Chapter Text
05/05 - 03:14
He’s so tired of nightmares. For the millionth time since leaving the Neo World Program, he jerks awake in the pitch black of the night. The only relief is that he can’t remember a second of it no matter how hard he tries to look back on it.
Loose hair tickles the back of his neck incessantly. No matter how much his nails scrape at the raw skin it doesn’t get any better. If anything the fresh skin is even more itchy. Black strands are scattered all over the pillow, taunting him.
In a last ditch effort he drags himself to the shower and stands under the pounding water. Only as the water trails down him does it click that he hasn't taken his pyjamas off. But even then he doesnt make a move, letting them simply soak in the water as they cling to his body.
The exposed fresh skin sears under the pounding heat but he doesn’t even consider moving out of the way. While his mind may be fogged up, he simply breathes it in. It’s all he can do to press his head up against the cooler tiles of the shower. It's doesn’t clear the fog that’s descending over his head but it does ground him slightly.
He can see the thin black strands slowly washing down. Bit by bit the water slowly turns the faintest shade of pink as water runs off his neck and body. His mind clings to the sight, unable to pull away from the mix of black and pink underneath him. He probably shouldn’t be so disappointed when the water does finally begin to run clear.
However, even then he doesn’t move from his spot. Water still crashes against him and the heat still sears through him down to his bones. As long as he stands here everything is distant and covered in a thick haze. He can’t feel the unending itching. All he can feel is the heat and water.
How long does he stay there unmoving? An hour? Longer? Almost as if chastising him, the water slowly begins to grow colder and colder. Every inch of heat being sapped out and leaving him shivering and itchy. This must be a limit to the Future Foundations resources. As much as he wants to critise it, it’s actually impressive the hot water lasted this long in this day and age.
Despite the cold now slicing through him, he still doesn’t want to actually move out if it’s path. He should. He really needs to get out and get warm. The chattering of his teeth feels like a jackhammer to the inside of his head. And yet he just stands there. It’s all he can do to reach over and turn off the water. The unsteady dripping of his own soaking wet clothes is the only sound left in the room. The only sound other than the screaming and pounding sounds from within his body.
~~~
05/05 - 05:16
Food. He needs food. Somewhere past the haze of his mind he can feel his stomach churning and growling angrily. Somehow he hadn’t had his fill yesterday.
He’s only just pried himself out of his wet clothes but it must almost be morning by this point - without a clock to look at it’s hard to be sure though. A more than appropriate time for food if you ask him. Then again, when there is nothing else to do in the day is there such a thing as an inappropriate time for food?
As usual the kitchen is devoid of life when he enters. Everyone is silent behind their respective doors but he can’t help but wonder if they’re all asleep or simply laying in bed waiting for the seconds to tick by. Who knows…
Without anyone here for him to cook for he simply grabs some bread and begin making toast. The sooner he can make the food and eat it the better. It’s not like there are many toppings to be found but he spreads on some butter and calls it a day.
“You’re a mess.”
He jumps out of his skin, twisting to try and see who’s coming up behind him but somehow the sight is even more shocking that the noise itself.
Akane’s frail form is leaning against the wall of the corridor. Even now she’s clinging to the walker, every muscle in her body straining feebly. After days of nothing, here she is as if nothing happened. He’s almost tempted to believe that it’s nothing more than an illusion from his addled mind. The only hint she’s real is her frail frame - it’s a stark contrast to how he’s used to seeing her in his memories and dreams.
Of all the times to come back though…why is she here now? It might be wishful thinking but perhaps this isn’t the first time. Maybe she’s been sneaking out every night and they’ve been worried about her for nothing. And then he looks her up and down again and all those worries come back.
“Why thank you.” He sighs and turns back to his food.
Knowing Akane pity wouldn’t be what she needs anyway. If she’s treating this casually then he will too.
“How didja screw your hair up that bad? Didn’t you have that long fancy hair.” Her voice has a slightly croaky edge to it but its surprisingly firm despite her weakened form. And yet in spite of that, there’s still something distinctly Akane about it. An unfaltering strength hidden behind every word. If he hadn’t physically seen her he might be tricked into thinking she was the same as ever.
He doesn’t bother turning around as she approaches. It’s not like she can sneak up on him. Every step she takes drags out as she shuffles along.
“It was getting long and in the way. I needed to cut it.” He keeps his voice as steady as possible.
Is is he supposed to explain why he really cut it? I got some of my memories back and now my brain is broken so I had to hack off my hair. Yeah, he’s going to sound very stable and sane after that. Then again, what difference does it make if Akane sees him as stable and sane.
