Comment on Isolation

  1. Creaidan the Hedgehog (Guest) on Chapter 12 Mon 08 Aug 2022 05:44PM UTC

    *WARNING: DARK AF!!*

     

    Niles: (wakes up in his bed, then finds himself getting out of bed, and walking towards his hotel room's doorway, but when he steps outside of it, instead of the hotel hallway, he finds himself in... HIS HOME DIMENSION BUT IN AN APOCALYPTIC STATE AND IN FLAMES!!!!) "Wh- Where am I?" (He walks around the wasteland in fear, while looking around much to his horror. He then ends up stumbling across Fishy Boopkins, who has his back to him, and is just standing completely motionless) "B- Boopkins? What's going on here? What happened?" (Boopkins turns around, only to reveal... A ROTTING, BURNT/CHARD ZOMBIFIED VERSION OF HIMSELF!!!!)

    Fishy Boopkins: "Why Niles!? Why have you done this to us!?"

    Niles: (Shrieks in horror, and runs away in fear, but then ends up running into a burnt up zombie-like Tari, with her entrails hanging out*) (*I'd still bang her BTW.)~

    Tari: "We thought you were our friend."

    Niles: (continues running around, but EVERYWHERE he goes, he stumbles various versions of the SMG4 Crew members, ALL in the exact same condition.) :

    Luigi: "How could you do this to us, Niles?"

    SMG4: "We treated you like one of us."

    SMG3: "Gave you ALL that you asked for."

    SMG2: "Made you as equal as us altogether."

    SMG1: "Gave you a second chance into redeeming yourself."

    Saiko: "Loved you like our own."

    Chris: "Included you into our group."

    Swagmaster: "Made you apart of our family."

    Meggy: "And what do you give us in return?"

    Bob: "Took advantage of our kindness."

    Rob: "Treated us like shit."

    Whimpu: "Destroyed our home."

    Belle: "Our universe."

    Jubjub: "The one place that we welcomed you to."

    Garcello: "Brutally murdered ALL of us."

    Mario: "Used me as your avatar."

    Bowser: "Ended the innocent lives of MILLIONS!!"

    Jeeves: "And for what?"

    Toad: "To make yet another universe."

    Fred: "ALL. FOR. YOURSELF!!!!"

    Sputnik: "And for you alone!!"

    Melony: "And worst of all..."

    Axol: (in his possessed demon SMG0 form) "KILLED ME!"

    Niles: (now holding back tears) "No! I've changed! Please! I'm not that guy anymore! STOP!!" (Suddenly starts falling into a void-like pit and is now floating in mid-air, COMPLETELY SURROUNDED by EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY SMG4 CHARACTER EVER CREATED, BUT IN ZOMBIE-LIKE CONDITIONS!!!!)

    All: (in unison) "You left us all to die, after ALL we have done for you. And for the only reason being to make yet another universe all to yourself. As if our universe that we made into your new home out of our gratitude wasn't enough for you. How ungrateful. You just wanted more. And for no one else, but your own selfish purpose."

    Niles: (now crying) "No, that's not true! I created it for both me, AND my boyfriend, Zero!"

    All: (now with SMG0's voice, in unison) "Is that so?" (All of the characters suddenly turn into multiple copies of SMG0 himself. Niles is now COMPLETELY SURROUNDED by SMG0 copies, all with menacing expressions on their faces towards Niles)

    All SMG0 copies: (in unison) "You never actually loved me. You just USED me! Manipulated me into "making a universe for the both of us," and then force fused with me, and for what reason? To create A MONSTER!! Making that monster take the lives of innocent civilians, just to make a universe, for your own little sick game. I thought you loved me? I thought that we would spend the rest of our lives together, get engaged, start a family, have the Internet ship us... But no! That isn't the case, isn't it? This wasn't for us... Just. For. You!" (in Belle's Voice) "All you ever do is look out for yourself!"

    Niles: (in udder shock, bawling his eyes out) "THAT'S NOT TRUE!! I LOVE YOU, ZERO!! YOU MEAN EVERYTHING TO ME, I SWEAR!!"

    SMG0s: (in a booming demonic voice) "LIAR!!!!" (ALL of the SMG0 copies then turn into mirrors, showing multiple reflections of Niles) "The ONLY people that ever "love" you are those gullible SMG4 fans out there. And they only love you because you are voiced by Michael Kovach himself, and nothing more. And yet, you don't even care about their love towards you anyways. I mean look at yourself."

