Nikki and Jack drew to a halt as they emerged from the treeline, and realised they were no longer being pursued. "Uh. I hope we didn't just leave Tyler in the lurch," she realised a bit belatedly.

"We're sure he's fine," Jack assured her. "Where are we?"

Nikki looked around and realised that, while they had come to another hill, it was not their campsite, the place she had been trying to get to. ". . I got lost again, didn't I?" she whimpered. "Ugh, okay, make a plan . . first, we need to figure out where we are. Who lives on this hill?" She strode upwards, ignoring the spiral path and making her way directly up the slope, scanning the campsite for any signs of habitation - and immediately recognising a familiar face.

"Oh, hey, there you are. Wondered when you'd get here," the Rider of Mayday greeted them.

Nikki started. "Mercedes?!" She paused, remembering Era's report from America. "Wait, no. You said your real name was Mayday, right?"

"No, I said that I can't tell you my real name yet, and for now you can call me the Rider of Mayday," Mayday corrected her with no heat in her tone. "All the same, good to see you,"

"Yeah, you too. I think," Nikki squinted suspiciously at her. "Any chance you're here to join Chaldea officially?"

"Sorry, nope, we're not at that point yet," Mayday apologetically shrugged and pointed at the other end of the clearing. "I'm here to save you from having to deal with her on your own,"

Nikki and Jack followed her gaze, and found the Shadow Saber striding into the clearing. The Shadow cast a baleful look at Mayday for interrupting her dramatic entrance, but nonetheless struck a dramatic pose; gripping a katana in both hands and gesturing at them with her chin, causing her kimono to ripple in the wind and tied-back, unruly hair to bounce behind her head.

Nikki raised her communicator. "Hey, Da Vinci, what have we got on this Shadow Saber?"

"Absolutely nothing," she reported. "I can barely even confirm that it's a Saber? Every scan I try to do returns a value of zero, or just no data at all. Hell, even the ones that have readouts in words are giving me 'zero', and that shouldn't even be a valid response! All we've got is visual data, everything else is insisting that you're about to fight something that doesn't exist!"

"Yup. That's my cue," Mayday stood up and flexed her wrists, knuckles cracking with a faint crunch.

"Do you know who this Saber is?" Nikki asked.

"Nope, haven't the foggiest. But next time we meet, you're going to tell me that I won this fight, and that's all that matters," She reached up, adjusted her aviator's jacket, and pulled her goggles down over her face. "Get out of here, go secure that Grail. I'll take care of this one,"

Nikki glanced at her, as she squared off against the Shadow Saber. Mayday's opponent seemed enthused, pointing a katana at her and beckoning with an obvious 'come forth' gesture. She looked back at Jack, and the Holy Grail she was holding.

". . Nah, not happening. Jackie, knives out," she decided, taking the Grail and tucking it under her arm. "You say you're an ally of Chaldea? Alright then. I don't care what future me told you, or if you can win this on your own. If you really know me in the future, you should know that the sort of person who would leave a friend behind . . is not the sort of person I want to be!"

Mayday glanced at her, and a smirk split her lips. "Yeah, I knew you were gonna say that. But I still had to make sure you did,"

Nikki blinked. ". . Did you just manipulate me?"

"Haha, nope, you manipulated yourself into helping you become the you that you need to be. It's time travel, don't think too much about it," Mayday brushed her off. "And yeah, since I know you're gonna ask, that was my real mission. This is just cleanup," she grinned. Targeting reticules appeared on her goggles, and she squeezed an invisible trigger.

The Shadow Saber, sensing that she was about to attack, lunged forwards for a pre-emptive strike.

This did absolutely nothing to save her from the kamikaze fighter plane that fell from the clouds above and crushed her beneath its weight, before its fuel tank exploded and engulfed the resulting wreck in a ball of fire.

Nikki and Jack stared. "Did you just kill it?"

"I wish," Mayday tched.

The Shadow Saber exploded out of the wreckage with a furious shriek, katanas out and weaving a deadly mesh of sharp edges that came cascading down on Mayday. In response, the Rider produced a mace that seemed to be made by attaching an aeroplane's engine and propeller to a stick, which revved to life in her hands, and the katanas bounced off the spinning melee propeller.

