Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I didn’t really notice anything until summer. Petey had been excited about everything summer, since it’d been fifteen years since his last one; he would show up to everything in a polo shirt and shorts, rarely wearing anything other than sandals. It was a particularly hot day, and Jimmy, Pete, Jimmy’s new punk ladyfriend and I were all loitering around in some place in New Coventry that Jimmy inexplicably owned the key to. Suddenly, Petey piped up and suggested we go to the beach for the first time. The other two shrugged in lukewarm acceptance, but I pointed out, in my tactful way, that he was going to make everybody on the beach run screaming from the vicinity with that outfit. He just laughed. “Pft, yeah! They’ll never return to mortal Femme Boys again.” And so we’d all found ourselves at the beach. I hadn’t brought a swimming costume; it always seemed like a pointlessly dangerous activity to me. Why do something that puts your life in so much danger? Of course, Petey and Jimmy had taken to the water as soon as we’d gotten there. Zoe wanted to sit on the beach, which sounded about as much fun to me as having sand get in my clothes, i.e. not fun, so I sat on the pier, picking a spot near where the two took turns flinging themselves into the water. At first I read, but eventually I stopped trying to parse Slaughterhouse-Five and watched the two of them.

Jimmy was clearly playing for the audience (it’s not like we were the only teenagers who’d decided to take a dip), trying to make the showiest splashes or the flashiest mid-air maneuvers. I rolled my eyes; typical moron. Petey, at first glance, seemed like he was doing the same thing—trying to rack up the complexity of his diving over time. But as I studied him, his expression was very different than that of our friend’s. Rather than checking to see who was watching, Pete was just enjoying what he was doing for its own sake. He didn’t care if anybody else was watching. In fact, it felt a little… odd, focusing on him when he so clearly didn’t know I was looking. As if I was viewing something private.

After the hundred-millionth time, Petey hauled himself back up onto the pier and made his way over to me, collapsing next to me on the bench as he breathed heavily. “Phew! Man that’s… pretty exhausting… haaa…” But he was grinning even as he closed his eyes and leaned back, resting his weight on his hands as he panted. For some reason, my eyes were drawn to the rise and fall of his chest—how his muscles moved, changing the way the sunlight lit up the water still beaded on his skin. His nipples were erect, too. I frowned; why was I noticing this? He shifted suddenly, turning so his back was to me and his legs were stretched out on the bench. “Hey,” his head turned toward me as I quickly snapped my gaze to his face “do you mind if I lie down?” His face was a little flushed from all the exercise. I shrugged, leaning back on my hands myself as I looked out and watched what looked like the entire population of the town as they tried to drown themselves. There was a pause before he laughed a little awkwardly. “…I think that means no?” He then put his hands behind his head, lying down with an air of supreme relaxation. I flicked my gaze back to his chest. It was weirdly mesmerizing, watching him breathe. Eventually my eyes were drawn to a bead of water as it rolled down his side, rolling over his ribs… I swallowed thickly before nearly jumping out of my skin when he spoke again, this time saying “You’re being pretty quiet.” If he looked at me when he said that I didn’t know, because I had started staring intently at… something. But it wasn’t Petey’s fucking bone structure, whatever it was.

I shrugged before adding “Maybe I don’t have anything to say.” True enough, I suppose.

Petey snickered, and my eyes were drawn back to his expression. He was smiling, but his eyes were closed. “Yeah right, you always have something to say!” I snorted; how very true in his case. It was rather… odd, how well Femme Boy knew me. He acted like he’d known me for years, rather than months. Which he had, I suppose; time loops and all. But it made me feel like I didn’t even know him by comparison. I’d considered him a friend even before the start of the school year, but I hadn’t seen him in years.

“Only because there’s nobody else worth talking to, Petey.” I resumed examining his body, sweeping my gaze to follow the small line of hair that started at his belly-button before dipping into his trunks. I could hardly tear my eyes away. What the hell was I doing? To my horror, his eyes opened. I snapped my gaze to his face again—maybe he wouldn’t notice anything?

He frowned at me, saying “What do you mean, there’s nobody else worth talking to?”

I rolled my eyes at that; really, wasn’t it obvious? “It means exactly what it means, Petey—you and Jimmy are pretty much the only people I can stand to be around.” I snorted before adding “And in Jimmy’s case, that’s mostly because he makes for a handy GPS.” I smirked to myself, remembering how I’d completely underestimated the moron’s usefulness back at the beginning of the year. Sure, he isn’t the sharpest crayon in the box, but he’s freakishly good at navigation and his skill in Chemistry isn’t half bad—plus, his ability to punch things had not been oversold.

To my surprise, Petey got up and looked me full in the face. “Do you really not like anybody else, Gary?” Sheesh, was it really so surprising?

Laughing, I replied “Come on, Femme Boy—you’re the one who’s put up with us for a freaking decade. If anything, the conclusion to draw here is that you like us an unhealthy amount!”

He smiled a little sadly, shrugging as he laid back down. “Maybe you’re right about that.” I frowned. He wasn’t supposed to agree with me so readily like that. Angry yelling as the Preps and Greasers got into a massive splash-fight could be heard in the background as he resumed relaxing.

Studying his torso again, I found it mostly dry—the day was quite hot. But for some reason, I wanted to see the sunlight glinting off his wet skin again. My eyes landed on a birthmark a little to the right of his belly button; what would that brown patch of skin taste like? I blinked rapidly as that question entered my head. What the fuck? Did… was I seriously lusting after Peter fucking Kowalski just now? I dismissed that thought; of course not. No fucking way. Considering what I’d said earlier I asked “Hey Petey, why did you put up with us for so long?” He popped his eyes open at that before closing them and letting out a deep sigh. I smirked, turning so I was straddling the bench and leaning over him with my hands supporting my head with my elbows. “Oooh, sounds like a story to me!” I couldn’t see his expression terribly well from this angle since it seemed upside down, but oh well.

He sighed, averting his gaze. “Really, Gary… the story isn’t as interesting as you’re probably hoping.” I frowned. Why did he always insist on thinking of himself as boring? He was probably the most interesting individual on the planet, with the time travel!

I groaned, rolling my eyes as I said “That’s Femme Boy speak for” here I adopted a high-pitched mock-girly voice “‘Oh, I don’t wanna talk about it because I’m too busy knitting and having my period, waaa!’” Smirking, I let my head droop enough so that my eyes were positioned right over his. My smirk faltered when I noticed that his irises had little flecks of gold in them.

Petey closed his eyes and sighed, before opening them again and fixing his gaze on me. Inexplicably, I flashed on a song from a movie my nanny used to make me watch with her on Valentine’s Day: I swear that I can see forever in your eyes, paaaaaradiiiise… “Honestly, Gary, I didn’t have much of a choice.” He shrugged as I tried to stop that stupid fucking song from sounding in my head Almost paradise! We’re knockin’ on heaven’s door!… Petey continued talking and resumed eye-contact, blissfully unaware of my thoughts. “You and Jimmy were the only people willing to be friends with me throughout the year.”

I gave a ‘fair enough’ shrug as I leaned back and turned away from him. The song died down after that; thank God. Eventually, it became clear that Jimmy had vanished into thin air, and by ‘thin air’ I mean of course that he went off to that lighthouse to have sex with his girlfriend. Being the gentleman that I am I kindly offered to protect Petey from any rapists who mistook him for a girl on his way home, which made him roll his eyes and laugh. He had his towel and shirt flung casually over his shoulder, and he waved to me cheerfully before shutting the door as he entered his house. Right after he closed it I lifted my hand automatically before lowering it and turning to go back to my house without waving at all.

~~~

Later that night, the usual insomnia was due to an unusual source—thoughts of Femme Boy were keeping me up. Moreover, it was thoughts of him on the bench next to me that occupied my mind while I traced whirls in the wood above my head with my eyes for the umpteenth time: the image of his body splayed out, eyes closed, just begging people to rake their gaze over him. …What would it have felt like if I’d touched him? I slipped my hand into my undershirt, trailing my fingers down my own side—well, I doubted I would’ve felt so many bones; Petey wasn’t nearly as skinny as I was. But I closed my eyes and ran my hands over my chest, shivering. What would he feel like? Warm… and softer, probably. As I felt my nipples and ribs, I became aware of a needed to pee; but I knew what needing to go to the bathroom felt like, and it certainly didn’t involve the vague stiffening of a penis. I frowned; what the hell? Sitting up and throwing off the covers, I just stared at my sleight erection. Was this seriously happening? Thinking about touching Femme Boy of all people was giving me a hard-on?

…Or him touching me. I licked my lips as I thought about what would’ve happened if he’d been the one leaning over me today; if he’d brushed his fingers over my chest. Lying down, I closed my eyes and imagined that it was Petey’s hands running over me as I did so to myself—he’d probably have that expression he wears when he sketches, with this deep concentration as he studied my body. My breathing had sped up by now; maybe eventually his eyes would be drawn to the tenting in my boxers, and he’d bite his lip a little before looking up at me questioningly. ‘Do… do you mind?’ I shook my head vigorously; I did not mind. He smiled shyly before adjusting his position so he was closer to me.

I ran a hand over my boxers and nearly moaned—I had hardly ever touched myself like this before, and it had never felt like that. I kept my eyes locked on a spot on the ceiling as I imagined that the hands running over my clothed member were Petey’s rather than my own. Licking my lips, I pretended he tugged the band of my boxers down. I let out a sharp exhale when I was exposed to the cool air—who knew that made such a difference? He would probably look up with that ‘worried Femme Boy’ look he gets, where his eyebrows are all furrowed. I whispered “It’s fine, I’m fine.” That smoothed his expression and he smiled at me. He nodded before looking back down at my cock.

Here I hit a mental brick wall. Had Petey even had gay sex before? I made fun of him for that kind of thing of course, but… had he? I stared at the ceiling, feeling my heartbeat pound in my ears as I breathed heavily; fifteen years was a long time—it was possible that he’d had sex with guys before, but the experience I knew he had certainly wasn’t with another guy. He’d only mentioned in passing that he’d made out with Lola before, but had refused to go into more detail on the matter; something about ‘respecting her privacy’ or some such. A voice in the back of my head whispered that that probably meant he’d fucked her, and that was just a gross image. Ugh.

I felt blood draining away from my crotch, and I frowned; crap, I hadn’t meant for that to happen. Well… I didn’t know if he’d ever touched somebody else’s penis before, but I had little doubt that he’d masturbated. I propped myself back up and re-arranged the pillows so that I was able to lean against them. Thank God it was summer break; I’d never be able to do this if he was in the room. As I settled in, I pictured him kneeling on the bed in front of me; no shirt, just boxers—he averted his gaze from mine as he settled in. ‘I’m just… not really used to doing this in front of somebody…’

I smiled, slipping into ‘reassurance’ mode automatically. “It’s okay, Petey; it’s hardly different from doing it on your own, right?” He looked back up at me, smiling shyly.

‘I guess. But… it’s… kind of exciting, too.’ He licked his lips, and looked down at his boxers; they were starting to sport a noticeable bulge. Heat had rushed back to my own crotch by this point.

I ran my hand roughly over myself while I pictured Petey slipping his own hand into his boxers. “Y-yeah?” I whispered hoarsely. He nodded, getting up onto his knees and moving closer. Swallowing, I added “You like showing off for me, Femme Boy?”

He nodded again, but this time his smile was sultry and he whispered ‘Do you like watching?’ as he pumped himself with one hand and slowly pulled his boxers off with the other. In response I sped up my own stroking, but hissed when it was suddenly too hot.

“Fuck, ow!” I yanked my hand back, looking at my dick, frowning. Christ, that’d felt like getting an Indian burn! Hm… I needed there to be less friction. After thinking for a while about what I had on-hand, I started kneading the bottom of my mouth with my tongue, trying to produce more saliva. Eventually, I was able to spit some into my hand, rubbing it in. I grimaced—bleh, this was disgusting. But when I began stroking myself again I couldn’t give less of a shit how gross it was; it felt fucking awesome. I let out some breathy exhales as I got back into the rhythm, trying to remember where in my fantasy I’d left off.

Petey was leaning back now, his boxers pushed down so he was totally exposed. I imagined his gaze was locked onto me as he said lowly ‘So what do you want to do?’ I frowned—I actually had no idea what to do; I’d tried masturbation before, but it hadn’t really appealed. Sex didn’t generally enter my thought process unless it was for a practical reason, like to make fun of Petey, or to manipulate somebody into doing something.

I screwed my eyes shut, trying to think of what it was people did when they jacked off. Eventually, I whispered into the dark “Can… can you show me how to do this?”

I’d stopped trying to picture the sights, instead just imagining how his voice sounded like it was smiling when he replied. ‘Of course I can, Gary.’ He was probably the only person I knew that wouldn’t have laughed if I’d asked them to teach me how to masturbate. Not that I ever would, obviously, but that fact was enough to let me imagine it. Taking my own hands away, I paused before imagining that he was saying ‘Well, you’ve already got the lubricant down…’ I wrapped my hand lightly around my shaft, pretending it was Petey’s—the rush of blood made it twitch suddenly, and I flinched back. ‘Yeah, that can happen. Now, you don’t wanna go too fast; you need to build up to it.’ The hand began moving slowly up and down, and it was kind of unsatisfying. But I wasn’t sure if I should tell him to change his grip… ‘Come on Gary, you gotta tell me what you like! I can’t read your mind.’

Well that solved that problem. “Grip me harder. Um, please?” Wow this was awkward. But after that the grip on me tightened.

‘Is that good?’ I nodded. Oh, yeah; the tighter grip started at the base, and the increased pressure felt so good. Then the hand moved up along the shaft, gently massaging me.

I rolled my head back, muttering “Ooohh…” The grip would taper off as it got higher, and it felt like I was being squeezed like a tube of toothpaste—like all that stuff inside me was being coaxed out. And after the hand reached the end, it moved back down; “Aaaaaaaa” Shifting my hips in the direction of the grip let me increase the pressure and damn, there was a flood of saliva at the feeling. I was about to swallow before I stopped myself; licking my lips, I considered the stream of sensations from my crotch. More certainly wouldn’t be a bad thing. I muttered “Hey, I’ve got… uh, more spit…”

‘Oh, good; here.’ A hand put itself near my mouth, and I began licking it. ‘Mmm… yeah…’ I slowed down, making each lathering pass of my tongue as deliberate as I could make it. The hand was trembling now. ‘Oh man, Gary that feels so good…’ Christ, Petey saying my name; that was hot. Resisting the temptation to open my eyes, I slathered my tongue along the edge of the palm. What the fuck was I even doing? It’s not like I cared anyway; my mouth was practically dripping by now. Soon, though, I ran out of things to do—the hand had been fully coated, anyway. Reluctantly, it pulled away. ‘Later—you wanted to know how to jerk yourself, right?’ The illusion broke a little when I realized that I already had a hand pumping, and I wasn’t sure what else to try—would my other hand even fit? ‘It’s alright, Gary; just relax.’ But I couldn’t, there were too many variables!

I shook my head as I hissed “It’s too much…” And the hand retreated immediately. There, now at least I could consider other options. I breathed deep as I let the lingering heat of the friction from moments ago mix gloriously with the chill provided by the cool air and saliva. Licking my lips, I thought; what other vocabulary about masturbation had I even heard?

‘I can try messing with the tip, how about that?’ Right, the tip. I could feel that part of my anatomy throb in time with my heart as I nodded my approval. The hand returned, this time circling a thumb over the hole in the top.

The result was instantaneous. “uhhhhmmmm Peteyes” the other hand began pumping but I barely noticed with the spike of pleasure from the rubbing against the head. “…Yesss Petey yes more Pete fasterpleaseaaaaaahh!…” The hand moved faster and faster, and soon the world had shrunk to the blazing heat and the waves of pleasure that kept crashing over me; each one made me feel as if I was drowning. I started panting and letting out words in a desperate stream even though my vocabulary had suddenly shrunk to harder and yes and Pete. The sheer number of sensations made me curl up on myself, and I could vaguely feel my legs shaking as it just kept getting more and more intense; soon reality fell away utterly—all I needed was for his hand to keep moving. I moaned shamelessly for him; I groaned his name; I begged him not to stop to never stop. At some point I started shifting my hips so that there was even more pressure and I had never felt such a wave of pure bliss in my fucking life as I rolled my eyes into the back of my head and pressed my head back into the pillows as I groaned unintelligibly and for an instant it was like my being expanded and I felt everything before I snapped abruptly back, panting and trembling as the aftershocks tore through—

A loud BANGBANGBANG on my bedroom door made me snap my eyes open and freeze. “WHAT is that fucking racket!?” Shit, my dad; I scrambled to grab the covers that had long since been discarded, throwing the blankets over my head in the irrational and hopeless attempt to avoid his anger. After a few moments of tense silence he said “Come on now, what’s the rule?”

“…Be seen, not heard.” It was a little muffled by the covers, but I cursed myself for the automatic response.

“Good. See, son? You can manage to remember things when you want to.” I tightened my grip on the blanket, reminding myself that the last time I had used the anniversary as a taunt I had had to wear long-sleeve shirts for a week. I hated the icy fear that was filling my gut; it was stupid, it was not like I had ever been told not to do this. “Go to sleep, and I don't want to hear another sound out of you all night. Is that clear?” I was unable to stop myself from nodding. There was obviously no way he could have sensed my response, but he said “Exactly. Some of us are trying to sleep.” The sound of footsteps retreating down the hallway soon reached my ears.

A few seconds later, I could hear the distant sound of a door being opened and shut. I waited for a few more tense moments before crawling out from my makeshift blanket fort. My head hit the pillow a few moments later; there was nothing better to do, after all. So I ended up right back at the beginning—staring at my ceiling, mind restless. The only difference was that now, that ‘sex smell’ I had heard about permeated the space. I draped an arm across my eyes and grimaced; Goddamnit… tomorrow, I would have to see Petey and act like nothing had changed. I turned over, curling into myself. I could worry about that later—in the meantime I let the self-disgust crash over me as I finally drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Text

It took me a scary long time to figure out what was different with Scarface. Eventually I was a week in, and I realized I needed outside help; so I brought it up with Zoe one day post-fucking. I grinned and wiped my hand off on the sheets; damn, she’d been wet that time! “So, pretty good?”

She let out a satisfied sigh before shrugging and putting her arms behind her head. “Eh, not bad.” I snorted, lying across her chest.

“‘Not bad’ my ass, you loved that!” I mean, Zoe’s pretty quiet but she’d clearly been into it.

She grinned, and said in a grossly-sweet tone “Not as much as I love you.” That made us laugh; she’d said it so corny!

But that reminded me; right, the thing with Gary. “Hey, by the way, I think I need a second opinion on somethin’. Wanna weigh in?” Normally I don’t say that kind of thing around a girl—they can be real touchy about it—but that's why I like Zoe so much. She’s one of my best friends, not just some hot chick.

Though, as I played with one of her boobs, it was totally not a downside. She rubbed my hair absently as she asked “Yeah? What about?”

Hm. How to put what I'd been noticing… “You seen anything, I dunno, off about Gary lately?” She raised an eyebrow at that. I shrugged, adding “Yeah I know you’re not exactly friends with the guy, but I kinda wanted a second pair of eyes to see if I was bullshitting myself or not.”

She shrugged, giving a fair enough kinda look. While she thought, I took the time to really admire her boobs. They're not massive or anything, but I made sure to confirm that, yeah, still squishy. I smiled to myself; awesome. “Hm. Now that you mention it, he’s been a little more…” she snapped her finger like she was thinkin’. “Shit, what's the word? Adjacent? Abusive?”

She looked down at me with an eyebrow cocked and I shrugged. “Hey, don't look at me, I'm still stuck at English 3 even with Pete tutoring me.” She laughed, then started mock-noogying me.

“Aw, who’s my special little idiot?” I pushed her arm away, laughing, too.

“Hey, at least I can cook worth a damn. Unlike anybody else around here.” She snorted, rolling her eyes. The annoyance was pretty fair—I like bragging about that. But I hadn't even realized I was good at it until Pete got me that cookbook that had fuckin’ pictures instead of just words. Made me wanna know why all the other cookbooks Mom ever bought in a sudden fit of stupid where she wanted to look like a good wife or some shit didn't just show you what a tablespoon of cayenne pepper looked like. Speaking of which… I lifted my head off her belly. “Hey, you hungry?” I rolled out of bed (er… mattress) and made my way over to the bar of the beach house… thing. Whatever this place is.

“Nah, I’m good.” She sat up suddenly, clapping and pointing. “Abrasive!” She fist-pumped and added “Thank God; that was gonna bother me all day if I didn't remember it.”

I frowned as I rummaged around for the tortilla chips I’d stashed under the bar. “The hell does ‘abrasive’ mean?”

She started kinda shouting so I could hear. “Ya know, it's… like, you know how when ya brace something against something else it's like you're supporting it?” Finally finding what I was looking for, I popped back up from behind the bar, nodding as I vaulted over the counter. “Well, abrasive is like when you have a thing that can wear something down. Like… corrosive.”

I nodded as I sat back down, munching on a chip. “…so Gary’s being… like, an acid?” I frowned; that didn't make much sense to me—maybe I was noticing shit that wasn't there?

Zoe looked uncertain about that, though, so maybe I was just crazy. “Kinda? Haha, way to add the ‘-id’ to the end of that.” She started grinning cheekily at that, and I had to stop and think for a sec before I got it.

“Hahaha! Yeah, he’ll probably start burning a hole through something soon!” We both spent a few minutes giggling about that. Finally, I said “So you think Gary’s been more douchey than usual too?”

She grabbed a chip herself and nodded. “Yeah, I mean he fuckin’ went off on Pete yesterday just for tapping his shoulder. Dude needed to take, like, five chill pills.”

I nodded, crunching on a chip myself. “Yeah, but don't tell him that. Meds are kinda a sensitive spot for ‘im.” She nodded, just confirming I know that but thanks for reminding me. “…so why do you think he’s been acting so weird?”

She frowned thoughtfully. “Well it's probably got something to do with ‘Femme-boy’.” She put Gary’s pet name for Pete in air quotes.

I shrugged as I munched on a handful of chips. “Yeah, he’s clearly boning for Pete pretty hard. But why would he suddenly start being more dicky than usual?”

Zoe leaned back, supporting her weight on her hands as she drummed her fingers and thought. I started staring at the floor, thinking, too. Was he mad at Pete for something? If he was he hadn't said what it was. After a while, Zoe said uncertainly “Maybe… he's got some kinda shitty situation at home?”

I tilted my head at that. He had mentioned that his parents were one of his ‘problems’. “I can see that, but I don't really know how we’d know for sure.” Gary never talks about his past. Ever.

She reached out for a chip. “Maybe the heat’s getting to him or something. He is a pale motherfucker.” I scrunched my face up in doubt. Like yeah, that seemed like it could maybe be a thing, but…

I sighed, leaning back and looking up at the ceiling. “I dunno, man, I just feel like it's a bigger deal than that or something, ya know?” I thought back to all the times he’d been more ‘abrasive’ than usual this week; snapping at Pete for laughing too loud, storming off when Pete called it to a vote and we all wanted to go to the beach, knocking Pete’s ice-cream to the ground outta fuckin’ nowhere then suddenly apologizing for it… my eyes widened; “Hey, do ya think maybe he, like, didn't know he wanted to fuck Pete?” I shifted my head back down, and my train of thought got kinda de-railed when I saw Zoe licking salt off her fingers.

She smirked, sucking her middle finger in and clearly swirling her tongue around it. I licked my lips, recalling that same tongue working its magic a couple hours ago. She pulled her hand away pretty quickly, though. “Come on, how could he not know?”

I blinked. What? “Uh, who?” She shook her head and laughed, and I flipped her the bird even as I was probably blushing like a fucking virgin.

She rolled her eyes. “You know, has a big ol’ scar over his eye, can’t go more than two seconds without interrupting somebody…” Even so, when she was done she winked—a silent ‘don’t worry, there’s always more where that came from.’

I shivered before shaking my head a little. “Right, um, Gary…” I frowned, considering what she’d said. “Well, he doesn't seem like he's all that into sex… Hell, I've only ever seen him flirt with Pete.”

She snapped a finger and pointed at that. “But that's the thing, if he’s flirting with Pete he's gotta know what he’s doing, right?” She shrugged, adding “I mean, do you ever not know when you're flirting?”

I scratched the back of my head and crossed my legs. “Well no, but I actually, you know, have had sex. I don't even know if Gary’s even” here I put in some air quotes of my own “‘like-like’d somebody before, ya know?”

She frowned, giving it a little more serious consideration. “…but it's so obvious!” Even so, she held her chin thoughtfully. “It would explain things, though. It started right after the first day we went to the beach, right?” I nodded.

“Yeah, and Gary was clearly checking him out.” We’d high-tailed it outta there. Figured they could use the privacy.

She nodded again, slowly lowering her hand. For a couple seconds the sound of the waves and seagulls were the only sounds. “…Shit, you might be right!” We both looked at each other.

“…and he calls me a moron, sheesh!” I shook my head. Fucking hypocrite.

She snickered, but added “Hey, to be fair we should probably double-check. Be on the safe side and all.”

I nodded in agreement, getting to my feet as I went over to grab some clothes and actually get ready for the day. “Fair ‘nuff. I can try and catch him alone in the bathroom or something, try and get him to spill his guts.” I frowned as I pulled out a pair of tan shorts. Shit, tact isn't really my thing. Just gonna have to hope Gary didn’t get too squirrelly, I guess.

Zoe snorted when I tossed her a shirt and some pants. “Riiight, good luck with that. Jimmy Hopkins; master tactician.” When I stuck my tongue out at her, she just blew a raspberry in my direction as she pulled on the shirt I'd thrown her way. “Wow, way to be a petulant fuckin’ child, Jimmy.” I groaned; great, another word I'd never heard before.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Zo’. She flipped me the bird when her head popped through the shirt. I sighed as I pulled my pants on; I was just hoping Pete wouldn't catch on for some time yet.

