Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was too late. Too late to leave the milk bottles out; too late to water the plants; too late to reasonably do anything. But even when it's late, late at night, it’s never too late for a weathered shepherd to swaddle his body with a quilt and rest his head.

Unfortunately, neither can calamity be late when it decides to rear its head.

Late into the night - nearly morning, the sound of baaing and braying shrieks filled the countryside air. It was a horrific sound, a choir of ovine cries.

Eschewing his quilt, the shepherd bolted through the door and tore for the hills, hearing the sound easily, even with his sleepy ears. His feet quickly brought him up over them, where he faced an even more horrific sight: Dozens of sheep, all in their death throes. Their woolly bodies writhed helplessly as they screamed. 

It was still dark, but not too dark that he couldn’t see the way the winding silhouettes of long-bodied creatures glistened like glass in the moonlight. The beasts hissed with a cacophony of their own, spewing a wash of spit with a heavy, rattling breath. They pounced on the sheep, crawling over their thrashing forms as they dragged what they could of the weakened or dead away. It was as if roots tore from the earth to grab what they could, only for everything to die at the touch and melt in its grasp. 

It was something straight out of a nightmare. 

So horrified, so distraught the shepherd was, he ran away as soon as his feet functioned again. 

He ran, and did not look back, not even when he reached the Blustergas household. He knocked upon the door with banging fists. After a moment of waiting, a figure opened the door: Mr. Len Blustergas, the house owner and town mayor, stood with an oil lamp in his hand and a sleeping cap on his head. The burning oil and the walrus mustache was a beacon in this horrid dream.

The Mayor took in his ashen face and harsh breaths and immediately ushered him in.

“My good cap, what has happened? Why are you up? What’s wrong?” The Mayor gently questioned him as his wife trotted down the stairs. Mrs. Blustergas’ beady peepers widened at the sight in their living room, and made for the kitchen to prepare tea as the couple worked to ease the distressed cappy. 

So shaken was the shepherd, that he didn’t reply until an hour had passed, whereupon he muttered something about the sheep. The Mayor asked if he had had a nightmare. 

“No…” he replied, slowly shaking his head. “It was too real to be a nightmare - something has happened to the sheep.” The shepherd shuddered.

“Mack, something happened to the flock?” Hana worriedly warbled.

“My sheep… what has happened to them?” Wondered the Mayor.

Mack was silent. It was almost too horrible to describe, but he managed to choke out a description of what happened.

“They wasted away… in seconds, they melted like ice, and their remains were dragged away! The screams…” the shepherd went silent again.

“I expect my shepherds to handle many things,” The Mayor said “But I would ask no cappy to live through such a tale.”

—————— ( ouo)/) ~* ——————

Early in the morning, a certain very small, very cute, very pink, very round, but most of all, very hungry small cute pink round batamon awoke.

His name was Kirby and he had a feeling that today was going to be wonderful. (Even if it’s just a Tuesday, it’s still a day unlike any other: not a Sunday; not a Thursday, but a Tuesday!) It was just a feeling he got, smiling up at his aunts as they greeted him with three pleased “Good morning Kirby!”’s.

Maybe that feeling was because just now, he decided he’d really like a tomato. And not just any tomato; a maxim tomato! A maximato!!!

Kirby, as always, said hello back to his aunts, hoping they wouldn’t notice that he went a bit quicker than he usually did.

He had food on the mind.

Rushing out the double-hung door as soon as it was polite, Kirby made his way down the path that wrapped around his home and led to Cappy Town. Though hungry, he did slow down to enjoy the scenery. Having a house next to the beach really was wonderful! He didn’t even need to make sandcastles, since his house had a castle for a hat! But, that didn’t mean he couldn’t make one every Sunday.

Kirby eventually found himself at the familiar door to the local convenience store. Opening the door, he was greeted with the sight and smell of food. 

Cakes can be a little slice of heaven, so what does that make the place with the stuff for the cake? In Kirby’s opinion, it made it the entirety of heaven. But, as much as he enjoyed cake (especially strawberry shortcake), Kirby was here for tomatoes. A healthy boy eats his fruits and veggies, after all.

Wandering the aisles, however, Kirby was unable to find the fabled fruit.

Where was it? This was the produce section, wasn’t it? Kirby checked. Yes, those were fruits and veggies - but no tomatoes - maxim or otherwise.

“G’mornin, Kirby! Need help lookin for somethin?”

The pink, round batamon turned to the voice, finding Tuggle. It was Tuggle’s store after all. 

“Mornin!” Kirby chirped, giving another Tuesday morning smile, “Maximato, please!”

The grocer’s brows slumped together like a confused rice dumping. “Kirby, tomatoes have been out of season for about two weeks now. Are you already out?”

Kirby’s cobalt blue eyes clouded over as his gaze drifted across the open, tomato-less store. That’s when Kirby realized today wasn’t just a Tuesday: today was also an October. October was full of crunchy leaves and pumpkins, but not juicy tomatoes.

No tomatoes... 

No maximatos…  

No reason to go on, I guess.

Kirby’s body, empty with emptiness, rent itself to the ground. It was with this dull perspective he realized his mouth would be as dry and flavorless as the lacquered wood floor he was now face down in. ‘ Is this where I die?’ He thought, ‘ On this floor that isn’t even a good kind of sour?’

“Kirby, what are you doing? You’re drooling all over my floor!”

Scolding himself, he closed his mouth as his eyes started to water, “Leave me to die! ”

“I can’t have you dying in my store, no one will come in it again!” Tuggle protested, hesitating to pick the pink child off his floor. “I have to sell my stock of Hallowe’en candy before it goes bad!”

Candy. The word rang in his head. There is hope.

In the end, Kirby went home with a small bag of candy, but a distinct lack of tomatoes. 

He wasn’t ungrateful or anything! It was candy! But it just wasn’t tomatoes.

As Kirby toddled home, he heard some villagers mentioning something about sheep, but he was too stuck in his disappointment to pay it any mind.

—————— ( ouo)/) ~* ——————

Kirby sadly opened the double-hung door to the beach house. As always, he had to stand on his very tiptoes in order to reach even the lower handle, but he opened the bottom segment with practiced ease. Walking into the open room, Kirby was fully prepared to stew in bed and snack on bits of consolation candy under his covers when his vigilance halted him from bumping into a platinum white bush of hair standing just feet from the door.

“See? Back ‘cause he left on an empty tank.” The bush’s hand gestured to Kirby, and the bush turned to face him with the chipper appearance of a short, purple woman in a mauve tank top: his aunt, Amethyst.

“What’s up, little dude?” His aunt’s plump lips and round nose stretched and elongated into a drooping equine muzzle. “Got the long face because you forgot to hit the trough?”

Normally, the silly sight would have Kirby giggling, especially with how she proceeded to snort and whinny like the animal she was emulating, but Kirby just looked up at her, tearfully.

“No tomatoes…” he whined, his quiet, pitiful words barely sounding out past the tied pouch of hard candies in his paws.

“Sorry, but what was that?” A patient voice rang out from the kitchen.

Looking past Amethyst, Kirby saw two others at the counter, both easily more than twice his side. One was lithe and pale, looking over her birdish nose and watching him with motherly audience; the other was curvaceous and tanned ruddy, with her coppery visor centered towards him as well. These two were Pearl and Garnet, the certainly taller of Kirby’s aunts.

“He couldn’t find any tomatoes at the store.” Garnet spoke, her cubic, black perm swishing lightly as she tilted to address Pearl. Pearl often had the answer for things; when she didn’t, Garnet somehow did.

“Kirby,” Pearl said, “Didn’t you know? We bought the last of the season's maxim tomatoes the other week!” She looked confused.

“Yeah dude, they’re in the fridge — saved ‘em for you!” Amethyst chimed in, using her disappearing muzzle to gesture to the said appliance.

Kirby’s eyes widened. Abandoning the bag of candy, he rushed over to the fridge and flung open the door.

Inside, there was a bowl of maxim tomatoes, right on the bottom shelf! Maximatoes to the max!

They looked plump and juicy and perfectly ripe!

God exists, and He works in mysterious ways… and those ways are often mistaken for a vegetable.

Kirby had to restrain himself from inhaling them all — instead he grabbed the bowl, closed the fridge, and took a bite of the biggest, juiciest looking maximato. He may have even gotten the giant letter ‘M’ sticker in its entirety.

It burst in his mouth as his tiny fangs pierced it.

It. Was. Heaven.

Kirby squealed at the sweet, savory flavor. He turned to his trio of aunts with a mouthful of fruit and newer, happier tears in his eyes. 

“F’anku!” He warbled. 

Garnet smiled at the sight of his adorable gratitude. But Pearl, she admonished him for speaking with his mouth full. 

“Now, Kirby, remember your manners! It is unsightly when you talk with food in your mouth…” She shuddered, pulling a handkerchief from the glowing cabochon and namesake embedded in her forehead.

Before his aunt could kneel down with her infamous fabric square in hand, Kirby gulped down the savory mouthful before speaking again.

“Thank you!” He said, clearer and with a wide, open-mouthed smile. 

His tiny fangs glittered in the morning light, but not nearly as bright as the gemstone that was his tongue.

Especially since said gemstone began to glow! 

Kirby, eyes closed in happiness, did not notice until his aunts made various noises of shock, whereupon his eyes flew open and he went cross-eyed looking for the source of the light.

Before he could “poyo” in surprise, there was a pop as the pink light coalesced into a form; a bright, shining shield!

All four members of the house stared in shock. 

The shield, decorated with lovely spirals of rose petals and thorns dropped gently to the floor, making a soft sound against the wooden boards.

Pearl’s eyes glistened as she choked out a cry of “Rose’s shield! Oh my stars!”

“Sweet!” Amethyst blurted. 

Garnet smiled widely. “I had a feeling that would happen.”

Kirby gaped at the shield at his feet, tomatoes mostly forgotten. Setting down the bowl on the floor, he picked it up.

It felt warm in his paws, like sunlight. Or starlight. Or maybe, a mother’s kiss? (Motherlight?)

His eyes twinkled with happiness.

“Wow!” He cried, awed by it. 

He brandished it for a moment, trying out various poses. Garnet clapped appreciatively.

After a moment, however, the shield burst into a cloud of pink sparkles, disappearing completely.

“No…” Kirby pouted.

“Hey, that was wicked, lil man!” Amethyst cried, giving Kirby a hearty pat on the back. Any plans for a second pat died quickly when he looked up at her, still frowning. “Don’t sweat it not lasting long,” she said, guessing Kirby’s insecurities. “You’ll figure it out!”

“The fact that you have successfully summoned a weapon — even for a moment — is a sign of great improvement.” Garnet stated.

Kirby still looked somewhat disheartened.

“Dad wasn’t here to see.”

Realization dawned on his aunts’ faces. For the whole spectacle, Kirby’s father was nowhere to be seen; he never even returned home last night, as he was stuck again with attendance in the king’s kangaroo court. Pearl knelt down to reach some semblance of his level, cupping his cheek in her handkerchief-draped hand. The soft fabric square brushed up against his fine pelt, gently wiping away tears (and tomato stains) from his face.

“While he wasn’t here for your first summon, I know he’ll be there to help you master it; we all will.”

That reassurance did it’s job, and a small crescent returned to Kirby’s lips. After twice folding the dirtied handkerchief, Pearl gave a bright smile of her own accompanied by a soft, succinct clap of her hands. “Regardless, I think this calls for a celebration; don’t you think so?”

“Yeah! I’ll go get ol’ M.K, and we can all drop by Kawasaki’s.” Amethyst proposed, her platinum hair adopting a slight feathery appearance.

Like a dog asked if they want to go on walkies, Kirby immediately perked up.

Kawasaki’s? With Dad? Of course!

With the squeal of an excited child, the screen door’s bottom half swung open like a sideways cat flap. 

“Wait, Kirby! Kirby, this is a family outing!”

—————— ( ouo)/) ~* ——————

As Kirby swung his feet back and forth, so did his thoughts intermittently swing around his head.

Edamame? Naw, that’s more a Monday appetizer; Tuesday is tsukumono or tsukudani… I'll have the tsukumone, if not, the tsukudani!... No! The other way around.

“Thinking about what you’ll order?” Garnet’s dulcet tone prodded from his right.

Looking up at the tall maroon woman he was holding the hand of, Kirby gave a gentle nod.

“It’s a good habit to plan things ahead.” Pearl praised from his left.

Refueled with encouragement, Kirby put more momentum into his aunts’ arm swing, thinking to the syncope of his swaying feet. 

‘Ahead’... the sun isn’t overhead; it’s still morning, so no big bowl dinners. Should anpans be the main course, or would rice and cold noodles be better? Crepes?

Kirby was pulled from his thoughts with a pair of “Morning, Kirby” from the passing cappy children, Iro and Honey. Kirby slipped his fingers from Garnet’s to wave at his friends… inadvertently pivoting along his shoulder, bumping into Pearl’s leg, and dropping to the ground.

“Ah! Kirby!” Pearl doted, “I know you’re eager, but please let us both know when you want down!”

The resilient Kirby hopped back to his feet, standing (a staggering 1 ft. 8 in.) tall on the cobblestone pathway… the cobblestone path right in front of Kawasaki’s! They were there!

Quickly rushing inside, eager to find a seat, he found that everywhere was vacant, except for one seat at a square table at the far side of the dinning area. 

On the short-legged chair sat a larger, blue batamon, draped with an indigo tailcoat of a cape with a tri-pointed collar, held to his spherical body by the spaulders fitted to his shoulders. Plated gloves and a silver mask and concealed his face and hands, revealing only the light of his eyes through a shadowed, chevron eyehole. Aside from the lavender owl roosting on his head, this was the unmistakable sight of Meta Knight, proud warrior and father. His father!

Kirby launched himself, nubby paws outstretched, into his father’s mass. Meta Knight remained unmoved and unsurprised by the sudden projectile, but the bird on his head squawked an alerted “Hey!” Landing on the floor, Amethyst’s feathers reverted to hair and she transformed back into her regular shape. “Watch it!”

“You know you should ask before you hug, Kirby.” The armored batamon’s rich, accented voice sounded. If there was any tone of disapproval at the impulsive action, it was never conveyed as he hugged his son back.

“Sorry!” Kirby distractedly said as he nuzzled into his father’s hold. That would likely be the best they would get from him at the moment, hyper as he was.

“I can’t fault your bleeding heart for loving your father.” Meta Knight said with amusement.

“A little bird told me that you displayed a new power today, Kirby.” Even though he was still wearing his mask, Kirby could tell that his father was smiling, both because of his voice and the joyful blue tone his normally gold eyes took.

Kirby beamed up at him. “Poyeah!”

“Well, after we order, would you care to tell me about it?” His father prompted. 

The pink batamon nodded, and parted from his father in order to take a seat.

The two tallest of the party squatted down onto a pair of inadequately-sized booths at the far side wall, closest to the table the three others sat at.

“Hey Saki-man!” Amethyst shouted into the kitchen once they were all settled.

Quickly, Kawasaki — the chef — came waddling up to the group. His orange face wore a dopey smile as he eagerly began to take their orders.

“Oh gosh, hello! What’s your orders, folks?” He happily questioned.

Garnet and Pearl passed on getting anything. Kawasaki was well accustomed to this, but still deflated slightly.

He promptly reinflated when coming to the table. All three were hearty eaters, and Kirby and Amethyst were frequent customers, so they were bound to make him money!

Kirby pointed with a fork to the menu, where it said “tsukudani”, and then to where it said “yakizakana”, his mouth already watering.

Amethyst closed her eyes, leaning back in her seat. “Just the usual!” With “the usual” being a bastardized imitation of cold soba consisting of a large plate of spaghetti topped with a little bit of every single spice in the spice drawer, and served with a cup of fryer grease.

Meta Knight simply ordered a breaded cutlet, and a stack of pancakes (with strawberries and whipped cream).

“Ah, good choices, good choices!” Kawasaki said. He swept away, apron swishing. 

“So,” Meta Knight began, “What was this new achievement of yours?”

Kirby set down his fork so he could gesture without stabbing someone. 

“I got a SHIELD!” He said, waving his arms in a circle to encapsulate it.

“A shield?” Meta Knight’s eyes gleamed. “What did it look like?”

“Roses!” Kirby simply explained.

“Hmm.” Meta Knight closed his eyes and leaned back in contemplation. “So that is another inheritance from your mother? It is a useful one to be sure.”

Kirby deflated slightly “But, it went away real quick…” 

“That is what training is for, Kirby. Training and time. With experience and age you will master this skill.” Meta Knight patiently explained. “When I was your age, I wasn’t even halfway through my sword training.”

The gems, who had been letting the two have their conversation, began to chime in.

“All you need is your gut!” Amethyst exclaimed.

“I’d say Kirby needs to keep patience in mind.“ Pearl countered.

“Inner peace is key.” Garnet stated simply.

Kirby’s eyes darted between them. 

“All good advice, but please don’t confuse Kirby.” Meta Knight said. 

Suddenly, they all heard a fearful warble from Chef Kawasaki — not from the kitchens, but from the restaurant’s entrance. The blustering, mustard orange culinist was dwarfed and pushed aside by the corpulent form striding through the slide door.

The intruder was flourished with a dark periwinkle plumage swaddled in a sandy and golden tunic combo held together by a waistband of zigging red and yellow triangles that wrapped their girth like a drum. A red, white-trimmed cloak draped their arms and back, with a matching gold-brimmed beanie atop his head. Underneath the egg-like emblem at their forehead, dull, blue eyes squinted in a scouring frenzy.

“There!” A golden-gloved mit pointed at Kirby from across the room, causing heads that were previously staring at the King to snap to the pink batamon. A sickly-lavender snail the size of the forlorn chef slithered up behind the loud blue bird, accompanied by a troop of little, round Waddle Dees that marched in with blank, monkeyish faces and spears thrice their height.

“Get ‘im! Dat dere Kirby’s the source of all dis! I’m bettin’ mah money he got yer sheep!” The big bird crowed.

Mayor Blustergas, who managed to shuffle his way through the Waddle Dees, squawked with surprise and disbelief. “Kirby? Pardon me, King Dedede, but are you, um… mistaken?” 

“Ah told ya, it’s ‘im! Who else got the power or appetite tah do all dat? Kirby a’ course!” The Penguin King insisted.

