Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Assistance.

Prologue:

Courtney Wells had always made it her business to know everything about everyone. One could not work for Patti Nyholm without understanding the power of knowledge. And the ebony-skinned assistant had always had a keen eye for detail.

Therefore it should not have surprised her that she seemed to be one of the only ones to notice how Kalinda`s eyes focused on and tracked her boss as would a hawk its prey. It shouldn't, but it had, because once it had become visible to her, it seemed so clear.

It had not bothered her, when, many times, the investigator would leave a file or a note at her desk, for her to forward to Alicia. She had always, warmly, smiled back as Kalinda, in a bolder mood, had smoothed past her, to hand the lawyer the papers personally. She had stored the piece of information in a safe place of her multifunctional brain and had not thought to ever need it.

But then… IT… had happened.

And now, the eyes still tracked and followed, but they did not smile anymore. The files were ALL left at Courtney`s desk, but little post-it notes were sticking out any more. Ever. The only ones she ever saw now, were directed at her.

And still, maybe, Courtney could have kept her peace, knowing at times how silence was worth more than a thousand words. Had it been about anybody else... Had she not known so much… But it wasn`t and she did.

And, Courtney had to reluctantly admit, she cared. She sighed.

Sometimes knowledge was a curse.

…

She had thought it to be Alicia, her being the more likely candidate for such a gesture, who had put in a good word for her brother. The fact the boy had a record – some silly thing he had gotten himself into when he had just turned 18- had left him jobless for most of his young years and Courtney had been worried that, frustration and boredom combined, the young man would be seduced to follow a darker path. Later Courtney had had to acknowledge she had been wrong. Although Alicia seemed warm, and would never turn her back on a good deed if it was asked of her or if it was right in front of her face, she had not known anything about her brother. When Courtney had, shyly, tried to thank her for her actions, the lawyer had looked at her with such wide and confused eyes, she quite quickly recognized her mistake.

Nevertheless it had been a great surprise when she had overheard some guys on the 23th floor talk about it. She even remembered their exact words:

`And his record?`

`Listen, if Kalinda says it's ok, it`s ok.`

With that, the first man had heartily agreed and the deal had been done.

Courtney had waited for the longest time for Kalinda to reveal herself. To finally find out what she would want in return of the favor. She had listened to people talk and had always heard that Kalinda always wanted something for something and, many of times, something for nothing. But the smiles and the small non-interactions they shared, had never changed.

It had peaked Courtney`s interest in the in-house investigator though, and she had laid her ear to rest to see if she could find out more. And had she…

If she had thought the fact that she was ALICIA`S assistant that had earned her the good deed, the stories she collected proofed her otherwise. From the mailroom (an ex-con) to security (an ex-cop) to the surveillance room (her brother) there were people who owed their job to Kalinda`s good word. Although she was sure some of them knew, she also had a hunch most of them didn`t. It was fascinating, the way Kalinda worked, but no one was as much the subject of her silent good deeds as Alicia Florrick, and it did not take a psychology degree to figure out why. It DID take one, however, why the woman was trying so hard to keep her selfish, bad-ass image. Most of the stories she had heard were warnings about Kalinda`s always hidden agenda. How she was dangerous and cold. How she didn't have a heart. But that was not the Kalinda she knew, behind the scenes.

Courtney blushed, grateful for the darkness of her skin to conceal it. She had more than once suspected she herself had a little crush on the in-house investigator, which of course shouldn`t have surprised her, because REALLY who didn't?

Even Diane, sometimes, amused, followed the soft sway of the sexy Indian woman`s hips as she passed by. She had heard Cary say, more than once, a lot of girls had been straight until they met Kalinda. In her mind, Courtney sometimes called it being `Kalinda-sexual'. But she also knew Kalinda only had eyes for one woman. Her body may be free game, to men and women alike, but her heart, the one people claimed she didn`t possess, belonged only to Alicia. This knowledge, despite her own little crush, did not make Courtney jealous. It simply saddened her.

Since Alicia had broken the friendship, both woman walked around their glass offices like zombies. And it was not until Courtney saw Kalinda, flinching, drink a cup of coffee instead of her usual milk, immediately followed by a sip of pepto-bismol that she noticed the dark circles under Kalinda`s eyes, although expertly concealed by make-up.

It was the end of April when she decided to do something about it, a plan slowly starting to form itself in her mind. Hoping that, maybe, all this called for was a little female subtlety?

 

To Be Continued

Chapter Text

Week 1

1^st of May (Wednesday)

The phone found the receiver a little too loudly. The clatter of it, falling out and on her desk again, resounded in the empty hall at the moment Diane exited the elevator. The sophisticated woman raised her eyebrow in amused question, and Courtney, embarrassed, looked down.

`Something is not going as planned?`

The assistant managed a brave smile, but her eyes flashed with something close to panic.

`I… It`s… I will manage in the end. I`m sorry`

`No… No… No reason to apologize, I just advice you to not let the clients see it when you get too frustrated… Oh and never throw the phone at the glass, I`ve learned very early in my days here they don`t like that…`

The experienced lawyer laughed and before Courtney could ask if she meant the phone or the glass walls, the phone in front of her made its presence known by ringing loudly. She looked at Diane apologetically when she answered.

`Lockhart/Gardner, Alicia Fl… Oh Kalinda! Finally…’

From the corner of her eye Courtney saw how Diane, who had started to make her way to her office, stopped at the sound of her relieved voice and listened. Suppressing a smile she continued.

‘Yes, Alicia asked me to tell you the witness… Oh… Yes… I see… So you want me to… Couldn`t you call… Ah… No… Yes, but then… Yes… Yes, I`ll tell her.`

With a resigning sigh she hung up, this time careful placing the phone in its holder, and stared at it for a couple of seconds before, as if she was bracing herself and picked it up again.

`Alicia? I just spoke to Kal… Yes… Well, she said the witness is on his way to you right now… Oh, really? But I thought you said… So that is NOT what you need… Yes, I could tell her but… No, I just… Maybe this could be easier if you just contacted Ka… No… No… Ok… I`ll tell her.`

 When she ended the call and dialed a number again, she heard the clicking of Diane`s heels pick up again, and the sound of the closing door made her, shivery, breathe out.

She may or may not have been talking to the dial tone the entire time. She may or may not have used the smart phone on her lap to make sure the phone rang at exactly the right moment.

But later that day, when she heard Diane urge them to `make it better` she thought it had been worthy when she looked at her shaking hands.

She should have known. Being subtle sure was nerve wrecking work.

3^th of May (Friday)

Courtney entered Alicia`s glass office with a smile, and waved at her with the file in her hand. Her boss, who had gotten stuck on a case earlier that day, looked up, surprised but hopeful.

She may or may not have chosen her position so, that the incident that clearly happened in ANOTHER glass office, would be visible for Alicia as soon as she placed her attention on the assistant.

`What`s going on over there?`

It was clearly visible from Alicia`s shocked expression she had not meant to say the sentence out loud. But Courtney simply glanced behind her –as is she wasn’t aware of the situation- and brought her voice to a low whisper.

‘ Oh, they say Kalinda has been missing some deadlines. And Mr. Gold is NOT amused.`

She smiled, and handed her boss the file, the small bright green post-it clearly standing out against the red folder.

