Chapter Text
(A Prologue of Sorts)
“What kind of school mascot is the 'Hungry Giant?’” Eren squinted at the paper in his hands. “It looks exactly like Mel Gibson.”
Summer was waning. They were sprawled on the floor of Armin’s bedroom, homemade Kool-Aid popsicles dripping sticky pools into the red Solo cups that held them.
“Sounds like a restaurant,” Mikasa said.
“Like, the woodsy log cabin kind with animal heads mounted on the walls,” Armin said. “Give me my registration forms; they’re important.”
Eren scowled and handed them over. The sunlight filtered in through Armin’s shitty, half-broken blinds, forming long, skinny rectangles of light on the floorboards, over their bodies, landing in a way that made Eren feel suddenly self-conscious of how hairy his legs were compared to Armin’s.
He pushed Mikasa’s head off of his stomach to sit up. She landed with an ominous thump but didn’t say anything, so he figured it was okay.
“Gross, my stomach’s still warm where your head was,” Armin said mildly.
“This is bullshit,” Eren said. “Who transfers to a new high school right before senior year.”
"Us,” said Mikasa.”
“That’s the thing, I could get used to it if our old school were fucking swallowed by a sinkhole, but this is bullshit!” Eren’s voice was slowly rising in pitch.
“At least there’s In-N-Out here,” Armin said.
“You and your fuckin’ In-N-Out―"
“Which is pretty sweet,” Armin said. “FYI.”
“I don’t care.” Eren was getting huffy. Mikasa wondered if he would let her wax his eyebrows. “I want to go home.”
“Dude,” Armin said. “Texas sucked ass.”
“Hot,” Mikasa added. “Too humid. Only Asian in a 30-mile radius.”
“They called me a dyke, like, every day” Armin said.
"I know, " Eren groaned. "I fucking know, you guys can stop reminding me now."
The door slammed open. Armin’s grandpa peered down at them.
“Your dad called,” he said cordially to Mikasa. “He wants to know if you’re staying for dinner.”
He stared at Eren.
“Put a shirt on, you little sociopath,” he said.
“We’ll stay, thank you,” Mikasa said. “Do you need any help?”
“Just wake me up when the pizza comes,” he said, then closed the door and left.
Mikasa’s hand closed over Eren’s.
“We were only there for two years,” she said.
“Yeah,” he said, “But this is senior year. We’re supposed to be cool by now.”
“Eren,” Armin interjected, “You weren’t going to be cool anyway.”
“Armin,” Eren said. “Keep your whore mouth shut.” He slumped dramatically back on the floor. “I just hope we don’t have to talk to people.”
Mikasa hauled herself up from the ground.
“I’m bored,” she said. “Let’s go outside.”
The sun was setting and a whisper of a breeze rustled the leaves of the trees lining the road.
“Ahh,” Armin sighed, closing his eyes. “Life outside the Internet.”
Eren snorted with laughter, then sneezed a hunk of milkshake into a nearby leaf.
"What the fuck,” Mikasa said.
The city they had moved to was a quiet suburb; the kind of place that felt like it existed in a bubble, vaguely separate from everywhere else. Cars didn’t honk. Men and women steadfastly battling the approach to middle-age jogged in the biking lanes, nodding hello to each other, pleasant but reserved.
Armin squinted against the heat shimmer rising from the asphalt, suspicious of the city and its promise of a fresh beginning. It was hard to believe that the data from his and Eren's and Mikasa's lives could be transcribed and translated so neatly; that now, halfway across the country, they were doing the same things and eating the same junk food that was in Texas when their lives now had the potential to become entirely different. Armin shoved his hands in his pockets.
Then someone careened by on a moped and crashed directly into a wall.
“Oh my God, did you just see that?” Eren asked.
“I think so, “ Armin said. “But we could be having a group hallucination.”
“Oh my God," Eren said. "We need to help that guy."
Nobody moved.
“Like, for real,” he said.
They rushed across the street, Eren with a manically determined glint in his eyes, Mikasa right at his heels, and Armin lagging a little behind, worried about being nabbed by the police for jaywalking. Eren skidded to a halt leaning over the moped, which was smoking a bit, and addressed the prone body sprawled across the grass.
"Hey," Eren said. "Are you okay?"
“Leave me here to die,” she said and rolled onto her stomach.
Moped turned out to be a bleary-eyed woman who smelled like week-old garbage. Her taped-up glasses lay on the ground next to her head. One leg had broken off and wedged itself in a crack in the sidewalk.
Armin kneeled by her head, inspecting it for damage. “Do you think you have a concussion?”
“Armin, what kind of question is that,” Mikasa said.
“No, I don’t have a concussion,” said Moped. “Trust me, I would know.”