Duke Escargoon, ever loyal to the throne, was more than eager to bandwagon. “Yeah! Just look at him! He’s got this evil air about him! Sitting smugly!” The whiskered mollusk said from Dedede’s side, subtly shifting his shell to block the mayor’s path. 

Kirby blinked.

“Oh gimme a break…” Amethyst groaned, rolling her eyes. She was frankly up to Pearl’s hairline with Escargoon.

“Now hold on a second here,” Pearl strode from her seat to behind Kirby’s chair, subconsciously digging her fingers into the wooden backboard. “What exactly are you saying, your majesty?” 

“Ah’m sayin’ dat dere Kirby’s a mutton meltin’ murderer!” Dedede pointed again at the little pink puff. At the gesture, the Waddle Dees’ eager spears swayed forward like branches in the wind.

“What!” Pearl cried. She looked aghast at the concept.

“Wait, how did they get melted? ” Amethyst questioned.

“He regurgletated on ‘em! Obviously!” The king’s eyes rolled in exasperation.

““Regurgitated”, sire.” Escargoon corrected. 

Dedede promptly bonked the advisor on the scalp, caving his skulless head in. “Just get ‘im!”

The Waddle Dees poured through the restaurant, spears held high as they quickly surrounded the family at the table and started to push inward.

“Now hold on!” Pearl demanded. The Waddle Dees’ advance halted. “Kirby would never do that!”

“Yeah! There’s no way Kirbs did that!” Amethyst cried.

“It’s really unlikely.” Garnet added.

“Then who exactly did?” Escargoon said sceptically.

“Perhaps it would be wise to further investigate the scene of the crime.” Meta Knight calmly interjected. “Has anyone been there since the attack?” 

The Mayor twiddled his hands “Not exactly… Mack — the only witness — was so traumatized that we thought it was too dangerous to go.”

“Then the gems should investigate. We can all agree they are strong enough to handle whatever they may find, yes?” Meta Knight’s voice was steady and soothing to the ears of the nervous cappy.

“We’ll find the jerk who did this, and prove it totally wasn’t Kirby!” Amethyst shouted, pumping her fist. Her voice was grating and anxiety-inducing.

Dedede’s mouth opened, aimed to argue the purple lady, but Escargoon relented. “Fine! It’s your funeral!”

Dedede turned to him, snarling, but the snail turned and whispered into the king’s earhole. “Sire, if what killed the sheep manages to get the Gems, they’ll be out of our hair!”

After a moment was taken to process this, the king’s toothy beak began to grin triumphantly.

“Alright! Y’all go doin’ yer investigating, while Meta Knight here does his job and guards tha townies. Dere complaining, saying dat dey “don’t feel safe” or whateva! Chop chop!” the regent ordered.

The three colorful women all got up and left through the parting orange sea of Dees, off to start their investigation and clear their ward’s (flimsily) tarnished name. Garnet led the trio through the door, with Pearl and Amethyst giving one last scrutinizing glance at King Dedede as they left.

“My apologies, Kawasaki, but I’m afraid we have to cancel our order.” Meta Knight spoke as he headed to the sliding door with his confused pink duckling in tow.

“And Sir Meta Knight?” The King’s golden mit blocked the masked batamon’s path. “Be sure ta keep watch on ya boyyy… ya hear?”

“Certainly, Your Majesty.” Meta Knight said. “I have no opposition to doing so.”

And so, Meta Knight and Kirby accompanied the mayor in their quest to relieve the rustled townsfolk. As they walked down Cappy Town’s cobbled path, Kirby wondered over what in the world King Dedede was talking about that made everyone forget celebratory brunch...

—————— ( ouo)/) ~* ——————

Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst wound their way around the path that led through the Blustergas estate and through the hills where the sheep perished. As they passed the surviving flock, an unpleasant smell — like arid smoke and death — greeted them as they approached the scene.

“Ew.” Amethyst commented quietly.

Cresting over the hill, they looked down upon a sea of melted sheep parts. Wool, blood, bones, and flesh were scattered across the grass. It was a gruesome sight.

Pearl looked nauseous. “‘Ew’ is right…” her hands wrapped round and squeezed her beakish nose shut.

The three of them walked closer to inspect the massacre.

Garnet crouched in front of a pile of bones and gently nudged them. They crumbled, even at the light touch.

Pearl walked over to look at the remains. 

“Well, it certainly looks like a corrosive was the cause…” She commented. “This type of structural instability points to it, look at the marks left on the intact sections!”

Amethyst pointed out a particularly large patch of burnt grass. “Yeah, that’s definitely not from fire!”

Pearl turned to Garnet. “Have we encountered anything around here which uses strong acids or bases?”

“There was that sweaty lizard thing, remember?” Amethyst provided, “From the swamp with the mud monster?”

“The surviving flock.” Garnet interrupted. “They were closer a moment ago. They’ve run away.”

Suddenly, they heard a rattling hiss!

Turning to the source, they found behind them a large centipede as long as Garnet was tall. A verdant sheen marked the undersides of several dark olive segments as they disappeared into a bristly, cream-colored mane. Jutting from the center of the mane, blackened pincer-like jaws were held open, revealing a pool of chartreuse saliva and a bulging round eye in the throat. The insectoid monster reared up onto its hind sets of beetlish legs, letting out another hiss as spittle burnt holes into blades of grass.

The three sheep coroners adopted aggressive stances as more of the arthropedal creatures moved with a centipedal march and flanked the first’s sides. “Corrupted gems!” Pearl finally cried.

At her shout, the centipede-beetle hybrids lept into action, some scrambling directly for their targets with their many-legged, sinuous bodies, while the other half began to hiss louder as they welled up acid in their maws. The gemstones embedded in the bodies of the alert trio shone bright.

“Gems, dodge!” Garnet exclaimed. The glowing aura emitting from her palms seeped through her fingers and found physical form as bulking gauntlets that encased her fists. “They’re what burned through everything alright!”

The three dove into action, dodging the arc of the striking enemy. Pearl and Amethyst’s hands drew to the gems in their flesh, and pulled from their bright lights a glaive and whip respectively. Soon the battle was underway with a series of stabbing, slithering, snapping, strafing, spitting, smashing, and probably another alliterative action. More creatures poured from over the hills, attracted by the chaos. Their numbers were high, but the gems easily kept up, dodging the splatters of acid and snap of jaws as they responded with their own attacks. 

Garnet crushed their heads with ease between her two gauntlets, Amethyst kept them distant and distracted with her whip, and Pearl stabbed quickly at their vitals. When defeated, each monster popped in a poof of smoke and light. But, as the battle neared its end, something odd was noticed. 

“Hey!” Amethyst shouted to her friends after her whip popped a monster’s eye and rendered it to little, glittering nothings. “These centipede beetles, they’re poofing, but they aren’t dropping gems! What gives?”

“That’s odd!” Pearl said, flicking her wrist as a limp body slid off her spear and disappeared.

“Look!” Garnet exclaimed, drawing the other’s attention to the centipeetle locked in her grasp. The creature thrashed about, attempting to free itself from the fingers clamping around its shut mouth and midsection, as well the foot pinning its tail into the ground.

“Translucent, rough around the edges… these were just constructs.” She concluded before splitting its body over her knee. In the split-second of its remaining existence, the severed halves revealed a cloudy mass that faded in density towards the center. With that, the last of the constructs were poofed, leaving behind not a single gemstone in the surviving patches of grass.

The weary victors looked out on the wreckage. Some of the bones had been trampled, and weakened by the acid, had crumbled. Patches of grass were torn up by claws and others were burnt again. Surviving puffs of wool that had been flung into the air now settled.

“We’re going to have to find the projector.” Pearl announced after she brushed herself off. 

“Yeah, but where is she?” Amethyst questioned.

“We should look in the direction they dragged the bodies.” Garnet decided.

“That’s right,” Amethyst agreed, “They’re taking back the munchies for their momma!”

Pearl sighed, “Corrupted or not, I’ll never understand why a Gem would want to gorge themselves…”

Their next course of action decided, they began to track the remains of the sheep. They had disturbed them somewhat, but it was easy enough to find where they led.

Following the trail of entrails, wool, and burnt grass patches, the gems found themselves at the edge of a forest.

The dense woods prevented them from seeing where the rest of the trail led.

“She’s in there? How are we going to find her?” Amethyst asked.

“With politeness!” Pearl knocked gently on one of the trees.

Around a stubby stump of a branch, the tree’s bark parted to make three holes to a darker ring inside. The holes, glistening over with an amberish film of sap, make the perfect facsimile of a face. “Yes?” It intoned warily.

“Have you or the others seen any monsters about? Particularly large, green ones that resemble centipedes, about as long as we are tall?” Pearl questioned, gesturing between Garnet and herself.

“I’m right here.” Amethyst grumbled shortly.

The tree jolted, its autumnal leaves rustling. “Why yes! If you’ll glance at my roots,” it’s roots twitched, “I was just burned something awful by one of them this morning! Not to mention, one particularly large one indeed has been hiding out deeper inside, according to the others.” 

“Can you tell us where it is?” Pearl continued.

“No, I’m afraid it’s beyond the confines of the forest at the moment. We are unable to track it anymore beyond the fact it was last seen heading south.” The tree responded regretfully.

“Ah, dammit.” Amethyst pouted, slouching. 

“Don’t swear.” Pearl chided.

“Barely a swear…” The purple gem mumbled.

“It’s still impolite.” The tree argued.

“A direction did more than suffice. Thank you for the information.” Pearl said, turning back to the tree.

The tree nodded, canopy swaying. It’s face faded away, sealed again by bark.

“Alright, Crystal Gems; let’s go.” Garnet said. 

—————— ( ouo)/) ~* ——————

Kirby has spent a fair amount of his time with his father, and boy was he was grateful for that. There weren’t many times, however, that he could recall his father spending time with him during official work hours. He wasn’t sure how grateful he was for that, because honestly? Now might have been kind of boring. It might also be the lack of breakfast that spoiled his mood, though.

Meta Knight wasn’t the only member of the royal guard watching over Cappy Town today, as his uncles Sword and Blade were also watching over the townsfolk; the latter of which had brought bento boxes for him and Dad! So luckily, lunch wasn’t forgotten.

There was even more luck, as nothing monstrous had wandered into town (not counting King Dedede and Escargoon). Some of the cappies were still a bit on edge, but talk with the mayor was enough action for them.

“Mister Mayor! What happened to your sheep, is it handled?”

“I hope it is! I don’t want what ever did that going through my Nruff pens!”

“My chickens wouldn’t be able to handle the fright!”

“It’s okay! It’s okay, everyone!” The mayor assured, “King Dedede has assured me that he and his guard have the situation handled.”

“Watch it, Mayor!” The loitering Escargoon chided from the sidelines, “The king’s rightful pronouns are “de”, “dim”, and “dis”! If you want to keep your job, you will use them accordingly!”

“Oh! Uh, my apologies…” Blustergas nodded sheepishly, “The ding-- the king --de has things under control!”

“Yeah... his control. ” Gus muttered, only for a green whisker to brush his face. 

“Dis control, mechanic!”

Said mechanic jerked back, making a face at the close proximity of the snail.

Watching the display, Kirby began to doubt his previous assumption that whatever the townsfolk were scared of, it wasn’t the king and dis royal advisor romping through town. As he tried to recall the king’s opinions of sheep, he was pulled from his thoughts by the lack of rice between his chopsticks.

“Kirby?” Meta Knight called as he set his own empty bento beside him. “Amethyst didn’t mention what happened to the rest of the maximatoes. You didn’t get ahead of yourself, did you?”

Kirby nodded. “I just had one.”

“That’s good,” His father commended, grouping the empty bento boxes together. “But to be honest, I was hoping to ask if you were willing to share a couple of your tomatoes with me.”

Kirby, recalling the exact place on the counter where the bowl was left, gave a bright smile as he imagined them where he was right now. “Okay!”

Kirby hopped off the bench and sped off back to the house.

Looking back at the crowd, Meta Knight watched as the royal advisor decided to dedicate his idle time to berating a Waddle Dee on it's spear-handling technique. The poor thing looked used to it, unfortunately. And to be even more honest, the knight was used to Escargoon’s behavior too.

“‘What are you doing, Meta Knight?’” Meta Knight mimed in a dull, yet humored tone. “You were supposed to watch your son — king’s orders!’” 

He gave a small salute to the snail, who was preoccupied with nursing his thumb, recently and clumsily pricked on a spearhead.

“As you say, Escargoon.” He chuckled, excusing himself quietly as he followed after his son.

—————— ( ouo)/) ~* ——————

As experienced as the Crystal Gems were, monsters still sometimes got away from them. It was — as Amethyst would put it — a bummer every time they failed. Not just because of their own pride, but because of the fact that it endangered others; everything they vowed to protect. There the three were, feeling defeated as they followed a lost lead, trudging the thin eastern beach that led back to their home.

“There is only so much ‘south’ this thing could have gone.” Garnet grumbled as the three neared the end of the peninsula.

“Maybe it went into the ocean?” Pearl proposed, looking off into the waters lit a gentle salmon by the now-setting sun.

“Pfft! We’d have a bunch of fish floaters if it did.” Amethyst scoffed, grimly imagining a school of fish meeting the same fate as the Blustergas sheep.

“Such a dangerous gem shouldn’t be left unbubbled,” asserted Garnet. “We’re going to have to continue the search through the night.”  

“We could stay in the field, in case they go for the remaining sheep. Or maybe?...” Pearl pondered, “Garnet, back in the trees, could we have found some tracks?

“Maybe,” Garnet agreed, adjusting her visor. “Whatever you’re looking for, it’s always in the last place you look.”

“Well son of a bitch, why did that place have to be up there! ”

Garnet and Pearl’s heads turn to follow where Amethyst was pointing, meeting the top of the colossal sculpture that adorned their temple’s cliffside. Crawling across the sweeping stone hair of the statue, was a lengthy form that outmatched all the other centipeetles they had encountered.

It’s body stretched the length of the temple’s arm, and could’ve wrapped around it’s wrist thrice over. A ridge of translucent, lime facets lined the backs of the corrupted gem’s dozen segments, each hexagonal shape meters wide, and every leg rivaling Garnet’s in size.

The creamy mane that was a bristly shrub on the constructs was a wild, silky tree canopy on the original. The jagged trapjaw was large enough to hold five sheep in their entirety, but any such hypothetical sheep would’ve dissolved in seconds in her caustic drool. Luminescent green muscles and salivary glands lined the interior of the beak, drawing all the way into the back of the centipeetle’s gaping maw, where there was a single, giant, yellow-tinged eye with a beady green speck of a pupil flicking about.

She very quickly spotted the Crystal Gems below. Her eye narrowed and she let out a deafening screech, which reverberated across the beach and ended with a long hiss. It was a sound that felt instinctively wrong.

The gems immediately pulled out their weapons from their gleaming gemstones again. “That’s the mother!” Pearl yelled.

The three stood their ground as the centipeetle wound back down the statue as fast as she could (surprisingly quick for a creature her size) and made her way to them. Still, they had plenty of time to mentally prepare by the time she reached them and they began to clash.

The battle commenced, with the four combatants grunting, hissing, and gasping as they dodged, lunged, and swiped.

The Crystal Gems found themselves against a much tougher opponent, despite their advantage in numbers this time.

“She’s more agile than the others!” Garnet commented as she attempted to punch the corrupted gem, failing when she drew up and away.

“She’s-- ugh! --pretty strong too!” Amethyst commented as the mother’s tail slammed into her.

“But not out of our league!” Pearl cheered them on as she managed to lunge up to jab at the centipeetle’s face, scraping along the carapace of its jaw and causing it to recoil and overbalance, toppling backwards.

She fell with a loud thud and a spray of sand, which the gems had to shield themselves from.

“Alright! Take that!” Amethyst cheered.

But before she and the others could close in and finish her off, the beast jolted and lumbered back upright!

As soon as she was steady on her many legs, the mother centipeetle lunged for the group again, forcing them to scatter.

There was a fury in her eye and a frenzy in her attacks and as she snapped at them, acid dripping in large quantities from her jaws. The dangerous spittle flew as she attacked.

This would be the sight that would meet anyone who reared over the hill path leading down to the beach. In this moment, the maximato-retrieving Kirby would be that anyone. The young batamon’s eyes widened at his guardians’ predicament, and rosy red feet sent him dashing down the sandy path laddered with wooden planks. Kirby was panicked, he wasn’t sure of what to do, but regardless he bolted towards the Crystal Gems, anxious to help. Pearl’s cry of “Kirby, no!” halted him, however.

“We can handle this! You stay safe!” She called over, having noticed him even as she struggled with holding snapping jaws away with her spear. The owner of said jaw was literally frothing with agitation, and acid dripped down along the length of the spear, causing Pearl’s hands to falter.

A heavy punch from Garnet saved her, but the beast got right back up, madder than ever. Hissing, the centipeetle’s head whipped in an arc, spraying out a stream of acid across the beach.

“Take cover!” Garnet cried out. She and the gems ducked behind a carved stone hand embedded in the beach. Their granite knuckles sizzled underneath the corrosive onslaught.

Kirby watched worriedly as his aunts hid. The little batamon bit his lip. He knew his aunts could handle it, but this was anxiety-inducing!

The monster hacked another douse of saliva at the sculpture fragment, the chartreuse hazard beginning to pool at the base faster than the sand could dissolve or absorb it. Pungent fumes filled the salty air as the shrinking fingers began to look like a mitten. Kirby could see that soon, at this current rate of unending attack, their cover would be reduced to nothing!

Kirby ran for them, planning on distracting the corrupted gem. He let out a big “POYO!” waving his arms and stomping his feet. The sound was loud for his size, even over the hissing of the waves of acid and ocean water.

The monster stopped her spitting, startled. Her single eye turned in its socket, landing on Kirby. Her jaws inched closer, narrowing her eye with odd, chitinous eyelids. Luckily for his one-track mind, attention was drawn away from his endangered aunts.

Kirby squinted back, attempting to summon his new shield. The monster ignored his useless squinting and shifted her legs to meet him dead on.

Unfortunately for his one-track mind, it almost physically pained him remembering he hadn’t thought out step two, especially now that his attempts at summoning had failed.

Ever reasonable, Kirby panicked, abandoned his efforts, and managed to dodge the strike of tree-sized trapjaws.