She started to make her way out when she saw Alicia frown from her peripheral view, from the ink on the green, from the scene in the other office, and bit the inside of her cheek when she took a quick step back.

`Oh, sorry, that was for me.’

She smiled uncomfortably and breathlessly, as she snatched the post-it with Kalinda`s handwriting away from her boss, and quickly made her way out of the office. She had to hide her mouth behind her hand several times that day, concealing a smile every time Alicia glanced at the in-house investigator. Despite not being stuck on her case anymore, her boss worked late that night. Must have been all the distractions…

At the end of the day, Courney carefully placed a small green note in her briefcase. She may or may not have want to hide the evidence of her own practice. She may or may not have looked for what felt like ages for the small green papers the investigator used to use when she communicated with Alicia –and, Courtney suspected, ONLY when she communicated with Alicia- . She may or may not have practiced for hours to imitate the curve in the K, and the curl of the a.

Courtney smiled, and massaged her tired hand.

She should have known. Being subtle sure was hard work.

 

To Be Continued

Chapter Text

 

Week 2

7^th of May (Tuesday)

Courtney squinted while she was watching her computer screen, not because she had trouble seeing, or because she actually needed the glasses she never wore and always remained hidden in her bag, but because she was actually witnessing the interaction between Will Gardner and a certain investigator. She usually didn`t have any particular feelings towards the man who had given his name to the company where she worked. But now she sure did, and they weren`t nice ones!

She would have to leave in a few minutes and he was still there, yapping away… The only good thing was that, Courtney noticed, Alicia looked up every few moments, and casted a glance at the two. She was quite certain though her boss was telling herself she was watching Mr. Gardner… She knew the two had had a short affair after everything had gone down, there was not much that escaped the assistance eye. But she also knew it was already over for a while. Oh, if Alicia would just open her eyes already!

Since Diane had mentioned, about a week ago, that the two women should `make it better` Courtney had thought, at first, to see some improvement. But every step these two seemed to take towards each other, they also each took 2 steps back… Maybe, she had thought, she just had to, literally, force them together. So she had made sure Alicia had a lot of work tonight, and she knew, from experience, Kalinda wouldn`t leave until her boss was safe in her car.  

She may or may not have thought, maybe, alcohol was a good catalyst. May or may not had sacrificed her lunch break in order go out and buy the sixpack. May or may not have left, in a stolen moment, 2 bottles at Kalinda`s desk.

But now Will Gardner was there, talking to Kalinda, stealing the attention Alicia should be giving the investigator. She had already given up this day, this plan, when she saw Kalinda offer Will a beer, and got up to gather her things. Then, as she noticed rapid, but tentative clicking of heels in her direction, she looked up. For a moment, her eyes glanced from Kalinda`s tense face to Will`s encouraging smile and Courtney felt her earlier annoyance be replaced by the urge to take the name-partner in her arms and convince him to join her in a happy dance.

The two beers dangled in Kalinda`s hand and she strode past her and towards Alicia.

Courtney and grimaced as she lifted her bag, which may or may not be containing 4 beer bottles, and, with a little wave to Mr. Gardner, the only one, seemingly, who had noticed she was still around, she found her way to the elevator. She sighed. She should have known. Being subtle sure was heavy work.

 

8^th of May (Wednesday)   

Courtney`s eyes were immediately drawn to the bottle that was sitting on her desk. She was early, she knew, but she had been so curious to find out what had happened the night before, she had offered to give her brother, whose working day started at 7 am, a ride. The sight of the bottle gave her an uneasy feeling and when she picked it up and found it almost full, the sensation in the pit of her stomach intensified.

After she had cleared away the `evidence`, Alicia -much too early- entered, looking as if the night had not given her much rest. Not much later, Will Gardner arrived. His 6 months of not being allowed to practice law were going to be hard on the firm, Courtney knew, but maybe, for her personal cause, it wasn`t with the worse timing. For a moment she contemplated the idea that Will and Alicia had arrived together, but she rejected that option, when she saw them interact. The last time those two had been sleeping together, they had been so awkward with each other it was painful. They were so obviously just attracted to the idea of what could have been between them that, when they really got to act on the attraction, it had and could have been nothing more than fleeting. Courtney was glad they had remained friends, and was surprised by how easy their interaction had become again, despite several pining looks from Will`s part.

Alicia, however, did look pained. What had happened the night before? Obviously not the reconciliation she had hoped. That thought was confirmed when Kalinda, sporting a big pair of sunglasses, entered. Her mouth, the only expressive part of her face left free by the dark shades, was a thin line of tension (or sadness?). Courtney swallowed when she saw the investigator halt in her step when she saw Alicia, and, without a moment of hesitation, turn around and move to the opposite direction. Something had gone terribly wrong… Angrily Courtney looked at the beer bottle she had emptied, that was staring at her from the waste bin. She knew she should have gone with tequila…

Her next glare was directed at her boss… Why oh why had the woman done whatever she had done? Whatever had made Kalinda flee at the sight of her now?

The day was so busy, that Courtney had to cancel the lunch she had planned with her brother. The annoyance she had felt towards Alicia weakened a little when her boss, after several clumsy actions, finally knocked over a coffee cup and burned her hand. She looked like she was about to cry. While Alicia was in the bathroom, rinsing her reddened skin, Courtney printed, again, the papers that were ruined. She looked up in surprise when she heard Kalinda`s heels. The boots made a very particular sound she had learned to recognize early on. The investigator smiled and they had one of their typical non-interactions before Kalinda moved forward to the elevator.

It took Courtney some time to identify the little tube of ointment that was left on the corner of her desk. She took it, and slowly turned it around in her fingers, sighing deeply, and looked in the direction of the elevator before she brought the burn-lotion to Alicia.

Obviously, she wasn’t the only one who was practicing the art of subtlety. Courtney swallowed hard, when Alicia, squealing, thanked her.

She may or may not have waited till after hours, to find her way to Kalinda`s office. She may or may not have found there, in the trash, the box that had covered the medicine, the name of the person it had been subscribed to still clearly visible. She may or may not have placed the piece of carton safely in her bag.

At home, she stared at a typed-out name for a long time, a heavy feeling in her chest. She should have known. Sometimes being subtle sure was sad work.

 

10^th of May (Friday)

‘She is still here you know…`

Courtney casually stated with her hand on the doorknob. She had just asked if there was anything more she could do for Alicia, who was, once again, burning the midnight oil.

`Who?`

The fact that Alicia spoke the word sharply and annoyed made Courtney suspect she knew exactly who she had been talking about. Choosing to ignore the tone, Courtney held on to her own casual one as she answered.

`Kalinda… I mean, I could send her over on my way out. It looks like you could use some help with… THAT.`

She indicated the thick file, which she may or may not have held a little longer than necessary in order to create this situation. She almost felt guilty as she saw the emotions cross over Alicia`s face…

`I`m fine!`

Again the sharpness, that indicated quite the opposite of the words uttered. Courtney shrugged and smiled, turning once more to leave.

