Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Hand me the world, wrapped in a pink blanket
The world falls asleep on my chest”

- Growin’ Up Raising You, Gabby Barrett

-

The sun was high in the sky over a block filled world, and for once, everything was okay.

They’d started taking vacations to the outer world recently. The kids had suggested it when Steve started to look burnt out with real life, little trips into the game world so they all could escape. Sometimes they went all together, when their schedules aligned, but often it was two people at a time. Currently it was Steve and Garrett, both able to set their own schedules as store owners and game developers so they could take a few days off.

The whole group knew Steve could go alone and be fine, he knew the world better than anyone else and had survived there for what they believed, using shoddy math and Steve’s bad memory, was about a decade. Still, none of them wanted Steve going back alone, and it was probably because deep down they all worried he’d decide not to come back.

Garrett breathed in the clear air of the overworld, and something in his soul relaxed just slightly. This place wasn’t home to him like it was to Steve, and most of his memories here were downright traumatic, but it was pretty enough. Something in this place during the day was just soothing, with music notes carried through the wind and the smell of the grass. It was different than their world and very different from Chuglass, just not in a bad way.

Steve was running around like a maniac, building things and helping the villagers put the town back together, Dennis running alongside him. They had also all collectively decided Dennis needed overworld time as well, he’d been doing a great job adjusting to his life in their world, but he often looked longingly at the rounded hills and sighed.

“Do you like my chicken statue?” Steve screamed from where he had built a giant chicken out of white wool and was standing atop it proudly with his wolfdog beside him.

Garrett stared up at the giant monolith towering over him and winced, remembering the last encounter he had with a chicken.

“Uh, yeah, rad.” He gave the man a thumbs up, going back to what he was doing. He wasn’t good at the game, so Steve occasionally would make offhand remarks about not having time to do something, and Garrett would kindly help out. Right now he was building a pond for the weird frilled pink things Steve had gotten cave diving, using the pink wood because it was the coolest looking.

They’d been there for a day in their world’s terms, but many days in the overworld. Steve had been showing him around to all the places he’d built statues and houses in, all the caves he’d explored, and all the secrets he could think of. His smile didn’t fade even when he face planted into a tree, he looked… at peace.

Steve abruptly jumped down, throwing down a water bucket to break his fall as Dennis teleported behind him. He bounced over to look at the pond Garrett was making. It was deep in some places, shallow in others, and actually looked pretty nice.

“Wow! I like the trees growing in the corners, and the islands!” The bottom was a mix of sand, clay, and stone and there were river plants Garrett must have gone diving for. “No offense but I expected a hole.”

“Asshole, I had a pet fish once, I know how to make a fish tank. There’s even a cave since they like caves, and I picked some plants for the island in the middle.” It had been something to do, better than sitting on his butt the whole time while Steve had a great time.

“They’ll love it!” Steve immediately dumped in three of the weird fish lizards things into the water and cooed as they swam down into the cave and explored, chasing after the pond fish and brutally killing a few.

They weren’t not cute, he supposed.

“None of these things were here when I first came here, it’s amazing. They just appeared as the years went on. It kept things interesting, even when new monsters showed up.” Steve talked about his days in the overworld constantly, it had been his life for a decade or more and had brought him more joy than real life ever had. It was interesting to hear about the world he knew nothing about, and all the things Steve had discovered in it.

They ended up sitting on chairs Steve had cobbled together and waiting for the sun to set. Once it got dark they’d head inside, but for now they just talked about life. Steve was easy to talk to.

“Hungry?” Steve had been occasionally eating whole steaks as he built, but Garrett had been mostly eating chicken legs every few game days.

“I could eat.”

“What do you have on you? I ate all my meat. There’s more in the house I just don’t want to get up.” They’d hiked a few days from the village into the Steve’s World section and had built a house together for the temporary stay. Steve probably could have built a better one by himself, but he insisted Garrett pitched in. It was made of pink wood and blue wool and had two stories and a loft, while Steve had dug out a deep basement labyrinth underneath that Garrett avoided unless he had to get something from the chest room.

“Wood, sand, and a lot of plants.” He’d spent most of the day building the creature pit and had run out of potatoes a while ago.

“Hang on, I got this.” Steve threw down a crafting table he’d quickly made and placed down two bowls. “Just dump the plants in. I’ve only done this once and it gave me night vision.”

This was probably a bad idea, but whatever.

Garrett pulled out the mushrooms and flowers he’d gathered and dropped them onto the table, watching as there was a poof and two steaming bowls of stew appeared. They bubbled ominously for a moment, chunks of mushroom and leaves floating on the surface as a smell that wasn’t bad, but was very unique, wafted through the air.

“See! I told you it would work! Eat up, I want to stay up tonight to get more ender pearls.”

Garrett picked up his stew, the words ‘suspicious stew’ appearing in his head the way all item names did. He gave it a sniff, smelling a nutty and planty smell. Would definitely be better with meat, but it would suffice. He’d eaten weirder things when he was younger.

Together both men shrugged and drank the stew, which wasn’t bad.

“High five!” Steve threw up a hand, Garrett immediately slapping it on bro instinct.

The moment their hands touched there was a weird shiver that ran down their spines, like the world itself momentarily glitched around them, the bees pausing and the sun freezing as the world went completely still, the sound of distorted wind chimes the only sound drifting through the air.

If this were really just a game, Garrett could have sworn it had just lagged.

They both blinked. The bees buzzed, the wind blew, the sun was dipping lower behind the hills, and the world came back to life like nothing had happened at all. The only strange thing was the silence, desolate and yawning as the world seemed to hold its breath.

“Weird, it’s still starting to get dark. Maybe it didn’t work.” Steve sighed and slapped his knees as he went to stand. “Whatever, we can just skip the night. Come on Gar-“

He was cut off by a wail that tore through the air. Not the wail of a mob, but the distinct helpless cry of a baby that made the world truly jump back to life.

Both men were out of their chairs in a second, tripping over themselves as they whipped around to stare at the ground behind them.

There, sitting in the grass, was a moving bundle of cloth, and it was definitely where the sound was coming from. The wailing was quickly becoming more angry and desperate the longer they stared. It was moving, weak little pushes against the fabric from something beneath.

“Should we poke it?” Garrett took out a stick and motioned poking the bundle.

“No, man! It’s probably a villager baby, I’ve never heard one like that before but we shouldn’t hurt it. Pick it up.” Steve looked at Garrett like he expected something out of him.

“Why me!?” His fingers throbbed with phantom pain as he remembered the last time he’d tried to comfort a crying baby.

“Kids like you! Just pick it up!” Kids definitely liked Steve more, but Garrett just rolled his eyes and inched forward. If it was a baby villager they just had to bring it back, no problem. If it was a baby zombie he’d whack it with the stick he purposefully hadn’t put away yet.

He carefully used the stick to move aside the cloth, revealing a screaming infant.

It wasn’t a villager. In fact, it was a very tiny, very angry, very not square human baby.

They both stared in shock at the wailing baby, then at each other, then back at the baby.

“What-“ They both realized the sun had fully set and night had fallen around them, the baby’s now hiccuping sobs quickly attracting many mobs. “Shit! Grab it!” Steve pulled out his sword as Garrett hurriedly scooped up the baby in what he hoped was the correct hold, hurrying down the path and inside as Steve began to fight off the small army after the baby.

Inside the well lit house he got a better look at it. It was definitely a baby alright, with pale skin and fuzzy red-orange hair and a bright red face from all her sobbing. She was only wrapped in the wool and nothing else, tiny fists gripping the blanket.

“Uh, shhh, it’s okay baby! Shhh!” He held her against his chest and bounced her gently, swaying his body in the way he was pretty sure was right and singing rock songs quietly until her sobs setting into hiccups.

Steve and Dennis rushed inside, slamming the door behind them and making her cry all over again.

“Steve!” Garrett snapped, glaring murderously as he rocked her more.

“What did I do? Sorry, sorry, I killed most of the zombies but there are a few skeletons and I don’t have my shield. How’s the kid?” He crept closer, peeking at her blotchy face as she settled into an exhausted sleep.

“She’s okay, I think. What’s she doing here? We’re so far from the portal.” What would have even happened, someone running into the mineshaft to drop a baby in the portal? Did a wolf drag her in? They’d put a fence up around the outer world portal to prevent wanderers, but it was possible.

Steve looked a bit cornered, starting to pace the room.

“I have a theory.”

Garrett raised an eyebrow, motioning with his head for him to continue since his arms were full.

“In this world when animals eat the same of a specific food a baby animal appears, and it works on villagers too.” At Garrett’s wide and angry eyes he threw him hands up. “I didn’t think that applied to humans, especially us! We’ve eaten the same food before, it had to have been the stew!”

“The stew you said was safe?” He asked through clenched teeth, the sudden weight of realization that he was somehow a parent now washing over him. They’d somehow collectively given birth to a baby and there was no going back, he was a dad. This was not how he planned this to go. It wasn’t as if Steve was the worst person to raise a baby with, in fact he’d probably be Garrett’s first choice if he had to pick, but this wasn’t something he was ready for!

“It didn’t do this last time! It must have been the plants in it, or something. The first time I used one of those funky fire flowers.” Steve seemed stressed by the situation, but still oddly calm in the face of a sudden baby appearing from thin air.

“I didn’t even have those ones!” Garrett had put in mostly random flowers he’d found growing on their trip over to decorate the pond, and mushrooms. None had been the fire flowers.

They both paused as the baby made a quiet whine, hearts softening a bit as she wrinkled her little nose.

“What do we feed her? Does baby formula exist in this world?”

“I’ve never seen it. There’s cows, but I don’t know if it’s safe. We should probably head home tomorrow.” Steve tried not to look disappointed at his three days off ending early, but Garrett could see it in the line of his shoulders and shifting of his eyes.

Garrett adjusted his grip on her, panicking when her limp neck went floppy and he quickly had to support her head.

“She’s so floppy! I thought they weren’t supposed to be this floppy!” He made sure to support her head after that, shushing her grumbles and apologizing to the limp necked infant.

Steve managed to craft her a diaper of wool and iron, holding it up and scrutinizing it. It looked a bit big and not very absorbent, but it was better than nothing.

“How do we..?” Garrett laid her down on one of the beds, staring at her.

“I saw this on a commercial once!  This part goes under, and then you wrap it? I think? And we fasten these?” Steve looked nervous as he lifted her little legs and fastened the diaper, which was definitely too big for her.

She had fallen into a deep sleep as Garrett scooped her back up.

“We should probably try to skip the night.” The baby was grunting and sucking and chewing on her hands in her sleep, she wasn’t going to be patient long.

He sat down on the bed, leaning back as he cradled the baby and closing his eyes with a sigh. Usually once they both laid down there was a flash of black and night was over, but this time sleep wasn’t coming.

“You’re thinking too loud.” He complained at Steve, who was staring at him from across the room. “Just move your bed over here so you can be closer to her.”

Steve immediately jumped up and broke the bed, running over to turn Garrett’s into a mismatched double. He hadn’t meant to move it that close, but he didn’t say anything.

Steve laid back down, eyes still open and staring at the baby, occasionally flicking up to stare at Garrett as well.

“GarGar?”

“Yeah?”

“I think we’re parents now.” Steve hadn’t ever planned on kids, not really. He liked kids, but his goal had always been mining and nothing else. Settling down and having kids never was a priority of his.

Garret stared down at the tiny thing in his arms.

“I want to name her Alex.”

Steve reached out to gently rub her downy orange hair.

“Alex is a good name.”

Garrett didn’t mention that it was the name of a badass female fighter in Hunk City Rampage. Steve probably wouldn’t care, it only made her cooler, but he would just tell him later.

He ran a finger over her palm, startling as her tiny hand wrapped tightly around his finger. She was so small, so tiny, and her little hand was holding him tightly like she was holding him in place.

She cracked open her eyes, a brilliant green that Garrett had seen in the mirror his whole life, and for a brief second it almost seemed like she smiled, and then she was back to dozing.

“Guess she likes you! I’m jealous.” Steve smiled as he brushed his calloused fingers over her tiny knuckles and watched her hand flex.

“I’m obviously the better choice.” He had the energy to banter back somehow, finding solace in the familiarity of it. Everything was changing, but Steve was still Steve.

He tried to pull his finger back so he could adjust his hold, but Alex angrily grunted and squeezed tighter.

“Sorry kid. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

Steve closed his eyes beside him, and Garrett leaned back and closed his own.

Finally the darkness settled over them and daylight appeared through the panes of glass by the door, but both laid in bed a little longer just to watch the little baby breathe.

-

Steve managed to craft a baby onesie out of dyed wool and they carefully fit it on her after they both winced and gagged their way through changing her dirty diaper. For a cute little button, she had some nasty things come out of her.

She was starting to idly fuss, hunger starting to build as the hurriedly packed up the essentials and left the house behind to treck back to the portal back home. They’d fashioned a sling for Alex so they had both hands free, Steve currently wearing her on his back as he glanced at the compass. They’d placed a lodestone by the portal and given everyone compasses once they’d first come back, for emergency measures. Everyone also had their own maps now. Nobody wanted a repeat of the girls getting lost, even if they found their way there on their own. The world was potentially endless, and there was an ever growing map wall Steve had built over the years that everyone took notes on.

Garrett chewed on a cooked cod as he walked, eyes constantly darting over to the bundle on Steve’s back.

She was so small, so tiny, so helpless. He was trying to focus on the journey, on the ground beneath his feet and the sky above, but his attention was drawn to every little movement. It was driving him insane! She was just a baby, he’d seen babies before, she wasn’t special. She was stinky and loud, he shouldn’t feel like he was going to panic every time he couldn’t see her face.

“My turn.”

Steve glanced over, the compass disappearing into wherever things went when they weren’t holding them.

“Huh?”

“Hand her over, it’s my turn.” He felt like he was a kid again demanding his little brother give up the Atari controller.

Steve looked like he was about to say something against it, but taking in the determination and borderline desperation on Garrett’s face he thought better of it.

“Sure man, whatever you need.” It wasn’t as if Steve didn’t want all the cuddles, he loved kids! But Garrett seemed to need some baby time right now. They didn’t know what was ahead, what would happen topside, and they were both holding her a little tighter because of it.

Garrett looked much less stressed once Alex was slung to his front, one hand resting against the infant just incase the sling failed somehow. Alex was sleeping, grunting and making all sorts of baby noises that Garrett didn’t know babies even made. He hoped those were normal.

Steve paused their journey to kill a zombie that had gotten stuck under a tree, stabbing it and smiling as Dennis attacked it. There was a momentary sound of wind chimes, making Garrett pause as Steve picked up glowing yellow and green orbs that disappeared in his hands.

“What was that?”

“A zombie?” Steve rubbed his sword on a grass block until it didn’t have gore and returned to the path.

“No, the sound, the balls that came out of it, what was that?”

“Oh! I call it xp, it comes out of everything you kill, but you can get it from anything. Weird, I should have a lot more.” Steve could feel it when he lost xp when enchanting or repairing items, like a mental number had lowering suddenly, but he hadn’t even noticed how low the number was until he thought of it.

They reached the offline portal just as she started to really fuss, clearly hungry. Steve put the orb into the crystal and it came to life, their connection to the world reestablished in a swirl of blue light. They didn’t want to risk people discovering the portal and getting trapped in the world when they left, so it had become a rule to keep it off when not in use. There was some danger involved in being fully and completely cut off from the real world, but they hadn’t thought of a better solution yet.

They both hesitated at the portal, staring at the swirling blue as Garrett’s hand tightened against the bundle.

“What if something goes wrong? What if she can’t leave? What if she explodes!” They were valid concerns!

“I’m sure it will be fine. Probably. Hopefully. Dennis was fine and he was born here, weren’t you bud?” Steve scratched Dennis behind the ears, his tail wagging. He’d been glued to whoever had the baby at the moment, but he’d bounced over to Steve when he’d heard his name.

Garrett took a deep breath and scooped her out of the sling so he could hold the crying infant against his chest.

She fit perfectly in his hands as one hand supported her butt and the other cradled her head, his fingers brushing against the soft orange peach fuzz. She grumbled, eyes screwed shut and mouth in an angry pucker as she whined. So wrinkly and splotchy and pale, and the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

He stepped through the portal.

Chapter Text

They stepped through the portal, the blue fading from their vision as the dark mineshaft came into focus around them. There was no light coming through the tunnel that led to the outside world, and Garrett had no idea what time it was. The overworld always messed up his perception of time.

The cave was cold, Alex shivering and immediately beginning to cry as he hurried to wrap the sling around her. Her meager wool onesie didn’t seem to be keeping her warm enough against the cave’s chill.

“Shhh! Shhh, it’s okay princess!” Steve came through behind him, rushing over in a panic as the baby fussed and cried. It had only been a few hours since her ‘birth’ but clearly she was starving. From the little he knew about babies he knew that they weren’t patient creatures, especially when food was involved.

Steve floundered for a minute as Garrett bounced Alex.

“Can I-?”

“I’ve got her.” He didn’t mean to sound clipped, but it came out harsher than he planned. Steve just took it stride, squatting by the locked chest they’d placed next to the portal and putting in the combination. Phones couldn’t be used in the Overworld, they’d tried and nothing ever went through, probably because of the other dimensions lack of cell towers or internet, so they’d all taken to leaving important items and technology in the box to be safe until they could get back to it until they could figure out a way for calls to connect between worlds.

Steve pulled out his phone, a flip phone because he insisted that anything with a screen bigger than three inches was plain wrong, and started to peck at it.

“Who are you calling?” Garret covered Alex’s ears by pressing the side of her face to his chest while he covered the other ear with his hand, not wanting to yell in her ear as he spoke over her screaming.

“Someone who can help.” Steve didn’t know many people, but the ones he did know were badasses.

“Hello? Steve? Why are you back already?” Came a sleepy and confused voice over the tinny speakers.

“Natalie, what do we feed a baby?” Steve rushed out in a single breath, the baby wailing clearly in the background.

“What? A baby? Why do you have a baby?!” She instantly sounded awake and alert. There was shuffling and a click before her voice came back sounding done with their shit. “At 4 in the morning?”

“Long story, she’s hungry, what do we do!”

There was a loud groan, and then more shuffling and quiet cursing as the teenager rolled out of bed.

“Meet me at the grocer in 15, the 24 hour one, I’ll get Henry up and call Dawn. I better get an explanation, I swear to God Steve.” She sounded frustrated, but she paused, and then sighed. “Love you both, see you soon.”

Natalie always said I love you to any of the group before hanging up. She’d eventually admitted it was because she hadn’t said it on her last call with her mom. It had taken them all time to earn it. Dawn took two weeks, Steve took two months, and Garrett only got his first one a few months ago.

They got to Garrett’s parked car and let Dennis cram between them since there wasn’t a backseat in his car. On the trip there he had sat on Steve’s lap, but obviously that wasn’t an option right now. Garrett reluctantly handed over the angry baby and started the engine. Steve technically could drive, his license didn’t expire yet, but he wasn’t good enough at it for Garrett to trust him with his precious car or his life, and especially not Alex’s.

Both men screamed as the radio kicked on at full volume, blasting 80’s classics with so much force the windows rattled as Garret flailed at the dial until it turned down.

“What the fuck-“ Steve yelled over the baby’s now ear splitting screaming. “-was that?!”

“80’s hits! Usually I like the radio loud when I drive, okay!” He defended himself as he slammed the car into drive and started off, ears ringing with the tune of ‘You Shook Me All Night Long’ as he navigated away from the abandoned mining district and back towards town.

Alex was irate the entire journey, struggling against Steve and screaming with all the force of her tiny little lungs in the silent car. Steve was singing to her as he rocked her, making up lyrics about hurting ears and magic babies.

They pulled into the grocer parking lot to see the group assembled, Henry leaning on Dawn and still in his pjs as Natalie stared them down with crossed arms. She… did not look pleased with them.

“Holy crap there’s an actual baby.” Dawn stared at the infant losing her mind in Steve’s arms. “Once I figured out I wasn’t dreaming I figured you two tried eating poisoned potatoes again.”

Natalie was in work mode, striding over to look over the baby with a critical eye.

“She’s small, maybe a month or two? No solids or purees, just formula should be fine. Come on.” She was like a professional as she led their ragtag group into the store, the tiny bell announcing their arrival to a deserted store. It was a wonder the owner kept the place open 24/7 when they barely got customers after 8, but in this town it was the only store to do it, so technically they got 100% of the business after other stores closed, as meager as it was.

The clerk was deep asleep at the checkout, startling awake at the bell and looking bewildered that people were actually in the store at this time.

Henry waved as they passed, and the clerk just watched as a strangely square wolf bounced along beside them. He laid back down, what a weird dream.

Natalie forced a plastic basket into the boys arms as she grabbed her own, a force of nature as the marched to the baby section.

Garrett stared at the wall of formula. For a small town store, the shelf of metal cans stretched before him dauntingly.

“There are so many kinds, and they’re so expensive!” They looked like protein powder, all boasting about brain growth and not having bad things like gmo in them. He didn’t know what gmo was, but it was probably a good thing it wasn’t in there.

“We’ll try gentle just in case, we can try the generic later. You three go grab some necessities.” She waved the three boys while her and Dawn hunched over her phone while she googled brands, pointing them towards another shelf nearby.

The three wandered to the other wall that had all the other stuff. There were racks of rattles, binkies, and toys, as well as shelves with things like car seat covers, seat mirrors, bottles, and changing pads. Garrett had never considered what a baby needed, but clearly there were a lot more things than he thought.

“What’s a necessity?” Garrett picked up a sippy cup and shook it in front of the baby, who just pitifully sobbed against Steve’s neck.

“I don’t know. I thought they just ate, slept, and pooped. What even is that?” Steve picked up a box with his free hand and squinted at the picture of the box, recoiling in disgust when he realized it was a tube to suck snot out of a babies nose, and the other end went in your mouth.

“People eat baby snot here? I know slime balls can be used in crafting, but to eat it? That’s just gross.”

All three men grimaced as Henry took the box and read it.

“There’s a filter so you don’t eat the snot.”

“Still gross.” Garrett picked up the next weird thing, a bottle with a conical attachment to the top. He pressed it to his ear like a conch shell.

“Garrett, that’s a breast pump.” Henry helpfully supplied.

Garrett shoved it back on to the shelf with an apology, not quite sure who he was apologizing to, probably the universe as a whole, but needing to anyway.

“What about this one?” Steve picked up a strange pacifier looking thing, but instead of a nipple it had mesh.

“I think you put food in it so they can chew on it or something.” Henry unlatched it and stuck a finger inside the mesh, wiggling it around.

“Is this diaper cream or something?” Garret grabbed a small tin ointment container and went to try and unscrew the cap.

“That’s nipple cream.”

Garrett slammed it back down on the shelf.

“Why the hell do I keep getting the boob ones!? What does a baby need nipple cream for?!”

“It’s for moms who breastfeed. Natalie went on a ten minute rant once about how she never would because your nipples can crack.” They all shivered at the thought.

“So what does she need then?” They all stared at the wall.

“Give me a second.” Henry pulled out his phone and typed for a minute before beginning to read. “Infant car seat. Stroller… we don’t really need that right now. Diapers! We should get those. Wow, there’s a lot of stuff on here. Uh, bottles are a good place to start.”

They all turned their gaze to the shelf filled with bottles. There were a lot of brands and options, most being tubes, some having curves, and one being weirdly round. Garrett reach out to touch it, but stopped himself. That one was totally meant to look like a boob. He discretely pulled his hand back.

“Can we open the boxes and test them?” Steve asked, already reaching for a box when Henry swatted his hand.

“It’s against the rules to open stuff in stores. Also, germs.” They often had to brush Steve up on etiquette from living off the grid for ten years, he never minded.

“How do we know the one she’ll like then?” Garrett picked up a box of three normal shaped bottles and read over the item description. It also bragged about not having bad three letter stuff in it.

“We guess.” The three all began to read, talking over the babies pitiful sobs as they compared brands. They settled on a pack that had multiple sizes and nipple kinds, since apparently there were different nipples by age.

“Now, I guess we just grab other stuff she might need.” Henry listed off a few more items from his phone that they grabbed, like burp cloths, rash cream (this led to more deliberation before they settled on one), baby powder, and a blanket. Steve insisted on grabbing some toys and rattles even though Henry said she wouldn’t show interest for a while, saying that his baby would know how to play young.

Alex took a breath and let out another scream of rage. Steve calmly ignored Henry’s protest and busted open one of the packs of pacifiers, popping it into the baby’s mouth. She looked indignant, but her eyes slowly drifted shut as she sucked furiously on it while making muffled angry noises.

They ended up in the clothes rack next to the baby stuff, holding outfits up to the baby. They guessed she was in newborns, but the pickings were slim for that small of size. They grabbed what they could, going to multipacks of onesies, pants, and socks.

Garrett grimaced at a shirt that proudly said ‘eat local’ and had a drawn pair of boobs.

“Why is everything for babies about boobs!”

“They eat from them? That one is weird though.”

“Any luck?” Natalie appeared from behind them. “We settled on a brand, but grabbed a few little ones in case she doesn’t like it.”

“We still need diapers.”

“Dawns on it.” Natalie pointed at the woman standing near the diaper wall.

“I’m on it!” She yelled, holding a box over her head in triumph.

They made their way back to the checkout, Natalie pausing and grabbing a large jug of water.

The cashier looked even more bewildered the second time they woke him up, scanning their items with slowly blinking eyes and drool stuck to the corner of his mouth.

When Natalie paid with Garrett’s card, his account had most of the money since Steve didn’t have access to his old bank account yet, the Clerk gave them a thumbs up and laid back down, closing his eyes and ignoring them even as Natalie started to open the packages.

“Pay attention. First you take the bottle and add, let’s start with 4 and see how she does, ounces of water. Then you add two scoops of formula, one scoop for every two ounces, cap it, put your finger over the nipple, and shake it. Any questions?” She took the baby from Steve, gently shoved her in Garrett’s arms, and handed him the bottle as she plucked the binky from her mouth.

He stared at the baby as a look that could only be quantified as pure and utter betrayal washed over her face and she took a large shaky inhale. He rushed to put the nipple in her mouth, cutting off her furious scream. She angrily hummed at it for a moment before it registered and she latched on, tears still falling from her tightly shut eyes. The bottle soothed her, but the fact it had taken so long, the fact she’d been starving, the fact she was so small and defenseless, she continued to cry even as she drank. It made his chest squeeze painfully with a mix of guilt and more that he wasn’t ready to dissect yet.

“How do you know all this?” Steve asked as Natalie put everything back in the bags and herded them back outside.

“I babysat for extra cash as a teenager, now why in the nether do you two have a baby?” She turned on them once they were all back outside in the cool air of the dawn.

Steve and Garrett looked at each other, and then away in a hurry.

“Well, uh, explain at Game Over.” Even though the place had been renamed The Overworld, the group still called it Game Over to make things easier. He didn’t want to have this conversation in the parking lot of a grocery store at 4 in the morning.

She didn’t look happy, but marched back to her car anyways, dragging Henry with her. Dennis rode with Dawn this time, giving the boys an apologetic look before bounding happily back over to his new owner and hopping into her, thankfully farm animal free now, car. She had her own mini petting zoo now that didn’t require keeping them crammed in her car.

Handing Alex over to Steve was even harder the second time. She was so focused on eating that she didn’t make a noise as she was passed over.

Steve took her with care, smoothing the fading pink blotches of her face. For a thing that screamed louder than an exploding creeper, she really pulled on the heart strings. She relaxed into his arms, fitting perfectly into the crook of his elbow. Steve glanced at Garrett, catching his eye as he repeatedly glanced over.

“She’s pretty cute, ain’t she?”

Garrett’s grip on the steering wheel visibly tightened as Alex grunted, only relaxing when she continued to drink.

“Yeah. She’s cute.”

-

They all ended up in the back room of the store that had become the home base for the group. Alex had chugged the bottle and let out a huge burp when Natalie instructed them how to pat her. She’d spit up a little, but Natalie said it was normal.

They’d put her in a real diaper and sleeper and she was currently conked out in Garrett’s arms. He’d all but demanded her back once she was dressed and content.

“So?” Natalie motioned at the baby. “Where’d you two steal a baby from and should we be on the run right now?”

“We uh…” Garrett glanced at Steve, and then down at the baby. She had green eyes like him, and when he looked closely, she totally had Steve’s nose. His face grew warm.

“We kind of made her?” Steve finished, scratching the back of his neck.

“Like on a crafting table?” Henry looked curious, probably running through the combinations in his head that could make an infant.

Both men shook their heads.

“Like in the bird and the bees way?” Dawn made a vague motion between the two man, who both turned red.

“No!” They both yelled. Garrett spluttered, Steve was great, really great, his best bro in the whole world even! But there was none of that going on. He probably didn’t want it to anyway.

Garrett shushed Alex as she stirred, bouncing her as she drifted back off.

He continued to speak in a loud whisper.

“She just appeared after we ate soup!”

“Stew actually. We high fived, and boom!” Steve mimed an explosion, then pointed at the baby. “Magic baby appears.”

“So like when wolves both eat meat?” Dawn  hadn’t been to the overworld much due to her busy schedule, but occasionally went over to care for her wolves, and she’d accidentally made a puppy feeding them.

“It works on all animals, and even villagers, but it’s never made a baby before with humans, it had to be the stew!”

“Well what was in it?” Henry already had his notebook out, no doubt ready to record the new finding.

“Well…” The man glanced at each other. “We don’t actually know.”

“There were mushrooms and some flowers, I’m not sure which ones.”

Natalie face palmed.

“So you’re telling me you guys threw random plants in a bowl and drank it? How are you not dead?” She sounded very disappointed in them. “We’re lucky a baby is the only thing to come out of that!”

“Hey, last time it gave me night vision!” Steve defended himself, looking properly chastised by the teenager.

“Or you hallucinated it!”

“Hey! That only happened with the potatoes!”

Garrett was busy looking at Alex. He was doing that a lot. She was cute when she slept, cheeks flushed and lips parted as she let out little gurgles and snores. A bit of white drool leaked out of her mouth, gross. He used the neckline of her onesie to wipe it.

Natalie gave up on arguing with Steve and looked over at Garrett and the baby, face softening for a moment before she looked conflicted again.

“So where do we go from here?” She leaned over to run a finger through the baby’s fuzz.

“What do you mean?” Garrett looked up, chest tightening at the expression on her face.

“Alex, right? She doesn’t exist. There’s no birth, no records, no mom. We need to create a cover story and report her to the authorities so they can’t try and take her.”

Take her?

Alex made a noise of discomfort as his arm tightened around her. He forced his muscles to relax with a quiet apology, seeing Steve was just as tense.

“Can we say we found her?” Henry was still rubbing his eyes, but he looked a little more alert with all the excitement going on. He also stared at the baby a lot with a look of wonder. Garrett would have to let him hold her later, when the thought of her not being in his arms didn’t make him sick.

“Then we have no legal claim to her.” Dawn had her laptop out and was busy clicking away. “With how small the town is we may be able to foster, but we want to make sure she stays with us. We need a reason for her to stay with us.”

The room lapsed into tense silence as everyone mulled over the problem.

Natalie’s eyes lit up as a metaphorical lightbulb went off and she pointed at Garrett.

“You!”

“Me?” Garrett blinked.

“Yeah! We can say that someone you-“ She glanced at her brother. “-spent time with dropped her off.”

“Oh, why me?” He didn’t mind that much, but everyone was staring him down.

“Minor.” Henry raised a hand.

“Engaged, she’s also the whitest baby I’ve ever seen.” Dawn chimed in.

“I’m working on furthering my career and she’s your baby to begin with.” Natalie put her hands on her hips again, giving him a look that reminded him of his mom. He didn’t like it.

“What about Steve? We both made her!” This whole situation was starting to sink in, slowly and steadily.

“We’re still working on getting me off the missing persons list.” Steve winced apologetically. “Don’t worry though! She’s both of ours, and I’m going to help raise her!”

Garrett tore his eyes from Steve’s kind face and stared down at the tiny baby. At her long lashes and wrinkly forehead, at her fuzzy hair and tiny hands.

Shit. He was really doing this. For the rest of his life, he was going to be a dad. He had to raise a human.

Holy shit.

Chapter Text

3 - First Night (ready)

-

They all made a plan and dispersed. They’d call Alex in when morning came and hopefully everything would go off without a hitch. For now though, everyone needed sleep.

Steve had been staying with Garrett for a while now. He hadn’t had a place to go back to when they’d first moved over, and the temporary move into Garrett’s spare room hadn’t ended even when he had the opportunity to leave. They were both content as roommates, so why mess with something that worked? It was nice not being alone all the time, for both of them.

Natalie had gone on and on about safe sleep, but they’d forgotten to get a crib at the store and nobody had time or energy to get one, so Alex spent her first night home in a cardboard box with a blanket in the bottom.

They’d both showered and changed out of their adventuring clothes while the other watched over the baby. Garrett had stood in the shower for longer than he’d planned, just staring at the shower wall and trying to grapple with the new responsibility sleeping in the next room.

Garrett finally pulled himself from under the soothing water and slipped into the worn sweatpants and cropped tee he liked to sleep in. They were years old and worn out, but they gave some level of comfort that he needed.

Steve was sitting beside the box with Alex in his arms, rocking her and looking every bit like a dad. He looked like this was meant to happen, like it was right. He looked… Garrett didn’t know the right words to describe the pull in his chest, but he forced the confusing jumble of emotions away.

Steve looked up at him, already staying something about Alex when the words trailed off.

Garrett waited for Steve to continue, but he was still silent.

