Comment on The moods surrounding blue

  1. Sksj (Guest) on Chapter 27 Sat 11 Nov 2023 06:33PM UTC

    Mitski and Eminem is not smth I thought I'll see back to back but here we are.
    GOD FUCKING DAMMIT you must have a fucking diploma at making Mitski references it's incredible and I actually lost it at the I Don't Smoke part bc OMG IT'S SO SAD Leo is the emotional protector of his family in any and all ways possible.
    YESSS MILO AND APRIL GO OFF I feel so mean for saying that but the screaming and scolding sesh was extremely well deserved their feelings are so valid but it doesn't??? Excuse??? Anything they're doing??? I honestly miss how supportive and loving they were at some points of this story. I keep rereading the chapters of Leo purging bc of that. And I love how supportive April and Milo are, Leo so so deserve the love and support from a third party.

    OMGOMGOMG I'M SO EXCITED FOR CJ TO APPEAR I CAN'T WAITTT

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    1. Averie_sol on Chapter 27 Sat 11 Nov 2023 08:43PM UTC

      HJEISHWISYHDH💙

      im mitski coded, therefore leo is mitski coded. live breathe eat sleep mitski🙌

      DONT FEEL MEAN LMAO THEY DESERVE IT their feelings are valid, but it doesnt excuse their actions at all and they dont need to stop being upset they just need to be a little less self absorbed (think about leo for once) and deal with their emotions differently compared to HURTING LEO.

      we all miss how supportive and loving they were its okay :(

      april and milo will... always.... be very loving and supportive of leo!

      IM HONESTLY ACTUALLY EXCITED TO START WRITING CJ CONTENT TOO FHSJDJSJHR

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      1. Sksj (Guest) on Chapter 27 Sat 11 Nov 2023 09:01PM UTC

        LIVE LAUGH LIQUID SMOOTH

        Leo is so so Mitski coded (they all are actually a while ago I made a list of each of them and their Mitski songs) and I'm loving the Leo-Mitski content to pieces.

        PLS it breaks my heart to think about just how deeply ingrained is the belief that Leo is just the one they don't need to worry about. They constantly prioritise literally anything else without realising. Like sure they're scared and ofc that they love him but he's so PAINFULL not the hero of the narrative in thier minds. (Emotional protector Leo propaganda)

        WAIT WHY WOULD YOU SAY LIKE THAT NO DON'T TAKE MILO AND APRIL AWAY IT WOULD ACTUALLY KILL HIM

        SO EXCITED FOR THE CJ CONTENT their relationship actually makes me ill they're so SO "I'm your man" coded it actually made me cry once

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        1. Averie_sol on Chapter 27 Sat 11 Nov 2023 09:10PM UTC

          i just remembered that this chapter had so many mitski references, but was specifically Remember My Name coded

          LIST. NOW.

          righttt emotional protector leo propaganda is like actual psychological torture. its cause when they were younger they leaned on him SO MUCH and he was never all overprotective like raph was (he never changed but anyways) and once they grew up, leo realised that they'll never understand just how hard it is for him.

          so he hides it!

          i love april and milo and leo so much :)

          IM YOUR MAN IS PERFECT

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          1. Sksj (Guest) on Chapter 27 Sat 11 Nov 2023 09:36PM UTC

            WAIT REMEMBER MY NAME WHERE HOW'D I MISS IT??!??? FUCK I LOVE THIS SONG
            I found a pearl, drunk walk home and I don't smoke are there more?!?

            List (it's just one song for each one bc it was all a v long rent to my friend and I tried to keep it bearable):
            R!Leo- me and my husband
            R!Raph- class of 2012
            R!Donnie- my body's made of crushed little stars (the manic energy suits him a lot)
            R!Mikey- goodbye, my danish sweetheart (growing up and having to stop seeing others on a pedestal while also becoming a flawed individual in their minds. So v Mikey)
            R!April- geyser
            R! Splinter- a pearl/bug like an angel (can't and won't decide between them)
            R!Casey- drunk walk home
            R!CJ- fireworks

            12!Leo- first love/late spring
            12!Raph- door
            12!Donnie- I want you
            12!Mikey- last words of a shooting star
            12!April- humpty
            12!Karai- I love me after you
            12!Casey-Townie
            (12 Splinter doesn't get one bc he's a cunt)

            Thing about being an emotional protector is that the whole point is to not have anyone notice that they need it in the first place. Including the family members, bc they're not supposed to know that there was ever smth wrong that needs addressing. Emotional protector keeps the water calm and disputes issues before they explode in anyone's face. So OFC they don't realize how much they lean on Leo, they were just kinda conditioned to never think about it. And bc he's the only one with a role that's hidden they all believe he's the only one to not pick up the slack.
            Almost like
            Almost like he accepted the "it's never about me" lesson AGES before anyone thought to bring it up.