‘ Courtney?`

`Yes?`

‘ I guess it`s ok… Well… If you run into her… and… she is not doing anything…’

`I`ll ask her`

The smile kept lingering on Courtney`s face, and she only, shortly, suppressed it when she found the investigator and gave her the message. The surprised twinkle in Kalinda`s eyes almost made the smile appear again, but she managed to keep it hidden until she entered the elevator.

She may or may not have lingered around Alicia`s car. May or may not have looked up some things on internet the night before. May or may not have used that new-found knowledge to unplug just the right cable.

She sighed and looked at her hands. She should have known. Being subtle sure was dirty work.

To be continued

Chapter Text

 

Week 3: Painfully silent, spirited and predictable

 

13 th  of May  (Monday)

Something was different after the weekend, Courtney sensed. The ride home that must have followed on Friday –considering Alicia`s car may not have worked- HAD changed something. But the assistant doubted if it was in a good way. Alicia seemed to glance at Kalinda more freely now, and even when Will was present, she forgot she actually was supposed to cast her pining stares in HIS direction. When they accidentally brushed against each other however, they jumped up as bitten by the most poisonous snake alive. It was as if the possibility of reconciliation scared each of the women immensely.

Alicia had been working on a case that hadn`t gone too well. The disgruntled client had, several times, uttered threats, sometimes in general, sometimes specifically towards Alicia. Courtney had seen Kalinda`s hawk-like eyes follow him and had been afraid that one day she would have to bring the news the man had been attacked with a baseball bat.

That afternoon however, she was to deliver another message concerning the former client. He had been arrested and probably wouldn't get out of jail for a while. He had chosen different representation.

Courtney may or may not have withheld some information when Alicia asked her if she knew the reason the man had been arrested. That may or may not have had to do with the slight shake of a head she saw the in-house investigator perform.

The assistant may or may not have used her creativity with the email accounts of the company to get the information she wanted. She may or may not have stared at it for a few moments after which she may or may not have pushed the print-button.

Later, when Courtney got to the parking lot and recognized Kalinda`s figure in the security-guy`s car she wanted to scream. But she didn't.

She should have known.

Being subtle sure was painfully silent work sometimes.

 

14 th  of May  (Tuesday)

The idea had come to her while she was in the shower, or actually, when she had come out of the shower and was drying her hair. There must have been some Freudian reason why she had thought of it at exactly that moment, but Courtney wasn`t really interested in that.

It may or may not have taken some preparations, and she may or may not have used the new connection her brother may or may not have with the young mustardseed. She may or may not have arranged for her boss to go out to lunch at exactly the right moment. She may or may not have been watching from the high window how the plan would pan out.

Alicia`s whole demeanor changed the moment she saw the young man who had caused her to be so worried about Grace. The long strides spoke of fierce emotion and the sharp words that followed made the man shrink back into boyhood. The only protest that passed his trembling lips may or may not have been the one that held the name Courtney had aimed for.

`Kalinda?`

The assistant heard her boss whisper the word, like a chant, almost like a prayer, when she had, confused, come up again and retreated to her office.

She should have known.

Being subtle sure was spirited work sometimes.

 

16 th  of May  (Thursday)

`Are you on your way to bail out Kalinda?`

Courtney may or may not have made sure Alicia caught the last words as she spoke them to Will, who nodded. The assistant was pretty sure though even he didn`t know WHY Kalinda had to be bailed out. It bothered her that she wasn`t certain of the matter herself, but she did have a pretty good idea. She was about to offer to do it for him when she heard Alicia`s sharp voice.

' I`ll go.`

Even Will blinked in surprise. It was obvious he was aware of the trouble between Kalinda and his love interest, but he was, again, oblivious to the reason why.

`It`s ok, I can…`

Alicia practically pulled the paper out of his hands, and her glare dared him to contradict her as she searched her bag for her car keys.

Will shrugged and turned around, muttering something that suspiciously sounded like `Women!` while he walked back into his office.

`Courtney, could you please cancel my morning appointments?`

The assistant smiled and nodded. It may or may not already have been done.

When she saw her boss get in the elevator, Courtney looked at the empty agenda before her.

She should have known.

Being subtle sure was predictable work sometimes.

 

To Be Continued

Chapter Text

 

Week 4: Fluid, impulsive and expensive.

---

20th of May  (Monday):

Weekends were too long, Courtney concluded while she casually observed her boss. She knew Alicia had confronted Kalinda with the knowledge of her finding Grace. But somehow, AGAIN, that seemed to not have had the effect Courtney had hoped for. Yes, there were more stolen glances, and it seemed like Kalinda was relaxing a little, the tension in her shoulders slightly less.

Alicia, however, was a whole different story. The woman was a nervous wreck and in desperate need of caffeine -that much was obvious- but the fact that Kalinda was talking with the FBI investigator in front of the coffee machine prevented her to go and get it. So it was Courtney, who, in the end, armed with two empty coffee mugs, entered the small room. The tension was palpable and Kalinda cleared her throat.

`Listen, Lana...`

`No, Kalinda, YOU listen. I`d help you if you let me, but we both know you won`t. Not really. Oh yes, some superficial bull-shit, some stupid information. Me, talking to some people, so that you won`t get prosecuted for that idiotic stunt you pulled with your ex-client. But you never let me in. And we both know why.`

The assistant was only mildly surprised to see the look the agent casted Alicia through the glass. For a moment, the lawyer held the gaze, before she cocked an eyebrow and pretended to focus again on the file before her.

'This is pointless.'

Lana pushed herself away from the table and took some steps in the direction of the door. Courtney quickly collected she had come for, which may or may not be more than the coffee, and turned around just in time to see Lana wince in response to Kalinda`s next words.

I`ll call you later.`

Her voice could have sounded stinging, but just seemed defeated when she looked back to the investigator and spoke before exiting.

`I am sure you will. If you`re not too busy `saving`her, that is.`

When Courtney finally brought Alicia the coffee she had craved, she saw the woman curiously observe her, but, this time, the assistant volunteered nothing.

She may or may not have recorder the complete conversation on her smartphone. She may or may not have saved the file on a USB she may or may not have been guarding under her clothes around her neck for a while now.

Later, Courtney saw how Alicia, after bring the coffee cup back to the small kitchen, took a detour and stopped at Kalinda`s office. Courtney blinked when noticed a glass of milk exchange hands. The assistant couldn't help but notice Alicia`s longing eyes when the investigator drank, while the lawyer, quasi-casually talking to Kalinda, leaned against the desk. She may or may not have practically choked in her cold coffee, however, when she saw Alicia reach out and clean some of the white beverage that had gotten stuck on Kalinda`s upper lip.

A bright smile adorned Courtney`s face after the rough coughing fit.

She should have known.

Being subtle sure was fluid work sometimes.

---

21th of May  (Tuesday)

This time, the events had not been planned, but when Courtney saw the sports journalist talking with Will, she knew she shouldn`t let this opportunity pass her by. She knew the woman by face, name and reputation, and had an inkling this was just the push Alicia needed in order to get over something she was struggling with. It was obvious the lawyer was trying to hold on to her anger, and although at times that made Courtney raise her eyes to the heavens, she knew something more substantial had to be done.