“Steve?”

The older man blinked rapidly and shook his head quickly before his easy going smile was back.

“Sorry bout that, GarGar. Got distracted for a second, so as I was saying, Alex was fussing a bit so I picked her up. This binky is definitely her favorite out of the three pack.” Sure enough Alex had a binky in her mouth and was back asleep. She sure slept a lot. Natalie said it was normal for a baby her age, but it made Garrett a little antsy.

Garrett nodded, setting an alarm on his phone for her next feed in two hours. Natalie hadn’t been sure if she’d wake when she was hungry, so had told him to set alarms just in case.

Soon Alex was back in her box and Garrett was in bed, but Steve was hovering in the doorway.

Garrett sighed. They’d shared a bed for twenty minutes in the overworld, it wouldn’t be that weird.

“Come on, just sleep in here.”

Steve smiled, or better said, he lit up like the sun. Soon his nightlight was plugged in (the need to have a constant light source to keep monsters from spawning hadn’t faded even with the safety of the real world) and he was laying on the other side of the bed as they both curled around the cardboard box.

Steve wasn’t a light sleeper, he’d spent years sleeping and tuning out the sound of monsters and animals, but the unfamiliar feeling of something else moving in bed pulled him from sleep.

He sleepily murmured for Dennis to settle down and sleep, but when he cracked open his eyes to track down the wolf he instead saw a room he didn’t recognize. It wasn’t one of the many houses he’d built over the years, not enough squares, and it wasn’t his new room that always felt too empty.

He used the dim light from the nightlight to search the room, eyes landing on the shape sitting at the edge of the bed. In the dark it almost looked like an enderman, but his brain had finally woke up enough for him to realize it was Garrett. He was in Garrett’s room, in his bed, and there was a baby beside him.

He started to ask Garrett if he was okay, a lot of the group had been having nightmares and while Garrett avoided the topic he often looked tired or rubbed the marks on his shoulders, but the quiet sound of the man talking made his mouth snap shut.

“You scare the shit outa me, carrot top.” Garrett’s voice was gravely and exhausted, but deep fondness hung heavy in each word.

Steve carefully leaned up enough to peer into the box where the baby was supposed to be. Empty, as he expected.

“You’re so small and weak, can’t do anything yourself. You’d die without us. Kinda fucked up to put that all on us, huh?” He chuckled weakly, shifting before a quiet kissing sound was heard. Alex stirred, but settled when Garrett shushed her.

“I’m not mad at you, kid. I feel pretty sorry for you, getting me for a dad. Good job picking Steve though, he’s going to spoil you so much.”

Steve knew he shouldn’t be listening to this conversation, that he should roll over and plug his ears so Garrett could talk to their daughter in private, but he couldn’t. Garrett never opened up about anything and hated showing any weakness. He was getting better about it with Henry’s pestering and Natalie’s unshakable belief in therapy, but progress was slow and Steve was man enough to admit he was willing to violate his GarGar’s privacy in order to hear his real thoughts.

Garrett sighed, shifting again and making Steve duck down and pretend to sleep as he started to rock the baby in his arms.

“What are we gonna do? You have a grandma, what the hell do I tell her? What happens now? There’s supposed to be time to prepare for this kind of thing, get your soul ready and life ready, but here you are, and yesterday you didn’t exist.” Garrett shifted again, laying the baby down and leaning over the box for longer than he needed to.

“I’ll do my best. Promise.” He sounded almost desperate as he promised their daughter, settling beside her with an arm in the box so he could feel the rise and fall of her chest.

Slowly his breathing evened out and he drifted off to sleep, leaving Steve to stare at the ceiling.

He supposed he hadn’t really thought about the future and how big of a change this was to their lives. He was a go with the flow kind of guy, adapting on the fly and learning to live with it. It was how he’d managed to live in the Overworld for a decade, how he’d managed to survive there at all when it was a completely different world.

The baby, Alex, was a big change, and he was a dad now, but the thought didn’t stress him out. It was crazy, but if it happened it was always meant to happen, and he had confidence everything would work out in the end. It always did.

Steve rolled on his side and out his own arm in the box, resting his hand over her tiny one and falling asleep.

-

Garrett woke up to fussing. He groaned, very confused as he tried to bury his face back in his pillow and go back to sleep.

Alex!

The sudden rush of memories made him sit up, squawking as his momentum was stopped by his arm being stuck. He blinked sleepily down his hand still in the box, now with Steve’s hand wrapped around it.

Steve had one hell of a grip.

Garrett carefully extracted his hand from Steve’s, refusing to take note of how his calloused palms from years of using tools felt against his skin. He didn’t have time for that right now, one crisis at a time was all he could handle right now.

He checked the time, about ten minutes before his alarm was set to go off anyway, and canceled it, sneaking off to the kitchen to make a bottle.

He stared at the formula cans on the counter.

What was it again?

Thankfully the can itself had instructions on it, which he followed as he measured the water and added the scoops. He supposed babies weren’t able to eat it raw like protein powder, it also probably didn’t taste good.

He tasted some just out of curiosity, immediately gagging on it. Alex sure seemed to love the stuff, but damn was it gross.

He headed back to the room with her bottle, gently scooping her up and heading to the living room to feed her.

He settled on the couch with her in his arms, smiling slightly as she eagerly latched and began sucking down the formula.

“There, life’s not so bad now, huh?”

She blinked wet green eyes up at him, tiny fingers flexing as she clenched and unclenched her fists. Already training, she really was his kid.

He was tired, but it was okay. He’d let Steve take the next feed at 5.

She finished and be burped her, then managed to change her with minor difficulty and put her back to bed.

Steve sat up as he climbed back under the covers.

“S’it my turn?” He slurred, bleary eyes scanning the room.

“Not yet, go to sleep.”

Steve obediently rolled over and passed back out.

Garrett found he couldn’t go back to sleep. Every time Alex grunted he had to sit up and check on her, which was a lot. Google said it was normal and part of their digestion process, but he still found himself checking on her until he gave up and sat against the headboard so he could see into the box.

She was sleeping peacefully, face occasionally twisting as she grunted or make other soft baby sounds.

There was a possibility things wouldn’t go their way tomorrow.

There was a chance that they would take her from him. See him as an unfit parent, or doubt his story, and his baby would be gone.

Would that be better? He wouldn’t have to shoulder to responsibility of another human’s life and he could just keep living the way he had been. She’d probably get a loving home with a new mom and dad and grow up normal.

So why did the thought of her not being with him make him sick to his stomach?

“I’m a pretty selfish guy, huh?” He asked her as he stroked the side of her flushed cheek. He wasn’t giving her up without a fight, even if he had to abscond into the overworld and raise her there. This was his goddamn baby, he’d made her and he was her dad.

Realizing that sleep wasn’t coming he got up and started to tidy the apartment. Dawn said that they’d do a house check before deeming them a suitable environment, so he was just getting a head start. It was a use for the anxious energy he couldn’t get rid of.

He fed Alex again at 5 even though it was Steve’s turn. The man was fast asleep and snoring like a train, and Garrett was a deeply selfish man deep down. He needed to feed her, to hold her, just in case.

She laid on a blanket in the ground as he cleaned, looking around and moving her little limbs.

He met her eyes from where he was cleaning under the couch, sending her a tired smile and getting a grunt in return.

If they took her away today, would she remember him?

The sudden thought made him freeze, one arm still under the couch and his eyes locked in his baby.

Would she remember his face? His touch? Would she remember the safety of Steve’s arms? Or would she grow up her whole life never knowing about her dads and how much they loved her?

Alex yawned, little arms stretching up above her head as her eyes closed.

He turned his attention back to cleaning under the couch. The stakes were far too high to slack off.

When Steve rolled out of bed at 7, he found a spotless house. He wandered around the bedroom, looking at the confused yet determined organization of all Garrett’s belongings. It continued on into the living room where Garrett was sweeping. The couch had pillows on it, Steve didn’t know that couch had pillows.

Alex was on a blanket on the floor, staring at the ceiling as she contentedly sucked on her binky.

“What time is it? Why didn’t you wake me up?” He yawned, back cracking loudly as he stretched and went to sit next to the baby. “And what’s with the spring cleaning?”

“Couldn’t sleep, fed her since I was up anyway.” He didn’t sound normal, voice rough and eyes bleary as he dumped the dustpan into the trashcan. “Can you change her? I changed her at 4 or so, but she probably needs a fresh diaper.”

“On it!” Steve reached over to grab the open sleeve of diapers and pulled one of the absurdly tiny things from it. He grabbed her wipes as well, setting them beside him and unzipping her tiny onesie as she squirmed. He carefully pulled her arms and legs free, setting it aside and undoing her diaper.

She only whined a little as he changed her, falling back into contentedly staring at the ceiling when he was done. She was only clad in a diaper, tiny belly rising with each breath.

Steve dumped out the shopping bag of baby clothes, tilting his head at the selection.

“What screams ‘I’m a cool fucking baby’ to you?” He laid out the packs of onesies and pants, some plain and others with simple patterns.

Garrett crouched beside him, squinting at the options.

“Girls like flowers, right? What about this one?” He pointed at a onesie covered in flowers and leaves.

“We can pair it with these!” Steve grabbed a pair of pants with a completely different design and art style of flowers.

They dressed the baby in the clashing patterns, proud of themselves.

Steve made puppy eyes at Garrett until he made coffee for the both of them, the coffee maker still confounded Steve, while Steve made breakfast. The microwave was thankfully simple enough, and old enough, that it wasn’t hard to remember how to use, so two frozen breakfast burritos were thrown in.

Garrett mixed a scoop of protein powder in with his coffee, wincing at the taste as he drank it.

“We have to call them soon.”

Steve didn’t ask who the ‘them’ was referring to, they both knew. The cops. They had to report the baby’s presence so they could establish themselves as responsible people before someone else reported the sudden baby.

Garrett knew the part he had to play. A baby had been dumped on his doorstep with a note that the mother, an unnamed woman he had a one night stand with, didn’t want the responsibility and was giving up the baby. That would establish her as his baby and primary caretaker, and take the mother out of the picture.

He mentally recited his story over and over, trying to remember the words Natalie had used.

He could do this.

Oh god, he was going to puke.

He felt a steadying pressure on his shoulder, looking over to see Steve’s hand on it. The man was directing a calm smile at him, like everything was going to be okay.

“You got this.” He said, so confident in Garrett despite knowing what a fuck up he could be.

Garrett dialed the non emergency line, taking a deep breath.

He explained the false story to the concerned dispatcher, telling her about the baby that had been left on his doorstep that was definitely his daughter, how he didn’t know her mom’s name or anything about her, and that there was a note. The dispatcher had assured him that she’d send an officer over, but it may be a while since it wasn’t an active emergency and the infant was safe.

Then it was back to waiting. Garrett hated waiting.

He tried to go back to fussing over the apartment, but every time he went to adjust a cushion or pluck a piece of lint off the carpet Steve pulled him into conversation.

“I know what you’re doing.” He grumbled as Steve once again redirected him from vacuuming for the third time.

Steve smiled, easy going and confident.

“The house is fine, you’re going to blow them away with how good it looks. Now sit down before you clip through the ground.”

Garrett wanted to protest, but he was running on fumes and sitting sounded pretty good right now. He sat beside Steve on their worn couch. He’d found it by the side of the road years ago and loved it to bits despite its wear and tear, he hoped the authorities wouldn’t take points away for it. He’d hung a blanket over the back since he remembered seeing that on a magazine cover once, which conveniently covered the large patch he’d had to sew on to cover a large hole.

Steve put an arm over the back of the couch, effectively keeping Garret sat in place. He could probably still get up if he really wanted, but the weight against his back and neck was enough to calm the need for movement.

They both watched Alex kick her little legs and wiggle on her blanket, a toy next to her that she showed zero interest in even when it had been placed in her tiny hands.

“Are you worried?” Garrett didn’t look at Steve as he asked, still looking at their daughter. Steve had been calm all morning, so calm that Garrett wanted to throw a pillow at his face. Why was he the only one worked up about this?

“Of course I am!” Steve caught him off guard with how passionately he responded, shifting so he could look up at the other man.

“Then why are you being so chill?”

“Because there’s nothing we can do right now. We’ll figure this out, and we’ll keep Alex. We beat Malgosha, we can handle this no problem. Besides, I’m not afraid to punch a cop if it comes down to it.” That got a startled laugh out of Garrett, even though Steve didn’t sound like he was joking at all.

Garrett found himself leaning more into Steve’s side as he began to talk about what Alex’s first build would be, muttering sleepy replies as he closed his eyes just long enough to make them stop burning.

He started awake at a knock on the door, pushing off Steve’s chest where he’d been apparently cuddling. His face burned as he muttered an apology and stood up, forcing that can of worms to the back of his mind and focusing on the real problem. There was another knock, his heart pounding out of his chest as he started toward the door.

“You’ve got this!” Steve cheered him on from where he’d moved to sit beside Alex, having a confidence in Garrett he couldn’t even begin to understand.

Garrett opened the door, blinking in confusion when the woman at the door was familiar.

Dawn? What was she doing here?

He opened his mouth to ask Dawn what was up, but she cleared her throat and talked over him in a professional and curt tone.

“Hello sir, we’re here to help with the… unexpected situation you’ve found yourself in. Mind if we come in?”

He finally took in the other people around her. One was clearly a police officer and the other was dressed in a business casual style and holding a clipboard. He had completely forgot Dawn was a social worker.

“Uh, yeah. Sure, come in.” He stepped aside as the three people entered, heart in his throat.

They all walked in to the living room to see Steve shaking a toy ring of keys over the infant, who was gurgling and kicking her little legs.

Steve greeted the group, effortlessly treating Dawn like a stranger.

“Thank you for calling us in, I’m Dawn, this is Janet, we are social workers from Chugglass Child and Family Services.” She motioned at the shrewd looking woman beside her, then at the officer who stood off to the side. “And this is Officer Martinez, he’s here as standard protocol.”

Garrett eyed the officer, getting calmly eyed back. The man was slightly shorter than him with tan skin and dark hair hidden under a service cap, posture professional and face neutral.

“Yeah, uh, you’re welcome. I cleaned, it’s clean.”

“How…wonderful.” Janet spoke dryly as she eyed the humble apartment. “Can we see the infant?”

“Of course! Here she is.” Steve gently picked up Alex and stood up, handing her to Dawn instead of Janet. Both men still hovered nearby, but having her in Dawn’s arms felt like the best option.

Alex made a soft noise before settling into Dawn’s arms, putting up with being examined as they looked her over. They had guessed her age was a month or so, but she was so small that she could be younger.

The officer stepped forward, eyes lingering on the infant before he focused on Garrett again.

“There was a note discussed?”

Garrett jumped, then went to get the note Natalie had dropped off at 6. It was simple and plain, stating the baby’s name and that it was Garrett’s turn to be the responsible one, that the mother wanted nothing to do with Alex. Since they were forging evidence Nat had been very cautious making it.

The officer carefully picked up the note with a gloved hand and read it over before placing it in an evidence bag.

“Walk me through everything.” Dawn was speaking to Steve as Garrett and the officer returned from the kitchen.

They relayed the false story and that a friend had dropped off supplies. They showed the formula and supplies they had, but both winced when they asked about sleeping arrangements.

“Her arrival was a surprise, so she slept in this last night.” Steve retrieved the box, getting looks from all three. Janet especially looked like perturbed, mouth thinning to a line as she made another note on her clipboard. “But we’ve been making a list of everything she needs, a friend of ours is picking stuff up after work today.”

“There was a lot going on last night. We forgot. No, we didn’t forget, we just- We got wrapped up. This is the list.” He grabbed the list from where it sat on the couch, now with more stuff on it than had been there before his impromptu nap. Steve had been busy.

Janet took the list and looked it over as Dawn started speaking.

“It’s okay, Garrett. It’s not ideal, but this was a sudden arrival and babies don’t come with manuals. From what I see you guys have done an amazing job so far taking care of her.”

“We brought a car seat with us, it’s secondhand, but I’m not sure it’s compatible with the car out front.” Janet continued to eye the apartment as she began to take notes on her clipboard. Garrett didn’t want to think about why they brought a car seat with them, choosing to look at it like a gift and not an omen.

“It’s an old car anyway, I’ve thought about getting a new one.” Garrett did love that 1977 Pontiac Firebird, she had been his first car as a teenager and bought from his first sponsor check, and his first dev paycheck had gone straight towards fixing her up, but he could afford to get a four door and Steve needed to learn to drive anyway. He hoped his desperation wasn’t as clear as it felt.

Janet nodded, writing something else down. He really wanted to see what she was writing.

“And you, what’s your relation?”

Steve looked a bit caught off guard being addressed, but he quickly shifted into an easygoing smile.

“I’m Garrett’s roommate. I lived off the grid for a while, but GarGar got me to come back to city living.”

Janet looked between them for a moment before writing something else down.

“And you were present when the infant was dropped off?” The officer took the lead again, face neutral.

“Yeah, she was just there all of a sudden, it was crazy!” He didn’t have to lie about that part, she had appeared pretty suddenly. They were just lying about how.

“She will need a full medical evaluation and a paternity test, and you both will need to meet some requirements…” Janet talked out loud as she began to walk through the apartment and take notes, eyeing the gaming posters and 80s memorabilia on the walls and the rack of gaming consoles beside the tv.

A paternity test? She was a magic baby, did she share dna with him and Steve? Would they somehow figure out she wasn’t a normal baby? She definitely had his eyes, and she looked so much like Steve, she had to be related to them.

What if they found something weird? What if they looked at her DNA and found pixels Were they going to take her to run tests on her? Did they find him and Steve unsuitable? Janet’s face was a mask of indifference and the Officer’s was calm, while Dawn was focused on Alex but sending him assuring glances.

“So far I can see that the environment is clean, but your supplies are lacking. I think it would be best for Alex to be placed temporarily in a more experienced-“

Garrett felt a cold chill run down his spine, ice clogging his veins as he tried to get enough breath to speak. He held up a hand and pretended it wasn’t shaking.

“Hey, I know we’re not qualified or whatever, but we didn’t plan for this. She just happened, okay? It’s weird, and I didn’t expect any of this, but that’s my daughter. Look at her face and tell me she’s not mine. We love her, I love her, and I’ll do anything! Just- Let me prove myself.” He knew his tone was too harsh, that he was getting too worked up when instead he should be showing how calm and collected he was, but the thought of them taking his baby was sickening and sent his brain into a spiral.

The social workers eyed one another, Dawn beckoning over Janet and beginning to speak quietly with her. She was still holding their baby, and it made Garrett’s skin tight with panic. They could leave right now, walk out with her and he could do nothing about it.

“Garrett, breathe.” Steve’s hand was back on his shoulder, the man standing beside him and giving him a reassuring smile. Part of Garrett was pissed off at the sight, that Steve could be so calm and collected when the entire world was hanging in the balance, but the rest of him sagged in relief. If Steve was confident, maybe they’d be okay.

Alex made a noise from where she was in Dawns arms, reminding him of just why he was here. He had to stay calm, for her.

“Sorry.” Garrett took a breath, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart as he looked down at his hands. “Nerves.”

“I get it, man.” Steve squeezed his shoulder, and then took his hand away. Garrett mentally punched down the instinct to follow the contact, to seek solace in the touch. He was already being soft enough losing his mind about a baby, he didn’t need to be touch starved on top of it.

Janet and Dawn talked a little longer, speaking in whispers and looking at that damned clipboard. Janet audibly sighed, saying something to Dawn before she turned back to them.

“We will allow conditional placement. Our goal is always to preserve the family unit, after all. I’m going to draft a list of mandatory supplies that you must have together by tonight and Officer Martinez here will take your full names to run a background check. You will also have to bring her to a scheduled doctor’s appointment this week that I will present for. Assuming everything is in order, Alex can stay placed with you during the course of the investigation.” Janet spoke clinically, clearly unsure about the choice.

Steve grabbed him in a bear hug, Garrett hugging him back with all his strength. Steve was talking about how he knew everything would work out, but Garrett was just focusing on his voice and not falling apart.

He shrugged out of the hug when he remembered they had an audience, clearing his throat and stepping away.

“That’s great. Thank you. Thank you so much.” His voice was raw with emotion that leaked through his defenses, pure relief rolling over him.

Officer Martinez briefly took the infant from Dawn as the social worker went to retrieve the car seat, making Garrett’s chest briefly tighten in panic. Strangely, the officer who hadn’t shown anything other than professionalism the entire time seemed to melt a little as the infant snuggled against his chest.

“Here. You have a beautiful daughter.” The cop handed the baby over to him, smiling at her before the look of focus was back and he stepped aside.

Garrett only truly relaxed when Alex was back in his arms, the infant awake for once as she curiously looked around.

Officer Martinez recorded their names in a little notepad for the background check, Steve explaining the situation about not being missing anymore but still being on the list while they worked to resolve the case while Garrett showed the women how he prepped Alex’s bottles and did a diaper change.

Their list included a crib (mandatory), a compatible crib mattress, and a changing table (suggested). He’d already sent a text to the kids asking if they could get one from the store after Natalie got Henry from school.

“We’ll check back in tonight. You’ll get a call sometime tomorrow about when her medical appointment with be, don’t miss it. Before we leave do you have any questions?” Janet had finally stopped writing in her clipboard and was giving them her attention.

“If… If we follow all the rules and she passes all the tests, she’ll be ours for good, right?” Garrett hated how nervous he sounded.

“That’s not up to me, sir.” Janet looked down at Alex, who stared back at her in the wonder filled way young babies looked at the world, and her gaze softened the slightest bit. “But if you can prove you can take care of her, and judge is more likely to grant full custody.”

Garrett sucked in a breath, lungs burning as he breathed for the first time since she’d started to talk. Prove themselves. They could do that.

Steve took the lead and showed the three out of the apartment, politely shutting the door and then sagging against it once it was shut. People were exhausting, and he was desperately out of practice.

He took a deep breath and loosened his posture, walking back into the living room where Garrett was still standing in the middle of the floor with the baby.

“Gare? You okay?” Once he was close enough, Steve could see he was shaking as he held Alex to his chest.

Garrett jumped, inhaling sharply before he shook his head.

“Sorry, spaced out. Let me check if Nat got back to me.” He didn’t put Alex down as he pulled his phone from his pocket and checked his texts.

“She said we should try getting it delivered from ChugMart since she doesn’t get out until later.” He had a goal, he could focus on that. He was fine.

“What’s ChugMart?”

“Oh. Guess it wasn’t there back when you lived here. It’s the biggest store this town has, it killed most of the smaller places. Their electronics department is a pain in my ass, but they’re the only store that carries my brand of protein powder so I suck it up.” There had been a big town meeting to discuss whether the store could be built at all years back, and it was the most heated Garrett had ever seen old people get. Eventually one side won and the store was built.

“Apparently they have an app.” Steve watched over Garrett’s shoulder as he dug through the App Store until he found the app, eyes wide with curiosity. He didn’t really understand apps yet, or smartphones in general. They were only just starting to become a thing when he’d left, and he hadn’t shown ability in figuring them out. He did steal Henry’s phone, a heavily modified IPhone, to play games though.

They both ended up on the couch hunched over Garrett’s phone, scrolling through a selection of cribs. There were a lot of options, but most of them had to be shipped in, so they focused on the in-store options. Steve was pressed into his side, as if he needed to be there even without the factor of them both reading the screen, and Garrett tried to not be so thankful for it.

“This one has drawers, that’s cool.” Steve was drawn to a more boxy crib with a built in cabinet on the side.

“What does a crib need drawers for?”

Garrett tried to click off that option, gritting his teeth when his hand that was still slightly shaky misclicked.

Steve reached over without saying a word, clicking on another option.

“I like the birch wood ones, I always built my fences in birch.”

“That one looks too flimsy.” Garrett didn’t want to choose the wrong one and have the social worker think they weren’t taking this seriously.

Garrett reached over to rub the peach fuzz of Alex’s head as he scrolled, the tightness in his chest waning a bit as he felt the warmth of her skin, only to return with a vengeance when he thought of losing that.

“That one looks safe. Like… really safe.” Garrett pointed at a crib that looked very sturdy and solid, and it also had a drawer off to the side.

“Nothing could get to her in that one.” They didn’t have to worry about mobs here, but there was a silent agreement as they added that crib to the cart. It also supposedly transitioned into a toddler bed, which meant they could use it for longer, and it came with a mattress.

Steve wondered if she’d still fit in it as a toddler, if she’d take after Garrett and grow tall or take after him and be a bulky kid. The thought of her growing that fast sent a pang  through his chest, but he didn’t let it show on his face as he pressed his shoulder against Garrett’s.

“Holy shit! Same day delivery!” Steve pointed at the option at the bottom of the screen excitedly. “That’s sick!”

They settled on a changing table with the same scrutiny and added the few other suggested things to the cart before paying for the delivery.

Garrett hesitated over the ‘place order’ button, eyeing the price. He wasn’t broke anymore, the amount they’d been making back with the playtesting of the game had saved his store, but they’d been scrounging every cent to put back into the company while they finished the game. Garrett had grown up without much money, and he always had a hard time with large purchases.

“She needs it, Gare. It’s okay.” Steve smiled at him, chipping away at the ice in Garrett’s veins.

He pressed the button.

Steve wrapped an arm around his shoulders, reaching across Garrett’s front to tousle the baby’s hair. They both let out a small breath of relief in the quiet apartment, taking solace in the contact, neither wanting to talk about it but both needing it nonetheless.

-

Meanwhile in a diner a few blocks away, Dawn looked between the report she was writing and her coworker.

The woman had been giving her looks ever since they’d left, and as they waited for food to be brought to the table and wrote their reports, she could feel Janet watching her.

“So.” The woman brushed her graying bob out of her eyes, sharp eyes bearing down into Dawn’s soul. “How do you know them?”

“Huh?”

Janet set her pen down and folded her hands, resting her chin on them.

“You would have taken this case yourself if you didn’t, not asked for an assistance role. I trained you, Dawn, I know how you work. How do you know them?” Her eyes were narrowed as she watched Dawn fiddle with her straw.

Dawn sighed, Janet had always been keen on details. It was what made her a good social worker, but it wasn’t fun to have directed at you.

“They associate with Henry, one of my charges.”

Janet’s brows furrowed.

“The boy genius? How do they know a teenage boy?”

“They’re making a game together, Henry isn’t an employee since he’s too young, but it’s his game he’s making and they’re helping develop it. I consider them friends, so I didn’t directly take the case. They’re good people, Janet.”

“So you’re admitting you’re emotionally involved?”

“They’re good people, Janet. Steve is one of the nicest people I know, and Garrett loves Henry and his sister so much. They love that baby, you can see it.”

“Love isn’t enough, you know that. Plenty of people who love their kids can’t give them a good life.” Janet had seen so many cases of people who loved their kids, but couldn’t meet their needs and ended up losing them anyway. She didn’t want to remove Alex from their care forever, but they didn’t seem ready for the responsibility of raising a baby yet.

“Give them a chance. That girl is going to grow up so loved, just watch.” Dawn knew those men were already smitten with baby Alex. They’d do anything for her, and she had the suspicion that, if cornered, things would get dicey fast. Garrett had looked ready to run the moment they’d talked about removing Alex, and she had a feeling he’d make very rash choices if push came to shove.

She, of course, didn’t voice that to Janet.

“Dawn-“ Janet was cut off by the waitress appearing to set down their food, politely shooing her away once the food was set in front of them. “I’ll give them until tonight to have a suitable sleeping environment, if they pass that test we’ll go from there. If I see anything from those two I don’t trust, I will have that baby removed from their care and placed with an experienced foster.”

“Good luck finding one in Chuglass that isn’t already caring for multiple charges.” Chuglass had a shortage of fosters, Dawn herself had needed to take kids home for overnight care when they couldn’t find temporary placement.

Janet met her gaze coolly, but there was the slightest bit of softness in her tone.

“If I have to transfer her out of the area, I will. It won’t be easy. It won’t be nice, but I’ll do it. The kids always come first. Alex is the priority here.”

Dawn picked at her food as they finished up reports, her appetite gone.

-

Back at the apartment Garrett cheered quietly as the delivery order went through, unaware as the future he was fighting for was hanging by a thread.

They didn’t have to wait long.

Less than an hour later of Garrett hogging the baby and pacing the apartment, a notification popped up saying his ChugMart delivery driver had arrived.

He went outside, walking down the wooden steps that really needed repainted and finding a car more beaten up than his and a guy that looked barely older than Nat. An adult, but a young one, with acne ridden skin and tired eyes.

“Garrett?”

“Yeah. ChugMart?”

“Yeah.”

The tired looking man opened the side door of his car to show the two large rectangular cardboard boxes crammed into his backseat.

“The rest is in the front seat.” The young man pulled on one of the boxes, grunting as it refused to budge. “I didn’t load it, they did. This shits heavy!”

Garrett managed to get them out and onto the sidewalk with the guy’s feeble attempt at helping. He raised an eyebrow as the guy went to leave, he supposed it wasn’t his job to bring it inside.

“Hey kid, they tip you?” With how costly the same day rush delivery had been, he hoped the kid got a cut.

“We can’t accept tips, but we get paid by delivery.” He shrugged, driver’s door open.

Garrett dug his wallet from his back pocket, digging out a ten and handing it to the kid.

“Just take it. Thanks, you saved our bacon.”

The kid looked confused, but he gave the man a thankful smile and slid back into the car, pulling away with the whine of brakes.

He managed to awkwardly carry the crib box inside with the large bag contained the mattress slung over his arm.

Steve cheered, waving Alex’s tiny closed fists in the air in celebration.

“Can you grab the other box?”

Steve gave him a salute and a smile, heading outside to get the other box. Steve was strong, likely more than Garrett from all the mining, so he was pretty sure he could get it inside without too much difficulty.

He was right, mostly. Steve got stuck in the doorway holding the box horizontally and they had to rotate it to get him inside.

“SO!” Steve clapped his hands together, making the tiny baby startle and weakly roll her head over to stare at them with her wide eyes from where she laid on her blanket. “How do we do this?”

Garrett grabbed a knife from the kitchen and cut the box open, staring at the panels of polished wood and bag of tools.

“Can’t be that hard.”

(Oh, how wrong he was.)

They started into it with confidence. Garrett grabbed the instructions as Steve began to already try and jam pieces together.

“Damn, I wish I had my crafting table.” He jammed the wooden pieces together with a useless ‘clack’, achieving nothing.

Alex made a noise, staring at them with fascination as she chewed on her fist.

“Why are the pictures so small?” Garrett squinted at the grainy black and white photos of the stages of the crib being built. “And why is half of this in another language?”

“I think it’s upside down.” Steve craned his neck awkwardly at an angle as he read the words.

Garrett flipped the instructions.

“Okay, find part A.”

He didn’t know how much time they had before the social workers would be back to check if they’d complied and he didn’t dare text Dawn to ask about it. He hated not knowing, hated the way the panic of impending doom sunk its claws into the back of his neck. He tried not to think about it.

They used the frustratingly small Alan wrench to screw the panels together as the instructions told them to. It was starting to look somewhat put together.

Garrett went to put the shelf in, pausing when the peg holes it was meant to slot into weren’t there. Slowly he leaned over to look at the back. Sure enough, there were the peg holes.

“Steve. We have to take it apart, this is backwards.” He groaned as he started to unscrew the tiny screws, eyes going immediately to the wheels on the top corners.

“Steve?”

“Yes dear?” Steve was digging in the tool back and Garrett had to physically resist the urge to smack his hands away.

“Why are there wheels on the top?”

“Oh, cause that’s where the holes were.”

Garrett tilted his head inside down to stare blankly at the ‘this way up!’ sticker stuck to the side of the wooden side.

Garrett was going to commit crimes.

Once the crib was reassembled, something that thankfully went a little faster the second time, Steve picked up the shelf to put it in, only to drop in on his foot. Garrett winced sympathetically as Steve cursed very creatively.

Alex let out a loud noise, getting both their attention as she jerkily moved her little arms.

“Glad someone is enjoying themselves.”

They turned their attention back to the crib, only for Alex to let out another scream, this one markedly less thrilled.

Garrett let Steve have a turn feeding the baby as Garrett secured what was way too many screws.

“We’re missing screws! Check your pockets.” Garrett crawled around on the floor looking for the tiny death hazards, starting to panic as none showed up. What if Alex found them?!

“Not in my pockets.” Steve sat on the floor next to him feeding Alex.

“You didn’t even check.”

“I’d know if I had screws in my pocket, check the bag again.”

“I checked the bag!” Garrett snapped, pointing at the caution orange bag that was ripped open and still had screws, but not the tiny bitch ones that he needed for step F.

“Check again?”

“Steve I swear to fu- to freaking god.”

Garrett exhaled hard from his nose, eyes blazing as he shuffled on his knees over to the bag and dumped it on the floor.

He stared at five of the little fuckers mocking him.

“Nevermind.”

(One of them did end up being in Steve’s pocket, they both silently agreed not to gloat.)

Just as he fitted the next screw into place Alex spit up half her bottle on herself on the carpet, Steve shrieking as half of it landed on his leg.

Once Alex (and Steve) were in fresh clothes Steve rejoined him, trying to help jam the top panel in that he had accidentally skipped the step of.

“It’s not going, don’t jam it! I’ll unscrew the damn side panel again.”

“I’ve got it!” Steve pushed the wood, trying to bend it enough to snap into the divot it was meant to be in. The wood creaked ominously at the treatment.

“Steve…” Garrett warned,

“It’s going, it’s going!”

“It’s breaking!”

