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Chapter Text

Isak has honestly no idea what made him stop in front of just that message board on his way to his classes. He stands there and plays with the straps of his backpack unconsciously while staring at a poster. There's nothing super intriguing about it either, it’s just a turquoise paper with black print on it.

It's the title he takes in for quite a time. It says ‘You are not alone’ and it's moving something, a bundle of some sort of unrecognisable feelings inside of him. Isak furrows his brows and reads further. It's apparently kinda for making friends or making it easy to talk with someone by exchanging phone numbers with other students. There's an email address beneath the description for that purpose.

Before he fully realises what he's doing he digs up his phone and takes a picture of that poster. He glances the time and curses. Shit, he's gonna be late for his class if he doesn't hurry up now. He prefers being there early, just when the previous class has ended and people are still leaving.

During his class, Isak can't help thinking about the poster. It's not that he is alone, no. Isak has friends, good friends, but they are studying elsewhere and especially Jonas, his best friend, living in a different city now is something that takes some time to get used to.

He's been rebuilding slowly but surely his relationship with his mother. He visits her once in a while and sometimes they just grab coffee together while catching up. And his dad, well, he tries. And nowadays there are days when he almost appreciates him trying.

The semester has just started a few weeks ago and he has been caught up in his classes and everything new, including the moving in to his own flat after sharing one with Jonas and Mags and Mahdi. Making new friends is still kinda in a progress, Isak has been chatting with some people in his course but just about common things, schedules and so. And to be honest, he doesn't find it that easy to bond with new people immediately.

It might be easier with texting, he thinks, then there's no awkward silence or him getting tongue tied when it comes to things that are more than just the surface. And if he happens to fuck it up as in being too lame or so, they can give the other one a new number.

On the break between classes, Isak sends his number to the email address without further thinking. It doesn't even mean he has to text to someone if he's not up to it yet then there's a chance if he wants to.

After his classes Isak hurries over to his later shift in a grocery shop nearby. Even though his dad has promised to help with a rent, Isak prefers not relying on him too much as a learnt habit. Besides he kinda likes it, filling up the shelves, putting things into right order. That's where he's good at, with stuff, things.

He's phone pings for a notification and he opens up his email and there it is, the number of someone new, someone unknown, a possibility. Isak smiles when he puts his phone away and starts working again.

Isak sighs when he closes his notebook and stands up after sitting for quite a while. He ate while reading so he gathers the dishes and sets them on the sink, he'll deal with them tomorrow.

When he's finally in bed he tries to find a comfortable position in order to fall asleep. After a while he opens his eyes and stares at the ceiling. Everything is quite okay, why the fuck the sleep seems unattainable. He rubs his eyes frustrated and reaches to grab his phone from the nightstand.

He turns over the phone in his hands a few times before he stops to stare at the number he got today. His fingers hover over the 'send' a moment before he just takes a deep breath and sends a message:

'Hi'

Then he glances the time and curses, it's almost fucking midnight. Way to go Isak, oh fuck, not creepy at all, no. He groans and presses the phone against his forehead. He is startled by his phone beeping and he's mentally prepared for a not so polite 'fuck off', and he sighs in relief when he looks at the answer:

'Hi there'

Isak answers rapidly:

'I'm sorry if I woke you up, didn't realise the time'

'It's ok, wasn't sleeping yet'

'Ok, good'

Isak bites his lower lip and realises it might sound silly saying it's good when someone's not sleeping at midnight and types:

'I mean not good if you can't sleep, obviously'

He has just time to think how that sounded silly too when he sees the answer:

'Ahh, no worries, just watching a movie'

'Ok'

Then he gets a message he's not sure how to answer to, just because he doesn't know the answer by himself. He stares at it for a good while.

'What's your reason not to sleep then?'

Isak tries to form an answer but before he does, there's an another message:

'Oh sorry, you don't have to tell, obviously, I've been told I might be too forward sometimes, sorry'

Isak smiles at that, the person on the other side of the conversation being a little awkward too. He answers honestly:

'I don't actually know the answer for that. Too many thoughts in my head at the same time I guess, not allowing me to concentrate on one at a time so that I could make some sense of them'

Isak is being startled by his own answer. He just now realises how true it is, how thoughts and especially bigger feelings feel like a giant knot inside of him and it's hard to see or feel them clear sometimes, maybe more often that not. He is being pulled out of his thoughts when he sees the answer:

'Relatable'

Isak can't help thinking how comfortable it already is to chat with this person but he still asks:

'Do you think this is a silly idea? I mean, to talk with a stranger?'

'Well, if it is, that makes us equally silly then'

Isak huffs and answers:

'Haha, it does'

Then it takes a little while before there's an another message:

'But honestly I think it's cool'

'Hmm?'

'To be able to talk with someone who doesn't view you based on any previous assumptions or so. To be just as you are, right now'

Isak is stunned by the answer and types:

'Wow, that was deep'

Then he continues:

'And I think you are right'

Then there's a longer pause without any new messages. Maybe that person got overwhelmed by the direction of the conversation so Isak decides to try with a lighter subject:

'So, what's the plot?'

'Hmm?'

'You were watching a movie, what's it about?'

'Ahh. Love'

'Love?'

'Isn't it always?'

'I don't know'

'How come? The great stories, in the end it's love that it's all about, it always comes back to love'

Isak huffs and can't help answering:

'Pretentious one, aren't you?'

'Haha maybe so but don't you agree?'

Isak types without thinking:

'I wouldn't know. I've never been in love'

And oh God, what the fuck Isak!? Who the fuck tells things like that in the first conversation ever with some stranger? He drops his phone onto his chest and bites his knuckles.

When he hears there's an answer he unconsciously holds his breath before checking it. Isak exhales audibly when he reads:

'That's chill'

He smiles at the answer, it reminds him of Jonas. That's exactly what he said when Isak just one day blurted out loud he doesn't think he likes girls that way.

His phone beeps again:

'So, what's your passion then, what makes you intrigued?'

Isak huffs and answers:

'Science I guess'

'If I'm the pretentious one, then I think I'm sensing some strong nerd vibes from there. Am I right?'

Isak can't help a chuckle escaping when he types:

'You are and I'm proud of it'

'And you should be. And I should let your nerd brain get some sleep now'

'Haha, ok. Luckily my classes won't start before ten though'

'Ouch, mine start at eight already'

'Shit I'm the one who should let you sleep then'

'Haha maybe we both should go to sleep. Btw, I'm Even'

Isak mouths his name, Even, and answers just simple:

'Isak'

'Good night Isak'

Isak huffs and lets his lips curve into a smile. And it feels good.

'Good night Even'

Chapter Text

Even stares at the message, his name:

'Isak'

It can't be him, can it? The boy he noticed the very first day of this semester when he arrived to his classes when Even was just leaving after his. The boy whose name he learnt when he heard him answering his phone while he was passing by.

And then he's been seeing him again, coming early to his classes, just when Even's class has ended, taking a place in the front row, and he now knows it's his thing, to be there just then already. And Even just can't help looking at him while he gathers his own stuff with him.

This boy, Isak, he puts his notebook and pencils on the desk, sometimes concentrating on his notes. But many times there's a moment he just sits there, sometimes leaning on his hands, sometimes on his seat. Then he closes his eyes and just breathes. And Even is mesmerized, willing to know what he sees behind his eyelids while looking so calm and peaceful. He's beautiful.

But whether this Isak texting him is him or not, he seems nice and funny and it's easy to chat with him. Even wishes him good night and smiles when he gets back:

'Good night Even'

He's glad his friend asked him to help with his project which was about helping people connect through messaging in order to just get friends and someone to chat, without any pressure. Even designed the poster and gave his number there too, knowing quite well sometimes it's just nice to know there's someone you can talk to, even if it was just light things. And it was for himself too, sometimes talking with someone unknown is liberating. It gives a chance to be just as you are, be in the present.

Then he realises something, scrolls through the messages and yeah, this Isak says his classes start at ten tomorrow. Come on Even, it can easily be just a coincidence, just because tomorrow his classes are before Isak's it doesn't mean it's him. Still when lying in bed, he can't help wondering, what if?

"Wanna grab some coffee after this?" Mikael asks when their classes are about to end.

