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Published:
2025-01-14
Updated:
2025-06-15
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7/?
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The Misadventures of Sakura-chan

Summary:

That day at Tropical Land, Kudou Shinichi disappeared and was never seen or heard of again.

Or was he?

_

Or: a chatfic where Kudou Shinichi never became Edogawa Conan and that somehow changed everything and nothing at the same time.

Notes:

I have no idea what I'm doing, I just copypasted a tutorial and it resulted in this abomination

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: The (not) Disappearance of Kudou Shinichi

Chapter Text

(Mouri Ran & Kudou Shinichi)

Sherlock's #1 fanboy
Yesterday 7:27 PM
hiii

did you arrive home yet????

Yesterday 8:03 PM
Shinichi? Yesterday 10:15 PM
Shinichi please I swear

if something happened to you I'm gonna kick you to the stratosphere

I went to your house and no one was there

I asked Hakase and he hasn't seen you since you went to school today

istg if you got distracted by another case you're gonna WISH there was another detective to solve your case

if you don't reply in 10 minutes I'm gonna set all your Sherlock Holmes books on fire

Yesterday 10:25 PM
Shinichi?

please respond I'm actually worried :(

Today 3:18 AM
Hi

I'm alive

But I don't know how long that'll last

OMG YOU FINALLY RESPONDED WHERE WERE YOU

wait what do you mean??

Shinichi what do you mean?????????

if I have to hunt you down I swear to god

Today 3:32 AM
Ran, I...

I messed with the wrong people and I'm facing the consequences

I think it might be best for the both of us if I stay on the down low for now

Today 3:34 AM
Shinichi????

Shinichi what do you mean?????

Voice call
No answer
Voice call
No answer
Voice call
No answer

(Mouri Ran & Suzuki Sonoko)

BFF
Today 5:20 PM
hiii bestieeeeee

hii

did something happen today??? u were knda weird at school today ngl

i didnt wanna brign it up at school cuz those vultures from classb were all over us today

istg theyre the worst

btw why didnt your husband come today??

he likes to show off his Superior Intelect too much to skip class

and i asked one of the teachers and she didnt know anything about it

i bet its a case

its always a case

bet hes holed up somewhere looking at a file like it holds the secrtes of the universe

Today 5:24 PM
?

ran?

Today 5:29 PM
hi

sorry

I don't wanna talk about it

:(

>:(

no i will not allow it

??

ran get ready cuz im taking u to get ice cream

were gonna have a sleepover at my place

im gonna make you feel like a disney princess

ok

thank you

<3


(Mouri Ran & ???)

Unknown Number
Today 00:07 AM
Heyyyyy

So

Don't be mad

I can see you typing, halt this instant

I think you know who I am, I'd probably be a bit offended if you of all people didn't

But anyway

Yes, this is my new number

No, I can't come back, not now at least

I wish I could say that this is gonna be over in a week or two, but honestly, I don't want to lie to you

I'm gonna send some instructions, and later you'll have to delete all these messages from your phone

First, please don't save this number with my real name

Second, if anyone asks me where I am, you don't know

Doesn't matter if it's your dad or Sonoko or even your mom

The less people who know, the better

Third, if you see someone suspicious in black, don't engage, and if possible leave ASAP

Call me if you see them and if you can't call, text me "why don't we go to tropical land later?" and I'll try to get someone to help you

And last but not least, if I ever stop replying please forget about me

...

Please?

For me?

ok...

but you have to prove you are who I think you are

Thank you

That's good enough for me

Also, one more thing, I don't think I'll be able to do calls

Phone calls are very very trackable

so? you're not being very convincing right now :/

Sheesh calm down, I'm just saying it before I forget

When we were 7, we went to school at night looking for ghosts but instead we found a man who said he was my younger brother and gave us a riddle

... and?

... Do you want me to recount the entire thing?

Because I would, you know I would

no, just how it ended

Sunset

You Have Passed

Thank you, I've always been the best in class for a reason

dumbass

do you know how worried I was???

