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One last time. That's all Keith wanted. One last time together before he pulled away and everything fell apart. He couldn't let himself distract Shiro any more than he had. Could he? No, it wasn't right. He knew it. It was so damn hard to really believe that, though. Especially when he was looking up at him like that, all messy hair and sleepy smiles. He was beautiful.
"Earth to Keith. You're spacing out on me."
"That's stupid. No puns in the bedroom."
"Then don't give me openings." He looked so satisfied with himself. Keith wanted to kiss that dumb grin off his face. He was already spent so he lets himself lower down against his chest, pressing his ear against him and basking in the sounds of his body: the quick, steady flutter of his heart and a deep chuckle were so Shiro that he wondered for a second how he could have second thoughts about anything.
Shiro. Voltron. Their friends. The war..
He huffed and tightened his fingers against Shiro, clinging to him. That was how. The shift wasn't lost on his lover and after a second of confusion Keith felt himself being enveloped in strong arms. Cool metal sent a small chill across his back. "Keith?"
"It's nothing."
"You telling me it's nothing only makes me assume the opposite." He sat up, bringing Keith with him and letting him resettle in his lap. They looked at each other for a second before Keith dropped his gaze. "What's bothering you?"
"I.. " He frowned. Why was he getting tongue tied? He'd gone over it all in his head. He'd decided they'd spend one last night together before he brought it up. It would seem Shiro was speeding things up. "Shiro, I feel like we.. maybe there's a lot going on right now."
"When is there not? There's always something." He nuzzled Keith's ear and the younger man closed his eyes.
"I know, but I mean.. ugh! stop for a second!" He leaned away, putting a little space between them. If he weren't careful he'd get lost in his feelings. "Shiro, there's a lot of heavy stuff going on. A LOT. Is it really okay that we're.. can we be together like this?"
Shiro stared at him, his face turning serious as he took in the soft glare and hunching shoulders of his boyfriend. "Keith, I love you."
"Don't.. "
"No, you don't. I know we're in the middle of some very big things right now. I'd have to be stupid to not notice that. And you're.. what? Is this is breakup? What are you even doing?"
"I don't know." Keith jerked away from him, his face scrunching up as he stood and began searching around for his clothes. He'd thrown them aside without caring where they went and all he seemed able to find now were Shiro's..
"Keith?" He watched him worriedly. Normally he would have taken the chance to admire him but the only thought in Shiro's mind was that Keith was too far away from him. Too far and too hurt over something he wasn't picking up on.
"We were all thrown across the damn galaxy! Who knew if we'd see each other again or even if the others were alive!" He kicked Shiro's shirt away, grunting in frustration as his voice cracked. "It's only going to get more dangerous from here, isn't it? What about when we die? We don't know that it'll happen but it's more than likely to, isn't it?"
"Keith!"
"I can't deal with that! I don't want to! It'll be hard enough to lose friends but if I had to.. " he stopped, his shoulders sagging. "If I lost you.. "
Shiro was on his feet instantly, catching the younger man from behind and pulling him back against his chest. This was what he was worked up about? He was sure it was in the back of all their minds but none of them wanted to really dwell on it. The smaller body went stiff against him, relaxing slowly when Shiro buried his nose in the dark hair. "Don't. Don't do this. I know how you feel but really.. is it worth it? Isn't the fact that we could all lose each other all the more reason to be honest with each other?"
"Shiro, I don't.. "
"I do love you. Whether you love me or just find me exciting, I do. And even if you don't want to do this anymore that won't change." Keith shook his head, but his hands rose to grip Shiro's arms, wanting more contact. "If you let me I'll tell you that until your'e absolutely sick of it."
"Sick of you saying you love me.. "
"Uh huh."
"My friendship with Lance should prove to you I have a high tolerance for bullshit."
"My feelings for you are bullshit, are they?" He smiled, loosening his hold on Keith so he could turn around and they could see each other. The smaller man looked unsure, but a faint smile curled his mouth.
"No. I know you wouldn't lie about that sort of thing." He leaned into Shiro and let his arms wind around his waist. "I may have been worrying needlessly.. "
"No, we can't keep that stuff pent up inside. We need to talk about it."
"Okay."
"But maybe.. not such good timing. You ruined my afterglow."
"Shit, I did!" He'd been so preoccupied with his thoughts he hadn't even thought about his timing. His surprise showed on his face, causing Shiro to break into laughter. "I'm sorry, Shiro.. "
"It's okay. Maybe we can try it again?"
"Maybe. Without the half-hearted break up attempt this time." He grinned and let Shiro pull him back to the bed.
"Let's just stop talking?"
"Good idea."