Even so, she doesn’t slow down or stop. In fact, after an arduous minute or two, he finds her standing right behid him. She’s grinning ear to ear, eyes alight like a child on Christmas day.
“What’s that look for?” He sighs and finally turns towards her.
“I can do some hairdressin' for ya!” She turns her back to the counter, using her elbows to keep her up. “Anythin’ to tidy up that mop.” Her judgemental hand wave isn’t appreciated.
“Thank you but I think I can manage. I’m more qualified than you after all.” He waves her away and takes a large bite of his toast. He doesn’t need to entertain this - especially not when his food is right there in front of him.
“It sure looks like it.”
Realistically, the first hair he’s ever cut was his own yesterday. It might not be the most flattering example but that changes nothing. He just needed it gone, he wasn’t aiming for a perfect model haircut. Maybe if he had used scissors he would have done better. Either way it’s perfectly fine…
His hands go up immediately to run through the hacked locks. Feeling every inch of the lopsided hair, “I was using a piece of broken mirror, I didn’t have any scissors to hand so it got a little messy. I wasn’t trying to make it look good.”
“Eh, I thought you were supposed to be Mr Perfect or whatever. What’s wrong with lettin’ me fix it for ya?”
Mr Perfect, huh? He seems to be failing at that a lot recently. What would the doctors say if they saw his ragged look right now? The thought makes him chuckle a little internally. They would most certainly pitch a fit over the whole thing. Good. For the first time he actually wants to see the bastards.
“Why do you want to fix it anyway.” He sets down his toast and regards her.
She’s been reclusive for days, running away when he saw her at night, and now she just wants to cut his hair. He can’t truly look that bad. Can he? Perhaps checking himself over in the mirror might not be such a bad idea.
She turns and looks at the floor. Her matted hair flops in front of her, hiding her face from view. He can just about see her biting her lip underneath the thick layer of hair.
“I dunno. You just look all pathetic. Don’t you wanna look normal?” She mumbles quietly. Her feet brush against one another distractingly.
Pathetic? He wants to feel angry. He wants to feel offended. He wants to take his food and leave but doesn’t do any of those things.
‘Look normal’. That’s exactly what he didn’t want. He needed it all gone. If he had wanted to look the same as usual he’d have left it as it was, long and wiry and getting everywhere no matter what he tried.
Even so looking at her now it’s impossible to squeeze out the word no. He takes a deep breath in and folds his arms. He’s going to regret this isn't he… It wouldn’t be the first time.
“You better not make it worse.”
Her entire face lights up at once. Just like that she looks up from the ground, grinning once again. In fact, maybe she’s a little too excited about this all. At least she has some kind of energy though he supposes. It’s better than a walking husk of a person.
“What are you sayin’? I've got a whole lotta younger siblin's - I know how to cut hair. I ain’t gonna make it worse than it is now.” She carefully releases the walker and stands resolutely with her hands on her hips.
“Sure.”
With newfound purpose and energy, she starts rustling though the nearby draws for any kind of scissors. He watches on curiously as she sweeps by like a hurricane. Her walker looks more like an extension of her own body as it glides about the room with ease. There’s no rhyme or reason to her searching, she’s just tearing apart everything she sees. It’s almost impressive. Almost.
Yet despite the inefficiency, she does eventually pull out a shiny pair of scissors from the cutlery draw. Brandishing them like a sword she begins waving it in front of him proudly. It’s hard not to be a little worried that she’s about to poke one of their eyes out.
Miraculously they both make it out fine as she backs away, scissors now safely at her side. Although her legs are still shaky, she moves with much more purpose this time. In no time at all she’s moved over to the couch, her scissors bouncing against the arm rest as she taps it impatiently.
“Come on then.” She beckons him with a wiggle of her scissors. Not at all worrying in the slightest. What has he gotten himself into here?
“I need to finish my food.” His pieces of toast are still sat on the table calling to him. She couldn’t have interrupted after he got to eat? His stomach growls in agreement. Unfortunately that agreement doesn’t spread any further.
“What? Just eat it while I’m cutting your damn hair.”
His hands reach down to grip the plate with his food protectively. Putting his body between her and his precious food is all he can do.
“No. I’m not letting you get hair all over my food.” Just the thought of it makes him want to gag. There’s been enough hair all over the place for one day. Can’t he even eat one meal in peace?
“Fine.” Her eye roll speaks otherwise.
Of course she wouldn’t understand. He’s talking to the wrong person here. The food might as well no exist to her…
That’s when an idea comes into his mind, “Why don’t you eat my other slice. I’ll be finished sooner if you do.”