You can chew me out when I get out of this

And believe me, I will

No matter how long it takes

you're making me teary eyed you bastard :'(

Save it, now delete the messages

aye aye captain

what should I save your number as?

I don't know, maybe Edogawa Conan or something?

...

oh wow you're just as bad as I remember

nevermind

Hey, I'll have you know that I have GREAT taste


Chapter 2: The Beginning of Sakura-chan

Summary:

A glimpse in the following days

Notes:

SECOND CHAPTER BABYYYYYY

I've never seen this before from myself, I'm very proud

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

(Mouri Ran &... Sakura-chan?)

Sakura-chan
Today 01:01 AM
So?

What did you change it to?

:)

>:)

I have a bad feeling about this

oh my, why perchance would you feel like that Sakura-chan?

... You have to be kidding me

:3c

How is that any better than the name I picked before!?

it's cute! it's a real name! it's a reference to you!!!

Did you REALLY have to pick that?

always ^^

...

I'll let it slide

But just because it works

thank you, I'll never let you live this down

I expected nothing less

Now go to sleep, it's 1am

neverrrr

(ง︡'-'︠)ง

Goodnight dumbass

goodnight you bastard <3

I'm happy you're alive


(Mouri Ran & "Sakura-chan")

Sakura-chan
Today 05:40 PM
Ran

Raaaaaaaan

I can see you online

what is it?

I'm bored :(

don't you have a project to work on?

I mean

I do, but also we're going nowhere so far and I can't go anywhere either so I'm really bored

you don't even have Sherlock to read?

... I mean-

fuck off Sakura-chan

Noooooooo don't you feel bad about denying your best friend??? :((((((

you know, given recent events, I suddenly don't feel bad at all

...

just kidding

what do you wanna talk about?

I don't know, did anything interesting happen today?

hmmm not really, just the same as always

OH WAIT

SOMETHING DID HAPPEN TODAY

so, you know how my dad has a detective agency

Yes

I can see you typing

shut up and let me finish

so TODAY

this group of little kids came in wanting to become dad's apprentice

stop typing

my dad refused obviously but they insisted and now they're gonna come here every day apparently to learn his ways hehe

they call themselves the detective boys

Lol????? That's so cute!

I do think they should've picked a better detective though

no offense but there really isn't anyone else for them to choose

...

Well...

I heard high school detective Hakuba Saguru is currently in Ekoda...

... you're not possibly suggesting to send some kids all the way to Ekoda just to meet a "reputable" detective for their little play pretend game, are you?

Haha of course not, ma'am!

I'm not suggesting such thing at all!

Your father is a great detective!

Please have mercy on this lowly peasant

pfft sure sure, I shall forgive you this time


(Mouri Ran & Sakura-chan)

Sakura-chan
Today 02:05 AM
Ran

Do you think... I'm a good friend?

what brought this on?

Why do you have to be awake every time I text you?

Anyway, sorry

It's just a 2am thing, I was planning on deleting it after I organized my thoughts

no >:(

if you're gonna be angsty, I want to be here to support you

...

You're a good friend

Thank you, I really appreciate that

But the reason I wanted to delete it before you saw is that this is a massive blow to my ego

ALL THE MORE REASON TO LET ME SEE IT

but jokes aside, are you okay?

Yeah, it's just...

I'm alone and I miss you

But whenever I think back, I realize how much I just... Took you for granted, you know?

I missed your karate tournament

When we went to the park, I was just going on and on about Sherlock Holmes and you didn't even get to enjoy yourself because a case came up

I miss you, but I never listened to you, I don't think I was a good friend

...