Jack didn't need to be told to assist, sliding in as the Saber flipped backwards and striking as her target landed. Strips of black cloth were cut from her kimono as she weathered the blows long enough to bring her swords back down and inflict a retaliatory slash, causing Jack to cry out in pain and roll away.

Then Mayday was on her again, dragged along by her levelled propeller-mace into a headlong charge of whirling death. The propellers bounced off the katanas that were hastily brought up to deflect the strike, only for Mayday to jump sideways and pivot. The propellers flicked straight through the Saber's defence, catching on one of the blades that she didn't quite retract in time, and chewing straight through it, the blade being twisted and deformed from the whirling strikes of the metal blades.

The Shadow Saber yanked her weapon free a second too late, and for an instant regarded the mangled mess that it had been reduced to. She snarled, discarding the destroyed weapon and drawing a third katana from her hip instead, then renewed the offensive, leaping into a tree and kicking off, flipping through the air to get around Mayday's defensive stance.

Jack tackled her in mid-air, knives digging into her side, and they both went rolling down the hill, each separating for their own self-preservation. The agile Assassin easily recovered, scuffed and scraped but not seriously hurt, but the Shadow Saber kept going until she hit the bottom of the hill in a heap.

Nikki and Mayday rushed to the edge and watched her tumble. "She's vulnerable! Noble Phantasm?" the Master rapidly suggested.

Mayday shrugged apologetically and reminded her, "Anti-Army,"

"Ooh! Pick us! We can do it!" Jack shouted.

"Alright, Jackie!" Nikki raised her hands. "By my Command Spell, I order you to use your Noble Phantasm and put an end to that Saber!"

Jack grinned as the base of the hill was engulfed by sulphuric smoke.

"Hell begins here," a whisper echoed through the world as the lamp-posts of London made the fog glow, and seem all the more oppressive for it. "We are the fire. The rain. The power. Maria the Ripper!"The Holy Mother of Dismemberment

A piercing scream split the air, and by the time the fog cleared, all that was left of the Shadow Saber was a cloud of black Spiritrons.

Jack rejoined them, breathing heavily, visibly injured. "You were right . ." she panted, nodding gratefully at Mayday. "If we'd fought that samurai on our own, we'd have lost,"

"You're hurt! First Aid!" Nikki gasped, and green light shot from her Mystic Code's sleeve to wrap around Jack and take the edge off her injuries.

"Hehe, don't worry, mummy, I'm fine," Jack reassured her with an affectionate smile. Nikki hugged her, careful not to touch any of the scrapes, and Jack reciprocated, happily pressing her face into her mother's shoulder.

"Yeah, you two are cute," Mayday chuckled. "Well, that's my job done. Time for you two to get back to your camp so that this Singularity can get resolved,"

"Small problem . ." Nikki groused. "I have no idea where to go, and wouldn't be able to go that way if I did,"

"Yeah, you mentioned this happened," Mayday sighed, and started fishing through her pockets, before eventually pulling out a crudely drawn map. Peering at it, Nikki was not entirely surprised to recognise her own handwriting. "Hoped I wouldn't need this, but I guess the bootstrap paradox is absolute. Here, take this and memorise it, you're gonna need to draw it for me before you send me back here,"

"Uh, right. Are you coming with us?" Nikki asked.

"Don't feel like dying violently today, and you won't need me again for a couple of months. So no thanks. I'll just stay right here and chillax until the Singularity vanishes," Mayday waved them off, settling down on a log in a patch of sun.

"Fair enough. Well, see you soon, I hope,"

"We'll look forward to meeting you properly! Bye-bye!" Jack waved as Nikki led her off.

X

Tyler's battle was going well, even if their forces were evenly matched.

Kagetora, despite having the clear martial advantage, was struggling to reach the flying Shadow Lancer. Changgong was wearing down the Shadow Rider, his calm and measured bladework a contrast to her manic slashes. Bunyan had it worst, the Shadow Assassin had forced her on the defensive, but with Tyler watching her back, contributing spells from his Mystic Code and an occasional opportunistic burst of dragon flame, she was holding her own.