"Sure, just go ahead, I'm gonna check my notes and come right after you", Even answers absentmindedly.

"Okay then", Mikael says and Even pretends not noticing how he grins when he catches him looking at the doors.

And then he's here, Isak, walking in as the others are walking out. He has his red snapback on and a grey hoodie and he carries his backpack only on his other shoulder. He looks lovely.

Even shoves his stuff carelessly into his backpack while he watches Isak finding his seat and putting his phone on the desk next to his notes. Even just can't resist it, he types a message while walking down the stairs from the back row:

"Good morning"

His heart skips a beat when he sees Isak reaching for his phone. Calm down Even, it doesn't mean it's him.

Just when he's on the final steps he hears a rumbling noise, his stuff, notes and pencils and all decided to crash on the floor just this moment from his backpack. Apparently he should have paid a little more attention to closing it.

He kneels down immediately and starts to gather them and glances to Isak's direction. He's looking at him and Even stills. Well, here goes nothing:

"Hi", he smiles at him while trying to collect his notes spread out all over the floor.

Isak looks at him a bit startled before smiling and saying:

"Hi"

And what a smile, Even knows he must be giving him heart eyes at the moment but who wouldn't?

Then Isak asks: "Do you need help?"

When he stands up he simultaneously wipes his own notes off the table and they are spreading on the floor, right among Even's.

Isak looks at the floor shocked for a second before bursting out laughing. The sound of his laughter fills Even's stomach with butterflies and he's looking so cute it's impossible not to start laughing too.

"Well, I think that was an answer enough, Isak says laughter in his voice while he starts to collect the papers on the floor too.

They spend a good while gathering it all and Even glances Isak from time to time, all concentrated on his task. When Isak gives one of Even's notes to him their fingers brush briefly making Even almost gasp out loud. Their eyes meet before Isak looks down a little smile on his lips. Is he blushing? Even has to bite his lower lip in order to stop himself blurting out loud how cute he is.

Even sets Isak's notes on his desk and says: "Thanks for help. I'm Even by the way."

Isak lifts his eyes meeting his and says: "Isak", before reaching for his phone. Even looks at him typing and soon feels his own phone buzzing in his pocket. He slowly digs it up and glances Isak after reading:

"Good morning"

Isak is looking back at him and says a laughter bubbling in his voice:

"So.. Hi Even"

"Hi Isak", Even says and he knows he's beaming, he just can't help it.

The sounds of the crowd of people coming in break their bubble and Even says: "See you around Isak."

Isak smiles and nods. Even walks towards the doors and turns his head to glance him once more and smiles at the sight of him looking right back at him.

After his last classes for the day he heads to work at the KB nearby. Nowadays he mainly works at weekends, willing to concentrate on his studies but he promised to cover his friend this time.

While making coffee and serving customers his mind wanders to Isak more often than not. When there's a quiet moment he quickly sends a message to Isak:

'How was your day? Did you learn fancy sciency things?'

Even puts his phone away when the next customer enters and is busy until the time of closing up.

When walking home, his phone beeps:

'Haha very sciency indeed, biology it is'

'That's cool though', Even answers.

'I guess it is'

'You guess?'

'Haha okay, it's my thing, I admit it'

Even wants to tell how awesome it is to go for one's passion but then Isak sends him another message:

'How was your day?'

Even stops to really think about it. It's a simple question yet something about Isak makes him want to answer properly. It feels like he is genuinely asking even if just by messaging.

'It was good, although I happened to drop all my stuff on the floor after classes'

'Weird, same happened to me before my classes'

Even huffs when he answers:

'Haha it must be today's thing then'

'Must be haha'

Even enters his flat, he's quite tired after his shift and just drops his backpack on the floor, eats quickly and crawls under the duvet. He smiles when he notices there's a message from Isak:

'Have an early shift at work tomorrow. Hopefully I'm not dropping things there'

'Haha'

Even's eyelids are starting to feel heavy and he types yawning:

'Just got home from work, tired, gonna go to sleep'

'Good night Even'

He answers smiling before sleep takes over:

'Good night Isak'

The next day goes quickly with classes and his assignment with Mikael. He's on his way home, leaning on the pole in a stuffed tram when he sees Isak entering it. When he lifts his eyes Even smiles at him:

"Hi"

Isak seems a bit startled at first but then his lips curve into a smile when he says:

"Hi"

He looks down for a second before looking at Even again.

Even can't help repeating in his mind how cute he looks, snapback backwards on his head, not fully covering his blond curls and a tiny smile playing on his lips.

"Are you going home?" Isak asks leaning on the pole too.

"Yeah, free night. You?"

"Yeah."

When Even looks at Isak, leaning his head on the pole looking so soft, the words just escape his mouth:

"Wanna hang out, play fifa or something?"

Isak lifts his eyes and maybe Even sees what he wants to see but he looks delighted when he answers:

"Yeah, okay, sounds chill."

Even nods smiling and says feeling everything but chill: "Nice."

Even smiles when he glances Isak looking at some of his sketches on the fridge door while he makes them sandwiches.

Isak keeps his eyes on the drawings when he asks:

"What are you studying?"

"Media studies. Although I'm thinking about teaching too. Maybe I could combine them, time will tell, I guess."

Isak turns to look at him when he says:

"Cool."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Even gives Isak his plate and they sit on the floor to eat before starting to play.

They play for quite a long time. Even is good but Isak might be better. He looks so cute when he's all concentrated on playing and Even can't help smiling fondly when he sees him cursing silently from time to time furrowing his brows.

Okay, maybe Even isn't fully focused on winning when he keeps glancing Isak and is startled by Isak asking:

"Hey, you are falling behind, are you tired?"

Even's mind goes blank and all he manages to say out loud is:

"What's the time?"

Isak checks his phone making an unruly curl fall over his eye and says:

"21.21."

And honestly, Even just doesn't think, he reaches to brush the curl behind Isak's ear and then freezes before pulling his hand slowly back. He feels his cheeks burning and when he dares to look at Isak, he sees him looking right back at him, cheeks flushed and a shy smile on his lips.

Isak stands up saying: "I have an early shift tomorrow too, I should get going."

Then when Even stands up too, Isak looks at him, steps closer and Even just melts when he feels Isak brushing his hair gently letting his fingertips linger on Even's temple. Isak blushes and says quietly:

"Good night Even."

Then he turns away leaving Even stand there all stunned. He manages to sigh after him:

"Good night Isak. "

It's Friday and Even smiles at his phone when his classes are about to end. It's Isak:

"Wanna grab some coffee?"

"Yeah sure, I'm just leaving."

Isak's answer is immediate:

"I'll go to library quickly, need to return one book. See you outside?"

"Ok :)"

When Even's heading to the library he hears a familiar voice:

"Hi stranger."

Even smiles and says while hugging her briefly:

"Hi Sonja, how are you?"

"All good, just gonna meet some friends. Where are you rushing to?"

Even just knows he's beaming when he answers:

"Meeting a friend too."

Sonja tilts his head to the side and smiles:

"You look happy. And also as if you had eaten a bunch of butterflies."

Even huffs. He's happy they stayed friends after breaking up over a year ago, it feels just right that way. So he answers smiling:

"Maybe I have."

Then he notices Isak standing in front of the library looking at them and waves at him. Isak waves back and Sonja looks at his direction a smile playing on her lips when she says:

"See you around"

"Yeah", Even says before starting to walk over to Isak and for fuck's sake, he totally feels those butterflies making all kinds of somersaults and circles in his belly. And it feels good.

Chapter Text

While Isak is in the library, walking over to the desk in order to return a book, he is already a bit nervous but even more he's, well, glad. Glad to see him, Even, the boy he just met but who already lights up this spark of feelings inside of him.

He can't help thinking how it feels to be around him, how easy it is to just be and feel. And he does want to feel, feel, feel. He's intrigued and somehow already feels safe to feel when he's with him.

Maybe it has something to do with those blue eyes with the kindest of look. And okay, maybe seeing his eyes crinkling when he smiles that bright smile of his makes Isak wanna reach out and feel that smile under his fingertips.

So after his morning shift and afternoon classes he just decided to ask if Even was free and willing to spend time with him. And now he's about to see him and it's the first time since that caress. How tender was the soft touch of his fingers brushing his hair, even just thinking about it ignites warmth spreading inside of him.