Shinichi

that's the second dumbest thing I've ever heard from you

you're a good friend Shinichi

I'd never ask you to change who you are just to be "a good friend"

you love Sherlock! you love cases!! I like listening to my friends talk about the things they love!!!

tell me, who was there for me when mom and dad split up?

who brought me to tropical land when I won my tournament?

sure, you have your flaws, but who doesn't?

you're my best friend for a reason Shinichi

don't EVER think you're not a good friend, or I'm going to find you just to kick it into your stupid head

Thank you

I think I really needed that

Just out of curiosity, what was the first dumbest thing?

that time you forgot sport bras were a thing

HEY

How was I even supposed to know that????

oh, so mr know everything FINALLY admitted to ignorance

I'll let you know I'm VERY humble about things I don't know, you just never had the opportunity to witness it

(◉̃_᷅◉)

You're insufferable

Go to sleep

It's almost 3am

Ah, but before you go, remember to delete everything

aye aye captain

goodnight <3

Goodnight

<3

cused


Notes:

This is my existential crisis chapter

Remember friends, whumping your favorite characters is always cheaper than therapy :)

(the last typo is intentional trust me bro)

Chapter 3: SAKURA-CHAN NO

Summary:

A certain detective finally makes his appearance

Notes:

I heard someone asking for Hattori Heiji~

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

(Mouri Ran & Sakura-chan)

Sakura-chan
Today 05:20 AM
Ugghhhhhhh

Today 06:00 AM
???

what happened?

I'm sick

I got a cold :/

I have nothing to do but they won't let me leave

It's not even that bad!!!! It's just a cold!!!!

do you have a fever?

I mean

It's not a bad fever?

then you can stay grounded :)

last time you said your cold wasn't that bad you passed out and fell down the stairs

IN MY DEFENSE

I was also very sleep deprived that time

Which I am not, this time. Just to let you know.

Sakura-chan, you texted me at 5am

Because I woke up at 5am!!!! That's different!!!!

sure '-')

Today 04:31 PM
heyyyy

Today 04:35 PM
there's uhhhh a weird guy looking for Shinichi

?????

What does he want???

he said and I quote "bring out Kudou Shinichi right now!!! yer his girlfriend or somethin' so you know where he's hidin'!!!"

osakan accent included

Huh

Weird

ok not really those exact words but he was pretty insistent on me being his girlfriend and that I knew where he was because I didn't report him missing

What did he say his name was?

hmmmmmm hold on

Hattori Heiji

OH

HAHAHAHAHA

I KNOW WHO HE IS

So, you know how I haven't been making a lot of progress with my project, right?

yeah?

Stop judging me, I can feel it through the screen

I'm not judging you but ok

Anyway

I started looking up detectives in Japan to pass the time

He's said to be the Osakan version of Kudou Shinichi and I bet the guy isn't very happy about it

ohhhh that makes sense

that's relieving to hear

he was pretty insistent that Shinichi didn't disappear so I thought...

You didn't think anything, Ran-chan ^^

yeah... I guess you're right

oh no I'm really influencing you, aren't I?

I don't know what you're talking about, Ran-chan :3c

horrifying

never text like that ever again

Aye aye captain

:3

NO


(Mouri Ran & Sakura-chan)

Sakura-chan
Today 10:12 AM
hhhhhe's back

Today 10:29 AM
Who's back?

Hattori?

yyyyyeah :((((

he keeps trying to make me tell him where Shinichi is

problem is

I have no idea where Shinichi is

Tell him to go fuck himself

EXCUSE ME?????

Sorry, I'm still sick and staying still is driving me nuts

still sick?

damn, it must be really bad

usually you're fine after a day or two

Yeah...

Anyway, keep me updated on him

I'm REALLY bored

sure 'v')b

Today 01:35 PM
he's back. AGAIN.

I don't know why but I REALLY don't like that he keeps coming back to see you

why?????

Oh sorry, that sounded wrong

Don't worry, I don't think he's dangerous

you do know that makes it more confuskskgksgfiag

?????

Ran?

Ran????

