Comment on Fire Rose

  1. TalonScythe (Guest) on Chapter 6 Tue 22 Oct 2019 02:03PM UTC

    A wonderful story so far, love the attention to both character and detail you've provided.

    Ashen acts and feels like a character like him should. An immortal being who has seen and done it all, walked across the world for countless ages of death and rebirth that make Ozpin and Salem look like children in comparison.
    Natural for a being like him, he is absolutely DONE with interfering with the affairs of a world that barely remembers a whisper of his world existence and wants nothing more then peace and solitude for the rest of eternity. Its an accurate depiction for a being like Ashen and I'm glad he acts so jaded for now, it shows that he treats Ruby as little more than a child that will grow up to forget him and likely expects that this situation will not be the last. I know to expect this mindset wont entirely be present later and he'll likely grow attach to Ruby with time, but at least its a good starting point for future developments.

    Speaking which, Ruby's personality is also well written. You've done a great job at displaying how unique and kindhearted she is and I'm enjoying how your building her and Ashen's relationship. Normally with a setting like this you could have just left it at Ruby being a special individual that catches Ashen's attention and go from their. However, instead to using a common cliché you took the time to actually break down the HOW, WHAT, and the WHY of their character motivations and crafted interactions that greatly build on their established traits. Its a method of character writing that I'm looking forward seeing develop more in time.

    Your world building has been fantastic so far. Patch island having a lower Grimm population thanks to Firelink shrine, the danger of locations like the Badlands and even a reason for the existence of huntsman licences. So many little details that add depth to the world and lore and I'm excited to see you develop Remnant into a more fully realized world.

    This story feels like its hardly begun, and already I'm over here singing praises about it. A fantastic beginning full of potential, looking forward to more in the future!

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    1. GentlemanMad on Chapter 6 Tue 22 Oct 2019 09:00PM UTC

      You will have a lot to look forward to. I'm glad you liked everything so far. Thanks for the review.

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