His stomach cries out desperately but he ignores it. No matter how angry and vocal his body is, it doesn’t need this food right now. He can go a few more hours and be no worse off. Akane on the other hand… Hadn’t he been wanting to force her to eat the other day. She’s right here in front of him.
Her eyebrows crease together as she tries to read him. Thankfully post despair Akane is still, at her core, the same as the one he remembers from the Neo World Program. No amount of effort is going to help her read him of all people.
“Why don’t you just eat it after?”
He scrunches up his nose in disgust, holding the plate up in front of her temptingly “No one wants to eat cold toast and I’m not wasting the food."
Even as he speaks he can see her nose twitching erratically. Beast instinicts reawakening from scent alone. She doesn’t even bother trying to hide her dry swallow.
“You’re weird, you know that?” She scoffs but she takes the toast anyway.
Her shaking hand grip the edges of the toast, slowly pulling at the bread as if she’s never seen it before in her life. Instead of taking large bites she simply nibbles at the edges, more like one of the four dark devas than the beast she used to be. Even so, its better than nothing so he’ll take what he can get.
“I am technically four years old. It would most likely be stranger if I was normal…” He mumbles as he tucks into his toast.
“Four years old?” Akane asks between nibbles, cocking her head to the side like a small puppy. “How does that even work?”
“That’s when Hope’s Peak messed with me.” He shrugs casually.
He’s not actually sure if Akane is even aware of his history with Hope’s Peak. It’s not like he sat down and spoke to most the other despairs about it before everything happened. It never seemed neccessary to talk about. Then again Junko did like bashing the school whenever possible so its impossible to be sure.
“Oh right, the Izuru stuff.” Akane nods mid nibble, “Well you ain't like a gour year old at least. At least not like any of my siblin's.” Akane grins, showing off her sharp canines. It’s not exactly high praise but he returns the smile anway.
“Thanks, I guess.” He snorts sarcastically and shoves the last bit of toast in his mouth.
It leaves a dry feeling in his mouth but he swallows it down anyway. It might not exactly be the most filling meal but his stomach has stopped growling at least. It’s enough to see him through.
Akane on the other hand has barely even chewed through a corner. Small scraps are missing around the edge but nothing more. He doesn’t dare say a word though, not even as she sets it back on her plate and moves to grab the scissors.
“Come on then.” With the hand that’s holding her scissors she grips onto the walkers and with the other she gently tugs on his sleeve. “Lets get your hair sorted so I don’t gotta look at it anymore!” Her mischeviously smile isn’t exactly encouraging but he allows himself to be dragged up anyway.
“What about the toast?” He frowns down at the plate, picking it up in one hand.
“You and the damn toast.” She rolls her eyes and snorts, “Just bring it with you. I’ll eat it while I’m working.”
Just the thought of her getting butter and crumbs in his freshly cut hair makes him break out in goosebumps but he doesn’t say a word. It’ll be fine. He can always just have another shower if he needs to.
So without argument they both shuffle back to Akane’s room. After a few steps she releases her hold on him to focus on moving as fast as she can but he hovers right behind her anyway. It would feel wrong to storm ahead into her room without her, besides at lest this way he can keep an eye on her.
When they finally make it to her room she kicks open the door with her foot and hobbles into the room. Cautiously Izuru stalks behind her, scanning the room as they enter. It’s not particularly different to any of the other rooms, it’s not like there is enough stuff in this place to do any personalisation, however there are a few dirty clothes littered randomly with no rhyme or reason. Knowing how Akane’s room had been in the Neo World Program he’s fully aware it could be worse so he puts up no fuss as she leads him in.
Instead of moving over to the bathroom she stumbles over to the bed, kicking her walker aside as soon as she takes a seat. Pointing with her scissors at the floor she barks orders at him, “Sit here.”
“On the floor?”
“You got a problem? I gotta be able to get to all your hair so you need to be shorter than me. I ain’t standing up the whole time - not if you want decent hair.”
It’s hard to argue with that. Sucking in a deep breath he takes his spot on the floor, crossing his legs and staring forward at a random point of the wall.
Humming to herself Akane snips her scissors menacingly. The blades are still nowhere near his head but it sends a shudder down him anyway. He almost jumps out of his skin when something cold brushes against him but instead of smooth metal he feels tough nails slowly brushing through his locks.
“What didja do to your neck?” She tuts like a chiding teacher rather than the bullheaded athlete he’s always seen her as. The serious tone most certainly doesn’t suit her.
He shivers as her nails prod at the sore spot on the nape of his neck. He has to dig his nails into his palms to remind himself not to flinch back. She’s just being curious and not thinking. She’s just being Akane.
Gritting his teeth he hisses at her, “Leave it!”
