Chapter Text
Cordelia didn't say anything as she got out of the car. None of the boys did either. They just stretched and yawned as the clock clicked closer to midnight, the moon illuminating the half-empty parking lot. She pretended not to notice how they looked at her with questioning glances or how Darry was staring at her with pity.
"Let's go, Cordelia," Mrs. Elmers said in a soft voice.
"I can't," Cordelia whispered, shaking her head.
"Sweetie, he doesn't have much longer. His kidneys have completely failed. If you don't go now, you might never get to say goodbye," Mrs. Elmers sighed. Cordelia swallowed heavily and clung to Darry's arm as she walked into the hospital, her hands shaking and her eyes filling with tears. One of the doctors saw the large group and seemed to recognize Mrs. Elmers because he excused himself from his conversation to come over.
"Patricia, it's nice to see you again, although I wish it was under different circumstances," the doctor said to the woman. His eyes scanned over the group of greasers behind him and a look of worry crossed over his face.
"Same to you, Dr. Williams. I have Elijah's sister here with us to say goodbye," Mrs. Elmers said, moving so the doctor could see the teenage girl. Instead of moving, Cordelia wrapped her arms tighter around Darry's and put her face on his arm to hide. The man gently removed his arm from her grip to wrap around her shoulders instead, pulling her protectively into his side.
"Cordelia, it's lovely to meet you. Would you like to follow me to Elijah's room?" Dr. Williams asked in a tone that showed it wasn't his first time in this situation.
"Can I go with her?" Darry asked when the girl didn't respond.
"Alright, but just you," Dr. Williams nodded. The boys all made themselves comfortable in the waiting room, Darry having to practically force Cordelia to walk to the Pediatric ICU. The reminder that Elijah was still a child sent a stake through her heart and she could hear Darry's breath catch when he realized the same thing.
"I'll be right out here," Mrs. Elmers told Cordelia when they stopped in front of a room.
"D'ya want me to go in with you?" Darry asked Cordelia after she completely froze and refused to move.
"You said he'd be okay," Cordelia choked out, glaring at the woman. That was the first time that Darry ever saw the social worker's facade crumble, but she quickly put it back on.
"I'm so sorry, Cordelia," Mrs. Elmers whispered.
"We did everything we could, but the damage was too severe," Dr. Williams said softly. "Elijah was a fighter through the end, but a body can only go through so much."
Cordelia nodded and took a deep breath before removing herself from Darry's protective hold to enter the room, closing the door so no one else could see the tears fall from her eyes.
Elijah had always been big. He started playing football before he could even walk and he enjoyed going on runs and lifting weights. Cordelia used to tease him that he ate like a pig because of his appetite, and he would just ruffle her hair and grin. But now he looked small against the hospital bed, a tube down his throat and multiple IVs connected to his body. His eyes were closed and had dark bags under them that stood out against his pale skin. Cordelia let out a sob at the sight of her big brother reduced to nothing and sat on the chair next to his bed to grab his hand.
She could still remember the look in his eyes when he broke into the room to save her in Mobile. He was only twelve, almost thirteen, but he went to juvie just to protect his baby sister. The last time she saw her big brother was when she was fourteen. The foster family in Austin was a nightmare, but they had family in Idaho near the farm that Henry and Elijah were working on, so they drove up there, and the siblings could reunite for an hour. At fifteen, Elijah was bigger than the dad of the family, but Henry was only eleven, and he was smaller than their ten-year-old son. Cordelia thought back to that day and let out another sob when she remembered that she only got a few minutes with Elijah so he could finish Henry's work before their foster father realized it wasn't done. He had hugged her and whispered 'I love you' and then was gone.
"Hey, Eli. I've really missed you," Cordelia started even though she knew her brother couldn't respond. "It's not the same without you here. You sacrificed so much for me and I won't ever be able to repay you. I won't ever be able to hug you again or let you know how much I appreciate you. And I resented you for such a long time too. I can't believe I stopped responding to your letters, but I promise you, Eli, I don't blame you for getting separated from us. Not even a little bit. You're my big brother, my protector. You were supposed to turn eighteen and save us, Eli. You were supposed to save us."
Her brother stayed tauntingly still. Cordelia knew that Elijah could never sit still for long. He hated working on the farms, but he liked that it kept him busy. It felt weird to see him so still and quiet because he always had something to say. That had gotten him in trouble more times than she could count.
