Comment on What The World Needs

1. AilingStar on Chapter 2 Wed 16 Oct 2024 10:33PM UTC

   

   Oh I love this so much. There's a lot of really interesting threads and divergences set up here I've got to say.

   One thing that does feel a bit odd though is that there seem to be a lot of characters that are good in canon that are hinted to be evil here, most notably Mazey and Ostentatia, without any obvious counterbalances other than the obvious ones, the Rat Grinders. Of course, I could be wrong about those characters being bad, and given that Aguefort isn't being poisoned one could say that in itself is a sign of a canon evil character being good, but I still thought I'd point it out as a bit odd, in case it was unintended.

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2. 1. praisebakarath on Chapter 2 Thu 17 Oct 2024 12:18AM UTC

      

      Thank you!

      Yeah, I’m trying to follow the vague structure of canon and the first episode only really introduces antagonists. Hell, most of season one is actually antagonists, now that I think about it. You’ve already met a future ally, actually. Thank you for the constructive criticism, I’ll try to balance that more!

      Also, I should have made it more clear in the chapter, the Dwarven middle schooler is Torek, not Ostentatia. So sorry for not clarifying, I’ll make a note to be more clear about that in future chapters!

      Last Edited Thu 17 Oct 2024 12:19AM UTC

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