~~~

Something’s up with Gary. Which, yeah, goes without saying, but whatever this is, it’s clearly more drastic than usual. I sighed as I shut the front door to my house, foregoing the usual bike to just walk over to the movie theater. It’s like back during the first loop, only this time it’s weirder.

Stuffing my hands in my pockets as I walked, the incident from the other day stood out most in my mind; I’d just been eating some ice cream and Gary’d randomly knocked it out of my hand. And not on accident or something, either—he’d slapped it out of my hand so fast that I had kept licking air for a second before realizing what had happened. I hadn’t even had the chance to say anything beyond a confused ‘uhhh’ before Gary had apologized. Well… kind of. What he’d said was more like “Shit, sorr—” followed by a few seconds of what appeared to be the brink of a mental breakdown. I had held my hands up, told him it was fine, accidents happen, and luckily he had dropped the ‘I’m dead inside’ look he got when that kind of thing happened. But it was clear to me that hadn’t been an accident; as an isolated incident, maybe. But I know Gary well enough to know when something’s up, and he’s been even more snappish than usual lately. Which kind of scares me, if I’m honest. I waved to a grownup as he passed by before dropping my polite smile, sighing to myself. The downside to being out of the loops is that, from here on out, nothing’s certain. I know Gary and Jimmy (and Zoe, to some extent) pretty well, but as time gets further and further from the end of the loops, they’re all becoming different people with different memories. I allowed myself a soft chuckle—I’m out of the loop. I frowned; I’ve seen Gary act kind of like this plenty of times before, especially after The Hole. By that point in the loops, he would usually be so off his rocker he would betray Jimmy no matter how many times I explained that Jimmy wasn’t conspiring against him. He’d say stuff like “I don’t need friends, friends are for the weak”, “You are such a loser”, or “Hanging out with that psycho? Psh, you really are pathetic” etc. But this behavior was different… I couldn’t quite put my finger on how, though.

Arriving at the movie theatre, I smiled when I saw the girl working the ticket stand. “Hi, Jane!” She looked up from furiously typing on her laptop, smiling when she saw me.

“Hey, Pete! How’re you doing?” She looked back to her screen for a moment, doing something while I talked.

I sighed “Okay, I guess… bit of ‘family drama’ lately.” I smiled to myself; that more closely described the situation than anything.

The freckled girl gave me a sympathetic look. “Aw, that’s too bad. Anything you wanna talk about?” I gave it a bit of thought.

That would be nice… this situation needed a bit of a colder eye to really analyze, and since I was stuck in it just as much as everybody else now I couldn’t exactly count on myself to be an impartial eye. Still, though. “Are you sure?” I eyed the computer when it emitted an alert noise that sounded like an alien beacon. “I know you like to keep in touch with the boyfriend…”

She blushed, but turned the computer off. “Sure, but I’ve got time for my friends too, of course! Plus…” She leaned near the hole with metal plating over it that seemed universal at movie theaters. I put my ear near it indulgently. Whispering, she said “it’s Tuesday. Tuesday morning. Nobody goes to the movies on Tuesday in the morning.” She leaned back suddenly, adopting a very friendly smile. “Good morning, sir!” I stepped aside quickly for the man and woman who had come up behind me—an older couple, by the looks of things. Their names escaped me, but I knew they were the grandparents of a couple of the Preps. I smiled politely at them as they made their way into the theatre, and they nodded politely back. Then, stepping back in front of the booth, I gave Jane an ‘are you sure you don’t want to take that foot out of your mouth’ kind of look. She shrugged, adding “Well, except old people. Tuesday is senior day, and you get an early bird special if you see a movie before twelve. Soo…” She leaned forward again, resting her head on her hands with what I thought might have been an overly-eager face for what I had to say. “What’s the drama in the fam?”

I sighed. Where to start? “Well… I’ve got this friend?” She nodded, encouraging me to continue. I leaned my elbows on the counter as I kept talking. “And… they’ve been acting kind of strange, lately.” She frowned, tilting her head in a questioning manner, so I added “See, they’re not usually a nice person; they have a lot of mental hang-ups, so I get it when they sound judgmental or rude.” I shrugged even as she frowned skeptically. “I don’t mind that stuff, honestly.” And I don’t; I’ve gotten too used to Gary over the years to get hung up over stuff like him calling me girly or making fun of my sexuality or whatever. It was just what he does. “But lately h—they’ve been acting… more mean than usual.” I frowned, looking at nothing in particular as I added “Well, it’s not quite the same as how they usually act. Usually they do stuff like make fun of me to make them feel better, you know?” Jane adopted a horrified expression and I shook a hand in a placating manner. “It’s fine, it’s just what they do—I’m used to it.” I continued my explanation, hoping that if I just got to it she’d drop the pitying look. “But what they’re doing lately is different; they get angry when somebody does anything minor, like bump into hi—them by accident or, I dunno, eating ice cream wrong.” I stopped, letting that sink in.

Jane looked pensive for a moment before asking “How long did you say this has been happening for?” Then she added “The extra-mean behavior, I mean.”

I thought about it for a moment. It’d started around the day we’d gone to the beach (there wasn’t too much to do in this town, after all)—and that had been last Thursday. “About five days, I’d say.”

She nodded. “Okay. Um…” here she scrunched her face up in thought, before saying slowly “I think the important question here is to ask why this friend of yours is acting like this.” She tilted her head at me, asking “Do you have any idea why they might be doing this?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know for sure. I have some ideas? But I really don’t want to assume; I’d rather do something that doesn’t involve me getting into their business. They’re a pretty private person.” She nodded, like she thought that made sense. “I mean, if I just come out and ask them directly I know they won’t tell me—they’ll just weasel out of it with some explanation for that particular instance and not the bigger picture, ya know?” I sighed as she nodded again. Being friends with Gary really can be a chore sometimes. “I guess… what really worries me is that there might be something very wrong.” I crossed my arms on the counter and leaned closer to the glass. Jane looked so sad for me; I really am lucky to have so many good friends. I continued quietly “Like… suicidal thoughts, or a death in the family, or something equally dangerous? And the fact that they’re not telling me scares me.... Like they don’t trust me.”

The silence hung for a bit as the distant sound of seagulls and the town buoy made themselves known. Eventually, Jane hung her head. “I’m sorry that you’re needing to make these kinds of choices, Pete… you’re so young.” I half-smiled at that; I wasn’t quite as young as I looked, but oh well. She lifted her head, continuing “I’ve had similar situations with friends… where I find out after the fact that they were hurting or in trouble but I hadn’t said anything because they hadn’t said anything.” She closed her eyes, and I could see her ball a fist up. I reached through the hole at the bottom of the ticket-taking window to touch her hand as best I could; she gave me a grateful smile as I pulled away. Taking a deep breath, she straightened up and continued “Even so, there isn’t really anything you can do to make your friend ask you for help—all you can really do is make sure they know you’re there for them if they need you. One of the best things you can do is provide a sympathetic, non-judgmental ear, you know? Not trying to advise them, just… listen to what they’re going through. You know, if they want to talk about it.”

I nodded slowly as I considered her advice. Seemed reasonable. Still… I sighed when I’d absorbed it all. I smiled a little sheepishly, adding “Part of me was hoping you’d just tell me to slap them in the face and tell them to cut it out.” We shared a laugh about that—some days it was a very thin line that kept me from doing exactly that. When we were done, I took a breath and straightened up. “But thanks for the advice, Jane; I really needed that.” A mini-reality check that, like me, Gary’s human; he’s doing this weird stuff for a reason, no matter how obtuse that reason may be, and if he didn’t want to share it that was okay—I can still be there if he needs a friend.

Jane grinned, a wide, happy grin rather than the professional smile that she’d given the old couple earlier. “Aw, I’m glad you feel better! So, what movie did you want to see?”

I laughed; I’d forgotten to even pick one! “Um… I dunno, what’s good?” I hadn’t seen any of the movies now—they were all new, which was exciting, but I’d seen enough trailers for the Transformers movie to want to punch that Shia LaBeouf kid in the face. That one didn’t come out until tomorrow, though. I knew because I’d only seen the previews a half-zillion times before 300 and that dragon one—they sure love to point out that the release date was July 4^th. ‘Remember kids, if your parents don’t take you to see it they aren’t American!’

She straightened up, looking excited. “Ooh, Live Free or Die Hard is a fun popcorn flick!” I leaned over, looking at the whiteboard that displayed the movies playing for the day, and at what time. Bullworth is honestly pretty lucky to have a 3-screen theatre for such a small town. “I haven’t seen Ratatouille, but it’s a Pixar movie and it’s gotten pretty good reviews, so that’s bound to be excellent.” She looked behind her at the list of films for herself, thinking. “Mm… Ooh, yeah, Sicko was pretty depressing, but definitely good to see.”

I frowned. I had no idea what that one was. “What’s that about?”

Jane gave me an even look. “Michael Moore documentary about American healthcare.” I grimaced; that sounded interesting, of course, but… she laughed at my expression. “Yeah, I feel you.” Then she straightened up and adopted her ‘customer service’ face, quickly adding “Good morning! How can I help you today, sir?” I stepped to the side, looking back at whoever’d walked up.

To my surprise, it was Gary. “Oh, hey man! Geze, way to say ‘hi’!” I snickered—typical Gary to just walk up to somebody without even greeting them.

He shrugged, his hands stuffed deep in his pockets. “Aw, but I couldn’t bear to interrupt you and your girlfriend’s talk, Femme Boy!”

I rolled my eyes; of course. Jane, however, beat me to the punch. “Um. Who’s…” she was looking between the two of us with confusion.

I pointed at myself. “Yeah, ‘Femme Boy’ is me. Oh, right, have you two met?” Jane shook her head, amused to see that I was excited, but I couldn’t help it. Introducing my friends to each other feels so more natural, now that I don’t know how the interactions play out! “Gary, this is Jane—Jane, this is Gary! Um…” I tried to think of something they both had in common, but couldn’t think of anything. So I resorted to plan B, saying how I’d met them. “Gary’s my roommate at Bullworth, and Jane gives really good movie recommendations.”

Jane gave Gary a warm smile. “It’s nice to meet you!” I swallowed nervously when I saw his expression, though; the bags under his eyes indicated a severe lack of sleep, even for him.

Chuckling at Jane’s greeting, he leaned an arm on the counter at the booth, grinning toothily as he said “Wow, you must be new around here if it’s ‘nice to meet’ me.” He then looked Jane up and down from his new angle before adding slyly “And, correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t you a bit, ahem, old for our little Petey?” and here he reached out to grab my arm, presumably to drag me into center-stage for the performance. But his hand flinched when he made contact with my upper arm, and before I could blink he’d jerked his hand back and shoved it deep into a pants pocket. It didn’t seem like Jane noticed, though; her expression had shifted to one of confusion—the ‘I’m not sure if this is supposed to be funny or insulting’ face people so often sport when Gary talks with them.

