Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Drifting into slumber, you feel a transition occur, as you slowly fade from lying down in a heap of stuffed dragons to sitting down on a lip of your hive multiplied hundreds of times over in order to bring about the Ultimate Alchemy to Skaia. You are sniffing down at your land of Thought and Flow. You appear to be in the middle of a conversation.

> Terezi: Respond.

GC: 1M SUR3 1 M3NT1ON3D 4FT3R YOU M3T MY SPR1T3
GC: 1 L34RN3D FROM H3R THROUGH MY DR34MS
GC: B3FOR3 SH3 H4TCH3D!
CG: YEAH, BUT IT'S STILL SO VAGUE.
CG: THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT.
CG: HOW ABOUT A STRAIGHT ANSWER?
GC: OK, 1LL TRY
GC: WH3N 1 W3NT BL1ND, TH4TS WH3N 1 F1RST WOK3 UP
GC: 4ND MY LUSUS H3LP3D M3 W4K3 UP!
GC: SORT OF
CG: YOU MEAN ON PROSPIT'S MOON.
GC: Y3S
GC: BUT
GC: 3XC3PT FOR 4 V3RY BR13F MOM3NT...
GC: 1 W4S BL1ND 1N MY DR34MS TOO
GC: TH3 DR34M S3LF 1M4G3 1 PROJ3CT C4N'T S33, B3C4US3 1 GU3SS D33P DOWN 1 DONT R34LLY W4NT TO
CG: WHY IS THAT.
CG: IS IT OUT OF SPITE TO VRISKA?
CG: I KNOW I'D PROBABLY BE COOL WITH IT OUT OF SPITE MORE THAN ANYTHING.
GC: NO
GC: NOT TH4T TH3R3 W4SNT SOM3 S4T1SF4CT1ON 1N B31NG OK4Y W1TH 1T
GC: GR4T3FUL 4BOUT 1T 3V3N!
GC: AND M4KING SUR3 SH3 KN3W...THAT...UH K4RK4T?
CG: WHAT?
GC: W3 4LLR34DY H4D TH1S CONV3RS4TION
GC: 4ND 1 TH1NK TH4T...
GC: OH!
CG: WHAT? WHAT?? TELL ME!
GC: SORRY K4RK4T! 1 GOT TO GO

gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

> Terezi: Investigate.

You remember this memory all too well. You've been thinking of this exact MOM3NT for years on end now. All that time in the meteor and even longer out in the furthest ring with nothing else to occupy your time.

You quickly dash around the side of your hive, hoping that you have not missed him. Sprinting around the corner, you smell the blue rat, still scrawling the last bit of his message, telling you the name of your unseen riddler. Unseen, but not unsmelled.

TEREZI: JOHN?!

He whips around to face you. In his haste he ends up a few inches above the floor. His mouth gapes opens for a moment but then he smiles at you. A shy smile that you have come to like, or love, or hate, or whatever it is you are feeling about this unassuming nerd in a windsock.

He gives you a small wave as he touches back down to the ground.

JOHN: oh. hey terezi.
TEREZI: DONT YOU "H3Y M3" BUST3R!
TEREZI: WH4T 4R3 YOU DO1NG H3R3?
TEREZI: HOW 4R3 YOU H3R3??
JOHN: oh! i stuck my hand in this weird house thing and i needed to come here because future you-
TEREZI: NO, NO, 1 KNOW TH4T!
TEREZI: 1 M34N HOW 4R3 YOU H3R3 1N MY DR34M??
JOHN: this is a dream?
TEREZI: Y3S
JOHN: you sure?
TEREZI: Y3S
JOHN: cause i was just on my way to-
TEREZI: W1LL YOU L1ST3N?
TEREZI: 1 4LR34DY S3NT YOU ON TH1S QU3ST THROUGH C4NON
TEREZI: R3M3MB3R? YOU S4W TH4T FUTUR3 V3RS1ON OF M3 D13?
JOHN: yeah. hey! how do you know that??
JOHN: you're from the past aren't you?
JOHN: well my past i guess. that would make this your present then. so-
TEREZI: OH MY GOD JOHN! YOU 4R3 TH3 B1GG3ST DORK 1N P4R4DOX SP4C3!!

You throw up your hands in disgust. Trying to get this windy boy to understand is an ordeal all on it's own. In a twisted part of your mind, you've missed this.

You rummage around your sylladex.

TEREZI: OK LOOK S33 TH1S DR4GON H3R3? 1T'S TH3 S4M3 ON3 YOU JUST G4RB3D FROM MY H1V3 R1GHT??

John looks at the scalemate with surprise. He pulls out an exact duplicate of the dragon you have, looks at it incredulously. Then absentmindedly, hands it to you.

JOHN: huh, i guess your right.
JOHN: does that mean i am asleep?
JOHN: or am i dead?
TEREZI: Y3S YOU 4R3 D34D
TEREZI: NO YOU 4R3 NOT 4SL33P 1N 4 DR34M BUBBL3
TEREZI: 3NGL1SH D3STROY3D TH3M 4LL
JOHN: he did?
TEREZI: Y3S JOHN
JOHN: that doesn't sound good.
JOHN: is there anything i can do to stop him?
TEREZI: YOU 4LR34DY D1D
TEREZI: TH4T'S WHY YOUR *D34D*!!
JOHN: oh.

