Chapter Text
Captain America looks good in blue
I bet he'd blush all red when we do the fondue
I'd suck Capsicle
Like a popsicle
The Winter Soldier looks like he needs some fun
I'd help him unwind, warm him up with my tongue
Hello there Fluffikins
How d'you like the lickin'?
Why don't you suck these fingers that I'm going to stick in?
The Punisher he is kinda hot
I wish he'd punish me I can take a lot
Spider-Twink's so hung
but he's too young
gotta wait a year or two
Before we begin to screw
The Wolverine is a sexy munchkin
I'd do him on the table in the X-men's mansion
Victor Creed likes killin'
He's a tacky-ass villain
But he's got a nice ass that I wouldn't mind fillin'
I wouldn't say no
to Domino
She's good with a gun, I like that in a ho
And I'd do Cable
anytime I was able
Up against the wall, on the couch or the table
Black Widow seems like a freak in bed,
I'd like her to choke me, put a gun to my head
Melinda May,
Rumor has it she's gay,
But maybe she'll let me eat her out all the same.
X-23 is a Wolvie with boobs,
I wouldn't mind a threesome with her and with Jubes,
And Wolvie's son Daken
He'd do even a Kraken
But the whole city says he's not bad at lovemakin'
The Iron Man is an Iron Man-Whore
With fancy gadgets, high tech sex toys galore
I heard he likes to rock
on his friend's big black cock
And seein' Doc Doom for science and more
I wouldn't say no if Blade asked for a fuck
I heard he likes to bite and knows how to suck
And Hawkeye is hot,
Always hits the right spot,
I'd let him nail me like an I-don't-know-what
Magneto rocks the purple and pink
If he put on a dress I could buy him a drink
Professor X
Must know all about sex
I'd let him mind-fuck me till we're both moaning wrecks
Cyclops and Daredevil have lovely-ass asses
I've always had thing for nerds wearing glasses
The Hulk's weird and green
But he's got a huge peen
I wouldn't mind us going for a round or fourteen
Ms Rachel Alves wears a bulletproof vest
Dammit that skull looks good on her chest
And I like Mystique
though she's kinda a dick
I'd do her hard like in a porn flick
Chapter 2: Jingle Bells
Summary:
Since it's Christmas soon... Or is it? I can't tell the time worth a damn.
Chapter Text
Jingle bells
Wolvie smells,
Magneto is gay,
Cyke looks like
An ugly dike
But I wanna do Jean Grey.
Chapter 3: Little Miss Cable
Summary:
Yet another cheesy ditty from Dearly Demented Deadpool (wait a minute, aren't alliterations more like Dexter Morgan's thing? And more importantly, who cares?)
Chapter Text
Little Miss Cable,
('Wait, Nate's anything but little!'
"Shut up, you know nothing about writing.")
Sat at a table,
Eating a sandwich or two,
Along came a Spider,
and sat down beside her
And asked "Wait, are you doing Wade too?"
Chapter 4: The Wolvie Song
Summary:
Because Wolvie is a big kitten who drinks beer and smokes cigars
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Small Wolvie,
Hairy Wolvie
Little ball of fluff
Cranky Wolvie
Smoking Wolvie
Puff puff puff
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Wool, wool, Wolverine,
X-men's greatest claw machine