It was not hard to foresee what was coming, and when the pretty woman had passed her desk on the way out, she may or may not have been so kind to give her the information when her boss would be free. With Tammi`s reputation and the glare she had witnessed in Alicia`s direction, Courtney was pretty sure the journalist would not leave that office without saying anything.

When, after the writer had left, she saw how Alicia`s eyes were drawn, time and again, to Kalinda, she knew she had been right. Her boss had been confronted with her own shortcomings. And therefore maybe was a little more open to take the next step in the direction Courtney was slowly pushing her. The assistant could see the pained fear reflected in Alicia`s eyes every time she caught sight of Kalinda. But she also saw the yearning guilty look the investigator casted in the lawyer`s direction whenever Alicia wasn`t paying attention. It was heartbreaking. But necessary. A necessary evil. At least that is what Courtney told herself.

At the end of the day she almost had to admit that, maybe, she had just send Tammi to Alicia to spite her, that, maybe, it had not been so constructive at all. But then her boss surprised her by, suddenly determent, getting up and making her way towards Kalinda. Courtney strained to listen.

'Look, it can't go back to the way it was before, there's just been too much. But I'd like to try to make it work.'

Courtney`s heart skipped a beat. But her boss wasn`t finished yet.

'It's just that everything has to be on the table. I can't be the only one being forthcoming, honest. Can you do that?'

The words were spoken challenging, and with a certain, biting amount of anger that made the investigator blink. But there was something in those dark eyes Courtney hadn`t seen in a very long time. Or maybe ever…

Hope.

Kalinda swallowed hard before she hoarsely answered. As if not betraying all the rules she lived by, by doing so.

`Yeah`

Courtney may or may not have -after Alicia had been long gone- been staring at the investigator, who still sat there as if stricken. She may or may not have waited, until the woman passed her, to pick up the phone and talk to and about a friend who may or may not be imaginary. She may or may not have dropped a hint that certain things were interested to know about someone. She may or may not have used the word `Flexible`.

When she heard the clicking of Kalinda`s boots pick up again, she smiled and placed back the phone.

She should have known.

Being subtle sure was impulsive work sometimes.

---

24th of May  (Friday)

It had been several days since Alicia had taken the step to approach Kalinda, but it was obvious the two still were doing a weird little two-step and twirling around each other without actually touching.

Sometimes the assistant saw Kalinda open her mouth to suggest something, only to awkwardly close it again. Sometimes Alicia walked in the direction of Kalinda`s office, only to take a detour to the coffeemachine. Courtney sighed and may or may not have decided it was time for another push.

`Ah Kalinda, that witness you were looking to meet, called.`

Courtney smiled when Kalinda looked up, but had to hide the shock she felt when she looked into the dark eyes. The investigator looked like she hadn`t slept in weeks, and her skin was a shade more pale than the assistant was used to. The sunglasses lay next to her on the desk, and 3 laptops were linked together in what seemed to be a thorough investigation. The eyes seemed to need time to focus on her, and Kalinda blinked several times before she smiled a wary smile.

`He did? Let me guess. He wants drinks?`

Without even awaiting an answer she shut the laptops in a swift motion and got up.

`Are you ok?

The question escaped Courtney without intent and she bit her lip when she saw Kalinda`s surprised look. It seemed like the question was foreign to her, as if she was not used to people asking her that. That thought made the assistant sad, but the investigator sniggered and winked at her.

`I really must look like shit...`

Before she could confirm or deny this statement –something that may or may not have taken a little longer than intended because of Courtney`s bodily reaction to the wink- Kalinda already had taken a small bag out of a drawer. Quickly and professionally she applied a layer of make-up that wouldn't be wasted on a movie star, and yet the Indian woman remained to look naturally beautiful. She accentuated her features, the sharp cheekbones, the shape of her eye, the full lips, and smiled when she saw Courtney`s approving nod while the assistant handed her the paper that held the place and time of the meeting.

She may or may not have given the exact same information to Alicia only moments after Kalinda had left. She may or may not have invented the witness who was supposed to show up at the alleged time. She may or may not have called a befriended bartender to extend apologies of said witness and keep the tequila flowing.

Later that evening, she may or may not have received a text telling her the word `Flexible` had fallen. She may or may not have received a tab as well.

Courtney shook her head as she pulled out her wallet.

She should have known.

Being subtle sure was expensive work sometimes.

---

To Be Continued with THE FINALE

Chapter Text

Week 5: THE FINALE

 

27^th of May (Monday)

 

Courtney`s eyes twinkled at the sight of Alicia`s red cheeks. She had just caught sight of the gaze the lawyer was casting in a certain direction, and followed it. The slightly parted lips and rhythmic falling and raising of Alicia`s chest might have already been a clue, but there were 3 other things that really gave away the thoughts –and feelings- her boss must be having. First there were the eyes, fierce and wide, slightly glazed over, with an intensity in them that one would never suspect. Then there were the hands, one of them grasped, firmly, the armrest of her chair, while the other`s palm was frequently dried against the grey fabric of the skirt. And finally, there were the legs, tightly crossed, with the thighs clenching causing an unmistakable friction.

 

The object of Alicia`s obvious desire was pacing in her office, her conversation on the phone obviously a heated one as she gestured passionately. When the investigator dropped something and bend over,  Courtney could practically hear Alicia moan as she saw the woman, tormented, close her eyes -just a second- before giving into the temptation to take in the view Kalinda, unknowingly, offered her.

 

Courtney may or may not have entered the office silently, strangely drawn to Alicia`s obvious physical reaction. She even may or may not have made a slight sound herself, which may or may not have caused an involuntary movement in Alicia, who had not realized her presence. This may or may not have caused an opened bottle of water to topple over or Courtney to lunge forward.

 

Courtney shook her head as she caught sight of herself in the mirror, her soaked blouse sticking, but refreshing against her heated skin.

 

She should have known.

 

Being subtle, sure was a wet job sometimes.

 

29th of May (Wednesday):

 

Courtney felt her sweaty fingers slide off the keyboard while she worked. Time was passing her by and she was starting to get very anxious. Sometimes it felt like she was making progress, but she knew she was kidding herself. Actually, if she was completely honest, maybe she had always known it would come down to this. That didn`t mean however that she wasn`t scared to death.

 

Her heart pounded in her chest and her nerves showed in the fact that every time she heard a pair of heels approach she acted as if her chair had the jump-option pilots sometimes had in planes. She would recognize the clicking of Kalinda`s boots anywhere, but still, Diane, Alicia and several other female employees of the floor evoked the childlike reaction with the simple sound of their walking.

 

She had to wait until the end of the day to finally hear the anticipated boots appear. Her hands trembling now with pent up anxiety she almost forgot to wait until her boss was within hearing distance to blurt out the words.

 

‘Kalinda, would you go out with me sometime?`

 

2 gazes shot in her direction, and Courtney had to force herself to focus only on Kalinda`s. The dark, gorgeous eyes looked at her in surprise and one corner of her mouth was pulled slightly up in an amused, flirtatious way. Courtney almost moaned when the careful smile turned into a full one when the assistant didn`t look down.

 

It was obvious Kalinda had never looked at her in that way, and it surprised Courtney slightly that that didn`t even sting a little. Quite the contrary, it made her feel proud. Proud of the epic strength of the love she was trying to make visible. The investigator could have read her mind, because suddenly she glanced in Alicia`s direction –allowing Courtney to catch a glimpse of the lawyers astounded expression herself- before her eyes found the assistant`s once again.

