Comment on Helga G. Pataki: Hillwood's New Superhero

  1. Hg (Guest) on Chapter 3 Sun 29 Dec 2024 06:05AM UTC

    God this story is painful to read, I keep yelling “get to the effing point!”
    Just like helga complains about Lila going in an on and on.,. That’s exactly was helga does!
    Every character quote is separated by multiple paragraphs of unrelated topics. I constantly have to reread because by the time a character responds … I’ve already forgotten what was previously said.
    The pacing is agonizingly slow.

    Just walking down the hallway is a whole book, filled with repetitive inner monologue. We’ve heard it already.

    Like does a character speak, and wait a whole minute for belga to process her inner monologue and the respond? That’s what it feels like.

    The story needs more people talking instead of explanations. Show, don’t tell.
    Show the story - don’t over explain it through helga.
    And helga is getting repetitive, she always says no, I’m not going to do that, that would be silly, then does it anyway. It’s not… as sympathetic the 5th time around. Like why even pretend?

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