Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Good news, she didn’t have remotely enough to drink last night to wake up hungover.

Bad news, when she wakes up she immediately spots Bot locked in a clearly horribly awkward conversation with Fan, and with last night’s conversation flashing in her mind she knows she has to do something to remedy it.

“You guys are loud,” she complains as she sits up, stretching and wincing at the crick still remaining in her neck.

“Oh, good, you’re up!” Fan says brightly, beaming at her. It’s as blinding as the sun would be, and she squints as she blinks several times in quick succession, feeling dazed. Gross. She hates morning people. “I was looking for you! Come be on my podcast!”

The fact that it’s a statement as opposed to a question is what throws her. “You have a podcast?” she says in bewilderment. “Never mind, what am I saying, of course you do. Why do you want me to be on it, though?”

“Why wouldn’t I want you to be? You're my cousin!” he replies, spreading out his hands. This appeal to pathos falls completely flat, and she stares at him until he sheepishly adds “And, y’know, I thought it could be like a crossover episode. Bring in some viewers that I normally wouldn’t appeal to. That show you’re on is super popular, even the most recent episodes! Usually viewership peaks in the first season. So, y’know…”

“I get it. You’re using me for views,” she deadpans as she gets to her feet, stifling a yawn. She can’t imagine how Marshmallow must be feeling, the woman having long passed the age where hangovers easily pass her by without much fuss.

“I have it on good authority that he stayed up half the night researching that show just for the episode,” Bot matter-of-factly adds, raising up one finger while the other is on their hip. The motion seems like something learned, and the mix of braininess and cockiness screams Test Tube.

“Paintbrush is such a snitch,” Fan whines, burying his head in his hands.

“Researching and not watching it, huh? I hate fake fans.” Fanny says that just for the pleasure of watching him gasp and sputter in dismay, beginning several sentences but petering to a stop after a few words because he’s so outraged. Bot laughs, doubling over as their eyes scrunch closed, and she smiles, feeling glad that she was able to let them relax like this.

“I am not a fake fan!” he protests in offense, hands on his hips. “I’m going to watch the show eventually! I just don’t have the time right now! And, you know, that’s why I’m bringing you onto my podcast! So you can shed some light onto things that I don’t know as much about! It’s a symbiotic relationship!”

“Don’t I have to get something from it for it to be symbiotic?”

“You are getting something! Exposure!”

“Truly the thing that makes the world go ‘round,” Bot says wryly, reaching for Fanny’s discarded can of cherry fizz from last night and taking a sip. Immediately, their face scrunches up in distaste. “Gross, the soda’s gone flat.”

“Glad to know that you’re complaining about the soda and not the other, much worse tasting thing,” she deadpans.

“Huh? What are you talking about?” Fan says, blinking. Bot offers him the can, although judging from their expression they obviously aren’t expecting him to take it. When he does, the two are left watching in horror as he raises it to his lips and takes a sip…

…only for it to go flying from his mouth not a second later as he doubles over and coughs furiously. Bot bursts into loud, explosive laughter as they cackle, slamming their fist against a nearby table so hard one of the legs goes flying off, which sends them into another wave of laughter. Meanwhile, Fanny reaches forward and deftly catches the can as it falls from Fan’s hand, Firey’s voice saying snatch in the back of her mind.

“Oh my god!” Fan wails, sticking out his tongue and running his hands over it as if that’ll be enough to get rid of the taste. “What was that? It burned my throat! Why did it taste like sharpie?!”

“Fanny said the same thing!” Bot screams between peals of laughter, hysterical and breathy as they double over. Tears gather at the corner of their eyes, they’re laughing so hard. “Oh my god-!”

“That,” Fanny says, shaking the can in the air for emphasis. “was whiskey. Not really the best thing to start the day with, especially if you’ve never had it before. Awfully bold of you to drink that outright.”

“You gave me alcohol?!” Fan cries, looking scandalized. Then, to Bot “You were drinking alcohol?!”

“I can drink stuff without problem, and I’m not a kid,” they remind him, and it would be stern if it weren’t for the fact that the words are released between laughter and have a breathy quality to them. “I don’t really see the issue.”

“But it’s-! You-! It was-! You can’t just-! It’s alcohol!” he sputters, unable to fully piece any thoughts together. “That stuff’s bad for you! It’s bad for me! You gave me alcohol?! I can’t believe this! Oh, no, am I gonna be drunk now?! Am I gonna go live in front of thousands- no, hundreds of thousands- no, millions of viewers and be drunk?! This is the most important stream-slash-podcast of my life and I’m gonna be drunk for it?!”

“You didn’t even swallow any,” Fanny says flatly. “Stop catastrophizing, you’re gonna be fine. And by the way, I didn’t get the memo on the whole live bit. That would have been nice to know.”

“Well, livestreams always get lots of engagement, and it’s better to capitalize on you being here now instead of having to spend a few days editing an episode,” Fan explains matter-of-factly, all his panic briefly ebbing as he tucks one hand behind his back and raises the other, closing his eyes. The panic returns in full force a moment later as he begins to pace, muttering “Oh god, oh god, I don’t wanna be drunk! I can’t be drunk!” He turns to Fanny with a crazed look in his eyes. “Quick, how do I get sober?!”

“You’re asking me?” she barks in incredulity.

“You seem like you’ve been drunk more than I have!”

“But I hate alcohol!”

“That was your drink,” Bot helpfully reminds the group at large, smiling serenely even as their shoulders shake with silent laughter.

“Yeah, that’s why I didn’t finish it!”

“Why are we yelling?” Marshmallow calls with a groan as she stagers down the stairs, prompting all attention to be turned onto her. “You guys know I’m hungover as shit. Ugh…” She grips at her head as she sways in place, leaning against the railing as her face scrunches up.

Fan points at Fanny accusingly. “She gave me alcohol and got me drunk when I have a livestream in an hour!” he hollers, causing Marshmallow to wince.

“Number one, Bot gave you the can,” she flatly begins, and Bot waves cheerily. “Number two, it was one sip. Number three, you immediately spat it out. “Number four, since when is that livestream in an hour?”

“I came to wake you up so you could get ready!” he yells, not lowering his voice in the slightest

“You’re not drunk, Fan.” Marshmallow grumbles as she slumps over on the couch.

“She would know,” Bot sagely agrees. “I’m pretty sure she’s what they call a high functioning alcoholic.”

“Or maybe a low functioning alcoholic,” Fanny muses.

“Mind your own business,” Marshmallow moans in response, stretching out the fourth word as she rests a hand over her face. “I drink a normal amount.” 

“Are you sure?” Fan asks, straightening as his eyes go wide. He seems to have forgotten the issue of whether or not he’s drunk (he isn’t) for the time being. “Oh! I could host Alcoholics Anonymous on my podcast!”

“I can’t think of anything worse,” she groans in reply, burying her head in a pillow. “Besides, you aren’t giving me an intervention ‘cause I’d only listen to Bow or Apple, and the former is the one providing me the drinks while the latter is clueless. So there.”

“This sounds exactly like something an alcoholic would say…” Bot muses, face scrunched up in thought. Marshmallow throws a pillow at them.

“Fan, you aren’t drunk, but if you’re worried, drink a shit ton of water. You’ll be sobered up eventually.”

“There isn’t anything to sober up!” Fanny protests. 

“Do you think he understands that?” They all turn to look at Fan, who’s running a hand over his face and tongue with a distraught expression. 

“...I guess not.” Bot concludes.

“Exactly. So now that all of that is out of the way, can you guys leave? You’re all way too loud.” Marshmallow grumbles as she curls into a ball, looking pained.

Bot giggles as they walk over to the front door, and Fan follows, still running a hand over his face as he whines, obviously dismayed. They make their way back to the hotel in record time, Bot carrying one of them in each arm as they spread out their legs to take massive steps back to the hotel that grows increasingly closer with every passing second. 

When they’re dumped onto the grass not five minutes later, Fanny raises her head and says “I think I want to travel like that all the time.” Bot smugly preens. And, well, she can’t give them too much, so she adds “The ride could have been smoother, though,” prompting an offended glare from Bot and loud, bell-like laughter from Fan.

“Alright, c’mon Fanny, up and at ‘em!” he yells, shoving her to her feet. He’s returned to his relentless exuberance, so either he’s forgotten about the alcohol incident or has decided that he won’t worry about it for the time being. “There’s a lot of work I have to do to prep for my stream, and you’re going to help me with all of it.”

“Do you… need me for all of it?” she says slowly, squinting at him.

“Not really, but I figure it’s family bonding, isn’t it?” he chirps. “Besides, what if you discover you love streaming just as much as I do? Maybe it’s, like, a genetic thing! And then I won’t have to harass Paintbrush or Test Tube into queuing with me when I play Goiky Rivals anymore!” He looks overjoyed by the notion. She’s sorry to burst his bubble, but…

“Doubtful.” she mutters, staring at the ground. She wishes her glare could be more irritated or intense, but it’s just uncomfortable. “I hate the feeling of being watched.”

How long has One been watching? Ever since she came back from nonexistence? Surely the Algebrailian was watching Cake at Stake. Scratch that, she had to be watching Cake at Stake. Her timing of kidnapping the four previously eliminated contestants was too precise not to be. According to Nickel, Eraser had been safely eliminated, but what if that’s not the case for whoever was eliminated on her team? What if she was eliminated, and she’s going to be spirited away by the Algebrailian at any moment?

She’s never been bothered by the idea of being watched before One came along, she’s pretty sure. It wasn’t like it was something she thought about before the fact. If someone was staring at her, she’d just glare at them until they were inevitably scared off. But that won’t work for One. Why would someone like her ever be scared like Fanny? She may want more power, but she has more than Fanny herself could ever dream of.

Still, One is probably watching her right now. All the times this thought has previously flitted to the forefront of her mind, she had always found a way to dismiss it. She was never doing anything that made her worth watching after the thing that allowed One to take advantage of her and dig her claws into her came and went. But disappearing so suddenly only to reappear in the blink of an eye on a completely new island with completely new people? Now that’s something noteworthy, if only for the fact…

Fanny’s heart leaps into her throat as the thought flits across her mind, lazy and idle and something that would have easily passed her by if not for how horrifying it was. One has an entire new island of people to take advantage of, and if she thinks they have even a chance of progressing her plans, she’ll happily use them. Why else would she take the eliminated contestants?

She doesn’t want to imagine Fan or Bot or anyone placed between that oppressive sky, destined to be either swallowed up by the void or blinded by the sharp stars. The idea makes her want to be sick. She can’t bear entertaining it for a moment longer, god she just wants-

“I-I hate the feeling of being watched,” she repeats, hating the way her desperation and fear seeps into her words. Her mind is just fogged up with panic, and it’s far from an empowering emotion at the best of times. “So I don’t think I’d do well with any of that. It’s already weird being as in the public eye as I am.”

“Oh.” She refuses to meet her cousin’s gaze, but Fan sounds subdued and guilty. “I’m sorry. I can cancel the livestream if it really bothers you. The last thing I’d want is to hurt you. I’m just the sort of guy who rushes into things, and I thought I’d be fun. Really, though, I don’t mind canceling.”

“Yeah, thinking things through isn’t really your strong suit,” Bot mutters, and to their credit they only sound a little bit bitter.

“It’s fine,” she declares after thinking it through for a few seconds. “You can go ahead with it.”

“You sure? We’re still kind of new to this cousin thing, you know? I don’t exactly have that good will built up if I end up hurting you-” Fan begins.

“It’s fine,” she says again, unable to keep the frustration out of her words. As she speaks, her head snaps up on impulse, and she’s not as daunted by staring at Fan head on as she thought she would have been. “Really. It’s the sort of thing that only kicks in in really specific situations with specific people. Person, actually.” She knows she looks insane, glaring at the air, but she can’t bring herself to care that much. She hopes One is looking, even if her reasons for that hope aren’t the purest. “I just don’t think streaming would be good for that fear.” she continues. “Although I guess this stream can be like exposure therapy.”

“Pretty sure you have to do exposure therapy often for it to work,” Bot points out, nose wrinkled.

“Then I’ll stream with the idiot whenever I end up coming by. Depends on how far away this island is from Goiky. Don’t suppose you would be able to give me an answer?” She trains an intense glare on Fan as she says that, hoping the look in her eyes is determinedly steely.

“You shouldn’t ask me questions I don’t know the answer to,” Fan replies, wringing his hands.

“What?”

“Well, I’m gonna go inside now, bye!” He rushes off without another word.

“What does that mean?!”  

Bot laughs again. “This is fun,” they say, sounding almost reverent. “I know it’s not all you, Auntie Fanny, but I laugh a lot when I’m around you. I like it.” They shoot her a conspiratorial look, grinning. “I’m excited for the next time you come back, when things have calmed down.”

“I guess it doesn’t sound like the worst,” she admits, still staring distractedly at where Fan had disappeared into the hotel. “I hate how vague he’s being. I guess I’ll go after him and try to see what the idiot’s up to.”

“Have fun with that. I’m gonna go chat with Cabby,” Bot says brightly before their legs extend and they scramble through a window three stories up like a bug. It’s kind of grotesque, but she supposes she’ll add it to the list of things she’ll hopefully get used to as time passes, having it right up there alongside her not being a real person. Real easily digestible stuff.

Fanny treks inside to see Fan hunched over, typing away at his phone. He brightens when he sees her, waving her over. “Come get a picture with me!” he says excitedly.

“For what?” she retorts, stopping at his side.

“For social media, duh!” he says, sounding just as matter-of-fact as he would if she asked if the sky was blue. “I’m gonna post it and announce that the livestream will be at the start of the next hour. It drums up hype without leaving people waiting for too long. Except, ugh, I might get a lot of people asking about the end of season two instead of about you. But we can manage it together, right?”

She finds herself rather fond of the notion, and forces herself to smother a smile. “Right,” she readily agrees. “Together.”