“No, it’s going in!”

“Stop jamming it! You’re going to-“

The wood gave a long groan and snapped into place as chips of wood ripped off.

There was a beat of silence at Steve reached out and picked up the chips of wood, tossing them in the empty box.

“It worked?”

Garrett just made a face, but he went back to the instructions.

“Wait- now we just put this on, and we’re done!” Garrett pulled the mattress from the box, frowning a bit at the raised sides and firm feel. It didn’t seem very comfortable.

Steve snatched to from his hands and put in on the top of the crib, it snuggling perfectly in the divot.

There was a moment of relief, both men sagging a bit as they looked at the crib.

Really looked at it.

“That…doesn’t look like a crib.”

“Wait. Waitwaitwait-“

He scrambled through the crumpled instructions, flipping pages with shaking hands, heart hammering in his ears. The picture matched. Perfectly. And right above it, in bold blocky letters—

CHANGING TABLE.

Steve and Garrett locked eyes, horror and defeat dawning in both their faces.

Both men slowly turned their attention over to the unopened box by the door.

“That’s the crib, isn’t it?” Steve asked.

“Yep.” Garrett answered.

Alex let out a loud, happy sounding shriek as the two men started to drag over the other box, utterly defeated.

-

It was done.

Holy shit.

Garrett stared at the glorious crib they’d put together. It had somehow been harder than the changing table, the mechanism to change the mattress levels nearly killing them before they managed to get the parts to go together. The world was now dark outside the windows.

Alex was peacefully sleeping on the mattress -the real one- on a sheet decorated with little cactuses. She was in a brown sleeper with fuzzy bears on the feet, and she looked beautiful.

Steve gasped and grabbed his arm, pointing at their daughter as the corner of her mouth quirked up.

“She’s smiling! Quick, get a picture!”

Garrett patted his pockets to find them empty, ready to tear apart the couch to find it when Alex loudly farted and the smile was gone.

A laugh punched its way out as he doubled over, wheezing with the effort as the stress from the entire day made it suddenly very hard to stop laughing. Steve was laughing with him at first, but he trailed off as Garrett’s laughs became throaty and weak. His eyes were burning and he was trying so hard not to blink and he giggled with panic.

“GarGar?”

Garrett managed to catch his breath and stop laughing, leaving him breathing heavily and staring hard at the ground.

Don’t think about the baby. Don’t think about Steve’s grounding hand on his back. Don’t think about Alex being taken away. Breathe.

Steve was gentle as he pulled Garrett to the ground with him, both men leaning against each other as Garrett fought for each breath.

“Just let me go, I don’t- I don’t want- I’ll go to the bedroom, I just need a minute.” Don’t cry. Be a man. Don’t show Steve how weak you are.

The room felt too big, and his skin felt too small for his body. Steve was beside him, but his voice felt far away.

“It’s okay to not be okay, man.” Steve said in that disarmingly soft tone, one arm laid across Garrett’s shoulders as his hand held the side of Garret’s head. “You don’t have to be okay right now.”

But he did. The world was starting to press down on his shoulders and push him under, the world that revolved around the tiny helpless thing in front of him. He had to keep in together for her, to prove he could be trusted with his daughter. Don’t be weak. Don’t be weak. Don’t-

Steve started to stroke the side of his head, and it was too much. Stubborn tears started to leak from Garrett’s eyes, not stopping no matter how hard he wiped at them. His breath started to hitch, small noises of panic clawing from his chest as he had the first breakdown he’d had since he was a teenager and his dad had disappeared.

Steve just held him, not trying to fix anything as Garrett cried out all the stress from the day they’d had. He just continued to stroke his hair and tell him he was doing a good job, which just made the tears come even more.

By the time he could breathe again without it coming out as a sob his knees hurt from the way they were bent and his head was pounding. He leaned hard into Steve’s side, too exhausted to care.

“We still need to move the crib into the bedroom.” His voice was wet and wrecked as his half lidded eyes looked accusingly at the crib.

“I’ll do it. Come on, let’s get you to bed.” Garrett felt himself be shifted, eyes closed to try and ease the pounding headache. He squeaked as he felt himself be lifted , someone he hadn’t experienced since he was a little kid. He wasn’t exactly liftable being 6’4 and made of muscle, but Steve only wheezed a little as he started to carry him to bed.

He didn’t have the energy to fight being tucked into bed, rolling on his side and staring at the wall as Steve left the room.

He was exhausted, but he didn’t fall asleep. He heard Steve talking to Alex, heard him grunt and drag the crib in and didn’t even offer to help. He didn’t even get out of bed when Steve started talking to another person in their house.

“As you can see, we got the crib together. The changing table too, but we’re leaving that out here for now. Gar needed some rest, or else he’d say hi.” Steve talked to someone as he briefly turned on the light and people walked around before the light was back off and Garrett was alone.

Alex made a little gurgle, reminding him he’d actually never be alone again.

He heard more hushed talking in the living room, unable to make out anything. His heart was pounding in his chest. He needed to get up! He needed to go out there and talk to them, find out what was happening, but his body wouldn’t move.

The door shut again, and there were no other voices as he heard Steve walk around the apartment and eventually start the shower.

They had left.

Without Alex.

He wanted to ask, to scream, to get up and hold his baby and do something more than lie there as everything he’d worked for today was finally achieved, but his body didn’t cooperate.

He didn’t even try to stop the tears this time, with no one there to witness them.

Garrett turned to hide his face in his pillow as Steve finally came into the bedroom some time later, smelling like soap as he checked on the baby.

He went to leave, but Garrett managed to get his voice to finally work.

“You can sleep in here again.”

Steve was quiet for a moment, stepping closer.

“You sure? I didn’t want to assume.”

“Yeah, just come to bed.”

Steve climbed into bed next to him, reaching over to give Garrett’s shoulder a squeeze before he settled under the covers.

Garrett only let himself relax once he heard Steve snoring.

He needed to do more. He needed to be half the man Steve was, to be stronger for their baby. He couldn’t let this happen again, he wouldn’t let it.

Chapter Text

Holding Alex the next morning felt better than anything he’d ever accomplished. It was better than learning to drive or buying his Firebird, was more of a rush than winning the gaming championship that had defined his life. It was terrifying how close he’d come to losing her, how close he still was, but right now she was in his arms and everything was okay.

He managed to shower and eat breakfast, and he almost felt human again. Steve didn’t bring up his breakdown yesterday and he was thankful for it.

They called around 3 to update him on when Alex’s appointment would be the following Monday, and he added it to his calendar.

“We should open the store today.” He was exhausted, but he didn’t like not being at the store. It had been his life for years now, and being home on a weekday was weird. The kids had been trying to get them to take paternity leave, but Garrett wasn’t sure if he financially could. Knowing him, he’d probably go stir crazy in the first week.

“We only used two of the three days we cleared, it’s fine. How’s the potato?” Steve liked using different names for Alex, potato was a new one.

“She’s good, I need to start the coffee and she’s taking forever though.” Alex hummed the bottle, using her tongue to push the nipple around instead of finishing it.

“I’ll finish feeding her.” Steve held out his hands for the baby. Garrett hesitated for a minute, selfishly wanting to hold her just a little longer, but he handed her over. She was Steve’s baby too.

He started the coffee and hoped it would fix the chasm in his chest.

-

They got bored halfway through the day and decided to pick out a car that would fit Alex’s car seat.

Nat gave them a ride to the used car lot on her break, giving them a smile and telling them they had this in the bag. She looked a little more sure of herself, more grown up these days and less on edge. Henry said she was finally starting to relax and feel settled in the town. It looked good on her.

Steve held the bulky car seat as the walked through the lot, Garrett dealing with the annoyingly peppy salesman who kept trying to point them towards newer and shinier cars.

“I still think we should get a van.” Steve chimed in unhelpfully, having spent the whole drive over talking about the practicality of vans.

“We have quite a few vans, great for a growing family! I can-“

“We are not getting a van! A sedan is fine, we just need a car than can fit the car seat.” Garrett snapped, the salesman not looking the least bit bothered as he switched direction.

“Okay then! Here’s some good options, these ones have good safety features. What kind of style are you looking for?”

The cars weren’t brand new, some of them looked a little worn and they didn’t all shine, but Garrett felt far more relaxed here than he would at a dealership. He didn’t like having new things. As a kid he’d always wanted new clothes instead of thrifted, but the first time his mother had scraped enough money together to get him a real jean jacket, he’d been so terrified of getting it dirty that he only wore it rarely. He was pretty sure he still had it in one of the boxes in the garage, maybe he could pass it down to Alex one day.

He didn’t want to sell the Firebird. He should, he knew that. He should trade it in and put the money towards a nicer car, but the thought of selling his first car was a lot to handle. That car had been the one he’d left home in, the first big purchase he’d ever made, and as much as a piece of junk it had become, it was his and he cared a lot about it.

He couldn’t part with it yet.

Steve didn’t bring up the Firebird when the salesman asked about trading in, and Garrett felt relieved. Good old Steve, understanding even when Garrett himself wasn’t sure of what he was feeling.

“What do you think of this one? It has a great safety rating!”

They were shown to a grey sedan, clearly a little battered and in need of a wash. He reached out to run a hand over its hood, scowling when his palm came away dirty. It so wasn’t his color, very drab and boring, but it was practical. The car seat perfectly fit into the backseat like a puzzle piece, Alex cooing up at the grey fabric ceiling.

Steve and Garrett both stood by the open back door, looking at their daughter nestled in to the backseat. She looked secure, looked safe.

Their eyes met, and they both nodded.

“We’ll take it.”

Garrett winced at the price as they signed the contract, setting up a payment plan and getting the keys. Alex sat in her car seat by the desk, sleepy but trying to watch the world of the bright office.

“You two have a beautiful daughter.” The salesman took back the contract, looking it over as he glanced at the baby.

“Thanks.” They both overlapped as they thanked the man simultaneously, chipping away a bit at the tension.

They drove off the lot in the car, Alex in the backseat and Steve in the passenger. Garrett’s hands gripped the wheel, thumb rubbing along the stitching where it started to fray, breathing in the clean yet stale smell as he turned on to the main road. Steve was messing with the air vents, pressing buttons to see what they did. Alex was gurgling loudly, and he added a seat mirror to the growing list of things they needed to buy.

It felt…domestic. Strange, but right.

“When we fully pay this thing off and have some pocket change, we’re painting it.”

“I think we should go with cyan!”

Garrett sighed in fond annoyance.

“Of course you would pick cyan.”

“I’ll have you know cyan is the colour of warriors , Garrett.”

Alex let out a loud yell.

“See, Alex agrees!”

Garrett just rolled his eyes and tried not to smile.

-

Parenthood both changed everything, and nothing. Life still went on, days turned to nights, and they grew older one day at a time.

Before he knew it the day of Alex’s appointment had arrived. He had posted on the store’s Facebook page, Natalie had instigated on making them one, that they would be opening late today.

Both men were tired, having been up with the baby on and off the past few nights. She didn’t even want to eat half the time, just cried as they walked around the dark apartment and hushed her until she was back to sleep. It had taken a toll on Garrett especially, Steve looked as peppy as usual as he went about packing the diaper bag.

It wasn’t even a question that they’d both be there. They both got ready that morning as the radio crooned rock songs, both putting a little more effort in than usual. Steve had still picked out a cyan shirt, at this point Garrett couldn’t imagine him without one on, but his beard was kempt and he looked a little less wild than usual.

Garrett had picked out his best whitewashed jeans and a thermal long sleeve, throwing on his beloved jean jacket and tying his hair back. He also put on his trusty pair of fingerless gloves, having the quick thought that he should repaint his nails soon before he got distracted again.

Alex was in a light purple onesie and blue pants, snuggled into her car seat with a blanket to combat the February chill. She had little baby mittens on her hands that had silicone textures for chewing since she’d been accidentally scratching her face. Her diaper bag was next to it, filled with everything they could possibly need. New outfits, a travel can of formula, water bottles, diapers, two baby bottles, and several binkies. Steve had also packed four pairs of socks ‘in case her feet got cold’.

“Did you pack the wipes?” Garrett yelled across the house as he finished checking his hair in the mirror.

“Yeah!”

“Are you sure?” Garrett left the bathroom, ready to look in the bag again just to double check. Out of everything they could forget, diapers and wipes were high on the list of the worst.

“Uh, I think so!” Steve was in the kitchen washing the dishes from breakfast, craning his neck back to try and look as if the closed diaper bag would somehow answer the question.

Garrett sighed.

“I’ll look.”

He rustled through the diaper bag. There was a pack of wipes and 10 diapers, which should be enough. She did go potty a ton though, maybe he should grab a few more…

“Wait! Where’d I put it.” Steve shook off his hands and started to pat his pockets, grinning triumphantly and brandishing something from his pocket with a cheer.

“Is that another pair of socks?”

Steve cheerily put it in the ziplock with the four other pairs.

Steve carried the car seat as Garrett shouldered the diaper bag, stepping outside into the cool air. Garrett had been born up north before his family moved to Chuglass in his mid teens, so he found the winters here downright warm, but he still reached over to tuck the blanket a little tighter around Alex.

He locked the door behind them as Steve started down the path. Garrett looked around the outside of the place they called home. It had a sparse patch of grass for a front yard and it was out in the sticks, but it had been cheap for a two bedroom. He wondered if their family would end up growing out of it one day, if they’d buy their own house. He wished they could just build one as easily as in the game world.

He caught up to Steve as he was placing the car seat. He checked it over when Steve was done just to sooth his nerves a bit, sure enough it was done correctly. The YouTube videos they’d watched about securing car seats had paid off.

He slid into the front seat, still a foreign feeling, and started the car with a raspy growl of the engine.

Steve was taking about an article Henry had sent him about the way babies saw the world as he pulled out. He didn’t know how Steve read things on that tiny little screen, but somehow he always managed.

“Their color vision starts to appear at a week! I wonder if she can see color yet? Dawn said she didn’t look like a fresh newborn even though she was just born.”

Garrett hummed to show he was listening as he merged onto the highway. Once he was on he glanced in the rearview to look at the tiny mirror on the headrest of the backseat that reflected Alex back at them.

She hadn’t figured out the mirror yet and was looking around in the jerky way she did with her undeveloped neck muscles, eyes wide and one mitten in her mouth.

He felt anxiety starting to creep up even as he turned the radio up a few more notches to let the 80s classics serve as background noise.

…what was going to happen today?

What would they find? There were going to give Alex a general check up and administer a paternity test that they’d have to wait up to a week for the results of. What if something went wrong?

The anxiety of them changing their minds and taking Alex anyway had been plaguing him. He’d kept it at bay keeping himself busy, but now, with the road before him and his baby in the backseat, it was front and center in his mind.

What if they decided he and Steve weren’t good enough? That Alex needed a mom? He’d grown up without a dad, he knew the way people judged mismatched families.

They’d already decided that the public story would be that Alex was a planned decision, when they finally revealed her existence. According to Dawn the town rumor mill was slowly starting to pick up on the new baby from newer workers breaking confidentiality to gossip about it. She’d been pissed about it, and supposedly Janet had been even more mad.

He refused to let Alex grow up thinking a nonexistent mom hadn’t wanted her. They’d tell her that she was wanted and loved, and only when she was older would they tell her the circumstances of her birth.

The gps interrupted his thoughts telling him his exit was coming up. He knew this town stupidly well after living here for so long, but he’d never been to the clinic they’d made the appointment at. He probably could have found it on his own, but there had been some comfort in putting it in the gps anyway.

Steve was still talking, occasionally turning in his seat to address Alex so she wouldn’t feel left out of the conversation. It was grounding, even if he couldn’t focus on what Steve was saying.

They pulled into the clinic parking lot with ten minutes to spare before their appointment, Garrett parking and staring at the building.

“You ready?” Steve pat his hand over where Garrett’s was on the gearshift, lingering for only a moment before it was gone.

“I- uh, yeah.” He glanced in the mirror again as Steve opened the car door and started to get out.

It was just a checkup. They could do this.

-

They entered the building and followed the signs to the pediatric office in the clinic. He had offered to carry Alex this time, making a comment about the gains from lifting the heavy thing. Steve definitely knew he just wanted to hold the baby, but he let him have it anyway.

The waiting room smelled like hand sanitizer and crayons as they opened the glass door and stepped inside.

The walls were a cheery yellow color and along the back wall was a giant mural of a jungle full of front facing happy looking animals that were honestly very unnerving with their human looking eyes and wide smiles. He discretely turned Alex’s baby carrier away from the wall. He didn’t want her getting weird dreams from it.

There were parents scattered around the mostly empty waiting room, moms trying to entertain fidgety toddlers while some older kids played on their phones. There was background chatter, but it was mostly quiet save for the occasional cough and the eerie wailing of a child further in the building.

There was a rug in the corner that had a little bookshelf full of tattered kids books and scattered toys, including one of those bead maze toys that Garrett remembered playing with in doctor’s offices as a kid.

A boy, maybe three or four, bolted out of his seat and made a beeline for them with the excited shout of “Baby!”, reaching his grubby little hands out for their precious baby.

Steve immediately stepped in from of the carrier, tense as he put effort into not kicking the kid away. Being around non zombified children was a change, he couldn’t attack these ones.

Garrett lifted the car seat high, pulling Alex out of range as the child’s tired looking mother hurried over and apologized while she dragged her whining kid back over to the toy corner.

They both only relaxed when he got distracted by a toy firetruck, made their way over to the window.

“Hi there! Names?” The receptionist greeted them kindly as they approached the window, her scrubs decorated with cartoon characters and her glasses having little painted hearts at the corners.

“Hello, I’m Garrett, this is Steve, we’re here for our daughter Alex’s appointment.” Garrett adjusted his hold on the car seat handle, worried his sweaty hands would make it slip from his grip.

“First visit, right?” She clacked on her keyboard.

“Yes. Her case worker set it up, Janet Rafferty?”

“Yep! I see you guys.” She gave them a smile and turned in her chair to grab some paperwork, putting it on a clipboard and handing it through the window. “Please fill this out and bring it back to the window when you’re done, the doctor will be with you shortly.”

Garrett took the clipboard, turning to head over to the seating area when the woman gave them a soft smile and pointed at their baby.

“She’s precious.”

Garrett mumbled a thank you as Steve snagged his arm and pulled him towards the chairs. They both sat, putting the car seat on the floor between the chairs as Garrett began to flip through the forms. It was standard but confusing. Insurance information, family history, notes for the doctor.

“When was Alex born?” It was, like, four days ago, but was she actually older? They had been some of the longest and more stressful days of his life, maybe even more than the day they got stuck in the overworld and had to face Malgosha, but he didn’t actually know the dates.

Steve checked the screen of his flip phone, looking at the tiny calendar app.

“It’s February 18th. We got back home on Saturday, but she appeared a few hours before that.”

Garrett stared at the date, letting out a surprised little laugh.

“What?” Steve looked between him and the phone.

“Valentine’s Day. That means she was born on Valentine’s Day” It was cute, he supposed, and it made a little thread of warmth go through his chest. Of course something as beautiful as Alex would come into existence on a day about love.

“Valentine… Oh yeah! I remember that holiday! That’s so cute!” Steve had admitted in December that he hadn’t celebrated most holidays in the overworld since there hadn’t been seasons. He’d loved celebrating Christmas with the group, crafting everyone something personal and wearing an ugly sweater the kids got him with the widest smile.

Now that he thought about it, the kids had been pretty insistent they’d take that weekend off to spend time with Steve in the overworld.

Brats.

He pointedly didn’t dwell on that thought and scribbled down the information about Alex he did know. It was far less than he liked, and he hoped he wasn’t screwing anything up. He left the weight blank since he didn’t know it, they’d weigh her here anyway.

“Wait, she doesn’t have a middle name.” It hadn’t occurred to him that she needed one until now.

Steve was quiet for a moment, then he spoke.

“What about Rose?”

Garrett mulled it over, nodding.

“That’s a cute name, we’ll go with it.”

They both instinctively tugged Alex’s carrier closer as the woman with the grabby kid was called and they walked by, the woman wisely carrying her son so he couldn’t try and touch the baby again.

“Should I include both our family histories? They don’t know she has your genes too, but it’s probably important.” Garrett marked down osteosarcoma as running in his family.

“I don’t actually know my family history.” Steve gave him a bashful smile. “I don’t have any close relatives, I was an only child and my parents died when I was nineteen. I’m not sure how to find that out.”

Garrett had never heard this information before. He hadn’t really thought about it before, but there was a lot about Steve he didn’t know. Steve talked about the Overworld a lot and his time there, but he never lingered on growing up or any of his life before the game.

“Sorry man.”

Steve just shrugged.

“Don’t be. That’s just how life is. My dad and I both used to get bronchitis every winter, if that counts.”

Garrett marked down chronic bronchitis in the family history section, then switched to filling out the insurance paperwork. He’d probably have to call them later to inform them of his new dependent.

He finished up the paperwork and stood to bring it back, catching sight of Alex in her carrier. She was clearly fighting sleep as she tried to rub her eyes and getting frustrated at the teething mittens. Her eyes landed on him, eyes focusing as she made a small noise and wiggled. Looking at her, he felt a mix of hope, and utter terror.

Just then, he heard Alex’s name called.

A nurse was standing by the door the led out of the waiting room, looking at them expectantly.

Garrett nudged Steve and he picked up the carrier as they walked over.

“I finished this, do I give it to you or…?”

“I can take it! Right this way.” The woman, a nice looking young woman in pink scrubs, plucked the clipboard from his hand and tucked it under her arm as she started to lead them down confusing white corridors. There were little jungle leaves and vines painted on some of the walls, but the place still felt like a maze.

“Seems easy to get lost in here.” He joked to ease the nerves.

“It was at first, but you get used to it!

“It’s like being in the mines again, just a lot brighter!” Steve cheerily added in as they turned another corner, arriving at a door with a painting of an uncanny elephant on it.

“Here we are!”

The room was small, still keeping to the jungle theme with big leaves painted on the wall and an exam table in one corner with a counter and sink against the back wall, a computer and stool by the door.

They shuffled inside, sitting in the two chairs  against the back wall as the nurse sat in the rolling stool and pulled up the computer. She began to type in information as she looked at their clipboard, asking clarifying questions as she did.

“A valentines baby? How cute! Was that planned?”

“Not quite. Just lucky timing.”

Alex, or better said Alex Rose Garrison, made quiet little grunts as she chewed harder on her mittens, uncaring as she was talked about.

She asked about how well she’d been eating and if her bowel movements had been normal, and they answered to the best of their ability. While her bowel movements had seemed downright abnormal to them, especially when she had blowouts, Natalie had assured them that was normal.

“Alrighty! Let’s get a weight on this little cutie! I’ll be right back with the scale if you want to get her out of her car seat.” She left them alone in the room.

Steve unbuckled the baby and took her out, her little eyes darting around the room as he tucked her against his chest. She weakly smacked his chest with a mittened hand, and he faked a groan of pain.

The nurse reappeared with a white rectangle that had a slight valley to it and raised edges so the baby presumably wouldn’t roll off. She set it on the exam table.

“You’ll need to strip her down so the scale is fully accurate.”

They floundered for a moment as Garrett tried to hold her so Steve could undress her.

“You can use the table.” The nurse offered, not unkindly.

Garrett gathered the baby from Steve and walked over to the table, laying her on the vinyl surface covered in crinkly paper. He pulled off her little socks and pants, handing them to Steve where he had appeared behind him, and then took off her mittens. She made a triumphant squeak and shoved her freed fist in her mouth, only to make a confused sound when he pulled her onesie over her head.

The nurse carefully took her, apologizing for her cold gloves hands as she laid the naked baby down on the scale.

Alex started to kick weakly, taking a deep inhale and then letting out an impressive shriek. Both man scrambled, hands up as if they wanted to scoop up the baby but not daring to interrupt what the nurse was doing.

“It’s okay! Lots of babies don’t like the scale. Let’s see, 7.4 pounds! What a big girl!” She measured her with a tape measure before scooping up the screaming infant and handing her to Garrett, who hurried to redress her in her diaper.

“Please keep her in her diaper for the exam.” The nurse gave them an apologetic smile. “You can wrap her in her blanket for now.”

She didn’t stop screaming even when she was wrapped in the blanket, jerkily flailing against Garrett’s chest as he tried to soothe her.

“Steve. Steve! Can you grab me a binky!”

“What? Yeah. Okay, yeah.” Steve dug through the diaper bag and grabbed a binky, handing it to Garrett. He popped it in her mouth, holding it in place until she stopped screaming long enough to notice it.

She latched on and grunted angrily as she sucked on it, occasionally spitting it out to scream before he put it back.

“Alrighty tighty lefty loosy, the doctor will be with you shortly!” The nurse took the scale with her as she left, leaving them alone with their angry infant.

“I’m sorry, okay? Be mad at her for making me do that, not at me!” Garrett bounced the angry baby, Steve making it worse by hovering right next to him.

She spit out the binky again, screaming in his ear.

“Steve, she doesn’t like this one. Did you pack any of the ones that have the bend to the nipple?”

“Uh- I’ll check.” Steve grabbed the diaper bag kneeled down to search through it. He thankfully didn’t set the items he took out on the floor, stacking them in his bent arm.

“Found one!” He shoved the rest of the stuff back in and brandished the purple binky, holding it out to Garrett.

There was a quick knock as the door was already opening, a woman stepping inside only to stop.

Garrett looked at her, then at where Steve was down on one knee holding up a binky like it was a ring.

The woman tried to hide her snort behind a cough, but they both clearly heard it.

Alex let out another scream.

Garrett snatched the binky with a burning face, putting in the baby’s mouth and rocking her.

“Hi! I’m Doctor Sanderson, but you can call me Angela! I heard my patient wasn’t a big fan of being weighed?” She was a kind looking woman with blonde hair and kind eyes framed by crows feet. Her name badge had little stickers around the border and her scrubs had smurfs on them, and she was looking at them without judgement.

“She let out quite the war cry, she gets that from me.” Steve grunted as he got off the ground, giving the doctor an easy going smile.

“And are you Steve, or Garrett?”

“I am Steve! That’s Gare.”

“It’s nice to meet you both -and you too, little miss Alex!” She smiled at the infant scowling around her binky.

"You’re doing great, by the way," She added, glancing between them knowingly. "First doctor’s visit is always more nervewracking for the parents than the baby."

“Thanks.” Garrett didn’t feel like they were doing a great job right now, but he’d take the compliment. In truth he felt pretty scattered and stressed.

She sat down at the stool and began to click around on the computer.

“So, I’m going to go over a few things and then we’ll give Miss Alex a good once over, alright?”

She went through a list of questions similar to the nurse had, occasionally asking for clarification about the answer they gave. She asked about her schedule and how often she went to the bathroom, laughing and assuring them blowout were normal just as Nat had.

“Is she sleeping through the night?”

“Not in the slightest. She’s up maybe every hour, but only wants to eat every two. She’ll scream for a while until we walk around the house a few times and then she’ll settle.” Angela looked at the bags under their eyes and winced in understanding.

“Completely and totally normal. The newborn trenches are an experience, and she’ll start sleeping more as she gets older.”

She typed more on her computer.

“I see she’s on sensitive formula, is there a reason for that? Was she spitting up excessively? Gassy?”

“Oh, no. Her arrival was pretty sudden and a friend of ours suggested we use that just in case. It was a bit hectic.” They’d just stuck with that formula since it worked.

“I see, so you can choose to keep her on gentle formula, or we could try switching her to generic and see how she does. Generic costs less overall, but it is up to you guys.” She input a few things into the computer.

Steve and Garrett glanced at each other, silently communicating before Garrett nodded and looked back at Angela.

“We might try that.”

She informed them about a lot of things as she filled out Alex’s paperwork. Such as the importance of tummy time and skin to skin contact. She even gave them two small board books, which Steve tucked in the diaper bag.

“Okay, now I’m going to listen to the little one’s heart.” She stood and took the red stethoscope from around her neck. Garrett immediately tensed, making her smile softly.

“You can hold her while I do it, don’t worry. Just hold her like that.” She adjusted his hold slightly so Alex was on her back in his arms. She pressed the stethoscope to Alex’s chest and listened, nodding to herself. Alex didn’t stop making little grunts and growls around her binky.

“She’s a noisy little thing, isn’t she? Her breathing sounds good, can you flip her over?” She listened to Alex’s back next before putting her stethoscope back around her neck.

“She also gets that from Steve.” Garrett said in a deadpan, but the facade broke into a snicker when he glanced at Steve’s exaggeratedly betrayed face.

“While you’re still holding her, let me swab her cheek for the paternity test. I’ll also be swabbing yours, Garrett.” She was quick and effective as she ripped open what looked like long a q-tip and swabbed Alex’s inner cheek. The baby tried to latch on the cotton swab and made a confused noise as the dry cotton was rolled inside her mouth, then it was gone and Angela had put it in a plastic container. She swabbed Garrett’s cheek next.

“Will I be doing a test on Steve too?” She eyed the babies face shape and her nose, a near perfect match for Steve.

“Uh, no. Just mine.” She was probably related to Steve too, but having two dads show up for the same baby might complicate things.

“Now I’m going to take her for a moment to examine her.” Garrett tensed up again, gripping Alex a little tighter. Angela leveled him with a look that was downright motherly , and for a brief moment it made him miss his own mom.

“I’m not going to steal her, even if she is the cutest little button, I promise.” He let her take the baby and carry her over to the exam table, both him and Steve standing from their chairs to trail behind her

“I’m going to check her head and soft spot now.” She started to explain the existence of the soft spot and its purpose as she ran gentle fingers over the top of Alex’s head. “Feels good! Lots of room for that smart little brain to grow! Now let’s check those hips.”

She carefully rotated Alex’s legs and hips, explaining as she did.

Alex grunted as her knees were pushed towards her chest, letting out a fart.

“Good job Alex! This is also a great trick for constipation, gets things moving! You just move her legs like she’s pedaling a bike, you can also rub her belly like this.” She rubbed Alex’s belly in a circle, making the infant grunt again.

“Alright, let’s check those reflexes before she gives me an unplanned fecal sample.” She laid her finger across Alex’s palm, grinning as the baby’s fist immediately closed around it. “Good! Now I’m coming for those toes!” She touched the bottom of Alex’s foot, to which the baby’s toes fanned out.

“Okay, I’m going to test the Moro reflex now, also known as the startle reflex. It’s not going to hurt her, promise.” She lifted Alex a bit off the table and cupped the back of her head, then removed her hand so Alex’s head fell back. Alex’s arms immediately flew up as Angela quickly supported her head again, the baby letting out a startled cry.

“Good job sweetie, sorry about that.” She glanced over at the worried dads. “It seems I checked your startle responses too, sorry guys.”

She laid Alex back down on the exam table, who looked like she was starting to get fed up with all this.

“Let’s look at that belly now. It looks like her cord fell off already, but it looks good! It’s already scabbed over, so you’re going to let that fall off on its own.”

“So it’s supposed to look like that?” Her belly had looked like that when they’d first changed her in the overworld. It seemed that, like all the injuries in the game, it’s scarred immediately instead of being an open wound.

“Yep! It looks great, and she’ll be happy to hear you can put her onesie back on! Keep her pants off though. Here comes the less fun conversation.”

She let Steve start to redress the baby as she started to explain the hardest part of the exam.

“We’re almost done, but now comes the more important part, her vaccinations.”

Garrett tensed right back up, Steve freezing from where he was snapping the bottom of her onesie.

Angela immediately noticed and went on damage control, hands up and voice soothing.

“I know, it’s the worst part and she’s not going to like it, but the important part is keeping her safe and healthy.”

Garrett let Alex grab his pointer finger in her tiny fist, rubbing his thumb over her little knuckles.

"Most newborns get their Hepatitis B shot in the hospital, but since her situation is a little... unique , we’re starting fresh. Today she'll get that, and her first dose of rotavirus, DTaP, Hib, and PCV vaccines. I know it sounds like a lot, and it is a lot for a tiny body, but it’s very normal, and it’s going to keep her safe from some really scary stuff." She explained as she sent a note to the nurses station from the computer.

“You can stay with her, of course. Some parents choose to hold their babies, others have them lay on the table and pick them up after, whatever you’re most comfortable with.“

“Is it going to hurt?” Steve asked quietly, scooping Alex up to lay her against his chest. He’d been so confident with Alex and the sudden changes in the lives so far, but right now he looked downright nervous.

Angela phrased it as delicately as she could.

“It’s going to be a tiny pinch, and she probably will cry, but I’ll make it as quick as possible.”

She looked between them for a moment, at their crestfallen faces.

"Just so you know, it's okay if you cry too. I've seen plenty of tough dads tear up when that little lip wobbles."

Garrett fidgeted as he stared at Alex in Steve’s arms. His arms itched to hold her, but he didn’t say anything.

Alex was blissfully unaware of the situation unfolding, one tiny fist gripping Steve’s shirt as she pulled it towards her mouth to drool all over. He tried to gently tug the fabric away, but her grip held true, and he gave up.

Garrett swallowed around the lump in his throat as he looked at her. She wasn’t going to understand why they were doing this, that it was for her own good. The only thing she’d know was that it hurt.

Angela was busying herself with the computer, letting them have their moment to prepare.

“Do you want to hold her for this? I don’t think I could handle it.” Garrett wasn’t sure if Steve was just placating him or not, but he did look pretty pale, so maybe not. Garrett took the offered baby, snuggling her against his chest with one hand on the back of her little head. She was dozing slightly, making soft sounds against his neck as she relaxed into him. She felt safe in his arms, and he was about to ruin that.