Today 02:41 PM
I'm back

THANK GOD

If you had taken too long I'd have called the police

sorry, Hattori-kun kept trying to look over my shoulder every time I turned on my phone

I'm calling the police

no need the police is already here

????

okay so long story short

I said I was going to meet up with a friend to get him to leave

but instead of leaving like a normal person, he decided to come with me

I was planning to call Sonoko to help me but he kept hovering and I didn't want to unlock my phone in front of him

anyways. turned out I didn't need to call her because almost as soon as we left my dad's agency, there was a scream and boom. murder.

hence the police

A murder, you say?

detectives istg

I'm starting to think all detectives are cursed

Not all of them, otherwise your dad would have more work

Anyways, you mentioned murder?

why would that even interest you, Sakura-chan?

Pretty please?

fine

do you remember Taeda-san?

he was poisoned inside his locked office and the key was in his hand

Hattori-kun already worked out most of the trick, something about a piano string

if I'm being honest, it was kind of nice seeing him piece everything together

kind of reminded me of Shinichi

Something doesn't add up

you gotta be joking

I think I know what Hattori's deduction was but something's bothering me...

???

Ughhhhh I KNOW something is wrong but I have no idea what because I'm not seeing it myself

Hold on a second

??????

what are you gonna do?

Oh nothing, I'm just gonna correct Hattori on his deduction

wait what

nO WAIT SAKURA-CHAN NO

Sakura-chan yes :3

DON'T YOU DARE SHOW UP

goddamnit


(Mouri Ran & "Sakura-chan")

Sakura-chan
Today 04:50 PM
SHINICHI

SHINICHI YOU FUCKING BASTARD

IF YOU DON'T REPLY I'M GONNA HUNT YOU DOWN MYSELF AND NOT EVEN GOD WILL BE ABLE TO STOP ME

IF I FIND OUT YOU DIED I'M GONNA DRAG YOUR SORRY ASS FROM THE AFTERLIFE

Sorry for worrying you

sorry for worrying me? SORRY FOR WORRYING ME?????

SHINICHI YOU FELL DOWN THE STAIRS

YOU WERE HAVING AN ACTUAL FUCKING HEART ATTACK

THAT'S NOT A FUCKING COLD SHINICHI

Sorry

Admittedly, this wasn't my... Brighest idea

Shinichi I'm gonna fucking hunt you down and drag your ass home

that's not normal

you need to go to a hospital

I'm fine Ran

I promise

On the bright side, I was right about Hattori's deduction being wrong!

this isn't funny Shinichi

I could've lost you

I could've lost you again

I'm sorry

I really am

I knew I shouldn't have left but I guess the fever made me impulsive

I'm sorry I made you see me like that

don't you dare apologize for that

the reason I'm angry isn't because you "made me see you like that" you dumbass

why didn't you tell me?

are you okay?

I'm feeling better now

I'm okay, I promise

The worst of it was at Taeda-san's house

okay

I'll trust you

but if it gets bad again, you're gonna tell me

okay?

Okay

I promise

But you have to delete these messages, okay?

...

okay


Notes:

I hope you enjoyed! The next chapter will be a little different so be prepared :)

Chapter 4: Interlude I

Summary:

Shinichi's not good awful very bad day.

Notes:

Hi, I've been wanting to do this chapter since I started writing this fic, I hope you all enjoy :)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Shinichi woke up to pain burning in his chest and sweat clinging to his body.

He blearily turned to look at the clock on the wall, head swimming, blinking rapidly in an attempt to clear his vision enough to see the numbers.

2 a.m. again.

Ran wasn't awake yet.

He turned back to look at the ceiling, trying to fight off the wave of dizziness washing over him. It's not like it's possible to fall when you're already down, but he sure felt like it was.

It was futile to try to go back to sleep. Shinichi would know.

Instead, he shut his eyes in an attempt to get at least a semblance of rest and, not for the first time, he thought about Ran.

It was impossible not to think of Ran, not when she was his best friend and admittedly one of the only people he talked to nowadays.

Even the reason he was persisting through the pain and his failing body was Ran.