For a few seconds her hands just fall motionless, still resting uncomfortably on his neck. But right when he’s about to reach back and yank her hands off she shifts them away.
“Sure….whatever.”
“Look, it was itchy. I ended up scratching it a bit much, that’s all.” He crosses his arms childishly.
Surely that much should have been obvious! Was the scratching a little bit much? Maybe. But she’s not one to be judging him. Especially not now after everything. Even so, he probably shouldn’t let her see his scabbed over knuckles.
“Well don’t scratch while I’m working.”
With a short huff she begins putting her scissors to work. There’s nothing he can do but sit there and listen to the soft snipping as the scissors get to work. Listening to the sounds alone is almost soothing. At least it is if he pretends he hasn’t give Akane of all people the power over his hair. Sat here in the middle of the room he can’t even keep track of progress with a mirror. He has to soley rely on what little cues he’s given.
He can’t even imagine what she’s going for when she says ‘make him look like normal’. Since awakening as Izuru he’s only ever had long straight hair. Silently he prays that she’s not going to give him a straight bob or bowl cut…
“Sit up straight.” Akane chides firmly, hitting the back of his head gently. Following her directions he straightens up and bites down on his bottom lip. He hadn’t even noticed he was collapsing in on himself. “Now stay still. Don’t wriggle.”
In the past he’s never had any issues with sitting perfectly still but now all of a sudden its like ants have crawled into his trousers. Every little movement of her scissors has him jolting and wriggling. Doing his best to channel the nervous energy away he starts bouncing his leg softly.
“I’m not a child…” Somehow the words don’t sound as believable when he says them aloud as they sounded in his head.
“And I don’t want to have ta beat some sense into ya.”
Trying to settle himself he closes his eyes and forces a few slow breaths. His mind slowly drifts to his memory of Akane. If the version of him from inside the program could see this moment right now would he have been surprised. All of him memories are flooded with Akane booming around the place. Her energy completely drowning every room. And yet here she is quietly working at his hair.
For the rest of the ‘session’ she remains silent and diligent. She’s so quiet that when the scissors finally fall to her side and she opens her mouth to speak he’s taken aback.
“There ya go!” She chuffs and nudges his shoulder firmly. “Go check it out.”
He doesn’t need to be prompted more than once. Not waiting for Akane to retrieve her walker he makes a beeline towards the bathroom. Every step he takes has his heart pounding faster and faster. The thundering drone almost completely overtaking him.
When he finally steps in front of the mirror he can’t bring himself to look up. What if it has been completely butchered? What if he’s just let her completely wreck his appearance. Sure, the haggard and hacked up look wasn’t exactly great but at least that was him. He had some control. This is all Akane.
This is stupid. It’s just some damn hair. And if it does look a state then its too late now. At this point he needs to look because if there is any damage then its already too late.
Pulling himself together he forcefully opens his eyes and meets the gaze of his reflection. The breath catches in his throat. Instantly his hands jump up to his hair, rubbing through them just to be sure its definitely not an illusion.
“See, you look more like yourself now dude!” Akane preens but he completely ignores her.
Instead of trying to recover the spindly straight hair he’s always had, she’s neatened up each of his hacked away locks making them into perfect little spikes. If his hair wasn’t still jet black he could be fooled into thinking Hajime Hinata was staring back at him. Every lock is still perfectly in place, all the way down to the slightly longer strand at the top of his head.
“I -”
He can see Akane grinning smugly through the mirror. She still has one hand on the walker but the other is set on her hip, “I told ya I know what I'm doing.”
Of all the skills he would have gone to Akane for, this most certainly wasn’t one of them. Sure, on the island she’d mentioned her family but she most certainly didn’t mention all this. If he wasn’t so wrapped up in staring at his reflection he might be embarassed by his sudden inability to even form words.
“Thank you.”
“What'cha bein’ so polite for?” Although she tries to tilt her head away even she can’t hide the bright pink flush that appears across her taut cheeks. Even her awkward little cough does nothing to cut through the moment, “Whatever. Y’know we can dye your hair too. I saw some dye in one of that medical lookin’ room the other day.”
He could swear his heart skips a beat, “Dye it…? Why would I need to dye it?” He mumbles but he’s instantly imagining his reflection with brown hair once more. Every inch of Hope’s Peak scrubbed clean from him. Everything except the scar at least. Going back to his original brown hair after everything feels somehow more surreal than everything else they’ve been through.
As if reading his mind, Akane pushes herself up to his side. She’s still slightly shorter than him but that doesn’t stop her from reaching into his hair to rifle through it softly, “Don’tcha wanna make it brown again. Black don’t really suit you, y'know.”