“You’re lucky you landed on the grass,” Armin said.
“You sound pretty chipper for someone who clearly doesn’t have their shit together,” Eren said, looking concerned but inappropriately eager. “Listen, do you want me to call the cops or not?”
“Leave me alone, I’m wearing a helmet,” she groaned.
“Are you high?” Armin asked. “You have a pretty big grass burn on your shoulder,” he added.
“No."
“We’re trying to help you,” Eren snapped. “What are we supposed to do now?”
“Leave me alone,” she answered promptly. After a second, she added, “Actually, could you call this number for me? I have one hell of a headache,” and lifted her hand. A phone number was scrawled across the palm. “Use my phone.”
After two rings, a testy male voice answered.
“Hanji, if you’re calling for me to dig you out of some shit again, I swear to God, I’m going to kick your ass.”
“Hi,” Eren said. “I’m sorry.”
“Who the fuck are you?”
“I’m Eren...”
Armin said, “What are you doing? Tell him what’s wrong before he hangs up on you!”
Mikasa snatched the phone away and said, “What are you wearing?”
“Gucci, pilfered from a dead body. Who the fuck are you guys?”
Armin took the phone from Mikasa.
“Sorry,” Armin said, glaring at the other two. “We’re with your friend right now. She just crashed her moped into a building. I think she needs your help.”
“Shit,” he sighed. “Where are you?”
“Uh... We’re next to a restaurant called Thai Me Up.”
“Give me 10 minutes. Tell Hanji her ass is grass.”
“Okay.”
Armin handed Hanji her phone.
“Hanji,” he said. “Your ass is grass.”
“That’s what I thought,” she said.
“Are you ever gonna get up?”
“No thanks, I’ll sit this one out.”
“Right,” he said. “What happened?”
“I’m on vacation.” Hanji rolled onto her back and spread her limbs on the ground like she was making a snow angel. “The clouds are beautiful right now.”
Armin peered up at the sky.
“Yeah. Is it always this...”
“Smoggy?” Hanji suggested.
“Pink,” Armin said. “It’s really pink here. We all just moved here like two weeks ago.”
“It’s been two weeks and you haven’t seen the sunset yet?” Hanji asked. “You're missing out. Lie down.”
Armin looked around. Eren and Mikasa shrugged at him and walked away to sit on the curb nearby; no one else was around. Gingerly, he sat next to Hanji. The cement was still hot from the sun and burned the backs of his knees.
“Get on the grass,” Hanji said, “It’s nicer here.”
“This is really weird,” he said. “I don’t tend to like, make friends. Or talk to strangers.”
“Does this mean we’re friends?” she asked. “Is this legal? I’m way too old for you.”
“I think that only applies if we’re having sex,” Armin said.
“I know, I’m just fucking with you. Come on, lie down. It’s nice.”
Armin lowered his back onto the ground, folding his arms over his stomach.
“If my hair gets stuck in sidewalk gum, please just cut it off,” he said.
“Shh. Look at the clouds," she said. "That one looks like a winged cat.”
Armin pointed up at the sky. “Smiley face.”
Hanji squinted. “Looks more like a giant mouth. The little cloud specks around it are people. Look. Narwhal with legs.”
“Wouldn’t it be easier to just call it a unicorn?”
“It’s too lumpy to be a unicorn.”
“You’re better at this than I am,” Armin said.
“You can’t be bad at cloud-hunting,” she replied. “It’s what you make of it.”
“You sound like an English teacher," he said. “'You can’t be wrong about your perspective,'” he said, making air-quotes even though Hanji wasn't looking at him.
“Exactly,” she said, sighing contentedly.
“Hanji,” he said. “Why do you smell like a dump.”
“Science,” she said.
They lay there quietly for several minutes, listening to the birds chirping and tires crunching over asphalt.
“Don’t fall asleep,” Armin said. “I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to sleep if you have serious head trauma.”
“If I did you would know, trust me.”
At that moment, a black Mini Cooper swerved violently into the parking lot, completely disregarding the available parking spaces, and a man stumbled out of the driver’s seat. He caught himself, then strode purposefully toward the wreck.
“What are you shitheads doing?” he yelled.
Armin looked in the direction of the voice.
“Is that...?”
“Yes, it’s him,” Hanji said. “Levi, meet my friend, um...”
“Armin.”
Levi looked like a vampire. Despite the heat, he was dressed in a black v-neck sweater and jeans. He looked like he hadn’t seen the light of day in at least a few months and had a bad case of computer glow. Armin noted that they were around the same height, though Levi was thicker, more muscular.
He was also fuming.
“You little shit,” he growled. He looked rabid. “How’s your head? Are you hurt?”
