Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Lukey was having a horrible day. He woke up 30 minutes past his alarm, the traffic to the office was horrible and he had a stack of documents at his desk when he actually reached the office.

He feels lucky that he was able to talk his way out of getting scolded (coffee bribery does wonders) but that did not help with the hours of careful reading, research, emailing and writing that he now has to do.

He picks up the first document of the paper stack, situated in a clean manila folder with a sticky note attached to the top of it. The note reads “UPDATE: CASE LAW FOR UNINTENTIONAL BIOWEAPON #46572726.”

Lukey simply sighs, shaking his head. He’s a lawyer, not a scientist. Why was he the one assigned to do research for the bioweapon case? What even is the legal classification of an organism?

Sitting down at his desk, he types in his password, mentally wishing to go home. He clicks on his case files folder and gets greeted by the blue screen of death.

“Okay, what the actual fuck,” Lukey whispers to himself, already dreading the IT conversation he will have to have. Dragging his hand across his face, he stands up, heading in the direction of IT.

---

After hours of IT troubleshooting, researching about the extent of if skulk can legally be defined as an organism that can have intent, and a surprise meeting about a sudden lack of public defenders at the ready, Lukey feels the urge to drown himself in a lake grow ever present.

(He would never, for the record. It is a well-known fact that he hates getting wet.)

Instead, Lukey decides to go to the nearby wine shop to do the other type of drowning - drowning in alcohol.

Getting into his white Chevy Impala, he drives the short 5-minute drive to the wine store, Dolly Parton’s 9 to 5 blasting through his radio. He parks his car, heads straight to the wine aisle, pays for a single bottle of red wine with minimal small talk towards the cashier, and leaves the store. Wine bottle in hand, he steps out into the cool March air and gets greeted with chaos.

The first thing that Lukey registers is the faint smell of burnt sugar.

Then, it was the shouts and sirens coming from the grocery store across the street and the revving of engines nearby.

The visible scene before him finally clicks in his mind, with the leftmost display window of the store being smashed, glass shards littered around the sidewalk. People are pouring out of the store yelling, cursing and running after something that has just entered his view.

A minivan, run-down and painted in the most hideous pale green, that seems to be trying to u-turn on a two-way street 30 minutes into the hell that is rush hour. The driver, a man with the most obnoxious orange hair, wearing sunglasses of all things is driving the abomination.

The revving that he only faintly noticed reaches a higher pitch, and suddenly, with a jerk of the orange man’s arm, his own car, his white Chevy Impala, gets rear-ended by the back of the minivan.

The minivan’s driver yells out “Sorry!” as he somehow speeds away, the crowd of people chasing comedically behind.

Staring at his rear-ended car and the chaos and destruction that has occurred across the street, Lukey realizes two things: 1. He has to now talk with insurance sometime in the future cause his car just got fucking rammed, and 2. He now has to deal with the horrors of rush hour public transportation in the city.

Begrudgingly accepting his fate for the night, Lukey pops the wine bottle in his hands and drinks straight from it. He’s not driving tonight, so who cares anymore.

He begins dialling, mentally cursing whatever god has decided to curse him for simply existing in modern society.

Oh, and also the orange man with the minivan that hit his car. He needs to be thrown into hell.

Chapter Text

Figuring out transportation wasn’t all that bad. Public transport, though horrible in rush hour, got him home and the train and bus to the office the next day was surprisingly not too packed.

His co-workers were even sympathetic to his unfortunate situation, many offering advice on what to do afterwards. One such co-worker, more like his direct supervisor actually, Badboyhalo, was so sympathetic that he decided that he was going to pick and drop off Lukey every day until his transportation situation gets resolved.

Now, you see, Lukey is amicable with Bad. He wouldn’t consider him to be a work buddy but they do work together a lot - emails are frequent between the two, they exchange greetings by the office microwave area during lunch and they see ach other at the team check-in once a week.

