Archive of Our Own ^beta

In our final year of middle school, Haru became a girl.

It was on a normal morning sometime between the transition of spring and summer when Haru suddenly collapsed on our way to school. He was sent to the hospital and was hospitalised there. For the entire duration from then until the end of summer break, I didn't hear anything about him or his condition. It made me very worried, and what made it worse was that I was told that no one was allowed to visit him. All I could do was to pray for him and hope that he would recover quickly, but they did nothing to quell the heavy feeling in my heart.

When word came that Haru had returned home, it was already the last week of summer break.

I went straight to his house to check up on him immediately after receiving the news, only to find out that my childhood friend is now female, at least biologically.

Emergence—that is the way in which the world and society maintain their male-to-female ratio. When there are too few females, some males would undergo change and become females. However, as it is a taxing process in which the body may be unable to withstand, the mortality rate is high. Despite this, cases like these are not uncommon. However, it usually happens to young boys and quite rarely in the adolescent years.

Haru's parents came over that night and explained everything to my parents, who agreed to watch over her in their stead. After we were done talking and had dinner at my place, Haru stayed for a while longer while her parents headed home first to prepare to return to the city the next day, as they could not afford to take that much time off work.

She made herself comfortable on my bed, sitting with her back against the wall and curled up into a ball with her forearms tucked under her knees.

"Makoto? What is it? Is there something on my face?"

"No, it's nothing."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah."

"... You must be shocked by all this, I suppose."

"Well, I can't deny that. Do you want to play a game? I just got this one at the beginning of summer break."

"... Sure."

The biggest change that struck me most would be regarding Haru's voice. It was still slightly deep but had become unmistakably one of a female's. I mean, in terms of appearance the change is also evident—Haru's ebony hair had grown out and now reached mid-back, and her body has those womanly curves at all the right places... and well, as awkward and embarrassing it is for me to say this, but Haru also has boobs now.

I had to admit that I was surprised by all this, but that was all I could be. I mean, the change is supposedly just on a biological and physical level. The fact that she has changed this much, at least in appearance, does not change the fact that this person was my best and closest friend whom I spent almost my entire life with.

However, as time passed, I realised that it was not only Haru's appearance that had changed.

When summer break was over, Haru returned to school. She chose to continue as a girl and wore the girls' uniform. Unfortunately, not everyone accepted the news of Haru's emergence as readily as my family and the teachers in our school did. However, no matter what kind of words they spouted at her, Haru simply ignored them. Or at least, she tried to and did to most of them. There were times, however, when I would catch sight of her hands balling into fists and trembling slightly, as she did her best to keep everything in. 

Haru's personality... at least before emergence was such that he would not let others affect him. I knew that Haru's pride would not allow her to rely on anyone or show weakness, but I decided to support her no matter what happens; this is something that I had made clear to her.

"Haru? I was looking for you. Why are you up here on the rooftop? Aren't you cold?"

"No... not really."

"At least put on a scarf or something; it won't do you good if you catch a cold. The weather has been getting chilly out of late."

"I don't have one."

"I'll lend you mine, then."

"I can always wait until Christmas."

"Yeah, I'll be sure to get you one."

"... Makoto?"

"Yeah?"

"... Never mind, it's nothing."

"..."

"Let's get back to class; the next lesson is going to start in five minutes."

"Haru, is there something bothering you?"

"!!"

"You know... if you feel like talking or you need someone, you don't have to hold back with me. You know I have always been by your side and I'll always be. If you don't feel like talking, don't force yourself; I'll understand."

"... Thank you, Makoto. Then allow me to ask something of you."

"Sure, go ahead."

"You're free tomorrow, aren't you? Accompany me into town. I wanted to get a swimsuit or three since I definitely can't use the ones I previously did."

"O-Or three?!"

Ah, at least this part of Haru that loves water hasn't changed.

But sometimes I wonder if I have changed as well.

I know that Haru wouldn't like it if I suddenly changed the way I behave around her just because she has changed, and I don't really see that Haru has changed that much.

Or maybe that was just something I tried to convince myself of because it seems that Haru noticed that there have been differences in the way I behaved around her; something I myself had failed to realise. Perhaps it was because the notion that Haru is now female had hit me so hard, the way I see and think of her might had changed without me even noticing.

But how do you expect me to enter the bathroom the way I used to when she's inside?!

"Haru! I brought some dishes my mom made! I'll leave them on the kitchen counter, so reheat them later when you're hungry! I'll be going now!"

"Hold on, Makoto."

"Uwah! Ha-Haru?! You shouldn't just open the door like that without putting your clothes on first!"

"I have my swimsuit on; it's not like I was naked. You know that better than anyone."

"Don't phrase it in such an uncouth manner!"

"That aside, you could have entered to tell me instead of raising your voice the way you did. Only an idiot would stand at the bathroom door and yell his lungs out."

"But you can't expect me to just enter like that…"

"I told you that it's fine, didn't I? I would have locked the door if it wasn't."

"Even if you're fine with it, I'm not!"

"Don't be such a chicken."

"It's a matter of modesty! Haru, you're a girl now, and you should act like—"

"Makoto. Enough. Shut up."

That was the first time I've ever seen Haru so angry at anyone or anything. She threw me out of her house  promptly after that, and she refused to see or speak to me after that, completely avoiding and ignoring me. Even when I try to apologise, she would refuse to hear me out. Needless to say, I did not receive any reply to the all the calls I had made and mail I had sent.

I knew it was my fault; I said things that I shouldn't and had accidentally hurt her. I had not realised how she must have felt when I was rattling on and had failed to notice the signs of her discomfort and displeasure. I felt much worse after my mother asked why we hadn't been getting along out of late.