Fan wraps an arm around her shoulder, the other raising his phone up in the air so that they both have to stare up at it. She leans into the touch but glares harshly at the camera, even if the motion doesn’t reflect how she truly feels. She figures the gruff, prickly exterior is what the public expects from her, how they view her. They don’t know how she melts around Bubble, around her team, and if they do, there’s no way in hell they know the full extent of it.

He snickers as he lowers the phone, staring down at the phone. “It looks perfect,” he declares, so overwhelmingly genuine that Fanny finds herself ducking her head, cheeks heating. She needs some kind of barrier of sarcasm, otherwise she’ll quickly get overwhelmed. “And… post!” He taps at his phone with a flourish, adjusting the screen when Fanny leans forward to get a good look at the post. It’s using her name and face, after all, so she wants to make sure it isn’t anything too alarming.

number one fan

@fanboyii

HELLO EVERYONE!!!!! I have a VERY special episode of Fan’s Fantastic Features, featuring Fanny from BFDI!!!!!!! The episode will be livestreamed and will start at 11 am!!!! Be sure to be there if you have any pressing questions for her!!!

“...That’s… a lot of exclamation marks,” she says slowly, unable to keep the amusement out of her tone. He types exactly like he speaks: very enthusiastically.

“I know! That’s because I’m excited!” he says in reply, spreading out his hands as he beams. “Are you excited? It’s gonna be great. You should follow me to my podcast room! It’s cozy there.” Trailing behind him, the two go up the flights of stairs. God, she’s getting flashbacks to the first episode of TPOT… They only go up one floor, Fan escorting her to the end of the hallway that seems to be structured differently than the rows of rooms. “OJ has these rooms on each floor that he lets us use for whatever, and everyone else graciously lets me use one of these for podcasting! It’s great, you’ll love it.”

He opens the door to reveal… Well, it’s definitely a room. That, she won’t argue. It’s even a nice room, because Fan seems like the sort to thrive on that sort of minimal validation. All the furniture is pushed to the front of the room to the left and right of the wall mounted TV, an armchair with a lamp and a rug on one side and a desk with various knick knacks scattered across it on the other. There’s a stool set up, slightly off center, and pushed back is a table with a closed laptop that Fan runs over to and flips open, typing away on it happily.

Test Tube makes her way into the room at some point, and Fan barely looks up at her before turning his attention back to his laptop, happily clattering away. “You didn’t tell me you were streaming,” she says. 

“Apparently that’s a pattern with him,” Fanny irately grumbles.

She just laughs before continuing. “I’d be happy to be your camerawoman like I usually am.”

“I’ll think about it,” Fan muses. “I’ve changed up my setup so that everything is automated now. I have a webcam on my laptop now-” He taps the black device attached to the top of the screen. “-and one of those stream decks with shortcuts set up into it to switch screens and stuff without having to get up. Remember I told you about that?”

“Sure, and I helped you set it up,” Test Tube easily agrees, one hand on her hip. “You would have been clueless with it otherwise. I thought it was for your gaming stuff, though. I’m used to being the one doing the behind the scenes stuff for your show.”

“Podcast.” he absentmindedly corrects.

“No, it’s a show.”

“I have it on all the podcast apps, it’s a podcast!”

“Podcasts don’t use cameras.”

“Clearly you’ve never watched that one Goikys and Dragons podcast,” Fan sniffs haughtily. “They use cameras on YouTube, but it’s still considered a podcast. My show is the same way!”

“If you say so,” Test Tube says, amused. She doesn’t seem all that concerned about the distinction, and the cadence of the argument gives Fanny a sense that it’s one they’ve had more than once. Maybe they’re just playing it up since she’s around.

“And anyway, if you really want to, you can man the cameras,” Fan says, pausing in his clattering to look up at Test Tube, startlingly solemn. “I just know it makes you kind of anxious to have that responsibility, even if it’s also fun, and I figured Fanny would be more comfortable if it was just someone she knew better.”

“I’ve known the two of you the same amount!” she protests.

“Yeah, but we have a special cousin bond,” Fan says matter-of-factly, returning to his laptop with full force, the sound of keys being struck overlapping his words.

“We’re cousins, not twins. Next you’re going to be saying we have telepathy.” she says flatly. But she’s chatted with Fan enough to know how he works, so a second later she relents and says “But I guess you’re right. It’s easier to talk to you than anyone else, anyway. I’m not the sort to spill my guts, but giving away information is a sort of “the less people know the better” sort of thing.”

“You know the stream’s going to be recorded, right?” Test Tube says wryly.

“Yeah, but the more I can trick my brain into being calm the better things will be for me,” she says dryly. “That’s just sort of a requirement for me.” Listing out all the reasons One isn’t watching her at any given moment is something that happens more and more frequently for her at this point, even if none of those reasons apply at the moment. So One is probably definitely watching her, a paranoia she can’t shake no matter what reasons she comes up with, so that leaves her at a base level of wired she doesn’t think she’s all too fond of.

“I get that,” Fan mumbles. Then, as an afterthought, he adds “Thanks, MePhone.”

“Thanks, MePhone.” the other two say in unison. It feels incredibly freeing to push all the things wrong with her onto someone else, even if it probably won’t be sustainable in the long term. And saying that fosters a camaraderie between all of them that she doesn’t think would be there otherwise, so really, it’s two birds, one stone. Convenient, nice… Really, she has no complaints. She would rather feel in some way connected to the people she’s now inextricably linked to instead of awkward and distinct.

They continue to set up until it’s five minutes before eleven. Well, by set up, she means the three of them chatting back and forth, even if it’s painfully obvious how comfortable with each other Fan and Test Tube are and how awkward and out of step Fanny is in turn. It’s nothing she can change, but she feels awkward about it anyway.

When the clock is at 10:55, Fan herds her to the stiff arm chair and quickly runs back to his laptop, intently clattering away at something with an intense look about him. Test Tube has left by now, offering them luck and well wishes that she thinks wasn’t just meant for Fan, or maybe she was just imagining the kind look tossed her way? Fanny absentmindedly spins her fan with her foot, the repetitive motion calming and distracting. At least until she gets a look at her wide eyed reflection in Fan’s laptop, and then she begins to panic all over again.

She really wishes her team was here. Black Hole is awkward but well intentioned, running through elaborate worst case scenarios so out there she can’t help but laugh at the idea of them. Tree is relaxed and grounding, helping her to keep her tethered to reality when her head spins so much it makes her dizzy… in the figurative sense, anyway. Marker is upbeat and enthusiastic, always finding some way to keep her mind off of things. They’re all just so… kind.

This homesickness is new. Then again, she’s never been away from home long enough for it to wear on her. The only time she leaves the hotel is during a challenge, and odds are she’s surrounded by her team. Maybe she’s just the clingy sort, though she hates even entertaining that idea.

After a minute or so of Fan excitedly tapping away at his computer, he’s quick to hop to his feet and scramble into the chair sitting behind the desk. He adjusts the placement of his mug and a few other things before clearing his throat, looking toward the laptop. It now has a starting soon screen displayed on it, a chat box on the side with messages rushing by dizzyingly fast. Definitely not something she can read, especially from a distance. He turns on the TV and after a moment of clicking buttons, the chat box is now displayed on the TV as well, a lot easier to read with the bigger screen and the proximity.

“You ready?” he softly asks her. “If you don’t feel up to it, I won’t hesitate to cancel.”

“I’m fine,” she snaps in response, hoping her annoyance isn’t too evident. She isn’t made from glass. She’s just… not a person. That’s true enough. But she’s as fragile as anyone else is, and regardless of how this livestream goes, that won’t change that. “I want to do this. I never do anything I don’t want to, at any rate. So quit your hemming and hawing and just do it already. The faster we start, the faster it’s over with, right?”

“That’s one way to look at it!” Fan readily agrees. “Okay, three, two…”

The final word in his countdown fills her ears and leaves them ringing. She knows he didn’t mean it like that, but still, she can’t help but-

She really hopes One is watching, even as the idea leaves her faintly terrified and paranoid. She doesn’t know what she’ll do otherwise.

“Alright, and we’re live!” Fan says with a flourish as he presses a button next to him. The laptop set up in the center of the room behind the camera changes from the starting soon screen to a display of them, sitting down in their chairs. Fan looks comfortable and confident behind his desk, adjusting the microphone next to him ever-so-slightly as he smiles confidently. Meanwhile, Fanny feels small in the yellow armchair that towers over her, and she doesn’t like the way the nearby lamp casts harsh light and shadow over her face.

Fan is in his element: in front of a camera with complete comfort and control, constantly reinforcing his title as number one fan. Meanwhile, Fanny just feels trapped, even if the idea of being trapped makes her feel like a wild, rabid animal. She would rather be, to be honest. Rabid animals don’t have to do livestreamed interviews with their overenthusiastic cousins. They’re just put down.

“Welcome, viewers, to the second ever livestreamed episode of Fan’s Fantastic Features!” he says brightly, spreading out his hand while the other presses another button. It’s a pretty nice setup he has going for him, she’ll readily admit. Canned applause plays from the laptop’s speakers, small and tinny, but she’d gander that it’s louder and clearer on the proper livestream.

“The second?” Fanny prompts, squinting at him. “What was the first?”

“Oh, my interview with Paper!” he chirps in response. “A lot of viewers requested me to chat with him, and in hindsight it led up pretty well to season three, and-” He catches himself before he goes any further, chuckling as he wags a finger at her. “Look at that, you’ve already gotten me rambling! Guess that means we have great banter! Still, give me a sec to finish the intro, okay?”

“If you say so,” she says dryly, shifting in the armchair. Right, she had been intimidated for a bit, but it’s just Fan. Rambling, scatterbrained, inoffensive Fan. What does she have to worry about when it comes to him?

“So, on this episode of Fan’s Fantastic Features, we’re going to do things a little bit differently,” he continues, hands pressed tightly together. “I know plenty about BFDI, of course-” Fanny snorts, and he shoots her an exasperated look before continuing, huffing into the mic. “-but I figured this could be a QnA sort of thing! It’ll help me to get to know our new friend alongside all of you!” He grins widely at the camera.

“This is stupid,” she declares, glaring deadpan at the mounted webcam.

“Well, that’s better than saying you hate it,” Fan says. 

Although his tone is teasing, she can’t help but scowl slightly, frustrated. That’s the one thing that’s baked into her, something that she was intended to be. And she hates being shoved onto a box. She’s her own damn person, and she refuses to become what MePhone had created her to be. Poking fun at her tendency for hatred would be like poking fun at Fan’s fanboy tendencies; either way, it’s a low blow.

“So, dear viewers,” he continues, spreading out his hands. “You all remember the rules! If you want to ask a question, you have to donate. The chat moves too fast otherwise. Since there’s two of us here, feel free to ask questions to either of us! Although I really don’t mind bias toward our guest.” He gestures to her, grinning.

“You’re paywalling questions?” she asks, glaring at him. “That feels awfully greedy.”

“Can you read anything flying through the chat?” he says defensively, pouting at her.

Trying to prove a point, she squints at the chat box displayed on the TV. She sees her name a bunch, and the shorter messages are significantly more discernible, but the longer messages, the ones actually containing questions, are near-instantly swallowed up. “I guess you have a point,” she relents, prompting a wide, smug smile from Fan. “Stop that. I hate that.”

“Alright, so with all of that out of the way!” Fan cries, clapping his hands together as he beams. “Let’s get started! First question is from xxblazinglightning, who asks- Oh, this question is for me,” he says, looking startled by the prospect. “What happened to the end of season two? Is it still being released? Oh, jeez,” he groans, burying his head in his hands. “I didn’t get around to watching episode sixteen when it was released, considering we were busy with everything going wrong.”

“Didn’t expect that from you, number one fan,” she jabs.

“Leave me alone!” he huffs. “I’m pretty sure none of us even existed when that episode came out, considering the timeline. And no one really wants to watch it, considering-” Suddenly, he comes to a stop, eyes going wide. “Oh. Uh oh. Hang on. Hey, chat, did that episode show the conversation Knife and Suitcase had with Cobs at all?”

He’s holding his breath as he stares at the chat, only to relax a moment later when it’s flooded with the word no. Fanny tilts her head. “Right, so I’m clueless about most of this, but given that it involves, uh, him… Does it have to do with what I think it does?” She’s trying to be careful about her words; the last thing she wants is to reveal something so personal while on a livestream.”

“Yup,” Fan mumbles, shrugging. “Thank god that isn’t public info, right? Anyway, uh, I really doubt the rest of the finale was actually recorded? Just because of everything that happened. So you probably won’t end up seeing the rest of it. But season two is over. There was a winner and everything.”

Of course, his words cause the chat to explode in a flurry of activity. The question that appears the most often is the identity of the winner. “Who did win? I actually don’t remember,” she muses, nose wrinkled.

“You were there for it!” Fan sputters in dismay.

“I was focused on other things!” she says defensively.

“Right. Well, Suitcase won. Knife, uh… definitely got the short end of the stick,” Fan declares, grimacing. “But we’re not gonna talk about it. It’s really personal, y’know?” He glances back at the chat again. “What happened to Pickle, OJ, and Nickel? Are they all okay?” he reads, before squinting. “What do you mean? I don’t- Oh, wait! The MePhoneX. Right. I forgot about that. Yeah, they’re all fine. Hotel’s up and running, games are being played, sarcasm is being spoken. It’s all fine.”

“Looks like the chat wants you to prove it,” Fanny declares after a moment of trying to decipher it. “I guess that’s fair. What do you have to say for yourself, Fan?” She’s honestly enjoying watching Fan squirm in evident discomfort.

“You know they’re fine!” he squawks in dismay. “OJ showed the two of you to your room last night! You’ve dealt with Nickel! And anyway, t-this stream is supposed to be about you!”

“I dunno, it sounds to me like you’re all talk without any proof to back it up,” she says airily, enjoying the way Fan anxiously squirms in his seat. She’s going to be the one under all this pressure soon enough, so she reckons she might as well enjoy the pressure being directed to someone else for the time being.

“Look, I’ll show you,” Fan says, huffing. “I’ll show all of you!” Cupping his hands around his mouth, he begins to yell “Nickel! Nickel! Come over here real quick!”

