found terrifyingly hot and wondered if Akaashi was actually a human being.) Kuroo looked around the café. It was a Saturday and the three of them had no volleyball practice so Bokuto decided "why don't the three of us hang out?" Which was odd considering Bokuto almost always hung out with only one of the two of them, mostly Akaashi, and the latter never being invited to their rendezvous considering Kuroo had his own best friend to hang out with, Kenma Kozume. Speaking of that faux blonde haired boy, it was originally going to be the four of them hanging out, including Kenma, but he refused, stating he was "busy". 

"It looks like Bokuto isn't coming back..." Kuroo tried to strike up a conversation after 50 minutes of waiting for Bokuto. 

Akaashi looked up from the book he was reading, staring at Kuroo. "It would seem so." He replied, monotonous and turned his head to where the bathroom was. "It's shocking to know he might've actually thought of escaping through the back entrance. It isn't like him to be that very sly." That was probably longest sentence Akaashi has ever said, to Kuroo at least.

"When do you think he's going to realize he left his wallet and phone behind?" Kuroo joked and he swore he saw Akaashi's lips twitch upwards. That was probably Kuroo's greatest achievement ever and he was so going to tell Kenma and everybody else that he, Kuroo Tetsurou, made Akaashi Keiji smile, even if it was just slightly.

"Yes, well since he isn't here, do you want to go somewhere else? I'll take Bokuto-san's things and give it to him some other time." Akaashi asked, putting money on the table. Kuroo didn't complain, he didn't have any cash on him at the moment anyways. He was caught off guard by Akaashi's question. Them, going somewhere, just the two of them. Kuroo almost forgot to answer.

"Uh, sure. Where do you want to go?" He stared at the other nervously. He tried to act like his usual cool self but his stomach twisted in so many knots, his stomach was going to burst. 

"The park, maybe? We could go somewhere else if you'd like, Kuroo-san." Akaashi replied, being the polite person he is.

Kuroo tried to read Akaashi's current expression but of course, Akaashi always had an emotionless expression on his gorgeous face. "The park is fine." Kuroo grinned at Akaashi. He mentally fist bumped the air, he was finally going on a sorta-date with his crush.

Chapter Text

Kenma opened the door only to his idiot of an accomplice. "You aren't the mailman," he didn't hide the disappointment in his tone, "or the pizza delivery," Kenma added, frowning a whole lot more.

"What are you- don't even bother, I don't wanna know. Anyways, I did what you told! They're probably all over each other right now." Bokuto grinned, waiting for praise. Unfortunately, he just got a look of shame and a look a person would give an idiot from Kenma.  

"It isn't that simple, Bokuto-san. And give me your wallet, those cameras cost a lot when they're custom made, you know."

Bokuto fumbled through his pockets but came empty-handed. "Uh- about that..."

"Please don't tell me you left your wallet back at the café too." Kenma groaned softly, bringing his hand to his forehead. He really should've picked somebody else on getting his best friend a relationship and get laid.

"I forgot, okay?! At least I got them alone together and purposely left my precious phone behind, right?" Bokuto pouted. It's still a shock to Kenma Bokuto Koutarou is one of the best aces in Japan and yet, he still has the mentality of a five-year-old.

Kenma sighed, clearly tired of the child inside of an 18-year old's body.

"Anyways," Bokuto added, "why did I have to leave my phone behind and what are these cameras? Don't leave me in the dark! I'm working with you and doing all of the footwork here! I deserve to know all about the plan!" He whined so loudly, Kenma wonders how Akaashi keeps up with him.

"Fortunately, I knew you were going ask that. I ordered the cameras so we can see Kuroo-san and Akaashi-san's relationship in progress today. I applied the cameras to your phone back cover so appreciate the fact I spent money on designing your phone's cover. They probably won't notice the camera or care because they're designed as owl eyes and it's obvious you have a weird obsession for owls," that made Bokuto hoot, hurt and offended, but Kenma ignored him and continued, "even if either one of them, mostly likely Akaashi, puts your phone in his pocket, we can still hear their conversation. We can see and, or, hear what they're doing and saying on my computer." Kenma finished explaining. Surprisingly, Bokuto understood and didn't ask any idiotic questions, much to Kenma's relief.

"Well... are you just going to let me stand here all day?" Bokuto asked after a few minutes of silence, raising a brow. For once, Bokuto made a point.

Kenma realized that they were talking outside and he opened the door wider for Bokuto, the latter walking in.

"By the way, my parents are out of town for a week." Kenma closed the front door, watching Bokuto closely as he looked around.

Bokuto finally sets his gaze on Kenma and he grinned. "You're making it sound like we're dating secretly."

"I'm going to kick you out any second." The second-year deadpanned, he seriously wasn't in the mood for Bokuto's shit.

"I was just joking!"

It took a long time for the two to stop arguing and realize what they were actually supposed to be doing and they both hurried into Kenma's room.

"This is so cool! We're like spies!

Kenma opened his laptop and the only thing they could see was Akaashi, talking.

"It would seem so... It's shocking to know he might've actually thought of escaping through the back entrance. It isn't like him to be that very sly." 

Bokuto hooted once again, hurt that his best friend actually indirectly called him an idiot, which he was. Kenma shushed Bokuto once again and he surprisingly did this time.

"When do you think he's going to realize he left his wallet and phone behind?"

"Oh my god did Akaashi just smile. He never smiles when I'm around and I'm his best friend in the whole entire world!" Bokuto's whines with his signature 5-year-old pout and Kenma smacks the back of his head, tired of the third year's complaints. "So abusive, Kenma-kun!"

"I would careless if I got arrested for child endangerment, Bokuto-san." Kenma replied quietly.

Before Bokuto could ask Kenma if he was just called a child, Akaashi started talking again.

"Yes, well since he isn't here, do you want to go somewhere else? I'll take Bokuto-san's things and give it to him some other time."

Bokuto and Kenma fell silent, silently fist bumping without even looking at each other or arguing. Mission accomplished. 

Next mission: get Kuroo and Akaashi laid