Overall, Bad is a friendly face and he’s thankful for his offer to drive him to and from work every day.

The problem is that when you are in a regulated work environment with someone and you take that someone out of that regulated environment, let's say a black SUV on the way to work, you may learn a bit more than you would like due to the blurring of professional boundaries.

Which leads to Lukey’s current situation where he is hearing Bad rant about the difference between having a date and a date.

“-and since when was going on a date seen as romantic? It’s not a date, it’s a date!” exclaims Bad, turning into the parking area of their building.

“I see what you mean but they’re both technically the same word, just the intonation is different…” Lukey responds, exasperated.

“They’re not the same word,” mutters Bad, parking the car.

Lukey rolls his eyes, opening the door and getting out of the vehicle. “Sure, Bad.”

The two walk to the elevator, with Lukey tuning out Bad’s complaints. He did not need to learn any more about Bad’s confusing love life and his thoughts on the English language.

“Oh yeah, actually I completely forgot to mention this to you on the way here but you’ve been assigned a case!” says Bad, pressing the 6th floor button on the elevator.

Lukey raises his eyebrow. “What kind of case?”

“Criminal case, robbery, you’re gonna be their public defender!”

That caught Lukey’s attention. “Huh? Since when was I a public defense lawyer?”

Bad stared at him. “You raised your hand yesterday during the meeting.”

Huh? Raised his hand? Was Bad gaslighting him?

Lukey racks his head through his memory of yesterday before the incident. There was a meeting about a lack of public defenders, that’s true. But why, in any world, would he have raised his hand? He’s barely even been in court!

“Are you gaslighting me?” he asks. The elevator dings and the door opens. The two walk out. “Also, that’s not how the selection of public defenders even works! The court assigns a lawyer and I definitely should not have been in the running to even begin with!”

Bad shrugs. “Okay, you didn’t raise your hand but I did appoint you cause I was originally assigned and I am unable to do it. Conflict of interest and all that.”

That left Lukey with even more questions cause that’s just not how the process works.

“What do you mean you appointed me? You’re not the judge?” he exclaims, arms flailing out. “Also, conflict of interest? How about a conflict of qualification cause I’m not qualified to be a public defender?”

“The legal system is a little bit loosey-goosey-”

“Since when would ANYONE call the legal system loosey-goosey?”

“Listen, it just is! It’s loosey goosey at the moment and the judge was just like ‘Okay, you can’t be the attorney for the case cause conflict of interest but you can elect someone’ and I decided to choose you! You need the experience anyways and I’ll still be able to help advise you along the way! I, in fact, know the client very well already.”

Lukey stopped walking and stared at Bad.

“You're crazy,” states Lukey.

Bad rolls his eyes once again and gestures to the office door. “I’m making perfect sense, Lukey. Do you want to see the case file?”

With whatever shred of sanity Lukey has left, Lukey decides that there is no reason for him to continue arguing with Badboyhalo. He takes a deep breath in and out.

“Lead the way.”

They step into Bad’s office and Bad immediately begins rummaging through his desk. He finds what he’s been looking for, opens up the folder and plops it on the desk, gesturing to Lukey to come take a closer look.

Lukey’s eyes caught the picture of the client immediately.

Bright orange hair.

Dark sunglasses resting on top of his head.

A way too smug grin across his face.

It’s him. The fucker that rear-ended his car. Even though Lukey has only seen this man for about 2 seconds in-person, he would recognize him anywhere.

Looking over at the actual text on the document, he reads that the man is charged with robbery over $5000, careless driving, mischief over $5000 and hit and run. His eyes skim over to the name of the man: Pangi Pangolin.

He turns the page and is greeted with a couple more photos: one of the grocery store that was broken into yesterday and another one of his very own white Chevy Impala.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he says to himself. Is he really going to be the public defender of the man who rear-ended his car yesterday? When he’s not even a public defender?