 

Kalinda swallowed, her pain so visible Courtney could physically feel it, and she was glad her back was turned to her boss so she could encouragingly smile. There must have had been something in her eyes, Courtney thought later, because suddenly something in Kalinda`s demeanor had changed. Her eyes had narrowed, and, for a moment, Courtney had been afraid that she would be turned down. Not that she couldn`t work with that, she could if she would have to… But still… But then she saw Kalinda`s face relax and the look of resignation that flashed in those eloquent eyes, before the Indian woman smiled at her brightly, almost broke Courtney`s heart.

 

‘Sure, I`d like that.’

 

As they walked towards Kalinda`s office to write down the address of the bar where they would meet, the assistant felt Alicia`s eyes burn holes in the back of her head.

 

Well, at least it had gotten her attention.

 

Courtney may or may not have steered clear of her boss the rest of the day, and may or may not have been followed by a persistent stare. She also may or may not have sported a ridiculously broad grin all day.

 

She should have known.

 

Being subtle sure was daring work sometimes.

 

 

31st of May (Friday):

 

 

`You should be careful with her, you know, she doesn`t care about anything, that one.`

 

The stinging words were spoken with a desperate exasperation… Or maybe with an exasperated desperation, Courtney wasn`t sure. She inhaled, trying to find the calm in her step as she walked to her desk, her boss following closely. The firm was deserted, even though it usually wasn`t at 7 pm. Courtney may or may not have had to pull some strings to make that happen.

 

She had ignored the tiny hints Alicia was dropping ever since she had witnessed her asking Kalinda out. And Alicia didn`t care to be ignored. She didn`t care for it at all. And now, in the light of the starting weekend, her boss had clearly chosen to speak up.

 

The assistant wondered if the lawyer knew how possessively jealous she was behaving. But she shook her head while she retrieved one of the boxes from under her desk and turned around, almost bumping into Alicia in the process.

 

Without missing a step, however, Courtney made her way into Alicia`s office. It was time to let go of subtlety. It was time to take out the big hammer, and hit someone over the head with it.

 

Carefully placing the box on the desk and, herself, leaning against it, she indicated for the lawyer to sit in her usual chair. The casuality of Courtney`s movement must have taken Alicia by surprise, because the woman did not object while she took her seat, her eyes darting from the box to her assistant. For a moment, a silence –Cutting… Deafening- surrounded them, before the ebony-skinned woman spoke.

 

‘I have tried this a certain way. But I have to face that it simply doesn`t work… So, then, this is it. The ballgame is starting, so it`s time to pay attention.’

 

She had managed to speak the words much calmer than she had thought possible. The sadness that constricted her throat had made her voice hoarse, and she swallowed, when she took the first item out of the box.

 

`Let`s ease into this, shall we? Let me show you, the help.`

 

She handed Alicia a bundle of about 10 post-it`s, the handwriting on them clearly Kalinda`s. Courtney saw Alicia`s frown grow deeper as she read. The assistant may or may not have organized the pieces of paper in a special way.

 

The messages varied from ‘Get this to A. ASAP, please point out page 5.’ to the name and number of a witness who had, last minute, won Alicia a big case. From the number of the great place where she had had her car fixed to ‘Dissolve 2 in water.’. When Alicia read the last, her eyebrows rose in the confusion Courtney may or may not have already been expecting. She handed her boss the bottle of aspirin out of the box, and saw Alicia remember the especially rough bout of headache that had almost caused her to vomit before Courtney had brought her 2 of the little white pills, dissolved in water.

 

Alicia closed her eyes shortly in realization it had not been Courtney but Kalinda who had seen her pain and helped her battle it, when the assistant reached in the box again. But when she opened them again, they grew wide, the dozen small notes in her hand were nothing compared to the ones Courtney was holding and placed aside. The casual motion had its effect, the assistant saw. The impressive pile of sticky notes were a representation of the times Kalinda Sharma had helped Alicia Florrick, without asking anything in return.

 

That was one.

 

*****

`The protection.`

 

The assistant had mumbled the words, but suddenly noticed how focused her boss really was when she saw her reaction. The lawyer’s hands stilled, for a moment, before continuing their nervous stroke of the creased piece of paper Courtney had handed her while preparing her next move. The paper, which the assistant may or may not have found in Kalinda`s trash, was filled with names of clients who had, at the last moment and quite unexpectedly, joined Alicia`s side in a class action battle with another firm. She saw how the tip of Alicia`s finger followed the curve of Kalinda`s handwriting, and Courtney stifled a smile.

 

She grasped the USB around her neck as if it was an amulet. The cold feel of the small metal case gave her comfort in a way, and she grimaced as she thought she may or may not indeed see this device as a talisman. As she plugged it and found the file she was looking for, she felt her heart rate pick up.

 

Kalinda`s figure may not have filled the screen, the camera had been quite far away from her, but her fierce demeanor made up for that.

 

‘You didn`t tell me it was for *that*, I didn`t know…’

 

The words were clearly audible -albeit from afar- and it was obvious Kalinda was upset, but she quickly recovered.

 

‘Listen, I am not going to work for your campaign. If it`s for the firm, for any other client, fine, you pay, I do. But I do NOT work for Peter Florrick, do you understand me?’

 

The leather boots made their characteristic sound as Kalinda strode of, leaving the Eli on screen quite as stunned as the Alicia in front of it.

 

The scene changed, the same office was shown, but it was obviously another day and Eli was working, his hands seemed shaky while he searched, frustrated, between the papers on his desk. The sound of heels clicking made the crisis-manager look up.

 

`Kalinda?`

 

He spoke the name dismissive, almost cold, but with a hint of curiosity. It was obvious he didn’t expect any help from her.

 

The red file landed on his desk with a thud, but when he reached out his hand to open it, she interrupted him.

 

`Why didn`t you come to me?`

 

He hesitated, but then he opened the file. The tone in his voice a tad too casual to be believable. His eyes lit up by the sight of the information Kalinda had brought him.

 

`I thought you said you wouldn’t work for me, if it was for him.’

 

The investigator, her hand already on the doorknob, turned around. When she spoke her voice had a barely audible tremor.

 

‘This was not for him, it was for her.’ 

 

Alicia swallowed, and Courtney saw her remember the situation in which Eli had told her it was possible her affair with Will would be exposed. She also saw her remember the day the campaign-manager, with celebration in his eyes, had waved a red folder in her face and told her all their worries were over. Yes, Courtney saw Alicia think, but it was the man in the video who spoke the words that fitted the situation.

 

‘Well, I`ll be damned…’

 

Alicia swallowed, and looked like she was about to speak, but Courtney put up her hand to indicate her to wait. This was going to be a long ride, and the longer she could keep Alicia from protesting, the better it would be.

 

As she showed the woman the file that held the times and hours the Lockhart/Gardner employees had come and gone, she saw how the lawyer momentarily closed her eyes at the sight of Kalinda`s name, always, always, on the list below her. The in-house investigator had never left before Alicia, and, judging from the time (or lack thereof) between the lawyer`s sign-out and Kalinda`s , had most likely made sure she had come home safe.

