Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Notes On Development

Following Information Is Classified.

If you proceed to spread this information to anyone you will be silenced as will the listener. All evidence will be found and destroyed.

The operation was centered in the Middle East in a only 20 year old country from a result of a revolution in Otheon. Otheon, from WHM, is a country of great economical straits. It is common in this country to be impoverished. As only 10% of the population make the upper class AND middle class category. The rest were almost treated as slaves to the wealthy corporations of not only their own companies but foreign companies. In fact, most of the corporations were funded by foreign countries.

Due to the separation of the wealthy and the poor, the poor started to rise up in gangs or, the more famous society that was formed, the COR ( Change Of Red ). 

About CoR

• Led by both an influential and terrifying man nicknamed Taghyiir
• Believe they are the core of Otheon’s society so they claimed him as the start of change in their country as they attacked the elite.
• The country believed him as the savior from their poverty and they made a revolution until Otheon had settled in halving their country as they were outnumbered and cowardly as they were not used to doing anything that they didn't already pay to avoid.
• All of these events occurred before the 3rd year of Class A where student 24 was educated.

About Thawra

• Thawra is ruled under the authoritarian Taghyiir.
• All law is to uphold men as his quirk was the ability to erase genes in people.
• Under his file there is little to nothing on this man as the documentation in Otheon was lax as only the wealthy were really cared for. 
• Using his quirk he erases the gene of having a quirk even if you are a mutant you are transformed (brutally) into what they would look like as a human. 
• People praise not really him but his ideology that quirks are the reason that they were oppressed, not necessarily the money. 
• Heroes in Otheon only worked for the wealthy as there was no money to be made (as said in WHM) so they were seen as the oppressors.
• Thawra was given its name as a reminder to all that their power exceeded that of quirks. 
• Taghyiir later became corrupted by the influence he had and created the terrorist group (which he claims as their special forces), As-Sim-u-'Alaikum (or ASuA)

About the ASuA

• This group has created the greatest amount of quirk-canceling bullets and is the world's number one supplier. (It is actually where Overhaul had learned to make them)
• Making the bullets and war machines is seen as almost sacred as Taghyiir created the idea that revenge against the quirks is necessary for the country to live in peace without oppression. 
• The Great Lake Casino Disaster is a more published event that was an act of terrorism done by ASuA. 
• The event was a mass shooting of 16 shooters in every exit to The Great Lake Casino. Killing up to 119 people and destroying the quirks of a whopping 273 people. 
• All mutant victims were bedridden as the bullets do not kill them but instead put them in a comatose state. 
• This event was the start of the recognition of ASuA. 
• This next event is the reason the Secret Operations in the Imperial Japanese Government has involvement in these foreign matters. 

The Eastern Trade Provence Bombing

• The bombing was done as Eastern Trade with Otheon was interrupted with the following Ambassadors; Natsuki Koda (Japan), Staghim Jager (Russia), Jaheem Adir (Egypt), Braden King (USA), and Salem Watson (UK).
• During this event the building’s hastens were deliberately bombed to cause the structure’s collapse. 
• The collapse resulted in the death of 7 Japanese citizens. 
• Separate Facts: (UK’s death count: 63, Egypt’s death count: 25, USA’s death count: 12, and Russia’s death count: 5.
• After the bombing ASuA challenged all the countries with heroes or are in leagues with Otheon are under attack as they plan to change the world for the better. 
• This is why the Supreme Court allowed for a hidden battle with ASuA to be born.

Possible Candidate #3

Under the jurisdiction of UA in Class 3A, Student 24

Analysis Done By Agent Tsuko

Age : 19 

Sex : M

Height : 5’9

Birth Date : October 16th, 20XX

Quirk : Hardening

Features : Dyed red hair that is styled up (originally born with black thick hair), red eyes with scar on his right eyelid, and sharp teeth.

Diet: Protein based (eats mostly meat)

Birth Town : Chiba Prefecture

Schooling:

1st Elementary School - Chiba City Matsugaoka

〒260-0807

千葉県千葉市中央区

松ケ丘町580

2nd Elementary School - Chiba City Benten Elementary School

21, Benten 1-Chōme

Chuo, Chiba, Chiba

Japan 260-0045

Junior High School - Mustafa Private Middle School

22, Benten 1-Chōme

Chuo, Chiba, Chiba

Japan 260-0045

High School - U.A. High School

1-4, Yuuei High St

NGen, Musutafu Downtown, Musutafu

Japan 190-0028

Address(s) :  

2551, Gotencho

Wakaba, Chiba, Chiba

Japan 265-0074

  (parents’ residence)

9-15, Nobuto 2-Chōme

Chuo, Chiba, Chiba

Japan 260-0032

(uncle’s residence)

Strengths: Physical strength, popularity, self-evaluating, can deflect bullets,can withstand explosives of all kinds, can withstand any temperature both freezing & scorching conditions, teachable and disciplined

Weaknesses: Speed, agility, academically struggles without repetition, values his community over authority (can be challenged), and compassion.

Behavioral Notes Below

Behavioral Notes

The change in the attitude of student 24 would be due to the fact of the special forces coming in contact with him in the recent weeks. It seems that he was not only noticed by the public in the recent sports tournament, but also our secret operation that we had just started. 

Luckily our information was correct on his abilities in keeping subjects secret as when asked about his behavior he skillfully deflects the question. 

Let it be noted that his strong relations do not appear to be strong enough for his friends to learn of his upbringing. It even came as a surprise when a picture of his middle school was brought up by student 6, Ashido Mina.

The subject was visibly tense but managed to convey that he was over his emotional state. In this context we see his ability first hand on his flexibility to be available for our program.

We decided to be silent with communication with the subject to further test his abilities. He isn’t overtly clever but understands micro expressions and can easily make otherwise impossible people to understand (student 1, Katsuki Bakugou)at peace amongst him. 

His relationship with student 1 is extremely interesting as our subject is very fluid to the other’s strange behavior. We find his nature perfect for possible interactions with our enemy, ASuA. 

His nature is trusting even with strangers as they easily open up to him whenever they meet him. Only person our subject seems to dislike is a student in class B, student 22, Monoma Neito. 

His aggression towards student 22 is incredibly rare but useful for our study. It shows how his aggression can span even under circumstances that make it difficult to instill damage but the subject easily adheres to the rules and displays his aggression to student 22. 

The subject is surprisingly mindful of his actions and abilities. He holds himself high against student 22. 

One occasion, student 22 had decided to tease the subject on becoming a coward during a training exercise. The subject was surprisingly aggressive (almost mirroring student 1) towards student 22. 

The subject was challenged to “beat the living hell out of you” towards student 22 and student 22 accepted it as a joke. The subject grew upset very quickly. Once the subject believed the instructor had exited the premises for a moment, the subject seemed calm before he walked over to student 22. 

He had begun a quiet conversation with student 22 but it quickly led to the subject not only getting in a physical altercation but was using his quirk. His aggression involved blows to the head, throat, chest, and stomach. The student 22 was reported to have a busted head, 2 concussions, 4 broken ribs, 2 fractured ribs, broken nose, swollen eye, bruised stomach, 3 teeth loss, and teared skin that risked blood loss.

His aggression in this altercation was noted as “villain-like” by others in his class including his instructor. We noted his actions as a “display of power”.

We came in contact with him again to show our support after he faced adversity. Our plan was to get a better response than our last request. It is reported he appreciated our offer but declined. But let it be noted that his comment was halfhearted as we tapped his search history about benefits of being in the military instead of heroism. We provided him with some articles that benefited us and he thankfully seemed interested in what he read.

Finally our subject had reached graduation. He has looked into our program over the course of two months after the incident with student 22. Then, one night (after what is noted as “a really bad day for our subject and student 1”) the subject had directly contacted us. We informed him what he asked. Then, we set up an appointment.

The subject had complied and contributed to the discussion. He was incredibly interested in our project. We told him what he needed. 

He decided to sign on. 

After graduation, he showed up in the office to be completely integrated into the program. We wasted no time on showing him how things would be for him from then on. 

The subject was initially reserved, but (after what was noted on as “few nights without student 1”) he agreed with a newfound diction. 

Subject: Kirishima, Eijirou had officially left Japan after 3 months of boot camp.

Subject: Kirishima, Eijirou has not existed for the last four years.

Subject: Crimson Death is the agent that ended ASuA’s reign of terror. 

Crimson Death was deployed to end an army. Japan is now revered around the world for owning the world’s most powerful weapon. A weapon that can withstand an atomic bomb.

Chapter Text

“Dynamight has done it again! Despite his constant lack of respect for interviewers, Dynamight has made it to the number one spot in popularity polls due to Shoto’s recent break from his fight with the villain Sentimo.” The blonde reporter’s voice echoed from the living room. 

This apartment only consisted of three separate areas. My bed took up most of the room with only four feet by 10 feet left for my things. Luckily being in a new apartment meant I had nothing in it yet. The living room was where I had my television and some old Crimson Riot fan merchandise. Still empty enough for at least a couch I didn’t own. Then there was the entrance mixed with the kitchen. There were some items in there but it looked more like an unfurnished hotel room. 

I tried to imagine what it would be like if I had a couch instead of sitting in the one fold-up chair I had. I looked down at my instant ramen and felt like gagging. There wasn’t any meat in there, not even protein. I knew there wasn’t any better food for me with the hollow pockets I had. 

It had been three weeks since I had gotten released from the military. Well, not really. They could call me back at any time. Still. I should be grateful for my food since it isn’t rations covered in blood stains and concrete dust. 

I knew I had to get a job again. I couldn’t live with the money I had. It was only supposed to last me a month. For being a decorated hero, I sure as hell didn’t feel like one. 

A buzz came from my phone. I jumped at the small sound. I hadn’t heard it in too long. I barely recognized its contents when I got it back. I had old finals day screenshots on it. It sort of made me nostalgic. I picked up my phone and saw the only notification on the screen. 

Hey! This is Deku! I have reason to believe that you are in town, Kirishima! I am not sure if this is your number anymore but I would love to hear from you. 

I felt my throat tighten. There was no way. No one bothered to message me until I was home? I had seen the previous text about studying and workout schedules with him last. It felt surreal to see the chain of messages connected. My fingers hesitated before pushing send.

Yeah. This is still my number. 

I felt stupid for even answering but there was an immediate response. I thought I had almost imagined the whole thing. But who was I kidding? Midoriya always responded quickly when we were young. I felt a smile tug at my lips at the familiar notion. As much as I had reason to ignore the text, I knew that I couldn’t help the old feeling of being this guy's comrade so… I opened my phone.

That’s great! I am free after five! How about we meet up at the front of U.A.? I’ll take you to eat dinner so we can talk!

I felt like I was reading this wrong. Like there was a villain on the other side of the phone with suspiciously familiar manners. He seemed way too excited for the meeting up. I felt my head spin at that thought of seeing him again. It was really sweet of him but I  had no Idea how he knew I was around again. But if this really was a villain I could easily arrest him with my old hero license. It was technically still usable even if I hadn’t been around for a while. So I let my fingers open the message again. 

Cool dude. Sounds awesome! 

I felt awkward but luckily texting didn’t involve selfie reactions. I left out a long sigh as I let my body splay out on the floor. I stared up at the ceiling as the reporter talked some more about Bakugou. Hearing his name made me want to break the TV. My fist clenched as the advertisements played. I took a deep breath as I closed my eyes. They all had a right to abandon me. After all, I did the same to them. Who am I to judge?

Bakugou’s hand held mine as the wind took over our ears. My red hair slapped my face as I looked at his smile. If we weren’t already flying in the air I would say saving him felt that way. His smile that was displayed so rarely and his stark red eyes looking at me felt like a picture only I had access to. He may have called me an idiot up there but we knew what he actually meant. 

I opened my eyes as I felt my chest hurt from the memory. It was such a scary yet important day for more than just me, but the world. For me, I got to save my best friend from the same group that ended All Might’s winner streak. Everyone held their breaths that day. BUt mine was held for fear of not the future of the country but the loss of my best friend. 

I lifted my now larger and rougher hands as I tried imagining anyone holding them again. 

I knew that wasn’t going to happen. Still. It was nice to have it at least once more. 

Getting up, I knew I had to get ready for tomorrow’s afternoon. My back cracked at the feeling of being in the same position all day. Gradually I rose from the floor to get a shower before bed. I turned the TV off before the newscaster continued the segment on heroes. I scratched the back of my neck as I walked past my military bag. I pulled out my towel and loofah from it as I saw the badges glitter from the bathroom’s light. 

Zipping up a bag that quickly would usually break the zipper but looks like I got lucky today. 

The next day’s meeting had come as I was walking up the familiar path I used to take to go home with Bakugou before the Kamino incident. Now as I walked up as a 22-year-old fully grown man, I felt out of place. My casual black tee, baggy jeans, and red Crocs seem to be quite unimpressive for Friday night. 

Students didn’t refrain from glancing at me as I was towering over them. Did I grow that much? My shadow seemed longer than I remembered and the trees seemed thicker but shorter. This is what I get for refusing to look in the mirror for this long. 

Once my feet had reached the entrance, students walked by me from all ages. I blissfully imagined myself among them wearing similar but older versions of the UA uniform. Seeing my old friends smiling at something funny said at the lunch table about the recent hero training session. Seeing a small smile trying to be hidden as the attention wasn’t on him. He would never notice how much I cared for those small moments would he?

“Hey, Kirishima,” a familiar kind, but slightly deeper voice exclaimed as I was taken from my mind. I turned and saw the approaching green haired kid turned adult. His frame is still as inviting as I remembered. His smile always made me feel like I was worthy to be on this earth. He was wearing a normal suit with a correctly tied tie. Ohhh yeah. He was an adult now.

“Hey, Midoriya,” I heard my deep scratchy voice reply. I hated that I never could be without that scratchy tone. I wondered if I had accidentally eaten glass like I was Louis Armstrong or something.

“Wow! Look at you! You got big! I almost didn’t recognize you,” his comment was accompanied with a laugh. His eyes scanned me like I was the latest All Might figure. I felt my hands twitch like I needed to be doing something with them. I just scratched my head as I felt nervous sweat creep off of me. 

“Haha, yeah. Uh- you look taller too! Like the suit, haha”, I replied. Jeez, I sounded like an idiot. Izuku didn’t seem to notice though as he nodded politely with pink dust on his cheeks. 

“Thank you. It was a gift from my mom” , he said. I wish I could be as proud as he was over the stuff he wore. He continued with a change of topic, “So! Let’s head out, huh? My ride is coming to pick us up!” 

I opened my mouth to ask what he was talking about when a sleek black Bentley Arnage pulled up as the door automatically opened for passengers once the vehicle was in park. We had to move the seat in front of me up so I could fit properly in the vehicle. I felt so awkward asking that from Midoriya but he didn’t seem to mind. 

Once I was in my seat, I noticed that there was no one in the driver's seat. “So, this is one of those self-driving cars, huh?”, I asked, trying not to sound like a little kid on a Disneyland ride. I knew this was my first time in one of these though.

“Yeah! Another gift! The car was made by Melissia Shield, my old friend from I-Island. Do you remember her,” he asked, seeming really proud. 

“Uh…”, I tried to pick at my brain for that vacation. The most I remembered was staying with Bakugou that night after helping fight that metal villain. I tried to forget the next morning when I woke up facing Bakugou looking so at peace. I wish I could feel that morning sun through the window on the mattress again. Then other images of the fight’s aftermath as we all evacuated that building where the party was held. Bakugou was annoyed at the fact that we didn’t get any food from there and I told him there were some restaurants still open we could try. Bakugou paid for the food that night telling me it was payback for the suit I got him. 

With Izuku still waiting I tried to focus on more important things like the girl she mentioned. “Um, what did she look like?” I felt dumb but it felt like such a long time ago when that happened.

“She has long blonde hair and blue eyes. She was the one that is the daughter of David Shield. The guy that was friends with All Might”, He asked politely. I felt dumb for not recognizing the name. I envisioned the girl faintly as she was smiling at Midoriya after the fight. I also remembered the suspicious looks that Uraraka had given to the poor girl that night as well.

“Oh! Yeah, that smart tech girl! Sorry I almost forgot”, I stated truthfully. I tried an awkward smile.

Midoriya smiled signaling my success. “Yeah”, he said, “She is a real tech wizz. She made this car for me on my last birthday. You should have seen Ochako’s face when it pulled up on the driveway. She thought we were in Back to the Future.” He laughed as he blushed. He seemed to be reliving the moment in his head. His smile was exuding the warmth of love. I wondered if that meant they had gotten together already. I imagined it would never happen with the way they danced around each other. Not to mention Iida’s small intrusion dating Ochako during the beginning of 3rd year. I never learned if they were all still friends after that. I was in my own world when all of that was happening.

“Can’t blame her. It is super cool,” I said in short. I didn’t think bringing up high school drama was necessary right now.

The conversation spiraled as we had gotten to the restaurant. My stomach was grateful to see a steak house instead of an instant meal in front of me.

Once we ordered our drinks and our food I looked on and saw Midoryiya seemed suddenly awkward. I tried to see why but he was just looking at his hands as if wondering how he got so many scars. 

“You good, dude?” Hopefully, I hadn’t said anything weird. 

His head popped up in surprise before he quickly said, “No! Yeah- I mean…” He looked like he wanted to ask something. I felt nervous about what this could lead to. I tried to remind myself, though. It was Midoriya, he wouldn’t ask anything crazy. Plus I was told I would be asked about it so I knew what to say.

“Go ahead, man. I won’t bite.”

He seemed to feel more comfortable as his shoulders relaxed a bit. “Well”, he started, “I want to get to the point of why I wanted to see you.” Then his eyes widened as his arms flailed in panic, “I mean! Of course I wanted to see you after all this long! But-” He seemed ashamed almost now. I felt a familiar hole in me sting. 

“You have been gone for four years now. Almost five! I guess my question is obvious, but… what happened?” And there it was. I knew polite conversation couldn’t be my safety net forever. 

“That’s… a bit of a loaded question. I mean, of course you would like to know. It's just…” I guess it was my turn to feel awkward. “I was out of the country for a while.” A half-truth wasn’t as bad as a full lie, right?

“Out of Japan? Where are you? How come you never called or told anyone,” he looked thoroughly confused. I wish I was saying this to someone who didn’t care as much suddenly.

“Um- Vietnam…” That was a lie. -Wait, calls? “Dude, I literally tried calling and texting everyone all the time. What are you talking about?”  I felt slightly offended he would say that after I sent the whole class messages for the first few months only to get nothing back. I swallowed my pride then since I disappeared on them then but they definitely didn’t care where I went if not one even sent one message on where I’d gone. 

He looked even more confused now as I looked at him with a hard glare. I didn’t think I would be annoyed at him but I knew I was holding some hate for the class once I got home. Who just ignores someone like that? “What? You can’t even remember anything I sent you? You think you are so much better than me, or something,” I felt myself raise my voice. My hands slightly hardened as I tried to suppress my rage. 

“Kirishima”, he started slowly. He then pulled up his phone and placed it in front of me. “Look, I sent you messages all the time back then.”

I was brought out of my stupor when I saw the text history in front of me. I scrolled and read some and the dates sent. I felt my eyes strain to look for the distrust in this. I found none.

“You see,” he continued, “I was trying for you even after a few years.” I scrolled through the worried messages.

Kirishima? Are you in danger? None of us can get a hold of you!

Scroll.

Just tell us if you are safe! We asked Sensei Aizawa what happened to you but he said that was confidential information. Kacchan is really freaking out.

Scroll.

I hope you are safe and happy wherever you are. If this number is not under the name Kirishima anymore, could you please let me know?

“At one point I gave up trying to reach you and said some embarrassing things. You can ignore them if you’d like.” Scroll.

Kacchan doesn’t like to talk about you anymore. He doesn’t want to admit it but he really misses you. 

Scroll.

I was at a Hero Convention today. I saw Crimson Riot posters for sale. I think you would have liked it. I bought one for you when you come back. I might just give it to Kacchan instead. He seems to be a fan of his now.

Scroll. 

Kacchan takes off work on your birthday every year. He is always so upset whenever anyone talks to him on that day. I don’t know why I sent these. I just feel like if you’d known you'd come back. He would like that as much as he seems like he wants to forget you. Sorry for bothering you.

I stopped scrolling. I felt lost. I never got these messages. Maybe my phone had stopped working this whole time? I felt so stupid. I only had my phone for the first few months after graduation but I still should have seen so many of these. 

“Jeez, Midoriya. I’m sorry but this isn’t what I got on my phone… You can look at mine if you’d like. I think I didn’t realize my phone was messed up.” I felt so embarrassed I wanted to run out of the restaurant. 

There is no way he didn’t see my embarrassment with my face heating up. I may have gotten a tan from being in the field for so long but I knew I blush like a motherfucker when I get caught up like this. 

“No, no, hey, I believe you. I’m super glad you weren’t just ignoring everyone!” Midoriya’s smile lit up again as he had just been told he was off the hook.

“Wha- you're not mad?” I felt like I was spun around ten times. 

“No! Of course not! I’m just glad that this was all just a big misunderstanding! It makes me feel better I invited you over to this place with no ill will! I’m sure Kaminari and Ashido will feel the same when they get here.” The food was served and I looked at him in shock. He thanked the waiter as I tried to regain my composure.

“When- what?” I felt like I had hardened without my quirk with the way my muscles tensed. 

There was a cleared throat. My head whipped to the left as I realized our company. Two people that looked different yet the same with their faces in stone with scrutinizing looks. Kaminari and Ashido seemed to be affronted with their postures. Kaminari seemed more annoyed then Ashido looked skeptical.

Kaminari broke the silence. “What the hell is up with your face, man?”

I wish I stayed home today.

Chapter Text

“Yeesh, yeah. Did you go against Freddy Kruger or something? I thought your quirk prevented that stuff?” 

I couldn’t help the humorless laugh that threatened to show itself. Ashido, man. If I told them where that one came from, they’d definitely ask how the hell I came in contact with an atomic bomb. 

Deku’s finger tapped my arms. It was dark and safe with my arms as walls so why would I leave it? “Kirishima? Are you alright?”

Ugh, man, I’m a real shitty guy. I lifted my head with a slow deep breath before plastering the smile I had worn since high school. The scar across my face stung a bit around my lips as my face stretched. “Yeah, sorry. I just slept badly, that’s all.” 

Kaminari squinted with his eyebrows raised. He kept his mouth shut. Ashido looked semi-curious as well as worried. I could tell her mind was working for the right response. Then she settled on, “Can we sit?” 

I nodded a little to enthusiastically as Midoriya smiled and scootched over. Kaminari sat next to Midoriya in our booth as Ashido sat next to me. I was suddenly really interested in eating. 

There was a beat of silence before Kaminari seemed to be pissed enough to speak up. “Okay, dude. What the hell, man?”

I didn’t look up as he continued. I knew it was coming after all. “Where the hell have you been?! You started acting weird before graduation, disappeared, and then show up out of the blue after 5 years?!” 

I didn’t want to tell him it was 4 not 5 yet. It would only make things worse. “I guess that sums things up”, I mumbled. I wanted to go home again.

“C’mon, Kiri! You can’t seriously think you can just mull over that fact! We thought you died or something”, Ashido exclaimed. I felt a pang of guilt as her big black eyes started to water. Kaminari looked like he wanted to choke me.

“I-uhh”, okay, time for the training to pay off, “I went to Vietnam for a while. My grandma was sick so I helped her till she passed. She lives in the country in the mountains. There wasn’t much cell service.” I didn’t even recognize my own voice. I sounded so genuine even though I knew I wasn’t.

Kaminari’s face had changed to a guilty expression. Then Ashido put her hand on my shoulder. It was supposed to be comforting but it felt cold to me. “Kiri… why didn’t you tell us before graduation?”

My mouth was moving on its own. I felt like a puppet putting on a show. “It was too hard to bring up then… She was like my best friend to me when I was younger. She was terminal then.” My face even changed with my words. This wasn’t me. It was him .

“Oh, Kiri…” I felt my heart grow dull at the hug Ashido gave me. With my growth spurt and muscle growth, her arms could only hug half of my body. I’d felt ashamed but I knew they couldn’t see that.

“S-still! You could have called or something, man! Five years! You couldn’t have not been able to send anything,” Kaminari asked, sputtering to find a reason for his anger. I knew some but I knew I wasn’t going to supply him with insults for me.

“I’m sorry, but I tried. I thought you guys were ignoring me . Turns out I was wrong. Midoriya helped me realize that a second ago, actually.” I motioned towards him with his sullen voice. 

“Oh! Yeah! Kirishima’s phone is really old. It makes sense he hasn’t got any of the messages or calls with bad reception. I saw for myself,” he stated genuinely. There was an understanding look from Ashido while Kaminari inspected my old battered phone from high school. He seemed to take it as the truth as he put down the phone.

“Damn, man. It would be you who would go through this bullshit”, Kaminari shook his head as if reeling on this new information. I couldn’t blame him. But at least he wasn’t mad or suspicious anymore. I just nodded like I was a lost cause. I really was. They should leave while they can.

“Ugh! I’m so sorry! I knew you wouldn’t willingly leave us,” Ashido deputed so relieved. Another pang of guilt came. 

“Sorry, guys. I’d hoped you all wouldn’t worry too much. I was already swamped trying to keep her farm alive along with her…” Jeez, I sound so dumb right now.

But they believed me now. I knew why but I felt horrible using my training on them. They deserved better. Before I ever joined that stupid group. 

“So… that farm gave you a full glow up, huh? Minus the scars. You look badass, though”, Kaminari started to joke. I resisted the urge to hide my face. I hated that that’s what everyone looked at when they saw me now.

“Yeah, Kiri. That farming must’ve been intense, huh,” Ashido giggled and I faked a smile. I was trained for this but I still hated it. 

“Yeah, it was pretty intense, especially the storms. A big tropical storm had made the building collapse on us. I hadn’t hardened in time for a corrugated metal sheet to slice my face,” I said in a joking tone. The less serious I made it the less they were curious about it. 

There were laughs from them as Kaminari started again, “Dude, you gotta make a cooler story for the kids once you get back in the job.” He laughed at his own joke, barely suppressing the giggles saying it.

I felt my mask slip for a second. “‘Back in the job’”, I tried to sound as level as possible as I asked. 

“Well, now that you’re back you are going to try to be a hero again. I mean you have all the credentials for it, right,” Ashido smiled as she asked. They all looked at me with such hopeful eyes. 

Oh no. I hadn’t thought about that. There’s no way I can be a hero with all that’s happened. Besides, they can recall me at any time if there are any loose strings from the operation. I had to think on the spot.

“I mean, yeah,” I started slowly to collect my thoughts, “But I can’t… I’m so out of the loop and I’m not sure anyone would hire me with how long I’ve been out of the game.” I cringed at the thought that I still needed a job. But there was no way I would tell them that. They all are probably famous from the great feats they’ve done. 

“Oh, c’mon ! Kiri, look in the mirror! You definitely can still fight! You obviously still have the physique for it. And you could just ask one of us for a spot! Not me though I got caught sleeping on the job by my agency”, Ashido finished looking awkward at that. There were nods from the other two.

Kaminari added, “That’s right! Not me though! I can barely pay for my agency right now. I can’t have any sidekicks, haha! Oh! Maybe Sero?” He switched his attention to Ashido but she shook her head.

“Nuh-uh. He is in the middle of his office supplies campaign. I don’t think he can fit Kiri into that one.” She gave me an apologetic smile at that.

“Oh yeahhh…” Kaminari said, now thinking of other options. Ashido scrunched her face as well. I gotta stop this.

“It’s okay, guys. Really. I can just-”, I tried.

