Chapter Text
So, something I've decided to do is name every chapter after a real song! Since Splatoon is a world based heavily in music, I thought this would be a fun way to recognize that. I don't recommend listening to them while reading though. These are just songs I like that also have a name that fits the chapter.
- - -
My first encounter with an Octarian was shocking. In a world with walking jellyfish and talking squids, a walking tentacle shouldn’t be that surprising, and it wasn’t. However, when the first thing the walking tentacle did was shoot at me, I was caught off guard. That’s how I learned about my respawn points.
I don’t know if those things can respawn like us Inklings, so I hesitated when splatting my first Octarian. Marie helped me through it, assuring me by saying that it was him or me. I made the connection between splatting Octarians and splatting Salmonids back home. Instead of killing a person, it was more like swatting a bug. That made it easier. With that, I continued on with my missions.
Apart from that, the missions weren’t too difficult. Find a kettle, splat everything inside, grab the zapfish, and get out. By the third zapfish, I was on a roll! These missions only took a few hours each and I was only splatted a few times. Each time I was shot, my hero gear was left with distinct, Octarian pink stains. The color was like nothing I had ever seen before. Although we have pink ink on the surface, this stuff looks… brighter? It’s shinier too. At a glance, anyone could tell that this ink isn’t normal.
Overall, I was doing fine apart from being tired. The most annoying part was carrying my backpack through everything. I definitely regret not leaving it behind, but I refuse to give Marie the satisfaction of admitting I was wrong to bring it. Though, it’s not like I could just leave it somewhere and come back for it later, it has everything I need inside it: my phone, all my identification, spare clothes, and the money I had saved up to this point. If this thing got stolen or lost, I would be screwed!
- - -
I exit the third kettle and hand off the zapfish to Marie. She’s been mostly quiet during my missions, only speaking to give me advice or warnings.
“Hey, do you see that big kettle over there?”
Marie points down into the canyon.
“Yeah, why isn’t that one invisible like the others?”
“That one’s a boss kettle. If you treat it the same as those first three missions, you’ll get hurt. I don’t know what’s waiting for you in there, but it will be dangerous.”
“I’ve done fine so far, I’m sure I can handle it.”
“Just don’t get sloppy in there Agent 4.”
I nod and make my way back to the canyon and into the boss kettle. The inside of this kettle is… warm. I would even say it's boiling, way hotter than the rest of the kettles. In response, I take off my hero jacket so I don’t overheat. I’m standing on a platform with a respawn point and a launch pad. Staring out from the ledge, I can see that this kettle has one other platform: a large circular island in the middle of the room surrounded by boiling water. The zapfish is just sitting out in the open with a large puddle of pink Octarian ink beneath it.
“Maybe they are letting me have this zapfish?”
Marie chimes in through my headphones.
“Don’t be so naive. Agent 3 went through something similar 2 years back… a big room like this means you're in for a big fight.”
“Like a boss battle? Is that why it’s called a boss kettle?”
“Oh so you do have a brain in there.”
I decide to ignore her comment and instead super jump down to the arena.
As I hesitantly approach the zapfish, a massive tentacle shoots out of the enemy ink and grabs the poor creature. From the tiny puddle of Octarian ink emerged a massive machine. It roars a battle cry.
“What the fresh fuck is that thing?”
“Watch your language 4. According to my grandfather’s notebook, that's the Octo Oven. It’s one of the great Octobosses. It says that it raises the temperature of its surroundings drastically. Be careful not to overheat.”
I ran up and began covering it in yellow ink. One of the oven doors opened. I stared at it curiously as an odd face stared back.
“Is that Octarian made out of… BREAD?”
“Agent 4 watch out!”
The ‘bread’ shot out and smashed against me. I went flying backwards, my shirt now stained with Octarian ink. All the air shoots out of my lungs as my back slams against the wall of the kettle. I promptly fell into the boiling water. Thankfully, I splatted before receiving any major burns.
“Ow. Would it kill you to warn me a little sooner next time?”
“No need to get sassy Agent 4. Just focus on beating this thing.”
“And how am I supposed to do that?”
“Look for a weak point. Once you find it, abuse the heck out of it until you beat this thing.”
“There was an exposed tentacle on top of it when it first appeared. Is that a weak point?”
“Probably. Climb up there and take it out.”
I sigh as I jump back into the battle. The Octo Oven was covered in ink resistant metal. However, the bread was climbable. Whenever the bread shot out and got jammed, I took the advantage and scaled the oven. Splatting the tentacle was child’s play compared to that. After the third round of scaling the oven and splatting the tentacle, I finally finished the Octarian off. Before leaving the room, I collected the Zapfish and re-equipped my hero jacket.
“What a joke, I can’t believe I got splatted by that thing. UGH, now I’m covered in enemy ink and… DAMNIT, my shirt is ruined.”
“You got lucky. Had the oven not jammed, you wouldn’t have been able to climb it. Now get back to base. We’re done for today.”
Jeez. Would it kill her to give me even the slightest amount of praise? I sigh, partly from exhaustion and partly from being sick of her carp.
“Yes ma’am.”
- - -
After a while of walking, I realize that something feels off. I give myself a once over notice that my bag has a massive hole in it. Quickly searching through my belongings, I realize that everything is gone.
“Oh no no no, NOOO! My bag! I had everything in this! When did this happen?”
“Probably when you got hit by the Octo Oven.”
“I need to go back!”
“NO! Don’t turn around, I don’t want you out there at night. It's too dangerous.”
I’m shocked by her drastic change in tone. Begrudgingly, I obey her orders and keep making my way to the cabin.
I know that I am in a worrying situation. Where am I gonna sleep? What will I eat? I mulled it over in my head, and with no other option, I asked for help.
“Hey Marie, would it be possible for me to sleep in the cabin?”
With a flat voice, Marie responds.
“No.”
“What! Why not?”
“Nothing is stopping the Octarians from coming this far. If an Octarian sneaks up here while you’re sleeping, they might squidnap you. (Just like they did to Cap’n last time.)”
“B-But I have nowhere else to go!”
“That sounds like a you problem.”
You’ve got to be kidding me. I bust my ass for 8 hours and THIS is how she repays me? Fine! It’s fine... I’ll just sleep on a park bench or something. Hopefully, fate smiles upon me and it doesn't rain tonight.
Reaching the cabin, Marie was standing there waiting for me, a smile on her face. I don’t return her smile.
“Good work today Agent 4.”
“Eight hours of working together and I think that's the first nice thing you’ve said to me.”
“You look like a mess.”
She chuckles as she snaps a picture of me. Turning the screen to face me, I see that I’m covered in pink ink… I look like I just fought a pack of Salmonids with nothing but my tentacles. At least I’m really going to be able to sell the idea that I’m homeless.
“Great. Can’t wait to go out in public looking like this.”
…
“By the way, I have work tomorrow. A busy girl like myself can’t be here every single day, you know?”
“So?”
“So… I can’t be here. And if I’m not here, then you’re not here. Understand? You don’t have enough experience to run these missions on your own. I’ll lock the manhole tomorrow so nobody sneaks in or out. Let’s just meet back up in two days... Now go change out of your hero gear and then find someplace to sleep. You look completely worn out.”
As if on cue, my exhaustion comes back in full force. No, scratch that, I am ten times more tired than I was earlier. Time to go find a park bench I can sleep on.
I never made it to a park bench. Last thing I could remember was the smell of Hamburgers and the sound of two voices…
“Yo… is it just me or did this homeless dude just pass out in the middle of the street?”
“This isn’t good. He looks like he’s in pretty bad shape.”
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