All told, while they weren't winning as hard as he would have liked, Tyler was confident that the fight would eventually end in their victory. Provided that nothing interfered, he was certain that Changgong and Kagetora would wear their opponents down given a few more minutes, and then aid himself and Bunyan in finishing off the Shadow Assassin.

However, this plan was interrupted by an unexpected holler. "Don't worry, puny kid! I'll save you!"

The Chaldeans, caught off-guard, knew better than to look away from the fight, but Tyler was free to cast around. "Who said that?"

All at once, massive rocks fell from the sky and crushed the three Shadows beneath them.

Kagetora yelped and leapt away like a startled cat. "Meow! Where did those come from?"

"It was I! Right here!" the voice boomed again, this time giving them the chance to pinpoint its source.

"What the - who are you?" Tyler questioned as he and the three Servants took in their rescuer.

He was easily seven feet tall, with bulging muscles that seemed to belong to a bodybuilder. A mane of flaming red hair hung down his back, and he was dressed in a strange bastardisation of the familiar Chaldea Uniform, with its sleeves ripped off, undershirt missing and zipper hanging open to reveal twelvetoned abs. Tyler quickly swallowed his confusion at the minor anatomical impossibility, and refocused on his face, which had a wide smile and dark eyes that twinkled with the radiance of a million amateur authors' fantasies. "The name's Steel, kid!" he bellowed. "O. C. Donut Steel!" He struck a pose, fists raised into the air, and golden letters appeared around him, spelling out his name in block capitals.

Chapter 72: O.C. DONUT STEEL

More than that, though, there was something about him that, simply, seemed more exaggeratedthan everything around him. Tyler struggled for a second to put words to the sensation, and after a moment flashed on the My Hero Academia manga; in which All-Might was drawn in a different art style to the rest of the characters. The exaggerated man before him was visibly stylised in such a way that he looked like a comic book character brought into reality, and it made his head hurt to think about.

He digested all of this, and took half a second to recall the fanfiction trope; Original Character Do Not Steal. He stifled a groan and acted on his immediate response. ". . Yeah, okay, I've seen weirder," A moment later, he realised how poorly that statement boded for his sanity, and decided to reflect on that horrifying thought later.

"But you haven't seen sexier," Donut Steel bragged, flexing.

A woman popped out from behind him, a Dutch beauty clad in loose orange robes that left very little to the imagination. "That's right! Our Master's the best!" she boasted, joining him in striking a pose.

"He sure is!" added a Mediterranean woman with silky blue hair draped in purple robes, adopting a matching pose of adoration on the other side.

"Ooh! Servants! Who're you two?" Kagetora immediately demanded.

"I'm Mata Hari, and this is my Master, O.C. Donut Steel!" She breasted boobily towards them, spinning in place as she thrust her chest out towards her Master.

Tyler rubbed his eyes. "Am I crazy, or is it impossible to focus on any part of her except her, um, y'now,"

"You're not crazy, Master. Or, if you are, so are we all," Changgong assured him.

"And I am Medea, the beloved witch and Magecraft expert for my Master, O.C. Donut Steel," the second Servant introduced herself with a graceful bow . . addressed to her Master.

"Hang on. You're Medea?" Tyler blinked, then glanced back at Donut Steel. "And you don't want to kill this guy for reminding you of Jason?"

"Of course not! He's better than my lousy ex-husband in every way!" Medea swooned.

". . well, that's horrifying," Tyler muttered.

"Ahaha! This is outrageous, but whatever! Say, you've gotta be real tough! You wanna have a quick spar? Bit of fun?" Kagetora eagerly demanded, brandishing her spear.

"Nonsense, I could never fight a lady. It would be unmanly!" Donut Steel shook his head, and his Servants swooned all over again. "For beauties such as yourselves, I am a lover, not a fighter," he made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a purr, leaning forward and batting his eyelashes.

Kagetora looked disappointed, and Changgong was distressed to realise that the exaggerated man's eyes were equally focused on him. "Ahem, are you addressing me?"

