Chapter Text

"Alright. Leave the dorms and follow everyone else. It's not hard. I can do this," Nikki told herself as the siren started blaring throughout the Chaldea Observatory. She knew what this meant; all Master Candidates of Chaldea were to come to the briefing room in anticipation of - at long last - commencing their mission. She cast a glance at the briefing pamphlet that had been distributed, which summarised the information about the Singularity that had appeared in Fuyuki and the mission that was being prepared to resolve its space-time distortion. But of course, that was all old information that she didn't need refreshed.

She left the room that she had been sharing with one of the other Master Candidates - a friend of hers, Ophelia Phamrsolone - and looked up and down the corridor, which revealed to her a quite significant snag in her plan. Which was that there wasn't a single other person in this corridor of the residential wing.

"So much for my plan . . This is fine. It's just three rights and a straight . . or, was it three straights and a right . . one of those. Damnit," Nikki quietly cursed herself. "I need to get moving, the Director will not be happy if I'm late because I got lost again,"

X

"Excuse me!" a high-pitched voice called among the throng crowding the briefing room in Chaldea, where Director Olga-Marie was waiting for the forty-eight Masters to assemble in anticipation of investigating Singularity F. "I, um, need to get through! Please?"

"Huh? Oi, pipsqueak, this isn't a daycare, get lost," one of the tallest men grunted and shoved his way into the room.

Another took pity on the young girl. "Are you sure you're supposed to be here, kid? This is very important adult magus business," He paused, realising that there was no discernible reason for a child to be there in the first place.. "Wait, why are you here anyway?"

"I'm a Master Candidate, same as the rest of you! Candidate #9, Era Sutsuki! Look!" The scrawny orangette raised her hand and brandishes the etched outline of a trio of Command Spells on her right hand. "I'm just short!" she whined with a pout.

"Wait, Sutsuki? You guys are a big deal in Egypt or something, right?" someone asked.

"Not that that's saying much," another muttered. "Atlas Institute hicks,"

"Uh-huh! That's why my dad sent me here!" Era pointedly ignored the rude man, save for stamping on his foot as she shoved past. "So let me through already!"

X

Tyler blinked awake, staring groggily at the lights overhead. "W-what happened?"

"Oh, good, you're awake. Tyler, right? How do you feel?"

The boy twisted his head and gazed at an orange smudge. ". . Garfield?"

"What? Uh, no. I'm Dr. Romani Archaman, but my friends call me Roman and you're welcome to as well." The smudge shifted in a way that he assumed was a smile. "Now, how are you? You caught a nasty fever and passed out, I don't think the climate here agrees with you. I fed you some antibiotics, so that should have helped. Do you feel any better?"

"Uh, yeah I feel fine. Loads better than earlier, actually. Might have just been motion sickness," Tyler sat up with a force of will, blinking until the world came into focus again.

"Good! Can you walk? The Director's about to start the briefing, and she'll throw a fit if everyone isn't there. You're in the reserves anyway, so just pretend to pay attention and I'll fill you in later. C'mon, up we go!" Before he knew it, Tyler found himself being stood up by the enthusiastic doctor, and all but frogmarched towards the door.

At long last, the cells in his brain started to fire off. "Wait, you mean the big mission? The super-secret thing that I had to sign all those non-disclosure agreements for and still haven't been told a thing about? It's starting now?"

"Yep!" Dr. Roman cheerily confirmed, taking his wrist and pulling him along once he was confident that the boy could stand on his own. "Don't worry, though, you'll be fine. Honestly, no one really expects much from the 47th Master Candidate, which would normally kinda suck but today works in your favour! We just gotta make sure the Director doesn't think you're incompetent. I mean, she probably already does, but that's more of a general attitude than anything to do with you specifically," he shrugged sympathetically. "Still, no reason not to put your best foot forward!"

Following him down the corridor, Tyler wasn't quite done yet. "So, I know I only got here a few hours ago, but when do I get to learn what exactly this mission is and why being a history student was a relevant qualification?"

"Don't worry, the Director will explain everything, as long as you're there quickly enough that you don't miss any of it," the doctor assured him. "So we've got to get going!"

"Uh, right! Yeah! On it! . . Can I get some coffee though?" Tyler questioned.

Dr. Roman hesitated. ". . Yeah, I think we've got time to duck into the cafeteria. No one'll notice, I'm sure."

X

After spending ten minutes picking her way through the corridors and rooms of Chaldea, Nikki had come to a depressing realisation.

She was lost.

Again.

Despite her intended direction and best efforts to follow through, she had somehow ended up on the outer perimeter of the Chaldea Observatory, in a long corridor with massive windows overlooking the Antarctic landscape. Given that she had been attempting to reach the inner core of the facility, this was exactly the opposite of where she was supposed to be.

Also, there was some kind of white squirrel nuzzling her leg. Nikki stared at what was presumably some kind of polar squirrel, and wondered why there was a squirrel in Antarctica. "Now who brought you here, little guy?" she questioned, reaching down to pick him up.

The rodent(?) shied away from her touch and barked, "Fou!"

"Fou? Fou! Oh, phew, there you are!" And now there was a girl with pink hair approaching her. "Oh, uh, hi. Th-thank you for finding Fou! I was looking for him,"

"Oh, hello. Is this your pet?" Nikki blinked at the strange girl.

"Um, well, no but sort of yes. M-my name's Mash, Mash Kyrielight. Are you one of the Master Candidates? Wait, shouldn't you be in the briefing room right now?"

"I got lost . ." Nikki admitted, not meeting her gaze. She straightened and offered her hand for a shake. "Nikki Aiadon, 29th Master. Nice to meet you, Mash. I, uh, have a really bad sense of direction, I can never get where I need to first try. Do you know the way to the briefing room?"

Mash considered this, then nodded. "Follow me! We can take a shortcut through the power room behind CHALDEAS, that way we can sneak in from the back. I'm sure no one will notice,"

"My saviour, thank you!" Clasping her hands together with a grateful smile, Nikki scooped up the squirrel(?) and followed Mash as she took off.

"Fou!" the creature yelped.

"Oh! Sorry. I forgot to introduce Fou. He's . . I honestly don't know where he came from, but he's allowed to do whatever he wants here at Chaldea,"

"Gotcha. Well, cuteness is a resource all its own I suppose," she admitte, casually stroking the squirrel. Fou accepted his tribute of affection with a smug chuff.

X

"Good morning, everyone. Or, that is, everyone who bothered to show up," Director Olga-Marie cast an angry look at the two empty seats at the back of the rows of folding chairs set up to accomodate the briefing, then at the spots where Mash and Dr. Roman should have been standing.

"While you were all given pre-prepared information pamphlets, I'm certain some of you felt they were beneath your notice. Well that's your loss because I'm not repeating any of the basic information! You all should already know all about how CHALDEAS and SHEBA operate, and if you don't I don't care to correct your ignorance. This is the situation. We have detected the existence of a Singularity in the city of Fuyuki, the year 2004." That got people's attention, and Olga-Marie nodded. "Yes, the location and time of the experimental Heaven's Feel ritual. I'm certain that's not a coincidence. Now," She paused. Something was flashing in the audience.

"You!" she shouted, causing Era to start and look up in shock. "What have you got there?"

"Oh, uh, it's a lucky charm my big sister made for me," Era held up an orange jewel set in a golden frame with Egyptian hieroglyphs around it. "She said it's a powerful defensive spell?"

"Whatever it is, it is causing reflections when you fiddle with it. Give it here!" the Director demanded with the air of a teacher confiscating a child's toy.

"Y-yes, ma'am!" Era nodded, offering it to her. "It's okay if you want one. My sister gave me a lot, since they all only work once,"

Olga-Marie nodded, snatching it away and pocketing it. "Right, whatever. Now, as I was saying,"

X

"Is instant coffee really the best we have here?" Tyler grumbled.

"Yes, it is. It's hard to ship stuff to Antarctica, you know," Dr. Roman scolded him, taking a drought of his own cup of coffee. "Now, come on, we should get moving. Head through those doors and it's the third door on the right. Try to be sneaky. I've gotta get up to the command room."

"Got it. Thanks, doc!" Tyler nodded, finishing and discarding his coffee and making for the doors.

X

Mash and Nikki crept in through the rear doors, and were immediately dazzled by a ball of bright blue light. "I do not get sick of looking at this thing," Nikki admitted, taking in the sight of CHALDEAS.

"It is beautiful," Mash agreed, and Fou chirped.

"Okay, I see the Director over there. Hug the wall. We'll sneak around the side," Nikki suggested, Mash nodding and stepping forwards as she turned to close the door behind her.

For the briefest instant as the double doors slid shut, she saw a flash of orange reflected in the glass window set into the power room doors. A wave of light that swelled, engulfing everything and sweeping towards her, already reaching out to engulf her by the time her brain had realised what she was looking at.

Then the explosion's concussive force washed over her and her head struck the door, lights flickering in her vision before everything went black.

X

One moment the Director was saying something about how Team A would be Rayshifting to the Singularity first, and Era as a member of Team B was no longer paying attention.

The next a wave of flame was racing towards her, and she barely had time to inhale before a barrier of golden light that she recognised as her sister's Magecraft appeared over her eyes, covering her body like a second skin.

For a moment, everything was blinding light, and Era reflexively screwed her eyes shut.

Then the light faded, and she opened her eyes to see that, while she was unharmed, not a single person in her vicinity had been so lucky. The smell of burning flesh and cries of pain assaulted her senses, and she flinched, staring uncomprehendingly at the blackened and ruined bodies of her prospective teammates.

All she could do was scream.

X

Tyler carefully slid the door open. "Hey, everyone, sorry for being a little -"

Before he could finish his sentence, a wave of air and fire threw him into the other wall of the corridor.

Staggering to his feet, he briefly saw a screaming golden figure emerge from the doors and rush past him. Peering past the doors that had been blown off their hinges, he took in the burned and smoking field of wreckage and bodies that had replaced the futuristic briefing room, shaking his head in confusion. "What the hell?"

Then he heard the screaming, and realised that whatever had just happened, people inside needed help.

He rushed in and scanned the room. Most of the Master candidates were lying, collapsed, on the floor, in various states of injury and burns - some of which looked fatal - except for one perfectly unharmed child(?) who was making unintelligible noises, petering off in volume as she stared uncomprehendingly at her surroundings..

But a cry of pain drew his attention to the back of the room, where a massive chunk of ceiling had pinned someone. Deciding the unharmed girl was not the priority, he ran past her, dancing around flames and bodies, and found himself facing the top half of a pink-haired research assistant. "Hey. Hey, uh," he trailed off, completely unsure what to do or say in this situation.

"H-hi," the girl whimpered. "I . . I can't feel my legs,"

In the background, a mechanised voice droned. "System switching to final phase of Rayshift. Coordinates, AD 2004, January 30th, Fuyuki, Japan." No one paid it any mind.

"Hold on. I can get you out, I'm sure," Tyler crouched and heaved, trying futilely to lift the chunk of debris.

"No, don't. You should get out, it's not worth it. Go help that other girl," she pleaded.

"Oi! Like hell, this . . oh, crap, this looks bad," Tyler started as a tall young woman with dyed blue hair, in a female version of the uniform he'd been issued scrambled around the debris and joined him. "Who're you? Wait, doesn't matter. Lift with your legs!"

"Warning, all observation staff. CHALDEAS' state has changed,"

Mash gasped, staring up at the ball, and both Masters followed her gaze to see that the sphere had become a ball of fire.

"Wasn't that the thing that simulates Planet Earth?" Tyler gulped.

"The explosion must have messed up CHALDEAS. I can feel the heat from here," Nikki winced. "We gotta move, if that keeps up, we might get cooked alive,"

"You have to go! They're about to shut off this area! You can still make it out, just leave me!" Mash pleaded.

"No!" Nikki yelled, struggling harder to lift the debris.

"W-what's going on?"

All three rounded to see the young-looking girl had joined them, peering at the pinned assistant. "Are you stuck?"

"I'm fine! You should leave, before -"

"Central area, sealed. 180 seconds until internal containment procedure,"

"- they shut off the area," Mash weakly finished, collapsing to the ground.

"Coffin vitals: Masters baseline not reached. Rayshift requirements not met. Searching for qualifying master . . three candidates identified. Candidates 9, 29, 47 reset as Masters. Unsummon Program, start. Spiritron Conversion, start,"

"Guys, I think the machine's talking about us," Tyler observed.

"Doesn't matter! We need to get Mash out of here!" Nikki insisted.

"But, we can't. It's too heavy," Era countered. "There's no point in pursuing a lost cause, that's what dad told me,"

"We don't know that!" Tyler insisted, grabbing a piece of metal and attempting to wedge it under the debris. "We can use this as a lever. Help me lift it!"

"I . . I want to, but my legs won't move. Why am I so tired suddenly . ." Nikki mumbled, falling into a seated position as her legs gave out. "It was nice meeting you, Mash . . I'm sorry this is all we could do,"

"That's alright. You did more than I could have asked for," Mash assured her, reaching out and trying her best to pull Nikki into a one-armed hug.

"You'll be okay. We - we'll come up with something," Tyler assured her.

Era pouted at him. ", miss . . uh,"

"Mash. Mash Kyrielight. It was nice to meet you too,"

"I'm Era," the youngest told them, settling down and offering Mash a conciliatory hug.

"Nikki Aiadon. It's really warm in here. I feel light-headed," A muffled noise of despair escaped her throat as she struggled against her own body.

"I'm Tyler. Don't worry, everything will be better when you two wake up," One way or another, Tyler left unsaid, instead taking Mash's other hand and giving it a comforting squeeze.

"Rayshift starting in 3, 2, 1. All procedures clear. First Order, commencing operation."

Blue light shone onto closed eyelids.

X

Nikki started awake and took in the scenery around her.

The Chaldea observatory had been replaced with a ruined cityscape in which everything was either on fire or no longer intact, mostly both.

". . Did I die and go to hell? Oh, come on!"

Chapter Text

"Romani!" Olga-Marie yelled as she saw the doctor running towards her. They met in front of the door to the control room, and took a moment to look each other up and down.

"What happened? I heard an explosion," Dr. Roman asked.

"There was. Everything's a mess, all the Masters are in critical condition, and I heard another boom in the control room. I came up here to see what the situation was,"

"Did something happen? Are you alright?!" he questioned, worry lines erupting on his face as he looked the Director up and down.

"I'm fine, I'm fine! We don't have time for you to fuss over me!" she snapped in response. Seeing that his look of concern didn't abate, she sighed and added, "Admittedly, I'd be a lot worse off if it wasn't for this," Olga-Marie pulled out a faded gemstone pendant. "I took it off one of the Masters. She was playing with it and distracting people, said it was a protective spell. I think it's the only reason I'm still alive,"

"We'll have to thank her, if she makes it. But later," Dr. Roman punched in the sequence that would open the door.

The command room was a ruin. Most of the workstations had been annihilated, only a few of the systems around the edges had survived. The corpses of many of its inhabitants decorated the walls. "Crap, crap crap crap! It's all ruined!" Olga-Marie wailed, looking around at what was left of her father's life's work.

A pained moan from the edge of the room drew their attention. "Someone's alive!" Dr. Roman rushed to the corner and pushed aside a shattered computer screen, finding that one of the operators had thrown himself in front of another to protect her. By some miracle, both of them were alive, though the poor French boy was unconscious.

Faint moans of incomprehension escaped the throat of the Chinese girl he'd protected. "Maomao! Maomao! Listen to me! What happened?!" Dr. Roman demanded.

"Explosion . . there was an, an explosion . ." she gibbered, glassy eyes staring at some point in the distance.

"I think she's in shock," Olga-Marie observed.

"We need to get them both to the infirmary," Dr. Roman resolved. I'm going to call Da Vinci, get her and her lab assistants to help. She's the only one who can put this in anything close to working order. She's going to be so grumpy about it, too," he added, already pulling out his phone.

Before Olga-Marie could respond, the computer droned, "Rayshift starting in 3, 2, 1. All procedures clear. First Order, commencing operation,"

"What? Rayshift? All the masters are in critical condition! Who could possibly be Rayshifting?" Olga-Marie demanded, even as they both hastened to the most intact of the control panels.

"It says here . . no one stopped the program, and apparently three Masters were in good enough condition that the system automatically locked onto them," Dr. Roman observed, his neutral tone hiding his distress. "They weren't in Coffins. They're Rayshifting with their bodies. That's not good,"

"So three of our Masters got sent into Singularity F? . . Who?"

X

Nikki forced herself to her feet, looking around, and started, seeing three people lying nearby. "Tyler? Era? M-Mash?"

Tyler started and immediately leapt to his feet. "I'm awake, professor! Is it my turn to . . uh . ." He looked around in confusion. "Where am I?"

"If I don't miss my guess, Fuyuki. In the year 2004," Nikki offered, crouching over Mash and breathing a sigh of relief at the fact that she could feel a heartbeat. That was more or less the end of the good news, unfortunately; her legs looked like a crushed mess. "Hey, the Chaldea uniform Mystic Code has a First Aid spell built into it. Use yours on her too, it might help. First Aid," Nikki chanted, green light suffusing the assistant's body.

Tyler followed suit. "Is it voice activated? First Aid?" He gasped as green light shot out of his wrist, and a moment later Mash stirred. "Was that magic? Did I just do actual real magic?!"

"Tyler, focus!" Nikki commanded, helping Mash sit up.

"Owwwww," The poor assistant let out a low hiss, looking up with a force of will. "S . . senpai?"

"Um, sorry, what?" Nikki blinked.

"Oh. N-nothing. I . . where are we?"

"I think we Rayshifted into the Fuyuki Singularity. Beats me how that happened when the equipment was all so badly damaged but we're here, so," Nikki shrugged. "Tyler, go take a look around. See if you can find a wheelchair or something,"

"A wheelchair? Here?"

"This was a city," Nikki pointed out. "Just take a look. Even a skateboard would be better than trying to carry her - and she definitely can't walk,"

"Right, on it. My god, what happened to this place?"

"Fire. Lots and lots of fire," Everyone turned to look at Era, who'd sat up at some point and was staring at the burning city around them with a blank expression.

". . Well, that was obvious," Tyler pointed out, obligingly trotting off.

X

"Director, I've found the files. Let's see who we're working with." It took a minute, but Dr. Roman had three files in his hands and spread them out, each bearing a photo of one of the three Masters currently in Singularity F.

"First up is Candidate #9. Era Sutsuki. The third child of a prominent line of Magi dating back several centuries."

"Oh, I remember this one. She's the one who was only here because her father wanted to deniably kill her off, right?" Olga-Marie pinched her nose in dismay.

"Officially, no. But pretty much, yes. According to the report her father sent us, she has quite impressive potential as a magus, but for some reason that he doesn't go into detail about, he thinks of her as a failure. Apparently her nature is too ill-suited for the Moonlit World. Despite being the most talented of his children, her father seems to have decided her older sister would make a better heir and packed her off here with a note to us about how he'd be grateful if we could arrange an 'accident' for her," Romani's lips twisted in disgust.

Olga-Marie just sighed. "Out of all the candidates to survive the explosion, it's the only one whom we wouldn't get into any trouble for allowing to die," She pulled out. The spent protective charm again and looked at it. "And yet I owe her my life. Funny how things work out, I suppose,"

"I do have other concerns about Era," Dr. Roman added. "She's the youngest of all the forty-eight Masters, and, to be blunt . . she's eleven,"

After a long moment, the Director slammed her forehead onto the nearest hard surface. "Oh, god damn . . tell me some good news about the other two?"

"Sure, Director. Next up we have Candidate #29. Nikki Aiadon. She's competent, intelligent, decently talented with magecraft -"

"I sense a 'but',"

"She's only a second-generation Magus. Her Crest is raw and weak compared to most of her peers," Romani summarised. "It's not ideal, but it's enough for her to support some Servant contracts with Chaldea's system providing the power. And she tested high in leadership and tactical ability. Less so in improvising and abysmal in navigation, but no one's perfect."

"Good enough, I suppose. And the third?" Olga-Marie asked.

Dr. Roman shuffled his notes. "Tyler Coren. He has almost perfect Rayshift compatibility, seems to have a natural affinity for Ghost Liners, and . ."

"You skipped his Candidate number."

After a long, drawn-out "Ummmm," Romani sighed. "#47,"

". . Weren't #47 and #48 the non-Magus Masters we selected just in case there were Servants who flatly refused to contract with a Magus for some personal reason?"

"That's correct, Director."

Dr. Roman made a mental note to redact the subsequent string of expletives from the official record of this conversation.

X

"Will a shopping trolley do?" Tyler called, dragging the trolley down the cracked road towards the three girls.

"Good enough. Help me lift her, we need to get moving," Nikki commanded.

"Where are we going?" Era asked as the two older Masters lifted a limp Mash into the trolley. A strangled squeak abruptly died as she passed out for a second time, overwhelmed by the pain.

"According to the mission plan, our first priority is to find a ley line. Doing so should enable us to tap into the FATE system via our Mystic Codes and summon Servants for ourselves, like the A Team were supposed to in our place," the blue-haired woman summarised.

"How do you know that?" Tyler raised an eyebrow.

"I read the pre-briefing pamphlet. Didn't you?"

"I never got a pamphlet . ."

"Only question is, how can we find a ley line?"

"It's this way," Era told them, gesturing and already starting down the street.

Nikki looked askance at her. "What do you mean?"

"The ley line's in this direction. It's really obvious, can't you see it?"

The two older Masters exchanged a look. Tyler shrugged.

"Well, I guess we don't have any better plans," Nikki sighed and started dragging the trolley after the child.

They walked for the best part of an hour, Mash drifting in and out of consciousness, until Nikki whispered, "Everyone hold up!" The four froze, and doing so let them hear a set of approaching footsteps.

"Into that store. Hurry. Hide!" the blue-haired Master insisted, and Tyler helped her lift the trolley so that it wouldn't make any noise as they rushed through the burnt-out and shattered front of what had once been a convenience store.

Wordlessly, silently, barely daring to breathe, they watched as a trio of shambling figures rounded the corner and came upon the spot where they had been standing moments before. Tyler shakily inhaled. "What in the hell . . those are skeletons . . animated skeletons? Like in D&D?"

Nikki hissed a "Shush!" at him as the roaming skeletons made their way down the road.

They stopped right outside the store. The one who seemed to be in the lead, armed with a rusty hunk of metal that vaguely resembled a sword, stared down at the ground for a moment.

None of the Chaldeans dared to even breathe.

After a moment that felt much too long, the skeletons kept moving, travelling in the direction that the humans had just come from.

Once they were out of sight, Nikki let out a breath. "How about we break here for a few minutes?" Tyler nodded his agreement, Era shrugged, and Mash seemed to have lapsed back into unconsciousness.

There was a moment of silence as they all tried to come to terms with what they had just seen.

"So . . are walking skeletons normal in the world of magic?" Tyler finally asked.

"The term is Moonlit World," Nikki whispered, clinging to the familiar knowledge as a lifeline. "And it's not that unusual. Necromancy is a real thing, animating human remains as familiars. Didn't expect to run into anything of the sort in a place like this, though,"

"Got it . ." he muttered.

Nikki cast a glance at the unfortunate preteen who'd been dragged with them. "It's okay to be scared, you know," she assured Era.

"Is it?" The orangette blinked up at her with large, violet eyes. "Okay. I'll tell you if I am, then,"

Both of her companions blinked at her for a moment, neither quite sure what to make of such a glib response.

". . This is a dumb thing to wonder about, but I have to ask. Is the blue hair natural, or . ." Tyler inquisitively trailed off.

Nikki cast him a look, quietly grateful for the change of subject. "It's dyed. I'm a magus, not an anime character,"

Tyler nodded, accepting the clarification. ". . That implies you have some familiarity with anime," he realised, trying not to smile.

"None of your beeswax," Nikki primly informed him, grabbing the handles of Mash's trolley. "Come on, we should get moving again,"

Tyler took the other end, but wasn't willing to let it go just yet. "Evangelion? Fairy Tail?" He suddenly realised the shade of blue looked familiar. "KonoSuba?"

"Shut it!"

X

"How long will getting communication back online take?" Olga-Marie impatiently asked.

"You can't rush genius, you know," Da Vinci cajoled her. "Actually, Director, why don't you go help Dr. Roman and the reserve staff with the wounded?"

"I need to be here to direct the mission! There's not a single qualified Magus among that lot, they're all rank amateurs! If they get themselves killed then . . then," Olga-Marie faltered.

"I see. You're worried about them,"

"I most certainly am not! Who cares if they die, we'll just recruit more Master candidates or heal the ones we have and send them in. I trust you can fix the Rayshift coffins?"

"Of course I can, I am a genius. And you can tell yourself whatever you want, Director. It doesn't change the fact that you can't really help here. It'll probably be a bit until we can talk to our missing Masters, though, so there's no sense in you standing around here and tapping your foot,"

Olga-Marie folded her arms, most definitely did not pout, and tapped her foot all the harder. "Hmph,"

X

"We're here!" Era beamed as they reached a chunk of road overlooking the river that ran through Fuyuki. She turned, prepared to bask in praise, only to notice she'd lost a couple of followers along the way. "Uh, mister Tyler? Where're Miss Nikki and Mash?"

Several blocks away, Nikki grunted as she heaved the shopping cart with Mash inside it along. "I! Was! Just! Following them! How! Did I! Get! Lost?!"

"Senpai?" Mash slurred, her head lolling upwards. "What's wrong?"

". . I'm lost again," Nikki groaned.

"Oh. Um," Mash furiously thought, trying to block out the pain of her crushed legs. "Sorry, I . . don't think I can help,"

"Hello, little girls!" A figure leapt down from a building in front of them, a man with a skull mask over his face and a grotesquely elongated right arm. "Do my ears deceive me? Are you looking for someone?"

"Hi . . there," Nikki drew up, cautious. "Do you know where our friends are?"

"Mm, no, I don't. But thank you kindly for telling me that there are more humans still in the city. I'm so happy to know that there are still people left to kill!" the enemy shrieked with glee and charged in, bringing his massive right arm up for a crushing blow.

Nikki back-pedalled, dragging the cart with her in a frantic but futile attempt at self-defence. She wasn't the man's target though, as Mash raised her arms and tucked her head in, hoping desperately to protect herself from a deadly blow.

Everyone was surprised when the strike bounced off with a sound of ringing metal.

Nikki and Mash stared, stunned, at a giant, cross-shaped shield that had appeared in Mash's hands, hanging over the front of the trolley.

"What?" the man growled, then danced to the side and looked at Mash again. "A Servant? No . . some kind of imitation? Hm. No matter, you obviously can't put up much of a fight. Struggle all you want, cripple, it just makes this more fun! After all, you'll never best a real Servant!"

"Emergency Evasion!" Nikki cast, the hem of her sleeve lighting up purple.

"Senpai, no! I can't move with my legs like this!" Mash protested, moving the shield as best she could to further defend against the Servant's attacks.

"That's why I'm not using it on you!" Nikki barked, and slapped her hand on the trolley.

Assassin's eyes went wide as the shopping cart took off like a rocket, Nikki clinging on as her feet left the ground. Shifting her body weight, the magic-propelled cart span around a corner, barely avoiding tipping over, and slid down a wide road.

Digging her heels in, the Master dragged them both behind a ruined car just as Assassin rounded the corner in pursuit of them. "Where are yooooou?"

"Senpai -" Mash hissed, only for Nikki to cover her mouth with a 'ssh!' as Assassin stalked closer.

"Senpai, Servants can -" Nikki shushed her again as the foe stalked down the road, approaching their position.

"Servants can sense other Servants' magical signatures! Hiding is useless, he can track me!"

"What?!" Nikki yelped and span to face the street once again - finding herself staring into the empty eye sockets of Assassin's bone mask, only an inch away from her face.

A scream split the cloudy sky.

The Servant only laughed as Nikki scrambled away, dragging Mash's cart with her as the Demi-Servant dragged the shield into place between them. "Ahh, this is so much fun! But I can't take too long, or someone else might interfere. This is a kindness, really. Think of it like I'm sparing you the suffering -"

The murderous monologue was cut short as a giant flaming foot crushed him where he stood.

After a second of shocked silence, Nikki and Mash screamed, taking in the flaming colossus that had replaced the Assassin as the most immediate threat to their lives.

"Oi, settle down, you two! You'll get Rider or Lancer's attention. Or worse, Berserker's," A man in a hooded robe appeared as the giant faded, looking them up and down as he sheathed a staff that looked like a gnarled hockey stick over his back. "Damn, thought there weren't any humans left alive around here. And . ." He scrutinised Mash with confusion. "Human, but with a Servant's equipment? And able to use it, too? That's a new one on me. Where'd you come from?"

Mash lunged forwards as best she could and whacked the intruder with her shield.

"Wha - Oi! Oi! Stop that! I'm on your side! Hey! Stop!" Amidst rapid bonking, the man finally grabbed the shield and pushed it aside. "Normally I'd take offence, but under the circumstances that instinct will probably keep you alive," He raised his hands placatingly. "For the time being, let's just establish that I could kill you if I wanted to so the fact you're still alive proves you're in no danger from me, okay?"

"What horrible logic!" Nikki yelled.

"Ugh, sheesh. We don't really have time for explanations, but fine. I'm Cu Chulainn, Caster class Servant, and only survivor of the Holy Grail War here. Well, besides Saber, but really she's as good as dead. You're a Master, right? That means you know what happens to Servants who go too long without a Master supplying them with mana, yeah? I've been running out my internal clock since my old Master died, but now that you're here I can contract with you and sustain myself that way. So even if I wanted to, I can't kill you without dooming myself. Get it?"

Nikki took a breath. "That . . okay. I can believe that. But Mash, if he tries anything funny, start hitting him again."

"Yes, Senpai!"

The Master nodded. "I have a lot of questions. But first we need to meet up with our friends. We got separated,"

"B-by the Rayshift!" Mash added.

"Uh, yeah. That's what happened. Not my fault at all," Nikki quietly cast her apparent-kouhai a grateful look for helping preserve her pride.

"We're supposed to meet at a ley line site though. Do you know where the closest one is?"

"Sure. I can guide you there, follow me. And if it's all the same to you, I'll save explanations until everyone's here to hear them, kay?"

"Suppose that's fair," Nikki nodded.

X

"Nikki! Mash! You're okay!" Tyler grinned, waving as they approach. "Wait, who's that guy?"

"Cu Chulainn, or so he says. Remember how there was a Grail War on in this time and place? He's the last man standing. Apparently," Nikki shouted back as they crossed the distance.

"Wow, that shield is cool!" Era grinned at Mash, who weakly smiled back.

Serendipitously, at that moment holograms flickered for life on each of the three Masters' wrists. "Testing, testing. Hello, everybody!" Da Vinci waved through the projection.

Everyone stared at one of the three holo-Vincis. "Who are you?" Tyler asked.

"Ah, right, you haven't met me. In summary, I'm Chaldea's chief of tech support. The wonderful and marvellous Leonardo Da Vinci-chan, at your service!" she declared, stroking a pose with a cheery smile and wink.

Nikki was unimpressed.

Tyler was unimpressed.

Mash was unimpressed, though that may have been the pain talking.

Era beamed and struck a matching pose. "Nice to meet you, Vinci-chan!"

"Hold on. Leonardo Da Vinci was a man . . right?"

"Originally, yes, but why should the perfect mind settle for anything less than the perfect body?"

No one had a good answer to that, but while the others were dumbfounded, Tyler commented, "I can't argue with that . . I wouldn't know how to,"

Da Vinci forged on regardless. "The first thing you need to do is - something you've already done, I see. You all found a ley line and even established contact with a local! Good work, everyone! The Director's going to be so impressed!"

"Da Vinci, we have no idea what's going on or what happened," Nikki admitted. "This is the Singularity in 2004, right? What happened at Chaldea?"

"All I remember was a lot of fire and then everyone failing to save Mash," Era unhelpfully added.

"It's on? Good!" Da Vinci was shoved out of the way, replaced by Olga-Marie's nose and nostril hair. "How does this work? Can you see me?"

"We can see your snot!" Era giggled.

"Eh?!"

"Director, you're too close to the camera," Nikki clarified.

"Right. Is this better?" Olga-Marie leant back, bringing her whole face into view.

"I'm afraid we don't have time for troubleshooting. I'm detecting approaching magical signatures. Quite a lot of them!"

"What? How many?" Nikki pressed.

"Crap, that'll be Lancer and her undead horde, I'm sure of it," Cu Chulainn cursed. "Did you see any skeletons on your way here?"

"We hid from a few, yeah," Tyler confirmed.

"I think we could have taken them," Era grumbled.

"Damnit! They're all linked to her, like thralls. You didn't escape them, they just went to get their mistress after they saw you!" Cu groaned. "We need to move. I'm not gonna be able to hold her off on my own, not here,"

"You're not on your own, Mister Cu. We're all here!" Era cajoled him.

"Kid, you're human, all of you are. You can't stand up to a Servant, even a weak copy of one like what we're dealing with here," the Caster explained.

"Says you,"

"And I know what I'm talking about!"

Whole Era and Cu were arguing, Nikki addressed the communicator. "We're at the ley line, we might be able to conduct a summoning of more Servants like we were originally going to. But the pamphlet said something about a catalyst. Do we need that?"

"Technically not. Catalysts are useful because they let you narrow the range and get a predictable outcome. You can try to conduct a summons without them, but the Servant you get will depend on who out there wants to answer your call. Could be someone really useless," Da Vinci shrugged.

"I'll take those odds," Tyler chimed in. "What else do we need?"

"Well, unfortunately, you were all sent to the Singularity without the equipment to establish a Summoning circle the way we'd intended to," Da Vinci shrugged apologetically. "But it does seem like Mashu-chan there can provide a better option! So it'll be fine! That said, I need all of you to follow my instructions exactly!"

"Got it, what do we need to do?" Nikki asked.

"Draw three of these!" The holoprojector suddenly showed an incredibly complicated magical circle. "In blood, ideally. Though that might be a problem . ."

"Don't worry. I can do runecraft. I'll handle it. With a few modifications, I should be able to make do with plain old prana from the ley line," Cu declared, already crouching and beginning to etch lines into the ground underfoot with his staff.

"Perfect! What a stroke of luck, that you ran into a Caster! Do them in a triangle, please, we'll need to place that shield Mash has got so it's touching all three of them. You're all going to need to use the same catalyst, since we only have the one."

"Hold on, why the shield? Is it supposed to be our catalyst somehow?" Tyler frowned.

"It's a Noble Phantasm, it serves as a direct connection to the Throne of Heroes. It's not ideal, but it's better than nothing," Da Vinci explained.

"It's a what? How does Mash have a Noble Phantasm?" Nikki demanded.

"In summary, she's the result of a failed experiment to fuse a Heroic Spirit with a human embryo. We called it the Demi-Servant project," Da Vinci answered in the seconds it took Mash to swallow her fluster enough to speak. "She's never actually been able to tap her Servant abilities before now, though, so we all wrote it off as a failure. It looks like it worked better than anyone realised!"

"Can we have plot exposition later? This isn't a video game where the enemies will wait around for us to finish talking before attacking, I can see them and they're getting closer!" Tyler yelled, waving at a mob that was distantly but clearly visible down the riverside road.

"Summoning circle's ready," Cu reported, standing up and stepping back.

"Catalyst is ready!" Mash, for want of locomotion, tossed her shield into the middle of the circle.

"Good. Everyone, stand over one of the circles," Da Vinci instructed. "Director, get ready to patch through Chaldea's reserve power cells!"

"How do I do that?"

"Press the big red button when they say the word 'destiny'!"

"I marked out the places for you to stand," Cy offered gesturing to a trio of X-es, forming a triangle around the three circles.

"Convenient. We're ready!"

"Right! Now, read out the words I'm putting on your screen!" Da Vinci's floating images vanished, replaced by lines of holographic text that floated in the air before them.

"Place one arm over your chest and hold the other out - oh, right!" Tyler hastily mimicked the stance that Nikki and Era had adopted, pressing his left arm to his pectorals and holding out his right. His gaze fell on the red tattoos that were inked onto the backs of Nikki and Era's hands, and his own, which was plain by comparison. "Wait, am I supposed to have a tattoo?"

X

"Tyler got in late, we didn't have time to give him a Command Seal template," Dr. Roman frowned.

"That's fine, it's just a template. If this works, he'll get Command Spells regardless," Da Vinci assured him.

"And if it doesn't work?" Olga-Marie pressed.

Da Vinci's smile suddenly looked strained. ". . I'm sure it'll work! Have faith in the genius of your Uomo Universale, Da Vinci-chan!"

X

The three Masters spoke in unison; "Let silver and steel be the essence. Let stone and the archduke of contracts be the foundation. Let rise a wall against the wind that shall fall. Let the four cardinal gates close. Let the three-forked road from the crown reaching unto the Kingdom rotate. Let it be filled. Again. Again. Again. Again,"

"Huh?" Era tilted her head in confusion.

"Era, focus!" Olga-Marie snapped.

"Let it be filled fivefold for every turn, simply breaking asunder with every filling. My will creates your body, and your sword creates my destiny. If you submit to this will and reason, then answer! Seventh heaven clad in the great words of power! Come forth from the circle of binding, guardian of the scales!"

The circle in front of Era immediately lit up with bright light, followed quickly by the one before Nikki. A few seconds later, Tyler's own circle shone with blinding white energy.

Surprisingly, Nikki's circle was the first to blink out, revealing a young knight in armour, with bright pink hair. "Servant, Rider. Hiya, Master!" The Servant sprung to his feet, before immediately saluting with a playful smile. "The name's Astolfo! Nice to meetcha!"

Nikki blinked. "Um. Hello. You . . are my Servant?"

"That's right!"

"Right. Good," She tried not to be judgemental. It was just thaf Astolfo wasn't exactly the powerful and menacing knight she'd been hoping for. "I assume you've accepted the contract?"

"Yup! Long as I'm here, I'll be your Servant. I'm counting on you to take care of me!" Astolfo winked and grinned, exposing a prominent snaggletooth.

Their eyes were promptly drawn by the circle to Nikki's left fading, as a lithe woman in a form-fitting red and yellow outfit manifested, red hair like flames hanging to her hips in twin ponytails, held in place by a crimson headdress. "Servant, Archer. My name is Sita," She blinked. "Ah. Hello, child . . are you my Master?"

"Yep! Hi!" Era smiled up at her.

Sita frowned and had to restrain herself from taking a step back in surprise. thrown off by the youth of her Master, but nodded, taking in the setting and people around her. "This is . . an unorthodox situation. I'm not getting any information about the sort of Grail War I've been summoned to like I normally would, either."

"Yep, same here. Does it really matter though? They're our Masters, so we're gonna protect them. All the rest is just window dressing," Astolfo pointed out, sidling over to the Archer.

Sita allowed herself a small smile. "True enough, very well then."

Nikki interjected. "Sorry to rush you two, but we've got at least one enemy Servant and an army of what I assume are minions bearing down on us. I do like four to one odds, but depending on how strong the minions are it could be more like four to one hundred. And we still need to summon our third Servant, too," Everyone looked at Tyler, who was noticeably struggling to stay on his feet as the summoning proceeded.

He hadn't even been paying attention as the other two Servants manifested. Instead his focus was entirely on his own circle - on the real, actual magic that he was doing.

And how it felt like it was ripping his nervous system out one piece at a time.

Flashes of white-hot pain bounced up and down his body, uncontrolled bursts of energy awakening something inside him he'd never been aware of before. With a flare of red light, three symbols burnt themselves into his hand; the skull and jaw of a dragon, framed by a semicircular shape that seemed to evoke its wings. His eyes drifted to them, but he refocused on the summoning circle, pouring his willpower into it and begging, pleading for it to work.

"Da Vinci? Is there a problem?" Nikki asked.

"Maybe? Whatever Spirit Origin he's locked onto, it's powerful. Absurdly powerful. He might not have the strength to manifest it!"

"What do you mean, he doesn't have the strength to - he's draining our energy reserves! Goddamn! Call it off! Two Servants is enough! This isn't worth the risk!" Olga-Marie's shrill voice echoed through the comms.

"Can we help?" Era asked, already hastening to his side.

"I don't think so. It's all up to him and the generators now. Spirit Origin is 65% manifested. 73% . . 80?" Da Vinci narrated as Tyler winced, energy spilling out of the circle only to be sucked right back in.

Suddenly everything went white. A pillar of light shot out of the circle and into the heavens, and they had barely enough time to hear Director Olga-Marie scream "Oh no-" before the feed was replaced with static. Tyler screamed in shock and pain as the circle went dark and the white pillar winked out, leaving an indistinct humanoid figure floating before them.

Before their eyes, the partially manifested Servant fully resolved into a slim, short human figure, clad in a white dress with black highlights, short blonde hair spilling out from her head. She fell to the ground and immediately stumbled, dropping to hands and knees just as Tyler looked up.

"Servant, Saber," the girl introduced herself. "I ask of you, are you my Master?"

"Uh. Yeah. I think I am," Tyler nodded, staring for a moment. "What's your True Name?"

"Are you certain I should reveal that in front of these others?" the young girl questioned, casting a glance at the other Masters and their Servants.

"Yeah, that's fine. They're our allies,"

"Very well. My name is Artoria Pendragon."

Tyler's jaw hit the floor.

Nikki's eyes shot wide open.

Era spluttered in disbelief.

Da Vinci, who had restored a one-way audio feed just in time to hear that, chuckled.

Director Olga-Marie Animusphere all but screamed; "WHAT THE F $%!"

After a moment of no response, Artoria added, "Oh, but, since I am still in training, please call me Saber Lily. I look forward to working with you in the years to come,"

Chapter Text

"Artoria Pendragon. Artoria Pendragon! How in the five Magics did that no-name, worthless, talentless kid summon the Saber of the Heaven's Feel Ritual?!" Olga-Marie screamed.

"I don't know, but he did," Da Vinci mildly commented. "You know they can't hear you,"

"Oh. I suppose that's good. How long until communication's back online?"

"Give me half a minute," the Caster assured her.

X

"Hold on. Did Arthur Pendragon have a little sister the world never knew about or what?" Tyler spluttered.

"The world of magi has known for years that the King of Knights was actually a girl. Since the event we're trying to fix, actually," Nikki corrected him. "But, I've seen pictures. Artoria Pendragon was taller."

"Unfortunately, I didn't have quite enough energy to manifest as my adult self. The best I could manage was, um, this version of me," Lily explained, nervously tapping her fingers together. Her lips were pursed and her ashamed eyes refused to meet the gazes of the Chaldeans. "I'm sorry . ." she pouted.

All at once, everyone present was overcome with the unshakable certainty that Lily was so adorable.

"Hey, hey, you're fine. We're not in a position to pass up help," Nikki assured her.

"Yes, I see a mob of undead approaching us. And I believe that there is a Servant-grade entity, too. If I had to guess, a Lancer," Sita assessed, looking at the offensive rabble that was approaching them. "But it's hard to tell,"

"That ain't no ordinary Servant, no," Cu Chulainn agreed. "Lancer was the strongest Servant here. Saber and Archer had to work together to take her down, and she resisted the corruption better than the other five did. She destroyed herself rather than let herself be consumed,"

"Hang on, the what?" Tyler frowned.

"That sounds like useful information that we should have," Nikki agreed, folding her arms.

"I'll explain fully after the fight. The point is! This entity is a vestige, with only a fragment of the real power that Lancer had at her disposal. Think of her as a corpse animated by the corruption, more so than a Servant,"

"So beating her should be easy-peasy, then, yeah?" Astolfo grinned.

"Don't be so easy-going. Even in this state, Lancer's damn powerful. It's her power thar's animating the skeletons all over this city, or did you not notice she's gathered them all up like a mob? I don't know for certain, but I reckon she's a Divine Spirit, not a plain old Heroic Spirit," Cu winced.

"What's the difference?" Tyler quickly asked, watching the approaching mob of skeletons that surrounded an indistinct shadowy figure.

"Higher base power, stronger existence - they're basically objectively better," Nikki summarised. "Doesn't really change anything, though, we'll have to hope that her being degraded gives us enough of an advantage," Nikki assessed. "Still! We have no idea what you four can do, so let's have a demonstration!"

"Got it!" Astolfo cheered, and Sita nodded.

"I'll do my best!" Lily agreed.

"Let me know if I can help at all," Tyler offered to her.

"Ahem. There's still the matter of my contract," Cu reminded her. "I had to use my Noble Phantasm to beat Assassin, remember? That ate up more of my magic than I really should have used, and so did the summoning circles. I'm practically running on empty."

"Right. Uh," Nikki considered her options. "Era! You have the best magic circuits of the three of us. Think you can support Cu as well as Sita?"

"I'll try!" the orange-haired child nodded, determination in her eyes.

"Alright, show me your Command Seals," Era obediently raised her hand, showing a red tattoo in the shape of a stylised fox with two tails curled underneath it. "Your will creates my body, and my sword creates your destiny. I answer your call," With that, Cu planted a kiss on the seals, and they flashed with light.

Era blushed a bit.

"Yeah I don't know everything about your legend, but I'm not comfortable with what I'm seeing here, Hound of Ulster," Nikki frowned. "Hope that wasn't a mistake,"

"Don't worry, I'm not interested in kids. Now, let's get going, shall we?" Cu asked.

He then realised, somewhat belatedly, that the other three had gone on without him.

Lily and Astolfo crashed into the first wave of skeletons in sync, swords out and carving chunks from the bones of the undead. Arrows riddled the fringes of the army, the sheer concussive force generated by Sita's bow blasting the skeletons to pieces.

With a thrust, a golden-white laser shot through the ranks. Lily growled, swinging the blade, but finding that the diffused sword beam wasn't enough to destroy their opposition. She glowered at the undead converging on her and started relentlessly hacking at them.

Astolfo laughed with pure glee, spinning and slicing through the spines of several skeletons. His motion was arrested when one of them sunk their jaws into his blade, catching it with its teeth.

He only had enough time to glare at it before an arrow smashed through its neck, freeing his blade plus one skull. "Gross!" he hollered and flicked it away.

"You're welcome!" Sita called, nocking more arrows. Her shots flew through the air, golden flashes of light punching holes in skulls, severing spines. "Heh. We Servants don't really get to engage in unbalanced fights like this often. It's quite refreshing,"

Nikki watched with a smile, and Tyler's eyes grew progressively wider. "I'm really starting to see why everyone made such a big deal about these Servants," he muttered with an appreciative nod.

"Yeah! Smash! Destroy them!" Era cheered, gleefully bouncing in place.

The ground underfoot shook, and forms of black energy erupted from the cracked and scorched asphalt. Astolfo yelped and leapt over them, and Lily staggered, losing her balance.

All at once, a shadowy figure loomed over her, a feminine form wielding a dual-ended spear. Taking advantage of Lily's momentary inability to defend herself, Lancer prepared to deliver a killing blow.

An arrow flew through the air, and the shadow snatched it a second before it hit her face, one hand leaving her weapon. Yelling, Lily scrambled out of range, and a dull, insensate growl escaped Lancer's throat as she cast a death-glare at Sita, who shrugged, entirely unapologetic. "It was worth a try,"

"I'll . . enjoy . . punishing," Lancer growled, driving her spear into the ground. A wave of shadowy energy erupted from the earth, a giant mass that body-checked Sita and sent her flying into a chunk of wall.

Cu threw a wave of fire at her, but their foe slid to the side with seemingly no motion at all, and kicked off, ignoring the other three and making straight for Sita.

"Don't take me so lightly, Lancer. After all, you aren't the only one here who's a goddess!" Sita declared, firing a barrage of arrows that the Lancer danced around, dealing no damage but delaying her enough that Sita was able to avoid the attack.

The other Servants made to help her, but were waylaid by the undead. Lily found a rusted sword catching her own, Astolfo was struck from behind by a crude staff, and Cu found himself struggling to fend off a sudden swarm from all directions at once. "Could use a little help here," he grunted, staff flicking with defensive motions.

Unfortunately, his Master only had eyes for her other Servant. Era watched with bated breath as Sita ducked, weaved and evaded every blow from the shadowy lance, dropping globs of fire from her bow and occasionally collapsing flaming debris. The fire seemed to wash over her skin harmlessly while Lancer had to move with greater and greater care to avoid getting burnt.

"She's restricting her mobility," Tyler whispered in dawning realisation.

"Huh?" Era frowned in curiosity.

"He's right," Mash nodded. "Lancers are kinda the most balanced class, they emphasise agility, closing with their opponent and delivering rapid strikes from inside their guard. But Sita's turning the area into a fiery minefield. Lancer can't move at her top speed, so Sita can stay out of range and -" She cut herself off, shifting and gritting her teeth in pain.

"Very astute, but did you have to tell her that was my plan?" Sita snapped, avoiding another lunge and firing an arrow at just the right angle to trip the Lancer and send her sprawling into a puddle of fire.

"Need another round of First Aid?" Nikki offered, fretting over Mash.

"Don't waste your magic on me. It's more than enough that you haven't just left me behind," Mash assured her. "I can handle the pain until we figure out how to get back to Chaldea,"

"Okay," The eldest Master wasn't convinced but knew their Servants might need the support more.

Lily came to Sita's rescue, picking her way through the fiery battlefield and intercepting another killing blow. She and Lancer clashed, streaks of black and gold dancing back and forth as her sword deflected every blow. With a wordless howl of fury, Lancer summoned a great black mass that almost looked like a bird's head beneath her feet and used it to kick off, the phantasmal form breaking apart into more conjured skeletons that quickly piled on to her.

Lancer refocused on Sita, only to hear Nikki bark, "Instant Enhancement!" A flare of red energy shot from her sleeve and wrapped around the Archer, whose eyes came alight with divine energy. In a series of staccato flashes, golden arrows were fired as soon as they appeared on her bow, a relentless barrage that sent her stumbling back.

"Hey," A somewhat hesitant smile tugged at Tyler's lips. "We're kicking her ass, aren't we?"

"They are. We're barely doing anything," Era grumbled.

"I hope this isn't a rude thing to say to a necromancer!" Lancer yelped as a flying blade carved a gash into her stomach, and leapt back as Saber Lily interspersed herself between her Master and the enemy. "But, go to hell!"

"You . . escaped . . how?" she frowned, flexing her wrist and directing a skeleton to intercept Lily and force her back in a reckless charge, heedless of the damage it took.

"Yeah, I dunno what sorta bargain bin necromancy that corruption or whatever gave you, but you should ask for your money back. These things ain't worth the dust they're made of," Astolfo yelled as he and Cu slaughtered the remains of Ereshkigal's forces, including the skeletons that they'd peeled off of Lily.

"No . . but . . you . ." An arrow to the knee caused Lancer to overbalance.

In a feat of nigh-supernatural coordination, Lily dispatched the last of the skeletons that had been occupying her and brought her sword across, levelling it at Lancer. "Master, could you spare a Command Spell to finish this with my Noble Phantasm?!"

"Yeah? Right. I know how to do that," he convinced himself, flashing back to some of the materials he'd been given to read on the plane. "By the power of my Command Seal, blast her back to whatever ass end of history she crawled out of," Tyler instructed, pressing a finger to his tattoos.

Nikki hesitated, almost reaching out to the vestige, but it was too late.

Lily had already brought up her sword. "Golden Sword of Promised Victory: Caliburn!" A single shot of golden laser flashed out of her blade and struck Ereshkigal head-on. Almost in slow motion, four smaller lasers rained down from the heavens and struck the ground around her.

A scream faded into the wind, and when the light cleared there was only a crater with dully glowing particles floating out of it.

There was a moment of silence as the component atoms faded.

"That was . . sorta sad," Era observed, biting her lip.

"If it makes you feel any better, that wasn't a real person. That was just the copy made of the corrupted magic Saber's been polluted with. She was already dead. Functionally a walking corpse," Cu shrugged.

The gathered Masters and Servants stared at him in confusion. "I think it's time that you tell us what exactly you're talking about when you say such things," Nikki pressed.

"Oh, yeah, right, I didn't get around to that, did I? Well, we should get moving. I know I owe you all an explanation of what's been going on in this Singularity, and it's about time I deliver. But we can walk and talk," the Caster declared, already starting to make for the west side of the city.

The rest of the party hastened to catch up, Tyler dragging Mash's shopping cart with him until Lily stepped up and casually lifted it, saving her the discomfort of being bounced across an uneven floor.

"To be honest, I have no idea what actually happened. The Grail War was going fine - well, you know, as much as a seven way duel to the death for a wish can 'go fine' - and then everything went weird. The city was turned into a massive burning wasteland, all the people disappeared - except I guess they actually just all died, because Lancer got all those skeletons from somewhere - and it was just us Servants left. No Masters, no orders, for about a day we all just hung around,"

"Something changed, though?" Tyler pressed.

"I guess Saber decided that she didn't want to give up on her wish just yet. That or the Grail did something to her. I didn't get a good look but I'm pretty sure her sword was golden in the first couple of days of the War, not black like it was last I saw her. Anyway, she started the fighting again. Sneak attacked Berserker and cut down Assassin. After that, she chased down Rider, and then they all ganged up on Lancer. Archer might've been our best shot at beating her, but for whatever reason the guy all but fell on her sword. He was a weird one, sure, but that definitely caught me off guard," Cu just shook his head.

"Just means we'll have to kill him too," Era nonchalantly shrugged.

"The worst part, though? Every Servant she beat, the Grail spat back out some kind of shadow copy of them. I'm not certain but I think they're acting like Saber's personal familiars, they seem pretty in tune with everything she wants. Not just clones, either. It's like . . well, how much do you all know about how Servants work?"

"Not as much as I want to," Tyler admitted.

"Not as much as we need to," Nikki grumbled.

"Not enough to be able to kill them," Era groused.

Cu cast the latter a questioning look, but soldiered on. "Lancer was an edge case. She fought so hard that she burned herself out. The rest are more aware, more alive. But they're not the heroes they were. Their defining traits, the acts of heroism that made them who they are, have been stripped away. All that's left is hatred, shame and despair. And a dash of insanity, too,"

"Can confirm. Assassin did not seem all there," Nikki agreed.

"None of this changes the fact that our target is Saber. She's guarding the Grail now, and Archer's guarding her. Lancer, Assassin and Rider have been running all around the city, hunting for me. Don't know where Berserker got off to, but if we're lucky it won't matter. I'm taking us straight to the cave where they squirrelled away the Grail. We'll have to beat Archer, then Saber, but with this many Servants that should be doable, at least,"

"And hopefully we can avoid ever seeing Rider or Berserker, yeah?" Era piped up.

"Don't jinx it!" Tyler immediately reprimanded her.

"Hey, Master, where're you going?" Astolfo called, and everyone paused to realise that Nikki had been just about to vanish behind a wall into a different street. The directionally challenged Master rejoined the group with a grumble. "Sorry. I was lost in thought."

"About what?"

"How the hell we're supposed to fix this Singularity. Because, if you all forgot, that's what we're here for. To get history back on track. Make it like none of this ever happened - but apparently doing that would require bringing several thousand people back to life? How are we supposed to fix that?"

"Actually, I have good news about that," a voice piped up from their communicators, followed by Dr. Roman's face. "Hey, everyone, I'm back! All the injured are as medically stable as I can make them. Now I'm free to help out all of you and - oh no! Mash! What happened? Are you alright?"

"I'm okay, doctor! Hanging in there. Just have to bear it out until we can go back to Chaldea, right?" the Demi-Servant assured him.

"Al . . alright, well. Take care of yourself," the doctor offered, unconvinced. "Um. As I was saying, about solving the Singularity. I'm pretty sure the Holy Grail is the only thing that's maintaining this divergence from history. The entire area around you is permeated with a magical effect that indicates this space is only a little shy of being no more real than a Reality Marble. It's already on the verge of breaking down, but something's forcing it to continue to exist. It can only be the Grail. If we can retrieve the Grail and remove it from this Singularity when you Rayshift back to Chaldea, the Singularity should collapse on its own directly afterwards. Of course, to do that you'll need to defeat this Saber,"

"Okay. Okay. Good. Thar's a plan then. Now, we need a plan for the plan. How do we defeat Saber? Cu, you've met her, you've watched her fight. How much do you know about her?"

"Plenty. For starters, her True Name is Artoria Pendragon," Cu began.

Everyone stopped dead, and most of them turned to face Saber Lily.

"Wait, what?" the Servant in question spluttered.

"Yup. I don't know just what to make of that either, but she's a taller version of you with a much meaner sword," Cu summarised.

"Uh, hang on. You're saying my adult self is our enemy?" Lily asked, pale face going paler.

"Exactamundo. She's done something to herself, though - or maybe the Grail did it. No real way to tell. I wasn't blowing smoke when I said that she's been corrupted, sort of. The others are all vestiges, copies, imitations I guess you could say, but she's different. If I didn't know any better, I'd think it was some nonsense about her being replaced by a version of herself from an alternate universe or something like that,"

"So, is she weaker or anything?" Tyler hoped.

"Nah, she's still the King of Knights. Fighting her comes with two problems. The first is that as soon as she feels like it she's gonna wave her glow stick of doom at us. Can anyone here take a hit from Excalibur? No? Didn't think so. The second is hitting her hard enough to put her down. We'll have a window after she uses Excalibur for the first time, while she's recharging. That'll be our best shot at taking her out with one big, clean hit. But I don't have anything like that up my sleeve. So! Cards on the table, everyone. What have we got?"

"I can strike her down with my Noble Phantasm," Sita immediately put forwards. "I have a Core of the Goddess, its energy output should grant me enough power to defeat Saber in a single blow. That said, I'll be vulnerable for a few seconds while it's charging. I'll need the three of you to buy me some time and get me a shot,"

"Hey, yeah, you mentioned that before," Tyler interjected. "Sorry for my ignorance, but who exactly are you? Everyone knows the King of Knights, and I heard about the Paladins of Charlemagne a bit," Astolfo preened at the recognition. "But I'm not familiar with the name Sita,"

"Very well, I can explain," Sita took a breath. "In short, I am Sita, the wife of Rama. My husband is the avatar of Vishnu, hero of the Ramayana. I am, myself, an avatar of Lakshmi,"

Tyler started, but Era and Nikki still looked confused. "Nope, don't know it,"

"It's one of the most famous Indian epic myths of all time!" Dr. Roman yelled from the communicators.

"Exactly! When we get back to Chaldea, you are reading that book. Or at least watching the movie," Tyler insisted.

Sita blanched. "They made a movie?"

"More importantly, that means you have a Divine Spirit level Noble Phantasm to blast Saber with. That sounds perfect," Nikki grinned.

"So I summoned a good Servant?" Era asked.

"You summoned exactly the sort of Servant we need to survive and win. So yeah, you did great," Nikki assured her, playfully ruffling her hair.

"Oi, we've still gotta figure out how to block Excalibur," Astolfo argued as they continued to walk. "Also, you said we're gonna need to fight Archer just to get to Saber? What's he like?"

"I don't know his True Name, but he's not very strong. He's definitely weaker than Lancer, for one thing. As you might expect, though, he specialises in ranged combat. He has this really annoying trick where he curves his shots around whatever sort of cover you're taking, too, so when we fight him, always stay on the move. If he gets a free moment to take a shot, dodging is possible but nothing short of being covered from all directions will stop the blow from hitting you. We just have to keep him distracted and off-balance, and wear him - grrk,"

Everyone froze as Cu stumbled, a sudden spray of blood erupting from his chest.

"Oh! Oh, oh dear, oh, goodness. It's so sad, so incredibly, unbearably sad," Everyone turned to face the road, which ended at the entrance to a cave about a kilometre ahead.

Approaching was another Shadow Servant, a man clad in armour with his face exposed. Shadows rippled across his form, but his silver armour, pale skin and red hair were much easier to see than Lancer's features had been. "I can't have you giving away all my tricks, Caster, that would be so, incredibly, saaaaad," the man simpered, idly swinging a bow in his left hand. In a simple, casual motion, he flipped it into the air and plucked the bowstring like a harp.

Astolfo's eyes widened and his jaw went taut. "Get down!" the Rider hollered, leaping to the side just barely quickly enough for an invisible projectile from an impossible angle to strike his arm rather than shred Era's chest.

"He's targeting Era. He must know that as my Master, she's the weak point of our plan to defeat Saber. We must defeat him quickly!" Sita barked, dropping Mash next to the orangette and firing a salvo of arrows.

"My pleasure! Open wide!" Astolfo concurred, charging in and closing the distance, sword coming up to strike at their enemy's face.

"Oh, this is so intolerably sad. You really have underestimated me, haven't you. You really thought that I'd accept a one on four fight? That's so, distressingly, saaaaad," the Archer crooned, bringing his bow up to block a strike from Astolfo's sword.

Lily, who'd been about to follow, froze as she processed the implications of his words. "What does - oh no. Everyone, look out! He's not alone!"

"Could you not run your mouth? For once in your life? Archer!" The Masters turned to see another knight, this one on horseback, slowing as he approached them. Lily was already moving in to confront him, and Cu, clutching his chest, moved to join her.

"First Aid," Tyler whispered, healing light suffusing the Caster, who shot him a grateful smile.

"It would have been so convenient if I could have run you all down. But, fine," Rider groaned, brandishing his lance. "The hard way will suffice,"

"I won't allow you!" Saber Lily yelled, charging and bringing her sword around to decapitate the shadowy horse. The knight's shield swept in to block it, and Caliburn bounced off the jousting shield.

"Cu, True Names! Who are we fighting?"

"I don't know who Archer is, but Rider is Saint George!" the Caster declared, charging a bolt of magic.

Tyler sharply inhaled. "The dragon slayer?!"

Hearing that, Lily winced. "Oh -" Whatever she was about to say was lost as the knight's gauntleted fist struck her in the face, sending her staggering back. The horse wheeled and neighed, rearing up and lunging forwards to bring its front hooves down on her exposed chest.

"Instant Enhancement!" Tyler barked and a shot of magic suffused Cu, who grinned and yelled something grateful as a substantially larger blast of magic than he'd been expecting shot out of his staff, striking the horse and sending it crashing to the ground.

Never one to miss a good opportunity, Lily leapt back to her feet, Caliburn whipping around, and buried her blade in the horse's neck as George was thrown clear and landed in a heap. With a pained neigh, the horse slumped and began to disintegrate into dark, ashen Spritrons. George rose to his feet, recovering his lance, and the two knights squared off.

On the other side of the battlefield, Astolfo was locked in close combat with Archer. His every blow was deflected by careful positioning of his bow. "Say, you're pretty good at this for an Archer,"

Archer's finger slid down the string, producing a musical hum as he bounced Astolfo's sword off the crook of his bow, the paladin not missing a beat and pirouetting with the recoil to attack from the other side. "Why thank you,"

Mash cried out as another projectile aimed at Era's heart bounced off her shield, this one coming from the window of a nearby building. Nikki observed this and gritted her teeth. "Astolfo, I don't know how but he's still getting off shots at us! Whatever you're doing, it's not enough!"

"What?" Astolfo yelled back as an opportunistic knee strike was deflected. "He's just been blocking my attacks this whole time, how's that possible?"

"Surprised?" the Archer mocked. "Well, since I'm so sad that Caster over there was incapable of introducing me properly, I'll have to explain myself on my own terms," He plucked his bowstring, and Astolfo cried out as a blow hit him in the back, causing him to stumble. Archer took the opportunity to slam his bow into the pinkette's skull, knocking him to the ground, and pinned him in place with an armoured foot. "I am a loyal Knight of the Round Table; the honourable Knight of Lamentation, Sir Tristan!"

This proclamation was met with a resounding lack of clamour.

". . Really? Nothing?"

"Should we get Tyler over here? He probably knows who this guy is," Era whispered, glancing back in the direction where the third Master was directing Lily and Cu against Rider.

"I thought the Archer in Fuyuki was King Gilgamesh?" Nikki frowned. "Not that I'm complaining about not having to fight him, but . . no, sorry, I didn't read all the footnotes in Arthurian mythology. Better things to do, you know?"

Tristan's eye twitched. "Footnote? Right. That makes me very," he raised his bow and brought it down on Astolfo's neck, snapping, "Sad!"

An explosion knocked him backwards, and he staggered, bow slamming into the ground. "Did you forget you're also facing me?" Sita snapped, nocking another arrow that glowed with golden light.

Tristan scoffed, plucking his bowstring, and a whistling projectile slashed at her hip, knocking off her aim and sending the arrow soaring into the middle distance.

"It's sound," For the first time, Nikki had a clear view of what was happening when Tristan fired his shots. "He's somehow converting the sound of his bow twanging like that into projectiles of pure sound," She wracked her brains for a second, doing her best to plan on the fly. The result wasn't something that she would look back on later with pride, but it was better than letting the Altered Tristan kill Astolfo. "Hey!" Nikki barked, pointing an indignant finger at Tristan.

". . What?" the corrupted knight snapped.

"You're not an Archer at all!"

His brows furrowed. "Do elaborate?"

"Archers are supposed to be warriors that use projectile weapons to fight! You aren't using projectiles, you're just being loud and carrying a small stick! You should be an Assassin or something!"

"Ex - excuse me?" Tristan spluttered. "Oh, that does it. I am a Knight of the Round Table, I will not stand here and take the sad slander of a sad little novice Master! I believe a demonstration is in order!" He took a breath and drew back his bowstring. "Singing of pain, playing laments. This is my arrow. Failnau-grk!"

His hands fell from his bow, and he stumbled, clutching at his chest. "But . . oh. I see. You were distracting me, and I fell for it. How . . sad," And then he crumpled, Astolfo's sword protruding from the gap between his stomach and pelvic armour.

Astolfo picked himself up and retrieved his sword from the disintegrating corpse of the Knight of Lamentations, not sparing another glance at the defeated enemy and instead laughing as he staggered over to the group. "Hahaha, Master, you're mad. I love it!"

"I'm just glad you could take the hint before he shot me," Nikki breathed, feeling her terror catch up with her. She squashed it back down, promising her ragged nerves that, once they were out of the burning hellscape of angry undead, she would take the time to decompress and have a minor nervous breakdown.

"Yep! My Master's the best!" Astolfo beamed. "Nevermind that she was a second from dying, that's not a problem at all, right?"

"Please don't be so casual, I only have the one life you know," his Master admitted, aggrieved.

"Now, about Rider," Sita pointed out, and they looked over to the other end of the street.

Whilst they had been facing down (non-)Archer, Lily and Georgios had been engaged in melee combat. Divested of his horse and wielding what was ultimately only a replica of a true Noble Phantasm, Georgios was slowly but surely being beaten back.

The fact that Caster was peppering him with bolts of magic was further diminishing any chance he might have had of victory.

"This is hopeless," Georgios realised after a particularly bad clash sent him stumbling away.

"Do you wish to concede?" Lily asked.

"No," the Rider glowered. "You don't understand. From the moment the sky was stained red, I knew everything was hopeless. This reality has been forsaken, some sin had been committed that condemned this world to damnation. This transient, meaningless existence was fated to end within days, maybe weeks. I was at peace with that, so I allowed Saber to strike me down and hoped my next summoning might provide more meaning. And yet here I still am, an image of the image of a saint. A copy that lost everything worthwhile about the original in the process of being copied. I have nothing left; not even the promise that these days will be added to my record in the Throne," He choked out a frustrated laugh. "Though, I suppose we're all in the same boat here,"

"No, we aren't," Tyler stepped forward, shaking his head, and Cu kept himself between Georgios and the Master. "I . . that's awful, it really is. I'm sorry that we can't save you . . but we're not from this Singularity. We Rayshifted here, time travelled, because someone's messed with the past,"

"The past . ." Georgios' shadowed eyes widened. "Then . . this is not how things are supposed to be? There is still a tomorrow?"

"Yeah, there is. But what you're all doing here, this space, this . . error in reality, I guess, is jeopardising it. We need to fix that or . ." Tyler paused. "Well, actually, I have no idea what might happen. Some kind of apocalypse? Point is, it'd be bad,"

"No one explained anything to you, did they, kid?" Cu quietly muttered in disbelief.

"So that's how it is . . then I truly have become an agent of evil," Georgios muttered in disbelief. "Then this fight really is worthless . . I don't even know why I continue to swing this sword,"

"Then why should you?" Lily challenged.

Georgios chuckled, stepping back. His hand twitched, seemingly involuntarily, but with a fluid motion he drove his sword into the ground and let it rest there. "A fair question. I could say that it is simply because she bade me do so. Saber, that is. Artoria Pendragon, if you weren't aware,"

"We were, but thank you,"

The Shadow Servant smiled and looked down. "Your gratitude is a kindness I do not deserve," But," A faint noise escaped his throat that could have been a chuckle, a grunt, or anything in between. "Though I am but an empty shell, I still have one trick left. My second Noble Phantasm," Lily immediately hefted her sword, but the Rider raised a conciliatory hand. "No, no. It's not the sort that one uses as a weapon. It merely allows me to determine whether my foes are good or evil, by temporarily manifesting their spirit in draconic form. I'd like to use it to observe all of you,"

"Why make such a request?" Lily challenged.

"Because I've lost all claim to righteousness, perverted though I am. I had resigned myself to a demise at the hands of some greater evil than my own," Lines of fatigue crossed his face, and heavy eyebrows drooped as he spoke. "But if I were to die with the knowledge that my demise was brought about by something that is good, perhaps I might find some modicum of peace. It's a selfish request, I know, but there's no harm in reaching for even a distant glimmer of light. Or so I'd like to think, anyway,"

"I'll allow it," Tyler nodded, stepping forwards.

"Master!" Lily protested, but he shook his head.

"Saints are saints, and all he wants is redemption. Look at him, he's given up. If this lets him die in peace, then I don't want to deny him that on the slim chance he might be tricking us. I assume that, seeing as you're clinging to what's left of your honour, this isn't a trick?" he challenged.

"On whatever I have that might pass for a soul, I swear I have no intention of harming you with this act. That said, if my judgement determines you're just as vile as I have become, then . ." Georgios pursed his lips. "Then I shall do the world one final favour and rid it of some modicum of its evil,"

"In that case, Lily, put your sword to his neck. No reason to take chances," Tyler determined, and with a resolute nod his Servant obeyed.

"Ah, a pragmatic Master. Very sensible," Georgios nodded. "My demise is assured, then, but my request stands. If I may?"

"Go for it," the boy confirmed. "I hope this gives you some peace,"

Georgios raised a hand. "Thou Shalt A Serpent Become: Abyssus Draconis!" His cloak and mantle fluttered in an unseen wind, shining with iridescent light that washed over Servants and Master alike. Three pillars of light erupted around their feet, shining into the sky and projecting holographic images from within their very being.

To no one's surprise, Lily's manifestation was a bright red drake. An adolescent Dragon of Wales that as they watched drew itself up, not quite able to reach a shadowy crown high above.

By contrast, Cu's apparition was a bright green Irish dragon. Visibly wizened, but with a cunning gleam in its eyes, surrounded by a corona of magic.

Both were outshone by Tyler's, though; his spirit took the form of a regal silvery-white dragon standing tall with wings outstretched and a red crest on its chest, with strings hanging down from its wings and supporting several ranks of shadowy figures that stood around it. Underneath them was a green and blue texture in the immediately recognisable shape of the Earth's northern hemisphere.

Tyler choked, looking up at the image Georgios was projecting of his own soul. "That's . . me?"

"I see," Georgios nodded, while everyone stared at the apparitions. A small smile crossed his lips. "So I was just a stepping stone on the path of one who will be radiant. I can . . accept that,"

Lily felt a pressure against her sword, and looked down to see that the saint's body was slumped over her blade, blood dripping onto the scorched earth underfoot.

By the time anyone else was able to look back at the spot where Georgios had stood, only a cloud of Spiritrons wafted into the air.

Chapter Text

The party of Masters and Servants progressed down the tunnel, some jumping at every shadow.

"We still don't have a plan for Excalibur," Nikki fretted.

"Girlie's got a big honking Noble Phantasm shield," Cu pointed out, gesturing to Mash - who was now being carried by Astolfo on the basis that Sita needed her hands free for her Noble Phantasm, just in case Saber popped out of nowhere.

"Yes, but it's not my own Noble Phantasm, it belongs to the Heroic Spirit inside me. I don't know what its True Name is, so I can't use it properly," Mash explained with an apologetic sigh. "I'm sorry, everyone,"

"Oh, is that all?" Lily quirked an eyebrow. "You should have said so. I may not truly be King Artoria, but I am still a version of her, so I still have most of her memories. You're holding the Round Table,"

Everyone stopped dead.

"Hang on! Hang on, hang on, hang on!" Tyler snapped. "Are you saying we've been protecting ourselves with the actual, literal, Round Table of Camelot?!"

"Yes. Although, it's not the table at the point at which it was a table. I believe that's the form it took after we converted it into a shield for Galahad to wield," Lilly paused. "I suppose that means that the Spirit inside you is most likely Galahad,"

"Yeah? One of your buddies is here with us and he didn't even say hello? That's so rude!" Astolfo frowned, peering at Mash's ear. "Oi! Haddie! Gal pal! Say something!"

Predictably, there was no response, except for a moment later, when Mash quietly requested; "Please stop breathing on my ear, it's very uncomfortable,"

"Unfortunately, this is exactly what I would expect from Galahad. He is . . too good at being a knight for his own good, is perhaps the best way I'd put it," Lily grumbled. "The True Name of that Noble Phantasm is Lord Camelot. Shout it out, and you should be able to perform a True Name Release. However," she grimaced, "I'm not sure that counting on a Noble Phantasm that we've never been able to deploy successfully is a good idea."

"I'll try my best!" Mash protested.

"No one thinks you won't, but we need to have options," Nikki assured her. "No plan with a single point of failure should ever be considered reliable,"

"I have some protection charms my big sister made for me?" Era offered, rolling up her sleeve to reveal a row of topaz gemstones set into runic inlays. "If we shared them between all of us, then -"

"Don't bother. Those things aren't bad, probably would protect you from anything you're likely to find in the Moonlit World, but twenty-first century magecraft won't stand up to Excalibur. I can tell just by looking at them. Against a Noble Phantasm on that level, you might as well hold a piece of paper over your head," Cu shot the idea down. Era pouted, but nodded.

"Well, if we don't have any way of blocking Excalibur, what about parrying it?" Nikki suggested. "Sword to sword. Um, beam to beam, I guess,"

"I can't parry Excalibur with Caliburn. It's an objectively superior sword, I won't be able to equal her output," Lily shook her head.

"Well that's fine! I'll just parry it with mine!" Astolfo cheerily offered.

"Really? Actually, say, what is your Noble Phantasm? You're a Rider, but you have a sword on par with Excalibur?" Nikki pressed.

"Nope!" the pinkette declared. "Doing something crazy like that, my sword would smash to pieces in an instant,"

". . then, why -"

"What's a plain old sword worth compared to the lives of everyone here? All I've gotta do is parry it, right? Who cares if the sword goes bust on me after one hit, if that hit's enough to stop Excalibur from turning us all to dust? My actual Noble Phantasm gives me enough speed to close with her in an instant, I'm sure it'll be faster than however many seconds it takes her to fire off Excalibur. Trust me, Master, I can do this!"

Nikki stifled a smile. "Alright. That'll be plan A. We'll call Lord Camelot plan C. Does anyone have a plan B?"

The group exchanged glances.

"If you empower me with a Command Spell, I might be able to take the hit with my Wicker Man," Cu offered.

"Isn't it made of wood?" Era petulantly protested.

"It's magic wood," the Caster evidently felt that was adequate explanation. His Master still looked unconvinced, but nodded regardless.

"Right! Three plans for stopping Excalibur, that's as good as we're likely to get. Remember the plan, everyone; Astolfo and Lily engage, keep her busy and off balance. Cu, hang back, only engage if she looks like she's going to attack us or Sita. Sita, fire off your Noble Phantasm as soon as possible. We'll be counting on you to deal the killing blow. Any questions?"

"Are you sure we're going the right way?" Era piped up, gesturing behind Nikki, who turned to see that the cave dead-ended a hundred metres ahead.

"OH COME ON HOW DID I GET LOST GOING IN A STRAIGHT LINE?!"

X

After far too much walking, they finally entered a massive cave. At the far end was an elevated platform, behind which they could see a massive ball of energy. Standing over it was an unmistakable figure; though her armour was black, hair and skin deathly pale, and eyes covered by a black visor, she looked exactly like Lily's hypothetical evil older sister.

A confused eyebrow lifted above the visor. "I sensed you defeat Archer more than two hours ago. It should have barely been a twenty minute walk from his post to here. What took you so long?"

"I don't. Want. To hear it," Nikki growled.

"Very well," Her hands, which had been clasped behind her back, swept outwards, one holding an evil-looking black blade. "Considering your actions thus far, I assume that you have come here to kill me," Saber Alter said in a conversational tone.

"We need to resolve this Singularity and undo the distortion CHALDEAS detected in humanity's future. The only way to do that that we know of is to either destroy or retrieve that Holy Grail behind you. If you'd try to prevent that, then you're our enemy," Nikki confirmed, trying not to let her voice waver

"Is that what we're doing?" Era whispered.

"You didn't know?" Tyler questioned.

"No one tells me anything!"

"Ah. Unfortunately, I still require the use of this Grail, so I refuse to allow you to kill me," Saber Alter pursed her lips and raised her sword above her head. "Vortigern, Hammer of the Vile King," she began.

"Astolfo, now!" Nikki barked.

"Otherworldly Phantom Horse: Hippogriff!" There was a burst of light and Astolfo's red cloak billowed out behind him as loose feathers popped into existence, followed by a majestic white-and-brown eagle/horse hybrid. The Hippogriff charged, screeching in fury, crossing the distance with such speed that it seemed to blur and form a blue shield of energy around itself.

Already committed, Saber Alter could do nothing but slide to the side in hopes of firing around the seemingly suicidal Rider. "Reverse the rising sun. Sword of Promised Victory: Excalibur Morgan!"

As he corrected to the left, Astolfo's sword met Excalibur. With a grunt of effort, he levered it against the descending blade, even as cracks ran through the steel of his sword.

Saber Alter, glaring at him behind her visor, gnashed her teeth and pressed down harder.

There was a noise like breaking glass as the opposing sword shattered without redirecting Excalibur at all.

Nikki froze with a sharp inhale of shock, but Era reacted, pressing a hand to the red fox design on her hand. "Cu! Nommand Spell, Coble Phant - uh, I mean -"

"I got it, Master!" Cu nodded, stepping forwards as a burst of red light erupted from his Master's hand, wrapping around him and bathing his staff in a red glow. "Cage of Scorching, Consuming Flames: Wicker Man!" A flaming colossus erupted from the ground before them, kneeling down with arms crossed to better use itself as a shield for the Masters.

Excalibur fired, a laser of red and black that seemed to drain light from the room. It smashed into the giant, which vainly attempted to reconstruct itself even as the corrupted light atomised it.

After a long, heart-stopping moment, the light faded, leaving nothing but burning cinders raining down around the Masters and Servants. Cu fell to one knee, breathing heavily. "That is . . not how Wicker Man's supposed to be used,' he groused.

"Sita, start charging! Lily -" Nikki commanded, but Saber Lily was already rushing in to join Astolfo, who'd decided the best use of his time was repeatedly punching Saber Alter in the face.

Her corrupted visor cracked on the second blow, but after the third she used Excalibur to slap the Rider right off his Hippogriff, sending him sprawling to the floor. "It was a mistake to discard your sword so casually," she taunted him, bringing her own up for a finishing blow.

"Disagree! I'm a Rider!" Astolfo retorted with a gamely smile, scrabbling to his feet as the Hippogriff lunged for the Saber with claws outstretched. She deflected with Excalibur, and a flare of mana sent it sprawling. Saber Alter rounded on Astolfo once again and brought her blade up for a slash of execution.

Then Lily arrived, Caliburn positioning itself before Excalibur, and parried it to the side.

Astolfo took the chance, rolling away and scrabbling to his feet as the two versions of Artoria Pendragon focused on each other.

"You are not me! You are not who I become! You cannot be! Who are you?" Lily yelled in her face as the cutting edges of their blades locked with each other.

". . Huh," was Saber Alter's only response, before she disengaged and danced sideways, avoiding an effort from Astolfo to trip her.

Lily swung again, the backdraft from her strike causing her skirt to flare. "Tell me what happened! What made you this way?!"

"Desperation," Alter retorted, parrying and taking advantage of the opening to strike past Lily's guard and carve a bloody slash into her hip. "If what you want from me is a word of warning, or some kind of cautionary tale, then I must disappoint you," She danced back, foiling another attempted trip on Astolfo's part, and caught an overhead swing from Caliburn along the flat of Excalibur. "It's simply that if you only have one choice to continue to exist, you have no choice at all. Had I attempted to hold on to my purity, I'd have died. Perhaps someday you'll understand. If you don't die today,"

Astolfo lunged from behind, but Alter planted a solid kick into his midsection that sent him sailing away. "Also, you. Go away,"

"That's it? That's the sum total of your reasoning? You'll just do whatever you must to preserve your own existence?!" Lily roared, abandoning all attempts at finesse and hacking and slashing at her corrupted self like a lumberjack. "What makes this cursed life of yours so worthwhile, anyway?!"

"I will not be condemned by you, who has no right to judge me," Alter lowly told her, deflecting her strike and planting an armoured boot on her hip, knocking her away too and buying herself a second's reprieve before Astolfo was on her again.

A second was all she needed, though, and Saber Alter levelled her corrupted sword at the gaggle of Masters and crippled Demi-Servant still clustered at the entrance to the cave. "And you will not kill me today. Vortigern, Hammer of the Vile King. Reverse the rising sun. Sword of Promised Victory: Excalibur Morgan!" A corona of black and red light built, heralding the impending blast of annihilation that promised death to the human contingent of Chaldea.

"No," Lily whimpered.

Astolfo lunged, but knew he couldn't possibly redirect the sword.

Cu groaned, still picking himself up, and muttered something unrepeatable at the sight of the oncoming death ray.

"Lord Camelot," Mash tried with a shaky breath, thrusting her shield forward. There was a flicker of light that quickly fizzled. "Lord Camelot!" she tried again, to similarly little response.

"Help!" Era screamed, hiding behind the shopping cart but unable to wrest her eyes away from their impending doom. "Please, somebody . ." There was an instant of stretched-out silence, and Mash saw the moment that the innocent young girl realised she was going to die. ". . help," she whispered.

No. Mash didn't know where the feeling came from, deep within her heart, but every fibre of her being screamed no. If the only thing she ever achieved in her worthless, meaningless life was to save this little girl, right here and right now, she would do it. Surely, if nothing else, her life was worth that much.

Her lips parted as she inhaled, and screamed. "Now Is A Castle Of Distant Ideals: Lord Camelot!"

The red and black laser lashed out.

It crashed against a blue shield of energy.

Screaming in fury and desperation, Mash forced the enemy's Noble Phantasm back, an aura of power forming the phantasmal image of great white walls around them. Flares of light escaped outwards, but nothing touched the people behind Mash's protection.

Alter's eyes widened.

"Down With A Touch! Trap of Argalia!"Then her balance collapsed as her lower left leg momentarily became incorporeal, and she found herself stumbling, Excalibur's light dying as Astolfo crowed in victory at having finally managed to trip her. "Sita, you ready yet? Now!" he commanded.

"Finally," the Indian Servant nodded, stepping forward and raising her bow, which evaporated into Spiritrons as she chanted. A massive duplicate of her bow appeared from the particles, and she grabbed its string with both hands, walking backwards and dragging its drawstring back. "Peerless Bow of Reminiscence: Haradhanu Janaka,"

"No," Alter breathed. "No!" she repeated, snatching up her sword and bringing it around in a blocking position.

Sita released the string, and fired. A golden laser split the cave, ripples around it as the shot broke the sound barrier.

The force of the impact lifted Alter off her feet and slammed her into the wall behind with a scream of pain, ionised energy scorching her exposed skin and burning away the corruption that had encrusted her.

After a long moment, it was finally over. Chunks of her armour and skin were bleached or burnt away, and Saber Alter crashed to the ground.

Masters and Servants alike hesitantly advanced, Lily leading the charge and pressing the tip of her sword to her corrupted self's back. "Corrupted King of Knights? Do you yet live?"

The heap of singed armour mumbled something that sounded disparaging.

"Good. There's something I want to know," Lily grabbed Alter's hair and lifted her head so that her face was visible, then snatched the broken and battered visor off it. Keeping her sword ready, she crouched to stare into the corrupt Servant's eyes. "Why?" Lily asked. "Why did you do all this? Destroy this world? Burn everything?"

The Altered Servant's yellow eyes met hers, and the stony facade shattered. "I," she mumbled, her lips parting in a scowl. "I only wanted to live. This world went wrong, somehow, and everything died. I lost my connection to the Counter Force, and could tell from that, that this reality was about to cease to be. If you're asking if I killed humanity in this world, it was not I. I do not know what did, or why, just that humanity burned and only we Servants were spared. If you can call this being spared," she grimaced, gesturing at herself.

"My only desire was to continue existing. No matter the cost, even if I were reduced to a shall of my former self. I killed the other Servants and fed them to the Grail to preserve my own life, and it stained me. I took possession of the Grail, and directed its power to preserving this reality, this flaming city, to extend my own life. Unfortunately, there's something about that Grail that's incredibly filthy. Although . . perhaps that's my fault, too," Alter offered her younger counterpart a sad smile. "I'm jealous of you, because you still have that purity that I cast away. I wish that I could undo all that has happened, and experience life through your eyes once more," She chuckled grimly. "If only I could have made such a wish on the Grail,"

The silence that followed this was broken when Nikki groaned. "Oh, oh god damnit. Damnit! You really just want to keep on existing, huh? You're okay with anything else as long as you get to live?"

"I suppose I am . . why?"

"Then break off your connection to the Grail and form a contract with me. We'll take you back to Chaldea. We were supposed to have seven Servants anyway, even with you it'll only be five so I'm sure no one will mind much,"

Everyone looked at her as though she was insane.

"Huh?" Era squealed.

"Have you lost it?" was Tyler's more rational response.

"What? . . Why? How can you even consider trusting me after everything that has happened in this Singularity?" Saber Alter challenged.

"Because I hate being wasteful. Sure, you did bad things. Who hasn't? But if you weren't responsible for all the fire and death, all you're really guilty of is killing a bunch of other Servants. Which isn't greatbut it isn't unforgivable either. And I guess I can't condemn you for a desire as simple and human as wanting to live. If you swear loyalty to me, I'm willing to let it go,"

"So the price of forgiveness is an oath I could break at any time?"

"Do you have any reason to, though? We all know how Servants work. When we're away from here and you don't have a Grail on hand to replace me with, if you kill me you seal your own fate. Betraying me gets you nothing and costs you everything," Nikki argued.

"Such arrogant logic," Alter observed. A pearl of harsh, sardonic laughtee escaped her throat. "I approve. Very well then. I accept your terms, but there is something you should be aware of. If I break my connection, the Grail stops fuelling this Singularity's continued existence. So we'd better not do this until we have an escape plan."

"Understood. That means we're waiting on the Director to repair the Rayshift equipment," Nikki determined.

"Hang on, hang on, everyone," Tyler interrupted. "Alter Artoria here - that's a mouthful, I'm gonna call you Altria - just said that she wasn't responsible for all the fire in Fuyuki, right?"

"That's correct," Altria nodded.

"But then. If that wasn't you, then who?"

Taking the cue, slow claps echoed from the far end of the cave, and everyone glanced back at the Greater Grail to see a tall man in a top hat and a green suit walking into view. "Honestly. Can not a single one of you do anything right? None of you should have gotten anywhere near this point. It's far beyond my plan's expectations and my own tolerances,"

Mash started. Everyone else just blinked in confusion.

"Uh, sorry, but who are you?" Tyler questioned.

"Well, I can't say I'm surprised that the ignorant third-rate non-Magus Master doesn't -"

"I don't know who you are either," Nikki admitted. "Were we supposed to meet at some point?"

The man fumed, but before he could retort Era piped up. "Actually, wait, I know who you are!"

"As gratified as I am that at least one of you -"

"You're the leprechaun! Like for St. Patrick's Day!" Era cheered, inducing stares of disbelief from her allies. "Are you gonna do a funny dance? Ooh, did you bring a pot of gold?"

The man choked through gritted teeth. "I am Lev Lainur!" he finally roared. "Assistant Director of Chaldea - I am your superior, damnit!"

Era frowned. "Just because you're tall doesn't make you important," she retorted with folded arms and a pout. Lev's eyes bulged in fury.

"I'm, uh, sorry about her, sir, she's just a child," Mash hastily interjected, tugging Era back towards her.

"Oh, so the Director got the Rayshift working? Great!" Nikki nodded, toggling her communicator. "Director? Dr. Roman? Does that mean you're ready to bring us back? You didn't have to send Lev here to meet us,"

"What?! Lev's there?" Olga-Marie yelled, appearing on the feed. Frowning, Nikki obligingly rotated her arm so she could see him. "Lev! You're alive!"

"Hold on. Nikki, you have the wrong idea. We didn't send Lev there - we thought he died in the explosion!" Dr. Roman chimed in.

"Really? Is that Romani's voice grating on my ears now? You survived as well?" Lev grumbled. "I told you to come to the command room immediately. What kept you?"

"Well, uh, Tyler convinced me that we could stop and get coffee," Dr. Roman answered, sounding chastised.

"Coffee? Coffee?" Lev's eyes shot open and he growled. "Do you mean to tell me that my perfectly laid plans were ruined because you pieces of biological refuse decided you wanted some coffee?!"

"No, I think it's also because I got lost," Nikki interjected with an uncertain smile.

"You can't avoid your destiny simply by getting lost! Just looking at you makes me want to throw up - how did a gang of fools, ghosts and children end up doing so much damage to my perfectly laid plan?!"

"Lev?" Olga-Marie asked through the communicator, hesitation in her voice. "Lev, what are you saying? Is this thing working right? The Lev I knew would never say such things!"

"And you!re there too, Olga? You sound like you're much less dead than I'd hoped. I should have stayed at Chaldea a little longer after planting those bombs, perhaps then I could have rectified that personally. I suppose it's too late now. How annoying,"

"What do you mean, you planted those bombs?" the Director demanded. "Why would you do such a thing?"

"To kill you! Obviously! You can't actually possibly be this stupid . . well, no, of course you can. That's why it was so easy to string you along these past few years. How foolish of me to expect anything remotely resembling competence from a failure like you, Olga-Marie Animusphere," Lev scoffed.

Stunned into silence, the communicator went dead.

"But, you know," Lev hummed to himself, sauntering towards the Masters. "I might as well take out some pent-up aggression on the convenient targets before me. None of you mind dying, do you? Oh, how silly of me, it's not as though you have a choice in the matter,"

Cu Chulainn stepped forwards, his arms folded. "Yeah, fat chance. We have five Servants here, and you're just one human. What exactly do you plan to do to us?"

He choked.

Everyone gasped.

Lev's fist was suddenly protruding from Cu's back, a visible bulge under the coat with blood dropping from it.

The man brought his other hand down on Cu's head, and the Caster collapsed, held up only by his killer's hand through his guts. "You utter fool. Allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Lev Lainur Flauros, in charge of the year 2017, sent to dispose of you humans. Chaldea is finished. You humans have reached the moment of your destruction,"

"What are you talking about?" Nikki demanded, then paused. "Is this why Chaldeas caught fire?"

"Hah, you have no idea at all. That flame you saw, is the reality that this is the end. The future, the past. All of Human History has been incinerated. Your era, your civilisation no longer exists. Romani, you can still hear me, correct?"

"Yup. You got something to say to me in particular?" the doctor called through the communicators.

"You've been unable to reach the outside world since the disaster, correct? That's no technical fault. It's just that there's no one left to receive your messages. The magnetic field around Chaldea may be protecting you for now, but anything outside your facility has suffered the same fate as Fuyuki. With the sole exception of Chaldea, the entire world of humanity has been reduced to ash,"

Silence greeted this declaration.

"So, that's why, huh . ." Dr. Roman mumbled.

"It doesn't matter, though, because when the time within Chaldea reaches 2019 you will all cease to exist regardless. That cannot be changed; human history has rejected humanity. Everything you know has perished because of the foolishness of you humans! Your incompetence! And, above all else, because you displeased our King!"

Lev cast the corpse of Cu Chulainn aside and folded his bloodied arms. "But you rabble, I'm going to kill you myself, because you displeased me,"

"Flauros!" Everyone turned to see Altria struggle to her feet, indignantly waving her sword at the demon. "It was you, or am I incorrect? You were the one whose whispers tainted my ear, trying to tell me to let this era die and me with it,"

"That's correct. I do find it amusing that you desired so badly to continue to live. I almost considered saving you, but then I saw how pathetic you are. You're everything that our King despises wrapped up in a neat little package. No, he would have just destroyed you. You should be grateful to me for sparing you that fate,"

"It's good to know that you're just as pathetic as your voice implied," Altria spat. "However, there are two things that you seem to have forgotten. The first is that when a Servant dies, their body breaks down into Spiritrons,"

"Right, well," Lev blinked. "What?" Immediately, he looked down at the corpse of Cu Chulainn. The disemboweled Caster shot him a savage smile. "Screw you," he declared and sunk the last of his magic energy into the hasty runes he'd carved around Lev's feet. "Cage of Scorching, Consuming Flames: Wicker Man!"

A flaming wooden colossus erupted from the ground, its chest wrapping around and enclosing Lev within it.

"You, the man with the fluffy hair. How long until we can make good our escape?" Altria barked.

"She's right. Dr. Roman, we need an emergency Rayshift, now!" Nikki agreed.

"We're working on it!" the medical head frantically assured them.

"Just hold him off for sixty seconds and I can get you out!" Da Vinci hollered from off-screen.

"Sixty seconds? That's fine, Cu's got this -" Tyler's arrogance died in his throat as Lev seemed to explode into a mass of flesh, swelling and ripping the Wicker Man apart. Legs quickly merging and growing down to the ground as his clothes burst apart and eyes grew in spiralling rings around his body, he both slammed to the ground and grew up to the ceiling, bellowing in fury as the last traces of Wicker Man faded.

"Indulge my curiosity!" the monstrosity blared as the Masters screamed, "What's the second thing I've forgotten?"

Altria bared her teeth in a savage smile. "No one defeated Berserker,"

Suddenly, footsteps echoed around the cave, and the assembled heroes bore witness to the once-in-a-lifetime event that was a Demon God Pillar - not that they knew to call him such a thing - going white with fear.

A roar shook the cave as an eight-foot-tall goliath of shadowy muscle, armed with a man-sized club, erupted from the cave entrance and, with a wordless roar, took a flying leap across the room, slamming into Flauros like a cannonball and making him sway. As he did, the roof of the cave quivered, and dust and loose rocks started to fall.

"Thirty seconds!" Da Vinci yelled.

"Now then," Altria snapped her fingers, and something broke. She grabbed Nikki's hand, placing a hand over the three intertwined runes of her Command Seals. "Your will creates my body, and my sword creates your destiny. I swear myself to your service, Nikki, Master of Chaldea."

There was no reaction.

"Master?" Altria waved in front of her face, quirking an eyebrow.

has stopped functioning.

"Looks like 'suddenly Berserker' was a bit too much for her to process. Or maybe it was that guy turning into some kind of flesh tower. Don't worry, she'll get better," Astolfo assured her.

As they spoke, Berserker had latched onto Flauros by gouging out two of his eyes and using the sockets as footholds, while his club beat a rhythm against the Pillar's flesh. "What is this-" Flauros roared, only to be interrupted by a BONK.

"How dare you-" BONK.

"Who are you-" BONK.

"Cease this at-" BONK.

"I suddenly really want a Berserker," Tyler mused, watching the spectacle.

"Having severed my connection to the Grail, I can no longer command Berserker. Fortunately for us, he's very focused. Whichever one of them wins that fight, I expect that we now have a chance to make our escape. Without me controlling the Grail, this Singularity will begin to collapse at any moment, but the process will take at least an hour. If we're lucky, we won't ever have to deal with either of them," Altria clarified.

"But what about Cu?!" Tears welled up in Era's eyes as she gestured to the broken and forgotten body of the Caster that had contracted with her.

"Leave him, we cannot do anything for him at this juncture," Altria shook her head, refusing to meet the distressed eleven-year-old's gaze.

"He's still alive. The Rayshift should be bringing him back too, Dr. Roman can help patch him up," Nikki absently offered. "Da Vinci?!"

It looked like time had run out, as, with a flex that sent massive chunks of debris raining down around them, Flauros threw Berserker across the room and retargeted them. "You irritating trash! Die already!" he roared, energy condensing into a single point from all around him. "Incineration Ritual: Flauros!"The Time of Awakening Hath Come

"Emergency Rayshift, commencing!" Da Vinci's shrill voice yelled over him, and the world around the Masters and Servants seemed to fade away. Flashing lights danced in their vision, and everything went black.

X

For the second time, Nikki started awake, and looked around to find several unconscious people around her.

Fortunately, this time they were back in the large room at the centre of Chaldea, and Dr. Roman was rushing towards them, medical assistants in tow - two of which were already loading Mash onto a stretcher.

An idle part of her brain noted with amusement that upon returning to Chaldea, they'd somehow brought the shopping trolley with them.

Tyler screamed and sat up, looking around frantically. "I . . I'm okay. We're okay. Ohhhh, that was close, that was so close, we were literally just about to die!"

"Hey, hey, kid," Surprisingly, Sita was up and helping him to his feet, both hands on his shoulders and staring into his eyes. "It's okay. We're okay. We made it. We're alive and everything's going to be okay now. Okay?"

Numbly, the boy nodded. "O-okay,"

"Yeesh, so that was a Rayshift, huh?" Astolfo sat up and stretched.

Lily was doubled over and clutching her stomach. "I don't like it," she groaned.

"Ah, wasn't that bad! Like a rollercoaster! Let's do it again!" the Paladin cajoled her.

Altria, already on her feet, looked down at them disparagingly. "I don't know how it is I allowed myself to be bested by the likes of you. Hmm, allowed . . yes, that must be it. I must have let you win. My tenacity wavered at the last moment. That sounds good, I'll go with that,"

"You're full of crap," Nikki grumbled at her.

"G-guys?" Era's wavering voice drew everyone's attention as the youngest Master looked around. "W-where's Cu?"

It was at that moment that they realised not everyone had survived long enough to return to Chaldea.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4: Orleans . . Or Not

"Are you sure we can't keep them in medical observation for a couple of days?" Dr. Roman pressed as the surviving members of Chaldea, as well as their new recruits, assembled in the command room. "They Rayshifted with their bodies. Not the proper spirit only method we'd intended to use. There is no telling what kind of side effects that might have had,"

"I appreciate your concerns, Romani, but we don't have time. We are in a very bad situation, and we need to get on top of it." Olga-Marie asserted. With that, she swept into mission control, which had been mostly repaired thanks to Da Vinci's magecraft. "Is everyone here?"

"Mash is currently in a medically induced coma, and so is everyone who didn't just die in the explosions, including the other forty-five Master Candidates. But everyone who's awake and alive should be in this room. Raise your hand if you're not here?" Dr. Roman weakly joked.

The thirty-odd occupants of the room were silent, save for a stifled cough.

"Sheesh, tough crowd. Well, Director, begin whenever you're ready,"

"Right. Well, a certain rumour has been circulating, thanks to a couple of interns who couldn't keep their mouths shut. Tomlin, Octavia," Olga-Marie glared at the pair. "So I'm going to make this apparent to everyone; so far as we can tell, it is true. Whoever our enemy is, whatever might be the true identity of this King who was pulling that fake Lev's strings -"

"Are we certain that Lev was an impostor?" Da Vinci weighed in as Olga-Marie paused for breath. "He did say he'd been 'stringing you along for years', so -"

"He was fake!" Olga-Marie insisted. "But his words, so far as we can tell, were true. All attempts to communicate with the world outside Chaldea - even locations as physically close as the other facilities in Antarctica - have failed. The Near-Future Observation Lens SHEBA is unable to detect the presence of human life anywhere on Earth. The people here in this building are, to our knowledge, the only surviving humans remaining on the planet,"

Gasps and low murmurs ran around the room, several expressions contorting into panic.

"But we still have a chance! So far as we can tell, this destruction of humanity in fire has come about as a result of temporal distortion. This means that it can be reversed!"

The crowd quietened at her gesturing, and she continued. "To be quite frank, the details are over my head, but according to our resident genius Da Vinci, our enemy has done this by creating Singularities at certain points in history. We don't know how many of these there are, but SHEBA has already identified three of them. The first three Singularities that we have managed to lock onto are in Orleans, France, the year 1431, Rome in the year 64 AD, and the Pacific Ocean in the year 1577 AD,"

"Since I know most magi can't tell their dynasties from their dysentery," Da Vinci took over the narration, and pouted when no one laughed. "These are all crucial points in history. Orleans in 1431 was a key point in the Hundred Years War between Britain and France, when the Saint Jeanne d'Arc was executed. 64 AD was the Great Fire of Rome. Finally, 1577 was the year Francis Drake began his circumnavigation of the globe, the height of the Age of Exploration. Each of these events are quantum time-locked; they had major repercussions for the development of humanity, and make up necessary parts of the Foundation of Humanity. Our enemy has subverted these events, changing their outcome, and created Singularities around them as a result. Therefore, much like the Fuyuki Singularity, these new Singularities need to be resolved. That's where our Masters come in,"

All attention swivelled to Nikki, Tyler and Era, and the four Servants lounging around them. Tyler choked and coughed, quailing under the attention, while Nikki remained blasé and Era all but preened.

"Nikki and Tyler. No one wants to ask this of you when you're still recovering, but you're the best we have and you've already established successful contracts with Servants," Olga-Marie began. "You represent -"

"Hang on, why are you only talking to those two? What about me?" Era demanded.

"Era," Dr. Roman took over the conversation. "It's bad enough that we're asking a pair of college students to save the world. You're eleven. There is no possible way we're letting you go to another one of these dangerous Singularities,"

"I can handle it!" the young girl hotly protested. "I did fine in the first Singularity! Or at least just as well as those two did!"

"We don't need you to do this. Two Masters is enough," Olga-Marie interjected. "If we were to send you in, and something were to happen to you . . please don't make me responsible for the death of a child," she begged.

Something in her eyes must have gotten through to Era, because she faltered, and grumbled. "We'll see about that,"

"With that settled," Da Vinci declared, "we haven't been able to discern much about the Singularities, but it looks like the one that's most stable is Orleans. By 'stable', I mean that we can do a partial scan for strong magic signatures, and Orleans has the fewest of those, so relatively speaking we expect it to be the safest of the three Singularities. Which brings me to the mission briefing!"

"Ahem," Olga-Marie nudged her aside with an indignant look. "Yes, the mission briefing. Tyler, Nikki. Servants. We believe that each of these Singularities also has an aberrant Holy Grail within it that is sustaining the divergence from history. Presumably, they were planted there by Lev or his unknown co-conspirators. Naturally, your primary objective is to disable the Singularity by removing the Grail and returning it to Chaldea. Or destroying it. Whatever works. However, under the circumstances, we have a secondary objective!"

Everyone waited as she paused for effect, which was not something that Olga-Marie had wanted to happen. Out of the corner of her lips, she squeaked in falsetto, "What's that, Director?"

As though someone else had just spoken, Olga-Marie continued. "I'm glad you asked. With Mash Kyrielight out of commission, we have lost access to the catalyst we used for the initial summon until such a time as she wakes up and can re-manifest her shield. Which, apparently, is the Round Table. And anyone who can explain to me how that happened without my knowing about it will be getting a promotion!" she half-yelled, half-sobbed, and cast angry looks around the room as though daring someone to provide the answers she sought.

"The second objective?" Tyler prompted, stifling a cough.

"Yes! Right! Without Mash or any other catalysts, we are unable to summon any new Servants. But it is a known phenomenon that Rogue Servants will be summoned by the Counter Force in large-scale Singularities for the sake of helping to correct the distortions in history. Furthermore, the Holy Grails in the Singularities are highly likely to be being used by someone to summon Servants. And as if that wasn't enough, Da Vinci also theorises that the Counter Force, in response to a Holy Grail being used to summon Servants, might chain summon Rogue Servants to maintain some manner of cosmic balance,"

"Simply put, the worse things get, the more Servants will be sent in by the world to try to fix it," Da Vinci summarised, and Olga-Marie nodded at her, hiding her embarrassment over having wasted so many words.

"That sounds like a lot of Servants could pop up," Era guessed.

"Correct! So, your secondary objective is recruitment! If you get the opportunity, make contact and establish good relations with any stray Servants you encounter. Try to get them to agree to a contract with you. If we can recruit more Servants in Orleans, we can then bring them back here and have them lend their power to solving the other Singularities. Don't worry about energy cost, Chaldea's generators can handle it. Understand?"

"Yes ma'am," Nikki nodded.

"You got it!" Tyler agreed, then cleared his throat.

"This means you have to be nice," the former whispered to Altria.

"I shall do my utmost, but should some fool decide not to treat me with due respect, the consequences of their actions shall be on their own heads. If they still have them," the corrupted king retorted, arms folded. Nikki sighed and accepted that was the best she was going to get.

"Good. Well, if that's sorted, then -" Olga-Marie cut herself off as Tyler was overcome with another coughing fit.

"Ah, Tyler, my boy? Are you alright?" Dr. Roman fretted, rising from his seat and moving over to the Master.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. Just had a weird tickle in my throat since we got ba-a-achoo!" Tyler suddenly sneezed, which was fine on its own.

Less fine was the bright orange ball of flame that splattered across the metal ground, leaving a spray of sparks and embers at their feet.