There was a knock at the door and Angela went to answer it, taking a dish from the nurse who peeked in to wave at Alex.

“You got this, Alex!” She cheered before ducking back out of the doorway.

“Thank you, Mikayla.” Angela closed the door and turned back to the boys, giving them an apologetic smile.

“Let’s start with the not scary one. This is the rotavirus vaccine, and it’s taken orally.” She set down the dish that Garrett could now see had four fucking needles on it, and picked up the medicine syringe that didn’t have a needle.

Alex was a bit confused as the tip was put in her mouth and Angela pushed down the plunger, but she swallowed it, her little tongue sticking out as she opened and closed her mouth.

“Not so bad, right?” She asked the baby as she set the syringe aside. “Now I’m about to make you mad at me. You can keep holding her against your chest if you want, I’ll do two on each thigh.”

She picked up the first two syringes, holding them between her fingers as she swabbed the area of Alex’s tiny thigh with a cotton swab. She took one of the syringes and took the cap off before gently pinching the area.

“DTap.”

The needle slid in.

Alex went stiff, taking a rattling inhale before she wailed. It wasn’t her hungry cry, or her late night cry, this cry was raw and terrified. Garrett felt like he’d been stabbed, cold panic rushing through him as the needle was quickly pulled free and a bandaid was applied. Oh god, she was shaking.

“You’re doing so good, honey. Now Hib.” As Alex continued to wail the second needle was pushed in. Angela held her little leg to keep it from kicking, but the rest of her limbs were flailing, tiny fists beating against Garret’s chest. The needle was pulled out and other colorful bandage was applied.

Angela grabbed the other two needles and moved to the other side of the screaming infant, swabbing her other thigh.

“PCV.”

Garrett couldn’t look any more, but he knew the second the third needle went in by the way Alex jolted and another heartbroken wail ripped from her. She sounded so betrayed, pressing her red little face against his collarbone even as her little fists beat on his chest, she was seeking comfort and punishing him all at once. She had trusted him, and he was letting her get hurt.

Don’t cry. Don’t you dare fucking cry.

He looked over at Steve, expecting to see the calmness that had been there until now, but Steve had a hand over his face and was hunched in on himself while his other hand gripped Garrett’s thigh in a death grip he somehow hadn’t noticed until that moment. He couldn’t hear anything over the heartbreaking shrieks in his ear, but he could see Steve’s shoulders shaking.

Garrett tore his eyes away from the vulnerable display, giving Steve the same courtesy he’d been given. He wanted to put his hand over Steve’s, to give him some measure of comfort, but both his hands were on his daughter and she needed him so much more right now.

“And lastly, Hep B.”

Alex screamed with her whole body as the last shot went in, and Garrett squeezed his eyes shut as he felt a few tears escape. It was over quickly, Angela stepping away to dispose of the needles and giving them a moment of privacy, but Alex was still screaming.

He got her binky from where it had fallen into his lap, trying to sooth her with it as she let out furious screams and pushed at his hands weakly. She was crying so hard it was rattling, and her entire body was shaking. He wrapped her in the blanket even though he knew it wasn’t because she was cold.

She slowly settled into his hold, eyes closed and body jerking with sniffles as she sucked furiously on her binky.

Garrett freed one of his hands to wipe his eyes quickly, telling his girl quietly that she’d done an amazing job. That she was so strong.

He heard his phone start buzzing from the diaper bag. He wanted to grab it, but he didn’t want to jostle Alex.

“Steve?” His voice was shaky.

“Got it.” Steve sounded a little more put together, if barely. “It’s the kids trying to FaceTime. I told them about the appointment today, they probably just want to know how it went. I’ll text Nat.” Steve clicked at the red button and pulled out his flip phone to message Nat.

“Oh, you guys have other children?” Angela asked now that they had mostly collected themselves.

“Not technically?” Steve tried to explain.

“Nat’s 19, Henry’s 13, they’re not actually our kids, but we call them ‘the kids’. We’re technically Henry’s next of kin now, but only if Nat can’t care for him anymore.” It was hard to describe their relation to the kids. They were friends, but also slightly charges. Dawn was their friend, and she was Nat’s friend and Henry’s social worker, and Garrett was Henry’s mentor, but also his friend? And Steve was everyone’s friend. Damn, maybe it would be easier if they just said they were their adopted kids, explaining it made it way more weird.

“Nat helped a lot when Alex showed up, she’d helped take care of her brother a lot and babysat, don’t know what we would have done without her.”

Angela smiled.

“She sounds like a nice girl. My oldest is 25, and my youngest is just turning 17, it’s crazy how fast they grow up.”

The mood had lightened a bit, Alex was still sniffling and both men’s eyes were red rimmed, but the air had cleared just enough to breathe.

“When you’re ready we’ll head over to check out and get your next appointment figured out. I’ll wait outside, just come out when you’re ready.” She gave them one last comforting smile that just radiated motherhood, and then she stepped out and closed the door behind her.

“So. That sucked.”

Steve laughed weakly, leaning over and burying his face in Garrett’s other collarbone as he sagged against him. His hand went up to lay on Alex’s back, feeling her little hitching breaths.

Garrett was slightly startled, but he didn’t try to move Steve off. If he needed this right now, Garrett wouldn’t begrudge him it. Besides, as he rested his chin on Steve’s head, he felt a little better.

“Yeah, that sucked major ass.” Steve said against his neck, beard tickling the skin on his neck that his shirt didn’t cover.

Steve stayed there for a moment, then took a steadying breath and pushed himself off, standing up. He ran a hand through his shaggy hair, giving Garrett a smile. He felt like they’d just defeated a monster together, or survived a natural disaster.

They decided to forgo Alex’s pants and just put her little socks on, wrapping her in the blanket.

“I’ll carry her out, I want to feed her in the car before we leave.” Steve nodded and put the diaper bag in the car seat as he picked it up.

Before they left he leaned into Garrett’s space again, rubbing his thumb gently over Alex’s wet cheek.

“She’s tough like you.”

Garrett snorted at that, as if he was tough. Steve had saved a world. Garrett had saved Henry, and that was a world in itself, but Steve and Henry were leagues above what Garrett could ever be.

He had become oddly okay with it.

“She’s tough like us.” He corrected, making Steve huff a little laugh that sounded like victory as he stepped away and went through the door.

They scheduled the two month follow up visit with a kind receptionist and left through the cheery waiting room and into the mildly chilly air of the parking lot.

Steve put the car seat in as Garrett sat in the backseat, the baby lying across his legs as he made her a bottle. She was still sniffling a little, whining softly in the back of her throat as she sucked on her binky. She hadn’t eaten since before they’d left the house, and it had been several hours.

Before he fed her he quickly changed her, laying her on the backseat and wishing he’d stopped in the restrooms to use the changing table they likely had.

Once she was in a dry diaper, his hands careful around her poor thighs, he settled her in the crook of his arm and awkwardly bent his legs so she’d be comfortable in his lap, and gave her the bottle.

She latched on to the bottle immediately, little fists up by her face as she made hungry little noises around the nipple. Garrett laughed quietly, finger rubbing over her tiny cheek.

Steve was busying himself checking over everything, putting the dirty diaper in a dog waste bag and setting in by the car door so they wouldn’t forget it. He had a nervous energy to him, constantly glancing over at Alex as she ate.

“Steve, just sit.”

“Yeah, okay, I can do that.” Steve got into the front seat and finally closed the door so the wind couldn’t get in anymore. He was kneeling on the passenger seat so he could still see into the back and stare at Alex. Garrett let him have that, he got it.

Alex continued to make her little noises, grumbling as Garrett gently wiped at the tear streaks still on her face.

“You’re such a strong little thing.” He told her softly. “Gonna change the world one day.”

Steve watched them both with unrelenting fondness. It was hard to quantify the feeling in his chest, warm and fuzzy and nervous all at once, but he knew that this was family, one he’d built. Steve had built many things in his life, he’d built skyscrapers and monuments, but looking at the tiny little person he’d made, at the man holding her, he had the thought that this was better than any before.

As she finished he sat her up with one hand supporting her front, her little chin nestled in the hollow between his thumb and pointer finger, and patted her back.

She let out a small burp, startling at it. Both Garrett and Steve smiled at the reaction.

“C’mon princess, I know you can give me a better one than that”. He continued to pat her, only getting another small burp. Her eyes were closed and she was actively trying to sleep sitting up, so he decided that was enough.

Garrett put the sleepy baby back in her car seat, careful as he buckled her in. She grumbled at him, but her little hand was gripping his sleeve. He gently pried it off with an apology, glad she’d forgiven them.

He leaned down to give her a quick little kiss on the forehead without thinking about it, watching her little bald eyebrows furrow at the contact.

“You’re gonna make me soft, kid.” He rumbled softly, getting a confused stare back from the baby. She had no idea what she was doing to him, to them, changing their whole lives and not even being aware of it.

He tucked her blanket back around her so her legs wouldn’t get chilly and adjusted the mirror, then went around to the front seat so he could drive them home.

The engine growled to life, the car rattling for a moment before it settled, display flickering to life. The heaters kicked on with a whirr, warm air starting to blow as the radiator started to heat up. Garrett adjusted the knobs so it wouldn’t get too hot, but would chase off the February chill.

The car smelled like formula and baby wipes, a smell that was slowly becoming familiar.

Before he put the car in drive Garrett pressed his forehead to the top of the steering wheel and let out a sigh. Once he’d collected himself he straightened back up, more than ready to get his family home.

They pulled out of the parking lot, Steve fiddling with the radio until a soft, crooning voice drifted from the speakers. Neither of them knew the song or the singer, but they let it play anyways. The singers voice was mournful and slow, singing a song about grief. It was familiar to Garrett in the way of riding in the back of his mom’s car as a teen, curled up against the door and watching the streetlights blur by.

The exhausted air of the car shifted into a deeper tiredness as they drove through the congested areas of town and towards the sticks. It hadn’t even been that long of an appointment, but Garrett felt ready to sleep for ten years after the ordeal it had been. It didn’t help that they were running off little sleep to begin with. He hoped Alex would sleep tonight after all that, but he had the suspicion she’d get all the rest she needed on the drive and be ready to party once they actually got home.

Steve was leaned against his door, head resting on his bent arm as he quietly hummed along to the radio. He occasionally popped up to peer into the backseat and check on Alex, who hadn’t quite settled into sleep yet and was making the occasional grunt or squeak.

“Can you believe she’s seven pounds?” Garrett’s voice barely drifted over the sound of the radio, but Steve’s eyes opened to look at him.

“No, I thought she was much smaller.” Steve had never been around babies. He knew they were small, but Alex had been way tinier than he thought babies could be. Especially for a kid of his. His mom used to tell him he was a big baby.

They drove in silence for a while longer, the occasional thought voiced out loud and answered. Steve was trying to stay awake for Garrett, he knew the other man had been up with the baby more last night.

Garrett was focusing on the road, sunglasses on and face focused. He looked so serious at this angle, but then he’d open his mouth and tell Steve that if Alex started snoring like Steve did he’d make them both sleep in the living room, and Steve’s chest would ache.

He looked away, first looking at the road, at the desolate highway before them, and then looking in the mirror to check on Alex.

He froze.

Alex had spit up. It was a usual sight for her, but it looked…wrong.

He whipped around in his seat, craning his neck to see into the rear facing car seat.

Alex was frowning hard as a puddle of normal looking spit up was on her chest. Steve grabbed a napkin from the center console and unbuckled to clean her up, waving off Garrett’s concern as he settled back in his seat.

“She just spit up.” He explained. He didn’t mention that, for a moment in the reflection, it had looked like pixels.

It wasn’t that weird. Steve saw squares everywhere ever since coming back, his brain seeking out familiar patterns. He’d just been mistaken.

Alex settled, sucking on the binky her dad had fixed back into place. No one was looking at her as she sleepily blinked up at her own reflection.

For a second, her pupils didn’t look right, no longer round and dark, but strangely boxy, like someone had drawn them in by hand.

They shifted, flickering like an old television display as she stared with non-comprehension at her own face.

She blinked again, slower this time, and her eyes were back to the way they were before, a perfect match to her dad’s. They finally drifted closed with a last sleepy murmur, the infant giving in to sleep.

The car kept rattling gently as it drove down the highway, rocking the baby with every little jolt, nothing out of the ordinary.

Steve reached down to adjust the heater, Garrett grumbled that it was warm enough, Alex let out a snore.

Normal. Everything was normal.

Chapter Text

Garrett stared dubiously at the baby bath.

It seemed pretty fancy for a bathtub, a tiny white basin with a blue inflatable pillow that had a hollow for the baby, and a little temperature gauge on the side. Dawn had dropped it off that morning, it had been donated to the office she worked at and she’s gotten permission to take it for them. Apparently people donated straight to them sometimes to be distributed to parents who needed them.

The bathtub was sitting on the countertop next to the sink, the sprayer inside. Garrett kept repeatedly feeling the water and checking the sensor, which said it was acceptable.

He was pretty sure his mother had bathed him in the sink his first year of life, but he was glad he didn’t have to do that when Alex was so tiny and floppy.

Steve was standing next to him holding the baby, still dressed in Christmas printed footie pajamas they’d got on clearance. They were big on her, but everything was. Even her size 1 diapers seemed huge on her. He was talking about something, and Garrett was trying to listen. He had a harder time listening lately, and he didn’t know why. Maybe it was the exhaustion.

“Can you get her undressed?” He only put a little water in it, the thought of the water level being too high made his blood cold. She wouldn’t be able to roll in her little divot, she didn’t even know how to roll yet, but that didn’t make the feeling go away.

“What kind of soap do we use?” Steve had started undressing the confused infant from where she laid on his shoulder. “I don’t think she’d like your smelly stuff.” Garrett had used the same body wash since he was a teenager, but had a more complicated routine for his hair and face. Meanwhile, Steve insisted on just using a bar of soap for everything. Garrett had barely convinced him to use a 2-in-1 for his hair.

“I joked to Dawn we’d use dish soap and she glared at me really hard, then made me go to the dollar store with her to get baby wash.” They were small bottles, but they’d do. He doubted they’d need much soap for such a tiny baby. He’d also grabbed a cute little duck washcloth.

Alex let out a confused cry as Steve suddenly plopped her in the water.

“Steve! Don’t be so rough with her!” Garrett snapped,

“Sorry! She’s a hearty baby, and I was holding her neck right! She’s just surprised.” Steve smiled even as Alex screwed up her face and took a shaky inhale.

She screamed, kicking her little legs into the water.

Garrett was panicking a little, hands up.

“Do we take her out? Do I bathe her while she screams?!” That felt mean, especially with how she was wailing.

It had been a few days since her appointment and her thighs had recovered. They’d gently removed the bandaids the day after, which Alex wasn’t thrilled about in the slightest.

“I don’t know! I’ll call Nat!” Steve was fumbling for his phone, flipping it open and dialing the person they called the most. Garrett hated relying on her so much for his kid, but he had no idea what he was doing most of the time. He had known from the moment Alex appeared that he wasn’t ready, but he was pretty sure something was supposed to kick in by now. Shouldn’t he know what he was doing by now?

“Hi boys.” Nat answered the phone with the exasperated fondness she reserved just for them. Dawn had coined the term ‘the boys’ in reference to Henry, Garrett, and Steve, and Nat had started using it too. It felt a little weird coming from baby faced little Natty, but if she liked it, she could call them whatever she wanted.

“We’re doing the first bath thing, and she hates it! How do we make her, like, not hate it?” Steve rushed out, Alex wailing over the line.

“That’s normal, it’s her first time. Just make it quick and she’ll be fine.”

Garrett winced apologetically as he began to hover the sprayer over her little body. She let out another wail, using her impressive little lungs as he wet her skin. She especially hated when he wet her hair, trying to avoid getting water in her eyes. They’d been wiping down any messes with wet wipes the past week, but she was definitely due for this.

“Do you need me to come over?” Nat sounded teasing, but Garrett felt a flash of irritation.

“I’ve got it. It’s just a bath, I can handle it. Steve, washcloth me.” He held out a hand like a surgeon, and Steve scrambled to hand him the washcloth.

He wet it and added soap, beginning to scrub gently at her pale skin.

She hated every second of it, jerkily flailing and letting out ear splitting shrieks.

“Gotta go Natty, I need to record this!” Steve yelled, as if taking a video of their sobbing wet daughter would be beneficial in any way. Garrett also so didn’t want to be recorded right now. His hair had been up in a bun for two days straight and his eyeliner was smudged, but Nat and Steve were already giving goodbye ‘love you!’s and then the flip phone was in his space.

“Dude, why do you want to record this?” He worked through her fuzzy orange hair with the washcloth, distantly wondering when she’d be old enough to use hair products on. His daughter was going to have the most luscious hair.

“Memories! Every family needs an album!”

“How the hell are you going to put a video in an album?” Alex let out another scream as he held his hand over her forehead and ran the spray over the crown of her head. He was pretty sure she was cursing him out in baby speak, which, fair.

“I- I did not think about that! I’ll take some pictures, say bye to the camera Alex!” Alex let out an angry gurgle. She wasn’t sad, just really pissed.

Garrett sighed.

“Use my phone, yours takes shitty pictures. Then hold the damn sprayer so I can wash her hands.” As always Alex’s hands are balled up into fists. He began to scrub her little feet as Steve got his phone from his back pocket and started to fight with it.

“Swipe from the corner to get the camera, remember?” Alex’s little toes fanned out, letting his easily wash in between them. She tried to pull away, face confused and angry.

“She’s making your face!” Steve held the phone over the bath to take pictures of the pout Alex had on.

“I do not look like that!” He studied the severe look on the babies face, the way her lips pursed and her angled bald eyebrows were drawn downwards.

“You totally do, admit it.” Steve smiled at him, and the irritation softened just a tad.

Then Steve dropped his smartphone into the bath.

Garrett squawked, scooping it out and throwing it across the room in a panic. Can cellphones electrocute babies?! She seemed fine, just really angry.

“Steve.” Garrett grit out, slowly looking back at the sheepish man.

“Yes dear?” Steve looked appropriately bashful.

“Hold the fucking sprayer.” He shoved the sprayer in Steve’s hands.

They bathed Alex in silence as he uncurled her little hands and washed them with the cloth as Steve sprayed. Well, as silent as it could be with Alex screaming every few seconds.

Her little face was twisted in a comically upset expression, little feet kicking and belly heaving. He cracked a smile despite himself, maybe it was a good thing Steve took a few pictures, that was a pretty cute face.

He made Steve hold the towel as he picked the wet baby up, trying not to drop her as she flailed. He suddenly understood the ‘greased pig’ analogy.

She was dwarfed by the towel, angry little face peeking out like an owl as Steve snapped another picture with his phone.

“Can you put my phone in rice please.”

Steve reluctantly handed the baby over and went to find Garrett’s phone from where it had been punted.

He sat on the couch after she was back in a diaper, cuddling her. Her angry expression had soothed, and now she just looked sleepy.

“Don’t forget skin to skin! Angela said it was important.” Steve called from across the house.

“Yeah, yeah, I got it.” He set her down so he could shrug off his tank top, the baby letting out a betrayed whine before he scooped her back up.

He probably needed a shower himself, he’d had a hard time finding time to take care of himself the last week, but Alex was content drooling against his chest.

Steve lingered from where he was in the entry to the living room, expression soft.

“You’re allowed to come over here.”

Steve slunk over, sitting on the couch beside him and still looking at him with those big eyes. He hoped Alex didn’t inherit those puppy eyes, he wouldn’t be able to handle it from two directions.

“I’m not mad.”

Steve raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, I’m not that mad. Just stop looking like a sad dog and turn something on the tv.” This was how they’d been spending their evenings on their leave from work, cuddling Alex and watching something on tv. It was nice, even if it drove Garrett a little crazy to sit still.

They swapped on baby time, but he’d been asking for Alex a little more lately. He felt…weird when he wasn’t holding her.

Steve immediately went hunting through the streaming services. He’d been blindsided by cable not being the go to anymore, and seemed to get overwhelmed by the options a lot.

He seemed to have a purpose right now, opening the YouTube app and grumbling as he navigated typing by using the arrow keys.

He cheered triumphantly as he started a video about restoring classic game cabinets.

“Henry said you’d like this!” He stared eagerly at Garrett as the video started.

The side of Garrett’s mouth quirked up a bit, reaching out to give the side of Steve’s beard a light affectionate tug.

“Good call.”

He turned his attention to the video, explaining each cabinet to Steve and the way they worked. Steve listened patiently to information that he’d never need, staring at Garrett instead of the video.

-

Garrett and Steve both startled awake at a loud cry from beside the bed, both groaning in unison.

“Did she spit out her binky?” Steve knuckled his eyes, squinting at the alarm clock and wincing at the time.

“No that’s definitely her hungry cry. I got it.” Garrett stretched, seemingly every vertebrae cracking as he stood. His body felt older these days, probably from the exhaustion.

Steve watched him go through bleary eyes, watching the faded burn scars on Garrett’s back shift as he bent over the bassinet and shushed the baby. Steve watched Garrett a lot these days. He wasn’t ashamed of that, he could recognize his own curiosity, but he wasn’t sure yet what to do about it.

Garrett undid the swaddle and scooped up the wailing baby and held her to his chest, saying soothing words and patting her back. She still had the reedy cry of a newborn, loud and demanding as she furiously flailed her freshly freed arms.

“Change her before she eats since she’s already mad.” Steve called from the bed, unable to go back to sleep and contentedly watching.

“Was planning on it.” Garrett adjusted his course to the changing table, still shushing the tiny infant as he rifled through the drawer underneath and got her wipes and one tiny diaper.

“You change her, I’ll make the bottle since I’m already awake.” Steve rolled out of bed, heading for the kitchen. He would do what he could, he felt useless laying in bed while Garrett did all the work, even when they’d agreed on switching off.

“Kay, love you.” The words left Garrett on some power that wasn’t his own at the man making his life easier. Some part of him wanted to be upset that Steve wasn’t letting him handle it, but the rest of him was swooning.

“What?”

“What?”

Steve looked confused, but seemed to shrug it off and continued to the kitchen. Garrett wasn’t sure if he’d actually heard it or not, but he soothed his panic by assuring himself he hadn’t. He cared about Steve too much already, but Steve didn’t need to know  that. He couldn’t face losing what he’d barely just got.

Alex lost it as she was laid on the changing table and her warm sleeper was undone to expose her to the chilly air. Her little belly heaved with the effort of her cries, tiny legs kicking.

“Sorry! I’ll make it quick, sorry Princess!” He liked to think he was a pro at changing by now. He wasn’t nearly as fast as Natalie, she was scary fast and effective, but it didn’t take him as long as it used to. It didn’t help that Alex was being very difficult and squirming and kicking as much as possible, but he did manage to get her cleaned up. Thankfully it was just a wet diaper.

She was freshly diapered and back in her sleeper when Steve reappeared, handing Garrett the warm bottle and heading back to bed. Garrett bit his traitorous tongue as another declaration of love threatened to escape at the action. Steve had offered to feed her a few nights, but on Garrett’s turns he always refused, and Steve had learned not to offer. Garrett needed this. He didn’t know why, but he did.

He sat on the bed, bypassing the rocking chair. It would be easier to get her back to sleep, but he wanted to sit on the bed, so he did. He started to feed the baby as he hummed rock songs to her, wiping the milky drool from the corner of her mouth with his thumb. She liked rock songs enough, though she calmed the most when Steve hummed the sounds of the overworld. Garrett hadn’t been there long enough to know the notes that played on the wind, but they had been the backdrop of Steve’s life for years and he hummed them constantly to fill the crushing silence of the real world. Henry was trying to work with Steve to figure out the music to they could put it in the game, but they hadn’t found the right instrument yet.

Alex stayed alert as she drank, looking around the room and staring up at Garrett with wide green eyes as her tiny hand grabbed his fingers where he held the bottle. She had such a strong little grip, she definitely got it from him.

She finished and made a soft whine as he propped her on his shoulder and patted her carefully until she let out a burp. He kept going until he got another little one out, just to make sure he got all the gas.

“You’re a good dad.” He was startled, he hadn’t realized Steve was still awake, but the man was watching him from where he cuddled his pillow.

“You think so?” He brushed a finger through Alex’s fluffy hair, laying her against where his legs were up on the bed, propping her against his knees. She was wide awake. Of course she fell asleep after every bottle except the 2AM one.

“Yeah.” Steve reached over to pat Alex’s tiny closed fish with his finger. “The others think so too. You’re killing it.”

Was he, though?

He’d never had a good example to base on, and he had felt more unsure of himself as time went on. Compared to Steve, he really wasn’t much.

Garrett felt his face grow warm at the compliment anyway, coughing awkwardly, pointedly away from the baby and over his shoulder where the germs couldn’t reach her.

“Oh, uh, you are too.” And Steve was, though it was to be expected. He gave the vibes of a good dad even before Alex had existed. He was kind and loved kids, and he was endlessly patient. He was made for this, and sometimes Garrett got overwhelmed by how good at it Steve was. Steve never needed to set the baby down and walk away because she wouldn’t stop screaming and he couldn’t breathe, he never had nightmares where she died on the trip back over, and he never had to call a teenager for help because the baby had made a mess of herself and he didn’t know what to do.

Steve was just… good at it. A natural. He looked doubtful sometimes, asked Natalie for advice every once in a while, but he was frustratingly calm. When Henry had brought it up, Garrett had been nearby and immediately tuned in since he hadn’t wanted to ask himself, Steve had just let out a good natured laugh.

“I’ve killed a dragon.” He spoke casually as he rocked the crying baby in his arms. “It takes a lot to rattle me.”

Garrett had never faced a dragon. He’d never done much of anything, really. How was he supposed to compare?

“Gar Gar?” Steve’s voice was soft and far away, pulling his focus back to the moment.

“Hmm?” Garrett rubbed his thumb down Alex’s forehead and nose, watching her eyes blink sluggishly. She grumbled, clearly not wanting to go back to sleep yet.

“You stopped answering, wanted to make sure you weren’t nodding off.” Garrett wanted to get offended that Steve thought he’d put their daughter in danger by falling asleep holding her, but the fight evaporated instantly. Of course he worried about that. Garrett had almost done that exact thing on a few occasions. He was just so exhausted, and no matter how much he tried to stay awake, sometimes the sleep crept up on him while rocking her.

“‘M awake. Going to try and get her back down, get some sleep.” He got out of bed, placing the baby back in her crib and refastening the Velcro of the swaddle until she was bundled up. He popped her binky back in her mouth, running his fingers across her precious cheeks until her eyes grew heavy and her blinks lasted longer.

He let his mind wander as he sang softly to her. He tried to hum the melody she liked, but he forgot how it went, so he switched to Billy Joel.

He really hoped he was doing this right.

Steve was asleep when he got back in bed, not stirring as Garret sat against the headboard and pulled his knees up. He stared at the other man’s face in the dim light from the nightlight Steve insisted on, studying him and watching the rise and fall of his chest.

Steve was sleeping, Alex was sleeping, everything was fine.

He curled his arms around his legs, feeling smaller than he should have been able to as the silence stretched around him, only broken up by the soft snores of Steve and the gurgling of the baby.

He hated nighttime, when he was left alone with the anxiety plaguing him, worrying about fucking up Alex, about missing something important, of raising her to hate him.

It was a little easier when she was in his arms, but she was sleeping, and he didn’t want to disturb her.

His mind was far too loud, and he didn’t end up getting much sleep.

-

Garrett was running on the few hours of sleep and a mix of protein powder and coffee, and he felt a mix of the ability to take on anything, and the crushing weight of the world bearing down on him.

He’d woken up at four again this morning. He couldn’t remember what he dreamed about, just the feeling, the panic. He felt like he needed to move.

He needed out of this house or he was pretty sure he was going to die.

He got Alex up and changed while she was still asleep, packing her in her car seat and making coffee in a travel mug. He left some in the pot for Steve.

The man emerged from his room looking confused and tired, still in the t-shirt and boxers he’d slept in.

“Garrett? He mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “Whatcha doing?”

“Going to work.”

Steve tilted his head, eyes sleepy and confused as he glanced at the clock on the stove. It was 6 now, but it was still dim outside.

He clearly wanted to protest, but instead he focused on the baby by the door.

“You’re taking Alex?”

“Yeah. I- I need to. She’ll be fine, we’ll be back at 5.”

“You sure?” Steve walked up to him, face soft and open, and it made Garrett’s chest hurt in its sincerity. “I could watch her for the day.”

He knew Steve could, that Steve could do a better job than him even. That Alex would probably be happier home with him than stuck at the dusty shop all day, but he needed her in his sight.

“No, I’ve got her. I need to get the shop back open, there’s a lot to do. She can just hang out.” The kids had helped him restructure the entire business after they got back, and they’d had a group day or cleaning out and rearranging the store to be more appealing. He had a section dedicated to new games and consoles now (Henry’s idea) so that kids who were collectors would actually want to buy stuff. He had a lot of stock to get through and new shipments that hadn’t been processed yet.

“Okay. I’ll stop by later, see how you two are doing. Maybe I’ll go see Dawn at her hobby farm.” Steve smiled weakly at him, watching him pack up and leave.

Alex fussed in the car, and Steve wasn’t there to put her binky back in and soothe her. It was just Garrett, and all he could do was apologize and drive.

Once he’d opened the shop and breathed in the familiar smell of dusty game consoles and old carpet, something in his chest loosened. Not much, but enough to catch his breath.

He talked to Alex while he worked, voice low and steady. Moved her from place to place when she got fussy. Took comfort in the clack of shelves and the scrape of boxes.

It wasn’t peaceful, but it wasn’t the house. That would have to be enough.

-

Life went on. Days turned into weeks, weeks to months. Alex turned two months old.

Garrett had gone back to full time work despite the dragging exhaustion that had begun to settle so deep he wondered if any amount of rest would ever clear it. He also still insisted on bringing Alex with him, since he was the boss and could do what he wanted, and the group only fought him on it a little.

Steve still insisted he help out when he was working, but Steve wasn’t full time like he was. While technically an employee Steve only worked a few days a week and spent the rest wandering town and doing odd jobs to keep things interesting.

Steve didn’t technically even need to work, he had money. It had been sitting in the bank as they patiently waited for Steve to be declared dead so it could be distributed through probate, but now that he was back and they’d gotten him off the missing persons list, his money was once again his. It was mostly built off never missing a day of work his entire adult life and the settlement from his parents death when he was a teenager, so it was enough that he could probably live off of it for the rest of his life.

Steve couldn’t stand not staying busy though, it was the reason he’d left this world in the first place, so they let him do whatever he wanted to keep him busy. He’d offered to take the baby with him around town, but Garrett had talked him out of it. Steve was already doing so much, and it was easier on Alex to be in one place rather than dragged around all day.

They did take her on weekly walks around town together, letting the people in town coo over her and letting her get some fresh air, but Garrett was there for that. He didn’t like the idea of Steve bringing Alex around town without him.

So she usually laid in her bouncer beside the checkout counter, chewing hard on her little fists and watching him and Henry work. Henry still had school for another four months before summer break, so he only could come work on the game on weekends. On those days the store got especially wild, the local teens loved to come in and play test the game cabinet.

Right now it was a Thursday, there was no Henry, no Steve, and no one in the store. Natalie had asked him once why he didn’t open the store at 3 when school got out instead of at 7, and he didn’t have a good answer for her. He opened it then because he always had, and clinging to that tiny bit of normality made things just a little easier.

Technically they had another employee, Robert, but he was mostly there to appease the others saying Garrett worked too much. Robert didn’t have too many responsibilities yet, but they were slowly adding them as time went on.

“Okay, Lexy-bee, today we’re learning about  Legend Of Zelda.” He pulled the whiteboard from the back room that wasn’t covered in Henry’s coding data and rolled it over towards Alex.

To keep himself sane he’d started teaching her about games. He’d already gone over the complex lore of Hunk City Rampage and its sequels, so he’d switched to more popular games he’d grown up with.

She usually just stared at him or slept through it, but he got to do something with the nervous, wired energy under his skin and he got to rope in anyone who wandered. He’d somehow once got three preteens to sit for four hours as he explained the Final Fantasy series. They’d told him he should make YouTube videos.

“Garbage Tip: Always break fragile things, it’s always worth it.” That applied to most games, probably not real life as much.

He was halfway through explaining Majora’s mask, drawing a bad doodle of the mask for dramatic effect, when the bell above the door chimed.

“Welcome to the Overworld.” He capped the marker and set it aside as he turned to greet the new customer, a little caught off guard to see a middle aged woman. Sometimes moms came in with their kids, but it was hardly the demographic he was used to. Especially since the woman was by herself.

“Hi Garrett!” The woman greeted him like she knew him, so he squinted at her. She was on the shorter side and had strawberry blonde hair tucked back in a ponytail, and was dressed in mom jeans and a jogging shirt. She did look vaguely familiar.

She took the awkward pause in stride.

“I don’t know if you remember me, I’m Donna, we went to school together.”

His eyes widened, looking at her more closely. If he hadn’t been so tired, he might have placed it faster, but her face was definitely one he recognized.

“Donna Blake? Didn’t you go to Florida for college?” He hadn’t kept up with any of his class, but he’d heard endlessly about the class darling getting a scholarship to a fancy school in Florida.

“I did! But I moved back after I got married, wanted to raise my kids in this town. Speaking of…” A wide grin slid across her face as she took a few more steps into the shop so she could clearly see the baby in the bouncer. “Awww! Is that her?”

“Oh, yeah. This is Alex, my kid.” It didn’t feel so anymore. It was just like any other fact about his life. She was his.