"I love you, Eli. I really do, and I'm sorry if I didn't tell you enough. I'm sorry that I hung up on you the last time that you called, and I'm really fucking sorry that I didn't respond to all of your letters. I guess you needed me as much as I needed you. But I guess you couldn't handle hearin' about everythin' that happened to me and Henry. But I promise you that nothin' was your fault. I love you, Eli. So much."
Elijah sent a letter every single week and called at least once a month. It was hard for them to talk, but he tried to anyway. He had found a permanent family on the farm since they liked his work ethic and his muscles allowed him to work more than the others. Even though the parents weren't the most caring, they still gave him three meals a day and made sure his grades were good enough to go to college one day. Henry had been sent to another family by that point, a family that seemed to care about him. But Cordelia was stuck in a home from hell and she was miserable. Elijah had written about a dance that he was able to go to and how happy he was and Cordelia just didn't respond. He sent her five letters that month and she only responded to one. And she skipped his phone call too.
He had stopped sending as many letters after that. Their phone calls got shorter and shorter until he yelled at her one day for being ungrateful. Cordelia yelled back that he was the reason why the siblings got separated and he hung up without a word. The letters and calls stopped for two months until he started sending them again like nothing had happened.
That was just Elijah. He was kind and caring, always looking out for his baby siblings. There was less than two years difference between Elijah and Cordelia, but he acted like it was much more. When she was thirteen and got her first 'boyfriend', he threatened to drive down to Dallas just to threaten the boy. And when that teenage romance turned into heartbreak, he spent an hour on the phone just for Cordelia to cry so hard that he couldn't understand a word that she was saying. When Henry lived on the farm with him, Elijah would do most of his work for him so the younger boy could actually have a childhood. Elijah was the one who fed them, made sure their clothes were clean, fixed up any holes in their shirts, and sacrificed his own meals to make sure they were taken care of.
Elijah was more of a parent to them than their own parents.
Cordelia knew he had to grow up too fast. The Idaho family had seven kids of their own, most of them younger than Elijah. She could remember how jealous she got when Elijah would tell her about his experiences helping them grow up. He talked about how he would braid the youngest hair for her and Cordelia couldn't help but be jealous when she remembered that she was the reason he even knew how to braid.
And then a year ago, Elijah called her and said that he was being taken away from the family. The dad had lost his job and started beating the kids, although he avoided Elijah because of his strength. The state noticed and took all the kids away and sent them to different families and Elijah was sent to an elderly woman in Oklahoma City who just wanted someone to drive her to and from doctors appointments. For the first time in years, Elijah and Cordelia were in the same city and then Cordelia was taken to Albuquerque the same day that they were supposed to see each other again.
She'd only talked to Elijah five times since then. Their weekly letters turned into once a month, maybe two times if they got lucky. And Cordelia felt her resentment growing, even though Mama Louise took good care of her and made her feel loved for the first time in years.
Too bad Elijah didn't have the same experience.
He was going to die thinking that she hated him. That she blamed him.
And that killed her.
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Darry grimaced at the sound of sobs coming from the room behind him. Mrs. Elmers shook her head and stared down at the ground, her foot tapping against the floor making Darry go insane.
"What's wrong with Elijah?" Darry finally asked. Mrs. Elmers glanced up in surprise and cleared her throat.
"Well, I'm not sure how much you know so I'll start with their Mobile placement. Elijah went crazy and attacked the brother and father in that home and got sent to juvie for about three months. After that no one wanted to take him in. The agent had to start looking farther away because he was picking fights in the boys home too. A family in Idaho needed help on the farm and agreed to take in Elijah and the boy did a full 180. He was going to school, getting good grades, doing good on the farm, everything. Henry was sent there for a few months too but he wasn't a good fit for the farm life so he went back to the family in Houston."
"Cordelia didn't like Houston," Darry interrupted. Mrs. Elmers' face twisted and she nodded, not able to meet his eye.
"Elijah continued to do amazing with that family until the dad lost his job. The state had to complete a raid when three of the daughters came to school with bruises and told them that it was from their daddy. When the social workers got there, it turned out that Elijah had been the one raising the kids and he was the only one who wasn't getting beat. The dad would wait until he was at school or out on the field to do anything. The state decided to find someone who could give Elijah a calmer, less stressful life, and we found an elderly woman in Oklahoma City who could do that. Everything was fine until her son got divorced and moved back in with her."