Realizing the insanity of the situation he’s gotten himself roped into, Lukey closes his eyes, turns to the nearest wall and moves to slam his head against it.

Chapter Text

Lukey feels a hand grab his shoulder, pulling him back, before his head actually hits the wall.

“Woah, what are you doing, Lukey! We don’t need a personal injury case too!”

Lukey turns around to face Bad. In the most deadpan voice, he says, “Conflict of interest is your excuse, right? Much like you, it seems like I also have a conflict of interest.”

He points at the picture of Pangi. “Cause this guy is the person who rear-ended my car!” He flips to the photo of his car. “It’s literally in the case file! I’m a victim of this man’s crimes! I shouldn’t be defending him! That’s crazy!”

“Well, I can’t defend him cause he’s my son, so you have to,” replies Bad, as if it were just a common fact that he had a son in the first place.

Lukey sputters at the response. “Son? Since when did you have a kid? Let alone one who decides to rob a grocery store for some reason?”

“Well, he’s not biologically my son. I was on a case a few months ago, and he was a witness for his friend. He’s a nice guy, we talked a bunch, and then I decided that we have a familial bond!”

“You just decided-” Lukey says, high-pitched, “Hold on, does the court even recognize you are family? Does Pangi even recognize you as his father?”

Bad shrugs, the definition of uncaring.

“You’re crazy, you know that.”

Bad shrugs again. “So, are you going to do the case?” “What do you mean, ‘Are you doing the case?’ Of course not, it shouldn’t even be in the question for me to be in any legal authority, cause I’m one of the parties affected!”

“And? He’s my son, and I’m still going to help you with the case. It’ll cancel out!”

“Cancel out?” Lukey sputters, unable to form any more words.

“Yes, cancel out! I’ll have a bias for Pangi, and you’ll have a bias against him. That way, when we defend him in court, we’ll be neutral - therefore, no conflict of interest.”

Lukey sits down on the desk and drags a hand down his face.

“Bad, I’ll have you know that I think that you are the most obnoxiously stubborn person I’ve ever met,” he lets out. Bad chirps out a “thank you” as if that was a compliment.

Picking his head up and making eye contact with Bad, he asks, “Is there truly no other lawyer that can cover this case?”

Bad shakes his head. “Nope,” he says, popping the P.

Lukey knows that agreeing to this will be like making a deal with the devil. A stupid deal, but a deal nonetheless. Lukey looks at Bad’s form, at him toeing the floor with his foot, swaying slightly. He then realizes the horrible power imbalance present between him and Bad, with Bad being his literal supervisor and the one driving him back and forth to work.

Fuck.

Wait, was Bad aware of this beforehand? Is this why he offered to help in the first place? For Lukey to defend his son, who may not even know he has been pseudo-adopted?

This guy…

“So, are you going to do it?” asks Bad, cutting Lukey’s train of thought. He looks at Bad and sees those expecting eyes stare right back at him, unblinking.

Sighing, Lukey reevaluates everything that has led him to this point. Every choice, every wrong turn, every decision he’s made has led him to being somewhat forced to commit to being a public defender (while not even being a public defender in the first place) to the guy who both damaged his car and is the “son” of his supervisor.

Bad still has not blinked.

“I guess…” he says, already knowing that this is the worst decision he’ll probably ever make in his life.

Bad slaps him on the shoulder, causing Lukey to cough at the impact. “Great, we should get started right away! You can read the rest of the file, and I’ll figure out a time to meet with Pangi!”

Bad exits his own office, phone already in hand, as Lukey is left alone with the world of chaos that he’s just found himself engulfed in.

He sighs, stands up and picks up the file that was left on Bad’s desk. He looks at the door, looks back down to the file, and just laughs at himself and the insane situation he’s somehow ended up in.

---

The scheduled time to meet with Pangi came only a few hours after Lukey agreed to accept the case. He’s read the documents, understands the charges and reviewed what he needs to say.