Guess that was my cue to step in. I clapped my hands to interrupt Gary before he could say anything else. “So! Gary, what movie did you wanna see?” At his name, he seemed to flinch a little. What’d I do now? Luckily it didn’t seem to be too big a deal, since he leaned to the side a little to read the whiteboard without argument. As he read, I relaxed a little and added “I hear Ratatouille is really good.” Then, more to myself I said “Haven’t seen a new Pixar movie in a while!” The only reason I’d been able to see any on the big screen during the loop was because of ‘audience screening night’, where people would bring their own copy of a film from home to be shown on the big-screen.

Jane nodded. “Yeah, and the last one was Cars.” She made an ‘ew’ face and blew a raspberry; I laughed, even though that wasn’t quite what I’d meant.

Gary interjected with a question. “What’s this… Black Sheep thing? Says it’s a horror movie?” And he fixed Jane with a bit of a stare. I’m pretty sure that Gary doesn’t stare at people like that specifically to creep them out; he doesn’t even seem to realize it’s weird.

…But at the same time, I was also pretty sure that he would’ve found it funny that it creeps people out. Jane handled it pretty well for somebody who’d never met Gary, mostly going “Uhhh” for a few moments where she tried to determine if Gary realized what he was doing and that it was weird before thinking maybe she was being weird about it and turning back to look at the board herself to delay the issue. I had had that exact thought process many times. “That’s… Oh!” Then she turned back around, an amused look on her face. “Haha, yeah, that’s the owner’s pick. She really likes horror, and her wife is from New Zealand.” She then paused at the blank look I and Gary were both throwing her way before adding “It’s one of those movies where X critter gets a super-gene injected into them or something and goes crazy, basically becoming like zombies. This one’s about sheep in New Zealand.” Ooh, okay. I nodded slowly at the dawning comprehension.

Gary then quickly turned to me and said “You know, that movie sounds fun Petey!—wanna see that?”

I rolled my eyes at his shit-eating grin, sighing as I said “Come on dude, you know I don’t like horror movies. Besides, that sounds kinda dumb, you gotta admit.”

“You’d have to wait until seven to see it, anyway, I’m afraid.” Gary snapped his head over to Jane, who shrugged. “Usually horror movies are popular with people going on dates, so we keep those kinds of showings to the evening.” I nodded—that made sense; I’d read somewhere that going through a traumatic experience helped build trust, and horror movies are a good way to do that on a first date.

Gary, however, lowered his voice. “And just what are you trying to imply?” That was a threat despite the casual tone—I looked over at him, and he had crossed his arms and was leaning forward.

Unfortunately for her, Jane couldn’t tell how close to his danger zone she was. “Imply? I wasn’t implying anything, I don’t think—”

Gary let out a bark of laughter and a cruel smirk at that. “Oh, clearly. From what I hear, not thinking seems to be a specialty for cashiers.” I nearly groaned in frustration. Jesus, it wasn’t even noon and he was already being a massive prick.

Pulling out my wallet, I pushed twenty-five bucks under the window. “Two for the ten o’clock Die Hard movie, please.” I sighed as Jane blinked before nodding and began typing in the theatre computer. “Feel free to ignore him, he’s just being an asshole.” Then, turning to Gary, I asked “Jimmy and Zoe’ll probably like that one, right?”

As the tickets printed out and I looked Gary in the face, the other boy cycled through a variety of expressions so fast I couldn’t quite pin down what his thoughts were. By the time Jane was pushing the tickets through the window, he’d wiped his face of any emotion. “Well Gary, I don’t know what other people say, but it was very nice to meet you. I hope you both enjoy your movie!” I thanked her, and moved to head inside, with Gary trailing after me.

Once we were in the air-conditioned theatre, I snorted. “Wow, way to make a first impression there, Gary.” Then I held out one of the tickets to him as I looked over at the arcade. Honestly, this was the real reason to come to the movie theatre; most days we’d buy a ticket for one movie and then spend the rest of the day playing games at the arcade. Plus, I like how I can soundly kick everybody’s ass at DDR and Street Fighter. I’m not good at a lot of competitive stuff, after all. When I glanced back at Gary, though, he still hadn’t taken his ticket; he was holding his hand out, like he expected me to hand it to me. I frowned as I placed the ticket in his hand. Something wasn’t right about this. I sighed—now was probably as good a time as any. “Listen, Gary…” He blinked, stopping his furious staring contest with the floor to look up at me. “I know something’s wrong, okay?” The other boy stiffened, but I kept talking despite that. “I don’t know what it is, but I know there’s something.” Stuffing my ticket in my pocket, I held up my other hand in an ‘it’s okay’ gesture. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but I just want you to know I’m here if you wanna talk, okay?”

At first, Gary didn’t visibly react, instead just staring at me intently. Then, he said quietly “Why’d you pay?” I blinked. What?

I shook my head, replying “‘Cuz you were being an asshole? You don’t have to pay me back or anything....” Crossing my arms, I tilted my head questioningly “But can you cut the bullshit for a second and just say whether you wanna tell me whatever it is that’s messing with you?” I lifted one eyebrow, waiting for Gary to get his head out of his ass and say something. He just shook his head, not looking at me. I sighed a little; I’d expected as much. “Okay, then. Just lemmie know if you wanna talk.” At least he hadn’t gotten mad. Then I gave a lop-sided grin, adding “Hey, since I paid, how about you pay for the arcade?”

Things went mostly normally from there on out, with Jimmy and Zoe arriving just in time to go see the movie with us. Gary and Jimmy sat together, and me with Zoe. I hadn’t gotten to know her much over the loops, since Jimmy only really befriended her near the end of the school year, but she was super fun to talk to. Turns out she’s quite well-read, so she often has a lot to say about things—even if she claims the only reason she reads is boredom. We spent a happy hour and a half critiquing the movie together; I hadn’t actually seen the other Die Hard movies, so Zoe filled me in. Finally, we came out of the movie and hit the games. I wasn’t sure what Jimmy and Gary had talked about, but Gary was somehow even more wound up than he had been earlier. I tried not to groan; great, that meant Jimmy knew something. Or Gary thought he knew something. But I thought back to my conversation with Jane, reminding myself that it’s not my place to make Gary tell me what’s wrong with him; he had to tell me himself.

Soon, though, things took a turn for the weird when Jimmy asked “Hey, you guys wanna go to, um, the carnival?”

I shrugged, saying “Sure, sounds fun.” Gary didn’t give any sign that he’d heard beyond a very distracted nod.

After leaving the theatre, though, Jimmy suddenly slapped himself in the forehead. “Oh shit! I forgot, we’ve got a, um…” here he looked at Zoe “aaaa budget. Meeting.”

There was a moment of silence while everybody processed this declaration. Zoe responded first, nodding in agreement. “Oh yeah, totally forgot. Very important meeting. Gotta balance our expenditure and deficit.”

I blinked, and started snickering as Jimmy waved goodbye, Zoe hot on his heels. “Well, see you guys later! Oh!” Then he walked up to Gary, grabbing his hand and looking at him pointedly as he shook his hand. “Have fun, man.” He then backed away, throwing a mock salute.

As I giggled harder at whatever the hell was going on, Zoe shouted over her shoulder “But not too much fun!” before the pair disappeared from view.

Chapter Text

Petey was giggling like crazy as my fist closed around the object that Jimmy had slipped into my hand. I didn’t bother looking at it as I stuffed it hurriedly into my back pocket, hoping to God he hadn’t noticed anything; figures the moron would have condoms on-hand. There were a few moments of quiet as Pete reigned in his laughter before putting his hands on his hips and adding “Welp. That was a thing that just happened!” And he started moving in the direction of the carnival. “Shall we?” I didn’t follow for a moment. Then my brain screamed at me to FUCKING MOVE already, and I was following in Petey’s footsteps while he talked about something or other; I was too busy thinking back to my conversation with the moron from earlier in the day to listen to him.

Fucking typical that Jimmy Goddamn Hopkins was somehow able to see the only thing I was trying to hide. He’d, at some point in the middle of the movie, leaned over and said casually “Hey, so… Pete’s pretty cute, huh?” It was lucky for me I hadn’t been drinking anything at the time because I absolutely would have started having a coughing fit.

As it was, I’d shrugged and responded “If that’s what you’re into, I suppose.” I thought I did an admirable job keeping the panic out of my reply. If Jimmy was able to figure it out, there was no telling how quickly Petey could catch on.

But he’d surprised me. “Yeah! Think I should tap that?” Whipping my head in his direction, I wasn’t able to keep the momentary shock out of my expression before I narrowed my eyes. He raised his eyebrows and shrugged at me, grabbing another handful of popcorn as he talked. “I mean, the thing Zoe and I got’s pretty casual, you know?” Finishing his chewing, he leaned my way and lowered his voice a bit. “And that kid’s got fuckin’ perfect skin, ya know?” And as he was grinning at me he licked his lips lewdly.

Before I realized what was happening I’d grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him forward so I could growl “You touch him and I will fucking end you, moron.” I only had a moment to appreciate the fear in his face before realizing I’d just shot myself in the foot.

Jimmy’s eyes darted to look at where Petey and Zoe were as he whispered “Whoa, dude, chill! I’m just messing with you, okay? Christ…” and he extracted my hand from his shirt. Even so, he leaned closer as he continued “Look, man; if you’re boning for Pete so hard, when’re you gonna ask him out?”

I blinked, the sound of an explosion from the screen sounding in the background. Leaning as far away from him as I could while remaining in my seat, I said “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Hopkins.” And I resumed watching the movie, even though I couldn’t care less what was happening to some bald guy and his reedy little hacker sidekick.

Something that sounded like a slap came from Jimmy’s seat, and I glanced over to see him with his hand on his forehead. To my horror, he moved up the armrest and scooted closer to me as he said quietly “Come on, dude! I know you call me a moron, but I’m not deaf—you’ve had a pet-name for him since we met!”

I snorted at that. “Pet name? What, ‘Femme Boy’? Last I checked that was an insult.” Still, though; a part of me shriveled to think that Jimmy might have actually figured this out before I had.

He clicked his tongue in annoyance “Oh, bullshit, Gary; I saw you yesterday—your eyes were fuckin’ glued to his throat when he was drinking that soda.” He looked at me incredulously before rolling his eyes and adding “Seriously, if you’d been lookin’ at me like that I’d-a been on my knees in a heartbeat.”

I blinked and processed his statement before staring at him in disgust. “What the fuck? Get away from me!” He shifted away, though not as far as I’d have liked.

“I’m just sayin’, man.... Look—” here he glanced back to where Petey and Zoe were sitting, and his expression turned sympathetic. I felt my insides curdle in disgust at the pitying look he was sending my way as he continued “Askin’ somebody out isn’t easy, I get it. But’chya gotta put yourself out there, you know? You can’t just let this kinda shit fly under the radar, it’ll fuck everything up!”

To my immense relief, I saw the credits begin to roll. I hissed “I don’t need pity from some fucked-up, fatherless bastard” before putting my hand on his face and shoving him back, slipping out of my seat to meet up with Petey and Zoe. Oh his piggy face had been pissed, for sure.

“Gary? Hellooo?” I blinked, and noticed a hand waving back and forth in front of me. It turned out to be Petey, who gave a lopsided grin when I looked at him. “Geze, Gary, you’re gonna make me go deaf with all the talking you’re doing.” I shrugged. God, he was adorable. My mind frantically tried to come up with something halfway intelligent to say, but it was far more interested in watching the way his mouth moved as he dropped the grin down to a simple smile as he backed away from me. “You comin’?” I shivered as I followed him, remembering him saying something very similar in one of my fantasies. He nodded after seeing me move and turned around to open one of the gates to the carnival—and even as my eyes were dragged magnetically downward to look at his butt I narrowed my eyes.

This couldn’t be a coincidence; did he know what Mr. and Mrs. Moron had done? Having some grounding to base my thinking off of helped me cling to reason even as hormones demanded I rake my gaze up and down Petey’s backside. My toehold on sanity finally allowed me to say something bordering on intelligent. “So, what do you wanna do first, Femme Boy?”

He slowed down, hands casually shoved in his pockets as he glanced at me while we strolled down the main thoroughfare. “I’m down for pretty much whatever. What do you wanna do?” I swallowed thickly, looking away quickly. I could think of some things I wanted to do.... Or people. It must’ve shown in my body language somehow, because Petey then said “uhhh…”

I interrupted with “How about…” my eyes fell on the baseball-themed game “that one?” I strode over without looking at him because if I did I would’ve wanted to grab him and if I did that I wouldn’t want to let go. I leaned on the counter as that fat Greaser Hal attempted to throw some shots. “Wow, greaseball, you throw like a girl!” I grinned at him as he threw me a pissed-off look. Ah, sowing the seeds of chaos; always a fun pastime.

“Hey, watch yer mouth, rich boy.” He leaned closer to me, and I could smell his breath. I wrinkled my nose in disgust as he continued “Sittin’ on your skinny ass’d probably kill ya.”

I leaned back, coughing and waving my hand to ward off the smell. “Ugh, do you ever brush your teeth?” Throwing a pitying look his way, I added “Then again, I suppose you and Edna are rather suited for each other!” I smirked as his face turned red with rage. He couldn’t fight me here, not right in front of the attendant for the game. And he knew it.

But then Petey walked up beside me. “Hi, Hal; oh, is Gary being a prick? Sorry about that.” He looked at Pete, frowning.

“Shit. Your friend, right?” Petey nodded, and he sighed, annoyed and muttering “Fine, fine… you’re lucky you’ve got nice friends, dickface…” as he stormed off.

I groaned, shoving Petey as I added “Goddamnit Femme Boy, can I not have any fun with the morons in this town anymore?”

Here, Petey gasped and covered his mouth with his hands. “Oh my God, Gary, do you hear that?” and he held his hand up to his ear, looking off into the middle distance. I frowned, trying to listen. Then he leaned forward, and his face split into a grin. “That’s the sound of me not giving a shit!” He leaned back, laughing. I blinked, but Goddamn if that wasn’t contagious. I joined in, and soon we were both in stitches. Eventually the guy at the game had to tell us to fuck off or buy some balls or something, which just sent a fresh wave of convulsions through my body as I stumbled away, laughing harder than I had in… a while.

The next few hours, though, quickly drained my good humor away. He knew, but he wouldn’t just come the fuck out and say anything! He would… touch me, tapping my shoulder or tugging on my shirt to get my attention. Because apparently he doesn’t know how to say ‘Hey, look over here!’ like everybody else on the fucking planet. And he’d do other things too, like asking me if I was okay, giggling, biting his lip, just… teasing me! Don’t even get me started on the way he ate cotton candy; all tongue, letting it melt in his mouth, licking leftovers off his face. God I hated it. Well… that wasn’t entirely true; there were multiple occasions where I had to make my excuses to go to the bathroom when I felt a bulge growing in my pants. But I hated how he wouldn’t even comment on that, just nod in his ‘oh I’m so understanding’ Femme Boy way and wait patiently doing something else while I fapped my fucking brains out as quietly as I could. It was torture—knowing what I wanted so badly was right there but that I could never have it. I could feel myself balancing on a knife’s edge, trying to keep it under control but at the same time knowing I was only a breath away from just giving in and shoving him to the ground and doing… doing something, I didn’t even know what!

The straw that broke the camel’s back came when I was just making casual conversation and had said something questionable. Apparently. And of course my eyes were glued to his lips as he licked them before biting a little, sending blood straight to my groin again. But that wasn’t all, oh no! A few seconds later he, and I swear to fucking God in Heaven this is true, started moaning. I shoved him away as hard as I could, glowering as he stumbled and fell. “STOP. Just stop it!” I had my fists clenched and my arms were vibrating; I hated how weak my voice sounded, like I was begging. “Stop fucking playing with me like this!” He couldn’t possibly be doing all this stuff by accident! Petey is smart, and he knows me better than anybody else. There was simply no way he didn’t know what he was doing to me.

But he looked up at me with a ‘that was so hurtful why would you do that’ look and said “Wha… playing with you?” Using the wall to pick himself up off the ground, he gestured over to the carnival games. “Isn’t that the whole point of coming here?”

I breathed heavily for a couple of seconds before I started laughing coldly. “Oh, that’s just hilarious, Petey! That’s tooootally what I meant!” I lowered my voice to a snarl. “Just admit it, Pete; you must be having sooo much fun torturing me.” I grinned cruelly as Petey blinked, trying to absorb the fact that I’d caught him in his little game. “See, I was wondering why you were still hanging around with me—all that talk about having to settle for being friends with somebody like me?” I shrugged and added “Now that you’ve got real friends, what do you need me for?” Here I laughed; “But I finally figured it out! You keep me around to mess with me, don’t you?”

Petey’s face had taken on a look of horror that just pissed me off. He answered me after stammering “Wha… you… G-Gary, of course I don’t! What are you talking about?” Oh that was just fucking rich!

“Save it, Kowalski! I know you.” His face turned even more horrified at that. “You think you’re so FUCKING perfect!” I started walking up to him, and his back hit the wall as I advanced. “Oooh, look at me, I’m Peter Kowalski, I’m the only sane motherfucker in this hell-hole!” Planting my hands on either side of him, I leaned in and started whining “Oooh, my crazy roommate is the only one who’ll be friends with me!” I was closer to him than I had been in a week and the proximity buzzed just under my skin as I leaned in to whisper “Let’s make him wanna fuck me, won’t that be hilarious!?” and I could feel his body pressing into mine and it was so warm and inviting as the buzzing ratcheted up to become a hum that spread over every inch of my skin as I finally gave in and pressed my lips onto his. God it felt so good. To my delight his mouth opened shortly after, and I was able to move my tongue past his teeth. My eyes slid shut and I lapped him up like I was dying of thirst; it was a lot less spacious in there than I would have expected. I could taste a little bit of cotton candy as I desperately roved my tongue inside the small space. Either way, the sweet taste was overwhelmed by the general ‘watery’ flavor; not what I expected either, but I didn’t care. Was what I was doing even sexy? Who the fuck knew, I just wanted more. My hands moved from the wall to ball themselves in the front of his shirt as I deepened my exploration; all those times this week I’d caught myself staring at his lips and jaw while he talked with a formless wanting suddenly translated to a very concrete need to memorize everything about his tongue and teeth and taste. I moaned; I had never thought something as disgusting as another person’s mouth could feel so good. As I moved my head so I could try and actually lick the back of his throat our noses rubbed uncomfortably together. The contact reminded me of reality a bit, enough so that I was able to notice when Petey started jerkily moving his arms to push on my shoulders. Coupled with the lack of response from his end, that confirmed my suspicions. I smirked as I pulled back even as I felt my chest clench painfully at the rejection. As I stepped back, I said hoarsely “Aw, but Petey, I thought this what you wanted!” I licked my lips as I examined him. The best word to describe his expression eluded me; bamboozled, flabbergasted, and ‘wuhbuhhhhh!?’ all came to mind.

