Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When Chief had been picked up by Nightingale, the adjutant had berated Faye and Eirene for their outlandish ideas and for disregarding Chief’s opinions. If this was a high school setting, Nightingale would be the upstanding kid protecting Chief from the bullies. Chief often found herself relying on Nightingale in and out of the MBCC. If fate was real, Chief would like to thank fate for bringing this wonderful teal-haired woman into her life.

‘Ashy—I mean, Chief! Why are you just standing there?’ Bianca skipped towards Chief in the photography studio. ‘Go get changed already.’

‘Why? I’m only here to observe the photoshoot and make sure everything goes well.’

‘But you’re supposed to be the model for the calendar. Didn’t Faye tell you?’

Chief blinked. That little…

‘C’mon, hurry up, Chief!’ Bianca pushed Chief towards the changing area which was really just the corner of the room with several privacy screens set up. ‘Get chaaanged.’

‘Wait, Bianca…’ It was impossible to resist Bianca’s strength. She was a Sinner after all, but even if she wasn’t, Chief would still struggle against those mini biceps gained from carrying a heavy camera all the time.

‘We’ve got all sorts of costumes for you.’ Bianca began to riffle through the outfits that hung on the two clothes racks. ‘Look at this. Isn’t it cute?’ She held up a sailor uniform with a short skirt.

‘I don’t think that’s my style…’ Chief was sure that the sailor uniform wasn’t an official school uniform. But she didn’t know which was worse: the fact that it lacked cloth or that it had suspicious looking seams.

Bianca looked at the uniform and pouted. ‘Aw, I wanted to see you in it.’ The disappointment disappeared as soon as it came, and she perked up instantly. ‘Okay, but how about this one?’ Bianca pulled out a white summer dress with lace trim.

Chief scrutinised it. ‘That looks fine.’ It looked like a normal dress, and Chief hoped that it was just a nice normal dress. ‘Hold on. Spin it around.’

Doing as ordered, Bianca flipped the dress around.

Of course. Chief inwardly groaned. ‘That’s too much, Bianca. There’s literally only crisscrossing ties all the way down.’

‘Isn’t that the point? It’s a summer themed photoshoot.’

‘For the entire MBCC calendar?’ They were going to have summer themed photos for every month of the year? Even December? When it was going to be Christmas?

‘Yeah, and look at how pretty it is! If you’re worried about how you’re going to sort out the back, just get in, and I’ll lace you right up! I have dextrous fingers. You can trust me to do a good job.’

‘It doesn’t even cover the butt!’

‘It’s okay. You have a nice butt, Chief.’ Bianca gave a thumbs up and a grin.

‘That’s not the point.’ Chief could feel herself getting warm. She wasn’t sure if it was caused by the embarrassment or the annoyance.

‘Your ass is nice and can sell. Faye told me to make it the star of the show.’

I’m going to have to speak to Faye. Chief put her hands on her hips. ‘My butt isn’t even anything spectacular. Stop focusing on it like a pervert.’

‘Hey, hey, don’t you dare,’ Bianca said, brows drawing together in an adorable way.

Chief sighed. ‘I’m sorry that I called you a pervert.’

‘That’s not the problem.’

‘It isn’t?’

Shaking her head furiously, Bianca shoved the clothes back on the rack. ‘You can’t be mean to your butt like that. It works so hard for you, y’know? Your butt helps you balance when you bend over, and it’s literally like a portable cushion. Can you imagine how awful it would be to sit on just bones? Like, ouch.’

‘Um…’

‘You gotta appreciate your butt, Chief. You can’t take it for granted! Some people don’t have butts at all.’

‘What?’ Chief was confused. She could barely follow what Bianca was saying. Was this reporter here angry because Chief didn’t treat her own butt kindly or something? It’s not like Chief was bullying her own behind, but why did it feel like she was getting told off by Bianca about it?

‘Treat your butt well, Chief!’

‘O… kay? Sure.’

‘You’ll regret it one day if you don’t.’

‘Uh, right.’

‘I mean, have you seen Bai Yi’s butt? It ran off somewhere, and now she’s suffering because of it,’ Bianca said, shaking her head.

