Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The last time Scar saw Grian was when he had set off to release the warden. 

Scar at the time, though noting how dangerous it was, didn’t protest it. He had done reckless shit all season and besides, they had long entered the end game and it was the right time to do reckless shit. Victory was within grasp, imminent even. That being said, the possibility of death wasn’t out of the question, but he was nothing if not a man of positivity and hope. That and shear, stubborn will power. 

So, when Grian had suggested the plan, Scar had simply grinned. “Aaaaalighty then Grian, sounds like a fantastic plan!” With a grand swing of the arm he began his carefree waltz towards deep dark’s tunnel entrance. 

Grian stopped, his face contorted in what seemed to be confusion, then panic. “Wait- Scar-”

“What’s the hold up?” Scar sang, glancing over his shoulder cheekily, not slowing his stride just to watch his soulmate scramble after him. When his block was inevitably blocked by his little birdie, he stopped and put his hands on his hips, his grin only widening further. “If we don’t go and capitalize on your marvellous idea now, the others are going to get there first!” He cooed. 

Rolling his eyes, Grian looked up angrily at Scar. The height difference, though not ridiculous, was sometimes a thing that rather amused the vex. “We’re already going to be meeting up with Joel and the others,” He explained impatiently. “And besides, there’s no way I’m letting you go down there,”

Scar gazed at Grian curiously. “Why not?”

The half-avian huffed, the colourful feathers on his wings fluffing up to display his frustration. Scar didn’t understand why he was so worked up. If anything, he was the one with that right. How many times had he proved he wasn’t dead weight?! How long was Grian going to treat him like a setback? A chore? An obligation?

The image of Big B flashed through Scar’s mind mercilessly, every detail of the carefully baked cookies clear and visible in his mind's eye. He felt his smile waver and tried to swallow the bitter emotions down deep into his gut, to fester another day or to be digested and lost to time Scar couldn’t care less. Spitefully revaluating it with distaste however, he tried to remind himself what Grian had said.

“You’re the only one I want,”

Scar took a deep breath and smiled brighter, letting the sight of his love act as warmth for his soul. His secret tactic to keep him this happy. Because every second with him, he truly was happy . “Common Birdie, don’t you believe in me?” He teased. 

Grian huffed again, though this time deflating a little. “Of course I do,”

“Then what’s the problem?” He sing-songed, leaning in closer to his Birdie so they were face to face.

A flustered blush showing on his face, the half-avian stumbled back away, breaking eye contact to stare at the floor beside him. “I just… don’t want you to get hurt,”

“I can take care of myself! I’m an S-tier! You saw me land that water bucket clutch, didn’t you?” Scar insisted, not properly registering the vulnerability in his soulmate's tone.

A small smile spread across Grian’s face as he no doubt replayed the memory. How they had celebrated when they regrouped. He had told Scar that he hadn’t stopped smiling. Scar had told him to just keep smiling. They hadn’t looked back since then, as they ran across the grassland in the dead of night, scattered torches being their only lightsource other than the dim glow of the moon. 

“You are,” He said wistfully, a little beside himself. But then he frowned. “But I want you to stay up here. I don’t want you to go down with me,”

This time it was Scar’s turn to frown. “I don’t understand why you’re being so overprotective Grian,”

His brows pinched, displaying his insecurity and discomfort. After a moment of contemplation, he gave a rejected sigh. “You’re the one who died the last two times and I just-”

Hearing his partner say that to him after everything they’d been through, and after him proving to everyone that he wasn’t a death sentence was akin to being told that everyone he had ever loved had just died in the most gruesome way possible. His lighthearted frown instead settles into a straight line, and he felt as if his eyes had tunnel visioned onto his despondent lover. 

He lashed out before he could help it. “How many times are we going to go over this- I’m sorry! Ok!? I’m incapable and clumsy and thoughtless but I thought that-” His voice broke, the firm strength in his voice disappearing into sadness. “I thought that at least you believed in me…”

Suddenly, firm hands were grasping his shoulders and Grian’s steady, reliable eyes were staring directly into his, not blinking and making Scar feel like time had been frozen. 