In fact, she really was his now.

Janet had come by the house after they’d gotten the results of the paternity test. Sure enough, she was his, and while they said the test was a bit odd, they were definitely parent and child. Since she was his child, he was given full custody of her, and once the paperwork he’d had to file went through, she’d have a birth certificate. Janet had coolly informed him that she would remain Alex’s case worker for her first year of life, just in case they needed extra support. He saw the writing on the wall for what it was, a warning to not fuck up.

He focused back on the conversation as Donna made various high pitched noises at Alex, who made a confused little squeak back at her.

“She’s so beautiful! I figured this would be the best place to catch you, but I didn’t expect the little one to be here! You’re so lucky getting to take her to work with you, going back to work after my youngest was born was so hard.” Donna had always been a bit of a chatterbox, so he let her tell him about her kids and life. He wasn’t a social media person, so he didn’t know much about what his old classmates were up to, so hearing a few familiar names was interesting.

“She been giving you trouble?” Donna’s voice was kind and understanding under a layer of teasing as she eyed the dark bags under his eyes as he finally got close enough to inspect. He wondered what he looked like to her, someone who had last seen him in the prime of his life.

“Some.” He didn’t admit just how much. He didn’t want her judgement on just how much he was fraying at the seams.

“Oh yeah! I had a purpose for coming here!” Donna straightened up, smacking her fist on her flat palm before she scurried out the door.

Garrett watched her go, then glanced down at Alex. She was staring back at him with wide eyes.

“That was weird.”

Before he could say anything else Donna was coming back through the door with a full trash bag over her shoulder and a grin on her face.

“You brought…trash?” He was The Garbage Man Garrison, but this was still a little odd.

Donna laughed, dropping the trash bag in the middle of the floor.

“It’s baby clothes! My kids are all grown up now and the factory is closed for good, so when I heard you and your boyfriend had a baby, I knew I had to dig through the attic and find some for y’all!” She bounced on the balls of her feet before bending down to start opening the bag.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Garrett wasn’t offended by the mistake, gay people were cool, but he needed to correct it.

“Oh! Do you use partner then?”

Garrett considered that. Steve was definitely his partner, they were closer friends than Garrett had ever been with anyone else and lived together.

“Yeah, partners fine.”

“Good to know! Where is he? I was hoping to meet him. All of us who still talk have been buzzing with curiosity!” She started to pull out outfit after outfit, setting them in piles.

“He’s busy today, he’s usually in the store on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, but he’ll probably stop by in a few hours.” They’d only been doing this arrangement for a week and a half so far, but Steve was always popping in and out to chat with Garrett and see Alex.

“So, I’ve got all sizes in here, just kinda threw it all in together so it’s a bit of a mess. I put in the less obvious boy clothes from my son as well, if y’all don’t want it you can always donate it. It goes form newborn to 2T, but it’s mostly the baby stuff. I kept the toddler clothes boxed separate, but I’ll part with that when Alex is a little bigger.” She gave him a wink and a smile, pulling out a red rosy dress and holding it up. “For now this’ll all do.”

Alex had been wearing the same rotation of ten outfits, mixed and matched to make it less obvious, so Garrett was immediately grateful.

“This is amazing!” He found a tiny jean jacket in the pile, too big for Alex now and more likely made for a toddler, but still rad as fuck!

“I knew you’d like that one! You were always wearing your jean jackets in school, and you had that custom one for your competitions!”

“You kept up with those?”

Donna shrugged, giving him a soft smile as she looked at the wall behind the counter. “We all did when we were younger.“

He’d been the town hero for a few years before his inability to get back on the scoreboard had doomed him, back when he was bringing attention to their little town and making something of himself.

It was a weird feeling, realizing you’d grown up. Looking at the time changed face of someone you knew as a teenager, both now parents and decades having passed. It wasn’t a feeling he enjoyed, but it felt oddly important to experience anyway.

“If you need anything at all, just let me know. For once I might actually be able to help.” Donna told him to reach out on Facebook, she had friended the store’s page, and left him and Alex.

Garrett had never liked handouts. It came from his dad, who had insisted everything worth having had to be earned, but he felt… happy about receiving this. It was just old clothes, but it was a nice gesture from someone who hadn’t forgotten about him. Besides, it wasn’t a handout for him, it was for Alex, and she’d earned it.

Steve ended up bringing him lunch at noon, popping into the store with a smile and a story about what he’d gotten up to that day. He held Alex in one arm and looked through the clothes with the other as Garrett devoured his hamburger.

“These are going to be so cute on her! We’ll have to get her a dresser.”

“Where are we going to put it?” His room was already quite cramped with the changing table and crib in it, he couldn’t fit a second dresser.

Steve went quiet, fiddling with the lace of a little dress. Garrett caught the way his fingers stilled, and he distantly wondered what Steve could possibly be hesitant about.

“We could put it in my room for now.”

Steve hadn’t used his room since the first night they’d brought Alex home. Garrett didn’t mind it that way, it made sense for them to both be in the room with Alex, so they could both get to her when she cried.

He’d been getting up with her on the nights Steve didn’t immediately wake up. He knew Steve must have figured it out by now, but he didn’t say anything, just offered to do the morning feed and chatted about his dreams while Garrett made coffee.

Garrett didn’t talk about his dreams.

After they’d first got back from the overworld he’d experienced the first nightmares he’d ever had in his adult life. Dreams where he’d been too late to catch Henry, where he’d exploded on the bridge, where he’d not had a bucket and had crashed into the ground of the ravine. They were hard to adjust to, but he clung to the fact that they weren’t real, that it had never happened, that he was alive.

He had started having nightmares about Alex a few days after they’d brought her home. In the first one, he’d woken up in the dream and gone to check on her, and she was just…gone. Her crib was empty. In the dream he’d remembered that she’d been taken, and he’d fallen to his knees. In that dream Steve was always gone too, because he’d blamed him for Alex being taken.

The less sleep he got, the more vicious the dreams became. Instead of missing she was dead, and he would wake up with so much panic that he fell off the bed and woke the whole house up. He told Steve he dreamed he was in a competition, but the second Steve had left the room to get him water he had crawled over to the crib to make sure Alex was still breathing.

They were getting worse. He knew what Nat would say, that he should talk about it. She encouraged everyone to talk through what they’d gone through, especially Henry. He didn’t think the little man was weak for talking about his nightmares of falling off the portal, but the thought of telling everybody what his mind was making him see was too much.

He pushed his food away, suddenly not hungry.

“Yeah.” He said quietly, mind a million miles away. “We could put it in your room.”

-

They were walking around town with the kids.

Steve had mentioned wanting to take Alex along the waterfront with Nat and Henry, and Garrett had forced himself to tag along. He wanted to sleep, but the thought of his dreams returning was too much for now. He’d try to catch a few hours tonight.

Henry was excitedly talking about coding and schematics as he walked, Nat humoring him with on topic questions as she balanced their food from the local place that had just opened. Steve was pushing the stroller, chiming in and making faces at Alex.

Garrett was beside them, but he felt miles away. It was like there was glass between him and everyone else, a barrier only he could see. His thoughts and answers just pinged around the inside of the barrier, not coming out right or at all whenever he tried to join in.

They found outdoor seating by the river, the area populated by the occasional family or jogger. It wasn’t quite warm out yet, but the days were slowly starting to become nice enough that more people were coming to the waterfront to enjoy the view. It was a Sunday, the one day of the week Game Over was closed so he could have time off, and most of the people milling about were dressed nicely, probably from attending church. There were a few local churches in the area, and now that the river was cleaner than it had ever been, they even did river baptisms in the summer.

“Garrett?”

He tuned back in with a hum, squinting in the harsh sunlight at Steve.

“You okay, man? Sure you don’t want to head home and get some sleep?” Steve brushed a hand over his shoulder. Garrett wanted to lean into it, to feel it, but Steve was just touching the glass, and Garrett could barely feel it at all.

“Nah, I’m good. I’ll sleep tonight.”

Steve looked at him, gaze heavy, and nodded in acceptance.

“Can you eat something at least?” Garrett wanted to snap at him to stop being a mother hen, but he bit his tongue hard enough to hurt. He shouldn’t snap at Steve just because he wasn’t feeling great.

He stole a fry from Natalie’s hoard to placate him. She squawked and made a fuss, but suddenly the fries were at the center of the table and conveniently within his reach.

“We should have invited Dawn out.” Garrett chewed on a fry, leaning on his hand and trying to get his vision to stop being fuzzy.

“We did, she had court today. She did say that you two better call her in as a babysitter soon, she’s smitten for Alex.” Nat leaned around Steve to peer into the stroller parked beside the two men, giving Alex a smile. The baby made a shrill noise back, wiggling her entire body. She was a big fan of Nat.

Honestly, she was a big fan of most people. She was a very friendly baby. If anything, she cried the most when Garrett was with her. Logically he knew he was with her the most, so of course she cried more around him, but it didn’t stop him feeling like shit over it.

“That’s a good idea! We really should have Alex watched for a night so we can actually go out and do something. There’s so many movies I’ve never seen!” Steve was looking at him, eyes so sickeningly kind of made Garrett want to put his hand over them.

“Maybe.” He grumbled, the fry in his mouth tasting like flavorless mush now. He forced himself to swallow it.

No one except him and Steve had watched Alex yet. They’d been around her, but never alone.

It was silly really, how anxious the thought made Garrett, but even Steve being without him terrified him. The thought of one of the others, even with people he deeply cared about and trusted like them watching the baby was nerve wracking. What if something happened? What if he wasn’t there when she needed him?

He knew Alex was content in the stroller, but he got her out anyways to try and stop the panic starting to build in his chest. She was wearing a tiny puffy jacket and was bundled in a blanket, looking curiously around the area as he held her in his lap.

Henry was scribbling in his notebook and excitedly rambling about the aerodynamics of the Drowned’s tridents, accepting the fries Nat was pushing at him absently as he did. She was such a mother hen, she was probably where Steve was getting it from. Still, Garrett was fond of her. He was closer to Henry, but he’d come to respect Nat a lot and he did genuinely care about her. She was a good kid.

Alex abruptly ‘shrimped’, a new term Henry had coined for her new obsession with arching her entire body backwards like a shrimp. She screamed, attracting attention from other tables as he turned her around and put her over his shoulder, a hand on her to keep her from throwing her head back. She screamed again, thunking her little head against the side of his as she tried to wiggle away, as if she had developed muscles and wouldn’t just fall.

“What’s up hon, hungry?” He tried to think through the brain fog. She’d eaten before they’d left, but how long had it been? She probably wasn’t due yet.

The screaming in his ear was deeply irritating, but he didn’t hand her off, just tried to breathe through it.

“I think she wants her binky.” Steve chimed in.

“I could have guessed that.” Garrett grumbled and grabbed a binky from the side pocket of the diaper bag, shifting her so she was cradled against his chest and popping it in her mouth. She sucked on it for a few moments, then spit it out and yelled again.

“C’mon, don’t be like that.” Garrett put it back in, trying not to get mad at her. She was just a baby, babies were frustrating sometimes.

She didn’t soothe though, no matter how he rocked her. He was failing, and everyone could see it.

“Gare, she doesn’t like that one. She likes the ones with the bend, remember?” Steve went in the other side pocket and got one of the silicone orthodontic pacifiers she preferred.

“Why’d we pack the other ones then?” He took the binky rougher than he meant to, putting it in Alex’s mouth and watching her begin to suck on it eagerly.

“…I think you packed those.” Steve wasn’t trying to be mean about it, but shame immediately washed over Garrett. He had packed the bag this morning, throwing in a few extra things.

“Oh.” He didn’t apologize, not because he didn’t want to, but because he couldn’t. All he could do was stare at the table and hold his daughter as she looked at the world around them.

He felt like the entire picnic area was staring at him, thinking about how bad of a job he was doing. He suddenly wanted to go home.

He stayed quiet as everyone talked, but he felt like he’d killed the mood. Henry was quieter now as he made his calculations, and Nat was giving him this searching look that he didn’t like. She was too smart, and he felt like she could see right through him.

They wrapped up soon after that, a few excuses being thrown out as they all hugged and said goodbye. They lingered by the cars, Henry and Steve still deep in conversation as they buckled in Alex and folded the stroller.

“Hey.” Garrett went stiff as Natalie caught him alone, out of earshot from the boys.

“Yeah?”

“What’s going on.” Her eyes were staring into his soul, picking him apart as she tilted her head. For a girl young enough to be his daughter, she was intimidating.

“Nothing.”

“Then what was that? You look exhausted, have you been sleeping?” She reached out to touch the bags under his eyes, frowning as he flinched back.

He opened his mouth, and for a second, just a second , he nearly told her. That the dreams were back. That everything felt far away, like he was behind glass. That he was scared something inside him was broken and no one had noticed.

But his throat tightened, the words getting stuck there.

And then Henry called for her help, and the moment slipped through his fingers like water.

“It’s fine, Nat. Just the baby keeping me up is all.” It wasn’t totally a lie, even though it felt like one. Alex had been going through sleep regression pretty bad and he had been the one to get up with her most, but he also couldn’t sleep when Steve did his turns. He just laid awake and listened.

She opened her mouth to say something, but Henry called for her help more frantically as Steve got his shirt stuck in the stroller folding mechanism.

“I’m coming! Stop pulling on it!” She went to walk away, but paused just long enough to say one last thing before hurrying over.

“You’re not alone, Garrett.”

He wasn’t, he knew that.

So why did it feel like he was?

-

Steve hummed a song as he cleaned the kitchen.

The whole house had become a bit too lived in recently with the chaos, and if Steve didn’t take the chance to clean it when he could he’d catch Garrett doing it at 3 in the morning.

Alex was down for a nap and he’d barely convinced Garrett to lay down too. Garrett had looked worn down recently, but was clearly trying to hide it. Steve allowed him his privacy. Garrett didn’t seem the type to allow himself to be witnessed in moments of weakness, so he’d let the man take the time he needed to collect himself. If he needed some extra time with Alex to do that, so be it.

It wasn’t like Steve didn’t also want to spend every moment holding his daughter. He loved her! He just knew that Garrett probably needed it more right now. He had the rest of his life to dote on his daughter, after all.

He cursed quietly as he heard Garrett’s phone ring from the other room, having forgotten to silence it or move it to the other room while Garrett was napping. He heard Garrett groan before answering the phone.

“Bobby? What’s up.” The only other employee Garrett had aside from himself and sometimes Steve, Robert, had recently been promoted to running the store by himself two days of the week so Garrett had more free time. It was something they’d twisted Garrett’s arm a bit on, insisting he took some more time for himself.

Steve was going to hit Robert with a pickaxe.

“How’d you mess up inventory that bad? Dammit, let me get Alex ready and I’ll be right over.” There was shuffling as Garrett got out of bed, startling as he saw Steve appear in the doorway.

“Robert can’t handle it alone?”

“He somehow managed to mislabel all the new cartridges we got in, I have to go reset the system before he can sell anything else.”

“It can’t wait until tomorrow?”

Garrett shifted his eyes away from Steve’s face.

“I really should fix it tonight.”

“Why are you bringing Alex? She’s finally sleeping.”

“She can sleep in the car, it’s fine.” He was already getting her car seat from the corner and beginning to carefully scoop up the sleeping baby.

“Garrett-“

“I said it’s fine!” Garrett managed to startle both Steve and the baby, eyes immediately filling with regret. He opened opened his mouth again, trying to say something, but after a moment he closed his mouth and continued to pack up the baby in her car seat. He left to go to the store, leaving Steve in the empty house.

Steve was used to being alone, standing in a familiar silence.

Or better said, he had been used to being alone.

He’d been alone since he was nineteen, separated from the world even as he lived in it, the last of the Smiths. He got a house and a job, he did what every human was supposed to do, and he did it alone. He didn’t jive with the other office workers, just like he hadn’t with other teenagers in high school. He’d been popular as a preteen, but eventually when everyone grew up, he was just seen as weird. A kid who only talked about mining got boring after a while.

He didn’t hate that label, the coolest people were weird! He just did his thing and lived his life, alone.

Then he remembered the mines, discovered a whole new world, and he got everything he wanted, all by himself.

There were villagers and animals, and even some of the piglins were chill, but they weren’t like him, and he wasn’t like them. He had Dennis, his best bud in the whole world, but he was just a wolf. He didn’t talk back.

Still, Steve was happy! He could achieve almost anything in this world, and exploring and mastering it was a new adventure each day!

But then, four people arrived, and Steve realized that maybe he had been more lonely than he thought. Talking with Henry, arguing with Garrett, showing off this world, he felt something deep in his soul twinge. He’d missed this, talking to people, seeing something of his world that wasn’t his own body.

So he’d chosen to follow them, to chase that contact and never be alone again. He’d gone home with Garrett that night, the man saying that no ‘brother’ of his would be homeless. The group stayed in contact even after they went back to their own struggles and they all collectively clawed their ways back up from rock bottom.

It was a hard adjustment, looking out over a world he hadn’t been in for so long, looking at the rounded edges of soft planes of a world not built from cubes, about no longer having the power to do anything he wanted.

So the kids cooked up an idea to take trips back every once in a while, a getaway from life for all of them when they had a moment to spare. Sometimes he went with the kids, sometimes Dawn went with him to check on her pups and bring Dennis over, and his favorite times were when he went with Garrett.

Garrett tried so hard to see the world the way he did, to ‘play it right’ even when there was no right or wrong way to experience the overworld. He busied himself building enclosures or planting things, and Steve busied himself with trying not to stare.

Then the overworld decided to give them a gift, and Alex was born, and Steve knew he’d never be alone again. For the first time since he was nineteen, he had a family.

Yet, here he was, standing in his kitchen and staring at the door. The empty house felt massive around him, even though it was smaller than some of the mansions he’d built.

No Dennis, no Garrett, and no Alex. Just him and his thoughts.

He knew Garrett was adjusting to parenthood in his own way, that he had to let him settle in on his own and not press, but he hoped he figured it out soon.

-

Garrett gripped his steering wheel tightly as he drove, listing to Alex cry in the backseat.

Why had he woken her up? Why couldn’t he just leave her with Steve? He trusted Steve! He cared about him so much it made him nervous. Why couldn’t he leave their baby with her other father, with anyone,

He felt the glass around him thicken just a fraction, and as his baby cried in the back seat, he wondered if he’d ever felt this alone.

Chapter Text

Garrett loved his daughter.

He’d known that from the moment he’d met her, once everything had sank in and he’d first seen his eyes reflected in hers.

She was his and he loved her so much it scared him, needed her so much he wasn’t sure how he’d ever existed before her, and yet, love could still exist beside frustration.

Alex hadn’t eaten more than an ounce in over a day, and Garrett was out of ideas and running on fumes.

He was the one who said Steve could go. Said he could handle it.

God, he was tired.

He’d told Steve it was fine if he and Henry went to the Overworld for the weekend. Henry had excitedly called them Thursday night, saying he’d had a breakthrough on something and wanted to go to the other world to test his theory. Nat had a presentation at work and would be busy all weekend while Dawn was spending time with her finance, so they were his only choice. He’d told them in that too soft voice of his that it was fine if they couldn’t, he knew they were busy with the baby and all, but he thought he’d try asking.

Steve had immediately looked at Garrett, and Garrett saw the flicker of doubt in his eyes. Doubt that Garrett could handle the baby alone. She’d been fussy the past few days, after all. Steve opened his mouth to refuse the boy, but Garrett put a hand on the phone before he could.

He told him he could handle Alex for a weekend, that he was her dad. Henry had been patient about the baby taking up all their time, he deserved to get to spend time with Steve in the Overworld. Knowing that kid he already had his homework done up to the next week, he deserved to have fun using his little nerd brain.

Steve still looked doubtful, but he eventually gave in and promised Henry he’d try to make it work.

They’d left Friday after Henry got out of school. Steve had given Alex a kiss and Garrett a hug, and had promised with his goofy smile that he’d be back soon, and not to burn the place down. Garrett told him they’d be fine, that he could handle this.

Except it was only Saturday morning and things were already going wrong.

She had been having a fussy few days before then, eating less and spitting up more, but they’d transferred her back to gentle formula instead of generic and that seemed to be settling a little better. He was pretty confident the weekend would be uneventful, maybe he’d teach her more game lore or rearrange the gaming consoles.

He hadn’t expected her to take a sudden turn from not very hungry to a full hunger strike.

Alex had been up on and off all night, refusing to let him put her down for even a moment. He’d nearly nodded off holding her several times, and didn’t allow himself to sit much to reduce the risk of falling asleep with her in his arms. He’d only caught a few scattered hours himself, and only during the 10 to 15 minutes bursts Alex allowed him.

It was currently mid-morning and Alex hadn’t drank more than an ounce of her bottle since yesterday.

She wasn’t in a bad mood at the moment, but was clearly sleepy. He’d been trying to put her down for a nap for an hour now. He felt that if he could just get a tiny bit more sleep he could think of a solution. Maybe after a nap she’d eat.

Call Nat , his brain offered. Call Dawn .

No. He was the only one struggling with this, he couldn’t show them that he couldn’t even handle his own daughter for one weekend. They’d stop trusting him if he showed he couldn’t hack it as a dad, shown that all he’d done so far was a fluke.

Was that selfish of him? Probably.

But what kind of dad couldn’t parent alone for just a few days?

He was hunched over the crib, hand dwarfing Alex’s tiny chest as he gently rocked her body. Her eyes were slowly drifting shut, sucks on her binky becoming less frequent.

When she seemed fully asleep Garrett slowly took his hand away and stood, biting back a groan at his stiff back. His whole body had hurt for a while now, but now every ache and pain felt like a jab to an exposed nerve.

His legs shook, trying to buckle under him as he shook the numb limbs out and stepped toward the bed to finally get some sleep. His eyes were burning and his head was pounding, his own thoughts seeming to sear his brain. Even Alex’s normally cute baby sounds hurt his head.

Just as he reached the bed and sat down, ready to collapse face first on his pillow, and maybe hold Steve’s, he heard Alex suddenly startle herself awake.

Her arms were thrown up as she looked around with wide eyes and began to cry her shrill little baby cry. It was confused and desperate, like she was scared that she wasn’t in his arms anymore, and it clawed through his chest and dug into his bones.

Garrett grabbed his pillow from the bed, shoved his face in it, and screamed .

He called the clinic at noon when Alex refused another bottle, having barely drank a half ounce when she started to cry. She had been dry the last three diaper changes and he knew that was a bad thing.

He’d only grabbed 23 minutes of sleep hunched next to the crib with his hand on her chest.

He had woken up somehow feeling more tired.

The receptionist transferred him to Angela when he called.

“That’s certainly not good.” Her voice was calm, professional, and a touch concerned. Garrett hated how small and helpless he sounded in comparison, like he was asking for permission to panic. “The clinic’s booked for the weekend, but we’ll schedule you for the first available slot on Monday. I’d recommend taking her to walk-in care, I can fax Alex’s info and have them bump her ahead as a priority.”

“Okay, I- I’ll do that.” His voice cracked a bit, but Angela didn’t comment on it.

“You’ve got this Garrett. I’ll get in contact with the walk-in on fifth and I’ll call you if we have any openings.” Her voice was soft, so soft it made him want to call his mom, but he just nodded, then stumbled to respond verbally when he remembered she was on the phone and couldn’t see him nod.

Alex whined as she was buckled into her car seat, trying to arch her back and escape the buckles.

“I’m sorry, princess. We just gotta go to the doctors and they’ll make it all better.” He rubbed a thumb over her blotchy forehead, looking at her tiny exhausted eyes. Her little lip wobbled as he secured the chest strap, and the guilt made him nauseous.

Or maybe it was because he hadn’t eaten since he’d made lunch on Friday for him and Steve, but the thought of eating made the feeling worse.

He packed the fussy baby in the car and set off for the walk-in clinic. He’d never been there before, it had only been around for five or so years and he still used the family practice that was near where he grew up on the few times a year he ever needed to go. He’d always powered through illnesses through brute force, but he still attended his yearly physical if only to appease his mother.

The passenger seat had never felt more empty as he drove to the walk-in clinic, a white knuckled grip on the steering wheel and tired eyes squinting at the road. He probably shouldn’t be driving right now. He probably should have called Dawn, but he didn’t. He never really did the things he was supposed to.

Walking into the lobby, his first thought was how cold and impersonal it was. There was no mural or toys, no children playing. There was a dusty rack of magazines in the corner and scattered patients about. It smelled like antiseptic and the lights above were bright and harsh on his tired eyes, he was glad he had zipped her car seat cover closed. The linoleum floor was cracked in some places, reflecting the cold lighting and squeaking underneath his shoes as he struggled to carry both the car seat and diaper bag.

He could taste the cleaner they used in the back of his throat, his nose burning from the timed air freshener spray on the far wall that sprayed every few minutes. It smelled like sickness under the mask of clean, and he wanted to take Alex right back outside.

“Hi, I’m here with my daughter Alex. Our clinic should have sent her information over?” He greeted the receptionist tiredly, getting a look over the rim of her wire rim glasses before he looked back at her computer and typed.

“Yeah, I see her. We’ll be with you shortly. Have a seat and fill this out.” Her voice was clipped and professional as she handed him a clipboard and directed him to one of the uncomfortable looking chairs.

His brain sluggishly mulled over each question, even the simple ones about Alex’s symptoms. He knew the answers, but his brain felt disconnected from his hands, and he spelled their last name wrong somehow before he caught it and scribbled it out to rewrite it.

He stared at the paper and hated how much he wanted to run every answer by Steve. He even pulled out his phone for a moment when the temptation got to be too much, only to remember that he couldn’t call Steve even if he wanted. His cell phone would be in the lock box and Garrett would just go to voicemail. He had to face this alone.

He could handle it, he’d told Steve he could handle it.

Alex let out a shrill cry, arching against her straps. He scrambled for her binky, putting it back in and cradling her tiny head as she looked at him through slitted eyes rimmed with exhaustion. He could feel the dirty looks from the other people in the lobby, a woman nearby scoffing behind her magazine as he quietly shushed Alex.

His brain wouldn’t quiet as he handed back the clipboard and tried to only look at his daughter and not the other people around them. The same nerves he always got bringing Alex to the doctor was present. She seemed normal, but she wasn’t born in this world, and he’d always worry they’d see something in her that made them realize she wasn’t normal.

“Alex.” A nurse opened the door and called out ten or so minutes later. He hurried to stand as a few people made annoyed noises at him being bumped again in priority.

The nurse smiled at Alex a few times as she led them to one of the sterile looking rooms and took the baby’s vitals, touches precise even as the baby weakly squirmed away.

She placed her on the baby scale to weigh her, and Alex didn’t scream this time. She whined pathetically, looking up at him with wet eyes.

When the number came up the nurse frowned slightly. Garrett immediately leaned in, trying to read the display. The number was lower than it was at her two month check up, he remembered it because Steve had made a joke about her getting her chunk from her dad, and Alex had squealed like she agreed.

“Has she lost weight?” He asked nervously, already knowing the answer. The nurse didn’t answer him or try to assuage his fears, just marked down something on her chart and gave him a polite, noncommittal smile. It was an answer in itself.

His mind spiraled. That wasn’t good. She was already so small, and babies losing weight was a very bad thing.

“Sir?” He blinked, zoning back in at her concerned smile as she grabbed his attention with a wave. He wondered how long she had been trying to get his attention.

“I said Doctor Blake will be with you soon.” She left him alone in that cold exam room, cradling his exhausted baby and trying not to focus on the black spots dancing in his vision.

When the doctor finally entered, taking far longer than ‘soon’ had implied, he was a man around Steve’s age or a bit older with a white coat and a detached look on his face. It was so different from Angela and her lovely personality, this man looked at them only as patients, and he wondered if Alex was even a person to him.

Doctor Blake looked up from his clipboard and took in the sight of the bedraggled man and infant.

“Which one of you is supposed to be the patient?” It didn’t feel like a joke, more like a dry attempt at humor that fell flat.

“She is. I’m just- I’m tired is all.”

The doctor nodded and left it be, beginning to run down a list of questions.

“When did she last eat?”

“I offered a bottle before we left the house a little over an hour ago, but she only drank a half ounce. She hadn’t finished a bottle since yesterday.”

The doctor nodded, writing something down.

“Last time she soiled a diaper?”

“8 this morning.”

He was given a look at that, and Garrett knew that it wasn’t a good sign.

“Dehydration risk.” He said out loud as he wrote something else down. The exam went on, the doctor prodding the infant and recording any responses she made. Even as young as she was, Alex was clearly terrified of the other man and trying to cling to Garrett any time the doctor touched her. Garrett wanted to shove the man away from his baby, muscles tense with the effort not to every time Alex let out another panicked cry.

“Her weight’s down since her two-month checkup,” The doctor added without looking up. “That kind of drop in an infant this age isn’t typical unless something’s interfering with intake, or absorption.”

“But she was doing fine before,” Garrett blurted. “She was eating.”

Dr. Blake finally looked at him, expression flat. “And now she isn’t.”

Garrett swallowed hard, blinking fast. He had no argument for that.

Garrett adjusted Alex in his arms, feeling the heat radiate off her forehead, the sluggish way her fingers curled against the hoodie he’d thrown on that morning.

“What do I do?” He asked quietly, voice cracking like he already knew the answer and just needed someone else to say it. He just wanted a miracle fix, but the stern look on the doctor’s face made him doubt one was coming.

Dr. Blake didn’t look up from his notes. “We could attempt oral rehydration. If that fails, the next step would be inserting a nasogastric feeding tube. Depending on how she responds, we may consider admitting her for overnight monitoring.”

The word admitting hit like a punch. Garrett flinched. The doctor didn’t sound worried even as he talked about taking his baby.

“Admit her?” He heard himself say. “Like… leave her here?”

“If she doesn’t start eating soon, that’s the safest course. Infants can dehydrate very quickly, and her intake’s already quite low. An overnight stay would allow her to be stabilized and tests could be run if needed. We’re a small clinic, so I’d have her transferred to the pediatric wing of the hospital.”

‘Tests’ the thought made him shiver. What would they find if they looked? The thought of his poor baby being away from him, away from everyone she knew, in a cold hospital overnight. The thought of a tube in her body, of an IV in her little arm, it broke him.

Alex stirred in his arms and let out a soft, uncomfortable whine. He rubbed her back on autopilot, saying soothing words under his breath.

“We’ll monitor her vitals for a few more minutes, and I’ll give you a solution we can try. If she doesn’t tolerate it, we’ll discuss next steps.” He sounded impatient as he checked his pager, like he had better things to do. It made Garrett’s blood boil.

Alex jerked in his arms, letting out a wheezy little cough.

He pat her back gently, looking down as she let out a wet gurgle and gagged once, then twice, and something dribbled from her mouth and onto his hoodie. He went to wipe it with his sleeve, only to freeze when he got a better look at it.

It…wasn’t right. Instead of the milky spit up he was used to seeing, this was wrong. He leaned closer, trying to focus his eyes. The spit up was made of particles, unmistakably square and oddly familiar.

Pixels. His daughter had just coughed up pixels.

For a long moment, too long, he just stared blankly at the shimmering puddle, vision tunneling and pulse speeding up.

His blood abruptly turned to ice as it truly sunk in, eyes shooting up to look at the doctor. He was engrossed in his clipboard and hadn’t seen it, so Garrett rushed to cover it.

He almost gasped, but he forced himself to swallow the sound. He couldn’t give it away, couldn’t tip the doctor off that something was wrong. His heart was pounding so loud in his ears he couldn’t hear much of anything, and the effort of trying to breathe normally made him feel like he was drowning.

His mind was running a million miles a second. What was that? What did that mean? He couldn’t let them see that or they really would take her from him, and if they admitted her they’d definitely see it. What would they do to her if they did? She was proof of something impossible, and people were willing to do horrific things to understand impossibility. What if it was in her blood? What was he even supposed to do?

Blake paused, brow twitching as he watched Garrett scrub his hoodie with his sleeve.

“Was that spit-up?”

“Yeah. Yeah, just from earlier, I think. She’s been- she’s just tired.”

The doctor frowned. “Keep track of frequency and volume. Any change in color or content could be significant.”

Garrett nodded too quickly, still cradling Alex as if he could wrap his whole body around her to hide her from view. She whined where her face was pressed against his arm, such a weak sound from her normal battle cries.

“I’ll be back shortly,” the doctor said.

The door clicked shut behind him, and the room was too quiet. Garrett’s breath shook as he looked down at Alex. Her face was blotchy and pale. Her lips looked dry.

He should’ve brought her in earlier. He should’ve called someone. He should’ve called Dawn. He wanted Steve so bad, and he’d never been more aware of how impractical having no communication or access to those in the Overworld was until now.

But he hadn’t called anyone, and now it was too late to admit he couldn’t do this alone. He had failed, and his baby was suffering.

He couldn’t let them have her. He didn’t know what was wrong with her, why she was -glitching? Was that the right word for it? But he couldn’t let anyone else find out. He just needed to keep her safe until Steve could get home, he’d know what to do.

He needed out of here. Now.

The doctor returned with a packet.

“This is an electrolyte solution, I’ve printed out instructions, but you’ll use this in small amounts at home. If she refuses it or doesn’t improve within the next 10 hours, return immediately or bring her to the emergency room to be admitted.” The doctor handed him the packet and instructions which he struggled not to snatch. He put them in the diaper bag, letting the doctor continue to talk as he buckled the unhappy baby back in her car seat. She cried at being put back in, fighting the straps but too weak and tired to do much more than weakly flail her limbs. It broke his heart just a little more.