Isak can't still quite believe he returned the caress, it felt just so natural, something he really wanted to do. So he did. Somehow getting lost in their shared glances makes him feel not lost at all, makes him brave. What is this feeling, he wants to find out, he really does.

He exits the library and lets his eyes wander, until he sees him. Even has stopped near the library and he's talking with a girl. And there's that bright smile again, making Isak's heart beat faster. Then Even hugs her and says something before lifting his eyes and noticing Isak. Even waves at him all smiling and Isak automatically waves back at him and sees him starting to approach him.

"Hi there", Even says and stops right before him. So close. Then he continues: "Did you have to wait for me long?"

Isak glances him and shakes his head while he answers:

"Just returned the book."

Then he just blurts without thinking:

"I'm not in a hurry, I mean you didn't need to hurry-"

Fuck, how is it so hard to talk like a normal human being, Isak just knows he's blushing already and he tries to form an understandable sentence:

"I mean I wish I didn't interrupt you."

When he looks at Even he looks confused for a moment before he breaks into a blinding smile:

"Oh. No, I was coming to you. I just bumped into Sonja on my way."

"Okay", Isak says.

Isak feels Even's eyes on him and when he looks back at him he finds him looking at him carefully. The look in his eyes is attentive yet soft, like he's trying to see if everything is okay.

Isak smiles at him and they start walking when Even says out of the blue:

"We were together for a while but then we realised we just work so much better as friends."

Isak looks at his shoes while walking and can't help his smile widening when he answers a simple: "Okay."

"Wanna know what she said?", Even asks with a smile in his voice.

Isak glances him and sees him already looking at him when he nods.

"She said I look like I have butterflies in my stomach", Even blurts and Isak feels his cheeks flushing and he can't help a pleased huff escaping. He knows he's fully grinning now and when he glances Even he's not any better.

Isak huffs again and Even bumps his shoulder lightly chuckling too. They just keep glancing each other with equally wide smiles on their lips while walking side by side.

Isak leads them to the cafe he is used to going and they sit down near the window with their steaming mugs. Isak knows quite well his coffee is burning hot but he kinda forgets it and fuck how it burns his tongue when he takes a large sip.

Even must have noticed but he doesn't say a thing, just pushes his glass of water closer towards Isak and he gladly takes it, letting the cold water alleviate the pain.

"Thanks", Isak says and Even just smiles at him before saying:

"I work at the KB near uni, how come you have never stopped by there? Isn't the coffee decent enough?"

Isak chuckles when he says: "Maybe it's not hot enough", before sipping water again.

"Noted", Even retorts with a formal voice while his smiling eyes are giving him away.

"Nah, it's just that I often grab coffee here with my mum."

Isak looks at his mug after that, sometimes it still hits him how fresh this new closeness between him and his mum is.

"That's nice." Even says with a warm voice.

Isak lifts his eyes and is met by those soft, kind eyes. It feels like those knots tied around his feelings are about to lose their grip a little and he bites his lip when he thinks 'not now, not here with all these people around me'.

He manages to sigh: "Yeah", while staring at his mug like a lifeline.

When he feels Even's fingertips brushing his knuckles lightly he gives a glance at him. Even gives him a gentle smile and says: "I feel like going for a walk, wanna join me?"

Isak nods and they leave. How come this boy he has just met knows exactly that this is what he needs now, an out of these feelings at this very moment. He's not asking any questions, is just present and giving him time to breathe again, come back to this moment, to the Isak he's now. He's thankful.

They walk until they are standing in a park and Even shouts abruptly with laughter in his voice: The first one by the swings wins!"

Then he just starts running leaving Isak stunned for a second before he spurts after him shouting: "That's cheating!"

He hears Even chuckling and runs even faster and in the end they end up by the swings at the same time, Isak just a bit earlier. They are both all panting and laughing and Isak can't help saying fondly: "You are such a dork."

Even just gives him a bright smile, looking all pleased as if he'd accomplished something. Isak huffs when he sits on the swing and kicks it in motion. When Even still stands on his feet Isak glances him and smiles:

"What? All that running and now you're not even giving it a try. I think these are quite good swings."

Even huffs: "You think so? Then I must definitely test it." He sits on the other swing next to Isak's, starts to swing and looks all evaluating when he says: "Yeah okay, I admit it."

They share a smile and Isak asks: "So, what does the winner get?"

Even looks at him intensely when he answers: "What does the winner want?"

Isak averts his eyes knowing he's blushing and mumbles: "I don't know, I'll come back to it later."

Even keeps swinging higher and says:

"Sometimes it's just nice to do things like this, swing so high it's almost impossible to think anything else but the feeling of air touching your skin."

Isak hums for that and they keep swinging a while and he gets what Even means. He aims higher and higher and it's like letting his thoughts vanish across the universes, there's no time or place for a little while.

When they slowly let their swings stop Isak smiles at Even and says: "This is nice."

"Yeah?" Even smiles back.

"Yeah. I like the way it feels a little like getting to cross the universes for a second. That's why I'm always early on my classes too. It's silly but somehow I like about it, being in the middle of change, people being there and leaving. Then there's that quiet moment in between before new people are coming in."

"It's not silly."

Isak looks at Even and he has such a fond look in his eyes it takes Isak's breath away. Beautiful, so kind and beautiful, Isak can't help thinking.

It's starting to get dark and Isak glances his phone and smiles. Fuck it, he thinks when he says with the next exhale: "I now know what the winner wants."

Even is already looking at him and asks softly: "Yeah?"

"I wanna know what's the time?" Isak says still looking at him.

Even glances his phone confused and then looks Isak back when he answers with a quiet, tender voice: "21.21."

Isak knows his eyes are telling everything now and Even leans closer ever so slowly letting his hand caress Isak's cheek. It's so tender Isak sighs out loud and just lifts his chin as a silent ask. Even's lips are soft and careful against his and Isak wants to drown in this feeling. He parts his lips and kisses him back, slow, so slow like they have all the time in the World.

It's just two boys kissing in the park in the dim night, and it's just one kiss among the uncountable kisses in the uncountable universes. Even's soft lips against his Isak just feels and feels, drowning in that timeless place across the universes, infinity. But those tender fingertips on his cheek are grounding him making it known this very moment is real.

Isak starts his saturday morning lying in bed, hugging his pillow smiling more often than not. Even has an early shift so they parted in the evening after kissing some more. He can't help touching his lips with his fingertips from time to time, as if he could still feel the soft touch of their kiss when he closes his eyes.

His phone beeps and it's Even:

'Wanna hang out today?'

Isak knows he needs to study this weekend too and he answers:

'I have a hot date with my assignment actually'

'Ouch. I'm jealous'

Isak smiles knowing he's an idiot when he types:

'Maybe bring your school stuff with you so we can have double dates?'

'Sounds intriguing, I gotta say yes to that'

Then Isak types the thing he really wants to say:

'Miss you'

'Isak!!!!!'

'What??'

'You made me almost drop my phone!'

Then before Isak has time to react, there's another message:

'And I miss you too'

'<3'

'<3'

They've been studying surprisingly for quite a while, lying on Isak's bed with their laptops and notes. Isak has really tried not looking Even because well, obvious reasons. But now he just knows Even is looking at him and when he lifts his eyes it's confirmed. Even looks at him while biting his pencil. Isak lifts his eyebrows and smiles.

Even smiles back at him and blurts:

"You look so cute when you're all concentrated."

Isak gets flustered and retorts outraged:

"What?!!"

"I said you are cute", Even says again with the brightest of smiles still looking at Isak.

"Am not", Isak says but he has to hide his smile in his palms now.

"Isak Valtersen, just so you know, you are the definition of cuteness."

Isak bursts out laughing and throws his pencil lightly on him when he laughs:

"Stop it, oh my god"

"Never", Even answers and then crawls closer. Isak moves his laptop aside just in time to pull him closer. He's being attacked by those soft lips peppering little kisses on his face; cheeks, nose, forehead, everywhere. Isak can't help giggling when Even mumbles between kisses: "Cute, cute, cute."