“He’s not going to hear you,” Fanny dryly says. “The door is closed.”

“Yeah, but he’s always hanging around Clover these days,” he points out, looking triumphant. “So it would be lucky if he ended up hearing me, right?”

Right on cue, they both hear Nickel yell, voice muffled. “Ooo! Are you talking to me?” he chirps excitedly.

“Not you, the other one!” Fanny hollers in reply, because it’s obvious Fan is still more than a little confused by the two Nickels thing and has yet to make a proper distinction between the two in his mind. Vaguely, she’s aware of the chat exploding out of the corner of her eye, but she doesn’t pay it much mind. Any viewer with half a brain could piece together what she meant, which was fine. As an eliminated contestant, Nickel does well in falling under the radar anyway.

“I don’t want to be on your stupid livestream, Fan!” calls the same voice, allegedly, but the Nickel she knows would only say something that scathing to Nickel, so it has to be directed to the other one.

“Just come here so the viewers know you’re alright!” he cries in consternation. “I promise I’ll never ask you for anything again!”

“You’re obnoxious!” he yells in reply. A moment later, though, the door opens, and two Nickels alongside an exuberant Clover make their way into view of the camera. Fanny wouldn’t have brought the second Nickel along, but maybe that’s just her wanting to be discreet.

Clover waves at the camera, smiling brilliantly bright. With a smile like that, she can see why the other Nickel fell for her. Nickel mimics the motion a second later, before turning to look at the chat a moment later. It’s exploded in a flurry of activity, and it’s impossible to read any of it before it’s spirited away by a new wave of messages. “Woah, a lot of people there!” he says, leaning forward.

The other Nickel just glowers at the camera even as Clover wraps him in a one armed hug. “I’m alive, but not well, because I’m stuck dealing with this idiot,” he hisses, scowling at Nickel, who’s still trying to decipher the rush of messages.

“Oh, this person donated money!” he says brightly. “They asked why I’m here.”

“Same reason I am,” Fanny grumbles, rolling her eyes.

“Family reunion!” Nickel joyfully concludes, trying to tackle the other Nickel in a hug. However, it fails, due to both of them lacking arms as well as the fact that the other Nickel clearly wasn’t expecting it, slamming onto the floor with a disorientated groan. Clover blinks at the pile of coins, having gracefully shifted to the side when it became clear that the two were to fall onto her. Instead, they landed on the floor, which is far less comfortable.

“Can I leave now?” asks the muffled voice of the other Nickel. “I have other obligations, like tossing this idiot out of a window.”

“Oh, I love falling from high places!” Clover says eagerly, her eyes wide. “The wind always blows me back before I fall too far!”

“Sounds fun!” Nickel sounds brightly. “Let’s go!” The other Nickel is dragged off by the two, their limitless cheer almost enough to overpower his irritation.

The moment the door closes, Fan leans forward. “And there you go,” he declares, spreading out his hands. “I told you guys that everyone was alright! You really need to trust me more. And no, I’m not getting OJ or Pickle. They have lives, you know.”

A surprising amount of it for people who aren’t actually real, Fanny thinks with a sort of vindictive irritation. She knows it’s bad to be so easily jealous, and still. “Are you saying that the other Nickel being driven insane by his cousin doesn’t count as having a life?” she prompts.

“Not good enough to stop me from bothering him,” he says matter-of-factly. “Alright, next question!” Fan chirps, kicking his legs. “This one’s from fubblefan876, who asks whether you miss Bubble!” He leans forward, smiling brightly even as she feels her face flush. “Oooo, who’s Bubble, huh? An old friend? What, was she eliminated?”

“Teammate,” Fanny stiffly retorts, looking at the floor. “She stayed with Four after the show split, I left with Two, so I haven’t seen her in a bit.”

She thinks of long nights tossing and turning in her bed, worrying after Bubble so much sleep keeps being beaten back. She thinks of every time she spent hours on end typing Bubble’s name into the recovery center at all hours of the day, never once needing to do so. She never came back, not once. On one hand, she was glad, a muted sort of relief that tasted good on her tongue. On the other hand, she was disappointed, because if nothing else the two would get the chance to talk. All Fanny wanted to do was look Bubble in the eye and tell her-

All of that was far too personal to blurt out on a goddamn livestream, but deflecting or outright skipping the question would just give the wrong idea. She misses Bubble so much it makes her chest ache. Letting onto just a fraction of that shouldn’t go horribly, right?

“I miss her,” she says stiffly. “We were friends, after all. But I figure we’ll find some way to cross paths again eventually, so I’m not that worried.”

“Ah, right, the split,” Fan says sagely. “I read ab- I mean, I watched it. Pretty rough stuff. Honestly, I’m more surprised by how many people stayed with Four. Infinite power’s a pretty sweet deal. Any insight?”

“I couldn’t tell you why most of those people stayed,” she says dryly. “I just knew I preferred the prize, and even if Two ended up being as bad as Four at least X was still there. That was before the BFBers were assigned to take him back, though. I dunno. I think I prefer TPOT, though.”

“Nice!” Fan says brightly. “I guess if I want to hear more perspectives on the split, I’ll have to interview a bunch of other people, huh?”

“Good luck with that one. You won’t be able to rely on nepotism for everyone,” she says dryly.

“Wh- I- You-” he sputters. “It’s not nepotism!”

“You wouldn’t have been able to get this interview without it,” she haughtily retorts, and Fan groans, burying his head in his hands.

“Now that you’ve finished sullying my good name, let’s move onto the next question!” he says. “This one’s from deathpactagainagain, who asks which one of your eliminated teammates you miss the most!”

“Eliminated as in people voted out and not people left in the split, I assume,” she mutters, squinting. “Things get too complicated without that distinction.” If she didn’t say that, her answer would just be Bubble again, and that would make things rather repetitive. “I guess it would have to be Lightning. We were pretty good friends, even if the two teams we ended up on didn’t go that well for him.”

She sighs as she thinks about iance. It’s something she would prefer to forget about outright, but being on that team is all the memory she has of Bubble. Isn’t it funny that a team that was miserable for nearly everyone involved (Ruby is the single, notable exception) still ended up containing faint fragments of good buried within it? Her friendship with Lightning and her determination to help Bubble remain heavy in her mind, a weight pressing down on her. But the feeling of it isn’t oppressive or smothering. Rather, it’s protective and warming.

“He didn’t deserve to be eliminated. Not a lot of people do, really.” She says that, but she thinks of Pencil and Match with a scowl. If anyone deserved it, it would be those two, even if the punishment for them was significantly more severe than the eliminated TPOT contestants. She feels bad… just not bad enough, she supposes. It was deserved for how the two treated their teammates. “But him being gone gives me good reason to go further in the competition, right?”

“Right!” Fan concludes, nodding sagely. “Lightbulb was the same way, you know. And, you know, speaking of Lightbulb, I really am glad that I get to be with her again. The Bright Lights really weren’t the same without our intrepid leader, y’know?”

“Right,” she agrees, because she knows the feeling even if she’s unable to keep the sourness out of her words. Death PACT doesn’t really have a proper leader. Tree and Black Hole are the ones with seniority, so they end up calling the shots more often than not, but Fanny likes to think of their group as a democracy, especially now that they’ve properly ironed out the terms of the PACT. 

iance, though… Well, Pencil and Match were that team’s leaders. Of that, there’s no doubt. Things were definitely different after they were eliminated, but it was a good type of different. Ruby could be surprisingly assertive when the need arose, directing their team like she had during the digging challenge. And although their team wasn’t completely cleaned out of assholes, considering Snowball was still there, there had definitely been a change after their supposed leaders were kicked to the curb. Things were less tense. It was nice, at least while it lasted.

Either way, she decides she’s tired of thinking about iance. BFB is over. Flower won it. Her former teammate. Good for her, she supposes, not that the two ever properly talked. Flower was disquietingly hungry for acceptance, for approval, for friendship. If iance had gone further with Pencil or even just Match at the helm, she probably would have ended up at the two’s beck and call just as Bubble and Ruby were, thoughtlessly hungry for approval. Thinking of it like that, it’s hard to feel much of anything toward the other woman.

So, in an effort to take her mind off the topic of BFB, off iance, off Bubble, she turns her attention to the chat at the same time Fan does. They really are two sides of the same coin, love and hate, red and blue, enthusiasm and anger. She thinks that she has never felt as known in her life as she does with Fan. She kind of hates it, but she shrugs it off for the time being.

“Woah, that’s a really long donation,” Fan announces, staring at the one that had caught her eye. “You wanna do the honors, Fanny?”

Normally, she would grumble something about him being too lazy to read everything it says, but there’s other things on her mind. “Hang on,” she mumbles, staring at the donor’s name for a long second. She hasn’t even read the message yet.

Because their username is treehugger4. Maybe an innocuous name to most, but Fanny remembers it. It’s Tree’s username, the one he had given himself on Twitter after Marker had pushed them all to set it up. “It’ll be fun!” he had insisted, grinning widely. And, well, no one could deny him for long, even if Fanny had pushed back against it. That was just in her nature, and she felt like someone had to put up a fight.

“What do we even need Twitter for?” she had said flatly, rolling her eyes. “We see each other literally everyday. I’d rather talk to you face to face than over a screen.”

“And I can’t even use a phone,” Black Hole had deadpanned.

“And Black Hole can’t even use a phone!”

“We can share an account,” Tree had suggested, looking up from his phone. “Here, give me a username, I’ll choose the handle.”

“Yay! Teamwork!” Marker had cheered, throwing his hands in the air. “Besides, it’ll be a super easy way to send each other stuff we find funny!” When Fanny hadn’t looked convinced, he had added “And we can use it during challenges to communicate even when we’re apart.” He had been as smug as he could get–in other words, not very–knowing that bringing up challenges would be enough to convince Fanny. The less losses they had under their belt, the better. That was always her perspective, anyway.

“So? Any ideas for the username?” Tree had prompted Black Hole, leaning in close enough for his leaves to rustle slightly, affected by the object’s gravitational pull.

“...treehugger4,” he had said after a moment.

“Okay,” Tree had said, drawing out the word. “I hear you, but why that? It’s kind of impossible for you to give me hugs.”

“Because it’s fun. And because there’s four of us.” Everyone had stared at him, confused by the non sequitur, and embarrassed, he had begun to awkwardly stutter. “Y-Y’know, because there’s four of us? treehugger 4? I mean…” He had glumly deflated. “I thought it made sense.”

“Well, it has Tree’s name in it, so we know it’s him!” Marker had said, obviously trying to cheer him up.

“And if Black Hole was capable of hugs, he would give a lot of them, probably,” Fanny had grumbled. “So I guess all three parts of that username work.”

“What, are you not a fan of hugs, Fanny?” Tree had prompted, tilting his head as he grinned at her teasingly.

“I don’t have arms.”

Of course, this was YouTube, and not Twitter, but knowing Tree, he had probably set his name as that in a bid to get her attention. It definitely worked. And since the donation he made was really long, a slab of text that’s hard to read with the lack of spacing, she has some guesses as to what it says.

“Do you want me to read it out loud?” she prompts Fan.

“Yeah, duh! How am I supposed to know what it says otherwise?” he cries. She rolls her eyes.

“Next question is from treehugger4, who donated… Jesus Christ, Tree, 50 dollars, really? Do you actually have that much money? Anyway, he says…” She clears her throat and prepares to read. “Hey Fanny, it’s Tree. Last place I expected to see you after you suddenly disappeared was on a livestream with some random guy.”

“I’m not random! I’m her cousin!” Fan squawks, looking outraged. She shushes him before continuing.

“Marker saw the post on Twitter. Guess his idea of getting us all accounts finally came in handy. Anyway, Two made today’s challenge to get you back, so I thought it would be pretty helpful to ask where you are, just so we can net an easy immunity. I guess that’s my question. Do you need a question mark with it? I guess there’s one right there, but I’ll add another just in case. Where are you, Fanny?”

When she finishes, she groans, leaning back in the armchair as she massages her temples. Fan just looks more amused than anything. “This is a pretty fun twist!” he says with a gasp, eyes wide. “Oh, but what if it’s an imposter? Do you have any proof that this anonymous donor is this Tree guy?”

“Number one, Tree’s one of my teammates, so I know him pretty well,” she begins, voice flat. “Number two, I’m one hundred percent certain it’s him. Between the username and what the message said, I’m certain. Plus the fact that his plan for the challenge, if you can call it that, isn’t the most thought out. You seriously want me to give away my location to the internet, Tree?”

“That’s called doxxing,” Fan volunteers. “It’s usually pretty bad. Also I would prefer if people didn’t know where we are because of recent events.” She thinks of the CEO of a respected tech company exploding, kernels scattering along the field, and just snorts into her foot.

“Anyway, it’s not like I can judge you for reaching out to me over livestream. Because, well, I’m the idiot who agreed to it in the first place.”

“Not that she had much of a choice in the matter,” Fan says sagely, as if that makes things remotely better for either of them.

“But seriously, this is your big idea to win the challenge?” she continues in a deadpan. “If you noticed the stream, I bet everyone else did too. Just wait for Golf Ball or Tennis Ball to figure something out, follow them, and swoop in at the last second. I won’t make it easy for them to win, trust me.”

“Oh, I remember those two from the first season!” Fan says, looking delighted, before pausing. “And the other seasons. Which I definitely watched. Anyway, I think they would really get along with Test Tube.”

“No thanks. We don’t need three mad scientists running around,” she flatly retorts, rolling her eyes.

A moment later, another donation comes, this one from markthespot4. Black Hole had been the one to suggest that they all add the number four to their usernames, and the other two had agreed, Marker enthusiastic while Fanny was begrudging. “Thanks for the ten dollar donation, Marker,” she deadpans. “What, did Tree run out of money? Anyway…” She clears her throat and begins to read it. “We’re running out of money but we have to donate to talk to you :(“ reads the first part of his donation, and she scoffs. “Take it up with Fan,” she retorts, gesturing at him.