‘It ran off? What?’ Bianca was getting harder and harder to understand. Did she drink too much apple juice today?

‘Yeah, you should have seen the state of it. She got me to airbrush and warp her butt in the recent profile photos. The full body ones.’ Bianca’s eyes turned teary. ‘I felt bad, so I did it. Seriously, it’s so sad. I hope she gets a butt soon.’

‘But what do you mean by “it ran off”? How can a butt run away?’ The mental image Chief had was one where two butt cheeks detached themselves, grew tiny arms and legs, then dashed away from the owner.

‘Well, she used to have a little bit of an ass. I don’t know what happened, but, like, it just disappeared one day, and now she relies on photo editing software or physical bum pads.’

It was probably best to let this topic drop. Chief had a feeling that she wouldn’t get any closer to understanding what had happened to Bai Yi’s butt.

‘So! That’s why you gotta appreciate your butt, and be thankful for it. Got it?’

‘Right.’

‘Let me hear it.’

‘Hear what?’

‘You getting along with your butt.’

Chief would have concluded that Bianca was drunk, but because it was Bianca, it was hard to tell. Her usual personality could be described as inebriated or high on life.

‘Go on, Chief,’ Bianca said, folding her arms. ‘We’re waiting.’

‘We’re?’

‘Me and the butts. We’re waiting.’

What in the black rings is going on? Chief wondered. Maybe I’m the one who’s drunk? She’d only had coffee and water all day. Could it be the effects of caffeine on an empty stomach and the lack of sleep mixed in?

‘Chief.’

‘All right.’ Chief drew in a deep breath and couldn’t believe she’d be saying her next words. ‘I like my butt.’

‘Praise it.’

‘It’s a good butt.’

‘Damn right. More.’

‘It’s a great butt that helps me get through the day.’

Bianca gestured intensely with her hands. ‘More! Louder!’

‘I love my fabulous butt!’

Deren popped her head into the changing area. ‘I love your confidence, Chief.’

Bianca nodded, and Chief felt herself flush hot when reality hit her, and it hit her hard. She wanted to dig a hole—no, she wanted to ask Eirene to summon one of her black holes and enter it right now. She imagined disappearing into the vortex, devouring her shame. Goodbye. Don’t look for me. I’ll be fine.

‘Which is whyyy,’ Deren smiled her lazy smile and produced a swimsuit with a flourish, ‘I got this for you.’

The bikini—if it could even be called that—was two pieces of grey string and three patches of material. None of the patches looked bigger than an eyeball.

‘No,’ Chief said, folding her arms.

‘But I even took the effort of finding it in a colour that matched your uniform,’ Deren said.

‘No.’

‘It’ll show off all your good bits, Chief!’ Bianca’s eyes glittered.

‘That’s precisely why I’m saying no.’

Bianca pouted. ‘But you’ll look so hot in it.’

Deren fingered the swimsuit. ‘Ugh, I put in so much effort to go get this. Can’t you at least wear it once? I promise you’ll look—'

‘QUACK!’

All three of them turned towards the sound.

‘QUACK QUACK QUACK.’

‘QUACK QUAAAAACK.’

‘QUACK? QUACK QUACK.’

The ducks had arrived and seemed to be confused with why the room was empty.

‘Thank God, they came,’ Chief muttered, exiting the changing area to meet up with MBCC’s worker ducks. They were a little bigger than normal ducks and bright yellow. Their loud quacking was sometimes intimidating, but after getting used to it, Chief thought they were rather cute. These ducks helped out around the base. The three who had just arrived wore supply office uniforms—blue overalls. Chief had recruited them as soon as she’d heard of a possible photoshoot. She was glad for her own foresight.

‘QUACK!’ The ducks greeted.

‘Thank you for coming,’ Chief said.

‘QUACK.’

