Chapter Text
Kallus: Am I a good person? No. But do I try to be better every single day? Also no.
Ezra: I'm gonna need a human skull but you can't ask why.
Zeb: Only if you also don't ask why.
Zeb: *pulls four pristine human skulls out of his bag*
Ezra: ...
Ezra, grabbing a skull: This one will do.
Sabine: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism.
Kallus: And you came to me?
Kallus: Legend says that when you can’t sleep, it means you’re awake in someone else’s dreams.
Kallus: When I find out who you are, I’m going to punch you in the face.
*Everyone is playing a board game together*
Zeb: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.
Hera: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.
Rex: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'.
Kallus: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'.
Zeb: *flips the board*
Kallus: LOWERCASE LETTERS ARE FOR THE LOWER CLASS!
Hera: And here we have a capitalist.
Rex: Did you just-
Ahsoka: Let us all take a moment to appreciate that all of galactic history, xenolinguistic language, and the universe itself aligned to make this joke possible.
Kanan: Even Kallus and I have been getting closer. The other day, he gave me half of his sandwich.
Kallus: I mistook him for a garbage can.
Kanan: I dunno if I'm ready to process the ramifications of this shavit.
Kallus: My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside.
*Everyone is standing around the broken caf maker*
Kallus: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Zeb: ...I did. I broke it.
Kallus: No. No you didn't. Kanan? Hera?
Kanan: Don't look at us. Look at Rex.
Rex: What?! I didn't break it.
Hera: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Rex: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Hera: Suspicious.
Rex: No, it's not!
Ahsoka: If it matters, probably not, but Sabine was the last one to use it.
Sabine: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Ahsoka: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the caf cart earlier?
Sabine: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Ahsoka!
Zeb: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Kallus.
Kallus: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Kanan: Kallus... Ezra's been awfully quiet.
Ezra: REALLY?!
*Everyone starts arguing*
Kallus, being interviewed: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it.
Kallus: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Kallus:
Kallus: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.