When Even's lips reach the corner of his mouth, Isak wraps his arms around his neck, and looks him in the eyes before pressing his lips against his. And Even melts against him, opens his lips and kisses him. And they kiss, soft lazy kisses, still getting to know how the other one feels, Isak learning how Even sighs softly when Isak pulls his hair gently. And Isak getting all mellow inside when Even caresses his cheek while deepening the kiss.

Isak is resting his head against Even's chest, his hand lightly against Even's neck, occasionally brushing the locks of his hair underneath his hoodie. Even keeps drawing circles on Isak's upper arm and those sweet little caresses make him close his eyes. It's safe to feel. So he asks:

"Even?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you have a good relationship with your parents?"

Even keeps caressing him when he answers:

"Yes."

"Okay."

Even squeezes his shoulder gently, it's soothing. Isak wants to talk, so he does:

"I'm, I just. I love my mum. And I see her quite often nowadays. But. I wasn't always there for her. When she wasn't stable my dad left and well, I left too. But I love her."

Even pulls him closer and says with a tender voice:

"You are here now, you are doing your best and you did then too. You are supposed to feel safe baby. I don't know much but it was not your responsibility and I do see how you care and that's what matters now. You are here now."

Isak snuggles even closer, clenching Even's shirt in his fists tightly and says:

"This is me, sometimes I struggle dealing with feelings, sometimes I don't even know how I feel or how I should feel or be."

Even holds him ever so close, kissing the top of his head and Isak lifts his head and is met by those kind eyes, looking so so fond. So he looks at him and says:

"But this is me and there's one thing I do know."

He presses his forehead against Even's and whispers: "I like the way I feel when I'm with you."

Chapter Text

"I like the way I feel when I'm with you"

Even presses Isak closer to him, gosh he knows his heart is pounding loud against Isak. This boy, this precious, brave boy makes him lose his breath with those soft words he just says, not holding back. He's in awe, how Isak just allows himself to be true and vulnerable with him, trusts him, Even, so much.

Even kisses his forehead, pouring the tenderness he has in him into that simple caress. And before he has time to say a thing, Isak kisses him, soft, long kiss making him feel thoroughly touched, pulling his heartstrings in the best of ways.

It's starting to get late and Isak lifts his head and asks with a soft sigh:

"Stay?"

How could he not? When he's having him in his arms, it's the easiest thing to answer:

"Yeah. Yeah, of course."

Isak smiles and snuggles even closer, his palms against Even's chest and just sighs. It doesn't take long before his breathing comes all steady and Even has a sleeping boy in his embrace. God damn it makes him mellow. And speechless. But he knows there are things to be said, steps to take for making this real the way he wants it. If Isak just wants this, them.

It's fucking scary to lay yourself all open in front of someone you already care about so much. But he wants this to work so bad. He brushes Isak's curl from his forehead ever so gently, not willing to disturb his sleep and closes his eyes. This is now and the comforting warmth of the boy sleeping against him makes it easier to let the sleep take over. Tomorrow, he decides before falling asleep.

Even smiles when the feeling of Isak's hair tickling his chin wakes him up. He wants to get used to this, he wants this, them, so much. When he opens his eyes, Isak lifts his head slightly looking at Even with sleepy eyes and a soft smile and says:

"Hi there."

He looks so soft Even can't help petting his hair when he smiles:

"Hi there."

Isak moves a little, lying on his side now and Even moves too, hiding his face against Isak's chest, nuzzling his nose against the fabric of his shirt. Isak wraps his arms around him and hums pleased. It's so cozy, he just enjoys the feeling of Isak holding him tight yet tender before lifting his eyes and looking at him while saying:

"Isak?"

"Hmm?" Isak asks and looks back at him.

"I need to tell you something", Even says and averts his eyes for a moment.

"Okay", Isak answers and Even can hear vulnerability in his voice. And no, Isak can't think Even wouldn't want this so he looks at him again and says hearing the same vulnerability in his own voice now:

"I really want to be with you."

Then he feels Isak's fingers combing his hair and he sighs:

"Yeah. Come here, baby."

Even lifts his head and crawls higher, facing Isak and finds the courage from the tender look of those green stars. He takes a breath and says:

"It's about me. I'm bipolar. And I...I
understand if it changes things."

Even can't help a sigh escaping when he feels Isak's fingertips brushing his temple ever so gently. He closes his eyes for the touch but opens them to take in Isak's words:

"You are you. You are Even. This is you and I really, really like you."

And I adore you, Even thinks closing his eyes again when Isak presses his forehead against his. What he says out loud is:

"I've never felt this way before."

Isak kisses his cheek and whispers: "Me neither."

Even looks at him again and says:

"There are things in my past I'm not all proud of."

Isak smiles gently and says:

"Same here."

Then he continues:

"And you can talk to me, whenever you want. If you want. I might not be the best when it comes to talking but I'm the master of listening though."

Even huffs and kisses Isak's nose making him crinkle his face. He still wants to make things more clear:

"Sometimes things might get harder, there are days when it's not like this, sometimes my feelings can get overwhelming in different ways."

"They are still your feelings and if the World gets overwhelming I'm glad to be here with you. Just if you want. I wanna be here. With you."

Then Isak blushes and averts his eyes, takes a deep breath and looks at him when he says:

"Can we, I mean will you..?"

"What baby?" Even asks letting his fingertips caress Isak's eyebrow. Isak leans into the touch and asks:

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

And Even melts. Truly. Words, he needs words now. He knows he's beaming when he says grinning:

"Yeah. Yes to that a million times."

Isak huffs and beams back:

"Okay. No need to exaggerate."

Even bursts out laughing but it's swallowed by Isak's mouth against his, lips on lips and fuck yeah, it's his boyfriend's lips now he's kissing.

"I have an afternoon shift today", Even sighs. They are still lying on bed, Even on his back and Isak's head resting on his stomach.

Isak glances him and says:

"I have still work with my assignment too."

"Wanna stop by? I promise to make you hot enough coffee." Even says wiggling his eyebrows.

Isak huffs and answers: "Maybe I will, just to check it out."

Even tickles his sides making Isak giggle and crawl over to Even. He brushes Isak's nose with his own causing Isak chase his lips a little before wrapping his arms around him and pulling him into a kiss.

Even's stomach betrays him by growling making Isak pull back and before Even has time to react he's on his feet, holding out his hand and saying:

"Come on boyfriend, I'm gonna make sandwiches for us."

Even stands up, takes his hand and smiles:

"Okay. When you ask so nicely. Boyfriend."

Even's been working a few hours when he sees Isak in front of him. Seeing him makes him all giddy and those butterflies in his stomach are back again, spreading the warm feeling with their somersaults.

"Hi", Isak says smiling and lifts his eyebrows when he says:

"I heard coffee hear is… hot."

For fuck's sake Isak is irresistible and he must know it. Even looks at him intensely and answers with a teasing smile:

"Hmmm, I could try to make it extra… hot."

It makes Isak burst out laughing and fuck he's cute with his dimples and smiling eyes. Then he collects himself and whispers to Even:

"I like hot."

"Could I have hot coffee too?" Asks a too familiar voice.

Even counts on three before lifting his eyes and smiling:

"Hi mum."

If his own cheeks are burning it's nothing compared to Isak. He looks at Even with wide eyes and Even can't help a chuckle escaping.

His mum has a way too bright smile on her face when she says: "I came to say hello, you remember me and dad are leaving to our cabin for two weeks honey?"

Even nods and kisses her cheek before saying:

"Mum, this is my Isak… I mean Isak. This is Isak."

Fuck. He glances Isak and he's grinning so wide Even huffs and continues:

"Isak, this is my mum, Sigrid."

"Nice to meet you," Isak says stretching his hand.

Even looks at his mum taking Isak's hand in her own and sighs when she blurts:

"Hi sweetheart, no wonder my boy has been walking his head in the clouds lately."

Isak huffs and glances Even, smiling with his eyes. Even groans amused and says:

"Now you know from where i've inherited this tendency to just blurt out things without any filter."

Isak chuckles and says: "I don't mind."

Even glances his mum and she mouths at him: "so sweet", and Even nods smiling, there's no reason for denying it.

Even brings them their coffees and his mum says:

"Thanks honey, I have to go now. It was so nice to meet you Isak, wishing to see you again soon."

