From a picky-reader: You are a gifted writer and I really enjoyed this fic :) Your characterizations were wonderful, and it was really easy to follow along and flow with the story. The build up was beautiful and the sex scene was smoking (I'm a huge fan of experienced John and newb/shy Sherlock).
But I will second the "where did the lube and condom" appear from comment. The magically appearing supplies took me right out the story and I was scrolling around trying to figure out where they appeared. It's hard to get back into a story once the narrative's been broken like that. I do love your condom-fairy explanation in the comments though. So maybe just something to keep in mind for your next story (I do hope there will be many more from you, it's so nice to find such an enjoyable writing style).
I will probably go back and fix this at some point. Now that it's been pointed out, it's bothering me as well. This is what I get for not having a beta.
notice how the writer didn't comment on being gifted and your other positive things, notice how only the negative was commented on?
the same with the other comment to girchika, the writer didn't say wow twice! it was so good you read it twice
sorry to hear though the magic spell was broken for you
you got a point there
just I think it's sad how easily creators of all things always tend to let the negative stay and let the words of awesomeness slip away
so I just
idk
okay this is gonna sound rude so sorry please forgive me maybe you no all of us need to use our imagination
so we won't need every detail to be right 'cause the details kills the joy of creation and I want the writer to be ridiculously happy with this, it's what xe deserves for this wonderful thing
Most writers appreciate and even ask for con-crit (constructive-criticism) as it helps them to write even better stories next time. Writers tend to appreciate knowing how their story comes across to a reader, even if it's not necessarily all good news. It is definitely bad form to criticize without offering suggestions to improve though.
Also, it's generally accepted that a writer's story should lead you through the plot, not focus on certain points and neglect the in-betweens. Imagine reading The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (Chronicles of Narnia series) if the writer never wrote about the wardrobe. Every time the characters moved between our world and Narnia, that part was just left blank and you had to imagine how they managed it. Or Harry Potter is with his aunt & uncle, Hagrid show up, then suddenly they're at Hogwarts without any idea of how they got there. It's still a story, but it creates a huge break in the reality of the tale. It just doesn't work well in story writing.
The writer of this fic did a great job leading us through a wonderful story, but simply missed a step. Now they're aware and know how that missed step can affect the story to a reader. This is a good writer - hopefully one that will continue to write good stories for us to enjoy. I'm not sure about being ridiculously happy, but they should definitely be proud of themselves and this fic. I'm a picky-reader, a great editor, and wonderful and con-crits, but I don't have half the writing skill this author has. They wrote a really great story. Major kudos to them.
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Fatal_S Mon 08 Dec 2014 06:10AM UTC
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testosterone_tea Sat 13 Dec 2014 09:51AM UTC
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satan_in_a_tea_cup Wed 17 Dec 2014 04:10AM UTC
Last Edited Wed 17 Dec 2014 04:13AM UTC
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Fatal_S Wed 17 Dec 2014 05:15AM UTC
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