“Wh-wha… whaaaat!? Haha, okay…” here he held out a finger and put his other hand on his forehead as he tried to gather himself. “Okay, just…” He started laughing a little hysterically before continuing “Gary, is this” and here he gestured frantically between the two of us “what you’ve been so upset about this past week?” And he looked at me with such an imploring expression that I honestly couldn’t find it in me to think that he was messing around.

Still, though; I laughed a little desperately and said “Well what the fuck else would it be?”

To my annoyance, his expression turned thoughtful. “…that would explain the sudden aversion to touch… I guess…” A few moments of contemplation filled with the sounds of the carnival surrounding us passed before he snapped a finger and pointed at me. “Wait, is that was what the ice cream was about!?”

My lip curled up, and I growled “Well it’s hardly my fault you looked like you desperately needed a fucking cock in your mouth right at that moment.” His eyes widened to the size of saucers at that and he held his hands up.

“Whoa! Whoa, that’s um…” Clapping his hands together, he averted his gaze awkwardly as his cheeks took on a red tinge “Uhhh haha, wow… yeah.” I made a mental note to try and embarrass him in the future (because he looked adorable) before I realized I probably wasn't going to be talking to him again, ever. He rubbed the back of his neck before shaking his head, looking back at me, confused. “Wait, so… are you saying you… want to ask me on a date?”

My jaw worked furiously as I tried to say something. Eventually I managed a desperate-sounding “What I’m saying is I want to have sex with you!” I was hardly so arrogant to assume that Petey would want to fucking date me. Shaking my head, I turned on my heel and headed toward the exit; no point sticking around now.

Unfortunately, Petey decided to follow after, saying “Wait, what? Hey! Where are you going?” I shrugged. All I knew was that I didn’t want to stick around for this. “Gary, will you just fucking WAIT for a Goddamn second!?” I felt him grab onto my shoulder, which made me seize up and turn around to shove him back. To my surprise, though, he anticipated my shove and stepped to the side just in time to dodge it before quickly snatching up my arm before I could turn away. “Gary, listen to me. You are one of my best friends, and I am not playing with you, okay?” He’d begun staring at me intently. It vaguely occurred to me to think so that’s what it looks like when I do that as he continued talking. “I don’t… well, I’ve never really considered whether or not I’m, um, attracted to you…” Here he frowned uncertainly as the blush returned, though less extreme than earlier, before continuing. “But… I’d be willing to, I dunno, try it out?” and he stepped closer to me, winding one arm around my waist and draping the other on my shoulder. My breathing stopped entirely as he leaned closer to my face, his expression uncertain before he leaned in and pressed his lips onto mine. I had tried to avoid imagining him kissing me, since I couldn’t replicate that on my own; but I had ended up spending an inordinate amount of time on it anyway, and it was exactly like how I had fantasized—lightly pressing his mouth onto mine, shy and uncertain; pure Femme Boy.

At that moment, my logical brain suddenly decided to join the party and start screaming at me that I had no idea what I was doing. Was I not doing enough? Where was I supposed to put my hands? Was I allowed to add tongue to the mix? What about—my panicky thoughts were interrupted when he moved closer, and his mouth opened a little to brush his tongue along my lower lip. I groaned, my arms automatically coming up to wrap around his neck and sucking it into mine so I could taste more of that warm, soft tongue. It felt weird to taste Petey in my mouth but oh I wouldn’t have traded it for anything. He explored me much less desperately than I had him, taking the time to massage our tongues together, which dialed the heat quickly pooling between my legs up a few notches. Petey clearly knew what he was doing better than I did, since every swipe felt assured and practiced—he had the technical aspect down pat. I shuddered as I felt him brush the roof of my mouth; I let him dictate the terms of the kiss for now and used the down time to loosen one of my hands from around his neck and start exploring the rest of his body. At that moment, though, he retreated and pulled away. I was tempted to tighten my grip on his neck to keep the sensations going, but I wanted to see his face. So I dropped my hand to his shoulders as he leaned back. We were both breathing heavily, to my surprise; as I watched, his flushed face broke out into a huge grin, which was, to my mind, the best part. He shook his head a little and laughed, and I commented breathlessly “Wow; Petey…” which just made me want to kiss him again because holy fuck I just made out with Peter Kowalski.

He snickered bashfully when I said that, rubbing the back of his head. “Uhhh, thanks? I guess?” The blush had deepened even more, which prompted me to start nuzzling his face. “Hahaha, um oh-kay?” I had been so utterly certain that Petey would never want me that a large part of me was still banking on the last… shit, few seconds being a crazy dream; well, if it was I never wanted to wake up. Eventually, I kept my forehead rested against his, just looking into his eyes. I wasn’t moving, but my mind and body were on fire; it was like the first week that I’d fully stopped taking my meds, with my thoughts flying everywhere at the sheer possibility and feeling like my skin had pop rocks fizzing just beneath the surface. It was exhilarating—Christ, if this was what kissing people was like I could see why Jimmy did it so often. Somewhere in the haze of adrenaline Petey said uncertainly “Um, maybe we should get out of the middle of the path?” He moved slowly back from me as he talked, adding “We’re… kind if in people’s way.”

I blinked as he moved away, only noticing now that we were standing in a rather public place. As he dropped his hand from my waist and moved further away, I slid my hand on his shoulder down his arm to grasp his hand. Brushing my thumb over the scar on the back of his hand, I said absently “Mm, you’re probably right, Petey.” Then, as we started moving toward the exit, a light-bulb went off in my head, cutting a swath through the haze of hormones, at least a little. I smirked, a plan quickly forming in my mind as I began pulling him along. “Yeah, actually!” He stumbled a little as I picked up the pace, but the fizzing had died down to just where I was touching him and I wanted that tingling feeling to engulf my body again. Looking at him over my shoulder, I grinned as he made eye-contact after straightening up at my burst in purpose and speed and said “Let’s go someplace that’s a little more secluded, hm?” His eyebrows went up a little before I turned back around to open the gate to the carnival to leave.

Tightening his grip on my hand, he said as we left “What did you have in mind?” I looked back at him, licking my lips at the calm expression he was sporting… unless you were looking for the sleight color in his cheeks.

I would rather castrate myself with a rusty spoon than bring anybody to my house, and I figured there would be some way to sneak into his. “I could probably climb that tree in your yard....” I frowned, thinking of how the hell I was going to climb a tree.

To my surprise, he started laughing. I turned to look at him as we were walking down the tunnel, and he said “Or maybe we could, I dunno, ask my parents if you could stay the night?” I blinked; would that really work? He laughed harder at my expression. Rolling his eyes, he added “What, did just asking not even occur to you?” I turned around to avoid eye-contact, because it had not, in fact, occurred to me to ‘just ask’. That set him snickering as he pulled up alongside me to peer at my expression. “Oh my God, it didn’t!? Hahaha!”

I shoved him, sacrificing the electric hum of his hand to remind him that I did have some pride. “Shut up, Femme Boy.” He stumbled, but didn’t fall down—nor did he stop laughing.

He dialed it back to giggling as he hooked his arm into mine, rolling his eyes as he added “Oh, Gary—you’re such a fuckin’ basket case!” I narrowed my eyes at that, but his close proximity set the arm he’d grabbed buzzing all over again and I kind of stopped caring that he’d technically insulted me. Instead, I wrapped my other arm around him, pulling him in so I could kiss him again. Damn, that was fucking intoxicating.

Pulling back, I whispered “Aw, but I’m your basket case, Femme Boy.” Licking his lips again and moving us toward the wall of the tunnel, I felt the pop rocks spread from my mouth down the rest of my body as I pressed him against the wall and began exploring his mouth again in earnest. I wasn’t even sure I’d be able to make it to his house; especially not after he moaned when my leg pressed against his growing erection.

I shuddered—holy fuck that was hot. How could I get him to make that sound again? While sucking on his tongue I began moving my knee experimentally, assessing what motions made his breath hitch and tighten the grip he had on the back of my shirt. Eventually I stopped kissing him altogether, instead pulling back to watch his expression change. His face was screwed up, almost like he was in pain—but the way he was pressing his head back as he let out some breathless moans spoke volumes to the contrary. A few minutes in I slipped my hand in-between my knee and his crotch. There was only so fast I could move my leg, and I had gotten much more practiced at moving my hand hard and fast over the past few days. He seemed to like it, because he gasped and bent his head forward so his head was pressed against my shoulder. “Uhhh, Gary, fuckkk…” Holy Christ he’d said that just the way I imagined him saying it! The pop rocks went wild at that, pulsing in a wave that reverberated over my whole body.

I wanted to be able to keep hearing him, but I also wanted to taste him again.... I turned my head to purr “Say that again” in his ear before settling for licking the expanse of his neck he had exposed. As I ran my tongue along his throat, I was delighted to find that I could feel the results of my handiwork in the form of swallowing, and tiny exhales that would’ve been lost otherwise, and how he clenched his jaw slightly when I began lapping at it. Sadly, it seemed he hadn’t heard my request. So I reached down and pulled his shorts and boxers down, leaving nothing between him and my hand. As I did so, I said again “Please, Petey… for me?” I shivered a little at that—saying his name felt almost as good as hearing him say mine.

I paused for a moment to coat the palm of my hand in saliva (I would never make that mistake again). While I did so, Petey caught his breath a little and replied in-between pants “Huh? What?” I smirked into his neck—knowing that I was able to do this to him was making me so fucking hard. Speaking of which, I began running my hand over his hard-on. Heh, it felt almost like when I did it to myself, just at a different angle. At that, though, he paradoxically seemed to wake up. “Whoa, um, hey, whoa!” He straightened his head and yanked his shorts back up, whispering “Come on man, not here!”

I frowned in disapproval as he pushed me back and wriggled away, the fizzing dying down again as I whined “What? Why not?” What was his problem? Even as he moved away I could see the massive bulge in his shorts. Licking my lips, I forced myself to look up at his expression.

He had stepped back, his face turned away as he slid over on the wall. Bringing up a hand to rub his arm, he said quietly “Look, I… I don’t know if I wanna go that far.” Before looking up at me with a worried expression.

The next few moments were filled with the sound of our heavy breathing, the turning of the fans in the tunnel, and the distant sounds of the carnival. Apparently, I was supposed to respond. I straightened up, scanning Petey up and down, kicking my brain as best I could in an effort to remember what he’d just said. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to formulate a response. “What does that mean exactly?” Petey’s expression shifted to confusion before quickly transitioning to realization. Well, that was an improvement, at least.

He shuffled his feet before saying “Before I answer, can you tell me how much experience you’ve had with, uh, sex before?”

The understanding Petey from my fantasies whispered in my brain, but now I was terrified that he wouldn’t live up to what I’d pictured. Still, though—if he’d wanted to screw me over, he could have easily done so by now. I crossed my arms, giving him a patronizing look. “I had my first kiss, I don’t know, a few minutes ago. So not much.” To my relief, Petey simply nodded.

“Okay, then I think I should explain some things before we do anything else.” Pushing off the wall, he gave a little half-smile as he added “Sound good?” I shrugged; it seemed like I didn’t really have any other choice. He smiled anyway as I followed, though.

Chapter Text

I breathed a sigh of relief as the door to my room clicked shut. That had certainly been an enjoyable meal, but—my chest suddenly hit the door and hands ran over my sides as Gary growled in my ear, “Finally, I thought that would never fucking end” as his tongue made its way all over my neck. I shivered a little at the sensation; I’d had some sex before, but only Lola had ever really been as forward as Gary was being—and where Lola had other ways to get her fix… Gary didn’t. I shut my eyes, letting out a shaky breath as he moved his hands under my shirt and started… was he counting my ribs? In the meantime, I heard him chuckle darkly and whisper, “You like that, Femme Boy?”

That made me want to groan in annoyance; seriously? Still the insulting nick-name? I managed to turn around so I could grab his hands as I commented, “I don’t much care for the nick-name, no; why do you still call me that?” While I talked, I tugged him over to my bed.

I had not been prepared for this—some bile rose in my throat as I recalled the parallels from where I tricked him into taking his medication. Still, it was a relief to know that he wasn’t trying to commit suicide; I’ve never see him actually do something like that, but there was something in his expression lately that reminded me of the hopelessness in his eyes from the loop where he got put in Happy Volts early.

Of course, then he’d kissed me. Which, uh. Wasn’t what I’d expected. Honestly it was such a shock I was still reeling a bit. Still, as I watched his slightly dazed expression while we moved through the darkened room, I certainly wasn’t complaining. I smirked a little to myself as I snapped on a lamp by my bed—who knew all it took to get Gary to look confused was tolerate a little groping?

He recovered pretty fast, though. As I put my hands on his shoulders and gently pushed him to sit on the bed, he snickered. “Aw, what, don’t like your pet-name, Petey?” I snorted, rolling my eyes. Pet name? Since when was that a pet name?

I shook my head—we could talk about that later. “So our conversation kinda got cut short.” I was surprised to find myself straddling him as we sat on the bed; if I’d had to guess, I’d have pegged (cue snickering from Jimmy here) Gary as on-the-top kind of person. But it felt natural, and he didn’t object, so it was probably fine.

There was a large part of me that was deeply amused to see him so distracted—usually he’s so focused and controlled. So, getting to watch him practically salivate was kind of hilarious. Absently he said, “Mm, I suppose that’s true…” and started slipping his hands under my shirt and tracing patterns on my abdomen. I wasn’t sure what to do with my hands, so I draped my arms over Gary’s shoulders as he occupied himself with feeling me up.

For a few quiet moments, I just closed my eyes and let myself feel the hands running over me. It had been a while since anybody had touched me like this; I’d forgotten how nice it is. Then, taking a deep breath, I said, “Yeah, about the ‘consent’ thing?” I opened my eyes again, checking to see if Gary was paying attention. This is important stuff, after all. He nodded, but didn’t seem interested in what I was saying, since he was too busy frowning at the shirt I was wearing. Natch. Rolling my eyes and removing one arm from his shoulder, I snapped my fingers in front of his face a couple of times. “Hellooo? Earth to Gary? This shit’s kinda important, man.” Couldn’t keep the amused smile off my face, though—this is seriously comedy gold.

He blinked and looked up at me in mild surprise before sighing dramatically and ceasing the groping, crossing his arms and falling back on the bed. “All right, all right, fine.” He smirked, adding a snide, “What would your royal Femme-ness like to discuss?” That gave me pause. …Royal Femme-ness?

I gave a little laugh as I settled in, supporting my weight on my hands. “First of all, that’s really not your best work, Gary. You clearly should have said ‘her royal Femme-ness’.” I grinned cheekily when he scowled at me. Looking down at his already considerable erection, I took on a more serious tone and continued “And now that you actually know what consent is… do you know what I mean when I say I don’t know if I want to go that far?” As far as I’m concerned, Gary’s still an enigma. Hell, I’d known the guy for fifteen years and hadn’t ever considered the idea that he was interested in me romantically. So the last thing I wanted was any kind of confusion or vagueness. That would almost certainly come back to bite somebody (probably me) in the ass.

Gary frowned, thinking for a few moments before he uncrossed his arms and propped himself up. His head was a little below mine, since we’re nearly the same height now, but it worked well enough. Cocking his head to one side, he gave his signature ‘scan’ of my face before saying slowly “You… don’t want me to give you a…” He raised an eyebrow. “Handjob, right?” I sighed, nodding. I know it’s silly, that most guys ‘my age’ (and even a lot of guys my actual age) would be happy for the opportunity to get off, but there was… there was a lot to process about this whole ordeal. I didn’t want to rush into this unprepared—for fuck’s sake, it’s Gary; I’m not about to just throw the friendship I’d worked so hard to build under the bus. Besides, I figure if all else failed, years down the line we could write this off as teenagers messing around if it didn’t get too serious. He let out a huff, lifting one hand to run over my shirt, pausing when he reached a nipple. “And does that mean you don’t want to give me a handjob, either?” I felt kind of bad that I was putting such a damper on his first ever sexual encounter. I still nodded, though; if I didn’t tell him what I wanted, that’d be pretty douchey. His eyes narrowed a little, and he returned to fondling my nipples with a thoughtful “Hm.”

I waited a few seconds, but it didn’t seem like he was going to elaborate. “So… is that okay?”

After I asked, he stopped his tweaking and looked me straight in the eye. “So what you’re saying is anything with fewer than two layers of cloth between a penis and the other party’s hand is a no-go?”

I blinked rapidly at that—as always, Gary managed to say something I hadn’t expected. “Umm…” I gave it some thought, checking his expression for mal-intent. Didn’t seem like it; not that that says much. “Yeah, that sounds about right, I guess.”

Gary nodded, expression still neutral as he pulled himself so he was sitting more fully on the bed. “Well, that still leaves us plenty of options, doesn’t it?” As he talked, he pulled my arm with him, and then walked his fingers up the arm to my shoulder, smirk growing all the while.

I let out a mental breath—good, he was looking at it positively. Hardly a given for Gary. I was a little surprised at the sultry look he was gazing at me with, and how I actually kinda liked it. I’ve never really found other guys attractive before—sure, I’ve masturbated to thoughts of gay sex, but that’s more about understanding the anatomy better rather than any desire to actually get with another guy. Or maybe not—maybe I’ve always been into guys, and I’ve just never been able to act on that; or maybe it’s because Gary’s my friend that this is all so enjoyable? Licking my lips, I tilted my head in a nod as I commented, “True, true…” Impulsively, I reached behind my head to grasp at the hem of my shirt. While I talked, I pulled the shirt over my head. “Did you have some ideas, or…” When I was able to re-establish eye-contact with Gary, his expression reminded me of those old cartoons where a cat licks its chops as it looks at a bird or a mouse and its head fades into a tiny roast chicken. I added quietly, “…do you wanna follow my lead?”

I swallowed as I folded the shirt. I felt a little… giddy without the small amount of protection offered by my clothing. As I shifted to set it down, my shorts and underwear felt a little tighter than they had earlier. Gary eagerly started running his hands up and down my bare chest, laughing breathlessly. “Ha, ‘some ideas’ is a bit of an understatement, Petey.” I lowered myself a little—he wasn’t being all that shy, which was in pretty stark contrast to when I got to first base the first time. Even so, it didn’t seem like he really knew what felt good. He was experimenting wildly; one pass of his hand was feather-light, and another was tapping a bizarre rhythm that I’m sure made sense to him.