Isak just smiles and nods. When she's gone Even sighs out loud and Isak chuckles:

"Your mum is cool."

"Uhhuu, she kinda is, although a bit overwhelming sometimes."

"I like her", Isak says and Even can't help smiling when he says:

"Well, she already thinks you are sweet. Her words, although I fully agree."

Isak huffs pleased and takes his coffee when he notices there are new customers coming and says:

"I'm gonna let you work and try to make some progress with my assignment."

Even nods smiling and greets the next customer.

When there are moments between customers he can't help glancing Isak, looking so concentrated, his laptop in front of him. Sometimes though when he looks at him, their eyes meet and they share smiles, such fond smiles, Even feels it in his stomach, warm and settling.

After some time, Isak gathers his stuff and walks over to him and says: "Gotta go, I need to finish this tonight, I have work tomorrow after classes."

"Okay", Even says and continues: I'm glad you stopped by, I like it... when you're around."

He feels Isak's hand brushing his own gently and Even chases the touch, letting their little fingers intertwine. When he lifts his eyes from their hands, Isak says gently:

"Me too."

It's a new week and on Mondays his classes are just before Isak's. When he's about to walk through the doors Mikael greets him and says:

"It's cancelled, the teacher is sick."

"Okay, wanna work with our project at the library?" Even asks.

"Sure."

They get quite much done and after almost two hours Mikael huffs:

"Come on Even, you keep glancing the time almost every minute now. We got so much done already. Just go to see your boy."

Is he really that obvious? Fuck it, he totally is. He smiles at Mikael when he stands up and says:

"See you in the next class."

"Don't be late", Mikael shouts after him smile on his face.

Even huffs and waves at him.

When he enters the classroom, Isak is just opening his backpack and when he sees Even he smiles. Even walks over to him quickly and stops just in front of him. This is still new, he's not sure if he wants to be kissed in public. So he takes his hands in his own carefully and looks at him. Isak has a smile on his face when he glances their joined hands and then Even.

"Hi", Even says and Isak answers just the same, a tender "Hi".

"My classes got cancelled ", Even says and Isak nods and says:

"You are still here."

"Yeah", Even answers and blurts: "I really want to kiss you."

Isak's eyes turn soft and hooded but Even wants to make sure it's okay:

"Can I? I get it if you don't want-"

"Please do", Isak says and tilts his chin up.

And Even kisses him, pulling him closer gently by his waist and he's being kissed as well, Isak's hands in his hair, his fingers grabbing his locks gently. And it's just them, and Even gets what Isak means by crossing the universes, forgetting the time and place. This is them and them only at this very moment of their own, inside this kiss.

When they finally pull back it's impossible not to smile. Isak presses his forehead against Even's and brushes their noses together. Who would have thought it was a thing. Well, it's their thing already.

"Shit I have such a long day today", Isak sighs.

Even lifts his chin carefully with his fingertips and asks:

"Wanna come over after work, I could make something to eat? But I get it if you are too tired."

Isak closes his eyes for the touch and hums:

"Yeah, sounds nice. Can I… Can I stay over?"

Even pecks him making him open his eyes. What a sight.

"Of course", he answers and Isak leans into a kiss.

There are people coming in and Even realises he's gonna be late. He's gonna get teasing grins from Mikael but it's totally worth it.

"I should go", he says and brushes Isak's fingers with his own.

"Yeah", Isak answers letting his fingers linger among Even's.

"See you in the evening."

"Yeah."

Even starts walking but just before the doors he glances back and smiles when Isak is looking back. Apparently it's their thing too.

In the evening, when they are lying on Even's bed, stomachs full and all cozy, Isak suddenly sits up and grabs his backpack from the floor.

"I need to check I took my notes for tomorrow's classes with me", he says while opening his backpack.

"Don't look, I'm so messy," he continues chuckling.

He's adorable, Even thinks, when Isak digs up papers and notebooks onto his bed, organising them in the process.

Then he stops to look at one of his notepapers and glances Even his mouth slightly ajar and eyes full of wonder.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" Even asks.

Isak lets him see the paper his holding and okay, some of his notepapers must have slipped among Isak's the day their stuff spread on the floor. It's the first sketch he drew of Isak, sitting on his seat, leaning on his hands eyes closed.

"You drew me?" Isak asks confused.

"Yeah", Even admits, not sure how Isak feels about it.

"You drew me", he repeats and when Even glances him, Isak is looking at him a tender smile on his face.

"Yeah", Even repeats fondly.

"Did you see me before the day you dropped your stuff on the floor?" Isak asks confused.

Even looks at the boy in front of him and says with overwhelming tenderness:

"I saw you the first day of semester. Coming to your class when I was leaving mine."

Isak looks a bit stunned when he mouths:

"Wow."

"Did you… Did you know it was me texting you?" Isak asks again.

"I wished it was you. And I tried to find courage to come talking to you. And then I dropped my stuff." Even explains looking at Isak carefully.

"I'm glad you did", Isak says with a crooked smile.

Even smiles back and can't help asking:

"Do you think there's an Isak and an Even texting with each other in parallel universes or just in this? Was it just a serendipity?"

Isak leans closer and caresses Even's lower lip with his fingertip making Even chase that gentle touch. Then he answers looking so so fond:

"I don't know about that but I'm sure there are infinite universes in which they meet one way or another."

Even hums against Isak's fingertips before they are replaced by his lips, coaxing a pleased sigh out of him. He pulls Isak with him and they end up lying on bed again, Isak on top of him and they kiss and kiss, so long their lips are tingling and then some more.

Isak is lying next to him, his head against Even's chest, playing with his fingers when he says:

"I wanna be a good boyfriend. I've never had one before though."

And Even melts. This boy. He brushes Isak's hair when he listens him continuing:

"I've been concentrating on school to get good grades in order to get the chance to study what I really want. And then there are these things with my parents and I guess I've kinda not felt safe enough to feel, at least this way before. With you though, I feel safe to feel."

Even squeezes him closer and says:

"Well, I've never had an Isak before. I have had a girlfriend but I've never been with you before, and I've never felt this way. So this is new to me too. I really wanna be a good boyfriend, I do. So much. I promise to try my best."

Isak lifts his head and smiles when he says:

"We are sappy boyfriends."

Even loves the sound of that and repeats:

"We are boyfriends."

Isak chuckles and says before melting against him again:

"The masters of being boyfriends."

Even chuckles in Isak's hair and breathes him in while Isak says:

"Good night Even."

"Good night Isak."

Chapter Text

Usually the sound of his alarm going off makes Isak groan but this time it's silenced before he fully wakes up. Instead of that, he gets to wake up gradually, tender fingers combing his hair, then those featherlight caresses moving towards his eyebrows and Isak smiles already even though he keeps his eyes still closed.

Even's fingertips are so gentle when they move to his eyelids making Isak flutter his lashes automatically. Then those touches start to trace his smile, lingering in the corner of his lips and Isak really wants to see now.

So he slowly opens his eyes and drowns immediately in those soft blue pools. Even is looking right into his eyes and wears a bright smile on his lips. Blinding, illegally blinding, Isak thinks and sighs:

"Good morning."

Even pecks the tip of his nose before brushing it with his own and mumbles against his cheek:

"Good morning."

Isak lifts his hands to caress Even's cheeks and is rewarded by a soft smile before their lips meet connecting their smiles. It's just a little kiss yet holding such tenderness it makes him close his eyes for a moment.

Even kisses his closed eyelids and who does things like that? It's something he never realised was a thing but with Even he's being showered with those little gestures so gentle, which to be fair, aren't that little at all when it comes to the way his chest aches for them now. In a good way though, so good.

"Wanna take a shower before your classes? I can make coffee in the meantime." Even says while massaging his temples gently making Isak all mellow.

"Yeah sure, thanks", he answers and is suddenly a bit emotional. It's been a while since someone has done something like that for him. Little things making him feel, well, like he's being cared about.

He kisses Even softly, letting his lips linger on his before pulling back and getting up. Even follows him and gives him a towel from his wardrobe. Then he hesitates before saying with a coy smile:

"I don't have a spare toothbrush but you.. you can borrow mine if you want."