He’s nervous. He’s never had a proper client before, so all he has is theory from law school with no real experience. He just hopes that he doesn’t fumble his first meeting (and also hopes that he can act nonchalant enough so that his own emotions and biases do not ruin the case before it even begins).

Walking beside Bad, they enter the lobby of the courthouse and head straight to the detainment area, politely greeting a few workers and guards. Bad showed his badge, and the two were promptly directed to the room.

“I’ll wait outside,” says Bad, “If you need anything, let me know. Hope you don’t fumble your first client meeting!” Lukey simply side-eyes Bad before approaching the door, hand on the handle.

He knows what to say, he knows the process, it will be fine. And even if things go sideways, it’s not like Pangi could fire him cause he is supposedly the only option for a lawyer for him. Whatever it may be, hopefully it’ll be entertaining.

He opens the door.

Pangi, in all honesty, seems to be weirdly comfortable in this detainment room. He doesn’t look all too different from the brief glimpse he had of him, replacing the green jacket with a black, green and white flannel. Arms crossed, feet on the table, he looks like he is simply resting at home. His sunglasses are sitting on his face, even though there is barely any sunlight peeking through the sole window in the room.

Gathering his words and repeating the phrase “stay professional” in his head, Lukey makes himself known.

“Hello, my name is Lukey Television, and I’ll be your public defense attorney for this case. I’m here to-”

“Everything I say to you is confidential, right?”

Lukey just stares at the man who had just interrupted his speech. “Okay, we’re jumping into it, I guess,” he mutters to himself. He looks up at Pangi, still resting like he owns the place. Stay professional. “Yes, everything you say to me is confidential.”

Pangi smiles. He takes his legs off the table and turns to face Lukey. “Great, because I have a lot of things to tell you.”

Lukey steels himself and hopes that at least a bit of this upcoming conversation will help defend this man. “What would you like to tell me?” he says, trying his best to sound polite.

“So I was feeling a little silly…” began Pangi, and Lukey had to stop him right there. Fuck professionalism, what does being silly got to do with anything.

“Being silly is not a good defense, you know that, right?”

“Hear me out! Let me finish, geez!” exclaims Pangi. He huffs and continues this story. “I was feeling a little silly, and I have this friend named Pili who made a bet with me-”

“A bet is also not a valid defense,” interrupts Lukey again, playing with the cuff of his sleeve.

“Can you stop interrupting me? What kind of lawyer doesn’t let the client speak their story?”

Lukey smiles. “Perhaps, Mr. Pangolin, when the client starts telling me stuff that makes logical sense and can actually be used to defend him, I may let you continue.”

Pangi scoffed. “That’s fucking rude, where’s the typical lawyer professionalism? I bet you have no clue what you’re doing!”

Lukey stares at Pangi, an exasperated expression on his face. “I do know what I’m doing, thank you very much. And if I didn’t know, what then? I’m the only attorney available for you!”

“That’s bullshit, you’re probably just a new lawyer who’s way too cocky for their own good, I can’t lie. Where’s Bad?”

Lukey scoffs at the fact that that statement is partially true. “I’m not lying. And Bad is outside. He’s helping with the case but I have to be your official lawyer cause of reasons. You’re aware of this, right?”

Pangi stares at him before sighing and nodding.

Lukey sits down on the chair opposite Pangi. He gestures towards him. “Continue your story. I apologize for interrupting you, I’ll try not to do that again.”

And Pangi does. He explains how his friend Pili dared him to disrupt the honey collection of the grocery store, how he was kinda bored and itching for chaos and the overall play by play of the actual robbery that occurred and how he didn’t expect to get caught so quickly. He didn’t mention the car rearing, which did hurt a little, but Lukey shrugged it off. He’s not going to bring it up unless he absolutely has to.

Overall, he sounds truthful, but in Lukey’s personal opinion, Pangi is not winning any debate with this mess of a backstory and motive.

