Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

          Apparently, there was a…strange “tradition” on the Hermitcraft server.

          It was one Joel could only describe as strange, because he sure as the Nether had no idea about it until it happened. Judging by Skizz’s own reaction, he’d never been told about it, either. He glanced over at Impulse, then Mumbo, and finally Gem and Pearl. Arms crossed, Skizz turned to him with a quizzical expression. Joel returned the look. Now, he could have glanced at Scar or Grian, but that wouldn’t have helped.

          See, it was a known fact that Grian and Scar were married to one another. They had been married since right after Double Life. No one knew the exact specifics of when they started dating, or even when they got married. They just strode up to Xisuma one day and updated their papers, medical records, and everything else they needed to change. Emergency contacts, that sort of thing. It had been a courthouse wedding, evidently. They couldn’t stand to keep their hands off of one another, but avian tradition had its roots in physiology, and that avian physiology meant Scar wanted to marry Grian. Something about settling down, the both of them finally feeling safe, it was kept on the down-low and he wasn’t going to ask. Actually, Joel had heard some of it from Jimmy and Grian when they had been rooming together. He shared his own traditions as part of a long line of wizards and fae, spoken about Lizzie’s family traditions and how they had incorporated them into their wedding. It had been a valuable experience. Something significant.

          Still, Joel was pretty sure he would have remembered if this was part of Grian and Scar’s traditions.

          The group had been standing in the middle of Cherry Mountain. When he glanced to the side, taking a moment to look out over the grass and rivers spreading out in front of them, he saw Grian pause. He stooped down, grabbing something from the ground and humming. Then, he tucked it into his pocket. Casually, like nothing had happened at all, he walked after the group. Joel tilted his head to the side, looking after him.

          When they were looking out across the landscape, Grian suddenly dropped onto one knee behind Scar.

          “Scar.” He started. Frowning, Joel looked at him. He knew Grian and Scar were married. It had been something major, something everyone had been talking about for weeks on end. Pearl in particular had been very frustrated with it. Actually, frustrated wasn’t the right word. She had ranted about it for weeks on end, pissed with her brother and her new brother-in-law for hiding their whole relationship from them. She had been pissed. Absolutely, definitively, wholeheartedly pissed at the both of them.

          Still, when Scar turned around, he just sighed in frustration, “Grian.” He sighed, sounding less like himself and more like he was lamenting his entire existence.

          “Scar.” Grian began again. Then, dramatically, he said, “Will you do me the greatest honor of making me the happiest man alive…and keep your fricking wedding ring on your finger?”

          Snorting, Scar walked over. “Yes, sure, fine.” He said. Holding out his hand, he laughed as Grian slipped the ring onto the correct finger. Looking around, he sighed. “He does this every time I lose my ring.”

          “One day you’re going to be embarrassed enough to remember your ring!” Grian teased back, getting to his feet with a low grunt. Throwing an arm over his husband’s shoulders, he dragged him down and planted a kiss on his cheek. It was wet and loud, and Scar even wrinkled his nose in mock disgust. Still, he turned, cupped Grian’s face, and kissed him gently in response, so he couldn’t be that frustrated with it.

          “Maybe. Or maybe one day you’ll forget,” he replied.

          “Hmmm, I don’t think so. I actually keep mine on all the time.” Grian replied, slipping a hand around the small of Scar’s back. Joel glanced over at Gem and raised a brow, then rolled his eyes. Skizz, Impulse, Mumbo, and Pearl were watching with fond expressions. If he had to guess from the other Hermits’ faces, the ones who had been around last season, then they’d seen this plenty of times. As for Skizz, he was just a hopeless romantic. That, Joel knew. Anytime they had server-wide sleepovers, he was the one voting for romance movies. The man hated The Notebook and Twilight with a passion that rivalled a thousand suns, but loved Jane Austen with something somehow even more passionate. They’d watched so many different Pride and Prejudice movies that Joel couldn’t remember which actors were which. Except the Bollywood version, because that one was fantastic.