"I sure am, honey,"

". . I am a man," Changgong emphasised, inwardly wondering why this Singularity had reduced him to some kind of cosmic joke.

If he was disappointed by this revelation, Donut Steel didn't show it. "O.C. Donut Steel does not discriminate," he declared with all the piety of an enlightened elder.

"That's our Donut!" "That's our Steel!" his cheerleaders praised him without a hint of shame.

"I've . . gotta ask. Are all of your Servants in love with you?" Tyler felt like he had to ask, for his own sake. Given that he knew at least a few of his Servants were surprisingly affectionate towards him, he couldn't quite shake the idea that he was looking at some funhouse-mirror version of himself.

"Not all of them! I also have my dog!" Donut Steel boomed, reaching behind his back and pulling out a slim man in a blue bodysuit, wielding a red spear and looking entirely unbothered by the fact that Donut Steel was holding him by the scruff of his neck like a puppy.

It took Tyler a second, but he recognised the face. ". . Cu Chulainn?"

Cu Chulainn opened his mouth, but Donut Steel spoke over him. "I can't let him wander off on his own, or he'll go and get himself killed again. Stay at the back where it's safe!" he commanded, and stuffed the Lancer back into his back pocket.

"Master, I don't think we have anything to gain by entertaining this man," Kagetora intervened, still looking a bit disappointed.

While he suspected that her idea of gaining something and his were wildly different, Tyler agreed on principle. "Yeah. It's been, um, nice meeting you . . Donut Steel . . but we're kind of on the clock. We need to figure out a way to break Bunyan's contract with Protagonist before it occurs to her that she can use a Command Spell to summon her back," he reminded the group, already turning back in the direction of their campsite.

"Actually, that's not going to be a problem," Bunyan meekly piped up. "Protagonist's Command Spells can only be used for three things; healing a Servant, forcing them to use their Noble Phantasm, or, if she uses three at once, reviving a large group of defeated Servants if she's about to lose a fight,"

Tyler frowned. "That last part sounds useful, but why is she restricted like that? I can use mine for pretty much anything," He paused, realising how that sounded. "I mean, not that I would, but . . you know what I meant,"

"Our world's Da Vinci tampered with them to restrict her because she kept using them on Mash in their room and making weird noises," Bunyan replied with only a slight shiver.

". . . I'm, just, going to pretend I never heard that," he mumbled. "Okay, if that's not an option for her, then, good. That just means . . we need Era. She has some kind of magecraft ability to damage and claim things, she can probably break your contract, or maybe even steal it. So we need to get back to our summoning circle so that Da Vinci can lock on to our location and Rayshift Era to us,"

"Did I hear you kids say you need a contract broken?" O.C. Donut Steel interrupted, muscling his way into the conversation.

"Not urgently, but eventually, yeah," Tyler nodded. His eyes brightened. "Wait, of course. Medea! You're good at Magecraft? You could break the contract, right?"

Medea paused, pressing her fingers to her chest and looking puzzled. "You want me to do something? Without Donut Steel involved? Hehehe, that's hilarious. I could never,"

The Chaldeans blinked at her for a moment. ". . Right, of course. In the worst sort of self-insert fanfiction, no one is capable of getting anything done except the protagonist," Tyler groaned to himself.

"You don't need her anyway, I can break this contract, no problemo! Let me at it!" Donut Steel boomed, crouching down and squinting at the cartoonish gremlin. "Hm, I see, I see,"

"What exactly are you going to do?" Tyler skeptically questioned.

"Don't worry about it, this is easy-peasy for me! I am O.C. Donut Steel, and no plot gets in the way of my awesomeness!" he bellowed, and flexed his muscles really, really, really hard.

"Go Donut! Go Steel! You can do it! You can do it!" his cheerleaders encouraged him, their vapid smiles never slipping.

There was a sound like glass shattering, and Bunyan gasped.

". . I'm almost afraid to ask, but did that actually work?" Tyler questioned.