“You do know that this backstory is not helping your case in the slightest, right?” says Lukey.
Pangi shrugs. “Not like they have video evidence or something.”

Lukey narrows his eyes, a confused look on his face. “There’s video evidence, Pangi!” He opens Pangi’s case file and shows him all the photos, screenshots from videos and documents that serve as evidence for his guilt.

Pangi winces slightly. “The evidence is of some guy wearing sunglasses and a dark green jacket robbing a store! Not me! I don’t have that jacket!”

Lukey sighs heavily, fingers pinching his brow. He points at the printed screenshot. “You literally have bright orange hair just like the guy in the video. Also, your voice was heard on the tapes, and your DNA was all over the broken bottles. Need I say more?”

“Caught, yellow dude with hands up.”

“Yeah, caught is an understatement. The question now is, what path are we going to approach this case with?”

Pangi stretches his arms, leaning back in his chair. “I don’t know, you’re the lawyer, aren’t you supposed to, I don’t know, figure that out yourself?”

“You’re literally facing 10+ years of prison, stop acting like you own the place,” quips Lukey, writing down a few notes on the file. Pangi rolls his eyes.

“What are we saying? You’re the legal expert here! What do you think I should do?”

Lukey puts his pen down and looks at Pangi. “Depends on you, really. Do you want to plead guilty and just get it over with? Or do you really want to go through with the whole trial process with this much evidence against you? What's your optimal outcome?”

Pangi bites his lip, deep in thought. The room is silent as Pangi mulls over his response and Lukey stares at him, waiting.

Pangi scratches his chin before pushing his sunglasses to the top of his head, resting on his hair. His blue eyes are visible, a first for Lukey.

“My optimal outcome is that I don’t get sent to jail. I can deal with probation or community service or even a fine, but I would rather not be locked up, you know.”

Lukey nods at the response. “Fair,” he says, writing it down, “If that’s what you want, I say we can do a partial plea. You can plead guilty to careless driving and mischief over $5000 and potentially even hit and run cause no one was hurt. We will have to plead not guilty for the robbery charge, though. Thoughts so far?”

Pangi shakes his head. “Makes sense, I guess… Remind me again why I was charged for hit and run?”

Lukey just stares at Pangi. Stares at him with all the disappointment and exasperation that someone could who is the victim of said hit and run that the perpetrator seems to not even remember.

“You rear-ended a car, remember? When you were escaping? Aren’t you supposed to be aware of your own criminal charges when you were booked?”

Pangi shrugs. “Can’t remember, not gonna lie. Is there evidence of this hit and run?”

Lukey just pushes the file closer to Pangi and points at the image of his very own car. “You rear-ended this car.”

Pangi looks at the image and lets out a small “oh.” Then he looks at Lukey, then back at the image, then back at Lukey again.

“Wait a second…” Pangi says, picking the photo up, “Are you…”

“Here we go,” Lukey thinks, as he rubs at his brow with his fingers. He looks up at Pangi. “Yes, I am the owner of that car. And yes, I am also your public defense attorney.”

Pangi, honest to god, cringes. “That’s awkward…”

Lukey lets out a small laugh. “Yeah, it definitely is…”

“I apologized to you, right?” asks Pangi, eyes wide.

Lukey lets out a full laugh at that question. “Yeah, a brief sorry as you were driving away after committing a robbery. Great apology, you know.”

Pangi scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah, uhm, sorry, man. Didn’t mean to do that…”

Lukey just sighs. “It’s fine, I’m not the type to sue anyways. Plus, we’re in a professional relationship now, so can’t do much about it.” Pangi just nods.

A knock is then heard from the door to the room. “The scheduled hour is up, we need to head over to the meeting with prosecution now,” said Bad, from behind the door.

Lukey gets up to leave, bringing the file back into his hands. He looks at Pangi and gives the man a small smile. “We’ll talk soon about bail. Nice to meet you, Pangi. See you around.”

He walks out of the room. That wasn’t so bad, right?