“Kirby!” Pearl bloodcurdled, peeking out from behind the mangled sculpture (which was more blob than hand).

Poor Kirby ran as fast as his little rosy paws could carry him as the corrupted gem chased him in circles around the beach.

The monster kept lunging for him, clicking with frustration and segmented footsteps.

“Kirby! Inhale!” A voice called.

Instinctively, Kirby obeyed the call, opening his mouth wide. Below his lungs and diaphragm, a familiar core within him pulled in on itself, drawing a vacuum into his cherry-red maw. Salty sea air drew itself in, and only fleeting streams of light escaping. For a split second, Kirby saw the bright packaging of batteries before they vanished into his open mouth.

A tingling energy coursed through his little round body; from where he should feel paralyzed and sickened, he felt envigored and beyond alive. He could taste an acidic saliva of his own in his mouth, and his fangs coating over in a chalky potash. The fine fur on his body stood green and erect as they gave off the smell of a waxy, metallic tarnish. He could feel an interlocking chain of zinc and manganese wrapped around the crown of his head, and sense countless chemical reactions bursting from within the headband. The cyan jewel embedded in the front felt like an intimately familiar fifth limb as it oscillated hyperly from in its frame, sending matching arcs of electricity coursing across his scalp. 

“Spark Kirby!” The owner of the voice called — Meta Knight! He must have heard the fight too, Kirby thought.

“Poyamp!” Kirby eagerly responded to his father’s commentary

Beady eyes, now green, turned back to the giant centipeedle. The corrupted gem, having momentarily recoiled at the batamon’s vibrant transformation, resumed an offensive, predatory posture. The two verdant powerhouse were obstacles in each other’s wake.

The lengthy olive carapace bent into a towering, cobra-like arch. This rearing strike gave Kirby enough time to amp up a level of charge. Powerful yet so merciful, Kirby wanted to poof it quickly and humanely. Acids and bases colliding and conflicting within his body, the swarming magnitude of electrons steadily increased until the beast made its decision to strike.

As the giant, acid-laden trapjaw began their downward arc to the beach soil, an energetic flick of Spark Kirby’s foot sent him flying out of the lethal path, soaring diagonal to the centipeetle’s side. There, milliseconds into his airtime, he released the remaining majority of his charge as a bright bolt of lightning into the corrupted gem’s side.

The blast met truer than true, splintering and arcing around the insectoid form. The mane frazzled and the legs twitched as electricity coursed through the fibers and crystalline muscles, forcing the body to writhe. The beak, open in a shriek, had traveling arcs jumping between teeth in an odd, beetle-like Jacob’s Ladder. Just when it started to appear as if its flesh was splitting and flaking off, the arthopedal body exploded into a splinter of crystal sinew and flakes that evaporated into a minty mist. 

Kirby bungled his landing, shocked by his display, and began to wonder if he overdid his attack. He watched, enamored, as something solid fell from the dissipating cloud, landing with a soft tinkle and crunching of sand. Scrambling over to the solitary debris, Kirby found a sphere of a gemstone half his size.

It was perfectly round and an opaque, lime pool of color. A wrought iron ring wrapped around its circumference, except for a segment where the ends of the ring bent away and coiled back in, creating a smaller circle in the middle of the equator. For a gem, it certainly looked like an eyeball.

As Kirby carefully felt it over with paws, finding a faint uncanny resemblance to unripened watermelons, the gems came out of hiding. Pearl came rushing forth, picking up her baby, ignoring her hair frizzing as she held him.

“Yo! That was cool!” Amethyst cried, banishing her whip to gesticulate her praises.

Garnet crouched down to the cabochon nesting in the sand, and formed a small pink bubble around it. Tapping the top of it, it teleported away to safety.

“But I didn’t make a shield!” Kirby pouted as, with a soft twinkle, the band around his head vanished and his pelt returned to its pink color.

“You have just begun using that ability.” Meta Knight stated matter-of-factly, his cloak making a trail in the sand as he walked up to the rest of them. “Remember when you first got Spark? You could barely gather charge — now look at you, you knocked out an opponent several times your size in a single shot.” 

A twinkle of realization adorned Kirby’s eyes. His toes wiggled and he puffed up in pride from within Pearl’s arms. Happy kicks dying down, he suddenly grinned cheekily, “Celebration?” He inquired. “I’ve been good!”

The gems and his father laughed — of course he’d been missing the food he was promised!

“You got it, lil man!” Amethyst said, ruffling his fur fondly. 

Kirby smiled brightly, thinking of katsudon.

—————— *~ (\(>u<)/) ~* ——————

To Be Continued 

Chapter Text

The night was starting to fall like a curtain around the castle.

Pearl had gone to inform Mayor Blustergas of the culprit of the sheep slayings; he had expressed profound relief at her and the rest of the Crystal Gems having contained the gem responsible, but as it was so late, and Pearl technically had no need for rest, he had asked her if she could tell the king the news as well.

Pearl agreed politely - although she was eager to get home and relax, it wouldn’t take that long to talk to the regent.

Right?

The pale gem made her way up the winding path that led to the castle. It was a wavy, somewhat steep road that covered the large hill the Crystal Temple was built into, now known as “Mount Dedede.”

The distance from the town was large enough on foot that by the time Pearl reached the castle gates, the waning minutes of dusk transitioned to what was most definitely nighttime. Stars were even beginning to twinkle cheerfully in scattered numbers.

She approached the dugout lined with blunt, upright logs that stretched from cliffside to cliffside, sectioning off the soil of Castle Dedede from the rest of the mountain. What were once wooden spikes had long since been filed down since the most tragic and fatal accident of Dreamland’s second ruler, King Dede.

Looking up at the wooden gate, Pearl announced herself to the giant portcullis, whereupon a number of Waddle Dees became visible between the arch’s parapets.

“Halt!” A squeaky voice called from among the Dees. A giant, black pupil and the moonlight it reflected stood out among the line of guards, “Who approaches at this hour?”

“Lady Pearl, of the Crystal Gems!” Pearl angled her head upwards. “I seek an audience with the King! I have rather important news to bear, concerning the livestock of the capital!”

“O’right! Open the gate!” The owner of the large pupil ordered the Dees.

“Thank you, Lieutenant General!” Pearl curtsied to the Waddle Doo in charge.

The hand-crank made a thunderous noise as the many minions manipulated it, bringing down the drawbridge. They moved with practiced motions and relative ease, and the wooden gate was lowered with a thud, kicking up dust that momentarily faded the moonlight.

Pearl waited for said dust to settle before stepping onto the sturdy bridge, letting her dainty feet take her over and across the “spike”-pit. She held no fear for what lay below.

A small group of Waddle Dees came to greet her on the other side. Two of them watched her with their tiny, blank eyes, which only occasionally blinked. Three of them proudly showed off their spears - not pointing them at Pearl, but some imaginary enemies. They twirled them with a flourish as they stabbed at the air, dancing around each other with surprising coordination for such stout creatures.

Pearl clapped appreciatively. “Well done! I can see you all have been practicing!” She praised the garrison members. The Waddle Dees all seemed to have a bounce in their steps as they bowed and then grouped back together to go to their stations.

Pearl smiled at them, then turned her head forwards as they let her pass further into the castle grounds.

The lithe Crystal Gem took another moment to pause as she appreciated the front garden that was just beyond the castle gate. It wasn’t very extravagant — holding a more simple appeal and variety of native flowers and plants compared to most royal gardens, which featured primarily rare and exotic species — but it was still beautiful.

The particular variety of plants attracted mainly birds, enough so that there were even a few crepuscular ones still active in the branches. Their nighttime songs were soft and sleepy.

Pearl kept her smile on her face as she walked past the plants — the non-evergreen of which were such lovely rusty pinks, deep browns, ruddy reds, and vibrant yellows — and eventually, past them and into the castle itself.

Her feet were used to the path she was taking, the Crystal Gems having been summoned to the castle many times before in its two centuries of existence. Usually for stupid things.

She walked through the teal stone halls and up several stairs, following the rows of avian portraits, tapestries, and statues that decorated them. Eventually, she stood on a hemisphere of scarlet carpet trimmed with golden bristles that matted the brick tiles before two large wooden doors. Bolstered to the lacquered oak were metal strips of support, and a pair of metallic discs embossed with the visage of the ruling monarch; Dis Royal Majesty, King Dedede.

Knocking politely upon one of the doors, little rectangular slots opened in the wood of both. In the slots that reached on level with her hips, a pair of spears cautiously poked their heads out. Crouching down to the slots’ level, Pearl made eye contact with the beady eyes of another two Waddle Dees.

“I’m here to give the king news,” Pearl said to the doordees. “Is de still in the throne room, or has de already left for the night?”

The Waddle Dees nodded, paused, shook their heads, all before nodding again to each other in resolution. The speartips were removed and the eyeports closed. Within a moment, the heavy twin doors were pulled open; they barely had a second to slow down when four Waddle Dees sidled in syncope to the other side, pushing the doors the rest of the way open, all sparing a curt, welcoming nod to the Crystal Gem.

Giving a gentle nod in return, Pearl thanked the guards and stepped inside a golden sandstone brick room. The wide scarlet carpet continued into the room, only interrupted by the thick sill of the door frame and a pair of arcing tracks that kept the heavy doors’ corners from sagging into the fabric.

Upon reaching the mid-length of the throne room, the path’s end was marked with a pair of star-topped bollards as it ran perpendicular into a larger, similar yet specially tailored, red and gold-trimmed carpet that hugged the steps of a tiered dias that sat in the center of the far half of the chamber.

Only a handful of people were in the room, but the cynosure of the court was the Penguin King, located at the top of the dias, seated idly in dis throne (which was oddly comparable to an office chair, what with how instead of standing on four ornate legs, it reclined on a single, reinforced axle with a weighted, starfish-shaped foot.)

“You’re welcome, Your Majesty!” A small white and pink feline creature in a black kimono bowed in front of the dias of the inexpressive king. “It’s terribly late to return home, so I’ll be staying in my room in the castle, if you need me!”

Turning, the bubbly-voiced court member made their way to the entrance, soon noticing the newest arrival in the throne room.

“Oh! Good evening, Lady Pearl!” The tac bowed briefly to the gem.

“Good evening, Governor Cookie.” Pearl smiled at her. “Sleep well.”

“Thank you!” The much smaller lady drifted off to her quarters, the minty green ribbon adorning her waist floating after.

Having exchanged her pleasantries, Pearl turned to find that within moments, two someones had already found an audience with the king.

The two were arguably the tallest in the room, and their muscular yet gaunt bodies had to hunch over almost unnaturally to submissively look up at their king. Their bodies, hues of blue and orange respectively, were marred with pockmarks and burns, and their faces adorned with the ceramic sheen of masks.

“After careful consideration, Your Majesty, the East County’s coast will gladly host your project!” The orange man pronounced with a theatrical bow. The smile on his bright amber mask was nearly as illuminant as the flames wisping from his blackened scalp.

The blue man chopped his hand through the air dismissively. “No, naught, and nay!” His mask was a golden crescent with a glowing pit where his right eye should be. The scowl directed to the sun-faced man shifted into a blissful grin as his head snapped to face the king. “West County will fit your every desire! It is an impeccable location.”

“Impeccable?” The orange one scoffed, his mask pulled into a frown and his fiery hair began to rise. “You expect anyone to spare a glance at that barmy little bay of yours, when they could have the ocean’s beauty at their disposal!?”

“The bay is a humble slice of your wild, frightful ocean.” The blue man held his head high, letting the translucent wisps of his misty hairline pool on his shoulders. “A gaze upon the western coast will give countless viewers reprise as they watch the sunset over the horizon, sheltered by the moon.”

“The sun must welcome them! The ocean shining as its oriental prism as the greatest star arises to snuff out the dying night! A true spectacle!” The sun-themed man spread his arms wide.

“You are daft! Only you would find solace in blinding yourself!” The moon-themed man accused, pointing a finger.

Pearl rolled her eyes at the ensuing argument; the only thing she trusted Governors Bright and Shine for was to make the pettiest of political squabbles. It seemed as if she was the only one who remembered they were in the presence of the King of Dreamland — including the king dimself — de most certainly wasn’t occupying dis head, dis glazed look befitting of a figure someone would find in an encyclopedia under “astral projection”. Side-eyeing the two arguing governors, Pearl stepped around them and in front of the throne, determined to find the lost attention of the king.

Escargoon, who appeared to be developing another migraine, regained life in his tired body when he saw the woman sneaking around the derailed court proceedings. The royal advisor’s eyestalk perked up in alert as his gaze met her, and reached an arm out to shake the king’s arm. “S-Sire,” the gastropod hissed.

Soul came back to the blue king’s eyes, and dis bird brain worked to register dis surroundings. Following Escargoon’s gaze, the blue eyes of king and gem met.

“Excuse me, King Dedede? I’m not interrupting anything too important, am I?”

“... Yer alive?” The king said stupidly.

“And kicking, your majesty,” Pearl quipped. “I came to inform you of the identity of the sheep killer.”

The king scrambled to sit upright in dis throne.

“Oh, I was wunnerin’ who dunnit...” Dedede’s eyes widened like de heard glass shattering, “I mean-- you finally found the smokin’ gun o that lil’ Kirby o’ yers!”

Pearl frowned. “No, it was a corrupted gem who did it - we’ve since contained her.”

“Prove it!” The king bellowed, “Bring me tha head o’ tha beast!”

“Now Dedede, you should know perfectly well that that isn’t possible - and for a number of reasons!” She admonished dim.

“Whuh?” De looked confused.

“Gem bodies are not like those of other species,” Pearl started, waving her hand between the three of them. “While I believe I’ve discussed this with you, I am not too opposed to re-explaining things.”

“Oh boy, everyone’s favorite: exposition.” Escargoon muttered as an aside.

The lithe woman gestured to the opaque cabochon embedded in her forehead. “The most important understanding about Gem biology is the gemstone. Comparable to both the brain and the heart, gemstones are the “true and only” organ that is the actual Gem.”

“What appears to be our bodies is a construct comprised of hard light. When a gemstone is unconstrained in a well-lit plenum, a special light is refracted through the gemstone, transmuting molecules in the atmosphere into a malleable crystal matrix with the same skeletal, muscular, and tactile properties of an organic body.”

“The creation of the body, however, results in a very high amount of residual stress within the matrix. While damage to hair or clothing is inconsequential, significant trauma to the main body results in the complete collapse and decomposition of the entire matrix.”

“So, even if I were as barbaric to bring you the head of anything, your majesty,” a sneer of disgust couldn’t help its way onto her face, “I wouldn’t have been able to bring you the nephrite’s head anyways; it’d be physically impossible for a severed extremity to last anything more than a couple of seconds and be brought anywhere. Not to mention that my associates and I believe it would be better off that we handled corrupted gems and kept them secure for you.”

“I think I got allavit, except fer that “May-tricks” nonsense you were blabbering about.”

“Their bodies are a hologram with mass, sire.”

“If she weighs a hologram, then I’m as light as a bird!” Dedede snapped at dis right hand mollusk. “Forget this, I’ll think it over in the mornin’! But for now, court’s closed!”

The King of Dreamland rocked back in dis throne, swinging forward onto mustard-colored flippers with a strong yet muffled thump. The penguin hopped down the dias and trode down the red carpet, passing between Governors Bright and Shine as they hammily sprawled and gesticulated across the courtroom’s tiles.

“My eyes! My blinded eyes! Oh, woe is me! If only I had indulged in the gentle beauty of another celestial bodice!”

“I can’t hear a thing coming out of your trap! My ears have frozen in the frigid, damnable night!”

“Why not carry on then! Experience complete heat death, you gaudy nonce!”

As the king left the room, the doors were held open as their attendants overlooked the remaining occupants of the room.

The royal advisor sighed as he slithered down the dias’ carpeted steps. “Okay you two, shove off! Maybe then the King will listen to your tripe in the morning!” His dry, reddened eyestalk turned to a set of Waddle Dees stationed at a side door, who he directed over to the governors.

The Dees approached the celestial persons, and began their attempt to guide them out of the chamber by tugging at the cuffs of their alabaster crackowes.

Ignoring the petty politicians’ petulant protests, Pearl bade farewell to them with a “Well, today was an eventful day. Good night, governors,” as she strode up to the side of Escargoon.

“Not that they need it…” The tired mollusk muttered.

“Hmm?”

“Uh- read it.” A faint look of alarm crossed Escargoon’s face before it hid under a politician’s sneer. “Reading, catching up on my reading.”

The lithe gem’s head nodded in acknowledgement, and froze in an upward tilt as she gained an acute look of realization.

“Oh! That reminds me; I finished one of the books I had on loan from the royal archives, so it would be prudent that I return it while I am here.” A quick bow was had before she made her way down the left of the corridor. “Good night, Duke Escargoon.”

“Myeah, g’night.” The duke turned to the waddle dees manning the doors, flagging one of them down.

“Bring some chamomile to my chambers. Tea this time; not flowers!”

—————— ( ouo)/) ~* ——————

Pearl’s stride towards the library was confident - she had visited it many times before and knew the way by heart. Or, gem. Literally or figuratively, it was ingrained into the orthorhombic lattice of her mind. So by opening a set of double doors -- these small and tendable by a single person -- she once again entered a foyer leading to a loft overlooking a lounge area, held in place by halls of books above and below the mezzanine. A lone waddle dee manned the entrance from behind a lacquered desk, armed only with a pen and a book of crosswords.

The cabochon in her forehead glowed a brilliant cyan as she drew a brassy orange tome and a laminated card from apparent nowhere with nothing but dainty fingers.The librarian watched the lightshow through tiny oblong spectacles, completely nonplussed.

“I’m here to return this book.” She explained, handing the objects over, barcodes presented. “I’ll save you the trouble and return it to its shelf myself.”

With a humble nod, a swipe of the card, and the flash of a scanner, the librarian sent her on her way and returned to their puzzles.

Passing by an archway leading to another wing of shelves and books, Pearl nearly missed a figure sitting at the cluttered table in the center of the magic section.

The small occupant lay face down at the table, buried under a purple and yellow-striped hat. All that reached out from underneath the flopping brim were slack limbs, a tuft of lime green hair, and a coo of gentle snoring.

The Crystal Gem set her due copy of Sandy Canyon: A Tectonic Anomaly on the remaining emptiness of the table.