“Oh! Bakugou! He can for sure! He is the number one and your bestie! He can definitely be able to afford it,” Ashido basically yelled like she was in a game show. Kaminari gave a high five to her like they just won two thousand dollars. A few other customers had looked over to see what all the fuss was about. I quickly looked down at my food.

“Um- I’m not sure about that. Kacchan isn’t on great terms with Kirishima right now. I don’t think he’d be very on board with it. Sorry, Kirishima,” it was his turn to give me an apologetic look. 

Both of them seemed to feel the same shame as they lost their imaginary two thousand. My lips threatened a real smile at that. I missed them. 

“Oh! How about Uraraka? She has an agency set up and looking for sidekicks! She may be central in rescue but she has room for combat heroes,” Izuku quipped. He seemed so happy to mention her at any given moment. 

“Uh… I’m not sure”, I grumbled. Think of something! Oh! “But I grew so much! Haha, there is no way I can afford a whole ‘nother suit!”

“No worries! There are students tasked with making some suits in the Support course right now! I could totally ask them to make you a suitable suit for their final! It will just take them two weeks if you aren’t worried about waiting,” Izuku offered as I looked annoyed at my food now.

“Ooh! I’ll help them! I have some old photos of our hero costumes so they have some references,” Ashido added, practically bouncing in her seat.

They continued planning my future for me and all I could do was keep up with what I was trained in and smile. They weren’t suspicious but now I had to worry about lying even more if I was around them more often. They looked so spirited and happy. The way Kaminari was describing from memory on the old suit exaggerating with his hands. Ashido’s tongue stuck out as she got a napkin and a crayon from a waiter to draw it out. Midoiya’s comments and smiles on what the students could do in that short time and what altercations would be cool for my suit. I couldn’t help but let them. I was already the jerk for lying to them. I didn’t want to change their good moods with the truth that would surely make them leave forever. 

I just continued to eat and play along. I can make excuses later or if an opportunity to bail comes up.

“Can you believe it? Graduation is coming so quickly I’m getting whiplash,” Ashido said incredulously as we made our way to the 3A main classroom. 

“I know, right? I feel like we should be celebrating or something for starting our last semester in UA!” Kaminari smiled at her his arms flailing as he almost tripped on the steps up to the 10th floor. Sero had used his tape effortlessly from behind to help Kaminari regain his balance. 

“Dude, don’t sound too excited. We still got finals coming up. And you guys barely passed those Midterms,” Sero commented, plainly. His big smile never faltered even as he hefted the other smaller boy up. Ashido giggled at Kaminari, swatting away the tape like a cat after he stood tall again.

“Oh, man, don’t be a buzzkill for me! I already got an earful from my mom when I returned for break! She barely talks to me about anything! This new ‘emailing parents our immediate grades’ is the worst idea Nezu thought of yet,” Kaminari finished, miserably. He planted his hands on his face and stretched his skin to make his face look like it was melting.  

I suppressed a laugh. “I can’t relate! Thanks to Bakugou, I finished with my first A on a Mid-Term test,” I smiled brightly as I looked at the best person in this room. Bakugou just hunched his shoulders and walked a bit faster than the group. I knew he was probably embarrassed. His pale skin easily turned red at any sweet words I could muster for him. He hated that but I couldn’t get enough of it.

“No fair,” Kaminari groaned. “Kirishima, you already are one of the top fighters in the class, you can’t get smarter.” His whining shouldn’t be as funny as it was to me right now.

“Quit your whining! It's annoying as hell! At least Kirishima makes an effort to improve unlike your lame-ass,” Bakugou dramatically sneered and displayed small pops from his quirk. I couldn’t help the swelling in my heart at his praise. It always felt like getting a Nobel Peace Prize whenever he complimented me, even indirectly. 

I immediately came into step with Bakugou and brought my left arm around his shoulders. I gave him the brightest smile I could muster as I said, “Couldn’t have made any improvements if it weren’t for the world’s greatest best friend and hero!” I watched as he widened at the familiar contact. There. That look always stayed in me as I fought off any villain. Bakugou’s eyes would soften as his brows would release from their stone to give me a glimpse of calm. It was always the added bonus if his cheeks had gotten red from the embarrassment. 

Surprisingly, he didn’t shrug me off like he did when embarrassed. Instead, he merely looked off to the side like the wall had suddenly become pink or something. I heard a mutter, “Whatever,” as we entered the classroom. 

Aizawa was immune to surprise as we came in as a group and sat down for the morning. Now that we were older Aizawa had allowed us to sit where we wanted, exempt tests of course, so it was nice that I could finally be next to Bakugou for the year. I felt excited for the semester. I had nothing to worry about if I had Bakugou on my back.

Aizawa went on to explain what would happen for the rest of the year according to the syllabus I never read. He mentioned an extracurricular project that would give the winner of the contest a starter agency as a beginning hero. A lot of the students got excited as they heard this. It was a lot of money and work to be starting an agency for yourself. This felt like a cheat in order to get the agency. Aizawa had then interrupted the chatter with a warning.

“This project is a big deal for graduating heroes. It would be fully paid for and given reimbursement for starting off the agency as a safety net. The project itself would help the judges understand if you are ready to own the agency already. However, given the great deal of time and effort it would take, it would be extremely difficult for the student to fit this into their already busy schedule as the year comes to an end. If you know your grades are already toeing the line of passing I would refrain from signing up. The project you provide must be an original and intuitive idea that we would use to implement the changes being done with the Hero Public Safety Commission. There will be extra classes and informational sessions that would take place during your off time as well as practice screenings for previous project presentations of past winners of this campaign. It is a big deal. So make the choice carefully if you feel it necessary to take on the project. I’ve seen students fail their final exams due to the loss of time from the campaign,” he lectured as students started to talk amongst themselves. 

I looked over to Bakugou. “Totally paid for an agency after graduation sounds awesome! What do you think,” I asked him. 

He merely huffed, “Like I need their charity. I’m doing it to change the Hero Committee; the agency would just be a plus. And anyway winning that contest and becoming valedictorian over ponytail sounds fucking perfect.” He grinned to himself.

I knew he didn’t need the money. A lot of students here didn’t have to do incredibly odd jobs for the placement test in this school like I did. They didn’t have to know that. I was worried I wasn’t going to have enough money to survive on my own anyway after I graduated. If I won this, I would be set for my future! It was so close I could taste it.

“Sounds great man! We can help each other out while we do this! I need that agency! If I can avoid becoming a sidekick to become a fully-fledged hero then I’ll do it,” I said confidently as I put out my fist for him.

He, of course, smiled like he did when he chose me for his team in our first Sports Festival. “We’ll make the competition cry!” He fist-bumped me. He wouldn’t make it easy for me to win, but I was counting on that.

Then Aizawa went on to talk about the last sports festival we would be doing as third years. Everyone got excited at that. I felt confident that even if I got 5th place I would be happy. It would be a great end to finish so high in the rankings. Although I knew I would be happy if anyone in this class took that from me. We all have been through so much together. How could I not?

Boot camp was as easy as breathing for me. A lot of the time I had in UA’s prestigious training had paid off. I was thankful my strength hadn’t been wasted. Hearing other people complain about ninety sit-ups in two minutes felt surreal. It made me realize just how out of touch I was with normal people. 

There was a lot of talk about how they weren’t in a normal physical screening test as we were involved in a more hushed operation. I knew that that was why I was put here but I wasn’t sure they would also be put through the same thing so I kept my mouth shut about it. I wasn’t here to talk anyway.

I was taking my shirt off to change out of my uniform into some workout clothes. I may have finished boot camp training but I wasn’t getting any bigger sitting around acting like this was a hard day for me. Three weeks in and I haven’t done anything I didn’t already do in UA. What a joke.

I heard my door open behind me. “Must be fun being the strongest here.”

I recognized his smooth voice immediately. “Tsuko,” I acknowledged him but I made sure to put as much annoyance I could into it.

I turned around and faced him with a scowl. His calm smile reminded me of Monoma and Touya Todoroki with his crazed purple eyes. I wanted to punch him just for looking at me. 

“What? Having double puberty with your growth spurt,” he asked, chuckling at himself. I resisted the urge to curse him out. 

“What do you want,” I said exasperated. His smile grew wider like a satisfied frog.

“Seems like the commanding officer is ready for you to move up in your training,” he said looking bored now.

“What?” 

“Pack your bags. The real training starts on Monday.” And he turned towards the doorway but paused. He then turned back to add, “Put on a shirt when you meet him, eh?”

I just watched him leave with the same scowl I’ve trained for five weeks now.

Chapter Text

My stomach was already churning walking towards Uravity’s Agency. It was covered in advertisements and such. The building itself is what the average three-story office building is. The only tell it was her agency was her face on all the ads. 

I suppressed the sick feeling as I walked inside. I was immediately greeted by all sorts of cute pink aesthetics and space decor on the walls and shelves. There was a man on the computer with his hero suit on. I realized this receptionist was a sidekick. I felt suddenly underdressed in my casual red hoodie, black tank top, and cargo shorts. 

He looked as unimpressed as I felt. “Who are you?” He asked in a monotone voice.

I made sure I cleared my throat to make it sound smoother but my throat was never capable of that. “Kirishima, Eijirou. I was told I was going to meet with Uravity today for a job,” I smiled and brought out a hand to shake. 

He only glanced at my hand with the same expression that was now feeding my insecurities. “You’re wearing that for a job interview?” He looked more offended about my Crocs than the rest of my outfit. 

I felt my muscles tense in my legs feeling like an idiot. “Is there a problem,” I asked tersely. I beat up bigger guys than him. Agh, stop thinking like that, you brute.

This time, I wasn’t even given the grace of hearing an answer. My jaw clenched as I felt a familiar frustration bleed through my head. My feet felt useless in my stance when I could be kicking bodies—no. Stop.

I itched my arm and felt a sting as I realized my hand had hardened as a response to my anger. I looked around for a tissue or something when I heard a door fling open. I jerked my head up from my arm and saw a blur of someone coming at me. Immediately, I got into a stance as I gripped the assailant tightly by their outstretched arms and slammed them onto the ground. My heart had picked up and my vision smeared on how quickly my reflexes reacted. 

There was a yelp from the attacker as I got ready to hit them with hardened arms. Then there was a groan as I focused on who came at me. Wait. Chestnut brown hair, female figure, and hero suit-

“Oww…” She curled her body as she rubbed her head. I realized with horror as I had thrown Ochako Uraraka onto the ground, breaking the tile underneath her.

“Oh no! I’m so sorry! I didn't realize it was-”

“Yeesh, I thought you liked hugs,” she pouted. She had gotten up and looked at me. With a real look, I saw how she had grown to be quite a beautiful young woman. Minus the scratches and tile dust on her now. I felt a pang of guilt again as I saw her arms bleeding from where I grabbed her. 

“Aw man,” I started, “Here. Take this.” I took off my hoodie and tried to press it onto her arms but she quickly took a step away.

Surprisingly, she smiled at me and said, “Nice reflexes. I was worried you might be rusty after four years. Ha! That’s a joke, just look at you! You’re a monster!” She giggled as she put on some gauze around both her arms as if it were just another day at her job. I felt two pangs of guilt and remembrance while hearing ‘monster’. Breathe. You know what she meant.

“Haha yeah. Made sure to stay in shape”, then my smile faltered, “Seriously, though. Sorry. I wasn’t paying attention. I just saw someone running at me and-”

“No, no! Don’t apologize! I admit it was a surprise, but trust me I spar with Bakugou on Saturdays. He is just like that. No holding back”, she gave that familiar heartwarming smile from when we were teens. I couldn’t help but believe her.

Wait- “You spar with-?”

“C’mon, let's get you situated first.” She took my arm and I let her lead me further into the building. We went into the elevator. Inside the elevator, there were cute little inspirational quotes on Post-It notes on one wall. I didn’t say anything. She was humming a song with a polite smile still on her face. I envied how easy it was for her to smile. I used to be like her before I fucked everything up.

The door opened as she continued to lead me, no longer gripping me. There was another person at a desk in front of the main room. They didn’t look up from their gaming of Solitaire on their monitor. I pretended not to notice much like the owner of the business in front of me. She must have let this happen for a reason. I knew Uraraka to be quite a hardworking lady. Her story from her upbringing always made me feel better about mine. I wish I was more of a man to share that with people like her though. Was a coward then. Still a coward now. 

“Here we are.” Uraraka snapped me out of my thoughts as I looked around. Similar set up as before in the lobby but it felt more homey with her framed pictures on the walls. I felt a smile come to my face when I saw our third-year class photo framed near a framed photo of her parents and her at graduation.

She continued, “So… Izuku told me why you were gone. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” The pitying eyes she gave me made my smile disappear. “And I want you to know I completely forgive you. No one should go through that. I’d like to make your path to becoming a fully-fledged hero easier because I know all about starting on the wrong foot.” She chuckled a bit with that comment.

“What do you mean,” I asked politely. I had an idea but I didn’t want to assume.

She looked a little embarrassed, “Well, do you remember if I ever told you about how I was low on cash in my family?”

She had no idea how much I related to that. “Oh! Yeah, I hope things are working better for you and your family.”

“For sure! I’m living the dream with these advertisements,” she said smiling to herself, “I get loads of cash this way, and saving people always boosts sales. Plus, a big portion of the money I get helps with Quirk Counseling and Mental Health clinics. I really wanna save in every way I can.” She seemed so resolute about it. I couldn’t help but envy her.

“Wow, that’s manly, Uraraka. I think I walked into the right building,” I smiled genuinely. Even if I couldn’t always be here, I was glad I was doing more than waiting for a catastrophe. 

“Thanks. Now onto the technicalities. Obviously, you are still in shape. I was very surprised at that. And we’ll do extra practice and technical practices for how we usually operate and such…” She went on explaining how things were to go down. I listened and even took a few notes on my phone with the lack of paper.

She stopped talking about the pay for sidekicks for a second. I looked up from my typing in silence. “Sorry. Am I not allowed to take notes,” I asked, already turning my phone off. She was just staring at me with wide eyes before she smiled.

“Sorry. I guess I’m just surprised at how studious you are. You only ever took notes whenever Bakugou wasn’t in class,” she laughed to herself. I tried not to cringe at his name. I quickly pocketed the phone. She didn’t know I needed to be really quick with notes in Operation Screening like the proper way to diffuse an underwater bomb. Along with international laws and Otheon and Thawra’s laws. Yeah, I knew too much about the coalition of secret government militia to destroy terrorism where there were no heroes. Not very useful now.

“Just trying to remember. My mind wasn’t ever the most reliable information capsule,” my laugh was artificial again. It sounded so natural it scared me. Using it on my friends was way different than using it on a terrorist. 

She easily forgave me and went on to explain other relevant data involving my new job. My face may have been agreeable but I couldn’t help but feel like I should make an excuse out of this. I want so badly for things to go as they were before but after all I’ve done after graduation… I didn’t deserve it.

“I will see you next week for the beginning of your training on Monday, but I won’t be there for the rest of the week. So I will set you up with one of the sidekicks here to get you started. You’ll obviously be involved in the combat section so the training should be mostly a review of what we learned from UA. Then, once your suit comes in, you can go out on the field,” she finished explaining. I thanked her a dozen times as we left after that. She and Midoriya were really my saving grace, huh?

I later went on and did the training with ease. The sidekick I had gotten was the receptionist that I had earlier. It wasn’t easy making friends with the guy at first but by Thursday I had gotten a good laugh out of him. By the end of the week, I felt better lying to a stranger over an old friend. They were a lot less curious about where I’ve been over the last few years.

Soon enough, I got my suit. Midoriya had gotten it mailed to me in a package. His note inside was clear he couldn’t make it due to him being busy with his own work but he told me to make sure I had gotten a photo alongside Uraraka to send him. I had a mental war about whether or not I should make an excuse. I got sick or something so I couldn’t work but I couldn’t manage to abandon them again. Coward.

I got suited up in my apartment and looked in the mirror which only directed my vision to the rest of my body. These kids really knew their stuff, huh? My suit was very similar to my original suit. There were a few differences like the material and some small design changes. I couldn’t help the smile I had. I was grateful to these kids for putting so much effort into it. I experimentally hardened to see if the material would last in the field. I could feel the toughness being rejected by the cloth. I knew that it would rip only after extreme conditions. Hopefully, it would never happen here. I’ll leave that nightmare to the past.

I tried to help Bakugou with his project but I ended up having him help me way more than intended. What a surprise. 

I was sprawled on the floor next to his bed typing away at the best ideas I could come up with after reviewing Federal Quirk Law and the Hero Resolution Act with Bakugou. I had finally gotten a good understanding of it to think of some good changes to some of it. At first, I was thinking about the consideration of Mutants or animals turned intellectual thanks to the quirk gene in some species. I still had time to choose but it was fun to think about it now. Plus I liked to think I was racing Bakugou in this.

“Oi.” 

I looked up from my computer screen towards Bakugou. He was criss-crossed on his bed looking down at me like a vulture. I couldn’t help the smile I got whenever I looked his way. “Wassup, man?”

“Since when did you ever use your brain that much,” he asked with an accusing look. 

I suppressed a laugh, saying, “I need that agency, man! It will be such an awesome way to start as a hero!” Also, the fact I was nearly broke, but he didn’t need to know that.

“Tch, you ain’t gonna win nothing. I already got a badass idea that’ll make those judges die on the spot,” he stated with a small puff of his chest. 

I sat up, closing my rental laptop. “Thanks for the warning! I’ll be sure to go before you so they can give me the prize before you put them on a stretcher,” I laughed, now putting my laptop on his desk. With my back turned, I felt a plush hit to my head along with some wind blowing past my ears and through my hair.

I turned around and looked at the offending pillow now on the ground. I looked up at the smirk now on the blonde boy’s lips. I slowly reached for the pillow on the ground. I saw he did the same in choosing the weapon of choice; the second pillow. I watched as he smiled with evil intent. I matched his challenge.

Then in an instant, we were hitting each other with such speed and precision, that I felt the wind wafting my hair and small stings from the aggression behind the opposition’s blows. I took my chance to tackle him onto his bed. There was an ‘oof’ before I opened my eyes to see his shoulder. 

We both started laughing at nothing. I felt lightheaded with the pillow-war effects. I twisted my head with my ear to his chest as I tried to catch my breath. Our laughs dwindled as I couldn’t help but feel light smiling. 

I pushed myself up looking down at his wild red eyes staring at me. Both of us were slightly huffing from our laughing fit. Then there it was. His eyes focused on me and I felt my smile creep on my face. His face was calm and so clear as he looked at me studying my eyes. The silence started to make me nervous enough I could feel my heart pounding. 

Before I could say a word, his hand reached up to touch my scar on my eyelid. My breath hitched as dread filled me. My smile disappeared.

“Where did you get this,” he had said so wistfully I almost missed it. I wish I had.

I pushed myself off of him and the bed abruptly. I went to grab my bag and my school bag. I felt a hand on my shoulder freezing me in place. 

I didn’t look. But I could hear him. “Stop. Don’t run away. Not this time.”

I let out the breath I was holding. I relaxed under his hand, but I still didn’t turn around. “Sorry.” I paused, collecting myself. “It’s just a lot.”

I heard the bed creak as he came in front of me. I was hopeless in avoiding his gaze. He said, “Tell me.”

Tell you what? That when I got this scar I was so weak that I cut it crying as a kid? Tell you that that was how I discovered my quirk? Tell you that my scar is a daily reminder of my weakness? I can’t.

“That’s it?” 

I looked up. Oh, that was out loud. I swallowed thickly as I nodded.

Then he punched me in the shoulder. “Ow! What the hell, man,” I winced as I hadn’t hardened in time. I rubbed the spot he hit as I pouted. He was smiling when I looked up at him, though.

“I don’t make friends with losers. Especially not weak morons! You stop that bitch talk! You fought alongside me to beat villains to hell. That won’t stop now! You used that quirk to deflect my explosions. You have to be pretty damn strong to do that,” he yelled at me but every word inflamed my heart. I knew when he had that concentrated look he meant every word. I felt like I could cry. Oh, I guess I was.

“S-so manly!” I wiped my tears. “Thanks, Bakugou!” I hardened my hands and clashed my fist together for a manly sparking effect as I slightly bowed. 

He gripped my hair as he looked me in the eyes. “Damn right! Now go to bed! We have that damned sports festival tomorrow!” I felt my heart swell with pride. I was so lucky to be best friends with this guy. Manliest guy I know. Crimson Riot, you might get competition when Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight debuts. 

I woke up from bed with a start. I felt sick to my stomach. That memory coming as a dream? I shuddered at the cold from being away from my blanket. Usually I ran hot, or maybe it was the cold sweat from the dream. I quickly tried to get out of bed and take something to make me pass out. When I walked toward the cupboard, I spotted my hero suit. I looked outside as the night was finishing.

Maybe punching a few villains will make sure I sleep well. I don’t think I can take any more dreams of him. Coward.

I put on the suit and locked my door. I pocketed my keys and phone. I went down the stairs. Going to the more crime-riddle places was good. Coward.

Tokyo sounded good. I knew some spots there that always had some shady shit going down there. Coward.

I got a valid license. I’ll be fine. 

Coward.

Chapter Text

Things have changed a lot here. For instance, the streets are more crime-ridden than when I was last in this city. I thought with the number one in town, things would be quieter. 

I was standing near a billboard in his likeness. His impossibly striking eyes bore at the viewer as the advertisement told in blood red letters for the Pro Hero Convention’s date that already passed.

I stood up looking off to the sound of a steam from a woman. My shadow would run away from the red that burned me. As I sprinted towards the sound, hopping across buildings with ease. As my heart pounded, I felt the familiar rush of blood throughout my body. I smiled as the cold night air made my gums dry.

I stepped on the edge of the five-story office building. My eyes trailed a drunken man harassing a woman and trying to pin her in the alleyway. Her screams were now muffled as the man was holding her mouth with one hand. 

Save her. I jumped down from the ledge with hardened legs to absorb the landing. I crushed the old asphalt from underneath me. The man had jumped from the sound. The woman stared in my direction in fear. I resided in the dark corner so the man couldn’t come at me with anything without knowing exactly where I stood.

“Let her go,” I grounded out as my blood pressure rose. The woman’s eyes welled up in tears as she shook in fear. Her makeup was smudged sporting a black eye from her offender. He was squeezing her face with no care for how much it hurt her. He is no man for treating her like this. Make HIM quiet. No. Save her. Focus.

The man’s surprise changed as he pulled out an impressive G18 fully automatic with his non-busy hand. His arm pointed in my general direction. “Fuck off! This whore is mine! She likes it, the nasty bitch,” he said as he gripped her hair to throw her behind him. She yelped as she started to sob. 

That’s all it took. I hardened my body as I sprinted at him like a freight train. His gun went off. I saw as the bullets ricocheted as he saw me in the light. He let out a pitying scream. I grabbed both his arms as he cried out. Blood flew in front of my vision as my left arm threw him into the wall. I had caught the gun he dropped and crushed it in my hand. Blood and bullets fell near the woman’s dark hair splayed on the asphalt. 

The man got up and started to plead to himself, “Please! Stop! Oh, God!” He was holding his destroyed arm. His helpless eyes staggered on me. I smiled.

“Only hell wants you.” My voice sounded like grinding metal underwater. Make him pay. Save the innocent. Kill the unrepentant.

There was a scuffle from the woman giving space between me and her attacker. I didn’t look at her. I ran at the man. My hardened skin made scratching metal squeal at my movement. The coward tried to move away. 

I raised my fist. He wouldn’t be the first man I’ve crushed the skull of. I felt myself smile reaching my already bloodied hand towards him. He wouldn’t be the last either. A sick feeling in my stomach went ignored. 

“Stop!” The woman screeched behind me. She broke into sobs, “Please don’t kill him!”

Just do it! I slammed my fist near his head instead. The brick wall cracked and pieces sliced the man’s cheek and neck. My breathing sounded like a monster wheezing but I knew I could stay like this for hours torturing the man instead. 

No! I’m a hero! Not a villain. So start acting like it!

Not after all I’ve done.

The man’s and the woman’s cries were lost to my ears now. I could only focus on the blood that dripped from my fist slowly dripping on the floor. My eyes had watched the blood crawl in the cracks of the brick wall. 

The red glinted in the singular warm light over the woman behind me. Its haze still managed to reflect off of the dark blood. Just kill him already!

I shifted my eyes towards the man. He no longer spoke to me. I could only watch his disgusting face weep for the end of his life. I unclenched my fist.

The rain started to sprinkle. Huh. I missed the rain. I could smell it now.

Then there was a flashbang that went off over me. I staggered from the familiar sound and brightness. I punched blindly at where the man was but only met brick. 

Once the light disappeared, I got into position for any attack as my body hardened as a whole. Immovable. Unkillable.

“Think you can kill while I’m on the job?”, a gruff voice that made me still my heart asked. I turned my face to him and felt my stomach crawl. 

The man was smaller but no less threatening. The orange “x” blared at me in the light as he dropped the ruined man near the shaking woman. His sneer was so familiar yet so foreign. His blonde hair drooped slightly as the rain picked up. 

“Get out of the dark and fight me, Steroids,” he taunted, showing off bombs from his palms. He was a bit more muscular than my memories. He only slightly looked different. His image couldn’t be bothered with time, huh?

My heart pounded in apprehension. I felt myself walk into the light. My hardening all but disappeared. I felt my face fall along with the drops of rain. I looked down at him as I stopped just 12 feet away from him. 

His demeanor changed completely. His muscles went slack with his eyes wide as we were struck with me. His eyes. Red eyes that could see through my dull ones.

There was silence as there was rain. There were some heels that came after him from the street. “Dynamight! Don’t run off like that!”

I turned away towards the voice as I saw Uravity come towards us. She stopped to join the staring contest but she spoke first. “Kirishima? What are you doing here?”

Jeez, I should have gone to sleep again. Coward.  

“What. The. HELL?”, Bakugou ground out. Every word was filled with so much venom, I winced. What a reunion. 

I didn’t say a word. I only looked at the cracks in the brick near me. Coward.

The heels came in front of me. I looked at her small frame. “Kirishima. What are you doing?”

“What the fuck?! Pink-cheeks, what the hell is going on?” His voice ripped through my skull. I felt almost like I was hardening to stop the hurt that came from it. I needed to get a grip.

She turned towards him, her wet hair spraying my midsection. “Just hold on! Kirishima,” she turned her big eyes at me. “What’s happening? You haven’t even met with me yet.”

There was some grumbling next to us. I didn’t look. “I- I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to kill him.” Yes, you were. You wanted to. Tears started to mix with the rain. I grit my teeth as my skin prickled from the cold rain. 

“What? Kirishima-”

“Oi! So what? He’s a villain now?,” Bakugou shouted with anguish. “Were you hiding him or some shit?” I could hear the hate burn his teeth. 

“No! Something must have happened for him to do this! He’s trying to be a hero again,” she yelled back. The rain trailing down my face was a good cover for my misery.

“This punk wasn’t going to do shit! He was going to kill the motherfucker!” He’s right.

“Just stop! We’ll talk about this in the morning!” She gripped my arm and pulled me away. She yelled towards Bakugou, “Take those two to a hospital! Bye.”

Hearing a string of curses before a blast that meant he was gone, I felt my heart go through a shredder. I wanted to crawl away from all of this. I missed being in Tsuko’s office talking about past war heroes. I felt my fingernails pierce the skin of my palm as I tried to calm myself. Breathing was a lot harder than I remembered it being when I was going to kill a man.

We entered a small corner store. The man at the register didn’t pay attention to us as we went to the men’s bathroom. I watched her wash my hands for me. I felt limp. I didn’t bother to care what was going on. This is what I get. I was being an idiot thinking I could be a hero after all that. 