 

The next paper that wordlessly exchanged hands was an email conversation with a flirty tone. The security-guy who had had a hand in arresting the vindictive ex-client was obviously not a man of many words, but he had managed to answer Kalinda`s plea in exchange for `Drinks`. The favor he had agreed to in return was an easy one, which was visible in the last sentence he had typed.

 

`Right, I`ll keep an eye on Alicia Florrick.`

 

 

Alicia fidgeted with the corner of the paper, her eyes softer then Courtney had seen them in a long time, but there was also a reluctance in her demeanor. A reluctance Courtney could understand –although she resented it-  and hoped to take away before the box was empty  . She hoped the next item, already loosely in her hand, would be a start, but she thought she knew where would be the breaking point. She inhaled deeply as she handed Alicia the document. Hoping she had chosen the correct evidence, hoping she was showing it in the correct order, hoping Alicia wouldn`t overrule this longwinded objection.

 

The official document was may not have been the hardest to obtain from all the objects in the box, but it sure had not been easy. She had been just in time to catch a copy of the warrant for Kalinda`s recent arrest, and the statement of the ex-client, who had accused her of setting him up – there also were certain mentions of threats, and an incident with a baseball bat-. She knew, thanks to interference of a certain FBI agent, the official, original documents had `disappeared`. The man had been locked up for an earlier crime for which just had happened to appear anonymously sent evidence… Courtney would have bet a whole lot of money on the guess that evidence had arrived in a red folder.

 

Would Alicia see what Kalinda had done for her? Which risks she had, personally and professionally, taken for her? Would Alicia finally see through which lengths Kalinda Sharma would go in order to protect her?

 

Courtney observed her boss from the corner of her eyes, and saw the swallow that indicated her questions could be answered with `Yes`. A more important question, however, -she knew it as soon as she caught Alicia`s eye- would NOT have an affirmative answer yet.

 

That question was: `Is it enough?`

 

***

‘And care.’

 

Alicia was squirming, uncomfortably, in her seat, but Courtney wasn`t even close to being done. She had chosen to do this, and she wanted to do it right, even if that meant losing her job. She may or may not have hesitated shortly now, her hand hovering over the items in the box. Was this really the right thing to do? Wouldn`t Kalinda… No, refrase, Kalinda WOULD kill her if she knew what she was doing, but, then again, that had always been the case.

 

Her hesitation cost Courtney, for a short moment, the upper hand, and she pulled back her hand as she heard Alicia`s trembling voice.

 

‘ Courtney, I think I see what you are trying to do here...`

 

The assistant turned, and before Alicia had the chance to finish her sentence, she had taken over, and she knew she didn’t show a shred of the doubt she had just been feeling.

 

‘Then let me finish.’

 

The certainty that sounded through her voice was what won her back Alicia`s attention, and Courtney was surprised at herself, for not having sounded harsh. There had almost been a hint of a plea, weaved through the words. Whatever it was that made Alicia sit back and swallow her protests, Courtney was happy she did so. She knew she wouldn’t be able to ward of the inevitable interruption forever, but the longer she could, the better.

 

She wondered if she would need to remind Alicia of the conversation that had taken place between Kalinda and Lana in front of the coffee machine, but she saw the recognition light up in the eyes she had gotten to know quite well. Finally able to follow the conversation she had earlier just been able to guess at, Alicia clearly forgot her earlier attempt to protest and leaned closer to take in every word. Words that hit home, the assistant noticed. The acknowledgement that it had been Lana who Kalinda had called to get her out of the trouble she had gotten herself into for Alicia`s sake, was obviously painful.Hearing Kalinda promise that she would call Lana later made the lawyer wince and turn pale, a response that wasn`t lost on Courtney and which made her smile, knowing what was coming.

 

`I am sure you will. If you`re not too busy `saving` *her*, that is.`

 

Courtney sensed Alicia didn’t need her meaningful look to come to the right conclusion, but offered it anyway, and some of the color in Alicia`s cheeks returned.

 

A color that immediately shot through the roof at the sight of the next item.

 

`How did you get THAT? I can`t even…`

 

Alicia`s voice sounded high pitched and almost panicked, but her hand nonetheless reached out to the little orange notebook. Courtney kept it from her though, and with a simple glare, prevented Alicia from any further action. She opened the notebook at the place she had indicated, and a bookmark slid out. As Alicia automatically reached for the piece of paper, Courtney bit the inside of her cheek in order not to smile. The note Alicia had once written, -a simple ‘Drinks?’ with a smiley face on a slip of paper after winning a case- was creased up, but obviously, tenderly, smoothed out again.

 

Small stains were splashed over the page Courtney had opened, and had made it hard to decipher the words. They were made by what could only be interpreted as tears.

 

This liquid, this
Fluid lights up.
Words I swallow for you.
They choke and scratch.
Sting as they chase
Periods and ellipses.
The nails of comma’s 
Claw at my throat.
Burn…

 

The poem was clearly left unfinished, but the raw emotion that radiated from it had touched Courtney to the core. She saw now it had a quite similar -if not stronger- effect on Alicia Florrick, whose lips were slightly parted, following the words as her eyes caught them.

Alicia sat, motionless, after she had read what Kalinda so carefully had hidden in the small, orange notebook. She stroked the cover of it, absentmindedly, and Courtney could see the turmoil in her eyes.

The assistant winced at the thought of what she was about to do now. Not only because it would add to the emotions so clearly visible in Alicia, also because it felt, slightly, as betrayal.

She had always known it would be needed, although she also had always hoped it would not be. It was a secret she had stumbled upon. It’s so easy, people always forget the help is there, and for assistants, it wasn’t much different. Yet it was a secret she had never been willing to use in any, especially not a negative, way. She had tried to avoid doing so now, but then again, Alicia already knew most of this. There were just crucial parts of her information missing. Parts that would, hopefully, make her understand. It was time to play defense, and hope the lawyer would join her ranks.

As she gave Alicia the box of the burn-cream Kalinda had left on her desk earlier that month, she saw how Alicia’s hand trembled. She was weakening, and she knew it, and this knowledge made the lawyer reluctant. There was a good reason why she held up her walls, a good reason to be hurt by what Kalinda -or Leela-  -or both- had done. Courtney could only hope her attack on Alicia’s defenses had worked so well that now, when she would do some defending herself, the lawyer would be willing to listen, and to open up, even if it was just a little.

‘ Courtney… You… You don’t know, what she did. You don’t know… It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that you don’t…’

The heartfelt, hurt, plea was interrupted when Courtney held out another box, very similar to the one Alicia still held in her hands. The same cream, the same brand, the same amount. But a different name adorned the prescription label.

‘Leela Tahiri.’

Alicia’s eyes grew wide and her pupils narrowed and dilated with dizzying speed. These eyes now shot to and focused on Courtney, who smiled weakly. The assistant’s eyes were dark, sorrowful, sad, she sensed it herself, but she couldn’t help it. When she placed the medical record on the desk, the lump in her throat almost became too much for her too bear, and she cleared it, avoiding Alicia’s astonished stare.

