Comment on amor fati

  1. suninthesky on Chapter 2 Mon 28 Jan 2019 09:37PM UTC

    i’m so sorry that reading this chapter took me like over a month but i’ve been so busy with life and stuff like that so finally i’m here and i read it all in one go on the bus and i’m so so very much amazed i don’t think i’ll find the proper words to express myself!!

    also consider that mr javier fernandez made me double as emotional (so place your bets who cried like probably even more times than yuzuru agdjsh)

    so anyway!!

    i always love when you allow us to visit your own yuzu and javi world. an alternate reality where they’re maybe something more than just training partner soulmates (it’s already a lot, they really do have this bond i think many will struggles their whole lives to experience even something similar to that), where maybe their eyes meet at the right times and the world around is a little bit kinder. they always seem so real and tangible when i read them portrayed through your eyes. there’s nothing rushed or forced in how you write their interactions and i don’t know it just feels different but in a good way.

    another thing i really enjoy so far is our narrator yuzuru having all these internal conflicts about javi yet always ending up giving in to the kindness that the other just overflows with. i like how we kind of don’t really know what’s going on inside of javi’s head, how he perceives the whole tattoo thing and i’m of course curious to see how he’ll react to their shared dates.

    also another miscellaneous thing that i really enjoyed is how we get to relive all of their past competitions together and just all these years of them as “javi and yuzu, yuzu and javi, training mates under the same coach brian orser, rivals and friends, respectful and kind to each other”. also maybe this chapter is hitting me hard because javi has already officially retired and at least right now i just can’t imagine him not being there, them not being a set anymore.

    listening to galileo galilei and reading this chapter was probably the best experience i’ve had so far this year though!!

    again, thank you so much for writing and i can’t wait for the next chapter!!

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    1. emergencyquad on Chapter 2 Thu 31 Jan 2019 08:28PM UTC

      OKAY OKAY IM ONLY CRYING A LITTLE BIT (A LOT) AT THIS REALLY BEAUTIFUL COMMENT. i swear i dont deserve this ;; i relate to mr javier fernandez making you emotional bc... same. especially now with that new nhk interview, my eyes have been consistently wet since everyone has started translating it. i mean, i was already crying over europeans and yuzu's message to javi but now it's like... unbearably painful. i almost can't handle all the content.

      so anyway! i'm glad i managed to create a whole yuzu javi world, really really glad that it was able to be perceived as such! but maybe it helps that they really do have this unshakable bond you mentioned, that i think takes a lot to understand. i think they themselves have only just begun to understand how special it truly was, now that this portion of javier's career is coming to a close. and maybe im being too fake deep again, but i cant wait till their paths intersect again one day, because something just tells me it most definitely will. A LITTLE OFF TOPIC THERE anyway, i am so very flattered you find the way i write them so real and tangible, that is one of my main concerns when writing a pairing. i know it is fiction, but i want it to feel like an artwork rather than a fanfic? does this even make sense? no probably not, i'm sorry.

      having yuzu as the narrator throughout the whole fic was a struggle for me. i started out writing yuzuvier in javiers point of view, since to me he was the one easier to relate to. yuzuru is this mystery in many, many ways, but that's probably why i was so set on writing all these events through his eyes. somehow, i feel that he would be the type to have many internal conflicts, almost like he is always having a fight between two sides of himself. and javi is just there, a consistently kind person whose character rarely falters. i left javier as a sort of question mark to the readers though, because i think he is still a mystery to yuzu, as well.

      !!!! writing about past competitions was my own self indulgent way of taking a moment to live in their past, because it seems like so far away now, looking back. "javi and yuzu, yuzu and javi" they will be a part of history forever, and no one will ever forget their names. WRITING it hit me hard too, and the second part is hurting even more. there is just so much history there and i want to make my attempt at conveying all of it through a fictional story. it hurts to know they won't always be brought up in the same context anymore, as training mates and rivals, as obvious gold medal contenders. OKAY now maybe my eyes are wet again.

      GALILEO GALILEI..... i-i... i really wrote this whole giant mess listening to them, im not even exaggerating. that's so crazy akjsdjhklsdbfjhbs

      THANK YOU so much for commenting, this seriously gave me the motivation to try and make the next part into something readable sakjdfnlksdjfbs <3

      (ps im rereading this reply and it sounds insane im so sorry. i have. a lot of fake deep musings.)

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