“Gryll?” Pearl called gently. Squatting down beside the chair she repeated, “Gryll? Are you awake?”

As if that last word were an incantation, the body jolted up with a sharp murmur. The sloping hat whipped back in the air, the cubic bobble at its tip chiming like a bell. Mitted hands held onto the table for the girl’s support as she pivoted her body to face Pearl.

“Oi! Uh, g’day, Lady Pearl!” A tired Cockaigney accent managed to chipper.

“Gryll, it’s nearing midnight...” The gem informed her with concern.

The diminutive mage’s face faintly perked up at the correction, prompting her to look over her table to a grandfather clock resting sandwiched between two bookshelves, and then a similarly placed orrery behind her chair. “Huh.”

“‘Huh’ indeed.” Pearl parroted, her idle hands instinctively straightening a sheaf of papers at the table’s edge. “Where’s Simirror? Wouldn’t he be helping you with this?”

“S’mirr? Oi! Yeah! He’s onna pilgrimage to Rainbow Rizort. P’omised to bring me back a souv’nir, so I’m handling work ‘til he’s back!” Gryll yawned and turned back to the scroll she was face down in a moment ago. “But I guess I was resting in me arithmancy…”

Her mitten wiped at spittle on the parchment… smearing black ink across the scrawl and fabric. There was a moment of silence as the witch girl’s teal eyes watered before a pitiful whine of sorrow began to creep into the room.

“It’s not that bad! The parchment, I mean.” Pearl placated, trying to ignore the black staining white mitten. “I’ll help you transcribe what’s left and then we can rewrite what was lost.”

Blue eyes matched one another. “You’d do that fer me?”

“While I don’t mean to stifle your independence, I still think it would do you some good to have an assistant.” Pearl smiled, the words ‘and organize this table’ confined to her mind.

Gryll looked at her with a lessened yet still incredulous look. “But it’s so late... you said so!”

“Gryll, do you need to sleep?”

The young mage’s face puffed up in determination, her short whiskers flaring from her blushing cheeks.

“No... N-No, I can do this!”

“Then I don’t need to rest either!”

—————— ( ouo)/) ~* ——————

“But I don’t need to rest!” Kirby proclaimed.

“The quicker you fall asleep, the quicker breakfast will come.” Meta Knight gently urged him.

The pink puffball immediately looked tempted, but a pout withstood on his face. “I wanna spend time with you…”

His father smiled under his mask, eyes flashing a soft blue for a moment. “Kirby, there are some times I won’t be able to be with you. I’ll be happy to spend some time with you after I’ve handled the latest kerfuffle with the king. First, we both must get some rest. Sleep for now, and I’ll be there at breakfast.”

Reassured, young Kirby obediently closed his eyes, snuggling into the blankets that his father pulled up around him. Soon, he was swaddled and comfy, and despite his previous protests, it was a long day…

Meta Knight gave him a gentle pat on the head, and slid off the bed as his son settled. He stood nearby, a reassuring presence.

Within minutes, Kirby slipped off into a dreamland within Dreamland.

Meta Knight watched his cute pink puff of a son with a fond look from under his mask.

“Just turned over two hundred, and he’s defeated his first gem monster.” Meta Knight mused, eyes still a proud blue. “He’s growing fast, but hopefully not too rushed.”

“Nah, you ain’t rushing him, M.K.” Amethyst casually reassured him with a cheeky smile, having been watching him from downstairs. “The good ones take time.”

The blue puffball drifted away from his son’s bed with a hum. “Valid point.”

As he began to walk down to the stairs from Kirby's loft, Garnet interjected.

“If Kirby has grown so much, perhaps he’s qualified for a mission with us?”

Meta Knight’s eyes drew to the tall gem’s visor. “Do you have one in mind?”

Garnet nodded. “Another artifact came into Curio’s today: the idol for the Lunar Spire.”

“So, do we bust it, bubble it, or return it to its home?” Amethyst inquired, flopping onto the lounge’s couch. “The idol or the spire, whichever.”

“Return it home,” Garnet intoned. “When we return the idol in the morning, Kirby can come along and be the doctor’s escort.”

“Shouldn’t be anything but some sparkling slugs there.” Meta Knight set himself down on the couch with calmed amber eyes. “I’m fine with anything, so long as he doesn’t face off against a monster for a second day in a row.”

“We’ll wait for Pearl so we can tell her about this.” A smile came to Garnet’s face, “I’m sure she won’t mind giving Kirby a tour of the Spire.”

“When’s she coming back though?” The purple gem questioned from her seat.

“Won’t be for a while. She’s busy crunching numbers.” Garnet smirked.

An item on the lounge's table caught Meta Knight’s eye. Scooted up against a potted plant was a half-emptied baggie of candy, forgotten by his son and set aside by Pearl.

“He had a big dinner.” Meta Knight observed, picking up the bag. “The candy tax might be in order.”

“Ey, can you pass one over?” Amethyst said, instantly circling in like a buzzard. Not as a buzzard, she wasn’t shapeshifting.

Meta Knight faux-casually sheltered the candy in his cape. “I’m the collector, Amethyst.”

“It’s true.” Garnet confirmed.

—————— ( ouo)/) ~* ——————

The moon was at its penultimate point when the King of Dreamland stood in dis chambers, absent of dis iconic robes and cloak as they were strewn over the top of a nautical-themed wall divider. As de slipped sand green nightwear over dimself, the regent’s gaze wandered across the rounded bedroom, following the blue oceanic waves painted onto white walls.

Tightening a belt of fabric around dis waist, Dedede emerged from behind the folding screen and waddled to dis vanity cabinet. De placed dis golden gloves onto the cabinet top, and hunched over, dis naked hands viced onto the wood’s edge. Tired, dull blue eyes stared into the mirror, deeply in thought.

“‘May-tricks?’” Dedede stared into dis reflection. “What is that? Some new April Fools?”

The penguin in the vanity’s mirror said nothing, as it was just a reflection. Even though de wasn’t necessarily asking it, de still wanted an answer. A growl rose in dis throat.

“If that’s what it is, I coulda sworn it was October!”

Grabbing the golden egg emblem at dis forehead, Dedede pulled the royal red cap from dis head and chucked the garment aside. “Because that Kirby sure is making a real fool outta me!”

There were no assuring words of a sycophant snail in the room to ease the king, nor the presence of a squishy pest to pummel into; all that responded was the deep melodic call of dis grandfather clock into the midnight hour. The solitude of a dozen chimes eased the king’s fluffed, reddening plumage, and dis eyes refocused to dis four-poster bed.

Making over to the alluring red tent of sleep, Dedede stopped as de caught sight of something underflipper. At the foot of dis nightstand, dis discarded cap lay on the carpet. Picking it up — nothing was damaged, the wood and metal centerpiece having been cushioned by its attached fabrics — de stretched the headgear over a featureless wooden head resting on top of the nightstand.

A fool, throwing dis hat.

Drawing navy blue covers, Dedede slipped not only into bed, but into a routine. Centered in the king-sized mattress, the penguin pulled the blanket back over dimself without even looking away from the bed’s canopy. It was habit for the bird’s eyes to lock onto a portrait that was not hung onto the wall, but instead bolted to dis bed’s wooden tester.

The canvas depicted two prideful penguins stood together, wrapped in ornate robes. The greying senior held onto a gilded cane, while the cockerell by his side held an egg patterned like the ocean’s waves. It encompassed not only three generations, but an entire dynasty. King Dedede was certain that out of all the pieces the court artist had made, the one de gazed up at every night was Vividria’s greatest work.

A blue-feathered fist pounded the mattress, giving a springy, frustrated thump.

“Forgive me. I’ve flunked again.” Dis fist eased to scrunch the covers in dis grasp anew, “That pink lil’ blighter... my very bones senses ‘im.”

The egg-bearing prince, beak turned in a smile, kept smiling. The eyes, as blue as the summer sky, showed life that no longer was. In that moment, unplagued by a pink glutton.

“Show me again, that path of righteousness.”

The founder existed with the warmth of a spring day. Behind a golden pince-nez, russet eyes could practically tell their vision of the future.

“On there, nothing will be standin’ in our way.”

The king blinked, ignoring the salty tear de banished from dis sight.

“Show me, grandpappy. I will finish what you started.”

Chapter Text

If there is one adage Kirby lives by, it is the three “W”s: Wednesday welcomes waffles.

Unfortunately, the waffle maker and two spoons broke last Wednesday, so pancakes would have to do. Kirby didn’t mind too much, he still got to eat fluffy slabs of baked batter either way.

Kirby giggled as he balanced a full stack of pancakes, giving a small twirl as he presented them to his dad. They were raspberry pancakes with nice, fresh whipped cream dolloped on top. It looked even better than the previous two stacks… and he’d cooked them all by himself! With Meta Knight’s supervision, of course. Dad wouldn’t make that mistake ever again.

Meta Knight clapped appreciatively, then picked up a fork and knife. The blue batamon cut free a small slice from the stack and snuck it under his mask, which had been left partially askew.

Kirby watched with anticipation.

“It’s good, Kirby.” His father approved. Kirby caught a glimpse of a smile, so he smiled widely himself. Before he could coax the glimpse into a full-on display, there was a knock at the front door.

“Hello?” A quiet but gruff voice called.

Meta Knight stiffened, adjusting his mask back over his face.

Kirby pouted, then perked up as he hopped off his stool and over to the door.

Looking through the mesh of the door’s screens, he saw standing on the porch the bulbous form of a cappy with a graying beard longer than his thinning hairline dressed in an olive-colored vest.

The young batamon opened it, giving a cute “Hi!” to their visitor.

“Good morning, Kirby!” The cappy smiled under his whiskers, “Are the Gems all home?”

“I think so.” Kirby nodded unsurely. Garnet and Amethyst were here when he went to bed last night, but he couldn’t recall seeing Pearl come back after she left.

“Professor Curio, come in,” Meta Knight greeted from the kitchen.

“Sir Meta Knight! Tidings to you as well.” Curio stepped through the doorway, closing the screen doors behind him. A faded yellow tote bag bounced against his hip as he walked. “I know the Gems told me to meet them today as soon as I could, but I am not intruding, am I?”

“You are, but you were invited.” Meta Knight stated simply.

Curio faltered. “Oh, eh… My apologies?”

“It’s alright.” Meta Knight hopped off his stool. “Pearl and Garnet aren’t home, but let me fetch Amethyst.”

Kirby watched as his father left the kitchen for the door set in the craggy alcove in the back of the room.

Before he could approach the door, it opened to reveal Amethyst already there, standing with a vivid green plastic bottle.

“Hey, MK. This is the last of the motor oil, so if you see Pearl, remind her to put some more on her list.” Amethyst swished the liquid inside around.

Meta Knight glanced at the bottle, and said nothing aside from a brief “Curio is here.”

“Oh yeah! Hey Curio!” Amethyst peered around Meta Knight’s short form, waving with her free hand. The two made their ways to the counter, the elder batamon stationing himself back with his stack as the purple gem took a seat in front of a third plate of undecorated pancakes.

“We’re doing something special today, riiiiight?” She sing-songed, glancing at Kirby as she uncapped the motor oil.

Kirby blinked, confused. “Special?” He copied.

“Yeah. Maybe Pearl or Garnet know and they can tell us when we’re all together.” She winked exaggeratedly. She began pouring the oil between the top two pancakes in the stack.

“Oh… yes! Let’s wait for them.” Curio followed along eventually, initially distracted by the odd sight.

Now that Kirby knew he had to be patient about something, he had impatience waiting for whatever it was. Reoccupying himself, his eyes turned back to the three plates of pancakes on the kitchen counter.

“Professor, I’m making pancakes. Do you want some?” He asked eagerly.

The cappy bowed gently, “I already had myself breakfast before I came over…”

The pink batamon began to slump, dejected and most depressingly.

“…b-but I think I might have room for a few!” Curio continued hastily. “As long as they don’t contain motor oil.”

“Your loss.” Amethyst said, sandwiching more pancakes.

Kirby shot back up and darted back on top of the stool he had laid in front of the stove. He turned the burner back on (of course he didn’t leave it on!) and grabbed the pitcher. There was still a bit of batter left in the bowl, enough for… Kirby estimated… about four more large pancakes?

Kirby poured carefully. The blob of batter grew on the now sizzling pan. The smell of pancakes, butter, and raspberries was renewed in the air. He paid close attention to the pan, dutifully flipping whenever a side got too brown, and gently lifting it onto a plate when it was done. Kirby wasn’t the best cook without the Cook ability, but even without it, he made decent pancakes!

Curio, was now somewhat drawn in by the scent and sight of the pancakes, waiting patiently for Kirby to finish. Kirby was making the third pancake when he and his kitchen’s occupants became alerted to the sound of the door opening. Turning to the door, everyone was met with Pearl walking in with Garnet behind her holding the door.

“Oh! Professor Curio, you’re here!” Pearl greeted.

Curio bowed a polite greeting, erstwhile everyone else waved from their stools; Kirby was too preoccupied by the cooking batter to waddle over and greet his persnickety and stoic parental figures; Amethyst was busy skewering a cinnamon stick through her pancake stack; and Meta Knight was continuing to rival Garnet in stoicism.

“OUTTA MY WAY! OUTTA MY WAY!”

Garnet flattened Pearl against the door as a mustard yellow blur shot past them and across the foyer. The projectile hit the wooden floor, landing on little orange toes. It was a canary with a frantic, hungered look in his eyes.

“Did I miss the waffles?” the small bird inquired in a winded, raspy voice as he scoped everyone in the room.

Pearl pulled herself from the door, aptly straightening her posture and smoothing her skirt.

“The waffle maker is broken, Tokkori.” A condemning leer was sent the canary’s way. “Remember?”

“Ah. Yeah.” Tokkori muttered, trying to avoid Pearl’s eyes. Looking at Garnet’s visor felt equally as judgmental.

“But I made pancakes!” Kirby consoled the bird.

“Gimme extra raspberries, Junior!” Tokkori demanded “I want mine packed for the pickings!”

There was only enough batter left for one more small pancake, but that was perfect, given that one such pancake would be about all that a bird Tokkori’s size could eat. He was a small thing. Plus, Garnet and Pearl wouldn’t mind: why they don’t eat was a question he stopped asking decades ago. Kirby quickly finished up Curio’s pancakes, serving them to the professor, before going back to the stove.

“How many raspberries?” He asked Tokkori.

“Yes.” The bird replied as he fluttered onto the counter top.

That wasn’t really an answer, but Kirby took that to mean “all of them”. So he dumped them all in the bowl and stirred.

“I thought you were hibernating.” Amethyst groaned, slouching as she leered at the bird standing beside her unmayonaised pancakes.

Tokkori broke away from his scrutiny of the frying pan and Kirby’s cooking technique. “Pfft! Autumn’s just started! And I’ll fly south when the evergreens are bare!”

“…They’re forever green.” The purple gem stressed.

“Exactly! You’re my clever cookie!” He puffed his feathers happily.

Amethyst just tightened her gaze on the little bird as she squeezed a mayo bottle over her pancakes. “Yuh-huh.”

“Ahem.” Everyone’s attention was drawn to Curio as he cleared his throat. “Now that we’re all together, shall we get to business?”

Kirby paused as he carried the last raspberry-packed pancake over towards Tokkori. Business? Is this more of what Amethyst said earlier?, Kirby wondered as the little bird pulled the pancake off the spatula and fluttered away into the rafters without even a thank you. Kirby looked back to find nothing: neither an answer nor a pancake. Very curious things this morning…

“We should help Kirby clean up first. I think this might be something that he might be interested in.” Pearl smiled, eager for more than simply instilling proper kitchen etiquette into her charge.

“I’ll handle it today.” Meta Knight offered, pulling himself away from his seven layers of whipped pancakes again.

“Cleaned mine.” Amethyst said, regurgitating a porcelain disk.

Meta Knight hesitantly clasped her plate and shuffled to the sink.

“Right then!” Curio smiled, marching over to the low table “May I use this table?”

“Please.” Pearl granted.

The elder cappy took a seat on the lounge couch, and hefted his tote onto the low table in front of him. The Crystal Gems settled around the table, soon followed by Kirby. The four watched as Curio opened his bag’s flap and pulled out a wooden box. While the professor uses a lot of wooden boxes just like the one he was holding, it was still a box and a closed box is enough to get the young batamon’s attention. Carefully setting the box beside the tote, the cappy unlatched and began to open the lid. Kirby leaned closer. As the wooden lid was pulled off, a mold of black foam was revealed, and cradled by it — a figure carved from bluish-grey slate rock.

“A little lady! She’s twice as small as I am!” Kirby barked, amazed by how he dwarfed the artifact. A thought struck him: Is this what Fumu thinks when she stands next to me?

The little stone lady lay still, her eyes closed in serenity as she held a periwinkle gemstone affront in her stiff arms. Similarly-colored beads of crystal speckled her tummy, at the front of a long dress that tapered off into a shiny culet at the bottom. She made for an intriguing sight… one that seemed impossible to stand up or balance. Does she spin like a top?

“That’s indeed the Moon Priestess Statue.” Pearl confirmed as she looked over the figure. She gave a small pat to Kirby, who was still enamored with it. “Where did it end up, Curio?”

“My source said they acquired it in the isles off of Cockaigne, but they gave no idea how it could’ve ended up there.” Curio shrugged before turning back to the statue. “I only had to barter three bricks of cheese to take it off their paws; a real steal!” The cappy smiled proudly.

“And it looks to still be in good condition…” Pearl observed. “No damage to the back I assume?”

Curio gently lifted the statue out of the box, showing it off for inspection. “None that I can see.”

Kirby knew this wasn’t the first time the professor had come over with an artifact for the Crystal Gems. He couldn’t count the number of times it happened, and not only because he never tried counting in the first place. As long as he knew Curio, there was this little business arrangement between the cappy and the gems. If the professor found any magic gem stuff, he was to head straight to the temple so the gems could handle it. The only caveat is that Curio could tag along for whatever the gems did with the gift to learn everything he could… sometimes he would go on missions! Admittedly, Kirby was envious that Curio got to go on missions with the gems, but he wouldn’t dare try to ruin what made the old cappy happy.

“What gem museum are you returning this one to?” Kirby inquired as he observed its long venice-blue hair.