I flinched when he suddenly started pressing into my skin really hard for some reason. “Ow! Not that hard....” He pulled his hand back from my ribcage, pausing before he brought his hand up to his mouth, licking his fingers before using the wet digits to trace some sort of pattern on my chest. My heart suddenly started racing, and I let out a breathy, “Oh—yeah, that’s... good” as he continued. I closed my eyes, letting the soothing sensation of hands tracing lines on my chest wash over me—man the way the touches lingered with his saliva…

Gary whispered, “You like that, Petey?” One of the hands retreated as I nodded, half-opening my eyes as my breath shortened further. I saw him slather his tongue all over his hand before he shifted me forward and resumed rubbing my chest. “I’ve been thinking about you almost non-stop these past few days, you know.” I leaned forward, tired of supporting my own weight, instead resting my forehead on Gary’s. He hardly seemed to notice, simply taking the opportunity to start lapping at more of my skin. In between licks, he continued, almost to himself. “How it would feel to touch you…” He lowered his head and was dragging his tongue all over my chest now and, while weird, the sensation was oddly pleasant. “…how you’d touch me…”  I shifted so my legs were on Gary’s either side, and I was actually sitting down. That put my face closer to his, and he suddenly wrapped his (still saliva-slicked) hands around my shoulders and waist to pull me closer and kiss me with the same hunger that he’d had before. But I got distracted by the movement to get me closer to him, which had rubbed our erections together and wooow that felt great! I moaned into Gary’s mouth, tightening my grip on his body as I moved to try and replicate the friction.

But as I tried to shift my hips forward, his entire body shuddered and curled in on itself, his mouth separating from mine as he bent his head and let out a weirdly animalistic sound. Oh crap, did something happen? “Shit, are you okay? Are you hur—” but then something was rubbing my dick through my shorts and the rest of my sentence was lost because, I mean, a hand other than my own on my dick was, erm, still a novel experience. “—urrrt ooohhh…”

A few moments later though, it lightened considerably, and Gary said hoarsely “Pete. I need you to do something for me.” We were both panting—though I wasn’t sure why he was so breathless. I nodded anyway; I wanted more friction, but I was actually more curious about what Gary’s deal was. He smiled toothily at my nod. “Perfect. Petey…” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before seeming to force himself to speak. “I… need you to say my name the same way you did earlier, in the tunnel.”

I blinked. Back in the tunnel? Gary was looking at me neutrally as he rubbed me very gently—keeping me hard, but not enough to really work me up. I tilted my head, trying to think of what I’d said earlier. It was kinda blurry, though. I said slowly, “I don’t think I remember that exactly… but I can give it a try?” His eyes narrowed at that—apparently that wasn’t the correct answer.

He shrugged, saying, “Let’s hear it, then.” And he shot me such a superior look that it just made me laugh. It’s just like Gary to challenge somebody, even during sex! “Something funny, Femme Boy?” He was glaring, now. Naturally.

I rolled my eyes as I shifted my hips, trying to increase the pressure. “Yeah, you, duh; mmmmm…” Suddenly, he started shifting his hand so that I couldn’t get any friction. “Hey!” I wined and rolled my eyes. “Come on Gary, that was a compliment?”

He shrugged as he moved away. “A shame I don’t feel complimented, then.” I blinked, then bit my lip trying to avoid laughing at his pissy expression.

I looked down at my erection to distract myself. Hm… well, another time then. I turned around and slid off the bed—should probably brush my teeth and stuff before going to sleep. “Okay, okay, sorry; I didn’t mean to ‘offend’ you.” As I moved toward the door, I added, “You can use my toothbrush if you want, by the way, it’s cool.” But when I turned back to him, he looked horrified for some reason. “…What?”

He uncrossed his arms and started gesticulating wildly as he stammered incoherently for a few seconds before finally saying, “Y-you can’t just leave!” while gesturing to his own erection. He started crawling toward the end of the bed, closer to where I was standing by the door. “Petey, please…” The desperation in his voice was, frankly, more than a little disturbing.

I bit my lip before looking askance and saying, “Look, I don’t really know what you want me to do, exactly.” His face screwed up in confused desperation for a couple seconds before I put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, explaining this stuff can be kind of hard.” I shrugged, giving him a smile. “And hey, if I did it once I’ll probably do it again—then you can point it out, right?” That stopped the weirdly helpless expression, at least. Eventually he nodded, and I allowed myself a relieved breath. Now that I don’t know outcomes directly, interacting with Gary requires even more of those patented mental back-bends I had developed over the years. “All right, so do you wanna brush your teeth and stuff first, or…” He gave me a long look before shaking his head, shifting back to lie down with his hands behind his head. I rolled my eyes, but smiled despite myself as I left the room. That was a ‘plottin’ stuff’ face if I ever saw one. Hm… so… did I want to let him sleep on my bed and I sleep on the floor, or should he take the guest room? Gary probably wouldn’t want to sleep in the same bed as me—he doesn’t exactly seem like the ‘cuddly’ type.

Finally done, I returned to my room to find somebody rooting around in my closet. From the depths of the clothes, I heard a muffled, “Hey Femme Boy, what’s…” and his head poked out, along with something in his hand. “…this thing?”

I scoffed as I rolled my eyes and pulled the door closed. “No, that’s fine Gary! You’re welcome to dig around in my personal junk. Really, don’t worry about it.”

His eyes narrowed, but he replied without missing a beat. “Why thank you Petey. Now, what the hell is this?” I finally focused on the thing in his hand, and I felt myself break into a grin.

“Oh man, those’re my old Sonic PJs!” I walked over to him, taking the soft shirt and pants, drinking in the familiar patterns of my childhood. “Haha, wow, I haven’t seen these in years.” Knuckles, Sonic, Tails, and the Chaos Emeralds were printed on the old flannel pants—I’d been pretty disappointed when I unwrapped them (Christmas and all), but I still wore them practically every night for years before I outgrew them.

Gary, meanwhile, was peering down at them with the air of somebody trying to decipher a foreign language. “Sonic? What, that old video game?” That made me laugh.

“Old? Dude, they still make Sonic games! Unfortunately…” I glared at nothing in particular for a couple seconds, thinking about one scene in particular which shall not be named from the game my parents had got me over the loop for Christmas. Shaking my head, I took the hanger for the clothing in his hand and gave Gary a grin. “Trust me, man—don’t get me started on the Sonic franchise. I will talk your ear off.”

As I was occupied putting the hanger back in the closet, I felt arms wrap around my waist as he hugged him from behind. I still wasn’t wearing a shirt, so the warmth from his body was undeniably pleasant. He whispered, “Aw, you’re welcome to talk, Petey” as he nosed my hair. I felt kind of frozen as Gary’s arms tightened a little and he muttered, “mm you smell nice.”

I felt like if I moved, that would break this weird spell of quiet that had overtaken the room. I whispered when I responded. “Uh… thanks?” Eventually, I leaned forward a little, managing to return it the closet. I shut the door too, but by then he had plastered himself even closer to my body, and I wasn’t sure how he’d respond to moving somewhere else. I did kind of want to go to sleep at some point; it had been a loooong day. “Hey, um… so do you wanna sleep in the guest room, or in my bed and I sleep on the floor, or?…”

At that, Gary started actually dragging us backward. “How about we both sleep on the bed? Isn’t that how these things work?” At that point he started trailing his mouth over my neck, and I just let myself be moved.

“Sure, if you wanna, I guess that’s cool.” I yawned as Gary moved us, which prompted him to spin me around and start making out with me again. Well okay, I guess. The angle was a little awkward, so we ended up kind of crashing into the bed and falling down. I laughed as he rolled on top of me and pressed himself as close to me as he could, now experimenting with sucking on my neck. “Geez, man—aren’t you tired? You look like you haven’t slept in, like, two days or something.”

I felt Gary snort before sitting up and adjusting himself so he was more comfortable. He sure looked comfortable—the superior smirk and the higher position suited his condescending tone when he said, “Puh-lease, Femme Boy—two days is nothing.” He began running his hands over my chest again, which appeared to take up all his concentration since he stopped talking.

I sighed as I scooted back a bit to get the light. “Do you really still need to call me that?” Gary crawled with me as I turned over to snap my bedside lamp off. I added to myself, “I swear, it’s like you use it even more these days.”

There were a few minutes of quiet as I just let Gary trail his hands up and down my torso in the dark. I haven’t had sex much—it’s only been five or so times, since there’re just two girls who’d ever expressed an interest in me. And neither girl with had really… touched me like this. Well, they had. But not really afterward; it was kinda nice to be touched ‘anyway’, rather than ‘for the purpose of’. Gary suddenly broke the silence as he said quietly, “What, you don’t think it’s accurate?” He then moved off of me, lying down next to me and hugging my arm. Guess I was wrong about him not liking cuddling.

I frowned as he nuzzled himself into my neck and hair. “No, it’s not; I’m not a girl.” He chuckled and shifted his leg so it was pressed against my crotch.

He positively purred, “Oh, I know you’re not a girl, Petey” before shifting his arms to wrap more fully around my body. “Doesn’t mean you don’t have traits normally associated with girls, though.”

I snorted, muttering, “Yeah, like forgetting a red sock in the wash once.” In response, I felt Gary frown.

“No… it’s more than surface stuff like that…” He pulled away and began running a hand through my hair as he continued. “…You try and empathize with other people… you’re patient… you ask questions before rushing in…” he trailed off before removing his hand and moving back in to lap at my neck and smirk. “Not to mention your skin is wonderfully soft.”

I rolled my eyes, whispering back, “Oh sorry if I didn’t see it as a compliment with the way you say it.”

I let the sound of crickets from outside wash over me as he muttered, “Mmm… maybe I can make it a compliment” before pressing the side of his head into my shoulder.

By that point, though, I was drifting off and I wasn’t even sure I’d heard anything. I murmured back, “Sure, man… you do that…” before giving in to sleep.

Chapter Text

I knew it’d been a mistake as soon as I’d said it. It was a few weeks or so into Pete and I being… an item, I suppose, and we were hanging out with Mr. and Mrs. Moron as per usual in another one of Jimmy’s inexplicable hideouts. We had just been making idle conversation and gossip for a few hours, and at some point we had somehow got on the subject of age. Zoe had said something about Burton. “Fucker used to slap me on the ass” were her exact words, I believe.

I’d shifted so I was nuzzled into Petey’s neck—God, that contact still lit my nerves on fire—and said, “Heh, guess you can call me hot for teacher, then.”

Usually Petey would just shiver and laugh, maybe gently push me away in public, or during a conversation. Not that we’d been having a lot of those in private lately. I should’ve realized something was off when his only reaction had been a few moments of silence followed by a worried-sounding, “…what do you mean?”

I pulled back a little, automatically clarifying myself. “Well, you and Burton are the same age, aren’t you?” Instantly Petey flinched like he’d been doused in ice-cold water, and he turned to me with an expression of fast-escalating horror. I quickly added, “I mean, technically. Not really.” I hooked my arm around his neck and pulled him in to kiss him. He softened up automatically, but my stomach still had a cold lump of dread in it.

My suspicions were confirmed as I pulled away and gave Pete my best reassuring smile only for him to frown. “Well. Technically I am Burton’s age. He’s, like, thirty-something, right?”

Zoe piped up, adding, “Forties. Dude’s pushing forty-eight, I think.”

I let out a breath. “See, Femme Boy? Nothing to worry about.” Come on, please drop it!

Luckily, Petey seemed to hear my plea, since he just said, “Yeah…” and nothing more. Thank God. I wound my arm around his waist, burying my face in his shoulder. All I knew was that I wanted to keep exploring these incredible feelings. Besides, why would Petey want to stop? He enjoys this stuff too; maybe not as much as I do… but he still likes it. I smirked to myself—hell, if it was really a problem, I had been thinking about going down on him for a few days now; perhaps that would alleviate any worries he had.

As night began to fall and the great moron duo decided to kick us out, I began wandering my way toward Petey’s house, making idle chit-chat. “So, what would you say to my tongue on your balls, hm?” Well, maybe not so idle.

“Wait, we can’t go to my house—my parents asked me not to tonight, they’re having guests…”

Shit. “And you didn’t say this earlier because?…”

He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “I forgot! Sorry. We can just go to your house, though, right?” Fuck. I didn’t say anything for a moment, mulling over my options. I did not want Petey in my house; it is a place of fucking misery and I didn’t want him anywhere near it. But I couldn’t think of anywhere else we could go at this time of night and be alone. …Unless…

“What about that room under the comic shop?” His face scrunched up as he thought and God help me it set the butterflies that constantly dogged my stomach these days fluttering like crazy.

After a moment, he said, “Would they let us in? I mean, I know the guy behind the counter knows we’re Jimmy’s friends… but is that enough?” I shrugged. Who knows?

“Might as well find out, hm, Femme Boy?” He rolled his eyes at the nick-name. I’ve been using it so often this past week that it sounded much more like a term of endearment at this point. At least, that was the idea. Either way, he nodded and we headed over to the comic shop. Petey said some stupidly nice thing to that idiot Zack, but eventually we were able to head to the basement and shut the door to the side room.

I groaned as soon as the door snapped shut, quickly pulling him into a kiss. “Finally! Geez, why’s it always take so damn long?” The tingling feeling spread over my body like wildfire, and I grinned as I licked his lips, silently asking him for entrance. Unfortunately, he wasn’t as accommodating as usual.

He pulled away, saying quietly, “No, Gary, not now… we gotta talk.” I haven’t ever been in a romantic relationship, but I’ve heard that phrase enough times in movies and TV shows for it to trigger the return of that pit in my stomach.

I ignored it, though, pulling him over to the bed (which was really more of a glorified mattress) as I said, “Make out now, talk later, ‘kay, Petey?” I grabbed the hem of his shirt, yanking it up and muffling whatever he was saying.

When the shirt cleared his head, he said in a rather frustrated tone, “Gary, no! We gotta talk now.”

Shit, shit, shit… I straddled him, ignoring what he said and tracing patterns over his neck with the tip of my tongue—he loves that. In between laps, I said, “Hmm… are you… sure about… that?” He closed his eyes, exhaling slowly as I slowed down and got into the rhythm of things. I smirked, moving my mouth to suck on his collarbone as I stealthily undid his shorts. Taking a break in the stimulation I murmured in his ear, “you never did say anything about your cock in my mouth…” before planting my mouth over his again. I ran my hands over his boxers, too—he was getting hard; good thing, I’d been sporting a hard-on since the door clicked shut.

As I slipped my hand into his underwear, though, he reached down and pulled it out. He separated from my mouth, saying breathlessly, “No Gary, come on—we gotta talk, okay?” No, no, no, no! I tugged the band of his boxers down with my other hand and stroked him; he gasped. Perfect—I started lapping at his chest. But he inched back until I couldn’t touch him. “Gary, cut it o—” I shoved him back, laying down on top of him and licking the inside of his mouth as desperately as I could. Please, please just let it go! That seemed to make him more pissed off, and he started wriggling out from under me and shoving me away. “Gary, for fuck’s sake! Get off me!”

I grabbed both his wrists and pinned them to his side as I straddled him. “Fine. You wanna talk, then talk.” I breathed heavily for a few moments as he attempted to free himself before staring me in the eye.

“Let me go.” I shrugged, dragging his hands up so they were above his head.

Quietly, I asked “Why?” as I kissed him less fiercely. I’d lost, I knew that much. By now, he’d clamped his teeth firmly together and I couldn’t get past them. I sighed, tightening my grip on his wrists as I laid my head down next to his. “…fine. What did you want to say.”

He huffed. “Geez, you’re acting like you know already.” I shrugged as I pressed myself closer to him, breathing in. The look of horror on his face from earlier today was at the forefront of my mind; but hey, maybe I was wrong. Maybe it was something completely different. Stranger things had happened—like him liking me back. As Petey sighed and prepared to speak, though, I really doubted it. “Look… I was just thinking… about how old I am? Technically, you know?”

I sighed; no such luck of being wrong, apparently. “Mmhm.” I started nosing his hair—man, it’s been getting so long.

He didn’t say anything for a moment before continuing. “Well… I just think… well, I’m really thirty. And. Um. You only just turned fifteen…”

I pushed myself up and sat up so I was straddling him. “When were you born, Femme Boy?”

He blinked, frowning as he answered automatically, “Uh, August 25^th?”

I rolled my eyes. “What year?”

“Oh. 1992… but—”

I dipped my head back down and interrupted him with a kiss before pulling back and saying quietly, “Then you’re fifteen too, right?” As I did so, I began rubbing my erection over his crotch; I exhaled sharply. Hot damn that felt good.

Petey agreed, since he bucked his hips into the heat a little himself. After a moment he said, “I-I mean, technically I am–” I reached down and tugged his boxers off while he spoke and propped himself up on his hands. “–But age isn’t really about physical age, it’s…” Then I bent down and began trailing my nose (and tongue) down his chest. “–about… experienceee… ohh…”

I took the opportunity get my own two cents in. “Come on, Petey—anybody would agree that you’re fifteen, right?” I reached his erection and flicked my gaze up to meet his as I moved my face so I could trace his dick with my nose. He moaned, closing his eyes and doing this little wiggle of pleasure. Hot! And that was perfect; a horny Petey is a quiet Petey. Or not talkative, at least. I licked my lips and dragged my lower lip up his length as I continued speaking—quietly now—“Come on, I just want to make you feel good~” Then I darted my tongue out to touch his tip. I had no idea what I was doing, but I’d actually asked Jimmy for, well, some advice. He’d enthusiastically begun listing various acts—tugging, stroking, licking, and vibrating had all been in there. I brought up the various terms he’d used throughout the lecture as I slowly slid my tongue over Petey—hm. Probably best to keep it simple for a while.

I started by lapping at the base and working my way up. I’d honestly been a little surprised by how well-endowed Femme Boy is. I was especially grateful for the added length as I added a pumping hand to the mix and slipped his tip into my mouth, nearly moaning myself at the sounds Petey was treating me to. “G-Gary, wait… jus–ohGod~!” His hands came up to grip the back of my head—to my surprise, it turned me on. A lot. I kept pumping with my hand, but slathered my tongue up and down the shaft; to my delight he groaned and began bending forward with his face screwed up. Oh, he liked this. I would’ve smirked, but I was too busy taking him in more. His grip on my hair tightened as I was able to take him in deeper. I was surprised to find how hard I was getting at having a dick in my mouth… what would happen if I could take him all the way? But before I could consider it more, he began tugging my hair like he wanted to pull me off. “Stop it! Gary, please, stop…” I looked up at him and he looked… scared. Really scared.

