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“In a situation like this, you’re still trying to help someone else, aren’t you?” I asked, it was so apparent, she wasn’t ready to give in yet her body showed otherwise. She laid on the ground as the blood dripped on the surface below her, she was struggling so hard to live, so hard to fight back but she knew as well as I did there was no hope.
“I mean…I… Everyone…I love you all…” A sentence which only held sadness and yet she struggled just to say it despite the apparent pain she was in. It was only words, why was she trying so hard to answer my questions? I didn’t even know.
The girl looked up at me desperately as if asking me to aid her. She tried to summon every last bit of her strength as she laid in her own growing puddle of blood, her voice cracked, “I don’t… I don’t want to die.”
I couldn’t help, she knew just as much, yet I stood still looking down at her as the tears started to well up in her eyes, she wasn’t ready to give up yet her body was betraying her. She spoke as if she knew me, as if she knew who I am but to me I didn’t care or know who she was or I thought so… Why would I stand here without moving if I didn’t care about who this person is? My body was opposed to any sort of movement and I couldn’t help but listen to her dying breaths.
“I…” She gasped for air, “I wanted to stay with my classmates.”
The puddle of blood only grew the more she spoke- it was a foolish move but she didn’t care, she still continued to speak once more.
The girl reached out for me with the very little strength she had, “I wanted to play again with Hinata…”
“We could’ve played games again…”
Her body slumped to the ground as her last words echoed in the room and only silence surrounded me. My eye turned to the hair clip laying in the pool of blood- it must have been hers and I felt a sudden urge to pick it up. I reached for it and as I focused on the clip in my hands, my vision blurred. It felt as though something tugged in my heart, I didn’t know why or what this was yet a feeling of miserableness settled inside me. It wasn’t boredom, I knew boredom too well… So what was this feeling? Why did I feel like I was missing something?
I reached to touch my eyes and as soon as I touched my cheeks I knew it- I was crying. Tears.
But why- why was I crying? Who was she? Why did I care? Why didn’t I answer her helpless cries for help? Why didn’t I try to respond to them?
With her death all there was left was questions- questions which I didn’t and may never know how to answer. Because of her a nasty feeling lingered in my heart, it was as if I forgot something- something too important that I wasn’t allowed to forget. Yet, no matter how much I searched my memory I couldn’t find it… And I don’t even know if I ever will.