Pearl blinked. “Kirby, there’s not really a “gem museum”, but we are returning it. Its rightful place is at the top of the Lunar Spire.”

When they didn’t have to bubble the trinkets, they’d have “Curio expeditions” in order to go and return it to places – that weren’t gem museums apparently – with fantastical names like the Lunar Spire.

…Kirby didn’t know what the Lunar Spire was, though. Nonetheless, he nodded like he recognized it.

“Curio, we have been thinking about how we are going to return this idol. The Lunar Spire is a very interesting place with a lot for you to go through. Suppose you would appreciate some assistance in your expedition?”

“Your insight is always welcome, Lady Pearl!” Curio laughed cordially.

Pearl smiled appreciatively. “That’s why we have decided that today’s venture to the Lunar Spire will serve as Kirby’s first mission!” She continued, drawing everyone’s eyes towards the smallest, pinkest one in the room.

Kirby’s wide eyes locked to his palest motherly figure with a silent inquiry. wHAT.

“Yup! Your first mission, little man!” Amethyst cheered, scooping him in her arms like a yoga ball.

“R- Really!?” He squealed.

“For your first mission, you have been chosen to serve as Curio’s escort to and from the top of the Spire,” Garnet debriefed. “We all have faith in you.”

Kirby wiggled excitedly in Amethyst’s arms.

“Make sure to prepare yourself, Kirby.” His father said from the kitchen, pulling a little white tin out from under the sink cupboard. “Take a medkit with you.”

Kirby’s eyes tried to widen beyond what his face muscles could allow. Dad is right! Gem missions are dangerous!

Squeezing past Pearl and Curio, Kirby ran into the kitchen to accept the supplies. Kirby wanted to be as ready as he could be… for his first mission! So, as he turned the medkit in his paws, the eager batamon began wondering what else the kitchen might have that he’d need.

Snacks. He deduced. We need snacks.

—————— ( o u o )/) ~ * ——————

The next few minutes were hectic. Not like a monster-on-the-loose kind of hectic, but a bouncy-child-on-the-loose kind of hectic. Kirby was running cupboard to cupboard, going through and checking over anything that seemed useful. The gems, Curio, and Meta Knight watched as a pile of snacks, medical supplies, and plastic utilities began to dwarf the Moon Priestess idol’s case.

The young batamon stopped beside his father and looked up into his elder’s pink eyes. “Dad? Where do you keep the campfire starting kit?”

“Kirby, this mission shouldn’t last a day.” Pearl rationalized to him.

“I can lend you mine.” Meta Knight offered from behind his stack of four pancakes.

“Meta Knight…” Pearl sighed.

“I never go anywhere without one.” He said, handing a matchbox to his son. He glanced at Pearl. “We need to instill preparedness in him.”

“Thank you!” Kirby chirped, waddling back to the table with the firestarter held as carefully as an egg.

Pearl grimaced.

“Kirby, don’t you need something to carry this in?” Garnet humored.

“Yeah, no way you can carry all this.” Amethyst stated, testing what looked like a plastic orange burrito in her grasp.

Kirby looked at the table. He was being awfully prepared. Curio’s box could hold his things, but where would the little lady go then?

Then it hit him. Kawasaki, from his last birthday — the chubby chef had gifted him a novelty fanny pack! He might still have to prune his pile, but he could fit the essentials! Running up to the mezzanine that held his bedroom, he honed towards the bottom drawer of his nightstand.

“Poyo!” he chirped as he pulled out his prize.

In his paws was an oblong, tan-colored pouch as wide as his shoulders. Its two pillowy halves split open like a book to rest a rounded brown-and-black-stripped cylinder blanketed in maroon chenille swatches in the shapes of circles, splotches, and beans. It was a fanny pack shaped like a chili dog. While it wouldn’t taste like a real chili dog, he could handle its soft squishy fabric more than he could touch a real one…

Kirby squeezed the plush pig in a blanket with a hug and toddled downstairs to begin packing.

“We’ve unlocked inventory expansion!” Kirby exclaimed, as this was a group achievement.

Pearl tittered motherly. Curio clapped politely. Meta Knight watched Kirby stuff things in the chili dog from behind his stack of three pancakes.

“We’re all ready then.” Garnet stated once Kirby zipped up his now bulging chili dog.

Kirby nodded, and stood up, leaving behind a pile of rejected items.

“If everyone is indeed ready, we shall take the warp pad.” Pearl declared, moving to the back of the room to step onto said object.

“I will stay behind.” Meta Knight stated from his place next to his stack of two pancakes. “Kirby needs to do this without me for now, I believe.”

The others made their way to the crystalline dias, with Kirby eagerly scampering forward, jumping onto its shiny platform. He was visibly vibrating with excitement.

“Kirby? Would you like to hold the professor’s hand so he can warp with us?” Pearl offered as the baby batamon wiggled beside her.

Kirby’s paw easily took Curio’s grasp in his own. Stars, does he love holding hands.

His nubby, fine-furred paw gently squeezed the elder cappy’s larger hand, eliciting a smile from them both. Pearl gently pat the pink puffball on the head, then waved goodbye to Meta Knight. Kirby also waved with his free hand, beaming at his father before disappearing behind a gleaming beam of light as the warp pad activated.

—————— ( o u o )/) ~ * ——————

With a sparkling flash of light, five figures reappeared on a near identical crystal platform centered on a circular plateau. The stone floor was covered in sediment, as was a slope that winded off in front of them. Only fragments of old stone stairs peeked out from under the silt.

The air was damp with saline vapors of the sea and filled with the roar of water, as the horizon was blocked by a waterfall that wrapped around not them, but the centerpiece to the ring of falling ocean.

Standing in the basin that would not fill stood an imposing tower of light blue slate rock that stretched up and peaked above the ocean’s surface. Bands of arches wrapped around the pale tower’s base, decorated with reliefs of diamond and chevrons and other angular shapes. As the spire began to taper to its peak, the arches followed stairways as they spiraled counter-clockwise and climbed up the sheer curve.

“The atlases don't do her justice.” Curio awed upon the tower, taking a picture with a digital camera around his neck. “That is Pre-Samsaran Plagioclassic, is it not?”

“Close. The spire was actually made in an Orthoclassic architecture style.” Pearl corrected.

Kirby’s gaze caught onto the numerous chips in the towering stone. A sizable chunk of stairway crumbled and fell into the salty basin. “It looks kinda broken.”

“You are certainly right, Kirby,” agreed Pearl, scrutinizing the decay for herself. “While the idol was stolen just a century ago, the Spire has deteriorated far more in that time than I could have anticipated.”

Kirby hummed. The gems and Curio stepped off the warp pad and began walking up the slope, with Kirby hopping off and toddling after them.

“Despite its current state, Kirby, the Lunar Sea Spire was once a forum for the many gems of a Moonstone’s entourage,” the thin gem explained, her eyes drawn upon the precipice of the tower. “Without the Moon Priestess idol to protect it from the elements, the spire is unfortunately a shadow of what it once was.”

“You really like big empty things, don’cha Pearl?” Amethyst nudged her, causing Pearl’s face to sour further.

The tall gem brushed the shorter off, marching forward to the edge of the slope. “Let’s just go.”

This however, was soon proven difficult. As they neared the tower, they slowed and halted behind Garnet. They stopped in front of where the steps suddenly ended, a chasm with sheer faces of broken masonry falling down into the rushing waters.

“Yeah? The stairs are gone.” Amethyst observed, unamused, “We can jump this easy.”

“No. The magic that sustains the whirlpool creates a vortex that will pull us under and siphon us upward.” Garnet eyed the waters.

“It’s not a shortcut to the top?” Kirby pondered, eyes running the length of the spire and catching glimpses of a geyser inside.

Garnet shook her head. “The siphon would erode us before we’d reach there.”

What was previously looked at with fun potential was now given trepidation.

“Then we’ll have to find a way to bridge our way across.” Pearl mused.

“You got a bridge in there, Lil’ K?” Amethyst asked, definitely rhetorically because she definitely paid attention to what Kirby was packing.

Kirby stood staring at the spire, no longer with fear, but with contemplation.

“No,” he shot down. “But we can scale across.”

The little batamon took off the fanny pack and began to rummage underneath the cheese. After a second or two, he pulled out a spool of climbing rope…

… and shoved it in his mouth.

As Kirby swallowed the coil, his body erupted in a flash of light. As the glare vanished, Kirby stood with his fur yellowed into a sandy gold. On the top of his head rested a stetson made from robin-red hide and a band adorned with cobalt-blue stars. His paws were no longer empty nor his tongue coarsen with fibers, as a stockwhip now rested in his grasp.

“Whip Kirby will help us,” Garnet declared Hispanically.

After affixing the fanny pack back on him, Whip Kirby shuffled over to the broken edge and let the coil unfurl. He gave a lazy swing of the whip; the rawhide thong outstretched, making half way across the chasm before the cracker fell and drooped down towards the water. It clicked lightly against the stone, but nothing more.

“You can do it, cowboy!” Amethyst cheered, drowning out Pearl’s concerns of safety.

“Hmm…” Whip Kirby hummed in a thoughtful manner as he reeled in. “Thirty degrees up, giv ‘er take.”

Rearing his slingin’ arm back, the batamon flung his whip out. This time, the coil crossed the gap and reached the masonry of the Lunar Spire. The cracker wormed into a putlog hole over one of the arches, looping into the arch and threading back into the rhomboid hole again. Giving a tug or two, Whip Kirby found that the rawhide refused to let go from its nook.

“Alrighty, I gottem.” He declared nonchalantly.

“Yeah!” Amethyst cheered. One of the Gems swiftly strode over to him.

“Kirby, let me hold on too so you don’t go over by yourself.” Pearl tightly grabbed onto the whip like it was a lifeline as she held the batamon close to her chest.

“Sure thing, ma’am.” Kirby said agreeably.

Garnet squatted down to pluck Curio from the ground, and held the cappy under arm like a flustered log. “Amethyst, swing us through the arch just over.”

“Stars, this is like the Jade Palace all over again!” The scholarly cappy squawked.

“Don’t worry, Pearl won’t drop you this time.” Amethyst placated mischievously as she pulled her studded whip from her gemstone.

The lithe gem grumbled and cradled the pink-turned-yellow child further.

Amethyst swung her whip, which secured itself sturdily into another putlog hold and barbed into the stone it touched. She and Garnet awkwardly embraced each other, before swinging over the churning waters that deafened Curio’s crying. Just as quick as they jumped, two sets of feet landed on the opposite side.

“Alright!” Amethyst rooted. She turned back to Pearl and Kirby as Garnet set Curio down. “C’mon!”

“Hold on, Kirby.” Pearl whispered, wrapping the whip around her wrist in a tighter grasp.

Then, with a careful leap, Pearl swung the two across the gap. Her dainty pointe shoes anchored them on the spire’s tile, allowing her to gently set down Whip Kirby. A faint thrum of energy filled the air, vibrating the batamon’s whip. Inexplicably, the length of rawhide unwormed itself from its hold and coiled back towards the stock in Whip Kirby’s grasp. The gem looked over her ward until she was satisfied with his unthreatened integrity.

“Aw fu– fricking sweet! Moss!” Amethyst squawked.

“What?” Pearl squawked even more squawkishly.

Indeed, Amethyst was standing over a fuzzy teal patch growing on the tile. Said tile was weathered and marred with cracks. What few spots appeared to retain a polish were (upon further inspection) in fact beaded with seawater.

“Oh, no, no, no, this is even worse than the outside…” Pearl mused, horrified. “This didn't used to be so... Oh, the water damage!”

Garnet inspected the wet masonry along the inner wall. “Leaks from the siphon.” She surmised.

“This mess has been going strong for years!” Pearl cried, finding a patch of moss that had steadily and entirely consumed a pillar.

“Yeah. Aged pretty good.” Amethyst hummed, nibbling on a handful of moss.

“And it’ll only get worse if we don’t return the idol.” The tallest gem began the march up the spiraling steps.

“There is still much to be learned from what is left.” Curio assured himself, his gaze trawling around. “Like this, over here.”

Pearl and Whip Kirby followed the cappy’s pointing towards a sculpture about as tall as the former resting on a pedestal of stacked square slabs.

The figure’s base was a tightly-twisted prism shape (that reminded the batamon of licorice) until it shaped out into the feminine, broad-chested shape not unlike what the Gems had. All over there were faint lingerings of finer details that had long since eroded away. The arms branched off at the elbows, the hands ending with two palms held together, and two faced towards the barreled ceiling. The head had no semblance of hair, as that and a sizable chunk of its western hemisphere had broken off, lost to who knows where or when.

“This Turquoise bust is in fair enough condition.” Curio said as he appraised the main body of the statue. “Appears to have been sculpted in the prayer posit–AAh!”

The elderly cappy startled as a stout, craggy creature reared over the statue’s back, plopping down in the head’s missing chunk and facing him with an orifice of pink crystal. An identical specimen slithered over its right shoulder, affixed like a big spiked pauldron. Quick as his weapon, Whip Kirby rushed in front of the professor. One paw drew out, shielding Curio, while the other wielded the stockwhip. With two quick lashes and sharp, tiny squeaks, the spade-tipped cracker struck the creatures in their shiny carapaces, flinging them off from the sculpture and to the floor.

“What are those things!?” Curio gasped for air, holding the strap of his bag like a lifeline.

“Crystal chitons,” Pearl grimaced. “There’s vermin here too.”

“Yeah, and there’s more of them!” Amethyst called from up ahead.

The rest of the group rushed forward, revealing that the landing was covered in dozens of the sharp, periwinkle mollusks.

“This is the core of the infestation,” Garnet surmised as she adjusted her visor. “And we have to pass through it to get to the top.”

“Are we rearin’ fer a fight?” Whip Kirby chirped, envisioning heroic Crystal Gem battles as he spooled his whip. He waddled forward a bit, eager to engage.

“No, Kirby, stay back!” Pearl shot down, blocking Kirby from them with her hand. “Their shells are deadly sharp for organics like you and Curio.”

Whip Kirby nodded in understanding, and in turn blocked Curio. His mission is to escort the professor, safe and sound!

Pearl, seeing her charge was listening to her, turned back towards the group of sharp-shelled creatures.

“Hmm…” she mused. “We can’t risk fracturing their shells, so we’ll need to clear a path around them somehow.”

The pale gem thought for a moment, scanning the floor and wall and ceiling, her forehead gradually intensifying in glow. A bright light beamed from her cabochon, creating a fuzzy, blue-toned mimic of Amethyst.

“Amethyst, if you go around to the side and disturb but don’t hit them with a spin attack…” Pearl intoned as the hologram demonstrated.

“And Garnet,” another fuzzy hologram appeared, a stiff Garnet-like figure that scaled the wall to the curved ceiling, “If you move to the ceiling and strike this exact spot…” A crossed marker popped up adjacent.

A light blue clone of Pearl popped into existence on the floor, and glided across the tile as it’s maker continued, “Then I can advance with my-”

The hologram was disrupted by a spray of brown pebbles that flew in and landed on the inward side of the landing. A sizable amount of the chitons turned and inched towards the particles dirtying the floor.

Tracing the trajectory, the gems turned to find Whip Kirby, twisting and scrunching a blue plastic foil labeled Papa Gronoliin his grasp.

“Granola,” the batamon summarized, opening the wrapper and dumping the broken contents into his paw. Rustling the pieces a bit, he threw chunks of cobbled grains over the chitons and out towards the arches facing the ocean. “Get along, lil’ doodies.”

These too became very distracted crystal chitons. What was once an untamed escargatoire was now gathered into two clumps upon either side of a clear path to the stairs.

“The trail’s happy, Garnet.” Whip Kirby tipped his stetson.

“It sure is.” Garnet smiled down at him. “Let's move, team.”

Pearl dismissed her hologram out of Garnet’s path and looked back at Whip Kirby with a smile of her own. “That was certainly more resourceful and time efficient than what I had in mind.”

“Sorry you had to give up your granola though.” Amethyst empathized. “Would you like some moss to make up for it?”

The purple gem revealed in her hand a wad of floor moss, compacted into a ball like a faintly luminescent snowball. “Look! Like popcorn balls!”

Whip Kirby eyed the ball with a concerning amount of consideration, but was stopped by Pearl.

“Amethyst, don’t feed him that!” Pearl scolded, “We don’t know what it could do to his body.”

“I have someideas.” Garnet proposed vaguely.

Pearl sighed and — taking Kirby by the paw — led the group onwards.

They made their way up the stairs to the next portion of the tower, taking care not to slip on the crumbling, wet stone and moss.

While climbing the steps, Whip Kirby noticed a relief of a person sculpted into the wall… and then another one! After another, he started counting the art pieces, focusing on those as he climbed the steps instead of the conversation about moonstones and “chip-sum” that Pearl and Curio were having between the cappy’s photo shoots. He had counted seven before Garnet stopped the group.

Looking around the chamber they were in, he found that they were at another landing breaking up the sprawling stairs, which weren’t as sprawled anymore – a section of the stairs had crumbled away, leaving a small obelisk of stair standing between the two ridges. Further inspecting the crumbling stairs, Whip Kirby noticed it stood in a channel in the floor that allowed a gentle waterfall feature to bisect the room and flow out of the tower.

Tracing the channel to an arched inlet of the wall, he could barely make out a mural of mosaic tiles Curio was focusing his camera on when, at Garnet’s cry of “watch out”, the mural burst open and let a torrent of water out! He grabbed Curio and pulled him aside as the cappy screamed at the mural’s sudden destruction. The violent flow blasted its way out, sending what remained of the artwork and crumbling stairs out into the sea for further beatings.

In seconds the flow relatively calmed itself, but nonetheless remained a roaring rapids too wide to jump and too strong to wade through.

Amethyst turned and looked at Whip Kirby “You wanna swing across again?”

The little sand-yellow child looked up to the ceiling. Unlike where they entered, there wasn’t a hole to latch his whip in, neither something dangling to lasso onto.

He did notice that on either side of the opposing stairs — specifically where they met the channel’s banks — were remnants of ornately decorated pillars. The stumpy shapes made him wonder if he could lasso onto one and use it like those things you tie boats to… what were they called? Pegs? Posts?

His train of thought was interrupted by a cry of effort and a blur of movement to his left. Another pillar – a complete one, with fancy carvings of ballet dancers and stars and other details – had been knocked over, embedding into the other stairs and bridging the water. Following the length of the felled column, he found a crater in the stonework, rubble from its demolished base, and Garnet.