I frowned, pulling back reluctantly. As soon as I did, he skootched away, breathing heavily. “…what? Did that hurt, or something?”

He shook his head as he pulled his boxers back up. He curled up, away from me as he panted. “No, no, I’m fine… I just… you didn’t let me talk.” He kept his gaze trained on the fastening for his shorts as he began talking like he wouldn’t get the chance to continue. “Gary, I’m so sorry but I just don’t think I can do this.” Pulling his knees in, Petey refused to look at me as he continued. “And I know that you’re probably upset… but… but you’re a child, you can’t make these decisions for yourself yet.”

What!? “I can’t make my own decisions? Since fucking when!?”

He sighed, his eyes still closed as he said calmly, “Because you’re not old enough. You haven’t even been in a romantic relationship before, you’re… it’s just not okay for me to be with you, okay?” I could feel my stomach curling in on itself. I had only just figured out I could even be attracted to anybody, and now he didn’t… he didn’t want me anymore? The fucker still wouldn’t look at me!

I licked my lips as I said hoarsely, “But… but it’s fine! You’re not going to get any trouble, nobody would even know unless you told them!” I started crawling toward him “Please, Petey… look at me…” I touched his arm, and he actually listened to me, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye as he sighed. I began pulling him into a hug but he pulled away.

“Gary, it’s not about getting in trouble, or what other people think, it’s just what I think is right, okay?” I frowned. What the hell was he even talking about? He continued “This is just what we were talking about… the consent thing.”

I could not believe what I was hearing! “I-I want you! What the h—are you saying I’m raping you??”

He started waving his hands in denial immediately. “No, no, no! I mean… just. Look, in order to give consent, you have to be able to.” He rubbed the back of his head as I shifted closer to him and started rubbing a circle on his back. “And if you’re too young, you can’t, by law, give consent. Like, if a person is mentally handicapped or…” I shrugged as he petered out again, and he even let me wrap my arm around him before abruptly turning and shifting away again.

I huffed—Christ, this was annoying—but I took offense to that. “What, so just because I’m young means I’m as stupid as somebody who’s drunk or high?”

Pete grimaced. “I didn’t mean it like that, geez Gary!”

Icily, I responded, “Well, you’re comparing my ability to say that I want to have sex with you to that of somebody who’s ingested a bottle of whisky. I don’t see—” But he cut me off.

“I am not talking semantics with you, Gary. This is wrong, and you can’t change my mind about it. End of story.” There was a minute of silence during which the horror of the situation that I’d managed to keep bottled up suddenly began to seep out. I was surprised by how painful it felt—the rejection. I’ve always thought of myself as more of a cold calculator who doesn’t let emotion get in the way of things, but as the reality of feeling my chest compress like it was in a vice hit me it rather called that fact into question. “…Gary? Gary, are you okay?” I tried to take deep breaths, but I was having some trouble breathing. I blinked—was I crying? I lifted a hand up to my eyes, but they were perfectly dry. For some reason, that made me feel even worse, and I felt my breathing get sharper. “Shhh; hey, it’s okay, come on…” I felt warm arms pull me into a hug and suddenly all that fear and pain turned to an emotion I was far more familiar with: anger.

I shoved Petey away as violently as I could, screaming at the top of my lungs—this was his fault! “FUCK YOU!” I couldn’t think of anything else to say, so I just balled my hair up in my hands and yelled into the cage of my arms. “AAAAAAHHH!” I felt him touch me again, but I slapped him away and screamed “GET OUT! YOU LITTLE FUCK!” He was backing away from me like I was a wild animal now. “YOU LEAD ME ON, THEN JUST FUCK ME OVER? GET OUT! GET OUT GETOUTGETOUTGETTHEFUCKOUT!” I beat my fists on the door after he scrambled out, screaming until I could barely breathe anymore—so I grabbed the first thing I could and threw it. The keyboard made an unsatisfying clunk, so I picked it up and hurled it again, and again, and again until finally a few keys flew off and pinged against the walls and the floor. I breathed heavily for a moment before feeling a lump catch in my throat and snarling to myself as I threw the piece of machinery against the ground as hard as I could and stomped on it until I heard a CRUNCH that indicated it’d been broken. That made me stop, catch my breath again as I stumbled to the mattress on the floor.

I focused on the all-consuming numbing feeling that was overtaking my senses rather than think about how I was never going to see Petey again or touch him again or see his smug, cocky expression when he beat me in Streetfighter or concentrate so hard to feel his heartbeat through my chest until it was like my own heartbeat ceased to be and he was part of me or kiss him in front of his parents or being pushed to the brink of physical pleasure and maybe even sanity and then past it but it was always okay because he was right there with me and I could count on him to bring me back from the terrifying thoughts those moments brought on like ‘I love him’ and ‘I need him’ and he would just smile that FUCKING smile and the whole world was okay or… or…

That was when the gross sobbing began.

Chapter Text

Man--eating a chick out has gotta be one of the best things in the world. The music we'd put on in the background nearly made me miss Zoe's quiet moan now that I'd finally gotten to work up to suckin' on her clit. I pulled away for a sec, and she knocked my head with her thigh. "Heh, ya like that?" She gave me the 'do you want me to punch you in the dick?' look, and I snickered as I dipped my head back down.

Then a loud bangbangbang! on the door killed the mood. We groaned in frustration and she shouted "KINDA BUSY, FUCK OFF!" I'd-a said it myself if I could. I switched to swirling my tongue around, and man, judging by the way she tightened her grip on the blanket she looooved it!

But whoever it was kept knocking. And normally I'd have just ignored it until we were done--but after a second round of banging, they just kept hitting the door. We both groaned. "Oh for fuck's sake!" What's the point of actually being popular if people do this kinda shit? I stomped over to the door and yanked it open, growling, "What!?" as nastily as I could, hoping whoever it was would get the fuckin' hint.

Aaaand I immediately felt like shit, 'cause it was Pete. "Sorry, Jimmy--I just... look, you gotta go to the comic shop and talk to Gary, he's... he went totally crazy! I'm just worried, can... oh, hi Zoe-" He stopped for a sec, then slapped his forehead as his face turned red. "Oh my God I'm so sorry you guys I didn't realize-"

I pulled him into a hug. "Don't even trip dude," As he relaxed a bit into the hug I noticed he wasn't wearing a shirt? The fuck? "Okay... start over, what's up?" I tugged him inside as Zoe shut the door.

He was rubbing at his eyes. "I.. told Gary that our age difference isn't something I'm okay with, and he freaked out," He groaned and rolled his eyes. "Consequently, he didn't get to hear me explain that I'd be happy to wait!" He fell heavily on the sagging couch.

Zoe snorted. "Fucking drama queen."

I could kinda see where Gary was coming from, though. "Shit man, I know it only lasted a couple weeks, but it was his first time."

Pete sighed deeply. "I know, okay? I just..." He trailed off, looking really uncomfortable. "When he said that stuff about Burton... how.. how I'm.. like him..."

Zoe squatted next to him and said softly, "Mind if I touch you?" I'm not sure why she does that sometimes, but Pete shook his head and she put an arm around his shoulder. "You aren't like Burton, okay?"

He chuckled wetly. "Maybe. I've just been thinking of myself as a teenager for so long, I forget that I'm not really fifteen..." Uh oh. I usually try not to think about Pete's 'time loop' thing. One time I did and I couldn't sleep for a whole night because.. well, I dunno, I just kept thinking about it. He's got a whole lifetime of memories of me that I don't know about, you know? Freaks me out.

Still, I'm his friend. And he was clearly messed up over that shit. I clapped him on the shoulder, shaking him a bit. "Hey, it's all good, Pete! You're cool in our book, right Zo'?"

She grinned and noogied him. "Damn straight! Even if you did just clam-jam the shit outta me." Pete's embarrassed expression was fuckin' priceless.

I packed him a bowl (which he turned down), and then got him a soda as he got settled. Eventually he glanced up from his can. "Jimmy, can you do me a favor?"

"'Course dude!"

"Can you go talk to Gary?" Me and my big mouth. "Make sure he won't... y'know, hurt himself? Or somebody else?"

Still. I had a hunch this was gonna get interesting. Probably not rebound-sex interesting, but I'd been wrong about that before. "Yeah, alright. So d'ya still wanna fuck him or what? OW!" I rubbed my arm and shot Zoe a glare. "What!?"

"You're a fucking dumbass is what!" She met me glare for glare. "Yall can't just up'n ask that kinda question! After--"

But Pete started laughing and waved her off. "No, it's okay, I think I get it." He chewed his lip for a bit. "I--" He opened and closed his mouth for a while. "If--" I rolled my eyes and glanced at my wrist. "Maybe..." Managed to dodge Zoe's hit this time. Eventually, "Just tell Gary that.. we can try again when we're--or... well, when he's eighteen."

Couldn't help but smile at how red his face was. "Sure thing man."

I pulled up in front of the comic shop, nodded to Zack as I headed behind the counter, and shut the door behind me. Hm... I couldn't hear anything weird as I went down the steps, just the usual arcade sounds. I knocked on the door to the hideout and said kina quiet "Hey Gary? You in there?" I pressed my ear up against the door, but didn't hear anything. I knocked again. "Come on man, at least let me know you're not dead," as I leaned against the door.

Eventually, I did hear a tired sounding "I am not dead. ...Physically." Wow. Overreaction much?

"C'mon man, just let me in. We can talk about it." When he didn't respond, I added "Or, uh, we could not. We can do something else, I guess." Still nothing. Shit. I jiggled the doorknob and peeped through the keyhole, but I couldn't really see anything. As the silence stretched on, I let my back slide down the door. May as well sit if I'm gonna be here a while. "...y'know, I get what you're going through, Gary." I sighed as my own love life flashed before my eyes. "First time's always the toughest, you know?" I usually like keeping things more on the casual side, but everybody catches feelings sometimes.

I heard him snort. "Bullshit, Hopkins." Guess it's better than nothin'. "How many people have you had sex with just this week?"

"Man, fuck off!" Who's this guy think he is!? "I was just saying I've been in shitty breakups before; doesn't change cause I'm getting laid now." There was a pause. Then I heard footsteps behind the door, and before I could scramble outta the way, he whacked the door into my back! "Ow!" Why's everybody out to hit me today?

Shithead ignored me. "It means" he hissed, "That you can't possibly understand what I'm going through, moron. Because you can just go fuck somebody else until you feel better!" I finally managed to get up from the floor and get a good look at him. He kept ranting, but I was just focused on his face--he'd been crying. He finally shut up when I pulled him into a hug. It only lasted a couple seconds cuz he shoved me away, snarling "Get your hands off me!"

Shit, I can tell when I'm not wanted. "Sorry, man... ya looked like you needed a hug," Dude blinked confusedly for a second before switching to a glare and sitting his ass on the mattress. I followed him in the room and took in the place. There were keyboard keys everywhere, and sure enough I stepped on something that turned out to be half a keyboard. I picked it up, joking "Did it make fun of your mom or something?" A shrug--guess he didn't feel like fucking around like we usually do. Tossing the keyboard aside I sat down in the office chair Pete had added when he won this place off the Nerds. I swung my leg for a bit and looked around some more before breaking the awkward silence. "So Pete wanted me to tell ya that he's freaked out about being a pedo and that you spazzed so much that he couldn't tell you he still wants to fuck you." Gary glared like he didn't believe me. I added, "I mean, ya gotta wait till' you're eighteen, but that's sti-"

"Three years?" He barked out a harsh laugh. "That's a stupidly long amount of time."

I nodded. "Yeah, I get that, man." Pete was going hard on all this. He's obviously allowed to break up with Gary, but it was really sudden. They'd been a gross lovey-dovey couple just yesterday. I sighed. "It sucks all around."

At that point he shot me a glare. Not just any glare, though--he was also doing that thing. That thing where he scans somebody and it's like he's read your mind and knows everything about you. Fuckin' creeps me out. I was about to ask what the fuck his problem was when he said all quiet, "What are you doing here?"

I frowned at him. "What's that supposed to mean?" He'd said it like a challenge.

His eyes went wide, "Wait, don't tell me?" before breaking out into an evil grin. Didn't work too well with the tears fresh on his face. "Aw, Jimmy, are you trying to be nice to me?"

What was he talking about? "No duh? We're friends, dude. 'Swhat friends do."

He started laughing coldly, evil villain style. "Wow, moron. On what planet do you think you and I are friends?"

...I don't try to get super attached to people. Me and Mom've been on the move so long I couldn't really afford to make friends, since odds were I'd need to leave before we ever got close. But I'd been in Bullworth longer than anywhere else and even though it's one of the shittiest schools I've seen, Pete, Gary and Zoe made up for it all.

So hearing Gary say something like that hurt. It hurt bad. "I tolerate you, moron." My lip curled at the disgust in his voice. "If it were up to me, I wouldn't have to breathe the same air as you, since I'll probably get an STD doing it." He shrugged. This fucking shithead! "But you have your uses. So I am willing to put up with constantly being around you." He snorted, and went back to staring at nothing as he said "But don't think for a second that that makes you at all special."

Before I even realized what I was doing I'd launched myself at him and punched that lying fucking bastard. "You're so full of shit!" Then I was laying into him right there on the floor. Dude managed to shove me off and fight back a little, but Gary isn't a fighter. Not as bad as a Bully, but still pretty bad.

Eventually I had him face-down on the floor, hand behind his back as I straddled him. Easy fight, but what he'd said was still making my blood run hot even as I tried to breathe and calm down. He laughed. "Goodness! I take it I struck a nerve?"

I could see the smirk even as I pressed his face into the floor. "Fuck you, asshole!" Ugh, what's Gary's problem?

"Wow, how creative. I bet you come up with your insults all by yourself like a big boy!"

I whacked the back of his head with my elbow as he laughed. "Man, why bother pissing me off? 'Snot gonna get Pete back any sooner, stupid." That actually made him flinch worse than when I'd been punching him. And start shaking. Whoa hey, was he about to cry? "No, dude, chill, I didn't mean--"

He tried to growl "Fuck off!" but his voice was hoarse and he was still trembling, Jesus.

I got off him, but he didn't make any effort to restart our fight. "Man.. dude, you are fucking wrecked.." He seriously growled at me like he was an animal or some shit. Fuck I can't leave him like this.. Pete was gonna owe me big time. "I'm not leaving until you talk about it." And I plopped myself back down in the chair.

Gary stared at me for what felt like a solid minute before he just curled up with his head between his knees. "I'm never going to be able to talk to the one person in this fucking town I actually like, Hopkins. I feel like I'm entitled to a lot of crying."

Oh for fuck's sake! "Dude, he doesn't hate you! I wouldn't be here if he did."

"THEN WHY?" Yep, those were definitely tears. "Tell me Jimmy, why the FUCK Petey decided to hurt me like this if he doesn't hate me!"

I got up, knelt down and hugged him again. "I dunno, but.. yeah, it sucks," He was rigid for a while before pushing away again. Not as violently, though so.. progress? "Look man, you probably don't wanna hear this, but there's other people in the world y'know."

He rubbed at his eyes before grabbing something and blowing his nose on it. "Your powers of foresight are incredible. I did not, in fact, want to hear that."

I rolled my eyes as I got up. "C'mon man, you gotta get home. I'll walk with ya." Shockingly he went without arguing. "I'm just saying, maybe you need to get out more." I waggled my eyebrows as I elbowed him. "See what else you're into?"

The unimpressed look he shot me wasn't exactly encouraging. Still, he play along, voice cracking all the way. "Let's say I wanted to," massive airquotes, "'see what else I'm into,' as you put it. Putting aside for a moment my utter distaste for most people, I don't even have the means to meet up with so many people and build a relationship with them."

"Nobody's saying you have to look for a date or anything, man. Just go to a party! See who rubs up on ya, see what makes you uncomfortable. You know, teenage stuff."

He curled his lip in disgust as we left the shop. "Gosh, you make it sound so appealing."

I laughed. "Heh, sex is kiiinda gross, man. No way of getting around that! Just gotta see where your limits are."

"That sounds utterly repulsive."

I sighed. Leave it to Gary Smith to dismiss every possible solution in the universe. "Whatever man. I'm not about to shove you onto somebody's dick if you don't wanna, you just seem like you need to get out more." As we made our way down the dirt road, I noticed Gary side-eyeing me. "What?"

"...is this your roundabout way of getting me to have sex with you?" Haha!

"Pft, nah!" I shot him a quick wink. "I mean, if you want to, I'm totally down!" A shrug. "But you don't seem like you're into me, so whatever."

Gary just kinda looked at me funny. "...indeed."

Man, he was doing that 'scanning' thing again. Like I was bein' x-rayed. Weird. "I'll ask around, see if anybody's hosting a party soon or something." I just chatted about stuff while I followed him to his house. Course every time I went quiet hoping he'd say fucking anything, the answer was NO. To my surprise, we ended up stopping at a pretty fancy looking place near where some of the preps live. "Whoa! Nice digs." He shrugged and opened the gate without looking at me. Sheesh, what a prick--I flipped him off as I walked away. "You're welcome, asshole!" Gary's so weird!

Chapter Text

To everybody's annoyance but not surprise, the moment we arrived at the party the hostess came and whisked our short fat ginger away. I swear Jimmy fucking winked at me as he waved goodbye. But that left just me and the moroness. I beheld her. She, I.

Eventually the silence broke when she gestured for me to follow. "C'mon, let's find some quiet corner. You smoke?"

A few minutes later after some fumbling with a lighter, I found my lips much loosened. Zoe presented a much less idiotic front than the moron--with Jimmy it's like talking to a concrete wall. But Zoe was a better listener. Or maybe I was just fucking dying to rant to somebody. "I just don't see his angle!"

"Mmhm."

I blew some smoke out as I again contemplated what Petey's fucking problem is. "He should be grateful I'm even fucking into him! He's social poison in Bullworth's social totem pole."

That made Zoe laugh. "Motherfucker, aint like you're wining any popularity contests!"

Ugh. "..okay that's true. But still!" I thew my hands up. "He strung me along for so long! And then gives a shitty bullshit excuse for why he wants to end it?" For some reason this also made Zoe giggle. I frowned. "What."