          “So, care to explain?” Joel asked, breaking the moment.

          Grian and Scar turned to look at him. Smiling, Grian explained, “Sometimes, we take off our rings. It’s usually when we have to work on something and we don’t want it to get caught on something or lost. I am always able to remember putting my ring back on. He, however, is terrible at leaving or dropping his. So, to try and discourage the behavior, I make a proposal as dramatically and obnoxiously as possible. At least, I do when I catch him.”

          “And you’ve never done that? Leave your ring, I mean?” Gem asked, crossing her arms and arching an eyebrow.

          “Nope!” Grian replied.

          At the same time, beside him, Scar sighed and hung his head, “Nope.”

          “It’s really only a Scar thing. I remember to put mine back on. It’s an avian thing, I guess.” Showing off his own wedding band, a shiny golden ring, Grian wiggled his fingers and smiled. “I just remember a lot easier. Of course, I don’t think he actually minds the giant reminder. Do you?”

          Face flushing, Scar shrugged. His eyes stayed on his husband, though. The love on his face was palpable, so much so that it kind of reminded Joel of himself in his wedding video. Though, he’d never left his wedding ring anywhere. When it came to having to take it off, he just left it on a string around his neck. Wait—

          “Hold on, one sec,” Joel started. Everyone turned to look at him, “Why not just leave it around a string on your neck or something, if you’re going to take it off?”

          Poking his fingers together, Scar grimaced. “Well…I don’t like wearing necklaces all that much, if I’m being honest. Besides, I like wearing it on my hand most of the time. I just…I don’t know. I like having it on my hand.”

          “Fair enough.” Shrugging, Joel glanced around. “So. Now that we know to watch out for Scar’s wedding ring so Grian can try to embarrass him, who wants to pick spots?”

          (After getting their spots worked out and then settling down, they all popped up to the top of Cherry Mountain and then had tea and biscuits together. They were good biscuits. Scar made them. Joel quite enjoyed them…

          At least, he did until he accidentally bit down on Scar’s wedding ring.

          Seriously. How?)

Chapter Text

            The next time that it happened, the server had been having a post-sleepover breakfast.

            Sitting at the table, Joel sliced his French toast. There was so much food on the table. He hadn’t actually thought about who had made it, though if he had a guess it had to be Impulse. According to Skizz (and what Joel had heard from Grian and Jimmy during Limited Life), Impulse made some mean French toast. Something the Soup Group—or, well, only Gem and Pearl, because Impulse was too humble to say it himself—also corroborated. They had a whole banquet in front of them: bagels, bacon, eggs, some sort of fascinating casserole type thing he couldn’t identify, sausages, fruit salads, so many different things.

            No offense to the Emperors, but the only thing Joel usually got when he woke up after one of their server-wide sleepovers was pranks. Either he was the one being pranked, or he was the one doing the prank. It was a guarantee. Last time, the last person to wake up had been Oli, so they covered his face, arms, neck, and chest with multicolored doodles. It had been too easy. Scott had brought the markers. Now, the Emperors knew that they ran the risk of being pranked—it was actually why Jimmy hadn’t attended that one, because he needed to work. As for Shubble, Katherine, and False, they had all skipped out, too—False had headed back to Hermitcraft early and the other two were just not in the mood to be pranked. But the people who remained leaned all the way into the chaos.

            The Hermits were completely different, and he loved the differences. They were just—it was nice. So, in the meantime, Joel was going to wolf down as much French toast as he could. He was going to regret it, because he was piling on the powdered sugar. He knew it was going to give him a headache. Or a stomachache. Or both. He didn’t care, though. That was a problem for Future Joel. He was not currently Future Joel. He was past Joel, and he was going to enjoy his French toast.

            Beside him, Grian shifted. Joel glanced at him. In his hand, Grian had something in his hand. A ring. Scar’s ring, actually. Looking at him, Joel waited until Grian looked at him. A smug grin crossed Grian’s face. Leaning over, he murmured to him, “It came off when he was asleep. Picked it up from his sleeping bag.”