His expression hardens, “Yes. I want to dye it.” Yes he wants this. No, he needs this. He can finally be done with the black hair for good. Or at least until his new roots grow back.
“Come on then.” She grabs his hand and he lets her drag him from the room to begin their journey.
Even with shorter hair it takes longer than he would like to go through the whole process of bleaching and dyeing but he really shouldn’t complain. By the time they’ve finished the entire room reeks of chemicals, the scents have undoubtedly soaked into every inch of fabric. Although they’d been smart enough to move into the bathroom when handling the bleach, both of their clothes are stained, bleach and dye dripping absolutely everywhere. He doesn’t even want to think about how much damage he’s done to his hair but he can afford a little damage…right?
Sonia and Kazuichi must be able to hear them chatting inside Akane’s room and there’s no way they can’t smell the chaos but neither of them make any moves to knock on the door. For a little while its like him and Akane are in their own little bubble. He knows eventually that bubble will have to pop and he has no idea if Akane will ever willingly interact like this with him or any of the others again but for now he decides to just enjoy the moment. The rest of his worries are for tomorrow to deal with
~~~
05/05 - 20:13
After a few hours Akane’s eyes have started drooping even while she’s sat up. Despite the fact she’s yawning, she refuses to admit she’s tired even once. It takes him forcibly dragging her to bed to make her get any rest. However as soon as her head hits the pillow she’s out. Once he’s sure she’s asleep he grabs all the empty dye bottles and leaves the room, quietly closing the door behind him.
As he steps out into the common room to throw away the empty bottles he notices the soft sound of Sonia mumbling. Looking around the room she’s no where to be seen but even if he can’t catch her words he knows what her voice sounds like by now. Cautiously he steps out from the common room and peers around the next doorway onto the Neo World room once more.
Just like before Sonia is sat beside one of the pods, her hand reaching inside to hold the persons hand. Even though she’s just sat here her hair has been perfectly styled and thrown over her shoulder. All of them have been given exactly the same clothes and yet somehow it looks so much more fashionable on her.
“- not since I said I wanted to wake up you guys. However I heard Akane talking with Ha-Kamukura this morning. Both of their voices sounded so happy for once. Akane sounded like normal - for a little while it felt like she had come back.” Sonia sighs heavily, adujsting her arm ever so slightly, “I do not know if you would remember any of our past or Kamukura anymore however Kamukura is the name Hajime goes by now. At first I could not really see it no matter how much I tried but I can see the similarities now. I do not believe he has really changed much despite how he appears on the surface.”
“You can still call me Hajime if you want to.” He clears his throat and steps fully out into her view.
He's not sure why he says it. Even now hearing Hajime’s name only makes him think of those memories. The ghost of someone else lingering within him. And yet hearing Sonia say that now…something feels different. For once he doesn't need to think about Hope's Peak and everything that happened when she says his name. Perhaps it's selfish but the feeling isn't entirely unpleasant.
“Kamu -” She stops immediately as she catches sight of him, “Hajime?” Her mouth falls open at the mere sight of him.
“Who are you talking to?” He takes a few steps forwards, trying to peek into the pod she’s sat beside.
Her hand is wrapped around the pale hand of Peko. Her long silver hair is still loose, hanging in waves like a halo around her head.
“H-Hajime? Your hair?”
“Akane helped me sort it out.”
He grabs a chair and drags it over to the pod casually. Of course he was aware of what a shock it was going to be but he half hoped that if he acts like it is completely normal the others will follow suit. The last thing he needs is more people watching him.
“I hope it looks okay. Having the long hair was starting to become a burden. It’s much more comfortable this way.” He gently reaches up and runs his fingers through it, rustling it until the spikes fall casually around him.
At those words Sonia immediately closes her mouth and smiles sweetly, “It looks wonderful. This style suits you much better.”
“I agree.” He tries his best to smile comfortingly.
Sonia suddenly shakes her head as if she just realised something. Instantly she drops Peko’s hand and leans forwards towards him, “Oh sorry, Kirigiri is not here. Something has been going on with her and the others. They have been busy with some important discussions for the last few days.”
He frowns somberly. What could possibly have happened that would warrant this kind of response from the three of them? Could it be that the future foundation is making some kind of moves? If so then it was bound to happen sooner or later. If anything he should be impressed they lasted this long. But more pressingly, why is Sonia telling him this all of a sudden?
“Why are you telling me this?”
Sonia cocks her head to one side, narrowing her eyes uncertainly, “You were looking for Kirigiri, were you not?” She looks around the room cautiously before leaning in even closer, “She told me about what you were trying to do here.” A slight pink flush rises to her cheeks and he catches her biting down on the inside of her cheek.