"Um, yeah, I think it did," the Berserker murmured, testing her noodle-like arms. "I feel . . kind of empty, though . . I don't like it,"

"Well, that oughtn't be too hard to fix. We've got a new and better Master for you right here," Changgong serenely smiled at her.

"We sure do!" O.C. Donut Steel boomed, striking a pose. "Me!"

Everyone blinked at him for a moment, a silence broken by the dramatic, lovestruck sighs of his Servants.

Tyler raised a finger. "Actually, I think he was suggesting myself. Since, you know, I rescued her,"

"What? Psssssssh," Donut Steel drew out the disparaging hiss longer than necessary. "Why would anyone pick a loser like you when they could have ME?" He flexed, and on command, a beam of sunlight split the heavens and made his perfect teeth sparkle.

"You're the best! The strongest! The handsomest! The most desirable-est!" his Servants cheered.

Tyler inched towards his Servants. "Okay, this is a problem. If I know my crappy fanfiction tropes, he won't accept a rejection. According to the rules of his world, it's literally not possible for anyone to turn him down. If we say no to him, we'll be breaking his narrative. And I don't know how he'll respond to that,"

"I don't want to say yes to him," Bunyan whispered.

"Which is good because that at least means there's no mind control involved. Which also means that his Servants are just . . like that," Tyler winced, not envying the cheerleaders.

"Hey, what's the worst that could happen? If he tries to fight us, we'll just kick his ass!" Kagetora insisted.

"Hang on, I'm not sure about that -" Tyler started, but it was too late.

"Bad news!" Kagetora yelled, dramatically pointing one of her katanas at Donut Steel. "Bunyan's going to be coming with us! Right?"

"Y-yeah!" Bunyan stammered a bit, but nodded, grip tightening around her axe. "I'm grateful for your help, so, I'm sorry, but I've already decided that Tyler is going to be my Master!"

Donut Steel stared at them for a moment. "You . . what do you mean, you . . don't want . . me?"

"Ahahahaha, no," Kagetora bluntly shot him down.

"But . . everyone wants me, everyone loves me . ." he mumbled.

"Uh, Donut? You seem like a great guy, but . . the world does not revolve around you," Tyler attempted to placate him.

Unfortunately, all he did was draw the self-insert's ire. "Hmm. I see what's going on here. That pathetic little runt has brainwashed all of you! You've been stripped of the ability to properly perceive my awesomeness!" Donut Steel accused him with a thunderous look and accusatory finger outstretched.

Tyler was momentarily taken aback by the accusation. "You really think I - you would seriously throw out that sort of baseless accusation rather than consider the possibility that you're not the most important person in the world?"

"Ahaha, Master, he's pissing me off! I wanna kill him! Can I kill him? Please say yes!" Kagetora pleaded.

Tyler glanced at her, not quite succeeding at keeping a tight lid on his fury. ". . You know what, sure, let's give it a try. But don't overcommit. He might have tricks up his sleeve,"

"Excuse you! I am too manly for sleeves!" Donut Steel roared, flexing his naked arms.

". . Make him stop talking," Tyler requested, suddenly looking as though he'd bitten into a lemon.

Kagetora gleefully threw herself at him, twin katanas in hands as an aura of white lightning engulfed her.

Her martial prowess was completely ignored as Donut Steel's fist went forward, somehow snaking through her blades and electrical defences, and punched her in the face, sending her flying backwards with a shriek and landing in a heap to the other Chaldeans' left.

". . He is human, correct? How could a human be strong enough to inflict a blow like that on a Servant?" Changgong spluttered even as he moved to defend his Master.

"I'm guessing the power scaling in his universe is shot to hell, and in his favour, too," Tyler grumbled even as Donut Steel advanced on them.

His muscles rippled as he growled at the other Master. "Making me harm a woman, have you no shame?"

"Are you trolling?!" he couldn't help but snap in response.

"Hoo, you're in for it now. I'm gonna put the hurt on you," Donut Steel lowly promised. "No matter how many poor innocent Servants you hide behind,"

Tyler winced, black scales rippling across his fists in anticipation, but Changgong raised his sword. "I shall defend you, Master, rest assured,"

"Yeah, me too!" Bunyan agreed, hefting her axe.