The room fell silent.

". . did that fire just come out of me?" Tyler faintly whispered.

To Dr. Roman's credit, the head of the medical department recovered quickly. "Infirmary. Now!"

X

"Okay," Dr. Roman slid away from a terminal on his office chair and exhaled, rubbing his eyes. "I have figured out the problem,"

"Is this because of that fever I had before the Singularity? There aren't any fevers that make you breathe fire, right?" Tyler questioned.

"No, no, it's nothing like that. If I understand all this right - and I'm not confident I do - your little bout of flaming mucus is the result of three factors converging. The first, is that Noble Phantasm Georgios used on you. Or, should I say, that you let Georgios use on you, which was very irresponsible and I can't believe you were actually that stupid! It could have done anything to you! It did do this to you!" Dr. Roman snapped.

"R-right . . sorry, doc. He just looked like he needed it," Tyler apologetically offered.

"Just don't make a habit of it, okay . . still, that damn dragon slayer didn't explain his Noble Phantasm accurately. It didn't just manifest your spirit in the form of a dragon, it manifested your spirit and added the 'Dragon' quality to it temporarily. The key word there is 'temporarily', normally it should have worn off on its own after a day, with no adverse effects,"

"But," Tyler prompted.

"Factor numero two-oh!" Romani crowed, raising two fingers. "The Rayshift. There's a reason Rayshifting flesh is frowned upon, it basically takes you apart, transports you, and then puts you back together exactly as you were. Which is fine, if you're in a normal state of being, but you went and turned bits of yourself into 'dragon'. Thanks to the Rayshift, the reversion process that would have turned those bits of you human again has been . . what's the word I'm looking for . ."

"Delayed? Lengthened?" the Master guessed.

"Hm, no, I'd say 'cancelled'. Or if I was feeling especially dramatic, 'obliterated'. The reversion's just not happening anymore. The bits of you that became 'dragon' are gonna stay 'dragon', permanently. And we don't have any way of reversing the process. I honestly don't know if there's anything that canreverse the process,"

"So . . that's it? I'm stuck with a bit of dragon blood in me?"

"Yes, but it really shouldn't matter, and I don't understand why it's becoming a problem in the first place. If I rounded up, I could call you maybe two percent dragon? Definitely not enough to matter," Dr. Roman frowned. "You shouldn't even be capable of outputting the right kind of energy for these parts of you to not just go dormant. Shich leads me to the third factor. Something's fuelling you, making the dragon parts come alive, and I don't know what,"

"That's -" Tyler cut himself off, heading a sharp intake from Saber Lily, who'd been hovering at the edge of the room. "Lily?"

"It's my fault," she realised, guilt crossing her features.

Dr. Roman cast her a surprised look. "Elaborate?"

"Even like this, I'm still a version of Artoria Pendragon. My Saint Graph contains a Dragon Reactor Core," she explained.

"Are we supposed to know what that is?" Tyler asked

"It means I have a dragon's capacity for prana, rather than a human's, and as a side effect my magic energy is that of a dragon," Lily summarised. "Our contract isn't simply a one-way transferral of mana from you to me, it's much more than that. It sounds as though the dragon energy inside me is flowing, so to speak, back up towards you,"

"Huh. That would explain it, yeah," Dr. Roman agreed. He saw that the Master's row was still furrowed in confusion. "You know Pokémon, right? Think of it as all her magic is Dragon-Type," he summarised.

"You know Pokémon?" was Tyler's main takeaway from this, as he folded his arms and raised a knowing eyebrow.

"That's not relevant. Thanks to your contract, her Dragon-Type magic is bleeding back through to you. The dragon bits of you would normally remain dormant, but with her magic in your system, they're getting power that you shouldn't be able to give them and turning on,"

"I see. Is there a way to stop that?" Tyler questioned.

"Maybe. I'll ask Da Vinci to look into it. I mean, the obvious solution would be to break your contract with Lily, but we can't really afford that can we?"

"If I may, Master?" Lily's eyebrows inched upwards.

"Shoot,"

"I know this is probably out of line for me to suggest, but . . perhaps we shouldn't be looking for that sort of solution. Not just yet, at any rate,"

Tyler cast her a surprised but thoughtful look. Taking it as a cue, Lily kept talking. "It's just, that, with this new mission that we must embark on, I'm worried for your safety. I don't know that I'll be able to protect you, I . . can't help but doubt myself, after manifesting in this form," she mumbled, shame creeping into her tone. "Perhaps, if you learn to harness this strange gift . . it might be a useful ace in the hole,"

"Lily. So far, you're doing great. I have faith in you," Tyler assured her with a smile.

She didn't look convinced, but smiled nonetheless. "Thank you . ."

"Right. So, Dr. Roman, what do we know about what this is going to do to me?"

"I have no idea at all," Dr. Roman raised his hands defensively at the irritated look Tyler was shooting him. "What? You're one of maybe twenty people to ever Rayshift in the world, and considering we've never before seen Saint George as a Servant you're probably the only human ever to get hit with his Noble Phantasm. The data we would need to try to predict what'll happen just doesn't exist. Really, all we can do is monitor you and hope for the best,"

"I see," Dissatisfied but realising there was nothing more he could hope for, Tyler stood. "One last question. Can I still Rayshift to Orleans and help solve the Singularity?"

"As far as I can tell, there's no reason you shouldn't. At least, nothing I can put my finger on besides a general bad feeling," Dr. Roman admitted. "But there's something you should be forewarned about. The majority of the 'dragonisation', to coin a term, is in your spirit. The proper Rayshift procedure that we'll be using this time projects your spirit as a body into the Singularity, rather than sending your actual body there. For as long as you're in the Singularity, you might find the dragon bits are much more pronounced than they would be otherwise. What exactly that'll look like, though, I couldn't tell you,"

"Right. Well, thanks for the warning. I'll remember it if I find myself with a tail when I get there," he weakly joked.

"Heh. Well, the Director said she wanted you ready to Rayshift as soon as I could give you the all-clear, and nothing short of impending death would let her accept not giving you the all-clear. So, I'm not thrilled to say this, but go see if Da Vinci's ready for the next Rayshift yet," Dr. Roman instructed.

"Wait, we're going today? But we only just got back from Fuyuki, and," Tyler glanced at the clock. "Is it really only half past four?"

It was only seven and a half hours ago that Director Olga-Marie had been giving a briefing on the mission. Only six hours since he'd summoned Saber Lily. Only one since they'd gotten back from Fuyuki. Only twenty minutes since they'd confirmed that the world outside Chaldea no longer existed.

His life had turned entirely upside-down in less than a single nine-to-five shift.

"Ah. Yeah, that's a good point. It's been a long day already, everyone deserves some rest. The residential wing's just down the corridor, did you get a room assigned to you after all that?"

"Of course, I've been here since yesterday," he mumbled.

"Good, well how about you go find an unoccupied room for Lily out there to sleep in, then settle down and get some rest? I'll go talk to Olga-Marie and make up something about you needing to sleep off some medicine and not being ready to go until tomorrow, okay?"

Tyler blinked. "You'd really lie to your boss just so I can get some rest?"

"You're not the only one," Dr. Roman stifled a yawn. "Everything's been very stressful today and everyone's tired. The Director, though, is the sort of person who'll just keep beating her head against a brick wall until she collapses, and she expects everyone else to follow suit. This is half me using you as an excuse to get some downtime of my own. So don't feel too grateful or anything, okay?" He winked.

"Hah. You got it, doc. See you at dinner?"

"Oh, right, the excuse won't fly if you show up to the cafeteria tonight. Send Lily to bring you some grub, kay?"

"Ah, right. Got it," Tyler hesitated at the door and glanced at one of the other beds. "How's Mash?"

Dr. Roman winced. "Well, she's alive, thanks to you and the others, which is honestly amazing. As for when she'll wake up or if we can heal the damage to her legs? I've honestly no idea. All we can do is wait and hope,"

" . . I understand," With that, he left.

X

"Oh, uh, Era, can you stay a moment?" Olga-Marie asked as everyone left the briefing room.

"Yes, Director?" the young master grumpily asked, Sita hovering over her.

"You're the only reason I'm still alive," she admitted.

". . Huuuh?"

"It was that protective charm I took from you right before the bombs went off. Your big sister does good work, it completely protected me from the blast. I just, um, wanted to thank you. Even if you didn't really do anything," the Director refused to meet Era's eyes, scratching the back of her neck.

"Aww. You're welcome!" she beamed. "Does that mean you'll let me go to the Singularities?"

"Absolutely not!"

"I can do it, though! I can handle it! It's not like I'll be alone, Tyler and Nikki will protect me and so will Sita!" Era argued.

"That doesn't make it okay to send a child into a war zone!" Olga-Marie retorted.

"And what if there's no other choice?" Era quietly asked.

All the senior mage could say in response to this was; "Well, hopefully it won't come to that,"

X

Half an hour later, Nikki finally found her way back to her room - only to see Altria packing things into a box. "What are you doing?"

"I am disposing of the possessions of this Ophelia person, so that there is adequate space for my accomodations," the Servant easily replied.

"No, I mean, why are you in my room? Mine and Ophelia's room. Not yours!"

"Because Ophelia is indisposed indefinitely, and I desire to share accomodations with my Master. In the likely event that you should be attacked in your sleep, I shall be ready to defend you,"

"I don't think that's likely," Nikki frowned.

"Do you not? You're a Magus, you must be aware of how that world operates. Do you honestly disbelieve that anyone on staff would be unable to tell themselves something such as 'We've got two other Masters, it'll be fine if I kill one and take her Command Seals for myself. Once I've Servants of my own, I can just order them to kill anyone who speaks out against me',"

Nikki opened her mouth to object. Then she thought about it.

"You understand my point," Altria nodded after a moment with no counter, declaring the matter settled.

"But why you? Why not Astolfo? You know, my first Servant, who actually answered my summon?"

"Because if I recall correctly, in this era there are taboos about a boy and a girl sharing a room unless they're family or in a relationship," Altria pointed out.

"Yeah, but what does that have to do with Astolfo?" Nikki tilted her head in honest confusion.

Altria blinked. "You . . are aware that Astolfo is a man, yes?"

"No, she's - but -" She spluttered. "What?!"

X

Astolfo sneezed. "Someone must be talking about me. Also, not sure why but I feel like I should be doing something interesting right now,"

"Oi, stop daydreaming and help me set up the backup Coffins!" Da Vinci yelled at him.

"Right! Coming! Oh, by the by, I almost forgot but I kinda sorta need a new sword. You got any going spare?"

Da Vinci paused and considered the request. "I think there's something in storage that you might get some use out of,"

X

Altria looked disdainfully at the platter of food she'd been given by the kitchen staff. It was half past six, and the cafeteria had just opened for dinner. "This is insufficient ro satisfy me, in terms of both quality and quantity. The former I shall overlook, but I insist that you rectify the latter,"

"Sorry, but we don't serve seconds until everyone's been served," The chef, Cayenne, offered her an apologetic smile. "Especially because, if I remember right, Servants only need mana and eat recreationally, so I really shouldn't be giving you . ." She trailed off, taking in the furious storm of implied violence that lurked behind Altria's eyes.

Fifteen minutes later, Altria was just starting on her third helping of hamburger beef when Lily, carrying a tray, slid into the seat next to her. "We didn't really get a chance to talk, earlier," she coolly pointed out.

"If you would speak, then speak. But do not expect me to respond to you whilst I am eating," the older Saber told her.

"Very well then. This food is to be delivered to my Master, and I doubt that he would be pleased if I let it go cold, so I shall be brief," Lily primly assured her. "We are deploying tomorrow, together, and will be expected to fight side by side. I want to make sure that we have cleared the air, so to speak,"

"I have no objections to your nature, nor to your presence. You are me as I once was, that's all," Altria said without looking at her, taking another mouthful of food.

"Yes, but -" Lily stammered for a minute. "How can you be so matter-of-fact about this?"

The older Saber swallowed, and heaved out a sigh. "Look. Whatever issue you think exists between us? It's all in your head. You don't like what I have become . . no. It terrifies you to think that you could at some point become me," Her guess was rewarded with a flinch, and a smile tugged at her lips.

"I . . just . . I know what happened to you, and yet . ." Lily trailed off.

"Why should what happened to me affect you at all?" Altria turned the discourse on its head.

"Because . . at some point, you were me," Lily muttered.

"I never sat in the cafeteria of an observatory at the end of the world and talked to an older version of myself," she evenly retorted. "Our paths have diverged. Now, you are here, where I never was,"

"I . . just . ." Lily collected herself, thinking, and speaking. "I cannot understand how any version of myself could have become you,"

"Good. Maintain that state of affairs," Altria brusquely told her, taking another mouthful.

"What?"

For a long moment, she chewed, and then swallowed. "If you cannot imagine becoming me, then you will never become me," Altria finally assured her.

Lily's expression scrunched up. "That should be comforting, and yet . ."

"Do you still feel that you are inferior somehow as a Servant? Why?" Altria frowned, folding her arms. "You are a version of Artoria Pendragon yourself, are you not?"

"Well, yes, I am . . I know most of the things that happened to her - me - us," Lily corrected herself twice over, "during our lifetime. And yet, everything that happened after pulling the Sword of Selection from the stone . . It is as though I read it in a book. Or, more accurately, watched it in one of these movies that I've heard exist in this era. All of the accomplishments that Artoria Pendragon's legend consists of . . I'm not the person who did all that. An existence such as me should not be here, in place of the true version of me. It's," She paused, casting a glance at her altered self.

"Speak," Altria cajoled her. Her features softened, and she offered a smile. "Get it off your chest, as people say in this era,"

"Very well . . I don't know that I can live up to that responsibility. I don't doubt that things would be better for Chaldea if my adult self were here instead," Lily shook her head and sighed minutely. "I certainly don't feel as though I am the legendary hero who will stand at the vanguard of the forces who will save this world,"

"You're better suited for it than me," Altria told her with a grimace.

"How do you mean?"

"You don't understand what it means, to be an Alter, and I can hardly blame you. We Servants are manifestations of legends. To corrupt a Servant, you must corrupt their legend," She shook her head. "I failed. Everything that went right for Artoria Pendragon, went wrong for me. Mine is a fictional, hypothetical history of filth and failure, a story extrapolated from the endpoint that you see before you. All those traits that made her so incredible? None of them exist in me. Her feats of heroism and valour? Stricken from my record. They were the price I paid to continue living. An impossible choice . . and one that I can't help but regret when I look at you," she admitted in a low voice.

Biting her lip, Lily offered her a guilty, apologetic expression. "I'm sorry for judging you. It wasn't fair,"

"No. You were right," Altria shook her head. "I'm a pathetic wretch. A pale imitation. It wouldn't surprise me if it were my fault that you appeared in Fuyuki; the lingering traces of Artoria Pendragon that were purged from me serving as an intangible, invisible catalyst," She shook her head. "This isn't about me, though. You may not be the hero who will save the world . . but you can become her. You're the Artoria who is still in training? Then train. Learn. Grow strong. Become that hero,"

"You're right. I will," Lily offered a solemn nod, then smiled at her. "How could I not, with such a capable teacher here to guide me?"

The Alter nodded, then froze. "Hold on, what?"

Lily giggled. "Was that a casual speech pattern? So you can speak in a manner that's normal for this era!"

"The knowledge of the modern world that I received during my summoning is none of your concern, least of all how it might interfere with my decorum," Altria snorted.

"Personally, I think you'll find it easier to get along with people if you try to use modern speech patterns," Lily advised her.

"I don't see you doing anything of the sort,"

"No, but I make it sound cute," she asserted with the radiant smile of a perfect little girl for whom butter would not melt in her mouth.

". . I take your point, but what do you mean, teacher?" Altria pressed.

"Don't worry about it. I'll just learn by example," With that, she sauntered off, cheerily humming to herself.

Altria watched her go, refusing to admit to herself that she was stifling a smile. ". . Was I really like that at some point?"

X

The morning dawned bright and early, or so the clocks said. Naturally, the sky was as grey and overcast as it ever was in the Antarctic mountain ranges that surrounded the observatory of Chaldea.

Not that this meant anything to the haggard zombie that shambled into the cafeteria. "Braaaaain . . is asleep," Tyler mumbled, pawing at the counter. "Need coffee,"

Once he'd had his caffeine fix, the Masters converged in the Rayshift room, where the soft blue glow of CHALDEAS bathed the room in gentle warmth.

"Everyone!" Director Olga-Marie's voice broadcast over the speakers. "I'm happy to welcome you all back. We all know what we need to be doing. Nikki, Tyler. Astolfo, Lily, and, uh, Altria. Into the Coffins! Rayshift technicians, prepare the uplinks!"

The three command staff of Chaldea watched the people below busy themselves with the minutiae, and Dr. Roman watched the vitals come online one by one.

"Ready? Excellent! I declare that now that we are here, the First Order has officially ended and the Grand Orders have now begun!"

"The what?" Nikki's voice sounded from a terminal, transmitted from the Coffin, and Da Vinci hissed into a microphone; "It's something she made up because she thought it sounded cool and save-the-world-ish. If anyone asks, Fuyuki is now 'Singularity F',"

"Ahem! Is everyone ready?"

"Coffins, standing by," Dr. Roman reported.

"Coordinates locked on. Existence verification primed and ready," Da Vinci added.

"Good then!" Olga-Marie declared. "Let's save the world," With that, she hit the switch.

The computer's voice filled the air. "Unsummon Program, Start. Spiritron Conversion initiated in T-minus 60 seconds,"

Olga-Marie's lips twisted. "In sixty seconds, we will begin saving the world,"

For a moment, there was no sound save the impatient tapping of the director's foot.

"Spiritron Conversion initiated in T-minus 30 seconds,"

A shrill cry split the somber atmosphere. "Would you get on with it already?!"

Da Vinci surreptitiously accelerated the countdown.

"Rayshifting staring in 3, 2, 1. All procedures cleared. Grand Order, commencing operation,"

For the five Masters and Servants, everything went white. Astolfo whooped.

X

Tyler slammed into the ground, his face meeting the dirt. He slid down an incline, bounding off rocks and trees, before finally coming to rest in a bush.

He groaned in pain, and mumbled, "It's too early for this,"

Something poked his ass. "Boy, stand up," the familiar voice of Altria demanded.

Tyler struggled to his feet, and suddenly Dr. Roman's warning about the draconic corruption of his spirit being made manifest in the Singularities flashed back to his mind. With a cold sweat running down his back, he looked himself over. As far as he could tell, his body was normal. "Uh, Altria? Does any part of my body look dragon-like to you?"

"No, you appear to me to be entirely human. If this is about the dragonic contamination, you oughtn't concern yourself. If it happens, then it happens, but it has not so presumably it shall not. Now, where are the remainder of our allies?" Altria looked around, and as if on cue a distant thump echoed through the trees.

"Ow," Lily mumbled. "Why did we all appear in mid-air?" she complained, sitting up as Tyler and Altria emerged from the trees to join her.

"I want to ask the fluffy-haired man about that myself," Altria grumbled.

"I mean appearing in mid-air rather than fused with the ground is probably safer. But still. We're working for an organisation of wizards, surely we can find some flying broomsticks or something if this is gonna be a thing," Tyler grumbled, poking his communicator.

On cue, it flickered to life. "Stop reading trash like Harry Potter, no self-respecting magus has called them self a witch or wizard in centuries. And I don't even know where that stupid idea about flying broomsticks came from, anyway. It isn't a real thing!" Olga-Marie snapped.

"Yes, Director. Sorry, Director," Tyler bowed in apology.

X

On the other side of the screen, Olga-Marie smiled. "Good, you can learn. Now, what's the situation? How do things look in France?"

"Well, nothing's on fire that we can tell," Tyler's voice came through. "We're in a forest. It's a pretty mundane forest. Also, it's just me, Lily and Altria. We're missing two,"

"Actually, that's a bigger problem than you realise. I'm picking up Tyler just fine, but I'm not getting a signal from Nikki at all." Dr. Roman frowned, looking over his instruments. "Damnit! Where is she?"

"Ah. Romani? Over here," Da Vinci beckoned him to another screen, which he slid over to.

His eyes boggled in disbelief. "Did she - but - how? I know she has a poor sense of direction, but . . how?!"

X

Nikki landed with a splash.

For the briefest second she cursed Dr. Roman for not warning her that she would be Rayshifting into water, then refocused on staying afloat.

"Here, Master, grab on!" Astolfo yelled, and the Hippogriff's foreleg reached down for her to cling onto. Holding on for dear life as the griffin lifted her out of the water, Nikki coughed up salty foam as Astolfo pulled her into the saddle to join him.

It was at that point that she looked around and realised this was not a river, nor a lake, but a seemingly endless ocean.

Her Mystic Code's hologram flickered to life, and Dr. Roman appeared. "Nikki! I don't know how or why, but it looks like you, somehow, Rayshifted to the wrong Singularity!"

Staring out at the oceans of Okeanos, Nikki could only scream a string of words that would have to be redacted from the logs.

Chapter Text

"What do you mean, my Master's in another Singularity?" Altria snapped at the communicator.

Her only response was a hysteric "I don't know how this happened either!"

"Okay, well, Rayshift her back. Second time's the charm, yeah?" Tyler suggested.

"I'm, uh, afraid it's not that simple," Dr. Roman shook his head. "There's some kind of interference going on in both Singularities. It's similar to what we detected in Singularity F from the Fuyuki Grail, but different. Trying to Rayshift either of you back before you find and disable the Grail could be fatal,"

"So, we can enter Singularities, but we can't leave them?" Nikki's voice yelled from the other terminal.

"It seems like that's how it works," Da Vinci's smooth, serene tone grated on her nerves.

"So this was a trap?" the blue-haired Master snapped.

"I hate to admit it, but it does demonstrate some strategic acumen on our enemies' part. In theory, we could have just Rayshifted you back to Chaldea if you were in a bind with no options, like we did to get you out of Fuyu - uh, Singularity F," Dr. Roman thought aloud. ". . Wait, hang on,"

As he spoke, a tick mark sprouted on Olga-Marie's brow. "Stop giving our enemies so much credit!"

"No, Director," Dr. Roman started. "I just realised. This isn't a coincidence! This has to be a reaction to how we saved the Masters from Singularity F!"

"But the only way that's possible is if our enemies are learning and adapting to what we do," Da Vinci pointed out, brows furrowed as she reached the logical conclusion. "But that shouldn't be possible, since Lev died in Singularity F. Unless he didn't,"

"Which means the fake Lev somehow survived and escaped," Olga-Marie sussed out with a groan. "Well, that's just perfect!"

In Okeanos, Nikki listened to this and cursed. "Do you think they interfered with the Rayshift, somehow, then?"

"No, I think your sense of direction is just that bad," Dr. Roman winced.

"I am not usually like this," Nikki mulishly murmured through gritted teeth, fists balled up.

"Ma-chan, maybe I should handle the navigation from now on," Astolfo interrupted

Nikki fumed, but couldn't object.

X

"You all seem to have forgotten, but there is another issue that must be addressed," Altria interjected. "My contract is with Nikki, not you," she told Tyler.

"So I can't use my Command Spells on you?" Tyler gingerly touched the red shapes on his hand. Chaldea's system had refreshed the one he'd used on Lily to kill the shadow Lancer in Fuyuki, which he was certain would be useful at some point.

"If anything, that is an unexpected boon," Altria snorted. "My point is as follows. Without the presence of my Master, or more specifically her Mystic Code channeling power from Chaldea's generators to sustain me, I have a finite amount of energy with which to sustain my existence. At an estimate, I only have enough stored power for maybe eleven days. And should the situation mandate the release of my Noble Phantasm, that span will shorten,"

"So we're on the clock, too? Brilliant," the Master groaned to himself. "Wait, can't you just break your contract with Nikki and make a new one with me?"

"Do you think my honour to be so fickle and flimsy that I'll abandon my Master as soon as it's convenient?" Altria snapped.

Guilt flashed across Tyler's face, and Saber Lily revised her estimation of her evil self upwards. "So you still have some pride after all? Good, I'd hate to think that any version of myself, even one like you, would be so honourless,"

"And just what exactly do you mean by that?" An angry gleam lit up Altria's yellow eyes, her fists balled.

"How about we get moving?!" Tyler hastily put himself between the two Sabers to head off the argument. "If we're on the clock, we can't afford to wait around talking. Dr. Roman, where are we? Where's the nearest city?"

"You are," Dr. Roman paused for a moment. "Huh. You are right near Paris,"

"Oh, the city of love? That's nice. Maybe we should go sightseeing," Tyler half-jokingly snorted.

"Start heading east. I'm detecting a couple of magical energy signatures not too far from you. I'm almost certain that they're Servants," At the doctor's recommendation, they started walking.

X

It wasn't long until Tyler and the two Sabers emerged from the trees onto an open plain.

Before them lay a battlefield.

Soldiers clashed left and right, corpses in red, blue and black decorating the battlefield. An uncomfortable lump swelled in Tyler's throat, but he resisted the urge to look away; he'd known what he was getting into, that this was a point in European history where England and France were at war.

It was one thing to read about war in history books, but here, before his eyes, hundreds, thousands of people were dying. He could see swords and spears clashing, soldiers of both sides falling at each other's hands, red stains of people's lifeblood seeping into the ground.

And then there were the dragons.

The army to the south had as its rear guard an unconscionably massive black drake, a creature that would put any plane he'd ever seen to shame. Its scales were as black as the night, and ridges of small spiked encrusted its head and back. Solid white eyes with no pupil or Iris stared down at the forces beneath it, and as he watched it unleashed a wave of orange fire that scattered the energy forces in their haste to escape being burnt alive. On its back, he could see a woman with bleached blonde hair, dressed in a black armoured gown, waving a flag back and forth.

Every few moments, a smaller wyvern in green or black, perhaps twice the size of a human, would fizzle into existence from a flicker in the air, and fly north to add to the forces that were decimating the army to the north. Tyler couldn't help but frown. Was the dragon summoning more of its kind as reinforcements?

"Master. Look. I see three Servants," Having already noticed the dragon rider, Saber Lily drew his attention to the very centre of the battlefield.

Straining his eyes, Tyler saw two figures that stood out against the monotonous liveries of the clashing armies. One was dancing around, wearing bright baby blue finery and a wide, foppish hat with a feather protruding from it, wielding a dancing line of silver light that he could only assume to be a rapier. It was beating ineffectually against the guard of a figure in black armour, who seemed to be almost cloaked in black mist with a glowing red line for a visor shining through. They were surrounded by broken weapons, and as they watched the black knight snatched up another weapon from a dead soldier and immediately broke it over the the rapier-wielder's head.

"I recognise that armour!" Saber Lily exclaimed, and suddenly took off, racing into the battlefield.

Tyler owlishly blinked after her. "What? Hey! Don't just run off!"

"It is incredibly infuriating that she acts as though she is of greater fibre than me and yet remains so impulsive. The arrogance of youth . . Come, we must catch up," Altria snapped. The next thing the young Master knew, a gauntleted hand was wrapped around his waist, his feet left the ground, and Altria was dragging him along as she chased after the younger incarnation of herself.

X

"Land ho, Master!" Astolfo cheered.

"Already? Maybe this ocean's not as big as I thought," Nikki mused. As they approached the shore, a seaside town came into view. It was rickety, with buildings seemed to be made out of shipwrecks and driftwood, encrusted with barnacles and curtains woven from seaweed. For all that, it was bustling, a colourful assortment of brigands and ne'er-do-wells filling the streets, and even from their elevated position they could already hear an endless drone of friendly and not-so-friendly conversation.

Astolfo brought the Hippogriff down to land on the Docks, which garnered no small amount of attention. Curious people crowded around them as the mount vanished into Spiritrons, depositing Servant and Master onto the dock.

"A Servant!" someone recognised the phenomena for what it was. "There's a Servant? Here?" "What do they want?" "Someone get the mayor!"

Nikki scoured the crowd that was rapidly gathering at the edge of the dock, and - to her consternation - blocking their way into the town. "Looks like they have experience with Servants around here. Oi, you rabble! Does anyone care to answer some questions?"

The crowd shuffled uncertainly, but no one stepped forward.

"Well that was helpful . ." Nikki groused.

"Should I summon Hippogriff again? We could fly over them," Astolfo offered.

"That shan't be necessary!" With a flash of light, a Servant manifested before them, emerging from Spirit Form and offering them an affable smile. He was tall and dark-skinned, with curly black hair, wearing a slightly tattered dress outfit in black, red and white.

"And who might you be?"

"Just the mayor of this little town, taking care of all the miserable miscreants that wash up here in Okeanos. I'm charmed to meet you, my lady, and would be honoured if you knew me as Bartholomew Roberts,"

"Never heard of you," Nikki admitted, tapping her communicator. "Dr. Roman, do we know the name?"

"He's a so-called honourable pirate. If you've ever heard of the Pirate's Code, he's the guy who wrote it," their medical head turned Mission Control summarised.

"That does pretty much cover it," Bartholomew's smile didn't waver. "I'm thrilled to have such illustrious patronage as a Master here, though, you should be aware that there is a dress code for gorgeous ladies such as yourselves. Would you mind undoing your hair and adjusting it to cover one eye?"

Nikki blinked, thrown off kilter by the absurdity of the request.

"Fine with me," Astolfo winked playfully, fiddling with his hair until his bangs covered one of his eyes.

Bartholomew seemed to almost swoon. "Ah, how charming!" he praised. "There is no greater expression of beauty than hidden eyes!"

Nikki hesitated, and then saw the gleeful, almost perverted smile that crossed their host's face. "Servant or no, I'm not taking orders from anyone smiling at me like that," she folded her arms. "Look, I'm Nikki, this is Astolfo, my Servant. We're from Chaldea, the Organisation for the Preservation of Humanity, and we've come to investigate this Singularity. Our goal is to restore the damage it's doing to Proper Human History,"

Bartholomew looked a bit put out, but nodded. "And I'll be happy to help with that in any way I can. Unfortunately, I think the most I can do is put you in touch with someone a bit more capable. If you'll come with me, I'll introduce you," he beckoned, and with a gesture the crowd parted enough to let the two Chaldeans escape in his wake.

Under Roberts' guidance, the group headed into town, and the interior of the shantytown was just how Nikki had expected from above.

She had not, however, expected the smell.

"What do you people eat around here?" she groaned, pinching her nose and closing her eyes.

"Ah, well. We're pirates, see. We don't have much in the way of sanitation, unfortunately. But we're surviving, so we don't complain. Speaking of survival, you two understand that sometimes, we have to do things we don't really want to, right?"

"I feel like this is a lead-in to something bad, but yes," Nikki nodded, still more focused on the smell than anything else as Bartholomew took a right turn into a shadowy area of the shantytown.

"So, you see, there's this goddess, and she's quite insistent that if I run into any Servants I need to deliver them to her, one way or another. And she's so beautiful that I really can't bear to say no to her. So," Bartholomew snapped his fingers, and a mob of pirates emerged from the shadows, forming a ring, and he turned around. "This is an ambush! Surrender peacefully and you won't . . what?"

Astolfo looked around, following his gaze but finding nothing. "Is something the matter?"

"Where'd your Master go?" the pirate Servant demanded.

"Oh! She got lost on the way to your ambush. It happens all the time, really, you get used to it. I'm sure she's around somewhere,"

"What? But - how does that even . ." Bartholomew squinted at the pinkette. "You're being awfully blasé about this?"

"Well, I am one of the Twelve Paladins of Charlemagne. You have to get used to stuff like this in that line of work," Astolfo nonchalantly shrugged, pushing his hair back out of his eyes (to a moan of disappointment from Bartholomew) pulling out the new sword that Da Vinci had created for him. "Really, this is just another Tuesday for me. Now! You said this was an ambush?" He offered a feral grin in turn. "I haven't had a good, satisfying fight in days! So let's see what you've got!"

X

Meanwhile, Nikki was frantically casting around the suddenly-empty streets for any trace of the two Riders. "Damnit! Why does this keep happening to me?!"

X

The battle parted around the two Sabers, their Master rushing to follow in their wake. Soldiers of both sides recognised the fury and power of the two variants of the King of Knights, and cleared their path, leaving a temporary break in the fighting around them. Within moments, Tyler and Altria were backing up Lily, whose interjection into the fight seemed to have turned it into a three-way stand-off.

"And who might you be?" the battered nobility Servant challenged. "More Servants of the British?"

"Actually, we're Welsh, but I suppose the difference is somewhat academic," Altria mused.

Lily, though, only had eyes for the dark knight. "Lancelot!" she cajoled, raising her sword. "Do you recognise me?"

Slow, heavy breathing was her only response.

"Lancelot?" she repeated. ". . You've manifested as a Berserker, haven't you?"

"Hi," Tyler panted. "Lemme . . catch my breath," He straightened, and flinched away from the rapier that the blonde and aristocratic Servant was pointing at him. "We're from Chaldea! We just got here and don't know what's going on! We're not looking to fight!" Tyler raised his hands, showing that he was unarmed and gesturing to his Command Seals. "Who are you? Why is there a battle going on here?" He paused, and mentally kicked himself. Why is there a battle - he'd time travelled to the Hundred Years War, why wouldn't there be a battle?

"I am Chevalier d'Eon, Saber. A humble servant of France, in life and in death," d'Eon raised their rapier and looked back at Lancelot. "We fight because the British have taken Paris, and Jeanne d'Arc had decreed that they shall be ejected from France!"

"Jeanne d'Arc?" Tyler parroted in disbelief. "Hang on, isn't she supposed to be dead at this point in time?"

d'Eon just shot him a look that reminded him of a teacher addressing a particularly obstinate child. "We're Servants,"

". . . right, of course," he conceded the point.

"Hold on!" The communicator flared to life, and Dr. Roman glared at all of them. "This is twenty years too early! Sure, the French are supposed to win the war and push the British out of France, but not until the year 1450! I know it doesn't sound like much, but the French shouldn't be winning this fight, Servants or no!"

A frown crossed d'Eon's face. "If you would stand against French victory, then you are my enemy," they declared.

"If you mean that as a challenge," Altria snorted, pulling out Excalibur. "I'll happily take you up on it,"

As she did, though, Lancelot, who had been studiously ignoring Lily's attempts to cajole him in the background, turned his head and locked on to the black sword, an angry red gleam in his visor. "Ex . ." he growled.

The malice in the syllable drew everyone's attention from the impending French/Chaldea conflict, as, after a moment of mental struggle, Lancelot finished. ". . calibur,"

"Lancelot, I had thought that you knew better than to interrupt your king?" Altria snapped.

A roar that would shame a freight train built in the base of Lancelot's throat, and some kind of tentacle shot out of his back and into the fray of battle around them, ripped a sword out of an unfortunate soldier's hand and delivered it into his own grip. "ARTHUR!" he bellowed, taking off from a standstill and leaping into the air, sword up and descending on Altria like divine punishment.

"Whoa!" Altria cursed and rolled out of the way, sliding behind him as he landed and going in for a strike to his back - only for the shockwave generated as he hit the ground to knock her back and cause her to stumble.

"I don't think he's on our side!" Tyler shrieked and back-pedalled, Lily moving to his defence as Lancelot picked himself up and started swinging at Altria again.

"Lancelot! This isn't you! The Madness Enhancement is affecting you! Fight it!" Lily pleaded.

A crushing blow from a blackened sword knocked Excalibur aside, and in her weakened condition Altria couldn't react in time. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the Berserker's off hand going in for a crippling blow - only to bounce off a thin blade that defended her.

"Suddenly, you're aiding us? When you were ready to attack us not a moment ago?" she accused d'Eon, who nonchalantly shrugged.

"That was when I thought you were on his side," they clarified. "You know what they say about the enemy of my enemy. At the very least, I expect Lady Jeanne will wish to talk to you, so I can't have you dying before then!"

"Fine by me!" Recovering her stance, Altria brought her sword around for a crushing blow of her own into Lancelot's hip. Another tentacle shot out of his back and latched onto the blade like a leech, and she cursed and yanked it back.

"Okay, why does Lancelot have eels or something growing out of his back?" Tyler demanded, staring in disbelief.

"It's a manifestation of his Noble Phantasm, Knight of Owner. Anything he grabs onto with those tentacles becomes a vessel for his Noble Phantasm," Lily explained, then frowned. "I . . I don't know how I know that. Why do I know that?"

"It matters not!" Altria snapped, wheeling around as Berserker focused on her, only for d'Eon to leap over him and strike at the back of his neck. "It simply means that it's no use trying to disarm him!"

With a roar, the knight's tentacles batted at d'Eon, Lancelot easily splitting his focus to engage Altria from the front and d'Eon from behind.

The exchange continued for a few minutes, but Lancelot's guard proved to be too perfect and few, if any strikes made it through. Eventually, D'Eon skirted around and rejoined Altria before him, whom the Berserker was still single-mindedly fixated on. "If I set him up, can you hit him hard enough to take him down?"

"I am unable to use my Noble Phantasm right now. We shall have to count on hers," Altria gestured with her chin at Lily.

"That is acceptable! Saber, prepare your sword!" d'Eon yelled, and Lily nodded

With a flourish, d'Eon raised their blade and lowered their head, the world around them growing dark as all light seemed to concentrate on the Saber. "Sword Dance of Falling Lillies: Fleur de Lys!"

As they twirled in place, spinning their sword in the air, buds of light floated off the sword and hung in the air around the battlefield like snow. d'Eon stopped in place when they were facing Lancelot and gently thrust their sword in his direction, where the tip sprouted a white lily in full bloom. It floated into the air as the other buds sprouted into celestial carnations of their own, soft light washing over Lancelot as he slowed and stumbled, gazing at the display in awe.

"Right," Lily raised her own sword and it flashed with golden light. "Master? May I?"

"Whenever you're ready," Tyler confirmed.

"Cali-"Golden Swo-

"I do believe that to be quite enough!" An unfamiliar voice interrupted the battle. Lancelot started and growled, but still turned to pay attention to the unknown speaker, as did everyone else.

"Berserker, this fight is lost. Come, we shall win nothing by continuing to engage," the man said. He had orange hair and an elegantly trimmed beard, wearing a green three-piece suit. The rail-thin man calmly strode through the carnage without even a hint of blood touching his suit.

Tyler and Lily backed away. "And who are you?" the Master challenged.

"Who might I be, you ask? 'Tis obvious!" the strange Servant crowed, speaking in a strange, harmonic inflection . "Can't you tell by my use of the iamb?"

"Iamb? I know that word," Tyler mused, thinking furiously. "As in, iambic? Tenth-grade literature class. Iambic pentameter?"

"I see! You are a well-read Master then?" The man continued to speak in that strange one-two, one-two cadence. "How wonderful to meet one of my fans!"

"Fans. Tenth-grade literature was all about the Shakespearean plays, which were all written in that awful iambic nonsense . . you're Willian Shakespeare?"

"Indeed! 'Tis true, 'tis I, playwright of -" Shakespeare cut himself off and spluttered. "What do you mean, awful?!"

"Such a false affectation, that he breaks it so easily," Altria observed with a wry smile.

"I had to write essays about you and your miserable tragedies!" Tyler snapped. "What the hell was the deal with Macbeth, anyway? He was pathetic!"

"It was a tragedy!" Shakespeare snapped back. "It was art! It resonated with the audience of the seventeenth century!"

"Oh, so it's a period piece, then?"

"No!" the writer yelled.

"As . . riveting as this is," Lily interjected, since it looked like Master and author were about to come to blows, "why are you here, Shakespeare? Are you pulling Lancelot's strings?"

"Very astute, miniature king of knights," Tyler fumed; he was speaking in iambic pentameter again. "But now, alas, Lancelot and I must leave! Berserker, come with me, the king awaits!"

"And what makes you think we'll just let the two of you go?" Altria challenged, brandishing Excalibur. It was an empty threat, but the Caster didn't know that.

"Well, I'm afraid that you don't have a choice!" Shakespeare snorted. "To reach me, you must best my (When the Curtain Rises, the Applause Shall Be As Ten Thousand Thunders:) First Folio!"

"No!" Lily yelled, charging, but it was too late. The world around them rippled and went dark, and Tyler was alone.

No, that wasn't true. He was . . back in high school.

There were people around him as he went to his locker, earbuds nestled in his ears but playing no music.

"I remember this," the Master muttered, glancing around and recognising the classroom. "This was Year Eight, five years ago. I was fourteen,"

He paid the world around him no heed even as everyone watched him. "What a weirdo," someone muttered. "Loser," another whispered. "He never talks to anyone," someone remarked. "Did you hear he got called to the year coordinator's office? What was that about?"

Tyler walked on, even as his shoulders grew heavier and heavier from the weight of the words being layered upon him.

The scene flickered, momentarily fading into static, and then he was approaching his locker again, earbuds emitting no sound.

"What a weirdo," "Loser," "He never talks to anyone,"

At a different locker, in a different classroom, during a different year, the scene repeated.

"What a weirdo," "Loser," "He never talks to anyone,"

The scene repeated, save for one key difference; the boy's shoulders got heavier and heavier.

"What a weirdo," "Loser," "He never talks to anyone,"

"What a weirdo," "Loser," "He never talks to anyone,"

"What a weirdo," "Loser," "He never talks to anyone,"

"What a weirdo," "Loser," "He never talks to anyone,"

"Weirdo," "Loser," "He never-"

"Shut up!" Tyler screamed, tears escaping his eyes, "Why should I talk to any of you when not a single one of you has anything worth saying?!"

He fell to his knees, eyes screwed shut. "You're all pointless. Transient. You'll all smile and nod and pretend to care, and forget about me as soon as you turn your backs!" he bellowed, heaving out ragged breaths.

He shook his head. "This isn't even real. No one ever said those words!" but he knew they'd been thinking them.

"Why am I seeing this?!" he challenged the world around them. "What's the point? They're all gone, they all forgot about me - and they're all gone for real, too! Burnt to ashes!"

"What a weirdo," "Loser," "He never talks to anyone,"

He sobbed as misery and loneliness spiralled around him in an unending cycle of regret and despair. "All . . all I ever wanted is one person,"

"Weirdo," "Loser," Never talks,"

"J-just one. One person who'll care about me without judging me,"

"Loser!" "Never!"

". . is that so much to ask?"

He didn't know how long he kneeled there and wept, but eventually he looked up as Lily shook his arm. "Master? Master, wake up!"

". . Lily?"

"You're back!" Dr. Roman yelled in relief from the hologram on his wrist. "He's back! Oh thank the Root!" Olga-Marie practically sobbed.

"W-what happened?" he mumbled. Distantly, he noticed that the battle around him had died down. It looked like it was a French victory.

Surprisingly, d'Eon of all people took his shoulder and hoisted him up. "That was First Folio. Shakespeare's Noble Phantasm. One of the cruelest, nastiest effects I've ever seen. It traps everyone hit with it in a waking nightmare of their worst memories and most deep-seated regrets,"

Tyler swallowed. "I-I see," He looked around, and saw Altria crouched into a ball, shivering violently. "Is . . is she?"

"We haven't been able to wake her up yet," Lily explained. "It's been half an hour. I managed to break free fairly quickly - advantages of youth, most of the things that Artoria Pendragon regrets haven't actually happened to me yet - but you were in deep,"

Tyler pursed his lips and looked away. "Right," He steadied himself, pushing d'Eon away. "I guess Lancelot and the worst writer escaped?"

"They're gone," d'Eon, still shaken, confirmed. "The fight's over,"

"I want to celebrate, but I'd hesitate to call this a victory," Lily grimaced, then paused. "Master. Someone's coming,"

"So! You all are the ones who rescued d'Eon, are you?" Striding towards them was a woman, who looked surprisingly similar to Altria. The same platinum blonde hair, the same pale skin, the same piercing yellow eyes, even her armour followed a similar dark colour scheme, though without the visible traces of red corruption that encrusted parts of her body. The armour style was different, though, and she wore an M-shaped plate of black metal on her forehead that wrapped around her eyes. Most notably, she held high a massive flagpole, from which a seven-foot-long white banner with black trim flew proud.

"And who might you be?" Lily questioned, shifting position so that she was between the newcomer and the prone Master and Saber Alter, even as d'Eon fell to one knee.

"You can't spare me any pleasantries?" the newcomer asked with a smile. "Very well then. Servant, Ruler. My True Name is Jeanne d'Arc,"

Chapter Text

". . Ah. Well. It's a pleasure to meet you," Tyler bowed his head. "We are from the Chaldea Security Organisation, the Organisation for the Preservation of Humanity. We've come to recover the Holy Grail that was planted in this period to create this Singularity,"

"Really, have you now," Jeanne pursed her lips, but nodded. "I'm afraid I don't know anything about the location of a Holy Grail, but I'm not opposed to aiding you in your search. If, that is, you aid us in our cause while you're here,"

"And your cause is removing the British occupation from France?" Lily asked.

"That's correct,"

"Why, though?" Lily pressed. "This is a Singularity. A divergence from Proper Human History. Nothing that happens here matters, it isn't going to change what happened. There's no point,"

"I know that!" Jeanne snapped. She paused, taking a moment to steady herself, her grip momentarily tightening on her spear. She repeated, "I know that. I know that this time and this place is an aberration, that should not exist and soon never will have existed. Maybe if I had the Grail, its power could warp history and enforce these events on the true timeline of this world, but I don't so it's a moot point. But . . but I have regrets, alright?"

"And would you care to tell us what exactly it is that you regret?" Everyone turned to see Altria staggering up to them on unsteady legs. "Is it dying? Is it that that you were killed by the British? Is this all for the sake of revenge?"

"No," Jeanne calmly shook her head. "I would happily lay down my life for the cause I believed in. I did. My only regret . . is that I failed,"

Two pairs of baleful yellow eyes met, and as he watched the standoff, Tyler was struck by the fact that Altria and Jeanne looked almost identical to one another. The only real differences were in their in headgear, and the black corruption that encrusted the skin on Altria's made a mental note to look into whether Jeanne d'Arc was somehow descended from King Arthur.

"I failed to take back France, and I failed to obey the voice of God when he commanded me to free my nation from the British. I was defeated, I was captured, and I was burned," Jeanne sighed. "And look at me now. Look at this outfit, black as coal, and this hair, as pale as ash. I lost something in that fire, and I don't know what it is or if I can get it back. And then there's the fact that I can no longer hear the voice of God,"

"You are a Servant. That's somewhat to be expected," Lily pointed out.

"That's possible. Who knows? I've never been without His guidance before. Maybe it's just that I don't know what to do with myself, except to keep fighting, like I always have," Jeanne rounded on Altria once again. "You might be right. It doesn't matter. No matter how things go, the outcome will have never happened. But I have a chance here and now to resolve the greatest regret of my existence as a Heroic Spirit, so I'm going to take it. Maybe then, when I return to the Throne, I can rest peacefully until the next time I'm summoned,"

Silence followed her declaration.

"Besides, if you're searching for a Holy Grail, helping us is in your own best interest. Me and d'Eon here, as well as a couple of other strays we've picked up, are rogue Servants. We just popped up, manifested here by the Counter Force. But the British seem to have a bunch of Servants on their side, and we also don't know where they keep getting them. If they have a Holy Grail and are using it to summon their own army of Servants, that would explain a lot," Jeanne added.

"I see. Well, alright then. Lily, Altria, how do you two feel about this? Joining the French to defeat the British?" Tyler checked.

"You're the Master! Don't ask your Servants' opinions! It's obvious what you should do either way!" Olga-Marie yelled, and the Master ignored her.

"The means at my disposal are limited by circumstance. However, I have accepted a responsibility as a Servant of Chaldea. I suppose circumstances mandate that I allow you to direct me in battle, for the time being," Altria shrugged at him.

"I'm . . admittedly not thrilled. But we're fighting to save the world here. I can't in good conscience object simply because we might end up fighting a former friend of mine. Frankly, life as a Servant makes that all but inevitable regardless," Lily admitted. "I'm with you, Master,"

"Great!" Jeanne beamed, then paused, and her smile became more reserved. Altria's eyes narrowed suspiciously at the very artificial shift in demeanour, but didn't speak up. "I'm relieved that that's settled. Come with me, I'll take you back to our camp. The British have fallen back, and now they're holed up in Paris. I believe it's going to turn into a siege. I'll introduce you to my other allies, and we can strategise," she invited them, and suddenly the massive black dragon that Tyler had seen before landed behind her.

As the natural reaction to the sudden appearance of a dragon, Tyler yelped and scrambled backwards, both Sabers leaping in front of him and drawing their swords.

"What's wrong? Is something the matter?" Jeanne turned and frowned, half expecting an enemy but seeing only the dragon.

It took a second, but the penny dropped. "Oh! Ohhh, right. My apologies," The amused smile on her face made the apology seem somewhat insincere. "Everyone, I'd like to introduce you to my closest ally and a good friend of mine. The Heroic Spirit, Fafnir!"

X

"Yoooooo, Master! There you are!"

Nikki started, turning to see Astolfo dragging an unconscious pirate behind him. "Oh, there you are! Sorry about that,"

"It's fine, you're all good," the paladin assured her. "Anyway, this guy turned out to be a flake. He said something about capturing us as a gift to his goddess?"

"Goddess? Why would there be a goddess in the sixteenth century?" Nikki questioned. "Wait, no. Holy Grail War rules. Why wouldn't there be a goddess?"

"Zactly! Hey, Roman! Can you do a scan?" Astolfo yelled at the Master's wrist, which flickered to life and presented a horizontal Mona Lisa.

"Dr. Roman's currently fretting over our little wannabe dragon, so I hope I'll suffice - wait, why is everything sideways? Keep the camera level when you're talking to me!" Da Vinci demanded in a petulant tone, her omnipresent serene smile turning into a taut grimace.

Nikki hastily corrected her posture, and the Caster nodded. "Better. No, I'm not reading any Divine Spirit patterns. This goddess must be on a different island. I am pinging another Spirit Origin in your vicinity, though. Very close, too! Just a hundred metres to your northeast!"

Nikki obligingly turned and started walking. "No, no, that's southeast," Da Vinci told her.

Grumbling to herself, she turned again and resumed. "Now you're going west," she was promptly informed.

"Master, this way," Astolfo grabbed her and tugged.

"But that's a wall!" she protested.

The Rider cast her a flat stare, then gestured to the door set into the wall, with a sign above it declaring it to be the site of a PUB.

"Ah - wait, the Servant we're looking for is in a bar?"

"Yep!"

"I really hope we aren't about to team up with some crazy drunkard," Nikki whined, but nonetheless they went in.

X

Tyler didn't care what anyone said, or how bad everything else was. Riding a dragon made this the best day of his life.

"So, are you certain that Fafnir is a Servant?" Lily asked.

"Of course he is, what else could he be?" Jeanne shrugged. "I am sure that he's not supposed to be in fifteenth century France, so he must have been summoned here. I would surmise that he's a Rider, or something?"

"Lily!" Tyler yelled. "We are riding a dragon! Stop complaining, this is the best thing ever!"

Jeanne just chuckled as Fafnir growled in what sounded like amusement. "So tell me, how did you end up coming here anyway? You're a long way from the average magus,"

"Well," Tyler considered the question. "There was a lot of fire, I got sick, lots of people died, the best choice got lost, and in the end I'm the only one that made it. Well, and you two,"

Jeanne cast an incredulous look at the Sabers. "Surely there's more to it than that?"

"No, that summarises it well," Lily confirmed.

"He left out the sword beams," Altria pointed out.

"Oh yeah! There were also sword beams!" Tyler nodded.

". . Right," Jeanne decided that was the best she was going to get.

"Hey, while we're chatting, something I'm curious about. Don't take this as a complaint, because it's very helpful, but how did you learn English? I could swear reading that you only spoke French,"

The maiden's brow furrowed, her yellow eyes darkening, and she cast him a confused look. "I . . amspeaking French right now. So are you? I did gain knowledge of other languages when I was summoned. We could speak English instead if you'd prefer?"

Tyler blinked owlishly. "That can't be right . . I don't speak French?!"

"Well that's very strange," Jeanne agreed.

"I'll field this one," Tyler's communicator crackled,, mans Da Vinci appeared. "You must have missed the part of the briefing where I explained that I included a translator in your uniform,"

In response to this, Tyler could only look even more dumbfounded. "A translator. A universal translator? So you just casually revolutionised the field of language studies?! And you did this before the world ended?!"

"It's the magecraft of a Caster-class Servant, Tyler. My means are a little beyond those of your average modern scientist," Da Vinci reminded him.

"You lived during the Renaissance! That can't possibly be . ." Tyler trailed off. "Is that how it works? That - that should not be how it works!"

Jeanne chuckled, watching the exchange, and tapped Fafnir. "Time to set us down, big guy!"

The dragon nodded and tilted, sliding downwards through the air. In mere moments his claws hit the ground, and carved chunks out of it as the soil found itself unable to support his weight. Fafnir, though, was entirely accustomed to landing in this way, and he braced himself, sliding with the landing and dropping to his belly to minimise the shock to his passengers. It still caused the Sabers and Tyler to stumble, Jeanne only riding out the shock through experience.

After a brief moment of reorientation, Lily helped Tyler slide down to the ground, the others following them. "Thanks, Lord Fafnir! You're so cool!" the young man beamed and waved.

An eye the size of an exercise ball swivelled down towards him, and the massive dragon turned his head slightly. A gust of warm air ruffled the Master's hair as he exhaled.

"Hey, he likes you!" Jeanne grinned, snatching the sleeve of his Mystic Code. "Now, come with me, I'll take you to meet the rest of the gang," she commanded, leading the way to a tent on the edge of what was obviously an army camp. Quite a large one, too; Tyler couldn't see where it ended, it was just an endless field of canvas.

"Dr. Roman, Director, are you getting this?" Tyler checked his communicator as he stepped into the tent, and the hologram flickered to life.

"Oh, yes! Both of these guys have great Spirit Origin readings! Well done on joining up with powerful allies!" Dr. Roman crowed.

Tyler paused and took in the three figures in the tent as he tried to formulate a reply. "Uh, you mean all three of them, right?"

"Huh?" was the doctor's eloquent response, and he squinted at something off-camera. "Oh. Uh, my mistake. There's a third reading, but I can barely see it next to the first two,"

"I presume that's me," one of the Servants piped up. She was a lithe brunette in a simple maid's dress and a black top hat, an entirely mundane sight in the manor of a nobleman but throughly out of place in a battlefield. "It's alright, I know I'm very unimpressive, especially next to this beefcake,"

"My dear Charlotte, you mustn't sell yourself short like so," insisted the most impressive of the three people in the tent. He was a tall and gaunt man with blond hair that faded to turquoise at the tips, dressed in black robes under a long coat that hung past his knees and ended at thick-soles boots. However, his presence was undermined by the way he lay sprawled on a bench, nursing a bloody wound in his hip. "Especially since I would not be here right now if not for your timely rescue,"

"Oh, oh jeez. What happened to you?" Tyler winced as he took in the injury, pacing over to him. "Uh, First Aid!" he cast, green light playing over the injury, causing some flesh to regenerate.

"Ah, thank you, my boy. That helps. Do forgive my rudeness in not standing to greet a guest in our humble abode. I am Vladimir Tepes III, and this is my good friend, Charlotte Corday," the Servant introduced himself.

"Vlad the Third? Oh, no way! You're Dracula!" Dr. Roman exclaimed in disbelief.

There was a beat of silence.

Jeanne took a step back. "Oh no, he said the D word,"

"D word?" Tyler mouthed, glancing back at Vlad.

The room grew cold and dark as the king's frigid and merciless eyes became the only source of light in the world, an oppressive aura of palpable killing intent sending every nerve in his body screaming with the urge to run, run and hide, and yet his legs wouldn't move, pure fear holding him paralysed in place.

"Do not. Ever. Speak that name in my presence. I will forgive you. Once," Vlad hissed.

When his legs started working again, Tyler scrambled over to the central pole of the tent and leant against it until he was certain his legs wouldn't give out. "Wow. You . . don't like that?"

"That blood-sucking monstrosity of gothic fable is a perversion of my legend. The corruption it has inflicted on my record in the Throne of Heroes sickens me to my stomach. I would sooner die a thousand deaths than so much as acknowledge the existence of that abomination," Every word he spat was laced with venom.

"Okay, um, on a lighter and more cheery subject . . what gave you that horrible injury?" Tyler asked, desperate to get his mind off what he'd just heard.

"Oh, this? Don't mind it too much, it's fresh, and already healing," Vlad rumbled. "I was hurt by the sword of the dragon-slayer. Early this morning, I led the charge against Paris, only to encounter that man defending the city walls. Honestly, that I should run into him again, here of all places. It beggars belief,"

"Who are we talking about?" Lily pressed.

"Siegfried. The dragon-blooded knight. He has manifested as a Saber, and stands against us, defending Paris," Vlad rumbled.

"Yes, about that. I have some good news for you. We've found out who seems to be commanding the defence of Paris, and, I suspect, keeping Siegfried in line. Him and that despicable black Berserker," d'Eon reported, joining them in the tent. "Our foe is William Shakespeare, the British playwright,"

"Shakespeare too? My word, it's Trifas all over again," Vlad rumbled.

"Trifas?" Tyler parroted.

"A Grail War in the past. I was allied with Siegfried, but he either doesn't remember or doesn't care. I never liked Shakespeare though, not that I saw him much," Vlad summarised.

"You can wander down memory lane when we break for dinner tonight, there's still enough daylight left to be productive," Jeanne chastised them, poking her head behind a curtain, into a partitioned-off section of the tent behind which a shadow was visible. "Gilles!"

"Yes, Jeanne, my beloved?" an answer came but the man didn't move from what he was doing.

"Come out here and meet our guests. They're from the Organisation for the Preservation of Humanity, Chaldea, and they're here to help us," Jeanne commanded, and dragged out what had to be the most strangely dressed man Tyler had ever seen. He wore a long, grey overcoat and some kind of striped scarf around his neck with several fronds protruding from it, with a green undershirt visible through the ragged coat. His hair was black and shocked into several drooping spikes like tentacles, and his eyes bulged out from underneath a heavyset brow.

Tyler stifled a shudder. Every fibre of this man's being was screaming; 'creepy!'

"Chaldea, hmm?" The man raised an eyebrow, and nodded. "Very well. If my beloved Jeanne thinks they can aid us, I shan't object. Carry on!"

"Yes, good. We've won the field, but Vlad's offensive failed," Jeanne recapped. "Oh, right, you newcomers don't know. The battle was a diversion, a successful attempt to lure out enemy Servants. Vlad was supposed to lead a troop to break through the walls and capture Paris, to make sure they had nowhere to retreat to, but the enemy predicted us somehow. Siegfried was waiting for him,"

"He would have killed me, if it weren't for Charlotte's timely rescue," Vlad glowered. "Never again shall I doubt the value of Presence Concealment,"

"Well, there isn't any shame in being bested by a stronger opponent," Altria sardonically pointed out, sitting next to him. "It's an inevitable reality of life,"

Vlad growled, but didn't respond.

Altria stared at him for a moment. "You can't mean to tell me that he actually is stronger than you? Hm. If that's the case, we'll be in for quite the difficult fight,"

"It's not merely a matter of strength! It's his defensive and regenerative ability!" Vlad yelled, frustration bleeding into his tone. "I struck him dead! I I impaled him straight through the heart! He shrugged it off!"

"What's this about a defensive ability?" Tyler asked.

"He has a power called the Armour of Fafnir. Yes, the same dragon who's waiting outside. Siegfried is the one who slew it in their original legend," Vlad summarised. "Siegfried bathed in its blood -"

"His," Jeanne corrected.

". . pardon me?"

"Fafnir isn't an 'it',"

"Oh. Apologies. Whatever the case, bathing in the dragon's blood makes you invincible, but a leaf stuck to the small of his back when he did, so that one spot wasn't covered. In theory, anyone who knows his true name can defeat him easily, because that spot is such an obvious weak spot that a single blow to it will defeat him," Vlad explained.

"But you couldn't hit that spot?"

"He never gave me the chance! He stood on top of a wall and launched gods-damned sword beams at me like raindrops in a thunderstorm! There was no angle I could attack him from where he wouldn't see me coming and move to defend himself!" the Lancer snapped.

"So, we can't take Paris until we can find a way to deal with Siegfried," Tyler reasoned. "Are he, Lancelot and Shakespeare the only Servants in the city?"

"To our knowledge, yes," Jeanne confirmed.

"Great, love the uncertainty," the Master grumbled.

"If you don't mind me asking, the problem with defeating Siegfried is that no one can get close enough, to strike his weak spot with enough accuracy, correct?" Charlotte interjected.

"Yes. It'd be one thing if we just had an Archer to help, but to my knowledge none of us have a sufficiently accurate ranged attack," Vlad glowered.

"Director. Might you send Era and Sita to us? If we can get Sita an angle, I'm sure that she could hit him," Lily put forward, looking at the holograms attached to Tyler's arm.

"No, that won't be necessary. I have a plan, at least to deal with Siegfried," Charlotte declared. "My Noble Phantasm might as well have been made to defeat him, tehe. I'll just need a distraction,"

"Literally anyone here can fulfil the role of distraction," Tyler put forward.

"Then I'll do it. I want to settle the score. Even if it won't be my blade that lands the blow," Vlad determined.

"Sounds like a plan. With Siegfried out of the way, the French army will be able to march on Paris without worrying about Balmung raining death on them," Jeanne nodded. "I'm still worried about Lancelot and Shakespeare, though. Either one of them could devastate the army. I don't want to lead all these people to their deaths," she asserted.

"We don't have to worry much about Shakespeare. He's a remarkably weak and useless Servant, with only a couple of tricks to his name. Just don't let him get you talking, his real power lies in his tongue. Say nothing, ignore him, just attack whilst chanting 'lalala' in your head. Do that and I dare say even you could best him in single combat, Master," Vlad assured the group.

Pursing his lips, Tyler decided to take that as a compliment. "Lily, Altria. You knew Lancelot. What're his weaknesses?"

"He doesn't have any," Lily immediately declared.

"None at all," Altria agreed.

Tyler cast them a flat look. "That's really freaking helpful, thanks,"

"We mean it, though. His combination of Knight of Owner and Eternal Arms Mastery -"

"Eternal what now?" Charlotte interjected.

"It's his Personal Skill. And I do mean personal, he's the only one I know of who has it. In short, he can fight perfectly with any weapon he lays hands on. He's so talented you'd think he was born with a blade in hand, and spent his entire life refining his skill with every type of weapon there is. It's second nature to him. Even as an insane Berserker who can't string a sentence together, he's the perfect warrior," Altria explained. "Combine that with Knight of Owner turning anything he lays hands on into his Noble Phantasm, and you have the perfect human fighting machine,"

"But that means he doesn't have any strengths, either," Jeanne pointed out. "No favoured opponents, and all of us are equally likely to defeat him,"

"Eh, I don't like my chances," Charlotte admitted.

"All of us who are any good at melee combat. I think the trick is going to be -"

"Getting the massive dragon we have outside to obliterate him?" Tyler suggested.

His input was met by a round of baffled blinks.

"I'm just saying. We have a dragon. I get that we can't use Fafnir against Siegfried because he's a dragon slayer Servant and his conceptual bonuses will make Fafnir fold like tissue paper, but I think you all got a little too into the 'one on one battles of legend' routine. Is there any particular reason we can't just rain fire on him from above until he keels over, or tail slap him right back to England?"

". . No, no, that'll probably work. Haha! Alright, I'll tell the big guy. Charlotte, Vlad, head out whenever you're ready. They're probably expecting another offensive, so I doubt Siegfried will move for a while," Jeanne commanded, then paused. "Unless you need more time to heal?"

". . I would appreciate a few more casts of that First Aid spell," Vlad admitted.

The Master nodded, shaking out the sleeves of his Mystic Code. "On it!"

X

The pub was small, quiet and mostly empty.

Actually, save for the bartender polishing a bottle, it was completely empty.

"I think we lost the Servant we were looking for," Nikki sighed.

"No, the signal's clear! They're right in front of you!" Da Vinci advised from the command room.

"But, the only person here is . ." Nikki paused, then stalked over to the bartender, a tall fellow with pale grey hair. "Are you a Servant?"

"Ah . . uh, I'm sorry, what?" the man frowned.

"You know, magic, Heroic Spirits, saving the world. Does any of that mean anything to you?"

". . I think you want the creepy guy who passed out in the cellar," the bartender offered, gesturing to a trapdoor.

Nikki considered this for a moment. "Da Vinci. Does your machine not factor in altitude?"

"Apparently not, just longitude and latitude. Also I must protest that I didn't design this," Da Vinci retorted.

The Master sighed. "I will take a creepy guy in the cellar. Astolfo, could you go in first? Just in case this turns violent,"

"You got it!" The Rider flung the door open and slid down the ladder, landing with a splash.

"Did I just hear a splash?" his Master called. "Is it wet down there? I don't want to ruin these shoes! . . actually, they're probably a lost cause but it's the principle of the matter!"

"Nah, it's fine, come on down!"

"Alright," With somewhat more care, Nikki dropped down the ladder in several quick steps and landed with a squelch.

Covering her mouth, Astolfo did his best to stifle giggles.

Looking down at the black grime that was now splattered over her trainers, Nikki angrily jabbed the communicator. "Da Vinci?" she hissed through gritted teeth.

"Yes?"

"When I get back to Chaldea, I want you to make me boots. The best damn boots you can!"

"Sure, cutie, no worries,"

"And stop being so condescending!"

Something shifted in the shadows.

Nikki and Astolfo froze. "Did you see that?" the Master breathed.

"Go away," a muffled voice mumbled.

Nikki clenched her fist. "I am Nikki Aiadon, Master of Chaldea. Me and my Servant, Astolfo, have come to retrieve the Holy Grail and undo this Singularity, so that we can restore Proper Human History and undo the Incineration of Humanity. We're looking for Servants to help us,"

Something red shifted into the light coming from the trapdoor above them. Greasy hair shifted, and a large, pale green eye regarded them.

"No thanks. Go away,"

Nikki choked. "What? But - you're a Heroic Spirit. How can you not want to save the world?"

"You'll fail. You'll die. It's not worth the hassle," the form mumbled.

"And you're certain of that," Astolfo frowned, wading through the muck to stand over the figure, who was sprawled in a hammock so dark they could barely pick it out against the back wall. A mass of dark hair obscured their figure, save for one exposed hand that was covered in circular tattoos, and a floating, blood-red ring around their head that emitted a muffled confirmation.

"Why?"

"Because," the form grumbled.

Nikki raised her eyebrows, and forced herself to cross the cellar. "Hey, what's your name?"

"Why do you care? Just let me sleep,"

"Because we need all the help we can get," she admitted. After a moment, she sighed. "Look, you're right. We barely know what we're doing, we don't have much of a plan. We don't really know what we're up against and we're probably hopelessly outmatched,"

The eye was staring at her in incredulous confusion now.

"But the fact is, we're the only ones who can do something about this. Chaldea, we, are the sole remaining group on this planet capable of doing anything to prevent or undo the end of the world, anything at all. And we know that the amount of power we can bring to bear right now isn't going to be anywhere near enough, but that's why we want people like you to help us. To join us. Every bit helps, everyone has something to contribute. And maybe whether or not you're with us, helping us, makes the difference between victory and defeat,"

The person sat up, flowing hair parting to reveal a pale, watery face. ". . You're really so certain that you can save the world?"

"Of course not," Nikki admitted with a slight shake of her head. "But we're going to try anyway,"

Those unnervingly large eyes blinked twice. Then the entity before them heaved out a sigh. "Fine. How about a trial run, then. I'll help you on this foolish quest until you find this Singularity's Holy Grail, then I'll decide if you're worth following. If only because I'm already awake now and it's going to be really hard to get back to sleep while this Singularity still exists,"

"That's good enough for me," Nikki nodded with a grateful smile. "I'm Nikki, 29th Master of Chaldea,"

A tattooed hand snaked out and touched hers, wet and slimy flesh sending involuntary shudders up her arm. "Taisui Xingjun. Pseudo-Divine Spirit and Alter Ego-Class Servant,"

Confusion danced across Nikki's features. ". . I'm sorry, you're a what? What's an 'Alter Ego'? And, what do you mean, Pseudo-Divine?"

"I dunno," he shrugged.

"Da Vinci?"

"Uh, I don't know what to tell you either. I suppose he's some kind of false god legend? Same for the class; his Spirit Origin doesn't match any of the main seven Classes. We know Extra Classes exist, after all Mash is a Shielder and over in Orleans Tyler's run into the Ruler-Class Jeanne d'Arc. I guess 'Alter Ego' must be another one of these mysterious Extra Classes?"

"Gotcha. Ah well, maybe we'll run into more at one point or another. Come on, let's go," Nikki beckoned to the two Servants, and without wasting another second clambered out of the dingy cellar.

". . . Astolfo? Where did you leave that Bartholomew guy?"

"Huh?" the paladin frowned, looking around as he exited the cellar, scanning the empty floor. "He was right . . ah. Yup, he's gone. Whoops!"

"Sorry, folks. If you leave someone unconscious and they get up and run off, you only have yourself to blame. That's part of the pirates' code," the bartender unsympathetically offered.

Nikki sunk into a chair, leaning on the bar with her head in her hands. "This is my fault, isn't it?" she whimpered.

"How d'ya mean?"

"We just lost our only lead on what's going on in this Singularity,"

A high-pitched noise filled the air, and without even looking Nikki levelled a finger at her Servant. "Don't! Laugh!"

"This is going to be a massive waste of time," Taisui mumbled.

X

"Siegfried! Saber of Black, if that still means anything to you!"

The dragon-slayer's head swivelled, and he focused on Vlad Tepes III as he stalked towards the position he had taken up atop the hastily erected ten-foot wall.

"I don't know why you call me that, Vladimir. It is a name that means nothing to me,"

"So it doesn't. That's a pity," Ten feet below and thirty away, Vlad halted. He knew that he was within the effective range of Siegfried's Noble Phantasm, but he also knew that the dragon-slayer would only use it if provoked. His goal here was merely to be a distraction, and he wasn't fully recovered yet. If words would distract him just as well as combat would, he had no need of risking himself.

"Why have you come back? I can see that you haven't healed properly. Do you wish to defeat me that badly?" the Saber rumbled.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. But, first I need a question answered," Vlad called back at him.

"And what would that be?"

"Why are you here? Why are you protecting this city? Why do you feel this is worth doing?" In all honesty, Vlad couldn't care less about what was going through the Saber's mind. But making him stop and reflect on his motives and feelings would make it that much easier for Charlotte to sneak up on him.

"Because they asked me to,"

It wasn't working, Vlad determined. Someone as simple-minded and relentlessly driven as Siegfried would never doubt himself just because someone looked at his ideology in an unflattering light. "Ah. Of course. That little quirk of yours had slipped my mind. I suppose it was a foolish question,"

"Perhaps just a little," A faint smile escaped Siegfried's facade.

"Oh? Was that a joke I just heard from the stoic dragon slayer? And here I'd thought you not to have a single drop of humour in your body. I suppose wonders will never cease,"

"I should hope not," the Saber returned equally. "It would be quite depressing to live in a world without wonder,"

"A pity, then, that you cannot see the bloody road that I travel on. Wonder fled my life a long time ago," he admitted with a slight scowl. "But . . What's the term? 'There's no use crying over spilt milk'? I believe that was it. Hm. You know, I'd always wondered, does the idea of righteousness not factor into your decision making process at all? Or do you just fulfil people's earnest requests with no heed for your own morals?"

"A lingering curiosity from the version of me you fought alongside in a past Grail War? I can oblige that request," Siegfried nodded. "You're right. I do want to stand for what I believe in. In life, I walked the path of a hero, and it does not do for a hero to strive for their own selfish desires, so I acted only when asked. I don't regret that. But it does bring me some measure of joy to fight for the benevolence, justice and love that I believe in,"

"One last question, then," Vlad nodded. "Why are you defending Paris? Why not join us under the banner of Jeanne d'Arc?"

Soegfried's tone was flat, without judgement or condescension as he spoke. "Because the actions you are taking will cause people to die. Maybe your cause is righteous, and maybe the transient existences of the people of this Singularity don't mean anything. But no war can be fought without the loss of innocent lives. I won't condone that,"

"I see. Then there's nothing more to say," Vlad nodded, inwardly fuming. What was taking Charlotte so long?

"Indeed," Balmung went up, and Vlad drew his lance.

"If our last bout taught me anything, it's that against you in that spot, there's no reason to try for one perfect strike with which to incapacitate you. Rather," Pointed spears burst out of the ground around Vlad, angled towards Siegfried. First five, then twenty, then a hundred, a field of sharp ends blooming outwards until there were easily three hundred sharpened stakes at the ready. Vlad cracked a crooked smile. "Let's try quantity over quality,"

The spears leapt into the air under his telekinetic control, flying into the air and raining down around Siegfried with a wide enough spray that he couldn't dodge fast enough to avoid getting hit. Even as the first volley of spears was ongoing, the earliest strikes that missed and fell behind the wall jumped back up and came at him from behind, unerringly targeting the exposed weak spot on his back.

Siegfried raised his sword as the lances honed in, and jumped. The fierce of his acceleration smashed him through the few spears that had passed above him, and the stakes from behind flew harmlessly underneath him or bounced off his greaves. His sword came down, glowing with blue light, and a shockwave reduced the stakes that were frantically retargeting him to splinters as he spoke. "The evil dragon shall fall, and the world will reach its sunset! Phantasmal Greatsword - Felling of the Sky Demon: Balmung!"

Vlad frantically flung himself backwards as a blue laser large enough to envelop him emerged from the tip of the sword, crashing down to earth and just barely avoiding the wall as it obliterated the stakes below him, then swept outwards to target him and only narrowly missed. "Damnit! Stop that!"

"I can't oblige that request," Siegfried shook his head, but In the moment he'd been blinded by the light of his own Noble Phantasm, the Lancer had vanished from view.

He cast around, but only saw the remains of the stakes, several trees, a maid, and a mole that was frantically burying itself out of fear for its life.

Wait. A maid?

"Got you!" All thought of the innocent and non-threatening maid vanished as Vlad emerged from the canopy of a nearby tree with another salvo of lances. Siegfried spun to fave him and swung his sword. "Phantasmal Greatsword - Felling of the Sky Demon: Balmung!" Another blue laser lashed out, and Vlad used tentacles of his own lances erupting from the tree to fling him out of the way as the beam annihilated the leafy canopy, flying into the middle distance and narrowly avoiding scorching an unfortunate bush and a maid.

Vlad's lance came down on him, and Balmung was swept up to block. For a moment, the force of his strike held the Lancer in place in mid-air, then both pushed off and Vlad was thrown back while Siegfried's position held firm. His platinum blonde locks billowed around him as he landed on both feet and skidded, left hand coming down momentarily to steady himself as he slid to a halt on the grass between a bush and a maid.

The greatsword flashed with light and came down again. "The evil dragon shall fall, and the world will reach its sunset! Phantasmal Greatsword - Felling of the Sky Demon: Balmung!"

Cursing, the king leapt behind the nearby tree, but howled in pain as the sword beam clipped his leg. "Gods damnit!" he bellowed, limping out from behind the tree and casting his fiercest scowl at the dragon slayer. "How can you possibly have the magic to fire your Noble Phantasm so many times?"

"I don't know. But I do, so I'm going to use it," Siegfried shrugged. ". . Do you need a minute?"

"Oh, to hell with you!" Vlad roared, throwing his arms out. "Bloodstained King Demon: Kazikli Bey!" Stakes erupted from his body. Unlike the earlier weapons, these were made of flesh, of blood, of hair and of bone. Though they were fewer in numbers they moved much faster, and Siegfried found himself struggling to defend.

So he didn't.

Heedless of the pain as they pierced his shoulders and feet, he trusted his Armour of Fafnir to keep him alive even as he ripped one of his feet apart to free it from the stake of hair before a bone spear could impale the small of his back. He swung his sword and drew breath - but the blade did not appear in his vision, did not block his view of the grass and the maid in front of him.

Somewhat belatedly, he realised that the spear in his right arm had severed his tendon, rendering him unable to swing Balmung. "Huh. Not bad,"

"It's a pity we can't work together. I really do respect you," Vlad offered, picking himself up and limping towards him. "But with you unable to move that arm, I think this fight is-"

Siegfried's thumb jerked, and his sword bounced in his hand, just enough that it came down three inches and pointed at Vlad. "Balmung!"Phantasmal Greatsword - Felling of the Sky Demon

Caught off-guard, the Lancer barely had time to splutter before the laser bodily threw him into the middle distance.

Siegfried heaved out a sigh. "Better luck next time," he mumbled in the direction in which Vlad had disappeared.

"Wow, that was awesome!"

Who was speaking? Siegfried looked up in surprise to see . . a maid?

"That was so cool! You were all fwoosh, and he was like babababang, and you just weren't having any of it - oh, gosh, sorry, you're injured! Let me help you up!" she declared, and before he could protest her arms were wrapped around his body and forcing him to his feet.

"You really don't have to," he mumbled. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but there was something about this maid that didn't seem quite obviously wasn't dangerous but . . what was a maid doing in the mettle of a battlefield, anyway?

His body went rigid as the tip of a knife found the small of his back.

Earlier…

"So, just out of curiosity, how exactly do you plan to defeat Siegfried?" Tyler asked as Fafnir lifted them towards the point where Siegfried was defending the fortifications around Paris.

"Well, I'm gonna walk right up to him while he's not looking, and then I'm gonna stab him!" Charlotte explained. "And he'll never see it coming because I'm way too pretty and innocent to stab someone!"

The Master's eyebrows inched upwards. ". . Is that all?"

"Yep!"

". . We're turning this dragon around and coming up with a new plan," Tyler asserted. "There is no way in hell that's going to work!"

"Tyler, was it?" Jeanne cautioned him. "If any other Servant was suggesting this, I would share your concerns. Hell, any other Assassin probably couldn't pull it off. But this is Charlotte Corday. If anyone can make a hare-brained scheme like this work, it's her. She's a stab-happy airhead, but with an absurdly high Luck ranking. Frankly, this is exactly what I expected,"

X

"Love To The Homeland, A Dream Of Drowning: Le Rêve Ensoleillé," Charlotte whispered as she buried the knife in Siegfried's back. "Did you think such a sweet girl couldn't be an assassin? Tehe. Have a pleasant dream,"

Siegfried choked out one last gasp, then fell to the ground and started to break down into golden particles.

Chapter Text

Fafnir, with a complement of Servants and Master on his back, flew into Paris over a wall that was no longer defended by a dragon slayer and landed in the first courtyard that was large enough to both accomodate him and leave enough room for people to fight in front of him.

"Remember, everyone. People live here. This is their home," Jeanne reminded the assembled group. "Just because we're taking Paris back from England doesn't mean we're looting or pillaging anything, and we're definitely not killing innocent people! I will not condone a single drop of innocent blood being spilled!"

"How do you plan to fight Lancelot under those conditions?" Altria asked, folding her arms.

A sigh escaped her lips. "I said I wouldn't condone it, not that I thought it was going to happen. Ideally, we can lure him out, then have Fafnir pick him up and throw him outside the city,"

Fafnir rumbled in agreement.

"Though it seems they are hiding like the little rats they are. Tch, how dare they hide from the splendour that is my Jeanne?" Gilles grumbled in his own way.

Tyler looked around the group. "Seriously, I'm not the only one getting bad vibes from this guy, right?"

"I shall rip your tongue from its blasphemous lips and - no, no, that's not what Jeanne would want, I can be good, I can be a hero," The Caster cut off his own indignant shout, pressing a hand to his forehead.

Jeanne offered him a soothing pat. "Be gentle with Gilles, Master. He suffers from the effects of an ability called Mental Corruption, as a result of the kidnappings and murders people accused him of,"

"Wait, what?!" the Master jumped, quickly shifting position to put the Sabers between himself and Gilles, who sighed.

"No, none of that. It's a similar case to Vlad. He didn't actually do any of those things, but because people think he did he gets saddled with the guilt in his record anyway," Jeanne clarified.

"Oh," Tyler bit his lip. "Sorry. I didn't . ."

"Quite alright, nothing less is to be expected. A reexamination a bit before your time called my guilt into question, I believe, and absolved me of my crimes. Perhaps, in another couple of centuries, enough of the world will forgive me that I can manifest as a true hero. But for the time being, this is who I must remain," Gilles sighed. "Don't waste your breath on apologies, if my name is to ever be cleared there must be a humanity to accept the verdict, yes? So let's get on with this 'save the world' business. Our immediate problem is how we might lure out Shakespeare and Lancelot,"

"I am uncertain regarding that little rat of a writer, but Lancelot ought not be difficult. After all, his single greatest desire is to kill me," Altria raised her sword, then paused. "Tch, for goodness' sake. I was about to fire Excalibur as though it were a signal flare, but I had forgotten that I cannot do that right now,"

"You forget, I'm King Arthur too. I'll use Caliburn, from a distance I'm sure he'll mistake it for my adult self's Excalibur. Just shout at the top of your lungs, and he'll come running," Lily retorted, raising her sword.

"Very well, proceed!" Altria agreed, taking a deep breath in.

Lily raised her sword. "Golden Sword of Promised Victory: Caliburn," she whispered, and a pillar of golden light shot into the sky.

"Lancelot!" Altria bellowed, reaching a volume impossible for human lungs, such that she could surely be heard anywhere in Paris. "Come out and face us!"

Caliburn died down, and the echoes of Altria's shout faded.

A long minute passed.

"Looks like it didn't work," Tyler shook his head. "You Servants have some kind of magic energy sense, right? Let's all split up and start searching. Wherever they're hiding, we should be able to find them if we sense anything weird,"

"It does seem like that's our best option. I suggest we go in pairs, so that we won't ever get caught in a two-on-one fight. If anyone finds Lancelot, don't stand your ground, lure him back here, to Fafnir," Jeanne instructed. "Charlotte, Master, you two are our biggest liabilities and the only ones who won't be able to goad Lancelot into a chase without just dying in one hit. You should stay here with Fafnir, he'll protect you. I'll go with Gilles. Vlad, you take the cute King Arthur, d'Eon, stay with the angry King Arthur,"

Altria spluttered incoherently when faced with the label of 'angry King Arthur', but before she could voice an objection, Lily piped up. "I'm not sure I'm comfortable with leaving my Master alone,"

"It's fine," Vlad agreed. "I'm still recovering from my battles with Siegfried anyway, rest will do me some good. Me and Lily will stay in this area whilst the rest of you fan out,"

"Fine, fine. Everyone know what they're doing? Then let's go!" the Ruler commanded, grabbing Gilles' hand and pulling him along with her. He hastened to keep up, and the others caught a besotted expression on his face as he followed after her.

"That Caster is completely obsessed," Altria observed.

". . You know, we should try to set them up on a date or something," Tyler resolved.

Everyone looked at him in confusion.

". . I'm just saying. Everyone deserves love," he mumbled.

"If we get the chance, I'll help," Lily assured him.

"Tch, do as you please. Come, hat kid, we shall go exploring," Altria demanded, guiding d'Eon in a different direction.

"How about we go for a walk around the block in that direction? Make sure nothing's sneaking up on us," Vlad suggested, and Lily cast a glance at her Master.

"I'll be fine. If something happens, I'll shout, and Corday and Fafnir will keep me safe long enough for you to get back here," Tyler assured her. Lily pursed her lips, but nodded and climbed over the dragon's tail on her way to another street's entrance, Vlad in pursuit.

A beat of silence passed, and the Master glanced at Charlotte. "So . . what are your plans for after this 'free France' thing?"

The maid cast him an incredulous look, then chuckled. "Master! Are you trying to ask me out?"

Tyler blinked. "What? No - what?! That's - that's not," He paused and took a breath. "No. What I was trying to get at is, the Director said we should be trying to recruit more Servants that we meet in the Singularities, because we currently don't have the ability to summon more Servants on our own. So I was hoping you'd be willing to make a contract with me and -"

"GANGWAY!" a voice hollered, and Master and Servant both stopped to see Altria charging back into the plaza. D'Eon was hot on her heels and they were being pursued by . .

Tyler's brain ground to a halt. Was that a tank?!

A lumbering shape shrouded in black mist approached, wheels clattering and bouncing off the cobblestone underfoot, and he could dimly make out a circular barrel protruding from the front. A familiar red visor floated above the shape, and, just in case it wasn't clear who they were dealing with, a throaty voice bellowed, "ARRRRRTHUUUUUUR!"

For the first second, all Tyler could think was shit. Then he remembered what he was standing next to. "Fafnir!"

A rumbling growl of displeasure built in the massive black dragon's throat as he lifted his head and turned it to face the oncoming assault. As he did, Tyler's eyes adjusted to the gloom a bit more and he saw what Lancelot had done.

It wasn't a tank. He'd used rope to lash two wagons together, mounted a fifteenth-century cannon on each of them, cajoled a pair of horses into pushing it from behind and infused the whole thing with Knight of Owner to hold it together.

"What in the hell?" the Master breathed, but a grin tugged at his lips as flame built in the back of Fafnir's throat and, seeing what was coming, Altria and d'Eon threw themselves to the ground to avoid being caught by the flame.

Lancelot fired first.

A pair of Noble Phantasm-enhanced cannonballs, trailing black smoke, flew across the plaza and crashed into Fafnir's snout and cheek. Caught off-guard by the impact, the dragon staggered, dazed, and the fire disappeared from his throat.

"He planned for Fafnir," Tyler breathed. Lancelot had realised that they would try to use Fafnir's overwhelming might to beat him and come up with a weapon that, even if it only worked once, would take Fafnir out of the fight long enough for him to defeat Altria. "Can Berserkers do that?"

"You oughtn't ever count on what your opponent can't do!" Altria hollered, sweeping back onto her feet and raising her sword as Lancelot's impromptu fifteenth-century tank advanced, his tentacles whipping out and reloading the cannons. "Gah! That shield girl would be very helpful right now!"

"Allow me. This worked last time," d'Eon hissed, magic energy building around them, and they twirled and leapt into the air. "Sword Dance of Fall-/Fleur de-"

A cannonball struck them in mid-air, interrupting the half-formed Noble Phantasm and sending the Saber crashing to the ground.

"Fools! You're all fools! Why would you assume that the greatest Knight of the Round Table cannot learn from previous encounters?!" Altria snapped.

Lancelot went still, his helmet swivelling to look at the person who had once been his king. ". . Great . . est?"

"Naturally!" the Alter snapped. "Should someone picture a Knight of the Round Table, they think of you! You are the one who stands at the front! My champion! This should be obvious!"

"No." A growled word erupted from the Berserker's throat. "You . . were . . greatest. You . . were . . light. I . . just . . shadow. Underneath. You . . were . . everything. So! . . why?"

Altria tilted her head. ". . You'll need to be more specific?"

"Why did you become - like - THAT?!" Lancelot bellowed through clipped speech, and the cannon before him fired - but he must have felt the projectile wasn't travelling fast enough, because he threw himself from the DIY tank and let it fall apart in his wake, his tentacles lashing out and snatching the cannonball from midair only to slam dunk it towards Altria's face like a basketball champion.

It crashed into the flat of Excalibur, which she barely got up in time to block the blow, only for the sheer force of the projectile to push her sword back and bounce it off her skull. Gritting her teeth, Altria mentally told her concussion no, thank you and flicked the cannonball away as Lancelot landed before her, a salvaged sword from somewhere in hand. "You mean the corruption? This state?" she gestured to the black and red that encrusted her body. "Heh. You haven't a leg to stand on, with your pitch-black armour and personal fog machine. Whatever radiance we had back in the old days, we both have lost it now. Is that truly the only reason you desire to kill me so badly? You're so angry at me for stooping this low that you'd rather destroy me than allow me to taint your image of the great King Arthur? Lancelot, you are a gods-damned hypocrite!"

Lancelot bellowed in wordless rage and anguish and lunged, a thrust that would have skewered the darkened King of Knights if Altria hadn't danced aside and used Excalibur to slap the tip of his sword into the ground.

"And that's fine with me, because I feel exactly the same way," Altria admitted, panting slightly as Lancelot recovered his balance. "I don't care to see you so callously damaging my image of the great knight, Lancelot,"

The Berserker screamed and charged, tentacles lashing out from his back and flailing at Altria as his sword came down again. Grimacing, Altria danced back, taking glancing blows from the tentacles even as she kept away from the sword as best she could. "Is this really the best you can do?" she snapped, bashing his guard aside and using her free hand to punch him straight in the face. "How the mighty have fallen!"

A burst of magical energy erupted from the Knight, physically forcing Altria back, and the black smoke was stripped away from his body, coalescing into a dark sword to match the corrupted Excalibur in Altria's hand.

"Unfading Light of the Lake: Arondight."

Altria pursed her lips. "You still have that too? Annoying,"

Then her guard was bashed aside with a blow so hard she staggered.

From his viewpoint, Tyler, despite not being a Swordmaster could only describe the sequence of motions Lancelot then began as 'perfect'. He moved like he had all the time in the world to prepare and execute his attacks; every motion had the inexorable weight of a mountain behind it and yet was executed so seamlessly, so fantastically, that it looked like the result of an action movie sequence drilled over hours, if not days. He thrust and opened a gaping wound in Altria's torso, then slashed upwards and shredded her armour, stepped forward and brought his sword down to knock her foot out of position, which caused her hasty guard to fall flat as he buried the sword in her shoulder. Finally, with a flourish he withdrew the weapon, causing the king to twist in mid-air as she crumpled to the ground.

The observing Tyler, Charlotte and recovering d'Eon barely dared to breathe. "He just out-Sabered the best Saber," the Master numbly observed. "What the hell do we have that can stop that?"

At that moment, in a single motion, Fafnir's jaws swept across the courtyard and closed around the Berserker, muffling a scream of rage as the massive Phantasmal, with a force of will, swallowed.

". . oh yeah. A dragon," A hysterical smile broke out across his face, and he whooped. "Whoo! Go, Fafnir!"

If ever a dragon had looked smug, Fafnir did right now.

Then he looked constipated, as a visible bulge appeared in his throat. Fire spilled out of his lips as Fafnir fought back the urge to vomit, the bulge shifting and struggling inside him.

"What is this guy made of?" the Master whispered in dismay. "Spit him out!" he yelled. "Spit him as far away as you can!"

With a slight nod, Fafnir leapt into the air and inhaled, nausea sending shudders through his body. A great flaming meteorite - or, rather, meteor-knight - emerged from his throat, arcing into the air and soaring out of Paris. A distant scream was the last they saw of Lancelot.

It took a moment, but Tyler recollected his wits enough to mumble, "Let's, uh, try to solve this Singularity before he finds his way back here. Crap, Altria. First aid!" he yelled, crossing the plaza and crouching over the crumpled form of the King of Knights, green light suffusing her body.

". . Damn it all," Altria mumbled, forcing her head up enough to inspect the injuries to her hip and right shoulder. "He got me,"

"How do you feel? Can you stand?"

"I shall be fine, I shall . . walk it off," she forced out through gritted teeth, using her left arm to propel herself to her feet. Unfortunately, Altria immediately stumbled, and d'Eon and Tyler caught her.

He immediately started dragging her towards an abandoned bench nearby. "Nope. You need rest. And much more healing than I can provide. I can't do anything about that second one but come over here and lie down. The others can find and deal with Shakespeare, I'm not leaving you,"

"Thank you," Altria grunted. "This might be the concussion talking, but you're a worthy Master,"

"Hey, if I let Arthur Pendragon die Nikki and every medieval enthusiast in England would kill me," he weakly chuckled.

X

"We need a ship," Nikki declared, looking out at the docks.

Every pirate within earshot cringed and fled.

She hummed. "So is this what it's like to have people be afraid of you? It's nod bad,"

"Master, I think it's because your reputation is spreading and no one wants to have 'lost at sea' on their tombstone," Astolfo quite reasonably pointed out.

". . of all the twelve paladins of Charlemagne, why did I have to get the mouthy one?"

"Why do we need a ship?" Taisui suddenly interjected.

"Because this entire Singularity is an ocean and we've established that the Holy Grail isn't on this island. Ergo, we need sea travel,"

"I see," Taisui nodded with a noncommittal hum. "Travel to where, exactly?"

Nikki paused. She and Astolfo exchanged glances.

"Ya didn't think about that, did ya, Ma-chan?"

"Does if matter? If we have a set destination, we'll probably end up everywhere except there . ." Nikki groaned.

"Doesn't mean we should just galumph off without even a compass, that's how people get lost at sea," Astolfo shook his head. "You two wait here, I'mma go bully some charts out of the pirates,"

"Okay. By the way, I don't know if this matters, but I'm sensing Heroic Spirits approaching,"

"What? . . Astolfo, go and do the map thing. I might have to greet some new allies!" Nikki commanded, chasing after Taisui. "Where are they? How many?"

"On that boat," he shrugged, gesturing at a vague shape on the horizon. "Either four or five. I want to say five but one of them's so pathetic that I'm struggling to ascribe anything 'heroic' to it," Taisui offered with a shrug.

Nikki squinted but could only make out a blob. "Hey, Da Vinci?" she asked, holding her arm out so that the camera built into her communicator was facing the ocean. "How good is the resolution on this camera?"

"Good enough to tell you that's no ordinary pirate ship, it's a Greek longboat," the Caster replied. "Which definitely shouldn't exist in the sixteenth century but that's not relevant at all. You're probably about to run into some heroes from Ancient Greece,"

"Got it. I know literally nothing about Greece. Any tips?"

"Sure, cutie, I'll rustle up something. Anyone here know Greek mythology?" she called.

"Ahem. I dabble a bit," Dr. Roman appeared, mumbling something about wanting 'to find out who dropped the ball' that Nikki didn't quite catch. "To the Greeks, being a hero meant something different than it does to us. Heroes were champions, gods among men. They weren't so much 'good' as 'great'. Everything they did, they did with all the force they could muster. Enough is never enough. There's a certain arrogance characteristic in Greek legends, though really the worst offender is Jason. Compared to him, everyone else is pretty moderate and agreeable. Really, as long as it's anyone other than Jason, just treat them with respect and you'll be fine,"

"Great, I'll keep that in mind - holy moly that is a fast ship, it's already making port," Nikki blanched, then started in the direction of the berth that the trireme was docking at, gesturing to Taisui to follow her. "Hail!" she hollered as soon as the boat was bumping against the dock. "Heroic Spirits of Greece! I am Nikki, Master of Chaldea, and I am honoured to make your acquaintance!"

"And so you should be!" A blonde man in golden armour with smug and self-satisfied eyes declared, casually jumping off the boat and waving at her. "The honour is all yours, naturally. I am the greatest Saber to ever emerge from the mythos of Greece, the one and only Jason!"

Nikki's smile fixed itself firmly on her face as a muscle twitched in her neck. Though she showed no outward sign of it, her internal thought processes needed to be redacted for sheer profanity.

X

"Shakespeare's in the wind," Jeanne reported. "No sign of him anywhere in Paris,"

The Heroic Spirits had reconvened in the same plaza, and Tyler cursed at the news. "Damnit, I really wanted to punch that guy in the face,"

"Get in line," d'Eon snorted.

"Either way. With Lancelot and Siegfried defeated, or at least no longer fighting us, we have control of Paris. That means, putting aside the areas of France that're outside the boundaries of this Singularity,"

"Like most of Normandy," Vlad pointed out, eyebrows raised in amusement.

"Yes, exactly," Jeanne shot him a mildly aggrieved look. "There is only one site still occupied by British forces," Her fist clenched. "Rouen,"

"What's so important about Rouen?" Lily asked, noticing her reaction.

"It's the place where they burned me," the Ruler explained.

Everyone winced sympathetically.

"It's fine. The entire campaign's led up to this,"

"That's a fancy way to describe this operation, when you just started by taking the contested Orleans and immediately went to Paris," Vlad observed.

"Are you trying to make some kind of point?" Jeanne demanded.

"No, no, do continue,"

"Right. Rouen's not far, but it's still going to take a few days for the army to march there. I suspect it's going to be the place where all the remaining British forces rally for a final stand, including however many Servants they have over there. So we'll need to be ready, with as much firepower as we can bring. Which actually brings me to the next thing I want you to do, Master of Chaldea. Ideally, your Servants as well, but," Jeanne winced and looked at Altria.

"Hey! You!" the Saber yelled at the target of her ire. "Yeah, I'm talking to you! You're a real tough customer, I know, but I'm not afraid of you! Someone untie me so I can wallop this rude little pissant as he deserves!"

In response, the donkey she was yelling at farted the grumpiest fart they'd ever heard.

"Oh that does it! You're in for it now!"

"I don't think we should untie her until her concussion's healed over," the Ruler asserted, and no one objected.

"Me and Lily are enough to handle whatever you have in mind. What's the job?"

"There's rumours about a couple of rogue Servants that've popped up in Thiers, down at the southern edge of the Singularity. I need to stay here to corral the troops - I may have talked the government into letting the army be commanded by 'the resurrected Jeanne d'Arc and her dragon', but that's gonna break down pretty fast if I run off on Fafnir-back. Fafnir, on the other hand, likes you just as much as he likes me, which is more than he likes anyone else here. I think he might trust you to ride him without me keeping him in line,"

"So, you want me and Lily to go recruiting?" Tyler guessed.

"Got it in one,"

"Oh, that's perfect!" Charlotte piped up. "You can recruit them to Chaldea too!"

"What's that?" Jeanne's eyebrow quirked.

"The Director gave us a secondary mission objective while we're here in the Singularity. Our mechanism to summon Servants isn't working, but we have enough magical energy generation to sustain a lot of contracts. So I'm supposed to recruit as many Servants that've been summoned in the Singularities, either by Grail use or the Counter Force, make contracts with them, and bring them with us back to Chaldea when we leave," he summarised.

"Oh, is that so? Splendid. It would be an honour to join your group," Vlad assured him. "Yeah, agreed! I don't really know why you'd want me, but I'm totally up for it!" Charlotte concurred.

"Really? You're in? Awesome!" Tyler clasped his hands together and nodded.

"I'm not opposed, myself. But you should probably get ready to leave. Fafnir doesn't need to sleep, neither do any of us really, but it'll take most of the night for him to fly to Thiers. We'll need to set up a saddle that you won't fall out of while you rest. Gilles, would you mind trying your hand at that? You are our only Caster,"

"Yes, yes, I'll get on it, Jeanne," With a bob of his head and a cheerful - but still creepy - smile, Gilles bustled off.

X

An assortment of other heroes bustled out after Jason; a frazzled-looking man on the older side in armour made of green leather, a petite little woman with purple hair tied back in a flowing ponytail, a tall and thin man with white hair in platinum gold robes with teal-coloured flickers of magic around him, and, at the rear -

Nikki swallowed a double-take. The last Servant was a catgirl. A genuine, real-life catgirl, with green hair and golden, lion-like ears, and a tuft-tipped tail to match hanging out from her green skirt.

"I'm, uh, afraid I don't know much about Greek tales of heroism. I didn't really expect to run into Greek heroes out here,"

"Ah, don't sweat it, none of us are all that special anyway. Name's Hector, Lancer. This old man's charmed," the green warrior raised a hand in what could loosely be described as a salute.

"I am Medea," the little girl in white offered, sounding disinterested, and her older, male compatriot cast her a look. "Asclepius. Casters, both of us. Apologies for . . her,"

"And I am Atalante, Archer," the catgirl curtsied.

"Of course, I, the illustrious leader of the Argonauts, am Jason," the blond man at their head declared with a toothy smile.

"Yes, you already said that," Nikki mumbled. "So, what brings you to this shantytown? It's not much of a place, we were just about to leave,"

"Why, you of course! And your Servants, by extension,"

Nikki frowned. "What does that mean?"

"Today, we're offering you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity; to become a temporary member of the Argonauts!" Jason beamed.

". . wait, what?" This was not the direction the Master had expected this conversation to take. "Why would you want me?"

"Nikki!" She jumped slightly as Olga-Marie's top half appeared on her wrist. "These are the Argonauts, incredibly powerful heroes of Greek myth, and they are willingly teaming up with us! Don't ask questions, go for it before they change their minds!"

"Yes, well, that probably won't happen because, you see, under the current circumstances we . ." Jason paused for effect. "Are quite weak!"

Resounding silence greeted this proclamation.

"Nevermind, Nikki, drop them like the hot garbage they are," Olga-Marie flatly corrected herself.

"What our illustrious captain is trying to say," Hektor stepped forward, "is that Medea and Asclepius detected the energy generated by your Rayshift here, and we've been tracking you since. Anyone who'd willingly come to this death trap of a dimension must be able to hold their own, so we're hoping you can contribute your strength to a problem we're having, and in turn that we can pay you back by helping with whatever your mission is,"

"I'm alright with that. What's the issue?" Nikki folded her arms and tilted her head, regarding the motley crew.

"I'm sure you've noticed, but we're missing someone," Atalante spoke up, stepping to Hektor's side, and subtly slipped in front of her captain by doing so.

"I . . just said, I don't know Greek myths that well. Also, I'm certain there were more than just the five of you in the Argonauts -"

"Heracles, woman, we're talking about Heracles!" Jason barked. "You know, huge, angry, built like a walking statue, always scowling?"

". . No, no I don't, but go on. I don't see anyone matching that description here," Nikki admitted.

"That's because he's being held captive on an island in the northeastern region of this Singularity," Atalante explained. "Some unknown Divine Spirit has brainwashed him somehow. We could defeat her on our own, but not when she has Heracles guarding her. Not without killing him, anyway, and we don't want that,"

"So your answer is . . to find someone who doesn't object to killing Heracles?" Nikki raised an incredulous eyebrow.

"No!" everyone said at once. Including, surprisingly, Olga-Marie.

Everyone except Medea, that is. "Honestly, I'm not opposed, but every time I suggest it this lot shoot me down," she mumbled.

"Don't even think about killing him unless you absolutely have to! Having someone like Heracles on our side? He's worth more than every other Servant you've seen put together!"

"Director! That's very rude!" the Master protested.

"No, she's right, Heracles is that kind of guy," Hektor nodded. None of the others looked thrilled about it but none disagreed.

"Well if this is a rescue mission, then . . I'm not opposed but I don't really see what we can do that you all can't,"

"It's a numbers game, to put it bluntly. Me and Medea are Casters, we're next to useless in a direct fight. We can heal others, but that's about it," Asclepius put forward.

"And while I don't regret taking up the bow and arrow in life, as tools go they are not well-suited to defeating the mountain that is Heracles," Atalante added.

"So, basically, I'm the only one who can tussle with him and not get crushed like a grape, and I'm just not enough on my own," Hektor finished.

"Hey! Aren't you forgetting your wonderful and heroic captain?" Jason snapped.

"Oh, yeah, sure, cap, you're super helpful too," It was hard to tell with the way that Hektor sounded constantly sleep-deprived, but Nikki suspected that he was being sarcastic. Nonetheless, Jason lapped it up.

"I see the problem. I think we can help, but you should know, this isn't the first I've heard of a goddess since coming to this Singularity. A man named Bartholomew Roberts tried to kidnap me on her behalf, and I suspect you and he are thinking of the same person. You mentioned brainwashing? He did sound a bit brainwashed," the bluenette realised with a frown.

"So we have a common enemy, then! Splendid, let us depart at once!" Jason immediately grabbed at her arm, but Atalante elbowed him. "Ow! Ah, right, wait for them to decide to help me. You mentioned,"

Nikki hummed, but nodded. "I can't think of any reason not to, and suspect that the Director won't give me a choice about helping you in any case. Plus, of our two parties, you're the only ones with a ship. Alright, then. I guess we can leave as soon as Astolfo gets back from mugging pirates for their maps,"

The Argonauts cast her a confused look at that, and Nikki grumbled. "Trust me, we'll need them more than they do. I hope one of you's good at navigation,"

X

"Hey. Boy," Tyler and Lily were making their way towards Fafnir's resting place, only to find themselves waylaid by Altria, who was clearly still in a bad way, but at least seemed to have regained her coherence.

"Shouldn't you be resting? I'm not taking you with us, not in that condition. Save your strength," Tyler insisted.

"No. I would have words -" Altria paused. "That is . . I mean . . I need to talk to you,"

"Um. Sure? What's on your mind?"

"Meeting Lancelot today opened my eyes to a truth. I'm not Artoria Pendragon anymore. Not in this state. Especially not compared to you," Altria gestured at Lily, who started a bit. "I cannot continue to act as though I am, I must determine the nature of 'Altria Pendragon', and to achieve that, I -" She paused, seeming to steel herself.

"I gots to be hip with the lingo of the twenny-first cench, ya dig?"

Tyler and Lily stared at her for a long moment, eyes boggling.

". . That was incorrect, wasn't it?" A very faint note of shame crept into her voice, shoulders drooping infinitesimally.

Tyler was the first to recover, stifling a splutter of incredulous laughter. "I - um - never say that again. Wait, actually, you should. That'd be hilarious at parties,"

"I am not trying to be hilarious," Altria growled.

"Right, right, sorry. Uh . . look, changing your accent and speech patterns isn't something I can explain how to do in a brief conversation, it takes a lot of effort, exposure and just generally picking up on context," Tyler paused, and started fishing around in his uniform's pockets. "Fortunately, I might have something that can help,"

After a moment, he produced two small devices of metal and plastic, linked by a cable. "This is my iPhone, and a power pack to make sure it doesn't run out of battery. Since, y'now, no one's going to invent electricity for another four hundred years. No internet, but I have a bunch of books downloaded, as well as some sitcoms and other shows. While we're gone and you're recovering, do some reading and watch them - wait, do you know how to use this?"