Many people say that I know Haru the best, especially since we had always been together. But after her emergence, I began to have doubts.

Is the Haru who is here now still the same Haru I had known?

The appropriate answer should be yes, but I am still unsure of what my answer really is.

Haru has always been an important person to me. We were always together, so it felt natural to be in each other's company and it is something that had been taken for granted. It is only now that Haru has shut me out of her life that I had realised this.

After having failed to reconcile with Haru, I decided it would be for the best to give her some time to cool off and calm down. Haru was never the unreasonable sort of person unless it came to decent-sized bodies of water, so I decided to wait until she would be willing to forgive me.

Two weeks passed without a single bit of contact with Haru.

By then, I was worried to the point that I had fallen sick. Well, it was just a cold that usually came with the winter and was nothing to worry about. However, I was unable to attend school for the two days I had a fever.

Much to my surprise, Haru came over, but she didn't come here only to drop off the notes and assignments for the day.

Imagine the surprise I had when I woke up to find her at my bedside.

"Ha…ru?"

"Makoto? You're awake?"

"Haru…? Am I dreaming, or am I hallucinating?"

"What nonsense are you spouting, Makoto? I'm right here."

"No, this has to be a dream. There's no way Haru can be here now, sitting next to my bed and holding my hand. Not after I said something so terrible and insensitive and made you mad at me."

"It's fine now, I've already forgiven you."

"Really? I'm glad!"

"… What's with that grin?"

"Nothing much; I was just thinking how nice it is to have Haru by my side again. It was really unbearable and strange to not be with you all the time. Knowing how you really are, I was afraid that you'd stay mad at me forever. It's a pity that this isn't real. But it's strange, how even though this is just a dream, it doesn't feel like one."

"I suppose that's your fever talking, so I'll just ignore that last bit. How are you feeling?"

"Happy, now that you're by my side."

"I didn't mean that."

"Say, Haru…"

"What is it?"

"Haru, I think I'm in love with you."

"…! What nonsense are you spouting, Makoto?"

"Y'know, Haru… during this time that we were separated… I thought of many things. After that I came to realise how precious you were to me, and that you already had a special place in my heart since a long, long time ago, ever since we were children. That's why now I'm sure of these feelings, which cannot be anything but love."

"Makoto, you have to be mistaken."

"I'm not."

"I was male."

"Did it matter?"

"You're just confused about your feelings because I emerged. If I didn't turn into a girl, you wouldn't have those feelings."

"That's not true!"

"Then… if I were to revert back to being male, would you be sure that these feelings of yours would still be the same?"

"I'm sure of it. It doesn't make a difference if you are male or female… as long as you are 'Nanase Haruka', the person I grew up with who loves water and mackerel, my feelings would never change. That's why I'll ask this of you, Haru: will you go out with me?"

I don't recall what Haru's answer was or what had happened after that, but it was really embarrassing when I realised that it really wasn't a dream and I had blurted all of my true feelings out. Being in a feverish stupor was no excuse, either.

But I'm glad, as things with Haru got better since then. 

We graduated from middle school and went on to high school. Although there were quite a few people from our middle school attending the same high school as the both of us, none of them actually bothered Haru the way that they did in middle school. Our first year went by smoothly and peacefully, and in our second year, Nagisa joined us. Like everyone else, he was surprised that Haru had emerged, but it didn't deter him from acting the way he usually did. We also met Rin again, who like Haru had also emerged late much to my surprise but seemed to have changed so much to the point that it felt unsettling. Somehow or another, we formed the swimming club after a strange twist and turn of events, despite concerns from the teacher they had asked to be in charge of the club. Well, more stuff happened after that, before we realised it, our high school days had all passed and we were one step closer to becoming adults.

After graduation, Haru decided to move to the city where her parents were working in, opting to attend university there instead of the one over in the next town. With my parents' consent, I went with her, and we ended up sharing an apartment which was located near our university. We applied for different majors despite being in the same university and had decided to work part-time at different places as we studied, but our busy schedules did not affect our relationship at all.

In our second year, after Haru turned twenty, a sudden thought came to my mind. It was originally a matter of concern, but after consulting with Rin, who unexpectedly provides good advice, I knew what to do.

What was totally unexpected was that Haru was the one who had made the first move, not to mention it was on the night of my own twentieth birthday.

"Makoto, let's get married."

While my first reaction was to rebut by saying that it should have been my line and not hers, I agreed. Well, I suppose that I was glad that Haru and I were thinking the same thing, and so were our parents. When we told them about our engagement, both sides acted as if it was something that they had already anticipated the news and gave us their blessings. However, Haru's mother did have one condition: we must both complete our studies before we tie the knot.

And today, on a day blessed with warm sunshine and the fresh spring breeze, is finally the day we both have been waiting for.

"I, Tachibana Makoto, swear to take my one and only beloved, Nanase Haruka, as my lawfully wedded wife. Now and forever I pledge my never-ending love for you, in sickness or in health, in joy as well as in sorrow. I will be by your side, no matter what may come our way, to support you and cherish you as long as we both shall live."

"I, Nanase Haruka, swear to take the world's most adorable dork, Tachibana Makoto, to be my lawfully wedded husband. In sickness or in health, in joy and in sorrow, my love for you will never fade. Through both the calm and storm, I will be with you, to support and cherish you as long as we both shall live."

"Ha-Haru!"

"What? It's the truth. Besides, you were the one who said something embarrassing in the first place."

"Well, I suppose you are right."

One thing's for sure, it looks like we will have many, many more things to look forward to from here on out. And with Haru by my side, everything will go along just fine. I'm sure of it.

- END -