"How long ago was that?" Darry asked.
"Six months, maybe a little more," Mrs. Elmers responded. "The son was bitter and angry and drunk more than he was sober. Elijah was still so, so optimistic. He planned to do the same thing that you're doing now. But the son, Michael, he's a narcicistic asshole. He started verbally abusing Elijah and made him quit his job. The state noticed that Elijah's grades started slipping so we asked the school counselor to talk to Elijah, but he said that he was focusing on football instead. We had no idea just how bad things were at that place. The son was a registered sex offender, he wasn't even supposed to be in that house."
Darry clenched his jaw and closed his fists so hard that he almost drew blood. Mrs. Elmers had to take a shaky breath before she could continue.
"About three months ago, Elijah had enough. He punched Michael and broke his nose, and Michael wasn't a small guy. He retaliated and the two ended up in a fight that had the mother calling the police. Elijah threw the first punch so Michael wanted to press charges, and since he was almost eighteen the state was going to try him as an adult. It would've been maybe three years in jail and some community service, nothing horrible but enough to prevent him from getting a good job. And Elijah, that boy loved football. Michael shoved him into a bookshelf and hurt his back during the fight, nothing horrible to seriously injure or paralyze him, but he would never be able to play professionally. He was already being scouted by multiple NFL and college teams. The doctor prescribed him a pain medicine until his back was done healing, but Elijah wasn't taking them everyday. He hid them in his pillow in the jail cell so they wouldn't find them. A month ago...a month ago, Elijah took all the pills at once and has been in a coma since."
"Damn," Darry muttered, letting out a long breath. "When was the last time Cordelia got to see him?"
"Two years ago," Mrs. Elmers responded. "Her foster family had family in Idaho so she got to go up and see Elijah and Henry. They wrote letters and called some, but they've been separated for five years now."
"I can't imagine that. Not seein' Soda or Pony for five years..." Darry trailed off, leaning his head on the wall behind him.
"Michael really messed with Elijah's mind and mental state," Mrs. Elmers admitted. "We knew that Cordelia and Elijah had fought a few times. She blamed him for getting the family separated and for a long time he was happy with the Idaho family while she was being tossed around. He wrote a letter, and God, Darrel, I could barely get through it. He really blamed himself for everything, their parents dying, getting separated, everything that happened to Cordelia and Henry. It was...horrifying."
Darry didn't respond, but he felt anger simmering to the woman sitting next to him. If she had just found better families, they wouldn't be sitting there today.
"You were supposed to save Elijah," Mrs. Elmers whispered, wiping away a tear. "We thought that seeing you brothers together would give him enough hope to push through. His bail was posted, he was supposed to leave for your house the next day."
"I've gotta get to my brothers. Come get me if somethin' changes with Cordelia," Darry said, standing up and leaving without another word.
Ponyboy was asleep with his head in Soda's lap and Soda was basically asleep himself. Two-Bit had passed out thanks to the copious amount of alcohol he drank before, taking up three chairs. Steve was drooling with his head on Soda's shoulder and Johnny was asleep against Dallas' side, the older boy glaring at Darry as if to dare him to say anything.
"Any news?" Soda asked through a yawn. Darry shook his head and sat down in a chair across from his brothers, running his hand down his face and fighting his own yawn.
"He's not gonna make it to the mornin'," Darry sighed. "His doctor said he's surprised Elijah's made it this long."
"What happened to him?" Dallas inquired.
"He overdosed on pain pills. On purpose," Darry answered. Dallas' face twisted for a moment while Soda let out a small gasp.
"Poor Cordelia," Soda said softly as he ran his fingers through Ponyboy's hair.
"You don't know the half of it," Darry sighed again, looking down at his baby brother still passed out. "Wake Pony up. I wanna talk to you two real quick."
Soda looked hesitant to wake up Ponyboy since he rarely slept through the night, but he did so anyways.
"Cordelia okay?" Ponyboy yawned as he sat up, stretching so big that he almost slapped Johnny. Steve let out a huff when Soda stood up and disrupted his sleep, moving so his head was leaning against the wall with his mouth open. Darry guided his sleepy brothers over to a quiet part of the waiting room where no one could hear.
"What do y'all think about Cordelia comin' to stay with us? For good?" Darry asked. Ponyboy and Soda both perked up and smiled at the idea.
