I'm just... speechless. Feels like you've shattered my heart. AGAIN!!!
Man... that memory sequence still hits just as hard. Seriously, well done with that.
J’s breakdown was making me feel genuinely bad. And yeah, at first I thought she was hallucinating — especially with Tessa casually taking off her helmet on the toxic wasteland that is Copper-9. But then came the beautiful and heartfelt dialogue — the reunion, the apologies, the confession — and all of it just slowly pushed those doubts to the back of my mind. I started to hope.
And then BAAM! You snatched it away. Cruel. So cruel.
"And worst of all, I... I sided with the Solver."
Well, J, you "sided" with the Solver as much as anyone has ever willingly become a slave. She never had a real chance. She died in the pilot and was stuck all alone with the Solver, while N and V got closer to Uzi and started to believe they had a chance to fight back.
J barely knows Uzi, so she had no reason to believe that a single Worker Drone with Solver powers could actually beat Cyn. And unlike N and V, Cyn was still her admin. Even if she wanted to rebel, Cyn could've overridden her or shut her down instantly. The odds were never in favor of our Jaybird.
"She was always so strong. So... indestructible."
That’s the thing about her, N. She seems strong — but she’s not. She seems prideful — but she’s insecure. She seems indestructible — but she’s already broken.
V’s reaction here was much more to my liking.
“Whatever else she was, J was family. Tessa taught us that much.”
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
Honestly, I’m torn between this version and the original.
Analysis:
In the original, J’s breakdown is sudden and violent — she mistakes Uzi for Tessa, is overcome with guilt and hunger, delivers a fractured one-sided apology, and dies mid-delusion. It’s raw, tragic, and chaotic.
In this version, her descent is slower, more emotionally layered. J is consumed by long-held regret, and the Tessa hallucination builds gradually, offering comfort and closure before her final breath. It’s a quieter, bittersweet surrender.
TL;DR: Chapter 1: J loses it abruptly, overwhelmed by trauma and starvation — ends in confusion and tragedy. Chapter 2: J fades gradually, reflective and haunted — ends in peace and forgiveness through hallucination.
So yeah, I think the first is technically the sadder version because of its harshness. And that's exactly why I “like” this one more — it's softer, gentler, more contemplative, and deeply personal.
Every time you upload, I have the same thought: “Man… Stout uploaded today. I'm gonna have to brace and steel myself before reading it.”
And yet, you manage to crack my heart every single time. A testament to your writing, honestly.
Anyway, looking forward to your next work. Well, not excited... let’s say I’m bracing myself for the next one.
If I were to analyze my own work, or, how I get the angst to work, I think it's playing off of forlorn hope. The idea of hoping something would go well, or everything will be okay, but knowing deep down, it won't.
Chapter 1, we hope that Uzi, N, and V will save J, will bring her back to the colony and repair her. But then, J just gets put down like an animal. I think that is why it doesn't work as well there, because it is so sudden. Great for shock value, though, and the comments seem to agree.
Chapter 2 is where it really shines. Tessa repairing J, J finally being allowed to bring down her own walls, confess her love, get all her inner baggage out, and they leave to start a new future. It really seems things are looking up, until it cuts to the trio finding J's dead body. There is shock value, but less so, since we the readers know Tessa is dead, and like you said, the fact that Tessa is fine without a helmet hints at something being wrong. And that's where forlorn hope comes in; we so, so much wish that Tessa is real, she saved J, and they will live their lives together away from this accursed planet, but deep down we know that it just won't happen.
Thanks for reading, and I hope to see you in my next work!
Comment on Moon Gazing
JuliusAstrea on Chapter 2 Thu 24 Jul 2025 02:31PM UTC
Last Edited Thu 24 Jul 2025 03:05PM UTC
Comment Actions
StoutShako42Refined on Chapter 2 Thu 24 Jul 2025 08:55PM UTC
Comment Actions