    Niles: (slowly reaches out towards his relections... BUT THEN ALL OF HIS OWN REFLECTIONS START JUMPING OUT OF THE MIRRORS, ATTACKING HIM, AND EVENTUALLY COMPLETELY OVERPOWER HIM IN THE PROCESS!!!!) (Niles gets up and then finds himself in front of 2 headstones: 1 labeled "Fred," and the other "Sputnik.")

    SMG0's voice: "If you truly cared, maybe these 2 would still be alive."

    Niles: (crying while gazing sadly at the 2 headstones... SUDDENLY, 2 HANDS BURST UP FROM THE GROUND AND ZOMBIE VERSIONS OF BOTH FRED AND SPUTNIK START TO SLOWLY APPROACH HIM IN A MENACING WAY. NILES SHRIEKING, AND RECOILS BACK IN HORROR!!!!)

    Zombie Fred, and Zombie Sputnik: (both in SMG0's voice) "Deep down, you know I'm right."

    Niles: (is suddenly pulled back into the air, and is now floating in front of SMG0, who is now suspended in the air, with a creepy stitched smile on his face, and with marionette strings attached to all of his limbs by an unseen force) (voice breaking, in a fearful tone) "B- Babe?..."

    SMG0: (distorted voice) "That's all I am to you, aren't I? A puppet in our relationship. A pawn for your selfish needs to get what you want." (a giant version of Cree slowly appears behind him, with marionette rods in his gloved hands, and is now speaking in SMG0's voice) "Am I right?"

    Niles: (shrieking in anger/utter terror/sadness) "YOU!! YOU GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIEND!!!!"

    Cree: (in SMG0’s voice) “I’ve told you before, Niles: I’m not your boyfriend.” (the puppet strings suddenly stretch out to an extended length, stretching SMG0’s limbs outwards) “I’m just your puppet.” (the set of strings around his right arm suddenly twists around, completely breaking his right arm in the process with a loud and sickening * S N A P ! * ) “A stupid,” (left leg then breaks) “and gullible,” (left arm breaks with a loud crunch, SMG0 is now coughing and even crying blood, with his permanently stitched smile on his face) “weak, and useless,” (right leg gets ripped out of it’s socket with a wet cracking sound. Niles can only do nothing but watch in horror by this point.) “Pawn.” (ribcage caves in breaking loudly) “For your own selfish desires.” (can hear spine being brutally ripped apart) “And now you know how I truly feel about you. You are nothing to me, but my selfish puppeteer,” (strings wrapped tightly around his neck, slowly pulling it upwards, wet ripping sounds can be heard) “And that’s all I’ll ever be to you. Won’t it?” (With that, there was one… last… RRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIP!!!! SMG0’s head is completely ripped out of his body, taking his spine with it, Mortal Kombat style, his blood splatters all over Niles’ face.)

    Niles: (SHRIEKING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS, BAWLING LOUDLY!!!!) “ZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!” (CRYING LOUDLY) “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT WITH ME, YOU SICK MONSTER!?!?”

    Cree: “For you to be in Isolation, to suffer… And at some point… To know…” (pulls out “The Truth” tape) “The Truth!”

    Niles: “What the hell even is that?”

    Cree: (sinister chuckle) “You’ll find out soon.” (in a demonic voice) “SMG4 should just tell you himself.” (horns pierce through head, bloody pentagram arrears in his forehead, teeth turn razor sharp and yellow, fur turns gray, tongue gets long and snake-like, legs turn into Satyr legs, clothes turn into nothing but a waste cloth, and a long red cape, pulls out a gigantic red pitchfork, grows claws, short stubby tail turns into a long and pointy gray devil’s tail, gigantic gray dragon-like wings burst out of his back, and his eyes turn black with glowing red pupils in them, and blood starts dripping from them now)

    Niles: (in terror) “Wh… Wh… Wh- What are you?...”

    ????: “I. Am. Your. Own. Sins.” (???? lunges towards Niles with his mouth open wide, FNaF Jumpscare style!!!!