My eyes watered as I saw the red going down the sink. 

The red hair dye went down the drain. I turned towards the mirror and smiled. I walked out of the bathroom and saw Bakugou sitting in my bed. 

He smiled and said, “Ready to beat some ass?” He straightened his back and raised his fist to me.

“Hell yeah, man!” I fist-bumped him. My school gym outfit was getting tight on me again. I didn’t care though. It was going to be ripped apart after the Sports Festival anyway. 

Tears went along the blood going down the rusted sink. There was nothing I did that warranted crying. Quit feeling sorry for yourself. It is your fault any of this shit happened. They didn’t want to talk to you because you are so pathetic you can’t even prevent ripping someone’s ear off in training. 

The sergeant was right for starving me if I couldn’t help but act like an animal around other starving people. I should’ve let them eat. My stomach as I remembered considering eating the man’s chopped-off ear after we fought for the food. 

I was losing my mind. This training felt like hell every day. Something new. Something hurt. Today I ate after 8 weeks of little to nothing to eat. They promised I would eat a lot more now as I had passed the test. I finally dried my hands.

I hardened my body as I lay back in my needle bed. I was meant to stay hardened all night every night. After doing this for a month it felt like second nature. The quirk training was getting intense along with the dire straits training. I knew how to use any machine I came in contact with like a tank, helicopter, and machine gun. I knew how to survive a gas chamber with and without a quirk. I was put through psychological torture so I would know I could handle it.

All this for what? To make a monster? Was I even human anymore? I would ask myself this after every time I lost control. I feel less and less confident about my restraint when fighting. But did it matter? No one fucking cares. 

I looked towards the mail that I sent that never got answers and was reminded of all the calls and texts that couldn’t ever be answered. Hell, I would even take a letter from my bastard of an uncle right about now.

My tears had stopped as I stared at my white ceiling. The dorm I had should be considered a cell with the bars and protections they made for this room. I couldn’t blame them for thinking I would one day just snap. I felt like I was already teetering that line.

Fuck. I was filled with that muddled emotion that I was torn between screaming my lungs out and the desire to rip apart my room. I wanted so badly to go back before I fucked my life. But I set my house on fire and killed the firefighters so I had to watch it burn.

Burning fire could never compare to the red of blood. The blood was gone now though. 

Uraraka pulled up my hands to inspect them before drying them off. She ensured to get every crack of my hands clean and dry before she hugged me. Her warmth only made me feel the twisted feeling in my gut. I didn’t move.

She let me go before looking up at me. Her lips were moving but I heard nothing. She turned and walked out of the bathroom. I saw her pull out her phone as she did. 

I looked into the mirror and touched the length of my scar. It was so hideous but not enough for people to see what it’s done to deserve the hate that burned in me. My traps rose as I hunched over the sink. My hands were shaking. 

I almost killed somebody again. In front of him. I tried to ignore the image of him in my head. His voice sounded off in my head like chants in a church. Everywhere I heard him. 

‘He was going to kill that motherfucker!’ Hearing his voice say that made my vision swim. My head was feeling light as I crushed the sides of the sink. Breathe. The red in the mirror from my hair dripped from my skull over my face. He was looking at me as the blood dripped through his teeth and poured from his chin. 

His smile was sliced where my scar struck across my face. The white of his eyes shadowed leaving his crimson-blood gaze looking back at me. The red was invading my gaze as my heart ripped outrage for me to throw a fist at the mirror. It shattered as I hardened to prevent any more memories of him.

There were arms shaking me out of it. My vision cleared up as I saw Uraraka have worry traced across her face. Damn, again? “Kirishima, calm down.” I looked past her at the mirror and sink. They were fine. Huh. 

I looked at her again and finally noticed my rapid heart and breathing. I forced myself out of it again. Damn it. Last time I did this wasn’t in front of anyone. She probably saw me as a weak bastard. “Sorry”, I croaked. God my voice sounded so thick and disgusting. 

“Hey. Stop that. You’re okay. Just tell me what’s going on,” she said so softly. I almost did. Damn, she sounded like my mom almost. At least, I think she did. I barely remember her. 

Lying was easier than breathing now too. “I had a nightmare last night. I started getting them back in Vietnam after the storms. Usually, I could go out and till and hunt in the night. I just never got used to resting after that. I think that is why I’m freaking out,” I explained. She helped me up with her quirk as I was much too heavy for her otherwise. 

“Okay. Okay. You just need to calm down. Don’t worry. I’m great with the trauma in heroes. After all, I fund clinics for them and normal quirk kids. Trust me, you aren’t the first person I’ve helped up,” she smiled at me. I didn’t say anything else as she took me home. She told me other consolation stories she’s had helped people who went through similar fears. It was nice to hear but none of them had the track record like me. 

I didn’t try to relate to any of it. I didn’t want to lie any more than I needed to. Once we were at my apartment building, though, I was almost going to say I was only staying here for a bit until my real apartment was ready since she had just stared at it. 

She then told me quietly like she was afraid to say it, “I’m sorry. But I won’t be available to fight for the next few months.” Now that got me sitting up. 

“Huh? Why? Are you okay,” I asked, feeling I messed up. 

“Yes! I’m more than fine actually. I am going on a trip that’s all. I am starting more of a worldwide fundraiser for quirk awareness in children. I’ve gotten everything ready for me to properly go to countries where it is the most apparent. I’ve been setting this all for years so it’s unfortunate that you came around during it. But don’t worry. I won’t leave you alone. I got some other agency to hold you. 

“I know it is a lot but I wanted to make sure you were at least set up to go into heroing smoothly. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more for you,” she stated, letting me speak. She was looking up at me with sorry eyes.

“No. I’m glad you are doing something so manly! Don’t be sorry for that.” I fidgeted with my unfastened seat belt as I tried to understand what was being said. This was good, right? Another agency would be better so I didn’t have to lie and cause any more trouble for my friends. 

“Well, I’m glad to hear that but that isn’t the biggest thing. You see…” she trailed off now looking off to the street in front of her tugging on the edges of her hair. She said before saying, “I left you in the care of the Dynamight Agency.” She didn’t look at me as she seemingly held her breath. 

I held my own as the information mulled over my head. “Even after…?” I asked cluelessly looking at my knees. Too big for her car. 

“At first he said no. But I think he said yes because he secretly misses you like the rest of us did. We know you. We know you were probably hurting acting like you did earlier. I’m sorry that we didn’t understand before,” she said, the last sentence filled with meaning. 

I knew she was thinking about something different than I was. I’ve done much worse than what I did at the end of our third year. In all seriousness, it was better she thought of me that way instead of what I really am. 

But what I don’t understand is that Bakugou may have seen the worst of me than anyone else in the class. He didn’t know everything that happened afterward but he knew a bit more since he was there for me even when I didn’t want him to be during that year. Well, almost. He still fucked me over that year too. 

“Are you sure?” I asked tersely. I needed to know if it was him and not her. He would only see me if he wanted me. I wanted to see him a lot but I won’t ever go near him if he told me to stay away forever. 

She planted her shoulder over mine meaning to be reassuring. My body seems to be allergic to kind gestures now because I still felt cold and uncomfortable. “ Yes. Trust me. I know how he is now thanks to plenty of sparring with him and when he means something. He might be mad with you but he really wants to talk to you, “ she told me reassuringly.

This time I took it as truth. After all, I should be thanking her for all the help she’s already done. There was a line given to me to go back to normal. Maybe I could take it. Maybe, I didn’t have to feel scared. 

I hope this meant I could finally talk to him like we used to. Even if I lied about what I needed to if it worked as easily as it did for the rest of my friends then maybe I could do it now. And all of it could be just like a bad dream and he and I could be best friends again.

Chapter Text

Stepping up to the battleground’s out-of-bounds line on this stadium's northern face, the cheers rang in my ears. 

I heard Present Mic scream into the microphone, “Up next is: Eijirou Kirishima versus Nieto Monoma!” The stadium was filled with the surreal sound of a cacophony of screams and cheers.

I smiled and waved at the jumbotron’s camera. I made sure to get in the signature clash of my hardened fists on the camera as they displayed my name near it. The crowd rose up in volume as I did it. I couldn’t help the glee that I got from listening to some sections even chanting my name. Nothing could beat this feeling, huh?

“Remember, listeners! This last game of this festival depends on your voice! Only you are choosing the winner of this match-up! You choose your hero!” The people all started cheering again. 

I saw that Monoma was smiling on the other side of the battleground looking very satisfied with himself. 

I knew the objective of the game was to get a unanimous vote. I had already gained a lot of favor from the crowd from the other matches I’d done before this. Monoma too, but he did it by humiliating them. I watched him use Kaminari’s quirk against him as he used the electricity to make Kaminari run from it in his stupid state after he was overstimulated. Monoma would even make the crowd laugh from the way he made Kaminari dance (keep jumping to avoid lightning hitting his feet). I couldn’t help the feeling I should humiliate him just a bit.

He both stepped forward in the box. He stood as tall as he could. I did the same. I got sort of annoyed at his smug look. Then as soon as Present Mic yelled “Start” I ran towards him. I held a smile on my face though. I was way better than the last time he and I faced off.

He immediately went for evasive maneuvering. I knew he would as he was trying to copy my quirk. So as soon as his pelvis faced my left, I crouched and stuck out my leg to trip him onto the ground face-first. I knew I got him when the crowd erupted again. I hardened my body into Unbreakable as I turned to face him. He got up with a crazed look as he tried to touch me but I just sent fists his way. I wasn’t trying to hit him, just stressed him out. 

Monoma had backed up closer to the out-of-bounds line. I knew he was pissed so I let out a laugh as I kicked him in the stomach. He doubled over and he threw up all over himself. 

“Ewugh.” I avoided the splatter of the green mystery liquid with some chunks. The crowd shared my distaste. I noticed he was watery-eyed. I smiled with pride knowing my movement in my Unbreakable was improved thanks to Bakugou. 

“Hell! No! I’ll destroy you and make you cry in front of everyone”, he yelled defiantly. I laughed a bit as he came running at me again.

“Pretty-” dodge. “Sure-” dodge. “That’s you right now,” I said as I saw him grow red in the face as he leaped at me. I easily moved to the left and punched him in the face as he flew onto the ground. His body made an unflattering flopping sound as he hit the pavement. 

The crowd went “ooh” then started up again. I couldn’t help but rile them up some more. I made the motion of raising my arms up as I heard them get louder. They were eating it up. 

I knew everyone was watching me now but I couldn’t help but want one person to be watching this. It was thanks to him that I was here after all. He would have loved this. 

With my back turned he seemed to think it was the perfect time to tackle me out of bounds. I heard his steps and spun around, gripped his shirt with both my hands and threw him like I was bowling. I staggered from laughing as he rolled three times before stopping.  

Then he looked so desperate with his fraying hair and his dirty uniform. He looked up at me hysterically, “Weak losers from 1-A don’t deserve to win anymore!”

He ran at me as I steadied myself. I still felt pride swell in me for how easy I made this look. I owed Bakugou some spicy udon after this.

I spun my body around his attack and then kicked his nuts. Everyone in the stadium let out a collective wince from the way Monoma fell to his knees mourning his children.

Then I casually pushed him over the line as he started to cry from the pain. The crowd laughed and cheered. I raised my fists in victory while looking at my friends in the stands cheering for me. 

I smiled so wide when Present Mic called for the voting. “Now! Dear listeners! Only cheer for your winner! Who is your hero?”

Cementoss then pointed at Monoma and I could clearly hear the stadium go quiet besides some cheers or laughs. I saw his face turned from a cocky smirk to a grimace. I felt my own heart racing at the moment Cementoss pointed at me. 

Then the stadium cried out for me as I felt myself tearing up a bit at that. There’s no way!

I cheered myself as the crowd started chanting my name. I went along with it and punched the air in tune with their chant.

“Kirishima takes the win! He now goes on to contest the championship match with Todoroki!”

I woke up with a start. I had fallen asleep on the bus stop bench across the street from Dynamight’s impressively large agency. Its black windows with his emblem on it made it hard not to feel intimidated.

There was a little old lady who sat there smiling kindly at me. I gave an awkward smile to her. I looked back to the menacing building again. My anxious leg bounced next to my suitcase that had my suit and papers needed to properly be instituted. 

“You have been here all morning,” she said as I looked at her in surprise, “why is that, sweetie?”

Uh okay. “I wasn’t. I just missed my bus,” I tried. My polite smile didn’t seem to convince her, however.

“Ah. I see. You are in love.” She looked away as if that was the finish of our conversation.

“Uh, no! I’m just worried about a job interview,” I looked slowly up at the skyscraper that my ex-best friend owned. I couldn’t help but feel like an idiot for sleeping on this bench for 4 hours until now.

“Ah, but young men don’t do anything out of the ordinary if they can help it. Only boys in love act like this,” she said in her sweet little voice.

“I really am not-”

There was a bus that came to pick her up. She didn’t say anything else as she got on board. I just let out the rest of my words in a sigh. I chuckled to myself as I remembered my grandmother used to tease me like that. My real grandmother was really from Vietnam. I just couldn’t ever have the money to go visit her. She and some cousins of mine lived there. They were my only family besides my uncle. I wished I could see them again. I wondered how big they were now. We hadn’t seen each other since the holiday season one month before my parents were, well… When my hopes for a normal life ended. Or maybe that was when my quirk came.

“Oi.”

I flinched from the tangent in my head to look up at the infamous Dynamight scowling down at me. His red eyes gave me chills. “Heyyy…” I sounded so awkward that I questioned jumping in front of the bus—not that that would actually do anything.

“Don’t just sit there you idiot! Move your ass!” Bakugou was already turned away and walked into the building like he owned the place. Oh right, he does.

I got up and followed him like an intern. I was suddenly aware of how short he was in front of me. Or- yeah I was the one who changed, not him. I changed a lot, unfortunately. But I wasn’t going to bring any of that up! No sir!

Once we entered the building I was immediately in awe with how sleek and fancy the place looked. Everything had a practical use and that new luxury modern look. The colors were mostly muted with only accents of orange. The amount of black more than white made it way more manly. It honed a lot of one-way tinted windows and the workers there all looked dressed in black vests and suit pants. I felt way out of place with my red “Protein” shirt and my tan cargo shorts. I looked at Bakugou’s costume and noticed that he had some modifications for his suit in comparison to the one I remember but it didn’t shake how cool it looked in my eyes.

We were going through the stretch of the lobby when I noticed a giant mural made with spray paint outside of the building in the opposite corner of where I came in. It was on the side of an Italian restaurant and it had Dynamight posed heroically with explosions behind him. I couldn’t help the pride I felt for being here. Although, I probably got here not for my worth but because I knew him. That sort of doused my fire a bit.

Bakugou didn’t say anything to me as we were in the elevator to get there. I opened my mouth and saw he was texting someone so I closed it and turned away checking the time on my phone. I almost laughed at how old my crappy phone looked like in comparison to his. Luckily I kept my mouth shut. 

Eventually, I walked inside what I had to guess was his main office. The hallway leading to it held pictures, magazine covers, and newspaper articles that all were framed for people to see. We were then surrounded with workers and sidekicks all bustling this way and that as they were working. A small crowd of people formed in front of us as Bakugou stepped only three steps in the room. I felt their glances go to me then him as they started spouting words.

“Dynamight, we need you to sign today’s quota check in thirty minutes!’

“Sir! We have cleaned up the incident in Nara. But the police are asking about the missing deer. They want a signed statement from you.”

“Dynamight, you missed your meeting with Cellophane on his advertisement campaign! Would you like me to schedule?”

“Dynamight! You’re meet and greet with Sakura Middle School is asking for specifications on the book you’d want to read to the kids! Would you rather they choose for you?”

“Sir, we tried to get a hold of the marketing department over the billboards on northern Osaka’s highways but they insist on your presence at the meeting due to caller complaints!”

“Dynamight, is this a villain? Would you like to take him in for questioning?”

“Shuddup! All of you scram! Can’t you see I’m fucking busy,” Bakugou basically screamed at them.

I watched them as quickly as they came, disappear. He trudged off with as much a grimace as I remember from when he was doing English poetry in our third year and Tokoyami pulled out a novel full of it for a presentation. I smiled to myself at the memory.

My smile pertained as I walked into his super manly office as it was designed in the same way the rest of the building was but this building had blast designs for his window and on his doors. I couldn’t help but look at his framed occasions of the best fights he had. My smile was the brightest when I saw even fights from our first school year were displayed as well. I didn’t care if my scar stung a little as I did.

There was the sound of a chair’s wheels as I turned and saw he had sat at his desk waiting for me to sit in one of the two facing his desk. I sat tentatively aware of my large size and the chair. Luckily, I was able to squeeze in. 

He simply stared at me, his fingers intertwined in front of his face. I felt irksome that he didn’t yell at me yet. But I just imagined it like ripping off a band-aid. It was the manlier thing to do. 

“Did Uraraka tell you anything,” I asked. It was safe to know if she helped spread my lie instead of repeating it. After all, I knew it would hurt a lot more to say it to him. 

“She said that it was for us to talk about,” he scowled. He really didn’t seem to want me here. I was tempted almost to leave before I ruined anything else for him. But I wasn’t about to run away from a chance at normalcy. As selfish as that was.

“That’s nice of her.” I wished she wasn’t. 

“All right, fuckhead. You have a hell of a lot of shit to spout so get to it alright? Why the hell did you fucking disappear?” His tone reminded me of the interrogation classes we took in our 2nd year. 

I told him the same lie I told the others. I used my verbal training and executed perfectly. There was no stutter. If there was, that was placed to give him the impression that I was ashamed. If there was a crack at my voice, it was for the allusion of sadness. It hurt even more that he believed it. 

My grandma was in Vietnam. True. She died after being sick. Not really known. My phone didn’t work. True. I had bad reception since I was on a farm the whole time. Lie. Bakugou’s face was stoic but to a trained eye I could see his micro-expressions gave away that he was believing me. He looked so intent in knowing what I had to say. I wish I could’ve told him the truth. But when I finished, something shifted. He was pissed off again. That threw me off my game a bit.

“That’s it?” he asked incredulously. He almost looked annoyed about what he had heard. I mean, I knew he would be mad, but…

“Um… yeah? What else do you want me to say, man,” I made sure to give a hopeless tone. 

“Fuck you. There is no way you were just at a fucking farm in the jungle,” he got up now looking accusatory. What? But he looked like he was believing it a second ago. I felt my nervousness start to harden my fingers. 

“Look, man, it's the truth! I don’t know what you want me to say,” I said, nearing frantic.

“To hell with that! Why the hell did you act so shady when you left? Why did you almost kill that creep in the street the other night? Where the hell did you get that scar?” He barraged me with questions that he must’ve been holding. I felt almost stunned by the force they gave. But I wasn’t taught to stagger. 

“I was just getting money for my ticket to Vietnam! I thought I was in a nightmare that night! I had a lot of those when staying at the farm…” My voice was slightly strained. Hopefully, he took it as hard for me to say not hard for me to lie. 

We were both standing up now. My frame was casting a shadow on him now. Not that it intimidated him. He glared right back at me with his brow threatening to rip a muscle. 

I closed my eyes and took a breath. It hurt to be so mad when I only wanted to hug him and forget the past. I know it was childish. A man should stand his ground. But I couldn’t help the weakness that was stitched in my soul. I heard him walk around his desk to stand in front of me.

I was still holding my regrets in my throat as he grabbed me and yanked me down to be eye to eye. I just stood there. My heart both cried and sang at this moment. The same way I felt when I saw Japan’s sunset after being deployed for four years to a desert.

“Don’t lie to me you piece of shit! I deserve to know the truth after the shit you pulled,” his glare was filled with pain. I felt a flame of rage at his words. How can he say that when he did the same shit to me? 

But it disappeared in a flash when I heard him say, “You just disappeared off the face of the earth! Do you have any idea how fucking freaked out I-” he looked down, “ we were? It didn’t help shit that Aizawa’s ass wouldn't tell us shit. I didn’t even know if you were alive .” The last sentence was with empty rage. 

I know I shouldn’t. It was not right. I  had no right to say what I wanted to right now. But maybe I could do this. I slowly lifted my arms. I wanted him to push me away. To tell me to ‘fuck off’ and disappear like I did before. Tell me to stop being the selfish asshole I was right now asking for normalcy after everything I’ve done. 

He didn’t move as I embraced him. He was frigid. I held his warmth so close to me. His warmth wasn’t like Uraraka or Ashido’s warmth; it turned me sick and cold. He filled my skin with fire. I couldn’t help myself as I buried my face in his hair. I wanted to tell him. I wanted to. I tried to convey it with my hold. He should tell me to run. 

I want him to.

I want to stay.

“Shit. I’m sorry.” That was all I could say. It was the raw and only truth I could tell him. I had said it so rough as I meant it. I wanted him to feel the amount of pain it gave me to do this to him. I tightened my grip slightly as tears threatened to touch his hair. I lifted my head so it wouldn’t.

There was only the feel of the warmth of his back and chest for a second. But I felt his hands slowly wrap around me. His hold tightened. 

I’ll stay. Until you want me gone.

Chapter Text

“Tsuko.” 

He looked up at me. His expression was bored as I entered his office. “Finally,” he groaned as he switched from his lounging position to be formal. 

I tried to refrain from giving away how much I was resisting to topple over. My left leg was shaking from the training I was supposedly having. Felt more like torture, but I can say that I’ve gotten accustomed to the steady pain.

“What do you want now?” I sighed as I said it. I usually get orders from the sergeant directly but today it seemed it wasn't that day. 

“I know you have gotten used to being in this desert. But it's time to take up the mantle. There are other pro heroes coming to cooperate with us in our first attack on ASuA. You and I will be included in this mission. The sergeant would like to tell you the details in person.” His tone was cold. He pertained a stoic face meaning he held no ulterior motives. Or maybe my psychological training was just making me overly examine the situation.

My heart jumped for adrenaline. All my training was finally coming to a close. I felt almost liberated. I held my face in stone as I was trained, however. “Would you like me to go to him now?”

There was a hesitance. His eyes wandered for a second. I saw… worry?

Agent Tsuko opened and then closed his mouth. 

“Sir?” I was surprised to see weakness from him. He was usually guarded with a smirk.

He mumbled out the words, “Before you go to him… I would like to congratulate you on your success. You were the only soldier to pass the intensive training set. The other two had failed. You are lucky to be standing here.” His eyes were sort of clouded. Almost like he rued his next words, “The other two have fallen in their own pursuits to accomplish the mission that will be assigned to you. I just-...

“Don’t want to see another die.” Tsuko finished. He held his own fear on his face. I realised my freedom may be short-lived. Tsuko never showed to even care for me so this interaction felt alien. But I was trained for this. I was ready to defend people like I would a hero. 

“Thank you, sir,” I stated formally. He was the only face I had for the sergeant. He was also the only one that I had a face to my training. I grew to despise being around him. However, I learned my training was necessary for today to happen. I wouldn’t say it. But I was thankful to know Tsuko still had a heartbeat.

I turned and walked out of the office. I relaxed from my military form. I trudged towards the sergeant's office. I walked by glassless windows as I could see the desert of Thawra beyond me. What used to be Otheon’s great desert which homed a special breed of field mice, was now turned into a war ground for other countries’ attempts to stop ASuA’s terrorism. They made sure to leave no survivors to allow for no information to be used against them. So no one really knew what was going on in the cities under ASuA’s control. 

When I had talked to the sergeant, I learned I was in charge of a small militia. I knew he was a man who led men to war and lost with the lines of time on his face. He told me I was their last hope now. As they remained under the radar of the public, there was little they could do to hide such significant losses. I didn’t question anything. I was taught to follow the mission, no matter the cost. I was grimly aware that there was nothing to go back to even if I lived after this. At least I was saving people this way, even if I no longer recognized myself in the mirror.

I slowly let go of him. I wanted to stay in his arms forever but I knew I didn’t deserve that right now. He was still facing the ground as he let go of me as well.

I suddenly felt like I had overstepped my boundaries. Sure he hugged back but- well he must’ve hated me. However, my thoughts were paused.

“All the information you’ll need to know regarding your new job is on my desk. For now, let Yuki help you get instated.” He started to shuffle inside his desk and pulled out a form. He went on his computer typed away and clicked around. I suddenly felt awkward from how we were just hugging and now he was acting like my boss. True, he was, but what kind of interview included hugging?

“Everything is set up. Yuki is the only one who can help you right now. I’ll be busy a lot of the time, so don’t bother me too much, eh?” Bakugou was saying offhandedly. I mulled it over in my head as he stood up not meeting my eyes.

“Hey…” There was a pause. I shouldn’t have opened my mouth. “Am I going to see you again?”

“Of course, you are, idiot. You work for me.” Bakugou tried to sound annoyed but it mostly came out as a rushed whisper.

“Yeah. I mean- duh. But,” I looked down at my clasped hands, “Just you and me?” Man, I was awkward. 

He still didn’t look at me as he focused on his monitor for a second. He sighed and then turned to me. His eyes were filled with an emotion I couldn’t describe. It felt like he was trying to get me to say something or read his mind but both won’t work. He then clicked his tongue and shook his head. “You and I will have personal training sessions. I’ll have to work around my changing schedule so if you aren’t there for the first ten minutes, I’ll-”

“No problem, Bakugou! I’ll be there!” I caught myself shouting. I couldn’t help it if I interrupted him. He filled me with a flame I thought was long forgotten. He wasn’t there for this. This was something he and I had. Before everything. 

He looked up in surprise for a second. Then he quickly changed face. “Well, we will have to keep in contact then. Did your number change or…?” He quirked his brow at me. 

I shook my head sheepishly as I brought out the phone I’d owned for so long. It was a miracle it was still intact.

“You say that shit doesn’t work?” I nodded. There was no reason to keep the old phone other than that my old pictures and contacts were on there. Well as far as he knew. I really know that the phone served as what the government would use to contact me and watch me. I still remember getting called to the Correctional Institution due to me searching for ‘airports near me’. Then I was desperate to escape the camp. None of this he needed to know.

“I’ll get you a new one. I’ll have it tomorrow, alright?” He then made a note of that along with the now mandatory training we would have with each other. 

“How’d you end up number one?” I don’t know why I asked. Maybe a small part of me wanted to stay with him longer. I was missing his hold already. I tried to rub my arms in comfort but was only given the cold touch I got from other people. I guess even I can’t compare to his burning hold.

He looked up at me again. His eyes were searching for something but he seemed to get the hint I wasn’t going to say anything again. “What does that have to do with anything? I was going to ask what you preferred for a phone.” 

“Sorry, I just was wondering how you got that far from popular votes. And I don’t care. I know I’ll be happy with whatever you choose.” I knew I would still keep my old one. After all, if they had figured out that I got a new one, only so much time would come when I would have to go back on base so they could set up their installments on it like they did my old one. Maybe I can avoid getting a third viewer with my texts to Bakugou. 

He scoffed, pushing my old phone back to me. “I destroyed a serial killer villain. He was terrorizing Tokyo for a bit so it was inevitable that my fight would get recorded.” He said plainly. He didn’t seem all that proud of it. I knew the old Bakugou would have been beaming with pride at achieving his dream in a crazy fight. However, the one I saw now looked almost disappointed with his impressive tower. I couldn’t help the jealousy of being relatively poor most of my life springing at the thought of someone complaining about their multi-billion dollar tower. 

“You sound ecstatic about it,” I stated just as dryly. He just huffed in response. I felt a wave of nostalgia for how we talked back in our third year. I couldn’t help the smile that crept on my face from the memory. It made me realize how quickly we fell in line with each other. 