“Like I said earlier,” the man squawks, clearly indignant. “I can’t read anything unless it’s in a donation. It’s not like I was expecting to have my stream be hijacked in the middle of an episode on your show-” he begins, but he comes to an abrupt stop as he goes wide. “Oh my gosh. My stream-slash-podcast is being plugged on your super popular show right now!” Fan looks like he wants to grab Fanny and shake her firmly by the shoulders, but he settles for shaking the table he’s sitting behind instead, looking frazzled. “I am going to get so many new viewers,” he whispers reverently, and she just rolls her eyes. Don’t they have bigger things to worry about at the moment?

“The rest of his donation says… You were right about GB and TB, but now they’re both aware of our plan, which will probably make things harder. But don’t worry, Fanny, we’re coming!” The message has an exclamation mark at the end, but instead of managing to sound excited, she just yells out the final word, because that feels easier. “Right. I’ll leave that to you, then. Hey, Fan, you should probably end your stream now. The hotel’s going to become a battleground in a few minutes, and I’d rather have options in case the first people who end up here aren’t the people who I want to get immunity.”

“You have plenty of options!” Fan cries, affronted. He bends down and begins to rifle for something, and after a moment he sits up, looking triumphant, holding a foam red baseball bat in his hand. “And look! You can use this as self defense!”

“One of your closest friends is a mad scientist who made a sentient robot,” Fanny dryly points out. “And all you can give me is a foam bat? You don’t have anything more lethal?”

Immediately, her words prompt two more donations from both Tree and Marker, although she knows Black Hole is there in spirit. Their messages say the same thing: “DON’T BETRAY THE PACT!!!!!!!” Both are in all caps, and both possess an excess amount of exclamation marks at the end of them.

“Relax,” she grumbles. “I was joking.” She wasn’t, really, preferring a few dead bodies over having to send another team member home. And speaking of… “Hey, since I… wasn’t able to stick around during Cake at Stake, can you guys tell me who was eliminated? I guess I’ll know next time I see you guys based on who’s missing, but I’d prefer to know sooner rather than later.” Of course, her words prompt the chat to explode in a flurry of protests about spoilers, which she promptly ignores.

It takes a second for her to get a proper response, Fan mumbling something about stream and donation delay, but the reply comes from Tree. “It was Gaty. Two was pretty torn up about it, but they eliminated both her and Eraser without problem. They didn’t go missing like the other eliminated contestants.”

Knowing that Gaty’s safe is cold comfort to her. Fanny just sighs, biting out a cold “Damn it,” under her breath. She had plenty of time to come to terms with her team being up for elimination, but that doesn’t stop her from blaming herself. She was the one meant to shift her team’s focus. She was the one supposed to lead them into winning challenges. She was the one to ensure no one would have to face the uncertainty of elimination, and she failed.

If nothing else, she’s glad that Gaty’s safe from One’s clutches. She has no clue what the Algebrailian would do with someone so important to Two in her clutches, and she shudders at the thought of how One, cold, conniving One, would exploit that fact. Gaty’s eliminated, but she’s safe. So it’s fine. Everything’s fine.

“Okay,” she says quietly, raising her head. “Thank you guys, really. Fan, can you hurry up and end the stream already? I wasn’t lying about needing to prepare for chaos.”

“C’mon, just one more question?” he says with a pout, his eyes wide and pleading as he stares hopefully at her. She really hates how good he is at that. How does Test Tube stand it?

“Fine,” she relents. “Just one. And you aren’t allowed to make it into a whole conversation. Like I said, I’m on a timer. So just make it quick.”

He just cheers in response, either ignoring or is just unbothered by her barbs. He kicks his legs as he reads off the TV. “Alright, our final question for today’s…” He sighs regretfully. “Painfully short stream is from rubberducks32, who asks how you got your mouth back after Pin and Donut stole it! Uh, that’s a weird question. Assuming it has some context to it.”

Fanny doesn’t move to answer right away. She’s busy being frozen in place, a cold, icy fear constricting in her gut as One flies to the forefront of her mind. One, sitting in her armchair, contract hovering in the air, as her silver tongue talked in circles around Fanny, not that she had the means to properly object to what was going on. She hated her deals. But she was helpless to protest without her damn mouth!

What is she supposed to say to that question? How is she supposed to muster up some kind of answer? She already suffers from horrible, paranoid questions about whether her mouth can be said to fully belong to her anymore. She doesn’t know where One got it. It definitely isn’t hers, because as the Algebrailian said it’s still at the bottom of the Goiky Canal. So wherever she had sourced it from, Fanny doesn’t trust her. She doesn’t trust her mouth. And god, it’s such a strange feeling to live in fear of her own body.

As tempted as she is to just rip off the damn thing and find her original mouth, she hates the thought of being without a voice. Back there, as she negotiated with One–if that horribly one sided conversation could ever be considered a negotiation–she had felt so powerless. She might as well have been dead for all she was able to do against her. She doesn’t want to be left in that state again. She wants to speak. She wants her damn mouth, no matter how much she can trust it.

None of that changes the fact that she had just been asked the question directly, and the longer she remains silent the more intense the expectation to answer will be, certainly. So in that vein, it’s a question of how well she can act and pretend as if the act of regaining her mouth wasn’t so significant it weighs on her even now. Fan’s stare is growing less eagerly expectant and more slowly concerned the longer she doesn’t say a word, and she knows that whatever she may be thinking she has to swallow back the lump in her throat and talk.

“It was during a challenge,” she dismissively begins, voice flat and warbly as she tries to get her mind together and force out something, anything. Background information tastes better on her tongue and is far easier to force out. “Worked with Pin and Donut for all of two minutes before they ended up betraying me. My mouth was a casualty of that, but it also ended up saving us from being eliminated, so there were pros and cons. Couldn’t get it back before it ended up in the canal, though, so for a while I just couldn’t talk.”

Fan is nodding along attentively. She really does like how focused he is on her, nodding encouragingly. When she falters, he asks “And then what?” His eyes are wide and curious as they’re trained on her, him leaning forward with an intent glint in them.

She stutters for a moment, fumbling awkwardly for a lie when she’s so on the spot. Still, though, she has to settle on something, so- “Between challenges I looked for it,” she says, staring at the floor as she does so. She can’t bear to have to look Fan, so earnest and eager, in the eye and lie to him dead on. “Properly put it back on after the team swap. N-Nothing interesting, really-” And god does she wish that was the truth “Just something tedious. I don’t actually know what is and isn’t featured during the episodes, I never watch ‘em, so it makes sense if some people were a little confused. That’s all.”

When she finishes, she swallows, her throat feeling dry. She wishes she could feel bad about lying, but in the end it’s just self preservation. Four and X are unstable, sure, but they aren’t like One. She’s smart, disquietingly so, and the amused glint in her eye as she stared at Fanny made her convinced that the Algebrailian was planning something, even if she couldn’t put into words what. If Fanny does something to spoil it, maybe she’ll be spirited away alongside the missing contestants, never to be seen again. Disquieting.

Fan claps his hands together after a moment, looking satisfied. “Alright!” he chirps. “I hope this stream was everything you all were hoping for! Sorry it couldn’t be longer, but you know how hectic things can get when you’re on a reality show! Who knows, I just might have more interviews with people from BFDI in the future!”

“I’m sure they’re all going to look forward to it,” Fanny deadpans, prompting Fan to squint at her as he tries to decipher whether she’s being sarcastic or genuine. 

A moment later, he presses a few buttons on his steam deck, and the stream transitions to a thanks for watching screen. “Our mics are muted,” he says. “I just like to wait a few minutes before ending stream properly. Especially because this one didn’t go on for nearly as long as I hoped for.” He pouts, looking rather put out by this fact.

“Blame Two for their stupid challenges, not me,” she retorts, rolling her eyes. “C’mon, let’s go to the front. Oh, and grab Nickel on the way.” She sees Fan mouth “which one” to himself as she gets to her feet and leaves the room, glad to hear him following after her after he moves to press a button.

There’s a lot of things that can happen with this challenge. She’s not used to having so much control with what happens during it. She’s the key to immunity, and for obvious reasons she’d prefer for her team to be the one to net it. Both to protect her team and to avoid elimination herself. It’ll be one hell of a mission, considering in the end she has to deal with all of the other teams who have their attention firmly trained on her, but in the end it’s just a matter of seeing what she can do.

“Nickel!” she hollers as she trudges down the hallway. “Come down to the lobby!”

“Which one?” calls one of them. His tone is neutral, and without a face, it’s hard to figure out who’s talking.

“The one that I have any reason to talk to!” she snaps in reply. “Whatever, both of you can come down, I don’t care! But this is sort of important, so hurry!” Her yells get louder as she makes her way down the hall, standing at the top of the stairway with a fiery scowl. When she finishes, she begins making her way down, wordlessly grumbling under her breath.

By the time she makes it down to the lobby, leaning against the couch, Fan remains hot on her heels, hopping onto a spinning stool and doing a few quick rotations. The other Nickel, face flat, is walking down alongside Clover. From further up the stairs, audible but out of view, she hears Nickel and Balloon. “C’mon, Loony!” she hears him cajole. “I know you can hold my weight! You’re full of hot air! All you gotta do is jump down the stairs, and I’ll cling onto you! Doesn’t it sound fun?”

“I dunno about fun,” Balloon says in reply, sounding uncertain. “Seems like a good way for you to get hurt. I don’t exactly have a lot of hand holds, you know. Or footholds, I guess.”

“Hm…” Nickel considers this for a moment, before letting out a gasp and brightly replying “Oh, I know! I can hold on with my teeth!”

“No, no, no!” yells the other Nickel, immediately beginning a stream of high pitched, angry objections. “You’re going to pop him and he won’t come back from that, so don’t you dare!”

“Relax, Nickel,” Balloon says dryly. “I wasn’t going to let him do that anyway.” The two finish descending, fully coming into view. Balloon looks unimpressed while Nickel looks glum and dejected. The other Nickel doesn’t hesitate to glower at Nickel, teeth bared, while Nickel just smiles cluelessly. Fanny, for her part, just sighs as she climbs onto an arm on the couch. This day has barely started for her and she finds she’s already tired of it, the clashing of the Nickels quick to become exasperating. For all of their differences, her and Fan get along well enough, so why can’t the two of them?

“Uh,” Fan calls. At some point, he had moved from the stool to one of the windowsills, and now he’s staring through one of them with a concerned frown on his face. “You guys might want to take a look at this.”

Obediently, the other five in the room huddle around the window, Nickel climbing onto Fanny’s head to get a better look at the window, which she would be fine with if his feet weren’t digging into her back. The other Nickel does the same with Balloon, and glares at Nickel, affronted, when he realizes that they had the same idea. Fanny doesn’t have time for their inane animosity, though, and busies herself with looking out the window.

A familiar group of objects is huddled together on the grass, looking dazed. It’s Team 2, although they are down Eraser. She supposes Nickel’s claims had been reputable enough, then. Snowball is holding a device in his hands that definitely doesn’t belong to him, and is probably responsible for how they ended up here to begin with. Above her, she hears Nickel gasp in joy. “No way!” he yells, looking thrilled. “It’s Book and Taggy! Oh, and Ice Cube, Grassy, and Snowball too, I guess. But Book and Taggy! Yay!”

Eagerly, he jumps off of Fanny’s head, the motion horribly painful, and begins to jump up and down on the windowsill, cheering and waving and tapping on the grass. Of course, the group is quick to notice this horrifying display, and Grassy points toward Fanny, who is clustered in the front, causing the group to move toward the hotel with renewed vigor.

Fanny, for her part, just groans and moves away from the window. Since she isn’t a member of Team 2, she has no interest in ensuring them immunity, although they are definitely the team Nickel is rooting for even without realizing who’s on Team 2 to begin with. Still, she doesn’t bow to what Nickel wants. So she just backs up, perching herself back onto the couch and preparing her best glare for anyone who tries to get in her way of netting her team immunity.

“So, uh, who are those guys, anyway?” the other Nickel asks, face pinched.

“Trouble,” she says grimly, right before the door slams open. Unsurprisingly, Snowball is the one leading the charge, Grassy perched on his head, and he jabs a finger toward her self righteously.

“You’re coming with us!” he loudly declares.

“Piss off,” she immediately replies, tone brusque. He didn’t seem to expect the outright rejection, as he just stares at her, blinking a few times. So she elaborates. “I know what the challenge is for today, and I know I won’t let it finish until my team ends up with immunity. So honestly, you shouldn’t even bother trying.”

As confident as she tries to appear to be, she’s fully aware how much of a front it is. She may have some level of competence, but not even she could fully hold her own against the entirety of Team 2. It’s one against five, and the best she can do is stall. So long as she can keep the team in conversation instead of outright trying to nab her, she can hold out until her team makes it here and hightail it back to Goiky with them. That’s easier said than done, but she’ll see what she can do regardless.

Snowball mulls this over for a moment, before tentatively saying “Well, we were on the same team in BFB. Remember iance? Shouldn’t that mean something? Technically, if you think about it, I’m a part of your te-”

“Unless your name is Bubble, I don’t give a shit about iance, so you shouldn’t even bother trying with that angle,” she says haughtily, chin raised. Snowball is worse when he tries to use things like logic and reasoning to his advantage. Truly, that doesn’t suit him.

“Hey, guys! Hey!” Nickel cries, bounding forward excitedly. Behind him, the other Nickel facepalms, looking pained. “Remember me? I’m here too!” He stops in front of Book and Taggy, beaming brightly. The two slowly blink, looking baffled by his presence. “Fanny told me about the team swap, but she didn’t tell me what team you all were on! So what’s the name of this team, huh? Tell me tell me tell me!”

Book looks overwhelmed by the barrage of questions, meaning Taggy has to interject. “We’re Team 2 ;D!” they declare, before deflating a second later. “...Before you ask, the name wasn’t our choice ;-_-.”

“Wait, you guys are Team 2?” Nickel asks, looking baffled. A moment later, he trains a disgruntled glare onto Fanny. “You could have told me that, you know!”

“How was I to know you’re invested in what happens with your old teammates?” she retorts, rolling her eyes.