His disappearance was a humbling experience. Back then, Shinichi had been so focused on his fame and reputation, boasting to Ran every time he got letter from adoring fans or showed up on TV.
He'd worried about how he'd deal with the repercussions of his disappearance, about how Ran would fare with all the police investigations and conspiracies, but instead he was met with... Silence.

No one had noticed at all.

It was like the name Kudou Shinichi had been forgotten as soon as he dropped from public sight.

It hit him like a punch in the gut.

It made him realize just how much Ran actually cared about him. She'd been the only one to notice and she did it in a matter of hours. It gave him a newfound appreciation of her that he wished he knew how to express properly.

It was then, however, that he came to a horrifying realization.

Would he have noticed if the same happened to Ran?

The answer is obviously yes. Shinichi cares about Ran and they're best friends, of course Shinichi would notice if she disappeared!

But he would have taken longer, so much longer. If Ran didn't answer him after he sent a text, he'd just assume she was dealing with her drunk father or got distracted.
He'd only notice after an entire day had passed, even two or three if he got absorbed by a case. Maybe he wouldn't even notice it at all until old man Kogorou came knocking at his door asking after his daughter.

It made something horrible twist in his gut. The thought sent him spiralling into a pit of despair that haunted him during the nights he couldn't sleep.

It was what fueled him to text Ran that day at 2 a.m.
He had planned to just use it as a way to organize his thoughts and then delete everything before she could see it, but to his surprise, she was still awake.

After she did her best to assure him of their friendship, he didn't have the heart to tell her that he didn't think a good friend would ever lie to her.

Truth was, Shinichi wasn't afraid of death. He was intimately familiar with it considering his line of work, and the thought that he someday may also end doesn't exactly scare him.

But he's afraid for Ran. Ran who cares far too much, Ran who didn't give up on Shinichi even after years of him acting like a massive prick towards her.

He knows. He knows there will come a day when the pain in his chest will stop being just a burning and he won't wake up again.

Shinichi fears nothing more than getting Ran's texts but not being there to reply.

Maybe that's why he'd acted so hastily when she told him about Hattori Heiji.

Shinichi... Was admittedly increasingly insecure about him the more Ran talked about it. Something about Hattori sticking to her side like glue stung a bit.

When Ran called his deduction charming, Shinichi lost all reason and made up an excuse just to run to her before the bastard took her away. He couldn't bare losing the only person who still cared about him.

Upon meeting him, however, Shinichi immediately felt a little stupid about it.

To say the least, Hattori was a particularly intelligent brick.

He was reckless, dense, and if Shinichi had been worried about his own immaturity, Hattori was ten times worse.

The guy didn't care about Ran at all. What he cared about was winning a battle of wits and getting bragging rights for it.

Shinichi... Felt strangely happy.

For all his immaturity, Hattori was like a breath of fresh air. Someone who wasn't completely blinded by his reputation and who could keep up with him.

If it weren't for the situation, Shinichi thinks they'd be good friends.

Getting to see Ran again was also a dream come true. It felt like he'd seen her just the day before, at the same time that it felt like it'd been years.

He hadn't expected his condition to get worse all of a sudden. It'd been... Interesting, really. Seeing Ran, and even Hattori, so panicked for him.

Shinichi thought he was going to die in Ran's arms in that moment, and selfishly, he'd been okay with that. Getting to see the person he loves one one last time before fading away was all he could've wished for.

He would never make her go through something like that though.

Keys rattled distantly, a sign that someone was opening the front door.

Shinichi pushed through the nearly unbearable pain to at least make it out of the house before succumbing completely to it, but he'd gotten lucky.

Footsteps echoed around the house, heels clicking loudly with each step. Were they really that loud if Shinichi couldn't hear them?

If he hadn't been found at the right moment, he's afraid he wouldn't have made it very far.

The door to his room creaked open slowly.

A part of him wishes Ran had been the one to find him.

"Cool Guy?"

"Wake up, Detective."