"Please! She doesn't yell at me about my homework like you, and her chocolate cakes are better," Ponyboy teased.
"I would love that! I've always wanted a sister," Soda nodded.
"I would have to get a second job," Darry warned. "I can't afford to feed all of y'all and save for your college with my one job. We might have to time our showers and not use lights unless we absolutely have to, and it might get cold in the winter."
"She needs us, Darry. Can't you see that?" Soda asked. Darry took a deep breath and gave Soda a closed lip smile.
"I wanna ask about Henry too. See if he can come stay with us," Darry added.
"Woah, I wouldn't be the youngest anymore!" Ponyboy gasped excitedly.
"Calm down, Pony," Darry chuckled. "I don't even know where Henry is now. He might be with a family that takes good care of him, and I wouldn't want to take him away from that. I just needed to make sure you two were okay with all of this before I ask Cordelia and Mrs. Elmers and make everythin' official."
"I'd love that, Darry. Please let her stay," Soda assured him, Ponyboy nodding in agreement. Darry smiled at his brothers and ruffled their hair as they walked back to the others. Steve was reluctantly awake now since Soda had woken him up, half-heartedly glaring at his friend when he sat back down.
"You keepin' her?" Dallas asked with a knowing look.
"She's not a dog, Dally," Darry scoffed.
"We are!" Soda said excitedly at the same time. Darry could've sworn that Dallas smiled at that which is weird because he only ever smiles at Johnny.
"You two need any food?" Darry asked his brothers.
"Nah, we ate at the rodeo," Soda answered for the both of them. Darry nodded and leaned his head against the wall, his mind racing. Ponyboy got back into his previous position with his eyes already fluttering shut while Soda closed his eyes to finally sleep when a loud sound came over the intercom.
"Code blue, room 304! Code blue, room 304!"
"Shit," Darry muttered, instantly standing up at the sound.
"That Elijah's room?" Soda asked softly. Darry grimaced and nodded as he headed back to the room. By the time that he made it back there, Mrs. Elmers was crying and Cordelia was sobbing. Darry didn't care if he was supposed to be in the room or not, he immediately entered the open door to hold Cordelia to his chest. The girl accepted the embrace and started sobbing into his chest, her whole body shaking so hard that he was scared he would collapse.
"Time of death 2:13 am," Dr. Williams sighed. Cordelia let out a gasp and her knees went out, Darry barely able to keep her from falling.
"I'm so sorry, honey," Darry whispered into her hair, squeezing his eyes shut as the doctors and nurses started working on removing all the tubes and needles. Mrs. Elmers excused herself but Darry just stood there to keep Cordelia safe. The girl was breathing so fast that Darry was scared she would pass out, but she had the mental ability to finally open her eyes and look at her brother just as a nurse started to pull a sheet over his face.
"No!" Cordelia yelled, pushing herself out of Darry's arms to crawl onto the bed, wrapping her arms around Elijah and putting her head on his chest where his heart should be beating. The nurse put a gentle hand on Cordelia's shoulder to try and pull her away, but the teen just shook her head and grabbed her brother in one last embrace.
Darry couldn't help but think that she looked way too young in that moment. Elijah did too.
"Let's give them a moment," Dr. Williams said to the nurses. Death was so normal to them that they just agreed and left the room. Darry felt like he wasn't supposed to see this, wasn't supposed to hear Cordelia's last goodbye so he slipped out of the room. Mrs. Elmers had composed herself and was waiting in the hallway too.
"That poor girl," Mrs. Elmers sighed, shaking her head.
"I want her to stay with me. Permanently," Darry said strongly. Mrs. Elmers looked up at him with shock clear on her face.
"I can't promise permanently, especially not with your income," Mrs. Elmers warned. "But if Cordelia agrees, I'll make you her official temporary guardian tomorrow and we can reevaluate in a few months."
"And I want to see about taking Henry in too. They need each other now," Darry said, his heart breaking some when he realized the younger teen didn't get a chance to say goodbye. Mrs. Elmers, however, tilted her head with confusion and furrowed her eyebrows. It seemed like she was choosing her words carefully when she spoke.
"I'm afraid I can't do that."
"Why not?" Darry asked angrily, still able to hear Cordelia sobbing as she begged and pleaded her brother to just open his eyes, talk to her, show her that he was still there. Mrs. Elmers could hear it too because she winced and sighed before responding.
"Because Henry's been dead for a year."