            I'M YOUR MAN IS MY FAV OF THE ALBUM FUCK IT'S SO GOOD

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            1. Averie_sol on Chapter 27 Sat 11 Nov 2023 10:00PM UTC

              theres no specific reference to remember my name lmao, but leos inner monologue is just so based its insane

              YES YES SO YES THAT LIST YES

              leos accepted the "its never about me"/"its not about you" lesson before anyone thought to bring it up, he learnt it when he was really young. he just never thought about it specifically until casey and raph said it (in the movie) and it was so crazy to hear it outloud. genuinely shattered his heart

              IM YOUR MAN IS AWESOME

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              1. Sksj (Guest) on Chapter 27 Sat 11 Nov 2023 10:16PM UTC

                YES SO GLAD YOU APPROVE OF THE LIST

                one thing I've been agonising about is this one post I've seen talking about the pineapple from the lair games and whether or not it was intentional. They said that they think that Leo didn't do it on purpose specifically bc everyone thought that he did. And they rationalized it by saying that there's this running gag in rise where anytime someone guesses smth about Leo they're wrong. So if everyone thinks that he's done something it means that the truth is the opposite.
                So that got me thinking about the movie and about how everyone THINKS that he's egocentric and slacks of. But! According to previous logic it means he's actually the opposite of that! And fuck I think about this a lot
                "It's never about you" was probably there since such a young age but hearing it out loud from Raph, arguably the one that's supposed to understand him best (both of them are protector) was probably just grond shattering. Bc JFC they really don't get it and it's like getting a confirmation that the mean lil voice in your head was right all along. He hates hearing that bc he KNOWS

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                1. Averie_sol on Chapter 27 Sun 12 Nov 2023 12:28AM UTC

                  YES YES YES I THINK ABOUT THAT SO MUCH JEKSKDIWKS THE FACT THAT ITS CANON THAT WHAT THEY THINK OF HIM IS WRONG??? bro dont get me started on how good the character and plot set up was during the series and in the movie for leo, i know it got cancelled was rushed tcest wtv but man it set up leos character so perfectly to be complex and just UFAHIZUE. secretly a little part of him wanted so badly someone to just confirm that everything he thinks of himself wasnt true, but then they confirmed it was true and it just fucking destoryed him (AND ME SOBS) BUT ITS NOT TRUE BECAUSE LOGIC. AHS8WJZ the raph and leo constantly being pinned against eachother is so shattering because theyre the ones who imo understand eachother the most, esp leo understanding raph in most versions but esp rise leo and raph sobs sobs sobs.

                  my leo in here is PLEADING for raph to understand, because thats his big brother. he understands that there are moments where his literal twin wont understand and he has to accept that, but he looks up to raph so much and it just tears him a part it makes me so sad and i write this fucking fic LMAO

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                  1. Sksj (Guest) on Chapter 27 Sun 12 Nov 2023 06:10AM UTC

                    YESSS THE RISE CHARACTERIZATION IS A MASTERPIECE I can't and won't ever shut up on it. Leo is just such an interesting character and the writers did him SO WELL. The a team getting pinned against eachother was straight up evil to do in rise. Like, yeah ofc it was sad and any other iteration but in rise they're so clearly brothers before they are a team so it gets even more personal. LEO JUST WANTS RAPH TO GET IT SO BADLY. The fact they're both responsible of protecting their family (Leo emotionally and Raph physically) but Raph doesn't see how much Leo does for them and he doesn't see how Leo's main objective is just keeping his family happy is just dgndgjstfweyjsfb.
                    RISE LEO IS AS SELFLESS AS THEY COME
                    Him hearing the "it's not about you" from RAPH?!??! he'll never believe a single thing is about him ever again.
                    Raph is the big brother with an even bigger heart, Leo just wants Raph to look at him like he used to. And if loving comes so easily to Raph why is it never directed at him?!??