“You saw how I freaked out when you told me Bomby was missing!”

“Yeah, most people freak out when they hear anyone they know is missing, regardless of if they’re close or not. Just so you know.”

“Huh.” Nickel mulls that over for a moment.

While he does, Book takes the opportunity to speak up. “Not that I’m not glad to see here, but what are you doing here, Nickel?” she prompts. “You’ve been eliminated for a while. I wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon.”

“Oh! I was erased from existence just like Fanny was!” Nickel says brightly, before hesitating. “I… think. That is what happened, right?”

“Plug on MeLife was pulled and everyone made by MePhone who wasn’t killed already was erased from existence, yeah,” she confirms with a shrug.

“I’m… going to pretend like I understand any of that,” Book says slowly, still looking really confused.

“Trust me, it makes more sense when you’re experiencing it.”

“Not that you have to understand it!” Nickel cheerily adds. “It doesn’t affect you directly anyway!”

“Basically, shit’s fucked, but there’s nothing you can do about it,” Fanny summarizes. “So you might as well not even bother.”

“What are you guys doing here?” Nickel counters, a smug expression on his face as if he had just realized he could turn Book’s earlier question back around on her.

“Oh. Did I not tell you? Oops.” Fanny says flatly. “On Fan’s stupid livestream, Tree managed to track me down and ask a few questions. Apparently, the challenge for today is to track me down and bring me back. Which is kind of confusing, since two teams are supposed to be up for elimination, but only one can get immunity…” She trails off, thinking.

“Jeez, that’s the challenge?” grumbles the other Nickel, expression flat. “Seems like something the host should do themselves.”

“It’s not like lackluster challenges are unique to their show,” Balloon dryly points out. “One of the final challenges of season three was to find ways to prolong the season because MePhone was scared of it ending and having to go back to season two, so…”

“How did you guys get here, anyway?” Fanny says, squinting. “I don’t even know where this island is.”

“Golf Ball made a device to trace the location of your livestream, and then made another device to open a portal to the location :/,” Taggy says with a sigh. Fanny has long stopped wondering how they do that with their mouth. “Snowball stole the second one ;D.” The object in question flexes, smirking smugly.

“I guess that makes sense.”

“Oh!” Nickel suddenly cries, eyes wide. “I have an idea! How did Two phrase the challenge, exactly?”

“Well, I’m a written transcript of the current TPOT episode,” Book says sagaciously, flipping through her pages before stopping. “Here’s where Two was giving the challenge.” She taps at a paragraph. Squinting, Fanny leans in to read.

Well, since Fanny is missing, how about this? Your next challenge is to track down our missing contestant and bring them back to me! First two teams to do so win immunity! On the next line is a cut off question from Golf Ball, asking how two teams can bring back one person, but it seems like her question never gets answered.

“That phrasing is vague enough that we can work with it,” Nickel declares, looking satisfied. “Since I’m a missing contestant, too!”

“Ex-contestant, maybe,” Ice Cube mutters, scoffing.

“I figure we can rig this challenge a little bit and net immunity for the people we want to win,” Nickel says to Fanny. “I want Book and Taggy to go far, y’know? They’re my friends! Former Just Not-ers! We played Goikys and Dragons together! And I bet you’re rooting for your team, too, since you’re, uh, one of the people on it.” She nods slowly, liking this suggestion more and more by the minute. It ensures that both of them get what they want.

“All of those things you said about us could be said about Pillow too /:7,” Taggy points out.

“Pillow is not my friend,” Nickel growls in response, a dark look in his eyes. “And anyway, I don’t want her to win! Who knows what that maniac will do with Two’s power! I want you guys to win! So take me back to Two. Even if they’re hesitant, I bet I could sweet talk them into getting your team immunity easily.”

“If it means you’re leaving, I’m all for this plan,” the other Nickel readily declares. “The sooner the better.”

“Be nice, Nickel,” Balloon grumbles, looking exasperated.

“Aw,” Clover says, looking glum. “We’ll miss you, other Nickel!”

“No, he’s the other Nickel,” Fanny refutes, pointing at the one leaning against Balloon. “Our Nickel came first, so he doesn’t have to have anything added to his name.”

“What?!” sputters the other Nickel in dismay. “That’s not fair!”

“Huh, you’re right, I do have seniority,” says Nickel as the realization begins to slowly dawn on him. “Yay!”

“So we’re seriously taking this guy?” Snowball says derisively, picking up Nickel. Immediately, he begins to kick his legs in the air desperately, trying to get out of his grip. “He’s not even part of the challenge!”

“He could be,” Fanny flatly retorts, baring her teeth at him. “And he’ll go with you a lot easier than I will. Why not make things easier for yourselves and reason with Two when the time comes?”

Book looks skeptical, but eventually shrugs. “If Gaty could get through to Two, I don’t see why we can’t,” she muses. Fanny grimaces at the mention of her eliminated teammate. “I guess it’s as good a plan as any.”

“Now to figure out how to get Golf Ball’s device working again ',x^I…” Taggy muses. Snowball sets Nickel atop his head alongside Grassy, the latter waving at the coin while the former glowers at him. 

Most of them retreat to a corner to troubleshoot, but Book hesitates, staring at the other Nickel. “Is there a reason why there’s two Nickels, or…?” she says slowly, her brow furrowed.

“Shit sucks,” the other Nickel deadpans.

“He’s my cousin!” Nickel excitedly hollers, beaming widely.

Fan, who was perched on the windowsill facing the field in front of the entrance, suddenly straightens, looking over his shoulder. “Another group of people just appeared!”

“Oh, shit,” Fanny groans, throwing her head back. “What objects do you see?”

“Uh…” He wrinkles his nose as if in deep thought. “There’s a tennis ball, a TV, a bottle, a pen, a-”

When the team is recognized, all current TPOT competitors join Fanny in their groaning. “Protect Nickel!” Book declares, one hand on her hip as a fired up look flickers behind her eyes.

“Wait, what team is it?” Nickel yells from his spot on Snowball’s head, his eyes wide. “I’m completely clueless because of the team swap!”

“Uhhh…” all of the TPOT competitors say in unison, all of them realizing that they have no chance of properly pronouncing… that team’s name. Before any of them are forced to answer, though, the door to the hotel slams open, causing Fanny to jump.

“Looks like we were beat here,” Liy curses under her breath.

“But look, Fanny’s still over there!” Pen hollers, prompting a frustrated glare from her as she scrambles backward, trying to bounce on the end of the couch she had been perched on. There’s a heavy, awkward moment where… that team stares at her, before suddenly both Liy and Pen lunge forward at the same time. But the shared motion causes the two to collide with one another and fall to the ground.

She takes advantage of the brief pause to run along the firm backing of the couch, running over and jumping onto the counter to glare at her pursuers. “Fan, put your damn phone down and start hitting them with pillows or something!” Fanny barks.

“But this footage would be so good for my blog!” he whines in response, making no move to actually help her. He can be frustratingly single minded at times.

“I hate you!” she yells, and he just laughs.

Of course, things are quick to devolve into outright chaos even with just two teams here. With that team still chasing after her, as well as Team 2 eventually ending up dragged into the fight, as well as the Inanimate Insanity ex-contestants generally getting in the way of things whether it’s purposeful or not (During the scuffle, Fan dives between crowds all for the sake of getting the best shot he can. It keeps that team off of her for just a little longer, but she does hope he doesn’t get hurt. Paper is less fragile than a bubble, but still, she worries), it makes for a relatively messy romp.

Things end up even worse after Cloudyay and Death PACT Yet Again finally make it to the hotel. They wrestle getting through the door, Pencil and Pin getting in an intense scuffle on the grass outside, and by the time they all finally cram inside, save for Black Hole, who hovers by the entrance uncertainly, Tree strikes a pose, one hand on his hand as he beams. “Fanny, we’re here to rescue you!” he declares, standing in front of the team like an intrepid leader.

Of course, his voice is swallowed up by all the yelling and chaos. Fanny looks up from where she had been throwing books from a nearby bookshelf at members of that team every time they drew too close to her. “Took you long enough!” she yells in response. “Now hurry up and come get me! I’m tired of having to dodge these guys!”

“O-Oh, uh-” Tree stammers, looking caught off guard.

Meanwhile, Marker just beams, eternally the go with the flow sort. “Gotcha!” he says brightly, running forward. A moment later, Tree, Pin, and Robot Flower all dart after him.

As they run toward her, she scrambles back up the couch. That team is more preoccupied with Cloudyay, leading to the two being distracted by petty bickering. Team 2 is clustered in a corner. At some point, Nickel had been transferred from Snowball, who’s now fending off anyone who grows too close, to Ice Cube, whose deadpan expression perfectly conveys how she feels about the arrangement. They seem to be waiting for the perfect chance to slip out of the doorway unnoticed, but there still remains plenty of people in front of it.

As for the non-TPOT competitors, Fan is still recording the scene with a giddy glee, even as he gets shoved and elbowed. The only time he verbally objects is when his phone is knocked from his hands. Balloon has been hoisted up into Clover’s arms and is being held in the air, as far away from the chaos as he can get, while the other Nickel is closely pressed against her, bristling defensively. The three of them are almost a little pocket of peace amongst the chaos, all of the flailing limbs and kicking legs managing to be aimed away from them. Lucky.

Fanny blinks, recentering herself, and tenses. The moment her team is in range, she leaps off the back of the couch, cushioning her landing in Tree’s tangling of branches and leaves. Geez, when was the last time he got a good pruning? After she spends a moment readjusting herself, she lets out a satisfied hum and begins to bark out “Alright, let’s-”

Before she can finish, though, she spots OJ in the stairwell and immediately tenses warily. She knows from Bottle how easily glass objects can end up shattering. It’s a miracle Bottle has remained intact throughout all this chaos, and she has the safety cushion of the recovery center. If OJ knows what’s good for him, he would get out of here as soon as he could.

Instead, though, his expression flickers rapidly through different expressions. It goes from shock to sadness to fury all in the blink of an eye, and by the time she’s fully processed it, he’s already storming through the crowd, his anger explosive and righteous.

She takes in a breath, intending to call out to stop him before something happens. But it seems as if his anger provides a shield of sorts. Everyone who notices him is quick to take a few times back, wary of someone whose expression is that frenzied in its anger, and everyone who doesn’t is shoved aside. He makes it halfway across the lobby before calling out.

“Everyone get out of my hotel!” OJ hollers, hands cupped around his mouth. “I’m not above murder!”

“Can’t you get MePhone to fix everything?” calls a voice Fanny doesn’t recognize. One of the Inanimate Insanity contestants, then. There’s a bunch of new people clustered in the stairwell, likely drawn in by the chaos.

“No, I can’t, because he can’t create things anymore!” he yells in response. “Everyone out, I mean it! The next person who breaks something is going to be charged to fix it!”

Immediately, everyone freezes. OJ is standing on top of the reception desk, breathing heavily as he glares at the scattered arguing teams. Everyone takes stock of each other, throwing each other wary glances as they do so.

Ultimately, the other Nickel is the one to break the silence. “So, does that everybody out include everyone in this room, or all of the strangers?” he calls, voice dry.

“Well, you know what, Nickel? Since you asked that, the answer is yes,” OJ retorts, one hand on his hip. The other Nickel groans in response, while Clover sympathetically pats the top of his head. “Everybody out! No one is coming back in until I clean it all!” There’s a pause, and his glare becomes even more scathing as he sizes up the crowd. “Well?!” he barks, prompting them all to scatter out the front door.

Amidst the chaos, though, Fanny is knocked down from her perch among Tree’s leaves, and she yelps as she falls through the air only to be deftly caught before she hits the ground. For a second, she thinks it could have been Marker or Pin, spotting her falling and moving in to catch her, but Tree had been the one at the tail end of the group, like he always is. So who…?

She glances down, trying to move her neck even as the tight and suddenly foreboding grip restricts her. It’s when she gets a glimpse of blue and realizes the texture of the hand holding her is rough and stony is when she begins to outright panic, yelling and flailing and kicking her legs just as the rest of the front lobby’s inhabitants finish flooding into the grassy area outside the hotel.

Because this hand can only belong to one object, that being Winner. And if Winner was the one to grab her, that means Cloudyay is winning. And she hates Cloudyay! So she flails as much as she can, trying frantically to escape. She even tries to bite one of the fingers near her mouth, but that just hurts her teeth, because she can’t exactly chew on stone.

“Let me go!” she yells. “Let me go! Guys, guys!” Even before she gets out the second sentence, she knows she won’t gain anything from pleading to be released, so she instead opts to try to get the attention of her team. She would have kept yelling, if not for the fact that Winner’s grip shifted to wrap around her mouth and muffle her shouts.

Thankfully, her shouting does fulfill its purpose, because when her team looks behind them, they see her flailing and trapped in the grasp of Cloudyay. Tree gasps and points at them. “Hey! Give Fanny back!” he cries angrily. Of course, anger for him is slight irritation for anyone else, but she digresses.

“Mmm… no!” Yellow Face cries with a laugh.

“Get a move on, Golf Ball!” Pencil hisses, glaring at her shorter teammate who seems to be typing something into a device of hers with intent focus.

“I’m trying!” she retorts. “I would move faster if you weren’t yelling in my ear! Besides, this backup device isn’t nearly as good as the one Snowball stole.”

“Snowball’s over there,” Pillow points out with her usual disaffected air, jabbing a finger at where

“Just become a manual for Golf Ball’s device then and tell us how it works `:T!!!” she hears Taggy yell, sounding frustrated.

“That’s not how it works!” Book sputters in response. Sounds like that’s going well.

“Want me to get it back from him?” Pillow continues, smiling.

Golf Ball begins to say something, but Donut rushes to respond. “That’s a great idea, Pillow!” he cries. “How about this? Me, Pillow, and Yellow Face will go get back Golf Ball’s device. The rest of you make sure those PACT guys don’t steal back Fanny.”

“Don’t I get a say in this?” Fanny mumbles, voice remaining muffled.

“No.” Donut flatly retorts. 

