Comment on Flawed Perfectionism

  1. Account Deleted on Chapter 1 Thu 17 Nov 2022 04:35AM UTC

    well I’m glad the dad got arrested but damn if that moment wasn’t heavy plot convenience. some random police officer that just so happens to hear everything Sunny’s dad says but misses hero hitting him just feels like you couldn’t have written the punishment for the father earlier.

    on a good note, you know I love me some time dilation in omori fanfics. I wonder if 4 years passed since sunny entered whitespace, or if they’re just going to headspace.

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    1. Fritzekel on Chapter 1 Thu 17 Nov 2022 04:42AM UTC

      I'll be honest, I wanted to go more in depth with his punishment but I realized that it might take me extra time to come up with something good, though I might rewrite the chapter once I get to a certain point in how many chapters I have on here. Also I am kind of rusty with the writing so I'm trying to get back into it.

      But much appreciated! Glad you like it so far!

      Last Edited Thu 17 Nov 2022 04:47AM UTC

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    2. Dxjetwin003 on Chapter 1 Thu 17 Nov 2022 05:08AM UTC

      Pretty sure he saw hero hitting Sunny’s dad, he’s just pretending he didn’t see it cause the dad deserved it. But yeah the police showing up like that while good was a bit too convenient.

      Last Edited Thu 17 Nov 2022 05:09AM UTC

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      1. MonoStarstorm on Chapter 1 Thu 17 Nov 2022 06:38AM UTC

        Well there's a simple way to make it at least a bit better, just say a Nurse called the police and they showed up during the arguments

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        1. Account Deleted on Chapter 1 Fri 18 Nov 2022 02:37AM UTC

          juicy retcons

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          1. MonoStarstorm on Chapter 1 Fri 18 Nov 2022 03:24AM UTC

            I mean... no one's gonna notice a little bit of White-Out and new lines. It's fiiiine.

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