                    Another thing that just GETS ME about this fic is how Leo's brothers love him. I'm gonna use Milo for some compare and contrast bear with me for a bit.
                    Leo's brothers & Milo both v clearly love him a lot and want him to be better. But while I don't think that Milo likes (?) how Leo is mentally ill, he never make it feels like he doesn't love Leo for these parts as well.
                    Leo's brothers also ofc want him to get better, but it looks like they think that they love him DESPITE the parts of him that are "wrong". They love this ver of him they have in their heads and they think that this ver is hiding behind all the parts of him that they don't like. Which at the end of the day just messes everything up even worse bc those are the parts that needs loving THE MOST and they hammer in this idea that love is conditional. That Leo needs to get better bot for his own sake but for them to love him.
                    Begnyrjjesgsdhgnsad it fucking kills me

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                    1. Averie_sol on Chapter 27 Sun 12 Nov 2023 09:35AM UTC

                      you cant even shut me up about how good the characterization is in rise. idc youd have to kill me. RAPH DOESNT UNDERSTAND THAT LEO PROTECTS THEM EMOTIONALLY AND PROTECTION ISNT JUSY PHYSICAL ITS SO RHAISMAOABZID

                      They forget leos a KID. hes just a baby!! hes just some little kid whose always tried to be more emotionally mature than he actually was, forcing him to grow up quicker even though his brothers still see him as immature and selfish and wtv. and as just being this little kid hes so desperate for approval and praise from any form of older figure; raph. raph KNOWS donnie thrives on praise - he gets it, and all the mature adult talks because hes their "smart brother" who likes all the rules and wants to follow them (leos so fucking intelligent its insane he just has different interests like donnie likes chemistry and engineering etc etc while leo likes biology and physiology etc etc). mikeys the youngest, hes the baby hes the this hes the that. the rules are to protect him specifically and raph will always always ALWAYS hover and protect him. where does that leave leo though? to be the reason the rules exist? to be the stupid one? to be the immature one? to be the least favourite? the random forgotten one with no real talent or diversity? nothing to bring to the table? nothing to protect? nothing to praise? nothing to love? leo just wants to be loved like everyone else, and his eldest brother always seems to be so full of love until it comes to him.
                      "And if loving comes so easily to Raph why is it never directed at him" is almost word for word something im using for leos inner monologue for a future chapter THIS is why i love talking to you.

                      youre absolutely right with that comparison. while milo would do anything for leo to be mentally stable, he doesnt love any part of him any less and fully accepts him, whereas his brothers dont fully take in the concept that its ALL leo, not just the good parts being eaten away by some negative shit. its a part of his struggle, not just some seperate being affecting him. his brothers love him 'despite' (their love for him isnt affected, whats affected is how they show it) the problems, milo just loves him, problems and all.

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                      1. Sksj (Guest) on Chapter 27 Sun 12 Nov 2023 12:35PM UTC

                        Leo is so SO fucking useful to the team it's just in a way that's so different from his brothers and Raph doesn't get it bc it's LEO'S JOB TO MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T THINK THEY NEED IT. So Leo's stuck in a loop of begging for someone to see him and being afraid of being seen. That's why when he seeks validation it's always in such big ways. Being called a champion or a hero feeds his PERSONA not HIM. He was forced to mature and play the pessimistic voice of reason at such a young age. Leo understood that they could all end up dead YEARS before anyone else. But he's the one that's always underestimated and mistrusted. He plays support and comic relief sm that his family forgot he could be anything else. It's so easy to rig on him for being dumb or useless bc he'll never REALLY defend himself. Leo is crazy smart and crazy talented it's just easier to not think about.

                        I don't think any of them is even aware that they're doing this and ofc it doesn't change their love but it's so so harmful in the long run and it's just so unfair bc Leo really really tries. Shunning and ignoring parts of him ain't gonna do nothing but make him feel worse about them

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                        1. Averie_sol on Chapter 27 Mon 13 Nov 2023 04:14AM UTC

                          THEYRE NOT AWARW THEYRW DOING IT WHICH MAKES LEO HURT MORE BECAUSE especially recently hes been trying to tell them, trying to find a way to explain and everytime he thinks hes possibly getting somewhere the others prove to him they dont understand. its just a constant painful loop that leo cant break on his own but hes trying so hard.

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                          1. Sksj (Guest) on Chapter 27 Mon 13 Nov 2023 08:07AM UTC

                            They so genuinely make it impossible to explain it to them it makes me ill

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