“I hate you.”

“So?” he continues. “What do you say, team?” Everyone gives their approval, some more enthusiastically than others. “Great! Let’s-! Uh…” Donut catches Pillow’s eye and falters, suddenly looking nervous. “Promise me you won’t kill me again, Pillow?” he says hopefully.

“Oh, sure! I won’t kill. Not you, anyway,” Pillow says brightly. Donut hesitates, looking like he’s not sure whether he should count this as a win or not, but before he can say anything, he’s dragged off by Pillow and Yellow Face.

“Look, we outnumber them now!” Pin calls, jabbing a finger forward. “We can get Fanny back with ease!”

“Yeah!” Robot Flower brightly adds. “Let’s pummel ‘em!”

“Uh, okay… But we can’t kill them,” Black Hole stresses.

As Death PACT Yet Again all run forward, as united a force as they’ll be able to manage, she’s vaguely aware of Nickel hollering in the background. “Oh no! Is that Pillow? Keep her away from me, keep her away from me!” He’s shrieking in a panic as he jumps up and down on Snowball’s head, having maneuvered back onto his head as the group went outside.

“Stop that!” Snowball hisses, looking frustrated. “You’re going to cause my snow to come loose!”

“H-Hey, Pillow, let’s talk about this />.>/!!!” Taggy pleads, sounding panicked. “Why are you getting clo-? No!!! DX!!” With a horrible rip sound, they’re easily torn apart, and one of the Nickels shrieks in horror. Normally, Fanny would guess it to be her Nickel, but to those from Inanimate Insanity, death is suddenly a lot more permanent to them. Seeing someone die so abruptly and horrifyingly would be petrifying from that mindset, surely. So it’s hard for her to tell who screamed, with such limited mobility.

“Give us the device back!” Donut calls, straightening. If he had arms, he would be pointing them forward accusingly, and the lack of them is strongly felt.

“No!” Book yells, picking up a rock and throwing it at Donut. Unfortunately for her, it goes straight through his hole. “Oh. Uh…”

Since Cloudyay is so split up, regardless of their relative size advantage as well as might, they have a hard time fighting against Team 2, with an edge in the latter’s favor. The two groups begin to feint, making grabs for the device where they can. At some point, it had been placed onto Ice Cube’s head, the smaller object taking advantage of her slipperiness to slide across the grass out of the way. Everyone is wary around Pillow, managing to distract her long enough from killing anyone outright, but it’s a near thing. Nickel looks like he’s fearing for his life constantly, and Fanny doesn’t blame him.

The scuffle is quick to grow too chaotic for her to keep track of, especially from her spot in Winner’s arm. Since they only have the one, something they produce whenever it’s needed, it means that they have to take a more passive role in the fight, although there’s been multiple instances in which they’ve tossed her through the air just to get a few smacks on anyone approaching or to push them back. It’s dizzying, and she flails and yells as much as she can in an effort to fall to the grass instead of back into Winner’s grip.

Eventually, Black Hole notices the pattern, and after ordering Tree and Marker to dart toward Winner, he flies in the air near the same arc Fanny is growing used to be thrown in. As Winner throws her for the air to push Marker over, causing him to roll through the grass and for Tree to run after him in a panic, Black Hole catches her before she can fall back into Winner’s arm.

She does a rotation around the hole and flies through the air. “How is this helping at all?!” she hollers as she flies.

“Oh. Whoops. That usually works better than it just did,” he says sheepishly, before moving to catch her again. She just flies even faster that time, causing her to scream in rage.

“Stop that! You’re just making it worse!” she hollers in frustration. Black Hole backs up, and Winner just reaches up to catch her. Nothing had changed, really. She just had the fear of death put into her, something she hadn’t been ever properly acquainted with before now. But flying through the air, knowing that if she hits the grass there’s a good chance of her not coming back… It’s disconcerting. Terrifying, too, but the former feels as if it affords her more control.

Either way, three teams continue to fight, none of them ever making proper headway on reaching their goals. Team 2 keeps the device from Cloudyay, Cloudyay keeps Fanny from Death PACT. It’s infuriating that nothing changes, no matter how long the scuffle continues.

All throughout this, that team has been watching on the sidelines, all of them visibly unsure. Liy is yelling something, bristling in protest, but it’s hard to hear anything over the overwhelming chaos and the sound of wind rushing in her ears. Something is displaying on TV’s screen, too. She just wishes she could make out what…

Fanny gets an answer to her question when a moment later, Liy reaches for her switch and flips it to reveal her smaller, hidden switch, flipping it before lunging for both Tennis Ball and Basketball, carrying each of them in one hand. She throws them both at Black Hole, and predictably, he moves through the air to stop them from being absorbed into him. The angle to which he moves at, though, is perfect for catching both of the balls in his orbit, flinging them into the air just like she had been.

This action had been done at the same time as Winner had thrown her, so as she falls in the air, now less alarmed by the constant rising and falling and more frustrated, she’s grabbed by one of the balls (it’s hard to tell from the angle). She just groans as she’s tilted to face the sky, bouncing a few times against the grass. Pretty solid strategy, if not for the fact that Winner won’t let her go that easily.

When she gets the chance to orient herself, she notes that she’s been grabbed by Tennis Ball. Both of the balls had likely been sent for practicality. Winner is quick to run forward, using their fingers to flick Basketball back in the direction of her team. The ball rolls quickly against the grass, slamming against her clustered teammates and causing all of them to fall. They pump their fist, beaming widely. “Nice, a strike!” they say brightly, before glancing over to Tennis Ball, who’s sweating. “Well, it might be a spare…” they muse, before leaning forward and grabbing him, lifting into the air and shaking him firmly so that Fanny falls through his grip, and then throwing him toward his team as well.

“So close,” Tree sighs, burying his head in his hands in frustration.

“But so far,” Pin agrees, looking frustrated.

Tennis Ball, for his part, looks panicked as his team tries to get their bearings, before his eyes latch onto the other Nickel. “Nickel? What are you-?” he begins, brow furrowed, before he shakes his head. “Never mind! Team! Grab Nickel! If we can’t bring back Fanny with us, we might be able to use him to get immunity!”

“Wait, wh-?” he begins, cut off by being yanked by Pen and Liy and carried back to TV, who rolls away toward Tennis Ball, Bottle, and Basketball, the latter fidgeting with a device of their own to get back to Goiky. “What?!?!?! No!!!! Balloon, Clover, do something!” he shrieks, thrashing like a mad man in the two’s grip.

“Oh, come on,” Balloon grumbles, running a hand over his face in exasperation, before dragging Clover and dragging her after him. “Come on, let’s go get our stupid boyfriend back. It would be nice if we got lucky, you know.”

“Not how it works, but I’ll try my hardest!” she says brightly, running at his side with a wide grin.

“Those morons don’t even realize they have the wrong Nickel,” Fanny grumbles to herself as Cloudyay, Death PACT, and Team 2 continue to squabble over both Fanny herself as well as Golf Ball’s device.

“There’s two of them?” Winner prompts. As much as she doesn’t want to have casual conversation with the person currently holding her hostage, she reluctantly nods. “Huh. That’s fun. Not that I care so long as we end up with immunity.” They just smile, looking smug, and she’s so frustrated that she tries to bite them again, only to immediately regret it a moment later.

Either way, that team is the first to return to Goiky, Balloon and Clover hot on their heels. It’s ironic, considering they didn’t bring back either her or TPOT’s Nickel. It makes for a good amount of false hope.

Winner jumps back as Marker rolls forward, trying to grab Fanny, and in response they just stretch their arm up higher, grimacing. “Hey, guys?” they call over to the spilt up members of their team. “Are you almost done? We could use a little help over here!”

“Hey, Icy!” Nickel yells, a wide grin on his face. “Pass me the device!”

Ice Cube glances up at him from where she had been sliding across the grass, eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Alright,” she says slowly. “But if you break it, we’re leaving you here.”

He doesn’t look fazed in the slightest by the ominous, firm threat. Instead, he just stares down at the device as he catches it. “Just like with TB and the yoyleite,” he says to himself right before he immediately presses all of the buttons randomly and recklessly. Whether it’s because Clover’s luck has rubbed off on him or because Nickel’s reckless impulsiveness never gets him punished, a portal opens up in front of him, displaying the yellow grass and green trees of Goiky on the other side.

The scuffling comes to a gradual halt as the surrounding people notice what he did. “...Seriously?” Ice Cube grumbles, looking exasperated. Either way, she’s first to make a break for the portal, the rest of her team (and Nickel) hot on her heels.

Of course, Golf Ball notices this and begins to sputter in offense. “Wh- But-” She says in dismay, before shaking her head. “Team! After them! We can’t get stranded here!”

Cloudyay makes a break for the portal. Fanny managed to end up at a better angle after the constant throwing, so she manages to lift her head and yell out “Guys! Go through the portal before it closes!”

Robot Flower, taking advantage of her mechanical nature, grabs onto her teammates save for Black Hole and goes for the portal at a breakneck speed. With Cloudyay still fighting with Team 2, they manage to get through the portal without much fuss. Except Fanny is still there, stuck in Winner’s hand. She groans and resigns herself to another loss, even as it stings.

In the ensuing scuffle, Golf Ball’s device goes flying from Nickel’s hand as he runs back onto Snowball’s head and ends up on the grass, but the two arguing teams are more worried with forcing themselves through the portal, wrestling with the other team as they do so.

Going through the portal is disorientating as hell. Even as Winner’s grip ends up loosening on her, the most she can do is stagger awkwardly down onto the grass, Pillow breaking her fall. A moment later, Pencil spots her, and forcing herself to her feet, she drags Fanny over to Two, who seems more preoccupied with arguing with… that team.

“I’m pretty sure the challenge was to bring back Fanny, though,” they muse, tapping at their cheek. “Regardless of how Nickel made his way out, I dunno if bringing him back will net you immunity.” They spot Pencil and brighten. “Speaking of immunity!” They dart over to her and spread out their hands, grinning. “Cloudyay gets immunity!” they declare, prompting weak cheers easily overpowered by exasperated groans.

“But it’s double eliminations, not triple eliminations!” Tennis Ball whines, TV giving a demonstration featuring pictures behind him. “We should get immunity for bringing back Nickel, since he was technically a missing contestant too!”

“You’re right, you should,” Balloon calls, stepping forward, causing the other Nickel to sputter in dismay.

“Balloon!”

“But,” he continues, throwing a stern look over to the other Nickel, who grumbles under his breath. “That’s not Nickel. Or, well, not your Nickel. He’s over there, see?” He points over to the other coin, who’s perched on top of Snowball and waves excitedly when he notices all the attention suddenly on him.

“Hm,” Two says, squinting as their arms extend to grab both of the coins before they lift up both of the Nickels and dangle them by their legs. “Well, this is a conundrum. Which one is the real Nickel?”

“It’s not like I’m his evil clone!” the other Nickel shrieks, thrashing violently in his grip.

“Actually, if you think about it, you kind of are,” Nickel points out, his wide beam at odds with his words. “Since you were made after me and all.”

“Both of you calm down, they’re just asking which one is the Nickel they know,” Balloon says flatly. “And to answer your question, it would be that one.” He points at the Nickel who’s smiling.

“Yeah. Our Nickel would rather rip off his mouth than smile in front of so many people!” Clover adds with a laugh.

“From personal experience, I don’t recommend it,” Fanny says. Pin shifts guiltily, but wisely doesn’t say anything.

“Huh. Okay.” Two drops both of them onto the grass, causing them to both let out synchronized yelps as they fall. Balloon and Clover make a beeline to the other Nickel, both of them working to pick him up. He goes limp in their grasp like a cat, legs swinging below him as he scowls.

“I can’t believe your stupid friends kidnapped me,” he complains to his cousin.

“Not my fault they can’t tell us apart,” Nickel haughtily replies as he gets to his feet. “I’m hurt, Jiggle boy!” he adds with a pout as he turns to Tennis Ball, who grumbles something under his breath. “I thought we were friends, and yet you mix the two of us up?! Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if you mix me up with Coiny on the regular!”

“Coiny is orange and has arms,” he flatly retorts. “You two look nearly identical.”

“Balloon and Clover could tell me apart from their Nickel the moment they saw me,” Nickel says with a pout, kicking at the grass. “Can’t someone as smart as you be able to do the same?”

“Well, to be fair, we’re biased,” Balloon points out, hugging the other Nickel close to his chest. Clover just giggles as a pink butterfly flutters through the air, landing on top of the other Nickel.

“Clover, get your butterfly away from me,” he huffs, looking frustrated.

“I can’t help that he likes you!” she says in response.

“He only likes me because you like me!”

“Well, I can’t help that either.” she concludes with a laugh. There’s a fond edge to her words as she smiles widely at him, cheeks dusted with a blush.

After a moment, the other Nickel squirms his way out of Balloon’s grip and levels a glare onto Tennis Ball. “You’re officially my least favorite ball,” he declares. He looks a lot less intimidating with that butterfly fluttering in circles around him. “To be clear, you wouldn’t beat Baseball even on a good day, but that stunt you pulled definitely put you in dead last.”

“Right,” Two announces, clapping their hands together. “Now that we’ve figured out the real Nickel, the teams who have immunity are Cloudyay and Team 2! That means that Death PACT Yet Again and 🎶🎶 are up for elimination!”

“I hate Cloudyay,” Fanny mutinously mutters. Tree sympathetically pats her on the back.

Now that the challenge is over, most of the teams scatter. Book runs over to the recovery center, grabs Price Tag, and drags them back to the cluster of people, hovering awkwardly around Nickel as if they’re worried he’ll be spirited away at any moment. Her own team is the other group that remains, still surrounding her in a way that almost feels protective. She appreciates it, but she doesn’t want to feel like she’s made of glass, either. Two is also still hanging around, looking rather unconcerned by it all.

Suddenly, a portal opens up, and Fan tumbles out with a yelp, hand on his head as he grimaces. He slams against the grass and doesn’t move to get up right away, sprawled out on the grass limply. Some people would think he was dead, but Fanny knows he’s just dramatic.