So much for privacy. He should have known Kirigiri wouldn’t keep his secrets forever. Realistically she should have told everyone a long time ago, and yet the thought still stings a little.
“What did she tell you?” He grits his teeth and leans back in his chair as far as he possibly can without actually moving the chair itself.
“I just saw all the blood on your pod.” Sonia nods over his shoulder at the pod. Sure enough small smudges of blood are still visible on the exterior, “I was worried and so Kirigiri explained you had been using the pod to reenter the Neo World Program from time to time. She made it clear that you had no ill intents though. I think perhaps she was just a little worried about you. We all are.”
Her hand darts forward, gently laying ontop of his own, her perfectly manicured and soft skin a stark contrast to the calloused skin of Akane or Kazuichi. As soon as her hand makes contact with his, his hand freezes in place. It’s as if he’s worried that a single twitch of his muscles will scare her off.
He’s not sure how long they sit like that, Sonia’s hand on his own and her gaze fixed on the sleeping form of Peko. Eventually he’s the one who breaks the silence though, “I remember everything now, you know.”
As soon as the words come out Sonia pulls her hand away like his hand just lit on fire. In fact he hears her elbow smash into the back of the chair violently from the force. She must have hit her humerus but her expression is so unchanging that it’s impossible to be completely certain.
“By everything….?” She swallows hard as if a rock has been lodged in her throat. If he’s being honest this isn’t quite the response he was expecting from her of all people.
“I remember everything we did in the Neo World Program. The things from my life before all of this shit are still lost but I at least remember those pieces now.”
He lets his gaze shift away from Sonia, and towards Peko and the others around them. Somehow its easier to admit looking at them instead of looking at Sonia.
“Kamukura, that’s amazing!” Sonia gasps, her eyes opening wider than he thought was humanly possible, “I was so worried you would never remember the others.”
Is she sniffling? He probably shouldn’t be surprised. After everything that happened he can only imagine how alone she was being the only one who remembered fully - that is assuming Akane, Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi haven’t snuck off to watch any of the videos without him knowing. At this point he wouldn’t put it past any of them.
Turning his head to one side he coughs gently before adding, “I said you can call me Hajime.”
“Okay, Hajime.” While her voice is always relatively soft and sweet, there’s something about her voice as she says his original name that makes his stomach flutter. As pathetic as it sounds, its enough to make him smile, “I think this calls for a celebration! Kazuichi and I did find some wine bottles in one of the desk draws the other day.” She winks cheekily and claps her hands together excitably.
“Wine?” He raises an eyebrow. Once upon a time the idea of Sonia drinking would have been completely normal - if not expected - but now with the memories of the Neo World Program running rampant through his mind the thought is somewhat surreal.
“Yes! It seems the old future foundation workers who used to work here were good for something after all.” She grins excitedly.
Now he thinks about it, has he ever drunk alcohol before? Years of life and the thought of getting drunk never once appealed to him but now all of a sudden he finds himself grinning at the thought, “Sure, sounds good.”
“Wonderful!” She claps a little too enthusiastically, “But before we do I just need to finish up here.”
“Finish up? What have you been doing?” He examines the room around him, trying to piece together the plan here. Does she mean talking to Peko.
Blushing deeply she mumbles, “Do not laugh, but I have been talking to them all. I have been keeping them up to date with everything that is happening.” She scratches her neck awkwardly, doing her best to hide her face with her arm.
“Laugh? Why would I laugh?” He frowns uncertainly. Sure, he knows he hasn’t always left the best impression in the past but he’s a little ashamed Sonia thinks that low of him.
“Because its not exactly logical, they can not hear anything I say and yet I spend hours sat here talking to them all every day.”
Many words come to mind at those words but not one of them is laughable. “It isn’t completely illogical. Coma patients have been recorded to hear things going on around them. This isn’t quite the same but we can’t know for sure that they can’t also hear us.”
“You really think so?” She sits up a little straighter, regaining her royal posture.
“I do.” He gives her a firm nod, refusing to allow any uncertainty to slip in. While he can't imagine doing that every day, different people need to do different things to work through grief. He isn't going to be the person to take this away from her.
“Thank you, Hajime.”
“It’s no problem. I’d be happy to join you, if you’d let me.” He gently shuffles his chair a little closer to Peko so he can reach forward to grab the sleeping girls hand the same way Sonia had done with both Peko and Gundham.
“Of course! I am certain all of them would be overjoyed to hear from you too.”
While he’s not sure he agrees, he happily moves around the room with Sonia. They talk to every single pod. They even go back to the pods Sonia had already done so she could introduce each one to Hajime.