Chief introduced the ducks to Deren and Bianca as the ones who had caused a riot within MBCC months ago. They’d been affected by the mania somehow, but Chief had suspected it was more than that. What was truly in these ducks’ hearts? Did they want to overthrow the MBCC? Chief didn’t know. But for now, the ones who had recovered enough from their injuries were making up for the damage they’d caused by doing extra work whenever they had a slow day at the depot. Today, they’d been requested by Chief to help out with the photoshoot.

‘We can handle the lighting,’ Bianca said. ‘I can’t take photographs as well as Lynn does, but I’m still good with cameras even if I’m not recording.’

‘Oh, they’re not here for that.’ Chief smiled, briefly noting that if Faye had managed to convince Lynn to help instead of Bianca and Deren, then the dull throbbing pain growing in Chief’s temples likely wouldn’t exist. ‘They’re here to model.’

‘What?’ Deren and Bianca said at the same time.

‘QUACK QUACK!’

Within minutes, they’d gotten the ducks in swimsuits of the respectable kind and had them standing on the cyclorama that was the backdrop of the set. The lights trained on them were bright, but the ducks didn’t seem to mind. With their props of surfboards and beach balls, the ducks of the MBCC sold the summer look. They had astonished Chief, Deren, and Bianca with how professional they were. Bianca had even asked if they had previous modelling experience, to which the ducks had replied with several loud quacks.

In the end, Chief had been convinced by not just Deren and Bianca, but the ducks as well to take part in the shoot. She took a glass of watermelon juice to use as a prop and stood there. No pose, unless you considered standing doing nothing a pose, which it certainly was technically, wasn’t it? She was wearing a purple bikini. A normal bikini that covered up a normal amount of skin around the privates. Surely this was enough effort. She was showing skin for the sake of the MBCC. Oh, wow, this feels like I’m one step closer to selling myself... Should I be concerned?

‘This is going to sell so well!’ Bianca yelled as her camera shutter clicked rapidly. Seeing some of her earlier shots had proved that she was indeed skilled with not only recording footage, but photography as well. Must have been from part of her journalism training. ‘We’ve got cute ducks, hot butts, and a yummy Chief!’

‘You certainly look yummy, Chief,’ Deren said from the side. She was lazing in a director’s chair and had been giving the ducks instructions all day.

‘So yummy! Like, drool worthy, lemme-worship-at-your-feet yummy.’

Deren smirked. ‘I’m not Cabernet, but I could eat you right up.’

Chief had long since learned to keep her face neutral. She stared at the glass of watermelon juice she held and wondered how much more of this she’d have to withstand before the repairs could be fully paid for.

It was after a few minutes when Deren spoke again. ‘Why are you frowning, Chief?’

‘How are we going to fund printing this calendar, exactly?’ It had just occurred to her that she’d forgotten about needing to pay upfront.

‘Crowdfunding, right?’ Bianca said.

‘I thought you had investors.’ Deren yawned. ‘Faye’s got it covered already.’

‘Wait, investors?’

‘Probably Eirene or Chelsea if I had to take a guess,’ Deren said. ‘Or maybe it’s what Bianca said, crowdfunding.’

Bianca examined the photos on the small camera screen. ‘Does it really matter? That’s Faye’s job, right? Getting it funded and stuff. Wait! Do you think there’s something dark going on?’ Her eyes lit up. ‘Do you want me to investigate?’

‘I—no.’ Chief sighed. ‘Never mind.’ Crowdfunding or investors was fine for Chief. Better not to get Bianca started on some non-existent trail of injustice. The girl doesn’t need more fuel to do anything crazy.

But Bianca was right with the sales. The calendar preorders had surpassed their initial estimates five fold. Faye had advertised it as the one and only MBCC calendar where you could see adorable ducks, through all twelve months of the year, and Chief in a bikini. There was also the added bonus of butts.

People seeing Chief in a bikini did not worry her. It wasn’t like they’d taken indecent photos. There were no close-ups of her at suggestive angles. In fact, the only shot of her used for the calendar was for December’s image. The photo showed her standing with a glass of red juice in her hand. She was hard to spot being no bigger than a thumbprint in the background where the ducks took centre stage and showed off their adorable—covered up—butts. What Chief was worried about was the complaints of false advertising and possible refunds.