A faint voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He forced his eyes open, blinking rapidly in an attempt to clear his vision, which didn't make the figure in front of him any less blurry.

Vineyard sighed, and placed a cold hand on his forehead, indicating that she'd been somewhere with air conditioning before arriving. A party, maybe? She was a famous actress after all, he wouldn't put it past her.

She hummed, "Looks like your fever got worse." She flicked his forehead. "Be more careful next time, Cool Guy. I may not be there to help your grand escape next time."

"You don't need to tell me that, I know I was being stupid." Shinichi rasped out, glaring at her general direction. He flinched when he felt her placing a wet cloth over his forehead, but turned to her, trying uselessly to make eye contact. "Listen, Vineyard. If I die, could you... Could you tell Ran?"

Shinichi could practically sense her pursing her lips, although she sounded amused when she spoke, "My, that's quite the tall order."

He shut his eyes. "You like her, don't you? Just- Just think of it as a favor. I don't want her to wait for someone who's never coming back."

Everything was silent for a minute, and Shinichi feared that maybe Vineyard had left to do her "work", but she finally broke the silence with a sigh.

"Yes, should you die, I'll inform Angel. Now hurry back to sleep, Detective, your body needs rest."

Notes:

Haha :D

Chapter 5: Just A Regular Day in Beika

Notes:

Rolling stones workskin by mackerel_cheese:
https://archiveofourown.info/works/63224539

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

(???? & ????)

gf from the org
Today 06:09 AM
hiii!!!!!

it's me!!!!

I know you probably changed your number already, but I wanted to tell you this before I leave

I got a deal

the org is planning on letting me and Shiho go if I manage to steal one billion yen

I know we didn't exactly end things well, but given the circumstances, I don't think we had much of a choice

that's why I was wondering

Dai-kun, when I leave the organization, would you like to go on a date with me for real?


(???? & ????)

Bastard Ex (DO NOT ANSWER!!!!)
Today 05:24 PM
hi

What do you want.

how cold

didn't we end things in friendly terms? :(

State your business, or I might consider telling my superior about you.

no need to put a bounty on my head

i need a favor

... What kind of favor?

an ex of mine is trying to escape the organization

i have a reasonable suspicion that she might get killed

Your own fault, I presume.

how heartless

so different from when we used to date

No use wallowing in the past.

What do you want me to do? It's not like I have the authority to command a rescue team.

don't worry

i have a plan






Subscribe
SCIENCE TO ASHES

RESEARCH LAB COMPLETELY DESTROYED BY FIRE IN BEIKA

The body of a woman has been found among the wreckage, suspected to be lead researcher Miyano Shiho

by HARUYOSHI YUUREI

Media by AOYAMA GOSHO

JULY 23, 20XX


"We are investigating the case," authorities say.

AOYAMA GOSHO VIA NICHIURI NEWS

Residents of Beika were shocked this Tuesday evening when local research lab was suddenly engulfed in flames, threatening to affect nearby buildings. Luckily, however, authorities arrived fast to the scene and resolved the situation before any further damage.

Witnesses report that the fire started at around 11pm, when no employees were present except for biochemist and lead researcher Dr. Miyano Shiho, notorious for her habit of spending her nights in the laboratory.

Authorities suspect that someone could be behind this incident, as the fire spread through the building too quickly to be natural.

Karasuma Group, the main sponsor of Dr. Miyano's research, expressed their sincere feelings for her loss and urged the police to find the culprit as quickly as possible.

When asked to comment, however, most of Dr. Miyano's colleagues expressed their suspicion that the fire may have been her doing, as her sister, her only relative has been reported missing for over a week.

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(???? & ????)

ex bf from illinois
Today 03:59 PM
so

i might have fucked up a tiny bit

u might? lololol

what did u do

do you still watch the news?

nah

https://nichiuri.net/news/fire-in-beika-072320

wait

LMAO????

buddy

i think u fucked up real hard

you don't need to tell me that

this is the funniest shit to ever happen to u

rip

maybe u should also fake ur death

maybe i should

i don't think my ex wants to talk to me anymore :(

LMAO


Notes:

HELLO THERE :D

Do you guys know who the mystery people are? Maybe it's time for some detective-ing on your part...