There’s something innocent and pure about the joy the oozes off of her with every conversation. An undying hope surviving despite everything. If this isn't proof of the Neo World Program's success then he has no idea what is.
It takes longer than he would have thought to speak to them all but he barely notices the time passing until he looks at a clock. By the time they have finished up dinner has come and gone. Even so every moment was worth it, even if it does end up just being for Sonia's peace of mind. Perhaps it doesn't need to be anything more than that.
However the time of day doesn’t stop Sonia’s plans whatsoever. He suspects it could have been the middle of the night or the crack of dawn and she would still refuse to cancel their ‘party’ plans.
“No, we need to celebrate! Besides, the evening is the best time to have celebratory drinks.” She sternly folds her arms, upturning her nose resolutely.
“What if Kazuichi is sleeping?”
Technically it isn’t actually late - only around 9pm - but it’s not like anyone around here is known for their good sleep schedules. At this he wouldn’t put it past any of them.
Apparently Sonia doesn’t agree though as she waves away his concerns casually, “He will not be asleep yet. However, if he is then we shall just have to wake him.”
Wake him?! Isn’t that going a little too far? As much as she wants to ‘celebrate’ at a certain point sleep has to be more important. After all its not like they’re on a time crunch. There’s nothing stopping them from doing this tomorrow.
Still he does nothing to stop her as she knocks against Kazuichi’s door. Thankfully it seems the other boy wasn’t asleep after all as he swings open the door still dressed in filthy stained clothes. It seems the scrap pieces of metal he’d been working on a few days ago hadn’t disappeared completely, instead they’d all been brought over to his room where they now sit covering the majority of the floor space with the exception of a little Kazuichi sized patch in the middle.
But as soon as Kazuichi catches sight of him he flinches back, “Uh, Izuru? What happened to your hair?!”
“Akane cut and dyed it for me.” He can feel his cheeks slowly warming. Perhaps dyeing it wasn’t a great idea after all. Now he has to live with people staring at him constantly. It’s almost more annoying than the long hair was itself.
“A-Akane?”
“Yes! We need the wine to celebrate Hajime feeling better and Akane leaving her room!” Sonia claps he hands enthusiastically and practically spins on the spot. “Come on, hurry hurry hurry!”
“Why do we need to celebrate?”
“After everything we deserve a celebration.” Neither him nor Kazuichi can argue with that. Deserve might be a bit of a strong word but they could certainly do with a little relaxation time.
Despite his complaints Kazuichi heads back into his room and pulls out a selection of bottles from under his bed. He does his best to balance them all in his arms but him and Sonia have to dart in and sweep up a few to avoid any catastrophes. When he’d heard ‘a few’ bottles he had been imagining two, maybe three, but much to his surprise there are five bottles in total. All the same green bottle of what appears to be red wine.
With the bottles now in hand Sonia turns around to them both excitedly, “We should invite Akane and Fuyuhiko too!”
Seeing her so enthusiastic it’s hard to tell her to stop even if it will end in disappointment. Judging by the glance Kazuichi throws his way he feels the same. Even if they tried to stop her he has no idea if they would be able to.
Unsurprisingly neither Akane nor Fuyuhiko responds to her knocking. Not even when she shouts the plan through their doors. He strains his ears as much as possible to try and listen out for any movement but there’s nothing. Dead silence waiting behind both of them. He’s not sure about Fuyuhiko but Akane was looking pretty dead to the world when he left her. Chances are she’s not waking up any time soon.
Nevertheless Sonia’s spirit hasn’t been dampened in the slightest. Both him and Kazuichi take seats besides each other on the couch as Sonia searches the kitchen for some appropriate glassware. Apparently normal glasses won’t do.
As they both sink into the couch in unison, they sigh and allow their shoulders to brush together. As he turns his head to the side he sees Kazuichi grinning.
“So Hajime, huh?”
Once again his cheeks flush uncomfortably, “I suppose so. Sharing a name or appearance with anything Hope’s Peak related feels wrong after everything.” He scratches the back of his neck only to be reminded of the deep scratches still staining his skin.
“It suits you. I like this look much more.”
People are going crazy with the compliments. Does it really look that much better? It almost feels like perhaps he should be feeling offended instead of complimented…
“Do you -” He pauses mid sentence trying to figure out how to word his question, “Do you remember me before all…this?”
“Some of it…not as much as Sonia or I guess you now…mostly just from dreams.” Kazuichi lowers his voice as he speaks, his eyes drifting down to stare at his lap awkwardly.
