Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Izuku Midoriya is, to the root of his being, undoubtedly, gay. He’d never found an interest in girls, and the idea of marrying one or gods forbid, sex, made his stomach hurl.He was sure of this fact. The finishing blow was developing crushes on his male classmates at times. It was unfortunate that he’d never have a chance to actually tell any of them, considering they all wanted him dead.

He knew eventually he’d be outed to his mother. He’d come to the conclusion that he’d rather she find out from him before that happened.

And so, 12-year old Izuku Midorya walked into the living room of his cramped apartment. There on the couch, sat his mother. She had medium, straight, green hair that was tied into a half-pony. Izuku’s hands trembled at the prospect of finally telling his mom the feelings that had been stuffed inside his chest for years.

“Is everything okay sweetie?” His mom asked, noticing him standing awkwardly in the doorway. “You look anxious.”

She wasn’t wrong, he was terrified.

“I erm… I have something t-to tell you, Mama.” His voice wavered, stress and fear creeping into his throat as he continued on , “I’m gay.”

Izuku knew that his mom wasn’t exactly the most understanding. He thought back to when Kacchan had announced to her one day a few years ago that, “I’ma boy and nuffin' else! ‘M no yucky girl!” And realistically, he’d never really acted like a girl. He would yell when Auntie tried to get him to wear dresses or grow his hair out. When his quirk developed, he’d explode any dolls Auntie gave him.

Izuku’s Mom’s response to that, was an immediate no. “You’re just going through a tomboy phase honey, I promise you’ll enjoy girly things soon enough.”

Kacchan still transitioned, and although she hated it, she still let them be friends. She knew that Izuku would’ve been devastated had she not. Sometimes he wonders if he’d rather it would’ve happened like that.

His mother’s response snapped him out of his thoughts, back into reality. “Izuku, you are not a faggot. I’m not sure what Katsuki has been telling you, but you will grow up and marry a beautiful woman one day.” Her tone was stern and angry. It almost scared Izuku, but he knew his mom had never actually been mad at him.

“Mom please, I promise I’m not making things up or lying. Can you please trust that I know what I’m talking about?” He pleaded. Maybe he shouldn't have done this. He could’ve just sucked up the discomfort that came with being told that his future was with a woman, should’ve just ignored it until he was old enough to move out.

“Do not raise your voice at me young man! Go to your room, I’m taking your phone until you come to terms with the fact that you are a perfectly normal boy .” And god did that sting, something feeling so wrong about being called a ‘perfectly normal boy’.

With tears welling up in his eyes, he silently handed his phone to his mom. He trudged back down the hallway towards his bedroom, shaking and holding back sobs. That did not go as planned.

His room was fairly average for a teenage boy obsessed with heroes. Covered wall to wall in posters, hundreds of dollars in figures collected over years, hero themed stationary and curtains, the works. The most important thing in his room was on a bookshelf, 12 notebooks filled cover to cover with doodles and information on every quirk and hero he could come across. His analysis skills were surprisingly good, but he’d never admit that to himself.

He walked over to the shelf and grabbed the latest, No. 13. He sat down at his desk and picked up his laptop, silently praying that his mother forgot its existence. He plugged his headphones in and only put one earbud in his ear, so he could hide it at a moment’s notice if he heard his mom. He typed in his password and logged onto HeroTube, ready to zone out and analyze for a while. Tune out everything but picking apart quirks.

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He wasn’t sure exactly when he'd realized, but he wasn’t a boy. Maybe he’d known all his life and just never accepted it. It didn’t matter, because the truth is, Izuku is non-binary. No doubt about it.

The words ‘ you shouldn’t be doing this, leave, she’s never going to accept you’ raced through their head. Realistically, they were true. Their Mother never would trust them, and they were just going to have to accept that. They still thought she deserved to know.

Begrudgingly, they knocked at her door. The wave of anxiety and terror from the first time they attempted this rushed back into their bones. 

She opened the door, asking what was wrong. “Is everything okay baby?”

Their panic worsened, ‘Oh god, she’s going to hate you, she’s going to kick you out, go away, keep yourself alive you absolute Deku’

“Hey, Mom. Remember when I was 12 and I told you I was gay?” They weren’t sure why they were starting with this, honestly. Or why they were still here, and not packing their things.

“Oh honey, please tell me you finally realized how dumb that fascination of yours was. I’m so glad you understood!” She seemed genuinely happy that they were here. They decided to not get kicked out, not if she was this excited. And they needed at least a little more money before they could move out and be able to at least have a hotel room.

“Yea, I’m sorry it took me so long.” They decided to respond, trying to be careful and to just get a chance to leave ASAP. Their hands were shaking and they were desperately holding back tears.

“Give me a second, sweetie. I need to grab something. You can sit on the bed.”She told them, inviting them in and gesturing to the bed.

She walked over to her closet and grabbed an old shoebox. It was from his special, government-required, red shoes. The only kind that didn’t crush his toes while he wore them.

She handed the box to Izuku, smile beaming as she gestured for them to open it.

Inside was their phone, the one they hadn’t seen since they were 12. They had bought themselves a cheap, burner flip-phone a while ago, for emergencies. Their Mother allowed them to keep their laptop, specifically for schoolwork. She checked it routinely and they had to learn very quickly how to hide stuff, but their phone? They had given up all hope, assuming she’d already wiped and sold it.

“It doesn’t have service right now, but I didn’t delete anything.” She informed them, “I’ll add you back on my plan once I get a chance.” Was this all it took for her to care? For them to lie, to say ‘I was a stupid child, I'm not actually gay’ and she’d just care? Like that?

“I love you sweetie, have fun with your phone.” Was the final punch in the gut, realizing they hadn’t heard those words in years.

“Thanks Mom, love you too.” They replied. They just wanted to go to their bedroom and weep. Mourn the love they hadn’t realized had left until it came back.

Although, had it ever really been there?