Anyway, everyone except the "ex from illinois" are characters from detective conan! And they may or may not be relevant :)

Also, I'm not sorry for killing Haibara

Chapter 6: The Great Detective of the West

Summary:

Sakura-chan finally makes more friends!

Notes:

HATTORI HEIJI FINALLY SHOWS UP (REAL)

I mean, he showed up before but it was more of a mention than him actually being here

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

(Kudou Shinichi & Hattori Heiji)

Unkown Number
Today 04:31 PM
Oi Kudou

It's me! :D

Hattori Heiji, great detective of the west











You blocked this number
tap to unblock

(Mouri Ran & Sakura-chan)

Sakura-chan
Today 04:32 PM
Ran

Ran

Ran

Ran

what?

Why

Is Hattori Heiji contacting me

OH

OMG SORRY I FORGOT TO TELL YOU

there was just so much going on that I forgot to mention it

okay

so

when. you know. that happened.

I had to get Hattori-kun to shut up somehow

So you gave him my NUMBER?????

I'm actually kind of surprised he took this long to text you

Ran

what did you want me to do!!!

he was gonna kick up a fuss about it!!!

Ran, do you know how dangerous this is!?

don't give me that

Hattori-kun already saw everything

it'd be much safer if he's in the know too

besides

you need friends!!!!!

I already have friends!!!

Nakamichi-kun and the rest of the soccer team don't count

I know they're really good friends, but they don't know about your situation

I hate to say this, but you're alone Sakura-chan

But I have you!!!

Right?

yes

always

but just me isn't enough!!!!

you need more people you can rely on :(

...

please?

for me?

Fine

But don't blame me if it doesn't work out

YESSSSSSSS

don't worry, it'll work out juuuuuust fine <333333

I'll personally make sure Hattori-kun pays if it doesn't

Please don't

:3


(Kudou Shinichi & Hattori Heiji)

Hattori
Today 04:31 PM
Oi Kudou

It's me! :D

Hattori Heiji, great detective of the west

This number has been unblocked
Today 06:00 PM
Listen

If it were on me, I wouldn't involve you

KUDOU YOU SHITHEAD

But since Ran insisted, you'll have to follow a few rules

WHAT'S WITH BLOCKIGN ME????

First, don't call me by name like you just did

I THOUGHT YUO WERE COOL BUT YOU BLOCK ME JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK YRE THE BETTER DETECTIVE????

Can you stop typing for five seconds and actually read what I'm sending you?

Good

Listen, I'm sorry

I don't know how much Ran explained to you, but I'm not... In a very good position to afford being recognized at the moment

So when you texted me, I acted rashly and blocked you

Yeah I guess it was kinda weird of me to text ya outta the blue like that

Sorry

Since we're on the same page, I think it's time for some explanations

How much do you know?

Not much

Just that you're hiding for some reason

Oh wow, I'm impressed

No deductions from you?

Shut up Kudou

I was being considerate with ya

At first I thought you might be hiding because of that mystery disease of yours based on nee-chan's reaction

But the more I thought about it, some things just didn't add up

Kudou

You were poisoned weren't you?

And not by any old criminal

Whoever did that to ya has enough of an influence that you need to go into hiding

Well, I guess there's no use keeping that from you

How much time?

How much time do you have left?

I... Frankly don't know

After the initial effects of the poison, I was relatively unaffected so I stupidly thought that whatever it was had gotten out of my system

But it's only been getting worse since then

For all I know, I could be dead tomorrow

That's...

Does nee-chan know?

No

Please don't tell her

I don't want her to worry

Kudou

You do know that'll be worse for her later right?

I know

I know, it's just...

I don't want her to suffer ahead of time

I still don't think that's a good idea

Please?