"Knowledge of such devices was provided when I was summoned in Fuyuki. I'm certain I'll manage," Altria assured him, accepting the phone. "Thank you. I appreciate this,"

"Eh, I wouldn't have felt safe trying to use it while on dragon back anyway," Tyler admitted. "Enjoy. Let me know if you have questions,"

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter 9: Losing Them

The Hippogriff flew back to the Argo. Nikki had wholly expected to be taken prisoner, but Drake had laughed it off.

"There's no fun to be had capturing someone who came here in good faith! No, go back to that ship of yours. Prepare to defend yourselves. That way it'll be the most fun!"

So Nikki fumed to herself as the Hippogriff flew back to the ship.

"I don't like suggesting this, but you could just leave," Olga-Marie suddenly piped up. "Don't run into the sunk cost fallacy. Let the Argonauts go and fly away, find new allies and figure out how to defeat Drake from there,"

"Sorry, Director, not going to happen," Nikki shook her head. "They made me an honorary Argonaut. That's not the sort of responsibility I can just shrug off,"

". . Of course it is! Jason's the kind of guy who says stupid stuff like that!"

"Be that as it may, I'm not the sort of person to abandon someone who's counting on me. Now, we're landing so I've got to talk to the Greeks. Candidate Nikki, signing off,"

". . Do what you feel like you have to, I suppose,"

A smile tugged at her lips. "Thank you, Director,"

"But don't you dare get yourself killed!"

Astolfo landed on the deck, and the Argonauts crowded around the hippogriff. "So, we're facing the self-proclaimed Queen of the Pirates and her Holy Grail," Nikki summarily launched into a recap of everything that had just happened.

"Was it just the two Servants? We outnumber them three to one. Surely we could take them," Jason scoffed.

"You underestimate how much of a force multiplier a Holy Grail can be. Even if she doesn't have other Servants waiting in the wings, which I doubt, should she grow desperate she can use it to summon more at her leisure," Asclepius retorted.

"It would be one thing if we had Heracles with us, but as is," Atalante trailed off, the words not needing to be said.

"I just don't see how we're going to get out of this," Nikki sighed.

Despondent looks were exchanged around the Argonauts, until Astolfo cheerily piped up. "Well, we could always get lost?"

". . excuse me?"

"We've still got a few miles between us and the Golden Hind. That's plenty of space to get lost in,"

"I'm sorry. You're suggesting that I trigger whatever magical bullshit sent us to the other end of the Singularity for a second time today . .on purpose," Nikki checked.

"Yeah! What's the worst that could happen?"

"Absurd though it sounds, it does seem like it might be our best course of action," Asclepius pointed out with a wry smile.

". . . This is my life now. Fine, sure, whatever,"

And so it was that Nikki found herself standing on the prow of the Argo, trying desperately to identify and consciously activate whatever glitch in her magecraft abilities had been born of her terrible sense of direction. "The point where we will meet that ship is where we are going," she told herself. "We are going to go in a straight line and we will get there. We will get there by going in a straight line,"

Because, for once, they were paying attention, Astolfo frowned and looked down. "Hey, the ship's turning. Is someone manning the tiller?"

"It's a trireme, it doesn't have a tiller. But no, no one's steering,"

"Uh. I don't know how this happened, everyone, but the Golden Hind is gone!" Atalante called down from the crow's nest.

"What happened?"

"I . . I don't know! I just . . looked away, I don't even know why I looked away. Something just caught my eye, and . . I suppose we must have moved somehow in the half-second when I wasn't looking at anything?" The huntress sounded genuinely baffled, shaking her head as though that would somehow make the world make sense.

"If we're safe, I think that's good enough," Asclepius ascertained.

"Yes! Quite! That was such a good plan, that I came up with. Three cheers for Captain Jason!" Everyone ignored the so-called captain.

"Safe might be a stretch, there's another island up ahead," Nikki warned the Servants.

Medea joined her, and beamed. "Oh, hey, that's the island of Minos! That's where we were trying to go in the first place!"

"It is?" Immediately, Nikki turned around, covered her eyes, and started walking blindly down the deck of the Argo. "Then I am going to look away and think very hard about the place we just left. If, whatever this is, is activated by me focusing too hard on where I'm going, maybe this way we'll actually get where we mean to,"

"Everyone else, watch that island! It sort of sounded like getting lost happens when no one's paying attention. If we all observe it at the same time, there's no way we can all get distracted at once!" Atalante commanded.

Thirty minutes later, the Argo ran aground, and Medea whooped. "We made it at last!"

"Don't celebrate yet," Astolfo was quick to puncture her glee. "We've still gotta make sure this is the same island we've been looking at for the last half hour,"

"What? Of course it . . actually, you're right," the petite Caster realised. "We can't take anything of the sort for granted,"

X

Meanwhile, Drake was furiously scouring the horizon with a telescope. "What? They can't have just vanished! How is this possible?!"

Anne sighed. "All the crew's stories line up. Something distracted every last one of them and caused them to look away for just a moment. Including us," she fumed, and Mary weighed in. "When they looked back, the ship was just gone. No one saw how," Still grumbling, Anne finished, "Sorry, Captain, but it does look like we've lost them,"

"I don't know why but I feel like that was a pun, and that really pisses me off right now!"

X

"You know, I still have a lot of questions for you," Lily told Kiyohime as they walked back to where Fafnir was waiting outside town. "How do you know Master Tyler, anyway? I'm sure he's never met you before,"

"Oh, I don't, this is my first time meeting him too. But onee-chan said that when I met a Master from Chaldea who smelled like a dragon, I should stay with him and love him and protect him no matter what because he's my one and only beloved Master-sama who I'm going to be with forever and ever!"

"You keep saying that word, what does it mean?" Tyler asked.

"Onee-chan?"

"It translates to 'big sister'," Da Vinci told them.

"Who's your big sister?" Lily pressed the point.

"Uhhh," Kiyohime looked away. "I don't think I'm allowed to tell you that,"

"Well, that's not something a trustworthy person would say," the Caster in the command room informed them.

Suddenly, Fafnir growled, and the three looked up to see they'd arrived. "Hey, Lord Fafnir," Tyler waved. "This is Kiyohime, she's our new recruit. She is acting a bit suspicious though,"

"I'm not suspicious! I'd never lie to you! To anyone! Never, ever!"

"That checks out," Da Vinci interjected. "I'm browsing Kiyohime's source legend now. It's basically a moral fable telling Japanese children why they should never lie to people or an angry dragon might eat them,"

Tyler winced, remembering the form his Berserker had taken while using her Noble Phantasm. "How specific,"

"Okay, so maybe you're genuine, but what about your 'big sister'? Could she have lied to you? Be manipulating you?" Lily questioned.

"No! Onee-chan would never lie to me! She wouldn't and she couldn't, it's that simple, so everything she said about my Master-sama being my one and only Master-sama who I'll love and protect forever and ever must have been true!" Kiyohime yelled.

The Saber's questioning was relentless. "And why are you so sure? Who is she?"

"Ugh, onee-chan is onee-chan! She's like me, but bigger and smarter!"

Tyler and Lily exchanged baffled looks, but Da Vinci leant forward with an intrigued expression. "Are you saying that your big sister is a Servant derived from a different aspect of the Heroic Spirit Kiyohime?"

"I guess? I dunno,"

"So, probably not someone with nefarious intentions then," Lily surmised.

"Assuming it actually was another version of Kiyohime and not some kind of impostor, I think we can trust her. Again, she can't lie. It's a violation of her nature," Da Vinci argued.

"Honestly, that's good enough for me," Tyler determined. "Lord Fafnir? We're just about done here, are you ready to attack Rouen?"

With an agreeable snort, Fafnir extended a foreleg so that they could climb up.

"Thank you, Master-sama!" Kiyohime squealed and pulled him into another hug. "I'll be the best Servant you could have ever wanted, I promise!"

"Heh, so you've got competition, Lily," Tyler chuckled and guided both Servants onto the back of the dragon. As soon as they were secured and strapped in, the mighty black dragon leapt into the air, wings snapping outwards and catching the wind, wheeling and heading back to the north.

"Hey. Kiyohime?" Tyler asked the dragon-girl, who was hugging him from behind with her head nestled on his shoulder.

"Yes, Master-sama?"

"Okay, first, stop calling me that. I've watched enough anime to know 'sama' is an honorific I do not deserve,"

"Onee-chan said you'd say that, but I wanted to hear it from you. Alright, Master!"

"Good. But, earlier . . you said you were going to love me,"

"Oh. Did I? Sorry, Master. I must have misspoken,"

It was what he'd expected. He really shouldn't be feeling the crushing disappointment in his guts. What sort of weirdo was okay with someone they'd just met declaring their undying love for him anyway? "I see,"

"I meant to say that I do love you! Not just in the future, right now too!"

"What?!" he exclaimed.

"I said that I love you," Kiyohime repeated, squeezing his stomach, heedless of the flutters it stirred in a part of him that he'd thought dead for years.

"And . . do you love me just because your onee-chan said you would?" He still didn't believe it. He couldn't.

"What? No, don't be silly. I'm not that suggestible,"

"But, then, why?"

"Because," the Berserker shrugged as though it were obvious. "You supported me. You trusted me. I mean, I didn't think onee-chan was lying, but I did try to reserve judgement, I really did! But then," she giggled. "Well, so far everything you've done tells me that you're just the kind of person I really love! I mean I might be wrong. But I don't think I am,"

Tyler digested this. His chest felt warm. Why was that?

"Hey, mind if I ask you a question too?"

"Sure,"

"Are you sure you're not Anchim?" Kiyohime tilted her head, doing her best to look innocent.

". . uh, I don't know what that means?"

"Oh, you know, Anchim! The man I loved when I was alive. The man who lied to me. Used me. Discarded me. Rejected me. The man I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate but still love so much! So I burned him to death," Her same innocent smile was suddenly radically out of place, and both Tyler and Lily were staring at her for some reason. Even Fafnir tilted his head and shot Kiyohime as incredulous a look as Tyler had ever seen from him.

"Anyway, I'm asking because I can't shake the feeling that someone as wonderful as you just has to be Anchim reincarnated, but onee-chan said that she was one hundred percent sure that you weren't. And I don't think she would have lied to me but she might have made a mistake? So, what do you think, Master?"

It took Tyler a moment to collect his thoughts. "Kiyohime. Don't take this the wrong way, but Anchim sounds like a terrible person and you deserve someone much better than him. I don't know why you think that's me, because I'm really not that kind of person, but I'd like to think I'm better than someone who would use you and throw you away. So, for your sake and mine, I really hope there's no connection whatsoever between me and Anchim,"

The Berserker mulled this over. "Huh. I guess that makes sense. No matter what the truth actually is, I guess if you don't want there to be a connection then there really can't be, or at least we should all do our best to act like that's how things are. Okay! I'm okay with that,"

Tyler considered this. ". . Good enough for me,"

"And me!" Kiyohime promptly resumed nuzzling into his shoulder. "Master-sam - oop! Sorry. Tehe,"

X

The Argonauts trooped onto the beach of the Shapeless Isle.

"Why do they call it that, anyway?" Nikki idly asked.

"I dunno. I mean, it has a shape. Not a very clearly defined shape, but a shape," Medea shrugged.

"Ah, you women just don't understand the value of a good, foreboding name! Names should be evocative! They should tell someone what sort of place it is, or what sort of person one is!"

"Or, names could just be names," Nikki pointed out.

"Oh, as if someone who merely calls herself 'Nikki', would understand," Jason scoffed and strode ahead.

The Master and Caster exchanged a glance. "Didn't you stab him or something in Proper Human History?"

"I poisoned the skank he cheated on me with and clubbed him to death, but, splitting hairs. Why?"

"If you wanna hold a historical re-enactment, I'm down,"

Medea giggled girlishly. "Y'now, you're not so bad for a fourth-rate Magus with the navigational skills of a drunk goldfish,"

"And you're growing on me despite being a miniature copy of a witch who the world only remembered because Euripides thought ruining that guy's life was hilarious," she retorted with a gesture at Jason.

For a second, Nikki and a Medea matched death-glares. Then Medea cackled, and Nikki chuckled.

"C'mon, let's go see what my idiot husband's about to blunder into,"

"Yeah, you all mentioned a goddess? Now might be a good time for some more details," Nikki asked the group at large.

"From what I saw, she's short, wears black, is very beautiful if you're into the 'small women' sort of thing, and is trying to build herself an army of big, bulky men," Medea summarised.

Nikki grimaced. "I'm very curious about who exactly we're dealing with now,"

They made their way up the hill, making for the highest point of the island, but were waylaid by the sight of an evidently Greek temple set into a hill.

"That . . is that a shrine?" the Master questioned.

A chorus of "Yep," "Looks like," "Pretty normal," "Sure is!" came from the Argonauts.

"No. No, we are in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Islands and pirate shantytowns are one thing, but there should not be a Greek temple here,"

"Maybe it got lost," Jason sneered.

Every other member of the group shot him an irritated look, if only for his tone.

"Regardless of whoever created this Singularity's historical inaccuracies, this is the right place. Only, I don't see any sign of Heracles," Atalante frowned. "I'm going to go and scout the edges of the island,"

"No need!" With a buzz of static, a hologram appeared on Nikki's wrist, showing Dr. Roman scrutinising something they couldn't see. "I'm defecting not one but two Berserker-class Spirit Origins on the north coast of the island. Sorry for not saying so before, but this island's large enough that they only just came in range,"

"Maybe we should upgrade the scanning equipment for next time, then," the Master observed, folding her arms.

"There's also a Divine Spirit that seems to be occupying an Archer class container. Unfortunately, that doesn't tell us much on it's own,"

"I'll go take a look, then. The rest of you, follow, but don't get close enough that they notice you. We'll need to prepare a plan for this encounter, I'm sure of it,"

Thus, as Atalante bounded away, they started walking. Or, at least most of them did. After a few moments of more peace and quiet than they were used to, Nikki realised something was off. "Hey, where's Jason?"

"Looting the temple," the Argonauts answered in resigned chorus.

". . And we're just allowing that?"

"We're likely to be equally productive without him. Knowing him, he'll turn up in the middle of the inevitable fight, say something dramatic like 'Jason is here to save the day!' and do just enough to help that it turns the tide in our favour and lets us claim victory," Asclepius philosophically shrugged.

Nikki just pinched the bridge of her nose and looked down as she walked. "It's not enough to kill my sense of awe and wonder at the Greek legends, is it? You have to feed its corpse into the meat-grinder too,"

They halted at the edge of the beach, where they could dimly see two behemoths framing a petite figure. Atalante rejoined them, her lips pursed. "This doesn't look good. They're expecting us,"

"She's some kind of love goddess, right? Or something like that?"

"We don't know, but she has those two wrapped around her finger. We probably shouldn't kill her, though, whatever she's done to Heracles and the other beefcake might need her alive to undo it,"

"Right. Okay, we need at least three plans for what to do here. Atalante, Medea, as women you're the only ones immune to her charms. Fortunately, she looks physically weak. Plan A is the two of you and I engage with the goddess while Hektor, Astolfo and Taisui distract the Berserkers and Asclepius supports them. Don't fight to win, just stall them while we defeat her and force her to break her spell. If someone goes down, we switch to Plan B. In that case, Atalante, I'll want you to use your Noble Phantasm as a distraction to give us some cover while Asclepius gets to whoever went down and heals them. Plan C is if Asclepius goes down. If that happens, Medea, break off from the goddess, Atalante will have to hold her attention alone. You have some healing abilities right?"

"I do. What if more than one person is injured at the same time? We are fighting two Berserkers, and who knows what sort of tricks that goddess is capable of?"

Nikki gritted her teeth. "Plan D, then, is where I'll get involved. I know we've been putting it off because none of you know me, but I really feel like you should all make contracts with me. That way in an emergency, I can use my Command Spells to heal you. And, if all else fails, Plan E -"

"How about we put Plan E ahead of all those other plans and make it the plan where you listen to what we have to say before any fighting?" A sweet voice interrupted their strategy session, and the group rounded to see that, while they'd been planning out the battle, the pink-haired goddess and her two guards had advanced on them and were now only a few metres away.

After a long moment of tense stand-off, Nikki groaned. "I just lost my situational awareness, didn't I?"

"Honestly. It's so rude of you to keep us waiting. Our mission is important, damnit . . though I suppose I can forgive it, since you brought back some strong allies. Very well,"

The statement was so out of left field that it took everyone a moment to parse it.

"What mission? Why are you talking like we're all working together?" Nikki finally asked.

"Because that's the only way we're going to survive what's coming. Fighting now would be stupid,"

"What about Heracles? You brainwashed him!" Hektor accused.

"Hn?" The bulky grey giant cast him a look that was somehow disparaging, and then shook his head.

". . this old man doesn't get it. Are you saying you're not brainwashed?"

"Nah!" Heracles snorted, and beckoned, starting to walk off.

"Okay, the situation is changing very fast and I think I'm missing some context here. What is going on? Is this the brainwashing?"

"Oh, you poor, foolish human. You have entirely the wrong idea," the goddess scoffed. "Honestly. Brainwashing. That's my sister's thing, not mine. In this form, the most I can do is make people fall in love with me, and that's only temporary anyway,"

"Hold on. So, when we saw Heracles with you before, Medea was wrong to assume you were controlling him?"

"Yes, I thought we covered this already," the goddess grumbled. "Look. My name is Euryale. You might have heard of my sister? Medusa? She was always much more famous than me, even though I'm much more beautiful. This is Asterios," she gestured to one of her guards, a tall man with a mane of white hair, long red horns and dull eyes to match, "and you all already know Heracles. I don't know why you're all so sure that we should be fighting, but it's a distraction that we really can't afford compared to the real threat,"

"What's the 'real threat'?" Nikki frowned.

"It would be easier to just show you. Come, come," the gorgon beckoned, sidling down the beach.

With a gleeful scream, a gold-clad figure suddenly crashed into Euryale and knocked her to the ground, promptly picking himself up and striking a heroic pose with his foot on her back. "Jason is here to save the day!"

Asterios grabbed him by the collar and lifted him into the air, red eyes boring into his soul, as everyone else cast him looks on a spectrum of annoyed to livid.

". . is something wrong?"

"We weren't even fighting, you pathetic fool!"

X

Before nightfall, Fafnir and his passengers had rejoined the main French forces on their approach to Rouen, and the army was pitching camp for the night a few miles outside the town.

"You'd better get some rest, Master. Tomorrow's going to be a big day," Lily told him in passing.

"I will, don't worry. I'm just going to clear my head a bit. Enjoy the peaceful night air, you know? Might be my last chance for a while," he replied, wandering towards the outskirts of camp.

The gentle noise of a stream guided him to a nearby hill, and he started to see someone sitting on the riverbank. Then he squinted a bit more and realised that it was just Jeanne.

For a second, he considered turning and leaving her to her thoughts, but then he shook his head. It was the eve of battle, the fate of the world hinged on their victory. If there was ever a time to try to overcome his social awkwardness, it was now.

"Hey," he offered, sliding into a seat next to the Saint.

"Oh, Tyler. What brings you out here?"

"Ah, just having a walk. Saw you brooding, and I think it's a trope or something to have a heartfelt conversation before the big fight," he explained.

"A . . what?"

". . right, village girl from the fourteenth century. When we get back to Chaldea I'm introducing you to anime," he promised.

"I'll just take your word for that," Jeanne shrugged in response.

A moment of silence passed.

". . so, the stars are nice out tonight," Tyler finally offered.

He twisted and eyed the saint as she burst into uncharacteristic giggles. "Oh gosh. Sorry, sorry, I'm not laughing at you, just . . you really are bad at talking to people. Aren't you?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "It's one thing when we're fighting. Or planning a fight. Or just have some kind of task in general. But casual, small talk?" He sighed and stared up at the stars.

"Aw," Jeanne offered a sympathetic hum. "You're right. I take them for granted, but they really are nice. Pity about the big circle, though,"

"Wait, the what?" Tyler followed her gaze and saw, floating in the air high in the atmosphere, a dim ring of blue light. "Huh . . was that always there?"

"It wasn't when I was alive, but it's been there since I was summoned back to this time," Jeanne hummed. "Maybe it's part of the Singularity. You visited another one before this, right? Was there one there too?"

"Fuyuki was overcast the whole time, I never got a good look at the sky. Guess we'll find out in the next Singularity we visit,"

Another moment of silence passed.

"Can I ask you a weird question?" Tyler piped up.

"Within reason,"

"Oh, not something, like, creepy-weird. Just . . What's it like? To die?"

Jeanne stiffened. "Why would you ask that?"

"Because it might happen. What we're doing is dangerous. I've been on the fringes of every fight so far and I'm still covered in bruises. I don't want to give up, or quit. The whole world's counting on us. But I guess I'm not arrogant enough to assume that everything will be okay in the end. We already lost one ally, and I don't like it but I'm sure we'll lose more. It'd be way too arrogant to assume I'm invincible, so,"

"I don't know," Jeanne replied. "I don't remember the moment of my death. One moment there was fire and agony as I burned, and the next I'm drawing a blank. I suppose it's part of being a Servant. Whatever comes next is something we can't tell the living about,"

"Ahh. Well that's a pity. Guess it would have been nice to know if the pearly gates are real or what. I'll just have to hope I don't find out any time soon, then,"

"Not if I can help it, you won't,"

"Oh, well, of course not. I'm the only Master here, without me everything kinda goes to shit," Tyler nodded.

"No. Because you deserve it," the Ruler corrected him. "You have your whole life ahead of you. The rest of us, we're all just ghosts. We might say that you're the only real person in this broken little chunk of reality. If anyone here deserves to live to see the future we're fighting for, it's you. The rest of us already had that chance, after all," She sighed and mumbled something.

"What was that?"

"Oh, it's nothing. I'm just reflecting on a little problem of my own. Don't concern yourself with -"

"Nope. I've seen and performed that routine too many times. Come on, holy maiden. What's eating you?"

Jeanne sighed, twisting to glance at him. "My death . . isn't the only thing I can't remember. There are other gaps, a lot of them. My childhood, some of my time with my family members . . and all the times God spoke to me,"

"You don't remember . . is that part of being a Servant too? That shouldn't be how it works. If I remember right, you hearing the voice of God was a massive part of your legend. It shouldn't be possible for you to forget something that important, even if you can't hear him now that we're in a Singularity,"

"And so you understand why I'm so concerned,"

Tyler blinked and bit his lip. "Right. Yeah. Well, there has to be a reason for it, right? Did you hit your head at any point since being summoned?"

"You think I lost part of my memory due to brain trauma?" An amused smile tugged at her lips.

"Hey, Altria got a concussion that she's still sleeping off. I'm honestly not all that sure what a Servant's capable of compared to a normal human. Heh. Can you believe that three days ago I was an intern who'd only just found out that magic was real?"

"You've been handling it well,"

"That's just the genre savviness talking. I'm probably just putting off some massive nervous breakdown,"

Jeanne's face flashed with concern. "I see. If you'd like to just, get something off your chest, I'm happy to listen,"

"Don't think I'm quite there yet. Thank you, though,"

"My pleasure," Jeanne assured him.

For a few comfortable moments, everything they were fighting for faded away, and one of Humanity's last Masters and the holy maiden of Orleans were just a pair of teenagers relaxing in the starlight.

X

"What in the hell am I looking at," It wasn't even a question, just words that Nikki couldn't stop from escaping her lips.

At the northern edge of the island was a hole in the ocean. That was the only way to describe it. A region below them, attached to the northern coast of Shapeless, where the ocean fell away into a mile-deep depression. At the bottom of it rested another island, which looked as though it had once borne a Greek city. The city, though, was destroyed, buildings collapsed and reduced to rubble, including the centremost structure; a temple that would have dwarfed the one they'd just seen on the island were it intact. The island was partially flooded, and the ruins extended below the water level as far as they could see, telling them that the city had originally been much larger than the meagre couple of square kilometres that were currently above water.

Crouching among the rubble of the city was a towering man, at least twenty feet tall, holding a trident in one hand and raising a golden cup in the other. Seawater was spilling out of the cup and flowing into the ocean.

"Dr. Roman, what am I looking at?"

Back in the control room, the doctor was at a loss for words. "That can't be. It's another Holy Grail! It doesn't match the frequency of Drake's, though - this one must be native to this period of time!"

"Nevermind the Grail. Who's that holding it?"

"That's the god Poseidon, of course. Or what's left of him, at any rate," Euryale serenely explained. "See, right here and right now, Poseidon is on the verge of death. Humans are conquering the seas, pushing him out. He's decided he'd rather flood the world than let humanity make him irrelevant, and that Holy Grail is letting him do it,"

Chapter Text

As the sky went dark, the Chaldeans, Argonauts and miscellaneous additions to the group reconvened in the temple at the centre of the island of Minos.

"Are we quite certain that this is the island of Minos? Only, Minos had a city on it," Asclepius idly asked as they walked.

"This, island. Has Labyrinth. Labyrinth is under Minos. So this Minos. Must be,"

"Asterios' logic is perfect. Since it's not the Shapeless Isle, I don't really care what island this is. Hence, it might as well be Minos," Euryale concurred as they reached the temple - the temple that Nikki suddenly realised was the entrance to the Labyrinth of Daedalus.

For some reason, Euryale and Asterios stopped dead. "Where are all of our belongings?" Euryale hissed.

Heracles growled and turned to Jason. After a second, so did the rest of the Argonauts, and it only took a moment for the Chaldeas and locals to notice and follow suit.

". . why are you all looking at me?"

After Jason had been thoroughly scoured of stolen property, the group sat down.

"So," Nikki looked around the group. "To save the world, we need to kill a god. On a scale of one to ten, I'd give that a nine for being impossible. Anyone know how to do that?"

"Do we need to kill him? If we can just get the Holy Grail away from him, he'd be kinda buggered," Astolfo shrugged, clicking his tongue.

"He's still a Divine Spirit. Even if this is him at his weakest, he'll survive long enough to drown us all in retribution. Especially since doing so will let him take back the Grail and restore himself," Euryale shook her head.

"Right. Well. Does anyone have a god-killing Noble Phantasm in their back pocket?"

Heracles rumbled a negative. The rest of the Argonauts followed suit, Jason chiming in with "I'm sure I could, but maybe we should explore other options first?" which everyone knew was Jason-speak for 'no'.

"My second Noble Phantasm could weaken him, but killing's probably a no go," Astolfo grimaced.

"I'm effectively in the same boat. It's one thing for me to be a Divine Spirit, but that doesn't put me on par with an Olympian," Euryale grumbled.

The remainder all exchanged hesitant glances, but an unexpected voice piped up. "I can do it," Taisui said in a low voice.

Everyone turned and looked at him.

"You know, I'd honestly forgotten you were there," Jason said in wonder.

"It probably won't work anyway, nevermind," he mumbled.

"No, no, we have here a lot of people who know they can't do it and one person who thinks they maybe can. That puts you ahead of everyone else," Nikki argued. "What have you got?"

Taisui sighed. "My Noble Phantasm. It's a form of divine punishment. I did tell you that I was a Pseudo-Divine Spirit, but you probably forgot. I think it'll overwhelm his Authority. If I can get an opening, at least,"

"We didn't forget," Nikki assured him. "It sounds like you might be our best option. Okay. We'll need a battle plan, then. Euryale, Heracles, Asterios was it? I need you to tell me how your Noble Phantasms work, so I can factor them in," She looked around the motley collection of Heroic Spirits, faces set. "We can do this. We need to,"

X

Fafnir had been watching the final hostile settlement of the Singularity from a distance since they'd arrived the previous day. On the morning of Tyler's third day in the Singularity, the French army was ready to march.

The Servants had gathered in the vanguard, save for Gilles, who was bringing up the rear of the first squadron. No one objected; keeping the Caster out of direct combat and letting him work his magic from the rear was the best way to use his abilities.

"So, just to recap, there's no point in making any particular plans to deal with certain enemies, because we have no idea what sort of Servants we might have to deal with. The best we can do is guess maybe Shakespeare, assuming that little rat hasn't buried himself in the sand somewhere," Jeanne told the assembled group of heroes (plus Master, plus dragon). "Fafnir is a game-changer, and they know it. He's our greatest asset. If we're right and the British do have the Holy Grail, there's a pretty good chance that they'll have summoned a dragon-slayer of some kind, specifically to take him out of play,"

"We beat Siegfried, though," Charlotte pointed out. "Where are they going to get another dragon slayer? There can't be that many,"

"Perhaps not, but there are enough. And considering the composition of our group, it would be the only logical choice. Even if they don't know about Kiyohime, both of the King Arthurs are technically also dragons," Vlad rumbled. "Depending on just what kind of conceptual bonuses they have, even my tenuous connection to the concept of 'dragon' may be enough for a dragon slayer to gain the advantage over me,"

"Wait, you have a dragon thing?" Tyler asked. "How? I don't remember hearing anything like that,"

"The," Vlad gnashed his teeth, "D-word, originally means 'little dragon'. It was my childhood nickname, after my father, Dracul,"

"Oh, jeez, so they really just took your childhood memory and wrecked it. I already sympathised, but, damn," Altria commiserated. Vlad nodded with a faint glower at nothing in particular.

"Not that we don't all agree that Vlad's legend sucks, but getting back to the point," Jeanne interjected. "As for whether or not they could summon another dragon slayer, there aren't that many but there are enough that we can't rule it out. The only ones here who a dragon-slayer definitely wouldn't have the upper hand against are myself and d'Eon. So, d'Eon, when the fighting starts I want you to hang back and try to figure out if the enemy has a dragon slayer, and who it is. Engage them, and I'll try to stay close enough that you can signal me for help. Vlad, you and I are about on par in terms of strength. If I'm fighting someone and have to break off to help d'Eon, I want you ready to take over my opponent for me,"

"Understood," Vlad nodded.

"Yes, as you wish," d'Eon agreed.

"Altria. Are you sure you're feeling better?" Jeanne addressed the corrupted Servant.

"Raring to go," Altria assured her.

"Good. I've got something special in mind for you. As for the rest of you. You all know what you can do and how to do it best. Master, I want you with Fafnir. Stay on his back and stay in the sky. From there you can coordinate the rest of us, if something goes wrong I want you to notice and tell us what to do. In the meantime, Fafnir will summon wyverns from the Reverse Side of the World to augment our forces. We'll strategise more on the fly. Lily, Altria, you're with me, everyone else spread out and do your jobs. Break!"

With a series of nods, smiles, and other acknowledgements, the Servants split up. Tyler rejoined Fafnir, and scrutinised the black dragon. "How are you feeling, Lord Fafnir?"

The dragon looked in the direction of Rouen and snorted disparagingly, extending his foreleg and letting the Master climb into his back again.

"Glad to hear it. Let's go fix this Singularity,"

"You said it, Master!"

Tyler started. "Kiyohime? What're you doing here?"

"Protecting my Master, of course," the greenette explained.

"Jeanne said she wanted all the Servants on the ground, ready to engage enemy Servants. I'll be up in the air with Fafnir,"

"I don't care! I don't want to leave your side!" she protested.

"Kiyohime," Tyler held up his hands and made a 'settle down' motion. "Trust Fafnir. He's your senpai as a dragon, isn't he? I think I'm using that word right. I know you want to protect me, and that's amazing, but whether or not you're down there to help fight might be the difference between victory and defeat. Besides, say, on the off chance, we do run into an enemy Servant who can fly. Can you fly?"

". . well . . no," she mumbled.

"Do you have ranged abilities?"

"Not any really good ones . ."

"I didn't think so. We need to play to our strengths here, and being up there with me isn't where you're strongest. I have faith in you. It'll be okay,"

"If you're certain, Master . ." Kiyohime pouted and screwed up her face, seemingly hoping ther sheer adorableness might get Tyler to change his mind.

If he was being honest with himself, it came close. "No. Now go fight. Go impress me," he coaxed, nodding encouragingly.

"O-okay! On it! See you soon, Master!" With a sunny smile, she scrambled away, making for the front lines.

"I still don't know what she sees in me, but she's really freaking cute," Tyler mumbled.

Fafnir made a choked roar that sounded like a laugh, twisting his neck to eye his passenger.

". . And what are you looking at me like that for?"

The dragon just bared his fangs in an almost playful grin and bobbed his head.

". . What does that look mean?" Tyler spluttered.

Still making odd chuffing noises that sounded like draconic laughter, Fafnir's wings swept out and he took to the air. From the sky, Tyler could see the lead contingent of the French army starting to march, led by Jeanne and Lily.

X

"My king. The enemy approaches us," Shakespeare reported. He was in the commandeered town hall of Rouen, which the Servants opposing the offensive of Jeanne d'Arc had taken over as their base of operations.

"Is Jeanne d'Arc with them?" his commander asked.

"She leads the charge, another at her back. Artoria Pendragon, I believe,"

"Good. Then I shall be the wall against which her little revolution breaks," The man stood.

"My king? What do you mean? Are you to fight?"

"In a manner of speaking. Beowulf, Robin, Shakespeare, accompany me. We will go and deploy our defences,"

Two more Servants emerged as the king left the building, and Shakespeare followed behind them.

"What about me, your Majesty?" a fifth voice asked.

"You're our last line of defence. If all else fails, I want you to find and confront the enemy. Salvage the situation if you can. We cannot fall today, no matter what it takes,"

X

"There's someone coming out of the town!" Lily pointed out.

"Not just one person. I see four," Jeanne replied, shading her eyes with the hand that wasn't carrying a massive white banner. "Who goes there?"

"I take it that you would claim the name of Jeanne d'Arc, the Maiden of Orleans?" the strange Servant yelled back. He was clad in armour, with dark hair. They recognised Shakespeare as one of his companions; the others included a muscled blond man who lacked a shirt and a hooded man in green with a bow slung over his back.

"I sure am! Who are you?"

"The one who will put an end to your blasphemous efforts to doom this world,"

They had just enough time to wonder what he meant by that, but the man standing at the forefront raised his hands and chanted. "Never shall we yield! Though we may perish, our homeland remains eternal! By These Threefold Walls I Swear: Theodosius Constantinus!"

The ground cracked before them, before lifting up. Earth and bedrock warped into stone battlements, elevating the enemy Servants and putting them out of easy reach for the attackers. To the left and right, entirely encircling the town of Rouen, the barriers stretched as far as the eye could see.

"God damn. A defensive fortification as a Noble Phantasm?" Jeanne blinked, then shook her head. "Who are you?"

"I am King Constantine the Eleventh!" the man yelled, striding to the edge of the wall with his red cape billowing in the wind. He looked down at the two blonde Servants leading the French soldiers, who had halted a hundred metres from his wall. "The hero who held the besieged city of Constantinople against the Persians! It will be my honour to put an end to your conquest, you who would claim the name of Jeanne d'Arc!"

Before their eyes, British soldiers appeared on the wall, manning the fortifications.

Jeanne stared up at him, defiance in her eyes. "Is this your solution? A siege? We will wait you out, if we must. How long can your magic hold out?"

"As long as it has to, I assure you," Constantine retorted.

"We'll see about that. Lily, how's your sword? Think you can take a few sword beam potshots?"

"I don't think I should use my magic so frivolously," Lily frowned.

"Tch, fair enough,"

"Something appears to be wrong with this Jeanne," Shakespeare frowned, scrutinising the figure before them.

Constantine cast him a sharp look. "Wrong how?"

"Even considering what she is, she's unexpectedly vulgar," Robin weighed in.

Shakespeare nodded. "I have observed this thing before, back then, she did attempt to feign some niceties,"

"You're still doing the iambic pentameter thing, huh?" Beowulf growled.

"They're ignoring us. Lily, as interim leader of the French army I order you to start taking potshots,"

"Don't say things like that so smugly!" the petite Saber snapped.

Constantine's musings were interrupted as a messenger came pelting down the wall, yelling at the top of his lungs. "Sire! There's another contingent of soldiers charging towards the western side of the wall!"

"So what?" Constantine snapped at the soldier.

"They're being led by Jeanne d'Arc!"

"What? But," the King looked down at the woman who was standing before him at the base of the wall, troops arrayed behind her. "How is this possible?!"

"Yeah! About that!" the woman in black yelled, throwing away her banner and removing the M-shaped crest from her forehead. "Funny coincidence, but did you know that Jeanne d'Arc bears a striking resemblance to the King of Knights?"

"Oh no," the Byzantine Servant mumbled. "This was a diversion. They baited us!"

"Yep!" Altria yelled with a smirk. "Sorry to be the one to tell you, but Gilles spent most of last night making this little disguise for me! You've been had!"

"Beowulf! Shakespeare! Go reinforce the west wall!" Constantine snapped.

"But, the plan, my lord -"

"The plan presumed that the leader would be here and the King of Knights elsewhere! There are two versions of Artoria Pendragon down there, and everyone knows that Excalibur is an Anti-Fortress Noble Phantasm. Now that she's here, it's only a matter of minutes until these walls fall, unless Robin and I defeat them here and now. And, as much as I'd love to fight her four on two, our true enemy and the dragon are both attacking the west wall as we speak, so even if we prevail it's meaningless if that thing gets into Rouen and starts massacring the people. Go!"

With that, Constantine threw himself off his wall and landed in a three-point superhero pose before the French representatives.

"That thing, huh? You really don't give Fafnir much credit," Altria huffed.

"Yeah, he's a really nice guy, for a Phantasmal Beast," Lily agreed.

"I wasn't talking about the evil black dragon. Though I'll admit, I'm hardly a fan of his either. No, I mean the abomination you're impersonating,"

Both Sabers cast him a confused look. "Are you talking about Jeanne?"

"Hardly. That entity is not Jeanne d'Arc. It can't be. Do you really think that the Maiden of Orleans would wage a bloody war like this just for her own pride? She's not that selfish!"

"But -" Lily started, but Altria held up a hand, drawing Excalibur with the other. "Save it. He's made up his mind, and after insulting Jeanne like that I honestly don't want to talk him down. Let's just kill him and -" She leapt to the side as an arrow landed in the ground, then glared upwards at the battlement, where a man in a green hood was reloading his bow. "Really?"

"You were taking too long," Robin Hood yelled down at her.

"Oh, that tears it. Lily, make like the Big Bad Wolf and blow his house down. I'm gonna deal with the pig!" Altria snapped, charging at Constantine.

In the seconds it took her to meet him, she strategised. Constantine was afraid of Excalibur; he knew it was a direct counter to his Theodosius Constantinus. He didn't know that her magical energy reserves were limited and that she had one shot at best. As long as she could keep him believing that if he disengaged her, she would turn around and wreck his walls, she could keep him pinned down. Further, with his energy being drained by maintaining his Noble Phantasm, neither of them had an even half-decent trump card.

Two Servants without Noble Phantasms, both suffering from energy limitations. Even if things went bad, she just had to hold out until d'Eon, Kiyohime or Charlotte showed up and tipped the odds in her favour. Or until Lily managed to hit the Archer who'd stayed on the wall.

Their swords met, both lunging at each other and bouncing off. Bracing herself against her left foot, Altria swung again, and Constantine's blade rose to meet hers.

"You're not bad," she offered, as their blades met again.

"Well, I am a Servant," Constantine self-deprecatingly replied, twisting his blade and opening a hole in her guard. He stabbed, and Altria narrowly slid out of the way, then flinched as the Rider expertly redirected his sword to cut into her side, then whipped back before she could land a blow in return.

Excalibur swung into his guard anyway, and he staggered but held the blow. "Really making the most of that Rider agility, aren't we?" she snorted.

"A measure in which you seem to be woefully lacking," Constantine replied evenly. "You have power, but no finesse,"

"Oh, I'll finesse the shit out of you!" Altria snapped, being another crushing overhead blow against his guard even as she stepped back. The tip of Excalibur met the edge of Constantine's sword, and she grinned, pulling it back enough that it slid past his defensive stance, and then thrust as it fell, aiming to spear his throat.

Constantine brought his guard down, deflecting the sword down and to the right, turning a fatal blow to the throat into a crippling strike to the hip. "Alright," he grumbled. "That wasn't bad,"

Meanwhile, Lily had been forced to keep dancing around by Robin Hood's unending stream of arrows. By some tacit agreement, the battle had gone from two-on-two to a pair of one-on-one clashes, one in melee, one at range.

Lily wasn't happy with this turn of events; she was not good at range. But she knew Altria was worse. "Why does our entire group not have a single Archer?" she mumbled, narrowly avoiding another arrow to her shoulder.

A flash of motion on the wall caught her eye, and she saw Charlotte all but dancing between the oblivious soldiers that fell one by one to consecutive backstabs as she worked her way towards Robin Hood. A smile tugged at her lips. Charlotte could deal the killing blow to the Archer, she just had to keep his attention.

And not die, but that was more of an overarching objective, naturally.

X

As this happened, Jeanne, with Vlad by her side, was leading a large portion of the French army towards a different section of the wall.

"Whomever that king was, his is quite the impressive Noble Phantasm," she mused, staring up at the great stone walls of Constantinople.

"Not that it makes a difference," Vlad pointed out.

"Well. No. Of course not," she chuckled, turning and lifting her banner. "Fafnir! Over here!"

With Tyler clinging to his back, strapped in several times over on the saddle Gilles had made, Fafnir dive-bombed the castle wall. Flames built in his gullet, and a cone of fire strong enough to have physical impact crashed into the fortifications. Chunks of debris and unfortunate soldiers went flying, and as Fafnir passed by his tail carved a furrow into the earth and ruins and left a trench leading straight into the enemy territory.

Jeanne raised her banner. "For France!" With a jubilant war cry, the soldiers followed her as she led them into the breach.

X

Beowulf cursed, watching the enemies stream into Rouen. "Caster! Change of plans. Go get our last resort, maybe you and her can overcome the fake saint and her pet vampire,"

(For some odd reason, Vlad sneezed, and wondered why he suddenly wanted to kill someone.)

"What? What're you going to do?"

Beowulf's gaze fixed on the black dragon. "Go hunting,"

Not far away, Fafnir pulled up and wheeled around to give Tyler a good view of everything that was going on, and his passenger scanned the battlefield. The two Sabers of Chaldea were clashing with a hostile, while a Servant in green was firing at them with impunity - oh, wait, no. He could see Charlotte sneaking towards the enemy. How had she gotten onto the wall? Knowing her, she'd probably climbed a tree or stacked boxes up or something - didn't matter. They'd be fine.

d'Eon was in the rear of the contingent that Jeanne and Vlad were leading, and looked like he was guarding the breach. He could see a pale green blob that was presumably Kiyohime crossing the battlefield to join them.

"This doesn't seem right," he frowned. "We're not meeting enough resistance. They have the Grail, they should be able to summon an army's worth of Servants. Not just . . Da Vinci?" He toggled the communicator. "What are those two that the kings are fighting? I guess an Archer and a Shielder, or maybe a Rider?"

"Nevermind them!" the support Servant all but screamed. "There's a Berserker-class Spirit Origin coming right for you! Move!"

"What? Oh no, Fafnir! Pull up! Gain altitude!"

With a nod, the dragon furiously beat his wings - but it was too late. They heard someone screaming "ORAORAORAAAA!" and then Fafnir hrujted as something hit his flank.

They heard grunts and wheezes of exertion, until a powerfully built, shirtless blond man, who would have looked like a model advertising sunscreen were it not for the massive scar on his chest, clambered between Fafnir's wings. He stood up and cracked his knuckles, glancing briefly at the Master.

"What the - who are you?" Tyler demanded, inching away from the Servant who had unexpectedly joined him on Fafnir's back.

"Name's Beowulf, kid. Berserker-class. They call me King of Savages,"

"Beowulf?" The Master mused. "I've read that story. You fought for Hrothgar, and killed Grendel, then when you got old you," The breath caught in his throat. "Killed a dragon,"

"Ah, nice to be recognised. If you're thinking I'm up here because I've got some special skill that'll let me put this dragon in the ground, you're wrong. I don't have anything like that,"

Tyler knew it was too soon to breathe a sigh of relief. He was right.

Beowulf reached out a hand. "Iron Hammer Snake Smash: Naegling!" An iron club that glowed red appeared in his hands. "But if you think that's gonna stop me from putting him down anyway, you've got another thing coming,"

"Fafnir! Shake him off!" Tyler yelled, and the dragon banked, twisting diagonally and shaking his back, but somehow the Berserker retained his balance.

He raised the club and brought it down on Fafnir's spine with a crash that would have shook the earth had the been standing on it. Fafnir yelped and shook in mid-air, but Tyler was relieved to see that there was no visible damage.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Beowulf tched. "Oh well, blood would have been nice. Hey, kid? You know what the thing about dragons is? They have really tough scales, it's stupidly hard to smash through them. That's why you gotta use blunt force! Even if you can't break the skin, you can still wreak merry hell on the organs inside! Now!" He raised Naegling again, and brought it down in another shocking impact. "How many hits does it take to break a dragon's back?!"

Fafnir roared, and a wyvern popped out of a distortion in the air that led to the Reverse Side of the World. It dive-bombed Beowulf, but the man casually backhanded it without a glance and sent it away in a tailspin.

As he brought the club down again, Tyler made a decision. The fact that he had no chance against a Servant, much less a Berserker, didn't matter. He couldn't just stand here and watch this happen. It wasn't right.

So he unstrapped himself from the saddle. "Stop," he demanded, precariously standing on Fafnir's back, silently jealous of the ease with which Beowulf kept his balance.

Fafnir shook under his feet as Beowulf delivered another blow to his spine. "Or what, little boy?"

Dr. Roman had said the dragon parts of him would be more pronounced in the Singularities. With this in mind, knowing it was his best chance, Tyler reached inside himself and triggered something inhuman. "I said," Thrusting his head forward, a stream of flame burst out of his mouth, caught by the slipstream and sent washing over their enemy. "Stop,"

When the flame cleared, Beowulf had stopped.

Not because he was at all injured, but because amusement danced in his eyes. "Ho! That's an interesting trick. Don't really have time for the small fry right now, though. Come back in twenty years. Or maybe ten times that," He brought the club up for another strike.

"Don't you dare!" Tyler growled and charged, more flame building around his lips as he tried to tackle Beowulf. For all the good it did, he may as well have been tackling a statue.

"Okay, brat. You're starting to get annoying," Beowulf rumbled, grabbing the collar of his Mystic Code and hoisting him by it like a puppy. "Say, a bunch of the enemy Servants will just up and disappear if I off you, right? Haha, can't believe I forgot about that. Well!" He span in place and threw Tyler straight into the air. "Bye-bye!"

Fafnir snarled, and the rogue Servant suddenly realised that he'd just thrown away the only thing preventing the dragon from scraping him off his back by any means necessary. "Ahh, didn't think that one through, did I,"

No amount of balance was enough to keep Beowulf in place as Fafnir did a barrel roll, twisting in mid-air and sending him plunging to the ground as the black drake went after the falling, screaming Master. Massive claws came together in a cup that snatched him out of the air, ruining the stability of his flight in the process.

"Aaaaaaaah! Fafnir! Wha?!"

Fafnir had let himself drift too low, and could feel an injury in his spine from the Berserker's attacks. Cupping the boy to his chest, he twisted and landed on his side, crashing through trees and sending them toppling into chunks of matchwood, unfortunate woodland creatures getting crushed into paste as Fafnir bled momentum in his slide. Finally, his motion was arrested when he hit the wall of Constantinople, sprawled against its length not far from the breach he'd opened that the French were still pouring through.

The claws came open and Tyler hit the ground, with much less splatter than he'd really expected. "Lord Fafnir! Are you alright?"

Hot air blasted over him in a disparaging snort as the dragon shifted. Any hope of picking himself up was stymied as a chunk of the wall collapsed over his hindquarters.

"Wow!" Both turned to see Beowulf striding out of the forest. "You really crashed just to save that kid? I can respect that sort of commitment. Not bad! Kinda stupid, though, because now you're wide open," He glanced at Tyler. "Y'now what, I'm gonna respect that and give you a chance to run off, kid. Right now there's only one thing I wanna do,"

The words barely registered, the Master unable to tear his gaze away as mana built in Beowulf's fists. Then he threw himself at Fafnir's chest, targeting the glowing blue scar that crisscrossed his chest. "Primal Conflict: Grendel Buster! Oraoraoraoraoraaaaa!" The wild scream rung in Tyler's ears as a seemingly endless rain of punches left a steadily-increasing crater in Fafnir's flesh. Every strike deepened the impact, and even as Fafnir's scales held firm, by the fifth strike he could feel the sickening cracks and crunches as the dragon's ribs snapped inside his body.

Then, on the twelve strike, something white split the scales and emerged from inside the dragon's body with a spray of blood. Tyler's breath caught in his throat as he processed that Beowulf was smashing Fafnir's ribcage so flat that his broken ribs were starting to emerge from his own chest.

Looking at the sheer damage that had been done to the dragon, and the way it continued to pile up as Beowulf landed blow after crushing blow, he reached a terrifying conclusion.

He was watching Fafnir die.

Worse, the dragon was in this position, exposed and crippled, because he'd saved him.

Fafnir struggled, using his free left foreleg to swipe at the Berserker, but he just interrupted his routine for a moment and punched the incoming claw hard enough that it recoiled back. The dragon cried out in pain as his foreleg went limp.

"Stop it! . . Please . ." Tears welled up in his eyes as he begged. Not like this. This couldn't be happening, not like this!

"Ah, brat, you're still here?" Beowulf didn't pause as he cast a sidelong glance at Tyler. "You're a dummy, squandering a chance to escape a life like that. Now I can't reasonably let you go. Ah well, I'll kill you when I'm done crushing this thing's heart into paste,"

At this proclamation, though, rage burned in Fafnir's eyes. With all the strength left in his body, he roared as he inhaled, then closed his mouth shut with only a small gap between his lips. Scowling, Beowulf glanced at him - just in time for a tightly concentrated burst of flame to strike him like a physical blow. It shoved him away, launching him backwards until he hit the ground and bounced, flying into what was left of the treeline.

The Berserker picked himself up and made to resume attacking the downed dragon, but suddenly d'Eon was there to waylay him. "That's quite enough," the knight glowered.

"Oh, so you're next then? Works for me!" Beowulf summoned Naegling again and swung it at d'Eon, who danced away.

For a moment, Tyler watched the two Servants coming to blows, but a mighty black wing swept over him, locking around the boy and creating a cocoon that he shared with Fafnir's head.

Blade met club as d'Eon struggled against Beowulf. The Saber knew their rapier wasn't enough to block Naegling. "So this is the power of a Servant enhanced by the Holy Grail?"

"Sorry, what?" Beowulf frowned. "You really think I'm cheating like that? Even if we did have the Grail, I wouldn't use it for something as cheap as an unfair advantage in a fight!"

"What?" d'Eon paused for a moment, zeroing in on a particular part of that statement, then yelped and dodged a wild thrust from the Berserker. "What do you mean, you don't have the Grail?"

"I just told ya, didn't I? Me and my buddies in Rouen haven't seen hide nor hair of any Holy Grail," the blond scoffed.

"But, if you don't have it and we don't have it, then who has the Grail?"

He shrugged. "I dunno, don't much care either. I've been itching for a good fight for days! And you're not getting out of this one!" Beowulf yelled with a manic grin, and tensed his free hand. "Hound of the Red Plains: Hrunting!" A black blade, stained red like blood, emerged from the air and fell into his hand.

d'Eon's breath caught in their throat. "A third Noble Phantasm?" He danced away, putting enough distance between himself and Beowulf to strike a pose, his rapier gleaming with light. If he had any chance at all, he had to hold nothing back. The final form of Fleur de Lys was an incredibly potent dance of confusion; if he focused its effects entirely on Beowulf it should be enough to overwhelm him, even at the price of every iota of magic he had left. But that was fine. Tyler was still alive, after all, after doing this he just had to deal one fatal blow and then cling to life long enough to establish a contract with the Master properly.

"Profuse Blooming of Fluttering Lilies: Fleur de Lys!" he cast, even as Beowulf lunged at him, sword coming up.

The world around them exploded into a garden of glowing white beauty. Flowers erupted from the ground around them both, glowing lights dancing and playing without a care in the world. d'Eon could see the moment that Beowulf lost focus on his swing and his sword arm faltered, the lights of beauty and splendour arresting all of his focus.

But he didn't expect the sword, seemingly on its own, to keep going, dragging Beowulf with it and burying itself in his chest.

"What? But how . . oh," he mumbled as the sword seemed to suck what little vitality was left from his body, as blood flowed out of him and stained the blade an even brighter red.

"Damn, you almost got me. Unfortunately for you, even if I forget what I'm aiming at, Hrunting always strikes true," Beowulf rumbled, pulling the sword out of d'Eon's chest. "Good fight. Better luck next time,"

Inside the cocoon that was Fafnir's wing, Tyler begged. "Don't die! There's gotta be something, you have to have some kind of cheat, some secret ability . . please, you can't die!"

The dragon let out a low growl, but he sounded resigned. Melancholy, even.

"But, you are," Tyler's numb voice stated the obvious. "No, no, you can't die. You can't die," he repeated the phrase like a mantra. "You're too . ." he trailed off, unable to find words that would adequately express the majesty Fafnir held in his eyes.

Fafnir let out a deep sound that was almost a chuckle. He shifted, his massive eye scrutinising the boy before him. He shifted in a way that Tyler hoped could be described as a nod of approval, then started coughing.

"Fafnir!" Heedless of the expected flame, Tyler rushed forwards, even though all he could do was place his hands on the dragon's jaw. "Don't . . don't go. We still need you. Please,"

With a strangled cry, something that looked like a glowing, golden chunk of amber emerged from the dragon's mouth and hit the ground with a dull thump. Tyler stared at it for a moment. "What's that?"

The dragon shifted his chin, gesturing at it. "You . . you want me to take that?" For a moment, he considered rejecting it, then erased the thought. If this was Fafnir's dying wish, he could hardly deny it. So he nodded and stepped close enough to pick it up, even though it was heavy enough that he couldn't lift it.

He didn't need to, though. As soon as he touched it, Tyler knew.

He was touching Fafnir's essence. A physical concentration of the greed, the power, that had transformed him from a dwarf into a dragon. Tyler hadn't even known that Fafnir was once a particularly rich dwarf. But as the power within suffused him, he knew greed. He knew power. Everything that had made Fafnir who and what he was swept into his body and mind. On any other day, the Curse of Fafnir would have consumed him.

But the greed measured itself against the grief, the pain, the righteous anger and need for vengeance, and found itself inferior.

The lights faded, and Tyler collapsed. "What the . . Lord Fafnir? What was that?"

Unbidden, his communicator crackled to life. "Tyler! What just happened? Your vitals are going ballistic!" Dr. Roman demanded, and he muted the doctor.

The dragon growled, mouth closing and fangs bared in a savage smile. He shifted one more time, snout gesturing in the direction of the battlefield ahead, and then his eyes slid shut.

The greed vanished into the recesses of Tyler's mind, subsumed utterly by grief and vengeance, as the corpse of Fafnir began to break down into Spiritrons.

"Oi," a voice called. "You coming out of there or what? I've got things to do, and I've tried to kill you hard enough that I'd feel bad about leaving the job unfinished. You can't waste the time of a hero,"

Fafnir's wing membrane split open, a widening aperture rimmed with golden light as flesh and bone dissolved into Spiritrons, and the first thing the Master saw was the remains of d'Eon lying in a heap on the ground, as Beowulf advanced towards him.

With a savage roar and strength that no human should have possessed, Tyler erupted from the gap in Fafnir's wing and punched the bastard in the face, forcing him to the ground.

"Yeah. You're a hero, alright. The hero who killed the evil black dragon. Congratu-fucking-lations," he snarled, breathing in. "Now die," Fire spilled out of his throat as he exhaled, flame that put his former mediocre efforts to shame. It blasted Beowulf back with enough intensity to stagger him.

Tyler didn't relent, more orange flame coating his fist as he swept in for a punch. Beowulf blocked with his metal club, and the boy's fist bounced off Naegling.

"Don't know where you got that mojo, but you're still only human. There's no way you can beat me," Beowulf snorted.

"You killed Lord Fafnir. And d'Eon. I don't care!" Kicking off hard enough to break the ground and feeling aches blossom in a body that was still struggling to adjust to the new power that had been grafted onto it, a double-handed punch knocked Beowulf backwards.

Beowulf's witty retort was interrupted as someone caught him and slammed him to the ground, kicking Naegling and Hrunting out of his hands, sending them clattering to the ground several feet away.

Kiyohime loomed over him, murder in her eyes. She glanced at Tyler - and blinked, staring for a moment, disbelieving. "Onii-san?" she muttered in confusion, before shaking her head. "No. Master! What happened?"

"He killed Fafnir. And d'Eon," Tears ran from his eyes even as the growled repetition escaped his throat.

Beowulf bucked against the ground, knocking Kiyohime away, and lunged for his weapons.

The other Berserker tackled him to the ground before he could lay hands on them again, and blue fire took its turn to tickle Beowulf's skin. "Master! Let me destroy him!" she roared.

"Kiyohime," For a long moment as the Berserkers struggled, Tyler struggled against the part of him that needed vengeance, needed to make this pitiful excuse for a hero pay for what he'd done to his friends. But, even with the gift Fafnir had passed onto him, he knew it wouldn't be enough. He just wasn't strong enough to kill Beowulf with his own two hands.

not yet

Instead, one flaming finger found his flaming hand. "I order you with my Command Spell. Burn him. Burn him until nothing remains. Burn him so much that he'll still be burning next time he's summoned. If you can, burn him so much that his very record on the Throne goes up in flames!"

"My pleasure, Master. Transforming, Flame-Emitting Meditation: Samadhi Through Flames." And then there was fire.

There was nothing but fire, and the tears falling from his eyes.

X

From inside Rouen, over the heads of her soldiers, Jeanne and Vlad watched as Fafnir crashed to the ground.

"The dragon slayer," she cursed.

"This is not good," Vlad concurred.

"You should go. They might need help," Jeanne commanded. "The only Servant back there without the dragon attribute is d'Eon,"

"Why me? Why not you?"

"I have a defensive Noble Phantasm, Luminosite d'Eternelle," She looked around and assessed the road that the three hundred-odd men they were leading were standing on. "We'll use it to hold this position. Maybe I can lure out an enemy Servant or two, we can't be far from their base. Find out what's going on, fix it, and bring as many of our allies as are still alive to reinforce us. I hoped Altria would have breached the walls with her forces by now too, but we've lost our overwatch dragon and we can't wait too long. We need to make a final offensive before the enemy rallies. Go!"

With a nod and an acknowledgement that they didn't have time to waste arguing, Vlad turned and started running back to the walls, making the most of the mobility of the Lancer class.

"Now," Jeanne muttered, scanning the area, "to see what comes crawling out of the woodwork,"

Nary a minute had passed, though, before a set of footsteps approached. Jeanne looked up - and stared.

There was a mirror image of herself standing before her. It wasn't perfect; the other's hair was less bleached and a shade more close to gold, her skin, unlike the pale complexion that lingered on Jeanne's countenance from the flames, was rosy and full of life. Where her armour and dress were black and gunmetal, hers was white and left her legs exposed, save for a blue cloak that hung from her shoulders.

"Who are you?" Jeanne demanded, confusion written in her face.

For a second, her doppelgänger's face was equally confused, then - of all things - sympathy appeared in her features. "I am Jeanne d'Arc," she said.

Chapter Text

When Vlad reached the battlefield, there was no sign of the dragon-slayer. No sign of Fafnir, or d'Eon.

All he found was the Master of Chaldea, sitting on the ground in the fetal position and bawling his eyes out, while Kiyohime held him, patting him on the back and whispering reassurance into his ear. Further, even in this state there was a presence within the Master of Chaldea, a presence that had not been there when Vlad had last seen him, but that he recognised nonetheless.

It didn't take him long to guess what must have happened, if not all the specifics.

Kiyohime looked up at him, and, after the moment it took to realise she'd stopped focusing on him, Tyler lifted his head to face the king of Wallachia.

"Do you need a bit longer?" Vlad asked, his features softening in sympathy.

"What's the situation?"

"Jeanne's holding a position in Rouen, waiting for us to catch up. As soon as we're back, we'll press the offensive into the enemy's stronghold. If you need some more time, though,"

"No," Wiping his eyes with hands that he barely noticed were stained with mud and blood, Tyler stood and Kiyohime followed suit. "No, let's go. Let's finish this,"

X

The battle at the gates of Constantinople-around-Rouen was raging on, when a bright light split the sky in the town behind them.

Constantine stilled, gazing at the light in horror. "That's Luminosite d'Eternelle,"

"Jeanne's Noble Phantasm, right? Nuts, I was hoping to see it in person. I'm sure I'll get more chances though. What's it to you?" Altria conversationally asked, taking advantage of the lull in the fight to catch her breath.

"Robin! We must go and -" Constantine yelled, glancing back up at the battlements, but cut himself off when he saw what had happened there.

Charlotte Corday waved back at him. "Oh, sorry! I killed your Archer friend already. I hope you weren't counting on his help!"

The king growled. "No, no, this can't be happening!" Suddenly he broke away from the fight, the gates of the keep opening before him, and sprinted into town.

The Chaldean Servants watched him go. "Tch, doesn't feel like as much of a victory as I hoped," Altria grumbled.

"If he's panicking about something, that can only be good news for us," Lily pointed out, then turned back to the soldiers that had been waiting while the Servants clashed. "Men! The enemy is routed! We advance! This is the final battle! For the freedom of France!"

"For France!" the answering cry came, and the two King Arthurs led the French Army in pursuit of the enemy king.

Lily squinted suspiciously at Altria, who was shooting her a knowing smile. "What's that look for?"

"Just surprised to see you're getting so into the French patriotism," Altria teased.

"Oi. This is to save the world, nothing else," Lily grumbled.

X

"What are you talking about?" Jeanne - the black-clad Jeanne who had fought alongside Chaldea - demanded. "I'm Jeanne d'Arc!"

"I know you believe that. I can tell. But it's not true," the blue-clad Jeanne opposing her replied.

"Oh really? Well, prove it!" the Jeanne in black demanded.

"The proof is in your own hands. The real Jeanne d'Arc would be able to deploy her Noble Phantasm to protect her men. If you can use that banner of yours for anything, then show me," the other Jeanne suggested.

"Is that all? Fine! I will!" Jeanne growled, raising her black-and-white banner high and letting the flag fly proud. "Luminosite d'Eternelle!"

For a few moments, there was silence. Nothing happened. There was no flash of light, no surge of magic; nothing to indicate the successful activation of a Noble Phantasm.

The other Jeanne's face tightened in guilt. "I must show you what you're missing, mustn't I?" She raised her own white-and-gold banner into the air, and it began to glow. "God Is Here With Me: Luminosite d'Eternelle," The flag shone with divine light, projecting a barrier between the two Jeannes, blocking the black Jeanne from advancing any further down the street.

Not that she was in any state to, shock and disbelief washing over her. "But . . why didn't it work?"

"I told you. I'm sorry, I don't know who you are or where you came from, or how you came to believe that you were," the blue Jeanne's voice caught, "me, but, no matter what the answers are, I can't allow you to proceed with destroying this Singularity,"

"Destroying?" The black Jeanne parroted. "What do you mean? That's not what we're doing,"

"You don't even know that?" The guilty, sympathetic expression was back, and Jeanne (black) hated it. She hated that this doppelgänger, this impostor, this . . person who she wasn't, dared to look at her with such pity.

It was all she could do to demand, "Explain,"

"This is a Singularity. A crack that has opened in Proper Human History by the power of the Holy Grail,"

"I know that! That's why none of this matters, why we can do whatever we want! Half the reason we're here is so the people from Chaldea can find the Grail and disable it, ending the Singularity and fixing history! As long as they achieve that, the rest doesn't matter!"

"Who told you that?!" the Jeanne in blue all but exclaimed. "No! Even in the Singularities, history needs to transpire as written! Every action, everything a person does that's not part of Proper Human History - everything that you've been doing - widens the crack until the damage is irreparable!"

". . and how could you possibly know that?"

"I'm a Ruler-class Servant. The World told me when it summoned me here. Summoned me here, to stop you," She wheezed a nervous breath. "I thought you knew all this. That you knew, and you didn't care, or worse actively wanted to destroy Proper Human History for some reason,"

"No! I don't want to destroy the world! I live in it!" Jeanne (black) protested.

Both paused.

"Is that . . the only reason you have not to destroy the world? Self-preservation?" Jeanne (blue) hesitantly asked. It wasn't a demand, but a clear if faint note of accusation rung in her voice.

"I . ."

"You don't believe that the world should be saved for its own sake? For the sake of the people living in it? For the sake of God, even?"

"Those are all things that Jeanne d'Arc would believe, aren't they . . and yet when I try to even think them, all my conviction disappears," Jeanne (black) breathed. "No," she realised. "I don't care about this world. All I care about are those few people I love that live in it,"

"Then . . doesn't that prove it?" Jeanne (blue) gently asked.

"I . . I suppose it does. But, if I'm not Jeanne d'Arc . . who am I?"

Jeanne (blue) sighed apologetically. "I'm sorry, but I don't know. I know this isn't a good time, but if you agree that the world should be saved, we need to discuss -"

"Jeanne!" Both Jeannes turned to see Vlad, carrying Tyler and Kiyohime in an unceremonious but effective method of rapidly crossing the distance, skirting the regiment as he caught up to them. Vlad almost tripped from sheer shock at seeing the second Jeanne, and he set the Chaldeans down, glancing at them both in bewilderment. "What's going on here?"

"Yeah, Jeanne, why is there a second Jeanne?"

"She's Jeanne d'Arc . . the real Jeanne d'Arc," Jeanne (black) said, still numb.

"What? What does that mean?" Tyler questioned. "Wait, but then if she's Jeanne d'Arc then . . who are -"

"I don't know!" the French leader snapped. "I . . I don't want to believe it, but it makes sense. The holes in my memory are there because whoever created me didn't have my whole life story, I can't bring myself to believe in the things Jeanne d'Arc believed in, hell I started this whole rebellion because of some stupid, petty desire that Jeanne d'Arc would never want! And . . and I can't activate Luminosite d'Eternelle. But she can,"

They looked at the barrier that still protected the other Jeanne.

"Well, that's fine then," Tyler said, steel in his voice. "Who cares? You're my friend,"

"What? It's . . it's really that simple for you?" Jeanne asked, bemused.

"Eh, you know how bad I am at talking to people. What, do you think I'm going to write off someone I care about because of a little mistaken identity?" He looked her in the eye. "For the past couple of days, I've been working and fighting with you. Not 'the person named Jeanne d'Arc', you. Even if that lady's the real Jeanne d'Arc, she's not the one who . ." his voice broke, "who thought I was worth spending time with, and listening to, and not just ignoring like everyone else does, and maybe that was just because I'm the only Master of Chaldea here but I don't care!"

Jeanne was shocked to find him hugging her, tears dripping onto her shoulder. "I've already lost too many friends today, to this fight. I'm not going to lose you too, not as long as I have a single damn thing to say about it!"

No one had the heart to interrupt them, except suddenly Kiyohime was hugging them both too, and it only took a second for Jeanne (black) to hug them back, and for a moment they all just held each other.

Finally, the Ruler pushed Tyler back enough to look into his eyes. "You know what, I've decided. I was pretty sure I was going to do this anyway, just waiting for the right moment, but I want to form a contract with you. Because I don't want to lose you either,"

"Really?" The Master smiled. "It'd be my honour,"

"Alright. Well! How do we do this? Do I just -"

A sudden cry of panic interrupted them both, and they turned to see Gilles de Rais emerging from a street. "Oh, Jeanne! No!"

"Gilles?" both Jeannes spluttered in sync, but for different reasons.

"What are you doing here? You should be in the rear!" Jeanne (black) protested.

"You've been here? In this Singularity? This whole time? Why didn't you come and - oh, I see, you thought you were already with me," Jeanne (blue) realised.

Then she frowned. "Wait. No. Gilles. You knew me when I was alive, and that other Jeanne's hair and eye colour are different. You should have noticed. Why didn't you?"

Ignoring her, the mad Caster advanced on Jeanne (black). "Jeanne, are you alright? Did they do anything to you? How -"

"She's right," Jeanne (black) declared, frowning suspiciously at Gilles. "We look almost identical, but it's not perfect. You should have noticed that there was something different about me from the real Jeanne. You should have told me,"

"What do you mean, the real Jeanne? You are the real Jeanne," Gilles insisted.

"No, I'm not," Jeanne (black) shook her head, briefly closing her eyes, and gestured to the other. "She is,"

"What? Oh, no, no, no, you misunderstand. She's just the Jeanne that the world remembers. That doesn't mean you aren't the real Jeanne!"

That statement brought everyone up short. "What exactly is that supposed to mean?"

The Caster heaved out a sigh. "Forgive me, my beloved Jeanne, for I have sinned. I lied to you, for the sake of your own happiness," Gilles admitted, still focused on the Jeanne who'd promised to join Chaldea.

"What are you talking about?"

"I knew that you could never accept the sort of person I truly am, so I told you I was innocent of the atrocities I committed. The murders, tortures, molestations, it's all true. I really did do all those horrible things, and I don't regret it at all,"

Jeanne's pale face was as white as snow, and her fingers were taut around the banner. ". . why?" she could barely breathe.

"Because God needed to be punished for taking you from me!" Gilles shrieked. "He failed you! He abandoned you! You, the brightest, most perfect person to ever walk the earth, and he let you die! So I demonstrated my displeasure, I committed atrocities of the most unthinkable variety so that I could force God to watch my blasphemy! And then," he released an insane cackle, "That man came to me. He gave me the Holy Grail, the magic cup of miracles, and an opportunity to commit a blasphemy against God of a magnitude I never dreamed possible! Nothing less than the complete and utter destruction of the world!"

The pure Jeanne in blue had her hands clasped to her mouth in horror. "Gilles!" she pleaded. "How could you? Surely you must have known I'd never want anything like that!"

"No! You didn't! That was the problem!" Gilles shrieked at her. "I couldn't do this without you! I love you, Jeanne d'Arc, so much that I couldn't possibly destroy the world without you by my side! But every time I begged the Grail to bring you to me, you wouldn't manifest!"

"Of course not! 'I wish to destroy the world' - what kind of Heroic Spirit would respond to a summons like that?" Jeanne (blue) retorted.

"You would! You must have! History corrupted you by purifying you! They elevated Jeanne d'Arc by ascribing to her all sorts of virtues, by portraying her to be as perfect and flawless as no human ever could be! There's no way you still prayed to God as you burned, no way you felt there was justice in your death! No way you could have just accepted that! And yet that was the sort of person that the world's beliefs made you,"

"They didn't do anything of the sort to me," Jeanne (blue) shook her head. "You're saying I'm some kind of reversal of what happened to Vlad? That's not possible. I would know! Even if no one else did, I would know!"

"That's what you did to me," Jeanne (black) whispered. "Those thoughts I remember having as I died, that I never dared voice to anyone because such feelings were unbecoming of the Maiden of Orleans. They weren't real! You planted those memories, those doubts in my mind! You . ." Her breath caught in her throat. "You Altered me,"

"Oh, my sweet, beloved Jeanne. I did more than that, and thus I beg your forgiveness. The original Jeanne was too far gone, I couldn't bring her back to being the person I loved. So I used my memories, my desires, and the Grail, and created a new Jeanne d'Arc, one who was right!"

"So that's it," Jeanne (black) breathed. "I'm the product of your deluded fantasies,"

"No, I just told you, you - doesn't matter," Gilles snapped, turning to the Jeanne of Proper Human History. "We're so close now! All we have to do is reclaim Rouen in the name of France, and the British will be defeated! History will be broken, and the world will fall into oblivion! We're so close, just one final push, and the ultimate blasphemy will be completed! So come on, everyone!" The mad Caster grinned triumphantly, and started advancing on Jeanne (blue).

It took him three steps to realise his former allies weren't following.

". . . Is something the matter?"

"Has it entirely escaped your feeble faculties of reason that everyone here was fighting for the sake of preventing the destruction of the world?" Vlad was first to speak, but the sentiment was universal.

". . oh," Gilles mumbled. "How inconvenient. Very well, very well. Fortunately, I have a backup plan," He reached into his hands and pulled out a simple brown book; unremarkable save for the screaming face on its cover.

Jeanne (blue) gasped. "Gilles, is that . . no,"

"You're right to assume, Jeanne my onetime one and only. I'm aware that against all of you I'm not enough to bring my blasphemy to fruition," A more sickeningly evil smirk than Tyler could have ever imagined twisted his face. "So I'm going to bring some friends. But first, I'm going to need to borrow something just for a minute. You don't mind, do you, Jeanne?" With one hand he reached out, and a shimmer erupted from Jeanne's (black) navel.

Before anyone could react, a flash of gold was ripped out of her guts without leaving any visible damage, and Gilles' free hand was holding the Holy Grail.

"Jeanne!" Tyler screamed, rushing to catch her as she collapsed like a mannequin with strings cut. "What happened? The Grail was inside her?"

"The Grail must have been serving as her core. Providing energy," Vlad surmised.

"And we didn't notice? Dr. Roman? Uh, that can wait. Energy? Is that all we need?" Tyler's hand cupped her chin, and he pressed his sole remaining Command Seal for the Singularity against her skin. "Chaldea's generators provide all the energy a Servant could want! Jeanne! If you submit to this will and reason, then answer! Seventh heaven clad in the great words of power, come forth from the circle of binding, guardian of the scales!"

There was no response from the felled false saint.

Meanwhile, Gilles lovingly stroked the Grail as he placed Prelati's Spellbook within its brim, and, in sickeningly sweet tones, said, "I wish for the denizens of the Sunken Spiral Tower to come and aid me,"

Reality convulsed. The ground around him twisted and melted, and on one side Jeanne (blue) retreated while the Chaldeans rushed away from the other, Tyler and Vlad dragging the limp Jeanne with them. "Fall back!" Vlad yelled at the French soldiers who were still watching and waiting. "Go! Run! This is beyond all of you!"

The road rippled, and tentacles started emerging. Creatures like bright pink starfish, with flexible limbs bristling with spines to shame a hedgehog around a central beaked mouth and eyes on the ends of their limbs, emerged from the ground with splashing noises that cobblestones should not have been able to make. The creatures swam through the air in violation of gravity, honing in on the force of Servants.

"W-w-what the heck are we looking at?" Kiyohime whimpered.

"Eldritch monsters of some stripe," Vlad cursed. He touched the ground, and spears emerged from the cobblestones, impaling the first few to come within range. "Fortunately, they're not that strong. The small ones anyway. Annoyingly durable, but to us, no real threat save numbers,"

Gilles' voice echoed down the street. "By my authority as a commander in the French Army, I hereby employ all of you brilliantly blasphemous things as mercenaries on behalf of France! Now go! Occupy this city in the name of France, and bring Proper Human History to its knees!"

". . Surely that doesn't count. He can't do that. Can he do that?" Tyler spluttered.

"At this point, I don't think we can rely on saving the world by a technicality," Vlad rumbled, more spears shooting out of nearby buildings to impale and shred the flesh of the tentacled creatures; but still more kept coming, the region of warped space centred on Giles slowly spreading outwards.

Tyler frowned, then his eyes lit up. "So, we just need to make sure the British forces repel these, uh, 'French mercenaries' to ensure Proper Human History doesn't go poof?"

"I believe so, why?"

"Then we need to go talk to Jeanne," The Servants glanced at their unconscious former leader. "No, no, the other Jeanne,"

"Well, there's a problem with that," Kiyohime piped up, gesturing at the hellspawn creatures that were repopulating just as quickly as they could destroy them. In the distance, they could see Luminosite d'Eternelle flashing with light and struggling to fend off the creatures.

"I can get the three of you over there if I propel you with my Noble Phantasm," Vlad suggested.

"No, it needs to be all of us . . unless," Tyler raised his hand. "Vlad, do you accept me as your Master? Submit to my will and reason? All that jazz?"

"Hm? You have a plan. Very well. I accept your contract, and will be honoured to call myself a Servant of Chaldea," the king smiled and nodded, and his single remaining Command Spell flashed.

"Perfect. Alright, get us over there, then keep killing these things. And if you see the Sabers or Charlotte, tell them what we need to do and that since those things are French, we're all gonna have to be British,"

Vlad considered this, then laughed. "I see! How perspicacious! If we survive this, I think I'll enjoy having you as my Master!"

"What? I still don't get it," Kiyohime protested.

"You'll have to explain later. Time to go," Vlad rumbled, focusing his energy. Hundreds, thousands of spears emerged from the ground, the walls, the buildings nearby, and he reared back, before thrusting forwards. "Bloodstained King Demon: Kazikli Bey!"

Hundreds of spears lashed out, focusing on a single point and spreading out, twisting and expanding like a drill and creating a whirling tunnel of spiked death, a route through the air that was clear of monsters.

"Wait. That doesn't look like a stable bridge,"

"I can't hold this for long enough to make a path for you to walk on," the Lancer hummed. "Don't worry. I have a plan,"

It was at that moment that spears emerged from the ground, catching Tyler's uniform and Kiyohime and Jeanne's clothes, and gave them the unprecedented experience of being human bullets.

X

Constantine XI, who'd been quite effectively staying ahead of the Sabers and Charlotte, drew to a halt as he witnessed an oncoming wave of tentacled mouths of the sort that should not exist in this reality.

"What is that?" Altria shrieked as the Chaldean Servants, who'd left behind the human soldiers at some point during the chase, finally caught up to him.

"I assume something your side unleashed on these innocent people?" Constantine frowned.

"Nope!" Altria declared.

"No, this isn't us. I can't imagine us working with someone wielding that sort of power," Lily agreed. "You mean to say this isn't the doing of one of your allies?"

"Of course not. This town's continued existence is all that stands between us and endless ash, why would we deploy something to destroy it?"

"What are -" Lily started, but Altria interrupted.

"Shit, they're here! Hey, king of running away, looks like we all need to deal with this. Enemy of my enemy sound good to you?"

Constantine cast Altria an infuriated look, but nodded. "Very well. We will fight for the fate of this world after dealing with whatever this is!"

X

Jeanne started as a Master and two Servants slammed into her barrier, and she hastily shifted it enough so that they could enter the zone of safety she was doing her best to enforce.

"Thanks," Tyler mumbled, picking himself up with Kiyohime's entirely unnecessary aid. "Kiyohime, keep an eye on Jeanne. Our Jeanne," he pre-emptively clarified, looking around. ". . Hey, there're no monsters here,"

"I'm holding a barrier against them. It won't last forever but it's the most I can do to protect these people," Jeanne (blue) explained.

"That's not going to be enough, we have to defeat Gilles," Tyler pointed out. The Maiden of Orleans was about to say something, but he continued. "Hey, Jeanne. You're part of the British Army right now, yeah? Do you have the authority to accept people switching sides?"

Baffled, Jeanne tilted her head. ". . I don't know, I'm still French,"

"Well, fortunately, I am quite the Brit!" Everyone whirled to look at Shakespeare as he triumphantly stood up from behind a barrel. "For English things, look no further than I!"

"Oh, it's you," the Master grumbled.

"Were you hiding behind there that whole time?" Kiyohime accused through narrowed eyes.

"Good enough! I declare that myself and all Servants under my command are defecting to Britain and shall henceforth fight under the Union Jack!" Tyler yelled. "Now let's repel the French forces on behalf of Mother England!"

"You've no idea what you're talking about. It's plain to see your lack of acumen," Shakespeare snidely told him.

"Oh screw off, you useless writer," Tyler snorted at him.

"I don't understand, though, why is that important?" Jeanne (blue) questioned.

Tyler grinned at her. "Let the history books say that the British prevailed at the Battle of Rouen and retook Paris because all bar one of the French commanders defected to Britain!"

Jeanne's eyes lit up and she smiled. "I see! We're correcting history! That's brilliant!"

The 'French forces' decided they didn't care about what the humans were doing, and just resumed beating their tentacles against the barrier of Luminosite d'Eternelle. As they did, mad laughter echoed through the mob of monsters, and Gilles, still holding his book in one hand and the Grail in the other, peered at them through a frame of monsters. "Very clever, Master of Chaldea. But just because you can win now, doesn't mean you will. This is a battle of attrition! And I've got the cup!"

"Actually, it's only a matter of time until the Sabers get here. When they do, Excalibur will put an end to this. There's no way you're going to win, Gilles. No way I'd ever allow that," Tyler promised him, rage in his eyes.

The Caster's jaw set as he frowned, considering his options. "Well, I suppose I won't give you a choice in the matter!" Stepping backwards, he flipped open the book, resting its cover within the brim of the Grail, and began to chant. But the things he said . . weren't words.

All Tyler heard was something that he could only really hear as 'Phn'glui', then a shrill static burst from his communicator, drowning out all other noise as he clapped his hands over his ears - unfortunately bringing the wrist-mounted communicator closer in the process.

After a moment that was much too long, the noise stopped, and he glared at the device. "What was that?"

"Sorry, kiddo, that was the emergency Anti-Foreign Influence Jammer,"

". . I think you ruptured my eardrums," he complained.

"Better those than your mind. That Caster is tapping into forbidden magic. Such things can be pervasive, dangerous. Corruptive," Da Vinci explained. "Avoid engaging with it as much as possible. Ideally, destroy it without ever looking at it, but I know that's probably not possible so just do your best,"

"Right," the Master grimaced, taking a breath to steady himself and looking back at the spot where Gilles had been.

In his place, though, was the most massive octopus he'd ever seen. The small fry creatures had thinned out, and even as he watched a massive tentacles wrapped around another one of them and caused it to melt, flesh warping and softening, merging with the predator that had grasped it and making the tentacle longer and larger. Following that tentacle to its source gave him a hideously massive octopus, with a squashed body from which eight giant tentacles emerged, five of which were being used for stability while the remaining three were beating against Luminosite d'Eternelle. Its body was squashed because it seemed to have been forced to grow inside some kind of house-sized hermit crab shell, a massive spiralled shape made of what looked like murky, green-tinted glass. Gilles was also inside the thing's shell, the Grail still with him, kept safe from any attempts to target him and sitting on top of the thing's head as though he'd somehow changed class to Rider. Bulbous, unblinking eyes stared out at the world through the shell, and as it reared up momentarily, a multi-jawed mouth of serrated fangs screamed at them, before it slammed back down, holding itself and its shell as close to the ground as possible.

A nigh-catatonic part of Tyler's mind noted that if he wasn't already due for nightmares, this thing would induce them.

Gilles was saying something. Ranting out a monologue, probably. He didn't seem to realise that the shell was soundproof and no one could hear a word he said.

Whatever it was, though, it was bad news, because the hermit squid proved to have laser breath.

A bullet of watery energy shot from its mouth and smashed into the barrier projected by Jeanne's flag, and it shattered. With a scream, Jeanne fell to her knees.

The monstrosity advanced, and Tyler was just about to yell for them to fall back, when a glowing golden sword beam struck the side of the shell.

Gilles turned with a scowl, and the Chaldeans followed his gaze.

The Sabers had emerged from a side street, Charlotte and an unknown Servant in tow. "Master!" Lily yelled, seeing him. "What's going on?"

"Gilles betrayed us!" Tyler hollered back. "We're all on the same side, he was playing us against each other! He has the Grail! Kill that thing!"

"I've been waiting all Singularity for this!" Altria grinned, hefting Excalibur.

"No!" Lily cautioned her, and her corrupted elder paused.

"Why not?" Altria demanded. Then the tentacles were upon them, and they started frantically deflecting and carving chunks of slimy fish flesh off them.

"Look at that shell. I hit it with Caliburn and it didn't even scratch. You only have enough energy for the one shot, right? I don't think you'll be able to break through that shell - it looks like something specifically designed to counteract an Anti-Fortress Noble Phantasm," Lily continued the conversation, needless of the ongoing battle.

"Wait, what's this about only one shot?" Constantine questioned, sliding past another offensive tentacle and carving a slash into it.

"Yeah, all those times I threatened to spam Excalibur on you? I was bluffing. Not sorry!" Altria laughed it off.

"I see," he grumbled.

Gilles hollered something that may have included the word 'Jeanne', and one of the hermit squid's tentacles lashed out, slapped Kiyohime aside and curled around the prone form of Jeanne (black).

"Not on your life you gross slimy thing!" Kiyohime retorted, leaping into the air and punching the tentacle with a fist that was on-fire enough to go straight through it. Gore showered her as she ripped it apart, and Jeanne fell back to the ground in a heap. With a pained squeal, the octopus withdrew the tentacle, even as it was already regenerating.

"It occurs to me that the shell doesn't cover its entire body," Constantine continued the line of thought from earlier. "If you lined up a shot straight through its mouth and into the brain I assume it has, then Excalibur might yet prevail,"

"Sure, but it's hugging the ground," Altria scoffed. Indeed, the monster was keeping its vulnerable parts as close to the ground as possible.

"So we just need to get it to look up?" Charlotte weighed in from where she was keeping well behind the group.

"More like tip it over," Lily blocked and severed a tentacle that tried to break through their guard and get at the squishy Assassin.

"You could help, you know?" Altria snapped at the Assassin.

"Sorry, but I doubt my little knife is going to do much good against that thing," she apologetically mumbled. "I'd just die, really,"

Constantine hummed. "Tip it over? I can do that. King of Knights, be ready,"

As Gilles directed his creature to renew the assault on Jeanne and Kiyohime, targeting the vulnerable Tyler and Jeanne (black) behind them, the Byzantine King charged. The tentacles immediately wrapped around him and pulled him in, and he didn't struggle, just carving more chunks of bloodied flesh out of them as they brought him exactly where he wanted to be.

Gilles didn't even look at him, so focused on his prizes he was.

When he was only feet away from the creature, it slammed him into the ground and shifted, opening a space between itself and the ground that would be just large enough to drag him underneath and into its mouth.

Constantine buried his sword in the ground and poured all the energy that was still in his body into a partial activation of his Noble Phantasm. "Never shall we yield," he swore with a grim smile. "Though we may perish, our homeland remains eternal! By These Threefold Walls I Swear: Theodosius Constantinus!"

The ground shone and the gatehouse of Constantinople erupted from the stone underfoot, underneath the creature's tentacles. It was positioned in just the right way that as it took form, as the gates slid open, it tipped the octopus sideways. With its balance lost, the weight of its own shell caused it to topple over, sending Gilles stumbling inside the glassy protection and exposing the many-fanged mouth. "Now!" Constantine commanded and threw himself to the ground, and with a nod, magic energy erupted in a corona around Altria. The only thing obstructing her line of fire was Constantine himself, even as the mighty tentacles lashed and the beast started to right itself.

"What? You can't! You'll hit him!" Lily protested.

Altria's jaw set. "He knows," she replied, bringing her sword up. "Sword of Promised Victory: Excalibur Morgan!"

The black and red laser lashed out, most of the magic leaving her body in a great rush, washing over Constantine and pouring down the throat of the monster. Its teeth exploded and its throat soon followed, the outpouring of magic burning straight through its body and brain before eventually coming out the other side and striking Gilles.

With nowhere else to go, eventually the energy exploded back out of the shell the way it had come in, scouring it of eldritch flesh and emancipating the tentacles attached to it, which rapidly began to break down into Spiritrons.

As did the gatehouse, and what was left of King Constantine XI.

For a long moment, there was silence.

The two groups hesitantly advanced, looking around for any sign of surviving miniature octopus monsters, or that Gilles had survived.

Eventually, all the Servants of Chaldea - Tyler carrying Jeanne (black)'s limp form - as well as Jeanne and Shakespeare - their only surviving opponents - met in the centre of the battlefield.

"A-ha!" Tyler set Jeanne (black) down and dived for a glint of gold in the rubble, emerging holding the Holy Grail. "We've got it! Yay! We . ." He took in the way the Chaldean Servants - including Charlotte - had arranged themselves in a protective line, shielding him and Jeanne (black) from Jeanne (blue) and Shakespeare. ". . won?"

"Now what?" Lily, who was taking the lead by dint of Altria looking like she was refraining from passing out through sheer willpower alone, demanded.

Jeanne (blue) gripped her banner, then paused, mulling things over, and sighed. "You outnumber us four to two, and you have the Grail. In all honesty, even if you did decide to destroy this Singularity and Proper Human History with it, I don't think Shakespeare and I could stop you. So we're left with no choice but to trust in your benevolence,"

Tyler stood and eyed the two Servants that had opposed them, then looked back at the prone form of the Jeanne who'd supported him. "There's only one thing I want to do with this Grail," he told them, kneeling over her and placing it on her stomach, where Gilles had removed it. "I wish, for you to go back inside her and let her continue to live,"

Obediently, the Grail phased out of reality and sunk into her chest.

Golden eyes shot open, and Jeanne (black) sat up with a gasp. "What . . what happened?" She looked around and took in the scene, then down at herself. "The . . the Grail? It was inside me all along?"

"We beat Gilles," Tyler told her. "I'm sorry,"

"Don't be," Jeanne (black) assured him, a dark look crossing her face. "He . ." She sighed. "Couldn't have been saved,"

"That's it?" Jeanne (blue)'s eyes widened. "You really just wanted her to live? That's all?"

"Yeah," Tyler paused, and turned on his communicator. "Hey, Da Vinci. I didn't just screw us over, did I? The Singularity will still resolve fine if we just bring Jeanne with the Grail inside her back to Chaldea?"

"I believe that's correct. Though, honestly, with Gilles' intent no longer commanding it, the Singularity should be beginning to collapse as we speak," the Caster reported. "I've got the technicians preparing to Rayshift you back now. Everyone you want to bring with you, I suggest you start making contracts,"

She offered a slightly wan smile, as if knowing what Tyler was thinking - and she probably did, but before that there were other things to get to. "Speaking of contracts, has anyone seen Vlad?" He looked around as though expecting the king to appear out of thin air.

Unfortunately, he didn't oblige them. Everyone else looked equally mystified and concerned.

"One moment . . no. I'm sorry, Tyler, but there's no trace of any Lancer-class Spirit Origin within range," Da Vinci apologetically told him via communicator. "It doesn't look like he made it,"

It took him a moment to process this, and his shoulders just slumped. "Oh," he mumbled. Some laconic part of his mind noted that, this time, the pain of grief didn't feel as strong. Perhaps there was only so much of it that he could take.

An unnaturally pale hand found his, and he turned to meet Jeanne (black)'s golden eyes. "I swear to heed your will and reason. I will be your keeper of the balance. The fact that I'm still here to say these words, I owe to you, so for as long as my heart beats I will be honoured to call myself your Servant,"

Tyler choked. "Damnit, you can't just say that so quickly. I'm dealing with too many emotions here,"

"I'm with you too. Heed your will and reason, be your Servant, all of it. If you still want me, that is," Charlotte assured him. His Command Seals pulsed, and he could feel the connections snap into place.

"Thank you, Charlotte," he nodded with a grateful smile, collecting himself. He had to be strong, because he knew what was coming next, and what he had to do.

"Master of Chaldea," Jeanne (blue) started forwards. "I would like to request that you also form a contract with me, and permit me to aid you in your fight,"

"Let me ask you something, first," he said, because he had to be sure.

"By all means?"

"Did you say anything when Beowulf went to kill us? Did you object?"

"What? Well, no, but -"

"Then I refuse your request, and I refuse to contract with you," Tyler shot her down. ". . . I know you were doing what you thought was right. Maybe someday I'll forgive you for it. But you're complicit in two of the very few people I've ever called my friends dying. And even if you didn't mean to, even if circumstances forced your hand . . you hurt my Jeanne. So," he heaved a sigh. "Maybe we'll see each other again. Maybe enough time will have passed by then that I can forgive you. But I can't contract with you, not now, not so soon after all this. It's just not going to happen,"

He looked away because he couldn't take the expression of guilt on the pure Jeanne's face, even as she nodded. "I . . understand. I suppose, then, until we meet again, Master of Chaldea,"

"You didn't have to do that for me," his Jeanne whispered.

"I didn't," Tyler sighed, hearing her walk away. ". . Was that the right decision to make?"

"It doesn't matter. It was the only decision you could make," Altria told him. Kiyohime, taking the more direct approach, just hugged him.

A thoroughly unwelcome voice interrupted. "Well, I -"

"Shakespeare, don't even think about it," Tyler snapped. "You made me relive the worst days of my life, you made me remember things I tried very hard to forget, and worst of all you made me realise how perverse I really am. So don't even think about it, and I thoroughly hope that I never have to even think about you again,"

". . I see," the author mumbled. "This would make such a marvellous tragedy,"

Altria chuckled and pointed out, "Hey, you slapped the pentameter right out of him again,"

She was ignored, though, as Tyler rounded on Shakespeare. "Oh, no, not on your life. This story isn't a tragedy. It hasn't gone great so far, but this is just the first act. If I have anything at all to say about it, we're gonna earn our happy ending. Da Vinci, whenever you're ready,"

"Way to get the last word in," the Caster cheered. "Beginning the Rayshift now! Altria, yours might be a minute, I'm going to have to do something special since you aren't contracted to Tyler,"

If Altria had anything to say about that, they didn't hear it, because at that point the world faded around them and they were pulled into a tunnel of blue light.

X

"The Curse of Fafnir. The goddamn Curse of Fafnir. That you willingly took into yourself. What the hell were you thinking?" Dr. Roman demanded.

As soon as they'd arrived, Tyler and Jeanne had been dragged off to the medical wing, because apparently Dr. Roman had spent the last hour developing a metaphorical ulcer about everything that had happened in Rouen. Jeanne was waiting on another bed while the fluffy orange doctor fussed over her Master.

"It was Fafnir," Tyler mumbled. "He was dying, and . . and it saved my life! Thanks to Fafnir, I had the strength to stay alive until Kiyohime arrived. Beowulf would have killed me if I didn't take it,"

Further condemnation died in Dr. Roman's throat as he remembered that he was still talking to a college student; one who'd likely never watched anyone die in his life before, and was still coming to terms with the grief.

"Damn, you must have really bonded with that dragon while you were in France," he offered, sitting down beside him.

"He was the best," Tyler agreed, his voice wavering.

"Well . . in the absence of a trained therapist, I'm going to prescribe bed rest. At least a week. And . . I accept that you'd probably be dead if you didn't take the Curse of Fafnir, so I'm not going to tell you you're an idiot for doing it. That said, there are going to be consequences,"

"What, am I grounded?" he sarcastically asked.

"Oh, no, you misunderstand. You're not getting punished. Under the circumstances, even the Director can't really find fault with most of the things you did in Orleans. She'll probably have words with you for refusing to bring Jeanne back," He glanced at the black Jeanne. "Uh, that is, the other -"

"It's fine. Call her Jeanne. That's her name, and I'm not her," the other woman assured him. "I . . haven't decided what I'm going to call myself yet,"

"Fair enough, tell us when you make up your mind. As I was saying, though. Tyler, given you were only ever expected to be the backup in case something happened to Nikki, you really did go above and beyond expectations, so take pride in that," Dr. Roman cheerily explained, before taking on a somber tone again. "No, the consequences I'm talking about are what that Curse is going to do to you. It turns its bearer into Fafnir. Unless we get it out of you somehow, it's only a matter of time until you fully metamorphose into a dragon, a Phantasmal Beast,"

". . oh,"

"Hopefully we can find a cure, or something to suppress it, or something. But, assuming we can't . . well, I'm sorry to say, but it's going to be very difficult for you to ever have a normal life, even after we restore Proper Human History. Basically every Magus in the world will want to dissect you as soon as they find out about it. The Curse of Fafnir is legendary, and I do mean that quite literally. Hell, some particularly depraved Maguses might want to put you on display. Or work out the magical applications of a dragon's flesh, blood and bone,"

Tyler had gone distinctly green at the thought. "B-but, I'd be powerful, right? Fafnir was amazing, he never would have let anyone do any of that to him,"

"Yeah, true. But the fact remains that they'd try. Maguses are arrogant like that," Dr. Roman grumbled. "Look, I don't know what the best approach is going to be. I'm not much of a Magus myself, I was always just Marisbury's assistant. I let him deal with all the horrible people. Maybe the Director can protect you. In the meantime, though, we need to keep this under wraps. Your one snowball's chance in hell is if we can somehow keep this totally secret. I mean, not telling the rest of Chaldea's staff a thing about it. I know, you know, your Servants know, Da Vinci and the Director know. I suppose Altria knows too, but hopefully she wasn't paying attention. That has to be it. Not even Nikki and Era if we can help it at all. The risk is too great,"

He swallowed. "G-got it,"

"Good. I want you in here every other day, both for regular checkups and a general chat about how you're doing. And if something weird and dragon-y starts happening, come and tell me immediately,"

Tyler nodded. ". . Wow, Dr. Roman," he commented with a slight smile. "I had you pegged as a goofy, unreliable slacker, but you're actually a really good doctor,"

"Yeah well that's your fault! I don't like needing to be the competent one! Being silly and slacking off is much easier. But you keep doing stupid stuff and forcing me to take things seriously!" Romani whined, clawing at the air in frustration.

"Dr. Roman, to the control room! Repeat, Dr. Roman to the control room immediately! Master Nikki has a situation!"

"What's going on?" Tyler frowned as Dr. Doman sighed and stood up.

"Damnit. I really wanted to give you a proper examination too," he gestured at the woman in the other bed whose name was not Jeanne, "but you look like you're not about to die which is more than I can say for Nikki, so that's going to have to wait," he decided, standing up.

"Wait, what? What happened to Nikki?" Tyler questioned, standing up.

"She's been busy in the Okeanos Singularity. While you were sorting out your real and fake holy maidens, she's been trying to figure out how to kill the god Poseidon,"

"Ah, that's - WHAT?!"

"Yup. She's probably starting now. C'mon, let's go see how it goes down!"

OMAKE:

"Master?" Lily asked, later when they had a moment. "What did you mean when you said Shakespeare made you realise that you were perverse?"

"Oh. That," Tyler replied in a small voice. "Simple, really . . after meeting you all, and hearing you all be so insistent that I mean something to you . . what sort of pathetic person feels like the end of the world is the best thing that ever happened to them?"

Then he got hugged. Repeatedly.

Chapter Text

Chapter 12: Deicide

"He's finally here!" Euryale declared, standing at some signal only she saw.

"Ah, so the mysterious ally we were waiting on this whole time has finally arrived?" Nikki asked, watching her make for the shore and, after a moment's reflection, following her.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure you've already met him. Bartholomew said he'd run into a Master who handed him his ass, I assume that was you," Euryale paused, doing something with her hair.

"Oh, so you meant that guy. He sure was . . actually, he seemed pretty brainwashed for someone working under a goddess who can't brainwash people," Nikki frowned, suspicious. "Also, why are you changing your hairstyle?"

Euryale had undone her twin ponytails and draped her fringe over one eye. "Simple, really. This man is an incredibly crass, vulgar and simple-minded creature. He'll slavishly obey the demands of anyone who styles their hair . . like . . this," she scoffed, tossing her head and demonstrating that her left eye was now covered by her hair, which was no longer done up but hung in a curtain around her shoulders.

She paused, noticing the way Nikki's eyes narrowed incredulously. "I'm serious! I know it sounds ridiculous, but it's true! Ask him when he arrives!"

"EURYAAAAAALE!" A lovestruck pirate with a deep tan screamed, speeding across the sand from the boat that had just beached itself not far from the Argo.

"Barty! Hello, handsome," Euryale cooed, dodging to the side as he tried to hug her. "Up-bup-bup,"

"Let me hold you and love you!" Bartholomew whined.

". . You're sure he's not brainwashed?" Nikki asked, as much to interrupt the scene before her as anything.

Her question was ignored as Bartholomew flailed at Euryale.

She groaned and grabbed the pirate by the scruff of his neck. "Right. Bartholomew, was it? We're going to need every advantage we can get, so I want you both to make contracts with me. Everyone else on the island already has. The reserves of a rogue Servant compared to having access to Chaldea's batteries might make the difference between victory and defeat, or at least life and death," Nikki put forward.

"No thanks, you're not my type at all," Bartholomew shot her down.

"Oh Barty? I contracted with her too, so I'd really like it if you were to join me," Euryale cooed.

"Of course, Euryale! Anything for you!" he gushed, grabbing Nikki's hand. "Body, destiny, yadda yadda," he dismissively told her, which apparently was enough because the seals flashed and the connection snapped into place.

"Okay, why exactly are you so happy to obey Euryale's every word?" Nikki questioned, wanting the answer from Bartholomew.

"Simple! She's a beautiful goddess adorned with the one perfect hairstyle!" Bartholomew beamed, gesturing to her with stars in his eyes.

". . wow. He really is just that simple-minded, then," the Master mumbled in bemusement.

"So, that's my last friend accounted for. What about you? Are we still waiting on King Arthur?" Euryale asked, her one visible eye regarding Nikki with irritation.

"She should be here any time now," When hearing that Tyler was almost done in Orleans - which honestly made her grumpy; he wasn't a batter Master than her, right? He just had easier circumstances. It wasn't as though he'd discovered he needed to kill a god - and that Altria would be available again soon, she'd supported waiting for Bartholomew to arrive because hopefully it would also buy Chaldea enough time to reunite her with her second Servant. "Da Vinci? How's it looking?"

X

"All good over here, darling. Just waiting on Romani before throwing the switch,"

As if on cue, a certain medical director burst into the control room. "I'm here. What's the situation?"

"We need to reunite Altria with her Master before her Saint Graph is fully depleted of magical energy. It's a miracle she's lasted this long already," Da Vinci clarified. "I've already got a Coffin set up, we were just waiting on you,"

Tyler and not-Jeanne entered the control room in his wake, and immediately drew attention from the supervising Director. "Oh, Tyler you're here," Olga-Marie eyed him for a moment, then nodded. "Good work in Orleans. But we'll have a full debriefing later. Including the part where I disabuse you of the notion that you have the authority to reject contracting with Servants for some pathetic sentimental reason," she growled, on par with Fafnir's best.

Her first clue that she wasn't going to get very far was when Tyler shot her a look that was not fearful, not apologetic, not even angry, but merely tired. "Sure," he mumbled, and somehow that put an end to it.

"We're ready on this end, Nikki. Sending Altria to you now," Da Vinci told the microphone transmitting her words to Okeanos, and inside a Rayshift coffin, the corrupted Saber nodded, before vanishing into a tunnel of blue light. "Now, remember, we've got your general coordinates but there's a margin of error. It's programmed to only complete the transfer if there's a stable surface of adequate size, so you shouldn't need to go fishing, but I'm not sure where exactly where on Minos she's going to pop out. It could be anywhere within range with solid ground to stand on,"

X

"Well, that's fine. I'm in the middle of the island, and Asterios is down in the Labyrinth just in case she appears somewhere down there. When she gets here, we'll go over the plan one more time then commence the operation," Nikki reported.

"And no getting lost this time?" Dr. Roman teased.

Nikki didn't dignify that with a response.

"Altria should arrive within the next five seconds. Now scanning, identifying her location . . oh. Oh dear," Da Vinci grimaced.

"What? Where is she?" her Master demanded.

"There's one location with stable ground in your vicinity that I don't think we planned for,"

X

Down in the ruins of Atlantis, Altria hastily ducked behind a collapsed pillar. But it was no good, the gaze of Poseidon fixed on her as he turned a head large enough that he could eat her alive, sending the torn and tattered toga that was draped over his body fluttering. "Who are you, brave enough to intrude here? And why?"

"Uh, actually this was an accident," Altria weakly offered, raising her head, ". . damnit Master this is your fault isn't it?"

Poseidon scoffed. "Then suffer the fate that will befall the civilisation that birthed you, Heroic Spirit," he rumbled, lowering his Holy Grail and bringing it across in a sweeping motion as seawater continued to spill out of it.

"Oh, shit shit shit Master I blame you for this!" Altria screamed and started running from the encroaching tsunami.

X

Leaving a string of curses in her wake, Nikki burst onto the beach above Atlantis where the rest of the Servants were gathered. "We're going! Now, now, now! Stick to the plan! Remember the contingencies! We can do this!"

"I'm up then!" Astolfo crowed. "Otherworldly Phantom Horse: Hippogriff!" His mount appeared beneath him, and he took off. Meanwhile, Nikki boarded the gangplank to join the Argonauts as Heracles shoved off. "Taisui! You know the plan! I have faith in you!" she yelled back.

"Hey, Master," Jason huffed. "Are you really arrogant enough to think this plan's going to work?"

"No. I've heard too many stories about Maguses who died because they assumed their plan was infallible," Nikki shook her head. "That's why I have my philosophy,"

"And what's that?" Atalante asked as Heracles jumped onto the boat as they drifted into the water, circling around the hole in the ocean where Poseidon was struggling to keep Atlantis afloat.

"If you make enough plans, one of them will work eventually! Now, everyone hold on tight! This is going to be a rollercoaster!"

The first hurdle of the battle against Poseidon had been 'how do we get everyone down to Atlantis?' The second was 'how do we distract Poseidon enough that he won't kill us while we're on the way down?'

Conveniently, Altria had provided a solution to the second of those questions, but that wasn't part of Nikki's plan. Instead, she'd come up with a way to solve both problems at once. "Jason! Now!"

"Go, we the Argonauts! Please don't let this kill me! The Dazzling Ship That Splits The Heavens: Astrapste Argo!" The Argo shone with golden light as it crested the waterfall above and behind Poseidon, fixated though he was on Altria. The wind blew and caught the sails, blowing the ship straight out into open air, where it began to fall.

Then it broke in half over Poseidon's head.

The impact as the keel cracked against his skull did little to a god's durability, but having an entire boat fall on top of him was sufficiently distracting to give Altria a reprieve. Poseidon's skull went straight through the hold as it crumpled around his head like an absurd hat, obscuring his eyes with breaking timbers.