Isak nods, he forgot to take his own with him let alone by a new one. He can't help smiling and when he glances Even, he's smiling too and it does things to Isak's heart, these smiles shared so effortlessly.

After showering he goes to the bedroom and realises he didn't remember to take clean clothes either. He just came over to Even's right after work not thinking about things like that. Fuck. His t-shirt is quite okay but his hoodie has spots on it, it'll just have to do for his earlier classes, maybe he could sit through them with his jacket on.

He sighs and rubs his hair dry with the towel and when he glances the bed, he sees folded clothes on it, t-shirt, hoodie and boxers. Did he really leave them for him? Is it too embarrassing if he puts them on without asking? What If he didn't mean Isak to wear them?

He walks over to the bed and brushes the hoodie. So soft. Then without thinking he lifts it on his face and takes in the scent. Fuck it.

When he enters the kitchen, Even turns to look at him and how is it legal to look so fond, it makes Isak's heart clench. He leans against the doorframe putting his hands in the pockets of Even's hoodie and before he has time to say a thing Even says:

"Good, you found the clothes."

Isak exhales relieved and somehow touched, they were really meant for him.

Even brings him a mug of steaming coffee and says:

"Sorry the hoodie is kinda half clean, I wore it yesterday and lets just say I sometimes forget laundry and it was the cleanest I got."

Isak just smiles, he really likes how soft it is and being surrounded by the scent of Even doesn't hurt either. He takes the mug and says:

"It's more than okay, thanks."

They sit down to eat, Even giving him a plate with scrambled eggs and it's cozy like this, these mundane things being everything but when being shared. Isak glances the clock and sighs:

"I gotta go. Do you have classes today?"

"Yeah, later. Mikael comes over before that, we gotta work on our project a bit."

Isak nods smiling and says:

"Thanks for the food."

Then he kisses Even's cheek and puts their dishes in the sink. He starts to clean them while Even stands up too and soon Isak's being hugged from behind. He leans on Even a bit after rinsing their plates and Even kisses his earlobe making Isak giggle.

"You didn't have to", Even murmurs into his ear making Isak turn his head in order to look at him when he says:

"I know."

Then he pecks Even's lips and adds:

"I wanted to."

Even walks with him to the door and takes his hands in his own, a gesture that makes Isak glance their joined hands every time. They look good together, their fingers intertwined, like they belong that way.

Isak lifts his eyes and tilts his chin up as a silent ask. And Even answers like every time, bringing his lips on Isak's and then there are asks and answers so many it's easy to drown in them, in those kisses they both ask and give.

"I need to go", Isak mumbles against Even's lips and gets a gentle peck in return before Even pulls back and nods. He lets go of Isak's hands making Isak willing to be close again. So he leans on Even and kisses his jaw and says:

"Bye then."

Isak feels Even's lips on his hair when he echoes his words:

"Bye then."

On his way to uni, Isak's phone buzzes. He smiles when he notices it's Jonas:

'How's it going?'

Then there's a next one:

'Are you free on the weekend? Gonna visit home'

Isak types all smiling:

'Cool. Saturday morning work, otherwise free'

'Sweet'

Isak wants to tell him so he does:

'Actually there's someone I'd like you to meet'

'Cool. New friend from uni?'

Isak's all giddy and a bit nervous when he types the word for the first time ever:

'Boyfriend'

'Whaattt? So fucking cool. When what who?'

Isak huffs and wishes he could see Jonas while answering:

'Haha. His name is Even. I think you're gonna like him'

'You like him?'

'I really do'

'Then I'm sure I will'

Fuck he misses Jonas. He sends a simple:

'<3'

There's an answer immediately:

'<3'

Isak leans on his seat, eyes closed, waiting for his class to start and pulls up his collar unconsciously breathing in the scent of a boy, Even, his boyfriend.

Then he hears someone sitting next to him and he opens his eyes.

"Hi"

It's Aksel, from his course.

"Hi", Isak says smiling. He's quite nice, even though they haven't talked that much yet.

"I was thinking, could you show me notes from the last Friday, I got sick and yeah, I wish to catch up."

"Sure", Isak says and opens his notebook. The drawing is on the top of his papers and he moves it gently in order to find the right page.

Aksel glances the drawing and Isak smiles when he hands over the notes.

"Thanks man, really." Aksel says and starts to write them down. Then he glances Isak and smiles when he says:

"Pretty good sketch of you."

"Yeah", Isak chuckles. He brushes the drawing gently.

"Do you have a secret admirer?"

Isak huffs and answers:

"Not so secret anymore."

"Yeah?"

Apparently today he gets to use the word even more, he thinks when he looks at the drawing and says:

"Yeah. It's.. It's from my boyfriend."

Then he glances Aksel and he's looking back at him smiling:

"Ah, cool. He's talented."

"Yeah." My talented boyfriend he adds in his mind.

"Wanna grab coffee sometime? It's on me." Aksel asks while copying the notes.

"Sure", Isak smiles and checks up his phone. There are two messages from Even:

'Miss you'

'Mikael keeps teasing me about not concentrating enough. It's your fault'

Isak almost scoffs when he answers:

'My fault? Excuse me'

'Well, I kinda borrowed your t-shirt'

'Kinda?'

'Yeah, I just happened to pick it up from the chair YOU left it on and now I'm all surrounded by your smell'

Isak huffs and types:

'Smell?'

'Okay okay your perfect boyfriend scent'

Isak chuckles while answering:

'You are such a dork'

'You like it'

'<3'

'<3'

'And I miss you too'

After his afternoon classes Isak's heading to see his mum to the cafe they use to go. She's already there when Isak arrives. She always is, early just like Isak. It makes him smile, the thing they share, the thing he's learnt from his mum.

She smiles when she sees Isak and Isak goes for a quick hug before sitting down. She has coffee for them already and Isak sips it carefully this time. It's just right, not too hot anymore. He thinks about Even automatically and can't help a smile appearing.

"You look happy", she says a smile playing in the corner of her lips.

Isak looks at her, looking so happy for seeing him smile so he just says:

"I am."

"Uni going well?"

"Yeah, it's okay."

"You've always been so bright."

It's silly but it makes him feel all warm, his mum smiling and saying nice things like that so casually.

Then he notices her looking at him behind her cup with a playful smile.

Isak raises his brows smiling and finally asks:

"What? Is there something on my face?"

"You just smile so much. I like it. Any particular reason for your smiles?" She asks and raises her brows right back at him.

Isak huffs and answers:

"Maybe."

"Okay", she just says and keeps smiling but lets it go, Isak knows she doesn't wanna pressure him too much. But the thing is, Isak is happy and he wants to share it with her. So he just says:

"Mum?"

"Yes?"

"I've met someone."

"That's so lovely."

The look in her mother's eyes is so fond Isak allows himself to just let it out:

"I really like him."

He feels her squeezing his hand gently and Isak lifts his eyes to look at her. She really looks at him, with a tender gaze and watery eyes. And that look tells more than any words ever could. It says 'I see you and I love you. No matter what'. Isak squeezes back.

And what if he needs to clear his throat and blink his eyes when he hugs his mother goodbye. Fuck it if it feels this good.

Even said he has an exam tomorrow so they agreed to stay in their own apartments tonight. Isak smiles when Even sends him a picture of notes on his bed followed by a message:

'I'd prefer you being here instead'

'Really?'

'Fuck yes'

Isak takes a picture of the hoodie he's wearing, Even's one, and types:

'At least I have this keeping me warm'

He huffs when he sees the answer:

'Am I so replaceable?'

'Hmm. I don't know, this is a pretty nice hoodie after all', he answers and melts when he sees the answer:

'I'm nice too'

So he can't help answering:

'You are'

'Nicer than the hoodie?'

'The nicest'

'<3'

'<3'

Isak is all giddy when he sees the next one:

'I like how my clothes look on you'

He grins when he answers:

'So I can steal them in the future too?'

'I insist'

'Haha, now go and read!'

'Yes boyfriend'

'<3'

'<3'

After showering and eating Isak pulls Even's hoodie on again and starts to go through his own notes too. His phone buzzes and he smiles, thinking it's Even again. It's his dad instead:

'Hi Isak'

Another one:

'How are you?'