"Dude he was letting you down easy, don't you see that?" At my dumbfounded confusion--because HOW--she elaborated. "All that time travel age stuff was to make you feel better. He just wanted to out cuz you were such an asshole!"

Despite myself I automatically defended the pink wonder. "No he didn't."

"Yeah, sure." Her smug smirk as she took another draw from the bowl pissed me right off.

I took the offered pipe when she held it out but refrained from toking for a moment. "He didn't say that just to be nice, he's said that from the start of the year. The time travel shit is real. He wasn't lying to me."

This clearly took her aback. Good! Serves her right for letting envy take her over. I felt safe enough to inhale. "Seriously? YOU believe that?" Worry etched itself in her expression. "I mean I can see why Jimmy kinda bought it but you seem like a more skeptical guy."

Huh? "What's that supposed to mean!?" Smoke curled up against my face. "Of course I was skeptical, why the fuck wouldn't I be!"

She snorted. "You're the one believing your boyfriend left you cuz of magic, not the more obvious reason that you're a controlling, needy douchebag."

A white hot spike of rage focused me. I am not--... I was not a bad boyfriend! He LOVED me, he fucking did! "Then how did Peter know the exact Halloween costume I'd gotten for him? Or what my favorite food was at the cafeteria? Or-" I was shaking. "-or the dreams I've never told anyone--and yet he just knows. He knows me better than anybody on fucking earth. So how do you fucking explain that you Goddamn jealous bitch?!"

The music and chatter raged as Zoe stared at me and I took deep breaths. After a beat, I held the pipe out to her and she took it. "...shit you really do believe it...."

I smacked my forehead. "Fucking of course! I didn't believe that shit for fucking months, who would?" Other than Jimmy Hopkins. "But he proved himself, believe you me." My memory flashed to countless lunchtimes where he'd saved some dish he knew I liked. He hadn't asked what I liked, and he hadn't acted as if it were odd. Like it was perfectly natural that a friend would know their friend's favorite lunchtime meal and save it for them. That was what really convinced me, just how... comfortable he was around me. Nobody's ever been like that with me.

She mulled that over. Eventually, "...dayum. "

I sniffed. "Indeed. So no, he did not 'let me down easy' as you said."

She gained a massively peeved expression. "Yeah, okay, sure, but. Sorry, also fuck you that's fucked up?"

"What?"

She shook her head. "I mean shit, I talked to him about this and he seemed to genuinely think of himself as like... an adult somehow! If it's true, then he shouldn't be boinking someone our age. Shit's fucked up."

After the rational attitude the moron had displayed, I was blindsighted by his feminine counterpart being so idiotic. "Wh-bu- but he's literally not? The year of his birth isn't moving back for fucks sake."

She shrugged and handed the pipe over. "Shits about a power dynamic and experience, not literal time. That stuff about him saving you food, or knowing shit about you that you never even told him... sounds like stalking." I rolled my eyes but couldn't respond as I held the weed in. She clicked her tongue in.. something. Annoyance? Dismissal? "Course you don't get it. Boys never fucking do." Before staring out at the partygoers as if she was a wise woman of the ancient hills rather than a teenager scarcely older than me.

I let out a stream of smoke in her general direction before 'accidentally' letting my grip on the pipe slip. Adding an "Oops." as it fell from my fingers. By the time she had noticed anything, the pipe had cracked against the metal tabletop before bouncing to the ground and fully shattering. Over her swearing I pushed myself up. "What Petey and I had was true fucking love. You were groped by a sweaty fat man in a locker room. Those things aren't even remotely alike." With that I departed, blood roaring in my ears. Who did she think she fucking was?? And she'd gotten me thinking about Pete again, the bitch. The whole point of this was to forget him dammit!

In my enraged stomping I spotted a table teeming with teens and red cups. Hm. Perhaps alcohol would let me forget the way he would look at me, at least for a while...

Sweet fire rolled down my throat for the fourth time and at last I was feeling the effects. The rumors I'd heard were actually true--I felt amazing. If stopping my meds had been turning my whole brain up to maximum, this was more of a dulling, of parts of my brain being turned down. Well... maybe not all of my brain. I chewed the lip of the cup as my gaze landed on a couple making out. I watched for a bit. A faint shadow of arousal passed over me, but those two--some Prep and a Greaser as far as I could tell--didn't really do it for me.

Now Petey. I smiled dreamily to myself as I remembered the feeling of running my hands through his hair, of tightening my grip on those locks as our tongues twined, the way his breath hitched when I twisted his cock just so.... I really hadn't understood what was so great about sex until him.

Dodging teenagers humping and throwing objects against the walls, I wandered in a daze of Petey-lust until coming across the hot tub, which was occupied by, of course, Jimmy Hopkins. Now, I'm not about to claim I understand what happened in that moment. Maybe it was the moonlight. Could have even been the booze. Whatever it was, something about the way he looked was definitely turning me on.

A memory from a while ago suddenly popped in my head. After I'd asked Jimmy about blowjobs, he'd added, "And if ya want a more hands-on demo...." a wink, "Lemmie know!" At the time I had rolled my eyes. But now, the idea of somebody who wanted me was very appealing indeed.

Then, a girl I'd failed to notice swam on top of him and they began kissing. The rage that was already so close to the surface after my encounter with Zoe rushed in and filled me up. I sat on the lip of the tub nonchalantly as I flipped through what I knew about her. Yes, a house full of nice valuable objects... I made a mental note to pick the lock on the parents' wing and see if any of the overpriced model trains were still there as I piped up. "Hey Pinkie, is that cabinet in the dining room important?" When she didn't respond I leaned a little closer to be heard over the slurping. "Because somebody was using the plates as frisbees..." That made her pay attention.

"They WHAT?" A distant crash sent her on a mad scramble out of the tub and into the house, shivering all the way.

I smirked in satisfaction imagining the realization that she was dripping chlorinated water all over the expensive carpet. Then, something wet grabbed my arm, and before I could register what was going on I was tumbling through space and there was heat and water trying to enter my mouth and nose and I couldn't stand up what was going on oh God oh God swim up swim up swim up! My random leg-and-arm flailing seemed to do the trick, because I managed to stand and splutter enough to get the water out of my windpipe. As I shook the water out of my eyes, I registered laughter behind me. "Haha, 'bout time you joined the party, Scarface!" I finally got my eyes open and whipped my head around to dimly see Jimmy grinning at me. "That's my way of thanking you for blueballing me, dickhead."

I finally wiped the water out of my eyes, growling a "Oh, I'm so fucking sorry, moron!"

"Eh well," he gave a theatrical shrug, "Glad to see you're up 'n at'em!" He thumped me on the back, which restarted the coughing all over again.

The anger--or jealousy--still sat hot in my stomach, but with her gone I was slipping back into that dulled, bloated space. I think so much. Don't I deserve a break?

As I quieted the coughing down, I let out a wheezy "Do you remember--" Another cough. "--when I asked you about blowjobs?"

"Psh," He rolled his eyes, "Yeah, 'course I do. 'm not stupid."

"And do you--" I cleared my throat, "--remember what you said when you were done?"

He shrugged, turning to look out over the crowd. "Not really.." I did not appreciate being ignored. "..Hey," he glanced back to me, "You wanna get a dri-" I yanked him forward so our lips met.

It wasn't the instant-fireworks-on-skin sensation of kissing Petey for the first time; that had been the climax of days worth of fantasizing and obsessing and longing. What this experience did have over my first kiss was sheer physical intensity. The hot water sloshing, the music thumping, the chatter of nearby people; none of it faded the way it had with Petey. After a few startled gasps, Jimmy was happy to kiss back--even running his hands over the rest of my body. Not something Petey usually did. At one point his grip increased on my side and I was pretty sure it would bruise. Even more surprising was the fact that this idea turned me on. A lot. Eventually we were forced to separate, panting heavily. "Since... fucking... when was... this a thing?" By the time he'd recovered, I was examining his trunks and contemplating the odds anybody would notice if I pulled his dick out underwater.

I decided low. In response to his question, "You know Hopkins, sometimes it's okay not to think about things too closely."

"Ah, fuck off--OH SHIT UM," to my surprise, he pulled my hand off of his dick. "Dude! Give a guy fair warning, for fuck's sake..."

I rolled my eyes, letting his breath slow as the party raged around us. Dryly, I commented, "Now may I jerk you off?" I could see the hard-on even through the water.

He glanced around, slowly lowering my hand to his crotch. "Yeah, ok, sure.." It was annoying that I couldn't quite make out the details of what I was doing to him through the water. Luckily I could feel well enough, and watching his reactions was a visual pleasure in itself. As he twitched and tried to keep his moans quiet, he asked "So have you--mmm--always been into me?"

The annoying amount of cockiness in his face was thankfully lessened when I added another hand to the mix. Over his swearing, I deadpanned, "Don't interrupt me, Hopkins."

Jimmy squirming helplessly as I worked him was an intense turn-on. What finally set him off was squeezing what I thought was just slightly too hard, and then rolling the pressure up his shaft. "My stah-rs, the erotic tension in the air is palpable tonight!" The sound of somebody else entering the hot tub surprised me as Jimmy leaned back and caught his breath.

He rolled his eyes as he panted. "Geez, thanks for the vocab lesson, Zo'." Oh. Her. Well. I pulled him close enough that I could scrape my teeth over his throat. "Ohhh~" If she wanted him, she'd have to go through me first.

Weirdly she didn't seem upset by Jimmy's apparent infidelity. "Well, somebody's gotta teach ya this stuff, right?" Her amused tone colored her voice as I continued working him. "But anyway, been looking for the ignoramus currently spooging himself silly in your lap. Mind if I borrow him?"

The tone of her voice was deceptively casual. So much so that Jimmy missed any undertones. "Haha, sure babe!" His hand caressed my cock exactly once and I just managed to keep a keening whine inside as he took it away with an unexpectedly sultry "till next time..."

Fuck fuck fuck fuck "What do you want, Taylor."

Forcibly ignoring the potential makeout sitting a foot away was no easy feat but I made it work. "You owe me five hundred bucks."

"Wait, what!?" Jimmy's shrill voice was totally at odds with the sultry tone he'd used just a moment ago. His piggy eyes bounced between us. "How the hell'dya figure that?" Wordlessly, Zoe held up a piece of the pipe I'd broken. "Shiiiit..."

The alchohol was still working it's magic, so I stared her in the eye. "Don't you know smoking kills? I did you a favor."

"OOOOHHHHHH!" Jimmy's shocked cry was drawing attention to us. Even Zoe didn't seem sure how to respond to my comment. "Dude, the fuck's wrong with you!?" His input was not appreciated.

I rolled my eyes. I didn't want to deal with this, but drunk as I was I didn't relish my chances against her in combat. "Okay, look. How about this; I can get you something worth at least four times more valuable. Will you consider us even then?"

She snorted in disgust. "Motherfucker, you don't just get to give me some of your rich boy shit and say it's chill!" The red of her face combined with the heat of the hot tub made it hard to tell if she was genuinely that angry.

I held up a hand. "Now now, I didn't say the thing in question was mine." I leaned closer so as not to be overheard by the folks loitering nearby. "Indeed, what I had in mind was more like a heist."

Her sneer didn't lessen. "That ain't how this works!" Tightening her grip on the pipe as she slipped it back into her pocket, she said "The cousin that gave me this.. she died two years ago." I was afixed again in a glare. "You gotta learn your actions have consequences."

Several seconds passed in which I attempted to devise something to say to this information. "....oh." This, counter-intuitively, made the two of them burst out laughing. "What!? Look, I'm sorry, but I didn't KNOW that, okay?" I frowned as they kept laughing. "It wasn't--" Why wouldn't they stop!? My head was too fuzzy with leftovers from the booze and my earlier... activities for me to come up with anything particularly clever to say. Perhaps.. it had been somewhat.. unkind to say..

Zoe broke me out of my musings. "Y'know what, Gary?" She was giving me an appraising sort of look. "I won't fuck you up for this bullshit." She patted the pocket with her pipe. "Cuz you're clearly still dealing with Pete..." I flinched a little but didn't say anything. "...and you're fucking drunk." She took a cup that Jimmy offered to her. "So we'll deal with that shit when we're sober."

"Hell yeah!" Jimmy added. And I suppose I was in no position to argue. He then elbowed my shoulder. "Anyway, what was that shit you were saying about a hoist?" Zoe and I burst into laughter, and for the first time in this last week a feeling of belonging filled me. "What? What'd I say!?" Even if it was just bonding over the stupidity of a friend.

"Well. I may have practiced picking locks in my youth, in this house no less..."

Chapter Text

I was ripped from a pleasant dream by a gentle dive-bomb to my vital organs. "Ow!" Nononono, oh God, please, not again! I thought I was done!!

"PEEEETE! GEDUUUUP!!!" Wait, that's not Gary's voice...

It was so dark I couldn't see much even when I did manage to unstick my eyelids. Dragging my arm over to my face and fumbling to light up my watch was also a bit beyond me at the moment. "Ugh, what the fuck time is it..." Not the least because one of those arms was being sat on.

Whoever was on top of me said loudly "He's up, guys!" That voice got me blinking a little more.

"...Jimmy!?" What the hell was Jimmy doing in my room?

A lot less surprising was Gary's voice, hissing from somewhere nearby "You don't need to be so loud!"

I was still trying and failing to scrape the sleep from my brain "Ugh... Wha?... What's happening?" I pushed myself up, only to hear yet another voice cut in from next to my bed.

"Dogpile on Pete!" Experiencing the familiar sensation of having my organs dive-bombed for the second time in so many minutes combined with my sleepy state sent me back to the beginning of the year. I was back to square one I was trapped again, no, no no nonono--Before I could spiral too far though, everybody started blabbing incoherently to each other. That broke me out enough to grope around for a light.

Snap! A chorus of whining ensued, which let me actually take in what was going on. Must've come from that party, given their clothes. Gary was even wearing a muscle shirt despite having nearly as little muscle as me. And Zoe was wearing a skirt, a fact that I became acutely aware of when Jimmy started lifting it up and sticking his hand in there. "Whhhoa, whoa!" I batted his hand away--having two people fuck on top of me isn't high on my bucket list. As I did so, another hand trailed up my arm in a way that... well, it was trying for 'sensual', I think? But since there was GLASS in that hand it did not work. Shit shit shit

While I was wriggling to extract myself, somebody moved closer to my ear and all I got was a heavy, mumbling "...missed you..." before he turned my chin toward his face and began licking my mouth. Ohhhh boy. I pushed him away as gently as I could, even though I kind of wanted to smack him. Leave it to Gary to get himself hurt. But my hangups could wait; I needed to get the tweezers and anti-bacterial swabs, stat.

Jimmy and Zoe were... doing their own thing from what I could hear, but (ahem) they moved off my legs willingly enough. Geez, how long had Jimmy been trying to wake me up? There was practically no circulation in my leg. As I stumbled, Gary wrapped an arm around my waist, yanking me toward him as he whined, "No no no no... pleeeeease don' leeve me..."

Okay getting scary. But I don't have the time or mental power to deal with that at this fucking moment! "Gary, something's wrong with your--" I stopped, thought. He wouldn't want to hear criticism right now. I had to tell him something he wanted to hear.... Steeling myself, I said the thing that I knew would get him to follow me. "Let's go.. be alone?" His grip loosened a bit, so I added, "And I'll.. erm, kiss and m_{ake it better?}" I am so bad at this romantic talk stuff.

Even so, he perked up. "Really!?" His expression was so open.... Then he smirked and it looked a lot more normal. "See?? TOLD you it'd work, morons!" This didn't seem to have much effect on the slurping noises that I forced myself to ignore while I lead/dragged Gary to the bathroom.

Turn the light on first. I reflexively batted away the hands that had started fiddling with the buttons on my PJ's. "Give me a secon-" His face met mine in probably the worst kiss of my life. Using his distraction to my advantage, I grabbed a hand and twisted it away. "Let me do something." Run the water so it's warm, have tweezers and a dish/bowl, iodine for sterilization... I kept rummaging, trying to find some bandages, but then Gary placed his hand on my chin to turn my head his way. "You're pushing the glass deeper-"

"I don't care..." he breathed and... well, I froze. I couldn't think enough to do anything. Sticky-sweet mixed with the alcohol in Gary's mouth to make it feel like kissing child's cough medicine. "..missed you so much..."

I finally forced myself to step away and take some deep breaths, discretely wiping my mouth. I had to find out what the heck was going on.... Clearing my throat, I started with the question I imagined I'd have asked Gary if we were hanging out normally. "How was the party?"

Gary blinked slowly while I steered him to the toilet. Eventually licking his lips and shaking his head, it was like he was trying to get his thoughts in order. "Right, party... yeah. Yeah, we did." He smirked before suddenly looking... guilty? "I kissed Jimmy..."

He was biting his lip, like he was waiting for me to say something. I was more preoccupied with trying to get him to keep his hand still so I could actually start. "Good for you."

"You're... not mad?" Towel on lap check, soap dish nearby, check.

What was he talking about? "Why would I be mad about that?" It's hardly my business who either of them kiss. Jimmy likes basically everyone, so it was hardly a shock. "I'm taking the glass out now."

Gary spluttered incoherently while I inspected for a suitable shard to extract. "Because... because you still like me! And I like you!"

I snorted as I selected the largest one from what I could tell. "You're allowed to like multiple people, you know." Anyway, "Ready?" After staring at me like I was crazy, he nodded. The gash began bleeding anew, since the glass had been plugging the flow and held in place by the blood crusted around it.

I dabbed rubbing alcohol on the wound. "Weird, it doesn't even hurt."

"Yeah depressives are like that." Now done pinching the wound together so the medical glue could do its thing, I steered the conversation in a productive direction. "So, how'd you hurt your hand like this?"

He avoided my gaze, muttering "I was knocking on your window, but you didn't wake up..."

I had to swallow my instinct to ask a million questions, like why he was trying to get into my house via my window, or how 'knocking' became 'punching', or why he hadn't just used a rock. My finely-tuned Gary instincts told me pointing out his mistakes would only result in more anger. I resumed inspecting his hand, selecting a small shard lodged in his palm, commenting absently "So what else did you do at the party?" as I pulled it out. Asking him about himself always made Gary more comfortable.