"Abandon ship!" Nikki shrieked and leapt into the air, aiming as best she could towards Astolfo. The paladin swept past on his winged mount and caught her, while Atalante danced through the air towards the ground, Medea leapt off the stern and levitated downwards, and Heracles carried Jason and Asclepius towards the ruins below.

"Astolfo, second Noble Phantasm, while he's distracted!" Nikki yelled in his ear through the rushing wind around them.

"Master? Shouldn't I let you off first?"

"No time! I'll hold on tight! Go!"

Astolfo toothily grinned. "Okay then!" Spurring his Hippogriff, he banked around and manifested a lance in his right hand, holding the reins with his left. "Down With A Touch! Trap of Argalia!" He swooped in and slashed at the distracted god's exposed knee with his lance, before floating away and coming in for a landing where the others were regrouping. As he did, below the knee Poseidon's body flickered out and returned to Spirit Form.

Poseidon yelled in shocked pain and stumbled, dropping to his knees. His trident fell from his hand but he clutched the Grail close like a lifeline, bringing it to his chest even as he buckled over, the added weight on his head forcing him to crash to the ground in a pose that looked almost like prayer.

"Everyone!" Nikki yelled at the Argonauts. "Go to town! Jason, use your Noble Phantasm's second mode! Atalante, you too! Altria, give him the biggest, meanest blast of Excalibur ever!"

"Fine, if I have to! This is a righteous fight, we are here to save the world! I even sacrificed my ship for this, not that I ever agreed to that! The Dazzling Ship That Splits The Heavens: Astrapste Argo!" Even as he whined and fumed, ghosts formed around Jason, quickly resolving into another two dozen shadowy warriors of Greek legend. This was the true power of Jason's Noble Phantasm, the manifestation of his status as the leader of heroes: it allowed him to call to his side as many of the Argonauts as either he could sustain, or as were willing to answer.

"Twenty-four? What? I've never seen this Noble Phantasm work so well!" he gasped, looking around at the crewmates he'd had in life in disbelief.

"Well, captain, you never once activated it with the goal of saving the world!" Orpheus retorted. "It's a pity you're so weak, or every last one of the Argonauts would be here! Now, come! We do battle!"

"Wait, me too? You're sure that's really necessary? Hang on!" Jason yelped as the mob of heroes dragged him to where they were all haphazardly hacking at Poseidon's exposed flesh, the magically inclined among them - including Asclepius and Medea - aiding with enhancement spells and magical bolts.

"Everyone, clear a path!" Altria hollered, hefting her sword, and the manifested Argonauts got out of her way, save for a particular disoriented blond.

"Eh?" Jason frowned, picking himself up. "Oh crap! Wait!" he shrieked and dodged out of the way.

"Vortigern, Hammer of the Vile King. Reverse the rising sun! Sword of Promised Victory: Excalibur Morgan!" Altria shrieked with glee, thrilled to have her source of mana back and to be able to throw out her sword beam with impunity once again. The black and red laser lashed out, burning a circular hole into Poseidon's shoulder.

As this was going on, Atalante nocked two arrows and aimed high. "Complaint Message On The Arrow: Phoebus Catastrophe!" A pair of green shots went high into the air, and the sky went dark. Then a hail of arrows came pouring down, green and blue and golden lights raining all over the exposed back of the god.

Jason yelped and dodged a stray arrow that fell too close to him. "Watch where you're shooting those things, damnit!" he barked.

It was at that point that he saw Heracles and his club charging towards the exposed chunk of divine ribcage behind him. "Heracles? Don't do it! Don't you dare do it!"

The hero elbowed Jason to the side and sent him into the ground with a splash, starting a furious string of assaults with his club. "He went and did it," he mumbled, coughing up seawater.

Then he paused, realising he had landed in ankle-deep water. "Eh? Weren't we fighting on solid ground a minute ago?"

Up on the hippogriff, Nikki and Astolfo were acting as overwatch. "Astolfo, you have the better eyes. How's it going? Is he hurt?"

"Excalibur really packs a punch. Good call recruiting her, Master, she's really great at this!" Astolfo cheered.

But as they spoke, Poseidon roared, and the wreckage of the Argo was blown away as he lifted his head and forced himself upwards, glaring down at the Servants with hate in his eyes. "What is this?!" he roared, holding the Grail to his chest even as it continued to pump out seawater, turning his pectorals into a waterfall.

"He's healing!" Medea shrieked, and sure enough, the damage they'd inflicted was already beginning to be erased as the watery Grail shone with light. Even the holes that had been torn into his toga were stitching themselves back together.

"Yeah I knew Plan A probably wouldn't be enough. Plan B, everybody!" Nikki hollered. "Keep him off-balance!" she added to the mob of Argonauts that had appeared at Jason's commands. "Astolfo, that lance made his leg disappear. Are you sure you can't do it to his arm?"

"Sorry, Master, I don't think so," the pinkette shrugged apologetically.

"Would have been convenient - wait. We have an opportunity here. Heracles!" she hollered, her eyes catching on the twenty-foot golden trident that had slipped from Poseidon's hands. "Grab the trident! Get rid of it! Don't let him get it back!"

With a nod and a flying leap, Heracles flew over Poseidon's regenerating legs and put himself between the Divine Spirit and his Divine Construct. "You would deny me my own weapon?" the god rumbled, his right arm flashing out - but Heracles deflected the strike with his club. Then he dropped it, grabbing the massive weapon with both hands and pouring every ounce of his supernatural strength into throwing the trident as far away as he could. It flew over the walls of water that surrounded Atlantis and vanished into the middle distance with a splash.

For a second, Poseidon glared at Heracles, who sneered back, but rather than strike again, his head swivelled and locked onto the flying mount that was circling above the army arrayed against him.

For the first time, Nikki got a clear look at the God's face. It looked human, and decrepit; a Greek-looking man who had once been supernaturally handsome but age had chipped and worn away at his features until they were crisscrossed with crows' feet, his hair and beard turning wispy, scraggly and white. Eyes like maelstroms leered are her, swirling vortexes of green and blue. "The leader," he snarled.

"Oi!" Poseidon's gaze swept down and looked down at the Heroic Spirits again. "You think that lady up there's the leader? Don't be silly! You want this guy, right here!" Medea yelled, gesturing to Jason.

For a moment, the Divine Spirit stared, and then his lips twisted. "Jason. Leader of the Argonauts. The most pitiful wretch to ever sail my seas, and all the more so for your unbridled arrogance. It doesn't surprise me at all that you would be the ringleader in a scheme such as this,"

A smirk was fixed on Jason's face, eyes wide as blood left his cheeks. Words squeaked out of the corner of his mouth. "Did you have to point him at me?"

"Of course," Medea crooned. "I'm just doing my part as an ally of Chaldea, nothing more nothing less. Now I'm going to go and stand next to Asclepius, have fun with your new friend!"

"What is it you hope to gain by besting me? Your own status as deity perhaps?" Poseidon demanded, looming over the blond as the pinkette scurried away.

"Wait, is that on the table?" Jason was suddenly hopeful. Several of the manifested Argonauts cast him aggrieved looks and started to flicker, but he immediately recollected himself. "I mean, no! Nothing so self-serving! You're using that Holy Grail to flood the world, and for all the people who deserve to live in it I won't allow that!"

"Oh," Poseidon sneered. "So you've grown a conscience. How bothersome," And then he swept the cup out, generating another tidal wave that crashed into the Argonauts, knocking them down like dominos and causing several to vanish as Jason lost his already-tenuous grip on his Noble Phantasm.

Poseidon advanced, but there was a mighty bellow and someone landed with a thunk between him and the other heroes. Asterios roared wordlessly at him, demanding attention.

Poseidon dismissively reached down to swat him away - but paused as Asterios, despite being only one-quarter his size, caught his hand and pushed it back. "Fight. Me!" he roared.

"Okay, so we're up to plan C already. We need to get the Grail away from him or he'll just keep healing," Nikki mused. She looked back to see that Jason's Argonauts were already flickering out, and grimaced, glancing at her Command Seals. "Should I . . no, not for this,"

Poseidon met Asterios' challenge, bringing a fist down that the Minotaur again deflected. Axes appeared in his hands and he leapt skywards, bringing them back before burying them in the Divine Spirit's chest like a mountain climber. He bellowed in pain, using his free hand to try to knock Asterios off while the other was still clenched tight around the Grail.

"We need to harry him enough that he needs to use both hands," Nikki resolved. "Heracles! Get behind him and start hitting him there!"

With an assenting bellow, the grey muscle mountain slammed his club into Poseidon's back, but the twenty-foot god ignored him, instead looking up at the Hippogriff again. "You deceived me," he growled, standing up to his full height. "I was right, you are the Master," he hissed.

However, before Nikki could do more than begin to panic, by some unspoken signal of assent both Heracles and Asterios swung their weapons at a spot between the god's legs.

Poseidon's eyes went wide and he staggered, everyone quickly remembering that he was still a man.

"Huh. Should have made that part of the plan," Nikki observed, nodding.

The god bellowed in fury, crouching again and backhanding Heracles into a pile of rubble that had once been a house. "You dare?!" he roared, kicking Asterios. The Minotaur caught it, of course, but the force of the blow still swept him off his feet and sent him skidding away. The stalemate broken, Poseidon charged, bringing his hands together to snatch the Hippogriff out of the air.

"Dodge!" Nikki yelled, quite unnecessarily in Astolfo's opinion, and the Hippogriff was already wheeling.

"Now's a good time for a trump card!" the Master yelled at the Argonauts.

For a moment, Jason, Asclepius, Medea and Atalante exchanged glances, then all eyes went to Altria as the enraged god chased their Master. "Excalibur's still recharging. If someone can buy me another two minutes, I can help,"

"Don't look at us, we're Casters!" Medea protested.

"You already saw the best I had to offer," Jason apologetically put forward.

Atalante hesitated, and the attention moved to her.

"Fine!" the huntress shrieked, and something flashed into existence in her hand. Was it a scarf? A cloak? Nikki couldn't tell. "We've come too far, no matter the cost we will win this! Boar of Divine Punishment: Agrius Metamorphosis!" No, it was neither. It was a pelt. And as she draped it around her neck, it enveloped her and transformed her. Her clothes evaporated and were replaced by armour made from the pelt, her hair bleached from gold-and-green to white, and her eyes flashed yellow. Then she shrieked in fury, newly grown fangs bared, and threw herself at the back of Poseidon's knee, claws digging into his tendons.

The sea god cried out in baritone as he stumbled, dropping into a crouch and using his clenched left fist to brush her off. "Why is it always the knee with you people?" he glowered, looking down but finding no sign of Atalante.

Then his attention was diverted by a red-and-black sword beam to the face as Altria again shrieked "Reverse the rising sun! Sword of Promised Victory: Excalibur Morgan!"

Poseidon stumbled, and his left hand's grip on the Holy Grail slackened slightly.

"Hector! Now!" the warped Servsnt shrieked.

High above Atlantis, on the bow of Bartholomew Roberts' ship, Hektor, who had been waiting in the wings for the whole battle, nodded with a smile. "This old man has to admit, 'Master', that you make a good plan. Ultimate Unbroken Spear: Durindana Pilum!" he invoked, and the golden-tipped spear flew from his hands, soaring down through the air, amidst the sea foam, and ripping a hole straight through the butt of the god's hand.

It was arguably the worst possible moment to realise Atalante was hanging from his wrist. She pounced, shredding the muscles in his hand and using her transformed state's increased strength to force his fingers open.

Her arms emerged holding the Holy Grail, and she backflipped away, landing in a three-point superhero pose with the Grail tucked close to her chest.

With the angriest bellow they'd heard from him yet, Poseidon dived at her, but with a pulse of purple energy Atalante transformed again, this time warping entirely into a great black boar with the Grail between her tusks, and took off in a reckless charge, taking advantage of the time it took for Poseidon to regain his balance to reunite with the Argonauts and flash back into human - catgirl - form.

"Take this and fly," she commanded, throwing the Grail into Medea's hands, then threw herself back towards the fight.

"Eh? R-really? You're just giving this to me?" she blinked.

"Fly!" Asclepius cajoled her, already focusing on Atalante and channeling magic to heal the injuries she'd taken while stealing the Grail.

Growling in frustration, Poseidon's stormy eyes lit up with energy as writhing seafoam appeared in his hand, focused on the escaping Caster and preparing to blast her out of the sky.

As he did, Nikki inhaled sharply, then cupped her hands to her mouth and yelled, "Initiate Plan D!"

It was at that point that the second boat was dropped on Poseidon's head.

Bartholomew Roberts screamed as Hektor carried him free of the wreckage of his ship, Euryale dancing through the air in pursuit. Nikki carefully watched as the stern of the ship crashed to the ground at Poseidon's feet, and was about to cheer. Euryale did cheer, calling out, "Plan 'Down With The Ship' worked wonderfully!"

Then Poseidon, one eye visible despite wearing the prow of a galleon like a malformed hat, snatched Bartholomew and Hektor out of the air. "First it was Jason. Him doing this doesn't surprise me. But what about you, Rider? What do you have to say for yourself?" the sea god snarled at him as Hector struggled to free himself.

A cruel smile blossomed on the pirate's face as he raised his one free arm. "That you haven't noticed, but you're surrounded!" He snapped his fingers. "Howl of the Noble Pirate Baron: Black Dirty Barti Howling!"

Poseidon looked up in surprise, just as, all around the edges of the circular waterfall surrounding Atlantis, a fleet of pirate ships materialised. Then a veritable hailstorm of cannonballs came flying from their gunwales, targeting him from every direction.

The god simply ducked and let the assault fly over his head, leering down at the two Servants in his grasp. "Was that the best you could do?"

"Figured . . it was worth a try!" Bartholomew squeaked. Hektor just sighed in exasperation.

Then Asterios came flying in, and his axes bit deep into Poseidon's wrist. The god roared in pain, and Asterios roared back, even as Hektor and Bartholomew fought to escape the divine grasp.

"No. Here, all of you will die," Poseidon rumbled, and punched Asterios into the ground with the hand holding the two Servants, then pressed his other hand down to crush all three of them into the crater formed by Asterios' body.

"Heracles!" Nikki shrieked as the three Servants were slowly crushed, using one hand to cup her mouth while the other reached around to touch her Command Seals. "By the power of my Command Spell! Strike him with your Noble Phantasm, using the stern of the ship as a weapon!"

That last part was so unexpected that even Poseidon paused for a moment as her Command Spell flickered away into energy, eyes swiveling to focus on her in genuine confusion. ". . what?"

Nikki smiled a smile of pure, exhilarating glee. "All part of the plan," she retorted in a moment of transient silence.

Then Heracles, bellowing "Shooting the . . . Hundred Heads: Nine . . . Lives!" took advantage of Poseidon's head no longer wearing the front half of Bartholomew's ship to start beating him with the back half of it, sending splinters and chunks of driftwood in every direction, before finally smashing it onto his head and forcing him to the ground on his side, once again wearing a massive, broken piece of ship like a hat.

A cloud of glowing golden particles emerged from the crater where Bartholomew, Hektor and Asterios had been, and for a moment Nikki grimaced - then a smile tugged at her lips as Asterios emerged, dazed, brutalised and favouring his right leg but intact. She took half a second to close her eyes, silently thanking Hektor and Bartholomew for their aid and wishing them well when they were next summoned, then her eyes snapped open and she refocused on the battle. "Plan E! Quick!" the Master commanded, seeing that Poseidon was once again starting to stir.

But Poseidon, rather than standing, lashed out with his leg and delivered another crushing blow, right as Heracles landed in a pile of debris right next to the edge of Atlantis. His eye shifted to focus on his demigod nephew. "If nothing else, you will die!" he bellowed, wildly gesticulating with his arm, and the ocean split above the demigod, collapsing downwards and crushing the Berserker under divine retribution. Heracles bellowed, struggling and raging, but Poseidon just sneered. "You should not have stood against me, nephew," The blows keeps coming, even as vitality noticeably drained from Poseidon's flesh.

Finally, after a particularly crushing blow, he hit the ground, face first, and went still.

"Damnit," Nikki breathed

Poseidon looked up, to see Euryale offering him a smile as sweet and murderous as tooth decay. "Hiiiiii! Remember me?" she simpered.

". . no?" the god frowned.

Euryale scowled. "Then remember this for however many minutes are left of your miserable life; this is for what you did to my sister! Goddess' Gaze: Eye of the Euryale!" Her silver bow manifested in her hands and she drew back an arrow with a heart-shaped tip, before sending it flying straight into Poseidon's eye.

He twitched, before going still and staring at her with a sigh. "Oh, Euryale, you're so . . beautiful . ."

Euryale just giggled. "I think I like Plan E," She clenched her fists and yelled, "This is the best chance you'll get, you fake god! Go already!"

Poseidon frowned, still stricken by artificial infatuation. ". . huh?"

Then the cabin of the ship that he was still wearing like a hat exploded.

Taisui floated there, arms crossed over his chest. "Finally," he sighed. "I'm sure this plan would have worked without waking me up,"

"You said yourself it was the best way to make the most of your Noble Phantasm," Nikki yelled back.

This had been the real plan all along. Everything else had been distraction and softening him up, making him tired and dizzy enough that he wouldn't even notice when Heracles put the cabin they'd hidden Taisui in right on top of his head. Taisui had warned that Poseidon would likely recognise him as the only true threat to his life, so one overwhelmingly powerful sneak attack was their best chance.

Four extra arms, with similar circular tattoos to the ones on his hands, sprouted from his back and spread wide as the sky went dark. Green light appeared behind him, flickering and growing into a massive black and green sun. Turquoise of energy pulsed out from it in all directions, and a green eye blossomed in the middle of the construct, staring down at Poseidon.

". . oh," Poseidon mumbled, his head going back as he glanced upwards at the descending embodiment of divine punishment.

"Moving Ground Above Taisui: Taisu Awaken," Taisui dispassionately cast, backflipping in midair and bringing the construct down on Poseidon's skull, where it erupted like a supernova.

Everyone was forced to avert their eyes or risk going blind. Astolfo turned away and started gaining as much distance as possible, Nikki burying her face in his mantle.

After what felt like much too long, the light faded and Astolfo risked turning back.

The first thing she noticed was that the waterfalls were beginning to collapse, and Atlantis - much later than it should have - was finally beginning to sink.

The first thing Astolfo noticed had him spurring the Hippogriff into a dive towards the crater that had replaced Poseidon's head. "Be ready to grab Taisui and hold on tight!" he yelled at his Master.

"What? But - the waves! What about -"

"Master, everyone else are Servants who can swim, they'll all be fine. But Taisui's unconscious down there, he'll drown! Or get pulled out to sea - either way we'll lose them!"

"Right!" The water was already rushing into the hole when Astolfo landed, and Nikki froze. "Is this Taisui?"

The man before them - well, he wasn't anymore. He had shrunk, regressing into a petite youth, early teens if Nikki had to guess. Regardless, the same basic appearance was kept, but there were some subtle differences too. It was sort of like two different artists had drawn Taisui, and she was seeing the contrast.

"I don't see another one around here," Astolfo pointed out. "Maybe it's some weird Noble Phantasm that makes him younger?"

". . Good enough," Nikki decided, pulling him onto the back of the Hippogriff and holding the unconscious boy in her lap. Astolfo took off again, and they leapt back into the air with seafoam nipping at the mount's claws.

A few moments later, they skidded onto the beach. "Good work, buddy, that was a real workout, huh? Go rest," Astolfo lovingly petted the Hippogriff, who crowned and vanished into Spiritrons, dumping its three passengers onto the sand.

Taisui hit the ground with a snore, which at least confirmed he wasn't dead. Astolfo joined him. "Jeez, that was tough, huh?"

"It was. But we did it," Nikki smiled. "We . . we actually did it,"

Over the course of the next half hour, the surviving Servants limped ashore and joined Nikki, Astolfo and Taisui in a disparate pile on the beach.

"Well. Aren't we a sorry lot?" Asclepius observed, one of the last to appear on the beach.

"Who cares?" Medea, who had emerged from the tree line, Holy Grail in tow, sighed. "We're a sorry lot that won," She was the only surviving Argonaut who was perfectly dry.

"Hey," Nikki looked around, realising they were short one of their two mountains of muscle. "Where's Heracles?"

"That was a fatal blow, that Poseidon dealt him, Master," Atalante sighed.

"Yes, but he's Heracles. Doesn't he have that whole 'come back to life' thing?"

"Oh, we only wish it were that simple," Jason groaned from where he was spread-eagled on his back. "It's actually an ability that lets him, just, ignore attacks that don't meet a certain 'rank'. He just literally can't be killed by things that aren't important enough to kill him. Unfortunately, as you might guess,"

"Poseidon's important enough to kill Heracles," Nikki finished the thought and groaned. "Well, that sucks,"

"Hear hear! A toast, to one of the best heroes to ever sail under great Captain Jason! May he rest in . . wait, we don't have any alcohol. Why is the rum always gone?" Jason whined.

Medea cast him a flat look. "Ugh, I swear, why did Heracles have to die but you survived? You weak, pathetic, king of the incompetents,"

"Hahaha, I know you love me, Medea my dear!"

"I will stab you! There's plenty of driftwood around! I'll beat you to death all over again and this time as a Servant it'll take longer but feel all the sweeter for it!"

"Ahh, young love is so precious, isn't it Asterios?" Euryale teased.

"I swear to Apollo I will make you regret that," the younger Caster glowered.

"Mum?" An unfamiliar voice spoke up, and everyone stopped as the younger Taisui sat up.

Medea, who seemed to have been struck dumb, spluttered, ". . eh?"

"Oh. No, whoops, you're not mum. Sorry, for a second you sounded like her," Taisui bowed his head to Medea, before looking around. "So, did we get him?"

"Uh. Yeah. Yeah, we got him," Nikki confirmed. "What happened to you, though? You were an adult before using your Noble Phantasm,"

"Oh, that. This just happens sometimes. I kinda got stuck in my adult form for a bit, but it looks like that snapped me out of it! It's fine, I like being this side of me much better," Taisui assured them with a sunny smile that was entirely uncharacteristic of the man he'd been before.

"Um . . really?" his Master asked, still confused.

"Yeah!" There was a pop, and suddenly Taisui was an adult again. "I guess, if you really want me to, I can stay like this," he mumbled. "Whatever, anyway,"

"Uh, no, no, do what's comfortable! You're fine! I was just, uh, surprised," Nikki assured him.

Another pop, and the child was back. "Okay!"

"Yeah, I like the little guy more too. Adult you is a downer," Astolfo grinned, ruffling his still waist-length hair.

"He's sorta not wrong about the world sucking at times," Taisui shrugged. "But that doesn't mean you have to say it, yeah?"

"Hear, hear!" Jason yelled from the beach, where he still hadn't even sat up.

"I'm just glad we didn't lose you too," Nikki smiled at him. She sighed a bit. "On the downside, that victory cost us both of our ships and we lost more allies than I wanted to . . on the upside, we have the Grail now, so we can summon more!"

"Eh, wouldn't count on that," Medea pointed out, twirling the cup in her fingers. "Sorry to say, but as Holy Grails go this is a pretty unimpressive specimen. Poseidon already drained most of its power. A Grail is a Grail so it's a long way from useless, but summoning Servants unaided might be beyond this one,"

"Right. Will it get us a new Argo, at least?" Nikki asked.

Medea smiled sweetly at her. "I think I can manage. Give me a couple of hours,"

Chapter Text

That night, the Chaldean Servants regrouped at the campsite they'd set up outside the entrance to the Labyrinth. Fortunately, given that the plan had called for sacrificing the Argo, they'd had the foresight to unload anything that wasn't necessary, which had included plenty of camping equipment and a week's worth of provisions. It had already been mid-afternoon when they'd set out to fight Poseidon, and after such a hectic battle no one wanted to do anything else on that day.

Except Nikki, for whom planning was a way of life. "So, we need to talk about what we're going to do about Drake,"

"Do we have to?" Jason whined. Atalante kicked him. "Ow!" he complained. "Seriously. So she has another Grail, big whoop. We just killed a god, we can do anything!"

"Unlike the one Poseidon was using, hers is presumably fully charged. It's not native to this time, after all, it's brand new," Medea snippily corrected her onetime husband. After an hour of work, she'd coaxed the Grail into spitting out a brand new replica of the Argo, which was currently docked on the shores above Atlantis and was now taking a well-deserved rest.

"There's another problem with fighting Drake for her Grail," Da Vinci's hologram flickered to life. "She's the living historical Sir Francis Drake, even if she doesn't look like it for some reason. You can't kill her, or it'll crash this Singularity,"

"Not only that, we need to leave the Grail we've got with her while we take possession of the one she has. This is a toughie," Taisui off-handedly added.

Everyone paused and turned to look at him. ". . why in the name of all things holy would we do that?" Nikki questioned.

"What? It's Proper Human History. Do you all not know what happened?" Taisui asked, sounding honestly confused.

A resounding chorus of negatives answered him, and he grumbled, sitting up and popping into his adult form. "Right, ugh. So we just killed Poseidon. That was supposed to be Francis Drake. It took her seven days of fighting with her crew, but she brought him low and claimed the Grail as her own,"

"Seven days?" Jason parroted. "Why do I suddenly feel like we got off easy?"

"The man who stood around like an idiot for most of the fight doesn't get to say we got off easy!" Medea barked.

"As I was saying," Taisui droned, "for history to play out the way it's supposed to, Francis Drake needs to get her hands on this Grail. Worse, it needs to accept her as its rightful owner. Which is kind of a problem, because it did that in Proper Human History as a result of her killing Poseidon,"

"So now it thinks we're its rightful holders," Nikki guessed.

"You sure about that? Damn thing barely wanted to work for me at all," Medea grumbled, going to kick the shining golden cup but thinking better of it at the last minute. "Unless that was because . . no, no, that can't be it,"

"What can't be? There's no such thing as irrelevant information," the Master checked.

Medea pursed her lips for a moment. "Um, just, I didn't really do much of the fighting, I just supported you all. Maybe it doesn't think that's enough for it to like me?"

"Who knows? We're talking about the feelings of a cup," Jason reminded everyone, and they all nodded, though Taisui cast Medea a suspicious glance.

"Okay, so why is it so important that Drake gets this Grail?" Nikki asked.

"Because it was what let her circumnavigate the world. You know how everyone thought that was impossible before Francis Drake?" Taisui resumed the story, raising his eyebrows suggestively. "She wished to do the impossible, and it took everything this Grail had to make it so,"

Nikki considered this. "Oh. Well, shit. And we just wasted its energy on building a new boat,"

"Don't worry, that'll be fine," Da Vinci assured her. "It's still a Holy Grail. I'm sure that a little boat here or there won't really dent it, even when it's as weak as this one. It's a good thing we didn't try to use it to summon a Servant, though, that would have been big trouble if what you're saying is true," she frowned at Taisui. "And I'll admit that it all makes sense, but I didn't actually know any of that," she frowned. "Which makes me wonder how you do,"

Taisui pursed his lips and popped back into child form. "I can tell ya, but you'll think it's gross,"

"Try us," his Master requested.

"My existence is conceptually attached to an underground mass of flesh that's existed for millennia and observed a lot of major historical events. Trust me, I remember the things that wake me up, and a Holy Grail warping the rules of the world to allow circumnavigation was a biggie. Took me months to get comfortable again," he irritably mumbled.

No one was quite sure what to make of that. ". . Ah," Nikki observed. "Right. So, to summarise, to fix this Singularity we need to take Drake's Grail and trick her into winning our Grail from us, without killing her. Jeez, what a pain. I'm starting to think we shouldn't even fight her, just sneak on board her ship, steal the cup, get caught on purpose on the way out and 'accidentally' leave our Grail behind while we flee,"

Everyone suddenly stared at her.

". . what?"

"I do believe, that is exactly what we should do," Asclepius chuckled.

"Did someone say we're doing a heist?" Jason was suddenly sitting up and looking around with glee. "Perfect! Heists are my specialty!"

"There is a problem," Atalante weighed in. "None of us are very good at being sneaky. We've got the Casters, a very flamboyant paladin, a King of Knights, the man who wears solid gold underwear,"

"So you've seen my underwear?" Jason cast a twisted smile at her, and Atalante visibly shuddered, before continuing, "Taisui, and the honest to Artemis Minotaur. Euryale and I are the only ones with a modicum of stealth ability, and we don't have a single Assassin,"

"Oh, you're quite mad if you think I plan to get my hands dirty with such matters. There's no possible way it would end well, at all," Euryale assured her.

"If it's an Assassin you need, Tyler did happen to bring someone back from Orleans who might be able to help," Da Vinci told them via telepresence.

"Oh, we actually do have an Assassin? Great!" Nikki smiled. "Is everyone still there?"

"I certainly am," Director Olga-Marie joined Da Vinci on the screen. "Romani's here too, but Tyler and his lot are resting,"

X

"So we need to send Charlotte to Okeanos, then," Olga-Marie concluded in the control room at Chaldea. "Alright, have Tyler and his Servants prepared for Rayshift,"

"Director, with all due respect, absolutely not," Dr. Roman interceded. "He's not ready. He's hurt, tired and grief-stricken, he needs time to heal before going back into all that,"

"I don't like it either, but what choice do we have? We can't send a Servant there without their Master. We were lucky not to lose Altria that way,"

"I don't care. He's not ready and I won't allow it. I'm sorry, Director, but I have to put my foot down as chief medical officer here. Tyler is not cleared to Rayshift,"

"Well," Da Vinci pointed out with her ever-present smile, "We do have a third Master,"

Both blinked at her for a moment.

Olga-Marie shook her head. "No. No, absolutely not,"

X

"Yes! Yes, please! Absolutely! I can do it! I won't let you down I promise! Send me in!" Era begged. Finally! This was her chance! She'd been pushed to the side, ignored and written off since returning to Fuyuki. It wasn't fair that Tyler and Nikki got to save the world and she didn't! She was just as good as either of them!

"Well, she's certainly willing," Da Vinci nodded.

"I can't believe we're actually considering sending an eleven-year-old to help save the world," Olga-Marie muttered to herself.

"She's just going to be there as a source of mana, Director. The Servants will do all the work, she'll stay in the Labyrinth where it's safe until it's all over," the Caster reassured her. "Besides, she has all of those protective charms. Even if they won't stand up to a Noble Phantasm, there are plenty of other situations where they might save her life,"

"Uh, yeah! That's totally what's gonna happen!" Era nodded.

"Fou!" Everyone looked down at the fluffy white creature that had alternated between treating Era as a troublesome child and using the still-comatose Mash as a bed, who was chirping in agreement.

Both administrators cast Master and pet flat looks. "Era, I'm serious. It's dangerous out there, you could die," Olga-Marie frowned.

"Tyler didn't,"

"He came very close to it, though," Dr. Roman sternly explained. "He certainly would have died if he hadn't -" the words caught in his throat, remembering that they were trying to keep the Curse secret, "- been very lucky," he lamely finished.

"Then I'll be lucky too!" Era protested. Fou punctuated the statement with an encouraging cry.

"That's . . not . ." the medical chief spluttered.

"I think we'd all prefer if you were careful," Da Vinci rescued him. "Unfortunately, it seems sending you in is our best option. It's late, so we'll wait until tomorrow morning. Get some rest, and get ready,"

"Sita," Olga-Marie addressed the Archer, who'd been faithfully watching over Era since returning from Fuyuki. "I trust it goes without saying that you'll guard her with your life?"

"Of course!" she nodded, looking almost offended.

"Good. I do not want to do this, not one bit, but it seems we've got no choice but to send her in again. But that doesn't mean I want her coming anywhere near anything dangerous, so keep her far away from all the fighting,"

"I shan't settle for anything less," Sita promised her.

"Right. Good," Olga-Marie exhaled a bit. "Go and get some rest, then. Tomorrow morning's going to be busy,"

She had no idea how true those words would prove to be.

X

"Hey, Master. I had a dream last night, and I think it was about you," Astolfo nonchalantly mentioned over breakfast at the Chaldean camp side.

"Huh? . . um, what did you see?" Nikki blinked.

"Books. Ugh. Your backstory is boring, Master," the pinkette whined.

His Master wrinkled her nose. ". . . well, forgive me for not being an anime protagonist,"

She looked around. Asterios was still snoring, Euryale settled next to him. Jason was sprawled in a heap. Astolfo was frying some fish as breakfast. There was no sign of Taisui, Atalante or Medea, save some faint footprints, but she trusted the Servants to take care of themselves.

"Nikki? Good morning!" Da Vinci broadcast through her communicator, and she started a bit. "Oh, good morning, Da Vinci. How goes it?"

"Well! We're preparing to Rayshift Era, Sita and Charlotte to you now,"

An eyebrow shot up on her face. "Era? What happened to Tyler?"

"Medical leave," Dr. Roman weighed in.

". . ah. Is he hurt?"

"Emotionally, yes. We're working on it. In the meantime, you've got Era," the doctor explained.

Nikki stifled a grumble to herself. "Got it. Well, we're ready. Let's try to avoid any mishaps this time?"

"We'll do our best," Da Vinci assured her with the same wan chuckle. "Commencing Rayshift,"

Moments later, a trio of flashes in the air got their attention, and Era screamed as she realised there was no solid ground underneath her.

Before she could do more than begin to fall, a green blur caught her and Atalante hit the ground, holding her in a princess carry. "Are you alright?"

"Whoa. Uh, yeah," Era mumbled, seeming entranced by Atalante's ears as they twitched.

The Archer set her down, only for Sita to immediately begin fussing over her. Once the red-haired Archer was satisfied, she turned to Atalante and offered a bow. "Thank you for assisting my Master. If I'd been more prepared, I would have . ." She scowled to herself, then reiterated, "Thank you!"

"I'm okay too! If anyone was wondering!" Charlotte Corday called out from where she was facedown in the dirt.

Atalante though, seemed stricken. "Master?" she repeated, before looking to Nikki as the others approached. "Nikki, why is there a child here with this strange Servant calling her Master?"

"This is Era. She's one of the only three Masters we've got, counting myself. Apparently, Tyler's still recovering from his trip to France, so they had no choice but to send in option C,"

"But . . she's a child," Atalante insisted.

"No one's happy about it, but there are less than a hundred humans still alive in our time and most of them are comatose, so . ." Nikki heaved out a sigh. "We're doing our best, and we just don't have the luxury of letting her sit out,"

The huntress considered this. ". . . Master, I have a request,"

"What is it?"

"I want you to transfer my contract to Era. You've already contracted with everyone else here, while she seems to only have these two," A guilty expression crossed Atalante's face. "To be entirely honest, I had intended to dissolve our contract once we had recovered Drake's Grail anyway, I'm hesitant to let myself get pulled into this entire affair. I still am. However . . I can't in good conscience return to the Throne knowing that I could be protecting a child who happened to get caught up in this mess. So please, let me do this,"

Considering this, the elder Master narrowed her eyes.

"I'll take her! I'd love to!" Era nodded. "Fou!" someone agreed.

All eyes turned to the white quadrupedal creature that was worming his way out of Era's Mystic Code. "Oh! Fou! You shouldn't really be here. I'm glad you came though!" his unwitting transportation cooed.

Having entirely lost her train of thought, Nikki could only bring up her communicator and ask, "Dr. Roman, why is the squirrel here?"

"What?" The doctor squinted at the screen for a moment. "Uh . . I honestly have no idea. Era, did you bring him on purpose?"

"He didn't want to let me go alone!" she protested.

"We are talking about a . . uh . . I have no idea what Fou is but he is an animal. Why would you bring him? He doesn't contribute at all,"

"He's fluffy!" Era eloquently retorted.

Nikki considered this. ". . This isn't worth arguing about. Just, take care of him, alright?"

"Master, please let me protect her," Was Atalante giving her puppy dog eyes? The greatest huntress of the Argonauts was giving her puppy dog eyes. Nikki was disappointed to see that her expectations regarding the dignity of Greek heroes could sink ever lower.

"Hold on. Explain this to me; you just openly admitted that you were planning to nope out on me as soon as you could do so with a clear conscience. Why should I trust you?" Nikki pressed.

"Because that was actually nothing to do with you, Master, and everything to do with him," Atalante's gaze strayed to where a certain blond captain was introducing himself to Charlotte, who was politely humouring his grandiose declarations.

Nikki also glanced at Jason. ". . Because I contracted with him too?"

"Essentially, yes, Master. I am rapidly growing tired of him," Atalante nodded. "But if he and I were under different Masters, I believe that would be enough separation for me to be comfortable with,"

". . you know what, I can't even blame you. After all, even as my Servant I have to admit that Jason's more trouble than he's worth," Nikki nodded sympathetically. "Alright, fine. I'll let you change Masters. But you protect Era with your life, alright?"

"Why do people keep saying that? I have plenty of protection already!" Era whined.

"Of course," Atalante nodded, and, as she closed her eyes and concentrated, Nikki felt something break. It was profoundly uncomfortable, even as it passed after merely a moment. "So that's what that feels like. I don't like it,"

As Atalante busied herself with making a contract with Era, Nikki decided to rouse Euryale. "Are you two awake?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Did you forget that Servants need no sleep?" Euryale asked without opening her eyes.

". . wait. What? But then why were you all -"

"There's a difference between not needing sleep and not needing one's beauty rest, fool," Euryale scoffed, sitting up and ceasing to feign sleep just so she could glare at Nikki. "Besides, no one was going to wake you up, so I decided I might as well enjoy it,"

"But . . Jason and Astolfo? And Altria?"

"I used lots of energy yesterday, and I was already low," Altria shrugged getting to her feet. "Decided to conserve as much energy as I could while I restored my reserves. As for those two? Wouldn't surprise me if they just forgot,"

". . I feel like I've been made the victim of a prank," Nikki grumbled.

"Well. No matter how accidental, that was hilarious," Euryale smirked, and Asterios released a single, baritone pearl of laughter.

"Whatever. Where're Taisui and Medea? We need to get back on the ocean. All the plans in the world won't help if we can't find -"

All conversation was suddenly interrupted by the sound of a cannon firing, loud and close enough to be heard all over the island. A very familiar voice, amplified to obscene levels, followed up by yelling, "Hail the Argonauts!"

"That's Drake!" Astolfo gasped.

"No, shit, how is she here already?" Nikki clenched her teeth. "Everyone! To the highest cliff! We need to see where she is and what she's doing!"

X

"Ah, a device that gives me endless opportunities for treasure and fun truly is the best," Drake crooned, stroking the cup. "All I had to do to find them again after our meeting two days ago was wish for a wind that would bring me right to them,"

"Yes, congratulations, Captain," Anne beamed.

"Now, let's see if they come out to meet me. Oh?" A glint caught Drake's eye, but she studiously avoided turning her head, instead watching the figures failing to be stealthy on an embankment some ways into the shore and several meters above her. "They're being cautious. Futile. But interesting!"

X

"Jason get down, you colossal idiot! You're wearing gold! They'll see the sunlight glinting off your armour!" Nikki snapped and dragged the unreliable Saber back into the dirt.

"But I can't see anything," he whined.

"So help me, if you don't grow a spine and some brain cells I will leave you behind!"

"It's the same situation as last time. They're moored fifty feet out from the coast, and I only see the two Servants on their ship," Atalante reported.

"I'm seeing the same. I assume the woman with the pink hair is Drake?" Sita checked. "She's holding the Grail, at any rate. I don't see them making any attempts to disembark,"

"Are they really waiting for us to come to them?" Euryale questioned, bemused.

"It looks like it. Good, we can use this to our advantage. Sita, stay here and watch them. Atalante, take Era back to the camp. Keep her safe. Everyone else, we'll get to the Argo and sail out to meet her. If they look like they're going to come ashore, Sita, stall them. If they do anything suspicious or outside expectations, come and tell us,"

"Understood," the Indian archer confirmed. Atalante was already leaving, Era and Fou in tow.

"We're on the clock, people, move - eh?" Nikki was cut off in the middle of making in the direction of the Argo by Asterios picking her and Euryale up. "You're the slowest one here, Master. Asterios will get us there in minutes,"

"Good plan!" she endorsed as Jason and Asclepius scrambled to keep up, Astolfo keeping pace with ease.

X

It wasn't long until they were at the Argo, and Nikki was relieved to find that Taisui and Medea were already there.

"Oh, Master! Phew! Can you tell this kid to leave me alone?" Medea whined. "He keeps following me around!"

"No time. Make ready, we need to go and confront Francis Drake," The Chaldean Servants piled into the boat. "Okay, we need plans. Charlotte, how good is your Presence Concealment?"

"It's only Rank C, but I do specialise in spywork. Sneaking onto the boat and finding the Grail shouldn't be any trouble at all as long as someone's distracting them," the maid assured them.

"Good. We need to get to the other side of the island and make contact before they decide to come looking for us,"

X

Meanwhile, Drake grumbled to herself. "No, we've waited long enough. It would have been nice if they'd come to us, but I want to see what sort of treasure they have squirrelled away,"

"Shall we order the men to prepare the landing craft?" Anne suggested.

"Absolutely. If they're preparing some kind of defence on that island, they must have something worth defending," The warped explorer smiled thinly, leaping from the deck of the Golden Hind and into the rowboat that was being lowered to the water's surface. "Everyone into the boats!" she yelled. "I want us at maximum strength for this!"

"Captain, shouldn't we leave someone to guard the ship?" Mary weighed in as another boat containing the pair and several human attendants was lowered to join her.

"Nah, why? Just enough people to make sure it won't drift away. Haven't you ever read adventure stories? No one ever attacks the ship, all the action happens on the islands! Now come, everyone! Oh - and bring Berserker too!"

"But, Captain, the Grail?"

"What sort of idiot do you take me for?" Drake scoffed. She opened the pocket of her greatcoat and golden light shone from within it. "Obviously, I'm keeping it with me. Nothing else on this ship matters as long as this little cup of joy is right here in my pocket. That's enough chatter, though! Get going!"

X

"Three Servants," Sita whispered, observing the party. Nikki had told her to stall, but against a Rider, a Berserker and a Ruler (if she actually was one, that class had requirements that she couldn't see Drake meeting even if she wasn't still the living historical Francis Drake) she'd barely last a minute.

Worse, they were headed in the direction of the campsite. Her Master was in danger.

It was only a few minutes' worth of desperate running before she reached the campsite. "Trouble!" she yelled, alerting Atalante, Era and Fou.

"What's happening?"

"Drake picked up a third Servant. All three of them and a small army of pirates are headed here. It's like she has a sixth sense for interesting or valuable things," Sita shook her head in frustration.

"Can she track us somehow?" Atalante asked.

"I don't know, but she has a Holy Grail. I do not want to assume there's anything she can't do," Sita pointed out. "Everyone else is still on the Argo and going to the wrong place,"

"I can call Da Vinci! She can tell Nikki what's going on?" Era suggested, waving the arm that her Mystic Code's holographic communicator was attached to.

"Good idea, but that won't help us in the short term. We need somewhere to hide," Atalante reasoned.

"Well. There is one obvious option," the Indian archer pointed out.

"What?" her Greek counterpart questioned, then followed her gaze towards the temple that sheltered the entrance to the Labyrinth. "No. No. Are you insane? This is the Labyrinth of Daedalus. We will never find our way out again,"

"We don't need to. We have Asterios on our side, and it's his Labyrinth. He'll be able to get us out once Nikki and everyone on her team drive or lure away Drake and her Servants," Sita pointed out. "Besides, we have the advantage of modern technology. Era, Da Vinci? Your communicator has a camera built into it, doesn't it? Track our movements as we enter the Labyrinth.

"I'll try, but it's a structure from the Age of Gods," Da Vinci told her. "If the mana density in there gets too high, I might lose contact,"

"Do your best," Sita commanded. "They'll be here in minutes, are we doing this or do you have a better plan?"

Atalante considered this and grimaced. "No. I don't. Fine, let's go,"

With a serious nod and a chirped "Fou!" the Master, her two Servants and rescued pet vanished into the dark doorway that led to the underground maze below the island.

Chapter Text

Chapter 14: Not A Heist Movie?

"They're gone?!" Nikki exclaimed, staring at the Golden Hind and lackluster presence of normal human pirates watching it. "But where - how! Huh?! Da Vinci!"

"I just heard from Era. Drake and at least two other Servants are encroaching on the campsite," Da Vinci reported. "You're in the wrong place,"

"Damnit! They must have gone onto the island, looking for us! And . ." Nikki paled. "That means they're going to find Era and the Archers. Jason! Turn this boat around! We need to catch up to them!"

"Are you certain we should do that?" the blond asked, a serious look in his eyes.

"You had better not be suggesting that we abandon -"

"No! No, of course not. Master, you're right that we need to find them, but it occurs to me that we have an opportunity here. Their ship is wide open. We can walk right onto it and steal the Grail," Jason interrupted.

Nikki stared at him for a moment, then nodded. "Damn, Jason, that's actually a really smart idea. We don't really have time to waste doing that, though, and they've probably left Servants guarding it,"

"There are no magic traces on the Golden Hind itself. After what happened in France with us somehow missing the Grail being right under our noses, I'm not certain how reliable these instruments are, but as far as I can tell there are no Servants and no Grail on that vessel," the holographic Da Vinci reported.

"Well we can at least take control of their ship!" the Argonauts' captain weighed in.

Nikki nodded thoughtfully, considering her options. "Jason, I would send you, but the Argo is yours so -"

"Actually, Master, since I made this Argo with our Grail, it's mine and I'm the one controlling it," Medea corrected her.

"Perfect! Astolfo, summon your Hippogriff. You and Jason fly over to the Golden Hind, take out anyone left on board. But don't capture it, we don't have the manpower to waste keeping control of it. Just sink it and be done, that way they'll be trapped. When it's going down, abandon ship and come catch up with us. Everyone else, we're going after Drake,"

"Roger! Otherworldly Phantom Horse: Hippogriff!" Astolfo declared, and Jason joined him on the mount's back.

"Oh, and Astolfo? You're just sinking the ship, make sure Jason doesn't waste time stealing stuff,"

"What? I would never!" Jason lied, aghast that he'd been seen through so easily.

"We can trawl the wreckage for valuables if we have time later. Era's counting on us, so go!" Understanding the urgency, Astolfo didn't wait for even a parting word before taking off in a flurry of feathers. Jason was nowhere near as polite, but his words were caught in the wind and blown away.

"Right, Medea -"

"Already on it, Master," the young witch assured her, driving the Argo towards the beach where they could already see footprints leading inland.

Several painful minutes passed before the Argo ran aground, and the Chaldeans leapt ashore once again. "Asterios, pick me and Euryale up again. Altria, take the lead, Taisui, with her. Casters, stay behind Asterios. Charlotte, keep out of sight and when we engage them, look for a chance to backstab. When we make contact, I want Altria to pick out and engage with their strongest fighter in melee, Asterios and Taisui draw the attention of the rest of them and everyone else supports those three as necessary. Medea, give Asclepius the Grail, and I want you to make yourself a target it possible. Everyone get going!"

X

"They went in here," Drake guessed with a savage grin, a hungry look in her eyes as she gazed at the entrance to the Labyrinth. "Come on, men and ladies! It's pissing me off that they refuse to stand and fight, but that just makes me want to see what they're protecting all the more! Let's go!"

Without hesitating, without even looking back, she plunged into the darkness, into the Labyrinth. Immediately - thanks to the Grail - her eyes adjusted to the gloom and she spotted a splash of red watching her from a side passage. "This way!" she yelled, spinning on her heels and giving pursuit.

Then an arrow hit her in the back, and she spun, seeing that Atalante had inched out from a passageway behind her and was nocking another arrow. "Leave. I won't warn you again," the huntress warned her.

"Oho? You stand and fight, while your friend runs? I know who's more likely to be worth my time. Mary, guard the entrance, Anne, you're with me, Berserker deal with the Archer!" Drake commanded, and her forces split up. Atalante fired again, but a massive, spiked morningstar crashed into the ground and she jumped back.

A pale woman with white hair advanced on her, swinging a morningstar larger than her own head in each hand. "Atalante, Hunter of the Calydonian Boar, if I don't miss my guess?"

"Penthesilea," Atalante replied. "Why is the Queen of the Amazons here, fighting alongside pirates?"

"Well, Drake used the Holy Grail to wish for 'someone worth a damn as a sparring partner', so she's technically my Master. Even if she doesn't act accordingly. Regardless, I don't have any real complaints about the current circumstances, and there is something to be said for letting loose, so," She smiled, brandishing one of her absurdly massive weapons. "Shall we?"

A strip of leather appeared in Atalante's hand. "This is an honourless fight. Your captain will not find the treasure she seeks, and you will win nothing by defeating me,"

"Perhaps. But I'd rather find that out for myself," As Penthesilea leapt into the air and brought to bear her maces, Atalante gripped the pelt of the boar she'd once hunted. "Boar of Divine Punishment: Agrius Metamorphosis!"

Two white Berserkers clashed, but one was fatigued and the other was fresh. The outcome was a foregone conclusion.

Meanwhile, Drake paced through the halls. "Stop running away from me! Stand and fight, you damn coward!" she hollered, emerging into a long stretch of hallway, the far end bearing a flaming red figure.

Then she ducked back around the corner as a salvo of flaming arrows flew at her. "Stop this!" Sita demanded, and Drake heard footsteps again.

"Oh, you're just making me want it more!" she cackled, leaping over the flames and charging, Anne in pursuit. "What are you so desperate to keep out of my hands? Something valuable? Something precious? Give it up!" She slid past another hasty arrow. "Everything in this ocean is mine to take!"

"Keep quiet, keep running," she heard her opponent say to someone else, and found herself once again at the opposite end of a corridor to her opponent.

"Plan to stand and fight this time?" Drake scoffed.

"You're not giving me a choice," Sita retorted. "Come and get me,"

"My pleasure!" And the pirate charged, guns appearing in her hands as she started firing.

"You're too arrogant. You fell for it," And suddenly there was a massive bow that Sita was pulling back the string on. "Peerless Bow of Reminiscence: Haradhanu Janaka," And she fired. The Noble Phantasm's projectile was massive, barrelling through the corridor with enough flame in its wake that the whole corridor was engulfed. Sita had chosen her position and timing perfectly. It was a devastating attack that Drake would find impossible to dodge.

And yet when the light cleared, Drake was flat on her back in the corner of the corridor, and already picking herself up, singed but not seriously harmed.

"What? How did you dodge that? That shouldn't be possible!" The blood had drained from Sita's face as she observed the outcome of her Noble Phantasm.

"I picked up a skill when I got my cup of endless adventure," Drake shrugged and patted her pocket. "Pioneer of the Stars. What is and isn't possible, thanks to that skill, they're really more like guidelines, you know? You can do absolutely anything if you just really put your mind to it,"

". . well, that's just not fair," Sita mumbled, but resumed firing. Ignoring the arrows that hit her, Drake returned fire with a scattershot blast from her revolvers that physically knocked Sita into the wall. Ignoring the downed Archer, she rushed past and along the route, following the footsteps until she saw . .

"What is this?" the Ruler questioned, taking in the scene. A petite preteen girl with bright orange hair was cowering in the corner of the dead end that she'd been trapped in, while a small, fluffy white squirrel of some kind crouched in front of her and growled like a like a particularly small and pathetic-looking attack dog "Wait . . a kid?"

"S-Sita!" Era shrieked, clutching her tattoos. "I order you by my Command Spell, come and protect me!"

On cue, a flash of golden light heralded the Archer quite literally teleporting between Drake and the child, looking rejuvenated by the Command Seal's energy and ready to protect her Master or die trying. "I will never let you hurt her," Sita growled, shifting her aim so that the arrow in her hands was aimed at the pirate's jugular.

"Fou!" the squirrel barked in agreement. "Fou kyu!"

"Please shoot to wound! We can't kill Francis Drake! History needs her!" Dr. Roman reminded them from Era's communicator.

"All of this running and hiding . . you've not been protecting a treasure. It was all for her sake?" Drake frowned as Anne, somewhat belatedly, caught up and took position behind her. ". . . s#!+. I'm the monster here, am I not?"

"Language. There are children present," It was an absurd statement to make, but it had the desired effect; Drake flinched and took a step back.

"This . . this was not what I wanted. A glorious fight, the precious treasure of the Greeks, stuff like that. Not . . becoming some little girl's personal boogeyman . . Look, I . ." Drake looked away. "I'll just . . leave. We'll just leave. Let's go, Anne,"

The second pirate breathed a small sigh of relief and cast the Chaldeans an apologetic look, before following her captain back the way they'd come.

Sita regarded them as they left, somewhat bemused, but as their footsteps receded, she breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh . . oh, Vishnu. I thought that we were surely about to -" her eyes met Era's, which were still wide with fear, and she changed what she was saying mid-sentence. "- be completely fine. Let's just stay here a little longer until we're sure they're gone, though?"

"Fou kyu!" Fou snarled in Drake's direction, and promptly got slapped on the back.

"I don't care how cute you are, mister, watch your language," Sita admonished the critter.

X

"Lady Drake?" Penthesilea tilted her head in confusion as the group rejoined in the main hall, dragging Atalante's unconscious body behind her. "I'm surprised to see you return empty-handed,"

"Bah, this whole thing wasn't what I thought it would be," the pirate sighed. "Come on, let's get out of here. Probably shouldn't have fought that woman, either. They had a camp outside, didn't they? The least we can do is make her comfortable for when she wakes up,"

So the pirates made their way outside, carrying Atalante with them, and walked the few feet back to the camp, where Penthesilea dumped the catgirl into a bedroll. "How's this?"

"We could probably make her a little more comfortable," Anne hummed, leaning over and bundling up one of the other bedrolls as an impromptu pillow.

It was as they stood up that the former complement of the Argo emerged from the treeline, and Drake was halfway through saying "Mm, yes, this looks fine, let's get back to the ship," when a sword beam struck her side on and sent her flying, scattering the human complement of her crew like dominoes.

"Remember the plan!" Nikki commanded, Altria charging ahead. Anne, Mary and Penthesilea moved to intercept, but a moment too late they realised that Altria wasn't actually going after Drake, instead pressing an offensive against Penthesilea.

"Medea, give Asclepius the Grail!" Nikki commanded, having slid from Asterios' back and staying in the rear to command her Servants, taking magecraft potshots at any human pirate who looked like they might try to intervene.

"What? Why?" the younger Caster demanded.

"Because I want Taisui, Charlotte and Asclepius going after Drake! Plan D!" Nikki commanded.

"Master has spoken," Asclepius chastised her, and Medea scowled but reluctantly relinquished the cup, and the three Servants named peeled away to chase after the eight-foot-tall pirate.

Sword met morningstar as Altria and Penthesilea clashed, but the chains wrapped around Excalibur and caught fast. "Hah. This'll be interesting," Altria grinned, mana erupting in a corona around her as she triggered her Mana Burst and kicked the Amazon in the gut, knocking her back and letting her pull the entwined weapons out of her hands. She flicked the sword and sent the mace flying several feet away, then brought it forwards for a stab straight into the gut.

Anne and Mary were about to help, but rapidly found their attention occupied by a giant minotaur bringing an axe down on each of them. They scrambled apart, and Mary slashed at his legs. Anne, bringing up her flintlock pistols, was about to fire when an arrow from Euryale's bow caught her arm and made her flinch, sending the shot wide. Crippling blows from Asterios' axes chased Mary as she darted around his legs, while Euryale kept Anne's attention and prevented her from bringing firepower to bear against the Berserker.

The opposing Berserker bellowed as Altria's blade found her kidney, but took advantage, bringing a morningstar up and slamming it into the side of Altria's face. She staggered, and Penthesilea capitalised, ripping Excalibur out of her flesh and continuing to swing at Altria's head. The King of Knights recovered quickly enough to duck, taking a swing at the queen's legs but sliding backwards to avoid the second morningstar as it span towards her. "Damn. You're a real pain in the ass,"

"From you, I'll consider that a compliment,"

Meanwhile, Drake was waylaid by Taisui. "You have something that we need," the Alter Ego, currently in adult form, demanded.

"Hmph. You want this, right?" Drake questioned, pulling out a golden cup from her pocket.

Taisui and Asclepius, the two Servants chasing her, paused as she used it to wave at them. "Yes. That's our objective," Asclepius confirmed.

"Even though you've already got one of your own?" the pirate huffed, gesturing at the cup in the healer's hands.

"Actually, ours has . . been damaged, in summary. It's inferior to the one you have and can't be used for our purposes. That said, either of them will work fine for your little adventures," Asclepius clarified. "If you'd agree to a trade, I think that would work out quite nicely for everyone,"

"Sorry, bud, afraid I can't do that," Drake shook her head. "See, what I really want is a good, fun fight. I've been looking forward to a tussle with the Argonauts for days, and I'm finally getting my chance," She paused, eyeing Taisui. "Wait, are you an Argonaut? You don't look Greek,"

The Alter Ego considered this. "Only an honorary one,"

"Good enough for me!" Drake's pistols whipped out, and she started firing at Taisui, who deflected the bullets with flares of green energy as he advanced. The pirate danced sideways, continuing to fire, and a couple of stray shots slipped through his guard and embedded themselves in Taisui's flesh.

The divine spirit grimaced, but a massive metal serpent danced between him and Drake, blowing healing magic across him and healing his wounds over even as it blocked her next volley.

"I shan't let a patient die on my watch," Asclepius snapped, directing his familiar, and Drake cast him an irritated look.

"Fine. I guess I'll just -" Drake was cut off by a loud, wordless bellow from the other battle. As the three of them turned to look, in the interest of self-preservation Asclepius sidestepped to the far end of the clearing from Drake's Grail to keep out of the way of anyone moving between the two sites.

Roar of the War God was one of Penthesilea's Personal Skills. A Mad Enhancement to her Mad Enhancement, it was a skill that awakened her heritage as a child of Ares - and it was at its best when facing Greek heroes.

This was why, having activated it, she was trying very hard to break away from Altria and engage with Medea and Atalante, the former of which had dragged the unconscious latter away from the fight and was getting her back on her feet. After a long minute of clashing, Altria made the mistake of blocking as though she were fighting a swordsman, not a mace user, and the spiked ball swung past her guard and into the side of her head.

Wasting no time and bellowing with fury, Penthesilea charged past her and started beating bloody gashes into Asterios' back. The Minotaur cried out in pain, and Mary took the opportunity to slice his chest open in turn.

"Master, be ready to heal Asterios," Nikki wheeled and started to see Atalante was on her feet again, twin arrows nocked and aimed at the sky.

"I'll do you one better. Emergency Evade!" she cast, Mystic Code flaring purple, and Asterios jerked unconsciously, throwing himself out of the space between Penthesilea and Mary.

"Complaint Message On The Arrow: Phoebus Catastrophe!" Arrows launched into the air and a rain of green, blue and gold lasers rained down, both enemy Servants being squashed to the ground as hits rained down all over them.

Still bellowing with fury, Penthesilea forced herself to her feet, but jerked and coughed up blood.

Altria, ignoring the pinpricks of damage from Atalante's Noble Phantasm, had stabbed her straight through the chest. "Well fought. You really shouldn't turn your back on an enemy, though,"

Penthesilea looked down at her guts, feeling her Spirit Core breaking apart, and nodded. "Gah. I suppose, if it's to someone like you, I can handle losing. I want a rematch sometime though, so -"

There was a sudden shriek and Jason flew out of the sky and bowled them both over, sword swinging wildly as he knocked both women to the ground, and coming to rest against Penthesilea's neck. After a moment of regaining his bearings, he crowed. ". . Haha! Exactly what I wanted!"

"What? No! Not to you! I would rather let literally anyone kill me but you!" the Amazon shrieked.

"Too bad," Jason leered, and cut her throat, leaving her protests to die in her lungs.

Drake grimaced as she continued to clash with Taisui, seeing one of her allies collapse. She glanced behind her, grumbling, "I'd rather not do this, but - wait, where's my cup?" the Ruler suddenly snapped, staring at the space where she'd set down the Holy Grail.

In the forest nearby, just far enough away that Drake couldn't see or detect her, Charlotte Corday clutched the Grail to her chest and snuck away.

"We outnumber you by more than you think," Taisui promised as he renewed his offensive, Asclepius' floating metal snake defending and healing him.

"Yes," Drake snarled, drawing her cutlass. "I can see that I'm not going to win as long as I'm outnumbered. So!" She clutched her sword and visibly shrank from her eight-foot-tall stature as golden light was released from her body. "The Night of the Golden Hind and the Storm: Golden Wild Hunt!"

Above them, the heavens opened up and rain fell, as the area around her was replaced with a raging ocean. A replica of the Golden Hind erupted from the spray, Drake landing on the bow as four cannons erupted from purple portals floating in the air behind her. As if that wasn't enough, a spectral armada of ships appeared to either side, flanking her.

Taisui had just enough time to curse before Drake barked, "A king of storms, a swarm of ghosts! This is the beginning of the Wild Hunt!" and then everything was cannonballs and lasers. He ducked, he dodged, he took as few hits as possible, and for a few hellish seconds he could only pray that his endurance would win out against the Noble Phantasm that a living Francis Drake should not have been able to use, and probably only could through Grail magic.

As the light died, a choking rattle emerged behind him. He looked back, despite already knowing what he would find.

"Oh, what a bother," Asclepius groaned as his body began to dissolve into Spiritrons. "Give your Master this, and tell her I don't want to be sidelined for too long," he demanded, flicking something towards Taisui even as his arm disintegrated.

The pseudo-divinity caught it and looked down, finding that he'd caught a coin with what was visibly Asclepius' likeness on one side. It was immediately obvious that it was a catalyst. "You got it! See you next time!"

A smile tugged at the healer's lips, and he finished vanishing, the Holy Grail that he'd been holding falling from his grasp and rolling away.

It came to a halt at the feet of a certain pirate, who laughed triumphantly as she picked it up. "Yes! Bad luck! You may have slunk off with my Grail, but now I've got this one! This is mine now, and I won't let you have it back!" Drake crowed, brandishing the Holy Grail that Proper Human History said she was supposed to be the rightful owner of.

The young-looking Servant stepped back, and recognised an opportunity when he saw it. It was time to put his acting skills to the test. "Oh no. No, this is bad. Please don't use that thing on me,"

While he wouldn't be winning any awards, Drake apparently found it adequately convincing. She glanced at the other half of the battle, just in time to see Anne and Mary dissipating into mana, and grimaced, retreating. "This is not the way I wanted this to go," she growled. "This wasn't fun at all,"

"Taisui! Do you need help?" Chaldean and pirate glanced at Nikki, running over to help them, hands lighting up with combat Magecraft.

Drake cursed. "Fine! You win. But I'm keeping this!" With that, she turned and fled into the tree line.

Taisui merely watched her go as the rest of Chaldea caught up with them.

"What happened?" Nikki asked.

"It's horrible. Charlotte managed to steal Drake's Grail, but Drake killed Asclepius and now has possession of our Grail," Taisui recapped.

". . isn't that -"

"A really, really bad thing!" the Alter Ego nodded empathetically.

"Uh. Yeah. You'd better run, Drake! You'd better run to . . the other end of the world!" Nikki yelled at the retreating pirate, struck by sudden inspiration. "Because you just killed my Servant and if I ever get the chance, I will make you pay for it!" Nikki shouted after the retreating pirate, then glanced at Taisui and whispered; "Think that's good enough for correcting history?"

"Don't worry. As long as the broad strokes line up, it'll be fine. No one cares if Drake ends up needing to buy or build a new ship halfway through the journey. If anything, it only adds to her achievement," Taisui nonchalantly nodded.

"Right. Good," Nikki nodded, then released a sigh. "Pity about Asclepius, though,"

"Don't worry. He gave me this before he left," Taisui showed her the coin, before dropping it into her hand. "We'll just have to summon him back later,"

"Huh," the bluenette smiled and tucked it into one of the pockets of her Mystic Code. "So we do. Not bad, god of medicine,"

They rejoined the group, and found their allies gathered together with no sign of the enemies. ". . Really? We couldn't leave any of them alive to try for recruitment?" Nikki couldn't help but grumble.

"Eh, sorry Master. Berserkers gonna berserk," Altria shrugged.

"And it turned out Anne and Mary were the rare case of a shared Spirit Origin. They were functionally one Servant with two minds and bodies," Medea added. "As soon as one of them went down, the other just fizzled,"

The bluenette blinked in disbelief. ". . That's a thing? That's possible? That . . feels like cheating,"

"It does have its drawbacks," Atalante pointed out. "Now, shall we venture into the Labyrinth and retrieve my Master?"

Her former Master shook her head. "Really? You want me, of all people, to go into a maze? No, no, I don't feel like spending three days wandering around as the world itself contrives to keep me trapped. Asterios, it's your maze, you can be in and out in five minutes I'm sure. You go get them, the rest of us will wait here," Nikki commanded.

Asterios grunted and looked in Euryale's direction.

"Oh, don't worry, it'll be fine. We just defeated our enemies, after all. Go on," the diminutive gorgon assured him.

Asterios hummed, but nodded and stomped off in the direction of the Labyrinth.

There was a long moment of silence.

". . Hey, this is weird. We won, right?" Astolfo frowned.

"Well, yes," his Master confirmed. "Is something the matter?"

"I dunno. Something just . . doesn't feel right. Like there's still something posing a threat to us around here,"

Behind him, shadows fell across Medea's eyes as she smiled.

In hindsight, Jason wasn't sure what tipped him off. Maybe it was faint footsteps. Maybe it was seeing a smile of the sort he hadn't seen since he lost everything to his ex-wife's revenge on Medea's face.

But when there was a flash of light, less than a second later, and Hektor appeared in the middle of the group, spear raised and ready to decapitate their Master, he could see what would have happened next.

Nikki would be first to die. Her weak, human body would have no way of surviving a fatal blow; she'd be dead before she even realised it. Astolfo would go down next, reacting, confused, futile. Hektor would take a second to impale Atalante through the Spirit Core, and then Asterios would come roaring back. Hektor and Asterios would fight. Asterios would lose as soon as Hektor duped him into giving him an opening to use his Noble Phantasm. Charlotte would move to help, unable to anticipate Medea attacking and stunning her from behind, and she would pull the Grail from Charlotte's dead hands. In less than a minute, he and Euryale - the two weakest - would be the only Chaldeans left alive. Then Medea and Hektor, with the Grail at their disposal, would casually kill Euryale and could take their time with whatever protracted, torturous execution she'd been cooking up for him. (It was anyone's guess whether they'd take the time to find and kill Era and Sita or just leave them to wander the Labyrinth.)

He wasn't sure why, but the idea of Charlotte in particular being cut down by this betrayal galled him. Like it was something that had already happened, being re-enacted against his wishes.

"You feel it, don't you?" Jason started, hearing a voice in this frozen moment. His eyes darted around before locking on a figure that hadn't been there before - wasn't there now; an illusion of . . himself? "Memory's a funny thing for us Servants. Don't worry about it," the ghost of some other version of himself told him. "Point is, I couldn't save her. Couldn't save any of my Neo-Argonauts," He pursed his lips, then cracked a crooked smile that Jason recognised as his own. "Think you can do better?"

Faintly, Jason nodded, his jaw setting, and spoke. "The Dazzling Ship That Splits The Heavens: Astrapste Argo,"

Hektor barely had time to whirl around and react to the presence of a new threat before, with a wordless roar, Heracles - of all people - appeared out of literally nowhere, club in hand, slapped him straight to the edge of the clearing and then leapt after him to start beating him into the ground.

Nikki spluttered incoherently, taken off-guard, but Jason was reacting on his own, tackling Medea and stabbing her through the guts. "What is this? Why are you betraying us?" he demanded, skewering her to the ground and searching her face for answers.

Medea scowled and weakly lifted her hands. She inhaled, but Jason saw where this was going. "Don't even think about using your Noble Phantasm to heal yourself. It won't remove my sword from your guts, and I'm keeping it right there until you give me some answers,"

Meanwhile, Hektor was scrambling, trying to retaliate against Heracles, but Taisui was reacting and pinning him in with blasts of divine energy. Even with his durability, it was a losing battle, and already bruises and cuts were opening up on his exposed skin. It was only a matter of time until he was defeated.

"Oh, Jason. You're still underestimating me, even now," Medea simpered. "That's always what I hated most about you. All Wounds Must Be Healed: Pain Breaker!"

Shining light played around her wound, and it healed as best it could around the blade, but Jason twisted his sword and it immediately split right open again. He huffed in her face, but stilled, seeing her smile. A second too late, he glanced back at Hektor, realising that her healing had been mostly directed at him. She struggled in his grip, but he quickly refocused on keeping his ex-wife pinned as she yelled, "Hektor! I order you by my Command Spell, take Euryale and complete the plan! By my final Command Spell, I order the Argo that I created to respond to your wishes and let you sail it all on your own!"

"You can't do that," Jason whispered. His first instinct was to abandon Medea and help his allies stop Hektor, but a second later he realised that would just give Medea an opportunity to escape.

"My entire legend has proven that there's nothing I can't do if it makes you suffer. Jason. My most horrible of husbands," she retorted, voice dripping with gleeful, hateful venom.

Hektor's eyes lit up with power and he took off, dancing around Taisui as his weapons dissolved into golden light, freeing his hands up to hoist Euryale by the waist and take advantage of his boosted parameters to rush into the forest, already circling to make for the Argo.

"What is - um - Astolfo! By the power of my Command Spell! Head him off at the ship!" Nikki shrieked, red light streaming into her own Servant in turn.

"Otherworldly Phantom Horse: Hippogriff!" The flying creature shrieked, taking off before Astolfo was even fully mounted, swooping low over the treetops and heading back in the direction of the Argo.

It was at this point that Asterios bellowed "EURYALE!" and charged after the vanishing Lancer.

"Everyone! After them!" Nikki commanded, and the Chaldeans all took off in pursuit.

"What about Era and Sita?" Jason questioned.

"They'll be fine, we don't have time to go back for them. Keep going!"

Unfortunately, a few minutes later they emerged onto the beach and found Astolfo lying dazed on the sand. Asterios was in the water, and following his direction they could see that he was swimming towards the receding form of the Argo.

Worse, despite his strength translating to a powerful breaststroke, they could tell that Asterios wasn't fast enough to keep pace with whatever Medea had done to the Argo.

"Damnit! We were doing so well - why did this happen?" Nikki fumed.

"Who knows. Still, we need to go after them," Atalante frowned.

"Don't look at me," Astolfo sat up and groaned. "Hektor hit me with his Noble Phantasm to take me out of the sky. I could have tanked it, but he was already gearing up for a second shot somehow so I took a dive. He would have killed me otherwise,"

"But how could he recharge his Noble Phantasm that quickly?" their Master questioned in disbelief, then groaned. "Doesn't matter. So you can't catch up to him or he'll shoot you down?"

"That's right, which really sucks,"

"Shit. And they just took the only boat on the island," Nikki grumbled. She hummed. "Do we even need to go after them? We have the Grail, Drake has her Grail, we've all but resolved the Singularity,"

"Sorry to tell you, but that's not true. The Singularity is starting to collapse, but TRISMEGISTUS is still detecting fluctuations," Dr. Roman broadcast over the radio. "Whatever Hektor's planning, it still poses a threat to Proper Human History. We can't just let this go,"

"Don't worry," Jason assured the rest of Chaldea, "I've got a plan,"

Nikki stared at him for a moment. ". . Well, now I'm even more worried!"

Chapter Text

Chapter 15: Okeanos, Complete!

"Alright, golden fleecer. What's this great plan of yours?" Nikki demanded. "Also, did Hercules vanish? I don't see him anymore,"

"He's part of my Noble Phantasm, but I am not strong enough to keep him manifested for more than a minute or two. Now, follow me, all of you!" Jason started running, towards the elevated bluff at the edge of the bay, the same one they'd spied on Drake from.

"Where are we going? You remember that Hektor is headed out to sea, don't you?" Nikki continued to demand.

"Yes, I know. That's why I took the liberty of hiding this!" Jason flung himself off the edge of the cliff and into the bay below.

Except he landed on the deck of a familiar ship, and everyone boggled at the sight of the Golden Hind, hidden just well enough as to be invisible from where the Argo had been moored.

"What? Drake's boat? But I told you to sink it! How - why?" Nikki spluttered.

Earlier…

Once they had finished mopping up the pirates of the Golden Hind, Jason turned to Astolfo. "We can't sink this ship,"

"What? But, Master said -"

"For someone who's so obsessed with planning for everything, our Master's not very perceptive. Remember when Poseidon killed Hektor and Roberts? Hektor should have survived that, or at least been able to escape. He's almost as durable as Asterios and has the Disengage skill. I'm certain that he took a dive and let us all think he was dead," the Argonaut explained.

"What? But - we'd have seen him afterwards if he'd survived that," Astolfo pointed out.

"Not if his Master used a Command Spell to teleport him to her location," Jason retorted.

"What does that mean? Nikki was with me the whole time, she's his - unless she isn't?" Astolfo frowned, confused.

"I think it's Medea. When we were summoned, it was me, Atalante, Heracles and Asclepius all together, Medea and Hektor joined us a bit later. Worse, she's the only one on this island who was out of sight when Hektor 'died'. And, yesterday, she said she was struggling to get the Grail to work. All of us killed Poseidon as a group, we should all be recognised as the Grail's new masters, unless someone among our number doesn't consider themselves part of our group. I'm certain that Medea could have faked making a contract with Master, she's a good enough spellcaster to fool an amateur like her. Also, well, far be it from me to stereotype but she is called the Witch of Betrayal,"

"Can a Servant even be another Servant's Master?"

"If anyone could figure out how to cheat the rules like that, it'd be Medea. I think someone else is pulling her strings though - if it was just her and Hektor, she'd have had him stab me in my sleep last night. Possibly all of us. The fact that we're all still alive and helping her tells me that she has some kind of scheme in mind, something bigger than just revenge against me - and since she wouldn't care about anything other than that, someone's forcing her,"

"Uh, right . . but why does that mean we shouldn't sink this ship?"

"Because if we destroy the Golden Hind, then the only ship left on this island is the new Argo that Medea made and controls. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but if I'm right we're going to need a backup boat,"

"I guess that makes sense . . so, what do you want to do then?"

"Fly me up to the masts of the ship," Jason snatched up a couple of spare cutlasses from the pirates they'd defeated. "I'm going to move this ship around that bluff so that people won't be able to see it from here. After that, we go help the rest of Chaldea. Hopefully I'm wrong and we can clean this all up nice and easy,"

X

"And I was right!" Jason crowed.

Astolfo giggled, while several incredulous glances were exchanged among the Chaldeans and Argonauts.

"It would appear we ought not look a gift horse in the mouth," Atalante pointed out.

"Okay, fine, this is happening. Charlotte, stay here, stay hidden and hold onto the Grail. Reunite with Era if you can," she commanded, and the maid Assassin nodded and bustled away, still holding the magical cup. "Everyone else, get on board! We sail after that traitorous Lancer!" Nikki commanded, leaping after Jason.

She landed with a splash, briefly vanishing into the sea foam before surfacing with a grimace, mumbling; ". . . I knew that my streak of 'getting where I want to go' was going too well . ."

Once Astolfo had fished her out of the water and everyone had boarded, the ship set sail.

Slowly.

"We're not going to catch up at this rate!" Nikki complained, standing at the stern of the ship and keeping her gaze fixed on the Island of Minos. The Argo had already caught the wind and was increasing its lead, while the Golden Hind was still too close to the island to enjoy the strongest breezes.

"Master? Might I point out that we have another option?" Taisui suggested, pointing over the side of the boat.

Nikki followed his gaze and saw Asterios still relentlessly swimming after their quarry, slowly enough that in a few minutes the Golden Hind would overtake him.

"What, you want him to propel the ship? He's even slower than we are,"

"He wouldn't be if you used a Command Spell,"

Nikki blinked and looked down at her hand. Two faded shapes were visible there, along with a single remaining streak of red. "But . . this is my last Command Spell. If I use it, won't that mean I stop being Master for all of you?"

"Well, technically it means you don't have any way to control us. We could betray you if we wanted to and you wouldn't be able to stop us," Astolfo corrected her.

"The Command Seals are a failsafe. Think of them as nails holding our connections to you in place. Without them, we could sever that bond. If we wanted to," Jason clarified with a nod, from where he was standing at the Golden Hind's tiller.

"Zactly. Mind, it's a bit different for me. You did make me swear loyalty. I could probably put Excalibur through your head if I didn't mind giving up my own life, but fat chance of that," Altria laconically added.

"So I suppose it comes down to whether or not you trust us not to run off and abandon you the moment you open the door to the cage," Taisui concluded.

Nikki regarded the four of them. She bit her lip. She knew what any magus worth their salt would do in a situation like this; never give up control, never trust anyone, because everyone was willing to betray you and no one cared if you died.

But she had a feeling that this wasn't how the Servants - the people - in front of her felt.

So she nodded to herself and raised her hand, placing a finger on the final stripe of red - then she paused, and a smile crossed her face. "Wait. If I'm allowed to use this, then never mind all that! Euryale! By the power of my Command Spell, I order you to return to my side!"

A moment of silence greeted these words, until there were twin flashes of light from the distant Argo and the space right next to her. Euryale hit the ground in a heap, blinking as she reoriented herself and looking around at the rest of Chaldea's forces. ". . Well, why the hell didn't you do that half an hour ago?!"

"Wasn't aware that I could," the Master shrugged as Charlotte bustled over to help her up. "Now then," Nikki was about to continue, but Jason approached her, stepping neatly into her personal space and gripping her shoulder.

"Now that that's out of the way, there's something I think we need to clear up," the Saber growled a bit.

Nikki flinched, stepping backwards. "You - you actually are? But - but you said!"

Astolfo and Atalante, in sync, frowned and stepped forwards, but Taisui held them back. "Give them a minute. She needs this,"

Jason held her gaze for a moment, drawing himself up and looking slightly down at her. "Stop needing me to be competent," he finally commanded.

". . Huh?"

"You are the Master here. You make plans? Good. You're not observant enough to make accurate plans, and you're bad at improvising. You should have seen the warning signs that Medea was going to betray us. That she and Hektor were faking their contract with you. And when it happened, you were caught flat footed. The best you could do was send Astolfo and order him to stop Hektor, when you should have told him to scuttle the Argo. You did well against Poseidon, but you let your guard down after, and I had to step up. You need to do better. Got that?"

"Um. Yes. Got it,"

"Good," Jason stepped back, no longer invading her personal space, and nodded, a smile tugging at his lips. "Happy to be here, Master,"

For a minute, Nikki squinted at him, then huffed. "Right! Euryale, go wave down Asterios, let him know he can stop trying to swim faster than a speeding longboat. Da Vinci? Are you there?"

As Euryale picked herself up and ran to the side of the ship to wave down her bodyguard, Da Vinci's hologram flickered to life on her wrist. "Present! I hear things are going well?"

"Seems that way. We've got the Grail and we've got Euryale back. Are we ready to Rayshift, or do we still need to kill Hektor?"

"About that, I have good news and bad news. The good news is, the temporal fluctuations are stabilising. The Singularity is resolved. On the other hand, the bad news is that your Servants don't have the whole story of what your Command Seals do for you. They also anchor your connection to them for the Rayshift. Which means we could Rayshift you out of there right now, but if we did it'd mean leaving all your Servants behind,"

"Oh. Well that's just great," Nikki grumbled. "So, what, I just screwed us all over?"

"No, no, it'll be fine. I'm going to divert Chaldea's magic power generators towards refreshing one of your Seals. We just have to wait until it refreshes. According to my calculations, it'll take approximately . . twenty-four hours. So you'll just have to wait until tomorrow is all,"

The boat suddenly lurched as Asterios hoisted himself onto the deck, leaving a puddle where he emerged, and promptly hugged Euryale. As the Gorgon complained about her clothes being soaked, Nikki breathed a sigh of relief. "So we just have to spend a night on Francis Drake's outrageously luxurious boat, huh? Well, no one said saving the world would be easy, but I guess sometimes it really is," Nikki chuckled a bit. "If that's the case, we should probably turn around and reunite with Era. Jason, set a course back towards Minos,"

"Uh, Master? We've still got one problem left to deal with," Astolfo pointed out.

"What's that?" In response, Astolfo pointed in the direction of the Argo, which was rapidly turning around and reversing the chase, and even as Jason span the Golden Hind's tiller and sent the ship into a U-turn, the greater speed of the Greek longboat meant it was only a matter of time until Hektor caught up with them. ". . Shit," Nikki groaned. "Alright. Let's make a plan,"

X

The Argo pulled up alongside the Golden Hind, and Hektor surveyed the deck. There was no sign of any of the Servants on board, save for one; Asterios. It seemed that Chaldea had decided it wouldn't be possible to hide the massive, bulky Minotaur from view and had instead made him the obvious target.

Well, they hadn't considered that there was an even more obvious target. Hektor flung himself from the deck and landed on the other ship, in a position where he put the main mast between himself and Asterios. Then he swung his lance like a lumberjack and sheared straight through the log supporting the sails and kicked it for good measure, sending it toppling towards the Berserker.

Asterios made to target him, but the sails fell over his head and got caught on his horns, collapsing around him and trapping him.

"Sorry, big guy, I really am. But this old man's got a job to do, and can't have you getting in my way,"

"Yes, I'd been wondering about that. What exactly is your plan?" Emerging from the lower deck, Nikki, guarded by Taisui, demanded.

"You certainly have guts, coming out and facing me like this, Master," Hektor wryly observed.

She shrugged. "I felt like I needed to ask,"

"Unfortunately for you, this old man knows the value of information. Suffice to say, I don't particularly want to destroy the world, but a command's a command and I answer to another master before you,"

"Who?" Nikki demanded. "Lev Lainur?"

Hektor frowned slightly. "Fraid I don't know the name. That's enough chatting, though. You really shouldn't have made yourself such an obvious target. Ultimate Unbroken Spear: Durindana Pilum!" With a flash of his wrist, he cast his weapon, surging with energy from the butt like a rocket, straight at the Master, who took a step back and vanished.

After ripping a chunk out of the Golden Hind, the lance returned to Hektor's hand as he blinked in confusion at the space Nikki had occupied moments ago. ". . what?"

"That's our Master for you. She's very good at being somewhere other than where she wants to be," Taisui shrugged and popped back into child form, smiling savagely. "Mind, I want to be kicking your ass!"

In the galley of the ship, Nikki grumbled to herself. "I was really hoping he'd be dumb enough to give me some useful information," She took off towards the prow of the ship, making for the other side of the space where Asterios had been trapped. The plan would be much easier with him free.

Above decks, Taisui and Hektor were clashing. "Where are the rest of your friends?" Hektor demanded, bringing back his spear again. "Ultimate Unbroken Spear: Durindana Pilum!"

He lashed out with the Noble Phantasm once more, but suddenly a flying mount swooped past and dragged Taisui out of the way.

Astolfo cackled, his Hippogriff wheeling in midair, and dive-bombed Hektor, who watched him approach and snarled. "Ultimate Unbroken Spear: Durindana Pilum!"

Rocketing forwards, the missile-like spear went straight through the Hippogriff's chest and abruptly reversed its momentum, sending Rider and Alter Ego flying backwards. Taisui bailed and hit the deck in a roll, while Astolfo shrieked as he was sent flying into the ocean. "That's not faaaaaaaair!"

The spear returned to Hektor's hand, and he scoffed.

"Did you actually just activate your Noble Phantasm three times in a minute? How?" Taisui demanded, scowling.

Hektor shrugged. "My master offers many gifts. Not that you'll ever find out. Ultimate Unbroken Spear: Durindana Pilum!"

As his spear lit up with magic again, flames bursting out from its rear end, someone interrupted. "Yoo-hoo?"

Almost involuntarily, the Lancer turned and paused, seeing a vision of breathtaking beauty as Euryale sidled towards him. "What . . oh . ."

She affected a giggle. "Why don't you put the knives down and come play with me for a bit?"

Almost unconsciously, Hektor's grip slackened and his lance rocketed away, avoiding impaling Taisui only by a fluke of lost focus, and he took an involuntary step towards the goddess. "Euryale . . you . ."

Euryale smiled a mischievous and malevolent smile, simpering, "I'd like to introduce you to my friend,"

"Who's that?"

"Vortigern, Hammer of the Vile King. Reverse the rising sun! Sword of Promised Victory: Excalibur Morgan!" Altria slid into view and brought her sword down, a pillar of red light erupting from its length and striking Hektor in the chest. The sheer concussive impact blew him off his feet and sent him spiralling into the air, dazed from the blow.

Nikki and a sopping wet Atalante - who had been perched in the crow's nest of the Golden Hind and unceremoniously dumped into the water when their enemy felled the mast - paused in their efforts to free Asterios and watched him go. "So which plan are we up to now?"

"If he gets back onto the ship, we're still on plan C. If he can't get out of the water, plan K," Nikki responded with casual ease. "I haven't given up on plan A, though, so let's get the big guy free,"

In mid-air, the Lancer regained his senses, twisted his body and weapon, and scowled. "That isn't enough to defeat this old man! Ultimate Unbroken Spear: Durindana Pilum!" The rocket-like exhaust from his spear erupted once again, and he clung to it like a witch on a broomstick as it carried him back towards the ship.

Altria prepared to deflect, but once again Hektor had a different target.

He crashed into the stern of the ship and exploded, ripping the rear end of the Golden Hind to pieces with concussive explosions that sent splinters and chunks of driftwood in every direction.

The ship shook underneath everyone's feet, tilting backwards. Nikki promptly lost her balance and fell into the freed Asterios' hand, and Jason - who'd been hiding in the rear - landed next to Altria in a heap.

Hektor stood above the water, single-handedly facing down the forces of Chaldea as the ocean rose behind him. In the brief moment of silence as everyone waited for someone else to make the first move, the Golden Hind began to sink.

Nikki glanced down at the frothing waves and gritted her teeth. "I'm calling it, plans A through K are a bust. Asterios, plan L!"

As the Minotaur wound up for something, Hektor tilted his head. "Did you really come up with twelve different plans?"

In response, the Master cackled. "Bitch, I use the alphabet to make people think I only have twenty-six,"

Before the Trojan hero could call her bluff, Asterios bellowed, "Eternally Unchanging Labyrinth: Chaos Labyrinthos!" Blinding light enveloped the Chaldeans, and, were anyone present excluded from the effect, they would have seen everyone involved vanish from the sinking boat.

Back on Minos, Nikki stumbled but retained her balance as she appeared in the Labyrinth. "Right! Roll call, everyone!" She looked around and saw that only Asterios and Atalante were with her. "Not ideal,"

Asterios grabbed both of the women and carried them around two corners, where they found Jason, Altria, Taisui and Euryale. "Well, I had my doubts about this plan, but I can't deny that it worked out," Jason admitted. "Where's Hektor?"

"Sent him to other end. Master said," Asterios rumbled. "Astolfo too far away. Brought him close but not enough,"

"Got it. Still, good work," Nikki nodded. "Everyone, take a breath and get ready to re-engage. We're wearing him down,"

The Servants made various noises of affirmation, and Jason sidled over to his Master. "You do not have twenty-six plans or more," he scoffed.

"Well, not anymore. The first twelve didn't work, I'm down to only nineteen," she matter-of-factly retorted.

Quirking an eyebrow, he scanned his Master's face for signs of deception and found none. "Either you're being completely honest or you have a very good poker face. Either way, this is already an improvement. Good work on your part too, Master," In response she just grinned.

Following Asterios' lead, they wandered the Labyrinth in search of Hektor. "Close now," the Minotaur rumbled, then stopped.

A familiar voice screamed, followed by Hektor growling, "Archer, make a single wrong move and she dies,"

Icy panic surged through her veins as Nikki rounded the corner to see exactly what she'd feared; Hektor had come across Era and Sita, still looking for the exit to the Labyrinth, and taken the younger Master hostage. His lance had shrunk into a sword and was pressed against her neck, and he raised his eyebrows as the rest of Chaldea came into view.

The bluenette stifled an expletive. This was not part of the plan.

For a long, tense moment the standoff held. "That maid of yours still has the Grail, doesn't she? Order her with a Command Spell to bring it here, right now," the Lancer tersely commanded Era.

"B-b-but -" Era started, but was silenced when the blade shifted around her throat.

"This old man doesn't like to repeat himself, little girl," Hektor glowered, then sighed. "Honestly, for what it's worth I'm real sorry about all this. I'm not crazy about any of this stuff, but circumstances force my hand, y'now how it is? This old mean really would prefer there be no hard feelings about this, but if it gets the outcome I've been ordered to achieve, there's pretty much nothing I can't do,"

"If you hurt her I will rip the skin off your bones and turn you into a hat!" Atalante shrieked.

As she did, Nikki whispered, under her breath, "Plan E,"

Euryale stepped out from behind Asterios with an arrow nocked on her bow. "Goddess' G-: Eye of the Eu-"

"Don't think I'll fall for that," Hektor assured her. "My reflexes are good enough that in the time it takes your arrow to hit me, I'll cut her throat. Or is this little girl's life worth your victory?"

"It's okay! I'll be fine! Do it!" Era nodded.

"No! Everyone hold your fire!" Nikki spat, a moan of frustrated worry rising in her throat. ". . Era, do as he says. Use your Command Spell,"

Rather than acquiesce, she just pouted. "No thanks. I've got a better idea," the younger Master replied. "I'm really sorry about this, mister green knight. But my big sister always said that the only time when it's okay to hurt people is when they've tried to hurt you first. So I'm not sorry about this,"

Suddenly, Hektor spasmed. His grip went slack, and the lance fell out of his fingers and clattered to the ground. Era pushed herself free of the Lancer's grasp as he stumbled, his balance slipping.

And then, while he was vulnerable, Era pulled an ornate, Magecraft-enhanced knife out of her pocket and stabbed Hektor in the chest with it.

The Lancer promptly collapsed, clawing at the knife, but quickly realising the futility of it. "Right in the Spirit Core . . but how?"

"Well, you did make it sorta easy. You shouldn't have gotten close, dad wouldn't let me have a gun so people at range like that pirate lady earlier are really dangerous to me. But I can kill people if they get close enough for a knife! Oh, that reminds me, I do want this back," Era cheerfully informed him, reaching down to grab the knife sticking out of his chest and pulling it free. "Now, are you done, or do I have to stab you again?"

"No, no, hah. You . . really got me. This old man was totally fooled by that innocent kid act. Ahhh. Oh well. Good luck going forward, Chaldea . . you'll need it," With those final words choked out, Hektor collapsed, vanishing into Spiritrons.

"Thank you!" Era beamed, standing back up and turning to face the rest of Chaldea.

She paused, taking in the assortment of distressed and disturbed expressions on their faces. "Is something wrong?"

"I . . don't think anyone realised you were capable of . . all that," Nikki finally put forward.

Era just pouted. "You all keep telling me that I shouldn't do stuff that might be dangerous because I'm just a kid, but I think you all forgot that I'm a kid from a Magus family. Big sis is right, Atlas Institute people get no respect at all from the Clock Tower. Not fair," she whined.

". . I also want to know who gave you a knife?" Sita finally managed to ask.

"Oh! That was my big brother. He said it's really good at cutting wrists, but I've found it cuts pretty much anything!"

X

It wasn't long before everyone returned to the camp outside the Labyrinth, and Nikki was making her report to Director Olga-Marie.

". . I'm sorry, what? Era stabbed him?" she spluttered.

"I don't believe it either, and I was there. She also insists that we should have fired at her, and that the protective talismans her big sister gave her would have protected her," her subordinate added.

"That's, um," Olga-Marie groaned, rubbing her forehead. "Well. I suppose we should be happy that we have such a capable Master on our side . . right?"

Nikki sighed. "Sometimes I wonder about Magus society. Should an order that can turn out preteen girls capable of cheerfully murdering someone really continue to exist?"

"Don't pin this on maguses as a whole. I don't know much about the Sutsukis, but what I do know isn't good. Rumour has it her father had some kind of psychotic break when he was young and never fully recovered, and her mother was some kind of forbidden magecraft practitioner before she died. I can't even imagine how a child might turn out after being raised in that environment, nevermind three. If anything it's a wonder she's as stable as she is,"

Nikki cast a glance at the bedroll where Era was taking a nap. "I suppose all we can do is handle her with care. In every sense of the phrase,"

X

"Hey, big bro!" Era cheered as she wandered into what was quite obviously a Magus' laboratory, ignoring the assorted mechanisms, rituals and other magecraft paraphernalia and focusing on the teenager with hair a darker shade of brown than her own orange.

"Hello, Era," He barely looked up, but it was enough to get a glimpse of the bags under his eyes, hooked nose and double chin. He was hunched over his desk, with a pile of mystic-looking knives next to him.

"What're you working on?" she pressed, standing on tiptoes and peering over his shoulder.

"A magic dagger. I'm not going to explain the details, you wouldn't understand," he huffed, then mumbled under his breath, "or worse, you would,"

"That's a lot of daggers, though. What do you need so many of them for, Donner?"

Donner Sutsuki shot straight up and glared down at his sister through bloodshot eyes. After a moment, he replied, "I don't, dumbass. I only need the one. These are all failures, though. Something you have in common with them,"

"Oh, I've got something in common with them? Does that mean I can have one?" Era cheerfully asked.

"Huh? Sure, whatever," he retorted, dropping the topmost of the pile into her hands. Era narrowly avoided cutting herself as she caught it. "Why don't you do us all a favour and use it to cut open your wrists? It's really good at parting flesh, and don't you want to see the pretty blood inside your hand?"

Era thoughtfully regarded the knife in her hands. "No thanks, blood isn't very nice. How good is it at cutting other things?"

"Pretty damn amazing, which is not good enough. Now piss off, I'm never going to convince father that I should inherit his Crest with you bugging me while I work,"

"Oh. Okay. But I'm keeping this!" Era retorted as she left the room.

X

Atalante shot up, and a second later so did Sita.

They locked eyes over Era's sleeping form. "Did you have that dream too?"

"With our Master's older brother giving her a knife? Yes," Atalante confirmed.

They both looked down at Era. "I . . I can't believe it. Did her brother really tell her to commit suicide?"

Chapter Text

"Alright, now that we're all back together, it's time to go back over everything that we've achieved," Olga-Marie declared, standing before the three Masters, with Dr. Roman and Da Vinci joining them and the Servants in the audience. It was the early afternoon of the following day, and the Rayshift out of Okeanos and back to Chaldea had gone without a hitch.

"Firstly, Nikki, well done. Despite adverse circumstances, you pulled off a flawless victory. Successfully recovering a Holy Grail - one that's not functioning as a homunculus' heart and thus cannot be safely removed," She cast a look at Tyler, flanked as he was by Altered Jeanne and Kiyohime, none of whom looked apologetic at all, "means that we should now be able to summon Servants on our own again. Da Vinci has already begun modifying the FATE system to use the Holy Grail and function without Mash's shield as a catalyst,"

"In that case, here," Nikki pulled something out of her pocket. "Asclepius gave Taisui this for me as he died. When the summoning's working, we should be able to summon him back," she held up the Roman coin depicting Asclepius.

"Oh, well done. I'm sure it'll be helpful," Da Vinci nodded, gratefully accepting the catalyst.

"Really? Excellent, that brings the total of Servants recruited from Okeanos to six, rather than five! Which means she did twice as well as you, Tyler," the Director reiterated.

"I'm not apologising for not recruiting Jeanne or Shakespeare. You'd feel the same if you'd experienced his Noble Phantasm," Tyler growled.

"Well, whatever. Regardless of little slip-ups, you've all done very well and vastly exceeded my expectations. As we speak, the first two Singularities are collapsing, because those periods of history are being restored to how they should be. It's only a matter of time until they cease to exist entirely,"

"Does that mean we could still go back to them?" Nikki wondered.

"In theory, yes, but I can't see why anyone would want to," Dr. Roman nodded, and the eldest Master made a noise of understanding.

"Which leads us to the next order of business, the Third Singularity. Rome, in the year 64 AD. For the time being, we have codenamed it Septem," Olga-Marie continued. "Honestly, I would prefer to send the two of you and your Servants there immediately, but I've been informed that would be unwise and it would be better if you had time to recuperate in the meantime,"

"Wait, 'two'? Are you excluding me again?!" Era demanded.

"Era, after what happened with Drake in the Labyrinth, do you really want to go into another Singularity?" Dr. Roman addressed her, crouching a bit to look into her eyes.

". . It was scary, yeah. But that doesn't change what's happening. I can help, and I want to help, so I should help!" the young orangette defiantly demanded.

"Well, I'll give you points for enthusiasm," Olga-Marie admitted with a long-suffering expression, "but I'm still not sending a pre-teen to tussle with Roman Emperors unless we have no other choice. So for the time being, sending you in is still a last resort,"

Era pouted, slumping back into her seat, and Sita sympathetically patted her shoulder while Atalante breathed a quiet sigh of relief.

"Getting back to the point. I have calculated the correct balance of urgency regarding resolving this situation, weighed against the mental needs of you Masters, to determine our timeframe -"

"You pulled a number out of your ass, don't pretend to be a medical professional," Dr. Roman corrected her, unimpressed.

Olga-Marie presented him with her best death glare. "You have a week to rest and recuperate before we deploy to resolve the Septem Singularity. We'll have another briefing closer to the time, so for now, everyone gets some rest and relaxation. Dismissed!"

X

It wasn't long until the Masters were grouped around a table in the cafeteria, enjoying a late lunch and catching each other up on what had happened while they were apart.

"Wow, and I thought I'd had a weird couple of days. You recruited an artificial evil clone of Jeanne d'Arc?"

"Yeah, dealing with Gilles was weird. And then there were the tentacle monsters,"

"Yeah, glad I wasn't there for that. I do not want to end up on a hentai blooper reel or something,"

Tyler paused. "Hey, how does the prim and proper Magus student know what hentai is?"

A flush crossed the bluenette's cheeks. "E-everyone's got hobbies!"

"What's hentai?" Era piped up, and both of the Masters who were past the age of consent glanced at their preteen companion.

". . . So, you saw a real-live dragon! What was that like?"

Tyler's expression went dark and he slumped back in his chair. Nikki suddenly had the distinct impression that she'd picked an equally bad subject.

"It's always sad to lose a friend," Era sympathetically offered.

"I know. After all, I lose all of them," the boy mumbled.

". . Oh. Sorry,"

Without a word, he stood up and stepped away from the table.

"Oi, where are you going? We're not done!" Nikki called after him, and he paused.

". . right, right," he mumbled and sat back down.

"Okay, really. I know we never talked before the big explosion, but we're in this together now. It's the three of us, we need to be able to get along, and I don't think the Director's going to be okay with us ending up in separate Singularities again. We need to be able to get along, so, out with it. What's the problem?" the bluenette pressed.

"It doesn't matter. It won't affect our ability to work together,"

"I think it will. We've still got five Singularities to fight through, and I'd rather not have unresolved questions about my partner for that time,"

The boy's jaw clenched. "The problem is what comes after that time. You'll leave too. It's not like we're going to stay as friends afterwards. Stuff will come up, I'll have to leave, or you will, and then you'll just never talk to me again because you don't get anything out of thinking about me anymore,"

Nikki paused, taken aback, and Era filled the silence. "I won't stop talking to you! You're my friend!"

"Will you still feel that way in two years? Five? Ten?" Tyler retorted, the pain of loneliness contorting his face. "You won't. No one does. I'm just not someone who's worth remembering,"

"That attitude's going to get you nowhere," Nikki frowned. "You know, if everyone else is so eager to distance themselves from you, then maybe you're the problem. Did you consider that?"

"How could I have reached any other conclusion?" Resignation and defeat crossed his face as he sighed.

"Then -"

"Don't even start. I'm socially inept, I know that. And no matter what I do, it always ends the same way, with just another handful of painful memories. There's no point in trying for any other outcome,"

Nikki pursed her lips. "There's always a way to get what you want. If one plan doesn't work, make another. It doesn't matter if it takes a hundred times, or a thousand, it'll work eventually. Unless you give up before it does,"

Tyler returned her glare, unimpressed. "You must lead a really privileged life, if there's never been anything that's simply not possible,"

"Or maybe you just don't try hard enough," Nikki huffed, standing and turning to leave.

Tyler sighed to himself, standing again and leaving.

Era watched them go and slumped in her seat. "That wasn't good at all," she mumbled.

X

"So, what was all that about?" Altria asked, falling in step with Nikki as she left the cafeteria.

"He's supposed to be my partner and he's a god damn weak-willed quitter. 'Oh, boo hoo, making friends is hard so what's the point?' Ugh,"

"That wasn't what it sounded like he was saying to me," Altria pointed out.

"Close enough. What, are you saying you agree with him?"

"No, you're right and he's wrong, that's obvious. But what's also obvious, is that he's been hurt and you're rubbing salt in the wound,"

Nikki stopped as Altria's words registered. ". . . oh," she mumbled. "I . . could have handled that better, couldn't I?"

X

"How dare she?!" Kiyohime fumed. "I'll burn her to death!"

"No, don't. She doesn't deserve that . . she's pretty much right, after all,"

"Doesn't mean we have to admit it!" the dragon-girl growled, but sat back down and hoisted Tyler into her lap. Which didn't quite work, since he was taller than her, but the effort was there. "But still! It's not like you're alone anymore, you have me! And the other two, I guess,"

"Kiyo. You're Servants. I'll lose you too as soon as I leave Chaldea. Possibly as soon as the world's saved and this whole Grand Order thing is over,"

Kiyohime blinked and considered this. ". . Nope. I'm not going to stand for that! Not happening!"

"Well I don't want it either, but -"

"No buts! You are my Master and I love you, so I'm not going to let you get pulled away from me, no matter what!"

Tyler blinked, taking in the expression of absolute, unflinching determination etched into her face. "But . . What makes you so sure?"

"Because, you're my Master and I love you," Kiyohime repeated. "And I'm going to keep telling you that until you believe me! Now, let's -" She paused, registering the tight grip Tyler had taken around her while she talked, and inwardly melted with bliss. "Stay right here until you feel better, Master-sama. And then figure out a plan to make sure I can stay with you forever and ever,"

Tyler mumbled something appreciative, and the greenette started rubbing soothing circles into his back.

X

"Hey, Atalante, you're smart about talking to people and stuff, right?" Era mumbled, flopping onto the bed in the room that had been claimed by her greenette Servant.

"I could write entire books about everything I observed as the only woman on the Argo, yes," Atalante confirmed. "What's the trouble?"

"My friends are fighting and I don't know how to make them stop,"

"Ahhhh. I see. I'm that case, let me teach you about something called mediation,"

X

The next morning, in the control room, Da Vinci was just finishing checking over the equipment when she noticed some odd readings, that were rapidly spiking. "Hm, what do we have here? . . Oh. Oh, dear. What am I looking at? Some sort of spatial anomaly triggered by the breakdown of the Okeanos Singularity - oh, my,"

X

It was at this moment that Nikki, lost in thought and idly pacing the corridors in frustration, rounded a corner and blinked as sunlight fell across her face. "Eh? I'm sure I was indoors a minute ago . . and in Antarctica," she frowned, looking around at the grassy field that she suddenly found herself in.

"Nikki? Nikki, do you read me?" She frowned and pressed a button on her Mystic Code's communicator, and Da Vinci's face flickered into existence. "Oh, thank goodness. We've got a problem, it looks like Chaldea's been connected to a strange space, by some astronomical probability,"

"Is that why I'm outside? I thought I'd just gotten lost again,"

"Well, that's not wrong, per se. I'm still working on things from my end, but for the time being just be careful and hopefully I can bring you back soon,"

"Got it. I suppose I might as well enjoy the sunshine, then," A distant noise alerted her, and she paused, turning to see a woman being chased by some kind of . . mob of diminutive creatures?

The woman, who was dressed in red and black and wearing an oddly militaristic hat, started in surprise as she narrowly avoided bowling Nikki over. "Gah! Who're you? Where'd you come from?"

"I'm Nikki, Master of Chaldea. And you?"

"Why, I'm Oda Nobunaga, Demon King of the Sixth Heaven! But how'd you get here?"

"I got lost,"

". . that doesn't explain jack shit,"

"And yet here we are," Nikki dryly intoned. "So were you running for a reason?"

"Oh, right! Move!" Nobunaga shrieked and took off again, while Nikki looked at the mob that was approaching them. They appeared to consist entirely of two-foot-tall, cartoonish renditions of Nobunaga herself, each with only a single, entirely blank white eye, and were all chanting, "Nobu! Nobu! Nobu!" like some kind of war song.

". . Right. Yes. Let's run," Nikki agreed.

X

"So the trick about mediation is that no one likes to admit that they're wrong. It's ingrained as a sign of weakness, and people tend to be stubborn about the things they believe," Atalante began. "But they still need to have that realisation, and you can't just tell them. So how?"

Era screwed up her face and hummed thoughtfully. "Uh . ." After a long moment, she shrugged.

"Get them talking. Make them come to a conclusion on their own. Often part of the problem is that they haven't thought something through enough to understand the other person's perspective. You just have to nudge them towards an epiphany about the other person's point of view. The tricky part is doing it with both of the people who are having a disagreement. Maybe one of them is right and the other is wrong, but who's in the right isn't important. What's important is mutual understanding, because that's what trust is built on,"

"Ahhhhhhh okay. But how do I do that?"

"Well, you've got a couple of options. First, asking probing questions. Second, taking advantage of being cute. Never forget, being innocent and adorable is something that you can exploit,"

"Don't worry! I've been doing that my whole life!"

X

Meanwhile, Tyler and the woman who refused to be known as Jeanne d'Arc were once again in the medical rooms with Dr. Roman.

Ostensibly, they were here for a regularly scheduled checkup. In reality, Dr. Roman had been busy when they arrived and medicine had taken a back seat to the wonders of hololive streaming.