“Yeah, thanks. I’ll monitor her at home. I’ll call back if anything happens.” He was already standing as the doctor printed out some forms and handed them to him. He thought he heard his name called from behind him as he hurried out the door and down the hallway without an escort.

He exited into the lobby, bypassing the receptionist who called after him to ask if he needed to book a follow up. Her voice echoed in his head, a confusing jumble of words he could barely decipher.

He had to get her out of here before she could glitch out again and realize that she wasn’t normal. He couldn’t risk staying around for another moment.

“I’ll call if I need to.” He parroted numbly, rushing through the plain lobby and into the parking lot. Spring was just starting, so it was nice out, but he felt cold down to his bones as he rushed to pack the infant in the car.

Alex let out another weak cry and spit up again, and once again it was pixelated.

“I’m sorry baby, we’re going home”. He promised shakily, wiping her mouth with his sleeve and stumbling to the driver door.

He just had to get home. He just had to get her to eat enough until Steve was home. He didn’t want to admit how wrong he’d been about being able to handle being a father, but Alex was more important than his pride. Even if Steve never forgave him, even if he lost Alex, as long as she was okay, as long as she was safe, it would be okay. He’d been alone before, he could be alone again. Alex mattered here, not him.

Garrett always got himself into the worst situations. He always got in over his head. Always let his pride rule his life.

His latest dream about Alex dying flashed in his head as he drove, making him slam a little too hard on the brakes at a red light.

“I’m sorry baby.” He wasn’t sure if he was apologizing for the braking, or about everything else. “We’re going home. We’re going somewhere safe. I promise. I promise.”

-

They were home and things still weren’t getting any better.

Alex let out another frustrated scream, turning her face away from the bottle. He kept trying to get it in her mouth, but she just used her tongue to push it to the side of her mouth and screamed. She’d barely drank any of the solution, just enough to barely wet her diaper an hour later. It had been the happiest he’d ever been seeing a soiled diaper, but the realization she’d peed out the little bit of hydration she had was sobering.

She was exhausted, it was clear in every heaving sob and whimper, but he couldn’t help her if she wouldn’t eat!

He wanted to scream and throw things, he wanted Steve, he wanted her to goddamn eat and sleep so he could just have five minutes to think!

She may have been legally his daughter now and not a ward of the state, but he knew that she could be removed if he wasn’t doing a good enough job. He’d done everything he could think of, had tried other formula, tried warm, cold, every temperature imaginable, and every nipple in the box. She just screamed around it.

The fact he’d have to call the doctor’s office back was looming over him like a dark cloud. They’d probably admit her, put a tube in her tiny body, and take her from them because they clearly couldn’t care for her. They’d realize she wasn’t normal and she’d spend the rest of her life in a lab, and even if they didn’t, the state would probably never give her back.

He pressed his head into his hands as she screamed beside him, trying to breathe through the weight in his chest trying to strangle him.

He bet this wouldn’t have happened to Steve.

The same repetitive thoughts echoed in his head.

Steve probably could have handled this by himself, calm and sure of himself as he always was. He’d faced dragons and creatures beyond Garrett’s comprehension, he’d lived for years running off scattered sleep, he was meant to be a dad. Garrett had never been meant to be anything.

Alex let out another sob, startling him from where he’d started to doze sitting up.

“Alright.” He rasped hollowly, rubbing the moisture from his eyes. “Let’s try again.”

-

He’d remade it again, having to wash a bottle since the sink was full with the ones she refused. He made it lukewarm like she used to prefer and walked towards the bedroom where her screaming was echoing from.

God, he didn’t want to go in there.

That made him a bad person, didn’t it? His daughter needed him and all he wanted to do was hide in the furthest corner of the house and scream. Steve wouldn’t have felt this way.

Every time she screamed it made it hard to breathe, his hands shaking and vision blurring. He loved her. He loved her. Why did the thought of looking at her right now make him sick? What was wrong with him?

He went in there anyways, because of course he did, picking up the fussing baby and carrying her to the rocking chair, swallowing the nausea and giving her a watery smile.

“I love you, bug.” His voice was hoarse, and the words were true, but they tasted like bile. “I love you so much.”

He sat down, gritting his teeth as she thrashed in his arms. His back hurt, his eyes felt like sandpaper, and he felt like he was drowning. He tried to force it back, stamp it down and focus, but every fresh pathetic scream scrambled his thoughts.

“You can do this,” He whispered. “You always do. Just one more time.” He pressed the bottle to her lips like it was a prayer, held his breath.

She cracked open her swollen eyes, latching immediately and taking a few starving sips. He momentarily relaxed, only for her face to screw up as she gagged on it and tried to pull her head away, tiny hands pushing the bottle away.

He was so frustrated, so tired, so broken, but he didn’t mean to yell. Yet, he did.

“Drink dammit! If you don’t drink they’re going to take you, Alex! I’m sorry I’m not Steve, okay? I’m fucking sorry!” The words were strangled and wet with the sobs trying to claw their way out of his chest. His eyes burned and it hurt to think, and yelling didn’t ease any of it, it just made instant regret choke him.

Alex startled, green eyes going wide and she stared at him in terror.

There was a moment of silence, like the still air after a gun shot.

Slowly her face screwed up and she inhaled, and then she screamed with her entire body, like she’d been burned. He’d scared her, he’d yelled at his baby and scared her. She was already hurting and he’d made it worse.

Holy shit he was the fucking worst.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to yell, I’m sorry!” She didn’t care about his apologies, sobbing and shaking.

God, she was so scared of him. She just screamed harder as he tried to shush her and apologize, only vaguely aware of the tears escaping his eyes as he begged her to please just stop crying. He couldn’t think with her screaming like that.

His brain yelled at him to stop thinking about himself for just one minute, that she was crying because of him and he deserved the way her crying was searing into his brain. Every little flail of her body made him tense, every brush of her skin against his making him sick.

He loved her! He loved her, so why wasn’t that enough? Why did he have to break everything he touched?

He was stuck in the rhythm of her sobs, hollow and aching. Had it been seconds? Minutes? His hands shook where they cradled her back. He didn’t know if he was rocking her or just trembling.

He couldn’t fix this. He’d broken something. He’d broken her .

He wasn’t sure how long he was hunched over his baby, long enough that her screams had died into little heartbreaking sobs, when he heard the door opening.

Steve .

He wanted to feel relief at seeing Steve, to collapse into his arms and beg him to never leave again, to apologize for existing, but seeing him barely quelled the panic under his skin. He shoved the sobbing baby into his arms.

“She won’t eat, maybe she’ll eat for you. I need to go.” He didn’t give Steve time to talk, pushing past him and ignoring his calling out as he ran away from his problems. She was with Steve now, she was safe and he needed out of that house. Steve would know what to do, he could fix what Garrett did and everything would be okay.

The panic of being away from the baby warred against the panic of being near her, but his need to escape to where her screams couldn’t reach and he could just have a second to breathe had won out.

Ohgodhewasleavingher-

She’ll be fine! She was with Steve. He knew what he was doing better than Garrett did. Everything would be okay. He’d just get in the way. She wouldn’t want to be around him. He’d screamed at her, scared her. She was better off if he was as far away as possible.

Was that just an excuse because today every time she’d cried he’d wanted to die? Because he had always been a selfish person, and he couldn’t even put up with his own weakness to comfort his own baby?

He walked until the pain in his legs had gone from aching to burning, finding himself kneeling on the edge of a broken up sidewalk with his hands in overgrown grass and gasping for air. He choked on each heaving breath, the fact he couldn’t breathe making the panic worse. He felt like he was dying. His chest hurt and his lungs burned, and something was wrong with him.

He was pretty sure that he was dying, and one of the vicious little thoughts circling around in the cacophony in his head whispered that it was a good thing.

What the fuck was wrong with him?

Black spots danced in his vision and he knew he was crying but couldn’t even cover his face. His hands were in fists in the grass and his body wasn’t responding to his commands.

Garrett was going to die here, and Alex’s last memory of his was going to be of anger.

Damn, he really was the spitting image of dear old dad, wasn’t he?

Breathe .

A voice that sounded like Dawn’s cut through the incomprehensible screaming his thoughts had become.

Through the hazy panic a fuzzy memory surfaced. Natalie had had a panic attack when they were out one day. Henry had done something and gotten hurt. Fallen maybe? Or had an experiment gone wrong? Nat had curled up and started gasping and shaking, insisting that she was dying. Dawn had crouched down next to her, voice calm and soothing as the boy’s all stood petrified. She’d told him and Steve to be human barriers and had Henry crouch beside her, and she’d started to talk.

Breathe, honey.

I know it’s hard, I know it hurts, but you’re going to be okay.

Garrett gagged, coughing as mucus dribbled from his mouth and nose. He couldn’t see much more than a blurr of green through the tears in his eyes. He hoped he was alone, that no one could witness what he’d become.

You’re stronger than your brain thinks you are. Breathe with me, Garrett.

In.

Out.

He made a pitiful sound as he swallowed and gasped, a lungful of burning air flowing into his lungs. The pain ignited, chest burning like hellfire as he gasped and coughed his way through a few choking breaths. It wasn’t much, it felt like he was breathing through a straw, but it was air .

There we go Garrett.

His throat burned, he was breathing, but it wasn’t working. He was just gasping, each shallow breath leaving his lungs too fast. He wasn’t getting any air, he was still dying.

Too fast Garrett.

One more time.

In.

He took another wheezing, ragged breath.

Hold it. Count to five with me.

His entire body seemed to protest as he held the burning air in his lungs to the count of the voice in his head.

Out.

The air punched out of his lungs, making him retch into the grass. His stomach roiled and seared, but there was nothing in it to expel, so he just coughed up bile.

That’s okay, you’re breathing now.

Again.

It became easier every time he repeated the action to Dawn’s gentle commands in his head. The ringing in ears had faded to a dull buzz and his chest still hurt so bad he wasn’t sure his heart would ever stop racing, but he was breathing. Every exhale made the next breath in a little easier.

You’ll be okay, Natty. Dawn had helped the teenager stand on shaky legs, letting her lean as much as she needed as Henry hugged his sister’s other side and pretended not to cry. You’re a badass, a panic attack could never kill you.

Garrett stared at his balled up fists, slowly uncurling them and shaking the ripped up tufts of grass from between his fingers.

He looked around him, head jerking oddly as his body fought to regain control.

He was alone. He’d never been so glad to be alone.

He was in a place he hadn’t been to since he was a teenager, somewhere his feet must had blindly carried him. An overgrown basketball court forgotten by the city that had been run down even in the 80’s, and now was a dilapidated shell of a court. The ashalt was cracked up and had tall weeds growing in between. The hoop on the right side had been stolen at some point, and the only thing remaining was a pole jutting out of the ground. The other one was intact, but the netting had all rotted away and the glass backing had shattered.

He used to bring Grayson, his little brother, here when their mom kicked them out so she could sleep after her night shift. Garrett sucked at basketball, but his little brother was good at it, so he just let him tire himself out with the other kids. He’d gotten into a few fights with older boys for them pushing his pipsqueak brother around. He’d never been good at fights, especially as a teenager, so he’d gotten his shit rocked a few times.

Now that he wasn’t actively dying, his thoughts were coherent brought to whisper venom into his ears.

He had screamed in a baby’s face, his baby’s face. He was a terrible father. He was just like his dad, yelling at his kid for no reason.

She had been scared of him.

He became aware of his phone vibrating in his pocket, and he wondered how long it had been doing that.

He didn’t want to talk to anyone, to face the consequences of his actions, but he forced himself to pull out his phone. Steve’s contact flashed, the contact photo of him and Alex on the screen. Steve was making a silly face in the photo with a newborn Alex’s face squished against it. The contact never failed to make him smile, but at that moment it filled him with dread.

It didn’t help that his body still felt heavy and disgusting, his head pounding even worse than before. He felt like he was rotting from the inside out, every part of him trying to shut down against his will.

He slid the answer icon over with shaking fingers, pressing the phone to his ear and squeezing his eyes shut as he waited for the anger.

“I’m so-“ His shaky apology was cut off by Steve’s panicked voice coming over the line, making his brain burn as he pulled the phone further away from his ear.

“Are you okay?!”

“Am I…okay?” Garrett parroted, dumbfounded. Was he okay? What kind of question was that? And, was he okay?

“Thank you for picking up, now where are you? Can Nat or Dawn come get you? I know you needed space, but it’s been a while and everyone is worried. You don’t sound okay. Are you okay?” Steve sounded frantic, but seemed to calm down a bit as time went on. Just hearing Garrett’s voice was enough to quell some of the panic.

Garrett didn’t hear wailing in the background.

“How’s Alex?” His voice sounded wrecked, giving away everything he didn’t want it to.

“Alex?” Steve sounded confused. “Yeah, she’s fine. She fussed herself to sleep. Do you need to talk to her?”

“No! No, it’s fine.” Garrett hurriedly protested. What if the sound of his voice made her cry again? What if she was scared of him now? He wouldn’t be able to bear it. She was finally resting, probably since Steve was home.

“If you’re sure… Now can one of the girls get you? Or if you want I can come get you, just say the word.”

“And trust you to not crash? No thanks.” The ribbing came naturally, but guilt immediately washed over Garrett anyway. They always joked like that, but what if he was just being an asshole? What if he made Steve hate him too? He was barely keeping it together having Steve as his co parent, if he made him hate him, he’d have nothing left.

Steve laughed a little, but it was high pitched and tinged with worry.

“I’m getting better! So?”

Garrett sighed. He wanted to keep walking, walk as far away as he could until he didn’t feel like shit, but he couldn’t run forever. He had to get this over with, they had to know what he did, what he’d started to realize over the past few months. What had become glaringly obvious.

He wasn’t cut out for this.

“I’m by the courts on Chefferson.”

“You walked there?? Nevermind, someone will come get you.” Steve didn’t hang up even as the pipping sound of the phone’s keyboard getting pecked filtered over the line.

“Dawn’s nearby, she’ll be there in a minute, hang tight.”

Garrett stared out over the dying town, the effort of trying not to make himself more stressed was exhausting. Not that he wasn’t already exhausted, a bone deep weariness that made his very soul ache. He was so tired, he’d been tired for months now, but every time he fell asleep Alex would need him, and it felt like defeat to wake Steve up. If he’d been better at this, she’d be sleeping through the night. She’d be eating. She’d be gaining weight.

Dawn’s familiar car slowed to a stop on the street bordering the courts, the woman leaning out the window.

“Garrett! We’ve been looking everywhere! Come on in!”

“Is that Dawn?” Garrett had forgotten he was still on the phone with Steve.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll hang up now, see you soon.”

Dread settled in his gut like a stone.

“Love you.” Steve said, like he’d taken to, and then he hung up.

Garrett’s throat hurt with the effort to speak.

“Love you too.”

He got into the car with Dawn on autopilot, sitting in the passenger seat and staring at the dashboard.

Dawn took one look at his face and her expression softened.

“ Oh honey. ”

Her voice was so kind, and he knew he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t look at her, not because he didn’t want to, but because he worried that if he did he would start crying again.

“You okay, Garret? You worried us-“ Her soft hand was reaching out to touch one of his hands clenched in his lap, and he could barely feel it. The glass felt thicker than it had ever been, and she was miles away from him even as she touched him.

Of course he had worried them. Garrett was always causing trouble for the people he cared about.

“-Nat’s driving down the residentials, Steve will let her know we found you. Henry was about to take the jet pack out-“ She was talking, but he couldn’t focus on a single word.

What was he going to say to them? He’d yelled at the baby and made her cry, and then he’d abandoned her. He was so pathetic it made him sick. He knew he was a loser, he’d known that for years, but they had believed in him! They had thought he could be a good dad, and he was going to have to admit they were wrong.

“-Ret? Garrett? You okay? We’re here.” Dawn rested a hand on his shoulder, pulling him back to the moment. Sure enough, they were pulled up outside the house.

“I’m fine.” He gently shook her hand off and opened the car door, feeling like he was moving in slow motion as he looked down the walkway to the door. It seemed so long, and too short. Sure enough, they walked down it far too quickly.

Dawn gave the door a knock as she opened it, yelling to the house that they were back as they filed inside.

Everyone was gathered there, staring at him.

“I-“

He squeaked as Steve rushed over and pulled him into a crushing hug, picking him off the ground for a second before he let go.

“Sorry, I didn’t ask if it was okay, that was rude.” Steve was still in his space, and Garrett both wanted to push him away so he could breathe and to grab him tight and not let him go.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked him again, worried about the wrong things.

“Where’s Alex?”

Steve looked confused. “She’s in the other room, she fell asleep after fussing a little. Want me to go get her?”

“No! Let her sleep.” He couldn’t face her, couldn’t see her fear. It would break the little resolve he had left.

“You don’t look so good.” Natalie’s voice was soft as she looked over Garrett’s appearance. His hair was tied up messily and his eyes were raw and puffy, and there were dark circles underneath. He looked like hell, to be generous.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not, man. What’s going on? What happened? If you couldn’t get her to calm down you could have called me, and if I wasn’t topside yet you could have called Dawn!” Steve didn’t look mad at him, and it was frustrating. He should be mad. He should be pissed! But here he was, being so- so- Steve!

Garrett looked at all of them. His friends, his family, people who believed in him. Who trusted him.

They were all looking at him with concern.

He had to tell them, had to admit his guilt.

“Alex is losing weight.” His voice sounded so weak to his ears, wavering slightly as he dragged his eyes across their faces. “She’s not eating, no matter what I do, and something is wrong with her.” He stared at his hands, studied the way they shook.

“Do you know what’s wrong with her?” Nat sounded like she was already running through a mental checklist. The tension in the room had spiked, and everyone was staring.

“I brought her to the doctors-“

“You went alone?!” Dawn interrupted them, the others in the room whipping their heads around to stare at her. She threw her hands up. “Sorry! It’s just, you should have called me, Hon. you know I would have dropped everything to go with you.”

Garrett’s throat tightened with the effort not to break.

“I know. I thought I could handle it. I was wrong, I’m sorry.” The apology tasted like ash.

“So what did the doctor say?” Nat put the conversation back on track with her soothing tone, clearly trying to keep everyone focused and not panicking.

“He talked about putting in a feeding tube or taking for a while to make her stay in the hospital, but while we were there something happened. Alex… She coughed up pixels. I rushed out of there because I didn’t want them to see, and I’m scared to bring her back.”

Steve’s eyes widened, as if he had remembered something.

“I think she did that a few weeks ago, after her first appointment.”

“Why didn’t you say something!” Nat was scolding Steve before Garrett could, leaving him just to gape with confused eyes at his friend.

“I thought I was seeing things! When I looked again it was normal.” Steve defended himself, eyes round with worry.

Garrett looked at the dried smear on his hoodie where he’d rubbed her spit up away earlier. It did look like any other stain, not particularly pixelated.

“So this has been happening for a while then?” Henry piped up from where he was sitting on the couch with his knees pulled to his chest. “But she’s only been sick for a few days? Maybe it’s unrelated.”

“She isn’t exactly a normal baby, it wouldn’t be shocking if her digestion worked differently than ours.” Nat mused, knocking her fist gently against her forehead as she began to pace.

“Then why won’t she eat?” Garrett’s voice sounded wrecked to his own ears, and he cringed at it.

“I actually-“ Henry piped up, only for Alex to make a sound from the bedroom. Everyone immediately went silent and looked over, Steve already getting up to go get her.

“Wait!” Garrett’s heart was in his throat again, panic rising back over him like a crashing wave. “Don’t bring her out here. Please. Let me leave the room, I don’t want her to cry.”

Steve looked at him, really looked, and Garrett wanted to hide from his gaze.

“Why would she cry? She loves you.”

Garrett spoke quietly, but in the near silent room, everyone heard.

“Because I yelled at her.”

There was a moment of silence, his knees shaking with the effort not to dump him on the floor as everyone looked at him, perceived him, saw him for what he really was. He wished he’d stayed by the courts and had just texted them, he shouldn’t have come back here.

“Why’d that happen?” Steve’s voice was still soft, but there was a steeliness to it. He still didn’t sound angry, but he sounded serious, and that was far scarier coming from a guy like Steve.

Garrett was trying so hard not to blubber in front of everyone. He was clenching his jaw so hard it hurt, fists tightly wound at his sides as his entire body shook.

“I don’t know- I didn’t mean to. I was tired, and scared, and- and she wouldn’t eat! And I scared her and made her cry, and she won’t want to see me. I should go. I’m sorry.” He took a step back as if to leave again, but Steve was suddenly in his space.

Garrett flinched, and he vaguely registered that he’d never seen more shock and grief in Steve’s eyes as he watched him curl away. Steve’s hands slowed, and the grasp on his shoulders was gentle as he was pulled away from the door and walked backwards until he fell back on the couch.

“Sit.”

Steve disappeared into the other room despite his protests, and they all heard him quietly talk to Alex as he got her up.

Garrett eyed the door, unsure if he could even handle this in the state he was in.

Steve re-entered with Alex cradled so she was facing outwards, making a beeline for Garrett and holding their daughter out towards him by the armpits.

He closed his eyes, he didn’t want to see her cry.

Instead of her cry, he heard a loud shriek. It wasn’t her scared or hungry one, but her battle cry they always said came from Steve, the one she made when she was happy.

He cracked open his eyes.

She still looked exhausted, color off and eyes red, but she had a big smile on her face. Her dimples were on full display, chubby little cheeks bunched up and hands grasping towards him.

“She loves you.” Steve stated, like it was the truest fact in the world. “She loves you so goddamn much.” His voice trembled at the last part, as if he was saying so much more than the words that come out. “Take our baby.”

Garrett slowly reached out and took her from him, bringing her to his chest. She snuggled against him, tiny fist in her mouth.

Don’t cry. Don’t cry in front of everyone. Keep it together, Garrett.

“So what do we do? We can’t bring her back to the hospital and risk them seeing something they shouldn’t, but if she doesn’t there will be trouble.” Dawn looked nervous. “Janet will have already been called by now, and if Alex doesn’t improve soon our arm will be twisted on the matter.” He’d forgotten about Janet. Angela had probably informed her immediately after the call since she was Alex’s case worker, he wouldn’t be surprised if he had a missed call from her. He didn’t have the energy to check his phone at the moment.

“Actually, I have a theory on that.” Henry piped back up, unfolding his knobby limbs from where he was sat in the recliner and standing up to retrieve his backpack.

“So, she’s not from our world, right? Maybe her body can’t fully handle stuff made here, and it’s only now becoming a problem. She can probably build a tolerance eventually, but for now she’s too little. Like how Dennis got sick for a while trying to eat dog food until we started cutting steak into cubes.”

He was rummaging in his bag, the whole room’s attention on him. He made a noise of triumph and pulled out pixelated glass bottles, like the ones used for potions.

“I brought these back to look at under a microscope, I wanted to know if the Overworld had microorganisms, two of these are boiled and one isn’t. Why don’t we try making her a bottle with this?” Henry held up one of the bottles with a nervous grin.

“It’s worth a shot, right?” Natalie was already taking the bottle and going to the kitchen. “When you were a baby, mom couldn’t use tap water because it upset your stomach, we had to use bottled only.”

Everyone waited with bated breath as Natalie washed and mixed up a bottle. The square water poured into the plastic bottle in a stream, seeming to briefly glitch in the rounded receptacle before it settled in a pillar that didn’t touch the sides. She added the formula, making a six ounce bottle.

She shook it, the powder failing to mix.

There was visible disappointment hanging over the room, then, in a flash, the water abruptly turned white as it combined.

“We can try to craft our own bottles too!” Henry grabbed his notebook and began to sketch out recipes surrounded by question marks, but he paid attention as Natalie handed the bottle to Garrett.

“Steve, maybe you-“

“Feed the baby, GarGar.”

Garrett obeyed, putting the nipple in the baby’s mouth.

He braced himself. She was going to spit it out again and they’d be all out of options. She was going to cry and it would be his fault again.

Please, please take it. Just take it, baby girl.

The room watched in silence, Henry’s pen frozen on the page and Natalie’s hands clasped tightly, no one daring to breathe.

She whined around it for a minute before latching to take a few sips. He waited for the gagging, for her to turn her head away, but she just began to make her hungry noises and grabbed his hands where they held the bottle. Her eyes were shut tight, but she seemed to relax as she finally drank something.

She was eating, oh god she was actually eating .

Something in his chest cracked, and then shattered all at once.

Garrett frowned as a drop of water landed on her face, trying to wipe it with his thumb. Another appeared, and he realized he was crying on her.

He cleared his throat and tried to blink away the tears.

She was still fighting, she hadn’t given up. She still trusted him, could relax into his arms and drink.

Memories rushed him so fast he couldn’t focus on a single one. Sitting up late with his sick baby brother because mom was at work and he couldn’t call her. Getting his first job to prove something to the world. Winning a championship and becoming someone. Fading into the background. They rushed through his fingers like water, leaving him feeling raw and exposed.

“So now that we have a plan!” Nat called the room’s attention, voice soft and commanding as she stared down Garrett. “What happened?”

“Yeah.” Steve sat down beside him, knees almost touching his. “Why did you face this alone?”

He knew that ‘because he had to’ or ‘because he was alone’ weren’t answers that they’d accept.

Garrett could still feel the glass around him, still felt distant, but everyone was here . It was terrifying and he hated it, but this was real and they were talking to him.

“I… You’re amazing, Steve.” His voice was slightly distant, but he could see the confusion clearly.

“I am? I mean, I am, but what does that have to do with anything?”

Garrett cracked a smile.

“You’re an amazing dad. You’re perfect at this. I’m- I’m not. I can’t sleep anymore, I have these awful dreams, I want to throw up every time Alex isn’t within reach. I feel like I’m losing my mind!”

“Then why did you tell me to go if you needed me?” Steve moved like he was going to touch him, like he always did, but he stopped himself, and Garrett felt a stab of pain directly in his heart.

“I just wanted to prove to myself I could be a good dad too.”

Steve smiled weakly at him, but it came off more as a grimace.

“It’s great that you think I’m perfect at this, but I’m not, Gare. I can never get her to burp, but you can always do it easily. I still can’t cook anything without making charcoal. I’ve bought the wrong brand of diapers twice and given her a rash. I am winging this, and if I had to do this alone I’d probably become a head case.”

Steve didn’t seem mad still, but he kept making aborted motions to touch Garrett’s leg, and every time he stopped himself Garrett’s stomach hurt more.

“She didn’t calm down after you were gone and I didn’t know what to do!”

“Then why… I feel like I’m failing her, Steve. I can’t sleep anymore, I can’t do anything right. I love her but every time she cries I can’t breathe. Something is wrong with me.”

“Garrett, do you know what postpartum depression is?” Dawn’s voice was soft as she stepped nearer to him.

“Isn’t that something moms get?” He looked at her in confusion, Alex still grumbling away in his arms.

“Actually, it affects moms and dads. A baby is a big change. You haven’t been sleeping. Have you been eating? Exercising?”

Garrett thought back to the last time he ate, which was still Friday morning. He also hadn’t worked out at all since Alex was born, too exhausted. He shook his head.

“Not much.”

“So you went from an active lifestyle and good diet to eating little, barely sleeping, and not getting any exercise. You’re crashing, Sugar.” She put one of her soft hands on his shoulder, and he swore he could actually feel the warmth of her hand on his skin.

Garrett felt the feeling quickly becoming familiar rise up, the pressure behind his eyes  and the tensing on his jaw, and he felt a new wave of tears escaping him. There was no stopping them, even as he looked away. He didn’t know how he even had tears left.

“Stop making me cry. I don’t like it.” His voice was so shaky and weak, like he was a kid again telling his mom he fell off his bike.

“I cried for forty minutes last week because I had a dream Natty didn’t make it in the final battle.” Henry poked his curly head over his notebook, eyes a bit shifty and cheeks red as any teenage boy is about showing emotion, but having to chip in anyway.

“I cried making dinner yesterday because I forgot one of my mom’s recipes.” Natalie added, reaching out to squeeze her brother’s shoulder.

“I cry all the time! Dennis nosed his way in between me and Raimy the other night like our old cat used to and I sobbed like a baby.” Dawn didn’t talk about her fiancé much, but they knew about him even if they hadn’t met him.

“I… I don’t cry much.” Steve flinched at three angry stares suddenly aimed at him. “Or I used to not! Alex, I cry about Alex sometimes. I’m very close to crying right now, I think.” Steve ran his knuckle under one of his eyes, seeming to both be unable to look Garrett in the eye and unable to look away from him.

So, surrounded by his people, by his family, Garrett broke down. It would be something they’d never bring up again, but he’d cried until he was exhausted and his throat hurt. He’d blubbered like a baby, and he’d gotten a group hug.

He sobbed so hard the bottle shook in his hands, but Alex kept drinking and patting her tiny hand against his.

“Honey, how about this. You’re going to eat something-“ Dawn was still next to him with her arm across his shoulders even as the kids and Steve stepped away from the huddle.

“If I eat right now I’m going to vomit.” He interjected weakly.

“Okay then, you’re going to go straight to bed and sleep until your body catches up on all its missing, and then you’re going to eat, and we’re all going to have a talk. Nat, take the baby please.”

Garrett made a pitiful whining sound as Alex was taken from his arms by Nat, still drinking her bottle happily. She hadn’t even minded being clutched as Garrett sobbed, had just made her little noises.

Dawn pulled him up off the couch and into his room, batting away any of his attempts to care for himself as she mother henned him into loose clothes.

“After you wake up you’re also getting a shower pronto.”

“You better let me do that one alone.” He grumbled as he was tucked into bed.

Dawn laughed, gently flicking his forehead.

“Garrett, you’re like a brother to me and I love you, but I’m never helping you in the shower. That’s Steve’s job.”

Garrett flipped her off, but his eyes were already having a hard time staying open as the exhaustion that had been plaguing him finally won out.

Dawn smoothed back his hair, frowning down at the state her friend was in. His hair was greasy and his skin was pale, and he looked so much like some of the mothers she’d seen as a case worker. Ones that were shouldering everything until it broke them.

She stomped out of the room as quietly as she could, shutting the door behind her.

Nat and Henry were sat on the floor with Alex who had apparently finished her bottle and was happy and sleepy. She cooed, trying to grab Henry’s finger and pull it to her mouth.

Steve was on the couch, staring hard at his hands.

“Children.” Both kid’s head snapped up at her tone, eyes wide. “It’s such a nice day out, why don’t you put Alex in the stroller and take her around the block.” Her smile was tight, and they were immediately scrambling to stand.

“Steve and I are going to have a chat .”

Chapter Text

The kids silently got the baby packed in her stroller and hurried out the door. They could feel the anger and stress radiating from the normally calm Dawn, and neither of them particularly wanted to be there when it boiled over.

The door clicked shut behind them, the air in the room becoming noticeably more tense as Dawn turned her furious eyes towards her friend.

Maybe some of her anger was misdirected, she was to blame too for things getting this far, but she didn’t live with Garrett. She’d been busy with work, a poor excuse for not realizing her friend was struggling so badly, but Steve had seen firsthand Garrett struggling. Steve could have nipped this in the bud, or just fucking told her something was wrong, but instead he let things get this far.

Garrett had just yelled at the baby, something she’d known plenty of stressed and tired moms to do, but she’d seen what could happen when a parent carried everything alone. She’d sat by the bedside of shaken babies or comforted grieving spouses who didn’t understand why they’d been left alone, and while she didn’t think Garrett would ever do something like that, she’d learned a long time ago that stress and lack of sleep while dealing with a constantly crying infant changed people.

“I-“ Steve went to stand up-

“Sit!” She snarled, and Steve’s ass immediately parked right back on the couch, eyes wide. Dawn had never raised her voice at him in all the time he’d known her, in fact, he’d never heard her use that tone ever.

“Now, how the fuck did this happen?” Her voice was a hiss, but her eyes were full of barely disguised panic as her eyes kept flicking to the bedroom.

“Henry wanted to go to the Overworld for a bit, I didn’t plan to go, but Garrett told me it would be okay.” Steve’s defense sounded weak to his own ears, hands wringing in his lap as he fought to keep eye contact.

Dawn’s hands were on her hips, nose flaring as she let out an angry breath.

“And you looked that man in the eyes and believed him? He looks like hell, Steve!”

“He didn’t look that bad before I left!” He defended himself weakly. “Or- I didn’t think he did.” Had he? Had Steve just not wanted to see it?

“He looks like he hasn’t been taking care of himself for weeks, I can tell these things, it’s my fucking job! I’ve seen this before, Steve, it never ends well.” She threw her hands up and paced for a moment, trying to get a handle on her emotions. She pressed a hand to her forehead and forced herself to take a few calming breaths, turning to face Steve.

“Okay.” She started again with a forced facade of calmness. “Let’s take it from the top.” She normally had no issue being impartial, she’d seen situations like this a thousand times, seen the heartbreaking ways they could end. It shouldn’t be affecting her this bad, but seeing her friend like that ignited a rage she hadn’t known was there.

This was Garrett. He’d pissed her off to no end when she’d first met him, and she’d thought he was a horrible influence on Henry, but he was their idiot and she cared about him a lot. He felt like a little brother she’d never had, kinda stupid but endearing, and while he was falling apart she didn’t notice.

Maybe part of that rage was at herself. She’d been so busy with work, her caseload increased while another worker was on leave, and she’d only called to check in a few times. She hadn’t seen Garret in person in two weeks until she’d pulled over to the abandoned courts and saw him looking like he’d just gone through hell all by himself.

If something worse had happened, she would be just as much to blame.

“How long has this been going on?”

