First of all, thank YOU for taking your time to write such a lengthy reply to my rambling! And while I'm a total romantic indeed (I look at you, Rin *cough*), I have read stories where it was a complete mess relationship wise and because I know that's actually more 'real life' than a rosy happily-ever-after story (because humans are crap at being satisfied with what they have and they're insecure and needy and need to validate their choices etc etc.) these stories actually often stay with me more in their 'realness' than many others do. I am actually mapping out a story of my own at the moment with more drama between three people that should be allowed, but... yeah.
Pretty much the only two fandoms I've ever been sucked into was Free! and, way before that, my venture into fan fiction, was Panic! at the disco, back in the old days and one epic story called 'the Heart Rate of a Mouse' by Anna Green. It's like a three novel length crazy-ride love story that I loved and hated at the same time, because it broke me into a million little pieces and rebuilt me much more slowly than was healthy, but it's to this day the best (romantic?) story I've ever read and it's just-- it's been more than ten years and it is just brilliant. Although you might not be into that fandom at all, if you just wish to read a really good novel about musicians in the 70s, a straight guy falling for a gay roadie along the way, their story spanning several years, I strongly advise you to give it a go. It's fantastic writing and the most elaborate world-building I've encountered in fan fiction. Uhm, I'm rambling again, moving on--
What I wanted to say was: I have read that kind of stories, but it admittedly always left me with a somewhat hollow feeling or pain at how human relationships work, I guess? And I usually skipped through explicit scenes between other characters than the main couple, because, yeah, even if it's not in fact cheating, there's the whole emotional turmoil that I find hard to bear. And then, of course, there's the 'Major Character Death Tag' in your fic that I avoid like the plague because my poor soul has read about enough tragedy in her life LOL Soooooo, all in all, you might be right that this is not the best fic for me at this point, anyway. But I'll wait for you to finish it and then maybe when I feel more confident or grounded or whatever, maybe then I'll be able to give it a go. In any case, I love your writing and it's obvious you really enjoy writing these stories, so I hope you don't feel rushed or anything. I have issues finishing my stories, but hopefully at one point I'll be able to complete one of the half dozen RinHaru fics I've planned and contribute to the fandom! All the best to you~ Anna
Ooo!! I do love unnecessary drama!! Good luck mapping out that story! It sounds absolutely enjoyable to read!! 👀
And I do love PATD!! Widhwjdbiw Though I’ve never been a “part” of that fandom before, this story sounds intriguing and fascinating. I might have to check it out!! From what you’re describing, it’s everything I love and then some!! :D Thanks for the rec!
*hugs you* I get it. I totally get it. I’ve been there before, and even writing these things, it still gives me a bit of grief (but I love angst so much, she always wins). Whether you find some confidence and your footing or not, I know that there is plenty of people that feel the same way as you do! And there is nothing wrong with not wanting to read tragedy or multiship fics. As I said before, you have to do what makes you comfortable, and if you’ve already had your fill, then there’s no shame in that. :)
That also being said, I am notoriously quick to tag MCD. It might not be a main character to the fandom that ends up dying at some point, but a major character to the story I’ve created (where a minor character to the fandom ends up dying at some point rather than a major). And that goes for all my fics with that tag. Not that I’m trying to talk you into reading!!! But that’s just how I am personally. 😅 Look who is rambling now! Lol
I’m wishing you luck with your own fics!!! I know how difficult writing can be sometimes, but it’s worth it all the same!! Sending you all the love and RinHaru writing juju I have!!! 💙❤️
Haha, yeah drama-ftw-Fanclub :D Ohhh, I am delighted to hear you love PATD! I really, really hope you give the story a shot, the characters are VAST, I mean, there's pretty much everyone from that bandom time (Fall out Boy, Academy Is, Cobra Starship, The Cab etc etc), just make sure to start with the right volume (Over the Tracks) and that you don't have anything important to do in the next - oh, week or so LOL (Back when I read it for the first time I stayed up each day reading until like 4 AM and then going back to work at 8 AM for a couple of days until I finished, and wow it was not healthy...) . I might come of as a bit obsessive at this point (lol), but it is actually the only fan fiction I've got a printed version of (the author had it up for print on demand for some time), and every now and then I go back to reading and appreciating it once more.
Thank you for your understanding and encouraging words, knowing me, I'll probably cave at some point and read it anyway, haha.
And well, truth to be told, I've never finished anything in fan writing. I used to write a shitload of stuff like 12 years ago, all in all probably around 500k or so, but once I started writing in English instead of my first language, it became really difficult to not overthink things and doubt my writing ability. While I don't think I make THAT many grammar mistakes, it's just very obvious to me that my writing isn't on par with a native speaker (or someone who just has an amazing grasp on the language itself), especially when it comes to vivid descriptions and, most importantly, dialogue. Oh, do I envy people who're able to write good dialogue. I struggle so much with that. But, baby steps, I suppose. I should stop trying to tackle multi-chaptered epic length fics and start with something small perhaps, haha. Or I'll try Naniwrimo this year as a challenge. All the best to you, I hope writing (and everything else) goes well~ ❤️
But seriously. It sounds so good! Next time I’m in a writing inspiration lull, I’ll check it out!! 👀
If you cave, just know what you’re getting yourself into. XD Not that I mind, I just worry about accidentally triggering you or something! I would hate for that to happen. ❤️
I’m sorry to hear that!! I know what you mean though, more in the sense of feeling like my writing isn’t good enough or I overthink and undermine my abilities. It’s not an easy wall to break and it constantly tries to hold you back. But, I can say, that (by your comments) I couldn’t even tell that you were a non-native English speaking person, so all the power to you!! Confidence is hard to capture, but I believe in you. :) And, honestly, a good beta will be able to help you through the areas you’re concerned about the most. I wouldn’t mind helping too if you’d like! Sometimes starting small is the best way to go just to build you up enough to keep pressing on. :D
Also, dialogue? Yes. Always a problem. You have no idea how many people have said the same thing. XD
Wishing YOU all the best! Good luck with your writing! I’m cheering you on!!! ❤️💙
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