"Magi-Mari and Magi-Mona are the best! The absolute epitome of kawaii!"

As an anime enthusiast himself, Tyler understood the appeal. "Yeah, those are gorgeous designs. But how are they still streaming? I thought the outside world was incinerated?"

"That's the wonderful thing! They've been developed into AIs, so their adorable wisdom will live on forever entirely independent of human society! Watch!" Dr. Roman reached over to the keyboard, and typed in; 'Who's the cutest hololive girl?'

"Well, that's an easy one! It's me!" the pixelated Magi-Mari preened, striking a pose.

"Nuh-uh! It's obviously me!" The darker-coloured Magi-Mona retorted, swatting her on the back.

"Ow! Mona, you're so mean to me!"

"Well, duh, you deserve it, sycophant! I know I'm cute and I don't need people to tell me!"

"I'll admit it, that attitude does make her more likeable," Tyler nodded, pursing his lips.

For the briefest second, it looked as though a smile was tugging at Mona's lips in response to his statement, but it was probably just a trick of the light.

". . so this is what passes for culture in this era?" his Servant flatly asked, and rolled her eyes at the vigorous nods. "Tch. Fine, let me have a try," she insisted, physically pushing Dr. Roman aside and typing; 'What should you keep in mind when changing your name?'

"Hmm, that's a toughie," Mona squeaked in the customary high-pitched falsetto. "After all, you've gotta come up with something that tells people you're not the same as the old version of you that they already know, but if you go for something totally different it won't feel like it's yours,"

"Just make up whatever you like, and use it until no one thinks of anything but you when they say it!" Mari weighed in.

"Shush, you ditz," Mona hissed at her.

"You're so mean!" her partner whined again.

"Just think about the things you like, the things you care about. What's something you want to be, something you'd be happy to name yourself after? Answer that, and then just fiddle with the sound until you get something that's you," Mona finished.

The non-Jeanne leaned back in her chair and processed this. "That's . . legitimately great advice," she decided, quietly nodding to herself. "I'm starting to see the appeal," she admitted to the two otakus.

"I told you she was the best!" Dr. Roman triumphantly crowed.

"Still looks stupid as hell though,"

X

"So, in summary, a lot of weird stuff happened, I used a Command Spell to summon Altria to the Nobu-space, we fought a bunch of Shadow Servants, killed the evil version of Oda Nobunaga, grabbed a miniature Holy Grail, and got back in time for dinner. Also, ever since I got back this thing won't leave me alone,"

Nikki raised a leg over the table, and the cartoonish mini-Nobu clinging to her shin squealed, "Nobbu!"

"Oh, sorry, wrong leg," She raised her other leg, and Oda Nobunaga, also clinging to her leg, shrieked; "I am the Demon King of the Sixth Heaven and I will make you my Master if it kills me!"

"So that was my afternoon. How about you two?" she asked the pair of technicians she was sitting with.

Dustin and Meunière exchanged glances, and wordlessly stood up and went to find a different table.

Nikki watched them go and sighed. "Jeez, you become a Master and suddenly no one wants to talk to you, huh . ." She paused, a sudden realisation crossing her mind. "Wait. Is this the sort of thing Tyler was complaining about having problems with? Other people not being able to relate to you?"

She noticed Tyler taking a seat at a different table, and pointedly looked away. Even if he did have a point, she had her pride.

X

The days passed in relative relaxation, and on the night before they were due to set out for the Singularity in Rome, Era dragged Nikki over to Tyler's table. "You two need to talk to each other," she declared with all the authority she could muster.

For a long moment, they stared at each other.

"She's right. We should go over plans and strategies for the Singularity," Tyler suggested. "That's what you do, right?"

Recognising the clumsy ice breaking attempt, Nikki nodded. "Well, we don't have a lot of information, so we'll end up making most of our plans when we're there, but we know that the Singularity is occurring at almost exactly the same point in history as the Great Fire of Rome, in 64 AD. I doubt that's a coincidence,"

"That was the reign of Nero Claudius, right?"

"Yup. Not the worst of the Roman Emperors, but hardly the best,"

"Maybe he was just lonely?" Era interjected. Both of the other Masters glanced at her for a second.

"No, he was Emperor of Rome, everyone would have fallen over themselves to please him," Tyler dismissed the point at face value. "That said, if you're worried about all the stories of him being some kind of narcissistic sociopath, they were exaggerated a bunch. The early Christians really hated him, so they put a bunch of stuff in the Bible that made him out to be basically the Devil incarnate. And that'd be all kinds of scary if we were going to deal with a Servant version of Nero, he'd probably come out even worse than Vlad, but the living historical Nero will probably be pretty okay. If we get the chance, we should probably try to help him out,"

"What makes you say that?" the bluenette pressed.

"Look, these Singularities are all about changing the outcome of key events in history to destroy the timeline, right? The fact that this one's based around the Great Fire of Rome means the fail condition this time around is probably going to be letting the Roman Empire collapse ahead of schedule, and the Great Fire's a pretty good starting point for that. If I were trying to use a Holy Grail and Servants to destroy Rome, I'd summon a Servant who's some kind of great leader, as well as their entire army, and command them to conquer Rome when it's at its weakest from the fire. Nero's not going to just roll over and let Rome die on his watch, so he'll fight off the people trying to destroy Rome on principle, or at least out of self-preservation. Ergo, we'll be on the same side, ergo, we should join up with him,"

"Huh. That's actually a great point. I'm impressed," A smile tugged at her lips. "You actually know your stuff,"

"See? Making plans is a good thing!" Era chimed in again.

". . No one's denying that. But yeah, I did major in history," Tyler nodded empathetically.

Nikki paused. "You. Majored in history?"

"Well it's not like I got hired at Chaldea on account of my amazing talents as a Magus, is it?" he sarcastically retorted.

"Oi. I'll have you know that I'm a thoroughly mediocre Magus at best," his fellow retorted. "Which is not something I'm proud of but needs to be said all the same,"

"Please don't fight again," Era interrupted, and both Masters glanced at her, taking in the fact that she was pouting. Her lip was wobbling and her eyes screwed up, and as they watched she started sniffing.

"Don't worry, we're fine. Right?" Tyler assured her.

"She's faking," Nikki assured him, and Era lost the pout in favour of sticking her tongue out.

"I still don't want you two to start arguing again," the young orangette huffed.

". . Can we agree not to let our disagreements get in the way of the mission?" Tyler suggested.

"Deal," Nikki agreed. "I still think you're wrong though,"

"I know I am," the boy admitted, but Nikki wasn't settling for that.

"No, don't misunderstand. You're right, people are hard. You're wrong to stop trying, but we covered that. Where you don't realise you're wrong is about the two of us. We're in this together. The three of us are the ones who have to save the world. There's no one else, just us and the people helping us. Even if you're a horrible, worthless person who's not worth befriending, not that I believe that, we don't have a choice, we're stuck together. So I am going to be your friend for as long as the two of us are still alive. If only to prove you wrong!" she declared, pointing straight at him for emphasis.

Tyler blinked.

Then an undignified snort escaped his lips. "You know what? I can live with that,"

X

And so it was that, a couple of days later, Tyler and Nikki were preparing to strap themselves into the Coffins once again.

"So, I'll keep this brief. You know what you need to do, you know where you're going -"

"Actually I haven't been able to eliminate all of the variance from the program just yet," Da Vinci confessed, interrupting Director Olga-Marie. "We still can't do pinpoint Rayshifts,"

"'Italy, 64 AD' is good enough," the Director snapped. "You've done good work so far, and I'm proud of what you've accomplished, but we're a long way from being finished. We still don't know how many Singularities Lev has created or why, or even who else he's working with. We do know from what Hektor said that there's at least one other collaborator. So keep your eyes open for anachronisms, because anything that seems out of place could be a hint at the presence of another enemy, one who actually knows useful information. Besides that, your mission is unchanged. Recover the Holy Grail and recruit as many Servants as you can. And I do mean as many as are willing to join you. We are not in a situation where we can pass up help," she glared at Tyler.

"Understood, Director," he groused.

"Da Vinci, you had something to say?"

"Yes. Firstly, since I know you're going to ask," She sighed. "I have not been able to get FATE working with the Grails yet. I don't know why, and it's very frustrating. As it happens, we detected a fourth Singularity a couple of days ago. So we know that this isn't the last one, more's the pity. Once we had the data, I wrote it all down on physical paper and expunged it from the digital records, so the system has no idea that the Fourth Singularity exists. That way, we should be able to guarantee avoiding a mishap like what happened last time," she cast a meaningful look at Nikki, who grumbled wordlessly. "Just to be safe, I'm not going to tell you where the Fourth Singularity is, or when, until you get back. Now, unfortunately we have another problem. Namely, the number of Coffins we have available,"

Nikki looks back at her Servants, then at the Coffins. "I don't see a problem,"

"When we prepared this project, we had fifty-six Coffins manufactured. One for each of the forty-eight Masters, seven for the Servants we meant to summon, and one for Mash. Forty-five of them are currently in use as impromptu cryogenics pods, which means we currently have eleven available. As it happens, between the two of you you've contracted a total of eleven Servants,"

"Oi! I feel like you're forgetting me!" Everyone paused and glanced in the direction of Nobunaga, who for some reason was still around, flanking Astolfo, Altria, Taisui, Jason, Euryale and Asterios as Nikki's Servants. They made a much more impressive lineup than Lily, not-Jeanne, and Kiyohime

"Ah, yes, my apologies. Twelve. We don't have enough Coffins to Rayshift all of you into the Singularity, and even if we did we'd lock ourselves out of being able to send more backup to you as needed. Especially if we end up needing to send in Era again,"

"I'm going with my Master! No way anything else is happening!" Kiyohime immediately protested.

"That's fine. As I was about to say, I think you both need to select two of your Servants to accompany you at the beginning, and we can send more in as necessary. Sorry, but I think that'll give us the most flexibility, and we might need the leeway depending on what we find in Rome,"

"Kiyohime, because you'll throw a fit if I don't, I'm sure," Tyler immediately decided.

"Too right!" The Berserker gleefully pranced over to her Master's side.

"And . ." Tyler hesitated, casting a questioning look at Lily. Understanding his train of thought, she smiled and nodded, stepping back as he gestured at not-Jeanne. "Did you . ."

"I did. Joan d'Chaldea, Ruler-class Servant, ready to get this shit done, Master," the platinum blonde artificial Servant nodded with a smile, following Kiyohime and trying to ignore the way she subtly put herself between her and their Master.

Nikki nodded. "As for my picks," She glared at Jason, who was hiding behind Asterios. "Well, since you obviously don't want to come, I'd rather have someone who's willing -"

"Ooh! Me! Pick me! I only just got here and you haven't seen what I can do! C'mon! I wanna! Pick me!"

"Okay, fine, Oda Nobunaga. If only to shut you up," Nikki sighed as the Archer fist-pumped and strutted towards her. "As for my other pick," she hesitated, looking between Altria and Astolfo. "Altria's really tough, but Astolfo's mobility's been really helpful,"

"Ah, it's fine, take the king. This Singularity's mostly on land, yeah? Flying's not gonna be as helpful then. Don't sweat it, Master," Astolfo assured her.

"Alright. Altria, you're with us too," As she nodded and moved to join them, Nikki paused, considering her Servants' matching red and black colour schemes and evil looks. "I really hope chuunibyous were considered fashionable in Rome, because you two standing next to each other could win edge lord competitions,"

"I'll take that as a complement!" Nobunaga assured her with a wild grin.

Altria just smirked. "Maybe you should stop recruiting evil Servants, then,"

"Don't tempt me! I just might!" Nikki hotly retorted, lowering herself into a Coffin, and her Servants followed suit. "Are we ready?"

"Starting the Rayshift procedure. Da Vinci, Director, get up here and help me!" Dr. Roman requested from the command centre, and both women left the room.

"Unsummon Program, start. Spiritron Conversion, start," the machine droned as the Coffins sealed. "Rayshift starting in 3, 2, 1,"

Chapter Text

Tyler screamed as he fell to the ground - again, damnit - only for the top of a spear to catch his shirt, swing him around, and deposit him on the ground. Joan playfully smiled at him, and he nodded in gratitude.

"Master catch me!" It was at that moment that Kiyohime hit the ground in front of them in a heap, Tyler having been too slow to react.

"Crap! Sorry, Kiyo,"

"It's fine . . help me up?"

Joan shot her an unimpressed look, but Tyler still helped her to her feet, and she rewarded him by promptly clinging to his arm.

"Yo! Master! Where're you at?" Nobunaga, who'd appeared a few metres away, yelled at their general surroundings.

"I've got her! And we've got company!" Altria shrieked from the middle distance, and the rest of Chaldea rushed to help, passing through the trees and getting their first look at . .

"Do you also see the werewolves?" Tyler blinked as the Servants engaged with the human-like wolves.

"Yeah. They're a thing," Nikki confirmed, unimpressed, as Altria hacked one's head off.

". . This is really just normal for you, huh?" Tyler observed as Nobunaga started summoning floating guns and Kiyohime went to town with fire.

"Well, I knew that they existed. They're not really around in our time anymore,"

"Ah . . so, are they people? Because if they are we maybe shouldn't be . ."

"Batter up!" Altria cackled, smacking one with the flat of Excalibur and sending it flying onto the sharp end of Joan's flagpole. "Home run!" her lookalike yelled back, and both laughed.

". . doing that?"

"Nah, don't worry. They're more like evolved wolves than cursed humans. Developed enough to use weapons, but not smart enough to realise they shouldn't be attacking us. I suspect we're going to end up dealing with a lot of them, based on how much mana is in the air,"

"You can sense that sort of thing?"

"Well, of course," Nikki nodded, then paused for a second as an idea occurred to her. "Actually, say. What if I taught you some basic Magecraft? It could only help,"

In the background, the Servanfs finished slaughtering the werewolves, but Tyler wasn't paying attention anymore, instead focusing entirely on Nikki, eyes going as wide as dinner plates. "Magic. You're seriously offering to teach me magic. Yes. All of the yes. This is literally a dream come true,"

"First lesson, call it magecraft. Magicians and wizards are for pop culture and fantasy-fiction, we are Maguses, practitioners of magecraft. We should walk and talk, though. Da Vinci?" she called, turning on the communicator.

"Present! We're reading you loud and clear,"

"Where are we, and where are we going?"

"Yeah, I have bad news about that. You're near the town of Mediolanum, in the northern parts of Italy. Rome's quite a way away, and I'm not picking up any major magical signals in your vicinity. I recommend you make your way into town and try to gather information. Hopefully we'll pick up a few leads on what's been going on in this Singularity. Head west, it should only be half an hour or so's walking,"

"Well, I'm going to make a note about recruiting a Rider capable of summoning a vehicle large enough for the whole group," Nikki grumbled. "Come on, everyone, we're headed to Mediolanum,"

The Servants fell in behind their Masters, and Nikki turned to Tyler's eager eyes. "So, I'm going to assume you know nothing about Magecraft,"

"Pretty much,"

"Right. Magecraft, at its core, is about achieving normal outcomes using abnormal means. That is, it's artificially recreating Mystery, generating a completely ordinary outcome through a method that's miraculous and scientifically impossible. The key word there is recreation, we're replicating things that gods, Phantasmals and other inhuman creatures can do as true magic. The one big limitation of Magecraft is that everything we do as Maguses is recreating those things, so we can't create anything new,"

"Well . . that kind of sucks," Tyler winced.

"Oh, I know," the more experienced Magus grumbled. "Speaking of, I should also warn you not to get your hopes up. A Magus' potential is directly linked to how many generations of their Ancestors have practised Magecraft, through something called a Magic Crest. You've heard of magic circuits, right?"

"Yeah," he confirmed.

"The Crest is the most important part of a magus' circuits. They're artificially enhanced to act as a sort of thaumaturgical reserve of spells passed down through the family. Every Magus has a duty to add to and improve their family's Crest, and then pass it on to their chosen successor among their children,"

"So, I need to create a Crest of my own?"

"If you're serious about Magecraft, eventually yeah. But it's a process that takes years, decades even. The fact that you're able to be a Master means you have magic circuits, you just need to learn to use them. Start with the basics. Crests are advanced,"

"Hang on!" Both Masters paused at Kiyohime's interruption. "A-are you saying that Master can only have one child who inherits magic from him?"

"Uh, pretty much yeah. That's part of why I don't have any siblings, mum didn't want to have to choose which of her children would inherit her Crest. Also why Era's sort of screwed,"

"No! I wanna have lots of children with Master-sama!" the greenette whined, tackle-hugging Tyler and almost overbalancing him.

"Hey! Hey. Kiyo. We talked about this," Tyler whispered. "Let go, I can't walk and carry you,"

Kiyohime reluctantly released him, and he looked up into Nikki's questioning gaze. "Kiyo . . has needs,"

"Is one of those needs a pet name?" she asked, folding her arms.

"Yes!" the woman in question declared.

". . Right. Heh,"

"So what's this about Era?!" Blushing furiously and desperate to change the subject, Tyler pressed the point.

"Ah. She's the third child of her family. I don't know much about what's going on with her father, but the Director did mention that her father doesn't think she's a worthy successor to his Crest, and it'll probably go to her older sister. Mm, what was her name? I forget . ."

"So, they can't just duplicate the Crest? Impart it to multiple people?" Tyler frowned.

Nikki shot him a look. "You've got the wrong idea. The Crest isn't information, it's not a technique or a ritual or anything. It's literally a physical - well, look," She turned her back to him and pulled up the jacket and shirt of the Chaldea uniform, showing off a magic circle tattooed on her back. "This is my Crest. My mother literally removed it from her body and transplanted it into mine when I was young,"

"Ahhh. Yeah, I get it. That's . . yikes," Tyler nodded.

"Mm-hm," Nikki pulled her shirt back down and resumed walking. "Command Seals are actually very similar to Crests, as another example," she raised her right hand and showed off the red shapes on it. "Less integrated, though. Sort of like the difference between a temporary tattoo and a permanent one,"

Tyler nodded, considering this. "So, how do I start learning to consciously use my magic circuits?"

"You've used the spells built into your Mystic Code before, right?"

". . Uh,"

". . You have, haven't you?" Nikki pressed.

"I, uh, wasn't aware there was anything other than the First Aid one,"

The bluenette sighed. "Everyone starts somewhere, I guess. You've got three spells built into your outfit, First Aid, Emergency Evade and Instant Enhan0cement. They're designed to be used on your Servants, but with a bit of creativity you can use them on pretty much anything. Including yourself, but you'll feel backlash afterwards, fair warning. They take about ten minutes to recharge after being used. Start by practicing using them on Kiyohime and, Joan was it?"

"It is now," the Ruler confirmed.

"That'll give you a feel for what using Magecraft is like. The next step is replicating those spells without using the Mystic Code as a crutch. You start working on that, I'll call Da Vinci and ask her to create some more Mystic Codes that we can use as training aides when we get back to Chaldea,"

"Hai, sensei!" Tyler semi-seriously nodded, taking a few steps away while keeping pace and beckoning Kiyohime over. "Instant Enhancement!"

X

It wasn't long until they were trooping into Mediolanum, and found the town peaceful, but quiet. "Da Vinci?"

"She went to start her new project. For now it's me and Romani," Olga-Marie told her via hologram. "What's going on?"

"I just wanted to ask if there are any magic signatures in this town,"

"If I'm reading this reader thing right, no. Nothing. Plenty of locals, though. You can probably try to get some information out of them,"

"Agreed," she nodded, striding ahead of the group and immediately making for the only man on the street. "Ahem, excuse me? We're new in this region and don't know our way around, would you mind helping us out?"

The farmer drew to a halt, eyeing her for a second, then relaxing and nodding. "Oh, hello there, young lady . . uh . . may I ask what you are wearing? I've never seen its like in all my years,"

As he joined her, Tyler looked down and considered the Chaldea Uniform, then at the man's leather farming gear. "Huh. Our Mystic Codes are kind of conspicuous, aren't they?"

"Good," Nikki brusquely added. "That's exactly what a magus should be,"

"Really, though, we must look like we're wearing spacesuits to these people. Not to mention the Servants - Kiyo has horns,"

". . uh, those aren't just accessories?" the Roman man raised his eyebrows, instinctively taking a step back.

"Don't they have dragons around here?" the greenette in question scoffed.

"Dragon? You mean like that 'idol' I keep hearing about?"

Everyone paused and glanced at the villager. "Idol?" Nikki parroted.

"Oh, yes. Rumours are going around about some kind of woman who people say is like a dragon, but insists on being referred to as an 'idol' and is putting on some kind of event called a 'concert' to the south, in Florence. It's quite strange,"

"Wait. You're saying there's an idol, here in the Roman Empire?" Tyler pressed.

"Well, yes, that's what she's calling herself," the citizen nodded.

"Who cares? We're on a mission, we don't have time for little things like attending concerts," Nikki huffed.

"No - no. Think about it. We are in Ancient Rome. The term 'idol' wasn't in use until our time. This can only be something that shouldn't exist in this time period, and that means it's probably either a Servant or someone with ties to Lev," the younger Master pointed out.

Nikki considered this. ". . Oh. That's a good point. Well, alright, we should go and check it out,"

The man they were taking to eyed them in confusion. "I don't know what you're talking about, or where that strange style of dress you have on came from, and I want no part of it. But be warned, the roads between towns have gotten dangerous, lately, monsters crawling out of the darn woodwork. It's not a good time to travel,"

Nikki and Tyler glanced at their entourage of Servants. "Oh, I think we'll be fine," the bluenette assured him.

"Oh, very well, if you insist. You'll find this 'idol' in a town to the south. At least, that's what I've heard. I wish you the best of luck," he finished, waving them off.

"Well, we have our plot hook. Time to head to Florence?" the boy suggested.

"We're not in a video game, Tyler, it's not a plot hook,"

For some reason, Nobunaga stifled a guffaw at this and mumbled, "Well, she's not wrong!"

Ignoring her, Nikki continued. "But, it's a lead, which is more than we had ten minutes ago. Director, Dr. Roman? How far away is Florence?"

"Well, it should be pretty far, but this Singularity is sort of shrunk compared to the real Italy," Dr. Roman explained, fiddling with the device and bringing up a map on her communicator. "If you leave now and are fast about it, you can probably get there by nightfall,"

"Then there's no reason to delay, let's go!"

X

Sure enough, the sun had just vanished underneath the horizon when they finally reached Florence.

Distressingly, they found it was a ghost town.

As they made their way towards the centre of the settlement, Tyler couldn't help but wonder, "Where are all the people?"

"Everyone, we're detecting a magic signature," Dr. Roman warned them.

"It's probably a rogue Servant," Altria put forward, striding to the front of the group. "Nobu, watch my back. You two, cover me. Masters, stay in the middle. Let's see what we're dealing with," she commanded, and Nikki grumbled a bit but didn't deny that it was a good formation to take as they entered the main square at the centre of the town.

Once there, they paused, and stared in bafflement at the impromptu stage that had been erected at the far end of the square. It looked like it had been built as some kind of cheap imitation of a gothic castle, with wooden towers and battlements framing a central platform for performers. The architectural designs alone were of the sort that shouldn't have existed for another thousand years or so. Crude benches had been erected facing the stage, and the Chaldeans cautiously made their way through the makeshift concert venue in hopes of finding the architect of this scene.

"We have new guests in the house!" a voice shrieked in falsetto, and a spotlight appeared out of nowhere, shining down onto the stage. A burst of smoke erupted from the cracks in the wooden boards, and when it cleared a woman who was quite obviously a Servant appeared. Though no one could hazard a guess as to just what sort of legend had produced this creature.

At first glance, she was human, wearing a black skirt with dark pink hair flowing around her shoulders. But a twitching tail encrusted in black scales hung out of her skirt behind her legs, and mismatched magenta horns, one larger than the other and both flattened and twisted like ribbons made of ivory, protruded from her skull. In her hand was a sharpened metal pole with a microphone mounted on one end and a spear tip on the other. "Ladies and gentlemen! It's my pleasure to have you all here tonight!" she shrieked, shrill voice projecting around the square.

Joan glanced around in confusion, and confirmed that, yes, they were the only ones there. "Who are you?" she hollered in turn.

"Iiiiiiiiii," the presumable-Lancer trilled, pirouetting in place and striking a pose, "am the one and only smash hit pop idol sensation that's shaking the world of Servants! Coming at you live from right here in beautiful Rome, it's everyone's favourite, Elllllllllllllllllllizabeth . . Bathoryyyyyyyyyyyy!" For a long moment, she held her pose, as though she expected crowds of people to materialise out of nowhere and start cheering for her.

When reality disappointed, leaving only silence, her arms fell to her sides and she pouted. "Admittedly, my tour of Italy hasn't been going so great because people keep screaming and running away for some reason, but my fortune's gonna turn any day now, I just know it! And then the people of this Singers'-ularity will propel me to stardom! No more of that gross vampire stuff, it's gonna be all music, all the time!"

"So you're a rogue Servant?" Nikki checked.

"Yup! I sorta just showed up here one day. It was weird, no Master, no ingrained knowledge, no Grail War as far as I can tell either. But that just makes this the perfect chance for me to live out my dreams! Speaking of, are we ready to get started?"

"Actually, we need information! We're from Chaldea, and we've come here to fix this Singularity and restore the timeline. You're the first Servant we've seen, do you know what's happening in this version of Rome?"

Elizabeth shot a grumpy look at Nikki, upset about continuously being interrupted. Then a crafty gleam entered her eyes. "Tell you what. I'll tell you everything I know, after my concert. I don't know why, but every time I start performing, people run away! So how about you all be my audience, and I'll be your guide. Sounds like a good deal, doesn't it?"

Nikki frowned, but Nobunaga tapped her on the shoulder. "Hey, if all she wants is to sing, let her sing. Sometimes you just gotta get something off your chest, yeah? We're not in that much of a rush,"

The bluenette considered this, and sighed, taking a seat. "Okay, sure. Deal," Tyler joined her on the next bench across, Altria, Nobunaga and Joan settling in on the row behind them while Kiyohime pressed herself to Tyler's side.

Gleefully, Elizabeth struck a pose and inhaled, driving her spear-microphone into the ground and pulling it close to her lips. She started to sing.

And suddenly all that Nikki knew was pain. The world around her was unchanged, but the sound was so discordant, so harsh and jarring, so bereft of any of the qualities that she would normally associate with music that she couldn't help but stumble backwards and collapse to the ground behind the bench in an attempt to distance herself from the noise.

After an agonisingly long moment, Elizabeth stopped to draw breath, and the Master dared to think that it was over.

Then the caterwauling resumed as she launched into the second verse of what very few people could possibly consider a song.

Nikki tried. She really did. But her legs moved on their own, and before she knew it she was keeping pace with her Servants as they fled the discordant notes before the Lancer could deafen them.

Elizabeth paused in her recital, watching her audience flee, and she pouted. "Not again . . maybe I just - Eh?"

To her amazement, Tyler was still sitting in the audience. He frowned, and called, "Did something happen? Why did you stop?" Then he noticed that Kiyohime's arms were no longer around him. "Also, where'd everyone go?"

"They ran off when I started singing. Just like everyone else does," Elizabeth sniffed and sat down, legs dangling off the stage, and clutched her microphone to her chest. "Why does this keep happening to meeeee?!"

Socially awkward though he may have been, even Tyler knew not to ignore a girl who was crying. "Well, acapella's a really niche taste. Honestly, it's not really my thing either," he shrugged, moving to sit beside her on the edge of the stage.

"W-w-wait, what's 'acapella'?"

"It's what you were doing. Singing just with your own voice, no instrumentals or backup. It's really hard, basically no one does it anymore in my time. If you had a band, or even just someone who can use computers to make synth music, they'd do half the work for you. Everyone does it, in the twenty-first century anyway," Tyler paused, realising that as he spoke, Elizabeth's eyes had gone as wide as saucers and her nose was only an inch from his.

"That's what I've been doing wrong?" she breathed. "That's why no one wants to listen to me sing? I just need backup musicians?"

"I'm sure it'd help, at least," he offered after a moment.

And then she was suddenly hugging him. "Oh, thank you! Thank you thank you thank you so much! This is what I need to do! I . . I was beginning to think it was hopeless . ." Tyler tensed, but forced himself to relax as the strange sensation of a tail curling around him matched with the familiar sensation of a girl with horns resting her head on his shoulders. "You listened to me," Elizabeth almost sobbed. "I can't even tell you how much that means to me . . I just wanted one person to listen to me . . and not only that, you helped me too! Oh! Can you play an instrument? Or do that synth computer thing?"

Tyler processed this, and gently hugged her back. "Sorry, but no, I can't. I'm just a history student. And a Master, I guess. But . . I know what that's like," he murmured. "If you want, I'll always be happy to listen. Even if it's terrible. Fair warning, though, everyone tells me I have no taste in music,"

She let out a giggle at that, letting him go and staring into his eyes. "I'll hold you to that," the Lancer retorted. "Hehehe, say, you're a Master, right?"

"I am, yeah," Before Tyler could process the implications of that question, Elizabeth grabbed his hand, fingers touching his Command Seals, and reverentially whispered, "I swear to heed your will and reason. I'll be your keeper of the balance. I-if you'll have me, anyway,"

Before he could second-guess himself, the brown-haired Master nodded with a smile. "It'd be my pleasure,"

No sooner than the connection had been established, though, did Tyler find himself being bowled over by another dragoness, bawling uncontrollably and nuzzling into his chest. "I'm sorry, Master-sama, I didn't mean to leave you alone there! I tried to stay with you, I really did, but I just couldn't take it and my body just moved on its own! Please forgive me!"

"Hey. Hey! Kiyo. It's okay. I forgive you. You're alright," Tyler assured her.

Still choking back sobs, Kiyohime looked up at him and suddenly froze. "Wait. Master, did you -" She gasped and turned to glare at Elizabeth. "What did you do?"

The Lancer eyed them for a second, then a salacious smile crossed her face. "I made a contract, with my new producer," she declared, sliding over to claim his right arm as her own. "Isn't that right, puppy?"

A furious blush crossed the Master's face as he failed to process this. ". . Za?"

"Why, you home-wrecking frilled lizard! Stay away from my Master-sama!" Kiyohime snapped.

"Oh, big words from a whiny little horned toad," Elizabeth mockingly crooned. "Are you afraid that Master's going to throw you away now that he's found someone better?"

"Definitely not happening!" Tyler interjected. A sudden surge of strength erupted from his chest, and he gripped both of their shoulders, tight enough that even a Servant could feel it. "Ladies. I have a contract with both of you now. Please, try to get along? For my sake? I'm really not emotionally equipped to deal with you two fighting,"

Kiyohime glanced between both of them, and sighed. "Anything for Master-sama,"

Elizabeth reluctantly nodded. "Fine, fine, I'll give it a shot," she groused.

"Good," With that settled, Tyler hugged them both, pulling one of their heads over each shoulder.

This made it much too easy to miss the death glares that they were swapping behind his back.

As the rest of Chaldea made to rejoin them, Joan stopped mid-stride and, for a long moment, just stared at the two other women hugging her Master. Nikki and Altria kept moving, but Nobunaga noticed her expression, and the direction it was pointed in. "Let me guess, girlie, you've got it for him too?"

"Wha - no! Shut up!" the Ruler snapped. "I - just . . he saved me,"

"Yeahhh, seems like he's the kind of guy to do that. If you wanna get anywhere with him, you might want to make a move sooner than later, yeah?" Nobunaga advised her.

Joan fumed but didn't refute the point.

"Ahhhhh-hem," Tyler, Kiyohime and Elizabeth looked up to see Nikki rejoining them. "I take it I missed something?"

"I recruited a new Servant to Chaldea," Tyler faux-brightly informed her, with just a hint of smugness.

"I . . can see that. Well done," she replied, for want of anything better to say. "So does your offer to be our guide here in Rome still apply?"

Elizabeth huffed. "I'll be the guide for my puppy," she insisted, patting Tyler's shoulder. "If he wants to let you tag along too, I guess I'd be alright with that,"

"I'll take it," Nikki accepted. "Right! The sun's down and we've already done way too much walking today. There are plenty of empty houses around here, let's find somewhere cosy to sleep tonight. Bathory, you know the lay of the land, where do we need to set off for tomorrow?"

"Well, it really should be obvious that there's only one place to go in the Roman Singularity. If you want to get involved with the movers and shakers, they're all in Rome! Like, duh!" Elizabeth shrugged.

". . I can see why that would have been obvious," Nikki conceded. "Right. We'll spend the night here and set out at sunrise. Based on Dr. Roman's map, we should be able to reach Rome by the day after tomorrow. That'll have to be fast enough,"

X

That night, Tyler dreamed of blood.

He saw Elizabeth - a human Elizabeth, no less, lacking her draconic traits, which meant this must have been while she was still alive - drowning in blood and surrounded by corpses.

No, not drowning. Bathing.

"Mm. I feel so young, so invigorated," the Elizabeth in the dream spoke in a voice that didn't sound like his Elizabeth. "To think that all it took to regain my youth was the blood of a few maid -"

"No!" Tyler started as a cardboard sheet was dragged across his perspective, and he found himself in a white space outside the dream-reality he'd seen, with cardboard blocking his view of the grisly ritual of eternal youth. "That's not me!"

Suddenly his Elizabeth was there, with a box of colouring pencils, tail lashing in frustration as she scribbled childish drawings on the cardboard sheet covering her past. "I'm not that monster," she mumbled as her drawings took shape. "I'm not some heartless creature that everyone hates. I'm gonna be someone that everyone loves! An idol who bathes not in blood but in adulation and cheers!"

She stepped back just enough to let Tyler see her drawing; stick figures that recognisably represented Elizabeth on a stage, with fans around her, all cheering and screaming their love for her as she sang.

"That's the sort of person I want to be," she mumbled, clutching her pencils. "That's the sort of person I need to be. I-I-I can't waste this second chance I've been given, this opportunity to change my fate . . it's not hopeless, it can't be hopeless, it will work, it has to work, please let it work,"

As she begged, blood started dripping out of the real dream and down the cardboard, leaving stains on Elizabeth's hopes. Tyler could only watch, unable to act, as she sobbed.

A whisper, so inaudible he almost thought he imagined it, touched his ears. "If it doesn't work . . . I don't know what I'll do,"

X

Approximately twenty-eight hours and four random encounters with packs of werewolves after they'd left Florence, they crested a hill and beheld the city of Rome. It was a massive, glorious testament to human achievement in the first century AD, a mighty and sprawling city home to tens of thousands of people.

It was also currently on fire.

Massed outside the wall that encircled the city limits, streaming out of a campsite five hundred metres away, was a horde of barbarians, warriors in furs wielding an assortment of crude swords, axes and spears, throwing themselves against the Roman legionaries that were defending the main gates of the city like waves of the ocean. Some of them had broken through a hole in the wall, and were in the process of looting and burning everything they could touch, but at a site just beyond the breach in the wall, visible flares of magic were coming from what was obviously a battle between Servants.

"This is the second time we've run into a war that's still in the middle of being waged," Tyler dryly observed. "Are we going to charge in and see who those Servants fighting are this time too?"

"What? No, why would we do that? We need to make a plan, and -"

"Plans are for when we have time, Master. I don't know who those Servants fighting are but we need to go see who we want to win before the outcome's decided, otherwise we'll have no way of influencing it," Altria explained. "Kiyohime! Remember that conversation we had a few days ago about bridal carries?"

"Of course!" the Berserker shrilly squealed.

"Time to put it into action! Hold on tight, Master!" And before Nikki could voice a word of protest, she was being scooped up and carried away by the Saber. Kiyohime gleefully followed suit, hoisting Tyler in both arms despite his protests and pursuing her.

"Uh," Elizabeth glanced at Nobunaga and Joan. "Is this normal?"

"Depressingly," Joan started.

"I sure hope so! Haha!" Nobunaga cheered and chased after them. The other two girls shrugged and joined her in the pursuit.

OMAKE:

"Okay, I have to know," Nikki whispered to Tyler. "How did you deal with that . . noise?"

"Oh," he shrugged. "I'm tone deaf. Pretty much all music sounds the same to me. As long as it's got a good beat and I like the lyrics, all the little subtleties sorta just get lost on me,"

Chapter Text

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♦Topic: RE: The Chaldea Observatory Still Exists
In: Boards

Flauros (Original Poster) (Moderator) (Information Centre)
Posted on August 24, 2017:

Greetings to all my fellow Demon Gods. This is a cursory message alerting the collective that the operation to preemptively destroy the Chaldea Observatory was only partially successful. Of the 48 Master Candidates, 45 have been neutralized. Accordingly, the operation is designated 93.75% successful. My calculations indicate that the Chaldean remnant will pose no threat to our king's plan.

(Showing Page 1 of 3)

End of Page. 1, 2, 3

Chapter Text

Altria hit the wave of barbarians between her starting point and the breach in the wall like a wrecking ball. To extend the metaphor, the mob of warriors put up approximately the same amount of resistance as drywall.

The path she left in her wake was plenty wide enough for the rest of Chaldea to follow, provided one didn't mind stepping over and occasionally on various injured and dying barbarians.

They soon reached the crevasse in the fortifications, and immediately fanned out. "This is just a guess, but help the Romans push back the barbarians!" Tyler suggested.

"You heard him!" Gandr shots flew from Nikki's fingers, striking barbarians and paralysing them for long enough that the Romans could regain the advantage.

Altria casually backhanded one of the foreign combatants, expecting her casual blow to send him flying away, but was shocked when he merely staggered, then regained his balance and swung his sword at her with a furious bellow. "What the hell? These guys are way tougher than normal humans!"

"Agreed! This isn't normal!" Joan nodded from where she was wrestling with a bare-handed brawler.

"Instant Reinforcement!" Tyler barked, and red energy surged from his sleeve and into the Ruler, letting her throw off the assailant, shift her grip on her flagpole and stab him through the throat.

Nearby, Nobunaga laughed as guns floated around her, firing off salvos in every direction. Her glee was cut off as a spear-wielding warrior who'd tanked no fewer than five bullets to the chest caught her arm with his blade. He was in the middle of preparing to follow through, but her Master yelled "Emergency Evade!" and purple magic dragged her out of the way, and then Kiyohime smashed her assailant into the ground.

"Shit!" Nobunaga somewhat belatedly screamed, clutching her arm. "You're right! This isn't normal!"

"Don't be a baby. First Aid!" Nikki told her, green light sealing the wound into a scar.

"So you're certain we should be helping the Romans?" Elizabeth checked with her Master.

"Ninety percent, so yes!"

"Then my Noble Phantasm can take care of both the barbarians and sealing up the wall, but we should all be inside before I use it,"

"Right! Did everyone hear that? Get inside the wall!" Tyler bellowed, him and his Lancer making a break for the wound in Rome's fortifications.

"What? Um - right!" Altria was the last to make it through the gap, and the few surviving Roman soldiers, seeing that their mysterious newfound allies were retreating for some reason, followed suit.

It was only a few minutes before everyone was inside the wall, and Tyler looked out at another wave of barbarians surging towards them to renew the assault. "Liz, whatever your plan is, now's the time!"

"Anything for my number one fan!" she squealed, taking up a position in the centre of the hole in the wall.

"Only fan," Kiyohime couldn't help but snidely interject, and without looking Elizabeth offered her a middle finger.

"Do you all wanna hear my singing voice?" she screamed at the oncoming barbarian horde. Her microphone spear twirled in her hands above her head, and she slammed it into the ground, where a massive, ornate magic circle appeared around herself, glowing bright pink. Tyler, already edging back, stopped and stared at what was undeniably the most intricate example of Magecraft he'd seen to date, of the sort only a Servant could wield. Nonetheless, he did his best to commit it to memory as its effects took hold and massive, leathery wings erupted from Elizabeth's back, white with black ribs and tattered but no less majestic for it.

"I'll let you hear the greatest hit of the Servant World!" The magic took effect, and the ground and buildings around the hole in the wall began to warp and grow, purple mist erupting as Castle Cjeste took form around her, a torture house repurposed as a stage now becoming a fortress that patched the hole in the walls of Rome. Propelled by her wings, Elizabeth leapt into the air and perched like a harpy on her microphone, maintaining perfect balance as she inhaled. "This is my finale! Fresh Blood Demoness: Báthory Erzsébert!"

And then she sang, and everyone bore witness to the true function of the warped Castle Cjeste; it was a building-sized amplifier.

A few moments that were much too long later, Elizabeth dropped out of the sky and landed a moment before her wings faded back into Spiritrons. "What did you think, puppy? Did you like my performance?"

"Yes! That was amazing!" Tyler cheered, and the self-proclaimed idol giggled and preened under the praise.

"WHAT?!" Nikki screamed in their direction, clutching her ears.

"I said that Liz's Noble Phantasm is amazing!"

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" the eldest Master continued. "I THINK I'VE GONE DEAF!"

"That's probably temporary," Elizabeth assured them with a wince.

Tyler nodded, considering the situation, and a sudden roar from a couple of streets away reminded him of why they'd come to this spot. "Right. Altria, Nobu, keep an eye on Nikki until her hearing comes back. Everyone else, come with me! Let's see what we're dealing with!"

"NEW RULE! THAT NOBLE PHANTASM IS A LAST RESORT - HEY, WHERE'RE YOU GOING?!" Nikki yelled, watching her teammate and his Servants dash away. She made to chase after them, but Altria caught her wrist and held up a hand, gesturing to her ears.

A few moments later, the Chaldeans reached a street that was no longer worthy of the noun, such had it been torn up and ruined.

Before them, two people who radiated power, such that it was obvious they were both Servants, had paused in the middle of a bout, both gasping for breath. Across from them was a pale, gaunt man in Roman legionnaire's armour, wielding a blood-red spear. Meanwhile, a hulking man with copper skin and a dark beard had his back to them, eyeing the presumable-Lancer with a stern glint in his eyes.

"And who might you be?" the legionnaire called, brandishing his spear. "More enemies of Rome, here to see our nation felled?"

"No! We're from Chaldea, we're here to resolve this Singularity. Rome's not due to fall yet, so we've come to prevent that!"

"Ho?" the grey man turned and looked at them, eyes narrowing. "Then die," he growled, brandishing an arm - and suddenly there was an elephant charging at them.

"What the -" was as far as Tyler got, stunned at the sudden appearance of the world's largest mammal, then Joan hoisted him out of the way of being trampled by a stampeding circus animal. "Okay! Looks like we're helping the Lancer! Dr. Roman! Scan him!" he yelled at the communicator.

The frazzled doctor's face appeared. "Working on it! Rider-class Spirit Origin! True name's not in our records, I'll try to decipher -"

"Don't bother. He's Hannibal Barca, the Carthaginian general," the legionnaire told them, taking up a position.

"So that's why he can summon elephants," Tyler determined.

"Normally I'd suggest saving the history lesson for after the battle," Joan yelled as she charged at the Rider, only to be waylaid by another elephant that appeared out of thin air and tried to trample her. "But that information might be relevant now!"

"Hannibal's a famous general who fought against Rome in the Second Punic War," Tyler hastily explained. "He's best known for crossing the Alps with his army, including a troop of elephants, and using those elephants as living war machines against the Roman army!"

"He's also the front line general of the barbarians trying to raze Rome here and now. His elephants smashed a hole in the wall, and Emperor Nero sent me to repel the incursion," the Lancer explained. "As you can tell, I have not been successful!"

"Don't worry, that's why we're here," Tyler assured him. As he spoke, Kiyohime, screeching with rage, clung to the bulky Rider's back and started trying to strangle him with her flaming hands, leaving burns wherever she touched.

"Right! Does that help us fight him at all?" Joan demanded.

"If I remember right, they overcame the elephants with spears and shield walls, using fear and pain to force them to turn around and charge back into Hannibal's own troops!" Tyler added.

Joan paused, briefly glancing at her own flagpole/spear, then at the two Lancers. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"We can scavenge some shields from the dead soldiers," the Roman Servant nodded with a smile, already moving towards the trampled corpses of men that Hannibal had killed for getting too close to their fight.

"Kiyohime, keep him distracted!" the Ruler commanded, also running to snatch up a discarded shield. Elizabeth did the same, reversing her microphone to lift its spear tip up and fell in beside her. Their new ally joined them on the other side, now also armed with a shield.

Tyler stared at the three-Servant shield wall for a moment. "Are we actually doing this?"

"Do you have a better plan?" Joan demanded.

"Guess not. Kiyo, get back over here! Emergency Evasion!" he called to where the Berserker and Rider were scrapping.

"Hai, Master-sama!" Kiyohime fled, sliding past Elizabeth and joining Tyler behind the wall as Hannibal focused on them.

"Do you think me a fool?" he rumbled. "I'm not going to blindly assault such an obvious -"

Elizabeth snapped her fingers and triggered one of her Skills. No matter how much she repressed her identity as the vampire who tortured maidens to death in pursuit of eternal youth, the legends remained and she knew better than to refuse to make good use of them. And so she afflicted Hannibal with her Torture Technique.

He screamed as bloody welts erupted on every inch of exposed skin, like invisible spikes were digging into him. "What is this? Stop this at once!" he roared, and an elephant appeared, charging towards them entirely out of reflex.

"That was you, right? Nice work," Joan nodded, and Bathory preened at the elephant reached their spears. It trumpeted in distress even as it pushed them back, bloody gashes appearing in its skin, and they poked and prodded it, trying to maximise the poor creature's discomfort and encourage it to return to sender.

It took a moment, but they succeeded, and with a couple of pokes in the rear end to encourage it, the elephant went roaring back towards its summoner. "Damn you!" Hannibal bellowed before the elephant bowled him over, dissipating a couple of moments too late and leaving him sprawled on the ground.

"That spear's a Noble Phantasm, right? Any special tricks?" Tyler asked the legionnaire as the formation broke, and he shook his head. "None that are helpful to us right now. Oh, but forgive me, I haven't introduced myself. Class name, Lancer. My true name is Lucius Longinus. It is an honour to meet you all," the legionnaire Servant nodded.

"That. I know that name. Where have I heard that before?" he frowned, wracking his brains.

"Not the time! He's getting back up!" Kiyohime warned, and sure enough Hannibal was forcing himself to his feet.

"This would be a great time for a finishing Noble Phantasm! Anyone have something?" Tyler pressed.

"Don't look at me. I'm not a real Servant, I don't have one," Joan reminded him.

"Mine's not very strong, he's already tanked it without issue," Lucius added.

"So it's up to me, then?" Kiyohime guessed.

"Seems like. Go ahead,"

The Berserker lit up with blue fire and roared, "Transforming, Flame-Emitting Meditation: Samadhi Through Flames!" She took off, bum-rushing the Rider and beating him back into the ground even as she metamorphosed into a massive serpent of blue flame.

As the two Servants thrashed, everyone else took several steps back for fear of the proximity of the heat.

Lucius raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips. "You know, I'm not sure whether to approve of the way you do things or just be terrified,"

"Rest assured that the feelings aren't mutually exclusive," Tyler brightly informed him, and he nodded contemplatively.

After several long moments, the transformation ended and Kiyohime triumphantly stood atop the collapsed Carthaginian general. "Master! Do you want me to kill him?"

"Let's try to take him captive, actually. Maybe convincing him to join our side will put me back in the Director's good books," the boy reasoned. "He's a big guy though. Are there any carts around here? Maybe a chariot in a pinch? I don't think we'll be able to carry him to the prison," He paused. "Actually, does Rome even have a prison capable of holding a Servant?"

"I'm sure that the citizens won't mind lending their saviours a cart, and that Emperor Nero will be able to work something out," Lucius assured him. "We still need to deal with the barbarians coming in through the wall,"

"Actually, we took care of that. It's a temporary fix, but it'll hold until the end of the battle at least," Elizabeth assured him.

"Excellent! In that case, everyone spread out, we need to mop up the stragglers before any more Romans are slaughtered. After that, we must reinforce Mozart. He is commanding the defence at the main gate and undoubtedly needs reinforcements,"

"You all go ahead, I'll go check on Nikki and fill her in. We'll all meet back up at the gatehouse, okay?" Tyler commanded.

"Yeah, all of you go do those things, I call dibs on protecting Master!" Kiyohime added, taking his arm in a death grip.

Joan looked like she was about to protest, but Lucius placed a hand on her shoulder. "You must respect the rule of dibs," he sagely informed her.

". . Ugh. Whatever," she grumbled, storming away in search of something to kill.

X

As the others busied themselves with cleanup, Tyler found Nikki and her two Servants - thankfully with hearing mostly restored - and filled her in on what she'd missed.

"Right. Good work. Longinus, huh? Don't know the name, but we don't have time for that. It sounds like seconds matter, so we need to get over to the gatehouse,"

"Fair enough. The others know where to go, let's go," the boy agreed, taking off with Kiyohime easily keeping pace.

Nikki sighed. "Altria, carry me while I close my eyes and focus on Castle Cjeste," she instructed.

"What?" Nobunaga asked as Altria, stifling a chuckle, complied. "Our Master has an actively malicious sense of direction. Trust me, this is the only way we're going to get anywhere in time to make a difference," she explained, taking off in pursuit of their allies.

Nobunaga chuckled. "Ah, this group is wild. I love it!"

X

Only a few minutes later, they had made their way down the inside of the wall and reached the visibly damaged gatehouse, where, amidst the wreckage of the city gates, a shield wall of Roman legionnaires were holding firm against the barbarians trying to force their way into the city. For a moment, Tyler wondered why their enemies hadn't taken advantage of the breach to attack the defensive formation from behind, then noticed a pile of corpses to the side of the road. It seemed like they had, and paid the price at the hands of a Noble Phantasm.

They were being presided over by a man perched atop what was left of the gatehouse, wearing an ornate brown, purple and green dress robe and matching hat, waving a baton as though he were conducting a symphony while he surveyed the battlefield. "I'm gonna assume that's another friendly Servant," he guessed. "Da Vinci? Who is he?"

"Coming right up," the Caster assured them from the hologram on his wrist. "Caster-class spirit origin. Oh, yes, this is exciting. You're about to meet the one and only Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart!"

"If he's powerful enough to help, he could be Junior Tolkien for all I care," Nikki retorted.

"J.R.R. Tolkien," Tyler corrected her.

"Same difference!" The Chaldeans paused at the rear of the enemy formation. "Nobunaga, climb up there with the Caster and provide fire support. It looks like the Romans are holding for now. So -"

There was a concussive impact as something struck the shield wall, and a mass of Roman soldiers were thrown out of the way, landing in a heap to the side. The rest of the human warriors panicked, their formation breaking as Tyler and Kiyohime got caught in the throng, and in turn Da Vinci screamed at them, "Berserker-class Spirit Origin! He's suddenly just there!"

"Altria!" Nikki commanded, stepping forwards, and as the Romans fled the Saber shoved her way through the crowd, hefting Excalibur with a nod.

Once the space in the ruins of the gatehouse was cleared, the man before them made to advance only to find Altria locking eyes with him. "Berserker!" she snapped. "I am the King of Knights, a Servant of Chaldea and defender of Proper Human History. Rome won't fall today, and I'm here to make sure of it!"

Hearing her words, the Romans paused in their flight, staring at the heroine before them. "Is that the Emperor?" someone asked. "Who cares, she's on our side!" "Form up behind her, men! We are Romans, we're better than this!" a centurion barked, and a smile tugged at Altria's lips as the shield wall reasserted itself behind her.

Meanwhile, the barbarians following in the wake of the enemy Servant had paused as he held up an arm, and the two Servants squared off, letting Altria take in her foe.

Oddly, he looked more like he ought to be fighting on the Romans' side than against them; clad in golden armour of Roman design, and wearing a tattered, blood-red cape. He held no weapon, save golden gauntlets on his forearms, and his skin and hair were both stained dark, as though they'd once been white as snow and black as ink but spent too long in the sun. His lips were twisted into a leer, and his eyes were disconcerting for lacking whites; they were merely black orbs with red irises. Incongruously, a green collar with runes etched onto it was wrapped around his neck.

"So whose ass am I about to kick?" Altria casually asked.

"Nero," the Berserker growled.

Altria tilted her head. ". . No, I'm pretty sure that you're not Nero,"

"Be wary, Saber," She looked up to see the Caster atop the gatehouse ruins looking down at them. "That is the Emperor of Death, Gaius Caesar Augustus Germanicus. Or, as he's better known, Caligula. The little boot,"

Caligula shrieked in fury, rocketing into the air with a burst of red magical energy. "Don't . . call me that!" he bellowed, and Mozart paled as he brought his fists down in a smash worthy of the Incredible Hulk.

A salvo of floating muskets knocked him back enough that he crashed to the ground, and Nobunaga grinned at her successful strike. "Keep him busy, Altria! We'll support as best we can! Right?"

"Yes, of course! I'll do what little I can," Mozart assured them.

"Good enough for me," Altria brought her sword down on the prone Berserker, hoping to end the fight quickly.

Caligula caught the sword between two fingers and his thumb.

"The fuck?!" the corrupted king demanded, disbelieving, but then she was tossed backwards.

Caligula chased after her, ignoring bullets that bounced off his armoured back from Nobunaga's guns, and brought his fists down on Altria, smashing her straight into the ground. Just for the sake of overkill, his hands then exploded with red light, forcing her to burn more mana to maintain her existence.

"Oi, little boot!" He froze, then wheeled and bellowed wordlessly as Nobunaga hit the ground, swinging her sword such that it caught the light and got his attention and glaring at him with all the menace she could muster. "Yeah, that's your berserk button, ain't it? Never mind sword lady, you want a piece of the demon archer, ain't that right?"

"Give me your life!" the berserk emperor bellowed, charging at her in turn.

As soon as he got close enough, the Fool of Owari summoned a gun levelled right at him and pressed its muzzle straight into his mouth. "Hah. Baited ya," she declared with a savage grin, and pulled the trigger.

Caligula stumbled backwards, clutching his mouth, and Nobunaga tilted hers in confusion. "Oi, your brains should be chunky salsa, what gives?"

He straightened and, with a noise like a cat choking up a hairball, spat the bullet out and onto the ground, where it began dissipating into spiritrons. With that, he leered through bloody teeth at his enemy and spat, "Try . . harder,"

Nobunaga scowled and summoned more guns. "My pleasure. Three Thousand Worlds: Three Line Formation," she brusquely informed him, and opened fire.

The bullets bounced off Caligula's armour and flesh, leaving holes and bloody welts, but he was undeterred, ignoring the damage as he reached out and wrapped meaty fingers around Nobunaga's neck. He gripped tight, lifting her up and choking her.

"Go ahead," Nobunaga spat. "Try it. You might be surprised,"

"Oi, boot bastard!" Caligula turned, swinging Nobunaga through the air in his grip, and glanced at Altria, who was back on her feet. Mozart stood behind her, a collection of small, cartoonish angels around them both and empowering the Saber. "Thanks for moving, now my partner's not in the line of fire," she grinned. "Vortigern, hammer of the vile king, reverse the rising sun. Sword of Promised Victory: Excalibur Morgan!"

The beam of red and black magic threw Caligula into the rubble of the gatehouse, which promptly began to collapse around him. He bellowed in fury, until a chunk of rubble collapsing over his head forced him to close his mouth.

A long moment later, Excalibur dimmed, and Nobunaga hastily rejoined her allies. Romans on one side, barbarians on the other and Servants in the middle all watched with bated breath to see whether or not that was the end of it.

Their patience was rewarded, as Caligula erupted from the rubble and stood before them, bruised and battered but ready to continue. He drew breath, raising his arms, and -

"Caligula!" A sudden voice interrupted the fight, and Caligula stopped dead. In turn, Mozart and the Chaldeans paused, looking out at the horde of barbarians as they parted to admit a vehicle.

It could only be described as a chariot from hell; an overwrought monstrosity of metal that bristled with spikes and bloody imagery, mounted on wheels that looked like they'd been ripped out of the devil's personal sawmill and splattered with mostly-dried blood. A pair of monstrous Phantasmal bicorns pulled it, with halters and reins wrapped around their muzzles, and following those reins led to a massive, beefy woman with a mane of shaggy red hair and blue war paint decorating her face, wearing a mix of armour and dress that bristled with spikes, black metal plates over red cloth that hung to her feet.

"That's enough! Now's not the time for you to rampage!" the woman barked at Caligula. He wordlessly roared in defiance, only for a flash of green from the collar around his neck to kill the bellow in his throat.

"That's what I thought. Now, come back here. It's much too soon for you to throw your life away. You haven't suffered enough yet after all," Grudgingly, resentfully, Caligula returned to the ranks of the barbarians.

"So you're the one in charge of this army attacking Rome, are you? Who are you?" Nikki asked, emerging from the group of legionnaires to stand with her Servants.

The red-haired woman laughed. "Who am I? Well, isn't it obvious? If anything, I should ask you that, for not many people would have the willpower to stand there and ask such a bold question so brazenly! Haha, I'll tell you then!" Thunder cracked despite the clearness of the sky, and suddenly the woman before them loomed. Her stature didn't change, but Nikki couldn't help but feel like she was staring at a malevolent giant as the charioteer bellowed, "I am Boudica, Queen of the Iceni! Of all people in all of history, I have been wronged most greatly by the Romans! So I will personally raze Rome to a crater, and everything that I lost will be avenged!"

Chapter Text

Nikki processed this. "Tyler? Where did you go?" she called.

Tyler, with Kiyohime in tow, finally emerged from the crowd and joined the rest of the Chaldeans. "Here,"

"I have no idea who she is. You're the historian here, how bad is it?"

After a second of blinking in disbelief, he collected himself enough to say, "Really, really bad, if I'm right," He stepped forward, forcing himself to keep calm by remembering that his incredibly devoted Servant who turned into an anger-fuelled dragon was right behind him if anything happened. "Just, to make sure, you're that Boudica, right? The one whose kingdom was conquered and daughters were raped by Romans, who united the tribes of Britain to lead a revolution, but was defeated and committed suicide rather than be captured, three years ago from this time in history?"

"You're familiar, then. Good," Boudica leaned forward, malice dancing in her eyes. "So you understand why there will be no parley. No negotiation, no peace. Why I won't, can't rest until Rome has been levelled down to its last brick. Everything that is Roman will be ground into dust under the wheels of my chariot!" she screamed, and the pure hatred oozing from her voice seemed to make the air around her feel charged with static electricity.

"Yeah," Tyler nodded. "Yeah, that's pretty much exactly what I'd expect,"

Nikki winced and quietly asked, "Wait, are we sure the Romans are the good guys here?"

Tyler didn't answer her, instead looking at the Berserker who'd taken up a position next to Boudica's chariot. "What about Caligula?" he asked. "Why is a Roman Emperor helping you destroy Rome? He was the ruler of this city not long ago, and his nephew's ruling it right now,"

"Haha. Oh, that's just thanks to a bit of magic my court wizard whipped up," Boudica cackled. "It's because he's the uncle of the abominable Nero Claudius that I've got him with me! That's why I wanted to keep him and all the other Roman Servants we've summoned in reserve, for the day Nero takes the field in person. I'm going to make that loathsome Emperor Nero slaughter an entire legion of the greatest heroes in Roman history just to earn the chance to put a sword to my neck! Hahahaa, it's going to be absolute torture and I can't wait!"

"Nevermind, we're on the right side here," Nikki determined.

"Hang on, when you say the greatest heroes in Roman history -" Tyler started, but was interrupted.

"Oh, yes. Caligula's only the start. For a name I'm sure even you'll recognise, you illiterate magus," she growled at Nikki, "I have one Julius Caesar chained up in my command tent. As well as the most terrible of all the Roman emperors of old," she hissed.

Nikki winced, but Tyler went pale. "You summoned Tarquinius Superbus?!"

For a moment, there was silence.

Boudica's shaggy eyebrows furrowed. "Who?"

"Tarquinius Superbus? The seventh and final pre-Republican Roman Emperor? The guy who was so horrible he soured all of Rome on the very concept of monarchy and caused them to invent the Republic just to make sure they never had to deal with someone like him again - wait, hang on, if you don't mean Tarquinius Superbus who are you talking about?"

Boudica snarled. "You'll just have to fight him and find out. Go ahead and rest on your laurels for now, I don't care to waste my men when there are enough Servants in the area to hold out against us for much longer than I'm comfortable with. But rest assured that we will be back," she told them with gleeful cruelty, and then her chariot wheeled, men throwing themselves out of her way as she took off in the direction of the Iceni campsite. Caligula growled and chased after her, and the rest of the barbarians began to retreat.

"Bravo! Marvellously done! A flawless victory!" Mozart enthusiastically informed them, breaking into a round of applause.

"This wasn't a victory. She's letting us go because we're an unknown factor and she needs to change her plans to accomodate us," Nikki shook her head, turning to focus on the Caster. "So, you're Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, correct? The famous musician?"

"And no other like me!" Mozart assured her, beaming. "On the other hand, I can't say I know who you are. You claim to be from Chaldea? How interesting, I certainly didn't expect a third party to come to our aid,"

"Actually I want to ask. How is it that a French Servant from hundreds of years in the future is here in Rome?" Tyler asked.

"Ah, it's quite obvious! Thus far, I have observed that this Singularity has not merely summoned Servants who owe their loyalty to Rome to aid us in our fight, but also Servants who are inclined towards the art of music!"

The Master nodded in response. "That makes sense. Explains why Liz was summoned here too, actually,"

"No," Nikki shook her head. "No, it doesn't, because accepting that as an explanation requires accepting what Báthory does as being music,"

"So you've already encountered another musically inclined Servant? Marvellous! I simply must compare my performances with her when we have a moment," Mozart gleefully nodded. "All the same, it seems that time is short and Emperor Nero must be appraised of what has happened here, and be introduced to you as well. Shall we? We oughtn't dally, I'm certain,"

"As soon as the rest of the Servants catch up, we'll go," Nikki agreed.

"Yeah, let's! I can't believe we're about to meet a real, life Roman Emperor! I never thought I'd get a chance like this - do you know how valuable first-hand experience like this is to historians? This could make me the most famous . ." He paused, and his smile faded, ". . laughingstock in the field because no one will ever believe that I used magic to go back in time and helped Emperor Nero defend Rome from an invasion launched by the resurrected Queen Boudica that never happened in actual history,"

Nikki patted his shoulder sympathetically. "Look on the bright side. Maybe you can get Nero to tell you about some secret tomb lost to history and then get rich and famous from discovering it when the timeline’s stopped being on fire,"

X

It wasn't long before they were waiting outside a large marble building, and Tyler was quietly geeking out about the fact that they were about to enter an intact, non-ruined Roman Forum that had been repurposed as a war room. "We've got cameras, right? You have to take a picture of me standing at the podium and pretending to be consul!" He gasped as an idea struck him. "Or do you think Nero might name me an honorary consul?! It's a defunct position at this point in time, it wouldn't actually mean anything, but it'd be so cool! Oh! I need to get a toga!"

Unsurprisingly, he was the centre of attention, and Kiyohime was openly pouting. "I wish he got that excited about me," she mumbled.

"I wish he'd smile at me like that," Joan subvocalised.

Elizabeth, on the other hand, was barely paying attention, following the rest of the group seemingly in a stupor.

"Emperor Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus will now meet with the strangers who aided in the defence of Rome!" a clerk announced, beckoning them in.

The interior of the Forum was surprisingly sparse. A table had been erected with a map of Rome and the surrounding areas, and several wizened-looking senators were gathered around it, presided over by a blonde woman. All of them looked up at their arrival, and while the men resumed their ponderings, their female leader stood and mover towards them.

"Hello there!" the blonde woman with bright green eyes and a red dress beamed at the Chaldeans. "I am Nero Claudius, and I'm quite delighted to make your acquaintance!"

Tyler, for a moment, just stared. "Well. Um. Now no one's ever going to believe anything I publish about this situation for an entirely different reason,"

"Umu?" Nero tilted her head inquisitively.

"Nothing important!" Nikki hastily put herself in front of her teammate. "It is our honour to meet you, Emperor Nero Claudius. We are the Masters of Chaldea, and behind us are our Servants. Before anything else, though, there's something you need to be aware of," she spoke solemnly. "The enemy has your uncle, Caligula,"

"Oh. I know that. They weren't exactly keeping it secret," Nero shrugged.

The bluenette paused. "And, um, that doesn't bother you?"

"It infuriates me," Nero casually assured her. "But my uncle's dead, he has been for years. Our friend over there has already explained the nature of these entities you call Servants to me," she gestured to Mozart. "It's a lovely concept. Perhaps someday I too shall become an immortal Heroic Spirit, my name and majesty etched onto the Throne of Heroes for all time. Umu, that sounds wonderful!" She practically swooned at the thought, then recollected herself. "All the same, my uncle being brought back as some kind of magic-powered ghost - assuming it is him and not an impostor - doesn't change the fact that he's been forced to become my enemy. I would dearly love to have him back, but I have already resigned myself to the fact that, most likely, the most I'll be able to do is let him return to the peace of the Underworld. Or, I suppose, wherever the Throne actually is - Mozart was irritatingly vague about that,"

Nikki glared at Mozart. "You told her about magecraft?!" she snapped.

"I didn't know actual Masters were coming! I thought it was just me, Lucius and any other Servant that happened to trickle in against Boudica. It seemed like the best option!" he defended himself.

"Ugh. Right. No biggie, after the Singularity it'll be like none of this ever happened anyway," she mumbled, continuing. "Boudica's enslaving Roman Servants and pitting them against us to torture you. She told us that, directly,"

"Well, of course she is. It's not like she's being remotely subtle about it," Nero snorted, folding her arms. "But it doesn't matter. I am Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus, the fifth Emperor of Rome. Even if I have to kill my own mother - again - I won't allow little things like sentiment to cloud my judgement. As Emperor, it is my duty to make sure that Rome survives. Because the people in this city love me with all their hearts, and I will return that love by protecting their lives and livelihoods," For the briefest moment, her composure cracked as she finished, "No matter how much it may pain me,"

Nikki's eyes softened. "I'm glad to hear that,"

"Umu!" Nero triumphantly nodded. "Now, where were we? Right, tactics. Come, Chaldeans, join us at the table!" As Nero sat back down, Tyler and Nikki moved to join her.

For a moment, she scrutinised the map, then looked up at her advisors. "I have completely forgotten everything we were just talking about," she said with a perfectly straight face. "Remind me?"

"You what?" Tyler choked.

The man closest to him leaned over and whispered; "The Emperor often suffers from migraines and short-term memory loss. We try not to bring it up, she's sensitive about it,"

For a moment, Tyler stared at the blonde Emperor out of the corner of his eye, and then mumbled, "Never meet your heroes, huh?"

"The barbarians are camped to the west-southwest of the city. The attack we just repelled was launched at the western gatehouse, but their general used massing the troops around it as a cover to launch a strike with his elephants and punch a hole in the wall here, slightly north of that position," one of the senators recapped.

"Why didn't he go to the south? It was closer," Tyler asked.

"Because we expected that and massed a lot of our remaining troops in that area," Nero told him. "Targeting the spot that was further away caught us off-guard. I've no doubt he was trying for a pincer attack on the gatehouse. We might have lost half the city if you all hadn't aided my new friend Lucius in capturing him. So thank you!"

"Oh, um, heh, you're welcome. The Servants did all the work really," he mumbled, a bashful blush crossing his cheeks.

"Umu!" Nero couldn't help but giggle at how easily flustered he was.

"Ahem," Nikki refocused on the map. "So where do you think they'll attack next?"

"We've already got builders working on repairing the gatehouse that my uncle and the general you captured destroyed,"

"Hannibal," Tyler interjected.

"Yes, right, him," the Emperor dismissively waved her hand. "But it's still more vulnerable than any other place in Rome. But then that might be too obvious a target, so they could instead attack the southern gate. Or they might know we’d think that, and attack the western gate because they think we expect them to attack the southern gate. But then they might know that8s what I’m thinking and stay one step ahead of that and attack the southern gate after all!” She rubbed her head. “Now I have a migraine again,”

"Well, we just captured the one who was responsible for damaging the gatehouse in the first place. So unless they have someone else capable of -" Tyler began, but Nikki held up a hand.

"They do. Caligula is a Berserker," she reminded him. "Not to mention Boudica, who - actually, Da Vinci, what class was she?"

"I'm honestly not certain. She wasn't there for long enough tor me to get a clear fix on her Spirit Origin, there was some kind of interference," Da Vinci's blue face appeared, and the Romans stared at it in confusion.

"What is this?" Nero asked. "Some sort of communication magic?"

"Um. Basically, yeah,"

"Do you have more?! Real-time communications like this, not dependent on couriers and so much faster too, could make a massive difference in our ability to react to threats and coordinate our defences!"

Tyler sharply inhaled and nodded, glancing at Nikki and Da Vinci. "We're idiots. How did we not think of that?"

"I'll start making more communicators immediately. If we're going to get them to you, though, you'll need to establish a summoning circle on a ley line. That way we can Rayshift another Servant to you while they're carrying the communicators," the Caster instructed. "Director, you have the comm. Romani, scan the maps and guide them to a ley line we can use. I'll get to work!" she instructed and bustled away.

"I didn't understand a word of that but it sounded good!" Nero beamed.

"Yep. I'll take care of finding a ley line and making a summoning circle," Tyler suggested. "I don't think I'll be able to contribute much to our tactics anyway - actually, hey. Joan?"

"Yeah, Master?" The Ruler stepped forward from where she'd been waiting with the other Servants.

"You did tactics back in Paris, with the French army, right? Take my seat and fill me in when I get back," he suggested.

"Sure, I can play ball," she nodded and they traded places.

Nikki also stood as her teammate moved to leave. "I'm going to have a quick word with Tyler, in private. Back in a minute," she informed the Romans and promptly chased after him.

As they exited the Forum, there was a moment of silence.

". . I think we're out of earshot," Nikki said a moment later. "It is now safe to freak out. Now - really! Did you see -"

"What, that Nero's a -"

"- because I thought I was hallucinating! What in the -"

"- was every historian in this era incompetent?"

"- wouldn't believe it but she was right there, with -"

"- some kind of massive conspiracy -"

"- and she's acting like a movie character, all -"

"- that dress should not exist in this era -"

"- get it if she was a Servant, Servants are weird, but -"

"- most revolutionary discovery in Roman historiography and no one will ever believe me!"

"- this is, this is," Running out of steam, Nikki sat down with a thump and pressed her head to her hands. "The fifth Emperor of Rome, Nero Claudius, is a ditzy, blonde, singing battle maniac with short-term memory loss. Tyler. You're a historian,"

"Student," he reminded her.

"Whatever. Is there anything. Anything at all. That could explain . ." she idly waved in the direction of Nero. "That?"

To his credit, Tyler seriously considered the question. ". . Well, I suppose it's possible that an absence of male heirs left the nobility of the time with no recourse but to maintain a massive charade. It was the done thing for important people to make themselves look like gods, usually Zeus - or, well, Jupiter, since we're in Rome - so I guess what modern scholarship considers an accurate depiction of Nero's likeness must have been entirely fabricated?"

"Right. Any other ideas?"

"Uhhh . . Nero had a secret twin sister who assumed his identity after he died at a young age?"

"Actually, before she left Da Vinci found another piece of the puzzle," Olga-Marie interjected as the hologram flickered to life. "Apparently we're getting magical readings from Nero. Something that's very similar to a Saber-class Spirit Origin,"

Both Masters stared at her for a moment.

"So, what, she's not actually the living, historical Nero? She's a Servant who replaced him?"

"No, that's not it. She's definitely alive and native to this time period. But," The Director floundered for a moment. "Romani, you understand it better, explain!"

"I'll do my best, Director," Dr. Roman acquiesced. "The evidence seems to suggest that Nero Claudius at some point, possibly in direct response to this Singularity's existence, ceased to be an ordinary human and developed into something more. Though it's also possible that Nero Claudius was never human in the first place, but I don't think that's it. If anything, I think what we're seeing is some kind of . ." he winced, "conceptual corruption. Where some event in the future caused the existence that is 'Nero Claudius' to be retroactively overwritten from the man that Proper Human History remembers and replaced with . . well, you saw,"

Tyler considered this. "Um. Is it just me or does that sound absolutely terrifying? Like, someone actively altered the reality of this Singularity for some reason?"

"I never said the phenomenon was limited to this Singularity," Dr. Roman told him. "I don't have enough data to confirm, but it's quite possible that this affects every possible version of Nero that exists in any and all realities across the whole Kaleidoscope,"

"Okay, that? That's way above my pay grade," Nikki interrupted. "Is this likely to have repercussions for us solving this Singularity?"

"I doubt it, no,"

"And thank the Root for that!" Olga-Marie chimed in, wiping sweat off her brow.

"Right. Good. In that case, we shouldn't dwell on it but should just go back in there and resume,"

Tyler rubbed his head. "Yeah, I need a few more minutes to come to terms with the fact that the most shocking revelation about Roman history that I could have imagined came about because someone retroactively warped Nero's entire life,"

The older Master nodded. "Um, good luck with that," With that, she started making her way back to the Forum.

It took a minute, but he finally heaved out a sigh and stood up. "Okay, fine, let's find this ley line. Kiyohime -"

"Present!" The greenette popped out of a bush, which didn't faze him at all.

"- and Elizabeth," He paused for a moment, to no response. ". . Liz?"

"Oh, she vanished somewhere as soon we entered the Forum," Kiyohime told him.

Tyler blinked and stared at her incredulously. "And you didn't think to tell me?"

"It didn't seem important," she unapologetically shrugged. "Who cares? We don't need her,"

". . later, we are going to have a serious talk about your attitude towards my other Servants," Tyler promised her. "Split up, we need to find her!"

The Berserker waffled. ". . Do we though?"

"Don't make me use a Command Spell!" he snapped.

"Sheesh, okay, fine, I'll help look," she grumbled but nodded, and the two split up.

A moment later, Dr. Roman's voice reached him. "You do realise that I can just track her Spirit Origin, right?"

Tyler stopped dead and sweatdropped. ". . Oh yeah. Whoops. That's actually really convenient,"

"It's probably for the best, if this is going the way I think it's going you don't want Kiyohime around for this next part,"

". . what does that mean?"

"Well, I like to think that I'm an intelligent man," Dr. Roman smiled with the air of a preening swan. "There was a time in my life when people even called me clairvoyant, such was my perception,"

"Stop tooting your own horn and tell me where Liz is!"

The doctor visibly deflated. "Down the street and take a left,"

Following the directions, he slowed when he heard the faint sound of someone whimpering. Dr. Roman didn't say anything, but he didn't have to, as it only took a minute for him to find the idol crouched in a corner. "Liz?" he blinked. She was sniffing to herself, and the stains in her makeup made it obvious that she'd been crying.

"O-oh . . sorry, Master," she mumbled, blearily blinking up at him. "I didn't want you to see me like this,"

"Well you went missing without saying anything and I thought something had happened to you, so I came looking," He crouched, settling down next to her. "What happened?"

"I-it's nothing. It's silly. I'm just being silly," she mumbled. "Just, don't worry about me, I'll be fine in a bit,"

"You'll be fine sooner if I'm here with you," Tyler countered, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "I know what depression looks like when I see it,"

"I am not! I'm an idol, idols don't get depressed, they're always smiling and happy and having the time of their lives! . . At least, that's how they are when other people are around. So I only let myself feel this way when I'm by myself . ." she trailed off, burying her head in her knees.

"What set it off?" he gently asked, a bit more abruptly than he'd intended. "It wasn't something we did, was it?"

"No!" she immediately assured him with a touch more misdirected frustration than she’d intended, then took a breath. "During the fight against Hannibal, earlier, I used my Torture Technique ability. It's . . something I have because of . . you know,"

"I actually don't, but is it related to that dream I had two nights ago about you?"

"Dream?" So Tyler told her what he'd seen; the evil older version of her surrounded by corpses and bathing in their blood to regain her youth, only to be papered over by a flimsy and stained fantasy of stardom.

"Oh. You saw that," she mumbled. A second late, she started and jerked away, staring at her Master in disbelief. "Wait, you saw that?! And you're not afraid? Or repulsed? How can you still sit so close to me?!"

Tyler paused for a second, processing now to handle the question. "To be perfectly honest, I have really low standards for what makes someone worth caring about,"

". . Well, gee. Okay, so what does that mean?"

He closed his eyes and sighed. "I've been lonely and alone for years. Everyone judged me, everyone thought I wasn't worth their time, everyone ignored me or abandoned me as soon as it was the slightest bit convenient for them. So, I guess it's just that when someone acknowledges me, no matter what the reason for it is, I don't mind whether they're stalkers who murder people who lie to them, or artificial Servants born from a madman's dream, or even reformed murderers trying to escape their own insanity. I just hold on tight and hope that they won't leave me too,"

Elizabeth processed this. After a long moment, she began to explain. "When I was alive, I was the Countess of Blood. I - the older me - was obsessed with making herself young again, young forever, by regularly bathing in the blood of young girls. Me and my maids kidnapped and tortured hundreds of innocent village girls to death in a vain, deluded quest for eternal youth and beauty. I was the inspiration for Carmilla, one of the original fictional vampires. By rights, that's how I should have manifested, as a vampire,"

"So, why are you a dragon, then?" Tyler asked, digesting this.

"Because I said no!" Elizabeth snapped. "I don't want that to be me! Right down to my original self, the Heroic Spirit Elizabeth Bathory regrets what she became and wishes to erase her bloody legend. So when I manifest, I concentrate with every fibre of my being on manifesting as something, anything other than a vampire, or else I won't manifest at all!" She paused, breathing. "But I can't just get rid of the Innocent Monster skill in my Saint Graph, so I can't really be human. I guess the Throne, or the Counter Force, or whatever it is that decides these things, looked at the dragon on my family crest and decided that making me a dragon-girl instead was a good compromise. And . . I mean, I'm okay with this. It's weird to have horns and a tail, but if it's this or becoming Carmilla I'll happily be the most dragonish dragon that ever dragoned a - uh," She realised she didn't have a way to finish that sentence, and brushed it off with a "Well, you know what I mean,"

"Dragons are pretty cool," Tyler agreed with a smile, and Elizabeth lit up with joy.

Then it faded and she drew back in on herself. "So, that's me. That's why I suck. That's why I want to overwrite my legend and become an idol. That's . . why I don't deserve to be a hero,"

Tyler hugged her. "And I told you, I don't care. You're trying to fix your past, and you've been nice to me. That's more than I could ask for,"

For a second, her breath caught, then she nodded with a stifled whimper and leant on him. "You're the best Master I could have dared to hope for," Elizabeth mumbled. Hearing him draw breath to contest the compliment, her tail came up and whipped him in the face. "No. Don't say anything. I mean it, puppy, there's nothing you can say to convince me otherwise. You're the best," So they stayed like that for a long moment, two damaged people taking comfort in each other's support.

"This is adorable, but we still need to find that ley line," Dr. Roman interrupted.

The Director promptly slapped the back of his head. "God damn it, Romani, there are some things you just don't interrupt!"

X

"Please, please tell me it's good enough this time," Tyler groaned, looking at the magic circle he'd spent almost two hours fine-tuning on the ground of an abandoned house. Upon discovering that the ley line ran through the empty building, he'd contacted Nikki, and through her had extracted permission from Nero to claim the building as the temporary base of Chaldea.

"I think that'll be adequate, yes," Da Vinci nodded, peering at the screen, before offering him a thumbs up.

"Have we decided which Servant to send through with the communicators yet?" he asked.

"Well, considering what we know about your opposition, there's one quite obvious choice who's quite well suited to the opposition you'll be facing. Nikki should be on her way over to conduct the summoning - oh, speak of the devil,"

"I'm here. Where are we at?" Nikki asked, barging into the building and critically inspecting Tyler's ritual circle. "Not bad for a first timer," she acquiesced, and he stifled a smile of satisfaction. "Now we just need to fill it with blood,"

"What?!"

"I was wondering if such would be necessary!" The Chaldeans started as Emperor Nero swept into the room in Nikki's wake, staring intently at the magic circle. "So this is magecraft! Umu! How exciting!"

"Um, your Majesty. What are you doing here?" Tyler asked.

"Isn't it obvious? I want to watch!"

Nikki winced. "Well, your Majesty, these rituals are of a sensitive and - eh?"

Joan had taken her by the shoulder and fixed her with a warning look. "She is the Emperor of Rome. If she wants to watch, she gets to watch,"

". . Touché. Fine," the blue-haired Master grumbled, striding over to the ritual circle. "Back to the matter of blood,"

"Bring in the cow!" Nero barked, and a farmhand obediently led a chubby heifer through the doorway of the building. "Animal blood is acceptable, yes? Because I could get human if we need it, but it might take a while and I don't think the people would like it much. And this way we've also had dinner delivered to us! Umu, it's actually quite convenient to have food brought straight to you in your domicile, come to think. Perhaps I ought to make it a regular occurrence for the people?"

Tyler pointed at her and shook his head, partly to avert his eyes as Nikki accepted a knife from the farmhand and cleanly cut the poor animal's throat. "It is two thousand years too early to invent UberEats," he warned her.

"Oh, you have a name for it in your time? Delightful!"

"Tyler, you should be paying attention. This is good mid-level Magecraft!" Nikki called, magically manipulating gravity in order to draw the blood into the crevasses of the ritual circle without spilling.

"I, uh, think I'm good, thanks," he winced. "Also, are we sure it's okay for Emperor Nero to know that we're time travellers?"

"Probably not, but it's too late now. Thanks, Mozart," she snapped at the elegantly-garbed man who had quietly followed them into the room.

"Again, my most sincere apologies. She was just so earnest, and, well, everyone knows about Chaldea so I'd rather forgotten that this version of Nero wasn't familiar," the Caster apologetically offered.

"Umu, so you have met other versions of me?" Nero cackled. "I wonder how I compare to the others who call themselves Nero Claudius?"

"Mozart. Please. Stop. Talking," Nikki hissed. She sighed. "I spent a lot of the trip explaining to Nero that the sort of time travel we use is very specific and took thousands of years to get working, and it's highly circumstantial so there's no way she could have people devote the next thousand years to figuring it out and then have them bring it back here to Rome. The whole thing is a non-starter and not worth the trouble,"

"It's a pity, umu," Nero mumbled.

"Wait, but this is a Singularity. Won't she for -"

"Ix-nay on the orget-fay after we tore-resay the gularity-Sinfay!" Nikki commanded.

"Right! Sorry!"

She gritted her teeth. "Let's just get this circus magician performance over with before anyone else can forget that everything about Magecraft is supposed to be secret. Da Vinci, do I need to recite the whole summon chant for this?"

"No, since you're just calling a Servant from here and the things she's carrying. I just have to establish the connection, and -" Suddenly the ritual circle lit up, a nexus of blue magic unfolding before them. "It's working! Now, focus!"

Nikki nodded, placing the hand with her Command Seals on it to the ground and directing her willpower and magic to bring her Servant to her. A warm tingling spread through her magic circuits, and a sudden pressure within herself caused her knees to buckle. She stumbled, dropping to the ground, suddenly feeling like ropes tied to every part of her were dragging her in so many directions as to pull her apart.

A breeze washed through the room from the windows to the door, and a single pink flower petal landed on her hand.

Suddenly the pressure evaporated, and Nikki gasped for breath, straightening up. "That was not supposed to happen," she mumbled, looking up as Spiritrons burst into existence before her, taking the form of a humanoid figure with a large bundle in her arms.

The communicators promptly spilled out of Euryale's hands as her feet hit the ground and she groaned, throwing her arms out to steady herself. "Well, that was unpleasant," she hissed, kneading her temples.

Tyler hastened to their side as both stood back up. "Are you two okay?"

"I'm fine, yeah," Nikki assured him.

"As am I," Euryale agreed. "Perhaps we could avoid making a habit of that in the future, though?"

"Agreed, that was not great," Nikki agreed. "Definitely saving it for emergencies in future,"

A sudden cheer interrupted them, and everyone glared at Nero, who was applauding. "That was spectacular! Encore! Encore!"

X

While the Chaldeans and Romans were getting to know one another, Boudica burst back into the large and grandiose tent that was her right as Queen.

In all honesty, she didn't care for the luxury. It wouldn't help her get her revenge, so what good was it? But her roommate had insisted on adequate lodgings for himself.

"So how did it go?" a bulky man in green, wearing a top hat and with shaggy brown hair asked with a sardonic smile.

"Tch. Those people you warned me about showed up," Boudica grumbled.

Lev Lainur Flauros' smile slipped. "The Chaldeans? Here? How irksome," he growled, then forcibly calmed himself. "No matter. They're insignificant, and shan't be able to stop us from destroying Rome, I'm certain,"

Boudica laughed. "I agree. Actually, I've got some news that I think you'll like. One of the Masters of Chaldea is a self-styled historian with more intelligence than common sense," Boudica told her court wizard as he fiddled with some kind of magecraft beyond her understanding.

Flauros glanced at her, unimpressed. "So what?"

"I threatened them with our enslaved emperors, and he went off on a strange tangent about how this one particular Roman emperor was horrible and dangerous and he was terrified by the very idea of fighting him,"

"You told - ugh. Fine. It does sound like something useful came out of that little indiscretion, so I'll allow it," Flauros glowered. "Still, the idea that we could summon a Heroic Spirit that one of the Chaldeans is specifically afraid of does intrigue me. Tell me, then, who is it?"

"The last emperor of Rome from before the Republic, or something like that," Boudica scoffed, glaring at the green-clad magus for his slight but not voicing her irritation. "What was his name? Um. Tarquinius Super Bus, or something like that,"

"Super Bus. Are you certain," Flauros sarcastically repeated.

"It was something like that, at least!"

"Do you even know what a bus is? Ugh, no, don't answer. Fine. Fortunately, the city of Rome is serving as our catalyst, so I'll give summoning this Tarquinius person a try with our Holy Grail. I doubt anything will come of it, but we don't lose anything and could gain a lot,"

"That's more like it. I'm going to take out some frustration on Caesar, then marshal the troops and talk our other Berserker into joining the assault this time. We attack again at sunset!"

"Good, you do that. I'll try to get you some more aid. With Chaldea reinforcing Rome, it certainly couldn't hurt,"

Chapter Text

Chapter 20: Madness

It wasn't long until the Romans and Chaldeans were mustering for battle once again. The communicators that Da Vinci had made were distributed among the upper echelon of Roman soldiers, and Nikki and Nero agreed that the best strategy was to divide their forces equally between the western and southern gates.

Nikki, incidentally, had thrown a minor fit when she saw the mere five legions that had been assigned to aid her in the defence of the western city gates. "What is this?" she'd demanded. "Where's the rest of the army?!"

"Dead or deserted," Lucius had informed her. "This campaign's been going on for weeks already. They've beaten us back, overwhelmed us, and massacred us. This paltry force is all that's left,"

". . Well, I guess this was always mostly going to come down to the Servants anyway," she mumbled.

So it was that Tyler, with his three Servants in tow and accompanied by Mozart - on the grounds that all three of his Servants were frontline fighters whereas of Nikki's three, Euryale's powers were more suited to supportive combat. As a result, Mozart had been sent to accompany Tyler while Lucius joined Nikki, on the grounds that their forces were best divided through maintaining that same 3:1 ratio.

So, seated at a bench on top of the wall, Servants gathered around him, Tyler settled in for a long night of alertness and playing sentry. After all, the barbarians could attack at any time, and presumably would as soon as they were ready. Indeed, no one had any idea why their assault had halted. He needed to be ready to command his Servants at a moment's notice. In the corner of his eye, he watched the watery red disk that was the sun kiss the horizon and begin to vanish below it.

Then Emperor Nero Claudius, carrying a hunk of meat almost as large as she was, exploded out of the keep and joined them on the wall, declaring, "I have come with a delivery, on behalf of NerOberEats! Hm, no, Ub-ero-Eats! . . Let's just split the difference and call it NeroEats! Umu!"

"Emperor!" The Chaldeans started to their feet. "What are you doing here?" Tyler asked.

"I came to spend some more time with my new friends!" she boisterously declared.

For a long second, the world slowed down as Tyler processed that Nero Claudius, the fifth Emperor of Rome, had casually referred to him as a friend. "O-oh! Sure! Okay!"

Nero faltered, entirely misinterpreting his hesitance, but soldiered on. "You must tell me all about your travels so far! Your adventures! Surely they are the stuff of legend!" she demanded, thinking to herself; I need to know more about these Masters; are they truly kindred spirits or am I just desperate?

"Oh, well, they weren't that amazing -" Tyler started.

Kiyohime intervened. "We met when he heroically and single-handedly saved me from a monstrous demon and his hellish lamentations for his lost lover!"

"That's not what happened," her Master told her.

"Umu! Tell me more!"

So Kiyohime - with Elizabeth listening in, intrigued, and Joan occasionally adding some additional detail that she hadn't been present for with a maliciously playful smile - launched into what, if one was generous, could be considered a vaguely accurate retelling of everything that had happened to them in the Orleans Singularity. With every word she spoke, Tyler's cheeks grew redder and redder and he sunk further and further into his seat.

To hear Kiyohime tell it, he had valiantly defended a helpless damsel from a murderous demon, so impressed the dragon king Fafnir that he had been adopted and thus become prince of all dragons in Europe, tearfully watched his father die and then single-handedly beat the heinous murderer Beowulf into a bloody pulp, rescued Joan from the violent affections of the mad sorcerer-king of octopi, who killed her with his dying breath and forced him to give up the Holy Grail so that she could live again.

It was when Kiyohime concluded, "And in the week since that happened, every night I've shared his bed and enjoyed the most delicious of pleasures -"

"Okay that's enough!" he finally snapped. "None of that happened!"

"Sure it did," Joan playfully interrupted. She focused for a moment, and a powerful radiance erupted from her upper body. "Look, the Grail's still inside me,"

"Well, okay, that was sort of true, but - but - I am not the prince of all the dragons in Europe!"

"Well, I mean, so far as we know, Fafnir was the last dragon in France. And you're definitely the closest thing to an heir he has. So if you wanted to, pretty sure there's nothing stopping you from declaring yourself the king of European dragons," she continued.

"Oh, you absolutely should, umu! Take it from me, no one takes you seriously if you're not a king," Nero assured him.

"Oi, I'm a dragon from Europe!" Elizabeth reminded them.

"And I'm a dragon in Europe, so I count too," Kiyohime nodded. "But Master-sama will always be my king," she assured him, draping herself over Tyler's shoulder.

Elizabeth promptly latched onto his other shoulder. "Yeah, welllllll - same! My royal puppy!"

"Girls!" Tyler protested, still flushing furiously. ". . not in front of the emperor," he whispered.

This, more than anything, was what set Nero off into pearls of laughter. "Oooooooo, mumumumumumumoooo! I was wrong, umu, you're not a kindred spirit. You're even better! A genuine hero, like in the legends! Ahhh, you are absolutely worthy of the love of an emperor!"

"Eh?!" Tyler started. "I - uh - what?!"

"Oh, don't mistake me. The Emperor of Rome would not lower herself to the status of concubine," Nero continued.

"Excuse me?!" Elizabeth snapped.

"Concubine?!" Kiyohime indignantly snapped.

"Ah, emperor, please don't use that word. It's much more offensive in our time than it is in yours," Tyler hastily intervened.

"Ah, my apologies. As I was saying, though, 'tis only right and proper that the Emperor of Rome love all of her people. After all, they all love me so much, how could I not return those sentiments? Umu! All I'm saying is, I feel that you are worthy of receiving that same affection," Nero dramatically flopped onto the battlement, leaning back and gazing wistfully at the upside-down sun. "Even if you're not the sort of person I had hoped for, I still find myself quite satisfied. Ahhhhhh. This has been wonderful,"

"What were you hoping for?" Joan asked.

Nero's smile faded and she sighed again. "I'd rather not sully the mood, but you've shared your story, so it's only fair that I share mine. The life of a hero sounds wonderful, but it's not the life that I was born to lead. No, I was born to be a puppet. My mother dreamed of ruling Rome, so she birthed an heir she hoped to use as a figurehead. Ah, she must have been so disappointed that I wasn't the weak-willed little stooge she desired. Not that it stopped her, of course, she kept trying to influence my decisions. Be a good child, do as mother says, and I'll continue to love you," she mimicked, then spat, a globule of saliva falling past her eyes and onto the ground.

"Eventually I realised she had no love for me, her words were empty and her promises were unkept. So I withdrew my love for her,"

"You killed her," Tyler remembered.

"Yes, but in self-defence!" Nero protested, sitting back up and meeting Tyler's unimpressed gaze. After a long moment, she sighed. "Am I to assume the fact that I tried to have assassinated is common knowledge in the future?"

"Sorry, emperor, but I did originally get this job because I'm a historian," the Master explained.

"Umuuuu," she whined. "Anyway. I said that I love my people, and that's true. I love the plebeians. But the patricians, the noble class? They try to pull my strings, day in and day out. For every five men, one of them thinks they'd make a better emperor than me, and three of the rest support him. I have no love for people like that. Since becoming Emperor, I've divided people into three categories; kings, nobles and plebs. I came to meet you, hoping that I might have finally found someone other than myself to fit into the category of king. But instead I discover that there is a fourth category, and the most fascinating of all; heroes!"

"I . . I'm really not," Tyler weakly protested.

"Oh, but one of the means to identify a true hero is that they never recognise themselves as one," Nero smiled. "That's why I'm a king, after all. I understand my greatness and revel in it, so I don't count!"

"Well. I think you do," he mumbled.

"Oh? And why's that?"

Tyler hummed. ". . Ah, screw it, you already know far too much about the future, one more little spoiler couldn't hurt. Of all the Roman emperors, you're the most famous. Right up there with Julius Caesar, and Romulus. When the average person thinks of Roman emperors, they think Nero and Caligula. In that order, and none of the others come close. Of all your predecessors and successors, no one else from now until the fall of Rome makes quite as much of a mark as you,"

The widest smile imaginable split Nero's face as she processed this, and it might have been his imagination but he thought minute tears welled in his eyes. "Is that so? Oh . . thank you. I can't imagine a single other thing you could have said that would have made me as happy as I am to hear that. From anyone else, I would consider it just empty flattery, or delusion. But from a hero," she offered him a more genuine smile. "I'll accept it as the plain truth,"

Meanwhile, over to the side, Elizabeth whispered to Joan, "So does he just have special philosophical conversations with every woman he meets?"

"Mm-hm. And he claims to be socially awkward," she scoffed.

"Aw. And I thought I was special," she whined.

"Oh, you are. Look, the way he talks, I'm pretty sure us at Chaldea are his only friends in the world. So as far as he's concerned, everyone who gives him the time of day is special,"

". . We need to raise his standards," Elizabeth resolved.

"Already working on it," Joan assured her.

For a moment, all fell silent as the last rays of sunlight faded and the stars began to emerge from the sky. Tyler idly glanced upwards at the mysterious ring of light that floated in the air above them. It appeared to be a staple of Singularities.

A distant roar stirred him, and he noticed motion in the distance. "Uh," he began, only to find the Servants were already standing and preparing for battle.

Nero was barking orders down at the troops. "Man your stations, men! Prepare the defences! Load the ballistae! And someone find that unreliable musician!"

"Right," Tyler turned on his communicator and dialled the other Master. "Hey, Nikki? Looks like the barbarians are attacking us here at the south. I'd appreciate you coming to reinforce us!"

"They are? Damn, got it. Will do . . wait, what's that? There's someone . . oh, shit, he's huge! Everyone! We've got incoming! He's a Servant, no normal person looks like that - we'll be there as soon as we can! You might have to hold out for a bit!"

The line went dead, and Tyler grimaced. "It looks like we're being caught in a pincer manoeuvre," he told the Servants.

"Doesn't surprise me. One Servant is the equal of any army. I suspect she's sent a couple there to keep the rest of our forces tied up, while the main force attacks here to overwhelm our defence," Joan groused.

"Servants are the equivalent of an army, huh?" Tyler mused. "Doesn't that mean we should go down there and turn this whole thing into Hyrule Warriors?"

He received several blank looks in response, and pursed his lips as he resolved; "Video games. Teach, my Servants, about video games. It's a game where you're a ridiculously powerful hero who can swing his sword and kill dozens of enemies in one hit. I'm saying if we're so much stronger than them, go down there and kick ass until they turn around,"

"Master, leave the tactics to Nikki. I'm sure there are Servants in that rabble," Joan pointed out. "We're better off using the defensive fortifications, and anyone can be overrun or worn down eventually. It'll take longer since we're waiting for them to come to us, but it's safer,"

". . right. Sorry," he mumbled.

"There's also the fact that charging in would be working at cross-purposes with our repulsion strategy," Nero added, gesturing to the catapults behind the walls.

"Oh, yeah, I meant to ask. I understand catapults as siege warfare, but against an army? Is throwing rocks really going to help?"

"Umu, no, probably not," Nero waved her hand, and the soldiers manning the weapons touched flaming torches to each payload, before firing and sending a volley of projectiles over the wall and towards the army. "That's why we're using flaming oil!"

The blood drained from Tyler's face as the projectiles exploded on impact, sending the barbarians caught crashing to the ground, their now-oily furs and leathers catching ablaze. He could hear the screaming from the wall. "That . . I feel like that should be a war crime,"

"There are no crimes in war," Joan assured him.

Kiyohime nodded agreement. "Yup! All's fair in love and war!"

"Time for you melee combatants to head down," Nero gestured to the ladder. "Mozart should be joining me in a minute, we'll protect your Master. And if Caligula, or any other Roman emperor appears, shout for me. I want to take them on in person,"

With various noises of affirmation, the Chaldean Servants went to join the legion. In the distance, Tyler could see Mozart hurrying towards them from the direction of the nearest pub, and he glanced at Nero. "So, now what?"

"Now, hero," Nero offered him a toothy smile, "I teach you how to be a king,"

". . . I am going to be the most overqualified historian ever by the end of this, aren't I?"

Joan, who was still within earshot, laughed and yelled back at him, "Haha, you only just realised that?!"

X

As the horde bore down on the southern gate of Rome, Nikki answered her communicator. "Hey, Nikki?" Tyler addressed her. "Looks like the barbarians are attacking us here at the south. I'd appreciate you coming to reinforce us!"

"Will do," Nikki nodded, then noticed something in the distance; a humanoid figure approaching them from the direction of the barbarians' camp. "Wait, what's that? There's someone," She squinted, and as her eyes adjusted to the fading light, realised just how large he was as he passed a nearby tree. "Oh, shit, he's huge! Everyone! We've got incoming! He's a Servant, no normal person looks like that - we'll be there as soon as we can! You might have to hold out for a bit!" she yelled at Tyler and turned off the device. "Is that . . Heracles?" she breathed in dismay.

"No. I'll admit there's a resemblance, but this one's blonde," Euryale, who as an Archer had better eyesight, informed her. "It can't be him,"

Squinting, Nikki could indeed make out a yellow splodge on top of the newcomer's head. "Phew. Maybe someone related to him? Were there any Roman heroes who claimed descent from Heracles?"

"Everyone and their mother would have loved to. This is Heracles we're talking about," Lucius pointed out. "But almost all of the Roman heroes distinguish themselves on their own merits enough that they wouldn't define themselves merely as 'child of Heracles'. I suspect what we're looking at is . . what's the modern term? Hm,"

"An impostor?" Nikki guessed.

"A fanboy," Lucius corrected her with a slight chuckle.

Altria couldn't help but laugh at the suggestion. "Well, even if he's a knockoff, he's worth taking seriously. I bet he's here to distract us while the rest of the enemies attack the South Gate. So if we're gonna go help them, we need to put him down, fast. Knowing that, there's no reason to wait here, right? Long face, with me!" she commanded, leaping off the wall and going to meet him.

Nikki grumbles, but didn't fault her logic. "Euryale, Nobunaga, stay here and provide fire support. Lucius, help me get down, let's go and help her,"

"Should you really be taking the field, Master?" the Lancer asked, concerned.

"Hey, I'm no Servant, but I know my Magecraft. What kind of leader just stands back and watches?" she retorted.

"The kind who stays alive," Euryale interrupted, grabbing her wrist. "I'm not going to let you run off and get killed, Master. I've got a good thing going here at Chaldea, and that would ruin it,"

"She's not wrong. Stay here with us, Master," Nobunaga agreed.

Nikki grumbled. "Oh, alright, fine," Permission granted, Lucius leapt off the wall and went to join Altria.

As this was happening, a confrontation brewed. "Oi!" Altria barked, drawing to a halt in front of the approaching Berserker, who obligingly stopped before her. "You're with Boudicca and her lot, aren't you?"

For a moment, the Servant was silent.

"Are you the kind of Berserker who can't talk?" Altria demanded.

"No!" he suddenly declared.

". . Is that 'no, I can't talk' or 'no, I'm not with Boudica'?" she frowned.

"No, I rebel against your punitive yes-or-no questions and their attempts to force people into a false dichotomy!" the Berserker bellowed, jabbing a finger the size of a railroad spike at her.

This, unfortunately, only made Altria more confused. "How about you just tell me who you are and what you want?" she finally settled on.

"If that is what an oppressor such as yourself would desire, I will do no such thing!" the grey Servant continued.

"Oppressor?" Altria considered the word. "Huh. Yeah, I guess,"

"Ha! You admit it!" The Berserker sounded inordinately pleased about that, for some reason. "Then it is my right and duty to destroy you!" he roared, bringing up his club and swinging it down towards her with the force of a battering ram.

"Wha - shit!" Altria parried the blow, matching her strength with the enemy's, and though her feet skidded back and left grooves in the ground, she held firm.

Then Lucius was there, leaping over her and stabbing at the goliath's neck. "We don't have time to faff around!" he indignantly roared.

The spear bit into their opponent's neck, and he twisted as he hit the ground, opening a massive hole in the wake of his speartip. However, to their horror, even as blood seeped out the wound began to heal over and seal itself up before their eyes.

"Okay, what the hell?" Altria demanded.

"Hah! My rebellion is unbridled and unstoppable! You are only adding fuel to the fire that will consume all oppressors!"

"What are you rebelling so ferociously against, anyway?" the Lancer pressed.

"You! And everything that you represent!" Berserker bellowed, refocusing on him.

Lucius just tilted his head in confusion. ". . You're rebelling against the idea that an ordinary man can become significant through chance contact with the Messiah?"

This gave the man pause. "Huh? No! I'm rebelling against Rome! Just as I did in life, with a rebel army of freed slaves! I will overturn this nation of oppressors!"

"Ah, I see. In that case, I know who you are," the Lancer determined. "You are Spartacus, the gladiator, are you not?"

"I rebel against the oppression of being defined by a single name!" Spartacus bellowed and brought his club down on him.

Dancing back, Lucius made an irritated noise. "So we're doing this after all, then,"

"Hah, as if there was any other way!" Altria darted past Spartacus' guard and buried Excalibur in his guts, withdrawing it almost as quickly and narrowly avoiding a return strike from his free hand. The would began to seal itself up as soon as the sword was removed, but the tip of Lucius' spear found it and extended it into a wide gash around his hip.

In an unspoken agreement, Altria remained on Spartacus' left, while Lucius stayed on his right, leaving his centre mass open for ranged assaults from Nobunaga and Euryale. The Lancer's superior mobility kept him from being struck by the Berserker's club, and even though Altria was by comparison mediocre at dodging her natural sturdiness let her tank whatever hits Spartacus managed to land with his free hand.

After a few moments of this one-sided back-and-forth, Spartacus bellowed in frustration and decided to reprioritise; ignoring Lucius in favour of bringing his sword across in a horizontal sweep. He caught Altria in the gut and sent her staggering to the ground, then used the reprieve to step back and twist his body, using his arms as a bludgeon to land a blow that Lucius couldn't dodge. Thus freed from the deadlock, Spartacus turned again, bringing his club back like a wrecking ball to crush Altria into the ground.

Watching her allies collapse, Nikki gritted her teeth. Nobunaga and Euryale opened fire, but their attacks went ignored. They needed something stronger. Fortunately for her first recruited Servant, she'd preemptively made a plan for this.

"Hey, Spartacus! Eat this!" the Master bellowed and pulled the trigger on the ballista.

The massive shaft of wood rocketed across the space between them and slammed into Spartacus' chest. He staggered, staring at it in surprise, then ripped it out of his body, ignoring the way it exacerbated the half-healed hole made by Excalibur, and looked up at her. Altria fell out of his mind as he focused on the new threat. "This weapon of oppression is nothing against my rebellion!" he bellowed, charging at her.

"Yeah, well - well you're oppressing my right to fire ballista bolts at people!" Nikki bellowed.

Spartacus skidded to a halt, suddenly frowning furiously. The Master stared at him for a second, feeling as though she could hear the gears turning in his head. Had that actually worked?

"You're fighting on behalf of the oppressors!" she continued. "By waging war against us, you're oppressing human history's right to exist!"

He paused, leering at her. "Prove it," Spartacus demanded.

"W-what do you mean, prove it? Do you not know that the world's been incinerated in my time because of the distortions in history that these Singularities are causing?"

"That doesn't make sense, though," Spartacus rumbled. "Why would changing the past lead to fire?"

"That - um," Nikki paused, because she realised she didn't know. The Singularities were distortions in the foundation of human civilisation. The burning hellscape of Fuyuki was etched into her memory, but why was that the outcome? Altria had said as much; she didn't start the fires. So who had? "I . . don't know," she realised.

"So you admit your oppression through falsehood! My rebellion is just and righteous, I will purge from history the Roman oppression and begin a timeline of freedom!"

"What about your allies?!" Nonunaga chimed in. "Aren't they oppressing the Roman people through fear and death?"