“It was a shitty fight. I had better ones when no one knew shit about it.” He grimaced at the memory. I could relate. Fighting in another country as a secret mission I fought the best I ever did. But it was also the biggest regret of my life. Duality at its finest.

“Dude, leave it to you to have a complaint about achieving your dreams,” I laughed with a shake of my head. His face stayed in his stoic form but I could see the amused glint in his eye.

“Fuck you. It's my dream! If I want my dream to look how I want it, I’m going to make it happen,” he jabbed a thumb in his own direction. 

“Hey, just saying. It isn’t every day you're voted as the number one hero. I say take what you can get! There is no guarantee for your future, so you might not be able to control what happens next time just like this time,” I told him. I felt my words thicken my throat. The inability to control was stronger than when I graduated. I couldn’t do anything but blame myself for that.

“Okay, Dad ,” Bakugou rolled his eyes, “I was able to get it once I can do it again. You used to not question that.” His brow challenged me as he spoke.

I couldn’t help but agree with him. As much as I wanted to argue my point, I couldn't help but smile. “You keep on trying to pick a fight but I’m just happy I’m here with you,” I said it so fully. Truthfully.

It seemed to make him shut up. “Whatever, dumbass…” I heard him mutter as he looked away from me. His pale skin did nothing for his heated cheeks. I wasn’t going to tell him that. I would just drink this up until I was taken from him again.

We sat in silence for a bit as Bakugou worked on his computer and made a few calls. I just leaned back in my chair and watched him or looked out the window behind him or let my eyes wander through the office’s decor. 

I wasn’t sure when but I dozed off. I was still tired from getting here so early. Being near him relaxed me so much I must’ve passed out.

It started off with small things. I almost didn’t notice it. Snide comments from the hallway. I turn and I see no one looking at me. I decided to ignore them. Other times it was gum and trash that was stuffed or stuck to my things. A lot of gum was put in the corners of my locker and sometimes in the handle for full disgust. Other times there were food wrappers stuffed in it or in my bag. 

Then it was heightened. Anonymous notes telling me I was a “coward”, “idiot”, and “fake hero”. I was starting to look around in the halls for any lingering stares. Then there would be someone in a crowded hall tripping me over and disappearing before I could see who it was.

It didn’t help that the Hero Public Safety Commission Project’s meetings have become more stressing on my schedule. I enjoyed them and all that but I had to cut down on my sleep for my daily workout routine. I was starting to get really jittery from the coffee I got in the morning. I also had to do the majority of the work outside of class so I didn’t meet up with my friends for weeks now. I only ever would see them in class and sometimes Bakugou would help me format my work and help with revisions. 

I had gotten my idea for the law change. I was surprised by how much I put into this project. My project was on the quirk doomsday theory and how we can implement better laws for quirk control in children. I had gotten information from online scholarly studies on current education on quirks. I went out of my way to interview two opposing viewpoints on the topic. I couldn’t believe how fast I was typing that day. My fingertips almost hardened from the intensity. 

Still, there was a lot going on even after the Sports Festival. I was still coming in and out of Fatgum’s Agency. I was still doing normal coursework in class 3A, which is arguably already hard. I knew Aizawa warned students about the workload, but unlike other kids in my class, I needed that agency. I knew I could always go into being Fatgum’s sidekick, but if I wanted to start off right, I would need to set up my agency. It was important that I had my own agent and campaign if I wanted to reach high in the rankings. Wash’s ranking was due to that. Unlike Bakugou or Endeavor, I wasn’t flashy enough to get my rankings naturally. I would have to work for it like Wash did. 

One Monday evening, I was in the library with Bakugou going over the normative ethics applied to quirk law. I was trying to figure out the subcategories that were involved in normative ethics. Bakugou was explaining Deontology when Tetsutetsu walked toward our table. I didn’t look up from my notes until Bakugou shoved my head. 

“Hey-” I turned to Bakugou and saw his head tilt forward. 

I look at an anxious-looking Tetsutetsu. I wasn’t sure why but he acted weird with me of late. I was beginning to think he was avoiding me. I guess I was wrong. “Uhh here.” Tetsutetsu passed me an envelope. I looked curiously at the note as I grabbed it. 

“What’s this, man?” I asked as I looked up at him. His gaze looked at his feet.

“I don’t know. Some girl told me to give it to you. Someone in general studies. She has black hair, know her?” He explained fidgeting with his fingers.

“I don’t think so” I trailed off. I opened the envelope addressed to me and my eyes widened at the hearts on it. Is it?

“Is that a fucking love letter,” Bakugou grumbled in disbelief. I gave him a sarcastic look. 

“ No , it's a letter from the zoo,” I chuckled at his glare. I opened the letter. It was sickeningly sweet. A poem was even added about the red of my hair, which matches the color of her love for me. 

I felt it was snatched from my hand as soon as I looked up from it. I looked at him with my brow quirked, “Who was this from again?”

Tetsutetsu shrugged, “I don’t know, man. She just knew I hung around you and gave it to me.”

I heard Bakugou grumble something under his breath as he slammed the paper back on the table. I looked confused at the paper again. “Um, well I’m flattered but I can’t exactly imagine professing my love for someone I don’t know. Maybe you can point her out to me when you see her again so I can talk with her?” It was manly to come to her upfront about how I felt. Crimson Riot always explained that there was a difference between gentlemen and boys. True men treated women with respect. Boys treat women with no respect or care. I would be a man and reject her face-to-face. Privately and politely.

“Sure, see ya.” Tetsutetsu quickly turned away and left as abruptly as he came. 

I just looked at Bakugou with a small laugh. He didn’t share my humor. “Seems like I’m popular,” I said.

He just huffed. “Get back to work. It’s not like that's going anywhere.”

I agreed but I wanted to tease him a bit. “Sure, but who knows? Maybe this will multiply once I’m a hero.”

His scowl deepend. “Of course, it fucking would all heroes deal with that shit.” 

“I dunno. But at least I’ll have options,” I wagged my eyebrows as he pushed my face away.

“Ugh, they must be desperate.” He then did that pout I loved. He slumped in his chair and pretended to go back to his own project. 

“Hmm! Must mean you are going to have to be desperate to get my attention!” I grinned as his face turned red. I assumed rage as he punched my arm. 

I didn’t harden for fear he would hurt himself. He then whisper-yelled, “Like hell, I would be desperate. I’m already getting your attention by just bringing me so fat chance!”

I laughed genuinely as I put my arm around him. “Haha, yeah you’re right! You shine so brightly, it would be hard for me not to notice.” 

The red in his face worsened. I was glad this time it was out of my ability to make him embarrassed. “Fuck you.” I hear him mumble.

It wasn’t hard to go back to work but it was funny seeing Bakugou’s reactions to things like this. It raised wishful thinking in me. Eventually, I put the letter and everything in my bag as we made our way to the dorms to get some workout clothes.

There was no telling what was going to happen with that letter. If I had known maybe I would have avoided it all. 

Chapter Text

The night was a little cold, but I barely felt it. I was always used to the cold. When I was little, my bedding was taken away as punishment a lot of the time. It was better than accidentally hardening when my uncle would try to whack me. His angry look after that would tell me where I was sleeping. At first, I would call for my parents and wish they could take me away from it all. But that never happened. They weren’t there to save me from my own mistakes. 

Still aren’t. I walked up to see my middle school friend, Tomo, just outside of the UA gates. He had only ever called me when it was an emergency, and now we were in different high schools. We haven’t hung out normally since the beginning of 2nd year after the war with the League of Villians or whatever the fuck they called themselves after gaining nation control. Tomo was always nice in his own way. He would only act reserved most of the time but he would sometimes look at me with a smile. I always valued the moments I could help his shoddy life brighten for a moment. 

Now it wasn't any different. Even if we were apart most of the time, I still valued seeing him. However, the problem would never stray that Tomo wasn’t the reserved kid from middle school anymore. I had a tendency to ignore that. It was a bad idea. It was always a bad idea. But I always felt guilty knowing that I could very well be his last line of defense in saving his life.

Tomo stood taller and leaner than the middle school version. He had tattoos all over the sides of his face and arms. I was still bigger than him but I couldn’t help but feel the guilt that came when meeting him. He was smoking as I just stood there. I both wanted to tell him to ‘fuck off’ and greet him. I decided to keep my mouth shut. 

“You look tired. Are they working you like the military now? Not surprised, since they did send your whole class to war as soldiers to die in the front lines,” his voice came out cooly with a puff of smoke.

I started to dread the fact that I already don’t get a lot of sleep these days. I didn’t need to be staying up any longer now. “What do you want, man?”

“You are going with me for a small job,” he stated offhandedly as he flicked the cigarette. His impressively sculpted look marred by tattoos cupping his face. He was good looking but not good as in “office worker” here in Musutafu. I couldn’t lie that he didn’t look badass. 

The bad part I was worried about wasn’t how he looked, though. “Really, man,” I asked, disappointedly strained. 

“What? I thought it was ‘manly’ to help out friends,” he replied, quirking a brow as I was resisting my hardening forehead.

“You know what I meant, man. I’m not stealing again. You know how I feel about that shit,” I grumbled. I managed to avoid being involved with that stuff for a while now but lately Tomo was pressuring me more often. Most of the time he wanted me there as extra protection so I could deflect bullets and fight. But I really didn’t like helping to hurt people.

“Come on, Eijirou. You’re a loyal man. Probably the only guy I trust nowadays. I need you there,” he says determinedly, taking another puff.

I didn’t want to stay. Everything about my life now no longer called to be with Tomo, much less embarking on any of his new ventures. “Dude. I’m not going to do anything to harm my future. Things are finally looking like my dream career is set in stone! I can’t blow that up to steal shit with you,” I whisper-yelled as I was wary of listeners this late at night. 

“What? You’re too good for me, now that you are going to graduate from some fancy ass military school? Not interested in entertaining the plebs,” Tomo snapped. His cold look made my skin prickle. My own anger was let out with slow breaths. 

“Tomo…” I sighed exasperatedly. I could easily see why he’d say that. After all, I used to hate kids having better things than me for a majority of my life. But it was only due to my admiration of Crimson Riot that I kept that to side conversations with Tomo. 

“Don’t act like you are really like them. You’ve stolen, conned, and bet your way to get the money for that school. I helped you get there, remember?” Tomo was nearing me. He was never intimidating to me but how he said it almost felt like a threat. Tomo didn’t even believe I would make it into the school in the first place. A part of me wonders if he is still burned on my Plan B being scrapped. Plan B being to use the money we saved up for school to buy an apartment away from our parents we would live in.

I had to remind myself. Tomo is my friend. He was my best friend before Bakugou. He may not have believed in my dreams but he was there to help me find money for UA. It was a prestigious school so it was reasonable that Tomo doubted my plan. My uncle didn’t fund me for the school’s entrance fees as he never believed in me.

Tomo helped me. He was my friend when little to no one knew me. He was so cool everyone would be too nervous to talk to him. He and I would escape our houses late at night. We would hang out all the time. No beer smell for me. For him? No drugged-out mom trying to rip her own hair off.

When it was just us, it was like we were in charge of our lives. Sometimes we would steal from rich houses to make money for meals and sometimes we’d try smoking and stuff. I never did like it. But I felt free with Tomo. I felt like he was an escape. So I usually did it for him. 

I still remember that park where we would just lay in the grass or try skateboarding. I broke mine on some teenagers' heads back in the day fighting Tomo. I never did find out what that was about. 

And here I was. Protecting him again. Tomo’s job that he oh-so-kindly-volun-told-me-to-be-apart-of was in that same park. I wore a black mask and hoodie like Tomo. There was no stealing today. Tomo was just dealing drugs. The guy he was selling to wasn’t very respectful last time Tomo sold to him. So, here I was in case the guy started shit. 

I felt ashamed as a hero being here. But Tomo was right. No one at school was like me. They didn’t have friends like Tomo. They never had an uncle squander his money in underground betting pools adding to his hard liquor purchases. They never had to help catch their best friend from the second story window from an apartment where Tomo’s mom was threatening to spill boiling oil into his mouth.

No. I didn’t have a good enough upbringing to be as valored as Bakugou or Midoriya. I didn’t have a loving mom to worry about my meals like Midoriya. I didn’t have a kind childhood friend like Tsuyu, instead with one in the Yakuza. I didn’t have an admirable quirk like Todoroki. I didn’t even have true confidence like Bakugou.

But what’s the point of complaining about what I didn’t have if I’ve made such strides in life to be blessed with my dream school and dream career almost on a silver platter? Tomo gave me that. So tonight I’d be whatever he wanted. I owe him everything I have.

Tomo seemed to make an agreement with the guy. The man was twitching. I restrained the thought of disgust. It reminded me of Tomo’s mom. They were someone’s family. They were someone’s baby. That thought made me fear a tear would escape my frozen glare. Wouldn’t be very intimidating.

Eventually, the man would leave in his shabby car as we walked home. Tomo’s backpack is now freed of the incriminating evidence. 

“You’re quiet. Not going to ask who that batch is going to,” he asked, almost making fun of me. He knew my chivalry wouldn’t ever get along with his plans.

“Who.” I didn’t state it much as a question. I had a feeling. 

“Some school party at our old middle school. Heard they are going to experiment,” Tomo chuckled. 

My blood ran cold. Kids? That would ruin their lives having drugs like that. I looked at him with wide eyes knowing he wasn’t lying. Tomo said something like how he did the same as a kid and it’s all in good fun. 

I stayed quiet. Like the coward I am. I never wanted to punch his face as much as I did right now. We had gotten back to UA’s gates just as the sun came up from the horizon. I wasn’t doing this again. Shit, I have a Hero Commission Presentation due tomorrow. I can’t sleep today until everything is done.

Tomo thanked me but I just flipped him off. “Next time you need someone, man. Don’t call me.” I walked back into the school. I smiled at the thought that Bakugou would be proud of me for doing at least that tonight.

My head throbbed as I got up from a bed. I rubbed my eyes carefully for my everlasting fear of having yet another scar from my hardening. Two already. One on my right eye from when I was 3 years old first getting my quirk. One from an atomic bomb splitting my hardening across my face. 

Maybe it only correlates to one scenario but I wasn’t going to not be careful. I drank in the room around me. It looked incredibly rich here. New age technology rooms like this always made me feel like a hillbilly. I can’t even understand how to use an air fryer. 

That made me realize I wasn’t in my bed. I instantly hardened and got up from the bed. I got in a stance ready to kill. I slowed my grating lungs. My head was foggy but I was trained to fight in worse conditions. And I did fight. Not to toot my own horn or anything. I took a few steps on the tile that was quiet enough you wouldn’t think that I was over 200 pounds (even heavier when I hardened, although sort of embarrassing).

I heard nothing as I reached for the door of the room. It was now that it opened abruptly from the outside of the door. I immediately lunged at the person out of instinct as my hand gripped their hands and I pushed them to the wall holding their hands over their head. I heard a grunt from the assailant as they collided with the wall. 

“Motherfuck- oi! Let me go, you dumbass!” The familiar voice that I could smell the breath of coffee yelled at me. It was accompanied by threatening pops from the palms I was holding. Even with my foggy head, I could recognize that smell of burnt caramel anywhere.

I looked down at his grimacing face. My heart came to life again as I felt my cold blood turn warm as my body softened. The popping stopped as I gazed at the red eyes that held the power of the sun in them. I felt the warmth of my blood spreading to my face. 

His eyes weren’t inviting. He seemed to be disgusted by me. His blonde tufts of hair made me resist a smile. I missed their feeling against my rough fingers. I would never taint the softness of him with my sullied hands. I started to mourn the feel of his hair now.

“Oi! Focus! Let me go!” That caused me to look at his hands again as I saw blood draw from my fingertips. I quickly pulled away causing me to crash into the doorframe splintering the wood as my back was still hardened. 

I felt clarity as I looked down as Bakugou dropped his hands to inspect the damage. He was mumbling curses as he glanced from his hands to my chest. He stalked off the hallway and turned into what sounded like a bathroom as I heard the sink run.

I focused on calming down. I always had trouble with this part. I was always taught to be on the defensive. Nothing like softening my body to prevent damage ever came up in training. I took slow gulps of air as I closed my eyes just thinking about my breathing because I knew it’s harder to stop my quirk when stressing about the broken door frame. I felt guilty as hell but I knew the only way to prevent another form of property damage was to put my thoughts aside for a moment.

Sorry . After I seemed to center myself, I heard steps return my attention to open my eyes. I saw his face look calculating. I knew he was thinking hard with the small crease of his brow to what others thought looked like the same frozen angry look he held. I could tell the micro-expressions of him. It eased my thoughts, reminding myself I did this before my training for it. I read Bakugou as well as breathing sometimes. Sure I couldn’t read his mind but I’ve always been able to tell his emotions even if he didn’t show much other than anger. I used to pride myself on the ability to read his emotions pretty well. Doing it now felt surreal but it was a welcome intrusion to my backwards life right now.

“Wanna tell me what the hell was that?” Bakugou said to me slightly impatiently. I looked up at his frame, finally noticing his black wife-beater and his low-hanging gray sweatpants. My eyes noticed a bit of his boxers and skin exposed a bit on his hip. I quickly looked at the muscles on his arms and his manly face. I stuck it in my memory as I looked at his slippers. 

Shit. “Where am I?” I remembered being in his office not too long ago. How did I get here?

“This is my apartment, idiot. Now what the hell happened with you, ah?” He asked as I looked at his bandaged hands. 

“Sorry. I tend to be jumpy when waking up.” I winced at the bad lie. I know I could have done better but I didn’t have the energy right now. I walked closer to him and inspected his hands. I realized his hands were smaller than mine. They were also older than I remembered. Those hands were the same I held onto to save his life when we were kids. I mourned looking at the age in our hands now. More manly and rough but man how I wished I wasn’t looking at the damage I inflicted on him with those same dangerous hands holding them. 

“I’m fine! You just freaked the fuck out earlier,” he semi-shouted as he pulled his hands away. I couldn’t help the demoralization of my thought that I deserved this. This sinking feeling in rejection. I don’t deserve his warmth. I know that. 

“Sorry, man. You’re right, I don’t know why the hell I did that.” I said as I turned from him. I wanted to sleep again. 

“Whatever. Do you normally sleep for a full day, too,” he questioned as he walked down the hall. I followed him and saw just how nice the apartment was. I guess there really are reasons to go for number one. It was only necessities that you notice first but this was definitely a smart home. I saw no light switches and there was fancy art on the walls that demonstrated the emblem or colors of his costume and there was a design similar to his office building here. It was no surprise that Bakugou’s agency was the same way here as it was there. Simply put, very clean and cool.

I only just registered what he said. “A whole day?” I gawked. 

“Well, yeah. I was considering taking your wallet to take some cash to pay for your prolonged stay,” he grumbled as he went into his huge kitchen. My thoughts connected it to when I watched Hell’s Kitchen on a local Chinese restaurant’s TV with Tomo. My smile faltered thinking of him again. 

Bakugou seemed to leave his comment in the air. My familiar joking mood was gone. Shit. I ruin things for everyone. All the time. I lay back on his couch. My thoughts spiraled to when Tomo let me stay over at his place when his mom was gone. Tomo was my best friend too. He was the only person in the world that gave a damn about me at that point in my life. He knew me as the loser I am and still hung around. Even when I made strides in my dreams he made sure to keep contact with me. And where was I? Leaving the life I had for the thought of something better. Including him. He didn’t get those same opportunities. No, instead he had the shit-end of the stick that would only lead to his lowest point. His life got worse instead of better. 

I heard Bakugou answer a work call over some scheduling inconvenience. So I took it upon myself to leave some cash for his trouble and left the place. I found my way back home with my phone and a cab. I didn’t deserve this life. I didn’t. Tomo would have been better off saving that money instead of wasting it like me. 

“Agent Tsuko, your date of birth?” I heard a man say to Tsuko as the door to his office was slightly open. I paused entering. Usually, his briefing of my battalion’s progress would be right around now. However, it seems he had other things to tend to.

“Tomorrow, sir. My birthday is tomorrow. I’ll be 28.” I heard Tsuko say. 

“So young!” The man chuckled to himself

I left the office. I didn’t realize Tsuko would be so young. He was always too mature in his mannerisms and speech. I grew to look up to him with our work in training for meeting ASuA in Thawra. I was growing impatient with the deadline but I wanted to know the cost of war. I felt the need to fight growing more and more every day. The number of deaths in the simulation tests I’ve taken was staggering. They bred me to be the enemy that the opposition told legends about. I wasn’t a killer but I started to feel the instability of one. 

I was familiar with war as a teen. My whole class was. But now I have no friends here. Now I had nobody to comfort me. My memories couldn’t bring warmth when they only haunted me with the mistakes riddled in them. I was beginning to think I was the mistake. Every time.

I went out to the mailroom to check. I had to. I had sent one last letter to Bakugou in hopes he would answer knowing it was my last one. When I entered the small room with a tired small mutant broom man. He didn’t look at me when I walked in because I was sure I was the only one sending these out. 

I was about to leave at his failure to change the face, but he then pulled out an envelope. I quickly snatched it from him and spun away. My heart moved again in anticipation after what felt like months. I had gotten to my room and needle bed as I finally dared to look at the contents of the envelope. But that made my glee disappear.

There was only Tomo’s name on here. Addressed from Taurtarus’ Maximum Security Prison. 

I ripped apart the letter. I yelled and cursed as I punched the walls and kicked the cement. I was destroying the wall in my hardened state when I heard the familiar gas creep into the room to put me asleep. I didn’t fight it. I always slept the best when under the influence. 

Chapter Text

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. It was a quiet classroom as everyone in the study hall was working diligently. It felt weird not studying with Bakugou but he was busy interviewing for his subject outside of my class. I was ahead of Bakugou in this project now. I couldn’t help but feel my pride swell from it. I stopped typing out my paragraph before opening my phone. 

The first message I got in what felt like a year from Tetsutetsu. I opened it with him saying only, “This is her number” with a phone number in blue. I was surprised by how dry it was. It felt like there was something I did to the guy. He was always acting weird around me. I even caught him talking shit about me in the class 1B classroom. I would have stood up to him but I had a test to go to that time. I felt the urge to mimic Bakugou and just say “fuck you” but I couldn’t help the guilt in thinking like that. 

Other kids gave me looks too. Some would be nasty, few were pitiful. I noticed them whispering but I had nothing to question as there was too much to do nowadays. Go to the gym. Push myself to get bigger. Eat something. Shower. Study. Go to class. Work with Bakugou. Work on my project on every free period. Lunch is eaten while I work. Do hero training. Work on quirk training after class. Go to study meetings. Go to the Hero Reconstruction Project meetings and workshops. Eat a ton of food to bulk for my quirk and sleep late after showering. 

I couldn’t even talk with friends anymore now. Bakugou I would see the most as he is doing the same project as me and he is very helpful when studying but sometimes our schedules clash like today. Kaminari and Sero would text but they knew I was busy. Mina would almost never see me unless she could help me with my work, which wasn’t often at all. But none of them would ask me to walk away from what I am so clearly working hard for. They are great friends and I plan to hang out with them all the time when I graduate. Tetsutetsu wasn’t the same it seemed. 

I reread the text and remembered what I promised I would do. I sighed as I asked to be excused from the class. I could have used the extra credit but I knew it was manly to get it done now. As I was walking down the hall, it was empty so I rummaged through my bag till I found the crumbled love letter that I got in the library with Bakugou the other day. There was no way that girl still thought these things in this sappy letter. Still, I had to be the man I aspired to be and confront her about it. 

I texted her telling her my name and that I wanted to talk to her about the letter in the courtyard right now. I walked out to the courtyard as the bell rang signifying the lunch period started. I chose a spot more secluded from the crowd as I knew I would be rejecting her so I wanted her to have the peace of knowing she wouldn’t be publicly embarrassed. I was surprised that she texted back saying “I’ll be there!” along with a beating heart emoji. 

I felt kind of bad looking at the text but it would be more understandable to just be upfront about it instead of just playing with her feelings. Then she came. She was an alternative girl with sleepy eyes and floaty hair. She wasn’t wearing a uniform and was super pretty. I noticed her awkward glances as she looked at the letter in my hand. 

“Um… Hi.” She said in a monotone voice as she waved lazily. 

“You wrote this, right?” I tried to smile as I lifted up the letter for her to grab. She didn’t touch it. 

“Yeah, so?” She snapped. I was confused by her tone. She didn’t seem very happy talking to her supposed crush

“Well… I wanted to say that I’m flattered by your letter but I’m already interested in someone. You seem like a great girl but I can’t say I share the same feelings as you if I’m not well-versed with you, you know? Sorry if I disappointed you,” I rambled a bit. I felt guilty with my words so I only stared at the grass around my shoe. 

I heard a sniffle as I looked up in shock. Guilt overcame me as her head was lowered. Then she gripped the front of my uniform and bore her gaze into mine. Her black eyes lit up with stars as she screamed something at me. I couldn’t hear her as everything around me sounded like it was underwater. Then I closed my eyes as I held my head to try and regain my senses. 

I couldn’t open them until the sound came back and I saw there were a ton of students looking at me in disgust and anger as they avoided me like the plague as I walked in the main courtyard. The girl was gone. My head still felt weird so I just decided to continue on to grab a bite to eat and then go to Recovery Lady. After grabbing my lunch, however, my friends weren’t at the table we usually sat. I looked around and saw they weren’t in the lunchroom. I realized that maybe they were already in class so I ate by myself and headed to Recovery Lady. 

I told her I was probably hit by a stunning quirk and she agreed but she mostly was just nagging me about the fact I was physically exhausted. She kissed me to temporarily make me feel better but she decided that I should have some vitamins too. I walked into class and grinned at my friends. They just looked at me with avoidant gazes or even turned away from me. I couldn’t ask as Present Mic started his lecture but I still couldn’t help but wonder what was going on. 

I tapped Kaminari’s shoulder and he simply smiled and nodded quickly when I asked if everything was okay. Then I decided to let it go as I needed to pay attention to keep my grades up. 

I rummaged through my backpack and felt something wet and squishy inside. I quickly looked and saw there was someone’s lunch dumped in my bag. I groaned and asked Present Mic for a pass to the bathroom. I felt my hands harden from the frustration as I stalked out of the class. This prankster was elusive when it came to ruining my day. But now it was getting pretty fucking annoying to pull this shit while I’m at the busiest time of my high school years. 

I was pushing through the crowded hall when someone tripped me over. My stuff flew all over the floor as my face hardened before smacking the floor. There was laughing as I huffed and whipped around to see people whispering, laughing, and pointing. I heard some girl say an offhanded comment of “what a fucking loser” as she walked by and the traffic of the hall continued like I was just a median on a road. 

I felt an old feeling of embarrassment and anger. The same feeling I got when I was bullied for acting like a hero in middle school. I felt naked somehow picking all my things that were cold, wet, and smelly and shoveling them back into my bag.

The hall emptied as I heard some steps approaching me from behind. They came to my side and helped pick up the last of it. 

“What the hell happened?” I looked up at Bakugou as we both stood up. 

I felt embarrassed enough but Bakugou seeing or knowing about what happened would make him ashamed. I acted so unmanly. All of this wasn’t me. It was who I was. And I would never show Bakugou that disgusting part of my life. He deserved the best.

“Nothing, man! Just dropped my lunch and stuff all over. See ya later, man,” I laughed him off as I quickly left to the farthest restroom from class to clean my bag interior. I was glad Bakugou didn’t follow.

I was given my new phone by Bakugou’s sidekick Yuki. She was like his personal assistant as she reminded me a lot of Burnin’ back when Endeavor was still working his agency. I didn’t see Bakugou all day as I was told to run errands around the agency. I felt stupid wearing my new hero costume when all I was doing was getting Post-It notes for different offices in different levels of the Dynamight Agency tower. 

