ok my brain has been GNAWING on this first chapter all week and i am going to recount exactly where and why. this ended up getting SUPER long, didn't expect it to happen like that, so don't feel obligated to respond to every part of it (or to any part! i'm just commenting to let you know what i liked <3 )
"the man behind the HR violations" <- I LOVE BRINGING UP HR IN THE CONTEXT OF DR. ROBOTNIK!!!! Having done both casual and corporate work... holy cow, dude!!! I find it SO funny to think about.
"But, the way Robotnik was so unapologetic in his unpleasantness…the way he just existed as he did . . . Pure momentum in the gangly shape of a violently autistic man . . ." -- Ok first of all i love that he is /violently autistic/. the phrasing is SO pleasing in my brain. any physical violence he enacts is secondary to the psychic violence of how autistic he is. as someone who comes off as Blatantly Autistic even when I'm putting A Lot of energy into masking, that makes me want to put up a poster of him so i can think "violently autistic" every time i see it for daily inspiration.
"He was everything Stone—angry and neglected and bitter on the inside— wished he could be." -- and, as evidenced by the previous bit, this is where Stone becomes a very relatable perspective. spending so much time masking and not even being good at it sucks, and seeing Robotnik as a /potential/ for what could be? unaffected by others' opinions and not at all restrained? even the concept of being described as "pure momentum"... absolute dream fantasy. it's a big part of why i've gotten obsessed with his character in these movies. and i like how this story goes on for stone's unmasking (or at least, his resistance to just "rolling over") to reveal that anger and bitterness, to eventually acknowledge that neglect.
"When you’ve had to fight like hell to be allowed to sigh audibly, it’s a shock hearing someone who’s had a similar life yell." -- I just really like this sentence!! it's been bouncing around my head. I also like how soon after, he audibly sighs and then gets yelled at for it... beautiful reflection there. he's still having to fight for it, poor thang XD
"Meeting Dr. Robotnik changed Stone’s life for the better. Gave him back the drive he lost, and multiplied it because he’d found purpose. Now, he has had time to learn all the hobbies he’s been curious about over the years." -- this one just makes me feel good in general. i don't need to do All The Hobbies Now Now Now, i have time and i can wait until i have more motivation to do them. it's a nice reminder, puts things in perspective a little. thanks :3
"But he doesn’t…talk about it." -- WHAMMY of a sentence. excellent transition line.
"he’s slept with a heating pad for the last three years and only takes hot baths and showers and he runs warm, he promises, and his skin is moisturized and soft and he smells good, why doesn’t anybody know that, why doesn’t anybody want to find out? Why doesn’t Robotnik?" -- LOVE this paragraph and how desperate it gets at the end. it's such a smooth spiral from "he doesn't talk about his anxiety and crochet projects" to "he is critically alone." (also the mention of the venus flytrap reminded me to water my pitcher plant so thanks for that) (he is just like me fr fr) (😔)
"Stone is a complete contradiction of his namesake, actually, because he’s flexible to the point of fluidity." <- another sentence that i just like
"He’s a man with a very full and vibrant inner life . . . Sometimes, only sometimes, when he’s alone and lonely enough to compartmentalize the embarrassment, he pretends to be one of those YouTubers while he’s embroidering, or drawing Zentangles, or dusting. Or eating dinner. Or…any time wants to talk about his day, really." <- while i was in the process of re-reading this paragraph and organizing my thoughts for commenting, i realized... oh no, oh boy, he's ACTUALLY just like me fr fr. like. woof. yeesh. makes the story more enjoyable to relate so much to his perspective/character, but i also need to get my act together because i do NOT have a mad scientist boss i'm madly in love with that i can have a breakdown in front of. sorry to have this realization in your comment section but i thought you should know you've made a significant impact on this ao3 reader tonight.
"Robotnik has been turned away from him, actually, for so many hours that Stone is lying face-down in his bed and playing the scene on repeat in his mind." -- SUCH A GOOD TRANSITION!!! Excellent imagery, it brings the reader through the passage of time so smoothly.
"…Look." -- this is SO funny omg
"It is here, in his bed, shifting to curl up with his heating pad sandwiched between his stomach and a firm body pillow, that Stone makes a very dangerous decision." -- i like that this is a closer look at what he doesn't talk about and what no one knows, expanding on the earlier paragraph by telling us something new: he doesn't JUST sleep with a heating pad, it's used with a body pillow to simulate human contact. in the original mention of the heating pad, i thought it was for general comfort reasons (staying warm, body aches--what I normally use one for), so including the body pillow has extra oomph and really drives in how alone he feels in every aspect :')
I know i've practically copy/pasted half the story but i really do love how you've written this <3
OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SUCH A HUGE COMMENT WHAT??🫢🫢🫶💕💕💕
this man is violently autistic & no other descriptor fit him, to me🫶🫶🫶a motivational poster of him would be SO FUNNY OH MY GODS<3
writing stone's pov was so so healing for me tbh...like that factor of 'I have so many hobbies but i am hiding them and also everything else about for fear they will Know' is so important to me😭I'm autistic AND adhd and it's always a war between wanting to infodump and worrying so hard that it'll turn people away, so I tried to inject as much of that into Stone as I could >:) I loved the duality in him of 'I'm very isolated because of the job I chose' & 'I'm very isolated because I don't know how to be genuine and real anymore due to my life experiences' and trying to blend that into one big mess of feelings was such a treat!!!!
YES the hobbies omg, when I say that I gave him most if not all of my hobbies...I soo mean that. my adhd ass wants to do EVERY HOBBY, but I'm also burnt out as shit & tired a LOT of the time, so learning to pace and reassure myself has been a mountainous hurdle😭one of the big things that helped me was realizing i had more fun engaging in my hobbies when I wasn't taking a cheese grater to my energy levels to do it3
the reminder for watering plants continues...my little brother & I started a plant collection and one of our plants actually IS a venus flytrap!! The Hivemind was needing watered and thanks you for its quenched thirst
hey I am right there with you.🫶no mad scientist boss in sight!!! but we're gonna be okay though, I believe in both of us<3
the body pillow/heating pad combo...💔I actually rewrote the og paragraph when I realized I could add the body pillow detail for a harder hit! cue an evil grin spreading across my face >:3
thank you so much again for such a thoughtful comment🥹🫶I had loads of fun responding to it<33
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