"Oppressors cannot complain about turnabout! If you would condone oppressive behaviour, you forfeit the right to rebel when it is turned on you!" Spartacus retorted with surprising eloquence.

Then he stumbled as Excalibur buried itself in his back.

"Quit trying to reason with the Berserker! Madness Enhancement doesn't stop just because he can talk!" Altria huffed, idly grumbling, "Am I the only one here who understands Berserkers at all?"

The Servants continued to trade blows, both sides slowly wearing down the other's defences. To the Chaldeans' frustration, though, Spartacus' healing abilities meant that they were losing the fight of attrition.

Lucius' spear cut a hole in Spartacus' hip, eliciting a bellow of pain. "Oppressor! You will not overcome my rebellion!" the Berserker bellowed, counterattacking just a little faster than the Roman had expected and sending him sprawling into the dirt again.

As Altria occupied his attention once again, Lucius looked back at the two of them, and squinted. No, it wasn't his imagination. Spartacus was moving noticeably faster than he had been at the beginning of the fight.

"Wait!" Lucius suddenly commanded.

"What? Why?" Altria demanded.

"Can't you feel it? The longer we fight, his magical energy is slowly increasing! He's not getting weaker as we wear him down, he's ramping up!"

"What?!" Altria paused for a second and reached out with her senses. "Shit! You're right!"

"That means the two of us can't win this fight," Lucius grimaced.

"Yeah, no, fuck that! Vortigern, hammer of the vile king, reverse the rising sun! Sword of Promised Victory: Excalibur Morgan!" Altria brought her sword down and a pillar of red and black energy bathed Spartacus' chest, sending him flying away.

For a second they watched, waiting to see if he would get back up.

With a furious roar, Spartacus threw himself back to his feet, the wounds healing over before their eyes, and charged at them.

As Excalibur's blade met his club and Altria barely braced herself enough to keep from being sent flying, she growled, "I'm starting to see your point!"

"Yeah, shit. This ain't looking good. Thoughts, Master?"

"I, um," Nikki floundered for a moment. "How are we supposed to defeat a Servant who just heals from everything? That shouldn't be possible! He's need so much prana to fuel his abilities - prana! What's his power source? We need to figure out where he's getting his strength!"

"You know," Euryale conversationally mused, "it might be just me but it did look like he got noticeably stronger after being blasted by Excalibur,"

Nikki processed this. "No way," she mumbled. "Is that even - he's a Servant, of course it's possible. Nobunaga, hold your fire. Altria! Lucius!"

"What?!" her Servant hollered back.

"Stop hitting him!"

The command was so absurd that Altria actually paused, and narrowly avoided being decapitated for her trouble. "Master have you lost your mind?!" she demanded in response to that inane command.

"We think he has some kind of ability that converts damage taken into magic energy! That combined with his healing means that you're just making him stronger with every blow! We need to let him tire himself out!"

"Do you have any idea how long that's going to take?" the King of Knights indignantly hollered.

"Less time than defeating him the old-fashioned way," Lucius countered.

"REBELLION!" Spartacus bellowed, forcing them to fly apart as he drove a double-handed blow at them.

"So we need a way to incapacitate him without hurting him," Mobunaga surmised.

Nikki nodded thoughtfully, then remembered why she'd requested Euryale be the one to deliver the communicator and resources to them. "I think it's time for Plan E!"

"Master, my charm can't hold someone under my control for more than a few minutes," the gorgon reminded her.

She grimaced at the reminder. "Altria! Can you get a bead on his Spirit Core? If you had an opening, could you destroy it?!" she yelled.

"No dice! He's too damn tough!" the Saber hollered in response.

Lucius slid away from another heavy blow. "My Noble Phantasm can, if you give me an opening!"

"That's the plan, then. Go with Plan E, get Lucius his opening," Nikki instructed.

Altria, having overheard them, slid to the right and directed Spartacus towards the wall. "Take the shot!"

"Goddess' Gaze: Eye of the Euryale!" She declared, loosing an arrow from her bow and letting it soar in a circular motion from the wall, whistling past Altria and biting into Spartacus' ribs

Spartacus screamed. "No! I rebel against this! I will not be oppressed by love for . ." He faltered, hearts appearing in his eyes. "Euryale . ."

"How does a Berserker have suck strong willpower?!" the Archer spluttered. "Attack! This won't last!"

"As you wish," Lucius and Altria traded places, and the legionnaire Lancer leapt into the air, his spear lighting up with magic. "Spear of Destiny: Longinus!"

The legend of Lucius Longinus was a minor one, and only tangentially related to Rome at all. He was remembered primarily for one event; when Jesus, the Christian Messiah, died on the cross, Lucius was the man who had driven his spear into the side of the Messiah to confirm his death. As such, his spear was conceptually anointed with holy blood.

And his Noble Phantasm was a crystallisation of the concept of 'ensuring that someone would die'.

It was what could be referred to as an 'execution' attack, that increased in power based on how much damage its target had already sustained. Under most circumstances, it was a highly circumstantial attack. But against a Servant with the regenerative powers of Spartacus, it was the perfect counter.

A phantasmal cross erupted from the ground, its arms catching Spartacus' wrists and forcing them into the air, exposing the side of his torso. Lucius' bloodied spear parted Spartacus' flesh at his hip, going in upwards at an angle, sliding beneath his ribs and reducing his internal organs to pulp. Already, though, the wound was starting to heal over, so Lucius twisted the spear and his blade found Spartacus' Spirit Core.

Spartacus choked. "You . . oppressor," he hissed, doubling over as the cross vanished and Lucius' spear came free of his guts.

"You're right," Lucius told him. "Roman history is a history of oppression. Someone like me, in particular, doesn't deserve to be called a hero," He hefted his bloody spear. "But for the sake of all the people living today and tomorrow, I will be the oppressor who destroys your rebellion, so that the people behind me may continue to live,"

Excalibur slapped the protesting Berserker's head into the ground, muffling his complaints as he began to discorporate. Altria smiled and clapped him on the back. "Well said. But don't get too sappy on us, okay?"

"Rest assured, I do not want for conviction," Lucius promised her. "Our cause is righteous, and I will not hear otherwise. It's simply that I cannot deny his own cause to be equally valid, even if it was ultimately futile,"

"Yeah," Altria nodded in commiseration. "But them's the breaks sometimes, I guess,"

X

Meanwhile, the fighting had been raging on at the southern gate. Fortunately for Chaldea, the advantages of well-trained, disciplined soldiers, defensive fortifications, Servants leading the charge and Mozart casting enhancement magic from the rear, made for an impressively effective defence.

"You know, I specifically remember that the Romans defeated Boudica's barbarians through military strategy and formations. And looking at this fight, I can see why. How did things get so bad for Rome, anyway?" Tyler asked.

"You underestimate how much of a force multiplier these Servants can be," Nero growled. "One Servant is enough to punch a hole in a shield wall. Then the enemies stream in through the gap in the shields and slaughter my people before they can regroup. They move fast, too,"

"Yes, it's rather vexing," Mozart chimed in. "I suspect that barbarian queen has some kind of ability to enhance the people that support her,"

Nodding as he considered this, Tyler suddenly started. "Actually - hey! We're in the middle of the Roman Empire. Britain's probably beyond the boundary of this Singularity. Where did she get an army of Iceni barbarians anyway?"

With a grumble, Nero was reluctantly forced to admit, "I don't know,"

"It's hardly the strangest thing to ever transpire in a Singularity," Mozart mumbled.

"Well, thar's not good enough for me. Dr. Roman? Da Vinci?" Tyler activated his communicator, dialling Chaldea. "Can you tell us anything about these enemy soldiers?"

"Congratulations on remembering to ask," Da Vinci semi-seriously chuckled. "I'm not fully certain, but I can tell that there are traces of spiritrons on all of the barbarian warriors. They're not Servants, but they're not normal humans either. Boudica was famous for commanding an army of ten thousand at the height of her revolution against Rome, it's possible that she has a Noble Phantasm that lets her recreate her army. The energy cost would no doubt be prohibitive, of course, but since she almost definitely has the Holy Grail in her possession I doubt that's anything more than an inconvenience for her,"

"Have you detected any sign of the Grail?" Tyler felt he should check, just while the topic was at hand.

"No, I haven't, which is annoying. I'm trying to upgrade the system so that we won't get spoofed again by someone like Gilles, but I don't have enough materials. I'm sure that I'd have defected it if you'd been anywhere near it, though, so it must be secreted away somewhere in the barbarians' camp," she shrugged apologetically, then started as a blip appeared on the screen. "Nevermind that, though! You have a Berserker-class Spirit Origin incoming at high speed! The readings match the fight earlier -"

But Tyler had stopped listening, instead rushing to the edge of the wall and yelling, "Incoming! Caligula!"

Elizabeth and Kiyohime had just enough time to disengage from the fight and retreat behind the shield wall that Joan was taking the lead on before Caligula landed before them in a meteoric impact, hitting the ground with enough force that a crater appeared around him. "NEROOOOOOO!" he bellowed.

Nero joined Tyler on the edge of the wall and yelled in turn; "I'm up here, uncle! Come and get me!"

Growling, slavering, the former Emperor picked himself up and a corona of power surged from his being. "O moon," he hissed, and pearly white magic shone around him. "O moon . . curse me,"

"What's he doing?" Kiyohime growled. "Wait, it doesn't matter," she resolved, flames erupting around her as she prepared to launch her Noble Phantasm.

"Devour my soul, Moonlight: Flucticulus Diana!" Caligula demanded, and suddenly the final rays of the setting sun were gone. Before their eyes, the distant crescent moon was replaced with one unnaturally large and perfectly round that shone down from the sky above them. A pearly corona bathed everyone present.

The flames died in Kiyohime's hands. "Samadhi Through Flame!" she roared, to no effect. ". . Huh? Where's my fire?"

"Ugh, I feel dizzy. What's up with that moon?" Elizabeth groaned, stumbling a bit and digging her microphone-spear into the ground for balance. "It . . makes me . . want blood," she mumbled, a strange light entering her eyes, before she processed what she'd just said and froze, her tail stiffening. "Wait, no, that's not who I am! I'm an idol! An idol!" she shrieked.

"Idol?" Kiyohime mumbled, the moonlight playing across her face. "Idol. My idol. My . . one and only . . Anchin!" she suddenly shrieked, leaping into the air and entirely forgetting the ongoing battle as she single-mindedly targeted Tyler.

Unfortunately, the Master was having problems of his own. The moonlight had awakened something he'd forgotten was buried in the bottom of his mind; the greed. "I," he mumbled, "I need to make it mine. It should all be mine! . . What should?"

"Anchin-sama!" Kiyohime shrieked and tackled him.

"Kiyo?" Tyler mumbled, as two pairs of eyes clouded by madness met. "You. You're mine, aren't you?"

"Yes! All of my love is for you, Anchin-sama!" the greenette promised him, tucking her head under his chin and pressing herself against him in a shocking display of intimacy.

"Love. Yeah, yeah that's it. All of the love in the world is mine!" Tyler roared, flame of his own emerging from his lips at the declaration.

Nero watched this, consternation etched into her face. "What in the heck is going on?" A beeping came from her wrist, and, peering at the communicator she'd been provided with, she recalled how the Chaldeans operated theirs and pressed a button.

Da Vinci's face appeared. "Oh thank goodness. We've got trouble!"

Glancing back in the direction of her Roman soldiers, Nero grimaced. All cohesion in the ranks had broken down, and whatever strange effect the moonlight produced had engendered infighting among the ranks. As she watched, one of her soldiers was beating his friend around the head with his shield while raving about how he wouldn't let anyone else seduce his wife. "That's quite apparent. What's happening?"

"Moon madness. The legend of Caligula tells that -"

"The goddess Diana favoured him with a blessing that drove him insane. I know full well, I watched it happen," Nero reminded her. "Are you saying he's somehow spread this insanity among everyone in the vicinity?"

"It seems that way. What an awful Noble Phantasm," Da Vinci whistled through her teeth. "If anything, I'm amazed that you don't seem affected,"

Looking at the situation on both sides of the wall, Nero was brought to the sobering realisation that the only reason the barbarians weren't storming Rome as she spoke was that Flucticulus Diana was affecting their enemies just as much as them. "How do we stop it?!"

"Defeat Caligula!"

"Oh, it's that simple? Umu!" Nero smiled. "I can do that!"

Meanwhile, Tyler had dragged Kiyohime back down to the battlefield despite her attempts to molest him, where they found Elizabeth curled up in a ball and whimpering to herself while Joan brawled with Caligula. "I'm a mmmmmmonsteeeeer," she whimpered.

Tyler crouched and wrapped an arm around her. "You're mine," he corrected her.

"B-b-but I'm a horrible, ugly thing who can't stop thinking about bloooooood," the Lancer whimpered.

"That doesn't mean that you aren't mine," Tyler countered in what to his addled mind seemed like an entirely reasonable argument.

"Stop arguing with Anchin-sama!" Kiyohime snapped. "Wait. Anchin! Why are you paying attention to this other girl! I'm the only one you need!"

"Because you're both mine," he reasoned.

"You're pretty," Elizabeth suddenly told her Berserker rival, causing her deranged protests to die on her lips. "Can I bathe in your blood?"

This was a statement that anyone would be hard-pressed to respond to no matter how lucid they were, so Kiyohime could perhaps be forgiven for merely responding with an "Umm,"

"Would you all quit bickering! You're giving me a headache!" Joan suddenly bellowed in their direction. Contrary to Kiyohime's frenzied love, Tyler's greed and Elizabeth's internal war between self-loathing and repressed vampiric nature, Joan was dealing with something simple but still somewhat foreign; anger.

Indeed, perhaps it was the lingering influence of Gilles de Rais' idea of 'who Jeanne d'Arc should be', frustration at her own relative impotence as a Servant who lacked a Noble Phantasm, or even losing Tyler's affection to two Servants who'd known him for less time, but the mental corruption had brought to the surface the overwhelming anger that Joan had been repressing. Fortunately for Rome, Chaldea and all of Human History, there was a very obvious target right in front of her.

And so it was that Caligula, rather than charging into Rome with a trail of madness and destruction in his wake, found himself fighting for his life against a Holy Grail-fuelled imitation Servant who was taking out her entire existence's worth of pent-up frustration on him. Fighting like a dervish, the bladed flagpole had already cut bloody gashes into his exposed skin, and though he landed explosive magical punches in turn they barely seemed to slow the Ruler down.

"Joan!" She paused, hearing her Master cry out to her. "You're mine too!" Tyler insisted, heedless of the fact that two dragons were using his body as a battlefield to wage a war that the other lacked the lucidity to understand.

Joan stopped dead for a moment, then rounded on him. Caligula's fist struck her gut and sent her skidding, but she ignored the blow, having entirely forgotten about the battle. "You're really gonna say crap like that to me now, Tyler? When those two skanks are crawling all over you? How dare you suddenly pay attention to me now! You useless, incompetent Master who can't even see how amazing he is!"

"If you love me then you're mine!" her Master insisted, trying to move closer but weighed down by the two girls already clinging to him.

"This has gone far enough!" The irrelevant voice has enough Imperial Privilege behind it to draw all attention to the red-clad figure looming over them from the battlements of the gatehouse.

"Oi, uncle!" Caligula's eyes darted in Nero's direction, but he was barely able to react as Nero leapt from the battlements and landed in the midst of the berserk barbarians directly behind him, squaring off with her uncle as he turned to face her.

The enemy chaff made to attack her, but her plan went into action too quickly for them to land more than superficial blows. "Now, it's my turn!" With that, she reversed her grip on her sword and slammed it into the ground. As she did, a tangible, visible corona of power radiated around her, a brilliant golden magic circle filled with spiralling Latin letters and numerals twisted into existence around her, and she chanted, "Behold my glory!"

The word around them twisted, dirt, grass and fortifications being overwritten and replaced with ornate, gilded stone that shifted the maddened fighters of the Roman and barbarian armies around, forming concentric circles as she continued, "Hear the thunderous applause!"

The twisting world resolved into seats that initially made Tyler think of the Colosseum, even as his perspective shifted around him and he was transported into an elevated box from which he had a spectacular view of the forming arena. But it only took a second to realise he was wrong, because Nero continued, "Sit down and praise my Golden Theatre!"

And they were seated, every combatant's fight put on hold as they were locked into a chair and excluded. Tyler's Servants appeared around him, not excluded from the effect; indeed, the only combatants present within the arena at the centre of the Golden Theatre were Nero herself and Caligula. "Kingdom of Heaven and Hell, my heaven reconstructed!" Nero chanted as the ceiling sealed itself up, blocking out the baleful light of the moon and replacing it with a magic spotlight that shone a pillar of light down around Nero. "This is where the limelight shines!

Around the theatre, the frenzied motions of madness slowed, as people slowly regained their senses.

"Wha, what," Tyler mumbled as Kiyohime continued to cling to his arm.

"Why am I so angry?" Joan breathed, wresting back control of her emotions and forcing herself to calm down.

Elizabeth released a muffled whimper.

Down in the arena, Nero levelled her sword at Caligula. "Uncle," she greeted him.

". . Nero," he returned the greeting.

"You know what I have to do. For the good of Rome," Nero told him.

He didn't respond verbally, but nodded. The collar around his neck glowed green, but, gritting his teeth, Caligula spread his arms and presented his own chest.

"Imperium of the Maiden's Flowery Words: Laus Saint Claudius," Nero barely breathed as she dashed forwards, leaving rose petals in her wake, sliding straight past her uncle.

She didn't watch as his chest caved in, as he fell to the ground, as petals manifested by her technique were scattered around him. "Requiescat in pace," Nero just pursed her lips as her uncle's body began to dissolve into Spiritrons.

She turned and looked around at the barbarians that had filled the stands, then she swung her sword with all the power she could muster. Waves of wind that bore more petals flew in every direction, ripping bloody gashes into the bodies of every barbarian within line of sight. One after the other they died, in a brutal symphony that drove her to her knees from both exhaustion and frustration at this necessary perversion of her Golden Theatre.

For a moment, everything was golden light, and then the Chaldeans were deposited back on the ground, the Roman soldiers landing in a heap behind them.

"Okay. Okay. Um. What happened?" Tyler demanded.

"Caligula's Noble Phantasm seems to drive anyone exposed to it to insanity," Da Vinci reported. "It seems to affect each individual differently,"

"Relatedly, Joan, I'm going to schedule you an appointment with me when you get back about anger management," Dr. Roman interjected. The platinum blonde Ruler huffed but couldn't argue.

A quiet sniff drew their attention, and Tyler turned to look at his most recent recruit. "Elizabeth?" His breath caught.

Fresh, wet blood was staining her fingers and her mouth. The Countess of Blood stared at herself in horror, eyes dancing between her own fingers and a set of deep, bloody scratches on Kiyohime's right arm.

At approximately the same moment, Kiyohime noticed that she'd been injured, and involuntarily flinched. "Ouch!"

This was the moment that broke the dam, and once again Elizabeth withdrew into the fetal position and started sobbing.

"Hey. Hey. It's okay. You weren't in control of yourself. None of us were. No one's going to blame you," Tyler promised her, moving closer and wrapping his arms around her.

"B-b-but . . why does it feel so goooooood?" Elizabeth demanded through mascara that ran with tears. Tyler had no response to this, and before he could formulate one, Kiyohime joined them, gently rubbing the back of her neck.

"You know, it's okay," the Japanese dragon murmured.

"Kiyo," Tyler warned her, but she cast him a look in turn.

"We're all monsters here. You like blood? I like burning people. Joan's a mad fantasy come to life. And Master? He's the one who still thinks we deserve love,"

Elizabeth paused and looked up, squinting suspiciously at Kiyohime. ". . Oi. You hate me. What's your game?

The Berserker paused, biting her lip. ". . I started calling Master Anchin while mad and he doesn't want that so if that hurt him then maybe my other behaviour hurts him too and I don't ever want to hurt Master-sama - oop, sorry - so I kinda feel like it'd be smart to reevaluate some of my other behaviour, and he doesn't like it when I'm rude to you either so . ." She trailed off, looking at Tyler for approval, and let out a small, delighted squee upon seeing him smiling at her, so she continued. "That may have been insanity driving us, but it was still us. You heard him, he wants love too. So are we going to let him have it?"

"Uh, what? H-Hang on. That was -"

"Anything for my number one fan!" Elizabeth agreed, and suddenly Tyler was being tackle hugged by dragons again.

As they did, Joan watched, trying not to let her jealousy show on her face. Footsteps provided a welcome distraction, and she wheeled to see a battered, dirtied Mozart trooping up to them. "And where were you?"

"Conducting nightmares. I'm not fully sure what happened, but it was thoroughly unpleasant," Mozart reported.

"Ugh. Are all male Casters useless?" Joan scoffed, looking despite herself back at her Master.

". . I mean. I absolutely love him more," Kiyo mumbled.

"That's fine because obviously he loves me more!" Elizabeth shrilly retorted.

"Why you -!"

Chapter Text

Nero staggered back towards Tyler's group, looking limo and haggard, her sword repurposed as a walking stick. "That," she heaved a ragged breath. "Was. Thrilling,"

"Emperor!" Tyler started towards her. "Are you - what happened?"

"Umu!" she giggled weakly. "I think I overdid it a bit!"

"Can't argue with results," Joan wrapped an arm around her shoulders and supported the Emperor. "Come on. Stand up straight. Lean on me, but subtly. Let your people see that you aren't bothered at all,"

"Ah, don't worry, my people all love me!" Nero bruised her off. "I think I need some rest though," She looked around at the battered Chaldeans. "Actually, maybe we all do, umu. Mozart!" She threw the composer her communicator. "You're on watch duty. Everyone else, I hereby declare that we . . that we," She trailed off, head tipping back, and ended the sentence with a snore, slumping against Joan's shoulders.

"How about we go back to that empty house and rest," Joan 'suggested' in a tone that brooked no room for argument. "I think we all need it,"

"T-there's a bath there, right?" Elizabeth pressed, trying not to look at her bloody fingers.

"Don't worry, any good Roman domus has an impluvium that feeds into a cistern, you'll be fine," Tyler assured her, already following in Joan's wake.

". . A what?"

"A water reservoir, fed by rainwater. Am I the only one here who studied Roman architecture?"

"Fourteenth-century French farmer's daughter," Joan reminded them over her shoulder.

"Japanese daughter of a minor landlord," Kiyohime weighed in.

"Hungarian, and history was never my thing," Elizabeth apologetically explained.

"Emperor of Rome!" Nero suddenly crowed. "Since, we're doing . . a thing," she mumbled and drifted back into dreamland.

". . As long as this dome house has beds, I think we'll be fine,"

As they kept walking, Tyler fell into step with Elizabeth and fished something out of his pocket. "Hey, by the way. Since you look like you need something to take your mind off . . all that. Here,"

She quirked an eyebrow and accepted the small device, as well as a wire leading to a pair of small plastic nubs. "What's this?"

"My smartphone and earbuds. I asked Da Vinci to put it in with the communicators when she sent Euryale. I left it in Chaldea because, this is Rome, it's likely to get broken and I can't charge it anyway. It's sort of useless, but it does have a lot of the music I like downloaded on it, and you can put these in your ears to listen to the songs. I just thought it might give you some ideas, is all,"

Elizabeth accepted it, smiling and clutching it to her chest.

"Um, my tastes are a bit niche, so you probably shouldn't pay too much attention to them. It's mostly anime themes. Oh, and, uh, don't get it wet, that'll damage it. Though I guess Da Vinci could probably fix it if it does. And the battery's going to run out eventually so you'll have to wait until we're back in Chaldea once that happens -"

He was cut off by Elizabeth hugging him, even as dust and blood was transferred from her clothes to his. "Don't worry about any of that. I'm just happy you're willing to trust me with this,"

X

"Hang on, what?!" Nikki spluttered. "Nero used a Noble Phantasm. The living Emperor Nero. How?!"

"I have no idea but it was awesome," Tyler assured her.

With the latest assault repelled, everyone agreed that it would take at least a day for Boudica to muster her men for another offensive - since Caligula and Nero had between them ensured barely any of the invaders had survived - and thus they felt relatively secure in leaving Mozart and Nobunaga watching the gates. Lucius had peeled off to help rally the troops that had been affected by Flucticulus Diana, and Euryale had, on principle, dragged Elizabeth away to the bathhouse to properly get clean without contaminating their house's supply of drinking water. ("You were really going to let your Servant bathe in our drinking water?" Nikki had demanded.) Altria had remained with Nikki, just in case Boudica had an Assassin on her payroll, Kiyohime did the same with Tyler and no one expected anything else. Joan and Nero both were resting - the former mostly suffering from mental fatigue - which left the two Masters of Chaldea to catch up and compare notes.

"Awesome hardly begins to cover it! What you're saying she did sounds an awful lot like a Reality Marble!" Nikki all but floundered from sheer disbelief.

"What's that?"

"Right, magical novice. A Reality Marble is one of the most absurdly potent types of magecraft known to man, a sort of materialisation of one's own inner world, temporarily overwriting reality with a more advantageous situation. It's something so incredibly complicated and power-intensive that most Servants aren't capable of it. Nevermind a human magus!" Nikki paused. "Though, I suppose that's true of the modern world, whereas we're less than a century removed from the BC era in this place and time. Depending on where you are and who you ask, the Age of Gods hasn't even fully ended yet," she mused with a grimace. "I guess if we were going to find a human capable of using a Reality Marble anywhere, it'd be here and now,"

"That sounds absolutely incredible," Tyler breathed.

"It is, but there's no way you or I could ever use something like a Reality Marble. We'd kill ourselves trying, any human and most Servants would," she assured him.

"Oh. I see," he sighed a bit.

"So, do you feel up to another magecraft lesson?" the bluenette suggested.

Tyler paused. He was fatigued, but highly doubted he'd be able to sleep. And could use a distraction. ". . Yeah, sure,"

X

Later that night, Joan found her Master contemplatively watching the stars.

"Hey," she called, leaning on the balcony that he was balanced on. "Let me guess, you're all caught up in your own thoughts again?"

"Oh, hey Joan. Don't make me sound like I'm that shallow," Tyler good-naturedly grumbled.

"Well you kinda are, but it's working for you so it's fine," she chuckled.

Tyler turned to face her. "So did you just come up here to make cutting comments?" He paused. "Actually, hey, that's kind of been a thing with you recently. You've been, um, more abrasive than you were when we first met,"

"You can say 'rude', Master," Joan assured him with a slight laugh. "I know. It's on purpose. It's just, heh," Her face fell. "When I met that other - the real Jeanne d'Arc," she reminded herself, "she was so . . earnest. All prim and proper and polite. And, sure, that's a good thing, for, like, society and junk. But it's, just, really really her. Not me. So I thought about it a bunch and eventually decided that since she was all polite and crap and I'm not her, I should do the other thing. So yeah, I'm gonna be abrasive. Because that way no one who knows us both will ever mistake me for her,"

"That makes sense," her Master nodded. "Heh. I'm glad you're coming into your own in terms of identity,"

"Haha, and part of that is that I don't care that you feel that way! So there!" Joan cackled, then shot him a genuine smile of appreciation. "Heh," She slid closer and wrapped an arm around him.

A comfortable silence reigned for a moment, which was broken when Tyler mused, "You know, you never actually talked me through why you decided to call yourself Joan,"

"Oh, that?" A slight but noticeable flush crossed her cheeks, and she turned away. "It's dumb,"

"Try me,"

"Well. Um," she mumbled. "After what that digital idol girl thing said about naming myself for something I want to be . . I thought about it, but there wasn't really anything I wanted for myself. Except to distance myself from Jeanne d'Arc, and I don't want to be 'not-Jeanne', that'd be stupid,"

"It, well, yeah. It would," Tyler agreed.

"Right? But . . well, then I thought about you. How you're going on this long and crazy adventure to save the world, and you wanted me to come with you. And I realised, more than anything, I want to join you,"

He nodded, smiling a bit, then paused. "Wait,"

"Yeah. I tweaked it to Joan because I know that's how some people recorded her name, and calling myself 'Join d'Chaldea' also sounded stupid, but . . yeah. I'm the one who joins you wherever you go. It's . . it's silly, right?"

Tyler stifled a chuckle, but assured her, "I love it," They smiled at each other, but after a moment, the Master looked away, and Joan saw his expression subtly turn downcast.

"Oi. No. No brooding. What's wrong?"

He sighed and plaintively asked, "I don't want to ruin the mood?"

"There is no mood if you're not laughing and smiling with me,"

"Oh, okay, fine, just . . You're still a Servant. You'll only be able to stay with me for as long as I'm at Chaldea. Eventually something will happen, and me, or maybe you, will -"

"Actually, no. I won't," she interrupted him with a flat look.

". . Huh?" was his eloquent response.

"See, I realised there is one benefit to not being a proper Servant," Joan told him. She knew this was a devious and unfair card to play, leveraging an advantage that Kiyohime and Elizabeth didn't have. But no one had ever said that she was the good version of Jeanne d'Arc.

"I'm not dependant on Chaldea's system. The Grail inside me is all I need, and good fucking luck to anyone who wants to take it from me. Circumstances will never force me to leave you, and I can't imagine you going somewhere I wouldn't be willing to follow. Sorry Master, but if you really don't want me around, you should have let me die back in Orleans. I don't plan on ever giving you another chance to get rid of me,"

Tyler stared at her for a moment, and Joan offered him a mischievous smile. "Food for thought," And with that she turned around and went back inside (to make sure that Kiyohime wasn't trying to sneak into their Master's bed again). She was mildly surprised not to feel any twinges of guilt in her gut. She'd expected some part of her to argue that she oughtn't have told their Master that, but not a single fibre of her being regretted it one iota.

Perhaps, in its own way, that was even more damning than the guilt would have been.

The lonely Master considered Joan's words and tried not to eye her rear end as she left. "Is that . . really how it is?" A smile tugged at his lips even as he shook his head. ". . Feels too good to be true,"

X

The next morning, there was still no sign of activity from the camp of enemies besieging Rome. As such, Nikki and Joan found themselves sitting on on a meeting with Nero and her Senate regarding a much more mundane affair than a magical war for the fate of humanity.

Namely, that Rome was running low on her supplies of food. Boudica was well aware that a siege was just as much about logistics as battle, and any and all merchants attempting to reach Rome had been slaughtered and looted.

"Why can't we simply deploy these Servants to escort traders to and from the city, if they're so powerful?" one senator demanded.

"Because that would cripple our defences, you fool," another countered. "Besides, do we really want to entrust our fate to these foreign mercenaries?"

"Now hold on. If you're going to call us mercenaries, we should talk about how much you're paying us," Joan threatened with a savage smile.

"Well - why - I - um,"

"That's what I thought. Look, we are heroes. Literally. That is our job description. We could run escorts for food and supplies, but I don't think this siege is going to last that long," the onetime Maiden of Orleans countered. "This war is ultimately a numbers game regarding us Servants. The first side to lose all their Servants, their defeat is all but assured. Normal soldiers and warriors just can't match us, you know this because that's how you lost most of the Roman army. We're better off consolidating our forces and making the most of all the strength we can muster,"

Nikki paused. Joan's words had reminded her of something. "Speaking of, I just had a thought about an additional advantage I might be able to secure. Joan, can I trust you to handle this on my behalf?"

"Again? I'll take it as a compliment. Sure, but what's so important?"

A smile tugged at her lips. "I need to see a man about an elephant,"

X

"Hannibal!" Nikki yelled, striding into the Roman jail with Altria and Nobunaga at her shoulders. "Hannibal, um,"

"Barca," Altria whispered.

"Hannibal Barca! Hero of the Second Punning War -"

"Punic,"

"- same thing," Nikki brushed the correction off as they came to a halt in front of a jail cell.

Behind a wall of metal bars, a tall, tanned man with a bushy beard leered down at them. He was fastened to the ground by steel cuffs, hands bound in chains, and a magic circle in Latin had been erected around him. "Master of Chaldea," Hannibal raised his eyebrows. "For what purpose do you seek this audience?"

For a second, there was silence as Nikki furiously thought. "I can get you out of there as easy as one, two, free, but eye can't see a reason you won't make like a tree and leave as soon as we're busting our backs against Boudica and pointing them at you. So if you ever want to blow that elephant trumpet again, Chaldea nose you need to sniff out a reason for us to trust you. Are you catching me, or just not going to play ball?" Each statement in this string of inanity was punctuated by such gestures as miming binoculars, posing like a tree, tapping her nose and pretending to play a game of catch.

There was a moment of silence, broken by Nobunaga laughing her head off.

". . Why are you punning at me?" Hannibal rumbled.

"You were part of the Pun War! Isn't this a thing for you?"

His face was striving to emulate the platonic ideal of granite. "I was a hero of the Second Punic War," Hannibal corrected her.

". . oh. So I just embarrassed myself with awful wordplay for no reason?"

"Your humiliation does make me smile," the general rumbled. His lips remained fixed in place.

Nikki heaved an irritated sigh. "Fine. Whatever. Point is, I want you to join our side. We always need more help and more recruits. And you're not a Berserker so I refuse to believe that you're consciously willing to doom all of human history just for the sake of getting revenge against Rome,"

"Mm. You're correct. I do indeed have objections against the course of action taken by the faction that I find myself embroiled in the affairs of," Hannibal mused. "I certainly would like to join you on the mission to restore humanity. But I am afraid that the choice is not up to me," he declared, gritting his teeth and clenching his fists.

". . You have a Master," Nikki realised.

"Indeed. He has given me strict instructions, enforced by a Command Spell. One of which was that if I should ever find myself in the presence of an ally of Chaldea, I must destroy them at any cost. It is taking everything I have to resist the . . urge to . ." The chains binding him suddenly snapped, and, still gritting his teeth and trying to hold himself back, Hannibal reluctantly rose to his feet.

A corona of energy flared to life around him, barely constrained by the magic circle that Roman maguses had erected around him. His lips cracked open and he cast a look that might have been apologetic at Nikki as he hissed, "Run,"

"Way ahead of you!" Nikki made a small squeak as Altria hoisted her by the collar of her Chaldea uniform and started carrying her away.

A wordless scream ripped its way out of Hannibal's mouth, followed by the words, "African War Elephant Cavalry: Assault of Hannibal!"

The cell exploded, the ground cracking and disrupting the magic circle that imprisoned him as a full-grown elephant erupted out of the air before him, trumpeting with fury and driven by the command to chase after Nikki.

They emerged from the jailhouse, and moments later the doorway exploded as seven tons of magecraft-empowered elephant failed to fit through it. A second elephant punched another hole in the debris, and as the roof started to cave in, a third elephant exploded out of the collapsing building.

X

In a distant tent, Lev Lainur Flauros smiled. "It's time. Send in," his lips twisted, "the party bus,"

X

"Hey! Little boy!" Tyler started as Euryale's head appeared on his communicator. "There's, um, something approaching the western gate! My Master's busy fighting Hannibal, apparently! I'd rather not call you, but I don't have any choice!"

"There's a what at the gate?!"

"I don't know but it looks dangerous - stop asking questions and come save me!" the gorgon demanded.

Tyler looked up, and Kiyohime - because of course she was there - locked eyes with him. "It wouldn't be appropriate to say that she doesn't need our help, would it?" the dragon-girl wilted.

"Honestly, Kiyo, she's not even one of my Servants . . Liz, we've got trouble at the west gate! Me and Kiyo are going ahead, catch up with us!" Tyler yelled. "Kiyo, you're fast. Carry me?"

"Hai, Master-sa - right, right, sorry!"

X

At maximum Servant speed, it only took Kiyohime five minutes to reach the western gate of Rome - only to find it, once again, in ruins.

Euryale's head poked out from where she'd been hiding in a pile of debris. "It took you long enough! You useless boy!"

"Don't you dare talk to my Master that way!" Kiyohime snapped.

"Oh, I think I can talk to him however I want. Isn't that right?" Euryale, consciously turning on the charm, span and struck a seductive pose, batting her eyelashes at the other Master.

She watched in disbelief as he walked straight past her to inspect the damage. "Huh? Oi! Why aren't you scraping at my feet?!"

"Huh? Oh, are you trying to do charm magic or something? Really thought that was fictional," Tyler shrugged nonchalantly. "Sorry, but I am part Phantasmal. Your mileage may vary. Speaking of mileage, Director? Da Vinci?" He held his arm out and the hologram flickered to life. "Is it just me or do these look like tyre tracks?"

Sure enough, this time around the gate seemed to have been destroyed not by a barrage of magic, or the hands of a powerful Servant, but rather as though Mad Max had driven straight out of the movies and into Rome in some kind of apocalyptic monster truck. "So. I'm pretty sure I already know the answer, but just to be clear," He choked back an incredulous laugh of sheer disbelief, "there aren't any magus records of demolition derbies in Ancient Rome, are there?"

". . Do I want to know how you came to that conclusion?" Dr. Roman asked with a grimace.

"Those are tyre tracks. Um. No, Tyler, as far as I know there's no reason for something like that to be in Rome," Olga-Marie assured him.

"You might just have to follow them until you find out what's causing them,"

A crash came from the direction of the city, and in the distance Tyler could see something moving. "Whatever it is, it's turning Rome into a HotWheels course and I assume that's bad for history. Girls, let's go after it!"

"Kay!" Kiyohime beamed, scooping him up again and taking off.

X

Nikki, her Servants in tow, was pelting down the streets of Rome, trying desperately to come up with a plan for elephants.

Behind them, a pair of rampaging African mammals trumpeted in fury, steadily building up speed and momentum.

"Look out!" Nobunaga suddenly threw out her arms to halt her Master and teammate, and Nikki folded over her elbow, steadying herself with a grunt. "What?"

Then the building in front of them exploded and the single most anachronistic thing she could have imagined emerged from the rubble. Nikki could only stare at the massive bus, suspended on oversized, off-road tyres, made of gleaming white metal with red stripes and glowing strobe lights dancing around the tinted windows. Insane laughter rung in her ears as the road before them was reduced to a skid mark, and then it vanished, ripping through the next building on the other side of the street.

". . . What?!" Nikki repeated herself.

"Huh. I didn't think there were monster trucks in Ancient Rome," Nobunaga mused.

"There shouldn't be!" Altria snapped.

Footsteps behind them had Nobunaga dashing to the side and pulling them both out of the way of stampeding elephants.

Nikki watched them go, and as they slowed and began to turn around, muttered, "How did this become my life?"

A moment later Kiyohime arrived carrying her teammate, with Elizabeth in hot pursuit. Tyler immediately asked, "Did you see -"

"The bus? It went that way," Numbly, Nikki pointed.

". . Sorry, the what? Is that what made the tyre tracks?"

"Master! Elephants!" Kiyohime shrieked, rounding on the approaching war beasts. "Can I kill them?"

"Would you please?" Nikki agreed.

"Go for it," Tyler concurred.

The Berserker giggled gleefully and launched herself at the elephants, shrieking, "Transforming, Flame-Emitting Meditation: Samadhi Through Flames!"

The elephants shrieked in dismay and tried to slow or turn around, but the oncoming serpent of blue fire was too fast.

"Contain them first, to be safe!" Tyler instructed.

"I'll help with that," Altria assured them, and started hefting chunks of rubble and throwing it at the brawling dragon and elephants.

Panting, Elizabeth joined the group, and paused in confusion at the sight. "Um, what did I miss?"

"Elephants," Nikki summarised.

"Hannibal again?" Tyler checked.

"Who else? I'm more worried about this bus,"

"There's a bus?"

It was at that point that the buildings behind Kiyohime exploded and an anachronistic monstrosity emerged from the rubble. A giant, futuristic-looking bus mounted on the suspension of a monster truck emerged from the cloud, bounced the heap of dragon and elephants and flew into the air, eliciting screams from Kiyohime and the elephants while it flew over them and hit the ground on the other side with a crunch.

The roar of its engine faded as it trailed to a stop, exposing an assortment of rocket boosters attached haphazardly to its rear end.

The group stared at it in disbelief for a moment, punctuated by Elizabeth gasping and gleefully pointing out, "Oh wow! It's a real tour bus! All the good idols have one of their own, right? Puppy! Can you get it for me? I want it!"

The doors swung open with a hiss of pneumatics, and the strangest man they'd ever seen emerged. He was tall and strapping, with positively chiselled features that would earn him millions as a male model in the modern world. His thick, luxurious black hair was slicked back into greasy dreadlocks that hung over a thick white coat that shed glitter with every step, held around his waist by a belt with a custom buckle that said 'VII'. His eyes were hidden by a pair of bright purple novelty sunglasses shaped like stars, and his thick, puffy lips were twisted into a grimace. To Chaldea's consternation, another one of those green, glowing obedience collars, like the one that had been inflicted on Caligula, adorned his neck. "Feel like I got a bum deal here, could swear my suspension was rated okay for elephants and dragons," the Servant grumbled.

"Hey!" The unknown Servant looked up as Nikki yelled. "Who are you, and why are you tearing up Rome?"

"Who am I? Why, isn't it obvious?"

"Let me guess!" Tyler yelled. "You're Elvis Presley!"

All present could swear they heard a record scratch. "What?!" the bus driver spluttered. "No!" He promptly struck a pose, raising his fists as miniature fireworks burst from the air around him. "I!" the hostile Servant bellowed, "Am the man, the myth, the legend, Tarquinius Super Bus!"

A moment of silence followed this grandiose declaration.

". . No. No, absolutely not!" the history student snapped. "That! Just! Cannot be right!"

"Of course it is. Only a man such as Tarquinius Super Bus could own such a super bus!" the Elvis Presley impersonator declared, flexing his muscles in such a way as to draw attention to his bus, as though it weren't already the centre of attention.

"No no no, it's supposed to be Tarquinius Superbus. As in, the root of the word 'superb'? Not 'super bus' - you lived in the sixth century BCE!" Tyler couldn't help but scream. "They didn't even invent buses until twenty-four hundred years later!"

"And yet here I am, and here is my bus. Cogito ergo bus," Tarquinius retorted.

"You think therefore bus?" he parroted. "No. No, this is the stupidest thing I have ever seen! I - I'm living in a parody. I must be. That's the only explanation for this nonsense!"

"Ah, puppy?" Elizabeth interjected. "Regardless of his historical accuracy or lack thereof, he has a bus and he looks like he's ready to run us over. So, maybe . ."

"Right, right right. Chaldea!" Tyler raged. "Let's show him what we think of anachronisms!"

His Servants exchanged glances, and Kiyohime, who had at some point reverted to human form and staggered back to the group, tapped his shoulder. "And, um, what do we think of anachronisms?"

". . Just. Destroy him. Please?"

A devilish smile spread across Kiyohime's face. "Anything for you, Master!"

"Yeah, I'm game. Sixth century BCE? Perfect!" Nobunaga cackled, drawing her sword and charging in. Elizabeth pursued her, brandishing her lance.

"You handle that, I'm going to sabotage the super bus," Altria decided, circling around to bypass the fight and get at the bus.

In response, Tarquinius stepped backwards and the folding doors of the bus closed in front of him. Kiyohime arrived a second later, her fists slamming into the tinted glass and bouncing off even as the vehicle's engine roared back to life. Guns popped into existence around Nobunaga, but her bullets bounced off the presumably-bulletproof, magecraft-reinforced glass.

Altria was about to stab one of the tyres with Excalibur, but then the bus roared to life, almost leaping into the air as it took off, crashing into another building and making it fold like tissue paper as it wheeled around and began to approach for an attack run.

Tyler realised first that the super-bus was not just targeting the Servants, but also himself and Nikki. "Move!" he yelled, shoving his teammate out of the way.

"Huh? Why?"

A tyre taller than they were ripped through the space where they had been standing, providing all the answer she needed. "Oh, shit!"

There was a crackle of interference, and as the bus began to circle around for another attack on the comparatively-stationary Chaldean force, Tarquinius' voice was broadcast across the city. "Wherever I go, the roads of Rome run before me!"

"Is that a Noble Phantasm chant?" Nikki couldn't help but demand.

"The bus isn't his Noble Phantasm?!" Tyler bit back his panic.

Tarquinius continued as he completed his turn and accelerated towards them again, rocket thrusters erupting from the back of his bus as it accelerated to a phenomenal speed. "This city, this nation, is mine to do with as I please!"

To their astonishment, the bus leapt into the air, propelled by its suspension - and then its chassis split open, a massive metal jaw unhinging and scraping along the ground as it barrelled towards them. "Domicile of Scandal That Ends Dynasties: Superbus Grand Prix! I am a superstar!"

"Alright, no. Enough of this!" Altria yelled, furiously hefting her sword. "Vortigern, hammer of the vile king, reverse the rising sun! Sword of Promised Victory: Excalibur Morgan!" The flickering red sword beam lashed out at the incoming vehicle.

Its jaws opened wider and it ate the attack.

The other Servants scrambled out of the way again, but Altria wasn't able to move in time. "Oh shiiii-" And then the bus' jaws snapped shut around her. The King of Knights screamed in pain as she vanished from view.

The bus slowed, and Elizabeth and Nobunaga rejoined their Masters. "I think it's time for one of your famous plans, Master!" the Archer heatedly requested.

"Wait," Tyler noticed someone was missing. "Where's Kiyo?" In response, Elizabeth numbly pointed at the super-bus.

Kiyohime had somehow latched onto the rear-view mirror, and was repeatedly beating against the windscreen, creating a slowly growing crack. "This! Is! For! Trying! To! Run! Over! Master!"

In response, the shadow behind the tinted glass that was Tarquinius pressed a button, broadcasting, "Superbus Windscreen Wipers!"

"Wha - aah!" Roman gladius swords shot out of the bonnet and started whipping back and forth around the front of the bus, forcing Kiyohime to release her grip or else get cut to ribbons.

She hit the ground as Tarquinius began to come around for another pass.

"Gah. I can kill him! I'm sure of it! But my bullets don't have enough penetrating power to get through the glass!" Nobunaga couldn't help but whine. "It's so unfair!"

Nikki sharply inhaled as an idea struck her. "Glass. Sound at the right pitch can shatter glass, can't it? Elizabeth! Do you think you can hit the right pitch to blow out his windows?"

"Um," the idol bit her lip. "Maybe? I don't know, I sorta did my best to train myself out of shattering glass every time I sing,"

"Could you do it with a Command Spell?" her Master interjected.

Elizabeth still looked uncertain. "I . . I dunno,"

"C'mon, you can do it. The debut of your next great hit, saving the capital of the Roman Empire from destruction. What sort of idol could pass up a chance like that?"

She knew he was goading her, but couldn't stop the wan smile tugging at her lips. "Well . . okay. I'll try!"

"Good, because he's coming!" Nikki hollered, giving Elizabeth a somewhat unnecessary shove towards the front of the group and sprinting out of the line of fire. Nobunaga and Tyler followed suit, the latter pressing a finger to the back of his hand and yelling, "I order you by my Command Spell, use your Noble Phantasm to shatter that bus!"

A flicker of red power erupted from his hand, and a corona of magic erupted around the aspiring idol. A wild smile emerged on her face as she span her lance and planted it in the ground, her purple magic circle appearing around her.

One hand found the bulge that was Tyler's phone, tucked inside her skirt. "Thank you for this, puppy. I liked all of those songs, but there was one that stuck with me. This is where my new legend truly begins," she whispered, then inhaled as the giant amplifier that was Castle Cjeste erupted from the ground around her.

"But in the end, I wouldn't care that it's a lie," Elizabeth sang, and soundwaves erupted from the speakers around her. They hit the bus like a physical force, slowing it as it approached her. Tarquinius gritted his teeth as he floored it, but the idol wasn't finished, her shrill and off-pitch notes causing the very air around them to quiver.

"If it could keep me strong, then let the lie (Fresh Blood Demoness: Báthory Erzsébert) caaaaaaarry OOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNN!"

The shrill high note at the end of the lyric struck the super-bus with such intensity that it was physically forced back. Cracks span and danced across the glass windows of the vehicle, until, less than a quarter of a second before Elizabeth ran out of breath, they exploded into a shower of razor-sharp fragments that glittered like snowflakes. Tarquinius shrieked in displeasure as he was exposed, resting in an upholstered, plush seat with his hands wrapped around a solid gold steering wheel.

"Thanks, little girl, I've got it from here!" Nobunaga cackled.

"Instant Enhancement!" Nikki contributed, red light crackling from her sleeves and erupting around the Archer, who leapt in front of the idol as dozens of guns appeared from the air around her, forming three concentric rings that span as they unloaded their munitions. Three Thousand Worlds: Three Line Formation!"

Tarquinius screamed in equal parts fury and pain as the bullets dug into his skin. "How dare you‽"

He went to press a button, but a familiar wave of magic washing across the assembled Servants' senses stayed his hand. Nobunaga smiled and looked into the - frankly freakishly luxurious interior of the bus; at a glance she could see shag carpeting, modern couches with enough fluff to bury oneself in, an indoor jacuzzi, and a familiar blade ripping its way out of the floor.

Covered in oil stains, battered and bloody furious, Altria wrested herself out of the guts of the vehicle and struggled to her feet. "I just got eaten. By a bus," she spat and raised her sword. "And I am not happy about that!"

The smile slipped from Nobunaga's face as she realised where this was going, and hastily threw herself out of the line of fire. "Kid, take cover!" she shrieked at Elizabeth, who paled and dropped to the ground.

"Sword of Promised Victory: Excalibur Morgan!" The sword beam obliterated a massive chunk of the bus and blasted Tarquinius straight out of his seat, sending him flying into the air before landing on his face in front of Elizabeth.

By the time he recollected himself to look up, the forces of Chaldea were arrayed in a circle around him, pointing an assortment of weapons and magecrafts at him. Even Nikki's hand was glowing with a prepared spell, and Tyler had pursed his lips and was exhaling a small plume of fire.

". . I surrender?" Tarquinius meekly offered..

Then he gasped and convulsed as the green collar around his neck lit up, strangling a scream in his throat.

"Shit. Um! Gandr!" Nikki yelped, and a bolt of magic shot out of her fingertips. It splashed across the green collar, which flickered and seemed to spark. "Someone cut that thing off him!"

Elizabeth's speartip darted around the Rider's throat and, with a twist, sliced straight through the collar. The magecraft-enhanced leather dimmed to a dull black as Tarquinius gasped for breath. "That - that - that was . ." He blinked, staring at the people around him through the frames of his exploded sunglasses. "You freed me," he mumbled.

"Yeah, and we'll be talking about that, but for now I still don't trust you," Nikki declared. Medea and Hektor's betrayal was still too fresh in her mind. "Altria, take him to the jailhouse. As for the bus," she turned to see that the super-bus was just finishing the process of evaporating into golden light. "Huh. Nevermind,"

"Elizabeth! That was amazing!" Tyler cheered and hugged the draconic idol. She gasped, but preened a bit and hugged him back, tail flicking in delight.

Kiyohime scoffed, but reluctantly joined the hug. "It was impressive," she reluctantly admitted.

Elizabeth could only giggle nervously and relax into the embrace. "I, um . . I think I cracked your phone's screen," she apologetically mumbled.

"Don't worry about it, I'm sure Da Vinci can fix it," their Master assured her.

"Um, not to spoil the mood," Nikki looked around, scanning the ruined city around them. "But what happened to Hannibal?"

X

"You're going to regret this!" Nero screamed.

She was tied up in the same chains that had once imprisoned her captor, repurposed as rope, and slung like a sack of potatoes over Hannibal's back. "I am Emperor Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus, and -"

"I don't care! My word, woman, do you ever shut up?!" the Rider roared back as he followed the trail of destruction that Superbus and his super-bus had left, leading straight to the edge of Rome. He was within throwing distance of the once-again-collapsed western gatehouse of the city. While it was true that, as a target of opportunity, he had been ordered to eliminate any member of Chaldea he found, his primary mission was to kidnap and retrieve the living Emperor of Rome. Not only did Boudica want to subject Nero to her tortures, her death would almost certainly disrupt this Singularity beyond any hope of repairing history. "Save your whining for Queen Boudica. Knowing her, she'll enjoy making you scream,"

"Ha! I will never -"

"I just said!" Hannibal bellowed, then an arrow struck his shoulder, and he stumbled, his grip going slack enough that Nero could struggle free. "Euryale . . is . . beautiful," he mumbled, then a bow cracked over the back of his head and he hit the dirt.

"Boy, it sure is a good thing that I stayed here to watch the gate and kept Plan E in reserve," Euryale drawled, sidling over to the struggling Nero and starting to untie her. "I still can't believe you turned out to be a woman. I mean, honestly, the Emperor of Rome, owing me his life? Do you know what I could do with that?"

Nero fixed her with a quirked eyebrow and a calculating look, then smiled a bit and offered, "I'll name the new western district after you?"

Euryale's eyebrows shot up, and she giggled. "Deal!"

Chapter Text

"Alright!" Nikki clapped her hands together. "Let's try this again!"

She was staring at Tarquinius Superbus and Hannibal Barca in adjoining cells. While Tarquinius was merely chained up, a massive array had been erected by Nero and her best maguses around Hannibal and he was bound and gagged tightly enough to forestall even the slightest movement.

Outside the cells, the entire complement of Chaldea was arranged, save for Nobunaga and Mozart who were still watching the gatehouses. (Or, rather what was left of the western gatehouse following Superbus' road rampage.) Excalibur was levelled at Hannibal, and Euryale had an arrow nocked and targeting Tarquinius' heart.

Nikki was flanked by Tyler and Nero, each holding a communicator that was projecting the visage of Director Olga-Marie, Dr. Roman and Da Vinci respectively. In the control room, each had a monitor to themselves, and was focusing intently on the interrogation to take place. Even Era was present, and Da Vinci had acquiesced to letting her settle on her lap.

"Don't worry, my friends. I'll answer all your questions like a superstar!" Tarquinius assured them.

Hannibal hissed out of the corner of his mouth, "Traitor,"

"Oh get off your damn high horse! I never wanted to be on the team in favour of destroying Rome! Even if I was driven from it in shame, this was still my home once!" the onetime king retorted.

"I'm really not sure we should let him join the team," Tyler put forward. "Everything I've ever heard about this guy tells me that he was one of the worst kings in history. He ended the Roman monarchy pretty much just by being an unbelievably massive asshole,"

"Tyler," Nikki turned and cast him a flat look. "We recruited Jason,"

". . right, I suppose we are kinda desperate,"

"I take offence at that remark!" The distant voice of the leader of the Argonauts echoed through the comms, and no one paid him any heed.

"You're quite correct. You know how they say hindsight is twenty-twenty? I'll admit it. I was the worst king Rome ever had. Well, except maybe that Caligula brat," Tarquinius grumbled.

"I'll thank you not to insult my uncle, either. Umu," Nero suddenly had her sword unsheathed and was inspecting the blade.

"Right, got it, sorry. As I was saying. You're right! I was a terrible king," the Rider nodded. "So it's a good thing that you're not recruiting me for the sake of my talent as a monarch, isn't it?"

"He makes a compelling point," Olga-Marie thoughtfully nodded. "As long as we don't put him in charge of anything, he'll bring more value to the table than trouble. I would hope so, at any rate. But that said, I don't know this legend. I don't think any of us do except Tyler. So how bad is it?"

The boy whistled through his teeth. ". . Not bad enough that we should reject him on principle or anything. He gets blamed for destroying the monarchy, but the, um, event that triggered the tipping /

point -"

"What event?" his Director pressed.

"An event of sufficient magnitude that I don't want to even mention the name while Era's in earshot," He cast a meaningful look in the general direction of the eleven-year-old. "Look up 'The Rope of Lucretia' if you really need to know. Autocorrect will do the rest. Point is, that wasn't actually him. It was his son, Sextus,"

"I also never said I was a good father," Tarquinius shamelessly admitted.

"Oh, that's one for the history of understatements," he scoffed and rolled his eyes. "I guess, in summary, we shouldn't put him in any sort of position of authority or responsibility. But so long as we only rely on him for extra muscle and transportation, well," A guilty smile tugged at Tyler's lips. "He does have a super cool bus,"

"Word!" Tarquinius grinned and shot finger guns at the young Master, who sucked in his lips and didn't respond.

"I think we should trust him. He seems sufficiently nice," Era piped up.

"Alright. Do you want to, or . ." Nikki suggestively trailed off.

Tyler just shook his head. "No, you go ahead. I'm not sure I can trust him enough for a contract. Besides, I already recruited Liz. It's your turn,"

"Fair enough. First, though, we have a few more questions,"

"Can ya make it snappy-like? That collar ya'll broke was in place of a contract for me. Now that it's gone, I may be free o'the mind control, but I'm running out my clock here too,"

"Oh, alright, fine," Nikki elected, raising her hand. "Tarquinius Superbus,"

"Super Bus," the king corrected her.

"Really? Oh, whatever. Tarquinius Super Bus. Will you swear to accept my will and reason? Will you be my guardian of the scales? Built on the foundation of stone and the archduke of contracts, do you accept me as your Master?"

"So long as I am incarnated here, I will be your Servant," he confirmed with a gracious nod.

"Then by the seventh heaven, clad in the great words of power, I accept you as my Servant!" Her Command Spells flashed, and the connection was formed between then, tethered to Nikki's magic circuits and the Mystic Code that channeled energy from Chaldea's generators to her Servants.

"Thank you. This'll be such a blast," Tarquinius beamed.

"Let's get back to it, then. My first question is, who put that collar on you? I can maybe believe Boudica specifically wishing on a Holy Grail to summon Roman heroes, but I highly doubt she's a Caster or has the ability to enslave Servants like that. So who's your old Master?"

"Oh, that all? Never got his name, but he was a green fella, with a top hat. Long, shaggy brown hair, and he was always sneering. Like his face was stuck that way,"

"Lev?!" Olga-Marie gasped, leaping to her feet. "He's there? In Rome?"

"Oh, you know him? Then yeah, that was probably him. 'S a small world, after all,"

". . Please, tell me that no one let you go to Disneyland," Tyler could only pinch the bridge of his nose in response to that statement. As no one else had the context for the phrase 'it's a small world after all' - whether because they were born in an era before Disney or maguses who never had time for such things as amusement parks - none of them responded.

"How is he? Um, I mean, how was he acting?"

"Evil," Hannibal reluctantly rumbled.

"Yeah, true that," Tarquinius agreed. "He was always grumbling and cackling about all sorts of plots and what have you. He was my third big clue that I was fighting for the bad guys, ya dig?"

"The righteousness of Boudica's cause may be debatable, but that man certainly made me feel like working with him was a mistake," Hannibal agreed.

"Out of morbid curiosity, what were the first two?" Dr. Roman asked.

"The enslavement collar and taking orders from a gal who gets her jollies in by torturing that poor chubby guy," the former king casually explained.

"Chubby guy, you say?" Da Vinci leaned forward, intrigued. "Do tell,"

"Not much to tell, he could barely say a word from what I saw. Had a red coat and plants on his head, if that helps. Oh, and a giant nose,"

"Plants on his head - you mean like a laurel wreath?" Tyler's eyes lit up.

"Yeah, that's the ticket,"

"Boudica mentioned that she had also summoned Julius Caesar. That must have been him!" the historian realised. "I don't remember anyone ever calling him fat, though,"

"Umu, take it from someone who's had people write about her. No matter what your waistline looks like, you never actually allow someone to call you fat," Nero reasoned, and Tyler conceded the point.

"Has Boudica summoned any other Servants?" Olga-Marie demanded.

"Not telling," Hannibal growled.

"Besides herself and the chubby fellow? There's at least one other, but I'm afraid I never saw him, just felt their presence in the distance," Tarquinius explained apologetically. "There might be more by now, though. If that cup of theirs summoned me, it could summon more,"

"Cup?" Everyone in Chaldea immediately seized on the word.

"A golden cup?" Da Vinci pressed.

"Shaped like a chalice?" Nikki added.

"With enough magic that you feel like you're holding the sun in your hand?" Tyler, as the only one there to have actually held a Holy Grail so far, contributed.

"Yeah, something like that. Had some powerful mojo, or at least it sure looked that way," Tarquinius confirmed.

"So Boudica does have this place's Holy Grail. We already suspected, but it's nice to have it confirmed," Da Vinci tactfully refrained from using the word Singularity in Nero's earshot.

"Well, that being the case, it sounds like it might be time for us to go on the offensive. We win if we get the Grail, so let's stop waiting for it to come to us and go get the Grail," Nikki suggested.

"She's right. We're at a stalemate as long as we play defensive. Boudica can keep summoning Servants, so no matter how long it takes she'll eventually wear us down," Dr. Roman nodded.

"Well, I'm happy to plan an offensive!" Nero concurred. "It's going to be hard, though. The barbarians outnumber what's left of the Roman army five to one. Can Servants really make up that difference?"

"No," Altria shook her head. "We're good, but enough enemies, even if they're weak individually, will eventually wear us down,"

"Then we need a different plan. Something that plays to our advantages,"

"No, you don't," An unfamiliar voice came from the centre of the group, and everyone started. The Masters wheeled and leapt away in shock, Nero drew her sword, the Servants prepared to attack, and everyone refocused on the new arrival. It was a skeleton that seemed to be made of shadows, with glowing green energy seeping from its eyes and mouth. As they watched, shadows formed a top hat and frizzy hair, creating a familiar silhouette.

"Lev!" Olga-Marie gasped, momentarily overjoyed, then paused. "No, that's not who you are. Where's the real Lev? What did you do to him?"

"Oh, hello again Olga," the skeleton familiar dryly turned towards Nikki, focusing on the hologram attached to her arm. "Still kicking, still deluded? What a hassle. Your voice grates on my ears so much that I think I'll dispense with the pleasantries and just get to why I came here,"

"Wait! You still have to answer -" Director Olga-Marie was cut off by Dr. Roman, who yelled, "And why is that?!"

"To kill you all, of course. Hannibal, I order you by my Command Spell. Detonate your Spirit Core. Self-destruct and kill everyone here in the blast,"

The Rider's eyes shot open in panic as a glow erupted from his chest. "Wha - no! I refuse! I shan't!" Regardless of his protests, though, the light was steadily increasing in intensity.

"Oh, shit, everyone run!" Even as she screamed, Nikki was pelting towards the door. The other two mortals, Tyler and Nero, were immediately chasing after her, and the Servants were hot on their heels. Noticing that their Master was falling behind, Elizabeth and Kiyohime in unison caught his Mystic Code and dragged him with them.

"They . . don't . . deserve . ." Hannibal's growled sentence was cut off by a wordless scream as his cell erupted with light.

It was a minor miracle that the Chaldeans and company were already at the door of the jailhouse when the concussive shockwave hit them and threw them out into the street, followed by a wave of light and heat. An ominous crashing sound resounded in their ears, and by the time anyone was able to lift their head and look back at the building chunks of debris were raining down around them. The walls shook and collapsed, and the ceiling caved in before their eyes. The arched doorway collapsed before their eyes, leaving the jailhouse reduced to so much rubble.

"Is everyone okay?" Tyler wrested his eyes away from the collapsing building and scanned his group.

"That was way too close," Nikki breathed, shivering uncontrollably as the surge of adrenaline passed out of her body.

"Wow. It's been a while since someone tried to assassinate me. What a rush! Doesn't it really get the blood pumping?" Nero laughed with a slight touch of hysteria. The Masters simultaneously cast her unimpressed looks.

"Uh, everyone? We left Tarquinius in there with him," Elizabeth interjected.

There was a moment of silence as everyone looked back at the cloud of Spiritrons that had begun to emerge from the rubble.

". . Oh come on we'd just gotten him to agree to help us!" Nikki complained.

"Don't panic yet!" Da Vinci yelled from Nero's arm. "I'm still -"

She was cut off by a booming voice as a fist erupted from the pile of rubble. "I!" Tarquinius bellowed as his bruised and scratched head emerged from the collapsed building. "Am a superstar!"

Most of Chaldea stared in disbelief, and a bit of excitement.

"Detecting a Rider-class Spirit Origin there with you," Da Vinci lamely finished.

Elizabeth applauded, bouncing on her heels and cheering. "Yay! Hooray for the King of Buses!"

"King of Buses? I like that!" Tarquinius shot her a toothy smile at the recognition, then shifted a little. "Ah. I might need some help extracting myself?"

X

After extricating a certain Rider from the debris of the jailhouse, the Chaldeans and affiliates gathered in the Forum, Nero's senators flanking her once again.

"Right. So, we've got four enemies of note," Nikki began. "Boudica, Lev, Julius Caesar and the other unknown Servant. Boudica will be represented by this coin, Lev will be represented by this phone, and the two Servants he's enslaved will be represented by the earplugs attached to the phone," She placed the named items on a map of the region that had been spread across the table, in the area that Boudica had set up her camp.

Tyler frowned. "When did you get my phone?"

"She asked for visual aids and I didn't have much on me," Elizabeth apologetically mentioned.

"This is important because if we take out the phone, the earplugs attached to it will also disappear, or possibly even defect and join our side," Nikki continued, then realised what she'd said. "I mean, Lev. If we take out Lev, his Servants will stop being threats, and then we just have to worry about Boudica. We also need to claim the Grail, and I expect that either Boudica or Lev will be in possession of it. We don't know which, though, so we need to prepare to engage both of them under the assumption that they will have the Grail,"

"We can't just fight them both at the same time? Why not?" Joan asked.

"Because Lev is a magus. I'm the only one here who has any experience at all fighting other spellcasters, everyone else here is limited to fighting Servants. And trust me, they will both get much more dangerous if they're allowed to fight together. Boudica will be able to protect him while he empowers her," the Master put forward. "Our best chance is to divide into two groups. One to fight Boudica, one to fight Lev and whatever Servants he can bring to bear,"

"Radical. Who gets to lay the beat down on the boss lady?" Tarquinius interjected.

Nikki shot him a sweet smile. "I'm so glad you asked,"

X

The last rays of the setting sun vanished from view as the Super Bus' engine roared, eating up the distance between Rome and the barbarians' camp. Having been dismissed and resummoned after Tarquinius healed, it was similarly refreshed, repaired and ready to rumble.

"Y'now. This is actually incredibly luxurious," Altria observed, glancing around the interior of the bus.

"You don't have to tell me twice," Euryale sighed blissfully, reclining in Tarquinius' onboard jacuzzi.

"Oi, little girl! The jacuzzi is for emperors only!" Tarquinius huffed in her direction from the driver's seat.

Euryale sat up and batted her eyelashes. "Oh? You really can't make an exception for sweet little me?"

A flush crept across the emperor's cheeks, and he mumbled, "Well, um, I suppose that's . ."

"Eyes on the road, Elvis," Nikki huffed from the shotgun seat. "We're about to hit the camp. Nobunaga, you ready up there?" she yelled at the skylight.

The Fool of Owari had converted her position on the top of the bus into an impromptu gunner's post, with floating muskets revolving around her. "Locked and loaded,"

"Good! Euryale, get out of the bath and get ready, we're about to arrive!" their Master commanded. "Impact in three! Two! One!"

There was a crunch as the Super Bus hit the outer perimeter of Boudica's camp. Not that this impeded the magic vehicle in the slightest, rather the crunch was the sound of wooden tents being crushed under its massive wheels. Around them, the barbarians roared, several taking threatening swings in their direction. Arrows fruitlessly bounced off the bulletproof windows, and a few enterprising barbarians threw themselves bodily at the bus, grabbing on to whatever handholds they could find and making their way onto the roof.

Any such individuals were promptly greeted by bullets to their heads. "I've got company up here!" Nobunaga hollered, enchanted guns swirling around her.

"Just keep going! This is only the chaff! We need to get Boudica's attention!" Nikki reminded them, glancing back at her other Servants again. "Oh for the love of - Euryale! I told you to get out of the jacuzzi! We need you ready in case another enemy emperor shows up!"

"Ughhhhhh. Fine!"

X

"This brick," Nikki placed on the map table in the Forum a small brick scavenged from the reconstruction of the gatehouse, "represents the Super Bus. These little silver coins represent me and my Servants," she counted out coins for herself, Altria, Nobunaga, Euryale and Tarquinius. "In terms of my plan for dealing with Boudica, perhaps a visual representation would be best," She slid the brick across the map until it touched the coin that was Boudica, then kept sliding both until the coin fell off the table.

"I like it already," Altria graced the plan with a toothy grin.

"We're essentially using the same strategy Boudica used against us with Tarquinius; tear her turf up and get her attention. Mind, we have a different goal after that. We're not going to defeat her immediately. First we need to lure her out of the camp and away from Lev,"

X

"There's a big tent in the middle, boss lady. Want me to ram it?" Tarquinius offered.

"Go as close to it as you can without touching it. Boudica and Lev will know that her chariot is the only thing they have that can keep pace with the Super Bus. She'll have to come in person," Nikki instructed, and the emperor obliged, carving a road of destruction through the camp that went straight past the command tent.

In the rear-view mirror, Nikki watched as a familiar woman with a mane of red hair emerged from the tent, looking around in bewilderment. Boudica's eyes fixed on them, and she could swear that visible steam erupted from her ears. A flash of black light heralded the appearance of her bicorn-drawn chariot, which began to pursue them before she was even fully secured on it. Based on the way her lips were moving, she was probably screaming something, but they were too far away to catch a word of it.

"It's all going according to plan. Nobunaga, does it look like she has the Grail?"

"Well, there's no obvious signs of it," the Archer called back, guns spinning to focus their fire on the incoming enemy. "She could be keeping it in reserve, but doesn't seem the type,"

"And Lev's not with her?" Nikki checked.

"Unless he's hiding under her cape, no!"

"Phew, we've avoided the worst-case scenario then! Step on it, bus boy, we need to bait her out of the camp so Tyler's team can execute phase 2!"

Gunfire heralded Nobunaga's attempts to gauge her durability. "I've got good news and bad news. The good news is, she's following us!"

"Then what's the bad news?" Nikki shouted back.

"She's following us!" With a scream, Nobunaga ducked as a chariot wheel that more closely resembled a buzzsaw span through the air towards her. "Wah! No one told me there would be frisbees of doom!"

X

"There's also the small matter of hundreds of thousands of barbarian warriors," Nero had pointed out, back in the Forum. "How are we going to deal with that?"

"Well, as far as that goes, I've got one idea," Tyler put forward. "Nero, your Noble Phantasm is a giant theatre that amplifies performances. How large can you make it? Large enough to encapsulate the entirety of Boudica's camp? All, or at least most of her army?"

"Umu, maybe just barely? I'd need to start from right in the middle of it, though," Nero jabbed at the middle of the map and shook her head.

Tyler frowned. "Damn. There's no way we could get you there, is there?"

"Sure there is," Nikki intervened. "The River Tiber. Boudica's camp is directly downstream from us, and the river runs through their camp. We can swim below the surface under the cover of night. Da Vinci can make us aquatic Mystic Codes for it,"

"Sounds dangerous. Let's do it, umu!" Nero giggled.

X

It had taken most of the day, but Da Vinci finished the Swimsuit Mystic Code for Tyler. "I also took the liberty of packing it with some additional spells that you can use to practice your Magecraft," she boasted, showing off a pair of boardshorts coloured in a khaki teal pattern with lighter-coloured squares on the front and either side.

". . Really." Tyler was unimpressed. "You really made me magic underwear,"

"Would you rather go skinny dipping in the River Tiber?" Da Vinci acerbically retorted.

"No, no, sorry, you're right. They look great. Is Lily ready to come through?"

"Ready and waiting, Master!" Da Vinci rotated the camera to show Saber Lily being strapped into a Rayshift coffin, and obligingly handed her a waterproof backpack containing the Mystic Code, a towel, some basic swimming gear for his Servants and a laminated sheet of instructions.

"Alright!" Tyler stood over the ritual circle that he'd erected the day before on Nikki's behalf, and held out his hand. "How did Nikki do this? Just make the connection? Um, okay. My will creates your body, and your sword creates my destiny. Return to me, Artoria Pendragon, Saber Lily!" He brought his hand down on the summoning circle, and it flashed blue as a wind kicked up in the room, carrying bright pink flower petals over the magic circle.

When Lily came through the portal, she started and was instantly alert, one hand gripping Caliburn. "This feeling . . what is this?"

"Lily?" Tyler breathed heavily from sudden fatigue, but still managed to lift his head. "Is something wrong?"

". . no, Master, it's nothing," Lily stepped out of the ritual circle, and her eyes fell on a pink petal resting on Tyler's foot. "Nothing to be concerned about," she insincerely assured him.

X

Da Vinci had woven enchantments to let the group breathe underwater for long enough that they could use the river to get close to the centre of the camp without noticing. What was less obvious was why she had woven these into bikinis.

"Master!" Kiyohime preened, doing her best to exaggerate her chest. "Doesn't this swimsuit make me look good?"

"This feels wrong for some reason," Elizabeth mumbled.

"Umu! So this is appropriate attire for the water in your time? I like it!" Nero clapped her hands in delight.

"Eh, appropriate's a stretch but I can certainly see the appeal. What do you think, Master?" Joan chuckled, then paused at the way their Master was determinedly staring into the water. ". . Tyler?"

"Da Vinci," he hissed. "Why. Just, why?"

"Master!" He stiffened as Kiyohime hugged him from behind, soft flesh pressing against his spine. "Stop staring at the river and pay attention to your Kiyohime!"

After a few moments of chuckling at his expense, Mozart decided to rescue him. "Now now, ladies. This is new and exciting, and he's not sure how to handle it. We need to help him acclimatise, and there's only one way to do that,"

Tyler mumbled his gratitude, while Kiyohime tilted her head. "What's that?"

"Why, exposure therapy of course!" With that, he grabbed the poor Master's shoulders and twisted him around, then gently shoved him into Kiyohime's embrace.

"DAMNIT MOZA . . ah," As Kiyohime giggled and pressed Tyler into her chest, a flush crept over his face and a drop of blood emerged from his nose.

". . . when did my life become an anime?"

X

And so, while Nikki's group turned Boudica's camp into a demolition derby, Tyler and his Servants, as well as Nero, Lucius and Mozart, swam together through the silt and muck at the bottom of the River Tiber.

Team B climbed up the riverbank to find a camp in chaos. Barbarians were milling around in confusion, some engaged in petty squabbles with each other.

There was also something that the young Master found very peculiar after a couple of minutes' looking around. "Guys," he whispered as Nero guided them closer to the centre of the camp. "Is it just me, or are we all seeing the same few faces repeated?"

". . Huh," Joan's brow furrowed. "You're right. That's really creepy," she mumbled, watching three identical barbarians obliviously struggle for ownership of a cut of meat.

"Mozart, you're a Caster. Any input?" Lucius mumbled to the musician.

"Hm? Well, I'd say it's simply proof that our enemies aren't real people. Merely mass-produced human-shaped familiars generated by Boudica's Noble Phantasm, or perhaps the Holy Grail," Mozart put forward.

"Well. That's a relief. Even if this is just a Singularity, and non-canon to Proper Human History, and even if they're our enemies, I probably would have felt bad about helping get so many people killed," Tyler mumbled. "Gotta say, though. Asset reuse is fine in video games, but it's creepy as hell to see it in real life,"

"How do you think it feels when one of the assets reused is your own face? Altria," Lily idly grumbled.

"Probably not as bad as knowing your face is a, um," Lucius paused in the middle of his reprimand. "What's an asset?"

"Explain later," Nero slid into a blind spot between tents. "This isn't the exact centre, but I don't want to get too close to that command tent, umu. It would be an unnecessary complication,"

"Yeah, that's probably where Lev is," Tyler agreed, opening the watertight bag Da Vinci had sent him and pulling out his usual Chaldea Uniform Mystic Code, as well as Nero's dress. As the two humans got dressed properly again, a series of flashes of light heralded the Servants re-materialising their clothes. "Right, let's do this. Everyone spread out and get ready to defend Nero,"

"Umu!" Nero agreed with a cheery nod. "This is going to draw a lot of attention!"

X

"But, I won't be able to both trap all of our enemies in the Golden Theater, and execute them all too. That's not how it's supposed to work, and I won't have the power for it," Nero informed him. "I also suspect Boudica would be able to break it open, so we'll need her outside the area of effect,"

"We can handle that," Nikki confirmed. "But -"

"No, don't worry, I have another idea. Nero, are you the only one who can perform in your Golden Theatre, or can anyone put on a show using it?" Tyler pressed.

"Well, so long as I give permission, that should be fine. But it'd have to be someone who's a really amazing artist," Nero insisted.

"How about the smash hit pop idol who's responsible for the greatest hits of the Servant world?" he suggested with a gleeful smile and a glance in Elizabeth's direction.

Mozart went pale. "You - what? You want to let her perform in the Golden Theatre? Are you insane?!"

"You really think I could?" By contrast, Elizabeth was ecstatic.

"I don't see why not!" Nero encouraged.

"Eee!" The idol hugged her Master. "I get to perform in the Golden Theatre! Puppy, you're the best producer ever!"

"This is not going to be safe," Mozart repeated. "This is an absolutely terrible idea. It will be a crime against the very concept of music,"

"Perfect!" Nero gleefully nodded. "Pushing the boundaries of art is the reason my Golden Theatre exists!"

"The universe will take offence!" Mozart melodramatically sobbed, needless of the fact that everyone was ignoring him. "We will face karmic reprisal!"

X

Tyler, Elizabeth and Nero stood together at the centre of the magic circle that spread across the barbarians' camp. The Master's breath caught in his throat as he witnessed the display of Servant-level Magecraft from a human, and he leaned closer, trying to memorise the intricacies. "Hey, Nero. You're human, not a Servant, how are you able to do something this massive?" he asked.

"Can't talk. Umu. Focusing," Nero grunted. "Behold my glory!"

Orchestral music began to fill the air as tiny, stylised angels floated around them. Mozart's symphony rang out, empowering and supporting Nero's magic.

"They've noticed us!" Joan yelled, as the magical effect began to draw the attention of the barbarians, who began mobbing them. "They're coming!"

Blue fire erupted from Kiyohime's hands, and she started throwing crescent-shaped waves of fire at the incoming barbarians to stymie them, sending them stumbling for long enough that seats formed around them to hold them in place.

The ground underfoot was overwritten with cleanly cut stone as Lucius interrupted a group of archers, sending them scattering, and left them to be similarly caught in a self-building bleacher as, behind him, his Emperor continued, "Hear the thunderous applause!"

Lily pointed her sword at a group of warriors who'd decided there was safety in numbers and commanded, "Golden Sword of Promised Victory: Caliburn!" A golden laser blew them all backwards and into a forming private box that sealed around them before rocketing upwards into the air, where the sky was beginning to be replaced by a domed ceiling.

Tyler's perspective shifted around him and he was transported into an elevated box from which he had a spectacular view of the forming arena. "Sit down and praise my Golden Theatre!"

The allied Servants, save Nero and Elizabeth, appeared around him, relieved from their defensive combat and, in Mozart's case, his duty enhancing Nero's abilities. "Kingdom of Heaven and Hell, my heaven reconstructed!" the Emperor shrieked. The dome finished forming, and a familiar magic spotlight that shone down around Nero and Elizabeth. "This is where the limelight shines!" Thousands, dozens of thousands, perhaps even hundreds of thousands of barbarians packed every inch of the theatre, swollen and overbuilt compared to when it had been deployed against Caligula. The rear end of the theatre was far enough away that he couldn't even pick out individual people against the great mass of flesh.

Nero collapsed to one knee, and the Golden Theatre's supports rumbled ominously. "You've got two minutes," she wheezed at Elizabeth. "I've reinforced the box containing your Master and the others, umu. Show me a performance worthy of this, the greatest . . manifestation . . of my theatre, ever,"

"Shouldn't you go join them, though? This is going to be, um, really dangerous," Elizabeth fretted, crouching a bit to peer at her.

"Umu! I've got the best seat in the house! I wouldn't miss this for anything!" Nero assured her with a somewhat pained smile. "We haven't time to waste, begin already!"

"Right!" Her spear whirled in the air around her and buried itself in the ground at the centre of the Golden Theatre, and great tattered black wings with white membranes erupted from Elizabeth's back. "It's time for my great performance!" she hollered, nodding to herself as Tyler's phone slid out of her sleeve and magically clamped onto her spear below her microphone. This would work. This had to work. Everything was riding on this; their victory, her new legend . . her puppy's approval . . it would work!

Castle Csejte erupted from the ground around her, bending and twisting into a circle of speakers and amplifiers. The gothic castle of dark stone, with its conical towers and jagged battlements, looked wildly out of place amidst the splendour of the Golden Theatre, but Elizabeth didn't care as her Noble Phantasm rotated around her. A central platform of golden brick burst out of the ground from her and Nero's position in the centre of the speaker array, elevating them both out of her protected position and putting her on full display in the middle of the Theatre, and Elizabeth started, glancing at Nero. "What are you doing?"

"Don't hide away behind all these speakers!" Nero demanded. "This is your great performance as the future number one idol, is it not? Let everyone see you shining!"

"Right!" Elizabeth beamed and looked out at her audience. For a moment her eyes strayed in the direction of the reinforced box where her Master was waiting, but she knew it would only cause trouble if she focused in that direction, so she tore herself away and span around her microphone to face in the exact opposite direction. And if she happened to wiggle her tail a bit in her puppy's direction, that was definitely just your imagination.

"Welcome, everyone, to my great performance! We're on the clock, so without further ado, let's get into it!" Elizabeth took a deep breath, and sang.

"I just wanna spit out these cold and jagged thoughts," she crooned as her castle's amplifiers pumped out a steady beat. "They're the only proof that I've ever come across," Waves of sound burst from the speakers, ionising the air with musical magic.

"I once had a chance at a future that I'd lost," In the crowd around her, the music had escalated to the point where it had become physically painful, and the enemy warriors were clutching their ears in a desperate attempt to drown out the music as blood dripped from their ears.

"Between losing freedom or dignity is cost," She paused, and a guitar solo rang out, projected from Tyler's phone and fed to her speakers.

"I just wanna erase this image in my mind," Elizabeth's voice dropped, and it felt as though the temperature in the room plummeted in tune, "So truths of my limits can never see the light,"

Her jaw tightened, and a tear slipped from her eye. "I'm so damn self-conscious, and proof of this, you'll find,"

Elizabeth felt the moment the first barbarian died from the musical onslaught. It was one of the minority of female warriors, blood pouring out of her nose and mouth and pooling around her feet. Like a laser focus, she honed in on the sight and felt the forbidden passion for blood awaken within her as she continued singing on autopilot. "On last year's calendar without a single date inside,"

In a precious moment of transcendent clarity, Elizabeth took those feelings, those dirty, ugly parts of her that she was so desperate to erase, and released them into her music.

"Revive!" A sudden increase in pitch sent jagged spikes of sound echoing around the arena like broken glass as she snapped her wings out to their full breadth in a dramatic flourish. "And rewrite! This tale of pointless fiction, and make it one you won't forget!"

Propelled by her wings, she leapt into the air, ripping her microphone out of the spear and spinning in midair. "So now rise!" The pitch increased and the tempo accelerated. More of their enemies were dying, the milestone of a hundred behind her and she passed a thousand as puddles of blood became the norm. To her relief, she could see the bodies beginning to discorporate into Spiritrons, once and for all proving that the majority of these, at least, were just manifestations of a Noble Phantasm.

"And rewrite!" Reaching a fevered pitch, the Countess of Blood sang her heart out and her captive audience paid tribute with their lives.

"As you awake from the grave!" Ten thousand dead, but that was still less than a tenth of the total barbarian army. Fortunately, she was still ramping up.

"You givе it everything! (Fresh Blood Demoness: Báthory Erzsébert) Your body, heart, and soooooooooouuuuuuul!" An omnidirectional expanding sphere of magical music erupted from Elizabeth's mouth, with such intensity that it was visible to the naked eye. Everything that Elizabeth Bathory desired, everything she believed in, everything she was went into this one moment of sheer, unbridled moment of music.

Glancing around, though, it hadn't been enough. More than half of the enemy army was disintegrating, but still at least fifty thousand had endured.

So she did it again. "(Fresh Blood Demoness: Báthory Erzsébert) Oh-whooaaa-oohhhhhh!" The second sphere of sound struck the survivors, and the brains of thousands seemed to spontaneously explode, going by the way they collapsed, gushing blood that dissolved into Spiritrons.

A pulsing, oscillating sound reverberated deep into her bones as she sang the final notes, which echoed with such intensity that the roof of the Golden Theatre began to collapse. "Oh-whooaaa-oohhh, (Fresh Blood Demoness: Báthory Erzsébert) oohhhhhhh-ahhhh-ohhh-hhh!" Around the theatre, the final holdouts against the musical onslaught succumbed.

Dropping to the ground and trying to ignore the agony in her throat, Elizabeth looked around to gauge the reaction to her performance. She received no response from the audience of corpses, and, looking around, her fellow Servants were uniformly trying to bury themselves at the rear of the box Nero had placed them in.

But all that mattered was the standing ovation and silent cheers that her producer was giving her from behind several layers of cracked soundproof glass.

She smiled and then collapsed, falling into the reddened hands of the kneeling Emperor Nero, who had blood dripping from her nose and ears . . and a wide smile on her face. "Did . . you like it?"

Around them, the Golden Theatre evaporated and deposited them back in the middle of Boudica's camp, followed in rapid succession by Castle Cjeste. Both women fell to the ground, and Nero slumped sideways, shivering uncontrollably. But this didn't stop her from whispering a sentence that sent eager chills down the idol's spine.

"I can't wait for the encore,"

Tyler hastened over to them and helped them both up, only to find that neither were capable of supporting their own weight from sheer exhaustion. "That was amazing," he assured them both.

"I think I'm gonna take a nap now," Nero mumbled, and promptly passed out.

"Th-thanks, puppy," Elizabeth mumbled, slumping against him and nuzzling into his shoulder. "Me too,"

As Tyler laid them back down, the rest of Chaldea looked around to find the camp had been all but scrubbed clean of barbarians. "Did anyone see any sign of opposing Servants in all that?" Lucius pressed.

"I'm afraid not," Joan frowned. "I can't imagine a Roman emperor Servant would have died to that - Nero's human, and she took it point blank. Somehow," Mozart mumbled something about how that was completely unfair, but no one paid him any attention.

Footsteps approaching drew Chaldea's ire, and everyone wheeled to see a portly man dressed in a red coat staggering towards them. He was blonde, with a laurel wreath adorning his head, and blood dripped from his nose and ears. Most disconcertingly, his left arm had been replaced with a bulky marble sculpture that was disproportionately large compared to the rest of his body, and its weight caused him to talk with a limp. "That was . . impressively horrifying," the unknown Servant settled on, every word making his double chin and gerbil-like cheeks ripple. His coat ruffled, and they caught glimpses of another black obedience collar with glowing green runes wrapped around his neck.

Joan immediately took point in defending her Master, Lily and Kiyohime leaping to her aid. "Who are you?"

"A wretched prisoner," the man admitted with a grimace. "But also the only one still alive in this camp. And I am compelled by my contract and this abominable Mystic Code to throw my life away in the vain hope of killing you all. Though, after witnessing that abomination against the arts I'm going to take a certain degree of pleasure in doing so,"

"What happened to your arm?" Kiyohime suddenly burst out.

"Oh, this," The man glowered. "Boudica decided to see if harming my Spirit Core directly was enough to inflict a wound I couldn't regenerate. She was right. Unfortunately, her damnable court mage took the liberty of affixing this thing to my body in replacement. Be warned, it's quite dangerous,"

"No reason to bear around the bush, then. We'll save you if we can," Lily assured him.

"It would be quite nice if you did, though I'm afraid I can't make it easy for you. After all, you know how it goes," The man's lips twisted in a cruel smile. "Veni, vidi, vici,"

Tyler immediately recognised the quote that defined the entire language of Latin in the modern world, and went pale as he realised they were staring down Julius Caesar. "Oh, shit,"

X

"Say, quick question, boss lady. Where are we?" Tarquinius asked as the Super Bus drove along the coast of Italy. Which was notable because, last time anyone had checked, they'd been driving inland.

Nikki looked around, realising that the city of Rome was nowhere in sight. "Um. Da Vinci . . ?"

"I genuinely don't know how," the Caster commented with a pained grimace, "but you're back near Mediolanum!"

". . I knew my track record of 'going where I meant to' was going too well," Nikki glowered to herself. "Is Boudica still following us?!"

"She's hot on our heels!" Nobunaga confirmed.

"This is fine, then," the Master determined. "Tarquinius! This car chase just turned into a road trip. Can you handle that?"

"Hot dawg!" the bus driver confirmed.

"Then let's get lost!"

Chapter Text

'Distraction, distraction, we need a distraction, we need to buy time because I am not ready for this,' Tyler thought to himself. His gaze locked onto Julius Caesar's dapper red coat, and he remembered a stray thought he'd had when first meeting Nero. Namely; that dress should not exist in this era. "So are modern historians just completely wrong about how developed the Roman textile industry was?"

For a second, everyone was thrown off by the non sequitur. ". . What?" Joan finally asked.

Taking a deep breath, Tyler stepped forward, slipping through the defensive line of Servants, turning his head and winking at Joan in such a way that Julius wouldn't see it, then turning to Caesar and clasping his hands behind his back. "First Nero's dress, and now that coat. I mean, I'm not a fashion historian, really I specialise in ancient literature if anything but that does not look Roman. I mean, you have buttons. I'm pretty sure the Romans hadn't invented those,"

For a long second, Caesar stared at him, then laughed. "Well, well! It takes a special kind of arrogance to walk up to an enemy whose strength is vastly greater than yours and insult his sense of fashion! In answer to your question, no, this coat isn't something I wore while alive. But Servants are permitted certain liberties with their presentation. After all, I'm sure you've noticed that your singing friend back there carries a microphone even though those were invented hundreds of years later than she lived,"

"He's got a point, lots of Servants are a bit anachronistic," Joan agreed, inquisitively eyeing her Master.

"Nonetheless, having the guts to say such a thing impresses me! Who are you, young man? I may be mandated to slay you, but I can at least grant you honourable death,"

"Tyler Coren, Master of Chaldea. But, since it's just us here, I'll tell you there's another name I had the fortune to inherit. I may not be worthy of it yet, but I can and will get there," Tyler assured him, miming behind his back as he spoke. He gestured to Kiyohime and Lily, and mimed a fist, then made a 'stop' motion at Joan and Lucius. Finally, he pressed two fingers together and mimed a thrust in Lucius' direction.

"And what's that?" Julius pressed, frowning warily and flexing his marble arm.

"Fafnir," And then a cone of flame erupted from Tyler's mouth, lacking the power to do more than superficial damage but serving as an effective smokescreen as he retreated behind his Servants, yelling, "Kiyo! Lily! Engage! Joan, Mozart, protect Nero and Liz! Lucius, if you get an opening, use your Noble Phantasm!"

The Servants sprung into action, Lily moving to Julius' right and trying to sneak behind him while Kiyohime attached head on - and was promptly punched away by his massive marble left arm. Scowling, the Saber drew a sword with his right hand and deflected a slash from Caliburn, twisting to engage Lily Saber to Saber while his left arm waved menacingly in the direction of Lucius and Kiyohime.

"Hold on. Julius Caesar, are you a Saber?" Tyler asked incredulously.

"Correct!" The disproportionate weight of his prosthetic arm was slowing his swordplay down, and Julius found himself on the defensive as Lily forced him.

"Literally why, though? You weren't renowned as a swordsman. You were a head of state!"

Unfortunately, one of Lily's swings went too wide and, with an elegant flourish, he broke her guard open and delivered a cut that sent her left arm falling limp to her side. "You're quite correct. In all honesty, boyo, if I'd actually wanted to be here I'd have manifested in my best class, Rider. Taking the form of my weakest class, Saber, was the best rebellion I could manage," he explained.

"How capital!" Mozart cheerfully nodded his approval as Tyler cried out in dismay.

"Lily! Uh - Kiyo, Lucius, both at once! He's only got the one marble arm, he can't block both of you!"

"Right!" Correctly assessing the spear to be the greater threat, Julius brought his arm across to intercept Lucius, but in doing so his focus slipped on defending against Lily. Kiyohime capitalised, leaping into the air as blue fire erupted around her hands, and Lily knocked his sword backwards and almost disarmed him of it.

Caesar was promptly driven to the ground by a Berserker tackle, and Kiyohime's flames doubled in intensity as she savagely started beating on his chest. "Yes, Master!" she roared. Orchestral music mounted in the background as Mozart turned his attention to empowering her.

"Kiyohime, stop!" Lily yelled and was about to intervene, but a massive marble hand came across and punched her into the middle distance. Julius made to recover his footing, but Caliburn came down over his throat. "Stay still," the other Saber instructed.

"Would that I could," Julius grunted, sweeping his right arm out and tripping her over. Lily stumbled, giving him enough leeway to throw himself back to his feet.

Lucius took the opportunity to stab him in the back. "Spear of Destiny: Longinus," he politely informed the Caesar, and his spear erupted with light, blowing Caesar back onto the ground, this time on his chest. An armoured foot pressed down on the small of his back. "Hold his head! I'll cut the collar off!" the Lancer commanded.

"I'll take his arm!" Kiyohime agreed, jumping on the madly thrashing marble menace. Lily agreed, pressing Julius' face into the dirt, and Lucius carefully slid his speartip into the minute gap between his neck and the collar around it. He flicked it upwards, fluidly opening a tear and ripping it off.

Immediately, Caesar's struggles died. "Oh, I . . I'm freed . ." the Roman mumbled.

"Are we finished?" Lily checked, her sword whipping out.

"Yes, yes, you have nothing to worry about," Julius mumbled, leaving the marble arm that had been grafted onto him limp and using his normal arm to force himself upwards. "I am . . myself again,"

Cautiously, Tyler advanced. "Do you need a hand getting up? Healing, maybe?"

"No, no, I can manage," Julius assured him. "Thank you for getting that awful thing off me. That perverse imitation of a Servant contract made my skin crawl, to say nothing of the indignities I suffered at the hands of that barbarian queen,"

"Yeah, I also have questions about your arm, on that topic," the Master admitted with a sympathetic wince.

"The result of an experiment. It's like I said, Boudica decided amputation would be a fun hobby to take up and Lev replaced my arm with this thing so that I could still fight on his behalf," Julius summarised. "I certainly look forward to using it to come, see and conquer the inside of his guts!" he snapped, casting an angry look at the severed collar lying on the ground.

He paused, eyebrows shooting up.

"What?" Tyler followed his gaze and blinked at the collar, noticing that the green runes on it were starting to flicker. "Should those be blinking like that?"

"Get down!" Julius suddenly bellowed, spinning and slamming a massive marble clothesline into Tyler and Lily, then placing his rotund body between the collar and the Chaldeans.

Before they had even hit the ground, the collar exploded. Green magical energy washed outwards and upwards, burning away Caesar's clothes and armour and searing his skin, the shockwave punching into his spine. A concussive blast sent the Chaldeans stumbling, Tyler instinctively flattening to the ground as Lily threw herself over him, and Kiyohime and Lucius were physically blown away. Joan buried her flagpole in the ground for balance, taking the brunt of the blast to shield the unconscious Elizabeth and Nero, and Mozart ducking behind her.

When Tyler was able to sit up and look back at the explosion, a low whistle escaped his throat.

Julius' back had been obliterated, skin and muscle burned away and flayed open, Spiritrons evaporating from his body. "Didn't . . know they did that," the Saber grunted, forcing himself up into a kneeling position. "Probably a trap for you, Master,"

"First Aid!" Tyler desperately cast, and Julius hissed out a sigh of pained relief as the edge was taken off the agony.

"I suppose that bastard doesn't like the idea of others stealing his toys, does he?" the Roman leader groaned. "Damnit. I really would have liked to join you,"

"I . . would have liked that too," Tyler admitted, stumbling towards them, and his Servants crowded around him.

Julius Caesar looked up, taking in the heroes around him and their Master. He noticed that one of them was not quite like the others. ". . Perhaps I still can," With the last of his strength, he threw himself sideways, human hand outstretched, and grabbed the blade of the sword that Lily had removed from his grip. "You know, it honestly infuriates me that I even qualify as a Saber. I really don't deserve it, I wasn't famous for swordsmanship. I only have one story about this sword, and it involved me losing it," He turned back towards them, ignoring the way that his own blood was staining his sword from holding it by the blade, and offered its hilt. "Maybe it's appropriate that I end my role in this performance by losing it again,"

Joan stared down at the sword being offered to her. "You're giving this to me?"

"You don't have a Noble Phantasm, do you? I can tell, you're not a real Servant. But you're still doing everything you can to help your Master. Admirable. This sword's name is Crocea Mors," With a grunt, a small, rippling bubble of golden light emerged from Julius' hand and merged with the sword, and as he did the rate at which his body was dissolving into Spiritrons rapidly increased. "I've put what's left of my Spirit Core inside it. It's a damaged and weak little thing after all this, you'll be lucky to get more than one shot out of it, but," Julius cracked a bloodied smile, slumping as his knees disintegrated. "Maybe it'll help you out,"

Joan hesitantly wrapped her fingers around it. "Thank you,"

"Think nothing of it," Julius slumped, hitting the ground once again, weakly turning his head. "I came, I saw, and I was conquered. I never thought I'd see the day when I could live with that . . wait, hold on," He stared in disbelief at the fact that the massive marble arm was dissolving into Spiritrons with the rest of his body. "I can't possibly be taking this marble arm with me back to the Throne, can I? If this thing becomes a permanent part of my record, I will never forgive that damn demon Flauros!"

"Demon? He's a what?!" Tyler demanded, crouching. "If there's anything you know about him, please tell us!"

"Oh, thought it was obvious. Sorry about that, Master," Julius mumbled, his remains shrouded by an aurora of Spiritrons. He choked as his throat decayed. "He's a . . demon god . . one of . . seventy-two . . from the Ars . . Goetia," With that, the last of his body finally dissolved into a golden cloud that quickly began to fade, leaving the only trace of him as the sword in Joan's hand.

For a moment, Tyler closed his eyes, silently paying his respects to the legend who'd passed before him.

Then he turned on his communicator. "Director. Dr. Roman. Da Vinci. Tell me everything we know about the Ars Goetia,"

X

As the Super Bus roared through the streets of Mediolanum, Boudica charged after it. Nobunaga was raining bullets in her direction, but most of them bounced off her armour.

"Should I be targeting the horses? Or, uh, those aren't horses. Whatever she has instead of horses?!" the Archer suggested.

"No, don't! We want her to chase us, remember? We need to keep her busy at least until the B-Team's done, and she might give up if she can't chase us anymore! Since the others are probably dealing with Lev right now, that means buying as much time as possible!" Nikki explained.

"Gotcha. Just, I don't think my guns are doing jack shit to her! Which is really freaking weird, I'm supposed to have a conceptual advantage against old-as-shit stuff!"

"Damnit. Da Vinci?" Nikki addressed her communicator. "Have you got a bead on her Spirit Origin yet?"

"I'm working on it," the Caster promised her. "She's definitely an Extra Class, which might explain it. The inherent defensive capabilities of a Ruler, maybe? You dealt with Drake, does this look like more of the same?"

"How should I know? I wasn't there for that!" Nobunaga hollered in their direction as she ducked underneath another flying buzzsaw.

"Uh," Nikki paused and furiously thought. "Euryale! You were with us when we fought Drake. Can you - DID YOU REALLY GET BACK IN THE GODDAMN JACUZZI?!"

"It's got bubbles," Euryale pouted.

"I will order you with a goddamn Command Spell to become pathologically hydrophobic," her Master threatened.

"Fine, fine, I just thought you didn't need me since we're fighting one woman. But I'll see what I can do," the gorgon mumbled, climbing out of the bath and sliding open one of the windows to glance at Boudica. "Angry gun lady? Could you please give me some covering fire?"

"Angry gun lady?!" Nobunaga parroted.

"Nobu, whatever,"

The Fool of Owari grumbled but obligingly opened fire, targeting Boudica's arm and causing her aim to slip. Her latest buzzsaw-like chariot wheel projectile bounced off the rear bumper of the Super Bus and promptly vanished beneath her own Bicorns' hooves.

Leaning all the way out of the window and hooking her ankle on the jacuzzi's railing for balance, Euryale drew her bow, her twin pink ponytails blowing around her face in the slipstream generated by the Super Bus, and released an arrow. The wind caught its fletching and it flew towards Boudica's face, forcing her to raise an arm to deflect it with her gauntlet.

"No, that's not a Ruler's passive defensive abilities," she reported, sliding back into the bus.

"Well, shit. She's not one of the normal seven, she's not a Ruler or an Alter Ego," Nikki frowned. "What else is there?"

"Why don't we just ask her?" Altria sarcastically suggested from where she was waiting by the bus' doors.

"Good idea!" Nobunaga popped her head back up, cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled, "Hey, Boudica? Professional curiosity, what class are you?!"

"Oh, come on there's no way she's going to just -" Nikki started, but Boudica laughed, a mighty, booming noise that shook the Super Bus.

They passed a large, sloped embankment of dirt and rock - because at some point they had ended up in the prairies - and Boudica used it as a natural ramp, cajoling the Demonic Beasts pulling her carriage into going up and leaping into the air. "You want to know what I am?!" She landed with a thunk on the roof of the bus and cracked her knuckles, meaty, sausage-like fingers grinding together as she advanced on Nobunaga, who quickly realised that staying caught in the skylight was suicide and leapt out to join her on the bus. "There was only ever one choice! I am an Avenger!"

Her proclamation was loud enough that everyone heard it, and a moment of confusion greeted them.

"A what?" Nikki hollered at the skylight.

"Like the superheroes?" Dr. Roman tilted his head in confusion.

"Oh yeah? Well that's nice," Nobunaga scoffed. "My turn. I am Oda Nobunaga, Demon King of the Sixth Heaven! And I want you. Off. Our. Bus! Three Thousand Worlds: Three Line Formation!" Row upon row of muskets manifested around her, spinning and loading themselves.

"You foolish little brat, I've been ignoring your bullets all day," Boudica scoffed and exposed her armoured chest. "Go on then? I'll give you a free shot,"

"Much appreciated!" Then a cluster of guns braced their butts against Nobunaga's back and limbs and fired as she leapt into the air, recoil and the slipstream around them turning her jump into a flying double kick that struck her armoured belly like a gong and drove her other heel into Boudica's nose.

Like loyal pets, the muskets caught Nobunaga and let her steady herself back on top of the bus, giving her the perfect view of Boudica flying backwards, punching a hole in the cloud of dust kicked up by the Super Bus, and hitting the ground with a percussive crash of armour.

As she receded into the distance, though, her chariot pulled up alongside her, and the Avenger forced herself back to her feet and remounted. "I WILL GRIND YOU INTO DUST BENEATH THE WHEELS OF MY CHARIOT!" she roared.

"Da Vinci, I need information to make plans. What can you tell us about this 'Avenger' class container?" Nikki pressed.

"I don't know how much of what we're looking at is common to all Avengers or specific to Boudica, but I can determine a few things. She has some kind of internal magical energy source. Not on par with a Holy Grail, something more like an amplified version of Saber Lily's Dragon Reactor Core. Except hers isn't so much for Mana Burst as it is . . well, it's almost like a perpetual motion machine, but that's not possible. All this energy has to be coming from somewhere. She can't just be making it out of nothing!"

"Keep poking it. What else?"

"Something called Oblivion Correction. Which is some sort of immunity to mental abilities. I think? It's like her entire being is screaming 'I will never forget what they did to me' over and over again,"

"Well, at least it's not a new and exciting way to kill us," Nikki dryly quipped.

"No, it just empowers the existing exciting ways to kill you," Da Vinci mumbled, and as Nikki glared at her she realised a second too late that she'd said that aloud.

It was at this point that Boudica pulled up alongside the Super Bus, her chariot drawing level with the doors. Another chariot wheel appeared in her hand, this one significantly larger and lacking spikes but reinforced with bulky metal, and she used it like a club to beat on the folding doors of the Super Bus, sending cracks rippling through the glass.

"My turn?" Altria asked.

"Absolutely," Nikki confirmed and pressed the button on Tarquinius' dashboard that opened the doors.

Boudica started as the doors slid open, and for a second looked triumphant.

Then she registered that Altria was standing in the doorway, and Excalibur was glowing with red light. "- the rising sun! Sword of Promised Victory: Excalibur Morgan!"

"Oh god damnit," she mumbled and then took a sword beam to the face.

Or at least, so it appeared. When the light faded, a glittering golden barrier of magecraft-enhanced dust was fading around Boudica - and, behind her, another, otherwise invisible humanoid figure.

A figure with a distinctive top hat.

"Master! You need to see this!" Altria bellowed, hastily jabbing the 'door close' button.

Leaving her seat, Nikki glanced in her direction and immediately recognised the figure as his invisibility began to fade. "Shit," she mumbled, and a thought crossed her mind that, only two weeks ago, would have seemed utterly absurd.

What would Jason do?

So she swaggered over to the window, slid it open and leaned out. "Lev Lainur! We meet again!"

As he fully rematerialised into the visible spectrum, Lev drew breath to respond, but was cut off by the second half of Nikki's greeting. "How's my favourite leprechaun?"

Whatever Lev had been about to say died on his tongue as a tick mark sprouted on his forehead. "A fourth-rate magus like yourself should be more careful how she addresses her betters," he settled on instead.

"This isn't the Clock Tower anymore. After all, you burned it with the rest of human history. You should have left it intact if you wanted me to respect you!"

"I suppose you do have a point. We shall just have to beat some respect into that fragile little skull of yours, then," Lev retorted.

X

In the command room, Da Vinci was doing her best to restrain a furious Olga-Marie. "Get out of the way and let me force unmute us so that I can get answers from that fake Lev!" the Director insisted.