            “And he’s never once gotten you?” Joel whispered back, glancing at Scar across the table. He and Grian always ate across from one another for some reason. Actually, no, not “some reason”—Joel did the same thing with Lizzie. He just liked looking at his wife. Grian and Scar liked looking at each other. Anyways.

            Snickering, Grian shook his head. “He’s never gotten me. I don’t usually take my ring off, to be fair, and showers and baths are off-limits.” He pushed his chair back and got up, moving to saunter back to the buffet table where had staged the food. As he went, he passed by Scar and brushed his husband’s shoulder. Scar turned to look at him.

            Grian dropped to one knee.

            “Oh, no—” Scar checked his hands, pockets, and then around his neck. With a groan, he hid his face in his hands. “Grian—”

            “Scar.” Grian began dramatically. “You have the brightest, most creative mind I have ever known. I would like to spend the rest of my life with you. Would you please keep your fricking wedding ring on your finger for once in your life?”

            “It’s not my fault!” Scar lamented, though he held out his hand, anyways. Next to him, Pearl giggled and then shoved his shoulder as Grian stood back up. Looking at her, Scar pouted.

            Pearl lifted up her plate, filled with powdered sugar, and blew it in his face.

            “Oh, that’s it! Food fight!” Scar roared, grabbing some extra strawberry syrup. In a move that could easily have been a bit too much, he slapped the syrup across Pearl’s face. Grian scrambled back.

            Laughing, Pearl grabbed more powdered sugar, “Sorry, Griba! Don’t want to make you a widower, but no guarantees!” She lunged.

            The food fight was immediate.

            Grabbing his plate, Joel leaned back and shouted, “Don’t touch my French toast!” Beside him, on his other side, Skizz cackled and then slipped into the path of Etho’s throw. He took a pancake to the face. Cackling, he grabbed some scrambled eggs and hucked them back at Etho. Etho dodged behind his plate, dragging Beef into the fight. Beside them, the rest of the Hermits launched into chaos. Xisuma sat back in his seat, burying his helmed face in his gloved hands. To his left, Keralis sympathetically patted his shoulder. A sausage patty landed on Xisuma’s shoulder, sliding down his armor. Before it was even on the floor, Tilly was lunging to grab it in her teeth. The other food on the floor landed where she and the other dogs could get to it. Joel saw Katy Bee launch up onto the table and start eating some of the eggs. Joining her, Mr. Finnegan stole some sausages. He slipped away and brought them to Jellie, who was waiting patiently in the kitchen, away from the chaos, with her tail wrapped around her paws like the elegant queen she was.

            The food fight continued, though it was mostly food that would have gotten eaten by the dogs and cats anyways. It was just...being delivered differently this time.

            Hypno ducked down with a yelp, leaving False to take Jevin’s spoonful of peach yogurt to the face. Head snapping to the side, False turned and then stood up, stealing a bowl of egg scraps from Wels. Pouting, Wels stabbed his sausages with a fork and met Joel’s gaze. With a smile, he shook his head, rolled his eyes, and then flicked a strawberry that had fallen onto the table at Ren. He then took a pointed bite of his sausages as Ren stared at him, betrayed. Tango took a croissant to the face. Joe grabbed a doughnut from thin air and then shoved it in his mouth before throwing more syrup at Doc. Launching up in his seat, Doc grabbed a whole bowl of yogurt and dumped it on Cub’s head. He promptly got shoved to the side in retaliation and leaned on Ren for help. Bdubs squealed as Grian and Scar teamed up against him. Gem blocked an onslaught of Impulse’s French toast with her plate. Turning, she whapped Mumbo in the face with another piece of toast. He yelped. Not a moment passed before he was attacking her back. It was with the same slice of French toast she'd hit him with.