Steve thought for a moment, thought of all the mornings he’d woken up and Garrett had brushed him off, saying he’d handled Alex for the night, thought of how his inability to make anything on the stove without burning it had meant Garrett had been making food more often, thought about how Garrett had been steadily pushing him away. Was it his fault? Had he done something?

“I think it started a few weeks after we brought Alex home.” He settled on. “He started pulling away from me. I figured that he just needed some space.”

Dawn sighed, finally collapsing on the couch beside him so they were on the same level. She snatched a pillow from it, gripping it to her chest.

“Why’d you let him pull away? The last thing he needed was space.”

“I don’t know, I always liked it better when people left me alone to figure out what I was feeling?” Steve didn’t like people trying to diagnose his problems and help. Of course, those people had always been coworkers or acquaintances he more tolerated rather than liked, and their advice was always shit. Before his mom had died he’d always gone to her for advice when he was struggling, but after she died he preferred to handle his problems alone.

“Garrett, he’s the type that won’t ask for help. He’ll drive himself to rock bottom trying to do everything himself because of his pride, you can never let him do this again. You are Alex’s dad too, you are allowed to take her places without him. Don’t let him push you away, don’t let him do this alone.” Dawn sounded so frustrated with him, hands strangling the pillow as she begged him to not make the same mistake again.

Steve thought about the past month and a half, about how things had slowly gotten worse and he’d let them.

It had started small, with Garrett not waking him up for his turns feeding Alex, with him insisting on taking her everywhere in the house with him and even wearing her in the baby sash when his arms got tired, with him starting to insist he was present any time she left the house. He’d known in the moment that Garrett was becoming overbearing with the baby, but if it made him happy, Steve was content to let him do whatever he needed until it passed.

So he let Garrett slowly crush himself under the weight of his own responsibility, let him drown alone because Steve couldn’t see that he was falling apart.

And he had been, hadn’t he? Slowly breaking apart piece by piece as Steve watched from the sidelines. Isolating himself and pushing everyone away.

He’d looked Steve in the eyes and told him that it was fine if Steve left him alone for the weekend, and Steve had believed him .

He trusted Garrett to handle the baby, of course, but he should have seen the signs. He should have been a proper co parent, a proper partner, and realized he should stay.

“Dawn, is this…my fault?”

Dawn looked away from him, and that felt like an answer in itself.

Because it was, wasn’t it? He’d been the one here the whole time, the only other person who knew Garrett was trying to carry everything, and the one who let him.

“You’re not without blame”

Steve could handle anger, but this- this quiet disappointment- was worse.

Dawn continued.

“-but it’s not all on you either. It’s on all of us, and Garrett shouldn’t have tried to do everything himself, but now what’s done is done and we have to go from here.”

Steve felt bogged down by guilt, he hated guilt.

“I’ll do better.” He promised her quietly. “This will never happen again.”

Dawn stared at him for a long moment, searching for something in his eyes, and nodding when she found it.

“The kids and I are going to take Alex for the day.”

Steve opened his mouth, then closed it when she cocked an eyebrow.

“You need to focus on Garrett. Let him sleep, we’ll handle our girl. The kids will have to get more water for her, I’ll watch her during that, and she’ll be okay. I’ll call you if I need to. I don’t want Garrett to wake up and immediately force himself to take care of her. Let him shower and eat in peace for once, and then you two are going to talk.” She reached forward to poke his chest.

“And I mean talk, Steve. None of that ‘I’m good bro’ ‘okay bro’ shit, you talk about what’s been happening and learn how to never let it happen again. Alright? I am trusting you with this Steve, don’t make me regret it.”

He nodded, maybe a tad frantically, and she thankfully removed her finger from where her nail was stabbing his chest.

“Alright. So here’s the plan I have in mind.”

Dawn told him about postpartum depression and separation anxiety, and the usual plans they had when working with parents suffering from it. Garrett may not like them for it, but they needed to push for independence for both his and Alex’s sake. He needed to be able to be a person and not just a dad, and she needed to not be held by him constantly.

It might not be easy, but it would be worth it.

Dawn excused herself to call Nat and tell the kids they could come back as Steve went to go pack Alex’s things for the day away.

He snuck into the bedroom to grab supplies from the changing table, but he stopped as he saw the form on the bed shift slightly.

His steps were careful as he crept around the side of the bed, instincts from not waking the Warden coming in handy.

Garrett insisted on being on the far side of the bed closest to the crib, and his body was angled towards it even in his sleep.

Steve could see his face clearly in the dim room, and it was like a punch to the gut.

He looked…ill.

Garrett had always looked out together to Steve, like a Greek statue with perfect hair, always standing tall and always posing. Now, with arms curled to his chest and his breathing shallow, he didn’t look like himself anymore.

His face was more sunken than it used to be, and his skin was pale. His eyes were baggy and puffy from crying earlier, and he looked more fragile than a man like Garrett ever allowed the world to see.

Steve dared to reach a hand out, running his fingers through the brunette hair fanned against the pillow.

It was greasy and tangled, something Garrett never let happen. He’d walked Steve through his hair care process once, back when he was trying to convince him that he shouldn’t only use a 3-in-1 for everything, and he’d talked about each step with pride. He’d bragged about the conditioner that cost way too much and how long to let it sit, and he’d looked so soft under the bathroom lights as he ran a comb through his hair.

His hair was important to him, so was his physical appearance, and here he was, looking like he’d gone three rounds with the Wither.

Steve had let this happen.

He had looked at this visage two days ago and decided that he looked fine.

What was wrong with him??

Steve frowned down at the sleeping man’s face, relaxed but still pinched with stress, and made a quiet promise.

“You’re not alone, Gare.”

He’d do better. He had to, or what kind of dad was he?

-

Garrett came back to consciousness with a groan.

He felt oddly heavy, like he’d sank into the mattress and become one with it. Every twitch of his limbs felt like fighting against molasses as he tried to get his thoughts back in working order.

He squinted at the ceiling of the dark room, following the stretching shadows with tired eyes. His brain was foggy, but it was a sleepy fog and different from the one he’d been stuck in. The biggest difference was that he could already feel it disappearing the longer he was awake, whereas the one he’d been stuck in had refused to budge for weeks.

Finally, as he scrunched up his face and yawned, shaking off the last dredges of sleep, he could clearly think.

He used this new power to asses the situation he was in. He was tired, but it wasn’t the bone crushing exhaustion he’d gotten used to, and he felt he wouldn’t physically be able to sleep more even if he wanted to. He was also fucking starving.

What had happened? He remembered everyone was at the house, which was a bit unusual. Usually they hung out together at the store or went on outings when they were free, they weren’t usually all in his house.

It had something to do with…

Alex!

He bolted out of bed on uncoordinated limbs, stumbling over to the crib in a near blind panic. She hadn’t been eating, he’d almost lost her!

The crib was empty, making his heart seize in his chest.

Where was she? Where was his baby? Had they taken her?

“Gare! Gare, calm down.” He jumped abruptly when Steve appeared from behind him, hands up in a placating gesture.

“Where’s Alex?” He asked breathlessly, even more terrified to not see her in Steve’s arms.

“She’s safe, she’s with Dawn and the kids. She’s eating and doing much better, but we all wanted you to have a minute away from her.”

Garrett frowned hard, eyes blazing. He knew it wasn’t fair, but he snapped anyway.

“Why do you get to decide that for me?”

“Gare.” Steve put a hand on his shoulder, and the fact he could feel it clearly shocked him into silence. He hadn’t noticed it, but he felt… human again. “I’m Alex’s other dad, I am also allowed to make decisions about her. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but you needed to sleep and if she was here you weren’t going to take care of yourself.”

That was fair, he supposed. He felt nauseous at the thought of Alex being miles away from him, but his heart also sang at the chance to get away from her for a moment. He loved her so much, but after the past two days, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to hold her just yet. It was confusing, both needing to hold her and feeling like if she was placed in his arms he’d have a panic attack.

“Speaking of, how about you take a shower while I make some food?” Steve was smiling at him, and the overwhelming need to never be far from him again blindsided Garrett. It was probably just stress from being alone during a hard time with Alex, but it didn’t lessen the tightness in his chest any less when Steve took his hand away and stepped out of Garrett’s space.

Come back , a traitorous part of his brain echoed. Come back and never leave me again .

But he was a big boy, so he ignored the part of him that wanted to hold onto Steve until their souls fused together and their breaths were one, and he went to go take a shower.

-

He heard Steve start to quietly sing to himself in the kitchen as he crossed the hall to the bathroom. Despite Dawn’s teasing he very much did not need Steve’s help showering.

But did he want-

Nope, nipping that thought in the bud.

He pulled his sweaty clothes from his skin with a grimace, shrugging out of t-shirt that was far too big for him. It was probably Steve’s, but it wasn’t Cyan, so maybe it was old. Steve very rarely wasn’t wearing his signature color.

As he tossed the shirt in the laundry bin, he caught his own reflection in the mirror.

As always his eyes were immediately drawn to his back. To the scars. He twisted around to see them better, even though he’d memorized them a while ago. He hadn’t been able to stop looking at them when they’d first gotten back, when they were still fresh and painful.

Injuries in the Overworld didn’t really bleed or fester, they just instantly scarred if you didn’t immediately use a potion. Steve was covered in them, especially on his arms from catching stray arrows or nicks from past battles.

Garrett hadn’t even seen them until he had gotten home, until he had finally gone to shower after everything they had gone through, and the pain in his back was finally bad enough to investigate.

The explosion had mostly caught his back as he’d jumped, the pain drowned out by the teeth rattling explosion on the bridge behind him. Sure, it had hurt. It had hurt more than anything he’d ever experienced in his life up to that point, actually, but there were more important things to do. It had been easy to shove the burning sensation in his back to the back of his mind to help save the world. His clothes hadn’t really been damaged much beyond being stained black with soot and reeking of smoke, so it made sense to assume nothing was wrong.

But now he stood, staring at the white and pink raised skin spanning across his back like a messily painted canvas, the skin oddly pinched and puckered across his shoulders and down his spine to a design he did not know the purpose of but knew by heart all the same. Sometimes they itched or hurt like flames lapping against his skin, but when he touched the raised scars, he only felt vague tingling. They were sensitive in some places, while in others the sensation was completely dead. Most of the time he forgot they were there until he went to do a move or gesture and he felt the skin pull taut as it restricted him, and then he remembered.

Hey , he thought as he turned his back away to the mirror. They could have taken his devilishly good looks instead .

Speaking of those looks, they weren’t doing too hot either.

He frowned at his own face. He looked…ill. His hair was a disaster, something he never ever let happen, and his eyes were oddly sunken. The bags had lessened slightly, but there were still deep, his latest sleep not having been able to budge two months worth of consistent exhaustion from his face. He had lost some muscle definition and his skin was also a shade paler than it should have been. He’d always been a tan kid, and he’d taken some pride in the natural tan he kept into adulthood, but now he looked pallid.

When had it gotten this bad?

He turned on the shower to a warm setting, he really couldn’t stand hot water on his back anymore, and grabbed his comb.

He ended up having to brute force his way through the snarls in his hair as he conditioned it, washing it twice just to get the greasy feeling to go away. He scrubbed his skin until his brain was truly firing on almost all cylinders again.

It was weird showering without the baby nearby. He’d developed the bad habit of having her either sit in her bouncer in the room while he showered or just taking her in with him so he could get her clean too. It was exhausting juggling a baby while trying to shower, and his hair care had suffered dramatically, but it kept him from worrying about her the whole time.

She would make soft echoing noises over the sound of the water, lying against his chest as he gently washed her with a washcloth. She loved to watch the water fall around them, patting his chest and resting her little head on his shoulder. It was so cute, and it was almost worth having to do everything one handed.

He had grabbed a few showers when she was napping, but it just caring for himself had become an uphill battle somewhere along the way.

A lot had happened recently.

He didn’t know how to feel about any of it. It felt weird to try and recall anything that had happened, the edges of his memories fuzzy. It was like he had been sleepwalking for weeks and was finally waking up, and that was terrifying. He still didn’t feel 100%, like part of his soul was missing, and that was even scarier.

He remembered that he’d yelled at Alex and made her cry, and that the whole group had talked, but it was all hazy. Why had he yelled at her? She wasn’t eating, he remembered that, but why had he yelled? Garrett had never raised his voice at a kid before, it was a personal rule of his, but he’d yelled at a fucking baby.

He stared at the shower wall as he let the water run over him, the sensation forcing his mind to stay tethered to his body even as his thoughts ran rampant.

Why wasn’t anyone mad at him?

Steve had looked at him with his sad puppy eyes, no hint of the anger that should have been present. Garrett would have been pissed at Steve for raising his voice at Alex for no reason, so why was Steve treating him with kid gloves and being all nice?

He forced himself to get out the shower despite every bone in his body protesting against it. He didn’t have the energy to blow dry his hair, so he just let it lay wet against his shoulders and wrapped in a towel.

He joined Steve in the kitchen when he was dressed, nose wrinkling at the burnt smell in the air.

“I tried to make eggs, but they didn’t won’t out. So I made you a bagel.”

Garrett forced down the odd sense of guilt for being made food and took a seat, awkwardly sitting as Steve placed a very crispy bagel in front of him covered in cream cheese.

He took a bite, wincing at the loud crunch of the glorified crouton and giving Steve a thumbs up. He’d tried.

Steve took a bite of his own bagel, not seeming to mind the crunch much.

They ate in mostly silence, aside from the crunching. Garrett had started to relax a tiny bit, the chance to eat both holding or bouncing a baby was a golden one. It would be more enjoyable if Steve stopped looking at him like that.

“Steve.” Garrett’s tone was irritated.

“Yes?” Steve straightened up like a soldier called to attention. Garrett hated how his brain picked up the lack of ‘Dear’, which Steve had been playfully tacking on since they’d first moved in together.

“Chill the fuck out.”

“Oh. Yeah, sorry.” Steve finally looked away, giving Garrett a moment of peace.

They lapsed into silence again, but as he took the last bite of his bagel Steve spoke up. Those eyes were back on him, bearing into his soul.

“I think we need to talk, Gare.”

Garrett tensed up.

He knew those words well.

Those were the words his exes would say before telling him he was too self absorbed and unaffectionate and that hings weren’t working out. Those were the same words his mom used before she’d broken the news that the missing persons case for their dad was being closed.

He hated those words.

Especially since he knew exactly what would follow.

What Steve had clearly been easing the blow for.

Steve had put the dishes in the sink and they were now sitting on the couch facing one another.

Steve opened and closed his mouth a few times, clearly struggling with how to break the news.

Garrett made it easy for him.

“You’re taking Alex from me.”

Steve stared at him with wide eyes.

Garrett sighed, the crushing weight of the glass dome he’d been stuck in pressing down on him.

“It’s okay, I knew it was coming.” Of course it had been. He’d been obsessive, an asshole to Steve, had lied about being able to handle the baby, and had screamed at her for being needing him.

Of course Steve didn’t want a man like that around Alex, Garrett wouldn’t want that either.

“Wait!”

“You can keep the apartment, there’s a loft above the shop I use for storage I can sleep in.”

“Garrett!”

Garrett hunched in on himself, trying to breathe through the panic of not being around his baby anymore. He understood, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

“Can I visit?” His voice cracked. “I get it, but I don’t want her to think I didn’t want her.” He was just like his dad, an angry man who left his family.

“Garrett!” Steve lunged across the couch to seize the other man by the shoulders, giving him a shake. “Shut up.”

Garrett shut his mouth with a click, staring into Steve’s wide, panicked, and slightly wet eyes.

He went to open his mouth again, but Steve put his entire hand over the bottom of Garrett’s face, covering his mouth.

“Dude! Let me talk!”

Garrett stared at him, unable to speak even if he wanted to and keenly aware of Steve’s rough palm against his lips. It was very distracting, and the way it made his stomach flip wasn’t something he had time to focus on right now.

“You aren’t leaving! Well, if you want- actually, you know what? No. You’re not allowed to push me away anymore! It’s like, very uncool. We’re supposed to be doing this together! I can’t do this without you, and I don’t think you can do it without me either.” Steve was panting as he finished yelling, looking startled at his own outburst.

“Well, anything to say?”

Garrett hummed behind the hand still on his mouth and raised an eyebrow. The sibling in him wanted to lick Steve’s palm to get him to let go, but it felt…weird. Would it be better to bite him instead?

Just as Garrett decided that was a better choice Steve pulled his hand away with an apology, saving himself.

“Sorry, sorry. Just, stop that. Assuming everyone is mad at you.”

“That’s the problem, why isn’t anyone mad at me?” Garrett looked across the room at the baby swing, at the blanket hanging over the arm of the recliner, at the toys scattered around the floor. At all he could lose.

Steve leveled him with a look, one he didn’t particularly like.

“Are you mad at yourself?”

Garrett spluttered.

“Of course I-“

“Then why would I be?” Steve rudely cut him off, brown eyes bearing into his with so much sincerity it made Garrett ill.

Steve ran a hand down his face with a groan.

“Listen, you never would have reached that point if I hadn’t let you.”

Let him? What was that supposed to mean?

“You’ve been pushing me away, and I’ve been letting you. Trust me when I say Dawn ripped me a new asshole over it!”

“I…” Garrett didn’t know what he was supposed to say, how he was supposed to ask the questions in his head that didn’t form into words, but remained confusing jumbles of feelings.

“Gare, do you have any idea how scary it was to watch you disappear into yourself like that? I was waiting for you to talk to me, that’s on me. I should’ve pushed. I knew you were struggling and I let you do it alone.” Steve looked properly chastised over it, and Garrett wondered just what Dawn had said to him. He was rubbing the back of his neck and looking away, guilt written across his face, as if he had anything to be guilty over.

“Steve, no. You shouldn’t have had to.” Garrett always ended up this way, having to rely on the people around him. He’d finally broken free of that and had been something, and had been fighting against the tide of losing it all for years. He just wanted to be able to be something alone.

“Not how this works. I’m your co-parent, not a babysitter. I’m not going anywhere, and if we don’t talk to each other how are we supposed to raise an awesome badass baby?”

Co-parent. The other half of this family. A word that felt impossibly heavy to carry.

Garrett looked away staring hard at the wall and trying to think of what he was supposed to say.

Steve reached out and put a hand on his jaw, gently pushing his face back so he was looking at Steve.

“Look at me.” Steve’s voice was soft like Garrett was a spooked animal, face so close Garrett could see the way the light made his brown eyes golden.

“I yelled at her. Steve.” His voice was so much weaker than he expected, wavering slightly. He hated it.

“You yelled at her. Yeah. And then you scared the shit out of yourself. You didn’t hurt her, Gare. You scared yourself more than anyone else.” Steve didn’t try to change the facts, he had yelled at her, but he didn’t seem to think of it as the huge deal it was.

“She deserves better. She deserves something who doesn’t- fall apart like this.” He’d been failing her from the moment he’d brought her home, and especially lately.

It’s because you’re trying to do everything alone. His brain whispered, This wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t shut Steve out in the first place.

“She deserves you, trust me. You’re going to pull yourself together and we’re going to be stronger as a unit, and it’ll be amazing.” Steve was clearly trying his best, but he looked stressed out by the whole situation.

After a moment he sighed, a bone weary sigh that came straight from the soul.

“I’m sorry, Gare.”

“What are you apologizing for?”

“I’m not good at people, never have been. You’re different, so are the others, but old habits die hard and all that. I didn’t know what to say to help, so I said nothing at all. That’s on me.” That was a bit surprising, since Steve was great with people, or it seemed like he was. He was charismatic and charming, and almost everyone who met him liked him. When they were approached about Alex he always talked proudly and confidently. He never seemed to struggle.

Garrett used to be good with people. He was always labeled as weird, but winning a championship and getting a sponsor had made him popular despite it. He learned how to talk to newspapers and cameras, and eventually how to talk to customers, but people became harder as the years passed. As the world changed and he didn’t.

He supposed Steve and him were similar in that regard.

“I didn’t want you to see me like that.” Of all the people to witness his weakest moments, it was the people he cared about. People he’d been trying to show his strength to, and Steve who he’d been squabbling with over who was better even though they both knew Steve was. He hadn’t wanted them to see how broken he could be.

“I think I needed to. How bad would things have gotten if I wasn’t forced to confront that you needed help? We’re in this together.”

Help.

Garrett had a complicated relationship with that word.

He understood it, he even understood asking for help when necessary. He’d dragged his little brother to food pantries plenty of times when the money couldn’t stretch, but that had been for his family. Asking for help for himself was different.

But wasn’t this his family now? Wouldn’t letting himself fall apart only hurt Alex and Steve?

He needed to get through whatever this haze was so he could be a good dad again, even if that meant swallowing his pride.

“Gare.” Steve seemed to sense he was close to getting whatever he was looking for, pushing a little more. “You’re not just her other dad. You’re- you’re my other half in this. I couldn’t do this without you. I wouldn’t want to do this without you! I’m glad I made Alex with you. You think I’d be able to keep her alive on my own? You do so much for us, you need to let me help too.”

“Steve…” Don’t cry, he’d cried so much lately. “I-“

They both paused as there was a muffled chirp from the kitchen.

“Steve?”

“Yes dear?” Garrett felt something deep in his soul ease at the simple term of endearment.

“Why is the freezer chirping?”

Steve turned red, scratching the side of his beard.

“I, uh, didn’t want to set off the fire alarm, so I took the battery out, but it wouldn’t stop chirping, so I put it in the freezer.”

Garrett stared at him. Properly this time. Studied the way the daylight came in from the windows and lit up his eyes, the way his expressions always pulled in the most exaggerated ways, the way he was so uniquely him.

Steve made a surprised noise as Garrett abruptly pulled him into a hug.

He didn’t look at Steve, tucking his head against the other man’s shoulder and squeezing him tightly so the part of him that had been desperately needing this could just be quiet already.

Steve was soft, hugging him was like hugging a pillow, while deceptively muscular arms toned from years of mining wrapped around him.

“Gare-“

“Shhh, give me a minute.” He could feel embarrassment over this later, beat himself up for making things weird, but right now he needed this.

“No- I mean, go ahead, but damn dude you’re going to break my ribs!” Steve wheezed, abruptly gasping as Garrett loosened his death grip. “Don’t let anyone ever tell you you’re weak, Jesus fuck.”

“Sorry.” Garrett forced himself to pull away, scooting a few inches back until he could no longer smell the bitter scent of Steve’s soap. Steve looked a bit disappointed but didn’t follow him.

“Don’t apologize. Hugs are important.”

They lapsed into another silence, watching each other.

“Steve, what do I do?” His voice was quiet, but Steve heard it all the same.

“What do you mean?”

“Something in me is messed up. How am I supposed to be a good dad if I can’t fix it?”

“Well, to start, we’re going to help you fix it. Dawn gave me a rundown on how we can help, and we’re going to stick to it. Biggest thing is you’re not going to handle everything anymore. I’ll learn to cook more and I’ll get up with the baby more so you can sleep, and you need to let yourself take a step back.”

“Steve, I can’t. I can’t.”

“Dawn said we’ll start small. You’re doing amazing right now, but we’ll have you take little breaks from Alex until your anxiety is better about being away from her. I’m confident that once you get more sleep and time to yourself things will feel a lot better. We’ll go from there.”

Garrett stared down at his hands when looking at Steve’s face became too much. He was burdening everybody and he knew it, but this was necessary. It never would have happened if he hadn’t let it. If forcing himself to step back from being with Alex constantly was the best course of action, he’d do it, even if the thought made him sick.

He suddenly very much wanted to hold his baby. He was still nervous to see her, but the background anxiety of her not being in the house was starting to mount.

“Hey.”

Steve moved his hand into Garrett’s field of vision. His calloused palm was facing upwards, an offer.

Garrett slowly reached forward until their hands touched and Steve curled his fingers around Garrett’s.

“We’re in this together, and I’m not going anywhere. Neither are you.” He sounded so confident, like he knew for a fact Garrett could handle this. Garrett wished he shared the sentiment.

“Okay.” He settled on saying, focusing on the fact that he could feel the warmth of Steve’s fingers, that his voice was actually coming out when he spoke. “Yeah. Not going anywhere.”

They just existed together for a moment longer, hands still clasped.

“Can we bring Alex home now?” Garrett’s voice was hesitant, wincing slightly. He will still nervous to see her, but he also felt like if he didn’t see her soon he was going to die.

“Yeah, GarGar. Let’s call Dawn.”

-

Dawn came back alone with the baby, the kids having been set free to enjoy the rest of their Sunday. There wasn’t much of it left, since apparently Garrett had slept for twelve hours straight since he laid down Saturday afternoon.

She walked into the house when she got there, comfortable enough to just announce herself as she opened the door, juggling the carrier and a few bags. They knew she was on her way back, so it wasn’t a bother.

Garrett stood to greet her, trying not to rush over and check on the baby as Steve helped take her bags. He peered into the carrier, making eye contact with a bleary eyed Alex. Dawn let him, then set the carrier down and pulled him into a hug.

He was getting a lot of hugs lately, not that he minded much.

He pat her back as she squeezed him with deceptive strength before stepping back and studying his face.

He looked better than he had the day before, and she relaxed a bit seeing that.

“How’re you feeling?” She probed as he crouched down and began to get Alex out. He hesitated slightly as he got closer to her, willing his hands not to shake as he undid her buckles. He wasn’t sure if he was worried about upsetting her, or if he just didn’t want to hear her screaming again.

She’d likely just woken up, but she gave him a smile as he held her up. He smiled back, the tightness in his chest easing.

“Better, I think.” He brought Alex against his chest, the baby mouthing at his shoulder and making happy growls and squeaks. She was looking at Steve over his shoulder, who was making silly faces at her.

“Good. You two talk?” She inclined her head between the man with raised eyebrows.

“Yeah, we’re all good! I went over the plan we made.” Steve hoped he relayed everything right, Dawn hadn’t exactly left printed instructions. He might ask for those actually.

She nodded, relaxing a little.

“Good. Now Garrett, eventually I want to hear your side of everything from you, but not today. Today just hold your baby and remind yourself that you’re doing your best.”

“So, I’m going to go home now that Auntie duties have been fulfilled. She was an angel, she’s been drinking every bottle after the kids went and stocked up on her cube water, they’re in the blue bag. Call me anytime, and if either of you ever give me that kind of scare again, I’m putting llama shit in your bed. Love you!” She left like the whirlwind she was, blowing them a kiss and closing the door behind her. She’d also picked up on saying I love you when on the phone, and Garrett was the only one left who didn’t do it regularly.

Garrett pressed his nose to Alex’s downy hair, taking a deep breath in.

Why had he ever not wanted to touch her? He loved her, even if she made it hard to breathe sometimes.

Steve let him be a little clingy with her, but he got Garrett to let him hold her when he made food. They’d have to go to the grocer tomorrow, he’d agreed to open the store later for a few weeks until he was back to normal, since their mornings were usually slow anyway. He was considering switching to a 12am opening time, but he hadn’t made a decision on it yet. Change was hard, and he’d had so much of it lately.

Steve had offered to cook again, but he’d only just rescued the smoke alarm from the freezer and got it put back in place, he didn’t want to take it down again yet.

He kept shooting glances at Steve as he stirred the cream cheese into the tomato sauce, something Steve had temporarily been horrified by. He needed to pick up meet again, he hadn’t had enough protein lately.

Alex was being held backwards against Steve’s chest, his arms underneath her butt as she laid back against him. She was chewing on the side of her binky and looking around with wide eyes.

She was okay. She was calm. She was alive. She wasn’t screaming. She wasn’t in his arms, which made his skin buzz uncomfortably, but Steve was safe. He was holding her and she was okay.

“I’ll learn to cook eventually! It’ll be a good hobby to pick up.” Steve was watching him intensely, taking mental notes as he watched Garrett work.

“We’ll master breakfast first.” Garrett felt some guilt, but he also was exhausted with meal prepping for a man who could only cook using the microwave. He’s been cooking a big meal at the end of the week and they’d live off it for a while, but something he enjoyed had started to become a chore.

He served the pasta and sat, staring at Steve.

“You’ve held her while eating every single night, let me hold her tonight.”

Garrett grimaced, but reluctantly let it be. He supposed it was easier to eat with both hands free, and watching Steve struggle to do something he did easily was a little funny.

He went to do the dishes after they finished, but Steve handed the him the baby.

“Ah, no. If you’re going to cook, I’ll do the dishes. It’s my job anyway. Hold the baby.”

“I could put her in the carrier-“

“No. Shoo.” Steve pushed him out of the kitchen and started on the dishes. He insisted on doing them most nights since every time he attempted to cook it was a disaster, but Garrett needed to move if he might actually die.

He settled for sneakily doing the laundry while Steve was distracted, but throwing it in only took a few minutes and then he was bored again. He could play a game, he hadn’t been playing any of his consoles lately, and Alex liked to watch.

He played a few hours of an old console while Steve read a parenting book Dawn had given them. He didn’t like to read much, but there he was with his little old man reading glasses engrossed in the book. It was cute, honestly, and it made Garrett feel some relief that, of all people, he’d made this baby with Steve.

-

Steve woke up the next morning alone, and he wasn’t very happy about it.

He stared at the empty spot next to him, then at the empty crib on the other side of the room, and sighed.

Progress was an uphill battle, he had to remember that.

He heard talking from the living room, so they hadn’t left the house thankfully. He rolled out of bed and snuck over to the cracked open door, slipping into the hallway and peering into the living room.

His mouth went a little dry at the sight.

Garrett was talking to their daughter as he did push-ups on the living room floor. He was blowing raspberries on her little exposed belly every time he transitioned to a plank, making her squeak, and then telling her how cute she was as he pushed himself back up.

His hair was tied up in a bun to stay out of his face, and it looked clean now. He looked a bit better, still exhausted, but better.

He was wearing that well worn retro gaming half shirt that made it hard for Steve to put his eyes on Garrett’s face, and he could see the muscles flex under his skin as he did another push-up. He dipped down, kissing the little pale belly of their baby and grunting softly as he pushed himself back up and held it to smile down at her.

Would it be wrong to say that seeing this did things for Steve?

It was probably wrong of him to ogle a man he’d just accidentally put through hell, so he forced himself to push aside the overwhelming affection and want, and focused on the mild irritation he’d left the room with.

“You’re up early.”

Garret looked up at him, effortlessly holding a plank as he grinned sheepishly. A few stray stands of hair had escaped from his bun and were framing his face.

“Woke up, couldn’t go back to sleep.” He pushed himself up, arms flexing. “Besides, someone didn’t wake me up a single time last night.” His tone wasn’t very happy anymore, and he was raising his eyebrows at Steve.

They’d put the monitor sensor next to Alex and the receiver right next to Steve’s head so he’d hear her sounds before Garrett did. Thankfully she hadn’t screamed at all and he’d manage to sneakily scoop her up before her fussing had become wailing.

“She only woke up twice, I thought she’d be up again after her 2 o clock bottle so I figured I’d let you have that one.” Garrett had insisted on being woken up for at least one bottle a night.

Garrett made a displeased face at him, but accepted it and effortlessly did another push-up.

“Well I fed her again when I woke up an hour ago, and I decided to work out. I’m so out of shape.”

Steve eyed the muscular line of Garrett’s abdomen and the sharp line of his exposed hip bone, and then the bulging muscles of his arms as he did another push up with a soft grunt that felt illegal to hear.

“Yeah. Obviously. That’s sarcasm, by the way.”

Garrett rolled his eyes at him.

“Fine, I’m out of practice, that better?” There was a thin sheen of sweat to his skin, and Steve wondered how long he’d been at it.

“You should join me, it’s good for the mind.” He

“No thanks, content to just watch.”

Garrett stuck his tongue out, and like the mature man he was, Steve stuck his tongue out right back.

This felt…right.

How long had it been since Garrett was joking with him? He’d been snappish lately, but just sleep alone was enough to bring some of his personality back. It was this easy the entire time, and that hurt more somehow.

Garrett went back down on his elbows and blew a loud raspberry on the baby’s belly.

Alex let out a peal of shrieking giggles and both men froze, eyes wide as they stared at the smiling baby.

“Did she just-“

“Do it again! That was a fucking laugh!” Steve kneeled so fast his knees cracked, shuffling over to get closer to the baby.

Garrett repeated the action, and Alex let out another belly laugh.

She’d shrieked a lot and smiled, but these was the first time she’d laughed .

Garrett’s face whipped towards his, their noses inches apart as Garrett’s eyes seemed so sparkle. They looked greener than he remembered, and so full of joy.

“Dude, get the fucking camera!”

Steve scrambled up and away to get Garrett’s phone from the bedroom as the man yelled directions over the smiling and wiggling baby, heart pounding for many reasons.

Steve skidded back into the room, phone in hand and fingers fumbling on the screen until the camera appeared. He pressed the red circle and thrusted the phone towards the baby, who’d gone suspiciously silent.

“She stopped.” Garrett said in a stage whisper, staying down at the baby with wide eyes. She smiled back up at him. “She knows.”

“She knows?” Steve echoed, horrified.

Garrett nodded with a solemn look on his face. “She senses the camera. She’s ascended.”

Steve kept a serious look on his face as he crouched next to the baby, who turned her wide eyes towards him.

“Alex, darling. You need to laugh again for daddy, no one’s gonna believe us if you don’t.”

Alex blinked at them owlishly, looking between them before her tongue peeked out. She was mocking them. The joy had apparently passed.

“Okay, let’s try again.” Steve took a step back and restarted the video. “Go.”

Garrett leaned down again and blew a raspberry on her belly. She smiled and kicked her legs, but not a single sound came out. Not even an Alex patented shriek of joy.