And then one more:

'Could we meet sometime soon, have dinner or so? We could ask mum too'

Isak sighs and answers:

'Busy with school and work'

Then he adds:

'I have a boyfriend'

His heart speeds up when he hears there's an answer:

'I would like to meet him too'

Isak exhales and types:

'I will ask him'

'Ok. Let me know'

Isak drops his phone on bed and lies on his back, looking at the ceiling for a while. His dad really tries but it's not that easy to just think everything's like it was before. It's not. He wouldn't even want things being same as before. There are a lot of things in his life making him happy. His friends and mum and... Even. Isak huffs when he catches himself smiling again. He's so gone already. He decides to take little steps at his own pace when it comes to his dad, when and if he wants it. This feels like a good start.

Before going to sleep he sends a message:

'Good night Even'

He smiles and closes his eyes after reading the answer:

'Good night Isak'

When arriving at his classes, Isak sees Even and his friend walking down the stairs. Even lifts his eyes and smiles that bright smile of his when seeing him. Isak has to remind himself there are others too, he just wants to rush towards him and feel that smile against his lips. But he settles for a smile. For now.

Isak sets his backpack on the desk and greets them:

"Hi."

Even walks over to him and his eyes are smiling when he looks at him fondly and says:

"Hi."

Then Even glances his friend and says:

"Isak, this is Mikael."

"Hi", Isak repeats and Mikael walks closer smiling:

"Hi Isak. Good to see you."

Mikael grins and bumps Even's shoulder while saying:

"So, he finally opened his mouth and came to talk with you?"

Isak huffs and answers:

"He did. Although his stuff dropping on the floor might have helped a little."

"Hey, I would have talked to you anyway", Even says with an amused voice but the look in his eyes is sincere.

Isak melts and answers:

"I'm happy you did."

"Took long enough, you did draw-" then Mikael stops and glances Even with an apologizing expression on his face.

"He knows", Even assures him smiling.

"You know about the drawings?" Mikael asks smiling.

What.

"There is more?" Isak can't help asking stunned.

Even looks down for a second and when he meets Isak's eyes again he looks a bit shy but mostly just so fond it makes his chest tighten. Then he admits with the most gentle voice:

"There is more."

Isak knows his eyes are exposing him, he just melts right in front of this boy, this remarkable boy.

Mikael glances him, then Even and sighs smiling:

"Whipped already, both of you. You are lucky you're so cute."

Isak huffs a bit flustered but the smile on Mikael's face is genuine when he says:

"See you around Isak", before walking away. And then it's just them. Isak and Even.

Isak steps closer to him and asks:

"Can I see them someday, those drawings?"

Even lifts his hand to caress the corner of his smile making Isak lean into the touch and says:

"Anytime baby."

Baby. Isak never knew he'd like to get used to that word.

When he opens his eyes, Even's face is so close, his eyes tender and lips curved into a soft smile. Now he's done with the waiting so he dives into those lips and that smile which tastes like sun and even better.

Even cups Isak's face in his hands and kisses back. Soft pecks turning into lingering kisses and between them Isak murmurs:

"Wanna come over to mine today?"

Soft kiss and one more before Even hums:

"Yeah."

They pull back a little from each other when the sounds of the people coming in break their bubble. Isak takes Even's hands in his and smiles again, he can't help it, their hands look so right together.

Even is looking at their hands too when he asks:

"What time are you ready? I could pick you up and we could go to yours together?"

"15.30."

"See you then", Even says squeezing his hands gently before letting go.

"Yeah", Isak smiles and looks at Even leaving. And waits. And yes, when having reached the doors, Even turns to look at him and smiles. It's their thing, Isak and Even looking at each other just before being out of each other's sight, making the time between their eyes meeting again as short as possible.

They haven't been walking long before it starts to rain and it's not just a little rain. It's pouring down so hard they get fully soaked in seconds. Even grabs his hand and pulls him under the nearest bus shelter and Isak can't help smiling when he looks at him, his hair all wet, almost fully covering his eyes.

Isak tries to brush them away gently with his both hands making Even close his eyes. He looks at the water drops falling along his face, takes in those lashes, now all wet, resting on his cheeks and fuck. He's beautiful.

Isak doesn't realise he's stopped caressing him before Even opens his eyes and looks at him smiling. And Isak just can't help it, he lets out a whimper before grabbing his collar and pulling him into a soft kiss. It's soft and tender, a kiss with wet lips on lips, tasting a bit like rain before it's being washed away by the taste of them.

As much as Isak would like to stay kissing Even like this, it's starting to get too cold with their wet clothes. Isak huffs when their lips are trembling against each other and pulls back. He notices it's still raining and grabs Even's hand saying:

"Let's go!"

And they run, hand in hand, laughing and almost tripping on the wet street. It's cold and wet and it should be awful, but with Even's hand in his and his laughter in his ear, Isak feels happy and free.

When they enter his apartment, they are still laughing and holding hands. Their clothes are dripping and Isak rushes to take his shoes and jacket off on his way to his bedroom. He hears Even's laugh behind him when he fights with stubborn, wet socks. Isak's shivering from cold and huffs with a shaky voice:

"Quick, quick, come here."

They crawl under the duvet with their t-shirts and underwear, still shivering. Even traps Isak's legs between his while Isak pulls him near, chest to chest and feels Even humming into his damp hair.

"You smell so nice", he hears him mumbling in his ear making Isak want to smell him too. So he does, buries his face in his neck, takes in the scent of him and rain, but mostly him. Isak brushes his nose against the damp, soft skin there and kisses the shell of his ear and whispers:

"You are nice too."

Isak feels Even's laughter vibrating against his neck and smiles. While he pulls back a little, his hands tug the hem of Even's shirt and he feels the skin of his lower back under his fingertips. His knuckles brush against the shirt and he states out loud:

"Your shirt is wet too."

He automatically starts to pull it off making Even lift his arms in order to get rid of it. It's not until he sees his hands on Even's chest, feeling the soft, warm skin underneath his palms that he lifts his eyes to look at him.

Even's eyes are tender yet vulnerable when he looks back at him. Isak feels Even's hands covering his while the look in his eyes says 'You can have just as much of me as you want, no more, no less.' And Isak knows he means more than just this moment. He can't take it, beautiful, kind Even not seeing how special he is.

As if Isak didn't want all that is him. As if this wasn't more than he ever dared to wish for.

So he kisses him, kisses his lips, then kisses their joined hands making Even's breath hitch. When Isak looks at him again his eyes are closed but lips parted. Even lets go of Isak's hands slowly and puts them on Isak's hips ever so carefully. He brushes the hem of his shirt and asks with a tender voice:

"Can I?"

Isak answers by lifting his arms and looking at him while doing so. Even's hands caress his sides all the way when he pulls his shirt off making him shiver but not from cold. Even still tries to soothe the goosebumps away with each soft caress along his chest, arms and shoulders.

Isak closes his eyes biting his lower lip but soon Even brushes it too with his fingertip making Isak let go of it and pressing his soft lips on his instead. Even caresses his face with his both hands, cupping his face while deepening the kiss. So sweet yet intimate it leaves him breathless.

Isak lets his hands find Even's back again, sliding them along his spine down to his lower back. He wants to be close, closer and pulls Even gently against him. Even whimpers into the kiss making Isak whimper too. When their lips part for a second Even still caresses his cheeks when he says:

"You are so beautiful."

"You are", Isak sighs because he needs to let him know, he wants him to hear it.

Even kisses him again, licking into his mouth with such tenderness it's almost too much with its devotion. Then he presses Isak closer again and Isak just lets go, lets all the feelings flood over him. He hears Even, the soft sighs between kisses, tastes him under his lips, feels all of him against him. When he pulls back a little in order to take him in with his eyes too it's so much it almost hurts, the way his senses are all filled with him, beautiful Even.

Isak grabs Even's hair gently between his fingers and sighs into his ear:

"Feels so good."

Even presses himself closer and lets out a broken "baby" before trembling against him taking Isak with him into the feeling of them, Isak and Even, just them, together. And at this very moment it's everything.

In the morning Isak hears his alarm going off but then it's gone again and he has tender fingers in his hair and soft lips brushing his temple. Even. Isak hums pleased and he can't help thinking how nowadays there are mornings when he smiles before even opening his eyes.