The more I was working the more I was distracted from my later meeting with Bakugou so it was annoying that I was hardening randomly. I learned this always happened when I was anxious. I was never good at stopping that though. 

Eventually, after failing to avoid destroying a mug I was holding Yuki yelled at me to leave the meeting as I was only a distraction. I just left the building in frustration as I left the tower and sat on the same bench across the road that I had when I first visited this place. I was starting to wonder why I was even trying to play the hero. Of course, I wanted to stay for Bakugou but damn… I leaned back on the bench lifting my elbow to cover my closed eyes from the light. I let out a sigh with the bridge of my nose in the crook of my elbow. Whenever I close my eyes I’m still back in Thawra, holding bodies dripping with blood. 

“Hello there again,” an old friendly voice came to me from my right as my eyes were closed.

I opened them and I saw the same lady I saw when I was last on this bench. “Oh, shit,” I said to myself in almost disbelief. 

“Trouble in paradise, boy?” She sat next to me as I sighed. 

“This isn’t paradise in the slightest,” I said feeling dull. The bus came and she said her goodbye as she went in. When the bus was gone I stared up at the great tower in front of me that imposed the future I didn’t belong in. There was a text on my new phone. 

“Turn in your new phone for inspection. - SSJ” was all it was. I groaned. How the hell did the government know about my new phone already? I just got the damn thing this morning. I was tempted to text back a middle finger but instead asked for a date to come in. Luckily, it wasn’t till next week. Still, pissed me off knowing I can’t do shit without an office of people reading what I ate for lunch. 

I sat on that bench till I was requested to come inside again. I didn’t talk to Yuki. I felt my familiar stoic attitude come back from my years of service. I followed her instructions diligently as I waited for my training with Bakugou at the end of the day. After a surprised Yuki let me go, I got a text from Bakugou telling me to meet in his quirk training facility.

Inside was similar to the quirk training that I did in high school. I almost laughed knowing the shit I had to do in war was much more drastic than this. He was already there exploding small flying targets with precision shots. My bitter mood could hold back my admiration for his skills. He was impressive even as we grew old. 

I knew there was a thick layer in the air but I promised I’d be here. He did too. But I knew if he said the word I’d disappear again. 

“So what am I here for boss?” I tried to joke. The bitter taste in my mouth didn’t help.

Bakugou turned to me and ignored my comment. His glare met me as he stepped forward. “Where the hell did you go yesterday?” 

There was no tiptoeing around Bakugou. I felt like a doe struck by a bullet. I knew there was no retreat. “I went home,” I stated dumbly. I didn’t really want to lie about something stupid like that. There was no reason to try anyway.

“Shut up asshole! Do you think you can just pay me and disappear when I’m not looking like the dick you are? Do I look like a fucking prostitute to you or some shit?” he semi-shouted with his pissed-off look. I felt guilt swim at his double meaning to that question. I chose to ignore it. 

“Sorry, man. I wrecked up your house and slept there for a day. I wasn’t exactly a good guest, man.” I stated miserably as I turned to look at a wall. This shit was awful. 

“Sorry, my ass! I brought you there because something is wrong with you! You act erratically and it pisses me off the way you’re avoiding shit. So screw me for giving a damn! I mean, who the fuck sleeps a whole ass day and walks away like their embarrassed about that shit? Are you fucking sick or something?” He shouted as he waved his arms around in his small rant. I felt my heart hurt knowing he was worried. Knowing I couldn’t explain it.

I couldn’t give him the answer he deserved or needed. I couldn’t give him peace of mind. I knew he wanted to fight me. His palms popped with his explosion quirk as he heaved. I let my gaze admire how much he has grown. It was surreal to me being in front of him after 4 years of imagining him. He was not too different from high school but small changes that only someone who stared at him a lot could tell. His bulk was thicker, his face more sculpted, his jawline more defined, his hair trimmed more to perfection…

My heart pumped blood in my ears. “Fight me,” I said almost breathless. 

He seemed surprised at my words. I felt myself smile. “What?” He asked.

“Fight me.” I hardened my body. I tried to relive the thoughts I had sparring him in high school instead of when I last hardened in combat. Bakugou would change my thoughts. He was always good at consuming them.

His shock changed to a defiant stance for battle. I knew this wasn’t what he wanted. But I wanted him to get something out of me. If it meant this then so be it. 

I lunged first. I surprised him as I punched him in the gut. He was shocked by the hit but quickly recovered and sent a blast meant to push me back. He wasn’t aware of how much I had changed though. I wasn’t moved by his blast and attacked again. I punched his chest this time and he hit his back to a wall. His smile changed to one that was menacing as he rose to the challenge finding I was not the same as I was in high school. It felt exhilarating as we sweat and I felt like a match to him. My muscles felt naturally hardened like I was finally letting go of anger. He was doing the same as his grimace turned to more of a smile that resembled a little kid again. There was no kid in that smile as we both realized how we both changed in our fighting. 

I was laughing and smiling at one point and the realization that his blasts did nothing to me now. His evasiveness allowed more hits at me. My hits were doing more damage. As I let myself play muscle memory, though, there were more aggressive hits that I threw. I started to notice ways I could hit him that could immobilize him. His knee could have been kicked in there. His eyes are distracted I could elbow the side of his head. There I could see an opening for the neck! I could rip it ou-

I felt myself go Unbreakable as an old rage mixed with new that fused to hurt him. Then I lunged at him. Surprisingly, he didn’t come forward like he would normally. Instead, he blasted away from me. I yelled in frustration. Coward.

Then I started to feel myself shaking. I was struggling as I willed myself to stop. Bakugou’s eyes were looking at me incredulously. I heard myself groan as I fell to my knees and I hardened my fingers into the cement under me. I needed to stop. Not him. I can’t hurt him. I can’t do this in front of him.

I started to calm down as I heard his boots click as he walked over to me. “Shit, man. You must’ve been practicing because holy shit,” he laughed in disbelief, “that was impressive. Farm work does you good, huh?” 

I couldn’t share his humor as I steeled myself to normalcy. Did he not notice my whole freakout? I leveled my breathing as I got up. 

After that, I was saved by the bell as Bakugou had gotten an alert for a nearby villain. He seemed happy with my performance not knowing he just invoked hell in me. I was so close to hurting him. I went to bed exhausted that night. It was so hard to do this shit after all I’ve done, man.

Watching the young men wrestle in the mud made me wish it were me instead in there. I was supposed to be overseeing them as they were my squadron. They were tough but they weren’t trained like me. I could tell from their sloppy movements and their lack of grit. They weren’t acting like anything was really on the line. It felt more like they were feeling sorry for joining the fight.

I ignored their complaints and worked them to the bone when they were under my charge. It wasn’t like my training but I couldn’t help but make them work at least as hard as I did in high school. I mean come on. I was in a war as a kid at least there were older adults than me who actually signed up for this. They could at least act like they want to be here. 

There was a chuckle from my left. I knew he was here it just pissed me off he was only here to get in my way. Agent Tsuko was standing as my supporting officer in working with the new recruits but I knew there was something that was keeping here. His motive wasn’t as clear as the shit-eating grin he was wearing now. 

Irritably, I asked, “What the fuck do you want now?”

Tsuko looked at me. “You know I’m supposed to be here, right? You can’t get rid of me like you did your little high school friends.” 

I whipped in his direction and gripped his uniform collar as rage spiked. “Talk to me like that again and I’ll-!”

“Oh, I know! I know,” He exclaimed generally unfazed, “I had to study you while you underwent training. I know better than anyone what a monster you are.”

My mind finally caught up with me as I set Tsuko down. I wasn’t able to make the hardening in my hand go away. I was losing my grip. I didn’t know how long until I couldn’t think straight anymore and hurt aimlessly. The worst part was I was starting to not care as much and that really caused my chest to feel not big enough to capture enough air to live.

After a pause, Tsuko started up again more timid, however. “Can I ask you something… off the record?”

I looked down at him in subtle surprise. Tsuko’s change in demeanor was never something I could get used to. He wasn’t looking at me. “Sure.” Was all I said. 

“Did you want to be anything before this? I mean, I know you were in a hero school and all but what kind of hero?”

I didn’t look at Tsuko now. I kept my face trained at the mention of my old school. We were both watching the next pair of guys wrestle in the slouching mud. Slowly, I answered, “A strong one. A chivalrous manly one.”

There was a pause. I shifted my weight uncomfortably. I was never ashamed of saying that in high school but now I felt like I was that scrawny coward from middle school talking about dreams that were out of reach. I could feel Tsuko’s eyes on me. I kept my gaze forward, my face stony. 

“I wanted to be a hero too, you know.”

I whipped my head towards him in shock at his words. My mouth hung open looking at the timid look Tsuko wore. I never knew he was capable of feeling other than nonchalance and boredom. I constantly compared his attitude to Monoma but much more toned down. I wouldn’t ever compare the two again. That was an insult to Tsuko.

Tsuko continued, “I went to a hero school as a general studies student before ending up here. I obviously didn’t make it…” He crossed his arms looking down.

I let my resilience slip and smiled at him. “You would have made one hell of a hero, man.” My arm lightly punched his shoulder which made Agent Tsuko wince and roll his shoulder.

“Ahh, ow! What was that for?” He laughed a bit.

I chuckled at his pain. I felt like myself again for a bit there. “Focus, soldier.”

Tsuko was my friend after that. I was used to hating him because of his actions copying someone who ruined my life. But finding out Tsuko wasn’t Monoma was the best thing for me in the war, I think. Being with him wasn’t like when I was a kid, but I felt like myself around him instead of the monster I was changed to be. I spent a lot of time joking and drinking off hours until we were finally sent towards death.

Chapter Text

Something was going on and I wasn’t sure I could ignore it anymore. Even with my busy schedule, I couldn’t avoid the stares either with ire or disgust everywhere I went. I felt myself getting sick of the stares and whispers. I even saw familiar faces in my classroom. They all were aware of some rumour I’m sure. I was just trying to focus on my work and now this.

It wasn’t just this but Tomo was in touch with me about how his new friends want him to join a gang and how he was conflicted about it right now. Tomo didn’t explicitly tell me but I could see he was conflicted when he kept asking shit like “is that fucked up?” or “would arrest me for doing that shit?”. I knew there was something wrong. I just felt like shit that I didn’t have time to just go see him. The texting was only consoling him so much. 

I was just trying to reevaluate my 20-page essay on my Hero Reconstruction Project. There were a lot of typos so going through it during my study period was a must. I hated doing all this work but I felt it was better than confronting why even my friends were giving me odd looks. Unfortunately, Todoroki didn’t seem to get I wasn’t interested in socializing right now.

“Kirishima, can I ask you something?” he asked clearly. I noticed other conversations around us dwindled and eyes glanced at us. 

I hesitated but relented. “Uh, yeah. Make it quick, okay? I got homework to do, man.” I didn’t mean to sound too strained, but I guess my lack of sleep was starting to show in more than just my eyes.

He only looked at his feet as he said, “I’ve never seen your parents at any of the school events that were held in UA. I was led to believe that… well.” He trailed off. Todoroki was obviously uncomfortable with the conversation he started. 

Not as much as I was as I noticed Bakugou and some of the squad were listening to our conversation. I felt embarrassed at the thought that they would learn I was an orphan. Then what next? I tell them how they died. They would ask you to know that. 

My heart pounded as I hardened my left hand off and on to relieve the growing panic. There was a sudden movement as Ashido came near us with that heroic determination I remember from middle school. She said, “Todoroki! I told you already! I saw him with his dad before! I went to middle school with him. Kirishima was taken out of school with that guy several times that must’ve been his dad. And I remember Kirishima’s mom calling him in middle school because his grandfather passed away that day! His parents are very much alive, thank you very much!” 

I was sort of shocked at what she said. That was impossible. My father was dead. I watched him get shot. Was she talking about my uncle? My mother? No, that day my great aunt in Vietnam called me about that. Ashido thought I had parents, huh? But wait.

“Where is this coming from?,” I asked incredulously. “Why are you asking?”

Guilt ran across her face as she shied away from my question. Todoroki answered, though. “It’s just we’ve never seen your parents here in UA. And I heard-”

“Nothing! He heard nothing! He was just curious!” Mina shouted and tried to push him out of the way. I tasted copper as now the rest of the class was paying attention to us. I kind of wanted to punch their noses in. Why did they care so much? I felt that same impossible anger as when I was left out of rumors spread about me in middle school. 

“No, fuck this! I’m not going to bitch about it. Some shithead said you killed your parents when you were a kid and that’s why this shitty class is acting like pussies around you,” Bakugou suddenly came up from his seat and yelled from across a few desks.

My blood ran cold. I felt dread pull me into gravitation. I wanted to shout and scream that whoever said that was a lying bastard. But… Were they really wrong? I didn’t do anything but watch them die that night. I’m no victim like those cops claimed. I could ricochet bullets if I really wanted to. Some would argue that I couldn’t do that type of quirk control at that age. But I’ve seen news and articles showing kids having the capability to have that sort of quirk strength when in dire moments of their lives. Was that not dire enough? Was I more concerned about saving my own life than theirs?

 I wasn’t sure how anyone knew about it. I was only informed that Aizawa Sensei was the only staff that knew of it. I glanced toward Shinsou. Would Aizawa tell him? No. He wasn’t legally allowed to spread information like that, right? My fluctuation with my hardening was getting harder to soften. My body felt cold and my head was rapidly torturing me with a newfound beating headache.

“But we know that isn’t true, Kirishima! Mina told us about your parents, so it's okay! We know it was just some nasty rumor that spread. You’d never do that,” I heard Midoriya try to say as my breathing started to slowly be harder to calm down. 

“You’re our friend, man! I guess we just didn’t know how to ask you about your parents’ recent relationship with you since UA started without bringing up that nasty rumor. That’s all Todoroki is trying to confirm, you know,” Sero added, nervously.

“Ashido has already trumped any ideas of the rumor being true, Kirishima. I’m sorry that you had to hear of something so disgusting about you. We simply want to know if everything was okay at home,” Iida tried to say to make me feel better. It didn’t work.

They all thought so highly of me. I couldn’t tell them it was the truth. I thought I could avoid my past and revel in this new me. And here it is again. Ruining anything I thought I could build anew. A mansion built on the rotting corpses of my parents. A mansion I was starting to realize is undeserved.

“Oi, look at me.”

I looked up at Bakugou as the class tried to reassure me about my home in class. I tried to lie to them. Tell them they’re right. Tell them that you’re who they imagine you to be, not the ugly truth that no one loves. If they knew the ugliest part of you, they would leave you. You aren’t like Aoyama. You weren’t forced to do anything for fear of death. You were just a selfish coward. 

“You don’t have to tell us shit about your home, alright? We know that shit isn’t true so you don’t have to explain shit. We just want to know if you’re okay,” Bakugou’s red eyes reminded me of the care that went into those words. He didn’t know. He couldn’t know the truth.

“I’m sorry.” That was all I said as tears stung my eyes. I couldn’t let them see it. They can’t see it. This isn’t what I want them to see. I ran out of the class as fast as I could. I forgot my bag, but I couldn’t stay. I heard a couple of them call out to me, but I didn’t turn around. I ran out of the halls and into the courtyard where more people were giving me the look I deserved. Everyone knew the truth about me.

Instead of sprinting out to my dorm, I ran out of the school gates. I ran and ran. Ugly and choking sobs came from me as I clung to life gasping for air. My feet felt like they were floating as the stain of my training and running disappeared with adrenaline. Every step weighed my body to hit the ground from the ventured streets I’ve come to know in my years at UA. I ran to a taxi service and barely managed to get the address to the driver. He was concerned but kept to himself.

I felt my phone buzz as I was in the car. I lifted the phone to see the texts on my home screen. They were asking if I was okay. If they said something wrong. Saying sorry. I turned it off. I can’t do anything. They already know. They’ll hate me soon enough.

I got to the door and knocked. I didn’t even know if he was home. I was an idiot. I should’ve texted him. 

The door opened to interrupt my mind. I saw a glimpse of him before I lunged at him and clung to him as I sobbed. I just let out my wails as he hesitantly pulled me into the small apartment. I felt him pull me off. 

“Go up there. I’ll meet you in a second,” was all Tomo said. I knew what he meant immediately. I did this for so many occasions in middle school. I went to the small patio of the apartment and climbed up the ladder that led to the roof. There was a tree planted up there that never was taken down by the landlord as he was often too busy caring for more luxurious apartment complexes he owned. Tomo’s mom and him planted this tree when he was little and now it is huge. I lied back on the roof in the shade of the tree as I waited. 

I cried for what felt like hours until the sun was setting. Tomo eventually showed up with a cigarette in his lips as he lied back as well. I ran out of tears by now. My phone stopped buzzing too. I was more aware of the roofing tile stabbing my back now.

“So what is it? Those assholes figure out you aren’t living in a penthouse like them?” Tomo took a drag as he asked. His nonchalance couldn’t hide his worried brow however. 

“They found out, man. They found out about my folks. They know now,” I said in defeat. I was so careful. So worried they’d find out for so long and there it was. A nightmare came true.

“They hate you because you have problems? Fucking hypocrites if you ask me. Isn’t that Todoroki kid in your class,” Tomo asked as he blew out smoke. 

“I don’t know what to do, man.” I tried to get my head straight but all I could do was see their faces as they questioned and assured me. They knew it. They all knew it.

Tomo suddenly huffed as he got up. He started to go down as he said, “Come on. We are heading out.” 

I didn’t argue. I followed him to his car. I didn’t care where we were going. I just wanted to stop thinking about Bakugou. I didn’t even realize I left my phone on the roof that day either.

It was hard to control the aggression. I’ve found out that getting pissed at things was a constant for me. When I was in Thawra I was meant to be mad all the time. No one gave a shit about my behavior and my quirk seizing up back then. I was supposed to be inhuman. Here when I get pissed at spilled coffee I have to resist destroying things around me and going Unbreakable. Here I have to be worried if my quirk would give nightmares instead of purposefully making evil men shit their pants at the sight of my silhouette.

I did sidekick work most of the day. I avoided going out when there were smaller crimes that needed people. They’d ask me every time. They wanted to know why Bakugou was personally training with me since he was their boss. Some were super interested in what my quirk was. I didn’t make many friends in the office when I would walk away from them mid-conversation.

My training with Bakugou was the hardest part of my day. I know I couldn’t hide my anger from him or training. I couldn’t show him that my quirk was too strong. He’s already seen a lot of shitty parts of me. I couldn’t let him see any more. Not to mention it was illegal for anyone to find out about my military service. They would find out. They always did. I tried to keep myself in line. Especially knowing they’d come after him. Or worse, what if they made me kill him?

“Why are you sweating your ass off sitting down?,” I heard Bakugou say as he walked into the specialized quirk training room. Training here was both nostalgic and unsettling. My mind couldn’t choose to be happy here with my best friend or be scared I’d hurt him like so many.

“I don’t know what you're talking about,” I feigned innocence as if I couldn’t feel the cold sweat sticking to the back of my neck.

“I wish I could do that shit. I could explode an island if I sweat like you,” Bakugou poked as he sat on the bench near me.

I just laughed a bit before feeling like he was too close to me. I thought it was dangerous to let someone get too close. Did that come after the special ops or during? I couldn’t tell. Bakugou was taking off some equipment as I said I wanted to tone it down the other day but he was less than happy with that idea. After the first day, I wanted to learn to control my anger and quirk connection. At least that’s what I thought it was. I’m starting to believe I can’t get upset without acting like I’m going to kill someone with my quirk.

“You know you’re a lot more quiet than I remember you to be,” Bakugou said as he strapped his boot. I looked down. He was right. I didn't know if it was the lack of small talk in war or the fact I had to lie with every breath about myself. 

“Nah, really? I feel like we are pretty much the same!” I laughed at my weak attempt at covering up my lies. I wasn't using my training on him. Only when it was necessary. This wasn’t necessary, right?

“I’m not playing around, idiot! You used to talk my ear off about random dumb shit that you thought of. Now you look like you’re in an interrogation room every time I talk to you. What’s with you?,” Bakugou said, obviously not matching my humor. He wasn’t too mad though. His soft crease of his brow and lowered voice gave more of a caring frustration if anything. Though I’m not sure if it made sense to call someone’s expression that. 

“I didn’t think anything was off…” I looked between my clasped hands and his eyes. My voice was less than manly saying this shit. Bakugou huffed as he got to buckling his other shoe.

“Deku told me your ass couldn’t have been in Vietnam. He told me some shithead terrorist from some shitty country called Thawra near Otheon was caught sneaking bombs over at the Narita Airport! And he said that guy was looking for you,” Bakugou said accusingly. I felt my hair stand up. My hands hardened at his words. 

“What?” I basically spat at him. I felt anger boil in me. The thought of them coming to my country to kill me made me feel the bloodlust I felt back then. My body felt hot as my blood burned from the fight I’d known almost like second nature.

Bakugou seemed slightly shocked at my change of tone. He seemed to take that as him getting somewhere with me and continued. “Yeah, came here saying it was revenge or some shit.”

I tried to keep a level head. There was no way there was anyone left. A couple of stragglers isn’t anything I couldn’t handle. I took slow and hopefully discrete breaths. “It’s not what you think,” I grumbled. It wasn’t exactly the truth or a lie so I went with it. 

“Bullshit! Why the hell is a fucking terrorist with no papers to his name after you? You don’t think Deku would tell me that shit?” He asked, trying to corner me. It felt like whenever I gave him an inch he pounced on every opportunity to give me a headache. I groaned trying to move around him. If what he was saying was true, I was going to find out myself.

He stepped in front of me. I tried to go left and he moved in front of me again. “Stop that,” I tried to keep my anger down. He didn’t listen as I turned to my right again, he took another step closer to block me. His pissed-off look was the same one I was wearing now. 

“Hell, no. Where the hell do you think you’re going anyway? Huh, shitty hair?” Bakugou prodded. I knew this guy was strong but this was pissing me off. There was a general tense air as I stopped trying and glared at him. I was mostly focused on not hardening to attack him. I wasn’t the same as before. Younger me probably would have taken this as a joke. I wasn’t laughing if that bastard from Thawra still had some dumbass cronies trying to get back at me.

“Move,” I growled as my hardening reached my throat. That grating voice sounded like crushing metal with my voice adding a message. I thought to myself I sounded kind of like Optimus Prime when I hardened my voice. That helped ease my consciousness instead of how that was the last voice those bastards in Thawra heard before they were killed. 

Bakugou could never know that though. His face looked confused for a second. “Hold on. The fuck?” He said mostly to himself as I felt his gloved hands touch my hardening chest. I felt my rage dwindle at his sudden movements. I instead felt embarrassment climbing. What the hell is happening?

“What are you doing,” my grating voice sounded less intimidating as his hands were feeling me up where some of my chest was hardened and some wasn’t. Blood rushed up to my face as I was thrown for a loop. 

“That! How the hell are you doing that?” Bakugou yanked me downward. I grunted as I was now face-to-face with him. He was so close that my eyes took up the view like I was starving for it. I only felt more embarrassed about how he must have noticed my eyes looking at his lips. Shit, what the hell am I doing. 

“Wha-”

“Open your mouth,” Bakugou said like he was talking about the weather. 

“Uhhh, excuse me?” My voice still grating. Was I hardening from the embarrassment now?

“I said open your mouth!” He yelled as he pried open my jaws to reveal my sharp teeth. I was thankful that I had mint gum earlier in the day. I felt so stupid. Was Bakugou practicing dentistry? No, that's stupid. Control your hardening, idiot! You could hurt him! I tried to stop my hardening. It was to no avail as there was no way to take a deep breath with Bakugou’s nose dangerously close to my teeth. 

“What the fuck?” Bakugou seemed taken aback as he finally let go of my face. I finally made my hardening go away with slow breaths of freedom. Did I mention I always hated the dentist?

“What the-? What was that for?” I questioned as I watched Bakugou’s mind think hard on something. I rubbed my fingers to test if they were soft. Good. I’m safe. 

“How are you hardening your throat?” Bakugou asked. His face was still calculating.

“Uhh…” I just hardened my arm as he looked at me. I felt dumb.

“No. You could only do that to your skin before. Now you can harden inside your body?” Bakugou looked at me for answers. I felt confused. I couldn’t harden my insides in high school? No, wait. I could a little but only when Unbreakable. Oh, shit. I first hardened in my body when I was-

“I was bored in Vietnam! I mean working at a farm isn’t fun work! Fighting off intruders was common though! I’m sure the guy that was after me was some man that I fought off the property,” I tried to laugh him off. It didn’t work as he was just confused now. I took that as an escape as I quickly added, “Anyway I should probably check what that was all about! Uh, see you later, man!” And with that, I dashed out of the room before he could stop me. I felt bad but there were more important things that were on my mind.

I dialed Midoriya’s number. There was only one ring before he picked it up. 

“Kirishima? Why are you calling? You’re lucky I just got out of work,” I heard him chuckle along with shuffling on the other side. I assume he was walking right now.

“I need to talk to you. Now.” I tried to keep my voice level but tense.

“Uh yeah. Okay, sure. Where at?” Midoriya’s confusion was palpable.

“Wherever you put that goddamn ASS shitbag!” I yelled into the phone. My anger hardened my hands and I cracked the screen. So much for a new phone.

“What? Who?” Was what I heard Midoriya say. I was too busy trying to reel myself. 

“Shit, I’ll just see you at UA.” I hung up quickly. I’d call a taxi. Those fuckers better stay out of my life. Or else I’ll remind them who I am.

Chapter Text

I had never been in a helicopter crash before today. I guess I can’t be surprised they would shoot us down. I was looking at the wreckage as I wondered if the pilot had survived. I was the distraction after all. I looked on at the city that was corrupted by the ASuA. I was finally in Thawra.

This city was one of the core cities overrun with these terrorists. Oftentimes these men would kill anyone who opposed them. Thawra may have been a small country but the population isn’t known with the mass killings and the split from Otheon twenty years ago. The city was run down. The place had unlivable buildings, but I could see people filter to and fro the properties. I was starting to question how I would identify the terrorists. There was no obvious aggression and or weapons. 

I infiltrated the city. Other than my height, I was unnoticed by people with the clothes wrapped around me. The town was busy with little to no children or women in sight. There were reports from drones that they were seen to be taken away from their fathers to their own institutions for the men to exploit them. What was said on that file made sure I would feel no remorse fighting these villains. 

There was no need to hurt anyone not involved. I just needed to get to the base of this city and find a direct path for my hero team in. I walked on the dirt street for a few minutes before I started to notice more and more armed men. I eyed their guns. I had to remember types of firearms to know which ones could penetrate my skin when I was in high school. Now I don't worry about that anymore.

There were a few men eyeing me. I tried to cover my face up a little more. I cursed myself for my size. As my cloth turned the corners of my eyes dark, I caught the sight of the city’s base past a couple of shabby buildings northwest of me. I tried my best to look inconspicuous as I turned that direction. The shift of the dirt under my feet is all I heard as I stalked closer to the building. I saw a lot of militant looking men walk in and out of it. 

Once I made it to the building, I noticed I was facing the back end of it. I caught sight of a slightly open door and slipped through. I hardened in case of an attack but none came as I was surrounded with poorly packaged food. I could smell some rotting meat in there. I realized this is where they were hiding the food from citizens. There were no vendors in the streets. It’s not like they’d really want to eat this overripe shit anyway.

I went through a couple of halls. There were so many rooms I was trying to map out on my GPS for my squadron. I hardened, entered, searched, exited, and repeated it to every room. I was surprised at how empty it was. Eventually I could hear men on the other side of one room that had large doors. The bullet holes in the sandy cement walls around it made the doors feel less regal though. 