Behind them, Kagetora picked herself up and hollered in agreement. "Your crude brute strength is nothing to the armour reinforced by the convictions in my heart!"

Donut Steel paused with a frown, regarding the Servants. ". . Kind of assumed my force of personality would get you out of the way . . hmm,"

"Don't worry, Master, I got this!" A sudden yell heralded Cu Chulainn emerging from O.C. Donut Steel's pocket and throwing himself at the opposition, spear in hand.

"No, dog, wait!" his Master protested.

"Allow me!" Changgong intercepted him before he could reach Tyler. His sword came up to deflect the blow, and immediately demonstrated the impracticality of flying leap attacks by deflecting Cu into the ground nearby. The Lancer collapsed into a heap where he landed, let out a moan, and started disintegrating into Spiritrons.

"Ahh! Lancer ga shinda!" Mata Hari gasped, hand covering her mouth.

"You killed my dog! Granted, he dies all the time, but still! You'll pay for that!" O.C. Donut Steel roared, seeming to spontaneously grow even larger and more muscular.

"What . . but . . but I barely touched him . ." Changgong protested.

"Don't bother. In that guy's genre, every girl exists to fall in love with him and every guy exists to be pathetic so that he looks cooler by comparison," Tyler let out a long-suffering sigh. "If we accept at face value the principle that he's an unbeatable self-insert power fantasy, and ignore how ridiculous that is . . there's no point in fighting him because his author won't let him lose,"

"If that's the case, what are your orders, Master?" Kagetora questioned.

"There's only one logical course of action," Tyler scooped up Bunyan, span on his heel and took off, screaming, "Run away!"

"Gah, why do we keep doing that today?" Kagetora complained even as she followed her Master.

X

Mash had never been so happy to see a hill as she was when they got back to the site of Chaldea's camp.

Her enthusiasm was marginally dampened when she realised that she and Asterios were the only ones there.

"Senpai's missing, and she's got the communicator so we can't call for help. What should we do? Do we go after them? I don't know where to look! And what if we run into those Shadows and their giant space laser again? Ohhhh, but what if senpai runs into the Shadows and we're not there to protect them from the giant space laser? Why do those people even have a giant space laser?!" Mash, understandably, was freaking out.

Asterios took her entire upper arm in her hand and rubbed her finger with his thumb. "Calm down!" he shouted over her. "We wait. They'll come back here," he insisted.

"You - you're sure that's the right approach?" Mash asked, balling her fists and glancing back across the sea of hills and trees, vainly hoping that some signal might tell them of their Master's location.

"Two people. On the move. Looking for each other, in a maze. They'll never find each other," Asterios sagely rumbled. "It's much easier . . to wait at the entrance," he added, gesturing at the summoning circle in the centre of the campsite.

". . That's smart," Mash murmured.

Asterios snorted in pleased amusement. "Besides. Look. There," he pointed at the base of the hill, where they could faintly pick up the sound of footsteps. "Might be them,"

Mash took off, running down the hill to meet whoever was approaching. Even if it wasn't Nikki, perhaps it was Tyler, or one of the other Servants?

She drew to a halt.

So did the small and cartoonish mirror of her that had just emerged from the treeline.

". . You're, um . . me?" both Mash-es said in perfect synchronisation.

Asterios, joining them, stifled a laugh.

"This isn't my senpai's campsite. I need to get back to her," Cartoon-Mash resolved, already turning to leave.

"Wha - wait!" Mash pleaded, jumping in front of her and blocking her way. "I, I need to talk to you! How did you do that, on the hill? That giant castle, Lord Camelot? I need to know how to make mine do that!"

"Eh? You don't know how?" Cartoon-Mash blinked at her, then suddenly slumped a it, smiling. "Phew!"

Mash's eyebrows went up and twisted, shock and offence playing across her face. Before she could decide how to respond to that, Asterios gripped her counterpart's head between his fingers and lifted her into the air, a feat made simple by her small stature. "What does that mean?" he growled.

