Chapter Text
“Again,” his trainer snapped.
Rin struggled to catch his breath. His belly felt like it was jerking all around and he couldn’t tell if he was actually breathing in anymore. Sweat made the floor slick and warm underneath him. He was so hot.
“Again!”
He cringed at the order, struggling to push his arms under him. They shook with the effort of moving just a few centimetres and he doubted they could hold his weight. “C-can’t,” he mumbled.
His trainer’s feet circled closer. A steady rhythm of skin on metal as he approached the boy. He squatted down, hand reaching down. Rin braced for…something to happen but the hand just landed softly on top of his head.
“Do you remember why we’re spending so much time training you?”
Because you hate me. “Because…if I’m strong…then dad can be…strong when he comes…back?” He rasped.
The hand in his hair ruffled the strands affectionately. “Very good!” His trainer cooed. “So what do you think happens if you’re weak?”
“Dad…won’t be strong enough.”
Another ruffle. “Good. Remember, you are your father’s weapon, with you he can finally put a stop to the war between humans and demons.”
Rin hummed. He already knew that. His big brother loved talking about that and all the cool future plans he had for Rin. He was supposed to be some kind of secret trump card for the Illuminati. He thought that everyone was doing a pretty lousy job of keeping it secret though since they talked about it so much.
“And Rin,” his trainer pulled his focus back to the present. “What do we do with weapons that don’t work right?”
Rin closed his eyes. “Get rid of ‘em.”
The hand left his hair and his trainer walked back to his position near the wall. “Again,” his trainer called.
Rin got up.
///\\\///\\\
Two weeks into Cram School and things were going well! Y’know. Relatively.
They had barely made any real progress on their mission objectives which was not ideal. But! Aside from that one weird after-class conversation with Fujimoto no one had shown any signs of suspicion. It helped that Yukio brought in a new student recently. Got the whole class to focus on just the one new girl instead of each other. Three cheers for community building. Golden trimmings, or however that went.
Rin was in a pretty good mood that afternoon. They were doing physical training so he was prepared to more or less check out and enjoy the light exercise. The teacher with weird facial hair was droning on and on about how dangerous leapers could be and the rules of the pit and blah blah blah. Rin heard “run in a circle” and he knew everything he needed to know.
The Izumo in his head would tell him not to “show off” and then glare at him in a way that meant she really wanted to tell him “don’t get your head cut off doing something stupid”. But, see, Rin knew how to regulate his own speed while still having a little fun. So imaginary-Izumo didn’t have to worry so much. He was a moron but he wasn’t stupid.
He watched Izumo and the new girl do their laps and how Izumo kept glancing back when the new girl nearly tripped over her own clothes with every step. The new girl got reprimanded and Izumo said something to her with a snobbish flip of her hair before they ascended the ladder.
Surprisingly enough though, the new girl—geez Rin would really need to catch her name sometime—looked overjoyed when she stepped off the ladder and not angry. That reaction was weird, Izumo tended to make people want to chuck her in front of a moving bus. It was like a defensive mechanic or whatever. So it was nice to see her making friends. Well, more friends, if you counted Paku.
And what was the deal with Paku, anyway? Rin thought. He didn’t get their friendship at all. And Paku seemed super uncomfortable with all this exorcist stuff! Did Izumo just insist on her crush sticking around because she wanted a cover story? Or was she doing that round about I-want-comfort-but-don’t-know-how-to-ask-for-it thing? And if she was, why wasn’t Rin enough of a comfort for her? Not that he was jealous of Paku or anything. But where was Paku when Izumo was crying late at night in her cell? Doing math homework? He was the one on the other side of the wall tapping out her favourite song to calm her down!
Rin felt his tail twitching up a storm under his shirt and forced himself to chill out. Izumo having more friends was a good thing. He wasn’t being replaced, she was just finally getting the love and attention she deserved. That’s all there was to it. Mmhm. Yes. He wasn't jealous of Paku.
Soon enough it was Rin’s time in the ring, he tried not to look too excited about it but he hadn’t had the chance to really let loose in a while, and he had some emotions to get out of his system! He was bouncing on the balls of his feet, wishing their weird teacher would pull the damn lever faster. The farthest reaper from them croaked in confusion as its chain went slack and Rin was off.
His running partner, the cool guy with the rooster hair, kept a decent pace. Nothing outstanding but the dude clearly worked out. Rin took a page out of his book and made sure to keep just a few paces ahead of Rooster Guy at all times.
Something his partner seemed to catch on to.
‘Cause, one moment Rin was running along happy enough to stretch his legs and then the next there was a pressure against his back and the world went spinning.