I could hear their language they’d made just for Thawra. I learned the language for the best ways to eliminate them. I felt sick when I was first learning it. Now, I was glad I worked on such an unpleasant subject. 

I translated what they said to “I need the men out there to know their father is going to get sick. His heart is not as strong as he makes it out to be.” 

There was another gruff voice that responded, “Don’t you dare speak of the father that way! You want your head on a spike, boy?”

There was a panic and then I slammed in the room and took two long strides before slamming my fist against his face. Thawra people have never seen me until now. I heard rips from my clothes as my hardened figure didn’t hold back from the punches I gave the man. He went down with only two hits as his men were frantic. I blocked their exit as the men had pulled out guns.

Their bullets ricochet off of me as I easily attacked. I knocked the men out cold before their escape. I stared at the men at my feet and felt something stir in me. These men were monsters. They defiled women and children for pleasure. They aren’t like the average villains in Osaka. My hardened hand reached out as my mind buzzed. I lightly grazed my fingertip against the man’s cheek as I watched blood trail it. 

I realized then I could kill him. There was no one watching. I could rid the world of these bastards and no one would be aware of it… My eyes bore into the blood as I felt a rush of odd pleasure. I sliced another cut. It was like slicing warm butter. I did it again and again. My mind started to zone in on the blood. The red covers the sweat, grim, and tears. The red covers his eyes, mouth, and ears. His face was unrecognizable with some muscle exposed. The body stirred in agony as I shut his screams with a slice on his throat. 

The buzzing in my head was interrupted as Agent Tsuko came into the room with a few of the squad men trailing him. “Hey!” I felt a boot kick my head. I jolted and stood up so I towered over all of them.

“What the hell are you doing? We went in off of your GPS tracker because you weren’t communicating with us! You were supposed to sneak us in!” Tsuko yelled at me as a soldier inspected the men. 

I avoided Tsuko’s gaze as I myself was trying to remember what I was doing. I remember anger and blood. Tsuko was still complaining as I looked out a glassless window. Then I saw one of our armored trucks come in so we could properly take over the city's base. My eyes bounced up to something moving behind them though. Another few trucks were after them. 

I ignored the retching I heard and Tsuko’s protests as I ran out the window and sprinted in full hardening. My mind focused on destroying the truck. Bullets bounced off of me as I came into view. My militia’s truck exploded in front of me as I sprinted to stop its attacker. A man with a rocket launcher was laughing as he stuck out his body from the ASuA truck’s passenger window. Heat and smoke fuelled by a straight path as the blood of my comrades’ blood rained down on me. Metal shards and boiling blood draped over my Unbreakable form. I took the engine’s hit with my arms formed in an ‘x’ form. The truck came to an immediate stop. The engine exploded on impact from the speed of 90 mph already pushing it on the desert sand. 

I felt my metallic voice gargle a laugh as I watched the man holding the rocket launcher flung off to the side with his leg gone. His screams of agony should be shared with the men that he killed. I stalked out of the wreckage towards him. He tried to flee as his screams grew desperate. I felt my mind was quick to remind me that every breath he took was ones he stole from the men from our squadron. I stepped on his torso as he screamed. I could feel the small snaps of his ribs. I felt satisfaction ring from his pain.

The blood pouring out of the man had held my focus like before. “When men die, did they always bleed this much or was it the cowards that were quick to die?” My metallic voice from my hardened throat came. I pushed my foot down farther.

The man coughed out blood as some more men attacked. My heartbeat slowed as I remembered a similar body of Ms. Midnight dead in the same pose as the man I watched under my foot. My body started to soften for a second but the sound of shots hitting my back as three more trucks with ASuA’s symbols on their flags surrounded me in the street. With the destroyed trucks covering my exit, I attacked. I instead started to knock them out. I was focused on knocking them out now. 

No. I can’t be that monster. I’m a hero. I’m not a villain. 

I swung blows carefully now. I realized it took up more time this way. But these men seemed terrified from the look of me and the fact that these men couldn’t shoot bullets effectively at me. I heard more trucks pull in as I fought them. I was quick in my Unbreakable form now but not quick enough. I heard gunshots ring out from the base instead of near me. I then knocked them all unconscious as quickly as I could before running to the base. I didn’t hear any more shots ring out.

Tsuko. No. No. 

I round the corner of the entrance and see my men either escaping in a chopper or on the ground. I fight the remaining ASuA’s men. Before I knock out the last one that was leading the bunch, I freeze recognizing him. He was one of the men inside the base room that I knocked out earlier. His broken teeth smile came from my frozen expression. I hit him harder than I did before. I was sure to have cracked his skull this time.

I started to pick up the squadron’s bodies who were alive and who weren’t. My feet felt heavy as I pressed for an escape chopper on my belt. I helped evacuate some men and women as I was looking for Agent Tsuko. Then I saw him pulling two men out of the base as he shot back at the reinforcements of the ASuA. I ran to cover him. I helped push him toward the ladder for the chopper. They put down two stretchers for the injured. Tsuko was strapping them in as I started to barricade the giant door knowing I’d collected all the remains and people I could. There were yells from the other side. I ran across the clearing in the base to catch the ladder before it flew off. I looked up at the ladder that was wafted by the wind. There were a few shots that came at us but nothing reached us as we got higher. 

I climbed up the ladder with ease. This wasn’t the first time I did this. I watched my hardened hands grasp the steps of the ladder. Each time I’m confronted with the blood of the men I was supposed to protect in that truck earlier. My mind travelled with the red streaks. Red paint. Red dye. Red hands. Red blood. Red face. Red hearts. Red fire. Red explosions. Red knuckles. Red hair. Red eyes. Red Riot.

“-Hey!” I was shaken out of my stupor as I realized I was in the chopper now. Tsuko was looking down at me with scratches on his concerned face. 

I sat up. Luckily everyone else in the chopper was too busy tending to the wounded or being wounded. Or dead. I stared at the body of a man I recruited days ago into my Special Ops squadron. He said he had kids to make proud. I said I would protect him. I was told to help my squadron and protect them.

“How many of our 81 are up?” I asked. I seemed to have cut off Tusko trying to talk to me. I didn’t even realize I was cutting out the sound around me. 

There was a pause. Then Tsuko’s cold tone returned as when I was first recruited. “There are only 47 of us up, sir.”

I stayed quiet as I stared at the man from earlier. Tsuko stopped trying to reach me. When we got to our camp, I destroyed my room and started to cumbled the walls with my repeated punches. Then gas came into the room again to put me down. My body was starting to get reliant on the gas to sleep with how many times I resisted the urge to strangle something.

I was really bad at keeping promises

“Their advantage with the quirk-cancelling bullets is what got us in the end, sir. We were fine until Agent Kirishima was distracted,” one of the men at the table bitched. I was leaning on the further end of the wall away from the battle table. I glared at the floor. It’s been a week of my rampages. I was close to killing two of my feeders because I mistaked them as ASuA. Feeders meaning specialized people to feed me went I couldn’t control myself. I was starting to let myself let go more often. It felt better that way.

“He was the only one that did anything to help us. He took down the majority of the men there,” Tsuko defended me as he glared at the opposing agent. 

The general then leaned forward in the end seat of the table. The glowing map on the table further illuminated his face. “Agent Kirishima did more than that.” 

The general waved a hand at another agent that pressed a few buttons before the display in front of them changed to showcase a video. The video had translated subtitles I didn’t need but I assumed it was for the less informed in the room. The screen displayed camera footage of the men that Kirishima got the drop on the first raid. My body was covered by the camera placed behind a chair. My face being sprayed by the blood I tore into the face of one of the three men. Looking at it from this angle it was almost like I was trying to taste it. The narrator on the video was speaking Thawra’s language. The subtitles said as this clip played, “This footage is real footage of the monster attacking our country of peace.”

I watched as the video flipped to another view of me coming through the wreckage of the Special Ops truck to attack the men in the truck. From that angle, it looked like I destroyed it myself and was coming for a second kill. The narrator continued, “Here, we see the monster kills everything in sight. He just destroyed one of his terrorist group’s war vehicles filled with quirk scum just to kill our peacekeeping men. Notice him covered in the blood of his friends and his stained smile.” My hands hardened a bit at that. I grit my teeth.

The next clip was bodycam footage of a man injured and pleading for his life. My mind froze at the familiar sound. The man was the rocket launcher shooter from the ASuA truck. “Here we hear one of our men praying to Taghyirr for savior from the monster,” the narrator starts. I step closer to the holographic screen. I see myself coming over and stepping on the man to crush him under my hardened foot. My specialized boot made to form with my foot made me look beyond comparable to a human. I couldn’t even recognize myself with the blood and metal all over me in Unbreakable form. Then the narrator incorrectly translated my words by saying, “As he kills our brother, he says” - the audio in Japanese was hard to hear but you can hear the sound of my metallic voice. The narrator and the subtitles share the same message from Thawra to Japanese. The subtitles frame the words to me as ‘I plan to kill Thawra’s innocents with my quirk. Taghyirr will die for his wretched peace’. 

I felt myself resist the growing rage from their interpretations of my words. The narrator then switched to a screen of freeze frame photos of me in my Unbreakable covered in blood along with bloodied victims or remains of them. Some of them I don’t even recognize from the fight. They were framing me for the deaths they did now? My hardening spread on my arms as the narrator said, “If you the people fear him, know Taghyirr will protect you from the crimson death of these freak killers.”

The video ended with ASuA’s symbol as I zoned in on the symbol even as the video froze at its end. I tried looking away but I couldn’t. This was the symbol that I would be fighting. This is what I’ll destroy.

I heard a shift in the room as everyone focused again. The general continued from earlier, “This video was not only broadcasted here but in Otheon as well. I believe it is Taghyirr’s way of trying to get more people to side with his Change of Red regime. Because of this, other countries are already seeing the video leaked in other countries. Japan is safely under control. No one at home has infiltrated this video as we had men work on it immediately.”

My eyes bore into the red flag. ASuA, or ASS(es) nicknamed by some of the men here, was going to be burned in my memory. It's okay though. It's not like my vault of memories amounted to shit anyway. If it were a painting, it would be trash and vomit thrown onto a canvas. Even if anyone at home saw me like that, it wouldn’t change how they see me. Scum not worth their time. The men around me seemed to discuss it for a moment.

“However,” the general cut in, “We can use this.” Everyone stilled at that. The general turned to me now and said, “Agent Kirishima. This operation is now named Operation Crimson Death. Your new name under our military will be this as well. We will instill fear in them. You will continue the good work as we back you up. You may leave this briefing until more is determined.” 

I finally looked at the man. His serious face held no joke. I still felt the need to rip out his mouth though. I wasn’t sure why. Did I ever understand it though? Agent Tsuko stood up.

“Sir!” Tsuko started before the general stood up as well to silence him. The general looked at me. I took that as my leave as I left the room.

From then on I wasn’t even considered a human to the military but a project. I knew I was starting to act less human too. It was harder to think rationally. I would barely think about the past. Sometimes I swore most days they were feeding me raw meat instead of real food. The worst part was I was starting to like it.

Most of my thoughts were on how to survive and protect the remainder of my men. Then I realized if it weren’t for my mercy on the men in the first room, I would’ve been able to save my soldiers. So I concluded that killing ASuA soldiers wasn’t like killing villains. These were men who reveled in the fact they were never stopped from their destruction. I would be ending monsters by becoming one.

I was always a monster. Red blood streamed from my knuckles. I won’t hide anymore. A limp body was under my hands. Maybe I freeze because I kill instead of protect. The body was a coward with black hair. I wasn’t loved for a reason. That boy was gone. I was a coward. Eijirou Kirishima is dead.

I’m not a hero. I’m not even a man. 

Chapter Text

I slammed open the door in the police station. I was lucky to have used the metal door, but that did little to save it from the dent in the wall. I ignored it though as I stepped up to the police chief. Midoriya was close behind me as I came in. I tried to keep myself as level as possible. Midoriya was already suspicious. He had only led me here for more information from me. I would just ignore him if I had to. I wasn’t about to care about his investigation when mine was much more urgent.

The police chief for a second reached for where his gun would be. Almost like it was muscle memory when he jumped. I felt guilt wash over me for a second. The chief then spoke up, noticing Midoriya behind me, “What’s this?” 

“Sorry, for the intrusion, Yuge,” Midoriya said informally. I didn’t realize Midoiya was friendly with Tokyo’s main district chief of police. It was nice to hear that Modoriya was still his old friendly self even after all this time. That didn’t help my sour mood much though. Midoriya continued, “My friend here seems to know your suspect from Thawra. He is a pro hero as well so he is requesting that he questions the suspect.”

The chief looked at me with a scrutinizing glare. He wasn’t intimidating in the least. I held my form. The same rigid and imposing frame that was in my military class photo. The chief relented and said, “Alright. You can’t understand a word he says, though. The guy speaks a fake language or something.”

He gets up and leads us towards the ASuA scum. I kept myself calm with slow breaths. Hopefully unnoticeable for Midoriya’s observations. I was both amazed and scared by him. I was especially nervous that he might see through me. I may be a pro at lying now, but he was a pro at finding weaknesses since he was a kid. I feel like it was only a matter of time till he understands what I’m hiding. Maybe I should avoid him after this.

Midoriya was up to step with the chief, and they had a small greeting. I could see Midoriya’s politeness reek off of him. I almost forgot about politeness after the war. It's not like I bowed to every ASuA I fought though. We got to an interrogation room. I felt my heart quicken.

There were a few cameras in the room and I could see a man in there. There was a police officer drinking coffee watching the three screens displaying the terrorist. There was also a one-sided see-through mirror. I knew there was a microphone though. I could just speak in Thawran when interrogating to get the information just to myself.

I stood in front of the door to the interrogation room expectantly. Midoriya was whispering to the chief guy as I was evaluating the situation. I knew he didn’t trust me. This seemed sketchy. I needed to come up with a better lie. A lie that can better cover up my pile of lies. I watched as Midoriya came up to me. I could tell with that small strain in his eyes he seemed disingenuous. I was starting to remember the faces he made thanks to my training. Everyone is similar but different when lying. Sure there were odd cases but I was taught to learn their mannerisms. I made sure to hold my form so there was no falter in my words. 

“So,” I said firmly, “can I talk to him?” My heart pumped my ears knowing one of those killers was just past this door. 

Midoriya looked wary as he said, “Since the police chief doesn’t really know you, he asked if I could sit with you. I’m not sure why you want to talk to him so badly. I mean, apparently, he speaks a language that can’t be taught online. Or even online! They are calling in a specialist with a quirk that could help translate. There isn’t any point going in there when you can’t understand him or ask questions.” He looked at me with confusion infusing his features.

I step to open the door. “Don’t worry about that. I’ll tell you what he says.” The door swung open despite being a large metal door. The ASuA man looked up at me and I watched his eyes widen, recognizing me. I knew he had heard of me but now I know he has seen me before. I could use this. I stayed standing in front of the table where the man’s arms are strapped to the table center. They were quirk canceling cuffs but I knew that these men didn’t have quirks. The man stayed quiet staring at me. I felt my brow cringe from pain from how long I’ve been holding this face. Midoriya stood to my left as he looked in between the ASS and I. 

Midoriya broke the silence as he asked the man in Japanese, “What is your name?” And then repeated it in English. 

The man looked at Midoriya with a slightly furrowed brow. Then I said in Thawran, “What is your name?”

The man and Midoriya were stunned before the man answered with a thick throat, “I am a Saved Child.” His pride seeped through his Thawran tongue. I scowled at the familiar response.

Midoriya looked in between the man and me. I sighed and said in Japanese, “He said his name is Mendan.” I just named off a man I killed at Thawra. I only heard his name as his friends clung to his lifeless body. I didn’t realize that once you kill a man and know his name, it is tattooed on your skull as punishment.

I continued in Thawran, “You aren’t saved near me,” my voice laced with venom. I didn’t harden my throat though. “What are you doing here?”

The ASuA guy just smiled at my threat. “I know you, monster. The Crimson Death believes he is strong but he is a weed hiding in the garden,” he said as he lay back slightly even with his wrists bound. He glanced at Midoriya with a dirty smile.

I felt like I was doused in flames as I resisted my bloody history. Midoriya then said, “What did you ask? What did he say?”

I said rushed, “I asked why he came. He said he was after m- my house. In Vietnam.” Shit, I almost slipped. I was too focused on the man’s every move.

“Your house? But he came from Thawra I thought.” Midoriya prodded me.

“I traded with him there. We got into a disagreement. He thinks I owe him money,” I said quickly. I tried to steel myself. I need to focus. Don’t kill him.

“You can try to hide. But we are coming. In the name of the Father, Taghyirr, you will be brought down, monster,” the Thawran man threatened gleefully. When saying his leader’s name, the ASS looked up to the ceiling lights not caring if it blinded him. He was too busy muttering a prayer that came whenever his leader was mentioned.

A chill went up my spine as I watched him. There shouldn’t be any followers left since Taghyirr was gone. It’s literally in their religion to believe Taghyirr was the one and only living god amongst them. I guess some men can’t abandon a lost cause. Then Midoriya spoke up again. “Is he praying? What is going on? Why would he want your grandmother’s farm?” Midoriya had a sort of hero analysis face as he looked between me and the Thawran. I didn’t realize just how pissed off his questions were starting to make me.

I focused my gaze on the man as I answered, “He said something about location. Either way, I thought we finished this feud years ago but now he’s here. I know these guys hold huge grudges but this is ridiculous!” I even feigned exasperation looking at the Thawran. The ASuA man finished his prayer and then smiled at me again.

“The Crimson Death looks more human than I remember,” said the man laughing to himself. I felt my hands harden. My skull screamed in thumping pain as I felt there were icy stabs to my back before I hardened that too. I was lucky to be wearing my hero suit because I would have ripped my normal clothes instantly to shreds. I hardened my face. I watched as the man’s smile disappeared.

Using the Thawran tongue, I roared in my hardened voice, “ Test me and you’ll end up another stain on my hands along with all of your weak friends! ” I slammed my hardened fists on the table. The table split as the man yelped pathetically. My smile creaked as I watched his demeanor change to the men I killed. The way they weep after doing so much evil. Disgusting.

“Kirishima! Stop! What are you doing?” I heard Midoriya try to pull my arm back but then I heard him suddenly suck his teeth in pain. I didn’t turn toward him as I continued, “ Tell me why you’re here and I’ll consider your life. ” I stepped forward, crushing the table’s pieces to further its splinters. The man’s hands were bound as I watched him struggle to get up. 

“Please! Let me live Crimson Death! I beg you! You know he wants you dead! The father threatened my life! I can’t fail,” the Thawran spouted quickly. His desperation showed as he tried to pull his bound hands off of the table’s pieces as I imposed over him. 

I raised my foot letting out a guttural laugh. The laugh was inhuman and froze everyone watching. I could crush his head. He was so small and weak like the rest of those bastards. I was made to kill him.

I heard a quick shift as Midorya stood over the man. “Stop! Kirishima, you can’t hurt him!” Midoriya’s voice strained as he yelled. His arms stretched out like he was going to stop me. His hands shook with blood but there was no fear in the determined look Midoriya held.

At first, I felt the thought of killing him to get to the ASuA member but then immediately repulsed at the idea even crossing my mind. I took a guilty step back as I said in Japanese, trying to regain myself, “I was just trying to scare him.” My hardening disappeared. As I swiftly turned around to walk out, I could hear Midoriya apologizing to the ASuA man as the embers of my hate were ashamedly doused.

As I walked out of the building, I pulled out my military phone and scrolled till I found the agent that dealt with this scenario. I was always sort of embarrassed calling in for a clean-up situation but I knew I had to call in. At least, I’ll know the satisfaction of the ASuA man being taken out of my country if my office came here. Then after I explained the report in slightly technical language so it wouldn’t be clear to the passersby officers in the station, I heard the door open behind me. 

Midoriya came to my side. “When you said you were protecting your grandmother’s farm, I didn’t think it meant making enemies over borders,” I heard him joke with a small chuckle at his own thoughts of bewilderment. I quickly ended the call, knowing I explained plenty. They will visit this station tonight. 

“A successful farm in the jungles of Vietnam, without enemies? Ha! That’s a laugh.” I tried a smile that felt way too foreign to my face as of now.

“I can see you're pretty serious about that farm… but, no offense, but was all,” he paused as he gestured toward the building, “that… necessary?” He looked at me carefully and sort of tense. I felt myself walk up as I used my training again.

“Sorry, you had to see that. I had to scare off those guys from the farm to make sure the farm stayed safe when I left. I guess I did a pretty good job if they are coming here to try to kill me first then take it for themselves after,” I said sort of awkwardly. Of course that was on purpose. No more slip-ups. This anger shit is a problem.

“Yeesh, I didn’t know working on a farm could be that exciting,” Midoriya laughed. He seemed relieved with my answer. I was both glad and sour that my training worked. 

“You have no idea-“As I was finishing my sentence, an extremely loud rev of an engine came. I saw Midoriya flinch. My hands slightly hardened. We watched as Bakugou’s, obviously modified, sleek black Porsche pulled up to us. Just to be a prick, he revved it again. Now louder this time, Midoriya jumped with a small and slightly pathetic sound escapes him. I didn’t react that time.

Bakugou walked out of the car with a change of clothes. He was wearing a black shirt and baggy pants. The only notable accessory is his golden necklace with a small ruby-red dragon charm on it. His clothes weren’t as grunge as his voice though. “Want to tell me what the fuck happened in there or does Izuku?” His voice cleared my senses. I didn’t know I found it calming before now. 

Midoriya looked between us awkwardly. We both were stubborn but I relented. “I’ll tell you. But why are you here?” I watched as Bakugou seemed more tense as he thought of a response. His jaw always did that little thing where it would jut out a bit as he thought hard. That made my serious face hard to hold.

Midoriya answered instead, “He must have been worried about you, Kirishima-AH!” Midoriya was being choked out by Bakugou as I heard angry curses being thrown in the green-haired man’s ear. Midoriya was trying for mercy claiming ‘I was just trying to help!’ There was a struggle for a second and I almost feared they would fall over. But then Midoriya poked Bakugou in his stomach hard, which made Bakugou loosen. With a pathetic yelp from Bakugou, Midoriya escaped. He was smiling weakly as he caught his breath now a few more feet away from Bakugou. Bakugou grumbled and huffed as he rubbed a sore rib from the ending poke. 

I didn’t realize the smile that came from watching them. This brotherly display was so foreign to me but so fun to see. To think they hated each other once. Midoriya was trying to fix his mess of seaweed hair and Bakugou tugged his shirt to let cool air hit his stomach. They had a familiarity I wish I had with Bakugou again. But now…

I turn to walk away from them. I’d somehow get a ride home or maybe walk. I don’t have much free cash after spending extra money to get here quickly. It was honestly embarrassing how I was acting earlier but I knew I had to make sure the ASuA wouldn’t send anything my way. 

“Oi! Where the hell do you think you’re going,” I heard Bakugou yell as he trudged over to me. I barely turned around before he yanked my arm to stop. I thankfully resisted the urge for self-defense. His grimace looked as if he was wondering a way to discreetly hide my body. A lesser man would be terrified but I knew I was worse.

“Home. Don’t worry about it, man.” It’s not like I can’t walk home. I’ve traversed through a desert for two days because I lost contact with my operator. Walking home was nothing. Besides, I knew Bakugou just wanted to poke me further into the pit of lies I’ve compiled with him. I try to turn away again.

I was pulled again. “Wait, damn it! Just…” Bakugou looked around as if trying to look around his thoughts to find the perfect idea. “Come with me. I’m off work.”

For a second I wanted to resist, but I relented. I wanted to see what was holding up the blonde’s thoughts. I’d like to imagine he was worried about me like what Midoriya said but realistically he must be tired of my spontaneous actions and is tired of me. Still, it’s nice to think like that.

“See you guys! I’m just glad- wait…” Midoriya stopped mid-sentence looking disturbed as I got in the passenger seat of the car. “Kacchan! I thought you hated anyone in the front sea-” Midoriya was cut off again Bakugou slammed my car door for me. I had never been in a car this nice so I was much too distracted to care what Midoriya was on about. I even had half a thought to take a selfie in this car but refrained because of the scar on my face. 

Bakugou seemed to say a few things to Midoriya as they said bye. I couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous of their friendship. I wanted to be close to Bakugou like we were young. We had nice moments but more awkward than anything. Maybe rebuilding a relationship ruins the good memories. Maybe I’m just too different after the war. That really scared me. I was just too war torn to be happy anymore. I really hoped not. 

Bakugou then got in the car and turned up the Bluetooth stereo as he drove off. I took that as he didn’t want to talk so I just opened my new phone as we were on the road. I shifted my legs uncomfortably as I realized I was too big for this foot space. The baggy pants of my hero suit made my bulky legs look fat as hell. I felt like it too with how cramped I was. I didn’t know how to reverse the seat but I didn’t know if that was rude either. I figured out it was rude on an airplane ride before. Or was that just for the angry old men behind me? Or angry men altogether? 

I didn’t realize I was staring at him until Bakugou was pissed off enough to speak up. “Got something you want to say to me, idiot?” He glances between me and the road. I shift my legs uncomfortably as I try to think of a way to bring up my discomfort. Bakugou doesn’t say a word as he reaches between my thighs and I freeze up. My face goes red as my mind belongs in hell. I watched as he undid a lock. Then he focused on the road again as my heart settled. If I wanted any reassurance that I was still gay there it was. I bullied myself in my head for letting an old crush on my best friend relive for a moment. Didn’t happen then and won’t happen now.

Bakugou then pressed a button on the dash that reversed my seat all the way back until it couldn’t anymore. My legs felt way better but my knees were still sticking up. I was still thankful though. “Thanks,” was all I said with a smile.

Then I heard him say something with a grimace. “I hate that you’re quiet now.” He didn’t look at me that time. Being a true driver keeping his eyes on the road. I was glad he didn’t. He would see my shameful face adorned with the scar that marked my involvement in deaths done in a horrific war. The worst thing is that it was me that made the war horrible in the first place. Sorry, Bakugou, but there’s a reason you hate me now. I’m not Kirishima anymore. I’m something much worse than a coward. A killer.

I was with Tomo still wiping my face from the tears shed earlier in the day. Now as the sun came down, I found myself wanting to get out of my head. To run away from my thoughts. Tomo brought me to a bad part of town now owning what I could only assume as a stolen motorcycle. It wasn’t anything too flashy but it still peeved me he was comfortable with me seeing this. Although, he usually didn’t care for my opinion.

My eyes felt like they were going to bleed. I rubbed them carefully still fearing I would tear my skin again next to my already scarred face. Then Tomo came to a stop. He got off of the bike and I followed suit. 

We were in a dirty alleyway which was rare these days. He then pulls off the bike some dark clothes and even a gun. He passes me some. “Put this on,” he said while taking off his shirt. I didn’t care to ask why even though my thoughts screamed at the implication of the black coverage. I knew it but I ignored it. The more I thought of being a hero the more I thought of school. My uniform came off freeing me of my thoughts. 

I was surprised at the thought that Tomo had bought me clothes big enough prior to this. Big enough even to be baggy. The full coverage was planned but again ignored. I tried to hide the red of my hair with both a beanie and hood. Tomo waited for me to finish.

“I need you for this. You’re holding it this time. Come with me inside,” Tomo said quickly. He hands me a backpack. Tomo moved on before I could comment. We walked into a shabby repair shop. Inside there was an older man with old faded tattoos. The other men working around the shop had similar tattoos. I realized they mirrored Tomo’s tattoos. The older guy had a frown that may as well be a tattoo as well. 