“She’s turning into a moody teenager before our very eyes.”

“She’s already grown out of the phase where she thinks we’re funny.” Garrett dramatically collapsed next to her, one arm splayed out like he’d been downed in battle, the other pillowed under his head so he could stare fondly at the baby. Alex had a huge gummy smile directed at him, and it was beautiful.

Steve snapped a picture.

“Got it, this is going straight in the album, titled ‘ Alex’s First Betrayal ’.”

“You mean the album we don’t have?”

“I’ll get to it, give me time!” Steve had been meaning to make them one, but he still didn’t know how to get the pictures off the phone and onto paper. He’d have to ask the kids.

Garrett laughed, and it was real and genuine and fucking amazing, and picked up Alex to hold her over his head. Steve hadn’t heard that sound in far too long, and it hit him right in the chest. He wanted to hear that sound for the rest of his life.

“You’ll laugh again one day, just maybe not when we’re trying to get proof, huh?”

Alex drooled on his chest in response.

“Fair.”

Garrett made faces up at the baby above his head. He looked like himself again, sounded like himself again.

Steve was never going to let him change back.

Eventually he stood and stretched, arms over his head and top riding very high for a moment.

“I figured I might dig the pull up bar from the hall closet and do some of those, and then I can start of breakfast.”

“I got it! I can make it when you clean up.” Steve jumped at the chance to prove himself, that he could be a proper other half.

Garrett grimaced.

“Are you sure? It won’t take long.”

“Trust me, I got this.”

Garrett gave him a hesitant thumbs up and went to dig through the hall closet.

“I think it’s in the garage, actually. I’ll just get it later.” Steve wasn’t sure if he was thankful or disappointed, but he chose not to offer to grab it as Garrett picked the baby up off the floor and kissed the crown of her head.

He held her out, looking at her for a long moment, and then he walked over to Steve and handed her over.

“I’m going to shower.” He sounded hesitant, hands flexing as if he wanted to take the baby right back. Alex let out a confused whine, looking at him with big confused eyes and breaking his heart.

Steve’s eyebrows went up, but he nodded.

It was a big deal that Garrett wasn’t taking her with him, proof he was trying on his end too. Proof that he was trusting Steve. A week ago he would have just brought her with him.

“We’re proud of you!” He called at Garrett’s retreating back as he headed for the bathroom.

“Yeah. Thanks.”

Steve pulled his eyes away as Garrett started to strip his top in the hallway, heading towards the kitchen.

This was a turning point. He just knew it.

-

Garrett got five minutes into his shower before the fire alarm went off.

He sighed, gently banging his head against the shower wall and adding microwavable breakfast sandwiches to a list in his head.

Chapter Text

The wind rustled through the trees, carrying notes that were quickly becoming familiar. The sky above was an endless blue with the occasional cloud, and the air smelled like wildflowers. The air was clean in a way he had never experienced before, no acrid smell of car exhaust or city musk, just nature.

For the first time in weeks, things were good. Actually good this time, not just okay, not just tolerable, but good.

Garrett leaned back against the tree he sat in the shade of, taking a breath of the air that bordered on too clean and letting it out. He looked around at the overly square world, watching a few colorful birds chase each other across the sky.

There was a delighted shriek from next to him.

Alex was on her tummy on the picnic blanket, doing an amazing job holding her head up as she looked around the world she was born in. The sun shining down on her made her orange hair glow like embers, little fingers stretching out to try and grab the shadows cast by the tree canopy.

She looked healthy again, with a healthy flush to her skin and eyes that were no longer cloudy with hunger and stress. She looked like a normal, healthy baby again.

Garrett was still a little tired, he still wasn’t sure he ever wouldn’t be, but he’d gotten a lot more rest. Steve was overcompensating if anything, insisting he do more even when Garrett snapped at him. He still wanted to get up with Alex sometimes, those late nights were special, but he let Steve switch off with him more now. Steve insisted on taking more of the night time duties since he was used to running off a scattered sleep schedule, so they’d agreed Steve would do all but the last feed, and then nap during the day. Garrett would do the 4-5pm feed and then do his morning workout.

Garrett didn’t love the arrangement, he still felt guilty that they’d needed to adjust their lives at all and he couldn’t make it work himself, but he was coming to terms. Life was so much easier now, and if that hellish weekend had led to them actually finding out Alex had more specific needs than they’d thought, then maybe it had been worth the stress.

The bottles made with overworld water had helped her regain the weight she’d lost. But she still looked far more sickly than they liked. It was Henry again, he was going to be in that kids debt forever, who suggested they take a trip to the overworld to see if it helped. Alex had been born there, after all.

So they’d packed up and informed Janet they were visiting family, and then traveled through the portal for the weekend. Whether they’d stay longer depended on how Alex did, but he’d made an announcement on the store page they’d be open limited hours. Robert would have to handle the place alone and he didn’t want too much pressure on him.

It had taken a week in game before she’d started to improve, but she had. She was bubbly and happy again, that personality she was just starting to develop back in full swing. She was back to her happy shrieks and loud gurgles, the spark of mischief back in her eyes.

He’d missed it so much.

They’d taken her back to the place she was born, the house they’d built, but Steve had insisted on remodeling it and fencing off a large area around the house. Once again he wished it was this easy to build a house in their world as he watched Steve add on another room to the floorplan and brainstorm with Henry on how to craft different baby items in the game. They’d made a crib out of bamboo and had been sketching out concepts for a jumper even though she was still too young to use one.

Oh yeah, Henry.

They’d decided to bring the kid with them. He had come up with the idea, and since he was so ahead in his classes it wasn’t a big deal to take a few days off if the trip ran long. Yeah, he and Steve distracted each other so much that Garrett minded the baby most of the time, but now that everything was back to normal and he’d gotten some sleep, he didn’t mind.

He honestly preferred it, seeing the stuff they got into. Once Henry had finished building his cabin a little ways from the house he’d started testing out ideas, which had ended with a pumpkin trebuchet that they used to pelt the nearest mountain with. Steve and him insisted it was a self defense measure in case ghasts attacked ever again, but Garrett had seen the manic grins on their faces as they launched various things at the mountain.

Alex let out another scream, this one starting to get a little angry, and reached out to try and get her toy.

Steve had bought her a stuffed chicken at the gas station before they’d left, making a chicken jockey joke that Garrett didn’t find funny in the slightest. She hadn’t shown too much interest in toys yet, mostly just chewing on them for a few seconds before she lost interest, but she loved this stupid chicken.

She made a delighted sound as she snagged the chicken and pulled it close enough to chew on. Garrett winced. He hoped that thing was clean, they hadn’t exactly had a chance to wash it.

It was nice to worry about germs and not about her being taken or that she wouldn’t stop screaming. This was a worry he could handle.

He looked over to where Henry was hard at work on something against the far corner of the fence.

The kid had been busy building something for a while now that he wouldn’t let anyone help with.

“Papa Steve reporting for duty!”

“Jesus fuck!” Garret jumped as Steve appeared from nowhere, grinning like mad with his axe thrown over his shoulder.

“Sorry, I thought I’d take a turn so you could have a break.”

Garrett kindly didn’t snap that he had been having a break before Steve had interrupted, but his tight expression didn’t hide much.

“Don’t do anything dangerous. She was just changed, but she might be starting to get hungry.” He still felt anxious about leaving the baby with anyone, but it was easier with Steve. He mostly trusted him not to get into trouble when the baby was with him.

Garrett really didn’t mind caring more for her now that she wasn’t having such a hard time, but he knew that Steve wasn’t asking for permission. He was being told to take a break from the baby, and he wasn’t going to be a dick and fight him on it.

Alex made a confused whine as he got off the blanket and stretched, starting to walk away. He didn’t look back at her even as he went tense, fists clenching as she let out a cry at his retreating back. It made something in his soul burn to walk away when she was crying for him, but he did it anyway.

He’d go check on Henry, it would be fine.

He forced down the painful ache in his chest as she let out a wail.

-

“Shhh! It’s okay, Princess! Daddy will be back later, Papa’s got you.” Steve scooped the angry baby off the blanket. She turned her judgmental green eyes towards him, pouting fiercely as fat tears gathered.

Steve of course felt guilty for letting Garrett carry everything and struggle alone, but another jarring realization was that his own daughter had started to prefer Garrett.

Nat said it was understandable, that Garrett had been spending the most time with her and his separation anxiety had likely started to rub off on her, but it still stung. He didn’t resent Garret for it, honestly he adored the man, but it hurt more than he wanted to admit, knowing that he’d also drifted away from her.

Alex loved him, he still got big gummy smiles and happy shrieks, and if he got up in the night with her she settled well enough for him, but if she could see Garrett she wanted to be held by him. It didn’t help that he kept slipping back into bad habits, and Garrett kept letting him. He had let the other man handle the baby most of the day while he and Henry goofed off. The kid’s energy was just so infectious! They always had a great time testing out the boy’s theories, and it was all he’d ever wanted to teach someone about this world he loved so much. Sometimes he forgot himself in it all, forgot his promise.

He held the angry baby to his chest as he watched Garrett go. He supposed he understood, he wanted to be in that man’s orbit all the time too.

“How about Papa teaches you how to gather wood, Henry needs a ton for whatever he’s been working on.” He probably should have asked for Garrett’s help getting Alex in the sling before he left. Whatever, he could figure it out easily enough.

(He did manage to not drop the baby! Garrett would never know that he almost did, or that he had to call Henry over to help)

-

When night fell, they all gathered around a campfire. They were in fenced off front yard of the house, glowstone street lamps lighting the area well. They’d been landscaping for fun the first day before projects distracted them, so walkways were half constructed. They’d left a nice grassy patch with a fireplace surrounded by copper trap doors to keep little hands away from the flames, Henry having made a comment about never having cooked on a campfire. It was mostly safe, for night time. There was still the risk of an enderman teleporting in, but Steve had his sword next to him as he cooked.

He insisted on handling all the food in the Overworld. While it wasn’t hard to cook things to perfection, he boasted his ability anyway. Garrett let him as long at he swore off stew. Alex was a blessing, but he didn’t need a repeat.

Currently he was cooking ‘surf and turf’ comprised of steak and cod, chatting excitedly about the spawner he’d found mining the other day and his plan to make an exp farm from it to help the kids and Dawn practice fighting mobs in a safe environment.

Garrett chimed in occasionally, making a comment that those bastard spiders wouldn’t stand a chance against him as he kept an eye on the kids.

Henry had Alex in his lap as he quietly explained the physics behind the jumper he was trying to make her, nodding along to her baby sounds.

It was unbearably adorable, if he was being honest, and both men kept sneaking glances at the pair.

Steve handed out the plates, Henry setting Alex on her tummy as he stood. She shrieked angrily, face pressed to the red wool carpet laid out before she raised her head to stare enraptured at the flames.

“I’ll be right back, I want to grab my notebook so I can show Alex the sketches.”

They watched him run off, sharing a grin as they started to eat. Garrett could pick up the baby, but she was content and he was hungry, so he let her be.

He glanced up at her after a moment, freezing as he met sharp green eyes that didn’t belong to his daughter.

It was some sort of spotted cat hunched by Alex, Henry’s cod dangling from its mouth. It was larger than the baby, tail curled over her as it looked at her.

Garrett discretely shifted through his mental inventory until he found his bucket nunchucks (or BukChucks, as he liked to call them), getting ready to pull them out and trying to figure out how to whack the thing without hurting the baby.

His heart was pounding, a cold sweat gathering as he eyes the predator next to his baby. What if he couldn’t grab her in time? What it this thing carried her off and he was too slow? Or bit her and gave her rabies?

“Wait! It’s an ocelot. It won’t hurt her.” Steve had noticed what was going on and was watching intently. “I don’t think so at least, I’ve only seen them attack chickens and turtles.”

“Not taking that risk, Steve!” Garrett whispered loudly back, now in a staring contest with the ocelot. It was glaring at him, tail lashing. He eyed the large paws kneading the blanket, knowing they contained sharp claws that were far too close to his baby. “You grab the baby, I’ll take out the trash.”

“Gare-“

“Woah!” Henry stopped as he was running up, the hair on the ocelot puffing up as it jumped up and bolted into the darkness. “What was that?”

Garrett scooped up his baby and began to look her over for any scratches or bites as Steve talked to Henry.

“That was an ocelot, they’re wild cats. Strange to see one all the way out here though. I’ve never had one come up to me before.”

“Cool!” Henry squinted into the darkness to try and spot the cat again.

“Not cool! That beast wanted to eat my baby!” Garrett had never liked cats, and cats had always hated him, so a wild cat was no different. Cats were stuck up and bit when they were mildly inconvenienced. He didn’t need his kids near one.

Kid. His kid. Alex. Right.

He glanced over at Henry as he excitedly began writing notes about the ocelot in his notebook, asking Steve every possible question he could think of.

“Eat something, the cat stole your fish, but if you want something else I think Steve has potatoes.”

“Oh! Yeah, thanks. This is fine.” Henry took a bite, nibbling in between questions until Garrett was satisfied and looked away.

-

The next morning Garrett was up before Steve. They always lost track of time in the Overworld, but the digital watch Henry had tampered with said it was 4:15. Steve was still sleeping, so Garrett slipped out of bed and walked towards the nursery.

He had been anxious about having the baby in a separate room even if it lacked a door and was close by, but Steve had insisted on a trial run. For some reason they still hadn’t moved the beds apart, but Garrett wasn’t going to bring it up. It wasn’t like he minded.

He tiptoed into the nursery, peering into the crib.

Alex was sleeping peacefully in her swaddle, binky having fallen out of her mouth at some point and little lips drawn in a cute pout.

He was unable to resist the need to reach down and stroke her little cheek, which was starting to become chunky as she grew.

The baby turned her head in her sleep and latched on to his finger with a grunt, eyes opening into angry slits.

“Sorry hon, guess someone’s hungry.”

Alex grunted louder, gumming his finger angrily until he pulled it away and began to unwrap her.

She cracked open her eyes, and his heart melted as she lit up seeing him. She smiled a wide, gummy smile and wiggled excitedly, cooing up at him and raising both her arms in a big stretch.

He got her changed with little fanfare, bagging the dirty diaper in a dog waste bag so they could bring the trash back with them when they left and picking an outfit from the suitcase. She looked cute in the little grey sweatpants and long sleeve onesie.

He fed her a bottle in the rudimentary rocking chair the boys had cobbled together. It was a bit wobbly, but it didn’t fall apart and that was always a plus. Alex downed it, letting out an impressive burp that startled her. He laughed, making her giggle back as he dabbed spit up from her chin.

Steve was still asleep as he walked back through the bedroom and into the main house, blissfully unaware of Garrett sticking his tongue out at his sleeping self.

“Papa’s old.” Garrett informed the baby as he got her settled in her sash, getting a knowing gurgle in response. “We’re going for a run that would probably kill him.” As if Steve didn’t have illegal levels of stamina from living here that he never put towards anything productive. He never joined Garrett for workouts, but could bench slightly more than him. It was infuriating.

Alex made a small noise in agreement, snuggling against his chest. She was almost old enough to be front facing and probably already had the neck muscles for it, but he preferred playing it safe.

He quietly eased open the cherry wood door and closed it behind him, only to freeze.

The wild cat was lying on the front porch like it owned it, stretched out in a square of sunbeam with it’s tail flicking idly.

It glanced boredly at him before its gaze locked on the baby, ears swiveling forward.

“Don’t you have baby rabbits to murder?” Garrett grumbled as he placed a protective hand over Alex.

The cat blinked slowly at him, rolling to its belly and stretching, wicked claws scoring into the wood of the porch like a threat.

He walked down the stairs, frowning hard as the cat started to follow him.

“Absolutely not. You stay five blocks back at all time, you hear me? I have a bucket of water in my inventory and I will use it!”

The ocelot’s square ear flicked, its only reaction as it padded after him, leaving only a three block distance.

He took some small measure of joy in starting his run, hoping the thing couldn’t keep up.

(Sadly it could)

As always, his brain felt so much clearer when he was working up a sweat. He had a hand protectively supporting Alex’s head as he lightly jogged along the fence. Now that the sun was risen he might explore and show Alex more of the world Steve had built. It was impressive, even if his pride hadn’t let him admit that for a long time. Steve had put many years into this world, and looking at it was like peering into the mind of the man. There were statues, portraits of wool, skyscrapers, and treehouses built high into the clouds. This would be a wonderful place for Alex to grow up.

A small part of him dreaded going back, facing the world. He could stay here forever, as if their whole journey hadn’t been to get back home, as if he didn’t have a life. It wasn’t like this place would fix his brain anyway, it was just wishful thinking.

He turned his face up to the sun and breathed, hair falling in his face and a dull ache in his heart that made him wonder if things would ever truly be okay again.

Alex gurgled, pinching his neck with an impressive amount of strength and shrieking with laughter when he yelped.

“Dam- Darn, kiddo. That’s right, tell Daddy to stop being a sad sack! Let’s pick up the pace and see if we can loose Tigger back there.” He glanced back at the cat striding after them, patting Alex’s head and picking up the pace to her delight.

He jogged until his bones ached and his head quieted, skin shining with sweat and blood pumping. He felt grounded again in the way only exercise and coffee could do in the morning, and coffee didn’t yet exist in this world.

The damned cat managed to stay exactly three blocks behind him the entire run, no matter how fast he jogged. It felt like pure spite.

Steve woke up to him bench pressing a cobblestone block as Alex did tummy time beside him in the front lawn. He lingered on the porch, watching the two of them fondly as Garrett very loudly switched the count from fifty to ten-thousand.

While he was distracted the cat tried to creep closer to the baby, only for Garrett to switch to holding the block with one hand, making Steve choke, and throw a mushroom at it.

“Back up, furball!”

It hissed in response.

Alex noticed the kitty was nearby and started making baby noises and reaching out for it.

“See, she likes-“

Both men watched as Alex, with a determined little pout and a loud grunt, rolled from her belly to her back.

“Did she just-“

“That was a goddamn roll!” Steve cheered, jumping off the porch.

Garrett promptly dropped the cobblestone on his face.

-

The worst thing about the cat is it made Alex happy.

She lit up like a tiny sun every time she laid eyes on it, reaching out and making grabby hands at the creature. It would step forward, trying to reach out its head towards her tiny hands, and only Garrett’s glare and scooping the baby up would force the cat to retreat. Alex would whine, bobble head looking jerkily around for her friend, and he’d feel like shit.

She was too little to understand why he was keeping her away from her new friend, unable to fathom danger coming from something so cute and fluffy. She didn’t know he was just trying to protect her.

She’d rolled over for it, and only for it. They’d failed to recreate the moment, just like with the laugh. Alex was a schemer, and this time she was grumpy with him and made no effort to roll even when he dangled her stupid chicken.

“It doesn’t want to hurt her.” Steve tried to assure him as he shooed the cat away yet again, their daughter whining loudly from where Garrett had thrust her in Steve’s arms to escape the ocelot.

“I don’t trust it.” Garrett hissed back through clenched teeth, narrowed eyes tracking the shape through the darkness.

“Nat says you have trust issues.”

Garrett jumped as Henry appeared behind him, always so quiet.

“Jesus! Nat also said you don’t have tact!”

Henry shrugged, unbothered by that as he skirted around Garrett to smile at Alex.

“Can I borrow her? I finished what I’ve been working on.” Steve handed her over easily, watching the scrawny teenager adjust his hold until she was snuggled against his chest.

Steve and Garrett shared a look over his head.

“Are we allowed to see? Gotta admit kid, I’ve been real curious what you’ve been working on lately.”

“Sure, I don’t care.” Henry walked off on the direction of his project, glancing behind him to make sure they were following as he weaved through decorative shrubbery until they reached the area behind his cabin.

The secret project that he previously had kept shrouded in a wall of dirt blocks three high was now revealed.

Henry switched his hold until the baby was facing outwards against his chest as he swung open the fence gate and walked inside. The fence encompassed a decent chunk of level ground, protecting what Henry had built.

It was a playground.

Made of clever uses of blocks and items, a playground perfect for a toddler was laid out. There was a tiny jungle gym made from scaffoldings, two little towers with a pink glass tunnel between them, a circle of track with a minecart, along with a tiny baby coaster that was a gentle downward slope. There was even a sandbox where Henry had built a tiny sandcastle. The entire thing was padded with wool carpets dyed in many colors, and it was well lit by glowstone street lamps.

“I know she’s too little for it right now, but I wanted to make her something. It’s not done, I’m going to add more on it later, but I wanted to see if she liked it.” Henry wouldn’t meet their eyes as the men walked into the playground behind him, inspecting the playground in awe.

“This is amazing Henry! She’s going to love it!” Steve was ecstatic as he pushed a baby swing secured with leads.

Garrett was examining step stones shaped like flowers made from terracotta. He wanted to praise Henry for his work, but his mouth was dry. He felt oddly overwhelmed, even if he didn’t know why.

“You built all this in two days?” Steve asked, eyes shining.

“It wasn’t that hard, I planned it out before we came. Nat helped.” Henry looked away, clearing his throat awkwardly at the attention.

“Still cool!”

Alex let out a loud shriek, flapping her arms like she was about to take flight and kicking her legs.

“Alex agrees!”

Henry cracked a smile, looking down at her.

“Good. I was hoping you’d like it.”

Garrett’s throat was tight as he stared at them. Henry looked to so soft holding his daughter, and he was overwhelmed with the want to never let either of them go. Henry wasn’t theirs, he had to remind himself of that sometimes. He couldn’t replace his dad, besides, what teenager would want him for a dad? Alex was young enough to still think he hung the moon, but Henry had seen him in all his selfish glory.

Henry turned those hazel eyes towards him, wide and looking so puppy like part of him whispered that he got it from Steve.

“What do you think?” It was quiet and hesitant, and it shook Garrett out of his stupor.

He strode the few feet forward to rest a hand on Henry’s shoulder and give him a smile.

“It’s rad as hell, kiddo. You did a great job.”

Henry relaxed a fraction, giving him a shy smile before carrying Alex over to the sandbox and sitting in it with her.

Steve slid up beside him and hip checked him, giving a cheeky smile.

“Cute, aren’t they?” He looked at the kids, watching Henry support Alex with one arm as he put her feet in the sand.

“Yeah.” Garrett watched them with an odd mix of affection, longing, and grief. It felt like family? Or most of one. “Cute.”

He was shook from his pondering by a tan blur catching the glow of the streetlights. Dusk had started to fall, making the stupid cat stand out as she hopped up on the fence and perched with her tail wrapped primly around her paws.

“Dear god it’s back.” He hissed, glaring at the feline.

“She.” Henry corrected from the sandbox, not looking up.

“How do you know it’s a she?”

Henry shrugged, the tips of his ears red.

“Cats aren’t exactly shy creatures, she’s always grooming herself. She’s definitely a girl.”

“Huh.” Steve waved at the cat, who tilted her head at him. “Hi kitty.”

“Savannah. I wrote down some names and let Alex pick, she chose that one.”

“Nope! Nuh-uh! We are not naming it-“ He got twin glares from the boys.” “-her. We are not naming her, we aren’t getting attached!”

“I think it’s too late for that, dear.”

Alex had caught sight of her best friend and was shrieking and wiggling in Henry’s arms, trying to get to the ocelot despite having no ability to get there.

‘Savannah’ glared coolly at him before hopping down and striding towards the baby, puffing up and skittering sideways when Garrett blocked her way.

“Not tonight, furball. Go climb a tree.”

The cat hissed at him and slowly turned and slunk away, repeatedly looking over her shoulder.

“C’mon man, don’t be mean.” Steve sounded disappointed in him and he hated it, it didn’t help that Alex had started crying once the cat was gone. He’d gone and ruined the moment.

Alex let out another pitiful cry, stretching her arms towards where the cat had disappeared. Henry looked panicked, bouncing the baby. Steve rescued him by taking the baby, who beat her little hands against his chest with an angry cry before settling against his chest with a sniffle.

“Guess I’m the bad guy tonight, great.” Garrett ran a hand down his face, suddenly far more exhausted than he’d been minutes ago. He hated being the bad guy.

“She’ll forget all about it in five minutes.” Steve said softly as he swayed in place. “Just give her something shiny to look at.”

“I’m not shiny,” Garrett muttered, arms crossed.

“No, but the stars are,” Henry offered from where he’d dusted himself off and stepped out of the sandbox. “They’re really clear tonight. I was going to go watch them for a bit… if you wanted to come.”

Garrett hesitated, then looked over at Steve. He was still rocking Alex, now humming along to the music in the air. She was fading fast, eyes half closed while her cheek was squished against his neck.

Steve caught his eye and nodded once. “Go on. I’ll get her to bed.”

Garrett fought with himself for a moment. He should be putting her to bed, but she probably didn’t want him right now anyways, and he hadnt spent much time with Henry one on one lately. He was his mentor, he shouldn’t ignore the kid just because he had a baby now.

He worried his lip, then nodded with a sigh.

“Okay.” He strode forward a few steps to lean into Steve’s space and kiss the sleepy baby on the crown of her head. “Sleep tight beautiful.”

She made a sleepy little noise, snuggling closer to her Papa, and closed her eyes fully.

Steve left to put the baby to bed as Garrett followed behind Henry. He walked all the way to his wood cabin, going around the back to the cobblestone chimney that was covered in vines. He glanced at Garrett.

“This is how I get up to the roof, I can go make a ladder if you need.”

“Psh, I got this.”

Henry went first, effortlessly scaling the vines.

Garrett jumped and grabbed a vine, scrabbling against the wall as the vine went taut, but held. He carefully let go with one hand and grabbed a vine further up, pulling himself up. Strength wasn’t the issue, he could hold his own body weight, but finding footholds on the mess of vines of stone wasn’t easy. He managed to claw his way up while Henry looked down, lips pursed as he politely didn’t laugh.

“I’m getting too old to climb chimneys.” Garrett groaned as he finally reached the roof. It was made of staircases, but there was a flattened portion perfect to lay on. Henry had obviously put care into the construction, a carpet laid out on the wooden slabs to make it more comfortable.

Henry was sat cross legged on it already, giving him a hesitant smile before lying back to stare up at the sky. Garrett joined him, lying on his back to look up at the sky.

The wind blew around them, the rustle of trees and distant calls of far off animals filling the night. The air smelled like concentrated nature, like grass and fresh wheat from the farm down the hill. It was nice, far from the stale city smell of Chuglass.

The stars in the game world were all squares, far above them in a gradient of blues, purples, and black. They shone brightly in a cloudless sky, and Garrett wondered if he’d ever appreciated them before.

“Thanks for coming with me, I like the quiet up here.” Henry glanced over at him with a crooked smile, and Garrett wasn’t able to resist to urge to ruffle his hair. The teenager tried to squirm away, but didn’t fight the action once Garrett actually touched his curls. He really was a cute kid.

“Of course, kiddo. Sorry I’ve been so busy with Alex.”

“I get it, she’s a baby, she needs you more. You’re her dad.” Henry fidgeted with his hands as he looked back at the stars. “You’re good at that- being a dad, I mean.“

Henry was quiet for a moment, looking at the moon with a complicated expression. Garrett waited for him to speak.

“I don’t remember my dad. He died when I was really little, too small to remember him.” His voice was quiet, hesitant, missing the confidence of a boy who’d faced the end of a world and won.

Garrett wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say to that. He’d lost his dad too, but as a teenager, so he had plenty of memories. Sure, most of them weren’t good memories, but they were memories nonetheless.

“Yeah?” He prompted instead.

“Yeah. I never minded not having a dad, not like Nat did. Father’s Day was weird, I guess, but other than that it never felt weird to just have my mom…” Henry sighed, tapping his fingers together idly. “But seeing you guys with Alex, I wonder what I missed out on. My dad must have loved me like that, right?”

“Of course he did! You’re amazing, Henry. He definitely loved you a lot.” Garrett might not be good with people or words, but this was Henry. If he could reassure him that he was loved, then what kind of man was he?

“You think so?”

“Henry.” Garrett pushed himself up on his elbow so he could look at the teenager. Henry glanced at him, clearly unsure.

“I’m not your dad, so I can’t speak for him, but you’re an amazing kid. You’re so smart and great with Alex, you’re so kind, you saved the world!” He hesitated for a beat before continuing. Henry needed to know how good of a kid he was

“…I hope Alex grows up to be just like you. Any man would want you for a son.” The words were loaded, far more than he’d meant them to be. He braced himself for Henry’s reaction, for him shying away from the blatant honesty that had slipped out.

Henry looked away, taking a shuddering breath and quickly scrubbing at his eyes with his hoodie sleeve. Shit! Garret went to backpedal, but then the kid was looking at him again.

“Thanks Garrett. I think…” He broke eye contact to stare hard at his hands. “I think anyone would want you and Steve for dads too.”

Garrett had to look away himself, clearing his throat until it wasn’t so tight. God, this kid would be the death of him.

“Thanks kid.”

They turned their attention back to the stars, looking at unfamiliar pixelated constellations scattered across the sky.

“You know Henry, if you ever want-“ Garrett looked over at the boy, only to see he had fallen asleep. He chuckled, sitting up.

“Goodnight, kid.”

Now how was he supposed to get Henry back down? Should he wake him up? Build a staircase? Eh, he’d figure it out.

He dared to brush a hand through the kid’s curls, watching his face scrunch. He had always wanted a son.

If only Henry could have been his.

-

He managed to somehow get the kid down the vines and into bed without waking him up. The sun was already rising after its twenty minute window of night, but they were all ready to sleep through a few cycles.

He enjoyed the walk back more than usual, breathing in the dawn air. He paused on the porch, hand lingering on the doorknob.

Henry wasn’t his, he had to remember that. He wished he was, both him and Nat, but they didn’t need him forcing his way into their lives. He’d just be whatever they needed for now, but let them know they had a place in the weird little family he and Steve had built.

Garrett slipped inside his own house quietly, not wanting to wake up the baby or Steve. The house was quiet, the floorboards creaking softly underfoot as he made his way towards the bedroom.

Steve was sitting upright in bed with his back to the wall, head bowed. He looked to be sleeping in the most uncomfortable position, but he looked up when Garrett entered.

“Kid in bed?” Steve asked, voice rough from tiredness.

“Yep. Other kid in bed?” He hadn’t checked on Alex yet, somehow. He supposed he trusted that Steve had put her to bed alright.

“Yep. C’mon, get some sleep.” Steve patted the bed beside him, a tired smile on his face. Garrett forced himself not to stare.

Garrett gave a salute and crawled into bed beside him, weary body melting into the wool mattress. These beds were pretty cramped, even pushed together, but they made it work. Still, he was looking forward to his bed back home in a few days. As much as part of him wanted to stay forever, this bed would drive him crazy.

The kids were both safe and in bed, he could rest.

He was just drifting off when Alex let out a loud cry. They both bolted upright, scrubbing their eyes.

“I fed her, maybe a nightmare? Or she pooped?” Steve went to get up, but Garrett put a hand on his thigh.

“I’ll get her, you put her to bed.” He rolled out of bed and stretched, making his way to the nursery.

Alex was screaming with her eyes still closed, fighting her swaddle with one arm out. Garrett huffed, undoing the swaddle so he could fix it. She blinked up at him, letting out another cry.

“It’s okay, Daddy’s here.” He reassured her, rubbing her cheek.

Alex didn’t want to calm down, even as he rubbed her belly and sang to her. He hoped she wasn’t constipated again.

He heard scrabbling on the floor behind him, tensing. Before he could scoop the baby up something had jumped up on the edge of the crib.

The ocelot didn’t even look at him, staring at Alex.

“How the hell did you get in here?” He hissed, ready to shove the cat off, when Alex caught sight of it.

She immediately stopped screaming, letting out a giggle and reaching out for the cat.

The wild cat glanced at him, then back at the baby, then back at him.

“Fine.” He ground out through grit teeth. “But I’m watching you.”

Savannah slunk into the crib, carefully stepping around the baby until she was by her head.

Alex grabbed the cat around the neck and pulled her down with a scream. Garrett went tense, ready to fling the cat away when she inevitably scratched or bit at the rough treatment, but instead Savannah let out a loud rattling sound and rubbed her cheek against the baby’s. That..didn’t sound like a growl.

He blinked.

“Was that a purr?”

Alex giggled again, mashing her face into the spotted fur. Savannah purred louder.

Garrett ran a hand down his face, glaring at the creature.

“Unbelievable. She screams for ten minutes and then you come in here and she’s happy.”

Savannah slowly blinked at him, slit pupils unimpressed. He got the impression that, if she possessed eyebrows, one would be raised judgmentally.

He watched for a moment longer. Alex was already drifting back off to sleep, hands tangled in the ocelot’s scruff and a sleepy smile on her face. Savannah didn’t move an inch, curling tightly around this infant like she was claiming her. Garrett huffed, it was still his baby.

“You slip up once, I’m kicking you out. And no peeing in the house!”

The cat didn’t answer him, just purred louder and rubbed her cheek against the baby’s head.

He leaned against the crib rail, watching Alex’s chest rise and fall. He was pretty sure cats in the crib wasn’t safe sleep, but meeting the cats eyes, he felt oddly sure she would be very careful.

“Guess you’re here to stay, huh?” He said softly as he nodded at her.

The cat inclined her head curiously, then leaned down and began to groom the baby’s hair.

He sighed.

“Welcome to the family I guess.”

They just kept collecting strays, didn’t they? What was one more?

He left the nursery, navigating back to bed in the dim morning light. Steve had fallen asleep waiting for him to get back, curled up watching the door.

Garrett smiled, shaking his head and climbing into bed.