You are both quiet for a moment. John looking at you with a face of dejection, you feel like you just kicked a young barkbeast. You are sniffing him out, trying to think why this situation seems so familiar.

JOHN: so, how am i here?
TEREZI: TH4T'S WH4T 1 W4S 4SK1NG YOU YOU GOOB3R!
TEREZI: 1 SW34R YOU W1LL B3 TH3 3ND OF M3!

You feel like your black flirting is not up to your usual caliber. But you are giving yourself some slack here because your dead kismesiss is just standing there, as if he didn't go get himself killed by worrying about you. It's insufferable. Where did he go getting off by being up and about and talking to you? Ugh! He makes you so irritated sometimes.

He interrupts your black-rom thoughts by rapping on your head with his fist. That felt solid at least.

JOHN: hello? paradox space to terezi? earth, no. alternia to terezi?
JOHN: how do you trolls say that?
TEREZI: 4LT3RN14 TO T3R3Z1 1S F1N3
TEREZI: 1 W4S LOST 1N 4 THOUGHT TH3R3
TEREZI: 1 TH1NK 1 H4V3 DON3 SOM3TH1NG L1K3 TH1S B3FOR3
JOHN: well don't tell me anything about it or anything.
JOHN: i hate to be informed about stuff so i can help my friends.
TEREZI: GOD JOHN DONT B3 4 B1TCH >:]
JOHN: sorry.
TEREZI: 1 N33D TO JOG MY M3MORY
TEREZI: 1 H4V3 TO M4K3 MYS3LF R3M3MB3R

John glances down at your pulsing planet, the neurons bathing him in a glow of teal.

JOHN: well this is a good place to do it then right?
TEREZI: HUH >:?
JOHN: you're the seer of mind right?
JOHN: this is like the perfect place for you to remember stuff. besides you said we were in your dream.
JOHN: so that's like, twice the amount of mind you're using.
TEREZI: JOHN
TEREZI: TH4T 1S NOT HOW MY POW3RS WORK 4T 4LL
JOHN: oh.
JOHN: well, i'm not sure what-
TEREZI: 1M JUST M3SS1NG W1TH YOU N3RD!
TEREZI: TH4T W1LL B3 JUST WH4T 1 N33D!
JOHN: ARRG!!!
JOHN: WHY DO YOU DO THIS??
JOHN: do you just enjoy tormenting people??
TEREZI: ONLY YOU JOHN
TEREZI: >;]
JOHN: and why have you used my name like ten times now?
TEREZI: WH4T? YOU PR3F3R 1 C4LL YOU SM3LLY HUM4N BUTTF4C3 OR SOM3TH1NG
JOHN: john is suddenly sounding just fine now, thanks terezi.
TEREZI: YOU'RE W3LCOM3
TEREZI: <3<
JOHN: ack!! what was that look?!
TEREZI: WH4T LOOK
JOHN: that look you just gave me!
JOHN: don't pretend that you didn't!
TEREZI: 1 D1DNT G1V3 YOU 4 LOOK, D1NGUS
TEREZI: (H3H3H3)
JOHN: yes you did!
JOHN: otherwise you wouldn't be laughing!
DRAGONSPRITE: sniff sniff
DRAGONSPRITE: hey you two!

Both you and John spin around to see your dragonsprite just quietly flapping. She was watching you two the whole time while you shamelessly hate flirted with each other.

DRAGONSPRITE: heeeeeeeyyyyyyy!
DRAGONSPRITE: you two should kiss!
DRAGONSPRITE: heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee!
TEREZI: MOM PL34S3
TEREZI: 1 H4V3 SL1GHTLY H1GH3R ST4ND4RDS TH3N JOHN 3GB3RT
JOHN: wait, mom? that's your mom???
TEREZI: OH R1GHT
TEREZI: DR4GONMOM TH1S 1S JOHN, H3 1S GROSS 4ND K1ND4 SM3LLS L1K3 B4RF
JOHN: HEY!
TEREZI: JOHN TH1S 1S MY DR4GON LUS1S
TEREZI: SH3 1S TH3 GR34T3ST
JOHN: hello terezi's dragonmom.
DRAGONSPRITE: sniff sniff sniff sniff
DRAGONSPRITE: hiiiiii john!
DRAGONSPRITE: hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
JOHN: i like your mom.
TEREZI: 1 KNOW R1GHT?! SH3'S 4W3SOM3.
JOHN: what did she mean about a kiss?
TEREZI: MOM 1S 1NCR3D1BLY FORW4RD W1TH WHO SH3 SH1PS H3R D4UGHT3R W1TH
TEREZI: SH3 SH4R3S TH4T 1N COMMON W1TH ON3 OF MY OTH3R D34D FR13NDS
JOHN: was it the cute cat troll?
TEREZI: Y3S
TEREZI: HOW D1D YOU KNOW?
JOHN: oh i saw here briefly. during our little scarf...quest...