Dreams…it makes him wonder how much Fuyuhiko and Akane remember. He’d never forget how he found Fuyuhiko the other day - is there any chance he has gotten some of his memories back. Then again, knowing Fuyuhiko he would probably never tell them. It’s funny to imagine than just a few weeks ago they were sat in a island cabin swearing to be brothers and now they barely even see each other. This entire situation is such a mess…
“This is supposed to be a celebration.” Sonia growls as she plops herself down beside him, shoving wine glasses in each of their hands. “We need a festive spirit not whatever this is.”
“Sure Sonia…” Kazuichi tuts but even as he sips at his wine he can’t hide the slight smile encroaching on his lips.
For a while it is peaceful. After so long of it just being him, Sonia, and Kazuichi it’s starting to feel oddly comfortable. Like it was only ever just the three of them against the world. Even just sitting here chatting about the book Sonia read today feels domestic. As if they really were all just normal classmates.
Maybe its the wine running straight to his head or maybe he’s getting a little too used to spending all his time with just Sonia and Kazuichi but the sound of mere footsteps travelling down the hallway makes his brain stall for a moment. It’s like the bubble around the three of them has been shattered and he is falling into free fall, trying to latch onto any thoughts that pass by him. It takes until Fuyuhiko and Akane round the corner for his brain to finally catch up with what’s going on.
“Yay! You both cameeeee!” Sonia giggles and throws her hands up in the air. The wine glass in her hand sloshes from side to side at the sudden jerking movement but at this point she probably doesn’t even notice.
Colour has never been something she lacks but right now might be the brightest he’s ever seen her. Every inch of skin in her face in tinted pink, all the way from the tips of her ears to her neck. On most people it would look unflattering but Sonia pulls it off with grace, even when she’s swaying sloppily.
“Fuyu! It’s been so long!” Unlike Sonia, Kazuichi actually does manage to set his glass down before he makes any attempt at getting up. Its a good thing he did because he barely even gets his arse up off the cushion before hes lost his balance and is tumbling down once again.
Rubbing his face with the heel of his hand Fuyuhiko grumbles to himself, “Ugh god, I was promised wine. I think I need some more alcohol before I sit through this shit.”
“There’s more wine on the side. Bring all the bottles.” Izuru slurs, waving his hand towards the remaining three bottles of wine of the counter.
Akane grabs two of the bottles as Fuyuhiko picks up the remaining one, “Where d’you find this?” Akane mumbles giving the bottles a once over with an unmistakable frown before passing one over to Sonia.
“In the offices. Someone had a secret stash.” Kazuichi winks cheekily, trying to hold his glass out to Fuyuhiko as if the shorter boy is actually going to top him up.
“No way, sort yourself out.” Fuyuhiko chucks the bottles at him and Kazuichi without giving them a second look before pulling the remaining bottle from Akane's grip, “This ones mine.”
“Glasses are -” Sonia hiccups, pointing over at the counter but neither Akane nor Fuyuhiko make any moves in that direction. Instead they both throw themselves onto a couch across from him Kazuichi and Sonia. As if its the most normal thing in the world Fuyuhiko pops it open and chugs straight from the bottle. He’s barely pulled it from his lips before Akane has snatched it back and taken a swig.
“Oi!” Fuyuhiko wrinkles his nose and tries to reach for the bottle but even in this state Akane is miles faster, “I was gonna drink that.” He crosses his arms stubbornly.
“Too bad.” Akane smirks and takes another swig, “I thought you were too young to drink or whatever.”
“We're over 20 now so it's all fine.” Fuyuhiko tuts and takes the bottle as Akane hands it back to him. As if all hints of disgust have been magically forgotten he downs another mouthful, wiping his mouth on the back of his arm.
“Here’s to being adults!” Kazuichi tries to cheer half heartedly, sarcasm dripping from his words.
God, they actually are adults. Without his memories from before all of this he has no idea what he imagined 21 would feel like but he is willing to bet not like this. Drinking wine they fished out of an abandoned office with a bunch of ex-brainwashed psychos while he’s missing about 16 years of memories. Just your average start to adulthood.
When he was still normal Hajime he probably imagined having a home to go back to and a family that loved him. Maybe he thought he would be in love or married by now. Or perhaps he always dreamed of getting the perfect job and settling down to live comfortably. Who knows. Any hope of that stuff is long gone now. His home probably burned with everything else.
And yet… he looks around the room slowly at the meager collection of people they have left: Sonia, with her pink face that just barely hides her dark bags; Kazuichi who still has oil and grime streaked across his face; Fuyuhiko, who still has an eyepatch covering up the stolen eye which now haunts his eye socket; and Akane with her gaunt form and bleach stained clothes. Home might be long gone by now but for now would it be so bad for this to be home.
Hajime smiles and takes another sip of his wine.