"Ah! I, uh, I just meant that I'm glad I can still do something for Senpai thar you can't! If, if we were identical in every way except for you looking so much nicer, then there'd be no reason for her not to get rid of me and take you instead," Cartoon-Mash mumbled.

Mash processed this, and the horrifying implication that she might somehow end up with Protagonist as her Master. "Uh, no, no, that . . That's never going to happen, I think I would rather die," she mumbled.

"Really? Well, I guess that makes me feel a bit better . . You know, you could have disagreed when I said you looked than me," Cartoon-Mash petulantly mumbled.

"I could have, but lying is wrong," Mash shrugged with a perfect air of innocence.

Asterios snorted.

"Can you please put me down now, at least?" Cartoon-Mash requested.

". . How about this. You teach me how you managed to summon that giant fortress, and not only will we let you go, we'll give you directions to get back to Protagonist's place,"

The Mashes sized each other up for a moment. "Deal. I, uh, didn't see which way that Berserker sent me flying," Cartoon-Mash admitted with a hint of shame.

Mash didn't quite hide a sigh of relief; that had been a total guess on her part and she'd half expected her counterpart to call her bluff.

"It's not hard to use Lord Camelot, anyway. All you need is conviction," she shrugged.

Mash tilted her head, peering at the gremlin's too-large, poorly drawn eyes. "What do you mean, conviction?"

"Complete and unwavering faith in what you're fighting for. Absolute confidence in the impermeability of your defence. The stronger your conviction is, the harder your barrier will be to break. That's why, no matter what, I'll never let anyone touch my Senpai . . but also why I've never stopped her from touching me," Cartoon-Mash giggled in a way that Mash found off-putting, even if she couldn't quite figure out why.

". . This might be a little bit off-topic, but why do you have so much faith in Protagonist? She . . doesn't seem like a good person," Mash cautiously questioned, lips pursed.

"Because she's my senpai, and I love her," Cartoon-Mash shrugged. "What else is there to say?"

"You, um, you love her? Really?"

She nodded as best she could with Asterios still holding her in the air, eyes drooping as a dreamy smile slid across her face. "Of course I do. Even if she's selfish and strange, she's my senpai. I love her, and she loves me,"

"Really?" Skepticism dripped from Asterios' tone.

"I know she's strange, and that most people don't like her. And maybe she's not a very good person . . but she's still my Senpai. She loves me, in her own way, and I love her too!" Cartoon-Mash hotly insisted. "So no matter what happens, I'll always be there to protect her. That's the promise I made, the conviction that empowers Lord Camelot. I refuse to let Senpai down, so my shield won't ever falter. It's that simple,"

Mash's head lowered as she mulled this heartfelt declaration over. "That simple, huh . ." she mumbled.

"Which is why I have to get back to her, right now! So let me go already!" Cartoon-Mash protested, struggling in Asterios' grip.

"Did that help?" Asterios rumbled, using his other hand to pin his captive's arms.

Mash thought for a few more seconds. "Yeah. I think it did. Alright, go home. Your campsite is in that direction . . and I hope we never see anyone from your world ever again,"

"So do I!" Cartoon-Mash hotly retorted, taking off into the tree line after Mash's outstretched arm.

Mash and Asterios watched her go for a moment.

"You wanted her gone . . did it really help?" Asterios rumbled.

". . Yeah, I think it did," Mash replied, lips pursed and gaze distant.

"Probably doesn't mean much . . from me," Asterios muttered. "But I think . . you'll be a great hero,"

Mash started a bit. "Oh - gosh, Asterios-san, don't say that about yourself, you're wonderful! Especially, because, that, um, that means a lot . . thank you,"

He chuckled, a harsh and grating noise that still conveyed affection. "Come on. Back to camp. Master should get back soon,"

OMAKE:

"Under normal circumstances, when dealing with a Gary Stu type OC self-insert, running would be futile because us being faster than him would undermine his overwhelming importance. Fortunately, we're not in his universe, so we have a solid chance of escaping!" Tyler explained even as they ran.

"He's gaining on us," Changgong informed him with a glance backwards.

"Oh . . Run faster!"