     

    Niles: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!” (Suddenly wakes up in bed, and is shivering in horror, but then relaxes) “It was all just a terrible nightmare.” (Wipes his face of sweat, but only to his horror... It wasn’t… It was Blood… Just like in the Dream…)

     

    [End]

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    1. Yubel198 on Chapter 12 Tue 09 Aug 2022 01:14AM UTC

      god damn that was dark, and morbid.
      Pretty sure since he's currently in a hotel, and Axol's right across the hall... he heard him scream.

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      1. Creaidan the Hedgehog (Guest) on Chapter 12 Tue 09 Aug 2022 01:24AM UTC

        You're welcome, Yubs.

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        1. Yubel198 on Chapter 12 Tue 09 Aug 2022 01:26AM UTC

          glad you know how to lay on the horror Aidan. adds on to the story where I lack half the time.

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          1. Creaidan the Hedgehog (Guest) on Chapter 12 Tue 09 Aug 2022 01:35AM UTC

            Huh?

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            1. Yubel198 on Chapter 12 Tue 09 Aug 2022 01:43AM UTC

              when it comes to writing horror, I tend to get rather... squeamish, when writing certain things.
              you write them no issue, which impresses me.

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              1. Creaidan the Hedgehog (Guest) on Chapter 12 Tue 09 Aug 2022 01:46AM UTC

                (Interested/excited to know more) Really? How so exactly?

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                1. Yubel198 on Chapter 12 Tue 09 Aug 2022 01:47AM UTC

                  like I said, you know how to write horror, it's impressive as it shows you have at least a bit more experience in the genre. At least, more so than I do.

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                  1. Creaidan the Hedgehog (Guest) on Chapter 12 Tue 09 Aug 2022 02:12AM UTC

                    AWESOME!!!

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                    1. Yubel198 on Chapter 12 Tue 09 Aug 2022 02:14AM UTC

                      oh yes

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                      1. Creaidan the Hedgehog (Guest) on Chapter 12 Tue 09 Aug 2022 08:25AM UTC

                        Are you gonna include the nightmare's aftermath with Axol and Niles in the next chapter, or something, Yubs? (I'm just curious.)

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                        1. Yubel198 on Chapter 12 Wed 10 Aug 2022 12:50AM UTC

                          unfortunately no, as I already have the next chapter written out.
                          it could be a separate story though

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    3. FIREBUGG (Guest) on Chapter 12 Tue 09 Aug 2022 08:40AM UTC

      WHAT IN CRUEL VOID OF HELL-
      I be right awake for the next 2 weeks if I had that kind of nightmare. JESUS CHRIST- I feel so bad for Niles.. he deserves better.. he needs zero right now..LIKE RIGHT NOW 😭😭😭😭😭😭

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      1. Creaidan the Hedgehog (Guest) on Chapter 12 Tue 09 Aug 2022 04:19PM UTC

        ????: (sinister chuckle) "My dear, FIREBUGG. That was just the tip of the iceberg. I was just getting started with what's about to happen next." (holds up "The Truth" tape.)

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        1. FIREBUGG (Guest) on Chapter 12 Tue 09 Aug 2022 08:22PM UTC

          ???? you wouldn't mind if draw you right?

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          1. Yubel198 on Chapter 12 Wed 10 Aug 2022 12:51AM UTC

            if you do, I wanna see it

            Last Edited Wed 10 Aug 2022 12:53AM UTC

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        3. FIREBUGG (Guest) on Chapter 12 Tue 09 Aug 2022 08:23PM UTC

          With the tape?

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          1. Yubel198 on Chapter 12 Wed 10 Aug 2022 12:52AM UTC

            ooh

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        5. Yubel198 on Chapter 12 Wed 10 Aug 2022 12:51AM UTC

          uh oh

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        6. Yubel198 on Chapter 12 Wed 10 Aug 2022 12:53AM UTC

          uh boy...

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      3. Yubel198 on Chapter 12 Wed 10 Aug 2022 12:51AM UTC

        he does, poor guy...
        I might do a one shot of this later on, or the aftermath

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    5. FIREBUGG (Guest) on Chapter 12 Tue 09 Aug 2022 11:45PM UTC

      Like legit, zero got vecna'ed but with a twist-

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      1. Yubel198 on Chapter 12 Wed 10 Aug 2022 12:50AM UTC

        quite literally

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