“Normally his gaze is trained on the opposite wall or the ceiling. If Jean is around, he's looking at him. It's just habit at this point which only twists his stomach a little bit. Tonight he's right there.” god. GOD. the fact that he's being conditioned to turn to jean… i'm so :( they're my little guys!!! i need to protect them at all costs
“He can almost taste the smoke that he craves. Just a little bit longer. He rests his head on the back of the seat and even lets his eyes close. Jean is in the aisle seat so it's fine really, he's blocked.” one, him craving the cig is so real. irl it'd be unlikely for him to actually enjoy the taste after so long without it, or even the sensation of smoking, but get through one and it'd be like riding a bike fr (speaking from experience unfortunately), and yet i want him to get that smoke so bad, like i just want him to have a taste of freedom yk 😭 and B, the fact that he's so instinctively protective of jean makes me wanna weep
“Quickly he changes in the room he and Jean will share and waits for his partner moving much too slow for his liking. They don't have all day. There's thirty minutes before they are due downstairs.
"Come on."
"Why?"
"Roof, let's go." He nods toward the door and there is no further fight.” SCREAM THE WAY HE'S GENUINELY CONDUCTING THE BUDDY SYSTEM 😭 jeandrew the most unexpected 4lifers ever, i'm obsessed with them
“He almost feels like himself. Before leaving the room he tactfully avoids the mirror. Keeps it to his right side just in case he catches a flash. It's easier to see himself if it's Aaron looking back and not a Raven.” you're never seeing the light of heaven
“He doesn't ask what it is, he already knows. Andrew watches the following movements with scrutiny. Jean sitting up as much as he can, Kevin sliding to sit behind him. Hands running over his shoulder and forehead. Head dropping back onto the supportive shoulder. Holding him in comfort. "Don't give me that look. He asked.”” not u making me feel insane about kevjean… fuck u very much, u know they hurt me linds
“"I expect you more focused in the morning. And do let Moreau know I hope his head is feeling better enough to join us.”” tetsuji can suck a fucking dick
“Grayson. Lurking off to the side, Zane. They're both idiots.” indeed they are. i want them DEAD. i'm snarling and gnashing my teeth like a rabid dog
“He can, and does, shove his knee up against Grayson's groin and he doubles over letting go with both hands. Reacher lurches forward, only now trying to do anything. Seemingly more of an observer than a participant. Distantly he thinks that he should make him watch while he kills Grayson, that's what he would want right?” me cheering like yeah!!! hit em again!!! FUCK EM UP!!!
“He can't look at anyone without flashing back to a time when he was thirteen and looking at who would have been his mom with wide eyes and hope that it would be worth it. When he was seven and scared. When he was all the years in between, unable to stop the pattern.” i'm gonna cry. i'm actually going to burst into tears. god. fuck. FUCK.
“The mirror is not his friend, but he forgets until a stranger stares back at him. A number under his eye, a scratch tracing from the tattoo down to his neck. Faint discoloring around where his jaw meets his neck. He hadn't thought Grayson's grip was that hard. Good thing he would rather not see himself anyway. The best part of his reflection used to be seeing Aaron.” that hits so fucking hard every time. god. i'm so so so obsessed with reflections and not recognizing oneself and AHHHH
““I don't want to talk about it." Andrew starts before he can even find the words to ask.
"So you understand now."
He laughs, a laugh like the medication used to produce. "I've always understood. Did you think i keep such strict boundaries for fun? Oh Jean Jean Jean. I've understood for a long time.”” i wish i could insert memes. u know the one of pedro pascal scream/crying and crashing out? yeah insert that right here. that's me rn
“he sees how good andrew is on the team and he sees the flash of the tattoo after game 2... and he proceeds to crash tf out” no bc aaron is so real for that lmao. like, we've talked about this a lot, but aaron’s crash outs in this au is SO fucking valid 😭
“the way they are slowly growing with subtle differences and just morphing into this blob of shared space but still being the most themselves they can be with each other more than anyone else. it's a weird twisted sort of comfort but it's everything to me because jean gives too much always and andrew holds everything back and they're teaching each other how to better take care of themselves. healthy boundaries but also letting people in!!!!!!” SCREAM YES YES YESSSSS LINDS I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU RAHHHHH!!!
“i'm a sucker for andrew pov i love everything in his pov but in writing this i have also come to accept that being in his head is hell with an occasional side of funny and cunt. (read: when this chapter andrew thought "they decided he was perfect and he decided to prove he still has free will")” i love him and i love his pov and i love how you're writing it, you're killing it out here fr!!!
anyway!!! that it is all!!! thoroughly enjoyed this and im obsessed, as usual. thank you thank you THANK YOUUUU ❤️
have many thoughts on Your Thoughts and will be by to respond when i have the energy <3 just know. i am also feeling insane about all of this and coming soon is my kevjean thesis we have much to discuss MUCH TO DISCUSS
appreciate u being just as insane about this w me we are holding hands we will get through this (we made this mess for ourselves)
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bizarrestars on Chapter 3 Sun 01 Jun 2025 10:16PM UTC
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