Comment on he's got blue eyes like the devil's water

1. juniperberry1776 on Chapter 3 Tue 08 Jun 2021 10:28PM UTC

   

   i am so not trying to be rude and if this comes off as mean just tell me but a tip when writing is to not state feelings. example: instead of saying "he felt anxious" you could say "he brought his arms closer to his body, like he was trying to make himself smaller" im not a good writer so that example was pretty bad but yeah

   love the story so farrrrr :)
   -Berry

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2. 1. aristotleisnothere (orphan_account) on Chapter 3 Wed 09 Jun 2021 04:28AM UTC

      

      thank you ! it wasn't rude at all:)

      i'm a very literal, blunt kind of person, and i think that reallg shows through in my writing. i will definitely think of that while writing!

      thank you for reading ♡♡♡

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