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English
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Part 1 of DCU (Daisy Cinematic Universe)
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Short stories I'd die for
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Published:
2023-01-16
Completed:
2023-01-19
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12,707
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6/6
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Small Truths and Heavy Hearts

Chapter 4: Chapter Four

Summary:

Johnny asks for a favor. Ghosts realizes he might be getting out-played by a toddler.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Ghost couldn’t tell if he was being punished or rewarded. Every day that passed, every single wave from across the park, every invitation for dinner, every soft hand landing on his shoulder when he inevitably ran out of the house in the middle of an anxiety attack– it was all too much. 

Johnny was too much.

He was too kind, too curious, too sweet, too perceptive, too giving, too trusting, too handsome, too earth-shatteringly hot, too normal, too straight–

He had finally given up and started journaling about his daily run-ins with the scot and his daughter. He found that re-reading his thoughts helped him discern what was actually an astute observation, and what was probably an overreaction based on anxiety and fear.

 

He had now been there for six weeks, and his neighbors had slowly but surely become his source of comfort. He still had not heard anything from Price; he knew that the captain would reach out if there was anything he needed to know, but that knowledge provided only a small comfort. Without a lifeline to his real life , as he called it in his head, he had no option but to turn to his new one. 

Ghost was not a man to get lost in small comforts. He could go months sleeping on rocks, surviving on dehydrated vegetables and small rodents. He could spend countless hours completely still, not even his breathing giving away his position. He was not one for small talk, for hobbies, for relationships other than the extremely professional and necessary for his line of work. 

And yet. 

And yet he found comfort right next door. He found that all of these things he thought he didn’t need; the companionship, the small jokes, the warmth of a homemade meal and the soft physical touch of another– all of these things warmed him from the inside and made him sleep better at night. 

He still wrestled with his own thoughts. That dark, excruciating, suffocating thought of undeserving crept at him during the night, after he had settled in bed and his muscles let go of the tension of the day. Once he was half-asleep, his attention wavering, those thoughts came back full force. 

The pain and the cold threatened to destroy this small microcosm he had built for himself, where he was safe, warm and content. Not happy, not yet. He wasn’t sure if he could ever be. But content? Yes. Entertained, cared for, acknowledged and appreciated. But those voices whispered to him; those voices that sounded much too like his father for his liking. Those voices that told him, time and time again, that he was only good for one thing– for killing. He didn’t deserve normalcy; he didn’t deserve appreciation and comfort, because those feelings were reserved for humans, and he was anything but. He was a cold, hollow husk of a man, whose worth and existence began and ended with the barrel of his rifle. He was only as necessary as his skills with his knives. He was kept alive with the sole focus of making life drain out of others. 

How dare he entertain being worthy of Johnny’s love?

Johnny who was so naive, so full of life, so whole . Who wasn’t plagued by memories of victims when the sun went down. Who had a life worth-living, a child under his care, and gave so much of himself to others, and deserved so much more in return. Something Ghost could not give him. 

Ghost rubbed his face furiously when he realized that it was wet with tears. He took a few deep breaths and dug his fingernails on the palms of his hands, trying to bring himself back from the brink. It was never easy. The longer he let those thoughts roam free, the more difficult it was. 

And yet as he tried, he felt the phantom presence of a warm hand on his shoulder. That soft hand that handed him a plate of food every now and then, that curled into a fist and playfully punched his shoulder when he made an awful joke. That hand that helped ground him when he tried to keep his breathing under control. That hand that belonged to the man that Ghost most decidedly didn’t deserve, but whose mere memory helped him come into the light.



Ghost, maybe by design, maybe by because the army had forced it into him, was always an early riser. He climbed out of bed usually before the sun was out, and made himself a cup of tea. As part of his new routine, he tried to journal a little as he had his breakfast, trying to get ahead of his thoughts, straightening them out before they had time to scramble. After he finished, he would either do a few PT exercises, or take his normal walk around the neighborhood. 

That was why, when someone knocked on his door at around 7 AM, he was up and at it. 

He moved from the kitchen to grab his cane– once again not his preferred weapon but the one closest to him– and opened the door with a distrusting look on his face; a look that changed immediately once he saw Johnny and Daisy on his doorstep, the man looking disheveled and anxious. 

“What’s wrong?” Ghost immediately asked, looking past his neighbors and making a quick check of the street. Nothing out of the ordinary.

“Ah’m sorry abou’ this– There’s an emergency at the clinic and ah have to run. Do ye– Do ye think ye could take Daisy to preschool? It’s by the fire station, ah’m sure ye’ve seen it– If ah take her ah’ll be late.” Johnny blurted out all of this hurriedly, his accent stronger as he was clearly anxious. It took a second for Ghost to understand but he immediately nodded.

“Of course. I can–” He choked a little. He had agreed so eagerly . “I can take her. I’ve seen it. ‘The Magic Tree’, right?”