He landed in a heap in the sand. One of the Leapers croaked excitedly, its haunches shimmying, and he whipped his head around to snarl get back but-
“STOP!” Their teacher shrieked, slamming on the lever.
The leaper was yanked back to its cage, its flesh bulging against the bars. Rin almost felt bad for it. Their teacher marched down to the sand all in a huff and Rin steeled himself for what was coming.
And then. Their teacher went over to…the other guy. Oh.
What?
Rin scrambled to his feet and started jogging over to them. Thanks to his sensitive ears, he could already hear what they were saying across the pit.
“Suguro, that was entirely unacceptable! Why on earth would you trip one of your comrades? Especially around hostile demons?” Their teacher demanded.
Rooster Guy—Suguro! Man, even his name sounded cool—crossed his arms, looking defensive. “Sensei, that guy wasn’t taking the training even a little bit seriously! He stayed exactly one meter ahead of me and wasn’t paying any attention to the leaper’s movements. He spaces out during all our other classes too! His notebook is just full of doodles!”
Which! Hey! No it wasn’t! Rin had some song lyrics scribbled down in there too! It wasn’t his fault that he already knew everything the cram school was teaching.
Their teacher sighed, shaking his head. “Young man that’s no excuse. It’s not your responsibility to make sure your fellow students are working hard. That falls on them and it falls on us, your teachers. Now…what to do with you?”
At that ominous sentence Rin picked up his pace. A prickle of unease forcing him to go faster until he skidded up to the two of them. “Ah, sensei! Wait, it’s fine, Suguro didn’t do anything wrong. It’s true, I wasn’t paying attention at all. I failed the exercise so I should be the one punished.”
The other two stared at him for interrupting—Suguro with confusion, and their teacher with something Rin couldn’t place. Their teacher hummed but still shook his head. “Young Okamoto, that’s very kind of you, but Suguro was out of line. Suguro, since you have such strong feelings about our exercise today, you get to run the course again. Okamoto, you can head back up with the others.”
“Oh, uh…sure, okay.” Rin spared one look back over his shoulder at Suguro as he headed towards the ladder. The other teen looked confused, but still managed to glare at him when he caught Rin looking. Jeez, Rin felt like an idiot for getting so worried. This was True Cross after all. He scaled the ladder quickly, still mentally kicking himself for forgetting just how soft the teachers here were on their students. Samael would throw a fit if all those rich donor parents pulled out because the exorcist cram school was too hard on their kids. In these classrooms, there were no threats. Maybe if he reminded himself of that fact seventy more times he’d start to believe it.
When he got to the top, two other boys quickly jogged up to him. The bald one and the pink one whose names were…something or other. “What happened down there?” The bald one started. “Is Bon okay?”
"Yeah, he's fine. What's that guy's deal, anyway?" Rin huffed, hoping these guys were the chatty type.
Pinky winced. "Ooh, boy...Bon's a pretty intense guy, y'know? He works real hard to get where he is. He can't stand guys who just coast on by."
"He's the young master of our temple in Kyoto, the Myo Dha sect." Bald explains. "It used to be pretty prosperous until...the Blue Night. It lost all of its worshippers and the temple fell on hard times. We've had to work twice as hard just to get to this point. So, it's a sore spot when people don't try."
It was Rin's turn to wince. Always nice to be reminded that his birth incited mass suffering for all the humans he hung out with. "Yeesh, yeah, that sucks. Are you guys his brothers, then?"
Pinky burst out into wild laughter and Bald had the courtesy to look politely remiss. "No, just childhood friends. Our families were part of the sect so he's our dear young master."
"And the 'Bon' nickname..."
"What are you tellin' this guy?" Suguro growled from behind them.
Rin spun around and raised a brow at the other teen. His chest was still slightly heaving, a shine to his forehead. Guess he had a good time with the leaper. "Nothin'," he said at the same time Bald and Pinky chimed in.
"Just making sure you're okay!" From Bald.
"The Blue Night." From Pinky.
Suguro's face grew doubly flushed and he shouldered his way up to his friends. "Why are you telling him about that?"
Bald's mouth was moving but he wasn't saying anything so Rin decided to come to the rescue. "I was just wondering what makes a guy like you tick. I need to know if I should watch out for more flyin' kicks." He said it as a joke but Suguro didn't find it funny.
"You'll only have to watch your back if you keep goofing off in class. That kind of attitude gets people killed you know."
Rin rolled his eyes but before he could respond their teacher interrupted. Going on about some "kitten" that needed his attention? He claimed the Paladin would be sent in to watch over them in his absence but pretty much sprinted to the door. Talk about unreliable. "Anyway," Rin continued, "what makes you so sure I'm goofin' off? I'm trying my best too." A blatant lie, but the other teen didn't have to know that.