The awkward silence was killed by a loud cry.

“NOOOOO!!!!!”

Curio’s voice broke as he wailed. The stout man fell to the ground, feebly pounding his fists down in anguish.

“Guh! Y-you can’t break the architecture! It was– it’s history I wanna leearrrn!!!” the scholar wailed in grief.

Whip Kirby went over and began rubbing a paw in circles on his back, careful not to knick the tweed coat with his widdle baby claws.

“Returning the idol will restore the spire to the state it was when the idol was removed.” Garnet soothed monotonously.

Curio raised his head up to look at her. “Wh- what?” he groaned.

“It will fix the pillar.” Garnet reworded.

The grown man inhaled an undignified wet snort. “Really?” He rasped.

“Really really.”

Curio blinked once or twice. “Okay,” He finally said, tiredly.

The scholarly cappy got himself to his foot and spared a moment to compose himself. After dusting himself off with a sniffle, he quietly started walking, avoiding eye contact. As he made it to the base of the toppled pillar, he paused for a second in front of the splintered circumference of stone (“Let’s… let us carry on.”) before trying to hoist himself up.

The second awkward silence was killed as well.

“Well, I believe we should carry on!” Pearl tittered, choosing to forget what happened.

Whip Kirby ran to action, toddling up behind Curio to lend a boost. After helping the cappy up, he hopped up as well, and began leading the man across the improvised path.

“C’mon, sir. We should get there before high noon.” The child countryismed.

“Actually, Kirby, we are in a time zone five hours ahead of Dreamland. It is well past noon here.” Pearl corrected as she observed the sun outside the archways.

Upon locating the sun himself, Whip Kirby could feel his understanding of time leave him as he stood dumbfounded. Time zones?

“However, we still are early.” Optimism poured from the lithe gem. “Unless we face another slew of obstacles, we should reach the summit in no time.”

Whip Kirby tilted his brow. “In time for what?”

“As the name suggests, this spire is attuned to Popstar’s lunar cycle.” Pearl explained, “Consequently, the Moon Priestess idol can only be reintegrated to the Lunar Spire during nightfall, when the moon is overhead. With an ascension of forty-five degrees or greater, if I recall correctly.”

“So… what do we do when we get up there?” Amethyst asked, drawing her eyes towards the ceiling.

“We wait.” Garnet responded.

“Sounds boring.” Amethyst drawled.

Whip Kirby had to agree; waiting for who knows how long on top of a tower did sound boring.

It’s October, he reminded himself. At least it will be dark sooner.

—————— ( o u o )/) ~ * ——————

Fortunately, there weren’t any other obstacles (aside from the physical limits the youngest yet elderliest of the group could fare). After several turns along the cliff-like stairs around the spire’s peak, the five adventurers reached a circular plateau of blue slate rock raised only a handful of meters above sea level.

“And here we are!” Pearl proclaimed as Garnet reached the penultimate step. “The top of the spire!”

Kirby gazed outward. The Onion Ocean stretched across the horizon, lit beautifully by the evening sun. There wasn’t an islet of land for all he could see. After taking a lovely moment to enjoy the marine scenery, he refocused on the tower itself.

The top was mostly empty, save for some zigzag-shaped railings that fenced some of the edge, and a slanted podium opposite the stairs. No moss had reached up here, but there was a small white splotch he was all too familiar with seeing due to seagulls. Whip Kirby steered away from the dried droppings and followed his guides to the podium.

“The pedestal is functional. We just have to wait for the moon to rise,” declared Garnet.

“What do we do until then?” Amethyst groaned.

“We set up camp, I reckon.” Whip Kirby remarked, placing his fanny pack onto the floor.

He began pulling out various supplies — snacks, mostly. Amethyst reached over and stole a snack, munching absentmindedly on a bar of granola, wrapper included. Eventually, Whip Kirby came across the pack of matches, which he gingerly pulled out.

“Hold that, Garnet.” He handed the firestarter to the large gem. “We can start a campfire and rustle up some marshmallows!” He exclaimed happily, already turning to get said marshmallows.

“Alright,” Garnet agreed.

“Kirby, what are you gonna burn for the fire?” Amethyst’s purple eyes surveyed the great ocean blue.

The batamon stopped rummaging, realizing his lack of forethought. An ocean was the last place he would look for firewood… but he’d take any small miracle.

“…Professor? Do you still need your box?” Whip Kirby asked after a moment.

Pearl giggled. “No need to do that Kirby, I always come prepared!” A flash of light came from her gem, and a neat bundle of twigs and a tiny bottle of kerosene materialized in her hands. “Here you go!” She hummed, transferring the objects into nubbly, sand-colored paws.

Whip Kirby undid the bundle’s bindings and arranged the branches in a pile while Garnet pulled a match out from the firestarter. Instead of striking it on the box, she ran it along the length of her right forearm, and left the combusted stick to burn in her palm. After pouring a bit of kerosene on the top of the pile, Whip Kirby backed away and gave a tip of his stetson.

“Alrighty! You can light it now, Garnet.”

The tall maroon gem let the match fall, setting the kindling ablaze. With that, both the campfire and the batamon roared with hunger for melting sugar.

“POYO!”

—————— ( o u o )/) ~ * ——————

After a few hours, a bag of marshmallows was nearly gone, many details had been recanted between two scholars, and Garnet was on her sixth game of solitaire.

Whip Kirby inspected the marshmallows on his stick. His slightly sticky paws turned the rod of wood as he studied how golden the sugary sweets were becoming. With a crisp, golden-brown skin reaching nearly all around, the marshmallows were nearing perfection. After a few seconds more of toasting, Whip Kirby judged them to be done.

Kirby was bathed by the light of the fire and the talking of the adults as he popped the sweets in his mouth.

As he did so, a few words caught his attention, “So then, the moonstones and the –”

“Whuffa moomphome?” Whip Kirby distractedly mumbled through mushy mouthfuls of masticated marshmallows.

Pearl paused, wincing. “Kirby. Swallow.”

The batamon swallowed the sugary froth. “What’s a moonstone?”

“You weren’t listening?” Curio asked in turn with timid incredulity.

Whip Kirby shook his head dumbly. Reckon I should’ve been listening.

“I would prefer you were more attentive, Kirby, but I also wouldn’t mind repeating myself for you.” Pearl couldn’t help but smile.

“I’m all ears!” Whip Kirby smiled, adjusting himself to look attentive.

“Moonstones were clergy members of the old gem nobility.” Pearl explained eagerly. “The Moon Priestess statue depicts a moonstone. Specifically the one that used to reside here on Popstar.” She pointed to the ground.

Whip Kirby wondered vaguely if that meant the neighboring planets had moonstones too. Ripple Star maybe? No, gems are rock people, his money would be best put on Rock Star…

”Each gem colony had at least one moonstone to keep records of the celestials. They worked from spires like this one, where they would chart the different moon cycles and how the apsis — change in distance — of the satellites would affect planetary phenomena.” Pearl rambled. “Like how the moon’s gravity affects the tides.”

Whip Kirby blinked. “So she worked here? In this big empty place?”

Pearl waved her hand. “She wasn’t alone. She had many other gems working here for her.”

“She was their manager then?” He tilted his head quizzically.

Pearl’s face twisted in consideration “Managers? Hmm… sort of. Given the extents of their administrative reaches, moonstones are more akin to governors slash astronomers.”

Whip Kirby mulled it over. “...Like Mister Shine and Mister Bright?”

“Yes, except moonstones actually managed things.”

The batamon’s mouth “O”-ed in understanding.

Pearl continued, “Like other gems positioned in charge of spires, moonstones oversaw their own entourage of gypsum. Under the watch of their moonstone, these gems would spend their days documenting Popstar’s skyscape, and compare to the older charts made by gypsum on other far away systems.”

“The gems that congregated here would spend ages on end looking to the stars. Not even the solar cycle could disturb their work; you see, with the idol in place, the pedestal generates a firmament around the bounds of the Lunar Spire that will filter sunlight out, granting an unpolluted view of the cosmos… as can be seen now!”

Whip Kirby followed Pearl’s outstretched hand, surprised to find the sky was a black canvas streaked with colorful nebulae and sprinkled with millions of stars. In the east, the chalky dot of the moon stood overhead, hovering between the constellations of Mycomeda and Casserolia.

“Whoa. It’s… dark.”

The batamon turned to a snickering sound, finding the purple gem tearing and eating the empty plastic bag like transparent tufts of cotton candy.

“How did you just notice that?” Amethyst laughed.

He just shrugged. “It wasn’t like that when I sat down.”

“The moon is in position.” Garnet announced as she sat cross-legged. She turned her head left, towards Curio. “Professor?”

The cappy stood up, mustering a courageous look. “Time to return her home,” he declared, passing the moonstone statuette over to the Crystal Gems’ leader.

With the idol in hand, she turned right, towards Whip Kirby.

“Kirby?” Garnet smiled. “Would you like to place the idol?”

A light twinkled in Whip Kirby’s eyes like a polished spur. “Poyo!” He exclaimed.

Tiny, sandy-furred paws stretched out expectantly and the Moon Priestess Idol eased into their grasp. Cradling the idol to his body with one paw, Whip Kirby used the other to grab Curio’s wooden box (he was too short to reach the pedestal) and dragged it over to the centerpiece of the spire’s summit. Hopping onto the box, the stetsoned batamon took as wide of a stance as he could without falling. His beady blue eyes scrutinized the pedestal, his free paw caressing the stubble on his chin (which frankly wasn’t longer than any other patch of fur on his body) in apparent thought.

“You can do it.” Pearl cheered from the sidelines, hiding a hint of confusion.

The batamon took his time as he held the statue in his outstretched arm, continuing to leer cautiously at the glowing stand as he gently inching the statue its way overhead.

“What is he doing?” Curio inquired, trying to ascertain the strange ritual.

“It’s not a gem practice,” the similarly clueless Pearl deduced.

Garnet smiled at the antics. “It’s a timeless pop culture reference,” she supplied.

Suddenly and swiftly, Kirby centered the idol, leaving it as he pulled his paw away from an imaginary trap. The culetted gemstone in the figure’s grasp began to glow bright, each crystalline face of the mini moonstone shining with a periwinkle luster. The little adventurer got down and stood back to marvel upon his work, giving a cool adjustment of his stetson as good measure. The underlight of the pedestal grew in brightness, growing until a solid-looking beacon of light rose into the air barely interrupted by the idol’s shadow. The beam of light stretched into the night sky, arcing towards the moon as the satellite became accentuated by the glow.

For a second, Whip Kirby thought looking at the moon was blurring his vision, but he became certain of something going on as he made out the sight of a translucent clone of the giant white globe gently backtracking the original’s orbit.

“The–! There’s another moon!” Whip Kirby amazed. Professor Curio was frantically taking pictures with his camera.

“With the idol returned, the spire is being restored to its initial state,” Pearl watched in her own awe. “The pedestal is just projecting a visual of its progress to us. That is where it was in the last few hours.”

Even Amethyst was watching closely as the ghostly image retraced the lunar orbit. Within a moment or two, the visual vanished as it went past the eastern horizon. The spectators turned to the west, and waited until the translucent orb reared its head, moving just faster than it was when it left. The moon gradually sped up, arcing across the sky to disappear again. It came back, looped, and it looped again. Soon, the holo-moon was soaring at a constant speed, making another orbit every few seconds.

Eventually, the awe wore off of Kirby, as the minutes stretched and the restoration continued. “…Is it done yet?” he spoke up, dumbly watching the nth pass overhead.

“Well, this job is done,” Amethyst dusted her hands against each other as she turned to the team leader. “Can we head back now, Garnet?”

The maroon gem shook her head. “No. It’s too dangerous to get caught in the path of the spire’s regeneration while the chitons are being displaced. We have to wait until the sedimentation is done and the path back is complete.”

A groan groaned from Groanethyst’s groan box. “That’s gonna take a while, won’t it?”

Everyone was silent as Garnet looked to the sky, humming in thought.

“There are a lot of nights in a hundred years.” Garnet summarized.

The holo-moon continued to lap the sky at its stagnant pace.

“You can play solitaire with me, if you’d like.”

—————— ( o u o )/) ~ * ——————

Five hours of thirty-six and a half thousand simulated days later, the Lunar Sea Spire was left looking as it did the day its last stone was set. The band responsible looked worse for wear, as the five adventurers returned to Dreamland to retire for what remained of the night. While Garnet escorted Curio home by taking a warp to the pad on the outskirts of Cappy Town, the other Crystal Gems returned to the warp pad at the Crystal Temple’s door. The crystal platform lit up the dim lighting of the beach house, transporting them in an illuminating gleam.

“BWAKKK!” squawked the canary startled by the sudden illumination of the warp pad.

“Tokkori!” Pearl hissed hushedly. “Kirby’s sleeping.” Indeed, the batamon slumbered in Pearl’s arms, having since shed the red hat and golden fur of his Whip ability.

“And my heart’s still beating, lucky that!” the bird snapped.

Pearl scoffed and focused on the light Tokkori was standing in. The kitchen light was on, illuminating the counter the canary stood on with a blue-cloaked batamon slumped onto it.

“Meta Knight? Is something wrong?”

There was no response, save for a slight sigh.

“Him? He’s drinkin’ his sorrows away!” Tokkori laughed, perching on an empty glass bottle.

“It’s milk.” The elder batamon showed off a shot glass filled with said white nectar, but neglected to raise his forehead from the countertop.

“What’s the deal, MK?” Amethyst raised an eyebrow semi-worriedly.

“I tried to stop the king, to speak reason to dim, but de wouldn’t listen.”  Meta Knight sighed again, his gloves cinching down on his glass. “De was stuck in dis ways, and now nothing can be done.”

Pearl stilled, remembering their prior troubles with the King of Dreamland. Even before dis coronation, de was worse to deal with than dis father and grandfather combined.

“Nothing’s not a thing we do!” Amethyst declared indignantly. “What did the big blue buffoon do this time!?”

Meta Knight rose his head and spoke:

“King Dedede has ordered the construction of a beach resort and boardwalk.”

—————— *~ (\(>u<)/) ~* ——————

To Be Continued 

Chapter Text

Within a week, plans of commercially-available paradise were underway. The King of Dreamland was so happy with the progress so far, that de issued a (mandatory) summons for all in dis court.

“What?! A boardwalk?!” Kirby gasped into his phone.

“It’s not even done yet, but Dedede is demanding everyone come today…” Fumu complained from the other end.

“Everyone?” Kirby wiggled, already imagining a huge boardwalk party and whatever that may entail. Mostly food.

“Well, everyone in the Royal Cabinet. Dad; Mom; and I think your dad was called.” Fumu huffed. “They’re dragging me and Bun along too.”

Kirby whipped towards the stairs that went up from his mezzanine to the small second floor that was his father’s room. “DAAAD! YOU’RE GOING TO THE BEACH?” he yelled, covering his phone with a paw so as not to deafen Fumu.

“Kirby, we live on a beach.” Meta Knight’s voice sounded through the wood paneling.

“NO, TO THE BOARDWALK!”

Kirby definitely didn’t hear his father whisper a Pearl-prohibited word, no sir. He did however hear his door open and close, and watched as his masked parent trod down the steps with a book closed under arm. Flustered green eyes met the questioning blue ones of a curious child.

“I– I forgot to mention that…” Meta Knight lied.

“Dad! Can I come?” Kirby grinned.

“It would be more tolerable with you there, Kirby…” Fumu’s voice came from the phone.

Meta Knight’s eyes flicked between the phone and his son.

“Is that Fumu?”

Kirby nodded. “Sir Ebrum is taking her and Bun to a boardwalk and she said you’re going too. Can I go… three?”

There was a moment’s pause, 

“If your friends will be there, I don’t see why I would say no.”

“Yay!” Kirby cheered. “I’ll see you there, Fumu!” he said, closing his flip phone soon after.

“The boardwalk is a good way away in East County. We won’t be there on time if we go on foot, and we can’t warp…” Meta Knight trailed off.

The blue knight turned, dramatically swishing his cape. “To the Halberd!” He enthused, only partially for the sake of his child.

—————— ( o u o )/) ~ * ——————

Meta Knight’s glove reached out and pressed a button against the wall. 

With a roar of motors, the hangar’s door pulled open, gradually letting the morning sun shine in and illuminate the father’s prized transport. It was a bulky thing painted silver and purple (a very yummy shade that reminded Kirby of grapes), with accents of gold and pink spread about.

Meta Knight turned to his son. “Kirby, time to board!”

Kirby saluted, then opened the passenger side door.

As he hopped in, Kirby was brimming with excitement. It was always nice to ride in his dad’s van!

Kirby belted himself in (all by himself!), while his dad did the same. 

Gently patting the steering wheel, Meta Knight asked his child if he was ready.

“Mmm-hmm!” Kirby hummed affirmatively.

The engine started with a smooth rumble. “Then we shall depart.” 

—————— ( o u o )/) ~ * ——————

Kirby pressed against the window as the fields of grass siding the road faded into a swath of sand. A once empty beach was now sprinkled with new sights. 

An array of piers began to trace the ocean’s edge, growing longer with each peg and board set along the coastline. Bungalows and large wooden frames were being erected by the pier and cliffside, overlooking the mid-morning waves. Construction workers were everywhere, with Bronto Burts ferrying tools and supplies as the Waddle Dees pulled and pushed and poured and hammered and sawed in every nook Kirby could lay his eyes on.

Before all this at the start of the beach’s slope was a little encampment of cars, some of which he had seen around Cappy Town or at Castle Dedede one time or another. It was there that the Halberd came to a stop, parking right next to a familiar 1987 Cappillac El Daedalea.

Kirby undid his seatbelt and pawed open the door to the Halberd . His rosy red paws made a soft thump as he exited the vehicle and landed in the sand.

He smiled to himself, enjoying the familiar sensation of warm grains of sand shifting under his feet.

“Kirby! Over here!” a young voice called, breaking him free of his appreciation of nature.

Kirby eagerly turned to see Bun, who was next to his sister Fumu and their parents. All of them gave a friendly wave, which Kirby returned as he waddled up to them, Meta Knight silently following.