“No,” Hanji sighed. “But I can’t feel my legs.”
Levi’s eyes were practically bulging out of his head.
“Did you—are you fucking kidding me?”
“Yeah,” Hanji said. “Can you take my moped home? Please?”
“I’m taking you home too, shitstain,” he said. “I’ll take your shift.”
“Lie down, Levi,” she said. “It’s a really nice day.”
“Fuck no,” he said. “That’s so unsanitary. I can’t believe you talked him into it.”
He turned to Armin and squinted at him. Armin squirmed under his gaze.
“You kids can go now,” he said.
“Don’t be rude, Levi, they’re nice” Hanji said. She groped her way into a sitting position and adjusted her glasses on her face. “We should give them some coffee. Help me up.”
Levi roughly hoisted her to her feet. They made a strange pair. Hanji was tall and slim and tan, with strong features and a blinding smile, while Levi’s face had by that point morphed into the half-bored, half-horrified look of someone who was perpetually, miserably confronted with stupidity.
“Are you okay?” Armin asked hesitantly. “You look kinda sad.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Levi said.
“That’s just his face.” Hanji rubbed Levi’s shoulder comfortingly. “Get your friends! I’ll make you guys frappes. Iced coffee! Whatever you want.”
Armin trudged over to Eren and Mikasa. They were playing a game of hacky sack in front of the parking lot.
"Hey," Armin said. "I can't believe you guys are playing without me."
Eren half-turned to him with an apologetic look just as Mikasa kicked the hacky sack.
"Shit!" Armin said, right before it hit Eren with a loud smack just above his ear. He collapsed to the ground and Mikasa gasped, looking horrified.
"Oh my God," she said. "Are you okay? I'm so, so sorry."
"Fuck," Eren groaned.
"Uh," Armin said. "Hanji wants to make us coffee. Mikasa, help me hoist him up."
Mikasa bent down and slung Eren over her shoulder like a backpack.
"Okay," Armin said. He led them back to where Hanji and Levi were waiting. Levi eyed Mikasa warily.
"What the fuck happened?" Levi asked.
Armin shrugged.
Hanji led them to a little café wedged between an insurance building and an antique store.
“This place is called The Little Café. We’re technically not open for another hour, but we can make an exception today.” She beamed. Levi scowled.
Origami cranes dangled from the ceiling, amongst the twinkle lights draped across the exposed beams. Carved wooden animals peeped out of the corners and between the thick leaves of the potted cacti on the café tables.
“It’s called ‘The Little Café?’” Armin asked.
“Yeah, it’s called ‘The Little Café,’ Legout,” Levi said, glaring. “Problem?”
“You work here?” Mikasa looked dubious. It was hard to imagine someone so truculent spending time in such a cute place, making foam hearts on people’s lattes.
“We’re watching it for a friend,” Hanji said. “So for the time being, we both work here. What do you guys want to drink?”
“Just coffee, please,” Mikasa said.
“Me too.”
Eren looked at the menu tacked on the wall.
“Do you make green tea frappes?”
“Don’t be a bitch, Eren,” Mikasa said.
“Right,” he said, “Coffee, please.”
“We don't always open this late,” Hanji called over the counter over the loud burble of the brewing coffee, “Most of the business comes from the local high school, so as soon as school starts, we start opening at around noon, when we usually get waves of ditchers. Sometimes people come to do their homework. You guys should drop by!”
Levi let out a long, loud sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Hanji,” he said, “What are we going to do about your bike?”
“I’ll fix it at my house,” she said.
“How did you even crash it in the first place?” Eren asked.
“Let me guess. Hanji doesn’t sleep,” Levi said, “Because she is a scientist. She probably crashed into a wall today because she was too busy thinking about fucking fruit flies.”
“Not ‘fucking fruit flies’,” she corrected quickly. “Just fruit flies. No fucking.”
“Are you two dating?” Mikasa asked.
“That’s a pretty invasive question from someone whose name I don’t even know,” he said. “I guess you’re on a roll, Miss What-Are-You-Wearing.”
Mikasa shrugged, unperturbed.
“For the record, we are kind of, but not really, very loosely dating,” Hanji said. Armin noticed Levi’s face sour for a moment before realigning itself.
“Right, we forgot to introduce ourselves,” Armin said hastily. “I’m Armin, and this is Mikasa and Eren.”
“Nice to meet you,” Hanji said.
Levi just nodded sourly.
"Well, aren't you a sulky fuck!" she cooed, pinching Levi's cheeks. Levi hissed at her, like a cat.
"Wow," Eren said. "You guys are fucking weird."
Armin cringed.
"Yeah," Hanji agreed. "We get that sometimes."