"If you've forgotten, Director, that didn't go so well last time," Da Vinci reminded her. "Have faith in Nikki. She's handled everything else up to this point quite well, after all,"

X

"Were you invisible on that chariot the whole time Boudica was chasing us?" Nikki asked, the wind whipping at her blue hair.

"Indeed I was. Don't think I'm unaware of what your friends are doing back at our campsite, mind. Or that it matters. Those barbarians are utterly inconsequential,"

"Hold on, what?!" Boudica suddenly snapped, rounding on her ally. "What's happening back at camp?"

"The rest of Chaldea is wiping out your army," Nikki minutely quirked an eyebrow at this exchange. She could use this. "And apparently your leprechaun friend there knows all about it and doesn't care in the slightest,"

"I know what you're trying to do, and it won't work," the enemy magus growled at her. "Boudica. They're irrelevant. We can always summon more armies with this," And, to Nikki's growing horror, he opened his coat and gestured to the Holy Grail tucked inside it.

"Those are my people!" Boudica yelled at him. "You do not have the right to decide to throw away their lives!"

"I do if it's to save yours!" Lev snorted, looking back at Nikki. "I am loathe to admit it but you did come up with a good plan. Even if it was only possible because by some fluke you broke my control of that ridiculous bus king. Ultimately, though, all you did was force me to choose between preserving an army and preserving the Servant whose Noble Phantasm creates an army. And as long as Boudica remains alive, we'll have another hundred thousand soldiers in a week,"

"So you admit that if you weren't here, me and my Servants would have enough power to beat Boudica?" the Master pressed with a slight chuckle.

Lev's lips twisted into a frown. "It's unlikely but not entirely impossible," he reluctantly conceded. "You certainly have proven to be . . irritatingly lucky,"

"So how do you feel about this, Bou?" Nikki instead addressed the Servant. "Knowing that you and your people's lives are just chess pieces to this guy? Are you okay with that?"

For a moment, Boudica looked conflicted. Then her gaze set, and she retorted, "If it destroyed Rome, I'd kill them all myself,"

Nikki couldn't help it; she started in surprise at this. "Wha - really? Is your revenge really that important to you?"

"Of course it is! I will -"

"Grind Rome to dust under the wheels of your chariot, yeah yeah we've heard it all before. But - you know that if you actually do, then everyone who ever lived dies, right? Incineration of Humanity? All that? Do you really want to destroy Rome so badly that you'd doom the world?!"

"Yes!" Boudica bellowed. "Do you think this Class Container is just for show? My people will be avenged! No matter what it takes!"

"Did you honestly think I would choose for myself a Servant who could be so easily swayed by something so petty as an appeal to her morality?" Lev scoffed. "Rest assured, Boudica and I are entirely united on this matter. But, I think that's enough idle chit-chat. Boudica, would you please?"

"With pleasure!" And then one of those giant buzzsaw chariot wheels was in Boudica's hands and Nikki was frantically closing the window before the projectile could take her head off.

"So, we are in really deep shit," Nikki summarised for her Servants' benefit.

"Didn't you say Boudica and Lev both being here with the Grail was the worst-case scenario?" Tarquinius interjected.

"Yup. Damnit! Fine! We're switching to Plan G, everyone!"

"Which one was that?" the emperor checked.

"Get the hell out of here!" Altria shrieked.

Something crashed against the side of the bus, and the Servants looked back at the chariot to find its spikes had extended and it was bashing against the side of their vehicle. "A speed boost would be good!" Nikki suggested.

Tarquinius nodded and floored it, a tangible drain pulling prana out of Nikki and into his body. "Wherever I go, the roads of Rome run before me!"

The rocket thrusters mounted on the back of the Super Bus flared to life, growing tongues of bright orange flame that propelled Chaldea forwards at a speed Boudica couldn't hope to match. "Domicile of Scandal That Ends Dynasties: Superbus Grand Prix! Escape Mode!"

The bus accelerated in a cloud of dust, and Nikki watched the rear-view mirror in satisfaction. "Okay, good. Let's check on Tyler, he has to -" She cut herself off in disbelief as Lev pulled the Holy Grail out of his coat and, with a flash of golden light, he, Boudica and their chariot all vanished.

"Crap! Incoming!" Tarquinius shrieked and span the steering wheel hard enough that the Super Bus began to tilt sideways as it frantically turned. Nikki was about to round on him and demand what was going through his head, but then she saw that Boudica's chariot and its occupants had reappeared in front of them.

Another club-like wheel flew through the air and hit the rear-view mirror on the left side of the bus, bouncing off and leaving a crack on the side window. Boudica adjusted her course to intercept, but again Tarquinius was outpacing her.

So naturally the Holy Grail flared with light and their enemies teleported to a point five hundred metres in front of them, Boudica already readying a barrage of deadly discuses.

"That is so not fair!" Nobunaga shrilly shrieked.

"Master, I don't think we can lose 'em," Tarquinius commented with a grimace.

"Yes, I agree. There're still a couple of things we can try though. Move to intercept, give us as clear a line of fire as you can at Lev. Euryale, get up here! It's time for plan E!"

"Ooh, finally!"

So it was that, once again, Euryale leant out of the window and nocked an arrow. The Super Bus drifted around Boudica's chariot, zigzagging around her seemingly inexhaustible projectiles, and at the opportune moment the Archer released her arrow, chanting, "Goddess' Gaze: Eye of the Euryale!"

Lev took the Noble Phantasm shot in the gut and gasped, staring at it for a moment. "Euryale," he wheezed. "You . . are going to have to do a lot better than that!" he bellowed as he threw the arrow back, sending it to bounce off the window of the Super Bus as Euryale hastily slid back in.

"Why didn't that work? That should have worked!" she protested. "Is he not a man at all?!"

"If he isn't, that actually might explain a couple of things," Nikki mused, recalling the massive, many-eyed flesh tower that Lev had briefly become in Singularity F. "Tarquinius, turn around,"

"What? Master, if I do that we're all gonna die!" the Rider objected.

"No. No, it'll be fine. Go straight towards them. Our destination is that chariot," Nikki determined.

"Are you crazy?"

"Just do it! And don't pay too much attention to what's around us! That goes for everyone!"

"Uh, got it Master?" Nobunaga uncertainly nodded, sliding back into the bus.

"Oh, we're doing this again? Alright," Altria smirked, amused.

"Someone wanna fill me in?" Tarquinius suggested, even as he beelined towards Boudica in a lethal game of chicken.

Nikki dramatically raised a hand and pointed a finger gun directly at their enemies, concentrating all of the energy in her magic circuits. She still didn't know what this was or how it worked, but she'd been able to trigger it on demand before and if there was ever a time for it, it was right now. "We! Are going! To get! Lost!"

". . Say whaaaat?"

Nobunaga just laughed her head off at this proclamation. "Master, you're crazy! I love it!"

"What are they doing?" Lev squinted at the bus as it sped towards them. "They can't run us over. They have to know that," He blinked.

And, in the quarter-second it wasn't visible to him, the bus was suddenly, simply gone.

". . . What. But . . how? Where did it go?!"

"Goddamn, that hurt to look at!" Boudica cursed.

"You saw? What was it? How did they just vanish?"

"Beats me, it was like space just twisted around them. Who cares, though. We're still going after them, yeah?"

"Yes, you're quite right, it doesn't matter. And . . actually no, no there's no need to go after them. If they're here, and the other half of their forces are in our camp, that means that there's currently no one defending Rome," Lev mused. "Perhaps, rather than chasing after the chicken, we should go and burn the henhouse?"

An evil smile spread across Boudica's face.

X

It wasn't long after Julius died that the Super Bus rumbled into the remnants of the barbarians' camp.

"I am honestly impressed that we made it back here in such good time," Nobunaga off-handedly commented.

"It was easy. All I had to do was try to direct Tarquinius as far away from here as possible," Nikki grumbled. "Good, it looks like Tyler and his group were more successful than us,"

The doors swung open, and the rest of Tyler's team piled in, Lucius carrying Nero and Tyler and Mozart sharing the burden of Elizabeth. "So, Tyler, status report. How successful were you?"

"Pretty good. We slaughtered the army, and defeated Julius Caesar. No sign of Lev, though, which worries me. Or Flauros, as I think we should be calling him,"

"That's because we had to deal with him riding shotgun on Boudica's chariot with the Grail. It was all we could do to keep him off us," Nikki explained with a pained grimace.

"Oh shit, no one died right?" Tyler hastily looked around and breathed a sigh of relief, seeing that none of the Servants were missing.

"You didn't manage to recruit Caesar, though?"

"We came close, but remember those obedience collars? After we freed Tarquinius, it looks like Lev decided to rig the remaining ones to blow if removed. We did, however, get Julius' Noble Phantasm," Tyler gestured to Joan, who was focusing intently on the sword in her hand.

". . what are you doing?" Nikki frowned.

"I'm holding what's left of Julius Caesar's Spirit Core, and have a Holy Grail inside my guts. I might be able to absorb enough of him into myself to make this Noble Phantasm mine permanently, rather than a one-shot weapon like it is currently," Joan clarified.

"Ah. Uh, good luck,"

"Be careful," Tyler requested.

"Don't worry, I told you you're not getting rid of me that easily," Joan promised him.

"Okay. Our immediate problem is Lev and Boudica," Nikki told the assembled group as the Servants. "More specifically, why they let us go. They were teleporting around at the end there, and I'm not sure I buy that Lev couldn't have wished for the Grail to tell him where we are. Or just come here to attack you, even if he didn't know we'd come to pick you up,"

"They're not here trying to kill us, why?" Altria gruffly summarised.

The breath caught in Tyler's throat, and he rushed back to the doors. "Beating us isn't their win condition. Destroying Rome is," he reminded the group, gesturing at a column of smoke beginning to rise from the capital city of the Roman Empire, visible in the distance.

". . damnit!" Nikki cursed. "Tarquinius! Back to Rome! Step on it! And don't bother me until we get there!" With that, she closed her eyes, clapped her ears over her head and faced the rear of the bus as Tarquinius slammed his foot down on the accelerator.

". . what are you doing?"

"This would be a really bad time to get lost!"

Chapter Text

Chapter 24: Avenging

Elizabeth stirred, jolted awake by the Super Bus as it bounced across the uneven terrain outside Rome, and Tyler was immediately with her. "W-what happened?" she asked, her voice sounding raspy and dehydrated. "W-where are we?"

"Nikki picked us up. Are you feeling alright? That was amazing!" Tyler assured her, hugging her as she sat up.

"I . . think so," Elizabeth wheezed. ". . my voice. What happened to my voice?"

"Sounds like you lost it. I suppose that performance must have done damage to your vocal cords," Joan commiserated, settling next to them. "Don't worry, just give it time and it'll heal,"

". . I can't sing?" Tears welled in her eyes, her jaw falling slack. "But . . but . ."

"Probably an improvement," Mozart mumbled, and Altria had the presence of mind to slap him.

"Hey. No. Don't cry, you heard her. It'll heal," Tyler promised her.

Joan gritted her teeth. "I'm sorry, if I could actually use Luminosite d'Eternelle I'm sure its healing effects would -"

"No, don't say that, this, this was," Elizabeth sniffed as her mascara ran with tears, but a smile tugged at her face. "I got to sing," she rasped. "I got to perform, and you applauded me. Even . . even if I can't ever do it again, I can't help but feel happy,"

Watching this, Kiyohime grumbled, while Lily bore a warm smile. Joan carefully adjusted her position so that she could join in on the hug as Elizabeth's tail curled around their Master.

X

The Super Bus roared back through the hole in the wall of Rome that had once been the western gatehouse. It wasn't difficult to find their enemies; as soon as they saw the chariot of Boudica, the Avenger started rocketing towards them.

Nikki immediately saw the latest update to their situation. "Lev's not with her anymore! I think, he might be invisible again,"

"One way to find out!" Nobunaga yelled from the skylight and opened fire, sending waves of bullets passing to either side of Boudica's form. They didn't meet any unexpected resistance, and she exhaled in relief. "I think we're in the clear!"

"No, we really aren't!" Nikki corrected her. "Tarquinius, Plan S!"

"Wherever I go, the roads of Rome run before me!" Tarquinius chanted, and the Super Bus leapt into the air, its chassis unhinging into the massive metal mouth that had once consumed Altria. "This city, this nation, is mine to do with as I please!"

Boudica laughed, a grating noise of scorn that reached Chaldea's ears despite the distance as the bus started snapping at her, accelerating into a deadly game of chicken. "Is that the best you can do?"

It was at that point that Tarquinius finished yelling, "Domicile of Scandal That Ends Dynasties: Superbus Grand Prix!" The Super Bus gnashed its teeth as rocket thrusters redoubled its speed on the approach to their final game of chicken.

Boudica gritted her teeth as the void that existed between the jaws of the bus accelerated towards her, and crossed her arms. "I refuse to be subjected again to Roman depravity! Chariot Without Promised Protection: Chariot of Boudica!" Her chariot flashed with light and its front rose, swelling and redoubling in might until it formed an iron bulwark.

The Super Bus bit down on the bicorns pulling Boudica's chariot and they vanished into the black void that was inside the Domicile of Scandal, but as it tried to bite down on Boudica's defence, it got caught between the bus' jaws.

Gritting her teeth, Boudica leapt out of her chariot, kicking off the rear-view mirror for extra altitude and climbing onto the roof of the vehicle.

Once again, a certain black-clad Archer had climbed out of her position in the skylight to wait for her, muskets loaded and ready. "So we meet again!" Nobunaga leered at the Avenger, folding her arms. "Come back for round 2?"

"I won't underestimate you again, Fool of Owari!" Boudica bellowed, charging.

"Yeah, well, tough! You obviously don't get what it means," A corona of power erupted from Nobunaga's body as she crossed her arms, and the guns melted and transformed into the torso of a black skeleton, looming from behind her. Two bony arms lashed out and caught Boudica's fists, matching her grapple. "To be the Demon King of the Sixth Heaven! It's right there in my profile, Demon King A! Tell me, have you got a strength boosting skill?"

"I don't need one," Boudica growled, taking a step forward and forcing the Archer back. "I have my court wizard's Magecraft enhancing me,"

"Yeah, well you're also an entity from the first century AD. Do you have any idea what kind of modifier that gives me against you?" Nobunaga laughed in her face even as she was forced back another step.

"Obviously not enough of one," Boudica loomed over her, pushing her back and down, the Archer's knees starting to give out under her might.

"Nah. Ya just underestimated me again, Boudy buddy," Nobunaga casually retorted, and a second pair of skeletal arms erupted from behind her, gripping the Queen around her waist and lifting her feet off the ground. Boudica didn't have time to do anything more than panic at the sudden reversal before Nobunaga shifted her weight and threw her backwards, off the roof and back into the path of the Super Bus. "It's snacktime for a good bus!" she declared, and under Tarquinius' instruction the Super Bus leapt upwards on its suspension again and its jaws closed around her as she fell.

"That won't have killed her! Everyone, she'll be coming out of the floor any minute now, like Altria did when the bus ate her!" Nikki warned Chaldea as the bus landed, slowing to a halt, and Nobunaga slid back into the interior of the vehicle. "Get your best attacks ready!"

Everyone spread out, the spacious interior of the bus suddenly feeling far too small as they watched the floor. Music filled the air as Mozart's magic began working to enhance his allies.

A long moment passed.

". . Maybe she's dead?" Kiyohime optimistically suggested.

"We're not that lucky," Nobunaga scoffed, sword and muskets ready.

Another long moment passed.

Then suddenly the ground split open and something dark blue and golden emerged. "Fire!" Nikki shrieked, and sword beams, arrows, waves of blue flame, bullets, three distinct spears, bolts of magical energy and a stray bottle of lotion from the jacuzzi struck the unfortunate Bicorn as it struggled out of the bus' guts. It screamed in pain as it died.

"Wow," Everyone collectively started and span on their heels to see Boudica had burst through the wall behind the jacuzzi and was curiously inspecting the Super Bus' selection of hair gel, apparently entirely unbothered by their attention. "I sure am glad that wasn't me. Now then," She squeezed, and the bottle of conditioner trapped between her sausage-like fingers exploded, reaching out with her other hand to latch around Nikki's upper arm and bodily lift her into the air. "Shall we resume?"

"Hold your fire!" Tyler somewhat unnecessarily instructed the Servants, casting a concerned look at the hostage. "What do you want?"

"To destroy Rome. I thought I made that very clear," Boudica sardonically informed him, clenching her free hand. "Oh, you mean with this girl? Well," A leer crossed her face. "I want a human shield,"

Then she charged, holding Nikki to her side and slamming into Lucius and Altria like a bulldozer, slapping Excalibur aside with enough force to remove it from the Saber's hand. Lucius was thrown into the wall, stunned, while Boudica trapped Altria in a bear hug and then threw her out of the bus, forcing the doors to explode open.

Somewhat belatedly, Tarquinius emerged from his seat, muscles ripping under his glittery white coat. "I think it's time that you and I had a tussle, missy," he growled.

A buzzsaw-like chariot wheel appeared in Boudica's hand and she cast it at him like a frisbee, catching him in the jaw and sending him flying straight through the windscreen of his own bus in an explosive shower of glass that handily removed him from the fight.

In the second Boudica had her back turned, Kiyohime leapt on her like a feral animal, extremities alight with blue flame and making the queen's flesh sizzle. "Get out of our bus!" she roared, staying in Boudica's blind spot and latching onto her armour with claws of flame, using one hand to claw at her eyes.

"You really want to use fire against the one who burned Londinium? Pointless!" Boudica bellowed, "Killing Instinct!" and a wave of malice so focused it was almost physical washed over everyone in her vicinity. Still caught by Boudica's grasp, Nikki let out a strangled squeak as Kiyohime, stunned, fell to the ground and was promptly kicked away.

Tyler crouched protectively over Nero and gestured. "Joan! Get Nikki out of there!"

"My pleasure!" Spiked flagpole back in hand, Joan charged - and was immediately presented with the limp Master.

She hesitated, unwilling to harm an ally, which gave Boudica an opening to punch her straight through the door that led into the bus' toilet. "What are you, a Ruler? Don't even try it, your Class Container's defences mean less than nothing to me!"

A faint whimper escaped Joan's throat as she was presented with her own uselessness, and Boudica was advancing on her, intending to crush her Spirit Core with her bare hands, but an orchestral crescendo of positively delightful music drew her attention, sending uncontrollable shivers through her body.

Mozart, still standing well at the back of the group, had stepped out from where he was hiding behind Elizabeth and was conducting a chorus of angels as they floated around him. "Listen to my Angel's Melody," he crooned. "Let it soothe your -"

Elizabeth ducked, and a spinning chariot wheel flew over her head, striking Mozart in the temple and sending him sprawling against the wall. Watching this, Tyler couldn't help but wince and mumble, "Male Casters, huh?"

"This is too cramped," Boudica spat, turning and squeezing through the doors, landing outside the bus - and, not by coincidence, crushing a recovering Altria beneath her feet as she did. "If you want a piece of me, come out here!"

The Servants rallied, but Tyler stepped forwards. "Your goal is to destroy Rome, yeah? So why are you here fighting us?"

"Hah, simple. My dear old Master has a better plan to wipe out Rome more thoroughly than anything I could do on my lonesome. He just needs me to stop you lot for long enough to see it to fruition, then I can rampage to my heart's content! Which suits me fine, as I feel like you'd all interrupt my fun on principle or something regardless. I won't be able to rest easy until you're all dead, so might as well yeah?"

Tyler whistled through his teeth. "Shit. She's only the mid-boss. We need to take her down, and quick,"

"I understand," Lucius assured him. "Nobunaga, if you would?"

"Would I ever!" Nobunaga's muskets ratcheted into place and she yelled, "Eat this!" Bullets shot through the space, moving too quickly for Boudica to use Nikki as a shield again, and peppered her armour and exposed flesh.

"Now, Kiyohime, blind her," Lucius instructed, and with a nod from her Master the humanised serpent charged in again, a corona of blue flames erupting around her. This time, though, Boudica brought Nikki's limp body up to serve as a shield, and with a squeak the Berserker hastily aborted. Her moment of hesitation was enough for Boudica to conjure and kick a blunt impact chariot wheel at her, sending Kiyohime flying into the middle distance.

But Lucius had moved in behind her, ducking low and to the right, then bringing his spear to stab deep into Boudica's hip. His voice was resolute as his spear lit up with holy light, and he said, "Spear of Destiny: Longinus!"

Boudica staggered, tanking the blow, and as she stumbled, for a moment Nikki's closed eyelids flickered.

Lucius pulled back his spear, ripping it out of the Queen with a spray of viscera. "That's it. I've cracked your Spirit Core. You've lost, it's over,"

The Avenger heaved a ragged breath, then turned to face him, red hair like flames framing the infuriated disdain that was painted across her features. "Yeah, I see. That's a fatal blow alright," she grimaced. "I should probably die right here and now. But, you're a Lancer, right? Ever hear of Battle Continuation?"

Lucius recoiled. "Oh no,"

Boudica leered at him, baring her teeth. "You don't get to tell me when it's over, Roman," she leered. "I am Avenger, and even if my very life is crushed underfoot, I won't stop destroying the things that I hate! Starting with you!" She paused for a second, gathering her strength, then leapt into action. "Raze Everything To The Ground: Destroy Camulodunum!"

Nikki was cast into the air like a doll, freeing Boudica's other hand, as she brought a fist down on Lucius' foot, crushing it into the ground, then brought it back and put her other fist into his other foot, similarly squashing it. Her fist came down again on his lower leg, snapping the bone into pieces, then did the same to his other leg, and then she targeted his kneecaps.

Methodically, torturously, she worked her way up Lucius' body, keeping him pinned and trapped by repeated blows holding him to the ground even as his leg bones were ground to splinters. Then his pelvis was ground and flattened, and then she started working on his ribcage as he choked up blood . . and then Spiritrons.

Nikki regained consciousness fully just in time to see the moment when Lucius' Spirit Core gave out, and his corporeal form disintegrated into golden dust.

Panting heavily, Boudica spat a bloody globule of saliva at where he had fallen. "Good riddance," As Nikki fell back towards her, Boudica casually caught her with one arm and draped her hostage over her armoured shoulder.

"I'll kill you for that! Eat Mana Burst!" Both Master and Avenger turned slightly to see Altria, still bereft of sword but instead having somehow snatched up Lucius' spear - the weapon beginning to disintegrate but held together by a short-lived eruption of mana - about to stab Boudica straight through the neck.

Boudica caught the spearhead in her hand, ignoring the bloody welts it cut into her flesh, and slammed Altria into the ground. Longinus lost cohesion and fully evaporated, and the corrupted king's armour cracked as her spine carved a new dent into the ground. "I'm on a time limit now? That's fine. I'm sure I'll hold out long enough to finish you all!"

Nikki went pale as her Saber scrambled backwards, Boudica advancing towards Altria with lethal intent. "No," she mouthed, words so silent even a Servant couldn't hear them. "Not again, not her. Now, more than ever, I really need us to get lost!"

Her magic circuits flared, and for a moment the world around her went dark as Boudica advanced on her prone Servant.

For that brief second, Nikki would have assumed she'd blinked . . if it weren't for the fact that she could still see Boudica, hoisting her by the shoulder, in stark relief against the darkness.

Then the world around them was replaced with an alleyway somewhere in Rome, and Boudica looked around in confusion. "This shit again?!"

As the Avenger rounded on her, red mane framing her snarl, occurred to Nikki somewhat belatedly that she'd just separated herself and their enemy from the rest of her allies.

"Okay! I've got a bone to pick with you, specifically!" Boudica roared, tossing her into the air with one hand as her other tree-like arm lashed out and wrapped around Nikki's neck, pinning her against a wall. "I don't know what that weird perspective warping shit you've been spamming at me is supposed to be, but it's been giving me a damn headache so knock it off!"

Nikki paused, momentarily forgetting she was being choked. "Wait! You can tell what's happening when I get lost?!"

"You don't know what Oblivion Correction does, do you? Perception filters, memory tweaks, none of it works on me," the Avenger huffed. "Yeah, of course I can tell," She paused, and a twisted smile emerged on her lips. "Oh, you can't?" Suddenly she laughed, a harsh, baritone noise that sent globules of saliva splattering across Nikki's face and torso. "Well in that case, I'm definitely not telling you! That's the funniest damn thing I've heard since being summoned! Haha! Little baby magus doesn't even know that she's - oops," She sneered and dropped Nikki, letting her land in a heap. "Bah, you're not even worth it. Why did I think a hostage was a good idea? You're getting in my way too fucking much. Now," She stepped over Nikki and kicked her back towards the middle of the alleyway. "Where are we?"

Five hundred metres of destroyed Rome away, Chaldea was rallying. Tyler and the rest of the Servants who were still standing emerged from the bus, the boy grunting as he lifted Excalibur and returned it to its owner. "Thanks," Altria grunted.

"No problem. Liz, you're still hurt. Don't engage if you can avoid it, just protect Nero," Tyler instructed.

"O-okay," Elizabeth bit her lip but nodded, remaining in the wrecked Super Bus, standing in front of the still-unconscious Nero Claudius.

With Mozart and Tarquinius out of it, Kiyohime missing, and Lucius dead, Euryale and Nobunaga perched on top of the bus, ready to provide fire support and background music as Lily, Altria and Joan gathered together around Tyler, Caliburn, Excalibur and Crocea Mors at the ready. "Master, you shouldn't stand so close to us," Lily admonished him.

"First Aid," Tyler cast, patching up the worst of Altria's injuries. "I'm here and I can help. I trust you all to defend me. I don't have much Magecraft, but you're my friends so I'm not going to let you do this without me. I am however going to try to keep at least one of you between me and Boudica at all times, though, because I'm not suicidal,"

"That's the best we're gonna get," Joan dryly pointed out, and Lily sighed but nodded. "I'll accept it,"

A sudden shriek alerted them, and they span to see Boudica had somehow gotten behind Nobunaga. Euryale, who'd been watching her back, was frantically trying to bury an arrow in her eye, but her low power and panic made her efforts functionally useless and she was quickly knocked away by an off-handed kick. "You," Boudica growled at Nobunaga, "are a pain in the ass and I'm sick of it,"

"Round three, huh? I'm game!"

"Third time's the charm. This time, you get everything," Boudica growled, ducking low as Nobunaga

She span on her heel, yanking Nobunaga off her feet, and threw her to the ground on the far side of the Super Bus from Tyler and his support.

"Vampirism!" Euryale desperately tried, and Boudica staggered a bit as purple energy was visibly drained from her body and seeped into Euryale's pores. "That pisses me off," she growled, and the gorgon had only a second to relish her small victory before a chariot wheel struck her in the face and sent her sprawling.

"Oi! Take this!" Joan yelled and threw her flagpole like a javelin, where it dug into Boudica's armour and inflicted a puncture wound to her gut.

The Iceni Queen leapt down and gripped the flagpole spear, ripping it from her chest and gripping it like a halberd. "Thanks. I will take it," she scoffed. "So are you three all that's left? So much for the great and glorious Chaldea. Saviours of humanity. Pssh,"

"You bite your goddamn tongue!" Altria barked. "Now, Lily! Sword of Promised Victory: Excalibur Morgan!"

In unison, the younger, purer version of herself also brought up her sword. "Golden Sword of Promised Victory: Caliburn!"

Boudica braced herself as twin beams of red-black and golden-white light erupted from the two holy swords, forming an X with her in the centre. She raised her arms and countered with her own Noble Phantasm, roaring, "Chariot Without Promised Protection: Chariot of Boudica!"

The crested, ornate curve of her chariot's front, reinforced with additional layers of crackling blue energy, formed before her an instant before the twin sword beams struck it, driving it backwards and taking its owner with it. She was blasted backwards and hit the side of the bus, struggling with a groan against the onslaught of energy, discarding Joan's flagpole to brace both hands against her defensive Noble Phantasm even as the dual onslaught sent cracks running through her armour.

With a bellow of "Killing Intent!" she stomped on the ground, and the earth shook as a psychic wave of malice erupted from her, disrupting both Sabers' stance and interrupting their concentration. The sword beams petered out, and in the brief moment of distraction as Lily stumbled, Boudica crossed the distance in a flash and brought both fists down on her head, slamming the immature Servant into the ground as though she were playing Whack-A-Mole.

Altria swung with mad fury, and Excalibur bit into Boudica's arm to the bone. The battered Avenger gritted her teeth, but swept the weapon aside and lunged for Altria -

"Emergency Evade!" Tyler barked, and purple light shrouded the Saber as she juked out of the way, taking advantage of Boudica lunging forwards and bringing Excalibur down on her spine.

Boudica turned, roaring in fury, and brought her palms together. A meaty thwack heralded a wave of displaced air that was unbothered by Altria's attempt to use Excalibur to block, and the shockwave knocked her off her feet and sent her crashing to the ground. The Queen followed up by launching into the air and bringing both feet down on Altria's chest, crushing her into the floor.

"She's gotta be on her last legs, right? How can she still . . is this because Lev used the Grail to empower her?" Tyler breathed in dismay.

After punching Altria one more time, Boudica rounded on Tyler and Joan - the last two enemies standing. "Don't feel bad for losing, kids. You put up a good fight," she grunted, heaving out ragged breaths and trying to hide her limp as she stomped towards them. "Hell, that damn legionnaire really got me. I feel like I'm two minutes from falling over and not getting up. But two minutes is plenty of time,"

Tyler flinched, but forced himself to stand next to his Servant. "If you expect us to lie down and die, you'll be sorely disappointed. We've got a couple of tricks left,"

"Too right, Master," Jeanne raised the sword that Julius Caesar has entrusted to her. "Crocea Mors!"

Boudica paused, recognising the Noble Phantasm for what it was. "Huh. Caesar left me a going away present, then?"

A moment passed as the sword failed to activate.

"Crocea Mors," Joan repeated, gritting her teeth.

"Don't even bother, that weak little man intentionally crippled himself to make himself less useful to me. Even if a half-baked fake Servant like you could get that sword to work, it wouldn't do anything to me. A crappy third-rate Saber can't even touch me,"

"Crocea Mors?" the false Maiden of Orleans plaintitively pleaded.

There was no response from the weapon, and Boudica reached forwards and snatched its blade. Her greater strength made it trivial to rip the weapon from Joan's hands, and she regarded it disdainfully. "Useless until the end. There truly is no name more worthless than Caesar," she scoffed.

Then she took the hilt in her other hand and, before their eyes, snapped the blade in half over her knee, releasing the pieces and letting them clatter to the ground.

Tyler and Joan's eyes followed the pieces of the sword as they clattered to the ground, bounced and settled around Boudica's feet.

"You know, boy. You're not Roman and you actually showed me a modicum of respect. If you want to run away, I suppose I could allow it," Boudica addressed Tyler, shaggy eyebrows twitching upwards. "If you're fast enough anyway," she added in a tone of fatigued triumph.

His breath caught in his throat, but without hesitation, the Master of Chaldea's hand found Joan's wrist, despite the fact that she was paralysed in place. "I'm not leaving my friends,"

Boudica's smile faded, and a grumpy grunt escaped her lips. "Fine. If you really want me to kill the both of you so bad, I'll oblige,"

While this exchange had been going on, though, Joan had been frozen in place, her mind racing furiously.

Crocea Mors hadn't worked.

For the second time, she'd been unable to use a Noble Phantasm.

Was it Caesar's fault or was it hers?

Caesar had been certain it would work, so the fault had to be with the hands holding his sword.

Boudica was too powerful, whether it was because of her own toughness or Lev's enhancements didn't matter. Crocea Mors wouldn't have been enough to kill him anyway.

There wasn't anything Chaldea's forces could do to match or overcome her.

She was useless, Rulers were too defensive by nature and Boudica had demonstrated those defences meant nothing.

Everyone she cared about was about to die.

Tyler was about to die.

What was she willing to give up to protect him? Her status as a Ruler? That was worthless anyway, just another chain tying her to Jeanne d'Arc.

Her ability to exist independently of Chaldea's system?

. . . If she had to.

She still had one trump card that Boudica hadn't seen yet.

If Boudica was this strong because a Holy Grail was backing her up . . two could play at that game.

"I wish . . for a Noble Phantasm . . strong enough to destroy her,"

The world around her vanished, the night sky of a destroyed Rome replaced by the phantasmal image of a tower reaching towards a sky dominated by a great red light. An angry, burning meteor, like a second, much larger sun, cast her vision in a red glow, but underneath its light she saw . .

She saw herself, or someone that could have been herself, with a hazy and faceless figure, dancing together and sending a silky black dress fluttering and rippling with her motion. The unknown person turned away as they approached, and her elegant doppelgänger met her eyes with yellow orbs of her own. "So," the alternate version of herself drawled, "You finally decided to reach out huh?"

"What is this?" Joan mouthed, but no sound came out.

Nonetheless, the other woman who looked like her smiled wryly and bobbed her head, the purple flower pinned to her hair bouncing with the motion. "Does it matter? This is the power you want, right? You're not gonna say 'actually no thanks',"

A smile tugged at Joan's lips. "Yeah, I got questions, but they can wait. If what you're offering lets me save him, then that's all that matters,"

The other her, the Avenger she could be, smiled. "Don't get the wrong idea, though, don't even think about dying for him. There's nothing worse than having regrets, and if you waste your chances like that, you will regret it. So, you ready?"

A firm nod was enough of a response, and the vision vanished.

Tyler and Boudica started as Joan's chest erupted with golden light. Her black dress and armour stitched itself together, and her flagpole flew back into her hand, the flag wrapping tight around the shaft as the golden corona flared around it. The Holy Grail inside her chest shone with magical energy as a massive chunk of its power was expended, golden light stained with red and purple, colours that tainted the aura enveloping her and rapidly consumed it. Joan's aura flickered and burst outwards, turning into raging phantom flames that danced across her pale skin and erupted from her yellow eyes.

X

In the control room, Dr. Roman, who had been watching the screens with growing dismay, squawked in disbelief. "What is it, Romani?" Olga-Marie pressed.

"It's Joan's Spirit Origin, it's changing! She's overwriting her own existence somehow, she's . . she's turning herself into another Avenger!"

X

A hateful glare crossed Joan's face as she levelled her flagpole at Boudica, dark and fiery energy coalescing around her. "All evil is here," she growled. "The time for revenge has come! This is the roar of my soul," Flames erupted from the ground around Boudica, five pillars of fire penning her in. The barbarian queen started, looking around in confusion. "Roar, My Fury: La Grondement Du Haine!"

The ground under Boudica's feet erupted with flames that consumed her, catching her clothes and even her armour, burning its way into her flesh and consuming her from the feet up. "What is this?!" For the first time, the Avenger sounded panicked. "You can't be - how are you doing this?!"

"I am the hatred of a Jeanne d'Arc that never was, born when she burned at the stake. You think you know fire? You may like to burn things, but I am fire. I was born in it. It'll burn you if I tell it to. As to the how? A Holy Grail covers a multitude of sins," Joan growled, raising her flagpole, and the flames redoubled, charring Boudica's flesh and cooking her straight through to her Spirit Core.

"Doesn't matter!" Boudica bellowed, lunging at them, only to get caught when the bars of flames around her proved more solid than she'd expected. "I am the One Who Burned Londinium! Fire cannot touch me!"

Joan considered this, then tched. "Fair enough. But unlike you, who threw away all her allies for her revenge? I'm not alone,"

"Lily, by the power of my Command Spell, destroy her with your Noble Phantasm!" Tyler instructed, sliding out from behind her with a finger pressed to his magical tattoos.

Boudica turned to the left, taking in the sight of the young Saber in her dust-encrusted white armour, her sword already flashing with light as red energy turned to golden-white. Despite her visible fatigue, the Command Spell's power reinvigorated her just enough to let her bring her sword forwards in a thrust, which slid neatly between the bars of the cage. "Golden Sword of Promised Victory: Caliburn!" The golden light passed through the unhealed wound that Lucius' earlier strike had left in Boudica's guts, and erupted around the Avenger's Spirit Core, rapidly annihilating it even as she raged against her flaming prison.

Her protests and struggles faded as the realisation set in that it was pointless, there was no way to escape her demise. Boudica matched the newborn Avenger's gaze as she staggered, seeing the steely glare in Joan's eyes. "You're willing to go this far, are you?" she asked through gritted teeth, blocking out the pain.

"Naturally,"

"What do you mean?" Tyler, completely lost, looked between them, bathed by the fringe of Joan's flaming aura but unburnt, "Joan that was amazing but what -"

"You're really willing to consign yourself to the life of an Avenger for this sake of this boy?" Boudica growled as her hair caught alight.

"Pfft. I was already the evil one, this is just making it official. And if it means saving him, saving everyone," As the flames consumed her, Joan growled, "I don't mind getting my hands dirty,"

"Good," Boudica choked out through charred lips, still gripping the bars of the flaming cage Joan had erected around her. "Cruel irony that once again, my life ends in a cage," With that, she vanished into the flames, and for a long moment they burned.

It was only when she felt her reserves reach the threshold that Joan cut off the magic, and the fire around her and the remains of Boudica died. She dropped, falling to one knee, and at once Tyler was crouched before her, wrapping his arms around her neck. "Are you okay?" both asked each other in almost perfect synchronisation.

Tyler snorted, but Joan released a full-bellied laugh, which quickly turned into a cough. "That . . ah,"

"What was that?" her Master pressed.

"We wouldn't have beaten her without being able to match her. So I used a big chunk of what was left in my Holy Grail . . and turned myself into an Avenger to give myself a Noble Phantasm that would work," Joan explained. She bit her lip, and her gaze softened. "Is that . . okay? Will you . . still . ." Love me like this, she couldn't quite bring herself to say.

". . you know, in my time the Avengers are a group of superheroes. I think you deserve to be called a superhero," Tyler assured her with a smile, blinking away tears.

Joan paused, processing this, then spluttered. "Oh my god, you're such a dumb geek!"

And then he was laughing, and she was laughing, and she realised that things would be alright.

X

One by one, the bruised and battered Chaldeans gathered together. A fuming Kiyohime was the last to rejoin the group, on the heels of a groaning Nikki.

"We're not done yet, everyone. Lev's still around here somewhere," the bluenette reminded them. "We need to find him and beat him. So. Plan time,"

"I can't keep fighting," Joan reluctantly told her. "I'm running on empty. If I try to keep going now, I'll . ." Lose my ability to stay manifested without Chaldea. "collapse," she lied.

"Understood. Is anyone else at their limit?"

"I'm still recovering too," Elizabeth rasped.

"I'll be fine, I . ." Altria choked, rubbing her chest, trying to hide the fact that she was using Excalibur as a crutch,

"Yeah, no, you're benched too Altria. Euryale, Nobbu, how about you?"

"I can do this all day," Nobunaga bragged.

"What she said," Euryale sighed, "if I have to,"

"Right. Tarquinius?"

"I'll get back to ya in a second, darlin', just as soon as I catch the little birdies flutterin' around my noggin!" the Rider yelled, incoherently swatting at some avian product of his imagination that was fluttering around his head.

". . I'll take that as a no," Nikki winced. "Anyone else?"

"Oh, woe is me, I could not possibly take another step!" Mozart faux sobbed.

"Yeah, you're fine. Looks like we've got Lily, Kiyohime, Mozart, Nobunaga, and Euryale to fight Lev. This is workable,"

"Ah, but you've forgotten someone!" Huffing and stomping as she approached, a familiar voice interrupted, and Nikki span to see Nero Claudius joining the group. "We are about to engage in a battle for the fate of my Rome! So don't even think about doing this without me!"

Nikki raised her eyebrows, then she smiled. "Alright, we're got you too, Nero. Happy to have you along,"

"If this Lev's goal is to destroy Rome, he will most likely be hunting down my senators. Cut off the head of the snake, and the rest will follow. Therefore, we can probably find him at the Forum. We must make haste, we haven't any time to spare!" Nero insisted, starting in the direction of the Forum.

". . Well, you all heard her. Tyler, stay here and keep an eye on the back line. If anyone recovers enough to come and help us, you know where to tell them to go. Everyone else?" A grim smile crossed Nikki's face. "Time to save Rome,"

Chapter Text

Profile: Boudica (Avenger)

Class: Avenger

True Name: Boudica

Sex: Female

Source: Historical Fact

Region: Europe

Alignment: Neutral Evil

Height: 179

Weight: 72kg

Character Info:

I will grind Rome to dust under the wheels of my chariot!

. . . No, I don't want to say anything else, nothing else matters.

What do you mean we have a quota to fill?

Fine. Um. I also enjoy cooking and long walks through the ruins of my enemies' cities. Happy?

Strength: A

Constitution: A+

Agility: B

Magical Power: B+

Luck: D

Noble Phantasm: A

Class Skills:

Oblivion Correction: C

Though humanity, and even other versions of Boudica, may forget the horrors inflicted by the Romans, she never will.

Avenger Of 200,000: EX

In this form Boudica takes into herself the condensed hatred of the various barbarian tribes that united under her rule to destroy the Roman Empire and uses it as the source of her magical energy. It is a finite resource, and should it be expended she will find herself radically de-powered, however the quantity of hatred is so great that it is highly unlikely that this will ever happen.

Self-Replenishment (Magical Energy): D-

A skill provided by the Avenger Class Container. Being sustained and empowered by the Grail has made this skill all but irrelevant. Boudica in her current form considers it to be useless.

Personal Skills:

Battle Continuation: A+

The ability to continue combat. Combat is possible even while bearing injuries that place one on the verge of death, and they can remain alive for a limited period of time even after receiving a decisive fatal wound. Boudica's anecdote of her having continued to battle against the mighty Roman Imperial Army with an indomitable fighting spirit has been changed into this Skill.

Phantasmal Riding (Fake): B+

Boudica can freely handle all vehicles and beasts, including low-ranked Phantasmal Beasts. Those with a high Phantasmal Beast ranking or a Divine Beast ranking are unaffected. This is not a skill that Boudica should be able to possess, but has been upgraded from Riding A through use of a Demon God Pillar's magecraft. As a result, she can only use this skill on Phantasmal Beasts that have been similarly altered to obey her commands.

One Who Burned Londinium C+

As the figure who led the burning of Londinium, Boudica possesses an affinity for fire. She is immune to non-magical fire and takes reduced damage from any type of magical flame.

Killing Intent B+

By releasing some of the accumulated hatred from Avenger of 200,000 EX, Boudica is capable of launching a shockwave of pure lethal intent, disorienting any enemy within range and briefly stunning anyone who cannot weather a psychic assault.

Demon God Affiliate B

Boudica's Spirit Core has been altered by the magecraft of the Demon God Pillar Flauros. As a result, her Strength, Constitution and Magical Power are all 1-2 ranks higher than they would naturally be.

Protection of ? EX

This skill doesn't do anything. The fact that it has replaced Protection of Andraste A is entirely unimportant. Boudica is unaware that she possesses this skill.

Noble Phantasms:

Chariot Without Promised Protection:  Chariot of Boudica

Rank: A

Classification: Anti-Army Noble Phantasm

Range: 2

Maximum Number of Targets: 50 people

A chariot. Its proper form is a chariot drawn by two fine horses. It represents Britannia, and as Britannia is a symbol of protection, it boasts high durability capabilities. In this form, the horses have been replaced with Bicorn-type Phantasmal Beasts through the use of Demon God magecraft, but it is otherwise unchanged.

By releasing its True Name, the chariot makes its appearance and protects Boudica. Its proper use is to function as a "shield" to protect comrades, but in this form it is only capable of protecting Boudica herself.

United Tribes of Britannia:  Army of Boudica

Rank: A+

Classification: Anti-Army Noble Phantasm

Range: 1~99

Maximum Number of Targets: 230,000

A recreation of the army that Boudica commanded at the height of her glory. Because she did not possess bonds with each individual of her army, many of the warriors included are exact duplicates of each other with simple personalities and no individuality. Furthermore the energy requirements for manifesting this Noble Phantasm are prohibitive enough that Boudica cannot deploy it without an external power source of incredible power.

Raze Everything To The Ground:  Destroy Camulodunum

Rank: C

Classification: Anti-Personnel Noble Phantasm

Range: 1~5

Maximum Number of Targets: 1 person

A technique that imitates Boudica's destruction of Camulodunum. Just as she and her people systematically razed the Roman city to the ground, destroying even the foundation, this Noble Phantasm is a series of consecutive blows that are carefully measured to erode its target's very existence. This Noble Phantasm increases in power if used against an individual claiming affiliation with Rome. Because the razing of Camulodunum was a group effort, this Noble Phantasm cannot be used to its full potential if Boudica does not have some kind of ally supporting her, even from a distance.

Chapter Text

"This time, we need a plan," Nikki told the group as they walked.

"What's to plan? We go in and we kick ass!" Nobunaga shrugged.

"No, our Master has a point," Euryale shook her head. "That man is immune to Plan E,"

". . And?" Nero quirked an eyebrow.

"You don't get it! No man should be immune to plan E! That's how it works! If they are capable of feeling love for a woman, they will succumb to my charms! Anything else just shouldn't be possible unless he has . . god-level Magic resistance or something!"

"My point is that the fight against Boudica did not go well," Nikki interrupted. "We were reacting. She surprised us with that defensive Noble Phantasm, and had us on the back foot and completely controlled the fight. And we lost Lucius because of it. This time, we need to do better," Nikki clenched her fists, looking down. "It's my fault, too,"

"How do you mean?" Lily piped up.

"I got caught off guard when they stopped chasing us to attack Rome. We were on the clock and Tarquinius started driving, and I should have made a plan, done something, but I froze up again! Agh!" She kicked a loose chunk of debris in frustration, sending it skidding away and causing a dull ache to blossom in her toes.

Breathing heavily, she paused, realising the assorted Servants were staring at her, with the exception of Kiyohime who was just grumbling and continuing to walk, blind to a world that didn't contain her Master.

"You're angry at yourself for not fighting well enough," Nero bluntly observed. "Good. That means you're motivated to do better this time. So, umu! What's the plan, tactician of Chaldea?"

Nikki's cheeks went pink. "Tactician . . of," she squeakily parroted.

"Ah, come on, he's one human Magus, how big a threat could be he?" Nobunaga scoffed while Nikki was recollecting her thoughts from the unexpected new epithet.

She shook her head, flashing back to when they'd lost Cu at the Greater Grail of Fuyuki. "We encountered him before, and he turned into some kind of giant tentacle with hundreds of eyes in Singularity F. No reason to believe he won't do it again if he thinks we pose a threat to him. Besides, you saw how hard it was to defeat Boudica. Her strength, her sheer endurance - she kept fighting even after Lucius cracked her Spirit Core. Battle Continuation or no, that's not natural, and I'm certain it's because Lev used some of whatever he has up his sleeve to empower her. And he's still got at least one Servant protecting him, too, so we might be in for another fight that's just as bad,"

"Another Emperor of Rome, we can assume?" Euryale checked, and her Master nodded. "In that case, I'll focus on him. Even if Lev is immune to my charm I doubt his Servant will share that status. Unless," she paused and cast an askance glance at Nero. "Were any of the other Roman Emperors secretly women?"

In response, Nero just shrugged, which was spectacularly unhelpful.

"That's fine, we just need to make a backup plan," Nikki assured them. "Alright, so here's what we're going to do,"

X

"Lev Lainur!" Nikki yelled as she walked through a doorway.

A mystified Roman citizen stared in confusion at the strangely dressed woman who'd just walked into his house, and Nikki had the grace to look bashful. "Sorry, wrong door,"

She strode back out of the house and tried again, barking, "Lev Lainur, it's about time!"

"This is the men's baths, go away you pervert!"

"Eep!" Nikki stumbled back out before people could start throwing balled-up togas at her.

"I think 'Plan Dramatic Entrance' is a bust," Nobunaga advised her.

"Nonsense! A suitably dramatic entrance is mandatory!" Nero corrected them. "Allow me to lead the way this time. My Imperial Privilege will take us straight to him,"

Nikki regarded her, confused. "That's a Servant ability. Tarquinius has that. You're human. . . . What?"

"No time for questions!" Nero barked, charging ahead and dragging the rest of Chaldea straight into the Forum's entrance.

Sure enough, Lev was there. He was standing over a large and intricate ritual circle with the Holy Grail ia t its centre. He was guarded by a tall man wearing distinctly Roman armour, with dull red eyes, a glowing green collar around his neck, and skin so tanned that he looked like he'd been left in the oven for too long.

Lev drew breath to inhale, but Nikki and Nero, half a second apart, each shouted, "Lev Lainur!"

". . Why did you do that?" Nikki frowned.

"I was leading the way! Announcing us was my prerogative, umu!" Nero pointed out.

"But I'm the Master here! He's my enemy, I've got history with him! You've never even met the guy before!"

"I am Emperor of Rome and he's been laying waste to my city! He's just as much my enemy as yours!"

"He killed Cu Chulainn!"

"In the interests of expediency," Flauros interrupted, his baritone voice drowning them out, "I'm going to insist that you two buffoonish humans nip this in the bud," Both of his enemies glanced at him. "I've also grown quite tired of your insistence on referring to me by that name. I am Flauros. Lev Lainur never existed, he was a facade that has outlived his usefulness. I would say he shares that with you, Master of Chaldea, but that would imply that you were ever something other than useless,"

Nikki cast him her best attempt at a disdainful look. "Yeah, yeah, I'm the useless magus with a useless Crest. Heard it all before. Y'now, for someone who's so proud of having destroyed the Clock Tower, I'm surprised you're still spouting off -"

"No!" Flauros bellowed. "You still don't understand what you're facing, human! I don't care about those petty Magus politics, you are human and therefore entirely lacking in value!"

The Master tilted her head, blue locks listing sideways as an eyebrow quirked. "Well, that's sort of rude. You're human too, you know, you shouldn't put yourself down like that," she simpered.

A vein bulged on Flauros' forehead, and inwardly, Nikki smiled. There was a lesson she'd picked up in the Clock Tower from dealing with arrogant maguses who didn't think she deserved to learn their secrets. There was no better way to trick someone into giving up valuable information than telling them you believed something you knew to be wrong. A person's natural desire to prove themselves superior with correct information was a precious weakness that she'd used to her advantage time and time again.

And it worked, because Flauros bellowed, "I most certainly am not human! I am a Demon God Pillar, superior to you in every way!"

. . Of course, Nikki reflected, that didn't mean she always got actionable information. Hopefully Dr. Roman or Da Vinci would know if 'Demon God Pillar' meant anything. "Right, I'll just take your word for it. What about this thing?" she asked, gesturing at the ritual circle that Flauros was evidently on the verge of completing. "I'm guessing you're trying to summon another Servant using the Forum as a catalyst?" It was immediately obvious that the ritual circle wasn't a summoning circle, but Flauros had already proven vulnerable to arrogance.

"Simple. This ritual will disrupt the ley lines that exist underneath Rome. You may not know this, but the city was founded at a point where no fewer than three ley lines intersect," Lev began to explain.

"Of course we know that!" Nero interrupted him. "Do you really think my ancestors just picked this spot randomly?"

"Indeed -" the Lancer tried to interject, but Lev eyed him.

"Silence, Lancer. The point is, the ley lines underneath this city have quite a lot of energy bottled up inside them, especially since this point in time is fresh out of the Age of Gods. It would be such a terrible catastrophe if someone were to crack that pipe open. Why, everything from here to the coast would be obliterated in an instant. Half of Italy would be uninhabitable for generations. It would be a fatal blow to the nation of Rome," A toothy, malevolent smile split Lev's face. "So I say, why don't we see just how big an explosion we can cause?"

Nikki considered this for a second, then burst out laughing.

". . What is it that you find so hilarious?" the enemy mage growled.

"Bwahahahahahaaa! Really? That's your plan? Really! That's perfect! Hehe . . you get that we're not just going to stand here and let that happen," Nikki leered at him through pearls of laughter.

"Well, yes, of course you won't. Lancer, keep them busy. I need to put a few finishing touches on this, then I'll join you," Lev commanded.

"No, no, haha," Drawing herself to her full height, Nikki bared her teeth in a grin. "I mean that we're not letting that happen, and we're not going to stand here. Nero, Mozart, do the thing,"

"I resent being ordered around, umu. But can't deny that your sense of dramatic timing is perfect," Angelic music hummed in the background as Mozart empowered Nero, and a golden ritual circle erupted around her feet, quickly spreading in all directions and totally enveloping both Lev's mostly-complete ley line bomb apparatus as well as both their enemies and most of the Forum, as Nero rapidly chanted, "Behold my glory, hear the thunderous applause! Sit down and praise my Golden Theatre!"

Lev grumbled as the building around them warped and was replaced with the Golden Theatre. "Your Noble Phantasm is very impressive, but-" He dropped one more reagent into the ritual circle and stamped his foot on it.

However, the ritual failed to activate. "-it's already . . not working. It's not working? What did you do?!" Lev roared, rounding on the Chaldeans as his enslaved Servant looked on impassively.

"This isn't just any Noble Phantasm. This is a Reality Marble!" Nikki triumphantly corrected him. "Your ritual isn't in the right place anymore, there are no ley lines in here to blow up!"

The magus gritted his teeth. "You - you can't possibly have known what I was doing!"

"We didn't have to. We just knew that your goal was to destroy Rome, so we decided to keep you out of Rome until we defeat you! But even I didn't think it'd work this well!" Nikki triumphantly retorted.

Flauros roared. "Fine! I'll just kill you all and do it again! Starting with your precious fifth Emperor of Rome. Lancer, kill her!"

Slowly, impassively, fighting the command with every step, the tall, bronze-skinned warrior advanced on Chaldea. He raised his strange, feathered spear, and the ground split open, giant green vines breaking apart the stone floor of the Golden Theatre and lashing out at the Chaldeans, leafy spear tips and razor-sharp edges scattering the collective. Lily frantically shredded and deflected the offensive, buying time for Mozart to help Nero recover from the exertion of deploying her Golden Theatre for the second time that night.

"What is this? This is my Theatre, the manifestation of my authority as emperor! You ought not be able to conjure anything of the sort underneath this roof!" Nero protested.

For the first time, the soldier spoke, his stride breaking as he focused on Nero. "Indeed, your Theatre is marvellous," he agreed in a voice as deep and rich as layered honey, spreading his arms wide with palms flat. "It is a marvellous example of Roma," he intoned as he T-posed.

Nikki paused, quirking a confused eyebrow. "What is with that goofy pose?"

But it was affecting Nero entirely differently. "Roma? But - then -"

"Indeed, child. Your authority cannot constrain me, for I outrank you. I am the pinnacle of all that is Roman, the Holy founder of your nation. I am Romulus,"

"That's not possible . . you of all people can't be opposing . ." Nero trailed off, sinking to her knees and shaking her head in disbelief.

"Lies are not Roma," Romulus solemnly intoned.

Then a spray of gunfire knocked him into the dirt. Nobunaga cackled, muskets floating around her and brandishing her sword. "Romulus, yeah? The guy from 750 BC? Hahaha, sorry buddy but that's a real bad pick against me!"

"You shot the Holy Founder?!" Nero sounded almost scandalised.

"Uh, duh. He's our enemy! Get a grip! You wanna worship him or whatever, save it for after we get that slave collar off of him! Don't just sit there!" Nobunaga hollered.

"Nobu's right! He's still just another Servant! Euryale, plan E! Then everyone go wild!" Nikki commanded, hastening to Nero's side as the Servants leapt into action.

Euryale perched on the wall that separated the arena from the empty seats of the Golden Theatre and drew back her bow, chanting to herself. "Yea, I'll see it on your face. Goddess' Gaze: Eye of the Euryale!"

As Romulus calmly strode towards Nero, the arrow struck his hip and he stilled. ". . No. I have the Magic Resistance of the divine. I shall not be affected by Magecraft with less than three verses," he warned the Archer.

Then Saber Lily closed with him and took advantage of his distraction to land a powerful blow on the Lancer's chest, the sheer recoil knocking her slightly back and putting herself firmly between her Master and the enemy. "You can still get distracted," she snorted, renewing the offence.

"Such is Roma," Romulus defended himself both verbally and literally, bringing his spear around.

"Nero? What's wrong?" Nikki pressed, shaking the prone emperor.

"He's the Holy Founder," she mumbled, a glassy look in her eyes. "He's the one who defines what is and isn't Roman. How can I say that I'm fighting for Rome if he's opposing me?"

"Useless Servant of Humanity!" Flauros suddenly bellowed, seeing Romulus forced on the defensive under the combined onslaught of Lily drawing his attention with Euryale backing her up. Incensed by the criticism, Romulus redoubled his efforts, forcefully stepping forwards and knocking Caliburn to the side, quickly reversing the course of the fight.

Footsteps drew his attention, and he saw a green-haired dragon girl bearing down on him, flames at the ready. "The sooner I kill you the sooner I can get back to Master-sama!" Kiyohime roared, flaming claws extended and raking against a hastily-erected golden barrier. "I can't stand the thought of those European hussies being with him instead of me, and I'm gonna take it out on you!"

"Agh, I hate Berserkers!" Flauros exclaimed, beating her away.

Watching them clash, Nikki suddenly made a connection. "Kiyohime! Take his clothes off!"

The inane demand had both parties looking at her in incredulous disbelief. ". . Not even if he was Anchin reborn!" the Berserker retorted.

"Wha - not like that! I recognise that magecraft he's using, it's Dust of Osiris! It's a Mystic Code made by the Atlas Institute, he must have traded for it or something! It can grant temporary invulnerability! We need to get it off him!"

"Ohhhhhhh," Kiyohime realised, then grinned.

"Now - hang on," Flauros took a step back, and flashed gold as his moment of invulnerability ended.

"You're not worthy of this, so feel honoured. Stalking," Kiyohime triggered a Skill, then leapt at the magus with the full intention of stripping him to his underwear.

"Alright, listen, Nero," Nikki hissed, turning her attention back to the miserable Emperor. "Romulus doesn't want to be fighting us, remember? He's being controlled,"

"I know that, umu, but . . I can't fight him. He's the Holy Founder!" Nero protested.

"Oi, girlie. Listen," Nobunaga interjected, forcing Nero to her feet and locking eyes. "It's because he's the Holy Founder that you need to fight him,"

". . Umu?"

"Sure, he started the whole Roman shebang, but so what? That was like eight hundred years ago, right? Here and now, in the year 64 AD, is he Emperor of Rome, or are you?"

"I, I am, but -"

"No buts!" Nobunaga barked. "You are the Emperor! Rome goes where you want it to! If he didn't want someone else to take his place, he shouldn't have gone and died, now should he? But that doesn't matter either! You came here to fight for the fate of Rome, didn't you? Isn't it only right that you prove yourself worthy by overcoming your ancestor?"

"I . ." Nero paused, breathing, thinking, and the Archer was about to continue when a great red fan swung down on her.

"Emergency Evade!" Nikki cast, and Nobunaga's body seemingly moved on its own, sliding away. Nero looked up, and found herself unexpectedly face to face with Romulus, who was fending off Saber Lily while regarding her.

"Stand aside, King of Knights, Fool of Owari. I would look upon my child with my own eyes," the Holy Founder of Rome rumbled, striking Saber Lily hard enough to knock her a few feet away, then throwing out his arms and T-posing.

For a long moment, Nero's wide green eyes were tested by the dull red of Romulus'. For a second, his lip curled.

Seeing that expression - the beginnings of disgust, of disappointment - Nero's brows slid together. "No. I won't let you stand here and judge me. That woman is right, you may be my predecessor, but I reject your authority over me!" Rising to her full height, her sword seemed to appear in her hand, and she roared, "I am Nero Augustus Caesar Claudius Germanicus, the Fifth Emperor of Rome," For a second, she paused as words spoken by a hero crossed her mind.

"Of all the Roman emperors, you're the most famous. Right up there with Julius Caesar, and Romulus."

"And the greatest of all Roman emperors, past and future!" Nero bellowed. "I reject your authority over me because you may be my senior but I am your superior! If you would stand in the way of the Rome that I rule over, then you are my enemy and I will cut you down like any other!" She raised her sword, and slowly span it in a circle as flames crept along its length. "Clear the way! The emperor makes her passage! Sunlight of spring, dancing of flowers. The fragrant winds of June brush against your cheeks, blessing beyond the stars. Sing, Closing Rose That Fames Stars: Fax Caelestis!" she roared, bringing her sword back and throwing herself forwards in a powerful thrust that raked her blade across Romulus' ribcage.

Nero slid to a halt and relaxed, glancing back at her target. "No Magecraft with fewer than three verses affects you, umu? How do you feel about one with five?"

As blood erupted from his chest, Romulus smiled as he staggered. "Much better. Such a reaction . . I am proud to know that you have inherited the will of Roma,"

"Enough!" While this was happening, Flauros had decided sacrificing his Mystic Code was worth getting the advantage over Kiyohime, and had cast off his coat. The Berserker snatched it, and he took advantage of her momentary distraction to erupt with magic, a shockwave that threw her away as red smoke engulfed his body. "Clearly, I have to do this myself!" he declared, silhouette stretching, warping and growing.

The fighting momentarily paused as the smoke was blown away, leaving the Chaldean forces facing a towering monstrosity of red flesh, fifteen feet in diameter at the base and growing upwards until the tip of the massive tentacle unravelled into several slim strands. Circular stripes of blood-red eyes ran around its body, giving Flauros an omnidirectional view of his surroundings. A single tentacle snaked down and curled around the Holy Grail that had been abandoned on the ground when he lost his hands and pockets, flicking it into the air and holding it secure against the ceiling, out of Chaldea's reach.

Nikki immediately recognised the monstrous form she'd first seen in Fuyuki. "Oh shit. We planned for this, everyone! Shit just got real!"

"Nikki! His Mystic Code!" Kiyohime warned, tossing Lev's jacket to her.

With slight hesitance, Nikki caught it. "I really hope he didn't leave demon germs on this or something," she mumbled, focusing her magical energy on testing the spell contained inside the jacket.

"Romulus!" the monstrous pillar blared, "Use your Noble Phantasm!"

"Must I? Their fighting spirit is such a marvellous example of Roma," the founder plaintively asked his Master.

"You'd say the dirt on the bottom of my shoe is Roma, you blithering," Flauros cut himself off, realising he ought not to feed the digression, but it was too late.

"Indeed! Shoes are a marvellous hallmark of civilisation, they protect people's feet! They are wonderful examples of Roma!" Romulus agreed with a cheerful resumption of his T-pose.

A wave of demonic smog buffeted him, the Demon God Pillar's equivalent of a slap. "Kill them!"

The collar still wrapped tight around Romulus' neck lit up, and the breath left his lungs. "Very well," He drew his spear again, and planted it in the ground. "Come now, to Roma! All Things Lead To My Spear: Magna Voluisse Magnum!"

As the Servants braced for impact, it turned out that planting it was all too literal.

Massive wooden roots and tree trunks erupted from the ground, spreading and writhing in every direction as razor-sharp tree roots spread across the arena, locking into place and turning the battlefield into a wooden maze. Euryale escaped into the stands, joining Mozart in his place of refuge. Nero and Lily found themselves back to back, frantically hacking away at roots, and Kiyohime spread a circle of flame around herself and Nikki, doing her best to burn away the offending trees before they could strike.

Unfortunately, the flaming Berserker's best efforts didn't prevent a tree from ripping its way out of the ground and spearing into Nikki's Chaldea Uniform, hoisting her off her feet and into the air. Nikki screamed and struggled, and Kiyohime started beating at the branch to no avail.

Fortunately - perhaps deliberately - her predicament gave her a good view of a building surge of magic power around the Demon God Pillar. Was it leering specifically at her? Probably. The only thing to do was to leer right back, so Nikki gave Flauros her best evil eye and shrieked, "Incoming!" as a wave of pinkish-red smog that crackled with magic swept out from the giant form of Flauros, passing unhindered through the maze of roots and sweeping over Lily and Nero. Twin screams rang out, followed by Kiyohime hastily climbing up the tree to join Nikki at a safe elevation.

The smoke faded after a moment, leaving Lily and Nero stunned and prone, and to Nikki's horror the trees whipped towards them, about to stab straight through both Sabers' hearts.

"Sorry, can't have you killing those two," Nobunaga huffed, pressing a gun to the back of Romulus' neck. "You shouldn't use something from 750 BCE against the one who Unified The Nation By Force of Innovation (A). After all, it's like they say!" she declared, turning her conceptual advantage against all things ancient on full blast and pulling the trigger. "Out with the old and in with the new!"

Already weakened from Nero's earlier strike, the bullet ripped straight into Romulus' chest and ricocheted off his Spirit Core, cracking it straight through. The Lancer released his grip on his fan-spear and bent over, exhaling. "Well done, Fool of Owari . . I could use my Imperial Privilege . . prolong this fight and perhaps win," he wheezed. "But that . . would not . . be Roma," With those final words, he slumped to the ground and fell still.

Nikki hit the ground on all fours as the withering trees released her, and the roots wilted a moment before they could cut Nero's back open.

"How irritating. Perhaps I underestimated how ineffective it would be to compel Roman Servants to aid in the destruction of Rome," Flauros rumbled, watching Romulus' collapse. "No matter. I shall kill you myself," he rumbled, and began to concentrate magical energy.

". . Question, have we even damaged him?" Nikki asked the group at large.

"I've been shooting, and Mozart's been doing song magic to him this whole time, but he keeps regenerating!" Euryale yelled.

"I told you I wouldn't be able to help!" the composer yelled from his hiding place within one of the arches.

". . No, no I think you might be exactly what we need! What did you say your Noble Phantasm did? Forcibly reduces the enemy's parameters and inflicts a defence-bypassing curse on them?"

Mozart nodded. "Well, yes, but do you really think -"

"Use it!" Nikki instructed, watching one of Euryale's arrows fall out of Flauros' flesh, the wound healing over before her eyes. "He's regenerating quickly enough that we won't be able to wear him down! We need to weaken him!"

Mozart considered, and nodded. "Oh, very well! If you're sure!" He stepped out from the nook and raised his arms, and blinding white light erupted from his palms.

A chorus consisting of dozens of minute, cartoonish angels spread out from around him, filling the Golden Theatre and rapidly harmonising, each imitating instruments and between them creating a phantasmal orchestra. Mozart strode forwards, baton in hand, conducting his Noble Phantasm, and called, "Please enjoy, it is time for a public performance!" The golden light wove itself into musical scores that floated in mid-air, spreading across the battlefield as he chanted, "Prepare to listen to the sound of a demon!"

Then the music changed, dropping low and projecting purple waves in every direction around Flauros, washing over him and forcing his giant body to flinch and shiver. Mozart swept into a bow, his hand covering his face, then erupted outwards, baton levelled squarely at the Demon God Pillar as he commanded, "A Funeral March For The Grim Reaper: Requiem For Death!"

The angels disappeared and the manifestations of music swept across the Theatre, wrapping and binding themselves around Flauros as the symphony reached its crescendo. The monster couldn't help but tilt backwards, coming to rest against the nearest wall, and the tentacle that had kept a tight grip on the Holy Grail for the entirety of the battle flopped downwards and went limp.

"Grab the Grail!" Nikki shrieked as the Servants of Chaldea charged.

Euryale dove in, and her hands wrapped around the golden chalice. "I've got it!" Then the tentacle tightened around its base, and she abruptly found herself being dragged into the air, unwilling to let go of the Grail but unable to resist Flauros' strength. "Aah! Help!"

"What is this? How did you do this to me?!" The monster seemed to barely even notice Lily, Nero and Nobunaga all having reached its base and using their swords to hack away at its flesh, many eyes swivelling and focusing squarely on Mozart. "You. You are no ordinary Heroic Spirit,"

"Oh, no, I assure you I really am, just a mediocre little musician who never really -" Mozart blustered, but Flauros wasn't having any of it.

"I see. You were a candidate for Amdusias. But you diverged from our King's plan. How interesting," the Demon God Pillar rumbled.

Nikki cast a glance at the Caster. "Mozart, what's he talking about?"

"Oh, just a possible path I could have taken. There could have been a time when I fought side by side with that thing, but I decided that wouldn't do at all so I sold my soul to the demon of music instead," Mozart summarised. "I'll be happy to explain later, but for the time being rest assured I'm on your side,"

"I think we should trust him, Master. I can't deny that he has weakened this thing, our attacks are working much better now!" Lily yelled.

Muskets manifested around Nobunaga, firing upwards into the Demon God Pillar's eyes as she used her own sword to carve out chunks of red flesh from its base. "Yeah! I came here to shoot kings and cut demons, and I'm all out of kings!"

"That's nice but can someone please get me down?!" Euryale screamed.

"No matter. You have proven yourself our enemy, therefore I shall show you no mercy. It is time to put an end to all of you," Flauros declared, and the magical energy he'd been building reached its peak.

Nikki screamed as he spoke. "Someone stop him!"

"Vampirism!" Euryale shrieked and, with a grimace of revulsion, bit into the flesh of the tentacle that had her and the Grail trapped. Visible streaks of red energy were sucked out of Flauros' body and into the petite gorgon's mouth, and she gagged, releasing as soon as the technique was complete and their destruction was no longer imminent. "Ohmygod that was gross that was disgusting please don't ever make me do it again!"

"How dare you?!" Flauros bellowed, bending over to slam Euryale into the ground. This, however, proved to be a bad choice, because Lily took the chance to slash straight through the tentacle holding their Archer and the Holy Grail, and Euryale landed in a heap, the Holy Grail tucked tight to her chest. "I've got it!" she cheered, picking herself up and making a break for where Nikki and Mozart were hanging back.

Flauros lunged towards her, but the Knight classes intercepted, shredding his flesh and forcing him back even as it slowly regenerated. "How infuriating . . let's try this again," The magic power that had been building around him once again reached its peak, causing a visible ripple in the air as the monstrous tentacle chanted, "The Time Of Awakening Hath Come: Incineration Ritual: Flauros,"

Time seemed to slow to a crawl for Nikki as the attack brewed around the four people cutting chunks out of Flauros' base. Her magic circuits tingled, resonating with the Mystic Code Kiyohime had stolen from the Demon God before he transformed. Dust of Osiris. The ability to grant one person temporary invulnerability.

She knew what she had to do, though she didn't like it. She had no idea what this attack would entail, or if any of them could survive it. But, ultimately, the Servants were familiars. They were expendable. However, if Nero died, that was the entire timeline damaged beyond repair.

"Dust of Osiris," Nikki cast, stifling the feeling of self-hatred that swelled in her gut as she made her choice, and a golden barrier appeared around Nero as a wave of angry light descended and crushed Lily, Nobunaga and Kiyohime underneath it. She averted her eyes, both from guilt and to save herself from the sheer blinding brilliance of the assault.

A red so brilliant that it seemed white spread out from Flauros, immediately enveloping the four warriors on the offensive. Nikki and Euryale barely managed to join Mozart in his hiding place before the wave of heat and light passed them by.

Unbeknownst to any of them, the fallen form of Romulus' eye snapped open and he channeled his Imperial Privilege, mimicking a defensive ability that spread out and covered the Chaldean Servants, absorbing the worst of the attack. An instant before Flauros' line of sight was restored he resumed feigning dead.

An agonisingly long moment passed until Nikki was confident to peer out again, and the results were better than she'd dared hope; Lily, Kiyohime and Nobunaga were all alive. Battered, bruised and forced to the ground, but none of them were dissolving into Spiritrons.

Nero was on her feet and looking around, and her eyes met Nikki's. "You shouldn't have done that, umu. My Imperial Privilege would have protected me," she told the Master, despite the smile tugging at her lips. "Still, thank you," The Emperor turned and looked back at the grotesque monster. "I suppose that means it's up to me,"

Imperial Privilege. The belated realisation hit Nikki like a sledgehammer, and she groaned. She could have protected Nobunaga, or Lily. She shook her head, burying the self-recrimination. It was fine, they were alive. But with Mozart's only trump card used, Euryale functionally useless, it was all up to Nero . . and Nikki herself.

She was a Master of Chaldea. She'd come this far. What could she do to contribute?

"Instant Enhancement!" Nikki yelled, and magic power engulfed Nero. ". . Screw it, you've been acting like a Servant this whole time, you want to do something crazy?"

"Certainly!" Nero retorted.

Nikki grinned and pressed a finger to her hand. "Nero Claudius, I order you with my Command Spell; use all the power at your disposal to destroy Flauros!"

This isn't going to work, she told herself. She's not really a Servant, even if some strange magic made her become like one, and she doesn't have a contract with me so this definitely isn't possible, it's going to happen.

Unbeknownst to her, something lit up inside Nikki's Magic Crest. On its way to go anywhere other than the body of Nero Claudius, the magic got lost.

Red light erupted outwards, initially directionless but guided to surge into Nero's body, a Command Spell fading from the Master's hand and forming a corona of power around the Emperor.

"Umu! I like this!" Nero grinned through clenched teeth and took off, throwing herself into the air. Her feet met Flauros' flesh and Imperial Privilege kicked into overdrive as she did the impossible and ran up Flauros' length, dragging her sword behind her and projecting a massive shadow of flame that ripped straight through the demon's flesh. Blood-red rose petals appeared from thin air in her wake, flowing out behind her like a massive red cape as her foot left a dent in one of Flauros' many eyes, only for it to be bisected a moment later,

"Imperium of the Maiden's Flowery Words: Laus Saint Claudius!" Nero screamed as she reached the ceiling, kicking off the tip of Flauros' flesh and flipping in midair as petals erupted throughout the Golden Theatre. Her sword came up and erupted with even greater power, creating a beam of orange light that she swept downwards to double down on the damage and conclusively negate Flauros' regeneration.

"Requiescat in pace!" Nero triumphantly crowed, backflipping through the air and landing in a perfect three-point superhero pose, sword stretched out to her side. Behind her, Flauros screamed and collapsed. Black flesh withered, shrivelling up and disintegrating.

"Yes!" Nikki cheered as she, Mozart and Euryale left their hiding spot, running over to Nero, who triumphantly inspected her work.

"Umu, such majesty is wasted on that filthy creature. Nonetheless, victory is ours! You may now applaud," she declared, preening.

"Not just yet! I . . refuse!" Everyone span to see the form of Lev Lainur emerging from the corpse of Flauros, teeth gritted. "You! Master of Chaldea! How did you . . that should not have . ."

There was a bang, and his forehead imploded. The body of Lev Lainur slumped to the ground with a bullet in its brain.

"Oh, shut up," Nobunaga huffed, picking herself up as her floating rifle returned to astral form. "We're all sick of you!"

"Well said, umu! Quite the proper ending!" Nero nodded, helping the Archer to her feet.

Around them, the Golden Theatre rippled and began to fade, the night sky reappearing over their heads as their surroundings were once again the partly-collapsed Forum.

Before anyone could react, there was a crash as the Super Bus demolished a wall and slid to a halt next to them. Chaldea's remaining forces exploded out before its doors had finished closing. "What happened? Did you beat him?" Altria demanded, brandishing Excalibur as though she expected Flauros to be hiding behind a rock.

"Relax. We're done, we won. Flauros is dead and we've got the Grail, right Euryale?"

"Present and accounted for," the gorgon assured them, casually tossing the golden chalice of infinite mana into Nikki's hands.

"What about that guy?" Tyler asked, gesturing to a sculpted form of copper flesh.

"Holy Founder!" Nero exclaimed, rushing to the fallen Romulus as he raised his head. "You're alive!"

"And that monster is not. Wonderful," the founder of Rome rumbled, picking himself up and kneeling. "I must apologise to you all for the actions I was forced to undertake. They were not in accordance with Roma,"

"It's fine, there's a reason we call them Servants," Nikki assured him.

"Nonetheless! I feel that I must atone for my transgressions. If you would have me, it would be my honour to join you in your noble goal of saving humanity," Romulus declared, bowing his head.

"Holy Founder! You . . you don't want to stay here? In Rome? Why not?" Nero demanded, her smile evaporating.

The demigod's dull red eyes swivelled towards her. "There is a rule, among we who ascend to the Throne of Heroes. The dead must not lead the living," he rumbled. "You are the Emperor of Rome. Charting the course of this nation is your responsibility. I cannot stay, for my very existence undermines your authority. Accepting that your time has ended is Roma,"

Nero pursed her lips, but nodded. "I understand. You are correct," she admitted. "It has been my honour to meet you, Holy Founder, and I'll do my best to make you proud,"

"You already have, my child," Romulus assured her. "Now, someone remove this collar so that I may pledge myself to my new Master,"

Altria raised her sword, but Tyler interrupted. "Wait!"

Everyone looked at him. "They explode! The collars. Lev must have modified them after we recruited Tarquinius. That's how we lost Julius Caesar,"

Romulus winced. "You and he have my gratitude for sparing me that fate, boy,"

"Not a problem," Joan assured them, sliding behind the Founder and hooking her flagpole underneath the green collar, taking it with one hand as she cut straight through it. As soon as it had come free, she threw it with all her strength into the sky.

For a moment everyone watched it fly, and then it erupted in a blast large enough to cast Rome in false daylight for a brief moment.

"Your will creates my body, and my sword creates your destiny," Romulus intoned, and Nikki felt a pulse from her remaining Command Spells.

"Excellent. Welcome to Chaldea, then," the Master looked around. "I . . I think that means we're done. Mission successful, everyone,"

"You'll be leaving, then," Nero flatly stated.

"We sort of have to," Nikki nodded.

The Emperor pouted. "I don't want you all to leave," she petulantly mumbled, looking over at where Tyler's Servants had crowded around him. "It was nice, to have the chance to talk to heroes,"

"Maybe we'll see each other again? There's no way you weren't recorded on the Throne of Heroes. It would be nice to have you at Chaldea," Tyler pointed out with a hesitant smile.

"Perhaps that might be the best option. It's not as though I can abandon the people that love me, after all," Nero graciously nodded. "But should the worst come to pass and our eyes never again meet, remember, hero, that you are worthy of the love of an Emperor," With that, she swooped in and kissed Tyler's cheek, then stepped back and smiled playfully.

The Master flushed as three of his Servants shot death-glares at the Emperor. "Oh, uh, thank you,"

"She's lucky we can't kill her," Kiyohime grumbled, and Elizabeth nodded agreement.

Nero stifled a giggle, then stepped back enough that she was facing the entire force of Chaldea. "Umu, I suppose if there's nothing else to be said, then let me say this. For aiding in the defence of Rome and vanquishing her foes, on behalf of all my people may I say, congratulations!"

"Yes, congratulations indeed," an unfamiliar voice interrupted, drawing everyone's attention, and the group collectively turned to see a regiment of Roman soldiers, led by two men, storming into the Forum. "Honour to the heroes who defeated the enemies of Rome, and it will be my pleasure to ensure your just rewards, so long as there's no trouble at least,"

"Vindex? Galba? What is this?" Nero apparently recognised the people approaching them.

Tyler couldn't help but gasp.

"What's the big deal? Who is that guy?" Nikki asked, looking at him in confusion.

As Nero exchanged pleasantries with the two senators - one of whom, they realised, had been present among the senators in Nero's war councils in the Forum - the historian pointed at the pudgy figure in a toga, Vindex. "He's basically Nero's archenemy, involved in at least one assassination attempt and basically personally responsible for ending Nero's reign in four years," Then he indicated the slim, somewhat sickly-looking man identified as Galba. "And he's the Sixth Emperor of Rome," he mumbled under his breath.

"Huh? But . ." Nikki realised the implications immediately, looking back at their friend, the Fifth Emperor of Rome. ". . Oh," After a moment, she whispered, "Do we tell her?"

"We can't. It's history. Four years from now, those two will start a revolution, gain public support and oust Nero from Rome. Everyone betrays her and she commits suicide. That's history, that's the timeline we came here to protect . . we can't interfere," he shook his head, tightening his jaw. "He shouldn't even be here in this year . . Boudica must have wrecked his province and forced him to take refuge behind the walls of Rome,"

"Oh," Nikki mumbled.

Their conversation was cut off when Vindex curtly declared, "We have come to take possession of the magical artefact that caused all this destruction on behalf of the Roman Empire!"

This statement immediately drew the attention of all Chaldea.

"It is that thing, correct?" Vindex haughtily determined, striding into the midst of the group and gesturing at the golden cup hanging from Nikki's hand. "Give it here, little girl,"

Nikki quirked an eyebrow. "I'm afraid I can't do that,"

"He has a point," Chaldea's forces cast scandalised looks at Nero. "That artefact would be a massive boon to Rome, especially in rebuilding all of this damage,"

"We came here to retrieve this Grail," Nikki insisted, and her Servants gathered around her.

"Nero, please. The Grail's not supposed to be here, in this place and time," Tyler reminded the Emperor. "If you keep it, it'll lead to worse damage down the road and we'd just have to come back and fix it again,"

"And who might you be to address Emperor Nero Claudius so casually, boy?" Vindex sneered.

"He is a better man than you, Vindex, and a hero to boot," Nero huffed. "I trust his word,"

"Over mine? Or have these foreigners bewitched your mind?" the senator accused.

"It's hardly natural for our emperor to side with foreigners over her own senators after merely a couple of days in their presence," Galba growled.

Nero gasped, her jaw forming a small 'o', and she looked between the two groups, clearly conflicted. Because the truth of the matter was; she did trust Chaldea more than her senators. Not that that was necessarily an endorsement of Chaldea, rather she knew the sort of conniving, backstabbing politician that Vindex was and hadn't an ounce of respect for him in her body. But they had an audience; he'd had the foresight to bring a significant chunk of the remaining Roman army with him. She couldn't admit to anything of the sort with them watching, or rumours would spread that she had indeed been bewitched.

Nikki, though, could see the writing on the wall. "Da Vinci? Are we clear to Rayshift?"

The blue hologram flickered to life, and Da Vinci cheerfully informed her, "Not a spot of interference. Beginning the procedure,"

"What - whatever you're doing, cease this instant!" Vindex snapped, advancing on Nikki, eyes fixed on the Grail.

At least until Romulus stepped in front of her, spear ready and eyes unsympathetic. "Your actions are not Roma," he growled, and for some reason he didn't understand that statement sent a shiver through Vindex's entire body.

"Ah - yes, wait, we're not done!" Nero agreed for entirely different reasons.

"Sorry, but it looks like we are. Goodbye. I hope I'll see you again," Tyler nodded with a wince.

"Twenty seconds!" Da Vinci told them, flickers of light beginning to appear around Chaldea's forces.

"Men! Advance!" Gaiba commanded. "Stop them!"

Hesitantly, the soldiers obeyed, despite both sides knowing they hadn't a chance in hell of doing anything to Chaldea.

"Well, it was fun," Tyler offered.

"It was, and, thank you," Nero bowed her head.

A sudden thought occurred to the Master, and he started. "Oh! I probably shouldn't tell you this, and I don't know if it'll make any difference, but screw it. We originally came to this time period because of an event called the Great Fire of Rome. You can probably guess what happens from the name. We thought this whole thing would be about the fire, not Boudica,"

"A great fire? Umu," Nero winced.

"You know what they say, forewarned is forearmed. Get ready to deal with fire, and good luck," Tyler closed his eyes for fear of looking at Vindex and giving away a world-changing hint. "You'll need it," he mumbled.

"So will you, it sounds. And I'll look forward to aiding you in my next life," Nero replied with a confident grin.

By the time she'd finished speaking, though, Chaldea was gone, the temporary bodies manifested for the Singularity reduced to golden dist that disappeared into the midnight wind.

Chapter Text

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♦Topic:
In: Boards

Flauros (Original Poster) (Moderator) (Information Centre)
Posted on August 24, 2017:

Greetings to all my fellow Demon Gods. This is a cursory message alerting the collective that the operation to preemptively destroy the Chaldea Observatory was only partially successful. Of the 48 Master Candidates, 45 have been neutralized. Accordingly, the operation is designated 93.75% successful. My calculations indicate that the Chaldean remnant will pose no threat to our king's plan.

(Showing Page 3 of 4)

End of Page. 1, 2, 3, 4

♦Topic: I AM NOT INCOMPETENT!!!
In: Boards

Flauros (Original Poster) (Moderator) (Information Centre)
Posted on September 16, 2017:

This is my official refutation of anyone who believes they would be better suited to defeating Chaldea than I. I have uploaded my memories into an interactive simulation of the Septem scenario and I challenge you all to emerge victorious!

(Showing Page 1 of 1)

End of Page.1

Chapter Text

As sight returned to Nikki's eyes, the Rayshift coffin's door hissed open and she staggered out.

Dr. Roman was already there, helping her to her feet. "Hey. How are you feeling?"

". . Tired. It's, what, midnight?" the Master groaned. "We just killed Flauros and - you know what, you were there, you don't need a recap,"

"Good, you're back!" Olga-Marie joined them as the rest of the Servants emerged. Glancing around, Nikki noticed that Elizabeth, Tarquinius, Mozart and Romulus - the Servants who had manifested in Rome and been dragged back to Chaldea through their contracts, piggybacking on the Rayshift, and thus had no Coffins to return to - had all landed in an unceremonious heap.

Unsurprisingly, Tyler was helping a groaning Elizabeth to her feet, as Romulus shoved Tarquinius off him and stood up. "Oh, I should have known that Mother Space-Time would punish us for defiling her in this way!" Mozart whined.

"You said it, pardnah. I reckon my stomach's holding a revolution. It don't wanna be part of my kingdom no more," Tarquinius mumbled.

Romulus just shook his head at the both of them. "This travesty is not Roma,"

Spotting Da Vinci, Nikki fished out the Holy Grail and offered it to the resident Caster. "Here, put this to some good use, okay?"

"My pleasure - oh, hold on, the Director has something to say," the walking Mona Lisa observed.

"On behalf of Chaldea I would like to welcome all of our new allies, and congratulate everyone on successfully resolving the Septem Singularity," Olga-Marie declared, trying her very best to look professionally pleased by the three motion-sick Servants.

"Thank you," Elizabeth rasped. "Happy to - oh," she coughed, realising her voice was still a ghastly whisper. ". . Hoped that would be healed," she sighed.

"Clear a path!" Dr. Roman interrupted, rushing a wheeled gurney across the command room with one of the technicians assisting him.

"What's this for? No one got hurt bad," Nobunaga questioned,

"I'll be the judge of that! Joan, lie down, I have no idea what you did to yourself but I am taking you to medical and not letting you out until I'm certain you're not going to explode,"

"I'm fine," the Avenger protested.

"That's not your decision to make! Meunière, push!"

The resulting silence as everyone watched Dr. Roman wheel Joan away on his gurney was taken advantage of by Olga-Marie. "Now, come with me to the conference room, everyone, it's time for debriefing," she declared, already making for the door to the central room that housed CHALDEAS and the Rayshift Coffins.

Mozart, who had just sat up, laughed. "Haha, she said debriefing!"

"I don't get it, whyzzat funny?" Tarquinius checked.

"Because it means taking off someone's undergarments,"

"Oh, hohoho!"

As the two men laughed, Olga-Marie cast an askance look at Nikki. "I know I said we needed to recruit as many Servants as possible, but . . perhaps you don't need to be quite so diligent in future,"

She promptly ducked aside as Asterios exploded through the double doors and swept a protesting Euryale into a hug. "Yes, yes, you big oaf, I'm fine and I missed you too, now put me down!"

X

No sooner than she sat down at the conference table, Nikki slumped forward, cradling her head in her arms, and drifted into dreamland.

Tyler wasn't much better off, clearly struggling to stay awake as he settled into a chair.

The various Servants, of course, didn't need to sleep, but many of them were showing visible signs of fatigue.

This was exacerbated by the bags hanging under Dr. Roman's eyes and the mug of coffee in his hand, and Director Olga-Marie recalled that their poor chief of medicine had been working around the clock with minimal breaks on constantly verifying their Masters' existence within the Singularities.

". . Everyone's too tired for a debriefing, aren't they?" she realised.

"Director, with all due respect. It's past midnight," Dr. Roman reminded her.

". . Right. This can wait until the morning, then. Everyone, to bed!"

Tyler gratefully absconded in the direction of the residential quarters, pursued by his quartet of Servants. Altria scooped up Nikki, telling the rest of the group, "She's not just Master, she's my roommate. I'll keep an eye on her and make sure she's comfortable,"

"Say, where do we sleep?" Tarquinius asked. "Also, is there a garage anywhere 'round these parts? I need to resummon my Super Bus,"

"I'll show you to the cargo loading bay, it's probably your best bet," Da Vinci primly informed him.

"Groovy," the Emperor nodded.

"As for the rest of you newcomers, there are plenty of unused rooms after we lost so many staff, pick whichever you like and make yourself at home," she advised Romulus and Mozart, then paused. "Where's Elizabeth?"

"I suspect that she has no need of a room of her own tonight," Mozart mischievously chuckled.

Sure enough, it was only when a haggard Tyler stripped off the outer layers of his Mystic Code and tossed them in a pile in the corner that he noticed he wasn't alone in his room. Specifically, when Kiyohime picked it up and folded it. ". . Kiyo? Why are you in my room?"

"Sorry, Master, Dr. Roman kept me busy for too long," Joan grumbled, stalking through the door and snatching the dragoness' wrist. "And what do you have to say for yourself?" she addressed Elizabeth, and Tyler started, realising that the other dragon-girl was also there.

"I was just following everyone else?" she tried with a shrug.

"Nope. Out. If you don't want to sleep alone, you can bunk with me, but I'm not leaving either of you in here,"

"Wait, why do you get to be here, then?" Kiyohime pressed.

"I'm guarding Master's door," Joan shrugged.

". . From who?" she demanded, and Joan just cast her a look in response.

"Do I get a say in this?" Tyler checked. "I really don't think I need a door guard. Also, what did Dr. Roman say about your condition?"

"Ugh, technobabble. Ask him tomorrow. As for your door, there is at least one person here who wants to molest you in your sleep," Joan pointed out.

"Excuse me?!" Elizabeth snapped.

"I would never!" Kiyohime retorted.

"Oh, you wouldn't, you're too timid," Joan huffed at the Lancer, then glanced at the Berserker. "You on the other hand,"

"Okay, enough!" Tyler interjected. "Go to bed! All of you!"

"But, Master -"

"No. No buts. Joan, you're not being fair to Liz or Kiyo,"

"Do you have any idea how many times I caught her sniffing your pillow?"

"Weirdly adorable habits aside, I am very tired so can you please save all of this until I've got a solid eight hours of sleep,"

"But you're not going to let her stand at your door -"

"Yes, apparently a door guard will be necessary if I'm going to get some rest, but I'm going to trust the only one of my Servants who seems to be capable of professionalism," Tyler strode to the door and called, "Lily? I know your room is close, how much of this did you hear?"

A thoroughly unimpressed miniature King of Knights glanced through the door at her teammates. "More than should have been said, suffice to say,"

"Good. If it's alright with you, can you take over room guard duties for tonight?"

"Certainly," Lily agreed, gesturing. "Come on, everyone, out. Joan, help Elizabeth find a room. Kiyohime, if you want Tyler's scent so bad go hang out in the laundry room,"

The three Servants looked hesitant, so Lily gestured again, this time with Caliburn. "Come on,"

With a series of grumbles, they filed out, and the Saber was last to leave the room. "Sleep well, Master, I'll keep watch,"

X

The next morning, everyone who'd been to Rome was gathered in the debriefing room once again.

". . Romulus stopped pretending to be dead and formed a contract with me," Nikki recapped. "And then Spandex -"

"Vindex," Tyler corrected her.

"That guy, showed up and tried to confiscate the Grail. Ostensibly for Rome, probably for himself. Obviously we couldn't allow that, but since it looked like he was willing to throw away his men's lives for the slim chance of success I decided that it would be for the best if we were to just leave post-haste. And that concludes my report on the Septem Singularity,"

"Four new Servants, a successfully recovered Holy Grail and another patch of the damage to Human History repaired. Excellent work, Masters," Olga-Marie nodded with pride. "Tyler, anything to add?"

"No, Nikki pretty much covered everything," he nodded.

"Fair enough. Moving on, then. Da Vinci, what do you have to report regarding the status of the summoning chamber?"

Their resident Caster gritted her teeth. "It's still busted. I don't know why, but it refuses to work," she groaned. "It doesn't help that I'm dealing with a materials shortage,"

"Material shortage?" Tyler checked. "What are we out of? Powdered rubies? Colourful feathers?" A smile tugged at his lips. "Ten foot ropes?"

"Yes, your Dungeons and Dragons references are hilarious, but no, nothing so esoteric," Da Vinci grumbled. "Plain old paper, for one. Raw metals. Cursed bones,"

". . and you think powdered rubies are esoteric?"

"Nikki, please get back to teaching him magecraft before he tries to, I don't know, make a warlock pact with an elder god or some fictional nonsense like that," Olga-Marie groaned.

"Don't joke about that. Those things aren't fictional," Dr. Roman weighed in, uncharacteristically serious.

"Wait. What," Tyler's breath caught in his throat.

"Not relevant, and don't think about it. Literally, if you think about them too much they might start paying attention," the chief of medical told him.

"That doesn't help!"

"Don't worry, puppy," Elizabeth whispered in a tone that was probably meant to sound sultry but didn't quite work due to her damaged throat as she settled on his chair and wrapped an arm around him. "I'll protect you," In response, Tyler squeezed her wrist and bit his lip.

"If you're quite done traumatising one of our Masters," Olga-Marie sighed. "I've noticed that, of the four Servants we just recruited, two of them are powerful Roman Emperors with relatively high-spec Spirit Cores. I'd also like a report on the status of our mana generation capacity. I wasn't worried when most of the Servants we'd recruited were on the weaker side, and Joan, one of our strongest, had her own power source, but if I understand it right that's been significantly reduced. Speaking of, Romani I also want a report on the status of our new Avenger, but first, how are our generators holding up?"

Da Vinci made an irritated grunt. "Bluntly? Not well, but I have a solution. As of our most recent recruits, our collective mana consumption rate has, indeed, exceeded the amount of mana we can generate with our current infrastructure. Fortunately for us, we have two handheld magical nuclear reactors at our disposal. I've already started making preparations to patch the Holy Grail we recovered from Okeanos into our power supply, since I've tried everything I can think of to make FATE use it to summon a Servant in place of Lord Camelot, and nothing's working," She groaned. "Maybe I'll have better luck with the Grail from Septem,"

"It's a pity we can't just go back to Fuyuki and grab Altria's Grail," Astolfo groaned from the seat next to Nikki. As her first Servant, the Rider had been thrilled to rejoin his Master.

Everyone looked at him in surprise. ". . What? What did I say?"

"Why don't we do exactly that?" Olga-Marie suggested. "The Singularity still exists, right?"

"Well, it's a bit more complicated than that. Technically by now it's already broken down, but we do have Rayshift coordinates for a point before it had broken down. So, yes, if need be we could go back there to scavenge for supplies," Da Vinci confirmed. "And it is true that we might be able to recover that Grail,"

"It's a bad idea," Altria interrupted.

This time, everyone glanced at her.

"That Grail is not normal. There's a corruption inside it, something evil. Look at what it did to me," she reminded them, gesturing to her blackened armour and tilting her head up to remind them of the exposed black discolouration and visible red veins on her throat, usually hidden by her collar. "Unless you want every Servant we have to deal with this crap, we shouldn't touch that Grail. Let it rot,"

". . She makes a compelling argument," Nikki nodded.

"Well, in that case, we'll just need to find more Singularities and recover more Grails," Olga-Marie determined. "Before that, though, Romani. How's Joan?"

"Standing right here," the Avenger huffed.

"We've been over this, you are not qualified to self-diagnose," Dr. Roman matched her tone. "I swear, you kids are going to turn my hair grey. I've discovered some interesting and slightly concerning things as results from when Joan ripped apart and rebuilt her own soul on the fly. Chief among them; you are now connected to the Throne of Heroes,"

". . What does that mean?" Joan tilted her head. "I wasn't already?"

"Not quite. I suppose I should clarify; you're connected to a Spirit Origin in the Throne of Heroes that isn't Jeanne d'Arc. It appears that you have somehow become a vessel for the power of someone else,"

She paused, recalling her vision. The other version of herself that she'd talked to. ". . Who?"

Dr. Roman groaned and massaged his forehead. "That's the thing. Every test I run through our system is insisting that you're connected to Jeanne d'Arc. Except that can't be right because there's no possible way that the Maiden of Orleans would be an Avenger with a Noble Phantasm whose name means 'The Roar of Hatred'. So," he sighed. "I don't know. As far as I can tell, the connection is entirely beneficial. Whoever this power provider is, you've essentially become a Pseudo-Servant capable of wielding their power. There are actually a lot of similarities between you and Mash, even if you started at different places and reached similar end points. If and when she wakes up, I suspect you'll have a lot to talk about,"

"Sure. Guess it would be nice to actually meet this girl," Joan nodded, wincing sympathetically at the thought of the comatose Shielder.

"There's no update on Mash's condition?" Tyler checked.

A ragged sigh heaved its way out of Dr. Roman's throat. "She's recovering, I hope, but slowly. Too slowly, really . . damnable homunculus biology," he mumbled.

"Yes, well, we still have things to do," Olga-Marie took back control of the discussion. "That brings us to our last point. The next Singularity,"

"That's right, you mentioned you detected another one?" Nikki recalled.

"Indeed we have," Da Vinci began, but Dr. Roman cut her off.

"But! Our Masters have been through a couple of very stressful days and need time to relax and wind down before going to the next Singularity!" he reminded them. "We can't force them to just dive right back in with no break in between!"

"Yes, also true," Olga-Marie hummed. "So, a week, again?"

"That seems like a good rule of thumb," Dr. Roman concurred.

"We could deploy Era?" Da Vinci reminded them of Chaldea's third Master.

"Absolutely not," Olga-Marie told her through pursed lips. "Keep doing what you can. The rest of you, enjoy your time off. We'll reconvene in a week to discuss the mission plan,"

X

"You're back!" Era cheerfully hugged Nikki as she left the conference room. "I missed you! And I'm so jealous! What was Rome like? Was it cool?"

Nikki looked down at the diminutive Master, and hesitantly patted her head. "It wasn't that great, you didn't miss much. Mostly lots of stuff got destroyed,"

"That still sounds cool!" Era whined.

"She's been bouncing off the walls in here," Atalante told her, leaning against the wall nearby.

"I wanna Rayshift and go help! It's not fair that only you two get to go," Era pouted.

"There's pride to be taken in being the last line of defence," Dr. Roman pointed out as he left the conference room.

"It's boring! I wanna go on an adventure," the youngest Master reiterated.

"Be careful what you wish for," Joan grumbled as she stalked past, Tyler following her. "Adventure can change you, and not always for the better,"

"I wouldn't mind being changed," Era mulishly mumbled.

Nikki decided it would be unwise to engage with . . that. "How about you? What have you been up to over the past few days?"

"Meh, working my way through what's left of the media room," Era rolled her eyes. "The internet doesn't exist anymore, so Netflix stopped working,"

"What's Netflix?" Nikki quirked an eyebrow.

"Broken, is what," Era mumbled.

"That's, a pity, I suppose,"

"I can't even go outside because of the stupid permanent snowstorm," she added. ". . Never realised how much I valued sand,"

"Why sand?" Altria quirked an eyebrow as she followed them.

"My family lives in Egypt. There's so much sand,"

"Well," Nikki hummed. "How about you help me with my next magecraft lesson for Tyler?"

"No thanks, that sounds boring," Era grumbled.

"Really. Says the girl who's complaining about being bored. Do you have something better to do after all?"

"I have things that are not worse to do," she evenly retorted.

". . Alright, fine. Enjoy your not worse things,"

"I will!" With that, Era cheerfully skipped off. 

Atalante followed with a somewhat apologetic smile, and offered a conciliatory "Kids,"

In sync, Nikki and Altria just rolled their eyes in exasperation.

X

"Alright, so today we're discussing some of the underlying theory behind why we as Maguses can do what we do," That afternoon, Nikki had set up a table in the cafeteria with a whiteboard for Tyler's latest magecraft lesson. "What sets us apart from normal humans is three things. Crest, Attribute and Origin. Do you already know about any of those?"

"You explained Crests to me already. An artificial magical core that merges with a magus' magic circuits, containing magecraft passed down through the family," Tyler summarised.

"Good. And what are magic circuits?"

"A secondary nervous system that exists within the bodies of maguses, letting us store and channel prana,"

"Excellent. Which leads us to the topic of Thaumaturgical Attributes and Origins. An Attribute is sort of like a specialisation, a proficiency that maguses develop. It's usually intrinsically tied to one's Crest, and exactly which Attribute we focus on is generally passed down through the family along with the Crest. It's possible, albeit rare and difficult, for a magus to have more than one,"

". . Oh my god, maguses actually have Pokémon Types? I thought Dr. Roman was joking,"

"What? Uh . . I suppose? You would know better than me," Nikki shrugged a bit. "Origins are similar but not the same. Unlike Attributes, a magus can only have one, and they are born with it. It's a starting point that defines a person's existence and directs their actions through life. People have said it's the cause of people's instincts, and the nature of someone's personality is heavily influenced by their Origin. At least in theory. I don't really buy it,"

"So," Tyler asked, after digesting that explanation. "What's your Attribute? And Origin, actually?"

"I don't know what my Origin is. I'm not that privileged. Honestly, awakening to one's Origin is a mixed blessing at best, since I've heard it can have some nasty side effects. If it happens, I'll make the most of it, but I'd be fine with never knowing," Nikki explained. "As for my Attribute, well," she trailed off, looking almost embarrassed.

"Come on. Tell me," Tyler coaxed.

"Mapmaking," Nikki mumbled in a small voice.

He blinked, uncertain if he'd heard that correctly. ". . I'm sorry, did you just say -"

"Yes! I know! I've heard all the jokes, trust me! The Magus with the single worst sense of direction in the entire Clock Tower has Magecraft that naturally focuses on knowing where you are and finding out where to go!" Nikki fumed at the thought. ". . Also, I want it on record that I'm not usually this bad! Poor sense of direction, sure, but none of this random teleportation nonsense I keep dealing with in the Singularities! I think the Rayshift process and being in a spirit body somehow exacerbates whatever the problem is,"

"I wasn't going to . ." Tyler trailed off, unable to commit to the lie. Nikki just fumed at him. "Really, though, why mapmaking? It's a . . weird thing to focus on,"

"It wasn't my choice. It was my mother's idea when she was young," A sigh escaped her lips. "To explain her thought process, I have to explain one of the big things about the magus society that exists in the Clock Tower. One of the major goals of maguses as a whole is to reach what's generally called 'The Root',"

She paused for effect, anticipating the question, and Tyler obliged. "The Root of what?"

"Everything. Magic. The world. The entire universe. Presumably, the whole Kaleidoscope. Who knows? Not us, because almost no one ever actually reaches it and those that do are never heard from again,"

Tyler digested this. "Then why does anyone even want to go there?"

"Omnipotence, immortality, transcending to a higher state of being. Stuff like that. Doesn't really matter," Nikki summarised. "Point is, my mother . . was very intelligent but not all that bright. When considering what to focus her fledgling style of Magecraft on, she decided that all the hoity-toity Maguses were so caught up in esoteric bullshit that they weren't capable of considering the 'obvious' solution; to quite literally chart a course to the Root. Draw a map that she could then follow,"

"That sounds . ." Tyler paused, unsure how to phrase this.

"Stupid? Doomed to fail? You have no idea. It's not like the Root would be a physical place that you can get to with a couple of days' hiking! She was an idiot whose experiments never produced anything better than a few interesting ways to do geographical surveys, which were promptly made redundant when mundane science figured out how to do the same things. And now I'm stuck with it and I can't even do much with it because of my effed-up sense of direction. Honestly, I feel like the only reason I even got an offer to join Chaldea was because someone took a cursory look at my file and thought 'maps might be useful in uncharted Singularities' without knowing about my navigational dysfunction," Nikki concluded her rant with a dramatic eye-roll and slouched back in her chair.

"Uh . . sorry to hear all that," Tyler mumbled.

"Bleh. Anyway. As for you, we may not know what your Attribute is, but after what Georgios did to you in Fuyuki I've got a guess that your Origin is 'Dragon'. Or, rather, whatever your Origin was, it's been overwritten with 'Dragon'. Maybe your Attribute too, it's not like we're equipped to test these things,"

Tyler considered what she didn't know; that the Curse of Fafnir was squatting inside him. "Yeah, I've definitely got dragon business going on,"

"Keep an eye on if any sort of Magecraft seems particularly easy to you. If you can figure out your Attribute, it'll help you grow as a magus more than . . well, literally anything other than getting your own Crest, and that's a crapshoot,"

"Got it. I'll remember that . . I wonder what it could be?"

"Well, you are freakishly talented at being a Master for Servants," Dr. Roman put in his two cents as he passed the table, "Maybe your Attribute is 'Master'?"

Tyler considered this. ". . No, that can't be it. That sounds stupid,"

Nikki shrugged and nodded. "Getting back to the topic, there's also the matter of Elemental Affinities. You can think of them as a subsection of Attributes, and every magus has at least one," She paused, and sighed. "As for what exactly the Elemental Affinities are, that's a bit of a debate. Everyone agrees that there are five, and that Fire, Earth and Water exist, they're the most common after all. The official position of the Clock Tower is that the other two are Wind and Void, or Ether. However, the eastern schools of magic believe that the other two are Wood and Metal. The Clock Tower believes that those two aren't real things and just made up by Earth-affinity maguses who want to seem more important, but who knows really. The important thing is, they're Attributes and everyone's got at least one. I'm assuming yours is Fire, because, well,"

"Dragon," Tyler nodded, stifling a chuckle.

"Tell me if Earth or Water stuff comes particularly easily, though, it's very difficult to change or remove someone's affinity so you could well turn out to be one of those. Or, who knows, something more esoteric. I have Water, by the way, not that it's particularly useful. So, any questions?"