“Fumu said you were comin’! I’m glad! You make these boring adult things so much easier, y’know?” The little boy commented. “Mom and Dad aren’t letting us play right now – they keep on saying we have to listen to what that stupid ol’ king’s gonna say… But with you here we can at least have some fun!” 

“That is if Dedede doesn’t do something weird again…” Fumu complained.

“Now, children…” Sir Ebrum chided. “I know Dis Majesty isn’t the most… insightful of people, but we simply must listen to him. It is our duty. You both can play with Kirby after the speech.” 

The cabinet minister winced at the sound of metal pipes clattering as they fell out of the grasp of an overencumbered Waddle Dee.

“That said,” he continued, glancing around at the piles of construction materials laid across the sand. “You should probably play in a… quieter section of the beach after this.” 

“Maybe we shouldn’t have brought the kids to a construction site.” Lady Like judged.

Her husband frowned. “The king implied it was in a more… finished state.” he attempted to defend himself. 

“I thought you are supposed to introduce children to creative outlets?” Kirby’s father asked.

Several pairs of eyes turned to him, unsure if he was joking.

“Sir Meta Knight, you’re not wrong… but you are. ”

The conversation was cut off by the blasting sound of another engine. Before Kirby could guess that King Dedede was coming in on dis limousine, a gold-plated mechanical monster on two wheels soared past them. Everyone shielded their eyes from the chrome motorcycle that was driving donuts into the sand and reflecting the sun’s light everywhere. Kirby could barely make out the similarly armored and hazardously edged character at the handlebars.

“I see Sir Kibble has arrived as well,” Lady Like almost whimpered.

“Memu, honey, let us carry on.” her husband ushered. The pair hurriedly shuffled away, gently corralling Fumu and Bun by their shoulders.

“Kirby, let’s go.” Meta Knight whispered, offering his open palm. 

Kirby took the offered hand and turned his sight from the circling speeder. Dad always says: stay away from Sir Kibble.

As everyone made their way away from Sir Kibble, another engine roar blasted them – the telltale eight-cylindered sound of King Dedede’s limousine. VROOOM! The vehicle deafened those near as it swooped in front of Sir Kibble’s motorcycle and took the spotlight. Kirby could barely read the words HMS Eggshell blazoned in excessively-swirling black font on the side.

“Okay, the enturage has done its enturaging. Now cut the outrage!” Dedede bellowed, mispronouncing dis French.

“Yes, milord!” the boisterous voice of Sir Kibble caved, followed by a sudden silence and a thud.

There was a beat as Dedede and Escargoon observed their audience in the relative silence, before Escargoon cleared his throat phlegmily. “Thank you all for coming to the latest and greatest of Dis Majesty’s endeavors!”

The silence of the crowd was broken by the thunderous clapping of Governor Bright, who had inexplicably joined them.

“And what is the crown’s latest endeavor?” said a corpulent pink creature, fluttering over on blue wings with smaller Bronto Burts in his wake. “This seems to be nothing more than a littered yard.”

Escargoon’s eyestalk twitched. “It’s a work in progress , Burtomeister.”

“Isn’t it too early to celebrate?” Governor Cookie asked innocently, holding the hems of her kimono out of the sand as she skittered over.

“No! This is the Pre-Opening Celebration of the Dedede Resort and Boardwalk!” Dedede smiled beakily.

Governor Bright was still clapping.

Dedede waited a moment, glancing around as if expecting more people to applaud, but no one else said anything.

“Where are the colored women?” Dedede squinted.

“The Gems are occupied with an investigation, King Dedede,” Meta Knight said, ignoring as Governor Shine appeared, shoving at Governor Bright’s clapping hands.

“A dismal turnout, My Liege!” Shine called out towards the limo. “I would have done bounds more for you!”

“The stones have been set. There is nothing you can do,” Bright growled.

Dedede blinked. “Anyyyyyways… I guess they jus’ won’t get tah see the boardwalk. But all’a y’all will! Follow me!” He exited dis limo, dragging Escargoon casually behind dim.

With a collective sigh, the captive audience followed as the king led them across the sand.

“See, Kirby? This is going to blow,” huffed Bun.

“Bun. Language,” Lady Like chided.

Bun crossed his arms in a sulk.

The king and his snail ushered the crowd to a slightly more complete looking area. They trode a cobbled path of polished sandstones that ran between two rows of wooden kiosks. A troop of Waddle Dees nailing paneling and weaving thatch roofs together looked up and saluted the king. 

While everything had yet to be furnished, painted, or anything like that, it was coming along surprisingly nicely, at least for Dedede.

“It may look like a selfish pat on the back for the king, but The Dedede Resort and Boardwalk is an effort put forth by the crown which will encourage tourism, trade, and business! Resorts and boardwalks are where the money’s at nowadays!” Escargoon smirked.

“Oh! That makes sense!” Caterine praised genuinely.

“It sure does!” Governors Bright and Shine chorused.

“Ah, to travel,” Sir Ebrum noddeed nostalgically. “A flourishing tourist industry would do wonders for the kingdom’s economy!”

“With that kind of income from tourists, perhaps we could ease tax rates in the county?” Mayor Blustergas proposed optimistically.

“Moving on!” Escargoon slithered.

“I can’t wait to meet the new people!” Kirby whispered to Fumu and Bun.

Fumu’s frown lightened a bit. “I guess that would be nice.”

Escargoon shuffled the crowd towards where the sand met the pier, ignoring any protests or other comments. “As this resort is the brain hatchling of Dis Majesty, it is just that de be the one to lead the tour. King Dedede?...”

“So! As yall’s can see,” Dedede gestured, “Da boardwalk here has its walk all set up! Plenty of boards.”

The portly penguin placed dis flippers on the first plank, looking back triumphantly at the crowd.

His audience didn’t seem quite as enthused as he would like, however. 

Dedede frowned, and was about to encourage his subjects to cheer, when suddenly… an earthquake began to shake the beach! 

Everyone on the ground (aside from the stagnant forms of Bright and Shine) wobbled on their feet, a few falling over. As the tremor shook the area, several Waddle Dees fell as well, one of them even punching a small hole in a partially-finished roof as it slipped. Startled squeaking from below thankfully signaled it was ok.

“What happened?” asked a confused Governor Burtomeister as he fluttered in the air. 

“Tremors!” Mayor Blustergas sputtered, helping his wife to her foot.

Dedede looked at dis fallen subjects, sweating through his feathers.

“Uh… dat’s just tick-on-it activity!” (“Tectonic, sire.”)

“This is the third one today!” Governor Shine feigned fainting before sneering in Bright’s direction. “That’s what happens when you build on… unstable land. ”

Governor Bright was about to retort, when Escargoon (thankfully) interrupted.

“Do not worry! Dis Majesty will have dis top men scouring for the source of this shaking!” The snail declared.

“The Crystal Gems have been in search of what has been causing these tremors since they started,” Meta Knight snubbed. “I’m sure they’ll help whoever you have in mind?”

Escargoon didn’t answer, but his purple face did turn a tinge red.

“We don’t need their meddlin’!” Dedede snapped.

Just then, another tremor began to shake the land! It wasn’t much worse than the first, but a Waddle Dee did drop a paint can…

…directly on the king’s head! Dis face turned red with anger (and yellow with Delightful Moon #2).

“WHAT THA HELL ARE YA DOIN’?!?!” Dedede sputtered loudly. 

“Ah! Sorry! Sorry, Your Majesty!" The Waddle Dee flustered, waving its paws frantically in apology as the king fumed.

The crowd of onlookers suppressed their snickers as the now yellow penguin pulled out a large hammer from dis robes.

“Gimme a ladder!” De yelled to a pair of Waddle Dee workers, waving his hammer threateningly at the one on the roof. 

“Yes Sir!” 

“Eeek!”

Escargoon wiped a handkerchief to the globs on his shell. “The dry cleaning is coming out of your salary,” he hissed to a foreman before slithering after the king.

“And I suppose that concludes our tour…” Fumu snarked tiredly, as the king became thoroughly distracted.

The rest of the crowd began to disperse, wise to the knowledge that the crown would be busy for a while. 

Lady Like paused as she fell a small hand tug on her dress. “Mom, can we play in the sand a bit before we go back home?” Bun asked.

“Well…” Lady Like considered. “As long as you stay away from the construction, then yes.” 

“Yeah! C’mon sis, Kirby!” Bun began dragging his elder sibling towards the sea. 

“Hey, watch it Bun!”

“I’m going with Bun and Fumu, Dad!” Kirby yelled happily to Meta Knight, who had been watching, not even five feet away.

“Alright.” His father agreed.

The trio of adults watch as their offspring skipped off to play in the surf.

The peace was ruined when the large Bronto Burt huffed behind them. “Sir Ebrum? Could you tell this cappy this will just be another failed investment of His Majesty?”

Mayor Blustergas gasped. “On the contrary!”

—————— ( o u o )/) ~ * ——————

Kirby happily giggled as he kicked a bit of seafoam made by the tides. 

Visiting the beach was always a delight! Plenty of warm water, pretty seashells, and… spare nails?

What?

“Those Waddle Dees…” Fumu frowned, picking up a nail, “They’re usually good at cleaning up after themselves, but they keep leaving these around…”

Bun looked up from the sandcastle he and Kirby were mushing together, catching sight of the thin metal rod in his sister’s hand. “You found another one?” He perked up. “Put it in the moat. We’re making a spike pit in there.”

Fumu glanced over at him, “Didn’t King Dedede outlaw those?” 

“Mhm.” Kirby nodded, arranging more nails in a channel in the sand. 

“Hmm.” Fumu bent over to pick up yet another nail. “Regardless, we really should let the foreman know about this… We can’t leave these lying around!”

Bun groaned, “You’re always killing our fun!”

“Bun.” Fumu said sternly. “You don’t want to step on a nail and get tetanus, do you? Let’s go ask the foreman for a bucket to put these in.” She gestured to the nails.

“I got a bucket. Here you go.” Kirby smiled, offering a bucket printed with the king’s emblem and the text Dedede-molition & Construction .

“Why are you giving that to her?” Bun grumbled. “I don’t even know what tetniss is…”

“It’s an infection you get from metal.” She explained. “It can get really bad. Like “lose a limb” bad.”

Bun looked slightly unnerved. “H-how do you know that?”

Fumu suddenly had a far off look. “It isn’t worth reading the medical books Dr. Yabui has.” She shuddered, recalling the diagrams. Oh god, the diagrams…

She shook herself out of her thoughts. “Anyways, we don’t want anyone to get hurt, so let’s clean some of this up… Okay Bun? Kirby?”

The two reluctantly nodded and began depositing nails into the bucket.

The trio moved across the beach, sifting the sand for hidden nails.

“Stupid sis, turning playtime into clean time…” Bun mumbled, salty as the sea.

“I can hear yo–whoahp!” Fumu fell face first into the sand mid scolding. 

“You okay?” Bun asked.

Fumu sputtered sand off her lips, leering at a metal fin sticking out of the sand. Pulling at the offending object, the three stared dumbly at the Waddle Dee-sized claw hammer in Fumu’s hand.

“Are you kidding me? An entire hammer?! Urgh! I’m going to have a word with those darn Dees!” Fumu snarled and began to march towards the boardwalk.

“Let’s ask them for another bucket,” Kirby whispered to Bun, still thinking about their sand castle.

Fumu made her way, with Kirby and Bun following, to the nearest group of Waddle Dees and Bronto Burts, the score of workers buzzing and busying around as they erected frames for a new building. Kirby looked warily to the struggling quartet of Dees heaving a large wooden beam into place using pulleys and scaffolding.

“Hey!” Fumu barked. “ Heeey! ”

The sound of hammers and saws stopped as a few dozen eyes turned to face the eleven-year-old yelling at them.

“Miss Ebrum, you’re not wearing a hard hat,” one spoke up.

“Well, I should be; you guys are dropping things all over the place!” 

Some Dees began checking with each other and looking over the scaffolding for anything they dropped. Guilty looks began to wash over some of the Burts’ faces.

“Where’s the foreman here?” 

A Dee with a blue triangle sticker on her hard hat rose her hand. “The foreman’s not here, but I’m in charge of this building.” 

“Well tell the foreman you guys are dropping a bunch of nails in the sand!”

Kirby showed off the bucket to the troop, several dozen nails rattling inside. The Dees began chattering amongst themselves.

“Oh my, that’s quite a few.”

“I didn’t drop all that.” 

“Me neither. I’m using screws.”

The head Waddle Dee took the bucket and bowed apologetically. “I’m sorry, Miss Ebrum, but the king said we’re not liable for anyone getting hurt unless it's the king.”

“What do you mean? You can’t be “not liable” for something like this!” Fumu steamed.

“Well, at least no one’s hurt,” Not-Foreman Waddle Dee said resolutely, placing the bucket on a workbench.

As if summoned by the gods, another earthquake began.

Construction equipment rattled and Dees stumbled, the bucket of nails nearly toppling.

“Ack!! Watch out!” A nearby Waddle Dee called as a rope slipped from its grasp. The other rope was held firm, but the loose rope let the end of the support beam swing down the children’s way. Fumu and Bun froze as the hefty log’s shadow loomed above them. They closed their eyes with a wince, unwilling to see their own demise…

KERTHUNK!

The loud noise of the beam crashing against something rattled Fumu and Bun, but neither felt any pain. Instead, they opened their eyes to find everything rose-tinted as a shimmering pink bubble encapsulating them.

Kirby – possibly the source of the bubble – stood between them with his paws held up in a determined manner. 

“You guys ok?!” The puffball asked them with concern.

“I… I think so!” Fumu patted herself down, then checked Bun. “Y-yeah, we’re ok…”

Kirby smiled with obvious relief. 

“Wait…” Bun finally shook himself out of his shock. “Why are we in a bubble, though? Is this a new power?”

“Huh?” Kirby said dumbly, seeming to only then realize they were surrounded by pink.

He looked around. Indeed, the three of them were inside a smooth, pink orb.

Chattering, slightly muffled voices came from outside the bubble.

“What just happened?!” a Bronto Burt questioned.

“Are they okay?” asked a Dee, dangling from the loose rope by the ankle.

“I think I lost some of my lifespan…” The not-foreman croaked to herself.

“Whoa, it busted the log!” Bun exclaimed. The beam, still dangling from one rope, was splintered mid way.

Kirby blinked. I broke that? He processed looking over splinters in the sand. How much is this out of my allowance?

“It’s a good thing Kirby was here…” Fumu managed. She wrapped her arms around her friend.  “Thank you, Kirby.”

“Yeah, thanks Kirby! Uh, anyways, pop this thing and let’s get back to the castle.”

Kirby blanched. He didn’t know how he got this bubble here. How will it go?

The batamon reached a paw towards the bubble wall, a stubby white claw outreached. The ivory appendage slid against the bubble without so much as a scratch. Pressing his weight into his paw did nothing more than roll the ball enough to knock everyone in it off their feet.

“Watch your elbow, Bun!” Fumu complained.

Pulling his face from what was now down, Kirby flitted his tongue out, testing with a lick. It didn’t taste like soap. It tasted like a plate, or a bag of marbles.

“Kirby… you… don’t know how to pop it, do you?” Fumu deadpanned.

Reluctantly Kirby turned back to her and nodded.

One Waddle Dee waddled up with a hammer, tapping the clawed end against the translucent pink curvature. Instead of the bubble bursting with a pop of any volume, the hammer slid along the surface with a scrapping shrill before the metal chipped. The bubble was unblemished.

“Huh.” It commented.

Fumu frowned. “I don’t think trying to break it will work. Look, let’s get out of this construction and go find an adult to help us.”

The trio carefully began rolling the pink ball away from the barren frame and onto the boardwalk. 

“Sir Kibble’s got that mohawk thing, maybe that could pop this…” Bun mused

“No! You know dad’s rule about that guy!” Fumu insisted. “We need someone else.” 

“Why, hello children!” A deep voice called. The children turned to find the cyclopic visage of Captain Waddle Doo sitting at a table outside a just completed tiki bar.

“Waddle Doo! Can you help us?” Fumu asked. “Kirby summoned this bubble, but now he can’t make it go away!”

“It answered a summons, you say?” Captain Doo scratched his chin, his large eye appraising the large pink orb. “Have you asked it to go away or to stay around?”

Fumu’s hope and patience began to die. “It’s a bubble, you can’t just tell one to pop or not!”

“Alas, they work in the opposite. I’ve found that no matter how much you ask for bubbles to stay, they always go and pop themselves in spite of your pleas.” Waddle Doo sighed, closing his eye wistfully.

“Are you okay, Sir?” Kirby asked, frankly concerned.

“I’m fine, Kirby.” Captain Doo looked back up. “Your affairs are of concern right now, not mine.”

The Doo hopped down from his chair, taking stumbling steps in a circle around the bubble, looking it up and down. “You tell me you summoned this bubble; how so?”

“A big log fell on us, but I came in and the bubble appeared, and the log didn’t fall on us because it protected us,” Kirby elaborated in one breath, complete with appropriate pantomiming.

“So this bubble appeared to protect you three. Does it feel like the bubble has served its purpose?” Captain Doo questioned.

Kirby thought this over for a second. He looked up to where the sun’s light glistened of the bubble, revering the pink construct from a new angle. Maybe it needed a thank you?

“Thank you Mr. Bubble for taking care of me and my friends! Arigatō gozaimasu! ” Kirby bowed to the bubble.

There was a moment of awkward silence save for the crash of gentle waves as Kirby held his pose.

“Perhaps it has an unfinished purpose...” Captain Doo mused.

The elder Ebrum child huffed. “Kirby made it, and he can unmake it. He just doesn’t know how .”

“I know!” Waddle Doo exclaimed, “Are you holding the left or right bumpers?”

Fumu stared blankly. 

Bun cocked his head. “... What? Bumpers?”

“Yeah, marked as “L” and “R”. Or maybe “ZL” and “ZR”?”

“Like my GameCube?” Kirby chirped.

“What are you talking about?!” Fumu fumed.

“I dunno. I just read it somewhere that said whatever those are, they’re important.” The Doo shrugged.

“Well, they’re not important! Not to this!” She snapped.

“Just use your sword to pop it!” Bun cried, exasperated.

Waddle Doo swiftly pulled his sword from its scabbard with a concerning amount of haste and clumsiness for the children’s tastes.

Without hesitation, the captain backed up and began a crooked lunge towards the bubble.