The lawyer should not be so surprised her assistant knew Kalinda once had been Leela. Blake had made very sure that someone would pick up on his constant refrain. But maybe Alicia’s surprise was not so much THAT she knew, but WHAT ELSE she knew. She had given the lawyer the information at a crucial point, trying to show her that she DID know what Kalinda -Leela- had done. And maybe, just maybe, this time Alicia had picked up on that subtlety.

With her still trembling hands, Alicia opened the file that lay before her. Courtney saw the eyes move. She saw them fill with shock, she saw them fill with unshed tears.  She saw them take in the burns, the scars. The bruises, the fractures, the collapsed lung. She saw them take in the different dates of these events, of these injuries. She saw them read the unlikely excuses that had been made. She saw them, as well, be closed as their owner realized she was not only reading about Leela’s death, but about what had caused her to die. To need to die.

That was the moment Courtney chose, she had only a split second to take the decision. To act. She felt like she was in a freefall, and could imagine Alicia felt the same. The assistant held her breath as she placed the official document in front of her boss, and watched her as the woman opened her eyes once more.

When Alicia’s gaze fell on the piece of paper, the lawyer physically pushed herself away from the table. Courtney almost straightened up, almost felt like she would have to prevent the other woman to leave the room, but the document beckoned, and Alicia, finally, responded. Taking the piece of paper, grasping it, holding onto it as if it was a life raft in an ocean of nothingness, she brought it closer to her.

Courtney knew she had instantly recognized her husband’s signature in the right lower corner. The signature that had authorized the identity-change that had been requested.

And Alicia finally had the answer to the question `Why?`.

It seemed to take a moment for the information to sink in. For a long time Alicia just sat and stared at the signatures. Her finger followed once again the ink, but it was Leela`s handwriting she traced. Leela`s handwriting, that was so different from Kalinda`s. So raw. So uncontrolled. Only one letter had remained the same. The sway of it, the way it was, almost, like a drawing of sorts… When Alicia reached the A, something changed in her. Something broke. SHE broke.

The sound the lawyer uttered was one of agony. Maybe it didn`t qualify as a scream in decibels, but the emotion in it made it just that. As raw and uncontrolled as Leela`s handwriting it cut through Courtney`s heart like a knife. The sobs did as well, but the assistant`s lingering hand was shaken off with determination. The reaction, the assistant may or may not have anticipated. The strength, the depth of it, she certainly had not.

As she watched Alicia ease away from her offered comfort, before with a sudden movement, actually bolting, she sat for a moment, stunned. What she had seen in the lawyer’s eyes, the unadulterated pain, the shock, the shame. But also, Courtney realized, something else, she had simply not been aware of. Something she had, even, been wrong about. Because what she had seen in the lawyer’s eyes was knowledge. A knowledge Courtney would have contradicted if anyone had told her just hours ago.

But now, she was sure.

Alicia Florrick knew, -and may or may not have known for quite a while already- exactly, what she felt for Kalinda Sharma.

***

Of all the things Courtney had figured once she had started bombarding the lawyer with evidence, this wasn`t one. She stared at her hands and shook her head. Yes, she had seen Alicia`s feelings, she had, even, counted on them. But, she had not considered them truly. It was not the pain of the cheating, or the lying about it that had made Alicia stay stubborn. It was the pain of being betrayed by the one you care the most about in the world.

 

And something Courtney had not seen, was how much Alicia herself had realized this. The woman, who had returned and now sat, pale and quiet, in her designated seat. The woman, who had hated Kalinda with all that was within her, but not just because of what she had done, or for deceiving her, but just for that… Because where one could argue there was no darkness without light, also there was no hatred without love.

 

Courtney swallowed, the lump in her throat constricting her airway, when Alicia looked up at her and so much spoke from those eloquent eyes. So many words were said, by the careful smile she sported.  The insecurity in both, heartbreaking.

 

`So, you really think she…`

 

Alicia seemed to hesitate as to how to finish the sentence she had so carefully started. And suddenly, for Courtney, this month, her project, became entirely different. Every speck of annoyance she had felt towards the lawyer, who had protected her heart with so much gusto, and now, obviously, was thinking about giving up, melted away at that instant. She heard her voice turn softer, and saw in Alicia that she noticed as well as the assistant finished the sentence for her.

 

`Cares?`

 

Alicia closed her eyes shortly and nodded. The tone in which Courtney had said the word left nothing to the imagination. They were talking about the same thing. With a gesture to the computer, the assistant asked, without words, permission to show her, to reveal yet another piece of evidence.

 

The sound-file may or may not have been recorded in a slightly illegal way.

 

`Sharma`

 

Alicia smiled surprised hearing the matter-of-fact way Kalinda picked up the phone, and Courtney saw how she glanced at her own mobile. She knew when the investigator took Alicia`s call, she had never sounded like that.

 

`Kali! Wow, so professional.`

 

‘Sophia, what can I do for you?’

 

Recognition made Alicia`s eyes light up at the sound of the name. A light, however, that also held a hint of jealousy. The distant tone in Kalinda`s voice however seemed to hold the green monster at bay. Sophia must have heard the coldness as well, judging from her answer.

 

‘Auch K.! What am I, your cousin twice removed? The last time I saw you, you seemed to finally have loosened up a little. What`s wrong?’

 

Kalinda sounded amused as well as irritated when she answered.

 

‘You are the one calling me, and now I am the one with the problem?’

 

Sophia sported a throaty laugh.

 

‘ You tell me, Kali, you tell me…’

 

The tone of Sophia`s voice had changed to flirtatious and Alicia swallowed hard, her teeth grinding.

 

‘Is your husband home yet?’

 

Kalinda`s icy answer made Alicia`s eyes shoot wide open. The sarcasm and even a hint of pain was clearly audible in the Indian woman`s voice. For a moment Sophia seemed, unlike before, to be unaware of this as she,happily, sniggered but her words proofed quite the opposite.

 

`You really HAVE changed, haven`t you? Why don`t you just tell me?`

 

`Tell you what, Sophia?`

 

Kalinda now was clearly annoyed, it was amazing how many emotions the woman could show with just a simple bend in her voice.

 

`Who the lucky lady is?`

 

The silence stretched on, heavy, poignant, and for a moment Alicia seemed to think the conversation had ended. When she opened her mouth to speak, however, the assistant raised her hand at the same moment Sophia`s voice broke the silence.

 

`It`s Alicia, isn’t it?`

 

Sophia`s voice, before so filled with humor, now sounded tender and understanding. And deadly serious.

 

Courtney saw Alicia hold her breath and lean in, slightly, for the answer, just as she had done when she had recorded the conversation. The assistant, already knowing what would follow, smiled. But the smile was bittersweet.

 

Kalinda`s sob made Alicia as well as Sophia gasp, the sound which seemed uncontrollable by its owner, heartbreaking to everyone who heard it.

 

Sophia put in words what Courtney had been feeling, and what she knew Alicia was feeling now.

 

`Stay there, I`m on my way.’

 

 ***

 

They sat there, silent, for the longest time, each with her own thoughts, each with her own reasons. Courtney had one piece of evidence left. She had collected more, but she had worked long enough in the legal business to know there could be such a thing as `too much`. Maybe she had already overdone it, now, but it seriously had felt as if Alicia had needed the metaphorical hammer to hit her over the head with it. Did she really need this last one? Courtney may or may not have been a scolding woman before this endeavor, but she sure was one now.