John pauses looks really confused by now.

JOHN: ok. i'm remembering stuff now? i pretty sure i haven't done that yet, but i will soon??
TEREZI: W3 W1LL G3T TH3R3
TEREZI: 1'M GO1NG TO US3 MY POW3RS
JOHN: to do the mindy thing?
TEREZI: Y3S JOHN, TO DO TH3 M1NDY TH1NG >P

You sit down to sniff over your Land of Thought and Flow, the two dragons now sit in your lap. Without thinking you push their heads together.

JOHN: what are you doing now you weirdo.
TEREZI: 1 4M TH3 MOTH3R OF DR4GONS 4ND MUST BR33D TH3 SP3C13S 1N ORD3R TO 3NSUR3 TH31R SURV1V4L!
JOHN: you're just making them kiss.
TEREZI: TH4T 1S TH3 F1RST ST3P OF TH3 BR33D1NG PROC3SS!
TEREZI: FOR TH3 OFFSPR1NG TO 4CH13V3 TH3 GR34T3ST POT3NT14L TH3Y F1RST MUST BOND!
JOHN: uh huh. do dragons have quadrants or just one type of romance like a sensible species?
TEREZI: FOUR 1S 4 P3RF3CTLY NORM4L NUMB3R OF ROM4NC3S TO H4V3 YOU UNCULTUR3D HOG B34ST!
TEREZI: MY GOD YOU 4R3 4 R34L X3NOPHOB3 WH3N YOU W3R3 TH1S YOUNG!
JOHN: i am not a xenophobe! good god! i'm sick of that joke!
TEREZI: WH4T JOK3? TH1S 1S TH3 F1RST T1M3 1 3V3N SUGG3ST3D 1T?
JOHN: no you didn't! you made it when...

John trails off again. You wait with bated breath. When had he heard it? During one of your text messages with him on Hell Earth C? Or during their brief interval together going around the black hole gaffer? He doesn't give you an answer, however, only shaking his head as he sits down next to you.

JOHN: maybe you should get on with it already?
JOHN: i think you have stalled for long enough.
TEREZI: 1 DONT KNOW WH4T YOUR T4LK1NG 4BOUT! DR4GON BR34D1NG 1S 4 V3RY S3R1OUS JOB 4ND 1 T4K3 4LL WORK V3RY S3R1OUSLY
JOHN: and you're seriously fucking around now because...?
TEREZI: B3C4US3...
TEREZI: 1 W4NT3D TO M3SS W1TH YOU
JOHN: god dammit terezi.

You laugh. Wow, you don't think you have had this much fun since, well, since the last time you teased John. That thought makes you drop your smile real quick. God, this talk is just making you miss the real John more! Why are you doing this to yourself?

John seems to understand that something is wrong and reaches out a hand to your shoulder. Again, he makes contact. He feels real, that is definitely a real hand you are feeling.

JOHN: hey, are you ok?
TEREZI: 1M F1N3
JOHN: i don't think i have ever seen you like this
TEREZI: L1K3 WH4T?
JOHN: well, sad.
TEREZI: HUH >:???
JOHN: i've seen you happy, laughing, pissed, mischievous, annoyed, and a whole host of other things.
JOHN: but i don't think i've ever seen you sad.

You do not know how to respond to that. Why did he have to go and say something stupid like that? You are fine, F1N3 dammit! You definitely do not feel like wanting to throw yourself into his arms and cry. You certainly do not want to kiss him again and explain everything. You do not want to kiss this random Egbert nerd who is probably like two or three sweeps younger than you right now that would be...wait no. You guess it would be you that is a sweep younger than him right now? You were only six at the time. But wait, did having the memories from when you were older count? What kind of body do you have right now?? And didn't he have memories from his older self too???

John shakes you out of your thought spiral. Thank God that boy was as solid anchor to clutch too, he didn't change. The day John Egbert was not a good friend was the day that Paradox Space and every universe that had every existed would scarce to be worth living. And it is because of this thought you realize that despite all those misgiving, you still really want to kiss this dumb kid. No, you want to kiss this dumb young man.

JOHN: like i said, you ok???
TEREZI: 1M...

Nope, you are not OK but you sure as shit are not going to say that now. Right now you feel...well like John said: fucking sad.

You shake your head trying to dislodge all TH3S3 DUMB F33L1NGS OF W34KN3SS. No Terezi, they are not a weakness, don't think things like that. Those are some feeling that you really need to work out...

TEREZI: JUST GR34T!
TEREZI: N3V3R B3TT3R! L3TS DO TH3 M1NDY TH1NG TH3N!

*Sigh* OK Terezi your call. You always make yourself unhappy somehow. Maybe I can help you with a little of this then.

You look down at the nodes of your land. You look for a long time, trying to summon whatever power the game bestowed upon you, trying to see the paths that took you here and the ones that were not taken. Nothing seems to happen for a bit but little by little, you begin to make out shapes in the nodes, then whole images, and finally whole scenes in the little circles of canon and non-canon for you to explore. The answers you are looking for are down one of these paths you can feel it.

> Terezi: Recollect.