            Looking over at Keralis and Xisuma, Joel met the former’s gaze. The man smiled, shaking his head well-naturedly. Carefully, ducking under a thrown blueberry yogurt spoon, Joel shoved more French toast in his mouth. Then, he turned, yelping, “Stop stealing all the French toast and syrup!” Grinning wickedly, Etho went to flip the bowl. Grabbing him by the wrist, Cleo dragged Etho across the table over to her and then shoved him into Grian. When she turned to look at Joel, she grinned and winked at him. He managed a sheepish, grateful smile. The chaos continued.

            Joel kept eating his French toast.

            Because he had chosen not to participate in the food fight, Joel had the privilege of watching everyone get hosed off by Keralis and Xisuma.

            Well, “hosed off” was generous. It was more like they were being pressure washed, because Xisuma and Keralis were walking down the line of arranged Hermits with giant, firehose-like hoses. The water sprayed them all. Somehow, neither Grian nor Scar had managed to lose their rings during the food fight. Just when Scar was sleeping. Still, Joel sat on the picnic table with a plate of more French toast in his hand. He looked ahead at them all.

           The sun was shining, the sky was blue, and it was nice and warm. Honestly, they might be able to do some messing around in the river after this. I wonder if I could call Lizzie, Joel thought, nibbling on a corner of toast. The slices were as thick as the tip of his thumb. She would probably enjoy seeing her friends. And I'm sure Xisuma would be willing to whitelist her...

            “Do we have to do this?” Ren asked, complaining.

            Raising the hose, Xisuma sprayed him in the face.

Chapter Text

            The next time that Scar lost his ring, Joel actually was happy that Grian managed to find it.

            They were walking through the Overworld Hub, and of course Scar was going to lose his ring. At this point, Joel wasn’t even surprised. He and Skizz had gotten used to it. After all, they had spent some time with the others, demolishing Cherry Mountain and all was a big project. There had been several more instances of Grian finding Scar’s ring and proposing to him all over again. Sure enough, like he’d said, he’d tried to make it dramatic and over-the-top and a little bit embarrassing.

            As it was, like he had said, this time they were in the Hub. It was a public place. Definitely not somewhere one would want to lose a wedding ring. Also, anecdotally, not the best place to have an embarrassing, over-the-top public proposal. Still, Joel was happy just to have Lizzie with him. Since they were on the Overworld server, she could join them. He was happy about that. Understandably. So, as he walked along with the others, he was holding Lizzie’s hand. She was tucked into his side, tilting her head against his shoulder for a brief moment. He loved it. He loved her. Unfolding his wing, he looped it around her shoulders. Her tail swished behind her, curled around his leg. He glanced at her. Pale blue eyes met his own brown, she smiled like she wasn’t currently inching her tail a little higher than was necessary. Laughing softly, Joel shook his head, turned to look back at the others.

            Honestly, he wasn’t one for big crowds. It just…wasn’t his thing. He liked hanging out with the others, so he was willing to put up with all…this. Besides, having Lizzie around? Bonus! He could hang out with his wife for free, and they weren’t even doing anything significant. They were just existing, which was nice and—

            And Grian was dropping down to one knee in front of Scar, holding out a ring.

            Around them, people who clearly recognized them started squealing in delight. Joel grimaced, noticing Lizzie pin her ears back at the sound. The other Hermits were giving Grian and Scar some space—as a help to Grian, as a punishment to Scar. Clearly, Grian knew this, because he was grinning wickedly up at his husband, holding the ring.

            “Scar!” He began, projecting. On purpose. Snorting, Joel pulled Lizzie to the side, away from the throng of people and to a little popcorn stall. The smell was intoxicating, warm and salty all at once. It made his mouth water. So, one ear on what Grian was doing, he ordered some for him and Lizzie. “I’ve known you for over half a decade now. Ever since I watched you build your pirate island and keep dying to phantoms—”

            “It wasn’t that awful—” Scar huffed, face flushed bright pink as he sat in his wheelchair.