Johnny nodded, relief washing over his face. “Aye, that’s the one. Thank ye, Sam. Ah owe ye.” With that, he squatted to look his daughter in the eye. “No funny business, Pumpkin, arrite? Don’t make it harder for Mr. Sam. Be good.”

His daughter, to her credit, nodded solemnly at him before planting a wet kiss on his cheek. “Will be good. Ah promise.”

Johnny straightened up and placed a hand on Ghost’s shoulder, squeezing it gently. Ghost tried not to squirm. 

“Thank ye so much, Sam. Teacher is Miss Gemma. She’ll be waiting at the door.”

He left hurriedly, and Ghost stared after him. He was only pulled out of his thoughts by Daisy clearing her throat obnoxiously, regarding him with an all-too-knowing smile. This child knows too much.

“Are you ready to go?” He asked dumbly. The girl made a half turn to show him her backpack and nodded, stretching out an arm for him to take his hand.

 

And so, they walked. It was only a couple of blocks to the main square, and then two to the left to the preschool. Ghost had canvased the entirety of the town– it wasn’t too hard since it was  small– and walked with purpose. He noticed, with a soft smile on his lips, that Daisy also knew the way, and was treating him like he didn’t. 

She smiled at every person that walked by them, tried to pet every dog, and ran her tiny hand across the bark of every tree trunk. Ghost observed her silently, trying to see Johnny in her features. She clearly had his dark hair, but her eyes were a soft brown. Her nose was more button-like and her cheeks chubbier, but the look of concentration in her eyes as she made him stop so that she could jump over a fallen tree branch– that was all Johnny.

Ghost wondered what Johnny’s wife had been like. Wondered how much Johnny thought about her, if he talked about her to his daughter. Was she aware of what had happened? Did Johnny go on dates, or did he stay away from romantic interaction? Was he even ready to be with someone else?

As lost as he was in this train of thought, they made it to the school in record time. As parents and children shuffled about, Daisy pulled him to who he guessed was Miss Gemma– something the little girl quickly confirmed as she called out to her. 

“Miss Gemma! G’mornin’! This is Mr. Sam.” She gestured to him, her eyes bright with excitement. The teacher looked up at him, a spark of recognition in her eyes. Surely, Ghost had not interacted with her before. And yet she looked at him like she knew him. What–

“Ah, Mr. Sam! You must be Mr. MacTavish’s partner. Daisy has not stopped singing your praise.”

The world stopped rotating on its axis. 

Partner? Partner? As in—

She had to be mistaken. Why would she think Johnny and him were together? Had he said anything? Surely he couldn’t have. Did Johnny think they were a couple? What would have given Johnny the idea that they were–

That he was–

He looked down at Daisy, who giggled and disappeared into the school. That little–

“I’m sorry,” the teacher backtracked, clearly seeing his discomfort. “Daisy talked about you a few weeks ago and said you were her dad’s new boyfriend and I took that at face value.” She was clearly apologetic, thinking she had offended him. He snapped out of his thoughts to shake his head and reassure her as best as he could that it was fine, that he wasn’t, no not him, Johnny was his friend, and Daisy was–

Well, Daisy was somehow trying to play matchmaker.



A few hours later, as he was talking out the trash, he felt a presence behind him. He turned to see Johnny, his eyes wide with horror, his face red as a beet.

Ah.

“So, Miss Gemma asked to talk to me today at pick-up–”

“It’s no problem.”

“No, wait, because ah- ah didn’-- Daisy– Ah don’t know why she thought– We’ve been spending so much time together and she– no’ that there’s anything wrong wi’ it, ah mean, ah like men too and Daisy knows, but–”

“Johnny.” The scot stopped his rambling and looked up at Ghost with huge, apologetic eyes. Once again, Ghost had the impulse to just kiss him stupid. This man, wracked with guilt and embarrassment about something his daughter had said, thinking that his relationship with his neighbor was ruined. Thinking he had offended him, that his daughter’s eagerness had made him feel uncomfortable and uneasy, that he would retreat back to his shell. He had no idea how Ghost’s heart had been singing all day. 

“I don’t mind. Really. It was sweet. I was honored.” The last part slipped before he could stop himself and he now felt himself flushing. Now this was really embarrassing. 

“A– thank you.” He could see Johnny trying to make sense of what he’d said, searching his eyes for more meaning behind them. His skin started to burn. 

He shot him a quick smile and made a quick getaway. In the safety of his home he took a deep breath. He didn’t know what to make of the interaction. What was Johnny looking for? 

Ah like men too and Daisy knows

Surely he didn’t need to explain himself to Ghost. But clarifying that he did, in fact, like men, and that it wasn’t something Daisy had made up–

That means nothing , Ghost chastised himself. That doesn’t mean he likes you.

Ghost shook his head, trying to keep the dark thoughts at bay. Every interaction he’d had that day had left him utterly confused. And yet, this last one–

Confused and hopeful.

Notes:

Can you imagine Daisy just coming into class one random Tuesday and being like "my dad has a BOYFRIEND"