Isak wraps his arms around Even's neck and pulls him closer searching for his lips. Even chuckles and then Isak has his smile against his own melting their smiles into soft, lazy kisses.

When Isak finally opens his eyes he's dazzled immediately. Even's gaze is warm, his eyes so full of adoration it makes him mellow inside. Even keeps looking at him when he says with a silent, tender voice:

"I love you."

Isak knows things, he knows how Even said it because he wanted to, because he needed to say it out loud, acknowledge it and he wanted Isak to know. And knowing it makes Isak's heart skip a beat, it makes him wanna worship him and just start his days seeing those kind, beautiful eyes looking at him this way.

And Isak knows Even didn't say it for Isak saying it back, he doesn't expect him to say it yet. But the thing is, for a long time Isak's feelings have been like tight knots inside of him but not this one, this is easy, it's so easy to feel when he looks at this boy, his wonder. So he just lets it out while he reaches to caress his cheek:

"I love you."

And it feels just right.

Chapter Text

The spring semester is about to end, only a few days are left, and Isak is on his way to his classes. He stops when he sees a girl taking off the posters from the message board. He walks over to her quickly when she's just about to put that particular turquoise poster away and asks:

"I'm sorry but can I have that one?"

The girl glances him, then the poster and says with a confused smile:

"Sure."

Isak takes it carefully from her and smiles back:

"Thank you."

She gives him another smile before continuing clearing up the message board. Isak puts it in his folder, making sure it won't get crinkled before going to the classroom.

On his way home, Isak can't help thinking how much things have changed from the day when he saw the poster for the first time. And sometimes change is good but in this case it's more than good, it's beautiful. With Even.

Just the thought of him makes Isak smile. It's just that with Even he feels so at ease, even if it sometimes feels like his heart is bursting with tenderness, passion, care, all that is love, it's okay, it's safe to feel with him. Sometimes he looks at Even and when he looks back at him, touching him with his eyes so tenderly, Isak knows he's loved, so loved.

So what if their feelings are big and strong and flooding over sometimes, they have two hearts to store, share and cherish it, their love. Those feelings are channeled into lingering looks and deep kisses, touches caressing thoroughly, cuddles and them, intertwined with each other. And gradually, with every tender word and soothing touch they settle down into the exquisite knowledge lying underneath it all, they are safe, free and loved, Isak and Even, together.

At nights they share their fears and secrets and hopes, enveloped in their own safe haven, in each other's arms. Just there it's easy to be brave and vulnerable, to be themselves without any fear of not being accepted. Who knew how soft dimness could be, when they are lying in bed, their laced fingers against the pillow and their lips letting out the words they want to say. Isak remembers all those things said in the warmth under the blankets.

Sometimes it's just a whisper after a long silence, them almost fallen a sleep:

"Isak?"

Isak lifts his eyes to Even's, showing he's listening.

Even lets his other hand brush Isak's cheek when he says with a quiet voice:

"Thank you for asking."

"Hmm?"

"You never assume, you always ask. How I feel, I mean." Even continues blinking his eyes rapidly letting the moisture gather in the corners of his eyes.

It's Isak's turn to caress Even's face, brushing his cheekbone ever so gently with his fingertips when he says with the most sincere voice he can:

"Only you can feel what you feel baby. I can only ask to share it with you if you want."

And Even smiles, even in the darkness it's breathtaking, he's breathtaking. He nuzzles his face against Isak's touch letting him catch the little stream of his tears into the palm of his hand.

Isak leans in to kiss Even's forehead before brushing it with his own, feeling Even's exhales against his lips.

There are confessions shared, although they don't feel like confessions at all, when all you receive back is the kindest looks and softest touches.

Isak loves it when Even rests his head against his stomach, nuzzling his face against the fabric of Isak's shirt, like searching for a place to hide. He's happily that place. At first he wondered, when Even was down, whether he wanted him close or not. He lied close to him watching him sleep, careful not to disturb his dreams. But now he knows because he has Even's words carefully saved in his heart:

"I just love it when you are near, even if not touching, just knowing you are near is good."

And Isak remembers his immediate answer too:

"I love being near to you."

There are also times when Isak is so thankful they don't always need words, that somehow Even gets what he means from those few words he gives. He wants to be good, he really really does, a good student, a good son, wishing his parents would be proud. And when things are piling up he gets frustrated and a bit absent due to his exams and temporary insomnia. But suddenly in the middle of it all, he realises what he especially wants to be, a good boyfriend. Like Even, patient and kind Even, his Even.

Even who understands when Isak whispers just "Thank you" in the crook of his neck, squeezing Isak tighter against him. Isak pulls back a little and looks at him, trying to tell everything with his eyes when words are betraying him. What he wants to say is 'I just wanna be loved, thank you for loving me the way you do'. And Even knows, he just knows, kissing Isak's lips with such tenderness it's impossible not to feel loved, thoroughly loved.

And yeah, Isak can't help smiling fondly at the memory of that one night, them still catching their breath, skin all rosy from all that loving. Him looking at Even while Even's fingertips keep caressing his eyebrow and temple over and over again.

And Isak knows before Even says it, knows because those soft eyes are giving him away. Even is about to say something so outrageously sweet it's going to leave him out of breath. So he faces it with its full force by keeping his eyes on him when Even finally mouths the words:

"I just love it baby, the way you hold me when we make love. It.. I feel safe to let go when you hold me like that."

Yep. Isak blinks. And then blinks again and finally whispers:

"I feel safe to let go when I'm with you."

And Isak means it, not just trying to assure Even, he truly means it. Even is his rock, in his embrace he feels he's in the safest place on earth.

Finally, Isak thinks when he's climbing the stairs, almost running now simultaneously fishing his keys from his backpack. He opens the door and asks smiling:

"Baby?"

Yes, after months of constant sleepovers they decided to move in together because, well, they wanted to. It felt just right, feels so right.

"I'm here babe!", Even shouts.

Isak drops his backpack on the floor and walks further into their home. And there he is, in their bedroom, in the middle of unpacked boxes, his real home. Even.

Isak tilts his head to the side and takes in the sight in front of him. Even is folding their clothes into the wardrobe and Isak can't help smiling when he realises there isn't separate shelves for their clothes when it comes to shirts. He huffs. As if they hadn't been sharing them right from the beginning, as if Even wasn't wearing one of Isak's oldest t-shirts right now.

He wants to tease him though:

"So… Are you stealing my shirts?"

Even looks at him lifting his brows and says with a smile in his voice:

"Hmm. Is that shirt on you the one I got from my mother last christmas?"

Isak bites his lip trying to swallow his laughter and glares at Even with a feign dismay before saying:

"I think I have evidence in our chat of you giving me all rights to your shirts. Are you taking your words back?"

Even huffs and closes the distance between them, brushing his forehead against Isak's, then rubbing their noses together and sighs with the fondest voice:

"Never."

Isak wraps his arms around Even's neck gently, pulling him closer while Even continues talking against his lips:

"Honestly I wouldn't even know which are yours and which are mine anymore."

Isak smiles and pecks Even's lips before saying:

"They are ours."

"Ours", Even repeats before kissing Isak properly, letting his tongue caress Isak's lower lip. Isak parts his lips and kisses back, letting his fingers curl around Even's hair and there it is, that soft sigh Even lets out into their kiss, the one Isak so very much adores.

When they finally pull back a little, Isak remembers the poster. He smiles and glances Even before going to their hallway. He takes the folder and walks over to Even again. Even looks curious and Isak can't help pecking his nose before showing it to him, their poster.

Even looks at it, then Isak and he has that look in his eyes, the look that is just pure love making Isak's heart clench. Even takes the poster gently and grabs tape from the desk. Then he glances Isak like asking for his opinion and yeah, of course, so Isak nods. Even smiles at him before sticking up the poster to the door of their wardrobe.

Even wraps his arm around Isak's waist and Isak leans against his side, snuggling closer. They look at the poster for a while, Isak takes in the words which caught his attention on that autumn day months ago. 'You are not alone'. And he definitely knows it, he's not alone, Even is not alone, of a multitude of possibilities they found each other. It's Isak and Even, Even and Isak, together, and they are home.