 

`Oh, what the hell.`

 

She mumbled the words and looked for the file. She needed to get Alicia out of stupor and into action, and this, this first piece of evidence she had collected, had done just that to Courtney herself. It had gotten her to do this, to risk her job. Would it make Alicia risk her heart?

 

When the screen filled with the image of Kalinda, making her way to the elevator, Courtney saw Alicia immediately recognize the scene. The lawyer knew what had just happened, how she had just broken up the friendship they had so carefully built. They watched Kalinda reach the elevator, trembling but trying hard to regain composure. Then, as the doors closed, she was momentarily out of view. Alicia looked at Courtney, her eyebrows raised at the screen that remained black.

 

`If you ever doubted how she felt about you, here it is. This is it, Alicia, it`s all I have left. It`s the ninth inning, the home stretch, and the rest up to you.`

 

She placed the piece of paper, that held the name and place of her date with Kalinda, in front of the lawyer and stood, her last action was to push the little triangular button that would make the video finish. She heard Kalinda`s breakdown in the elevator and Alicia`s responding gasp behind her, but she did not turn around. Getting to the elevator herself, she got in and turned. Just before the doors closed she caught the teary eyes of the woman she had come used to work for and, silently, saluted.

 

She saw it in those eyes. The love she had seen so clearly in Kalinda`s actions, in Alicia`s demeanor, had finally extended to those eyes.

 

And she knew.

 

Her work here was done.

 

.

.

.

 

 

 

 

Chapter Text

 

Assistance.

Epilogue.

Rain… She had not anticipated rain. Which was stupid because she was in Chicago after all, and to be honest, usually, Courtney anticipated almost anything. She wasn`t sure if it came with the job or with her personality, but she simply did. Her uncharacteristic behavior could only have to do with another anticipation she had been feeling. Putting up the hood of her sweater, she took shelter in front of a jewelry shop, hoping she wouldn't look like a robber. Actually, now that she thought of it, the rain was a perfect excuse to lurk.

Smiling, she got back to the business at hand. It was amazing to see Kalinda wait. When she herself was waiting for a date, she always got nervous, jittery. Kalinda… Well Kalinda was Kalinda. There seemed to be sporadic conversation with the bartender, and despite her confident demeanor –or maybe because if it- she was approached by some of the other costumers, male and female alike. She seemed kind, but adamant, as she refused each and every one of the drinks offered, and it made many patrons look at her with even more longing. After a while no-one approached her anymore. She just sat, in the small little bubble, the aura of mystery that always surrounded her. It was incredibly appealing.

Courtney was so focused on Kalinda that she hardly noticed Alicia`s arrival. Although not as much as Kalinda, the lawyer drew her share of attention, and rightly so. The simple red dress followed the curve of her body closely, and there was a sway in her walk that made even Courtney do a double take.

The assistant smiled, her heart pounding rapidly. She may or may not have glanced around to see if anyone was paying attention, and may or may not have pulled a pair of binoculars out of her bag.

Alicia swallowed as she, slowly, moved closer to the woman she loved. Courtney saw Kalinda feel her presence, saw her turn, saw her shock. But also saw she didn't make the link. For a moment, the confident, mysterious woman showed her pain, before sporting a resigning smile.

She watched them, for a moment angry with herself for not finding a way to follow the conversation, but she found she easily could. She knew Kalinda would first say the lawyer`s name, in the way only she could. In the way that said so much more than just the syllables. She knew Alicia would respond in kind, her voice warmer than it had been in ages. She saw Kalinda`s eyebrows raise, and could almost hear her heart skip a beat from across the street.

When she noticed Kalinda getting worked up, the assistant guessed Alicia must have said she -Courtney- wasn`t going to show. That she, Alicia, was her date for the evening. But then something she had not anticipated on happened.

Kalinda stormed out.

The lawyer stood, for the longest second in history, rooted to her spot before she turned and followed.

`Wait!`

The wind, the air, the rain, Courtney wasn`t sure what made the voices carry, but she was grateful for it.

`Kalinda! Wait!'

Courtney may or may not have gasped with Kalinda when Alicia`s fingers enveloped a delicate wrist. Kalinda`s voice sounded almost harsh had it not been for the sharp sting of panic that hinted through the tone.

'Let me go!'

'No.'

Alicia`s voice was calm, adamant and tender, and for a moment Courtney had to let the feeling roar through her chest before she realized it was pride.

`Let me go!`

The panic now sounded clearer through the investigator`s voice. But also something else. Something hoarse and constricting and painfully obvious –or was it obviously painful?- for those who knew how to listen.

'No!'

Kalinda swallowed and Courtney watched her avert her eyes, watched her try to remain the stoic woman who couldn't be touch, watched her try to hold on to the demeanor that protected her. Watched her, with every passing second, some closer to failing.

'What`s your problem?'

'You are.'

The answer, that had come within a heartbeat, made Kalinda as well as Courtney blink. All the lawyer`s emotions sounded through the words, but some were easier to miss than others. It was obvious Kalinda had heard the frustration, but not the tenderness when she answered.

'Yes, Alicia, you have made that very clear, so let me go!'

Now, successfully, pulling herself free from Alicia`s grip, it looked as if Kalinda was going to turn around, maybe even walk away. But something about Alicia –her eyes? Her demeanor?- made frehe investigatoreze. Slowly, tentatively, the lawyer took a step closer. This time not capturing, but reaching. This time not for a wrist but for a hand.

Courtney gasped when she saw their fingers touch, and Kalinda withdrew as if burned.

`I tried to, Kalinda. I tried to let you go. But I found out, I simply can`t.'

'Why the hell not?'

Kalinda`s question had been meant to come out harsh, cold. Courtney knew this because she saw, even from the distance, the distress in those dark eyes when it came out as barely more than whisper. A begging whisper at that. This time, Alicia`s reaching fingers found their match, entwined with them, tenderly.

'Because...'

Courtney may or may not have heard 3 words being whispered. She doubted if she had so herself. But maybe Kalinda had heard it as well, because she swallowed again, and now, slowly but determent, brought her gaze up and meet the lawyer's. Courtney guessed Alicia`s eyes said it all because she saw Kalinda`s grow wide. The reserve in them finally broken, they started to shine, brightly, in the light of the lantern that flickered above them. Kalinda swallowed again, and again, her battle against the tears, against the emotions that fought their way to the surface so clear in the hazy light. And then, Courtney watched her lose.

A single tear found its way down the investigator's cheek.

Alicia`s free hand pressed a lock of hair behind Kalinda`s ear, the fingertips lingering only to catch the glittering drop of water before finding the crook of her neck in a motion that was determent and hesitant all at the same time. Then, she watched how Alicia's lips, in a tormenting slow-motion searched for the ones they were meant for.

Courtney smiled as she witnessed the kiss say more than 3, or a thousand words.

She should have known.

No matter how nerve wrecking, hard, heavy, sad, dirty, painfully silent, spirited, predictable, fluid, impulsive, expensive, wet and daring…

Subtlety was highly overrated.

THE END