He took a while to respond, or three clinks of shards of glass going in the bowl. This wasn't a 'thinking about the correct response' kind of pause that usually came with having a conversation with Gary. Instead it seemed like his brain was just more sluggish than usual. "What else?..." I let another blood-stained shard clink into the soap dish. "Oh, uh... there was aaa hot tub." He nodded to himself, as if fact-checking his own memory before continuing "and... lockpicking, at one point." He frowned--for somebody who hates not knowing things like Gary, clink, I would imagine that not knowing if your own memory can be relied upon would be very frustrating. "Also, weed." He nodded assuredly to himself before pausing, and saying "Booze, too. Lotta that." Clink, "But there might've been somre stuff in there, so..." Now that he'd started talking, Gary seemed much more relaxed. Clink. Lucky him. "And there were a ton of annoying rich people. One girl wouldn't stop talking to me until I found somebody else for her to rub her genitals on." He stuck his tongue out in disgust (in time with another clink) like that was the worst prospect he'd heard in his life. That was the left hand done.

I pushed myself up from the ground, rubbing my knees as I stretched my legs--note to self, don't kneel on tile for an extended amount of time. "Sounds like you were having fun, then." I was proud that I kept my tone casual. "So why come here?"

Grabbing a towel and kneeling on that as I shifted over to do his other hand, Gary rolled his eyes. "Obviously we weren't having fun; you weren't there!" He managed to phrase that statement as if there was a straight thread of logic between my absence and an absence of fun. Clink. "Everybody was so boring and annoying! Plus, the only reason you weren't there was because I wouldn't'v gone if you were there." Clink. "But by then I'd changed my mind, so it made sense to bring the party to you." He shrugged, clink, like it was the most obvious thing in the fucking world! Sterilizing a particularly nasty gash made him hiss and jerk back. "Watch it, Femme Boy! Geez!"

A thousand other times Gary had berated me came in a rush. For liking something as dumb as Sonic. For not wanting to smash things with a baseball bat. For being a liar. Automatically I squeezed my eyes shut and did my best to hold in the tears I could feel building because Gary would make fun of me and I don't--arms wrapped around me, I was shaking, and then lips against... "No, stop.." Gary just chuckled and that lit a spark of anger. I shoved him back. "I said stop!"

He grimaced, but actually managed to look sincere when he mumbled, "Sorry. Din't mean you to cry..." He reached out a hand and I

Scooting away I took a deep breath. That was very un-Gary behavior. As I tried to catch up to what the fuck that was, Gary groaned. "God, you're so weird!" That familiar smirk again, "I can see you want me, what's holding you back?" Huh? what did he--oh.

My face went fucking vermilion, I'd bet a million dollars. Acidly, I growled, "You fuckers woke me up in the middle of the night, having morning wood isn't indicative of jack shit!"

He slid off the toilet to join me on the floor. "Oh I think it's indicative of something.." His smile was that fucking 'plan is coming together' smile. "I'll play teacher's pet and you school me on anatomy, Petey~"

Gross. "Shut up! God!" I stared him in the eye. "You spent the last week refusing to talk to me, don't you hate me now?"

"That's my line." We glared at each other for a solid thirty seconds. Siiigh.

Quietly, "Is your hand okay now?" After a bit, he nodded. "Good." Pushing myself up from the floor, I sat down on the lip of the tub next to him. "I don't hate you, Gary."

"Could've fooled me."

I ignored this. "I know I hurt you. And... the way I said it was too harsh." I must've gone over that last conversation like five times a day since it happened, trying to do it better. "I was just.. so freaked out, and scared."

He joined me on the tub and put his hand on mine. "But you don't need to be scared, Petey!"

"But I am! I'm afraid this is morally wrong, that I don't know what the hell I'm even doing..."

He snorted. "If you give me that cock and bull about the age thing again, so help me Petey."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at that. "Yeah, okay, technically the age thing isn't.. exactly the reason..." I stared at him as he shifted away. How could I possibly explain how jarring the normal world is for me? The way every time I saw him I had to remind myself over and over again that this was a specific person with a specific set of memories? Even though I'd escaped the loops, it was like my mind was still trapped. And it terrified me that, on some level, maybe that would never go away. So yeah. ''Scared'' wasn't exactly the right word, but it was the closest I could get. As I tried to think of how to phrase any of this, Gary--with absolutely no warning--bent forward and puked directly on the bathroom rug. After a couple moments he straightened up and wiped off his mouth. I was speechless. "...there's a bathtub literally behind you."

"..oh." He looked around, and grabbed one of Mom's washcloths. A few moments later it was 'clean'. We made eye contact and the redness of his eyes and the pallor of his skin was apparent. "So you... what? Agreed to date me out of pity?"

Now that the immediate danger of Gary's hand had been fixed, I was reminded that I needed to deal with three drunk teenagers for the rest of the night (because I was not sending them home in their current state) and that two of them were probably having sex in my bed right now. This whole situation was already well past the threshold of my patience. Gary Smith's piping hot emotional issues weren't something I had the energy or ability to deal with right now. "No. I didn't." As I left the bathroom, I added, "We'll talk about this when you're not drunk off your ass." Yes. Tomorrow, when he's experiencing the joys of a first hangover. Gary could shoulder his own insecurities for twenty four hours.

To nobody's surprise, my bed was creaking rhythmically in time with Jimmy and Zoe's moaning. Before I could get a word in, Zoe looked up her task and said in a very coy voice "Theeeere ya 're--c'mon, join the party why don'tchya?~" punctuated with riding Jimmy.

I'd had enough. "No. It's time to eat and drink some water." It was pretty awkward trying to direct this at the both of them, "Having sex is neither of those activities." I couldn't exactly see Jimmy's face.

Zoe tsked, saying "Aw, that's no fun..." before leaning forward and grasping Gary by the hand. "How 'bout you?" To my surprise, he actually stepped forward, almost like he was in a trance as Zoe put his hand on her breast. She giggled, using her other hand to reach down to her crotch. I just watched for a couple seconds, my mouth hanging open. This was seriously a thing that was happening, in my room, at disgusting-o'clock in the morning. I finally pulled myself together, walking over to the side of the bed and wrapping my arms around Zoe's waist. "Ooh, changed your mi--" but I hauled her off my bed to dump her on the floor, which cut her short.

I clapped twice. "Can I have your attention please?" For a few seconds they were kind of dazed, before everyone started whining again. My eye twitched. "Excuse me I am talking please do not talk over me when I am talking!" I took a deep breath to steady myself--luckily it seemed like nobody was arguing. I opened my eyes and made steady eye-contact with each person in the room as I spoke. "You are all going to--quietly!--line up at the door, because apparently you're all immature fucking children and need to be treated as such. We will then go downstairs to the kitchen, where you're all going to eat a meal and drink at least three glasses of water each. Nobody is going to have sex, and nobody is going to go to sleep until at least..." I checked my watch. It's three AM, so.. "...Six in the morning. Is that clear?"

A pause. Everybody was blinking at me in blank shock. Zoe piped up first, sighing as she got up. "Geez, man, way to be a buzzkill."

This time my whole face twitched. I laughed a little, sneering "Oh am I being a buzzkill? I'm soooo sorry!" I leaned close enough to poke her in the chest and hiss "You guys are literally breaking and entering and were at a party that I'm sure was not legal considering how drunk you all seem." Adding air quotes, I continued "So I'm sorry if I'm 'killing' your 'buzz', but if I were you I wouldn't want to fuck with me right now. Because I could easily go call the police and get each of you in huge trouble." I let that sink in for a moment as I glared at her.

Somebody grabbed my arm and pulled at me clumsily. As Jimmy slipped off the bed, he growled "You're n't my fuckin' mom, Pete." I'd gotten a tiny bit taller than Jimmy, but he could still easily kick my ass, drunk or not. And he and Zoe together? I wouldn't stand a snowball's chance in hell.

But I didn't care. "You're right, Jimmy. If your mom was here, she wouldn't care that you've been..." I began counting on my fingers. "Drinking heavily and underage, having unprotected sex, oh! And you didn't do the thing I expressly asked you to do," I pointed for emphasis, "i.e. keep Gary from doing anything stupid!" I heard snickering behind me so I spun around. "All that goes for you too Zoe, so shut the fuck up." She was so surprised she automatically stopped. I made eye-contact with Jimmy again. "So no. I'm not your mom, because I expected better from you." After a beat I bent down and began picking up discarded articles of clothing. "Now let's get downstairs. My parents are asleep, be really quiet." Luckily everybody actually listened that time. Boy, explaining this to Mom and Dad was gonna be fun...

Chapter Text

I can hear Petey's voice nearby. "I know how this looks, but I take full responsibility for it, okay?" He sounds upset... I put my hand on his shoulder, trying to be soothing, be a supportive boyfriend.

A different person's sigh reaches my ears. "That's not what worries me." For Petey's part, he flinched away from my hand, not meeting my gaze. Instead I look up and see a man who looks familiar. "Peter, your mother and I support you and your social life." He looks pointedly at me, and I recognize Petey's dad from many a surprise playdate in our childhood. "And of course that means.. experimenting." His disappointment in me is palpable. "It's just..."

The memory of the breakup comes flooding back, and I'm frozen in a conflicting tide of emotion. "You don't like my friends." I flinch at that. This, oddly, has a far more outsize effect than is reasonable, as my whole body twitched and my eyes blinked open. Only to be squeezed shut an instant later at the burst of pain in my skull.

I was too busy groaning in pain, but soft voices drifting in from the other room clued me in to the fact that my dream hadn't been entirely fictional. Petey's dad was saying "...there aren't some friends to be made that.. have more positive life trajectories?" Even as horrible as I felt I couldn't help a small chuckle as a particularly loud puking sound punctuated his statement.

Even so, Petey's response was as cold as I'd ever heard Femme Boy's voice get. "I can't just stop loving them, Dad."

Femme Dad sighed. "Yes, well. Getting more friends would do you some good, too."

"Oh." Petey then confirmed his dad didn't need to call in sick, that he would get Femme Mom if any problems arose. All finished off with a hug, no doubt.

Now that I had been flung bodily into the world of the conscious, I could focus more on how wretched I felt. My head was throbbing, as was my hand, and my clothes felt crunchy with dried sweat. Disgusting. My blood ran cold as I realized I had no memories of what happened before I fell asleep--the most recent thing I could recall was... challenging Zoe to a drinking contest? My eyes were closed but I frowned anyway as I flipped through what else I could dredge from the depths--I'd gone to the party with Jimmy and Zoe, Zoe had said some bullshit about Pete so I'd wandered off to be bored by myself, began drinking, and then... oh, right. I suppressed a disgusted groan when the memory of jerking the moron off came back to me. After that, the specifics of what happened became far less distinct. I felt, rather than saw, chanting crowds, a concerned Petey, Jimmy blushing, fleeing through darkened gardens, and Zoe belching straight into my face.

I pushed myself so I was sitting up, and each movement felt as if my brain was being thrown against the side of my own skull. Clutching at my forehead, I was trying to stymie the pounding when I heard Petey's voice coming closer. "...help replenish your fluids."

From the other room, I could hear an angry shout of "FUCK YOU .. aND YOUR WATER!" that was rather undercut by the sound of puking.

I cracked an eye open warily, only to squeeze it shut a millisecond later. Good Lord since when was sunlight that bright!? "Oh! You're up!" He sounded so blasé about it! By the time I managed to get one eye open, he was already coming toward me. He just watched for awhile, and I couldn't maintain eye contact for very long, so I turned my face to press into the couch in shame. My memory of rubbing my erection on JIMMY HOPKINS of all fucking people was still surprisingly vivid. Above me I heard Petey sigh, and moments later felt the couch dip as he sat down with me.

"So. How much do you remember?"

Fucking end me. "...enough."

"Do you remember smashing my window?" I flexed my hand. A shard of frustration came back, but nothing more. "Or giving me the worst kiss of my life?" Inadvertently, my eyes flew open at that, which caused another piteous groan of pain at the stab of light. "Mm. I'll take that as a 'no'."

We sat in silence for a few moments. But I couldn't take it anymore. "Just tell me.." I croaked out. "Can't stand not knowing..." It felt like a burning pit in my own brain.

I could feel Petey shifting, then he had the gall to put his hand on my shoulder. "It's not like that--" rolling over and snarling at him at least made him back off. I could only hear him in one ear as I pressed myself into the couch in an effort to make myself disappear. "Sorry. You just... we were talking about. You know. Why I..." He trailed off.

I couldn't help myself. "What, tried to justify an act of pure cruelty?" A mental image of Zoe, smoke curling up from her mouth as she grimaced in disgust, popped into my head for some reason. Weird.

A deep sigh. "...well, you're not wrong." Huh? "I.. look, I have a lot of memories of you, Gary. And a lot of memories of.. Garys that aren't you." Cracking an eye open a peep, I braved the pain to see Pete hunched over as he talked. "And I know it's not fair to think of that stuff, but I can't stop, okay?"

"...what 'stuff'?" I had one eye fully open now, so I was able to see him tense up. Further forcing my sandpaper vocal chords to croak out, "I'd like to know what shit I'm being blamed for."

"I'm not blaming you! It's just..." He fiddled with his shirt and looked away. "Sometimes, the. Things you do, they... make me remember something in the loops, okay? And it's really weird."

I finally pushed myself up and stared him in the eye. It hurt like a motherfucker, but I wanted to hear him. "Like. What." He looked uncomfortable. I pushed myself closer to him. "Fucking say it!" I wanted him to try and justify this fucking bullshit.

He flinched, but thought. After a bit, "...Right before our first kiss, you said a bunch of stuff that reminded me of the time I tricked.. or, um. This time I drugged you."

A bird chirped. Groans of pain and conversation drifted in from the kitchen. "What the fuck?" I leaned away. "The hell are you talking about?"

But his gaze was steady. "I ground it into powder and sprinkled it on your food."

My stomach twisted. Not being able to choose what sorts of chemicals go into my body.. it had been why I'd been so resistant to the medication in the first place. If it hadn't been for Petey, I'd probably never taken my medication, but he gave me the license to use it when I choose to. To see it as a tool, not as a burden. But this? My stomach twisted in icy fear. "Did you do that to me, too??"

He shook his head. "No! No. It was... I was a lot younger. And dumber." He smiled sadly at me. "That version of you figured out what I was doing and chewed me out big-time." I didn't return his smile, and it faded.

"What is this? You're trying to creep me out so much I don't want to date you?"

"I'm trying to make you understand why I don't think this," he gestured between us, "Works. I know this is a cliché to say, but it's not you--it's me." If moving my eyeballs didn't feel like they were being scraped against sandpaper in my own skull, I would've rolled my eyes right out of my head. But before I could comment he continued "I have a lot of shit I need to work out before I can even think about this stuff." He said it with a sense of finality and in my mind I felt a door close. This... he was serious. As I stayed silent and let my thoughts whir, his confident air slipped and he fidgeted nervously. "So..." I privately marveled that even after all that'd happened, I could still admire how freaking cute he is.

I opened my mouth, closed it. It hurt knowing I could never be with him again. But all my emotions had been pulled out of me, wrung out like sponges, and put back. And I wanted it to be over. I let out a long breath. "Well, alright." His eyes went wide, and I tried a glib comment to regain a bit of my dignity. "We all know how delicate your feminine constitution is..."

Had to let my sentence trail away into vagueness because he'd smiled. My heart clenched in my chest at the relief in his face. "Thank you, Gary!" He let out a breath too. The sound of conversation from the other room--I couldn't distinguish the voices but it was probably Zoe and moron--drifted in from the other room. After a moment he asked haltingly, "I understand if you can't but are you willing to stay friends?"

I scrubbed a hand over my face. Part of me wanted to say 'no' out of sheer spite, but I also remembered spending countless hours staring at my ceiling this week feeling mopey. "Let's be real Petey, I can't afford to lose the only friend I have."

That made him elbow me. "Hey! What about Jimmy and Zoe?" He shot me a playful smile. "You seemed pretty friendly with them last night..."

"Ugh... don't remind me..." I couldn't help but smile at the way he laughed. It was awkward, but it was Pete. I sighed. "Listen. Don't take this the wrong way, but can you leave? I want to be alone for a bit."

A soft, sad, stomach-twistingly beautiful smile. "Sure, of course." Over his shoulder, he added, "There's eggs and toast for breakfast when you're ready." Then he was gone. I stared after him for a bit, trying to listen to the ensuing conversation. I could pick up on which voice was Pete's even through the door. But my head hurt too much for it and I let myself flop back onto the couch and resume my examination of the ceiling.

I felt kind of obligated to experience some sort of big emotion, but.. I'd already spent nearly every day since the breakup crying myself to sleep. In the harsh light of morning, all my angst seemed.. excessive. I pressed a hand against my chest. Still an ache there. Maybe I'd never get over it.

After stewing in dark thoughts for some minutes, I was roused to action by raucous laughter from the other room. Not to mention the grumbling in my stomach. Hauling my sorry corpse from the couch, I made my way to the other room with a little breakfast counter. Petey was bustling in the kitchen on the other side, conversing with the moron as he did so. "Ooh, yo, morning asshole." That was Jimmy. He grinned at me. "You look fucking rough dude!"

I merely grunted in response, and perched myself on the arm of the loveseat where Zoe was lying in misery. When I did she croaked "Still pissed at you for winning that contest, dude." But while she said so, she moved so she was sitting up, and patted the seat next to her. I accepted the seat only to find her head in my lap. "Ah! Comfy."

From the other room, Petey's voice drifted, "You like your eggs over hard with peanut butter and jelly toast on the side, right Gary?" A moment I'd had with Zoe last night filtered back. i Shits about a power dynamic and experience, not literal time. i Huh. I glanced down at her, wondering what she recalled.

Still, he was correct--as always. I gave an affirmative grunt. After a few moments, Jimmy evidently couldn't handle even that amount of silence. "Sooo... that was a fun night, eh?" He was shooting me a grin.

Zoe piped up. "Fun!? Dude, I had to run from the cops three Goddamn times!" She rolled her eyes. "I do enough of that shit at home." Then she looked up at me and smiled a coy little smile before nuzzling against my stomach. "Not a total loss, though." And to my shock, I felt a flutter of arousal. Not the inferno of Petey's touch, but that was still new.

Jimmy, utterly ruining the moment, held his glass of orange juice up in a toast. "I'll drink to that!"

Pete had just finished my food and handed me the plate. He sighed as he did so. "Man, I can't imagine having fun at one of those parties! They're always so... loud? How can you have fun socializing if you can't talk to somebody?"

Jimmy and Zoe probably responded to this, but I let myself just admire the way the sunlight streamed into the room, lighting up the dust motes that were disturbed as Petey walked through it. Jimmy and Zoe and Petey kept chatting and I let myself soak in the atmosphere of friendly conversation.