“No- Scar that’s not it,” Grian said with power that could level mountains. With steadiness rivaled by only the constant pull of gravity. “I don’t want you to go because I don’t want you to experience dying again. And I don’t want you to feel responsible for me dying, ok? Right- so I’m going to go down there, and you’re in charge of causing as much chaos as you like up here.”

Scar’s eyes darted around Grian’s face, stunned and unable to do anything but study his expressions only to find how genuine he was. 

“Scar, I promise, I trust you more than anyone in this world,” His Birdie softly reiterated. “I just don’t want you to lose trust in yourself if you die. Anyone could die to the Warden Scar; You, me, Etho, Joel, B dubs- anyone. And you proved to everyone, including me, including yourself , how amazing and strong you are. I just don’t want you to lose that confidence now. And to go through the pain of death again…”

Grian’s breath hitched as if being shot through the head by an incredibly terrifying memory. He shook his head, breaking steady eye contact only to look down at their feet, hands shifting to Scar’s collar to grip onto it tightly to keep himself upright as he leant down. 

“I can’t be the one who lets you- I can’t be the cause of your death again,”

The desert. The soft wind. The scorching hot sun. The rough sand. The menacing cacti. The click of flint and steel. Grian’s knuckles covered in red-

Without a second thought, Scar fell forward and hugged his little Birdie so tight, he could have broken the bones of anyone who wasn’t used to his embraces. Grian, however, was very used to them, and after a moment of astonished silence, returned a tight squeeze. 

“If it makes you feel better I’ll stay,” Scar said after a moment, before placing a quick peck onto Grian’s cheek. “Anything for you,”

“Thank you Scar,” Grian breathed. 

Scar giggled like a lovesick teenager and placed another quick kiss on his soulmate's neck before attempting to pull away, only to be grabbed once again by the collar and pulled into a passionate and romantic kiss. 

Pure bliss. It was the only way Scar could describe it.

To have wanted Grian for so long, to have waited for him to love him only to be hurt, and then picked up again in a beautiful, loving relationship. It felt like fulfillment. Like this was all that he was meant to do. To kiss and hold and love his little Birdie with all his heart and soul. Everything felt so right. Everything felt so real. Everything felt so heavy.

All moments have to end, and when they finally parted, Grian whispered to Scar in a breathy voice that made the latter blush, “Stay safe,”

Scar took a moment, but then smiled, something warm, genuine and romantic. “You too,”

They parted ways, leaving their very last kiss in the hazy and nondescript past.

—

The jolt against his rib cage should have shattered it instantly, or at least the force of him being knocked off his horse onto the ground roughly should have finished the job. But instead he was still there. Still alive, and more of all, very confused. 

What had happened? Had someone pushed him?

But when Scar used what little energy he had left to look around he saw nobody, and was instead met with the sickly feeling of slick blood rubbing into the back of his head, through his strands of hair and right into his skin. Letting out a broken groan, he shuffled a little bit. 

Grian was in danger, He had to help-

Another jolt. Though soundless, it felt like someone had just shrieked aggressively into his ears, a low rumble coursing through his gut until all he could do was scream bloody murder. The Warden. It had to be. But it seemed there was little to be done about it now, and as his vision slowly faded, the feeling of his body going numb as he was embraced by the familiar clutches of death once again, all he could think about was Grian.

It was ending. He’d never be able to see his soulmate again. And he’d forgotten to say something so important.

He parted his trembling lips and in a low and pained voice that felt almost foreign he whispered, “I love you, my sweet little Birdie,”

And for a reason that he couldn’t quite describe, he felt his call had been answered.

He passed quietly smiling as the world shut down around him, content with knowing he had gotten to be with Grian. That he’d gotten to be near him. That he’d gotten to love him. He was so grateful that he had gotten to love someone who loved him back. Not many people got that.

Scar had loved Grian.

And deep down he knew that those feelings weren’t unrequited.