            Still, his husband continued like Scar hadn’t opened his mouth (despite letting him talk), “I knew that I wanted to keep you in my life. Becoming your friend and then your significant other has been the best part of my life. I wouldn’t trade it for anything, or change the path I took to get here.” Scar’s face flushed further, then he clapped his hands over his mouth. Even from a distance, now holding the little red-and-white bag of popcorn, Joel could see Scar tearing up. Instead of doing anything, he shoved some in his mouth. Then, he offered it to Lizzie. She took some.

            “Oh my gosh!” Some of the fans said, holding up their cameras.

            “Ssh.” Joel said, glancing at them. One of the girls glared at him. Then, as if realizing who he and Lizzie were, she flushed and grimaced, turning away.

            “So, Scar Goodtimes, will you marry me?” Grian asked.

            To his credit, Scar didn’t hesitate. He never hesitated, even when the ring was covered in biscuit bits and maybe a little bit of Joel’s spit (if he didn’t want it covered in that, then he shouldn’t have dropped it in the batter!) or when they were in a really bad situation (once, Grian had done it when they were in the middle of a zombie spawn camp). Honestly, as disgusting as it was, it was also really cute. Really, really cute.

            “Yes!”

            The fans were screaming. People in the crowd were screaming. Pearl, Impulse, Skizz, Mumbo, and Gem were screaming, too. Jevin wolf-whistled. Bdubs and Cub shared money, Bdubs pouting as he passed his “Cleo allowance” over. Ren clapped Doc on the back, whispering something in his ear, while Etho and Beef murmured something to one another and Hypno bumped hips with xB. Rolling his eyes, Joel turned to Lizzie.

            “If I ever drop my ring,” he began, “please just give it back quietly. I think I would die if you did something like this.”

            She smiled at the admittance, taking more popcorn from him. Then, with a giggle around her food, she covered her hand with a mouth to be polite and said, “I would never. Besides, everyone knows you’re mine.”

            When she finished her mouthful, as Joel watched Grian dramatically slip the ring onto Scar’s finger, Lizzie popped up onto her toes and kissed his cheek.

            Joel almost choked on his popcorn, face flushing with heat.

GRIAN PROPOSES TO SCAR (HERMITCRAFT) ((NOT CLICKBAIT!!!))

Summerholiday 257 subscrubers (Join) (Subscribe)

168k likes 6.8m views 27 minutes ago

Oh my gosh guys Libby, Travis, Chaz and I were at the Overworld Hub and WE SAW THE HERMITCRAFT PEOPLE! And Grian PROPOSED!!! He and Scar are getting MARRIED!

4,315 Comments

parkthecar 14 minutes ago

I didn’t know they were even dating??? Congrats

eglantinerosemaxwell 6 minutes ago

How lovely. They seem like such a sweet couple, I remember when my husband and I first got married fifty years ago. There were not many people brave enough to marry interspecies back then, I hope that the changed attitudes in the world today mean they get all the kindness and love they deserve…

See more >

malcolmlandgraabsgirlfriend 15 minutes ago

I should have known they were some of Those People

See 200 replies >

            carmensandiego 1 minute ago

            “Those People”

            malcolmlandgraabsgirlfriend 1 minute ago

            @carmensandiego you know. Wheels is human, Glasses is not

            carmensandiego 1 minute ago

            @malcolmlandgraabsgirlfriend Oh, so you’re a troll. Reported.

horrorglass 1 minute ago

AAAAAHHHH??? I used to watch Grian and Scar when I was little and now they’re getting married???

Grian 5 minutes ago

So Scar and I have now been made aware that we have gone…a little bit viral. That wasn’t our intention, but I did want to clear something up.

Scar and I are already married.

We’ve been married for some time (no, I won’t be saying how long). The proposal was because Scar dropped his ring when we were on the Overworld Hub.

The little speech was real, though. Moments like these let me be sweet on him. (:

            “We’re viral.”

            Scar started laughing until he choked on his chocolate milk. Looking at him, Grian smiled. “I’m—good—” Scar choked out between breaths.

            Calmly, turning back to his book, Grian said, “Don’t die. I don’t want to have to find a new husband.”