“Hi, Fan!” Clover calls, waving excitedly. He just groans and offers her a shaky thumbs up.

Golf Ball is quick to spot the commotion and stomp over in a huff, yanking her device from Fan’s hands. “I’ll be taking that back,” she says haughtily before storming away.

“Jokes on her, I got Test Tube to reverse engineer it before I came here,” Fan says as he gets to his feet, dusting himself off. Fanny trots over to him and comes to a stop, squinting at him.

“What are you doing here?” she says.

“Well, I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye to you before you were dragged off, and I wanted to give you something,” he says sheepishly.

“Good thing you did. Looks like you’ll be our ticket home.” Balloon says dryly.

“I can take you home!” Two volunteers, hand shooting into the air.

“Uh, how trustworthy is this person, again?” says the other Nickel, squinting at them.

“More trustworthy than our other hosts!” Nickel says brightly.

“You know that means nothing to me when it comes from you, right?” he says flatly in reply.

“They’re fine,” Fanny says dryly. “So what was so important that you came here to give to me?”

“Oh! This!” he says brightly, producing a phone nearly identical to hers and offering it to her. She stares down at it, frowning.

“...I already have a phone,” she points out flatly.

“I know that!” he gasps, affronted. “But this is a special phone, custom-made by Test Tube after we started boycotting Meeple! It has plenty of cool features, and more importantly…” He opens the messaging app and shows it to her proudly. “Me, Test Tube, and Bot’s numbers! I wasn’t sure about Bot, but since you guys got along so well, I figured it didn’t hurt to add them. So if one of us ever needs anything, we’re just a message away!”

“All of this could have been achieved with a slip of paper.”

“Well, I wanted to give you a phone,” Fan retorts, shoving it in her face more insistently. “Let me guess, your phone’s a Meeple one, right?” She slowly nods. “Exactly! Who wants to support that creep Cobs, right?”

“How can I support someone who got blown up?” she deadpans.

Fan huffs. “Not the point,” he says haughtily. “The point is, Test Tube is working on some real nifty features to help us adjust into the real world! With our situation, we’d have a pretty rough time doing much of anything. But she’s working to do what she can, because she is a genius and all. Trust me, it’ll come in handy. Please?” He flashes her his best puppy dog eyes. She hates how good she is at that.

“...Fine,” she relents, rolling her eyes. “Not that I’ll need those features, but I guess it wouldn’t be so bad to be able to keep in touch. It’s better than needing a device or Two’s help to be able to even talk.”

“I want a phone!” Nickel complains.

“Oh. Uh…” Fan says, smiling nervously. “I didn’t grab one for you. Hey, maybe your cousin will get one for you!”

“Way to throw me to the wolves,” the other Nickel grumbles as Nickel turns a pleading stare onto him. Balloon eventually takes pity on the both of them and offers Nickel a slip of paper with three numbers scrawled onto it, much to the other Nickel’s consternation.

“Right,” Tree begins, clearing his throat as he does so. “This probably makes a lot more sense to you, Fanny, but we’re all sort of out of the loop here. Number one, who are these lot?” He gestures to the non-TPOT contestants with a wide, sweeping motion.

“Well-” she begins, but Fan shoves in front of her.

“I’m Fan!” he says brightly. “Proud owner of Fan’s Fantastic Features, part crab dad whenever Paintbrush has me babysit, two-time Inanimate Insanity competitor-”

“And my cousin, supposedly,” Fanny interjects before he can get too far off course.

“As if you aren’t the one who suggested it,” Fan huffs in reply, looking affronted.

“Wait, I’m confused, are you guys related?” Pin asks, raising her hand sheepishly. “You don’t really look alike. Or act alike. The only similarity you two have is you guys being fans, but it’s not like Coiny and Nickel are related just because they’re both coins.”

At the mention of Coiny and Nickel in the same sentence, both coins straighten. The other Nickel looks really uncomfortable at the conversation’s sudden turn, which is fair, while Nickel looks disquietingly eager to say something. Fanny knows she has to do something to cut this off at the head, though, so she turns to him with an intense glare. “Don’t you dare,” she warns.

“Why not?” he whines, face scrunching up in dismay.

“Don’t.”

“Not that it means anything to you, because you’re an idiot and I hate you,” the other Nickel begins, and she can’t help but snort. Way to come on strong, huh? “But I would really like it if you didn’t remind me of everything, even if your presence is enough to do that. Crazy, right? It’s almost like I don’t want to think about the shitty hand I’ve been dealt!”

The other Nickel is frustrated and annoyed, while Nickel is clueless to the point it’s irritating. She does empathize with the other Nickel, to be clear. His outright anger and hostility is beginning to grow grating, though. There’s only so much he can take out on someone who never asked to be made. She’s confident he can take the time to come to terms with all of it on his own, without baring his teeth at Nickel like he’s responsible for all of it.

“So, uh, not to derail the conversation,” Tree begins, hesitantly raising his hand. “But what exactly happened to you, Fanny?”

“Yeah! You just disappeared during Cake at Stake!” Robot Flower adds.

“And the recovery center wasn’t working at all to bring you back!” Marker wails, looking distraught. “We thought you were gone forever!”

Hearing that makes her stop short. “Wasn’t working how?” she says tentatively.

“Here, let’s show you,” Black Hole suggests, leading the group over to the nearby recovery center. They stop in front of it, and Marker is the one to step forward, still glancing at Fanny as if he’s worried about her disappearing all over again.

“See?” Marker types her name into the recovery center with a dismayed expression, hitting the enter button. Instead of receiving the error that the object is still alive, as what usually happens whenever the name of a still living person is typed in, there’s a new error message, something she’s never seen before is displayed on her screen.

ERROR: This object does not exist.

Seeing the words makes something drop out in her stomach as a sense of dread presses against her. She’s never been all too afraid of death before, but realizing that she no longer has the cushion of recovery centers to fall back on is a new type of terrifying. Next time she dies will be real, permanent. So how is she supposed to come to terms with that?

“Two gave us the manual that came with the recovery center, but it didn’t cover anything like this,” Tree adds, looking morose. “That sort of error message is meant to cover cases when an object’s name who hasn’t been registered into the center is entered, or when something like the sky or the ocean is entered. Neither of those cases applied.”

“We really thought we lost you, Fanny,” Black Hole adds, and he makes up for his lack of face by pouring every ounce of fear he can manage into his words, prompting a guilty wince from her. “What happened?” She shifts in discomfort but doesn’t answer. It’s personal, and involves more people than just her. She finds herself overwhelmed by all of it. How will her team, her family, react to the notion that she isn’t a real person? She doesn’t want to be treated any differently.

Meanwhile, Nickel plods over to the recovery center and types in his name, a frown on his face as he hits the green button. Predictably if not painfully, he gets the same message and begins to sulk. She can’t help but watch as Fan walks up to the recovery center next and frowns, slowly typing in three letters, B-O-W. He barely even hesitates before hitting enter.

“What did you do that for?” she calls, drawing attention over to him.

“I just wanted to see what would happen,” he responds, looking unrepentant.

“It’s not going to work. You have to register people in the recovery center before you can use it to bring them back, and-” Her lecture is abruptly cut off by the sound of the recovery center loudly whirling, quickly followed by smoke and a fire just a moment later. Her team yelps and scrambles back, while Nickel hovers near the edges of the fire, mouth open in a small o.

Quickly, Two scrambles over, eyes wide and distraught as they come to a stop in front of the flaming recovery center. “What happened?!” they cry, seemingly in shock.

“This idiot tried to revive a ghost,” Fanny hisses, elbowing Fan, who lets out a whine.

“Which one, Bow or Knife?” Balloon asks, brow furrowed.

“Love how you don’t even ask about Dough,” the other Nickel says, snickering into his foot.

“...Oh, right, I forgot about him,” Balloon muses after a brief pause.

“And anyway, he obviously tried to revive the person he didn’t even know while she was alive instead of the person he spent a better half of a year competing with,” the other Nickel continues, voice drenched with righteous anger as he glares at Fan in frustration. Abruptly, Fanny is reminded of the fondness Bot had talked about Nickel with just last night. They’re pretty close, seems like. His anger at Fan is more than justified in that sense.

“I wanted to revive Bow for Bot’s sake!” Fan defends.

“No, you wanted to revive Bow because you’re selfish,” he just as quickly fires back. “You always are when it comes to Bot! God, would it kill you to think of anyone-?!”

“Nickel, quit it,” Balloon scolds.

“Y-You don’t need to fight!” adds Clover, who looks overwhelmed.

“Don’t act like you don’t care about them just as much-” the other Nickel begins again, trying to rally after being so abruptly cut off.

“I think Fan just wanted to see what would happen if he tried to revive a ghost and entered the first name that came to mind,” Nickel supplies, less trying to defend the other man and argue against his cousin in turn as much as he’s tentatively testing out a realization. If Fanny had to guess, he wasn’t even paying attention to the conversation at large, more interested in the flames.

“...Yeah, he’s right,” Fan sheepishly admits. “I was just curious. I thought saying it was for Bot sounded better than admitting that, but I forgot how, uh, fired up you get when it comes to them.” He grimaces sheepishly, rubbing at his cheek awkwardly, but he brightens up as he turns to Nickel. “Wow, I’m surprised you caught onto that! You’re really smart!”

“No he isn’t,” the other Nickel immediately refutes. “The idiot can’t even spell his own name right.”

“We all have our own abilities, dear cousin,” Nickel cheekily replies, grinning widely, and the other Nickel groans loudly.

“...Why are you here, again?” Tree blankly asks, and Fanny can’t tell if it’s directed toward Nickel or the group of relative strangers clustered in front of the still-burning recovery center.

“You guys have been here for all of five minutes and you’ve set my recovery center on fire!” Two gripes, looking dismayed as their hands rest on the sides of their head. “I can’t believe this! How are we meant to bring back fallen contestants now?!”

“Make your challenges less lethal?” Balloon suggests as he wrings his hands.

“Rely on luck! I’m good at that,” Clover says brightly.

“Cancel the show,” the other Nickel deadpans.

“I guess I’ll have to order a new one,” Two glumly concludes, ignoring the interjections of the peanut gallery. They put out the fire with a wave of their hand, causing the Inanimate Insanity contestants to gape in shock at the casual display of power. For all the current and former TPOT contestants, though, something as simple as that doesn’t even faze them. “Still, though, I didn’t know ghosts were real! How do you become one?”

“Are you worried about dying, Two?” Pin prompts, blinking.

“No, but I’m worried about you guys dying!” they cry, eyes going wide and watery as their mouth wobbles in dismay. “Algebrailians live for a long time! I’ve never even heard of one of us dying from old age! But what about you guys?! I don’t wanna lose any of you!”

“You’re just worried about Gaty,” Fanny says flatly as she turns her attention onto a squirming Fan, even as Two sputters in dismay. “Have you learnt your lesson?”

“Don’t type the names of ghosts into the recovery center,” Fan glumly recites, looking like a kicked puppy. “Oh, and to answer your question, it’s actually really fascinating! Since all of the contestants on Inanimate Insanity were created by MePhone, utilizing the power of the Shimmer egg-”

“We’re getting into this now?” the other Nickel says, raising his voice to speak over the other man. Cutting Fan off doesn’t actually do anything, Fanny muses. He’ll continue to ramble regardless of if no one is listening to him, and the other person will inevitably give up eventually.

“I don’t see why not!” Fan says, before launching right back into his explanation completely undeterred by the protest. The other Nickel replies by burying his head in Clover’s leaves, letting out a muffled groan as she sympathetically pats him on the back. Two is nodding along attentively, looking unfazed by his enthusiasm. 

As Fan rants and rambles about their creation, going into uncomfortable detail about how he felt upon learning that Fanny was essentially a version of him created and ultimately scrapped, Fanny feels the gazes of her teammates turn onto her. It’s hard to tell what Robot Flower is feeling, what with the lack of eyes, but she thinks she’s matching Pin when it comes to her incredulous, somewhat uncomfortable shock. Meanwhile, her more long term teammates look… sympathetic, maybe, and more than a bit horrified. She doesn’t spend too long trying to decipher the meaning behind the looks in their eyes. It makes her feel uncomfortably exposed.

Instead, she looks toward the other four people who are affected by Fan’s bright, clueless chatter. Nickel doesn’t seem to notice it, poking at the charred remains of the recovery center with a frown. The other Nickel is pressed tightly to Clover’s side, looking unhappy while ultimately resigned. Clover follows a butterfly flying in low, graceful circles with her eyes, smiling softly, while Balloon scowls, rubbing at his arm in methodical, mechanical motions likely meant to bring him some sort of comfort.

“And that’s how you come back as a ghost!” When Fan finally comes to a stop, grinning widely not moments after concluding his impromptu speech, Two claps politely.

“Wow!” they say brightly. “That was informative. But…” They trail off, frowning. “Not applicable for real objects, huh? Hey, at least that explains the error message! A recovery center can’t bring back what isn’t real!”

Fanny winces at how matter-of-fact they sound, as much as she would prefer not to. A moment later, she says “But it was able to bring me and Nickel back before!” She wishes her voice didn’t sound as strained as it did, but she’s being reminded of her situation in the cruelest of ways even after she thought she had come to terms with all of it.

“Yeah, but I think the plug being pulled on that MeLife thing might have changed things,” Two muses, rubbing at their chin. “Besides, that egg being removed from that phone means none of you can be brought back either, right?” The Inanimate Insanity contestants all nod with varying degrees of hesitance. “So that might also affect things. And since you guys aren’t exactly… real…” For the first time, Two stumbles, as if realizing it might be a sore subject, but after a moment they doggedly continue. “Who knows how the recovery center handles that?”

“Whatever,” the other Nickel grumbles. “Can we not think about this anymore? So we have no recovery or chance at coming back. Big deal. We already knew that when we brought that egg with us.”

“We had to return it to the Shimmers!” Fan cries, eyes blazing with determination. “Are you saying we should have left them there?!”