The children watched with varying levels of confusion as he inexpertly hacked and slashed at the shining pink orb, nearly falling over at times.

The Doo suddenly stopped.

“Why, I’ll be…” The captain trailed off as he studied the absolute lack of damage done to the bubble. He errantly tossed the blade to the side.

“Let me get something bigger,” he said, waddling back towards his seat. 

Their eyes trailing towards Waddle Doo’s table, it was only then that the children noticed sitting on top was a large brandy glass filled with a fruity blue liquid and garnished with lemon slices.

“That’s a big bowl…” Bun squeaked.

“Yeah, and it’s got good stuff! This is my second one.” Waddle Doo said cheerily, before heaving it over his head.

Fumu’s eyes widened. “Are you drunk?”

“Lady Like, I told you; I’ve only downed one!” Waddle Doo declared.

Fumu gave a sigh that carried all the pain an eleven-year old could muster in the face of an adult.

The inebriated captain seemed to take that as his cue to throw the bowl at the bubble, whereupon it shattered into a million pieces as it rained an azure cocktail in front of the children.

Kirby watched the pretty colors of the drink, tinted purple as it dripped down the pink surface.

The three children looked back to Waddle Doo, who was still standing on his chair with his eye screwed shut.

“Did it work, children?”

“We need someone else.”

—————— ( o u o )/) ~ * ——————

“The Dede-tiki Fruit Bar is up and running, Your Majesty,” chirped a Waddle Dee sporting a serving tray and a welt on the head. “Your mimosa.”

“Bout time.” The king grumbled, taking it in his new pair of gloves. “We need to get that Ketumatian barbeque goin’ too.”

A second Waddle Dee wearing a pineapple hat ran up, whispering in the first’s earhole and pointing down the boardwalk. 

“Excuse us, sirs,” they pardoned before waddling away.

“While you’re at that, tell them to get that grill goin’ or they’ll face a real grillin!” The king yelled around the wet washcloth cleaning dis beak. “Escargoon, get that outta my mouth! I’m tasting lead!”

The king’s slimy servant hastily apologized, taking the washcloth away.

Dedede still felt dirty, however, so de snatched the washcloth back, rubbing minute specks of paint off dimself. Escargoon in turn, took a second washcloth from the Waddle Dee polishing the king’s flippers. The sunchair rattled on the pier’s boards as another tremor rocked the beach. Snail and penguin winced as water splashed from Escargoon’s bucket onto the drying blue feathers of the king’s belly.

“Maybe I shoulda gone with Shine’s beach.” Dedede grumbled, dis washcloth wringing in dis fist. “Speaking of them; where has Bright gone off to?” 

“Governor Bright is over there, sire.” Escargoon pointed to a section of the beach. “For the last hour he’s been shoveling from the water the sand that Governor Shine is shoveling into the water.”

Dedede paused in dis preening. “Is… is one of them winnin’?”

Escargoon’s eyestalk squinted. “They’ve moved a bit up the beach, I think.”

Dedede glanced over at the beach where the two governors were squabbling. De watched, somewhat bored as one tackled the other, and they began drowning each other in the surf.

“Huh, I didn’t know he could boil water…” De commented.

“Ugh! Put a shirt on!” a young voice suddenly called.

Dedede whipped dis head around, blinking as light glared in dis eyes. De put up a hand to shield dimself from the unexpected reflection.

When dis eyes adjusted, de lowered dis hand, revealing a large, pink…

“Why are you in a hamster ball?” Dedede said, baffled.

The children contained in said ball frowned.

“It’s a bubble!” Kirby chirped.

A smirk adopted Dedede’s face as de noticed the small batamon inside. Fumu and Bun grimaced as the fat shirtless body of the king wobbled over in a pair of swim trunks. 

De placed a hand on the bubble, and with swift jolts, rocked the ball back and forth, sending Kirby on his face and the Ebrum children on their rears.

“Heh heh heh!” De cackled at the batamon. “How’d you get in a thing like this?”

Kirby rolled onto his back and met dis eyes naïvely. “A big log fell on us, but I came in and the bubble—”

“Kirby!” Fumu shouted, scrambling against the wall, “He’s not going to help us! Get away from him.”

Dedede glared at the girl before dis gaze turned mischievously back towards dis reinforced sunchair.

“Hey Kirby? Ya ever played croquet?” Dedede said wickedly as de pulled out dis beloved hammer from beneath the seat.

THWACK

“WAAAAHHHHH!!!” The startled children cried as the bubble was sent flying over the Onion Ocean. The afternoon sun’s light glistened through it until several yards away, it hit the water with a resounding splash.

As the king guffawed at the fleeting glimpse de had of Kirby’s startled face, the duke slithered over by dis side startlingly fast for a gastropod.

“Sire, the cabinet minister’s children were in there!” Escargoon cried, aghast.

“Eh, those balls are made of plastic. They’ll float.” Dedede shrugged, leaning on dis mallet.

The “plastic ball” began to sink like a marble, the dazed faces of the children disappearing under the water. Soon, the entire orb was out of view. Only air bubbles signaled their continued existence.

Escargoon boggled. “ ...Sire. ” He whined.

“But they float!” The king said helplessly.

—————— ( o u o )/) ~ * ——————

The dinghy rocked when a purple Squishy was pulled from the water and latched onto the portside. Pulling the fishing hook out of its mouth, it spoke.

“Nothing but coral, P.”

“We just have to keep trying, Amethyst,” Pearl sighed as she spooled the fishing line back onto the rod. “If only there was an easier way to do this…”

Squishethyst turned to the boat’s other occupant. “Where’re we going now?” 

Garnet didn’t check the nautical chart with Pearl, instead staring off into the east.

“We might need to go back ashore.” Garnet declared nonchalantly.

Pearl looked up from the chart. “Why? Did something happen?”

Garnet was silent for a moment as Amethyst flopped into the boat, causing it to dip.

“Kirby may have found Spodumene.”

Pearl dropped the fishing rod on the floor, nearly hitting Amethyst on the mantle.

—————— ( o u o )/) ~ * ——————

As Kirby recollected himself, he quickly noticed something was amiss. Namely that they were underwater and descending at a worrying pace to the bottom of the ocean floor. Checking on the fellow occupants of the bubble, he found Bun gazing out into the open waters as Fumu craned her head up, watching the Onion Ocean’s surface rise away.

“Oh stars,” She whimpered,

“Look at the ocean. It’s so cool like this.” Bun amazed, pressing against the glassy surface.

“Cool!?” Fumu whipped towards her brother. “We’re going to run out of air if we don’t get out!”

The dread of that realization paled the boy’s face. 

Kirby had an inexplicable feeling that was incorrect and attempted to soothe his friends. 

“Don’t worry! It’s magic!” He waved his paws towards the panicked children.

“Magic? But that – that doesn’t necessarily mean we're safe!” Fumu worried.

“But I always want you safe, and I think my magic knows that!” Kirby smiled happily. “Me and my magic will protect you!”

Fumu and Bun stared at him, then looked at each other with a smile of their own. Despite the circumstances, they couldn't help but feel reassured by the batamon. Something about him always seemed to inspire them.

“Alright, so we have that helping us, but we have to somehow get to the surface… We can figure this out!” Fumu declared.

“Do you think maybe we needed those bumper things Waddle Doo was talking about?” Bun asked, only somewhat sarcastically.

“I’ll ask dad to get my GameCube controller.” Kirby suggested, procuring a little pink flip-phone.

Pulling the antenna out by its star-shaped topper, he held his phone up… then he held it up higher. Then he waddled around the bubble, presenting the device in different directions.

“...No signal.” 

Fumu and Bun stared blankly.

“So you’re telling me…” Bun began, “That we’re stuck underwater, with no one besides Dedede and Escargoon even knowing that we’re down here? …We’re doomed.”

Fumu bit her lip, then shook her head in denial. “No! There’s gotta be some way out of this! Maybe… 

“Your phone might not work this far down, but what if we managed to somehow get closer to the surface?” She pondered. “We’re not impossibly far down, or we’d hardly be able to see.”

Indeed, despite the water being somewhat dim at the depth they were currently at, they still had light, able to see the colorful fish and coral that surrounded them.

“So we just have to climb up the seafloor?” Bun asked. “It’s kinda like underwater Monkey Ball, eh Kirby?”

“Super Monkey Ball!” Kirby giggled.

Fumu smiled fondly at the infectious excitement now bursting from the pink puff. “Let’s work together! I know we can do it!”

And with that, the trio began rolling the bubble up the underwater slope.

—————— ( o u o )/) ~ * ——————

Escargoon clutched the sides of his eyestalk. “Meta Knight’s going to kill us if he finds out we succeeded this time!”

Dedede’s gloves pulled the snail to face their owner. “Where’s Waddle Doo?!” the king rasped.

“I don’t know, sire!”

“Well, where’s Meta Knight then?!”

“I don’t know!”

The king’s eyes lolled about to the side in thought.

“... Sir Kibble?”

“I don’t– he’s digging his motorcycle out of the sand, sire.”

Dedede snapped his head in the knight’s direction.

“Kibble! Get yer keister here and think of something!”

“Yes, milord!?” Sir Kibble squealed as he sprinted across the sand.

Within seconds the little round knight was vaulting himself onto the boardwalk forehead first, landing with his bladed helmet embedded into the wood like a dart into a corkboard.

“Sire, he can’t think of something! He’s a moron!”

“Ack! Yer right!” Dedede wailed. “And Meta Knight’s gunna run that weird little sword of his through us if he finds out! I’ll be Dededeceased! ”

“And I’ll be Escar gone !” the snail cried back.

As the king and dis advisor hugged and sobbed, Sir Kibble’s focus wandered to the Waddle Dees walking the pier, carrying a supply crate of fishing rods to a fishing hut.

“Milord! I have an idea!”

—————— ( o u o )/) ~ * ——————

The bubble rolled and tumbled along the ledge, but thankfully the children were able to stop it before they could lose all their progress.

“Not again!” Bun cried out. “I told you to go left, Kirby!” 

“Sorry!” Kirby squeaked apologetically “I always forget which is which…”

“That’s okay, Kirby.” Fumu soothed. “Let’s try and see if you can get a signal again.”

The little pink ball pulled out his phone once more and held it aloft. Unfortunately, they were still too deep.

“I had it for a second last time…” Kirby pouted.

“Hmph. Maybe you need a new phone.” Bun scoffed. “When I get a phone, I’m getting a better one.”

“ Bun. ” Fumu growled. “Don’t be a jerk!”

“I’m not!” Bun grumbled as he laid his palms on the bubble’s wall. “Let’s just get going!”

“Bun, don’t just start moving like that!” Fumu gasped as her brother began pushing without her. “Slow down!”

“No! I’m sick of being down here!” Bun yelled, shoving at the bubble.

Unsurprisingly, this was when Fumu lost her footing and fell backwards, causing the magic orb to wobble. This destabilized Kirby, who bumped into Bun, who then pushed at the wrong angle…

…Sending the bubble tumbling over a ledge.

“BUN!!!” Fumu shrieked as they sank.

With a deep clink and a screech, they struck against a protuberance from the underwater crag.

Pulling himself up off his back, Kirby scoured for where they landed and from where they tumbled down. His eyes were drawn to the sight of what looked like a big, thick magenta-colored hose encased in glass. But then the hose wriggled, the purple splotches on it moving past at the large form pulled into a cavern.

“What is that thing!?” Bun cried out.

The enigmatic creature turned around in its tight burrow, directing its bulbous front toward the three. A crystalline chunk glowed a peachy orange from the back of its throat behind rings of glossy glassy teeth.

The gem monster roared at her intruders, echoing within Kirby’s bubble as the water rippled towards them. Fumu and Bun covered their ears and contributed with screams of their own. Her eyeless head lunged towards them, pressing misshapen lips that tapered off into tentacles against the bubble and latched on. The outermost ring of sharp teeth ground harshly against the barrier as the tendrils squeezed, but not so much as a scratch was made.

The children screamed as their bubble rocked and was pulled up in the water.

The circular maw undulated out and in, seeking to gain every inch it could around the pink curvature. A glossy mucus smeared and slimed over the bubble that was too large and defiant to be devoured. The monster tilted her head back, as if the reared pose would will them to fall into her throat.

“I love you guys!” Kirby cried, just in case.

The gem’s desperate teeth clenched, creaking and scraping until with a loud noise, their points chipped and the bubble slipped. The release of pressure shot the children up and through the water like an underwater cannonball.

—————— ( o u o )/) ~ * ——————

A small fleet of rowboats were out in the water, each manned by Waddle Dees armed with fishing rods.

“Did you get them yet?” A Dee called out to a neighbor.

“No! Just another Blipper!” They responded, throwing a round red fish back into the blue.

Escargoon nervously wrung a washcloth in his hands as he caught the sight of Sir Kibble waving from a decidedly empty boat.

“If Meta Knight asks, Kibble’s the reason they went down there,” The snail warbled.

Before the king could work on dis alibi, the sand beneath them rumbled and the boats rocked in sudden waves. With a deep groan from below, the pink bubble of children burst from the water and overhead the rescue fisherdees.

“We’re alive!” Dedede and Escargoon cried, hugging each other in elation.

“AAAAAAAHHHHHH–OOF!!!” screamed the kids as the bubble landed roughly on the shoreline, miraculously not breaking their necks a third time that day.

There was a beat of silence as the disorientated children lay in the orb partially embedded in the sand, before it burst with an almost comedic pop.

As they groaned in pain, Dedede and Escargoon skipped in circles gleefully.

The king and snail’s celebrations were cut short however by another loud rumble.

Waves trembled and with a great crashing sound, a long sea beast burst out of the surf, flinging itself upon the beach.

“KRAKEN!!!” a distraught Waddle Dee wailed, causing all their friends to frantically attempt to paddle away.

The “kraken” (more of an eel or a worm than anything else) dug into the sand as it writhed in a blind rage. Sand and grit was sent flying as it rampaged.

Kirby was the first to recover, pulling Fumu and Bun up so the three of them could run away from the beast as the panicked King Dedede and Escargoon were already doing. The worm monster wailed before diving mouth-first into the wet sand at the shoreline.

“Kirby, we need to get away from that thing!” Fumu shouted as Kirby ran..

“Get dad!” Kirby replied as he set them down a distance away. “We’re Crystal Gems; we stop gems like her!”

The pink batamon started darting towards the boardwalk before Fumu could interject. 

“Kirby! Wait!”

Running across the planks, Kirby kept a good distance as he scouted the worm’s borehole and the trail of uplifted sand that disappeared under the wood. He turned to look at the unfinished row of buildings along the boardwalk, keeping an eye out for a hammer or a saw or anything amongst the construction. He needed a weapon, something to inhale…

Kirby’s planning was interrupted when the worm burst out from under the boards of the walk, sending splinters and chunks of planks in the air as she breached. He caught a glimpse of a piece of board heading his way before it nailed him in the forehead and sent him rolling like a pink bowling ball into a now-abandoned construction site. 

The dazed child shook the stars from his vision, whereupon he registered himself laying among a half-tumbled-over collection of paint cans.

Paint.

Taking a bucket of Sangria Red in his paws, Kirby poured the opaque red liquid into his mouth where it sucked into the pink gemstone in his tongue like water down a drain. Rosy glowing fibers sprouted from his fur, growing and weaving together into a beret, decorated with a star-shaped pin that popped into existence. Setting the emptied paint bucket down, he found a paintbrush between his fingers.

“We have an artist Kirby in the family now,” a memory of his father spoke.

An inline of little green wheels popped out of the now metal soles of Kirby’s feet as he kicked off, rolling over the pier’s planks to the gem monster.

She was looming over a turned over umbrella and sun chair, chewing around the paint-stained robes of King Dedede. 

“Hey! That’s Dedede’s!” he scolded.

The gem didn’t listen, and instead continued munching on the size-thirty fabric.

Kirby huffed and made a skating start down the wooden boards. The little batamon jumped and grabbed the king’s clothes with spare fingers.

“Stop it!” he barked, whipping his brush at the worm’s tentacles as she whipped him around. “De’ll be mad!”

The gem monster only responded with a growl and further shakes of her head.

Eventually, the fabric gave way with a loud ripping noise, sending Kirby tumbling once more.

As Kirby recovered, the angry gem grave a groaning roar and prepared it’s lunge.

Artist Kirby waved his brush at the beast as he stumbled upright. Paint splattered across the face of the gem, causing it to rear back, startled. However, she soon recovered, and lunged once more, undeterred.

As he panicked and leapt away, Kirby realized the monster did not have eyes to blind.

The wheels of Kirby’s roller skates spun like mad as he fled down the boardwalk, gem in pursuit. The monster dove in and out of the sand as she followed, crashing through the wood of the boards with ease.

Kirby nervously looked around as he skated for safety.

Nothing but unfishished buildings…! Wait! His eyes widened, and he swerved towards a particularly precariously set up building. 

“Come and get me!” He cried out towards the gem as he ducked into the construction site. 

The gem roared back, eager to follow him. Shelunged, only to crash into the walls – which immediately came down upon her head.

Having managed to dart outside in time, Kirby whipped out a blank canvas and began quickly painting – all while the gem thrashed her way free of the rubble.

White, grey, and yellow – add some blue and red too, aaannnnd – DONE!

Just in time, too! The worm emerged from the collapsed building, intent on turning poor Kirby into her next meal…

– Only to immediately get BLASTED by a lightning strike – courtesy of a rather sloppily drawn rendition of Kracko. 

The gem spasmed as the cloud from Meta Knight's stories poured a storm’s worth of very real electricity into her body and collapsed into a poof of smoke. 

Tink, tink, TINK! The now inert gem clattered against the pile of debris, before landing neatly in the sand.

As Kirby panted, the animated drawing of Kracko just stared lifelessly, before it too disappeared as Kirby dropped his ability. It had been a pale imitation, but it got the job done!

“KIRBY!!!” a familiar voice called.

Kirby turned to face Pearl, who recoiled at the stream of red paint dripping down the boy’s mouth and chin.

“We’re too late,” Garnet surmised.

Kirby wiped at his mouth, but this only spread it across his cheek and paw. “I ate paint again. Can you help me clean up?”

Pearl clutched at her nonexistent heart as she bent over in relief.

—————— *~ (\(>u<)/) ~* ——————

To Be Continued