“Tell me. As our delivery boy, you seem to fail to bring the package. Is it here,” the older man asked. I could see them sizing me up as I stood behind Tomo near the exit, holding the backpack awkwardly. My hero training told me to examine the exits and the possible ways to make sure everything went according to plan. Of course, I had no idea what that plan was. I decided to just go along with whatever Tomo was doing. 

“Oh, it's here. You can’t see it till I see you got money,” Tomo said, his voice clear of falter. I envied his casual speech even when I knew he was scared. I felt myself being scared although I knew very well that I was the most combat trained. I can’t help but be a coward, huh?

The old man grumbled something to the other man before the man walked out of the garage. I noticed another shadow in a window as there was faint talking. Then there was the unmistakable sound of a gun loading. Tomo didn’t notice it, it seemed as if his demeanor was still the same. The old man had a smirk. He was going to kill us. My heart beats faster as I feel myself start to freeze in place.

Then in a second, I hardened and covered Tomo with my frame. The bullet bounced off my back and I seemed confused about where it might have hit. There was a sound so quick that if I wasn’t filled with adrenaline, I might’ve missed it. Two more guns are being loaded on both sides of the garage along with the bullet hitting flesh. I didn’t waste a moment before picking up Tomo embarrassingly like a bride and sprinting away from the repair shop.

“Hey! What the hell are you doing?!” I heard from Tomo. There were shouts behind us as I saw an oncoming wall in between the alleyways of downtown Tokyo. I huffed as I threw Tomo and the bag over the wall and high. I was suddenly grateful for my weightlifting expertise and Tomo’s skinny frame as I vaulted over the wall. I was never good at being agile but I was glad for my extra strength to bounce my body over. I caught Tomo with a grunt from both of us and I grabbed the bag. 

“Jesus! Let me go, we can take them!” Tomo yelled at me and I felt his fist punch my hardened chest. I heard a crack and I felt pity as I realized I had broken the boy’s hand. There was a string of whines from the pain. I ignored it as I took a swift turn. I wasn’t fast enough to get far from them. Where was that bike again? Oh, I should have gone left after that graffitied trash can. 

My bad sense of direction led me to a street where some office buildings and a corner store were. I tried to search my mind if I’d seen it coming here as I came to a stop. Tomo instantly pushed off me holding his arm to support his stinging hand. My heart pounded my ears as his glare came on me. 

“The hell, man?! I needed this deal,” Tomo yelled, his nonchalance gone a few straw hairs mimicked his strained resolve. I looked around ignoring him. “Hey, you idiot! You ran away from the bike! You can’t run! Let’s just fight them! That’s why I brought you here!” Tomo was in my way now.

I tried to ignore the sting of his words on what they might’ve meant. “We can’t. They were gonna kill you,” I tried to push my point with an emphasis on ‘kill’. Tomo let out a laugh devoid of humor.

“He is going to kill me anyway! You think he won’t find me where I live? I’m not like you. I can’t run to my happy little rich school for heroes,” he shouted, his face contorted in a way I’ve only seen for his mother’s drugged rage, “I go home and there’s a gun waiting for me!“ His movements were fueled with bite. 

I felt the weight on me growing even as I had nothing on my back. I could hear the sirens of the police in the distance. My silence caused Tomo to strangely continue, “So let’s just kill them! I’m not safe with them alive! You can kill them and they can’t get me. That’s what you like, right? Saving people? Save me!” I watched as he screamed at me. 

There was yelling from the alleyway. I looked down the street and could see the police lights from afar. I looked down at Tomo and then the bag he gave me. I turned towards the alleyway where I could make out the shadows of the other gangsters. My adrenaline raced through my skull.

“Sorry.” Was all I said as I looked at a nearby dumpster. I then broke open the lock and then threw Tomo into it. He shouted in surprise and hurt from the fact he landed on his newly broken hand. I then let the dumpster shut and then I ripped one of the backpack straps off. I then tied the dumpster shut. I hear cursing from inside and him calling my name. I ignored it as I then went to the side of the dumpster and pushed it. I was hefty but the force was enough to get out rolling on the, luckily, unbusy street. 

I could see the flashing lights get near enough they must’ve seen the dumpster. I then ran the direction I came. I remembered where the bike was but I needed to make sure these men weren’t able to leave. I then turned their attention to me running their way. I hardened my arms as I blocked my face. I can’t let my beanie and mask rip too. I heard shots ricocheting off me. I could feel their force but I ignored it. Bruises heal but those men won’t. 

There were seven men now shocked seeing their bullets do nothing. I quickly punched one in the stomach. The man flew to the ground groaning. The others tried to run though I knew there was a dead end. My breathing was short as the force of the blows I made cut them short to make more energy to hit again. Then, one man used his own quirk to send fog from his hands but not quickly enough to hide him. 

After he fell to the ground, I could start to hear the sirens approaching this alley. I then gathered the men out of the disappearing fog under a light clear to see. I didn’t notice their bleeding till I saw it smear under their bodies as I moved them. 

I swallowed the guilt as I heard a shout, “You! Stop! This is the police! I order you to freeze!” I pivoted my foot and vaulted over the wall like earlier. I felt an ache from my feet remembering these were my school shoes as I landed and continued my sprint. I ran farther towards the repair shop and turned, now to my right, to Tomo’s bike. 

I could hear the sirens get quieter as I revved the engine to life and zoomed away from the scene. I took to the road at the highest speed the bike would allow no longer caring for my safety. I felt shame wash over me as I thought about Tomo, but pushed it away trying to remember the way around. 

I was driving for a while as emotions clouded my thoughts. I didn’t realize my direction until I saw the familiar road towards UA. I then remembered the stolen bike and then drove it into a nearby alleyway near another corner store. I remembered this corner store well as it was the closest to the school and my friends and I’s visits in the late night. I turned the engine off and then took off the mask on my face and my beanie. I threw them into a nearby dumpster and then leaned the bike onto the building's wall. 

I ran towards UA as if escaping the evidence. Even though I was still wearing all black and gloves with rips on my shirt. I then walked into the front gate. It usually scanned people coming in but since I was a student there was no alarm. As a third-year student, we were allowed to come in and out of the school but only hero students due to emergencies. I was lucky for that but I wasn’t sure I’d avoid Iida as easily. 

So when I got to the dorm building, I started to climb the patios until I reached what I thought was mine. I slid open the door and noticed it wasn’t my room. I looked around and realized it was Bakugou’s room. It was close enough I thought. But what concerned me was the fact that Bakugou wasn’t in bed. 

I glanced at the clock. Jesus! Two hours past midnight already? Bakugou’s old-man tendencies didn’t allow him to stay up this late. I closed the patio door and then walked across the room.

I opened the door to the hall carefully. Then after not hearing any steps, I stepped out to get in my room. Then I froze as I saw Bakugou in his usual sleepwear, a wife beater, black joggers, and some slippers. His eyes with bags widened at me. I felt frozen under those eyes.

At first, he seemed at a loss for words but then he opened his mouth and whispered urgently into the quiet hall, “Where were you?”

It seemed more like he was seeing a ghost than asking me but I answered, “Sorry… I thought you were asleep.” I tried sounding casual but only felt dumb. 

“What happened to you? Your shirt…” Bakugou said almost in shock. Then his familiar frown came as he said, “Where the hell were you? You had everyone worried as hell after what happened earlier. And now your…” he trailed off for a second, “I don’t even know what the hell is going on!” He said frustratingly.

“Look sorry man but I promise I’ll explain later, okay? I’m really tired so just pretend you didn’t see me, alright?” I say quickly trying to go into my room. Bakugou then resolutely stood in front of the door. 

“Hell, no! You just disappeared earlier! You didn’t answer our calls or texts! Aizawa had to send Present Mic to the location of your phone and all he found was some shitty apartment complex! You're going to tell me what the hell is going on!” Bakugou whisper-yelled as I remembered that I left my phone. Shit, this day was a total disaster. 

“Just-“ I started and then exasperatedly gave a huff as I felt my body grow tired and my mind started to hurt. Then I tried to push past him until Bakugou pushed back and then twisted us to fall on the ground. My skin hardened for the fall but my muscles still ached. “Bakugou, dude, why-“ I whined before stopping. When I look up from landing on my right side, I see Bakugou inspecting a bag with its contents spilled. 

I suddenly jumped to shovel and hide away Tomo’s drugs into the bag but he already saw it. He looks at me with disbelief for a moment, his tired eyes assessing me. 

“Why do you have this?” He asks almost breathlessly. I felt guilt and shame splash over me as I looked back at those red eyes. 

I try to think of something. Anything to say back. Should I lie? He knows what this is. He may be clean but he’s been trained to spot substances like this. Should I tell him? No, never! If he knew how I got this he would be disgusted. 

As my mind debated over a response and Bakugou’s mouth opened as if meant to add an insult to what he said, we heard the elevator beep, meaning Iida’s nightly patrol was coming. So before the both of us were caught, Bakugou went into his room and I swirly grabbed any stray evidence put them back in the bag, and went into my own room. 

After I heard Iida leaving the hall, I locked my door. I climbed into bed after throwing my bag under my bed frame. I didn’t think about the dread of today's events. My brain was too tired to torment me tonight. I fell asleep face down with all my clothes and even my shoes still on.

There was blood on my hands as I walked into another building filled with refugees. I looked around and spotted a man wearing the ASuA symbol. I yanked him from his family as there were screams from them. My hand already cutting up his wrists I looked down at the man. In Thawran I spat, “Tell me where your next factory is. Or else I’ll kill your family after I mutilate you. But don’t worry I keep you alive and ugly to watch.” 

The man desperately pleaded as did his family. I wasn’t going to actually but I still felt the need to threaten him. Then the ASuA answered, jabbering it was south of here. I kicked him, cracking a rip before I left. 

“Nice job, Crimson Death.” I heard Tsuko tease me on the other side of my comm. I rolled my eyes as I walked into the heat of the desert. I knew I had tanned skin now after baking in this desert for more than a year. 

“Want us to pick you up?” I heard Tsuko ask as I looked out towards supposedly the other factory where they made quirk-canceling bullets. I couldn’t see it from here. But when did that stop me?

“No, I got it. I’ll check back in tonight.” I said annoyed. I reached to turn my comm off.

“Wait! Again? You want to go solo again? What if you need aid or-“ Tsuko started. 

“No. Just me. Wait for tonight to hear from me,” I cut him off. I wasn’t going to get anyone else killed because of me. I was the only one reliable enough to survive these bastards. After all, why would I have been chosen for the job?

I turned off the earpiece. I took it out and put it into my bag. I knew Tsuko was getting more and more pissed he wasn’t part of the missions but I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

I started my trek out of the small village this ASuA informant was. There were a few men who came out to see the commotion and froze at the sight of me. I hardened my body to show them I wasn’t scared to kill them. Some yelled some fled, but it was a shepherd boy that had come up to me.

He yelled, “Monster! I’ll kill you for hurting my father!” I stopped in front of him for a moment. I could kill him. No. He’s a child.

“You’re father is my enemy. He is lucky to be spared,” I answered in Thawran back. 

“The father, Taghyirr, will stop you!” He said. I felt my blood run cold.

I heard gasps and pleas from the village onlookers as I bent over. My voice grinded as I said, “Wait and you'll see he is no god after I make him bleed.”

I saw fear in the child’s eyes as I walked away. I heard the villagers usher to him or hide. I couldn’t bring myself to care. All I could think was that Taghyirr was the one making these people starve and suffer. And pretending to be their messiah was just cruel. I would be sure to kill him for what he did to me and his country. I don’t care how long it takes. I’ll live to see him die.

Chapter Text

As we got out of the car, I looked over towards my apartment. I heard a sigh from behind me. I try to imagine it wasn’t because he didn’t want to be here. But I was starting to think he wanted nothing to do with me. 

Why am I even doing this? I don’t think he even cares. Or cares to even tell me what the hell is going on in his life? Like damn! We get it! Being a farmer sucked but that bad? Some of the shit he says doesn’t add up. I can’t even search up shit about what he says because there is literally nothing on it. Search ‘Thawra’, I find shit about the “Change of Red” movement. Boring ass politics that have nothing to do with a farm in Vietnam. Search ‘Kirishima farm Vietnam’, and nothing even remotely related comes up. It was like Kirishima was really off the grid. It pissed me off more than anything. There was no way that was the truth. 

“You’re right,” I heard him say as we got into my apartment. I felt lost as I turned to face him. Well as much as I could face him. Seriously, why did he have to grow like the Green Giant? 

“What?” I snapped. I watched as Kirishima stalked over to the island in my kitchen and took a seat, thinking that what he was going to say actually meant something. I followed him to it as I faced him on the other end of the island. 

“You’re right, Bakugou. That guy from the airport knew me,"he said. His eyes were downcast as if sad to mention it. As much as it bothered me at his pouting, I allowed it for the betterment of my curiosity. 

“And?” I say crossing my arms. Shit, I sound like my mom. Not a good look.

“I met him on the farm. He came from Thawra hoping to expand the farm and buy it from us. He acted like the money he offered was enough but I knew he was just lowballing us. So I scared him off. I didn’t think the farm meant this much to him,” Kirishima explained. His sad eyes are framed by stray hairs of his. How could a man of his caliber look like a sad puppy I had no idea but I knew I couldn’t stand it for long. I was getting really tired of this sad act he’s been honing. Acting like he didn’t leave me. Er- us.

Shit. Well, now what? If his grandma was that sick wouldn’t it be better to leave anyway? I never really knew Kirishima’s financial situation but I could only assume it wasn’t the best. Back in high school, I felt like he knew me better than I knew him. Now, that was completely true. I felt like I was talking to his corpse. Cold, quiet, and almost lifeless. 

That wouldn’t stop me though. “Huh. Weird.” I said plainly. I didn’t know what to think. What did he want from me? Every time I think I know how to reach him he gets farther away. There was no way I was giving up. 

After all, he did the same for me when I first met him, right? I was a real asshole. Deku rightfully hated me after bullying him for years. The rest of our class wanted nothing to do with me, some even seeing me as a joke or just a stepping stone for success. My teachers thought I was a senseless teenager who wanted nothing but violence. My parents thought I would forever stay a succeeding but selfish brute. Hell, even villains saw me as one of them just because of how I acted to be the best. 

But Kirishima? He didn’t. I didn’t believe his intentions were good. I thought he just wanted to reap the rewards of being friends with a powerful future hero. I thought he was annoying. A nuisance like his friends. But after getting to know him and helping him I started to think he wasn’t so bad. I almost considered him a friend. 

That all changed when I got kidnapped by the League of Villains during the summer camp. When the whole thing with All Might fighting All For One for the last time was happening, I thought I was going to die. I thought I was forgotten and unloved enough that no one would care if I died from the League that day. 

Then Kirishima came with his hand outstretched and reaching for me. I could see he managed to get some of our classmates to come too. As he flew over the battlefield thanks to Todoroki and Iida’s quirk, I felt like I was dreaming. Then when he called to me I used my explosion quirk to fly to hold his hand. I never felt more grateful to someone in my life. 

Even afterward, I couldn’t believe it. I later found out that Kirishima arranged the whole rescue plan himself. I heard from Deku that he freaked out and yelled at the class when they tried to shut down his idea. At first, I thought that everyone else was a bunch of dicks for not wanting to help me but then I remembered how irrational it was to ask that of kids. And yet Kirishima still went along with it. Even after how shitty I treated him.

After that, I paid Kirishima back for the equipment he got for the mission and made sure to value him more like he did me. Even though I didn’t deserve it. After that we were best friends, practically inseparable. He was the reason I was able to be confident enough to make friends with his friends. Now they are still friends with me to this day. He was why I felt humble enough to apologize to Deku after the years of mistreatment. He was the best part of my years at UA. Kirishima was the reason I was able to change. He was the reason I grew into the man I am today.

I remind myself this every time I am pissed at him. After all, his patience is the reason I’m here. He made high school a cherished memory. I’ll reach out my hand for him to take until he accepts it.

The problem was how. 

“I’m real tired. So I think I’ll pass out in your guest room if that’s alright, Bakugou,” Kirishima said to me after a yawn, interrupting my mind. I barely opened my mouth before he was gone.

Shit. I was trying to talk to him. And I lost the opportunity again. Every time I get close he runs away. I felt a flash of frustration flow through me as my brows came together. It was almost impossible to approach this. 

Ugh. I knew what I had to do but I wasn’t sure I had the strength to do it. Ah, what the hell I can take tomorrow off. It’s not like someone can take my number one spot in a day.

I open my phone and search for a group chat. I opened the group chat named, “Dunder Heads.” I smiled at the name I gave those idiots. Shit- focus. I then type in “We need to meet now”. I sent it. Then added “Emergency”.

Then a text from Mina came up almost instantly. Of course she was on her phone, when was she not? “OMG you texted first? It must be an emergency! Is someone dead?” I groaned at her words as I typed out. “No idiot.”

Then there was Kaminari’s answer, “Dude! I knew you loved us! He wants to meet for drinks for sure. Life of a celebrity.”

I typed again, “Shut up we need to meet.”

Then Jirou’s text came saying, “Anxious, are we?” With a stupid smug emoji. 

Then Sero’s came, “Rough day at work? I need a drink too.” 

“Lets just meet up! Lets go to that stupid bar near Tokoyami’s agency.” I typed fast.

I then read their agreements. I was glad they had a free night even with all of us now fully fledged heroes. But either way I was glad they had my back.

~~

I got to the bar and saw Kaminari and Jirou being all lovey-dovey outside of it. I rolled my eyes but mostly used to their shared romance from high school. After all, their agencies were joint now. It was like they were practically married in hero society. Kaminari looked plain with a t-shirt and dark jeans. Jirou’s outfit was definitely less elaborate and more comfortable with grunge aspects. I then saw Sero pull up with Mina in the passenger seat. I noticed their casual wear was anything but casual as Mina wore an elaborate outfit of pinks and blacks. Sero wore a stylish fit in earthy washed colors. 

I walked towards them. I was probably not going to drink tonight seeing as I brought my car. But that didn’t matter to me.

Mina smiled at me, her pink skin practically glowing. “Bakugou! I can’t believe you set us up to meet that hasn’t happened in like forever!” Mina squealed.

“Yeah, dude! You got us thinking you're dying or something,” Kaminari added. I saw his girlfriend roll her eyes with a smile. Sero nodded with a chuckle. 

“Just come on,” I grumbled as I walked into the not-so-busy bar. But we went into a big booth in the corner like we were last time. I didn’t wait to tell them why I needed their help. I explained that I didn’t know how to talk to Kirishima after the whole him dropping us thing.

I was wondering how to start when they started updating each other on their lives. Evidently, Kaminari and Jirou had been great. They were cooing to each other small things that only made sense to them for a moment until Mina turned heads towards her. She boasted about the recent advertisement she did on toothpaste and how good she looked in it. Sero agreed with no sarcasm in sight which made me raise a brow. I saw Mina uncharacteristically answer shyly at his compliment. Kaminari and Jirou seemed too busy with themselves to notice it. But of course my lonely ass did. I retrained an eye roll. Great, now all my friends are hooking up. 

“Okay! But are we going to talk about the emergency Bakugou talked about?” Mina suddenly asked in a slightly higher pitched voice. Her face was slightly a deeper pink than before. 

The eyes turned to me as the others seemed to remember I existed. “Right,” I said as I cleared my throat from any bile from my previous thoughts. “This is about Kirishima.” It felt weird to use his name instead of a nickname like I used to. But I was starting to think it wasn’t appropriate for whatever we were right now.

“Oh! I’m glad you brought it up. I wanted to talk about it with you for SO long and-” Kaminari babbled as Jirou cut him off.

“Of course, we only wanted to talk to you if you were comfortable with it,” She said resolutely. There were nods at the table.

“Yeah. I didn’t even get to see the guy after all this time, yet. I was hoping you brought him along,” Sero said, slightly hurt from the meeting he missed. 

“I don’t think he would want to see any of you guys at all in fairness,” I grumbled at the cold version of someone I once knew. I look up and see their curious eyes. It was almost like their ears grew in eagerness. 

I sighed as I said, “He’s… different.” Was all I could think to say. I felt pissed off at myself for the pathetic explanation.

“Different, how?” Jirou answered. 

I looked down at myself rubbing my own knuckles. “Different like he acts weird. He’s bigger now. Stronger. Super quiet and super sketchy. It pisses me off,” I say. Now strange to formulate what I thought to them. 

They looked confused. “He isn’t acting like himself? He seemed fine with us. Maybe it's because of his grandma?” Mina added. I shook my head. 

“I guess,” I trailed off, pissed at the fact they seem to believe it. Was it strange for me to question him? Why did it feel like I was the only one that thought he acted weird or different?

“No offense, but maybe it's you?” I heard Sero say quietly. There was an awkward silence as I looked at the guy.  I could feel my face frown, my upper lip curled. 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I said with a bit of bite. 

Sero paused for a moment glancing at our friends before looking back at me with a sheepish smile. “No offense, but don’t you think you might be too… brash?” He asked leaning back in his booth as if I would start spitting fire. 

As if he wasn’t the one spouting bullshit. I scoffed as I said, “Brash? That asshole doesn’t react to shit even if Crimson Riot comes knocking on the door.”

“Maybe you need to stop asking questions and wait until he answers,” Jirou said. There were nods from the others.

I looked confused at them. I looked at the plates we ordered came from the waitress. We thanked her as I started to contemplate Kirishima’s new attitude. Not asking anything? Then would he ever tell me what the hell was going on with him. Then I thought harder as I drank some of my udon. Kirishima was a force to be reckoned with. Unbreakable inside and out now. But I wondered. Maybe that was how he got to me. He wouldn’t break and finally he broke the walls to me. 

Maybe with him it was different. Maybe with him it was soft and slow. Maybe it wasn’t like waves crashing and making a rock spiked. Maybe it was like a calm steam that smooths stones. Kirishima’s method with me was different from mine with him. I was the brash one, he was the endless smile. I didn’t realize what I had until he left.

“Hey! How about you hang out with him? No stress! No work, no questions, no heroism, just you and Kirishima. That should help him trust you again!” Mina said happily. 

“Yeah! Maybe you guys can go to the arcade like you guys used to. Or! Maybe you guys could do a pottery lesson together! Or! Or!-“ Kaminari babbled until Jirou smooched his lips to stop him. He stopped as his face blushed like a lovesick child. 

“Or just watch a movie at your apartment. Play video games there with him. Maybe show him your new interest in Crimson Riot?,” Jirou teased with her earlobe jack pointing at me. There was agreement among them. I grumbled as they smiled.

Kirishima would like the collection I’ve obtained over the years of missing him. I didn’t think it was that bad until Deku was telling me I was like him with All Might merchandise. Midoriya was not someone I wanted to be compared to when it came to that. 

But to be honest. I always thought of Kirishima as I set up the collection. I used to imagine his smile and excitement as he looked at even the most vague mention of his favorite hero Crimson Riot. When Kirishima was gone, I would see the old hero merch and buy it. A glimpse of his smile that flashed through my mind made it easier to go on day by day. 

Next thing I knew I grew a collection of Crimson Riot merchandise. I found myself actively searching for rarer items and more expensive items as I imagined his grin to grow more and more. Kirishima’s sharp teeth like a shark grinning so widely it hurt was what I imagined.

Deku didn’t mind helping me with my new hobby. He even seemed happy to have someone with him to find more for our collections. Although, my collection was nothing like the superfan Deku was. I always thought it was a bit absurd for someone who literally was the closest to All Might. But as long as I got more Crimson Riot merchandise I kept my mouth shut.

So I paid for my friend’s food and left early. Thanking them I left. I opened my phone as I went into my Porsche as I hovered my finger over the call button. I let shame bubble in my stomach as I moved my finger to text him instead. My heart was beating slightly faster as I asked simply, ‘want to hang out in my apartment for a movie or something?’.

I knew I was being a bitch but I couldn’t help the doubt that came from every action I made with Kirishima nowadays. There wasn’t an immediate response so I just threw my phone on the passenger seat as I drove to work. I would just train to clear my head. Easier than thinking anymore about this.

~

There was an answer from Kirishima that made me almost crash my car on the way back. I didn’t care for the road safety laws as I opened my phone and looked at what it might be. There was a simple, ‘sure man when?’

My heart pounded as I let a big grin out. There was no one looking at me anyway. I felt giddy as I parked my car thumping my steering wheel with my palm with an affirming “yes!” a couple times.

I felt like an idiot as I went into my apartment realizing I didn’t answer yet. I fumbled to get my shoes off as I put my house slippers on quickly.

Now? No that’s desperate. Tomorrow? Mehhh good enough. I text back ‘you free tomorrow at 5 pm?’ I held my breath as I dropped my phone and threw it on my bed. I paced the room as I waited. Then another ping caused me to sprint to the phone tripping and falling off the bed instead of landing on it. I groaned as I got up and then quickly swiped my phone off the cushions. 

‘Sure man I’ll drop by’ was the answer. I felt pride in myself in my ability to accomplish what I’d been dreading. Then I felt a stray thought think wow how desperate can the number one hero get? I ignored it. For Kirishima, it was worth it. He thought the same once.

I looked at the lone light in my dorm light up. I looked away from my bed where it lay as I swiveled my chair to face my desk. Another text from Kirishima. How desperate could he get? What was he even going to say to me after that? 

My thoughts swarmed on Kirishima’s bag filled with illegal drugs. So many packages. So many charges he would face. What would happen if he got caught? He would be expelled for sure. Forget about being a hero. With the amount he had, it had to be assumed it was for selling. Why bring it to the school? Was he trying to sell them here?

No. Not even Kaminari was that stupid. He must have been selling them somewhere else. But the deal went wrong. There were bullet holes in his clothes. I didn’t even see those clothes in Kirishima’s heaps of laundry before. He bought them to get messed up then. So this was new? Unless that’s where he was going every time he went out of the school to hang out with his old friends. He mentioned a guy named Tomo before. Maybe that was code for drug dealing or something?

Damn it! What the hell is going on with that guy? First he ran out of the class when that stupid rumor made the class second guess where he came from. Then he brings back drugs from hell knows where! What next? This wasn’t normal.

Kirishima didn’t technically say no when asked if he had killed his parents when he was younger. That made me feel sick to my stomach thinking my best friend would hide something like that. But if it were true, why the hell would he be in UA. Much less, in class 3A?

I tried to open my laptop to do some homework to get my mind off this but I couldn’t. I was glad there was no class today but also pissed off that there wasn’t. I wanted answers. Why the hell did the school suddenly think Kirishima’s ass was so interesting? Maybe it was because he won the Sports Festival? I did the first time. Todoroki last year. Now Kirishima. 

Was that reason enough? I got some rumors about the attack with the sludge villain. Nothing like this to this extent. Hell, I yelled at some class B chick for saying shit about Kirishima the other day. I know she wasn’t the only one. I can see the way people look at him and it pissed me off. Most of these cowards were cheering his name in the Sports Festival.

Now? I didn’t know what to think. I wanted to defend him. Find some way to explain why he was acting off and doing weird shit. I was popping my fingers as I tried to think of what I’d do. 

Kirishima was my best friend. He helped me every step of the way to get to where I don’t hate myself for what I do. He was the only one I’ve even considered seeing constantly after UA. I couldn’t imagine a world where he wasn’t near. When we were choosing agency areas in cities I couldn’t help but feel horrible when I saw Kirishima was in Osaka and not with me in Tokyo. 

Kirishima was the bringer of light in my life. I guess I trusted his ability to hold the light more than I should have looked into the shadows he was hiding. 