“Of course not, jeez,” he grumbles in reply, leaning against Balloon. The taller object wraps an arm around the other Nickel in response, looking amusedly affectionate. “You should calm down.”

“As if you weren’t just at his throat five minutes ago,” Balloon points out, looking more amused than anything.

“Shimmers…” Two mumbles, poking at their cheek as their face scrunches up in thought. “Shimmers, Shimmers, Shimmers…” Suddenly, they snap their fingers, straightening as their eyes go alight with revelation. “Oh! I remember now! I’ve met those guys before!”

Fan’s eyes widen to the size of dinner plates as he trains a near-reverent gaze onto Two. “Really?!” he cries, voice rising several octaves in his excitement. “Wow! Well, I guess you are an alien, so that shouldn’t be that surprising, but still! Are you guys friends?”

Two looks as unbothered by Fan’s relentless enthusiasm as ever, which Fanny envies. She hasn’t even been on the receiving end of his intensity, and she already feels worn out. Maybe Two can handle it easily because they’re unendingly upbeat too. “Sure! Well, it’s been a few years since we chatted… Ever since those eggs of theirs went missing, actually. They were all “we’re gonna tear that piece of corn limb from limb” and I was like “well, I’m not gonna stop you”, y’know?” They laugh, grinning widely.

“Suitcase was way ahead of them on that one, I guess,” Balloon mumbles, shrugging.

A moment later, Two’s eyes light up with an entirely new realization. “Oh! That egg you rescued from your phone host was one of the stolen ones, wasn’t it?”

“Sure was!” Fan boasts, puffing out his chest. “And me and Test Tube found and took care of the other lost one, too! So we’re pretty buddy buddy with the Shimmers now. Well, I guess they definitely don’t like MePhone or anything, which is fair. It’s not like they have to like him, right? But I think…” Everyone’s faces go blank again as Fan begins to mindlessly rant and ramble, Two being the only one to nod along.

“You know, Fan, I really like you!” they declare, wrapping him in a one handed hug and pressing him against their chest. Of course, the motion causes him to scrunch up, being made of paper and all, and he lets out several muffled cries that go ignored as Two continues “If you want, I could make you a competitor on TPOT!”

“Please no,” Pin mumbles, running a hand over her face.

“Hey, that’s my cousin you’re talking about,” Fanny protests, even if it is token and half hearted.

“Do you want him to join?” Tree asks. She remains stubbornly silent. “That’s what I thought,” he concludes, sounding satisfied.

Fan manages to pry himself out of Two’s grip, his hands blindly flailing about in air for a moment before he grabs the crumpled edges of his fan and manages to unfold himself. “Thanks for the offer, but I think my career with reality shows is over for the time being,” he muses. “Since I can’t come back to life after I die, it’ll make things pretty difficult for me, and I think I’m more than content with being just a fan for a while.”

“Well, I’m sure I could ask my best buds Four and X to bring you back, if you’re so worried about it!” Two says brightly. Immediately, all the objects with hands begin making violent chopping motions at their necks, and the ones that don’t shake their heads violently. Fanny doesn’t know how else to hammer the point home that they shouldn’t be putting their trust in any Algebrailian, really, but especially not those two, without firing out loud, vocal objections.

Miraculously, Fan gets the hint, and he sheepishly says “I don’t think I’ll risk it either way. But hey, if anything happens, I might just use my cousin as a liaison to take you up on that!”

“Good to know you’re willing to offer me up without bothering to ask me first,” she says dryly.

“Shouldn’t you have already learnt that lesson from the livestream?” prompts the other Nickel flatly. “Bot said you didn’t have a choice in the matter.”

“...Yeah, that’s true,” she concedes with a sigh.

“Well, I’m happy with this arrangement!” Nickel says brightly. “I can’t imagine what I’d do without Loony or Clover!”

“You just met them!” the other Nickel barks. “And stop calling Balloon that!”

Nickel ignores him, but he also quiets after a moment, looking suddenly and uncharacteristically grim. “Hey,” he says quietly. “Since those guys can’t be revived anymore, what about us? I mean, the recovery center didn’t even acknowledge Fanny as a real object! So what happens if we die?”

No one has a good answer to that. They just slowly turn their attention to Two, who squirms in discomfort at all the attention. “Why are you all looking at me?” they protest. “You all know I can’t revive people! That’s Four’s thing!”

“Okay, well, grab Four then >:/,” Taggy says flatly. Fanny kind of forgot they and Book were even here, for how quiet they’ve been. Mostly, they’ve just been pressing themselves against Nickel, the coin leaning into their touch in turn. “This seems like an important thing to know `-M-.”

“Uh, Taggy, I know you weren’t around for BFB, but Four can be kind of…” Book tentatively begins.

Meanwhile, Two just beams, ignoring Book entirely. “That sounds like a great idea, Taggy!” they say brightly. Extending their arm again, they stick it through a window of the hotel, an expression of concentration on their face that morphs into satisfaction when they find what they’re looking for. Reaching back, they deftly deposit Four on the grass and wave cheerfully at them. “Hi, Four!” they say brightly.

“Oh, great, it’s you,” he grumbles, crossing his arms in frustration as he looks away from Two. “What do you want now?”

“You remember Nickel and Fanny,” they begin, gesturing at them. “As it turns out, they aren’t actually real objects! They were made by the Shimmers, kinda. You remember them, right? The recovery center doesn’t seem to be working on the two of them anymore, but does your revival still work?”

“Haven’t I already done enough for you today?” Four says flatly. “After all, me and X took in G-”

Two rushes to place their hands over his mouth, looking panicked. Their eyes drift to where Death PACT are clustered as they panickedly say “This is different, though! Does it really take that much effort to check?”

“You don’t know how to revive anyone, so what would you know?” Four says snootily, letting out a huff as he speaks. “It took X ages to perfect it!”

“Just check, please,” Two says, exasperation beginning to leak into their words.

He rolls his eyes but obliges, reaching out a finger and resting them on top of Nickel and Fanny’s heads. She can’t help but tense warily under his touch, knowing full well what Four can do when provoked. But he doesn’t do anything, and after a moment his hand draws back.

“Well, they definitely reek of Shimmers,” Four says. “I dunno how I didn’t notice sooner.”

“But…?” Two prompts.

“But I could revive them, if anything happens,” he grumpily concludes, eying Two. “Is that all?”

“Yep!” they chirp, throwing him back through the window he had grabbed him from. “Thanks!” they call after him as he flies through the air. After a moment, they turn back to the flustered objects. “See? There you go!” they say brightly.

“Oh thank god,” the other Nickel mutters under his breath.

“See? Aren’t you glad things unfolded like this?” Clover prompts, elbowing Nickel.

“I’d rather go home,” he grumbles in reply.

“Alright, now with all of that cleared up…” Two turns to Nickel, squinting at him. “I get that you disappeared from existence, just like Fanny, but since you’re back now, you should probably go back to the elimination area.”

“Well, hang on,” Balloon begins, tentatively raising his hand. “Since he’s eliminated, it shouldn’t really matter what he does, right? Shouldn’t what happens next be his decision?”

Nickel is quiet for a second before turning to the other Nickel, startlingly sober. “I’ve been thinking about this for a bit, actually,” he begins. “And I think I’m going to stay here.” Everyone looks startled by that, and he quickly continues “Not that I didn’t have fun getting to know all of you, but I have some unfinished business here, y’know? I want to try to rejoin the game! And I want to do what I can to support my team like I did today. So I’ll stay, I think until TPOT ends.” He beams widely as he finishes.

Taggy is the first to react, leaning forward and wrapping the handle on their tag around Nickel. “Get in here >x3!” they say, wrapping him in a hug. A moment later, Book mimics the motion, looking hesitant but touched by Nickel’s words.

“Probably for the better,” the other Nickel says. “Dunno how much the others could handle two Nickels back home. But, uh, I’ll see you, I guess. Whenever TPOT ends. If you wanna make your way back to us eventually.” Balloon and Clover look startled by the sudden burst of sentimentality.

“Thanks, Nickel,” Book says softly. “We’ll try our hardest to win, now that we know you’re rooting for us.”

“And, uh, try to look for Bomby too, will you?” Nickel prompts, sounding anxious. Fanny winces, looking away. “I’m worried about him.”

“We’ll try our hardest >:]!” Taggy assures him.

The group hugs for several seconds longer before letting go, Nickel trotting up to Two. “Alrightie, I’m ready!” he chirps. “Send me off!”

Both Balloon and Clover wave as Two reaches to swipe Nickel away. The other Nickel doesn’t even glower, which is a miracle in and of itself. Nickel disappears, and Fanny’s surprised by the realization that she’ll miss him. She hopes he does well for himself, wherever he ends up.

“We should get going, too,” Fan says after a moment of silence. “I bet Test Tube’s worried sick.”

“Ugh, do we have to?” the other Nickel groans. Well, she supposes it would be just Nickel, now that he’s the only one here, but it feels strange to refer to him like that. “OJ’s going to bite our heads off for what happened to his hotel.”

“We have to face the music eventually,” Balloon says dryly.

Fan glances over to her and scrambles over, beaming widely. “You should really visit again,” he says. “Bot really liked you! The least you can do is call every so often. Don’t be a stranger!”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it,” she says dryly, rolling her eyes. “...Thanks. For the help.”

He preens proudly. If his smile got any wider, his mouth would fall clean off his face. “Don’t mention it!” he says. “You’re my cousin. I wasn’t going to leave you high and dry!”

Balloon, Clover, Nickel and Two are all quietly talking, the latter excitedly explaining the process of teleportation. They look wary but willing. “Just visualize where you want to go,” they explain. “And I’ll send you there!”

Fan looks over his shoulder. “Sounds like we’re heading out,” he says apologetically. “I’ll text you so you don’t worry about us.”

“See you,” she says stiffly, and after a beat of awkwardness, she leans forward, hugging Fan. It’s nice, even if it is undercut by the surprised stares of her teammates. She glares sharply at them as she disentangles herself.

Taking a step back, she lets Fan run off to the other three, who all cluster together as Two reaches their hand up, swiping at them and the four disappearing as they raise their hand. She finds herself holding her breath until her phone vibrates with Fan’s message, assuring her as to their safety alongside a picture. She lets out a relieved sigh at the sight, a whoosh of air let out.

“Cool!” they say brightly, before throwing a not-subtle glance at the hotel. “Well, I’m going to… uh… prepare for the next challenge! Bye!” They quickly rush off.

Finally, with the departure of both Nickel and the Inanimate Insanity group, things seem to calm down, leaving Fanny alone with her team. She sighs, shoulders slumping as she sits onto the grass. The shitty sleep she got last night was definitely not enough for all of this.

Catching the eye of her team, she’s disconcerted to find that they’re still looking at her with a concerned air about them, as if she’s going to disappear at any second. “What?” she grumbles. “Why are you looking at me like that? I’m fine now. It’s not going to happen again.”

“Still,” Tree says, wrapping an arm around her and pressing her against his trunk. “I’m glad you’re alright. You really freaked us out with your whole disappearing act.”

“Like I had a choice in the matter,” she grumbles in response, scowling. “Still, it did happen at a very bad time. I…” She deflates, letting out a sigh. “I wish I got a chance to say goodbye to Gaty before Two eliminated her, though.”

“Don’t worry!” Pin says brightly. “It’s not like Gaty’s going to hold it against you. She’s the understanding type, y’know? And when the show ends, you’ll have all the time to talk to her as you could want!”

Fanny nods, but something about the other woman’s words strikes a chord with her. When the show ends, huh? Everyone back on the island had been rather insistent about knowing who you are beyond the show you’re entangled with, which she supposes is because they themselves had never gotten the chance. Before now, Fanny wouldn’t have been able to set herself apart from the show, because it was all she knew. Without it, she had no identity, nothing to fall back on, no one who cared about her.

At least she knows that she has something waiting for her beyond the show now. A family, even. Most people probably have something like that without having to be erased from existence, watch someone be blown up, and having to manually decide on just how closely related you want to be with your newly acquired family, but she digresses. There’s something beyond the show for her, something that isn’t just continuous competition for the rest of her life. There’s a future, and if it’s not set in stone at least it’s in some form there. It’s faintly relieving.

Maybe she should try to keep her thoughts rooted in the near-present, though. After all, TPOT’s been going on for such a long time, the idea of it coming to an end feels incomprehensible to her. And still, she’s gotten this far. Who’s to say she isn’t capable of winning outright? Limitless power, offered to her by an enthusiastic host.

Honestly, the idea of victory somewhat scares her, just because she knows that there’s still a contract out there bearing her signature, leaving her indebted to a megalomaniac Algebrailian who so obviously resents Two it’s kind of terrifying. Will Fanny even be able to do anything with the power if she wins it? Or will One swoop in the moment her prize is given to her, ready to collect on Fanny’s debt?

The idea scares her, and she doesn’t want to risk having it come to fruition. She’d much prefer to lift her teammates up instead, maybe see if they can protect her newfound family from the perilous prospect of a world that doesn’t allow recovery. Either way, she doesn’t want to win. Elimination is fine.

(But she can’t help but feel faintly terrified of the prospect of being eliminated from the most consistent thing in her life and just… sent on her way. Even if she has more beyond the show, it’s still… God, the idea makes her feel kind of sick.)

For now, she just sits next to her team, soaking in the presence of each member for as long as she can. One of them will be eliminated soon. It’s her fault, far more directly than Gaty’s elimination had been, at any rate. For now, she just tries to enjoy their presence while she can. 

She takes in a breath. Holds it. Lets it out. Prays to whoever might be listening that it’ll be enough to quiet her mind, even if she knows wordlessly it won’t be.

Her goodbye to Fan was temporary. Eventually, she’ll make her way back to the island, be dragged into more livestreams and whatever else the former contestants get up to. It’s reassuring that she confidently feels as if she has a place she can go, after so long of feeling alone.

It’s nice. Really, it is. So she does her best to ride that feeling out, hoping it’s enough to stifle her dread about the upcoming elimination and One’s looming presence.

(It isn’t. But when has anything succeeded on the first try for her, anyway?)