"You mentioned the 'Kaleidoscope'? I've heard that word before but no one's ever explained what it means to me in a magecraft context. I assume we're not talking about the children's toy,"

"Oh, right. It's pretty simple, but kind of hard to wrap your head around," Nikki nodded. "Basically, it's the catch-all term for all of existence outside our universe. Every parallel timeline, every possible reality - heck, when we Rayshift to Singularities, it involves passing through the border between our reality and the wider Kaleidoscope,"

Tyler's eyes had progressively widened as she spoke. "You're telling me the multiverse is real?"

". . Sure, but that's not what we call it,"

"Wow. That . . wow. Are there, like, other versions of us? . . Am I like Spider-Man?!"

"Tyler, I'm discussing the arcane lore of our reality. Please don't equate it to comic books,"

"Right, right, sorry, just . . wow. The multiverse. And this is common knowledge among maguses?"

"Pretty much, but that's a bit like saying space is common knowledge among normal humans. We all know it exists, but that doesn't mean they can ever go there. To extend the metaphor, we as people who can Rayshift are like the astronauts who visit the moon and come back. Nevermind something crazy like going to another planet, or timeline in this case,"

"Could we, though?"

". . Thaaat's a question for Da Vinci. Beats me,"

X

"Did you . . absolutely need to summon the bus?" Nikki asked, staring at the new fixture of Chaldea's underground cargo loading bay.

"O'course," Tarquinius nodded with a smile.

The window of the Super Bus slid open, and she was surprised to see Sita's head hanging out. The red-haired Archer beamed and told them, "Nikki, this is the best thing you have ever done! I never thought I'd actually get to experience a jacuzzi!"

"Well hot dawg," Tarquinius grinned, advancing towards the doors, which slid open to reveal an Altria that had shed her armour and was clad only in undergarments.

Also, Excalibur was in her hands and glowing with ominous light. "Nope. This is girls only hour," she warned the emperor.

". . but it's my bus,"

"Don't care. Master, are you coming?"

"I certainly won't object to the finer things in life," the bluenette smiled, stepping past both of her Servants. "Sorry, bus boy. Better luck next time,"

X

Resting among the plush velvet of the Super Bus' cushions, after hours of fun (and some scrounged up alcohol) that had almost made her forget about the ongoing business of saving the world, Nikki drifted into slumber.

The next thing she knew, she saw Tarquinius sitting on a throne. Unlike the rhinestone-studded jacket and star-shaped novelty sunglasses that she'd grown used to seeing him don, this one was dressed in a toga.

Nikki dimly recalled what she'd heard about the dream Tyler had had after contracting with Elizabeth, and realised it was her turn. Time for a glimpse at the life of Tarquinius Superbus.

"What is this, Tarquin?" She span to see a tall, aged man with braided hair entering the throne room. "You come in here and sit on my throne? You would declare yourself king over me, even after I did you the honour of letting you marry my daughter?"

"You do not deserve to rule Rome, Servius Tullius!" Tarquinius barked. "You are a slave born of a slave, who only became king through a woman's machinations. You have stripped your friends of wealth and power and favour the peasants over your fellows in the ruling class. It is only right that I take the throne from you, for I am far more suited to be king than you ever were!"

"This is wrong, Tarquin," Tullius warned him. "Did my daughter put you up to this? I thought you were a better man than to stoop so low as a coup,"

Tarquinius rose to his feet, muscles rippling as he strode towards his father-in-law. "Then that was your mistake," he ominously intoned, clutching the front of the man's toga in his hand and lifting his feet off the ground. "Begone. I have no need to see your face ever again," And with that, he bodily threw Tullius back out through the door to the throne room. The wizened man handed in a heap and rolled down the stairs, grunting and wheezing before coming to a rest halfway down.

Tarquinius turned and made to return to his stolen throne, but Tullius' voice caught his attention and he paused. "You will regret this, Tarquin. Your actions have accrued a debt. If you would now be king, so be it. I can't reverse this, no matter that I want to. But someday, in one form or another, you will pay for this. If you genuinely think you'll make a good king, then be a good king. If you aren't, then it's only a matter of time until you go the same way you're sending me,"

The Seventh King of Rome's baritone laugh rolled out and echoed through the throne room. "What need have I for such trifling concerns? I am king now. This city, this nation, is mine to do with as I please. From here on out, Rome shall be defined by the glory of Tarquinius Superbus,"

Nikki made a face as she watched this, realising that, perhaps, she should have asked Tyler for more details on why her second Rider was renowned as such a horrible man. "What . . do I even . ."

"So, Master, now you see the travesty that I call a legend," She started, seeing another Tarquinius floating beside her.

". . Okay. Explain this to me," Nikki promptly demanded, folding her arms.

"What is there to explain? I was young, I was arrogant. I got drunk on power. And for a few glorious years I was king of the world," Tarquinius admitted. "I went from strength to strength. I lied, tricked, stole and conquered. I targeted the richest of my neighbours, taking their wealth for my own, and started building. Check this thing out,"

Suddenly they were at a hill, staring at a temple of distinctly Roman design. "The Temple of Jupiter Optimus Maximus. One of my greatest achievements, and a monument to my failures. Y'now I could have been summoned as a Caster? If I were, I'd have this thing as my Noble Phantasm. A monument built with stolen wealth that claims to be in honour of Jupiter but really just honours me. It's the symbol of what Rome was under my rule; an entire nation that I tried to turn into one big ode to my own greatness," Despite his words, Tarquinius sounded defeated. He was slightly slumped over, staring at the temple through half-lidded eyes.

"And it didn't work out? I remember hesting that you were the last king of Rome,"

"Ohoho, not in the slightest. Looking back," the Rider sighed. "I never really understood what being a king meant. I was always obsessed with the glamour. The spectacle. I've always wanted to be the brightest and shiniest, the flashiest, showiest, superstar who dazzles everyone that sees him,"

Nikki considered his gaudy outfit. "You're . . definitely doing something along those lines,"

"Of course! It's not like I was wrong to pursue that dream in the first place. Why d'ya think I look like this as a Servant? That 1980's period y'all had a while back was the best!" For a moment, Tarquinius had his vigour back as he showed off his dated fashion, but then he slumped again. "But, when I was alive, along the way . . I lost sight of everything else. I convinced myself I was the only one that mattered, that everyone underneath me was just tools and resources. I was the most important person in the world, because I was king, and surely everyone saw that, right?" He laughed, a hollow sound of self-mockery.

"That was never going to work out," Nikki nodded.

"An'ah see that now," the king sighed. ". . Y'now, if I were to be summoned to a normal Holy Grail War, if I punched my way to victory and got to make my wish on the Grail,"

"What would you wish for?" Nikki had almost forgotten about this fact of Heroic Spirits; they had desires too. In a standard Holy Grail War, one that wasn't this apocalyptic mess they found themselves in, seven Masters and seven Servants would fight it out. It was common knowledge that the Grail would grant a wish to the victorious Master, but the fact that it would do the same for the victorious Servant tended to be glossed over.

"I'd wish that I could go back and tell my past self what I was doing wrong. Learn from my mistakes without needing to make them, I s'pose. Things could've been so different if I'd, just, known that Tullius was right and I needed to care about the people, not just m'self,"

Nikki considered this, nodding to herself. "Would younger you have listened?"

Tarquinius froze and blinked several times.

Then he laughed. "Well, no! I don't think he would've! Haha!"

"If nothing else," his Master mused, "at least now you have a chance to atone for your misdeeds,"

"Real pithy, Master, but I s'pose you ain't wrong," Tarquinius nodded. "If not that, then there is one other thing I regret. Sextus,"

"Your son, right?" Nikki vaguely remembered Tyler mentioning that a couple of days ago.

"Correctamundo. I didn't raise that boy right, and I paid for it," The king grumbled to himself a bit. "Say, Master, on the off chance Sextus ever turns up as a Servant . . try to recruit him? Please? Even if he's our enemy? I just . . even if he was responsible for me being dethroned, it really was my own fault when you get down to it. I want to see him again,"

"Well, it's unlikely. But if we get the chance, I'll see what I can do," Nikki promised him.

A wan smile tugged at his lips. "Thank you kindly,"

X

"So, tell me why this isn't working. Caster to Caster," Mozart requested, having been called by Da Vinci to see if he could lend his expertise to reworking the FATE system.

"Well, it comes down to this," Da Vinci plucked a coin off her workbench and flipped it in her hand, then tossed it to Mozart. "This is a coin depicting the Greek demigod of medicine, Asclepius. It was given to Nikki in Okeanos by the Servant Asclepius when he died so that we could summon him again. In theory, we should be able to use it as a catalyst to summon him,"

"Simple enough. And the Holy Grail provides power. So what's the problem?"

"A piece of FATE is missing. Specifically, Lord Camelot. The shield that belongs to Mash," Da Vinci explained. "When she awakened to her Servant abilities, it teleported straight to her, leaving a big hole in this machine where it was supposed to go. And now it's part of her Saint Graph, and with her still in a coma we can't get her to pull it out of astral form so that we can use it. It's really frustratingly ironic, actually. If we could just summon Asclepius, we could have him heal her and then she could manifest her shield so that we could summon Asclepius!"

"Alright. Why do we need the shield?" Mozart pressed.

"Because, conceptually, as the Round Table it is 'a place where heroes gather'. It serves as a catalyst for the Throne of Heroes itself, and can in theory be used to summon almost any Servant,"

"But we have a different catalyst, don't we? The coin," the male Caster continued. "So we shouldn't need the shield to function as a catalyst,"

"You'd think so, wouldn't you," Da Vinci groused. "But FATE was calibrated specifically for Lord Camelot,"

"Then change the calibrations,"

"I can't! I'd need to rebuild half of it from scratch and I don't have enough materials to do that! And, with the rest of the world turned to ash, we don't have any way of getting those materials!"

Mozart hummed thoughtfully. "Is there any particular reason we can't, just, not use FATE? Do it the old-fashioned way, with a Grail, a catalyst and a summoning circle?"

"Hm. Technically, that could work, but the issue there is that our Masters wouldn't be able to handle making a contract that way," Da Vinci countered.

"How's that?"

"Have you noticed that Nikki has contracts with no fewer than ten Servants?"

"Well, yes . . is that not normal?"

"It's very freaking difficult. Trying to keep that up should be ripping her magic circuits apart from all the strain, but we're patching it with Chaldea's magic generators and her Chaldea Uniform Mystic Code. Same for Tyler and Era, though they have fewer. Mechanically, it works because the contracts are made with Chaldea as a whole, or more specifically with their Mystic Codes that serve as an extension of Chaldea. In a sense, we Servants are Servants of Chaldea moreso than Servants of Nikki, Tyler or Era, and those three are just 'human extensions of Chaldea',"

"Right, but why does that forestall a normal summon?"

"Because it's hard enough keeping that together. If we tried to add a totally independent Servant who needs to sustain themselves off our Master's own personal mana supply . . we'd very quickly be down a Master," the Renaissance (Wo)man sighed.

The musician grimaced. "Oh dear,"

"Still, you're a Caster. Do you have any ideas? An angle I haven't considered?"

Mozart hummed. "I'm afraid I haven't the slightest clue,"

Da Vinci suspiciously squinted at him. "Wait, do you even have the Item Creation skill?"

"No I do not!"

X

The days passed, and it felt like all too short a time before Tyler was once again strapping himself into the Rayshift coffin.

"We're sending only you and your Servants first, to reconnoiter," Da Vinci informed him. "This Singularity is a bit strange in that we're detecting almost no fluctuations of power from it. There're probably very few Servants there, maybe none at all. I'm not fully sure what we're dealing with, but it's unlikely to be anything significantly threatening. So I think you'll be able to handle this on your own,"

"Alright, if you're sure . . though, is there a reason I haven't seen Nikki around at all today?"

Da Vinci winced. "It's possible that our decision to send you in advance of her was influenced by the fact that the cooks accidentally served some spoiled meat for dinner last night and Nikki's been having stomach trouble all morning. Enough about that, though! Who do you want to bring for this one?"

Tyler glanced at his quartet of Servants. "Lily, you got left behind last time, it's your turn," he decided. "Liz, you're still recovering, so . ." he grimaced apologetically.

"It's fine," the idol wheezed. Her voice was better than it had been a week ago, but Dr. Roman estimated that it would still take at least a month before she was fully recovered. "I would have said no anyway under the circumstances. Another time,"

Tyler nodded. "How about you, Joan?"

The Avenger sighed. "I'm not sure I'm ready yet either," she admitted.

"Then it's me again!" Kiyohime beamed.

Their Master chuckled a bit and nodded. "Alright, yes, Kiyo, come and get strapped in,"

As their only male Master and his two Servants were prepped for Rayshift, similar preparations were happening in the control room. Era was also present, pressing her face against the glass separating the two rooms with jealousy in her eyes.

"So, Director, what are we calling this one?" Dr. Roman asked as he monitored the system locking onto the new Singularity.

"I've decided we shouldn't be naming them, actually. It runs the risk of getting attached," Olga-Marie primly informed him.

"What, did you get irrationally disappointed when we resolved Septem?"

"I was proud of that name damnit, they couldn't have let me enjoy it for just a little longer?!"

OMAKE: Gacha 1

“Oh Tyler?” Da Vinci found the Master and his Servants at breakfasts the morning after Nikki had killed Poseidon. “Can you help me with something?”

“Huh? Yeah, sure, what do you need?”

“Come with me,” Da Vinci beckoned.

Before long, they were in a room that he hadn’t ever seen before, with monitors set up around a central podium. Da Vinci flipped a switch, and holographic projectors blared to life, emitting a low hum and generating a three-dimensional outline of a familiar shield.

“That’s Mash’s shield . . what is this?”

“Well, as it stands we still can’t summon Servants on our own. The Director has expressed to me that she won’t stand for that state of affairs. It turns out that managing to summon Servants using Lord Camelot was a fluke, too, because it’s the Round Table, it is conceptually ‘a place where heroes gather’ and thus can be used as a catalyst for any Heroic Spirit in the Throne. Sadly, the results are random, but more help is always appreciated,” the Caster explained.

“Okay, but what are we doing here?” Tyler pressed.

“Simple! We’re going to see if we can summon new Servants using a holographic recreation of Lord Camelot!”

“. . . Ooh,” Tyler nodded, a smile tugging at his lips. “Alright! So, what do I do, just stand over the shield and recite the incantation?”

“Yep! I’ll be in the other room, monitoring the process. Good luck!” Da Vinci cheered and bustled off.

“Wait, you can’t do that from in here?”

“Of course not, silly? What if it explodes?”

“It might explode?!”

“You’ll be fine, you’re Fafnir,” Da Vinci closed the door and transitioned into using the intercom. “Now, come on!”

Tyler heaved a sigh, but nonetheless held out his hand and spoke. “Let silver and steel be the essence. Let stone and the archduke of contracts be the foundation. Let rise a wall against the wind that shall fall. Let the four cardinal gates close. Let the three-forked road from the crown reaching unto the Kingdom rotate. Let it be filled. Again. Again. Again. Again. Let it be filled fivefold for every turn, simply breaking asunder with every filling. My will creates your body, and your sword creates my destiny. If you submit to this will and reason, then answer! Seventh heaven, clad in the great words of power! Come forth from the circle of binding, guardian of the scales!”

The summoning circle lit up, and for a moment, Tyler was excited.

Da Vinci emerged from the other room. “Well, did it work?”

“I’m going to call this a no,” Tyler replied with folded arms, staring down at the summoning circle. “Also, what am I looking at?”

“Uh,” the Caster scrutinised the array’s contents. “I think it’s a scroll for a Magus to inflict a geas on oneself,” she determined. “That’s quite random. Try again, I suppose,”

Tyler nodded, and recited the incantation once more. With a puff of smoke, from the summoning circle emerged . . a trio of black keys.

“Again!”

There was a flash of magic and a stuffed lion appeared.

“Keep trying!”

This time, the summoning circle spat out a lunchbox.

“I’ve adjusted the parameters, this time it should work!” Da Vinci instructed, and Tyler pursed his lips but obediently recited the incantation.

There was a flash of lightning, and this time, a motorcycle appeared. “. . . Da Vinci, I really don’t think this is going anywhere,”

“Just one more try! I’m certain that this time we’ll get a powerful new Saber Servant!”

Tyler sighed, but did it one more time, and once again the holographic summoning circle lit up.

For the briefest second he got excited, as the unmistakable shape of a blade appeared in midair.

Then the dagger clattered to the ground, and the lights died, and, just to cap it off, one of the hologram emitters caught fire.

“. . Sorry, Da Vinci, but I think you need to check your math,”

“This . . was supposed to work!” Da Vinci fumed.

Chapter Text

Tyler and Lily landed in a heap, on a green plain. Hills rose in the distance in one direction, a forest waited in the other. It was, by every conceivable metric, a generic chunk of wilderness that couldn't have been more blandly ambiguous if it had been translated straight out of Minecraft and into reality. "Alright, we're here. Lily? All good?"

"I ought to ask you that, Master," Lily mumbled.

"I'll take that as a yes. Kiyohime?"

"Present!" a slightly crushed bush informed him, and the dragon girl picked herself up, cleaning twigs out of her hair.

"Phew. Dr. Roman? How are the scanners looking?"

"So, we're getting some interesting readings here," Dr. Roman told them.

Tyler grimaced, suspecting bad news. "Interesting how?"

"You know how in Orleans, Okeanos and Septem we couldn't Rayshift you out of the Singularity, because the Holy Grails there were generating interference and keeping you trapped in that reality?"

"Um. Yeah?" He immediately began to fear the worst.

"We're not getting that this time. The connection's smooth and stable. We can bring you home at a moment's notice if need be," Dr. Roman nodded with a small smile.

All the tension immediately left Tyler's body, and he heaved out a sigh of relief. "That's all? Oh, phew. That's good!"

"Actually, no, it isn't," Olga-Marie interjected, peering over Dr. Roman's shoulder. "It means that this Singularity isn't one of the ones that are threatening the Foundation of Humanity,"

"There can be Singularities like that? Naturally occurring ones?" the Master blinked.

"Indeed! Actually, dealing with things like this if and when they happen was part of the original purpose of Chaldea," Da Vinci brightly explained. "It's just, simply, an anomaly in time and space. A naturally occurring blip in reality, caused by some shenanigan that someone got up to at some point in the past that the world took exception to for some reason,"

"Ah. Right. Got it. So . . do we actually need to do anything about this, then?"

"Mm, technically no but also very much yes," the Caster explained. "The fate of the world may not be at stake, but the fate of our pantry most certainly is!"

". . I'm sorry, did you just say 'the fate of our pantry'?"

"What Da Vinci means to say is that we're running low on some critical supplies. Including food," Dr. Roman pointed out. "If things hadn't gone a bit pear-shaped at the end in Rome, we would have liked to get you to gather up as many resources as you could. But, well, things happened,"

Tyler nodded with a grumble. "So, we need food. Anything else?"

"Well, materials for magecraft, building supplies, metals - How about you three just bring back as much as you can carry?" Da Vinci offered him a sweet smile.

". . You know I've only got two arms right?!"

"Hey, Master, remember the weird ring of light in the sky?" Kiyohime, having noticed something, gestured upwards. "I think we just got an answer about whether it's a thing that happens in every Singularity,"

Tyler looked up at the sky. It was clear and blue, with nary a cloud. And not a ring of light to be seen. ". . Well. I'm sure that means something. Beats me if I know what, though,"

"Ahem. Master?" Lily interrupted, pointing at a nearby hill. "I'm not sure if this helps, but if we need metal there's some kind of collapsed building over there. It's an odd shape but it should be -" She was cut off by a loud gasp from her Master, who frantically brought up his communicator.

"Da Vinci," Tyler breathlessly asked, already starting in the direction of the 'building', "am I looking at a genuine, real-life spaceship?"

For their part, every member of the command team was equally flummoxed. On the screen, and being beheld by Tyler's naked eye, was a large silver vessel painted with a giant yellow X, whose nose was buried beneath a hill, adorned with blue highlights and curved, retro-futuristic fins. The vessel was noticeably worn and rusted, as though it had been abandoned for years, but the fact remained that it was, quite obviously, a spaceship.

"So. Is this a moon lander or something? Because I've seen videos of space launches and none of them looked like this," the boy questioned.

"No, I'm certain it's nothing like that. This looks much too advanced, more advanced than anything any country's space program has ever put out, and following entirely different design principles too," Da Vinci shook her head. "That's not all, I'm detecting trace amounts of some kind of exotic matter. I . . I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think we're looking at something that didn't originate from planet Earth at all!"

"There are aliens now?!" Tyler choked in disbelief. "I . . I thought this was a time travel fantasy thing! No one told me there would be aliens!"

"Tyler, please stop using genre savviness as a coping mechanism. It's not healthy," Dr. Roman warned him. "The fact remains, there is a spaceship in front of you. All else aside, I'm sure that it's going to be full of useful materials that Da Vinci can take advantage of. I'm going to alert the other Servants, it looks like we might have to start Rayshifting this alien debris back piece by piece, since it's not like we can bring something that large back all at -"

"Romani what's that weird light on the radar? Is it a Spirit Origin? I've never seen one that colour before!" A sudden shrill shriek from their Director cut off the medical head's strategy, and everyone immediately refocused.

"Damnit! I guess it was too much to ask, to find a Singularity without any unknown Servants summoned to it," Dr. Roman groused. "You've got some kind of entity incoming, but - um - I don't know what we're looking at!"

"It doesn't match any of the established seven Class Containers," Da Vinci clarified. "That means it must be an Extra Servant Class, like Ruler, Avenger and Alter Ego. But it also doesn't match any of those. We're about to come face to face with something new,"

"I see it! It's flying!" Lily drew her Master's attention, and they focused on a bright blue light that was approaching them, looking for all the world like a shooting star. Before he could even prepare for combat, the unknown entity hit the ground a hundred metres away with a shockwave that almost knocked him off his feet and sent dust and dirt spraying into the air.

A mechanical whirring resonated in their eardrums as a pair of glowing blue eyes leered at them, heralding the approach of a not-quite-humanoid figure from the dust cloud. It was almost female-shaped, but made entirely of metal coloured a mix of white, purple and dark blue, with a wide skirt of thrusters framing its legs. A quartet of massive mechanical wings were mounted on its back in the shape of an X, glowing with a slowly-fading blue light. Red energy wrapped around its neck, trailing into the distance behind it like some kind of laser scarf. Its head was strangely rabbit-shaped, with two giant white ear-like sensory dishes shaped like trapezoids protruding above a curved blue faceplate that was similarly sculpted to suggest a lapine motif. That same pair of glowing blue eyes regarded them impassively for a few seconds.

Then the mysterious humanoid machine's faceplate popped open and revealed a very familiar face; one that looked exactly the way Tyler would picture Lily looking were she to mature to Altria's age - the age she should have been summoned at if she had been summoned properly. "Oh, hi Lily! Fancy seeing you here again. Man, isn't this nostalgic? Haha!"

"Um. I'm sorry, do I know you?" Lily all but whimpered in response.

The older version of her paused. "Huh. You don't remember me? You must be a different version then. Hey, alright! I get to do this again, and properly this time! Okay, time for an introduction!"

She paused and drew herself up to her full height, then realised that wasn't much and lifted a couple of feet into the air for good measure. "I am the Saber of Sabers! The ultimate space Saber! The one and only Mysterious Heroine XX!" For a glorious moment, flashing lights and heroic background music (conveniently provided by her armour) emphasized her declaration.

Then it all came crashing down as Da Vinci yelled "Wrong! I don't know what kind of Spirit Origin that's supposed to be, but you absolutely are not a Saber!"

XX spluttered, then pouted. "Oi! You couldn't have just gone along with it? Why do you always have to rain on my space parade like that, Da Vinci?" she whined as her feet met the ground again and her wings somehow, seemingly, folded away into directions and dimensions that made the Chaldeans' eyes hurt to try to watch.

". . Hang on, you know who I am? How?" the Renaissance Man squinted at her, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"What does that mean? You're - much older and taller than you were last time I saw you," XX paused, tilting her head in confusion, heedless of the way Da Vinci spluttered incoherently at being called 'old'. "Hey, is Master there? I feel like the easiest way to sort this out would be to get him in on this,"

"You have a Master? Who is he?" The hologram flickered to show Dr. Roman instead - and XX physically jumped, eyes widening as though she'd seen a ghost.

"Gah! I'm, uh, well," she stammered, refocusing on Tyler and for the first time noticing the Command Spells on his hand. "You're a Master. A Master of Chaldea? Another Master of Chaldea?"

"Um, yeah?" Tyler nodded.

". . That can't be right. What kind of Last Master of Humanity lets there be another Master of Humanity? Does 'Last' mean something else around here? Does my space dictionary need an update?" she fretted, waving her arm and miming in mid-air, as though she were browsing an augmented reality device only she could see.

". . Okay, I have to know, what is a space dictionary and how is it different from a regular dictionary?"

XX glanced at him. "Isn't it obvious? A space dictionary is a space book that tells me what all the space words mean if I forget! It's a really useful space tool!"

Tyler decided this was the best explanation he was going to get. ". . Right. So if you're not a Saber, then what are you?"

"No! No no no, I can't tell you that I'm a Foreigner because you have to believe me when I say that I'm a Saber! Because if I'm here with you right now," she pointed at Lily, "then this is the part of the timeline where I'm supposed to teach you how to be a better Saber! And you won't listen to me if you know that I'm not a Saber!"

Again, there was a pause.

"So you're a Foreigner, then? What's that?" Lily inquisitively asked with a jaunty tilt of her head.

"Gah! How did you know that?!" XX all but screamed.

Once again, Tyler tried to salvage the situation. "So, you're a rogue Servant, aren't you? Do you know why you were summoned to this Singularity? Or why the Singularity exists in the first place?"

"No, I wasn't summoned here, I just used Imaginary Numbers Space as a shortcut. I think I must have taken a wrong turn at Timeless Academia, though, because I really didn't mean to end up back here,"

"And how exactly do you claim to have gotten through Imaginary Numbers Space?" Da Vinci pressed as Tyler looked baffled.

"Me and, more importantly, my armour, are both from the Servant Universe! Specifically, the Sapphire Galaxy!" XX told them as if that explained everything.

Tyler tried to process this. "So, you're a Servant from another universe?"

"Yeah, basically. I'm not the same kind of Servant you're used to, though, things work different where I'm from. I'm part of the space police!"

". . That sounds like a dream job?"

"Not really," XX sighed. "I kinda have to settle after I flunk out of high school,"

". . did you mean to say that in the present tense?"

"Yep!"

"Perhaps we should get back onto the topic of the spaceship?" Da Vinci intervened.

"Well, actually, that spaceship used to belong to me. I called it the Dun Stallion II. It crashed in this Singularity ages ago, and this is where I met Master and ended up joining that other Chaldea. We all tried really really hard to get it fixed, buuuuut no one knew the first thing about repairing spaceships so nothing we tried really, y'now, worked. Eventually Gaia got grumpy," XX tapped the ground with her foot, "and made this Singularity disappear, and we sorta had to evacuate and leave it behind. Then I got my shiny new space armour, Avalon, and now I don't need that old thing anyway!" XX summarised. "I can't believe it's still here. It's been like five years. Though I guess there was a lot of time travel in there too so it might have been a lot less," She paused and looked at the ship again. "Or maybe a lot more. Huh,"

"I, uh, see," Tyler said after a long moment. "So, we can't fix it and use it to ferry supplies from this Singularity to Chaldea then,"

"Nope! I wouldn't have the first clue how to do something like that," XX shrugged in apology. "But if we only need it for the one trip, that's fine too! We can just load it up and then I'll carry it back to Chaldea for you! Easy!" A crafty look crossed her face. "As long as I'm compensated, of course!"

"Uh. Depends, what do you have in mind?" He was hesitant to promise this strange alien(?) Servant anything.

As if on cue, the space policewoman's stomach growled. "Food! Something filling! I haven't eaten anything but instant ramen in the last month!"

"Funny you should mention that, we're actually here to resupply on food," Tyler mused.

"Then there's no time to waste! There's probably a town somewhere in that direction, let's get ready to go!" XX promptly turned and started walking in a direction completely unlike the one she'd just indicated, approaching the Dun Stallion II.

After a moment's hesitation, the Chaldeans followed her.

XX tapped a door on the side of the hull that was three feet off the ground and at an angle due to the crash, and frowned, then grabbed the handle and fired up her rockets. "You three might want to get down!"

"What?!" Tyler blinked, and his Servants frantically pulled him to the ground as XX rocketed overhead, ripping the door off its hinges as she went. She tossed it into the middle distance, then swept back in, parts of her armour folding up at impossible angles and vanishing in ways that their brains couldn't quite process.

"Come in!" she called after a moment of them standing there, stunned.

Hesitantly, the Chaldeans slid through the slanted door, and found themselves in what Tyler could only describe as an appropriately retro-futuristic control room that looked straight out of Star Trek. Their host had eschewed the captain's chair and was fiddling with one of the control panels, letters scrolling by in a language Tyler didn't recognise but looked like Japanese.

"Huh, that can't be right," XX frowned, tapping a button.

"What is it?" Lily asked, joining her.

"This space computer must have had a space glitch or something. It's insisting that it's been more than three thousand years since it crashed,"

". . Is that space years or normal Earth years?"

"Same thing, silly. Like, duh, what would a 'space year' be? That sounds silly," XX brushed the question off.

Tyler cast her a very flat look that she ignored, then asked his second question. "Would a computer from your universe still work after three thousand years?"

"I mean, probably? Time doesn't work the same way where I'm from as it does here, so we kinda have to build stuff to last or there'd be no point looking for stuff that got lost in space,"

The Master's brow furrowed. "What do you mean, time doesn't work the same way?"

"Have you ever experienced the same exact event happening for a second or third time as though it's the first time all over again so that people who weren't with you the first time can see what happened?"

"Uh. No?"

"Lucky you, dealing with that sort of thing makes me really grumpy," XX huffed. "Not to mention OVAs. Season 1 and 2 have both been and gone but the OVA that's supposed to be between them isn't going to happen until next April,"

Tyler considered this. Then he stopped and considered it more. Then he spontaneously developed a headache. ". . But . . what?"

"Don't worry about it, most people who don't have first-hand experience with it can't understand," XX assured him. "Getting back on topic. This thing was a piece of junk before it crashed and now it's definitely not going anywhere. But it's still intact enough that we can use it to carry cargo. We're just gonna have to bring everything we can gather up back here and load it up!"

". . That's gonna take a long time, isn't it," the Master grumbled.

"It's okay, we'll just split into teams! I'll go with Master, you two go in the other direction," Kiyohime immediately suggested.

"Don't worry about any of that! This is why we have montage sequences!" XX assured them with a grin.

Tyler cast her a confused glance. "Wait, what do you -"

XX

"- mean 'montage' wait how did we get here?!" he screamed, finding himself to suddenly in the middle of helping Kiyohime and XX gather up trees as Lily used Caliburn like an impromptu lumberjack.

"Just go with it," XX instructed, "we've already started and you can't interrupt -"

XX

"- a montage," she finished, bringing down her spear at a quarry with exposed chunks of ore. "Double X Dynamic!"

Tyler and his Servants took cover as the quarry exploded and raw metal rained down around them. "But - montages aren't a real thing! And why are we blowing up a quarry?"

"Da Vinci-chan needs metal," their tech support advised them from Chaldea. "I do however have questions -"

XX

"- about what exactly is happening over there?"

"It's a montage!" XX repeated as they gathered up the displaced chunks of ore and loaded them into the Dun Stallion II.

"But that doesn't -"

XX

"- explain anything!" Da Vinci complained, watching her field agents gather wheat in a field while a suspicious-looking woman in farmer's scrubs cautiously approached them.

"We've been spotted! Cheese it!" XX suddenly yelled and they sprinted out of the field.

XX

As soon as they had passed through the gate, they were back in the Dun Stallion II's hold, loaded up with lumber, processed metals, and a varied assortment of foodstuffs that Tyler did not recall gathering even at any point during the montage.

"There we go! See? Easy!" XX folded her armoured arms and grinned.

A scream of shock from Kiyohime drew everyone's attention, and they joined her at the window. "When did it become night-time?!"

"It's what?!" Da Vinci radioed. "What in the - that whole montage thing took less than five minutes on this end, but I've suddenly got a day and a half's worth of data to sift through! You were just teleporting around and - I have so many questions?"

"It's just because my ship rusted. The Altrium Particles have broken down and merged with this Singularity's reality. The quantum physics of this place are halfway between my universe's and yours, and we can exploit that a bit," the Foreigner clarified with a grin.

". . What the hell kind of quantum physics lets you have a real-life montage sequence?" Tyler mumbled.

"The Sapphire Galaxy's kind, duh! Anyway, the fridge is broken and if we leave all that meat we gathered lying around for too long, it's gonna spoil, so we should probably get going," XX pointed out.

"Hold on! You haven't actually done anything to resolve this Singularity!" Da Vinci interrupted from Tyler's communicator.

At the reminder, XX snapped her fingers. "Oh, right, we forgot to find the Holy Grail. Damnit, should have done that during the montage,"

"You think a Holy Grail caused this Singularity? Why? Where would one have come from?" Lily pressed.

XX cast her a 'well, duh' look. "Isn't it obvious? People wouldn't want to play these events if they couldn't get a Grail as a reward. It's practically obligatory. As for where they come from, who knows? They kinda just pop up everywhere whenever the plot calls for one. Random wastelands, mental spaces, the occasional horror movie pocket dimension,"

"Please stop talking, every word out of your mouth is another hole poked in my understanding of reality," Tyler pleaded.

"Well, if your understanding of reality is that crude it deserves to have holes poked in it!" XX retorted.

"Miss, uh, XX, please," Dr. Roman plaintively asked, "We're already worried about Tyler's mental and emotional health. Don't make it worse,"

"Who's using genre savviness as a unhealthy coping mechanism now?" the Master folded his arms.

"It's still you!"

"Regardless of her . . what I'm hesitant to call 'logic' . . XX is correct, I am detecting a Grail in this Singularity. Or, more specifically, I'm sifting through the thirty-four hours' worth of data we just got in five minutes, and I'm already seeing the energy signature of a Grail. You went straight past it at least once," Da Vinci informed them. "I can triangulate its position, give me a few minutes,"

"Great! That'll be enough time for me to get the ship out of the ground so that it's ready to leave!" XX was already making for the hatch as she spoke.

"That's not going to involve another montage, right?"

"Nope, but you might want to hold on to something!" the Foreigner's voice called back to them from outside, along with the distinct sound of space rocket engines powering up.

"Phew," Tyler relaxed at the confirmation, then paused as he processed the rest of the statement. ". . Wait, what?"

Then the ship lurched around him, lifting and twisting and sending all three Chaldeans stumbling and sliding into a wall as the lopsided deck slid closer to vertical.

"Sorry!" XX yelled as the ship slowly righted itself. "Misjudged the weight distribution! Compensating!"

X

After a particularly nauseating ride (and the absolute ruination of all of Tyler's fantasies about flying in a spaceship), XX set what was left of the spaceship down. As the Chaldeans were picking themselves up, she burst back in, looking uncharacteristically panicked. "Shit, shit shit I almost forgot something really important!"

"What is it?"

"The whole point of this event is that I'm supposed to be training Saber Lily to be a better Servant and resolve her inferiority complex!"

Lily tilted her head in confusion. ". . My what?"

"Do you not feel guilty about how everyone else in Chaldea has been able to upgrade their Noble Phantasms except you?"

"Wait you can upgrade Noble Phantasms? That sounds really useful," Tyler interjected.

"I haven't upgraded my Noble Phantasm . . I didn't realise that was an option?" Kiyohime weighed in.

Ignoring the other two, XX stared questioningly at the immature Saber. For her part, Lily considered, then shrugged a bit. "Well. I don't really feel inferior - if anything, being the one to land the final blow to Boudica in Rome was a bit of an ego boost - but I wouldn't be a very good Servant if I passed up an opportunity to serve my Master better, so if you're offering to help me get stronger I'll happily accept,"

"Great. Step one, go outside and fight," With that, XX grabbed her younger lookalike and threw her straight out through the door.

She then glanced at the other two. "Wait, did I hear that right? Did she say you fought Boudica?"

"She was trying to destroy Rome," Tyler pointed out. "Were we . . not supposed to?"

"Boudica did what?! What is wrong with your timeline?"

"The person who just somehow put us through a real life montage doesn't get to say things like that!" the Master hotly retorted, and his Berserker nodded in empathetic agreement.

"Master! Help!" Lily's voice came from the airlock.

Tyler sharply inhaled. "Kiyo, go!" The Berserker was already leaping out through the door. "What did you do?"

"It's just not a proper Singularity if there's not even a little bit of fighting involved. So I found some Arms of Dawn for her to kill!" XX brightly explained.

"Wha - Arms of Dawn? What're those?" Tyler was already making for the door to take a look, but the sight before him was baffling.

Lily and Kiyohime were fighting hands. Large hands growing out of the ground, attached to ambulatory tree roots and reaching up with open palms to the heavens. Their sizes ranged from about the same as Tyler's own to as wide around as a tree, and were colour-coded accordingly; the smallest were bronze, average-sized was silver, and the largest were bright gold. Above each of their palms was a nexus of glowing bright light and heat, matching the hand's colour, and every few seconds a fireball spat out from the tiny sun, pelting Lily and Kiyohime.

"What am I looking at?" he spluttered as Lily started hacking her way through the wrist of a silver hand.

"Hands and Arms of Dawn. You know the god Prometheus?"

"The Greek guy who gave fire to humanity? Uh, yeah sure,"

"He's a fan of Chaldea and wants to help us all get stronger, so he sends these things every now and then,"

Lily yelped in pain as a fireball splashed off her sleeve, leaving a singe. ". . How is this supposed to be helpful?"

"They drop Blazes of Wisdom!" XX cheerily informed him.

"Is that what this thing is?" Kiyohime yelled up at them, holding up a small silver star that looked like a frozen, crystallised version of the tiny sun that had been floating above one of the silver arms.

"You got it! Now eat it!" the Foreigner insisted with a double thumbs up.

"What? No way! It's been in the dirt! It's all gross and germ - ow!" the Berserker shrieked and involuntarily leapt into the air as a fireball bounced off her thigh.

"Okay, enough," Tyler raised his hand and gestured. "Sea House Shower!" A splash of water erupted from his hand and splashed over the offending Blaze, causing its light to dim as it let out a cloud of steam.

"Huh? I thought you were human, how'd you do that?!" XX blinked.

"I have magic boxer shorts that give me water powers under my uniform. This is the second-coolest day of my life," Tyler assured her with a grin as Kiyohime dispatched the Divine Arm of Dawn.

As the battle wore on, it became evident that despite their durability, the Hands and Arms had very little in the way of offensive power. Despite the burns and singes they inflicted, the damage was always minor. It wasn't long before the strange monsters had been cleaned up, leaving the Chaldeans with a small pile of gold, silver and bronze crystals of Spiritrons.

"Okay. I guess this is just part of our resource gathering," Tyler surmised. "Pack it into the ship!"

"So! Do you feel stronger?" XX pressed as Lily carried the crystals into the Dun Stallion II and dumped them into a corner.

"If I say yes, will you not do that again?"

"Sure!"

"Then yes. I feel stronger. Now, how about this Grail?"

"On it!" With that, XX jetted out of the ship and soon they were off again. This time, though, it only took five minutes before they were setting down outside a town. "We're here!"

Hesitantly, Tyler looked out. "That's . . a very normal looking town,"

"Well, sure, it's not like this is a Valentine's Day event," XX shrugged from where she was floating outside the airlock, beckoning to them. "C'mon, let's get this wrapped up!"

So they approached the town, Lily taking point, Kiyohime watching out behind them, XX floating overhead. Tyler stayed in the centre, Mystic Codes primed and ready, fully expecting an attack to come from any angle.

They passed a house, and a door swung open.

Lily span, bringing her sword up. Kiyohime's fists caught fire and she put herself between the threat and her Master. XX produced an unnecessarily large, double-ended spear from absolutely nowhere, both ends glowing with light, and prepared to fire.

The assailant, a slim woman with dark skin and navy blue hair, stared at them for a moment, then shook her head. "Nope, nope. I don't know what sort of nonsense dream this is supposed to be but I'm not having any of it! I'm going back to bed!"

The door slammed shut in their face, and all four blinked.

"We're being paranoid, aren't we?" Lily asked.

"Well so far we haven't ever managed to retrieve a Grail without at least two fights," Kiyohime pointed out. "Still, let's keep going,"

"That girl looked familiar," XX frowned thoughtfully, then shrugged. "Eh, maybe I met my universe's version of her once or something,"

"No, she looks familiar because that's the farmer whose wheat we stole during the montage," Tyler corrected her.

"Oh. So she is. My bad!"

So they continued to make their way into the town, finding it deserted.

"Should there be people here?" Lily asked.

"Who cares, Singularities are weird about that sometimes. I see the Grail!" XX cheered, gesturing to a fountain in the centre of town . . a fountain that had a familiar golden chalice affixed to it.

". . Is that a Holy Grail being used as part of an ornamental fountain?" Tyler questioned, confused.

"Who would use a Grail for something like that? Is it even doing anything there?" Lily frowned.

Kiyohime approached, looking closer. "It's not even attached! It's just hanging off the top!"

"Wait, there might be a booby trap!" Tyler warned as Kiyohime stepped into the fountain.

She screamed.

"What is it?!" her Master gasped, rushing towards her.

"It's cold!"

Everyone drew to a halt, looking at her ankles, which were submerged in the icy water splashing out of the Grail. "It's . . cold water," XX slowly repeated.

"This Singularity is in the middle of springtime, I wasn't expecting it to be cold!" the dragon-girl defended herself.

Carefully, still expecting a trap, Tyler joined her in the fountain and pulled the Holy Grail from where it had fallen.

Any and all traps, threats or guardians failed to materialise.

". . Someone literally just left a Grail here, then?"

"It might have just fallen out of the sky and happened to land here. These things happen," XX shrugged.

Tyler exchanged one last glance with his Servants, then looked around once again at the seemingly empty village. He couldn't shake the feeling that they were missing something. "Well, I guess that's all. Are we going back to the ship?"

"That won't work, I don't actually know the way to your Chaldea. Just Rayshift back and I'll follow your trail," XX assured him.

"Got it, that makes . . more sense than most of the things you've said. Da Vinci, are we ready?"

"All good, no issues on our end. Bringing you back!" Da Vinci reported, and the sight of the town was replaced with blue light.

Chapter Text

The female farmer gazed at the fountain where she'd left her Holy Grail. ". . Shit, that wasn't a dream, was it? There were people here. Actual, other people . . and they stole my Grail and left! That's so rude!"

She paused, processing this. ". . They stole my Grail. The Grail that was keeping this Singularity intact. That means this place is gonna disappear soon . . and it also means that it won't be keeping her asleep anymore . . this is bad. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna double die. I'm supposed to have B ranked luck, why does stuff like this always happen to me?!"

X

Only a minute after Tyler and his Servants had emerged from the Rayshift Coffins, Holy Grail in hand, there was a siren blaring.

A couple of moments of frantic running brought them to the windows that usually looked out over the snowy Antarctic tundra, where many of the other staff and Servants had already gathered in bemusement.

XX, carrying the massive, rusted vessel of the Dun Stallion II, was floating outside, fully armoured up and entirely unbothered by the seemingly-perpetual snowstorm that raged outside Chaldea. "So do you want this anywhere in particular?" she broadcast, her voice coming from the communicator attached to Tyler's wrist.

He decided not to worry about the fact that at no point had he given her a frequency by which she could radio him, because that was possibly the most believable thing the alien had done all day, and simply said, "It's probably too big to fit inside the loading bay, so how about just outside?"

"On it!" The spaceship drifted away, and a moment later landed with a thunk that sent a visible cloud of powder drifting past the window.

Tyler was already running towards the cargo loading bay. When he arrived, the massive, reinforced garage door that kept the elements out of Chaldea's single largest room was already sliding open to admit XX.

"Well, howdy, handsome!" Tarquinius greeted the alien, who courteously nodded in his direction as the brisk winds and snow chased her inside.

"Don't close that yet! We need to get everyone down here who can handle the cold to help unload the ship!" Not just addressing the Rider, Tyler was also speaking into his communicator, repressing a shiver as he made for a coatrack that had been installed next to the door for the sake of convenience while the Servants - not only Kiyohime and Lily, but many of the others affiliated with Chaldea who'd picked up on the commotion - chased after Tarquinius as he strode into the snow. Shrugging on a fur-lined black coat with the laurel-wrapped crescent moon that was Chaldea's logo printed on its back, the Master ran to meet XX as she shook the snow out of her wings. "Thanks. That saved us a lot of time,"

"My pleasure! Always happy to help Chaldea!" XX assured him, her helmet retracting once again as she brushed snow from her thruster skirt. "Even if it's not strictly my Chaldea,"

"Yeah, I think everyone's gonna have some questions for you about that,"

"I certainly do," Tyler tried not to be startled as Altria appeared behind, Excalibur in hand as she stalked past to square off with the futuristic space cop. "Who and what exactly are you? Because if I'm not mistaken, you share my Spirit Origin. One that hasn't been corrupted like mine, but is still, somehow . . warped,"

XX, though, was having a radically different reaction. She'd gone very still, and the massive, double-ended lance she'd briefly produced in the Singularity was once again in her hands and glowing with mounting power. "Saber," she hissed through gritted teeth, clearly embroiled in some kind of internal struggle.

Excalibur flared with red light in turn as Altria quirked an eyebrow. "Yes?"

A faint sensation of vibration crept over Tyler's skin, one that he'd come to associate with detecting prana being released, as both weapons brightened - but, to his horror, the mysterious lance was not only glowing brighter and energising faster than Excalibur was, but he'd observed Excalibur charging up multiple times in the past and had thought he had a handle on it as one of the most powerful magics he'd seen to date, eclipsed only by the Holy Grails . . yet this lance had already shot straight past that threshold and was still building in power. Just what sort of impossible level of strength did XX possess?

Altria was clearly aware of it too, as her confident expression cracked a bit. "I get the feeling like the two of us should not fight in here or the collateral damage might get a bit too excessive," She also felt like the odds of victory were not in her favour, but of course wasn't going to admit to that.

XX closed her eyes and grunted, and the destructive light began to fade from her lance as she slid it back into whatever pocket dimension she used as storage. "I . . don't need to kill an ally of Chaldea," she grunted to herself. "That would be counterproductive, and Master would get upset,"

"Have you got a problem with Sabers or something?" Altria honestly questions.

"SABERS ARE -" XX practically exploded, but stopped, forcibly reigning herself in. "Where I'm from, Sabers are trouble. They are the scourge of the Sapphire Galaxy, and, due to being widely recognised as 'the best class', their relentless proliferation resulted in most of the other classes being diminished. Lancers were almost wiped out, and we came closer than anyone wanted to the entire class of Archer being declared criminals for having greater capability to resist and injure Sabers. When I was younger and a bit less mature, I was," she sighed, "maybe just a little bit obsessed with saving the galaxy by driving all Sabers to extinction,"

Tyler and Altria both blinked at her. ". . Why Archers?" he asked, because that seemed like the only safe way to respond to that.

"Archers beat Sabers. Duh,"

"She's not wrong. It's been weeks and I'm still sore from Sita's Noble Phantasm, back in Singularity F," Altria mumbled.

"I'm here! We're here! What have we missed?" Tyler registered Nikki's voice, and all three turned to see the three command room team leaders, as well as Nikki and Era, joining them. A pale pallor had fallen across the former's face, but despite her evident lingering illness, she was still insistently striding at the head of the group.

"So this is our mysterious visitor?" Da Vinci observed. "Fascinating. That armour certainly doesn't look like something that should exist in our world,"

"This 'Mysterious Heroine XX' was just about to tell us exactly who and what she is," Altria informed them.

"I'm more interested in who and what you are!" the Foreigner burst out, jabbing a finger at Dr. Roman.

The chief of medical raised his eyebrows in surprise, gesturing to himself. "Me?"

"Yes! You're -" XX paused, tilting her head. "Unless you aren't . . Are you Dr. Roman? Like, plain old Doctor Romani Archaman?"

". . As far as I know, yes?"

"That is so weird, what is up with this timeline. Okay, sure, whatever, this is a thing apparently,"

"Back to the topic at hand! Who are you?" Olga-Marie demanded.

XX pulled off her helmet. "I'm a female King Arthur from space and also the future," she deadpanned.

"Yes, we covered that," Tyler nodded.

"Perhaps we should take this to the briefing room?" Da Vinci suggested.

"If we're taking this anywhere, it's the cafeteria," XX insisted. "I'm hungry!"

X

"So, just to reiterate; you're from an alternate universe that's populated almost entirely by Servants, where you're a TV show star," Olga-Marie repeated.

"Aren't we all at one point or another?" XX agreed. "Well, I guess not you lot, since this is text-based fiction."

"In your universe, something happened at some point in the past that overwrote the laws of reality, and turned almost all of the world's humans into Servants. Or, based on your description of how your sort of Servant still needs things like food and sleep, more like Demi-Servants. The only people excluded from this effect are the last seven Masters in the galaxy, but you're contracted with a Master who isn't one of those seven,"

"Of course I am, my Master's the best. I wasn't going to pick one of those other guys," XX assured them.

"And you came here because you were trying to get to a different version of Chaldea, but got lost somehow and instead ended up here,"

"Yeah, exactly! I mean, when I dropped the ship here it was sorta obvious that I was in the wrong place, because in this timeline the Chaldea observatory hasn't been destroyed yet, but at that point I was already here so I figured I might as well hang around long enough to enjoy a dinner from this universe's Nameless Red, see how he stacks up," the Foreigner shrugged. "Speaking of, can we have this chat over some grub? All I've eaten in the last week is instant ramen,"

"Wait, you just said something horrifying," Dr. Roman observed.

"Yeah, the ramen diet sucks," XX commiserated.

"No, not that! What was that about the observatory being destroyed?" he demanded.

"Oh. Oops. Uh, spoilers?"

Everyone cast her flat looks.

"Yep, didn't think that'd work. Don't worry, everything worked out fine. Uh, y'now, mostly. How about that food? Can't believe Nameless hasn't shown up yet to yell at me, where's he at?"

"Who's that?" Nikki cocked an eyebrow, a nauseous waver in her voice. Evidently, she wasn't quite over her food poisoning yet.

"Y'now, Archer, red coat, white hair, likes throwing swords at people, great chef, total den mother . . Nothing? Wait, really?" XX tilted her head in disbelief. "You don't have Nameless here? But how can you have a Chaldea without Nameless Red? Who does your cooking?"

"The kitchen staff," Olga-Marie replied. "Now, we need more details about how Chaldea was destroyed in other timelines. If we feed you, will you tell us?"

"Hmmm. Yeah, that sounds like a fair trade!"

X

"So, basically," XX said through a mouthful of pasta. In the time it had taken to prepare lunch, the Servants had finished unloading the Dun Stallion II, and seeing the amount of food that Tyler and co. had somehow managed to harvest from the Singularity, they had promptly abandoned all thoughts of rationing. Da Vinci had gleefully excused herself to investigate the alien technology, but aside from her, almost the entire complement of Chaldea's staff had gathered to hear what the Mysterious Heroine had to tell them about other worlds. Glancing around, Nikki determined that the only Servant who was missing was Taisui, and knowing him he was probably taking a nap. Everyone wanted to know what XX had to say.

"Alien trees came from space and turned the whole world into laundry detergent," XX summarised.

A moment of silence greeted this proclamation.

". . . what?" Dr. Roman parroted, his expression the platonic ideal of confusion.

"I'm serious. Endless white powder and tree branches covering the sky," the Foreigner shrugged. "It wasn't cold enough to be snow, or edible enough to be sugar or salt. So it must have been detergent,"

"But . . that . . what kind of sense does that make?" Nikki questioned.

"I dunno. No one tells me anything, because I usually don't care enough to listen, and it doesn't look like that's happened in this timeline anyway," XX shrugged. "That wasn't how Chaldea got destroyed in that timeline, though, that happened after that one icy Caster whose name I forget showed up and turned the whole place into a glacier. The laundry detergent came after,"

". . What, like Elsa from Frozen?" Tyler blinked.

Everyone cast a curious look at him.

". . It's the top grossing animated movie of all time, it didn't manage that by being just for girls!"

"No, not like that. Well, maybe a little like that. This one had a pet demon?" XX clarified.

"What about the Incineration of Humanity? Do you have any pertinent information about that?" Director Olga-Marie pressed.

"Hmm. Incineration you say," XX suddenly made a face like she'd bitten into something incredibly sour, which might have been because she'd just taken a bite of a plum. "I've seen something similar in other timelines. Hm, what have you done so far?"

"We just got back from Rome a few days ago," Tyler told her.

"Ah, the Second Singularity. Understood," the Foreigner nodded, swallowing.

". . . Third," Nikki corrected her. "Fourth if you count Singularity F,"

XX choked, spluttering for a minute before coughing up a chunk of plum. "Third?! W-what? No, no, Rome is second!"

"Okeanos was second. Mostly because I ended up there by accident, but still," Nikki corrected her.

"Not in every other timeline!" she countered, shaking her head. "Well! Um! Crap. That means . . that means I have no idea how helpful anything I can offer is. If your timeline's radical enough that you're doing things out of order, then anything goes. Have you even had Halloween yet?"

"It's September, so, no," Dr. Roman pointed out, causing XX to choke and splutter.

"September?!" she finally parroted. "But then I'm, like. four months early! And you lot haven't done London yet, either! You have no idea what you're up against and I don't know either!"

"So the next Singularity is in London? I'll realign SHEBA to focus there," Da Vinci nodded, making a note.

XX froze for a second, then started beating her head against the table. "Damnit, damnit, damnit, I need to stop talking!"

X

While this was going on, though, Taisui crept down the corridor.

The Alter Ego had been having a peaceful time of it over the past couple of weeks. Not being involved in Rome had left him with little to do, which suited him just fine. Nap time was, after all, a luxury that needed to be partaken of at any and every opportunity.

But with everyone on the base occupied by their mysterious guest, he knew this was the best chance he'd have for a while at something he'd been meaning to do.

So he slipped into the control room, taking advantage of the fact that, for the first time in quite a while, it was deserted.

X

"What about your Master? You mentioned the 'Last Master of Humanity'. Badass title, what's he like?" Tyler asked.

"Well, I'm not sure how much I can safely tell you about her," XX admitted. "He's really, really amazing though. There's three of you in this timeline? In her timeline, she's the only one, the sole remaining Master of Chaldea. He handles things all by himself,"

". . why are you alternating pronouns?" Nikki asked.

"Oh, don't worry about that. Was he one of the candidates here? What was his number?" Olga-Marie asked. Noticing the looks she was getting from the three Masters of Chaldea, she defended herself with, "I'm just saying, if something happens to the three of you I want to have a backup plan,"

"Candidate number 48," XX brightly informed them.

X

"Access staff personnel files," Taisui muttered to the computer in the control room, bringing up a folder on the screen. "Access Master Candidate profiles,"

Looking at the complete list of forty-eight files, he scrolled down. The cursor slid past all of Team A, past Era at #9, past Nikki at #29 and even Tyler at #47.

Taisui clicked on the profile for Master Candidate #48.

X

"I don't think it's a good idea for me to tell you about her, though," XX admitted, looking slightly uneasy.

"Why not?"

"Well, Master's just so amazing, I'd hate for any of you to feel useless or pathetic by comparison, he's that kind of girl,"

Nikki exchanged glances with the rest of the staff. "Any of you buying that?"

"I don't and you shouldn't!" Jason hollered from the back of the crowd.

XX considered the request, then sighed a bit and nodded. "Master's dealt with a lot of crap over the course of his life. Like, a lot a lot. She's been fighting a lot of different threats for a long time, and right now he's at a point where he's finally at peace. The more I tell you, the easier it'd be for someone to track her down for one reason or another. Even if you wouldn't, you could pass on the information, or have it tortured out of you, or someone could read your mind, or something like that, and try to track him down, or look at her history, or . . something. Heck, there might be someone listening in right now. He deserves better than that, and I'm not going to compromise her security,"

"He - uh, she? - sounds like a really amazing person," Tyler offered with a wan smile.

"Yep! That's my Ritsuka!" XX cheerfully agreed.

Everyone blinked at her for a moment, and the Foreigner's smile slipped. ". . . OH, F -"

X

Taisui anxiously drummed his fingers as the file for #48 loaded. He watched and waited, expecting - hoping - that the name 'Ritsuka Fujimaru' would appear on the screen.

The screen flickered a bit, and an error message popped up instead.

Error reading file, contents are corrupted.

He tried again, only to receive a new message.

Error 404, file not found.

Taisui's mouth fell open as his eyes went wide with horror.

X

Once XX had finished with her tirade of self-addressed profanity that would need to be heavily redacted from the log of the conversation, Olga-Marie tilted her head thoughtfully. "Ritsuka? Was that candidate 48's name? Doesn't . . sound right . ."

"I don't think I ever talked to Candidate 48. I don't think I ever saw them, actually," Nikki mused, trying to ignore a discomforting noise from her gut.

"It's fine! This is fine. Just the first name? That's not enough to go on, right?" XX seemed to be trying to convince herself more than anyone else.

"Tyler, you're #47, #48 should have been your partner. Did you ever . ." Olga-Marie trailed off, seeing that he was shaking his head.

"I was sick when I arrived here, remember? I pretty much went straight to the infirmary and passed out. Frankly, I'm lucky someone collected my luggage. Forget #48, I never met a single one of the other Masters besides you two,"

"There must be hundreds of people named Ritsuka in the Kaleidoscope! Thousands! Millions! It's fine!"

"Did anyone ever actually meet #48? Because . . I could swear that there was some kind of issue with the schedule, and they never arrived," Dr. Roman mused.

"No, I specifically remember doing a headcount. There were forty-six Masters present at the briefing, and you two were missing," Olga-Marie assured the group, gesturing at Nikki and Tyler. "So #48 has to have been there,"

"There's an easy way to find out," Dr. Roman pointed out to the group. "All the cryogenically frozen Masters and staff are in cold storage. We just have to go down there and take a look,"

X

Panicked, horrified, having abandoned all notion of stealth and barely remembered to turn off the computer before leaving the control room, Taisui pelted down the corridor and stairs, moving at a speed that most who knew him would not have ascribed to the perpetually sleepy Alter Ego.

He skidded to a halt in front of the cold storage room, and wrenched its door open, closing it behind him as he charged into the frosty room and inspected the forty-five impromptu cryogenics pods, laid in three neat rows of fifteen, that held the Masters of Chaldea who had been critically injured by the blast. Conveniently, they were numbered.

He paced down the aisle and was irritated to find that though the Coffins were numbered, they had not been arranged in order, and it took him a moment of desperate searching before he found the one labelled #48.

It was empty.

A horrified Taisui stared through the glass that did not contain the sleeping Master #48.

Then he heard a noise at the door to the cold storage room and frantically dove underneath one of the other Coffins, tucking his knees to his chest in fetal position and feigning sleep.

"Alright, which one is it?" Dr. Roman, leading a surprisingly large group of people, strode into the room.

"Everyone shush!" Nikki suddenly hissed as she followed the chief of medical down the corridor, and the group fell silent.

"What is it?" Era whispered.

"Taisui. He's sleeping,"

Forcing himself to control his breathing, Taisui put his whole being into feigning sleep, ignoring the way most of Chaldea was peering at him.

". . So this is his secret nap spot. I never would have guessed," Olga-Marie quietly observed.

"Damnit, there's no way I'd ever get comfortable in a room this cold, how does he stand it?" Dr. Roman grumbled. "I mean, Servant, but still . . here we go, number #48. This is . . it's empty,"

"What?" Olga-Marie shoved her way through the crowd to peer at the glass. ". . So it is. But I was so certain . . did I miscount?"

"No, that can't be right. The Coffin is here, unused, but set up as though there's someone inside it," the orange-haired man frowned. "The technicians wouldn't have done that for an empty Coffin, someone would have noticed and mentioned it to me or Da Vinci - heck, now that we know about this, we should get this Coffin out of here and back up to the Rayshift room. If we connect this to the system, we'll increase the limit for the number of people we can Rayshift into a Singularity from eleven to twelve,"

"Which is good, but doesn't explain why this Coffin is empty," Nikki frowned.

"What do you think, XX?" Tyler asked, turning to address the Foreigner - only to find her missing. "Where did she go?"

"Master!" Kiyohime's voice reached his ears from the corridor to the left, and he immediately dashed in that direction.

It only took a moment to find Kiyohime blocking the corridor with blue flames, squaring off with XX, who had her spear out but without powering it up. "Master, she was trying to make a run for it!"

"I obviously can't stay here! I keep letting slip important stuff that you're not supposed to know! And I'm early! And everything's going wrong! So I need to leave!" XX wailed.

"Not happening! We're saving the world here, we need to know as much as we can!" the Berserker huffed, advancing

"Oi! Oi! Stay back! I have Class Advantage!"

"Both of you, stop!" Tyler insisted. "I don't want anyone to fight, and obviously we've been pushing XX too hard!"

The rest of the command room team and Masters had caught up by this point, just in time to overhear. "What happened?" the Director pressed.

"I need to get out of here before my possible future knowledge wrecks your timeline!" the Foreigner wailed.

"I think she's on the verge of a panic attack," Tyler clarified. "Maybe we should stop it with the questions,"

"Yes! Please! I've already said way too much!"

"Perhaps we all got a bit too caught up in gathering hints. After all, it's not like this is necessarily our future, just the past of parallel timelines that have gone further than we have," Nikki reasonably pointed out.

"But -" the Director started, and Nikki interrupted by whispering into her ear.

"XX isn't just someone with interesting knowledge, she's a contact point for at least one parallel universe's Chaldea. Possibly more. And they might be able to help us if we're ever in serious trouble. Do you really want to jeopardise that relationship?"

". . good point," Olga-Marie sighed. "Alright, fine. We won't push anymore,"

"Though, is there anything else you can safely tell us about what we're likely to run into in the future? Anything useful?" Nikki questioned. "I'd even take a soothsayer's cryptic hints,"

"Well, alright, fine, I guess I can safely provide a bit more advice. When you go to London," XX hummed for a bit, "Don't bring strong Servants. In fact, bring your weakest. Your most pathetic, useless, un-threatening layabouts,"

"Huh?" the Director raised an incredulous eyebrow.

"Why?" Nikki frowned.

"It's a situation that you can't just punch your way through, it requires brains to solve. Subtlety. Deploying your strongest will make things worse," XX winced. "Okay, uh, what else . . half the stuff that'll probably happen to you, will almost definitely work out fine . . unless things are different in this timeline, in which case I'm as clueless as the rest of you,"

"Can you tell us how many Singularities we have to deal with, then? Please?" Era put herself forward.

". . Seven. I'm surprised you don't even know that, to be honest. There are seven Singularities that are disrupting the Human Order. You've resolved three, so there are four left," XX explained.

"Can you tell us anything about the other three, at all?" Tyler tried.

". . Not really - oh, actually. You want cryptic hints, here's one for you. The Sixth Singularity. I don't really know what you'll be facing there - I mean that literally, there was this weird thing where it happens totally differently across the timelines I've observed, you could be in for anything and I'm clueless. There is one common thread though, one thing that you absolutely need to do while you're in the Sixth Singularity if you're going to have any hope at all of saving this world," XX told them.

"What?"

"Make friends with death," the Foreigner cryptically told them.

The Chaldeans exchanged confused glances. "I asked for this. I literally asked for this," Nikki groaned, which turned into a queasy noise. "Ugh, again . . What was in that casserole?"

"All good then? Great! Now, I have a late lunch to finish!" With that, XX strode off, and her audience began to disperse. Only Tyler kept chasing after her, with Kiyohime hot on his heels on principle of not leaving her Master alone with a strange woman.

"I do have one other question, but not about the future or parallel timelines or anything," he said after a moment.

"That's probably fine?" XX nodded.

"What's Class Advantage? You mentioned it earlier,"

"Is it the name of your lance?" Kiyohime guessed.

"No? Class Advantage is how certain classes are better against other classes? Foreigners beat Berserkers!" XX declared, tapping her own chest and then gesturing to Kiyohime.

". . Is that a thing? I feel like I'd have heard about it if that was a thing," Tyler frowned.

"News to me,"

"Well, of course it is, you're - wait, hang on, are you one-dimensional stalker Kiyohime, crazy vengeful Kiyohime, or weirdly competent harem secretary Kiyohime?" XX checked.

Tyler and Kiyohime both paused, making choking noises. ". . Harem Secretary?!" the Servant finally spluttered.

"Yeah, that's what the Kiyohime in the Daily Chaldea facet of the Kaleidoscope does. She's weirdly good at it too. Never stops being weird, though. Actually, that's true of that whole place. Everyone talks like they're in group texts all the time and you only ever see people's faces," She idly gestured to the world around them. "Not that text-based fiction is all that much better, but at least here people can perceive my hands," For emphasis, XX waffles her fingers, then paused and glared at an offensively out-of-place word. "Waggled! I am waggling my fingers! I hate autocorrect!"

Master and Servant exchanged baffled looks. Then something changed in Kiyohime's expression, and Tyler paused. ". . Kiyo, that's your idea face. What's going through your head?"

"Being Head Wife Kiyohime sounds really nice," she admitted with a dreamy smile.

"And this is the part where I nope out! Sorry, you seem nice but I really only want my Master," XX assured them, backing away.

"Wait, hold on. You have feelings for your Master?" Tyler questioned.

"Yeah, but it's probably not really gonna go anywhere. There are at least three people with better claims to her than me, several others he's more attached to, and at least one of them already married her, so . ." XX shrugged a bit. "I dunno,"

"Marriage?!" A furious flush crept across Kiyohime's face as she grabbed at XX's metal collar. "Tell me everything!"

"No! No! Kiyo, we just talked about not pressing her too much for information!" Tyler growled, grabbing at the back of her kimono and pulling her away. "Sorry about . . her,"

"It's fine, I've dealt with other Kiyohimes before," XX assured him. "Though, you, buddy, look like you have a serious case of HPD,"

". . What's that?"

"Harem Protagonist Disorder!" XX brightly informed him.

Tyler narrowed his eyes. ". . That's not a real thing,"

"Sure it is! Look!" XX fiddled with something in her helmet, and projected into the air between them what looked suspiciously like a Google Search, only the logo at the corner of the screen read 'InTeslaNet'. The listings included things like 'HPD: Causes and Symptoms', 'Could You Be A Harem Protagonist?' and 'How To Live With Your HPD Roommate Without Falling In Love (Results May Vary).'

Momentarily at a loss for words, Tyler struggled to react to this latest example of Servant Universe absurdity, which meant there was nothing stopping XX from opening one of the links. "Symptoms include unresolved childhood trauma, low self esteem, frequent interactions with yanderes,"

"Hey, is that a picture of me?" Kiyohime spluttered, gesturing to the image that accompanied that last heading.

"No, that's Princess O'Key. The legendary stalker who cannot be kept from the object of her affections by any lock,"

"Oh. Uh, okay,"

"Getting back to the topic of 'Harem Protagonist Disorder' . . literally what?" Tyler insisted.

"If it helps, I can refer you to a support group?" XX suggested. "Ooh, or here's an article on tips, tricks and coping strategies!"

"No! No, I am not a 'harem protagonist'! I don't know what sort of nonsense your universe works on, but we are not living in an anime!"

"Well, actually it's a fanfiction of dubious quality based on a gacha game that got anime adaptations. Carnival Phantasm is the best,"

". . I don't even know what you're saying,"

"Right, of course, sorry. Tip #1; polyamory is your best friend, but don't tell your yanderes that. Apparently someone tried to kill the concept of polyamory out of jealousy once, so the Presi-King had to put some extra laws into place. Tip #1A! Make sure that everyone you get involved with is fully aware that there are other people in your harem, otherwise it's just being an unfaithful lover,"

"Nope, nope, I'm not dealing with this," Tyler shook his head, turning to leave.

"But Master! This sounds like such useful information!" Kiyohime protested, catching his sleeve and trying to hold him in place.

"Tip 2! Divide your attention as equally as you can. It's fine to spoil someone when they're new to your harem, or if you're making up for lost time with someone who's been rejecting your advances, but long term, you must never give anyone the impression that they are secondary to anyone else. Tip 2A; This does not apply if there is a defined hierarchy involved in which some members wilfully accept that they are secondary partners," XX continued to read aloud, one eye on the screen and the other on Tyler's reaction.

"Kiyo, let go of me!"

"No, Master! This is for your own good!"

"Tip #3! Maintain a balance of personalities in your harem. It's important to balance out the passionate and emotional girls you will inevitably attract with cool and mature individuals who will be able to act as mediators during the inevitable fights. Similarly, you must understand and account for everyone's emotional needs, including your own. If there is someone who would benefit from an older or younger sibling figure, it is your responsibility to attempt to recruit one -"

Tyler finally managed to extricate himself from Kiyohime's grip and immediately vanished down the corridor, moving with such intensity that small trails of flames were left in his wake, and the two Servants watched him go.

Instead of chasing after him, the greenette sidled closer to the Saberface. "I'm going to need print outs of all those articles,"

"Happy to help! They're so adorable when they're in denial!"

X

"Tyler,"

"No," Tyler told his communicator. "I'm not indulging any 'harem protagonist' nonsense,"

Da Vinci's face appeared in blue hologram. "I am very eager to find out what that's all about, but unfortunately we have bigger problems. Round up a couple of your Servants and come join me in the main room, we need to get you prepped for Rayshift immediately,"

"Huh? Again? Why? We just resolved that mini Singularity,"

"Apparently you didn't do a good enough job," Da Vinci informed him. "It's not breaking down and dissipating like it should. We're getting tachyon fluctuations in space-time originating from it. It's breaking down alright, but it looks like there's still something there that doesn't want to go down with the ship, and is insistent on taking a big chunk of our history with it when it does. We can't allow that, so we need you to go back in, figure out what's going on, and hit it until it stops being a problem,"

"Wait, what? Shit! Coming!"

X

"I don't understand," Lily shook her head as Tyler guided her and Joan towards the room that housed CHALDEAS and the Rayshift coffins.

"Isn't it obvious? You two missed something, so now we've gotta go figure out what you screwed up and fix it," Joan shrugged.

"No, it's more than that. That Singularity was incredibly barren. We saw literally one person there. There wasn't any sign of anything that was at all threatening, except the Hands and apparently those were sent by some . . godly fan of ours or something,"

They entered the Rayshift room, and found Da Vinci and a couple of the assistants preparing the Coffins. As well as XX. For some reason. "XX? What are you doing here?"

"This is Saber Wars! I'm the guest star! If this Singularity's not resolved properly, then I'm not just gonna leave it half-finished! Otherwise what's the point of me even being here?" the Foreigner explained.

". . Fine, just, no jokes about 'harem protagonist', okay?" Tyler demanded.

"Hold on, who said anything about that sort of nonsense?" Joan suddenly snapped. "There is absolutely no freaking way that I'm . . um," she trailed off, looking at her Master from the corner of her eye.

"Don't worry, our lovely guest told me all about it," Da Vinci assured them. "She provided some very informative print-outs, too. Rest assured that I'll do everything I can to enable our budding harem king," she cooed with a smile that was a bit too sweet.

"Oh, piss off and don't even think about it!" Joan insisted, storming towards the Caster with a murderous glint in her eye.

She was waylaid when Da Vinci leant in close and whispered, "Rest assured he's too young for me. But young love is precious, so I have every intention of helping you get what you want as long as you play nice. Okay?"

Joan paused, considering this, then nodded with a minute snarl. "You'd better,"

"Of course, of course!" What Da Vinci didn't say was that she intended on providing the same help to every other Servant Tyler contracted who made eyes at him. One had to get their entertainment somehow with all the world's television networks burnt to ashes, and this promised to be juicy.

Tyler and Lily had already strapped themselves into the Coffins, and XX had rematerialised her armour. "We're ready whenever," Joan joined them, the lid sealing shut around her.

"You don't want to bring Kiyohime?"

"Not if she's still going on about that Head Wife nonsense," the Master mumbled.

"Aww. Alright, then. Initiating Rayshift!" Da Vinci declared, signalling the command room staff.

"Unsummon Program, start. Spiritron Conversion, start," the machine droned as the Coffins sealed. "Rayshift starting in 3, 2, 1,"

X

As soon as they recovered from the Rayshift and their eyes worked again, Tyler, Joan, Lily and XX found themselves in the same deserted town where they'd found the Grail, where they were immediately presented with the same woman they'd seen a couple of times while gathering supplies; with familiar dark skin and flowing blue hair. However, she was now clad from the neck down in form-hugging golden and black armour that left her arms bare save for a pair of fingerless black gloves, with noticeably bulky boots and what looked like a space rifle hanging from her shoulder.

She was also lying on the ground and bawling her eyes out.

"I'mgonnadieI'mgonnadieI'mgonnadieI'mgonnadieI'mgonnadieI'mgonnadieI'mgonnadieI'mgonnadieI'mgonnadieI'mgonnadieI'mgonnadieI'mgonnadie," the strange girl was repeating to herself on loop.

"Uh . . excuse me?"

"I'mgonnadieI'mgonn-AHPLEASEDON'TEATME! . ." She leapt to her feet and looked poised to run away, then froze, taking in the sight of the human and three Servants.

"You came back," she breathed, then gasped. "You came back! OhmyTiamatIcan'tbelieveit you came back! I . . oh," she paused. "I can't believe it,"

Blue lights suddenly played across her body, and XX started. "Hey! You have a Saint Graph inside you!"

"Oh, you noticed,"

"What does that mean?" Joan asked.

"She's not just some random village girl who's part of this Singularity. She's like me! She's from the Servant Universe!" XX explained.

"That's correct!" Drawing herself up to her full height, the second alien Servant(?) struck a dynamic pose. "Some know me as Star-Pharaoh. Others, the Sundalorian. Occasionally, even, the Goddess Assassin! The treasure hunter with armour of Sarcophageskar, the heir of Planet Nile and Guardian of the Sapphire Galaxy, I am the mighty and dazzling Mysterious Pharaoh Z!"

". . So, friend of yours?" Lily asked out of the corner of her mouth.

"Nope, never heard of her," XX shook her head.

Z just pouted at them.

Then a sudden roar shook the world around them, and everyone wheeled to see a massive, monstrous silhouette dominating the sky in the distance as it demolished the forest they had been using for lumber earlier in the day.

". . So remember how I thought I was gonna die?" Z quietly asked.

"Uh-huh?"

She whimpered. "I was right!"

OMAKE:

"Princess O'Key . . Princess-O-Key," Kiyohime turned the name over in her head. "The legendary stalker who cannot be kept from the object of her affections by any lock, Princess-oh-key . ."

Suddenly, it fell into place.

Princess-oh-key.

Key-oh-Princess.

'Hime' translated to 'princess'.

"Hey! Is that supposed to be some kind of joke? Why I ought to . ." Kiyohime trailed off, thinking it through a bit more. "Wait, why am I offended? She sounds absolutely inspirational!"

Chapter Text

"So are you the one responsible for this Singularity?" Tyler asked, folding his arms.

"Welllllll, kinda yes and kinda no?" Mysterious Pharaoh Z meekly replied, still shivering in fear from the roar they'd overheard.

"And what does that mean?" Joan asked, unimpressed.

"Oh, we're doing a recap? Sure. Well, it all started when I got recruited as part of this group back home in my universe. There was this super evil space goddess wrecking the place, and I was part of an elite team put together to kill her,"

"Wait, are you talking about Ashtart? I heard about that!" XX suddenly exclaimed. "Oi, that's for Saber Wars II, we're not supposed to talk about that yet!"

"Why not? They asked, and it's not like it's a secret or anything . . wait, is it? I guess I wouldn't know . ." Z admitted, looking hesitant.

". . There's going to be a round two of this nonsense?" Tyler grimaced.

"See what you did?!"

"Don't pin this on me, you're the one who name-dropped a spoiler!" Z retorted.

"Getting back to the point of how you ended up here and what's going on with the Singularity?" the Master pressed.

"Right, right. So fighting Ashtart didn't go so great. I kinda died, except not really,"

"You . . kind of didn't really die," Joan sceptically parroted.

"Look if you're gonna react to every little thing I say we'll be here until the Singularity collapses. So! I was lucky, because I happened to have a Holy Grail in my back pocket, and at the absolute last minute I wished for me and my pet to be totally untouchable until I was saved. Buuuuut that sorta backfired because whatever Ashtart hit me with had some kind of weird reaction with the Grail, and, basically she slapped me straight out of the universe. When I woke up, I found myself in this Singularity that was pretty much on the verge of breaking apart around me and taking me with it. And that would have been really bad so I used my Grail to stitch the whole place back together . ." she trailed off, her lip wobbling. "And . . then . . I realised me and my pet were trapped. Alone. The only intelligent life in this whole Singularity,"

Everyone stared at her in a mix of disbelief, horror and concern. ". . How long have you been here?" Tyler asked.

"Assuming I didn't screw up my count at some point? About three years," Z flatly told them.

"That's awful," Lily murmured.

"And then you lot showed up and I thought I was just hallucinating or dreaming again, and when I tried to talk to you, you ran away - after stealing my food, no less - so I kinda just figured I'd finally totally lost it. And then you stole my Grail and ran off, so now this Singularity's about to collapse again and this time I can't stop that. And now I'm about to die and hallucinating that you all came back to talk to me so what's the point in trying to be sane anymore?!"

"Wait, you think you're imagining us?" Joan growled.

"Four people appeared in front of me in a flash of light right as I resign myself to my fate. Three of them are the people who stole from me, the only human contact I've had in the last three years, and the fourth is famous actress Jeanndo Arcrissian. It seems pretty obvious to me that I've finally totally lost it,"

(Joan cast a confused look at XX and mouthed "Famous actress?", to which the Foreigner only shrugged.)

Tyler stepped forward with a sympathetic grimace. Z flinched and put a hand on her rifle, but instead he just took her wrist and squeezed it. "I swear to you, we're here. We're real people, and we're going to save you,"

Z looked at him, her breath catching. She looked down at his hand, then squeezed his wrist with her own. For a second, she felt his heartbeat under her thumb.

Then a golden aura enveloped her body, before shattering into Spiritrons. Z blinked in disbelief, staring at the dissipating particles of magic. "My wish . . to be indestructible until I was saved. It just ended . . so . . so this is real," Her eyes glistened with moisture, and suddenly Tyler found the alien hugging him and sobbing into his shoulder. "This is real, there's actually someone here . . I can't believe it, I waited so long . . and it doesn't even matter because Ammit's still gonna kill all of us because you idiots removed the Grail that was keeping her asleep . ."

"Hold on! Who's gonna what?!" Joan exclaimed.

A shadow fell over them, and everyone turned around and looked up.

Towering over them was a creature unlike anything they'd ever seen. A massive, gnarled snout encrusted with black scales frames beady yellow eyes that stared down at them. Front legs as thick as tree trunks supported its frame, ending in bulging paws and covered in dull golden fur, while its rear was rotund with stubby, hippopotamus-like legs and leathery black skin. A powerful, wiry tail lashed behind the monster, and its crocodilian jaws split open to shake the air with a roar of "GRAAAAAAAAGH!"

"What in the hell is that thing?!" Joan shrieked.

"That's Ammit. My pet. I was using the Grail to keep her asleep as well as hold this Singularity together. Now that it's gone, we're all in deep space shit," Z summarised. "On the bright side, you broke my wish, so she's not invulnerable anymore,"

"That thing is a pet?!"

"She was smaller and cuter when I got her!" the Assassin answered Tyler's skepticism.

Deciding she was impatient, the monster lunged forward with unexpected speed, jaws snapping open and seeming to lengthen as shadowy masses engorged its maw to an even greater size.

"Move!" Joan yelled, snatching Tyler's wrist and dragging him out of the attack. Z squealed and chased after them, rockets emerging from her boots and lifting her into the air in a somewhat wonky flight pattern that nonetheless got her clear of the attack.

"Bad girl, Ammit! Naughty! You're not supposed to eat people!" Z shrieked.

The supposed pet demonstrated what she thought of her master's discipline by twisting her head and breathing a cloud of black smoke towards the flying pharaoh, which washed over her and induced a choked coughing fit.

Lily slashed at Ammit's foreleg, but it barely made a dent in her fur. "Are you completely certain that it lacks invulnerability?"

"You just ain't hitting hard enough!" With that, XX swooped in and bashed her lance against the top of Ammit's head, and when she reared up to strike the metal fly, a burst of suppressive-fire lasers from her helmet rained down around and into her eye. "What do ya think of that?!"

Ammit howled in pain and fury, rearing back and glaring at XX, identifying her as the main threat as her jaws slid open. Then she lunged with speed that should have been impossible for such a massive creature, upper and lower jaw crashing down around the Foreigner.

With a cocky laugh, XX caught the Phantasmal's upper lip with one hand. Then her elbow buckled and her laugh turned into a scream of surprise, leveraging both hands and only just barely maintaining enough leverage to keep from being crushed. "What the hell? Why is her jaw so strong?"

"Crocodiles have really powerful jaw muscles. Get out of there!" Dr. Roman radioed in, and XX grunted as her thrusters ignited, rocketing her out from between Ammit's teeth.

Frustrated at being denied her meal, Ammit charged after her, but XX fired off an X-shaped laser blast that washed over her snout and knocked her back, momentarily stunned.

"If she's your pet, why is she acting like this?!" Joan hollered.

"It's because of that stupid rusty spaceship! The one you found and salvaged!" Z clarified. "The metals it was made of oxidised and released Altrium into the atmosphere of the Singularity as it rusted!"

"The montage particles? Yeah, we know, but what does TV show logic have to do with this?" Tyler questioned.

"Ammit's allergic to Altrium!"

For a moment, everyone stopped dead, a mistake that Ammit punished by slapping Lily with her tail.

"This whole thing is because of an allergic reaction?!" Tyler demanded.

"It makes perfect sense now, huh?" XX sagely nodded.

"NO IT DOESN'T!"

"Space allergies are nothing to joke about," the Foreigner assured him.

In response to this, for a moment Tyler just stared, mouthing the words 'space allergies' repeatedly in the vain hope that they would suddenly begin to make sense with enough repetition. Unfortunately, he was summarily disappointed.

"Okay, I have had just about enough of this parallel universe bullshit!" Joan bellowed, charging at the titanic chimera. Ammit lunged at her, snapping her jaws, but the Avenger lunged sideways and kicked off with a flare of fire from her boot, bringing up her spiked flagpole and screaming inarticulately as she brought it down into the monster's eye.

Before she could finish the strike, though, a grappling hook lashed around her arm and yanked, and Joan's war cry turned into a panicked squeal as she was yanked away and landed on her back.

"I know she's not behaving but she's still my pet!" Z begged, releasing her grappling line, "Please don't hurt her in a way that won't heal!" As she spoke, the air around her head rippled while her eyes went wide and glistened with sparkles, and for a moment Z just stared into space, watching something only she could see.

". . I'm gonna regret asking, but what's she doing?" Tyler winced.

"Having a flashback, probably thinking about when Ammit was little and cute. Give her a minute," XX shrugged.

The levity of the flashback was disrupted when the snarling monster twisted sideways and stamped on the prone Avenger, squashing her into the ground. Tyler's breath caught as he saw her paw come back up, leaving Joan in a dent in the ground, sprawling and groaning. He glanced at Lily, who was still regaining her footing, and made a decision. "Retreat! We need a new strategy!"

"Follow me! We can lose her between the buildings!" Z shouted at them, turning and running into the empty town that she'd been living in since being stranded in this Singularity. Already picking herself up, Joan followed, and Lily fell in with Tyler and XX as they chased after her.

"Y'now, having an upgraded Noble Phantasm would be really useful right now, wouldn't it?" XX off-handedly commented as Ammit chased after them, moving faster than Tyler would have expected from a creature with the rear end of a hippopotamus.

"Then why don't you use yours?!" Lily, face flushed with exertion, demanded.

"I can't!" XX whipped out her strange double-ended spear and used it to gesture at her. "Twinmyniad is a planet buster. If I fire it off this entire Singularity goes kaput with us inside it! Well, I mean, I'd be fine, but the rest of you and this whole patch of history wouldn't!"

Tyler's first impulse was along the lines of 'why does a weapon that can destroy planets exist?', but the implication that there were situations in which a planet would need to be destroyed was too much for him to process at present, so instead he asked, "Why are you casually carrying around a planet buster?!"

"In case I need to blow up a planet, duuuuh," XX brightly clarified, oblivious to how extraordinarily unhelpful this was.

A house behind them exploded as Ammit forced her way through a street that was too large for her rear, and the Master was relieved to see Joan standing at the doorway of the church. "Inside! Quick!"

"Why the church?" he asked as he followed the two variants of Artoria Pendragon through the doors, which Joan slammed shut and barred with her flagpole behind them. "Is there some kind of conceptual protection as a holy site that Ammit can't penetrate?"

Behind him, the sound of a giant monster pursuing them vanished, which lent credence to his theory - only for Z to shake her head. "What? No, that doesn't make any sense at all. We're in here because this was the only building around large enough for me to put Ammit in while she was asleep," she explained, gesturing at a large indent in the floor of the church and how the wooden pews had been crushed and rearranged into a sort of giant birds' nest. "She remembers and doesn't want to be put in an eternal slumber again so she's gonna stay away from here just in case. I'm just glad she doesn't know we don't have the Grail I was using to keep her asleep anymore,"

". . . remind me again how all this happened because of an allergic reaction?"

"Because it's a space allergy," XX and Z said in almost perfect unison.

"I don't know why I asked,"

"Master," Joan's voice softened from the angry snarl she'd maintained for most of the day, "I know this whole thing is stretching suspension of disbelief way too far, but stick it out a little longer, okay?"

Tyler blinked at her. "Joan, how do you know what suspension of disbelief is?"

The Avenger blinked, then her face twisted back into an angry snarl. "Now this stupid place has got me doing it?! Okay, that tears it!" She stormed towards the two extra-universal Servants and demanded, "Firstly, let me make one thing clear. I don't care how cute that thing was when you adopted it -"

"I won Ammit off Anubis in a game of Space Tetris," Z corrected her.

"I don't care! If that thing so much as looks at my Master again I am going to turn its hide into a new saddle for Astolfo's stupid bird horse thing! Secondly, how do we deal with that thing? Because if you don't have a plan I am going right back out there and we're gonna find out how much fire it takes to kill a hippo . . croc . . whatever-monster!"

"You can't kill Ammit! I won't let you! She's a precious bundle of love!" Z snapped.

Lily interjected herself between them. "Miss, um,"

"-terious Pharaoh Z,"

"Miss Terious Pharaoh Zee, I appreciate that you have a sentimental connection to her, but there comes a time where you have to accept that that thing's not your pet anymore,"

"I don't like what you just did to my name," Z pouted, folding her arms. "And no there doesn't! I love her and I know somewhere deep down she still loves me too! So I won't kill her!"

"Okay, this is cute and all but there's no need to worry, I have a solution," XX assured the group.

"This is going to be something incredibly stupid and contrived, I just know it," Tyler flatly declared.

"In case of emergency, I always carry with me a Space EpiPen!" the Foreigner triumphantly declared, pulling what did indeed look like a retro-futuristic syringe from her pocket.

"Called it,"

"Why do you have that?" Joan evidently hadn't learned to stop questioning these things yet.

"Look, if you had your own personal pocket dimension, you'd be a pack rat too,"

"Pack what?"

"It's a term for video game players who squirrel away as many items in their inventories as they can just in case they eventually need something weird and specific. It's really not good to know that your universe runs on video game logic just as much as TV show logic," their Master sighed. "Okay, sure, we have a Space EpiPen that I suppose will magically cure Ammit. Do we just stab her with it?"

"It's not gonna be that simple," Z regretfully informed them. "Ammit's skin is too tough for us to just inject her with it anywhere. It'll only work if we use it on the inside of her mouth,"

"The mouth. That she's using. To try to eat us," the Avenger flatly checked.

"Yeah, that one. She only has the one after all," the Egyptian-looking woman confirmed. "So, obviously we need to incapacitate her first,"

"So we're right back to 'let's see how much fire it takes to kill a hippo-whatever'?"

"I'd be very surprised if that works. Her defensive parameters are absurd, Caliburn barely scratched her. I could try a proper True Name Release, with the sword beam, but I don't know if that would work any better," Lily shook her head at Joan. "And La Grondement Du Haine isn't more powerful than Caliburn, I don't think,"

"You don't know how strong I am," Joan huffed. "But I guess that's a point . ."

"What about you, Z?" the space cop addressed the Goddess Assassin. "What's your Noble Phantasm?"

Mysterious Pharaoh Z grimaced and didn't meet anyone's eyes. "I'd really rather not use it on my cuddly wuddly little -"

"Nitocris, seriously. We need a solution here," XX snapped.

"Wha - how did you know my name?!"

"Nitocris?" Tyler parroted.

"I met the version of you from this universe in a timeline about three magnitudes of relevance to the zorth of here, and you look just like her," XX-plained. "Now c'mon, make with the magic,"

Z sighed. "Basically I used to be able to summon a rocket obelisk and use it as personal transportation. But I tried to make it go faster a while ago and now it kinda just explodes as soon as it touches something,"

"That sounds like exactly the sort of thing we need," the Maiden of Chaldea (not Orleans) pointed out.

"But when I try to ride it, I blow up too!"

"Well, do you have to ride it? Can't you just turn it on, jump out and let it go flying off?" Tyler wondered.

Z's eyes went wide and she blinked at him in amazement.

". . You seriously never thought of that?"

"Well, I still don't want to blow up Ammit," the space pharaoh folded her arms, looking away from the group, only for XX to place a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't think of it as exploding your pet. Think of it as tough love. It's the only way to save her," XX assured her with an encouraging smile, which promptly dropped. "Because if this doesn't work I'm going to categorise her as a Threat to Humanity and see if she can withstand a blast of Etherspace Yet Lawful. And no matter how much your Noble Phantasm might hurt her, I promise you mine will do worse,"

Z nervously gulped. "Okay, have it your way. If you all distract Ammit for a bit, I'll use my Noble Phantasm on her, then we'll have an opening for the Space EpiPen,"

"Sounds good," Tyler nodded. "Everyone ready? Anything else to add?"

"Not here," Lily confirmed.

"Let's do this shit," Joan agreed.

"Do we have time for an ad break? This feels like the perfect time for an ad break," XX mused.

"Nope, we're doing this now. Let's go!" Tyler insisted, making for the doors to the church.

Joan caught his wrist. "No, Masters lead from the back,"

"I know," the boy mumbled as the Servants overtook him. "I just really want this whole thing to be over with already,"

The doors flew open and XX took to the air, Lily sprinting along the ground beneath her and Z trailing behind. Joan hung back, ready to protect their Master.

Ammit, who had apparently passed the time waiting for them by demolishing nearby houses, twisted her head towards them and snarled, ripping her way out of a townhouse and charging towards them.

Caliburn flashed with distracting light as Lily charged to the left. "Look over here! I am distracting you!" she hollered with her free hand cupping her mouth.

Ammit, to her chagrin, ignored her and instead focused on the only one who'd actually been able to hurt her; XX. The Foreigner yelped as a massive pair of jaws snapped towards her, distending like jaw-shaped balloons made of shadow as the chimera reached high by rearing back onto her hind legs.

"That's perfect! Hold her there!" Z declared as Ammit wobbled.

"How?" XX yelled back.

"Pretty sure she meant that literally!" Joan weighed in, stepping forward and levelling her flagpole at Ammit's throat. A pillar of fire shot out from it and struck the creature's throat, quickly turning solid and splitting to spread around her neck like a massive spanner. Ammit screamed, held up and in place by Joan's flame construct. "How's this?"

"It'll do!" Mysterious Pharaoh Z stepped forward and struck a pose. "This mysterious obelisk is the bridge between heaven and earth! Become the mysterious pillar that lets me ascend beyond the skies!" she chanted, spreading her arms as a large geometric shape took form under her feet and lifted into the air, seemingly made of dark blue stone. The pyramid shape at its tip was made of glass that revealed a cockpit inside, four triangular fins emerged from each side of the base, and several rocket thrusters protruded from the back; it really did look like a cross between an obelisk and a cartoonish spaceship. "Or, if that won't work, then instead make a really big explosion! This Thing's Totally Gonna Explode: Sapphire Obelisk!" Mysterious Pharaoh Z shrieked and threw herself off the top of the ship, landing in a roll as its rocket thrusters roared to life, propelling the vehicle forwards.

Tyler watched it go, blasting seemingly in slow motion towards Ammit's exposed underbelly. A question occurred to him that he really should have asked earlier. ". . How big is the blast radius on that thing?"

Wordlessly, Joan stepped in front of him and pulled back the arm of fire into a half-dome-shaped shield.

It didn't help.

The rocket crunched against Ammit's throat with a sickening sound of breaking metal and glass, and then erupted into an omnidirectional sphere of crystalline blue sand. A concussive shockwave threw the chimera backwards as scorching waves of blue crystal flakes spread in every direction. Joan unfurled her flag and draped it over herself and her Master as Tyler covered his face with his arms, feeling tiny shards of divine glass wash over them and lodge in every exposed patch of skin and fabric, leaving him glad for how much of his body the Chaldea Uniform's thick sleeves and trousers covered.

Ammit howled in pain and collapsed, crashing against another building and falling still, the explosive sapphire shrapnel staining much of her body blue.

When the dust settled, Tyler peered out from the meagre defence to find much of his outfit encrusted in blue crystal sand, and Mysterious Pharaoh Z lying sprawled on her back, caked in the same blue sand that had resulted from the disintegration of her spaceship. "I hate my NP," she moaned as Lily peered out sympathetically from behind an abandoned market stall.

XX swooped down from the sky, landing on top of Ammit's snout. "You about done with your tantrum, you big baby?" A petulant whimper was her only response, and she forced the creature's jaws open. "Sorry, I don't speak Phantasmal. Chew on this instead," and with that she stabbed the Space EpiPen into the roof of the crocodilian mouth, then hastily withdrew.

Ammit moaned, and, to the amazement of the Chaldeans began to shrink before their eyes, massive body collapsing in on itself until the slumbering creature was merely the size of a large dog, with a short and flattened snout and black fur covering most of its body.

As they cautiously regrouped, Tyler just stared at the creature who had casually violated thermodynamics and conservation of mass by recovering from an allergic reaction. ". . Not even going to say anything,"

"Mitty! You're back to normal! I've missed you so much!" Nitocris cooed, rushing in and wrapping her arms around the prone form of her pet.

Her armour was promptly caught by XX, who lifted her with one hand and wrapped her other arm around the Phantasmal chimera. "Nope. We're still in an atmosphere full of Altrium, it's only a matter of time until she gets big and angry again. I'm taking you to the local Chaldea. You all can Rayshift back whenever you're ready, we'll meet you there," Before anyone could say anything in response, all three vanished.

". . Da Vinci, how's things looking?"

"The tachyon fluctuations are stabilising. You were right, Ammit was the cause of the disturbance," the Caster reported. "Well done!"

"Good to hear," Tyler breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay, I am so ready to be done with all this. Bring us back whenever you're ready,"

X

So Tyler climbed out of the Rayshift coffin, and couldn't helo but smile at being back in a place where nothing wanted to eat him as far as he knew.

"Well, good work everyone. Mission successful," he declared as Lily and Joan emerged from their own Coffins. Then XX appeared in a flash of light overhead and unceremoniously dropped her two passengers. Z let out an indignant squeal as she hit the ground, while Ammit continued to blissfully slumber.

As Lily, ever the courteous king-in-waiting, helped the Assassin to her feet, and XX landed and folded away her wings and thrusters in impossible angles, the mentally-fatigued Master was relieved to see Da Vinci approaching them. "Da Vinci?"

"Yeeeees?" the Caster looked up with a cheerful smile as Tyler waylaid her on her way to inspect the newcomers.

"Remember earlier, when you said that doing things like . ." For want of a better target, Tyler gestured at the blue orb of CHALDEAS, "that, was Chaldea's original mission?"

"I do,"

"Please tell me that everything I have dealt with today was a freak accident and not part of what Chaldea is supposed to deal with. I don't know how much more of this I can take,"

"Everything you dealt with today was a freak accident and not part of what Chaldea is supposed to deal with," Da Vinci dutifully repeated. "That said, even if the world did still exist, we're better equipped to handle things like this than anyone else, so the UN would probably hire us to handle it anyway,"

Tyler digested this and sighed. ". . Nikki can deal with the next one,"

It was at that point that the doors exploded open and a certain greenette Berserker appeared, taking in the scene - as well as the nubile, golden-armoured treasure huntress that had appeared in the main room with them, and immediately drew a conclusion with a mix of frustration and elation as she tackle-hugged him. "Master! You recruited another harem girl!"

"Kiyo, seriously!" Tyler protested, catching her with a slight stumble and holding her at arm's length so that he could look into her eyes. "I know XX filled your head with harem protagonist nonsense, but you can't just assume every time a new Servant shows up it's because the universe is trying to enable some sort of . . unrealistic anime depravity! If nothing else, it's really rude to her!"

Z watched this with an expression of dawning realisation. "Ohhhhh. He has Harem Protagonist Disorder, doesn't he?"

"I still don't recognise that as a real thing!" Tyler hollered over his shoulder, oblivious to the jealous look on Joan's face as he resumed trying to talk Kiyohime down.

"Yup. Fortunately, he doesn't have the type where he's as bland as vanilla for the sake of letting the audience project themselves onto him," XX assured her.

"Well that's a relief," Z mumbled. "I had a treasure hunting rival like that three seasons ago. He was an absolute blank slate, HPD was the only thing he had going for him, didn't have a defining characteristic in his body. I think we were doing a space pirate dating sim thing, but he devoted all his attention to his apprentice and this one slave girl so I never got anywhere," She hummed thoughtfully. "Maybe I'll have better luck here,"

"Oh?" XX cast her a look and a knowing smile. "I was gonna ask; do you want me to give you a lift back home?"

"You kidding? It'll have been at least two seasons and who knows how many episodes since I died over there. My buddies in the Star Sherdens are probably doing a totally different genre by now, and if I come back armed with only a stupid excuse like 'I got stranded in a parallel universe', it'll look like cheap writing, and we can't have that. Besides, I can recognise a 'rescued girl falls in love with her saviour' plot when I see it," Z assured the Foreigner.

"And you're still going along with it? No judgy, just checking,"

"Well, sure. I don't really have anything waiting for me back home, and this place seems pretty cosy. And he's a Harem Protagonist, so it's not like he's gonna turn me down," she leant in and conspiratorially whispered, "I just have to wait until he grows into it a bit more,"

Lily, leaning on her own Coffin, stared at them for a moment. "It's going to take me a long time to get used to your universe's logic,"

"Fair enough!" XX laughed. "Well, hey, good luck! Not just with your love life. Adapting to a text-based universe can be trippy. Watch out for typos, they're annoying little buggers. And Autocorrect,"

"What's Autocorrect?" Z cocked her head.

"Oh you sweet summer child, you have no idea what you're in for. But I'm sure you'll be fine! And hey, if I remember the timeline right I'm due to show up again about three years from now, just make sure you have a swimsuit ready by Luluhawa and I'll see you then, okay?"

"Uh, right. Sure. Sounds like a plan. I think," she nodded in response.

"Great!" XX's armour closed up around her and she lifted into the air. "It's been fun everyone, but I'm gonna nope out before I screw up your timeline any more! Bye-bye!"

"Huh - wait, you could at least-" Tyler started, but was cut off by the Foreigner vanishing in a flash of light. ". . stay for dinner,"

"Oi, shouldn't you and your weird mutt have gone with her?" Joan asked, folding her arms.

"Nope! I've decided I'm staying right here. I'm going to be a Servant of Chaldea!" Z smugly informed her.

". . . of course,"

"Don't mind her, she deliberately acts like a jerk to keep people from mistaking her for the actual Jeanne d'Arc,"

Z started. "Wait, so you're not famous Shamb'hollywood actress Jeanndo Arcrissian? . . I have been way too nice to you! You prick!"

Joan quirked an eyebrow and hid a smile. "Okay, fine, I guess we can keep her,"

"Glad you're on board, but what made you want to stay with us?" Tyler curiously asked as he approached them, raising his Command Spells.

"You did! My universe suffers from a chronic lack of eligible Masters -"

"Nevermind I was wrong get rid of her," Joan stated with a sympathetic nod from Kiyohime; both were ignored.

"- and it's been long enough that I'm sure the Star Sherdens have sold off or claimed inheritance of all my stuff anyway, so I really might as well,"

"Star Sherdens?"

"My buddies! They're Space Pirates!" Z brightly informed him, and for no apparent reason a cry of "Yo ho!" echoed around the room.

". . part of me really wants to ask but the rest of me won't understand the answer," Tyler mumbled. "Whatever, let's do this," he smiled, respectfully bowing his head and raising his hand, palm down. "Let silver and steel be the essence, let stone and the archduke of contracts be the foundation. Seventh heaven inlaid in the great words of power. Will you be my keeper of the balance?"

Z pressed a finger to his Command Seals and nodded. "It would be my honour,"

Her new Master looked up and smiled. "Welcome to the team, Zeetocris,"

"Zeetocris?!" Z parroted, blinking owlishly. She considered for a second, and Tyler was about to apologise for overstepping when she blushed minutely and admitted, "I guess I don't hate it,"

In Tyler's blind spot, Da Vinci made a playful little heart shape with her fingers.

"Alright, so, what's the deal around here? What sort of plot are we looking at? Mad science? Time travel stuff? I really hope this isn't an educational show, I mean I could teach but I don't wanna have to keep things G-rated all the time,"

"Well, we're dealing with a bit of an apocalypse. See, someone tampered with the past and set the entire world on fire and us here are all that's left of humanity in the world," Da Vinci summarised, and Z's smile dropped.

"We're trying to restore human civilisation by Rayshifting to temporal distortions in the past and correcting the sequence of events so that it matches Proper Human History," her new Master concurred.

Z's face took on an unhealthy pallor as she processed this. "This is a . . post-apocalyptic . ." Then she turned back to the spot where XX had vanished and shrieked, "XX! XX, come back! I changed my mind! Staying here was a terrible idea!"

OMAKE:

Ritsuka Fujimaru doesn't exist in this timeline.

The words raced around Taisui's head on loop and he rubbed his temples, groaning.

Ritsuka Fujimaru doesn't exist in this timeline. Ritsuka Fujimaru doesn't exist in this timeline. RITSUKA FUJIMARU DOESN'T EXIST IN THIS TIMELINE.

"Kid me can't handle this," Taisui muttered and popped into his adult form, who heaved out a sigh. "So, if these three screw up, there's no Last Master of Humanity waiting in the wings,"

He hummed, thinking furiously as the red hoop around his head accelerated its rotation, then a wan smile tugged at his lips. "If there's no backup, then they can't afford to fail. Guess I need to take matters into my own hands,"

Chapter Text

Class: Assassin
True Name: (Space) Nitocris
Sex: Female
Source: Servant Universe
Region: Planet Nile
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Height: 162cm
Weight: 51kg

Character Info:

I am Mysterious Pharaoh Z, and this is my sidekick, Ammit! You may also refer to me as Star-Pharaoh, Guardian of the Sapphire Galaxy, The Sundalorian, The Sarcophageskar-Armoured Treasure Hunter . . take your pick.

How did I get 'Z' from 'Nitocris'? Well, I took the N and turned it sideways. Oh, and before you ask I won Ammit off Anubis in a game of Space Tetris. She's a hungry girl but I love her.

Anyway, I used to be a princess, some stuff happened and my family went broke, so I turned to treasure hunting to rebuild our fortune. Honestly it was going badly even before I died. But I kept a Holy Grail in my back pocket as a good luck charm, and at the last possible minute wished to be saved.

. . . So what the hell took you so long?!

Parameters:

Strength: C

Constitution: D

Agility: B

Magical Power: A

Luck: B

Noble Phantasm: B

Class Skills:

Presence Concealment B

This is the thing that Assassins have. I am an Assassin, therefore I have it. Yes, I'm certain that I'm sneaky enough to have this skill. Or at least good enough at causing distractions.

Personal Skills:

Treasure Hunter B+

Like, duh? I'm a treasure hunter. And adventurer. And sometimes I kill stuff for profit! I guess if it was you asking, I wouldn't mind killing someone just because.

Mysterious Pharaoh Z+
I'm a Pharaoh, and I am Mysterious. Therefore I have this skill. It lets me beat people around the head with how mysterious I am. Z+ is too a proper rank for a skill.

Explosive Marksmanship A
I've always believed that if you fire enough lasers, one of them will hit the target eventually. Also that it doesn't matter how much collateral damage you cause as long as the target gets hit. On an unrelated note, where can I find your stockpile of explosives?

Divinity C+
I mean, I guess this is technically a thing. Technically, just barely. I was never actually a god myself but I'm the reincarnation of someone who had this so it sorta just degraded rather than actually vanishing. Though seeing how you don't have any other gods, I guess I wouldn't mind if you worshipped me. ;3

Self-Written Profile D
Because I'm from the Servant Universe this world's Throne of Heroes couldn't give Chaldea my profile, so I had to write one up myself! Come to think of it, that means I could have put literally anything in here and you'd have no idea how accurate it is. Anyway, how'd I do? . . What do you mean, you're giving me a D? But that's a failing grade!

Noble Phantasms