I just want everything to be normal between us

Ok

Thank you

Now that that's settled, there are some rules you need to follow

What a way to change the subject Kudou lol

That

Please avoid using my real name

Don't even save my number with my name

Ok ok what do I call you then?

...

Sakura?

...

Seriously?

Ran was the one who came up with it!!

Still

Sakura's a really stupid name

If you think it's that stupid, why don't you pick a different one?

Like Edogawa Conan

...

Ykw, I think I'll go with Sakura :D

Not you too

Notes:

I actually wasn't planning for this to turn into a discussion about Death winking at Shinichi seductively, but what can we do

Maybe Harumasa is influencing me too much smh

Chapter 7: Parasocial Relationships

Summary:

Everyone is just a little tiny bit too obsessed with celebrities, right?

Notes:

*aggressive coughing* I- *fucking dies*

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Kudou Yukiko✔
@yukikofujime

Whenever I see a plane up close, I am reminded of just how far humanity has come. By my husband. Because his hobby is explaining the history behind everything. 🤗

❤ 1.8M 8:25 AM • July 31, 20XX

135.7K people are talking about this

Near
@nearuniverses

replying to @yukikofujime

Gotta love when celebs just post a random picture of a plane and it blows up in less than 15 minutes.

❤ 2 8:38 AM • July 31, 20XX

hay cap toad
@keromari

replying to @yukikofujime

@ghostyuyu HELLO????? IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS??????

❤ 4 9:00 AM • July 31, 20XX


Kudou Family Fanatic ☆ Yuu-kun
@ghostyuyu

GAMERS, THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL! THE KUDOU COUPLE IS COMING BACK TO JAPAN!!!!!!!! #WeAreSoBack #TheReturnOfTheKudous

Kudou Yukiko✔@yukikofujime

Whenever I see a plane up close, I am reminded of just how far humanity has come. By my husband. Because his hobby is explaining the history behind everything 🤗

❤ 1K 10:46 AM • July 31, 20XX

92 people are talking about this

the one who likes magic
@friedchickennuggets

replying to @ghostyuyu

dude how do you even know that

❤ 1 10:46 AM • July 31, 20XX

the one who likes puppets
@anglerfishcheddar

replying to @friedchickennuggets

dude are you really asking the kudou fanatic how he knows where the kudous are?

❤ 7 10:47 AM • July 31, 20XX

Kudou Family Fanatic ☆ Yuu-kun
@ghostyuyu

replying to @friedchickennuggets

Wonderful question, my dear Watson!
You see, Yukiko-chan's last post before this one was in a beach, which I managed to trace back to Hawaii, if we look at the plane in the picture, we can reach the conclusion that they were in the Los Angeles International Airport, and if you compare the timestamps in the post with the flight schedule, you'll see that the only flight at that specific time with that plane is to Japan! Hope that helps! 🥰

❤ 20 10:50 AM • July 31, 20XX

Momo 💞💞
@drysocks

replying to @ghostyuyu

KUDOUS??????? COMING BACK TO JAPAN???? FOR MES?????

❤ 1 10:55 AM • July 31, 20XX

KID-SAMA STOLE MY HEART ♡ ♡
@dailykaitou1412

replying to @ghostyuyu

kudou stans are scawy...

❤ 1 11:20 AM • July 31, 20XX

Notes:

Hello... Haha... Miss me? You might be wondering what happened!

Ahem. So. It was tax season. So I ended up putting off finishing this chapter because I was kind of stressed. And then tax season ended and I got distracted playing genshin and honkai star rail. And then I FINALLY came back to finish the chapter... And then realized I didn't like it so I deleted it and made a new one :D

Anyway... BUT I POSTED IT, PLEASE DON'T KILL ME- *gets shot*

Notes:

I hope you enjoyed! As you may have guessed, this was made for HTML Tryhards 2025. Make sure to check out the other entries as well! They're all AWESOME!!!!!