Suguro's lip was starting to curl. His eyes darted over to the pit and something in his attitude straightened up. "Oh yeah? Then why don't we prove just how dedicated we are. We'll both go up and touch a leaper. Whoever chickens out first wins."
"You're on!" Rin snorted, rocking back on his heels. "Is what you thought I'd say. Like hell am I risking my place here just to prove myself to you."
That flush on Suguro's cheeks pooled even higher on his face, his forehead a brilliant crimson. "You're just scared!" He said, shoving a finger at Rin. "Watch how a real man does it." And before anyone could convince him otherwise, he was climbing back down into the pit.
"You're gonna hurt yourself." Rin called lazily after him.
"Bon, come back!" Bald cried.
Pinky whistled. "Aim for the eyes, Bon!"
At all the commotion, the girls finally wandered over. Izumo cast one sharp look down at Suguro before turning that biting gaze up to Rin. "Why's that guy back in the pit?"
"He's trying to prove himself." Rin shrugged.
Izumo scoffed, a harsh mutter of "boys," under her breath.
Suguro stepped forwards towards the leapers in their cages. Stance wide and tension billowing off of his form. "I'll show you! I'll show all of you! 'Cause I'm going to be the one to take down Satan once and for all!"
The resounding silence was made all the louder by Izumo's sudden laughter. Rin was tempted to join her.
What was Suguro thinking? Satan couldn't be defeated. Not with big brother Lucifer's help and not with Rin standing by as his father's ultimate weapon. As the extension of Satan, Rin knew that as hard as Suguro had worked so far, they were on entirely different levels. Izumo's laughter pitched even higher and Rin found himself wishing that would be enough to get Suguro to give up on this dream. If only because he wasn't sure he could stand the sight of Suguro's blood on his hands.
"That's your dream? How childish and stupid can someone get?" Izumo chuckled.
Suguro hesitated, and that's all it took.
The leaper lunged and Rin jerked to lunge after it. A hand fisted itself in his shirt and yanked him back into place just as Paladin Fujimoto dropped from the observation deck and got in between Suguro and the rogue demon.
The older man was saying something to the teen but Rin couldn't hear it over the blood still rushing in his ears. He glanced back and found Izumo, her knuckles white where she held onto him. She very subtly shook her head.
Rin swallowed back the adrenaline and forced himself to relax. He nodded back, falling into a more neutral posture. He was a normal cram school student. Completely ordinary with ordinary human reactions.
When Fujimoto and Suguro got back up to the rest of the class, the other boy looked thoroughly rattled. The Paladin gave him one more pat on the back before nudging him towards his friends. Fujimoto cleared his throat and turned to address the rest of them. "Now, while it is very dumb to put your life on the line for the sake of pride, it's also very silly to laugh at someone's dream."
Izumo flushed, her arms crossing in a huff.
"Everyone has a drive, something that gets 'em out of bed every day ready to face the hell that is being an exorcist. They have to, or else no one'd take this job." The Paladin continued. "Dreams are a powerful thing, and I'd encourage each of you to seriously consider what it is that's keeping you here. Judge your own reasons before you judge someone else's. And you never know, something that seems impossible," those deep red eyes slid over to Rin and he felt himself bristle, "could still come true."
The Paladin let them sit in chastised quiet for a few seconds before clapping his hands. "Now! How about we finish up with some core strengthening exercises for today!" He was met with a chorus of groans from his students.
///\\\///\\\
When Rin was put back in his cell he didn't make it to his bed before his young body collapsed to the ground. His skin itched unpleasantly, stinging from fresh welts and cuts that littered his arms and legs.
He felt himself change, flames flaring to life around him as his demon heart took over to try and heal things up as best as it could. It didn't help. It just made him feel even hotter, his throat so dry he was amazed it hadn't torn itself open yet.
He limped his arm through the air until he caught the edge of his blanket. Pulling it down to where he was curled on the floor was an exercise in pain tolerance like nothing his trainers could ever imagine. Despite all the heat pouring off of him, he still shivered as he clutched onto his blanket. Curling around it for dear life.
The worst part was knowing he had more training in the morning. The eight year old would get only a short break where he would feel just a little bit better and then his trainers would be back again.
He couldn't complain, though. Because who'd ever heard of a sword or a gun getting tired?
Rin wasn't allowed to be weak. That's all there was to it. So he swallowed down all his ugly tears and disgusting loneliness and focused on healing. He had to be the very best so his dad could have a good body to use.
There was no other choice.