The afternoon came but I was no closer to understanding the situation than before. Should I ignore him? I knew there were plenty of texts waiting for me but I didn’t even want to know what he might be thinking. What if he was lying? I knew he was capable of it but I was horrible at it so I’d know. Or would I? Why did I never think of his parents? I guess I’m too consumed in what I do in life and what he’s like to care. I always felt I knew him well. Did Kirishima not want to tell me even after all this time?

There was a knock at the door. At first I didn’t notice it as I was in my bed. I didn’t even realize that I didn't do anything all day but worry about what was happening. Then another knock came. I got out of bed and dreaded speaking with him. I didn’t even know what to say. Much less think. 

I opened the door and felt myself let out the breath I was holding. It was just Mina. She looked tense though. “What’s with you?” I asked gruffly. 

“You know the whole rumor with Kirishima and him running off?” She asked quick to the point. I nodded. Great, not even a new topic. 

“Well, it turns out it was true… at least that’s what we think,” she said as I suddenly felt irked by the conversation.

“What do you mean?” I grounded out trying to keep my temper. I didn’t need to be yelling at her since she knew Kirishima well too. Must be something they both hid from us. But seriously? Mina keeping a secret felt impossible.

“I mean we asked Aizawa if you knew about the rumor and he didn’t say no! He must have known!” Mina’s dark eyes widened with shock. The electric yellow of her pupils made it stand out. 

“Hold on. That doesn’t mean yes either. Student confidentiality must exist too. But I don’t think Kirishima has the capability to do that. Kill your own parents? Does that sound like him to you? Obviously he didn’t if he’s in school right now. Maybe they are dead but definitely not murdered by him. Just think about it,” I explained, almost convincing myself. But I knew I was just covering up for him as a way to convince myself too. After the drug thing, I wasn’t sure what to think.

Then Mina nodded thoughtfully. Her bubblegum skin on her brow creased as she thought about it. “Yeah… you’re right. Kirishima I must have left because it was hard for him to talk about. But I’ve seen his dad… maybe it’s just his mom?” She asked looking up as I shrugged unhelpfully.

She just pouted as she continued, “Yeah, anyway, he hasn’t come out of his room and neither have you so we were wondering if you guys were talking about it together. Are you guys, okay?” 

I stiffened as I subconsciously glanced at the wall I shared with my best friend. Hell. I should just talk to him instead of being a bitch. It may be that we were in a weird situation right now but the only way to get answers is to ask. 

“Was gonna talk to him right now actually,” I said as she got the message and left with a quick goodbye. Most likely hoping I could explain this all to her later. I would probably say something to put her mind at ease. After all, if she was anything like me it was tearing her apart. But I’d only tell her enough for her to get off his back realistically. After all, Mina and I were probably the least close out of the friend group. Our personalities clash a lot was all I could describe it as.

I walked over to Kirishima’s dorm. “I know you're in there. We gotta… talk.” I paused, almost regretting my decision. But I fixed my posture. I wasn’t a bitch. I can talk to my best friend whenever I like, thank you very much.

The door opened quickly. The air actually whooshing with the movement. My eyes widened as I looked up at him. Curse him for growing a few inches over me this summer. 

“Bakugou…” Kirishima said almost breathlessly. It was like he was looking at me for the first time. Taking in the sight of me. I decided it was only fair to do the same as I noted his shabby look. His shitty red dyed hair was even shittier, messy and flat. His eyes looked irritated and with bags he was sporting for the last few weeks. He wasn’t wearing a shirt. He was wearing only his boxers. They were big and with dumb little sharks. His muscles were a bit distracting when there was a snail trial teasing me. 

I felt my heart quickening as I looked at him. Then I finally looked back up to his eyes. I mentally beat myself up for visibly checking him out but I was glad I still held my scowl. I cleared my throat as if it was clear my gay ass head. “Are you going to let me in or am I just going to stand out here like an ass?” I asked flippantly. 

Kirishima mumbled assurances as he opened the door wider and let me walk past him. As I came in I immediately noticed the backpack from last night peeking out from under Kirishima’s bed. I turned my head away as I stood near his  Crimson Riot poster on the far wall from the bed. I crossed my arms as I looked at him. 

There was a pause. “I don’t know what to say,” Kirishima said softly. He seemed lost. Hopeless. 

“How about you start with your freak out in class?” I offered. Straight questions, straight answers right?

“Um… I was overwhelmed. I don’t like to talk about that shit, man. My p- mom was the one that died. But something like this happened when I was… a kid. So I freaked.” Kirishima explained. His eyes were glossy like he was going to cry.  

I looked out the window that wasn’t covering the sunlight coming in. It usually is never dark here. Today it was, besides a few rays of light. I drummed my index finger on my bicep for a second before looking back at him saying, “And the drugs?”

He looked down. “I have this friend… he got into some trouble so I took him to the police. But he left the bag. I- didn’t know what was in it. But if I give it now he’d get in trouble,” he said, looking still stressed. 

I held my gaze to his feet as I said, “You know you’ll be done for here right? If you are caught with it?” 

“I know. I just- I don’t know what to do with it! How could I get rid of it?” Kirishima spouted now pacing in thought.

Hold on. “I’m not helping you dumbass,” I say clearly looking up at him again. I caught his gaze as he froze. I continued stalking closer, “I want nothing to do with this bullshit. I’m pissed at you. Lying about shit. Now this? You’re on your fucking own.” I poked his chest as I said the last sentence. 

I turned away as there was an almost inaudible cracked voice that said, “wait…” I froze in place. There was a pregnant pause as I waited for him to say something, anything to get me to help him. Believe in him again. A small part of me wanted so badly to turn around. But I didn’t.

“Please don’t tell anyone.” Was all Kirishima said. It wasn’t the words I wanted to hear honestly. But it didn’t change my direction as I left his dorm. I went back into my room. I didn’t know it then but this was the beginning of the end with him. Where the distrust started.

I sat at the desk I knew well. I knew there was no way to go back in time but God did I need it now. The sun poured in from the window of class 3A’s main room. I swiped the desk with my gloves slowly, envisioning the time I spent sitting here. 

I would look over my shoulder and see a toothy smile there but now it was a lone desk. It stood lifeless even though it held life itself. I sort of wanted to burn it now.

“Hey, Kacchan. Are you good?” I heard Deku’s voice call to me from the entrance of the classroom. I huffed in affirmation as I got up. I turned and saw Deku was putting on his suit jacket and grabbing his forsaken yellow school bag he had been sporting since we were kids. 

We were walking down the hallway wordlessly for a bit until he said, “Still nothing, huh?”

I grimaced at the familiar question. He has been saying that for over a year now. “Hell no,” I grumbled back.

His freckled face dipped with a nod of  sad understanding. He gripped the straps slightly tighter in deep thought. No doubt trying to comfort me. So I continued, “There isn’t anything on him anymore. Every Kirishima in this country doesn’t know who he is. Was he adopted or some shit? Because I can’t find his dad even according to Mina’s description. It’s like he just vanished.” 

“Yeah. That’s so weird. Aizawa sensei still won’t budge on the subject either. I try to prod him occasionally but, nothing,” Midoriya mumbled almost to himself. The gears in his head were shifting.

I just shrugged. I didn’t want to think so much about the dickhead anyway. Kirishima dropped us like we weren’t shit to him. That thought made my chest feel constricting. 

Unnatural red hair sporadically danced in the cold wind. Tan skin and tight grip. A hold filled with care. A flash. Breathe.

Careless laughter in the setting sun. Reassuring words after a long day. A brush of our knuckles hitting each other. Quiet looks. A flash. Breathe.

Seizing pain. Hospital bed. Fat tears clouding large ruby eyes. Rough skin touching soft skin. Comforting silence. A flash. Breathe. 

A glimpse of red in a distressed crowd. Screams from passersby. Running into open arms. Tight and trembling embrace. Reciting names. Safe arms. A flash. Breathe!

“Breathe,” Midoriya said, holding my shoulders as I was on the ground shaking. My knees to my chest. My numb feet in the ground. His green eyes looked at me concerned as he said, “You had another panic attack. Maybe you should try to avoid talking about Kirishima. You tend to have more attacks when on the subject.”

I huffed in annoyance and desperation. I wanted it to all end. I wanted him to come back. “What if he’s dead?” I croaked. My eyes burned as I looked away from Deku. The words weighing my heart.

“No. Aizawa wouldn’t lead us on like that. If he were dead, we’d know. But we just have to hope he’s safe wherever he is,” Deku said affirmatively. I choked a sob and let out a nasty cough instead. He patted my back. “He wouldn’t leave us without reason. He wouldn’t ever ignore us willingly. We just got to have faith,” Deku continued almost like he was convincing himself. 

I walked with him to my car. I knew he was trying to be nice but a small part of me wanted him to be dead and wanting instead of alive and ignoring. It would hurt more than his death to see him show me how much I meant nothing to him. When he meant everything to me. I closed my door as I mumbled something like a ‘thanks’ to Deku. His green curls bounced as he nodded. He smiled reassuringly. I felt like a dick for wanting Kirishima’s smile instead of his. I started my engine as I turned down the radio playing “Skin” by kurtains. 

Chapter Text

I wasn’t sure how to live normally anymore. Or what was considered normal. I knew Tomo was in jail now. I got plenty of annoying texts from his mom about it. I dodged them. I’d let Tomo deal with it. I managed to get rid of the drugs discreetly. I had left the school again with the bag for Fatgum’s agency. I was excused from class. When in the agency, I dumped the large collection of drugs in the evidence room for other cases. I was smart about it. I wore gloves and everything. The same ones Tomo gave me to sell the drugs. 

I felt sick after I did it. I made sure there was no one that could have caught me. I realized that I was using my hero training for something illegal. So when I got to Fatgum I told him I couldn’t help him with the mission since I felt sick. He was super understanding about it and I was sure that made me feel worse about the whole ordeal.

I went back to UA but just went straight to the dorms. I had finished everything this week to try and distract myself from what Bakugou knew about me. I knew it was a shitty situation for us both. I just hoped I could graduate with all this swept under the rub. But with kids at school being on to my past was making it harder to see that reality. 

As I walked towards my dorm building, I stopped and noticed Monoma to the side of the building. He was standing with another student from general studies. They were on the patio part of the building that had no cameras pointed. The same way I had snuck into the rooms at night. I got out of sight fast and crept to the corner. It was still class hours so they should be in class like mine is. 

“Do we have to do this? If we get caught, I don’t want to fight that guy! He won in the Sports Festival,” The other student complained. What? They were talking about me.

Monoma’s annoying voice came, “This guy is up to no good! Do you really want a dirty hero saving you? We have to do this. It's the only way.” There was a shuffle as the student had used their quirk that seemed like a cloud and sat in it. The cloud then lifted the student off into the air. I watched as I saw the student float to my balcony. Shit. It was me they were after. But what are they planning? Should I go up to him or wait till they leave?

I was starting to contemplate getting a teacher when I heard Monoma’s steps come close to the front of the building where I was. I panicked. There was nowhere to hide so I had to just pretend like I just got here. Or maybe I’ll just be a man and confront him. I decided to go with that option. I turned the corner and tried to look menacing.

Monoma jumped with an embarrassing squeal. He then got frustrated and asked, “W-what are you doing here? You have class, don’t you?” His lean form was exuding nerves. 

“I was at Fatgum’s agency. Wasn’t feeling well so I headed back to my dorm. What about you, Monoma?” I challenged with my arms crossed. I made sure to flex my muscles and puff out my chest a little. I could beat him up. He was easy to beat in the Sports Festival. It would be easier now. 

“Not that it's any of your business. I was just sent on an errand for my teacher,” Monoma tried with his silver tongue. I nodded, faking understanding. Then Monoma continued, “Well, if that is it-”

“No. I don’t believe it. What the hell are you doing messing with my dorm?” I demanded as I hardened my hand and cracked the brick near me. My fist hit the same height Monoma’s head was. I was suddenly glad for my height. 

Monoma’s grey eyes widened with fear. I felt an odd pleasure when he looked at me. I could see him trying to think of anything to say to escape. Then seeming to get frustrated again he said, “You think you are so much better than the rest of us, huh? Even though we all know you are a murderer. Nowhere near a hero, no matter what my father claims. You’re the embarrassment of UA winning at the Sports Festival.” His finger pointed accusingly at my face. 

I felt shock come from his words. So people did think I murdered my parents. Not that they were really off the mark. I felt myself feel dread as Monoma continued, “You are lucky your lame quirk even got you so far! I know you are weak. My parents don’t know that!”

I was starting to feel lost. I wasn’t sure what he was talking about now. Then I saw movement behind him. I looked up and saw the general studies student was looking my way. I saw them turn to run. I forcibly pushed Monoma to the side and sprinted to the girl. She screamed before I tackled her. I fell on top of her as she groaned. I lifted myself off of her slightly as I grabbed her arm. “Hey! Get off!” She complained.

“Tell me what you did in my dorm!” I yelled at her. There were steps behind me. I hardened my back just in case but focused on the girl under me. 

“N-nothing! It was just a prank!” She screamed.

“What was it?” I pressed as I threatened to break her forearm. She called out for Monoma as she was in pain with my tight hold on her arm. 

“There’s a rain cloud in your room!” She finally said with tears in her eyes. I got off of her quickly. My heart was racing as I saw bruises on her. I took a step back and saw a flash of light from my room like lightning. 

“What are you going to do, hero? After mercilessly hurting this poor girl after you took advantage of her!” I heard Monoma say from behind me. I didn't turn his way and instead started climbing the side of the building to get to my room. Shit, shit!

I slid open the door and saw my room getting drenched in rain. I hurried to grab my backpack with my schoolwork and laptop from the room. I threw it onto the balcony as I ran back into my room. I grabbed a broom and started to disperse the cloud. After clearing the clouds I looked at my soggy room. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t pay for water damage. I didn’t have shit to pay for it. 

My door slammed open to reveal the pro hero Hound Dog. I saw him look surprised at the state of the room. He growled as he said, “Come with me.” 

I followed him quietly. I didn’t know how to explain it. I knew that Hound Dog must have seen Monoma and that girl outside the dorm or at least smelled them. So he must’ve known their involvement. I’ll just tell them the truth. 

Then I was brought all the way to Principal Nezu’s office. I was told to sit in the waiting area. I shivered realizing I was soaked. My gelled hair even came down on my face. I looked out the window for a bit shivering occasionally. I tried not to think. But the stresses of homework, Bakugou, Fatgum’s agency, Tomo, the classes I missed, the Hero Reconstruction Project, and now this was getting to me. I realized escaping my thoughts wasn’t easy. I felt overwhelmed like I did when Bakugou got kidnapped. I couldn’t stop my head from torturing me. 

“Kirishima.”

I looked up and saw Aizawa looking down at me. I glanced to and from the window. Shit classes ended already?

“Get up. We have to talk.” He said as he turned and walked into Nezu’s office. I felt my clothes were starting to dry in some places but it was still sticking to me in others. I watched my feet as I walked in and sat down. 

“Kirishima.” Nezu greeted me as I looked up at him. I saw his concerned little fluffy face and felt even more guilty. I didn’t say anything back. I noticed Aizawa was standing to the side of Principal Nezu. I looked at the clock. Damn, I was in that waiting room for like two hours.

“You are under serious scrutiny Kirishima,” Nezu sighed as I felt another shudder throughout my body. “What you did to that girl was something that cannot be overlooked.”

I felt my brows come together, “What?” 

“Sexual assault is something that UA cannot overlook and is even a reason for expulsion,” Nezu stated evenly.

“What the…” I said mostly to myself. What did that girl say? Sexual assault? I didn't do that. I’ve been messed up for the last few days but this?

“Don’t try to deny it. He saw the effects of your quirk on her body. Plus, we have heard further rumors you tried the same with another girl from general studies a few weeks ago. We don’t come forward with rumors with no evidence but this is much different,” Aizawa explained. I felt my hands harden. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. 

“But-” I felt my mouth move on my own.

“Furthermore, leaving the campus during school hours without an excuse is not something to be overlooked either. You seemed to be emotionally distressed but leaving without reassurance where you went caused an investigation taking faculty out of their jobs just to search for you,” Nezu added. 

“Not to mention, you coming back after curfew is another rule we take seriously,” Nezu said as he turned his monitor to show me wearing the black clothes heading into the dorm building with Tomo’s backpack filled with drugs. I felt sick.

“I can’t imagine what caused this but please try to explain yourself,” Nezu finished. 

 I sat there for a moment in silence as I tried to collect my thoughts. “I didn’t do anything with those girls! Monoma and that cloud girl destroyed my dorm,” I yelled, feeling my rage from the situation bubble. 

“Don’t raise your voice-” Aizawa started and then I cut him off.

“I don’t even know those girls! I was coming back from Fatgum’s agency and saw they were doing something to my room so I tried to confront them. When I realized what they did I was trying to save my stuff! I just stopped her from running to tell me what was going on,” I yelled. Feeling warmth to my cold skin from the warmth of my rage.

“I left the school because my friend is in jail! Where he lived is where I left my phone. That girl I rejected is just making shit up! If anything, she used her quirk on me and I still have the nightmare of my parents dying every night since! And I keep seeing people’s dead bodies in them like Midnight! You should be pissed at her!” I was yelling as I felt a tear warm my cold cheek. I didn’t even realize I had stood up.

“Monoma has something to do with this shit! He was saying weird stuff about his parents and how they defended me or something. Now my room is ruined and it's my fault,” I screamed so roughly it sounded like a threat. My throat was stinging now. I felt my hardening hands soften as Aizawa used his quirk on me.

“No one wants to talk to me because I fucking watched my parents die! One of you people told them and now I can’t escape it,” I continued as I felt Aizawa wrap me in his scarf. 

“Calm down,” Aizawa growled. I felt my rage bubble again but I stopped as I saw Nezu’s concerned gaze.

“Do not worry, Kirishima. I will look into these claims. The good news is I doubt you will be taken out of UA given it is the last semester of your third year. The investigation will likely not be timed to prevent your graduation. I will speak with the other teachers to see if they are in agreement on your situation. Thank you for pleading your concerns. You are free to go,” Nezu stated resolutely as he motioned for me to go to the door. I felt the cold damp clothes on my skin again as I stood up. Aizawa pulled off the scarf. He looked a bit upset so I just decided I was lucky and turned around.

As I walked out, I saw Monoma smiling at me in the waiting room. I felt my rage collect again as he walked past me smiling. I used the last of my restraint not to hit him as he walked into the room. 

As I walked into the hall there were immediate looks glancing my way. They tried to hide their hushed conversations as I walked by but I heard them. I felt naked walking down that hall out of the UA main building. The second glances and the nasty words weren’t stopped by my hardening, unfortunately.

“Trying to murder the wall or something?” I heard Tsuko say from behind me. I didn’t turn around as I practiced different hard hits to the wall. Each one I was imagining killing an ASuA member. Every hit is meant to kill. Every thrown fist is not a true kill but it helped me to imagine it to be. It made me feel better that way.

“Guess you are. You know you are supposed to be the hero of the military, right? I tried to imagine you as a hero since that was what you were going to be before we picked you up. And after this long, I’m not sure you can do it. You’re just so different than when I scouted you,” Tsuko said. I stilled my movements as I heard his confession. 

I didn’t move as he continued, “It is just so weird to think of a killing machine that’s terrifying a nation, a hero in a commercial.” Tsuko even laughed at that. I didn’t hear my thoughts. I felt rage naturally now. He was playing with fire. 

“Nothing breaks me,” was all I said. 

There was a moment where I only heard him huff. Then Tsuko said, “You might be right about that. But I miss how you were before all this. I mean a year ago you used to drink with me in my office. Now I can’t even imagine you as anything but what they made you. What they did to you might be the biggest regret I’ll ever have for scouting you, man.”

I ignored him. I just punched the crumbling wall. The thoughts of ASuA coming back to me. My training consumed me again. 

“I’m so sorry, man. I wish I were a hero that could save you.” I thought I heard. But my fists hitting the concrete drowned out any further noise.

*

*

I know his name. Everything he likes. And yet here I am wondering about him like he is a mystery. Well, I guess he is a mystery now, huh?

It's probably impossible to tell if I was going insane with cleaning my apartment and preparing for Kirishima to come over. I looked at the door anxiously and clock too. I know he knew where I lived by now but I still sent him the address just in case. I bought a lot of things at the stores this morning. My mind ran through all the ideas I had when I missed him. Now that he was back I wanted to show him what he missed. What I missed doing with him. It was hard trying to find the perfect ideas because I started to geek out like fucking Deku when he was gushing over his girlfriend like he wasn’t already a grown-ass adult. 

I had that feeling all day. That sappy-ass feeling I rejected in high school. It hurt before but now I wanted to share everything he missed when he was gone. Every moment I imagined him there and now he was here. I didn’t care how much it was or if it was too much. I wanted to make this new Kirishima smile again. As stupid as that sounded.

The door had a knock. My heart might have gone into cardiac arrest. I looked over to the door and had to resist destroying the door by exploding it out of the way. I walked over and opened it. There he was. 

His face had the same worn look. The weight he carried made his shoulders stoop a bit. I immediately thought of asking something but swallowed it. I looked up at the bigger man and said, “You’re late.” He wasn’t.

I could see his mind shift from something bad to my question. “Huh? I thought I was on time. Sorry! After I ran and everything,” Kirishima quickly apologized with regret. He put his hand behind his neck in embarrassment. 

“I’m fucking with you, you’re early,” I amended as I took a step to the side letting him in. I watched his features relax as he put on a smile. 

“Jeez, man, you scared me,” he said as he walked in. I then led him to the couch as I had prepared to play video games with him. I watched as his eyes lit up.

“Dude! You still have the same games as in high school?” Kirishima said excitedly. I watched as he looked at his old chosen remote. He always chose the red one. I sat next to him on the couch and started up the system. 

“You think I could get rid of the proof I had beating your ass at shit?” I joked as I heard him laugh. I felt that feeling again. Then I saw Kirishima look off to the side as I started to switch to Mario Kart. I always won against him in these old games. 

I turned around to him and saw that pained look. The look like he didn’t want to be here. Except maybe it wasn't, maybe it wasn’t me. It was whatever he was hiding. He seemed happy-ish when he wasn’t thinking. So I’ll get him to stop thinking. 

“We are making pizza together for dinner just so you know,” I say as the game menu comes up. His eyes came back to me as he smiled. There you go.

“We? I can’t cook, man. You know that.” Kirishima's smile came small but it was there.

“You are today. But if you win, I’ll feed you like a king,” I say with a smirk. 

“You’re on, man!” He said now with a new diction. 

It felt different than when we were young. Sure we laughed, pushed, and teased each other like back then while we played but something was different. The fullness of my heart back then was more friendly. This was more than that.

After I won again, I watched his sharp teeth show as he laughed. It wasn’t strained but it was too short as he focused on the game. I realized I would work even harder for it to happen again. 

We moved to the kitchen to try making the pizza. I tried to help him out by grabbing his hand and guiding him. I felt so embarrassed that my sweaty palms had small sparks. I wiped them for like the fifth time as I looked over at him. 

As soon as I did, he managed to accidentally topple over the flour from earlier. I laughed so hard as he made the bold move of dumping the flour over my head. His laughter hung in the air. Next thing we knew we were throwing the different ingredients of the pizza at each other. I dodged a particular pepperoni as I threw back a piece of the dough. Then he splattered the water on me as he laughed. I tackled him to the ground. We both caught sight of a lone tomato that fell from the chaos. We looked at each other and then fought each other to grab it. I was victorious enough to grab it in time as I smashed it into his nose. I cackled as he grabbed it from off his face and smashed it onto my cheek. 

Then Kirishima started to snot out tomatoes from his laughter and as much as it was gross it was hilarious. We laughed so hard as we both lay on the ground where we had held our battle. Then after a bit, it died down. The sight of him swelled me with that feeling seeing that sweet smile I fought so hard for. Shit. I loved it so much that it hurts knowing I didn’t have it for basically five years.

Then his face was slightly red as a small chuckle came from him, “What, Bakugou? Do I have something on my face?” I huffed a laugh at his joke.

“Fuck, now that you mentioned it I think there is,” I say as I pulled my body closer to him while a chuckle came from him.

Then my heart beat as a bold hand of mine reached up to his face. I could see his deep eyes looking at me wide open with wonder. I trailed my hand on the different food groups that managed to hit the target. Then my fingers traced over the familiar scar from his childhood. The small scar over his eyelid and under his brow. The last time I touched it we were different. He was scared and needed reassurance. I gave it to him then. 

But there was a large one that went down his face. This one was new. This one looked like when his hardening splits. He said it came from a farm but I knew it was some sort of battle and not an easy one. I carefully traced over his new scar. I heard him shudder as his breathing stopped. His eyes looked terrified. I wanted to ask the truth like last time. I wanted to know and comfort him again. 

No. No questions. Just wait. He will tell you. I trusted that now. So instead I whispered, “You’re beautiful.” I saw his eyes snap to mine no longer in fear but in surprise. I knew my face was probably red as hell but I didn't care. We aren't kids anymore. We were different. This moment was bound to be different. So I said what I wanted. I wasn’t scared to tell him shit now. He just needs to remember he can do the same. 

“Bakugou…” Kirishima’s voice came. It was as hushed as mine as if my thumb touching his scar was much louder than our words. OR maybe it was our thoughts. I saw his eyes look at my lips for a moment. My heart pounded louder as my thoughts scattered. Shit, what is this guy thinking?

Then Kirishima let out a sigh and closed his eyes. He got off the ground. I quickly got up. My thoughts panicking. Shit, I ruined it. Or was it him? Why did he look like he was going to-?

“Sorry about your kitchen, man,” I hear him say. I looked around. Yeah, it was a mess but hell would freeze over before I regretted it. 

“Help me clean it up. I’ll just order the pizza.” I say grabbing some of the food off the ground. He didn’t hesitate to help. We didn’t talk much as our minds raced. I looked up at him a few times as we cleaned. Then he made a joke and the air was free again. He always had a talent for that, didn’t he?

Then when we finished I led him to what made me the most nervous the whole night. Kirishima opened the door to a place only a few people entered to see. I heard a gasp. 

“No… way…” I saw Kirishima’s face in complete shock and awe looking at the collection of Crimson Riot merchandise. I saw his fanboy smile completely shift his face as he gawked and geeked out over different figures, cups, books, magazines, posters, you name it. 

“Dude! You even have the Limited Edition Bronze Statue From Hero Expo 2007!  AND You have the autographed rubble piece from his fight against Tumbler!” Kirishima spotted as he pointed at the different things in the collection. His smile was so genuine and full it made every purchase here worth it. 

“How- why-? Kirishima started now at a loss for words remembering I was there. I didn't let him finish.

“It’s yours.” Was all I said. It was all for him after all. 

“What?” Kirishima’s face now looked at me.

“I got it for you. It’s late so I hope you don’t mind if I ask you to stay over. I got some clothes that might fit you. Then come out for pizza and a movie, okay?” I saw it quickly. I knew it was messed up to leave him with no choice but to say yes, but I’ll be damned if I can’t make that smile last longer. We both took showers and changed. 

For the rest of the night after that, we watched an old Crimson Riot movie as Kirishima couldn’t help but freak out over the room. He said thank you like a million times and asked so many questions like when I got interested in collecting it all. I just decided to act nonchalant about it and watched as it drove him crazy to know what was on my mind. Then I fell asleep. I later found out that Kirishima had left the blanket on me. I got off the sofa and noticed he went to bed where he slept for a day. 

I watched him peacefully dream for a moment as the moonlight touched his face. I decided that tonight wasn’t the only Kirishima time I was going to steal. I went to my bed and set an early alarm. I have a lot to do tomorrow.